How did jack hartmann die
Near Death Experiences
2012.06.11 03:12 tyman2651 Near Death Experiences
Welcome to NearDeathExperiences! Here you will find stories of how people almost died, and how they felt during and afterwards! It is preferable that your story is an actual near-death experience although in certain cases, close calls will be approved. Please read the difference in definition below.
2016.12.26 22:29 God_loves_irony Idiots Nearly Dying
Almost dying, almost getting seriously injured . . . almost. No actual death, dismemberment, or gore; this sub is for close calls or things that could have gone much worse. This is a Safe For Work sub.
2019.02.16 11:04 AggravatingOnion69 AntiWaterMovement
Did you know that 100% of people who drink water die? This subreddit has been created to raise awareness for how deadly water is to humans, and frankly, everyone and everything. Join the movement!
2023.06.05 08:20 BroccShavings Should Fire Emblem Be More Open About Growth Rates? A Discussion of Possible Answers and FE's Current Expectations
Growth Rates. Love 'em or hate 'em, they're an integral part to Fire Emblem... most of the time (looking at you, Engage Fixed Mode, ruining my intro). But given their importance, isn't it kinda weird that they're sorta hidden? I mean, they're by no means hard to find, just search up a character and go to their wiki page or boot up Serenes Forest. But to the casual player, these statistics are completely hidden, and they may not even know that level ups are random unless somebody tells them or the game makes a passing mention of how units "grow according to their character and class" or something like that.
And that brings me to the current topic of discussion, should Fire Emblem be more open about growth rates? As in, should players be able to see a character's specific growth rates in-game without having to use the internet? It's an odd question, as I can see the answer going either way.
Argument 1: NO, players SHOULD NOT see growth rates This is the approach that is currently taken by mainline Fire Emblem entries, and it's a stance built upon precedent and player immersion.
You see, many different RPGs have level-up mechanics, and they each handle them in pretty different ways. Some are completely random (like FE), some are semi-random with corrections and guaranteed stats thrown in (Like FF7, I believe), some are based off of separate internal values (like, as we'll discuss, Pokémon), and some are totally fixed (like... FE). But the main thread between all of these different mechanics is that the player is, as far as I've seen, left almost completely in the dark as to how exactly everything works behind the scenes. Take Pokémon for example. I played these games all through my childhood and not once did I know what an EV, IV, or any other V was. All I knew was that my little monsters got stronger as their levels went up. And that's kinda what game designers want.
A casual player likely doesn't want to get bogged down by knowledge of how exactly a level up system works. From a game design perspective (I assume), all that the player needs to know is that their characters get stronger as the funny little number next to "LEVEL" goes up. The exact math behind it all would just be confusing and would likely end up as extra, unneeded information.
All the extra information could also break player immersion. Video games are meant to be their own contained world, immersing players into the universe the game has created. Throwing a bunch of numbers at them and basically saying "THIS IS A VIDEO GAME!!!!" would kinda break that immersion, wouldn't it? Like if you were watching a TV show and the boom mic dips into screen. Not an exact one-to-one example, but the point remains the same: the viewer is reminded of the artificiality of the media and suspension of disbelief is broken.
So obviously, not showing the player the inner workings of the level up system is a precedent for a reason, as it keeps the player from being bogged down by extra info and helps retain immersion.
Also, as a quick secondary point, it's possible that growth rates are hidden due to business practices similar to why cheat codes exist. To be more specific, it helps sell more guide books. My old FE9 guide book does a very, VERY poor job of it, but I would assume that something like an official guide book would be the place one could find growth rates for each character. This practice of keeping growths hidden to encourage people to buy a guide book could possibly be the reason growth rates are still hidden.
Argument 2: YES, players SHOULD see growth rates This argument is more based off of Fire Emblem's unique traits among other RPGs.
Units in Fire Emblem, like characters in any RPG, are judged based off of their stats and how those stats grow. However, I personally feel like FE is in a very interesting position to just straight up tell players how level ups work without overloading them with information.
Some other RPGs use a collection of values, equations, or other internal factors to dictate the stats gained on a level up. FE, however, uses a simple percentage value to determine whether a stat is gained or not. In fact, the process is so simple that most modern ROM hacks include a feature that allows a player to see a unit's growths on the stat screen. Beyond percentages, the level up system is also very simple in how it distributes values compared to other RPGs. In FE, rather than gaining a certain number of points in each stat, level ups are more of a black-and-white system: you either gain the stat or you don't. This makes the information much easier to display, as there are no real equations and a player can intuitively learn that something as simple as the number 60 signifies that a unit as a 60% chance to gain 1 point of strength, and a 40% chance to not gain any strength at all. Thus, Fire Emblem doesn't have the same concerns of overloading a player with information by revealing how the level ups work.
Fire Emblem's numbers are also generally more impactful compared to most other RPGs. I remember seeing a discussion in the comment section of a post where one person made a point about how FE's simplicity was one of its biggest strengths. Basically, 1 point of strength = 1 more damage, 1 point of defense = 1 less damage, and so on. The calculations are easy to do and make individual numbers so much more important and, critically, easy to understand (especially compared to other RPGs). This means that in a level up system where a unit can usually only gain one stat at a time, level ups become much more important to the player. Thus, more players appreciate knowing the percentage chance of a stat increasing.
Now, this last one is a personal example, but it's what got me thinking about this idea in the first place, so just bear with me. I was playing a Fire Emblem fangame called FE7x: Immortal Sword, and it has this neat little system where the color of a stat's text tells you whether that stat is above or below average. However, even after a good deal of digging, I couldn't find the specific growth rates for each character. Now, I know they're probably out there somewhere, but the point is I couldn't find them. As odd as it sounds, this kind of hurt my experience with the game.
It was here that I realized that knowing a unit's growth rates had become an integral part of how I play the game, and had become a major source of enjoyment for me. And while I know that I can find growths for every other game, that's only because I know they exist. A casual, first-time player may miss out on growth rates entirely, and I have to ask: are they missing out on a key part of the Fire Emblem experience?
Overall, Fire Emblem is in a neat spot where it could reasonably get away with telling the player how its simple level up mechanics work. And with how integral growth rates have become to Fire Emblem play and discussion, there's a solid reason for this information to become easily available.
I would like to hear your thoughts about this matter of whether or not FE should show growth rates to the player, as I'm genuinely curious what other people think about this issue. That was the original intent of this post, after all.
However, as I thought more on this topic, I came to another interesting question that I think is very pertinent to this discussion. Namely...
SIDE DISCUSSION/BRAIN TEASER: Does Fire Emblem, through its design, EXPECT you to know a character's growth rates? This question gave me more of a headache than I had originally anticipated. The obvious answer is no, right? Fire Emblem hides growth rates from those that don't go out looking for them, so it obviously shouldn't expect you to actually know what a unit's growth rates are, right? Well... this is where things get weird.
You see, in recent years, Fire Emblem has been giving a lot more references to how growth rates function, namely with the early renditions of the Aptitude skill straight up telling the player that the skill increases growth rates by X%. But we'll talk about Aptitude more in-depth later on, BELIEVE ME.
This question gets more confusing as you do case studies on specific units in recent games
CASE STUDY 1: Engage Anna
Let's look at Anna in Engage. Anna, as many of us likely know, is a goofy little unit because of her base class of axe fighter, base strength growth of 15% (third lowest), and base magic growth of 50% (tied for the highest). But for our discussion we must ask: does Engage expect us to know this fact? Are we expected to just use Anna as a warrior and have her shoot radiant bows? Or are we expected to somehow figure out that Anna is much better in a magical class and just reclass her?
If we're expected not to know anything, then that stays in line with how the game is currently designed. However, I feel that there's a distinct possibility that Engage is sorta giving the player a wink and a nod like, "Oh I already know you check growth rates, so you'll know how to use this girl." If that's the case, why aren't we just told growth rates in-game anyways? Tradition?
It's hard to judge how exactly Anna fits into our conclusion of whether or not we're expected to know growth rates, given that we can't know what exactly the devs were thinking when they made the game and that infinite reclassing is a big shift in FE balance that we've only seen in recent years. However, I personally believe that Anna's existence in her current state hints that the player may be expected to know Anna's growth rates and thus how to best utilize her, adding to the confusion as to why growth rates are still hidden.
CASE STUDY 2: Cyril
Okay, this kid's existence is what made me want to add this little side discussion, because the implications of his growth rates are perplexing in terms of my original assumptions about what FE expects you to know. Full disclosure: I went into this of the opinion that modern FE games sorta expect players to know a character's growth rates, and thus keeping growth rates hidden was useless. But Cyril... turns that assumption on its head.
Cyril's personal skill is the aforementioned Aptitude, which increases his growth rates by a whole 20%. A pretty hefty bonus, all things considered. But the issue with Cyril is that his base growth rates without Aptitude are actually pretty bad. From a cursory glance over growths for every character, he has the worst combined offensive AND defensive growth rates, with only his dex and speed being average. Thus, Aptitude takes him from a pretty trashy unit to a unit that's just pretty good. Nothing spectacular, just good.
Now, I could talk a lot about my opinions on how Aptitude is treated as a skill (maybe a post for another day), but for now I want to focus on one aspect of the skill: it's APPEAL.
Like I just mentioned: Aptitude straight up tells the player that it increases the chance of gaining a stat by 20 whole percent. 20 percent! 1 in 5! PLUS what you already have! Just about anybody looking at this skill immediately recognizes its value, especially if they already have some experience with FE and DOUBLE especially if they used Donnel, a unit with an identical skill that has become popular for his meteoric growth on the battlefield.
But see, that's where Cyril gets you. Players (including myself) will immediately assume Cyril is a valuable growth unit and start training him up, unaware that all that Aptitude is really doing is turning a unit with poor growths into a unit with overall average growths that specializes in dex and speed. The reason I bring this all up is because Cyril's value immediately plummets once the player actually looks at his growth rates. So now there is a genuine question raised: did Fire Emblem try to TRICK people? Is Cyril programmed with the intention that players will assume he has higher growths than everyone else, unable to see the actual numbers behind the scenes? If this is the case, then it lends to the conclusion that growth rates are meant to be hidden, and that the player is never actually meant to see growth rates.
Maybe I'm overreacting here. Heck, I likely am. But this idea is just so wild to me!
Well, now that we've reached the very end of the post, thank you if you actually read through all of this! It ended up being a bit lengthy, but hey, I guess I just had a lot to say. Anyways, I really am curious what you all think about this issue. Do you think growth rates should be shown in-game to the player, or not? Do you think Fire Emblem designers kind of expect people to look at growth rates? It's an interesting question that I've been sitting on for a bit, and I want to see what the community thinks.
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2023.06.05 08:20 Impressive-Ad-6404 Crazy Idea revolving the deck of many things
The ruler of an area just dies, but in reality no one knows what happened because no saw how it happened, what if they pulled the Void card, since Wish is such high level spell it's hard to find the party if they want to save the ruler must find the ring of three wishes.
submitted by Impressive-Ad-6404
to DMAcademy [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:20 sh4ruru_ feeling conflicted
hello i'm 18F and i am about to enter my second year of college. I had this friend (let's call them kea) who i lost last year right after high school. I only found out that they were planning to cut me off when they suddenly blew up in our group chat one day. The reason for them doing that was said to be due to small issues with me that started snowballing as time passed leading them to not be able to bottle it in anymore. Since then we tried to fix the problem but after a difficult process in confrontation involving other people (kea made a group chat and included mutuals in it when it was just supposed to be in private) it ended up me being ghosted amidst the discussion. I was confused as they just stopped contributing in the confrontation they initiated. After this, I wasn't really sure if we were okay so I just watched over myself making sure that I don't set them off or annoy them when we would chat in the group chat online or when we would meet in real life. However, I started hearing from mutual friends of them continuing to constantly gossip and shit talk about me behind my back which affected my self esteem and mental health greatly.
I only told a couple of friends about my issue with kea as most of our mutuals are very close with them anyway. I was also afraid that if I opened up, everyone would side with them and turn on me. This went as far as affecting my dynamic with the group we were both in as I started avoiding everyone all together since I was scared of everyone eventually being against me. So when our first year of college started I just opted to stay away from the group and do my own thing as I did not want things to be awkward and conflicting with my presence.
What was weird was that this friend somehow reached some new friends i was making. There was an interaction that happened where a new college friend of mine got warned by a friend of kea that they shared a class with. The warning was about being friends with me and how my new friend should "be careful". This new friend also ended up meeting kea but was advised not to tell me. However, I still ended up knowing as my new friend told me everything and was concerned as kea's friend would keep on warning and asking questions about me. There were also times where I would make new friends and kea would end up somehow befriending them after a while. This lead me to losing some new friends I made by distancing myself as I was afraid of them eventually hating me.
What i also found weird was that they would be willing to text and reply to me in group chats and would be generally nice online as timed passed (they used to be passive aggressive towards me online). I also noticed that when we used to follow each other on instagram, they would be one of the first or if not the first person to see my posted stories which made me feel somehow watched(?). There was also a time where I was going through a bad situation at the start of the year and they even tried checking up on me in the group chat to see if I was okay. Although they would be like this online, when the group would meet in real life kea would not acknowledge my presence at all even when saying hi or bye which made me feel anxious and on edge most of the time.
I recently heard from another mutual friend of mine that kea wants to be civil with me again. I did not get this either as kea recently kicked me out of their social media accounts such as their multiple accounts on instagram. I still continued my distance from them in school but recently kea greeted me when we crossed paths which was confusing.
Currently, I hear that they plan to join a degree that I recently moved into. I have already told the group chat since before that I planned to join this specific degree so I am sure that they were aware of it. I also informed the group when I successfully joined it. Now that kea wants to join in this degree it's making me feel anxious as I still do not want to be in proximity with them as things are very much weird and not resolved. I feel pretty scared and conflicted as I do not know how I can handle the dynamics of this as my anxiety increases when they are around. Does anyone know ways to deal with this for my incoming year? I still want to have a great time in my new degree program and not have to worry about old unresolved high school drama:(
As much as I want to forgive and forget about what they did, I don't think I can as it really affected my mental health heavily which lead me into really negative phases during my first year of college in which I had to relearn to build my self esteem and battle the severe insecurity I experienced in the new friendships I made. I really just don't want to brush this under the rug but I also do not want to create more conflict. I guess I do want some closure or conclusion to what happened first before we start trying to be civil with one another. Any advice is appreciated and thank you for reading if you came this far🙏
submitted by sh4ruru_
to friendship [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:20 7he_1_Y0u_4G0t To your 29th spin on this earth 🌎
Hahaha Aaaahh! H'Haahuhaah!! Aaaahhhhg!
Hey, so get this.
I was surfacing the areas of the "broad-spectrum" upon the world' most recent pandemic, and do you know what I came to resurface? Dude!
A mothership of a stronghold that holds these key facts to life and about myself beyond fathomable doubt on how to - aquire, obtain, and endeavor. (AOE) Complete Forgiveness
Could it have been due to "Our" worst fears coming true?..! 🤔 > a simple repeat, perhaps!
(Or, not. idfk! ☺️) = [Until I hear it from YOU.] like Myself, having left a rude voice-mail sent to your mother, on my 30th spin on 🌎.
<(my dumbass immediately balled after you told me whose number that it was... who called me.)>
Of all the past feelings(felt) that had to go on, it was set in(to) a motion(less) fissure for present-mishaps that was to guide&lead us both back: to+get+her= "together."
~Forgive me, this is silly af!~
But! I had prayed on us to be" her
"biggest surprise in"
As for you, yourself. You were all i had needed/wanted for my 30th😁 😕 😞*
Folks are so obsessed with what God gave them (self, always included) that they literally "lose," their Minds over that given sense of that feeling.
The fires; powers were immense with no control beyond othe behind, and furthermore what your backside could appreciate another minds design for what some would call to be. . . INFINITE.
Let's break it down A! bit. < A.) < Infinite >< Tini-fine > is what I came to conclude with paying forward of my own waking intent as oppose to how most will not and tend to lose their own inner ability: For + Seeing = The Future that's unwinding; Is from us all bending time in/on a frame of thought by our (im)pulse.
I'd rather not waste what was previously mentioned above(your time) as for "It is, what it is." That's all I've been given for having what i hadn't rightfully taken seriously. And that's because it remains at a no comply (a skateboard trick; a cheap trick.)
I'll keep smiling for you from your most favored instance of being at a distance as you are my person and it's now become my soul mission.
HAPPY 29TH BIRTHDAY! 🎂 🥳 🎉
- Be as patient as you have been ok. Im seeking you out with what you labeled these eyes as for - has taken full affect. Did you know this whole time of what we were capable of being together?
(Sorry. Just know that. .. Nvm 🙂)
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2023.06.05 08:20 Czecanaia_1313 Old Dragon's Tale
Hello, this old comment is reposted as per requested by u/homu
, one of the good op who shared the Old Dragon's Tale, spin-off work by Mushoku Tensei by Rifujin na Maganote. It was originally posted here
. Check out for more infos. Please note that this contains spoilers from all the main novel, sequels and spin-offs. It's focused about Laplace, Orsted and Dragons Tribe. Enjoy! Finally, I've finished this. I was so invested in MT's main, sequels and spin-offs stories. Aside from The Last One to Leave the Nest, this Old Dragon's Tale is the only one made me feel really emotional and sad. I really feel sorry for Laplace. Being the only one who remains and remembers all the harsh truth from the past worlds makes my heart break. He's been fighting alone all in his remaining life to accomplish his mission for the sake of Dragon God, his comrades, the Dragon race, for the future and yet what he got in the end was his name being sullied, misunderstood and mistreated as the very source of evil. Don't get me wrong, I'm not justifying what Demon God Laplace did was right. It's just that the fate on him was so cruel since birth. I wish there's a sequel when he can gain some justice for every things and efforts his past self did. And I wish there's a chance where his name could at least be cleaned in the world or to some important people like Peruguis who loathed him so much.
Also I feel sorry for Rostelina, being the only one who knows the truth directly from Laplace himself, it's truly disheartening that her last solely wished was to be able to help her master Laplace and Orsted in the future, and yet it's not being fulfilled bcs she her memories got erased. She's been waiting all alone for thousand years and then forgotten until she was rescued. Ack it's really makes me really sad and cry.
I hope there some part of sequel (if there's any in the future) to have some scenes of:
-Reincarnated Laplace and Rostelina (>!Elinalise<!) or Saleyakt (if alive) to meet at some point in the future, then trigger each other to bring back some of their memories (or at least one of them). I just want them to have some little justice or some scene where they remember each other and not forgotten so that what they did or been waiting for the past thousand years would not be in vain.
-Or if possible, I hope Orsted (or Perugius or someone like Lara) will find the Laplace's old house at the peak Dragon's roar mountain where all his written records, books and journals about the truth from the past life in dragon world and the times where he lived with Rostelina in human world would be recovered. I hope they will find it and tell to Elinalise somewhere in the future.
-I also wanted to know what happen to the original Human God. I'm curious to see Hitogami's downfall. I know he's gonna be sealed in the void world for infinite years. But I wanted to know how Orsted got to the Void World and their confrontation.
There are some questions lingering and wondering in my mind after reading this that got me confused:
-Did Perugius know the truth about the origin of the Dragon race and what Hitogami did to all the worlds before? If he knew, then why is he still abhorred Laplace? He should help Orsted at least.
-If he doesn't know, then I understand why he's hostile with Demon God Laplace, but not on Technique God Laplace. He should, at least, know the truth and the history about it especially of what happened before the First Human-Demon war. Did he knew the mission or purpose of Laplace? Did he knew that Laplace was the Technique God? Did he also knew that Laplace was his Godfather and subordinate (and friends) with his mother?
-Who is Dragon God Urupen? (I maybe forgot some details from the main novel) Is he a descendant of one of the Dragon Generals? Or some warrior that just happened to be the one who saved baby Perugius and bring him to the human world?
-When I read the novel, I thought that Dragon General Maxwell and Chaos are existed in the time of Perugius when their name got spoken (then later died as he stated that they where gone only for dozens of years), but after reading this I happened to know that they were perished since Dragon world's rupture, so technically they were gone for thousands years ago. So my question is how the crest of Chaos engraved to autonomous doll (or the old notes) found from the basement of the Greyrat's house? Before I read this I was thinking that the owner of that house before was some kind of bigshot like Chaos (or Maxwell) bcs of how the house was built and designed then abandoned it until became haunted. I got this conclusion while Zanoba and Perugius talking about it. Or maybe I'm just exaggerating things and the owner of that house before was just some random curious man who happened to find some Chaos old works invent the autonomous doll.
-I wonder if Orsted knew that Laplace was his (adopted) older brother? Did they meet (in the past loops) when he was the Demon Dragon God form or when he was in Technique God? If in Technique God, did he tell what he remembers to Orsted?
-Where is the Technique God Laplace? On the novel, they stated that he was missing. So he was probably being sealed somewhere, but not dead, right? If he's alive, he's probably with Saleyakt (if he also still alive). I wonder if he meet Orsted. If he's dead, I'm wondering if the Technique God can also be reincarnated like his half Demon God self?
-Assuming that Orsted and Kishirika was in the same age (bcs they're the babies that time). So, did Orsted also existed the time of first human-demon war where Kishirika was one of the main proponent? Or Orsted only existed on the time of second human-demon war? His father, the Dragon God-sama stated that he will reincarnated his son ten thousand years in the future. The first war happened, iirc, 4200 ago. Then the second was only 400 ago. I'm so confused with the years he existed and how his loops working.
submitted by Czecanaia_1313
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2023.06.05 08:19 PrecursorNL Your experiences with Playlistpush
I'd love to know your experiences with Playlistpush but please include numbers.
- What amount of money did you pay?
- How many curators did you reach?
- How many placements did you get?
- What is the amount of streams you gained?
- What were your monthly listeners and followers before and after the campaign?
- What were the sizes of the playlist? (Smallest, biggest)
- Was this your best song?
- Would you do it again?
- Was it worth it?
submitted by PrecursorNL
to musicmarketing [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:19 throwaway559244 Sexually assaulted multiple people as a kid. Feel like my life's fucked up
I sexually assaulted multiple people as a kid I feel i've fucked up my life. Let me start off from my childhood When i was only a few years old maybe 5 or 6 i discovered porn on youtube, i discovered it too early. Consequently I got caught by someone then they told my mom, she got really mad and wanting me to stop watching it,she threatened to bring me to the police station for watching it. So as a kid i got more and more curious of it. I started developing abnormal sexual behaviors at a very young age. One time, I was hanging out with my grandma, now this grandma I still remember when we were young with my cousins until like the age of 7 or something, (I cant remember the age) but she would breast feed us. Now after i discovered porn, I started thinking breast feeding as something sexual. I remember being with my grandma and then suddenly asking her the things I learned from porn. Asking her if she could '' put her mouth on my private'', basically inappropriate questions and this was when i was very young! She became shocked and mad and told my mom about it. Throughout my childhood I would watch' 'kissing prank' 'videos on youtube.I also remembered playing ''Family'' with my cousins and having a crush on my girl cousin and roleplaying husband and wife. I would also sometimes try to look at girls breasts by intentionally standing close to them and trying to get a peak inside their cleavage and see if I can see inside. Another story of a shitty thing I did as a child: I remember once when i was at school, there was a girl and I dropped on the ground, flipped her dress and purposely saw her underwear. I also remember once when I was hanging out with one of my older cousin, I dont remember much when this happened but I think I was very young. Basically, I think we were in a room and he took out his penis and asked me to suck it and he would give me a lollipop. Being a child, I wanted the lollipop but was hesitant. Now, like i said i dont remember much but I think I agreed and I put my mouth on it for like a quick second and quickly went to the toilet to wash my mouth. Im not very sure of much that happened since i was very young but yea. I also remember this cousin, once he masturbated in his room and I was in there and he would show me pictures of naked woman in a biology textbook. Growing up, I did weird stuffs like smelling bras or underwears of my aunts. After discovering porn, after seeing videos of people sucking on boobs, after seeing it as sexualIy. I wanted to try to be breastfed again. This is the part that I regret the most, When i was around 10 or 11 years old, I was at a sleepover at my moms side grandma house (not the grandma I mentioned above) I remember multiple instances of me touching her breasts. The first time, her back was having pain so she told me to apply a heating pad on her back and when i was applying, I dont know why but I grabbed her breasts and sucked on it. She didnt said anything. Then when we went to sleep, I was sleeping next to her, I tried to lie by saying I was '' cold'' to get closer to her. Then i grabbed her breasts, sucked on it and slowly laying on top of her,I tried to take off her pants but luckily did not as she was wearing tight yoga pants . I think if she was not wearing the pants I would have done something I would regret for the rest of my life like raping her. (Im not sure if this counts as attempted rape as Im not sure what I was thinking when I tried to take off her pants) I would grab her breasts multiple time and she told me not to do that as someone would sue me if I did it.A few years after this happened, when I started realising how wrong it was, I tried to apologize to my grandma multiple times but she would always defend me by saying I was just a kid and I was curious but now im questioning myself maybe as I took advantage of situations and maybe I was not curious, I mean I knew what sex was because of porn, Im not sure if I understood consent though I dont really know what I knew back then but I did things without thinking. I Mentioned it to her a few times but she told me that it hurts for her to see me being like this and told me to stop thinking about it and told me to stop mentioning it again and not to tell anyone about it.
The next:I am unsure the age I was when these 3 instance of sexual assaults happen but maybe around the age of 10-12 Second time i commited sexual assault I was at school and I remember being in class and all the students gathered in a crowd. I remember a girl was in front of me and I started secretly thrusting my hip onto her butt. After a few years this happened, I confessed to her and she told me she did not know this happened and was glad I told her.
Third time, It was when me and a younger girl cousin was playing hide and seek and I remember us hiding under the bed. I was behind her and I remember feeling aroused fron it and taking advantage of the situation I told her to squeeze closer in. I dont think I touched her but I cant remember much of what happened.
Fourth time: This was when i was also young Im not sure of the age But basically One of my moms friends were teaching me how to do my homework She was guiding me and sitting beside me helping me hold the pencil. I remember I think she was not wearing a bra and my arms felt her nipples, taking advantage of the situation I kept on '' accidentally'' move my arms, rubbing her nipples.
Even though now I am in a good relationship with my grandma, the girl I assaulted and my cousins. I really feel immense regret for all these things that I did. Not a day goes by that I dont think about it, it really is killing me and I havent told much people about it except for some online friends. I really dont know what to do, I am 15 years old, cant seem to forgive myself. I also dont know if I will have a SO in the future and if they will be willing to accept me for my past. I've done lots of unimaginable shitty things when I was young and the guilt is just overwhelming. I am going overseas to study soon and honestly Im scared. I cant focus on school as Im always in the past. I know what I have told you guys doesnt sound real but all these really happen and I feel like no one understands me, I try to move on and be happy, but I think everyone will be shocked when they know what I've done in the past. And honestly I dont know if I am truly remorseful or maybe I am just selfish and just want to not feel guilty by confessing and looking for sympathy. Is it wrong if I want to feel happy again and get over the past. I really want to change, I wanna be normal again. But I cant, I've done these actions so that means Im gonna have to live with it. I dont know if Im a good person or a bad person. Even though everythings fine now in my life but I just cant seem to get over the past. I've develop OCD and stuff and I fear that I'll go crazy if I keep holding this in. So, this is my confession.
submitted by throwaway559244
to confessions [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:18 Infamous_Mood_472 My weird necro build (darkness + minion). How yall building yours?
I was messing around with skill tree for necro several times since the game came out a few days ago. (FYI I am a super casual player so I was simply having fun with the build) Below is a summary of how I ended up with Darkness + minion build.
Funkiness with bone cage: I initially went bone build for primary and secondary due to crit affinity, but everything else kinda fell apart when I faced astaroth at act 2 (just felt harder than it should've been with my build at the time.). The thing I think makes bone spear build particularly disappointing for me was how the bone cage works now compared to diablo 2. It didn't feel like the sklill synergized with how it was played before in d2. (large cage, can only create one at a time, doesn't work for bosses).
Funkiness with corpse explosion: Initially, I tried to incorporate corpse explosion as much as possible, but I realized that this one skill (or the nature of having corpses drop, and making me feel like I gotta use it somehow), was the thing that made my initial builds super restrictive. Like, if corpses as resources is such a central nature of the necromancer, I wish the skill tree was dynamic enough to adapt it to different passives and affinities. I ended up just not using corpse explosion at all, despite how counter-intuitive this path was.
Darkness + minion build: Going full synergy for darkness works quite well with aspects that increase the number of minions, and having an extra golem to tank/taunt. - I use the golem to occasionally make the stun+vulnerability status on the enemies. I think that having at least one skill that gives vulnerability state on enemy is crucial for d4. - 3 aspects. One increases damage of my warriors, while the other 2 increases the # of minions (+2 warrior, +3 mage): I have 6 warrior, 6 mage, 1 golem. - Ult has a cooldown I think its about 70 seconds - maxed out the path so that it also respawns ALL of my minions. Very useful for the current build when fighting bosses or elites. usually my minions don't completely die, but there are times they come close. - my core attack with scyth scales with number of minions (I think 2% damage increase?) so that's 26% - the downside with this build is that I still have to use warrior I have decrepify at level 1 + enhanced (was contemplating even that might not have been worth) - this is good because relatively cheap skill that I can spam on pve, and I needed this so it worked with terror passive (darkness) that does more dmg on slowed enemies (I don't think it matter what % of slow is applied, so I only put 1 point in that skill to proc passive).
The build has been working alright for me so far for pve and boss fights (only lvl 50 atm). I might swap to bone spear build and somehow find a good synergy path later down the road, or replace the use of golems with something else for darkness+ minion build (honestly, golem has been a G. tanky af).
One really annoying thing about this build was that sometimes I have to proactively manage the corpses so that my minions with low health get recycled before the shit hits the fan (wipe out). It feels like an unnecessary amount of APM to be on par with other builds' damage output etc.
submitted by Infamous_Mood_472
to diablo4 [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:18 Xthebest26 I’ve been getting better at editing and leaning how to use it how do you think of my Lucio short?
2023.06.05 08:18 marcopolo2345 Just grow taller
2023.06.05 08:17 TheShadowKick It's the End of the World as We Know It
[Trigger warning: suicide]
The following is a transcript of the final log recorded by commander Durlan Tralynn aboard the Orbital Research Station in the days during and immediately following the Last War. Commander Durlan was the astronaut in charge of the ORS when hostilities erupted. These logs have been preserved by the Museum of Pre-Federation History for their unique perspective on that devastating conflict.
Taegen and Elwin took the capsule down today. I refused to go with them. They begged and pleaded with me, but my mind is set. I refused the supplies they offered to leave. We all know staying behind is a death sentence. The capsule is the only way down to the surface, and nobody is coming back up for me. The world ended two months ago.
They think they saw signs of life in the xenith tree forests on the western continent. A fool’s hope. Even if someone is still moving around down there, they won’t last long. The air has gone toxic. But I didn’t try to disabuse them of the notion. Any hope, even a fool’s hope, must be better than this despair. I wished them luck and watched the capsule separate from the station. I could see Elwin looking back at me until the capsule drifted too far to make out any details.
As for me, I’m setting in the observation bay, looking down at what’s left of Arcadia. I’ve already adjusted the atmosphere scrubbers. It’s shocking how easy it was. Just a little tweak, barely noticeable unless you’re looking for it, and in a little while I’ll drift off to sleep. No pain, no fuss. Just an end. I wonder if I’ll dream. That would be nice. To sit here looking down, and dream of a world full of life that I’ll never see again.
The recording is quiet for a long while, except for the ever present whir of the station’s machinery. After some time commander Durlan speaks again.
I suppose I should say something of substance. For the historical record, if nothing else. Not that there’s anyone left to record it. But still, it feels like the right thing to do.
Like I said, the world ended two months ago. The bastards finally did it. I don’t know who fired the first megaspell, or what kind of incident escalated into war, I just know we were over the southern continent when it happened. It was night and the planet lit up with flashes.
The defenses on the continent worked. It was a brilliant strategy, I’ll say that for them. They knew they couldn’t compete with the larger powers, so instead of trying to stop everything cold with shields and anti-missile defenses, they played a subtler game. Misdirection and deflection. They sent the incoming megaspells sliding away into the sea, far from their major cities and industrial centers.
Taegen read the scans. Those defenses turned aside a full ninety percent of the incoming megaspells. But thousands got through. It must have been a devastating blow, but we didn’t really see the aftermath. Their military planners never considered the consequences of dumping tens of thousands of megaspells into the sea. The ocean boiled. Not much of it, but all around the coast of the southern continent. By the time we swung over it during the daytime, the entire continent was covered in steam. Their own defenses fried them. It took three days for the ocean to cool, and another four weeks for the clouds of steam to clear away.
I haven’t brought myself to look at the continent. Not through the optics anyway. My eyes can’t see any details from way out here, and I’m happy to keep it that way.
There follows a long pause, during which commander Durlan makes several attempts to start expressing his next thought, before he finally settles on his words.
We thought it would end there. Flash. Bang. World over. But it didn’t. The fighting went on for days. Taegen spotted a massive fleet battle in the Central Sea which only ended when a wave of megaspells vaporized both sides. He detected weapons fire around many of the major cities, too. Poor bastards fighting over ruins. There was still fighting around Essa Ennore. The city endured several megaspell hits, followed by two days of heavy fighting, before a dozen more megaspells wiped it off the map.
Taegen told me Soliana and Meira might have gotten out during the fighting. He was trying to comfort me, but I hope they didn’t. I hope they died in that first wave of megaspells, before they even knew what was happening. I hope they didn’t have to suffer through the hell we created.
Commander Durlan stops talking for a long while, but his heavy sobs are a constant reminder of his presence on the recording. Finally he speaks up again.
I can feel it now. Getting drowsy. Not much time left. It’s better this way, there’s no life left to live. No survival down there. I’ve seen the scans, the horrors of those megaspells. They weren’t all just explosions. The air has turned toxic, and some of those poisonous clouds have minds. They can think. They can chase down their prey, seep through sealed bunkers, scouring away survivors in choking agony. Half the eastern continent is covered in frost, the remnants of roving ice storm megaspells that sought out any source of heat and froze it solid. Even the dead had no peace, reanimated into mindless magical automatons to overwhelm any scattered survivors.
I’ll give us this, we were thorough. We left no stone unturned in our quest to wipe our entire world clean of life.
I don’t know if anyone will ever hear this recording. I don’t believe there’s anyone left on the planet below. At least, nobody who will survive beyond a few more terrified weeks. Arcadia is dead. But if there’s anyone else out there, some traveler from the stars that finds the ruins of our home, I want you to know something: we weren’t bad people.
We were greedy, and selfish, and shortsighted fools. But we weren’t monsters. We weren’t this senseless final act of destruction. There was joy and celebration and love here too. We’ve done a terrible thing, but it wasn’t because we were evil, spiteful creatures. Please, don’t judge us by our worst mistake. And please, I beg of you, don’t make the same mistakes we did.
I can barely keep my eyes open anymore. It’s not too late to grab one of the vacuum suits, fix the air scrubbers… no. It’s better this way. Better to die peacefully, than scrabble in futile defiance of the inevitable. Maybe I’ll see my Soliana again. And little Meira.
Commander Durlan is quiet for a moment before he starts softly singing a love song. The lyrics are about a young couple and the wonderful summer nights they spend together. He occasionally interrupts himself with wracking sobs, and his voice grows quieter and weaker until his words are little more than murmurs that eventually fade altogether. The recording continues for another five hours, silence broken only by the whir of the station’s machinery, until the tape runs out.
These logs were recovered in 370 BCY, 147 years after the Last War, by the team of historian Tarathiel Tralynn, great grandson of Meira Tralynn. Tarathiel placed a plaque inside the Orbital Research Station bearing his great great grandfather’s name and the lyrics of that final song. The station was carefully moved into a more stable orbit and marked as a historical monument. Commander Durlan’s remains were left as they were found, sitting in the station’s observation bay. There he sits for the rest of eternity, staring down at a world full of life that he had only dreamed to see again.
submitted by TheShadowKick
to createthisworld [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:17 chadwicke619 How to use pinch weld adapters
Hey all! I recently picked up these aluminum jack stands: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0007XTGCI?psc=1&ref=ppx_pop_mob_b_asin_title
I also picked up these adapters: https://www.amazon.com/DEDC-Universal-Slotted-Adapter-Protectodp/B081JRFFJ3
Now, the adapters fit decently, but not perfectly. If you put it on so the weld groove sits properly in the saddle, the adapter slides left and right pretty freely. If you put the adapter on the other way, it kind of snaps on and fits tightly, but then the pinch weld sits across the top of the saddle shelf, if that makes sense, rather that sitting inside it. I was just wondering if it makes any difference?
This pictures shows what I mean: https://www.amazon.com/portal/customer-reviews/mobile-media-feed/B081JRFFJ3/ref=cm_cr_dp_mb_crsl_img_0?ie=UTF8&physicalId=71QUQef7HXL&imageExtension=jpg&reviewId=R3UCTBMNG1ODPH
In the above picture, the adapter fits tightly, but again, as you can see, the pinch weld then sits on top of the raised sides, rather then in between them.
Anyways, yeah, just wondering if it matters how I use the adapters, or if I should even use them at all. Thanks!
submitted by chadwicke619
to MechanicAdvice [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:17 LordDurand Just found out my ex moved in with the guy she had a huge crush on
I want to close my eyes and, in an instant, be free of all feeling and never have to open them again.
She broke up with me at the beginning of the year. We had a long talk, and we both cried, but in the end she still left. A lot of things were said, and I don't know if she meant for them to be hurtful or not. She said I wasn't enough, that she needed someone who was masculine and dominant. But you knew what I was when you met me, didn't you? I get confused for a girl about 70% of the time, you knew that, right? And I always told you, from the very beginning, that I liked being the little spoon. That I wanted to be soft, to not have to live up to any of society's expectations of men, that I just wanted to feel safe and secure and protected with someone. That I wanted to feel like I, just by myself, with all my imperfections, with all the feminine parts of me that everyone is repulsed by, with everything I've always felt wasn't what a man should look like-- that I was still enough for someone. You knew all that. Why'd you stay for as long as you did if you hated all of it?
When we were dating, she told me she had a big crush on one of her guy-friends. I was always insecure about it because he was a lot more conventionally attractive, always had girls hitting on him, and was always single. But she assured me that she wasn't interested in him anymore. I guess I never could fully believe it.
Today I opened Venmo to transfer some money, and I saw that he'd been paying rent to her landlord, and that he was also sending her money for the wifi bill. I don't know for sure how long they've been living together now, at least a month. It's her life, she can do whatever she wants and be with whoever she wants, and I've tried to come to terms with that. But it just feels so unfair. That she gets to just move on like that and have someone else with her. And I'm still here, on my own, same as I've always been.
I've been trying to work on myself. I started doing Jiu-Jitsu to complement my kickboxing training, I started learning guitar and practicing every day, I picked up reading again, I got my motorcycle license, I got promoted. I feel like in just a few months, I've come so far. But I'm still stuck. Swiping on dating apps, getting maybe one match maybe every few months if I'm lucky, that usually turns up to be nothing. There was one girl I went on a few dates on, but she ghosted me.
And I just don't know what to do. My entire life, I've just wanted someone to feel at home with. Someone I can always go to, someone I can be totally, completely myself with, without having to put on any kind of face, without having to put on any kind of armor to face the harshness of the world. I don't want any of what I've done. I don't want to feel like I have to learn to fight, or to pick up random skills or hobbies, or ride on a dangerous two-wheeled machine, or have the position I do. I just want to be with someone. I want to love and to be loved, and that's it, that's always been it.
It's my birthday today. I'm 24 now. 24 more years than I needed or wanted. I remember all the times I was at a firing range with a gun in my hands, thinking about how in a single flash, I could be done with it all. And I regret that I'm still here. It feels like nothing will ever get better. It's like I'm trapped in an old shack in the midst of a harsh, never-ending blizzard. I can decorate the inside as much as I like, make it all pretty and inviting. But nobody's ever going to show up. In the end, it's still an old shack; the snowstorm outside is one that knows no lifting, and things will always be like this.
I have tried all that I can think of. This broke me completely. I don't know how I can keep going on like this. Every morning, I wake up and have nothing to be excited about. I can't imagine a girl ever being excited about me, wanting to talk to me and get to know me in every way she can.
I'm 24 now, but I still feel like the same stupid kid I was in high school. I still fall asleep in the same empty bed, staring at the same sparse ceiling with the fan I'm afraid to turn on because of how much it shakes and threatens to fall right off. And then all the same insecurities come flooding back, everything I thought I moved past. Where I once thought I'm okay being mistaken as a girl, that it's cool how androgynous I am, I realize how much it sets me back, how hard it is to find someone attracted to me. I come to resent my face, my eyes, my height, my hair, my body, my voice. Everything everyone else can perceive feels like a reason for them to steer clear, or just treat me like a little brother even if I'm years older than them.
When I was in middle school, where there was this clique of the popular boys, the cool jocks or whatever, I always wished I was one of them. Not in the sense of wishing I could be in that crowd, but that I was literally living in the body of one of them. I'd sing stupid mournful songs about it in the shower, I'd think about it as I fell asleep.
And today, it's not that different. Every night I go to bed, wishing I could wake up in a different body. Being rebellious, or an iconoclast, or something contrary to society's standards is a cool thing to talk about. Until it's forced upon you, until you can't match what society wants no matter how hard you try, until you can't fit in and you can't attract people to you.
When I was going to therapy, my therapist said something along the lines of how I'm more interesting than the typical "Abercrombie and Fitch white guy," and it was funny and made me feel a little better at the time. But I think I'd rather just conform. I'd rather just be conventionally attractive and fit right in and have my pick of whoever I wanted than be unique.
What's the point of having a unique life experience if there's no one to share it with?
I feel like I'm at the end of my line.
submitted by LordDurand
to lonely [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:17 Hip2DaHops People who have learned about a half brother/sister from their parents that they never knew about. How did you react?
submitted by Hip2DaHops to AskReddit [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:17 superidolnico Finished Thimbleweed Park, not sure I actually liked it.
That was a game I wanted to finish for a long time and recently I got the chance to play and I just finished it.
The game is cool, characters are nice and it reminded me a lot of classics LucasArts games, but at some points I found myself really lost and the HintTron wasn't much of a help... like, I know the puzzles are supposed to be hard and difficult, even in casual mode, but at times the game gives no clue about what you should do or how to proceed, it's like you should find the next task on your own.
AND the story. That was a major letdown. The game constantly breaks the 4th wall which is fine to me, but to make that its whole purpose and ending just felt lazy. Like we spend hours connecting to the story and the characters' arcs and motivations to follow through, and that's what we get. I was expecting some big revelation. We don't even get to know who the murderer is, although I think it was the Sheriff/CoroneHotel Manager. There was a brief moment where Agent Reyes gets kidnapped by them, and when Ray goes to the town hall I found the Coroner kind of spying from the archway of his office? Did anyone who played the game caught that moment too?
Anyways if anyone's got any recommendations of similar games please let me know. I'm currently playing Darkside Detective.
submitted by superidolnico
to adventuregames [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:17 ms_mccartey94 How did j and j get they own tlc contract
How and why did j $ j did they own tlc contract?
submitted by ms_mccartey94
to DuggarsSnark [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:17 BRACE-IV-IMPACT An Example from Fiction – Star Wars Bad Batch.
TL;DR: I examin how the Star Wars villain, Darth Sidious, utilized a Cat's Paw and then once discovered, turns a wouldbe setback into a major victory. In doing, appearing confident and in control.
First, a brief preamble – Albert Camus once wrote "Fiction is the lie through which we tell the truth." To the spirit of that quote, much of my analysis into power comes from good fiction. These patterns and themes I've seen in history, reflected again and again, regardless of setting or wider context. In these analysis, I hope to present these present these themes. To some, these may appear elementary. To those, I say congratulations. To others, this may still prove a some benefit.
Today, let's discuss a speech by the pan-ultimate Star Wars villain – Emperor Palpatine, otherwise known as Darth Sidious.
LAW 26: Keep Your Hands Clean.
Observance – Darth Sidious, now Emperor of a burgeoning new empire has ended the Clone Wars, all but eradicated his enemy, the jedi, and now must eliminate the clones. But how? He spent years undermining the Jedi, sowing resentment and doubt. The Separatist too, by Lord Vader's hand have been crushed. The clones however, they're looked on as capable and loyal soldiers faithful to... the republic. Hm... yes, the do need to go. So how to deal with them?
First, the Emperor had to bring the cloning facilities under the control of the galactic empire. In the era of the Galactic Republic, these facilities were operated by the Kaminoins, who sold the clones to the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR) for credits. So, through Grand Moff Wilim Tarkin, Darth Sidious ordered Admiral Rampart to evacuate clones and essential personnel (who could be of later use). Then destroy Tipoca city and the cloning facilities therein.
Vice Admiral Rampart, was a loyal officer to the Empire. He was eager to show his loyalty and was often the Hatchet man for their agenda. Prior to the destruction of Tipoca city, he was tasked with the subjugation of Ryloth – a planet still skeptical about the Empire.
He was also an initial proponent for the "Imperial Defense Recruitment Bill," stating "The galaxy is at peace, but our work is never done. A new military comprised of our own citizens, will usher in a new era of safety and security. A vote for the Defense Recruitment Bill is a vote for the future."
The bill was rejected twice before reaching the stage of preliminary hearings, where it faced critique from Senators Bail Organa of Alderaan and Tynnra Pamlo of Taris due to them believing the discussion for a new army to be unnecessary at the time, as well as Riyo Chuchi of Pantora, who called for more fair representation for the clones who would be directly impacted by the bill. The vote was eventually postponed.
Later, Senator Riyo Chuchi, with help from a resistance group, obtained evidence of Vice Admiral Rampart's involvement in the destruction of Tipoca city, presenting her findings before the Senate Floor.
Theme Squeeze Opportunities Out of Desaster. It will make you appear more capable and in control.
The Emperor quickly thought of a way to spin this would be disaster to his advantage. In the middle of their debate, The Emperor, would hold and impromptu address. (LAW 17: Keep Others in Suspended Terror. // LAW 28: Enter Action With Boldness).
"I am deeply troubled by this recent revelation.
My gratitude to Senator Chuchi for exposing a rogue element within our ranks.
Many lives have been lost, but I assure you, Admiral Rampart will face the consequences for his treachery.
However, he did not act alone. The fact that the clones under his command so blindly followed orders, inflicting such carnage without hesitation ... gives me pause.
Perhaps, it's time for a change. Now, more than ever, building a strong galaxy requires protection and security.
Due to the nefarious actions of Admiral Rampart and the immediacy of the bill on the floor today – it is my opinion that this legislation is our future.
With this momentous act, we shall usher in a new era, heralded by the Imperial Stormtrooper."
Now, let's break apart this speach.
First, he creates distance from the atrocities committed. "I am troubled by this recent Revelation."
Second, he tries to build bridges between opposition by praising a Senator opposed to the bill he supports.
Third, he decries the actions of Vice Admiral Rampart.
Forth, now here's where it gets good. The Emperor, further decrying Rampart, then twists the blame onto the clones. While Republic propaganda claimed that the clones were soldiers loyal to the Republic, they were in practice, loyal to their Generals and the Jedi, (whom the galaxy had recently seen destroyed by their hand). There was a large controversy regarding subjugation and rights abuses carried out by the clones throughout the war. This lead to the average citizen seeing them as a useful "other." Following the end of the war, Vice Admiral Rampart remarked that "Clone loyalty does not seem to be as advertised anymore." Now the Emperor was going to drive home that wedge of fear felt by the Galactic citizenry.
Now, he introduced the call to action. Having the galaxy fear the "other" that are the clones, yet further enforce the calls for protection and security, he let's the audience infer who better to protect the galaxy, then by the citizens thereof?
So there we have it, how the Emperor has turned a minor loss into an absolute victory.
Are there points I neglected? Is my analysis off base? Please, respectufully discuss your thoughts in comments. Thank you!
submitted by BRACE-IV-IMPACT
to The48LawsOfPower [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:17 Lebelladone Tw: weird behaviour
Ok i need to vent My dad makes me extremely uncomfortable. (English is not my first language I did my best to be understandable)
He always makes s*xual jokes around me.
My dad was very often telling me his sexual intercourse since a very young age (and it was always very gross and detailed).Always as a joke tho so I never took it seriously. but as I grew up I became more and more uncomfortable with him, because I was becoming an adult that had a feminine develop body.
When we are hanging together he always looked at women in a weird way he once said : “my eyes are the only part of my body that doesn’t age, my mind is still young” after I reproached him that I was founding it weird that he was looking at a young adult around us. (I was a young teenager around that time)
I often tell him to stop his comments like this but he takes it as a joke. Always.
Fun fact my dad is a police officer
When I was a child he used to talk to me so much about pedophiles because he was scared for me so he talked about them constantly. He said it was because of his job because he was seeing them everyday. To the point I was scared of every man. He said he knew how mans were thinking because he was one… so it was only prevention.
When I was a child my father had several girlfriends and told me every relationship details. He was cheating on them and I had to keep the secrets. He would make girlfriends everywhere... ex: we always went to lunch together at the same restaurant…well he ended up going out with the waitress who was serving us. It was like that everywhere. Like my school teachers, my school supervisor, the waitresses at the restaurants we went to & the mothers of my friends. Everywhere was un opportunity.
My father likes women with long curly brown hair, dark eyes and a little curvy, short petite stature. Which is literally what I look like!!!! (Yes this is traumatizing) (probably why I did cut my hair when I had the right to… I don’t know)
But I got to a point where I don't know what to do anymore, every time I see my father I layer my clothes to cover my curves and I don't wear makeup. I don't see him often and he blames me a lot.
My father has already commented on my appearance many times. He one time told me that he thought it absurd that I did not shave my legs as a woman and that he could pay for the laser removal and that he understood that I was lazy about it (which I wasn’t). I told him it was my personal choice. And then he asked me if I shaved my pubs because i probably didn’t satisfied my boyfriend at the time because men don’t like that (i was 16).
When I’ve cut my hair for the first time very short he told me that I was prettier before. (As a kid I was obliged to have long hair because it was the most beautiful thing about me for my parents)
I could go on for hours about all the explicit things he told me as a child.
I on the other hand can’t talk to him about anything remotely sexual like I can’t say the word v*gina in a social normal context, because it makes him uncomfortable.
But what breaks me the most emotionally, is that recently he told me that he was giving me less hugs since my breasts had grown because it made him feel uncomfortable.
I haven't spoken to my mother since I was 17 because she ab*sed me psychologically. I moved in with my father at 17 for 1 year only. Afterwards I went to an apartment for school that my father paid me because he preferred that we each had our own space. We always got along well on the surface but let's say that I avoid a lot of things .My father neglected me a lot as a child, but he always supported me monetarily and he still does. I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years that he pays, he on the other hand really doesn't want to consult. I got to a point that I don't know what to do. I love my father very much but I am also afraid of him. I talk about feminist stuff around him but he doesn’t really listen.
Im now 20 years old and he’s my only parent he pays most of my stuff and I love him but im very uncomfortable around him and I don’t know what to do.
submitted by Lebelladone
to daddyissuesclub [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:17 Snaggleswaggle Are Tobacco Plants meant to be Like this? Can I dig them deeper?
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Soooo Ive been doing everything by the book but Tbh the books available havent exactly been helpful. It's Not that easy to find information in how to properly grow Tobacco from a seed into a plant. submitted by Snaggleswaggle to gardening [link] [comments]
Anyways, Tobacco needs light to start germinate, so I Had one seed sitting in the top and waited paitently. Now the little seedling ist about 15 cm, and keeps growing but the stem ist soooo skinny I am afraid of breaking it Off.
My friend doesnt know anything about Tobacco, but she knows about Plants and told me, that If I we're to gill the Cup Up to the top (in an effort to bury the stem at the bottom to make the plant more stabile), it would die.
Help? Can I Not Just fill the Cup Up with more soil to stabalize it? Or does it Just Take time for the stem at the veeeery bottom to thicken.
2023.06.05 08:17 shmooieshmoo One of the weirdest movies I’ve ever watched. How did you feel about it?
2023.06.05 08:16 milffan112 Someone remind me how to get herta bond?
Looking at SU pt rewards you seem to get one a week but the game is only 5 weeks old and i have bought 2 of the lightcones?
How did I afford that?
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2023.06.05 08:16 Audi_Enjoyer what a weird situation I’m in
I was texting my ex a few minutes ago and… idk it feels weird, she acts as if everything we did was no big deal, she talks like how we used to when we were friends.
It’s just even more proof that she’s basically already moved on, and i mean I’m not surprised, the reason we broke up was because she wasn’t feeling in love with me anymore, but still.. it kinda hurts how causally she talks to me, as if she doesn’t feel the immense dread and increased heartbeat that I feel whenever I talk to her
Maybe I’m just crazy, maybe it’s my fault for not moving on fast enough, I mean it’s been 2 months and it’s about to be 3 in a few weeks, so
submitted by Audi_Enjoyer
to teenagers [link] [comments]