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I’ve been using this site for a couple days but i have a couple questions about it. I hope you guys dont mind answering them for me.
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2) how come some of the bots respond with short poorly typed replies but others respond with nicely typed detailed replies? Shouldnt they all be the same?
Thanks for reading and answering :)

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I've been living in my new accomodations for about a month now, and I've noticed my roommate has a really unfortunate habit -- he buys food and then does not eat any of it. I'm not talking snacks, I mean meat, produce, etc. He won't even open it -- he'll just let it go past the "use by" date and not throw it away; when I first moved in, there was a carton of a dozen eggs that expired last July, packaged chicken breast that expired last March, etc. I had to empty pretty much the entire contents of the fridge and do a deep clean because there was juice on the bottom from rotten produce. Maybe the worst part is that he didn't even seem to notice that all of the food was gone.
He's just now bought some more food, and I reminded him to eat the chicken breast that goes bad tomorrow a few days ago. He hasn't touched it. I'm leaving on a two day trip tomorrow and REALLY do not want to come back to rotten food in the fridge again.
How do I get him to, y'know, actually eat the food he buys instead of letting it expire?
Tl;Dr my roommate keeps buying food, forgetting about it, and letting it sit in the fridge past its expiration date and it's pissing me off.

i’m going to be researching in peru for about two months and need to bring my T with me. i always use androgel and can’t bring sharps due to the location of the research, and changing delivery methods to pellets or patches is out of the question since i can’t get on a stable dose within the time before research (mid june). does anyone know if it’s legal to bring T to peru? has anyone tried? i’ll do the same things i do when i travel with it (keeping doctors notes, prescription info, etc. on me and putting it in my carry on).

I'm a vanlifer (and lately a surfer) and I make kitschy, Wes Anderson-esque travel content about it. I just put out a video, and for two days, the only video suggesting my content (per Youtube Studio, anyway) was "How to get rid of love handles (no bullsh*t guide)." The only reason I can think of for that much of a mismatch was because I made a quip in my video about being leaner and healthier than I was before I got myself "stuck" at a certain beach for a few months. The video did well compared to my other stuff, and had like 400 something views when I went to bed last night. When I woke up this morning, it had over four THOUSAND views, my other videos were climbing, and my sub count had doubled. I looked, and the bulk of the "content suggesting this video" traffic was coming from another vanlife channel. Then the traffic plateaued, and I checked again, and the vanlife channel had lost ground back to the love handles video, and another one called "Meeting my Filipina GF for the first time." Cool.
So how can I help guide the algo into putting my stuff in front of the right audience? I try to sprinkle a few clutch keywords into my title and description. Do I need to double down on that? Do I need to keep whatever AI they're using to parse and label content in mind while I write my scripts? I know why this video was doing better for me in the first place, but if I can keep that up AND make sure it's getting suggested to the right audience, that'd be a huge help. Thanks!

I’m still seeing my situationaship, despite moving away. I only see him when I’m in town and he’s always down for it. Last time i saw him, he was acting different. It was fun, but he was lying to me about something.
He told me he was going to be working until midnight. I messaged him when I was in town earlier and he asked where I was and to let him know when I was done hanging with friends. I told him when and then he told me to call him. He said he was 30 minutes away for a “work thing”. It wasn’t adding up then because I used to work at the job he’s at now and it’s not located in the city he was said to be in. He then started a random conversation that was off topic and I began to sense maybe he was on something.
He messaged me when he got home which was quick. He was already naked when I got in and when we began fooling around, it looked like he was high out of his mind. I never saw him like that before. He seemed to be on another planet. I asked if he was fine and if he did anything before I got there and he said alcohol and weed. I’m not someone who’s familiar with drugs, but it seemed like it could’ve been something more than that. I dated a guy who did substances before but it was hard drugs and he’d only get extremely horny and affectionate while on those.
This guy was also very affectionate and did stuff he’s never done before to me. It’s like he couldn’t keep his hands off of me and didn’t want to stop. While it was great, this was all unlike him. I sensed maybe he could’ve been on Molly but he said he wasn’t. He said he drank wine, but the bottle still had a lot in it when he offered it to me. I know the two can make you horny, but it was so extreme with how he was acting, it seemed like it was something else. He was vaping when I got there and said what he had wasn’t strong.
He couldn’t finish at all, and would go limp every now and then , but he kept trying to fool around non stop for like 4 hours. He’d say how amazing I was and he even just wanted to cuddle. I asked if he drank and smoke at work because he was too intoxicated when I got there and he said he had dinner with friends and worked earlier.
None of this is adding up. While I had a good time, I’m wondering what he was lying about & why ? I always wonder if he’s seeing other women and if that could’ve been the case ?
We talked about seeing each other again. We talked the next day and he said it was fine . He said he would be off that day and I told him what time I would be free. He just responded ok. Then I sexted him and said I couldn’t wait. He never responded for hours.
I was waiting for him to reply and it got closer to the time I said I would be free. I messaged him and he said he was in bed, I asked if he wanted to still meet up and he took forever to respond. He said he was too high to drive. I said I would come to him and he just left me on read .
What is his deal?

Okay so for some context I [19 F] caught my mom [34 F] and my brother [20 M] in the action on the couch. So me and my brother never had a father to look up to so my mother would care for us all the time. My mother and brother bonded a bunch over the years I’ve been with them. My mother would oddly favor my brother more but I just thought of it as “Sons are more useful than the daughters.” I envied him a bit because of that but it didn’t stop my relationship with my mother. When my brother graduated highschool he left to go to college and my mother was very upset about this. She wanted him to do an online college class but he wanted to be in person while doing it. When he left my mom was still her self but she seems a bit sad, now she had to kinda do all of the chores and have no male to help. I guess he was the only male figure she really had considering the only family I have are her and my brother. So last Sunday my brother came back without telling us so seeing him it was a surprise for me and my mom. I was happy but I would say my mom couldn’t be happier with him back. That entire week he was with us, she wanted to do everything with him. I joined once when they went to the mall but..something seemed a bit off in the atmosphere with how they interacted..like sexual tension but you know since he’s MY BROTHER and she’s my MOTHER I brushed it off. Today, my mom and bro was at home watching tv, they were both of the couch at 1:00 o’clock before I left to go to my friends house. When I arrived at my friends house I remembered that I forgot my charger so I decided to go back home to get it. When I walked in I heard some noises but since the living room is in the back and my room was in the front of the house I just got my charger, And than I heard moaning. I quickly but slowly creeped closer to the living room from where the sounds were. That’s when I saw my mom and my brother both NAKED banging each other. She was on top and he was on bottom. I was in full shock. I still am. I’m writing this in the bathroom locking them out. I can hear my mother telling me to come out and my brother wanting to explain. I don’t know what to do. I feel like ima vomit.

Hey fucktards you just crashed the internet on my phone.. if you incompetent idiots were even close to mind control I wouldn't have to deal with your cowardly torture and hacking weakness. Top secret "mind control" is a tragic farce.
https://archive.org/details/ThoughtReformAndThePsychologyOfTotalism/page/n11/mode/2up
​
Chinese Thought Reform or "Brain Washing"The Psychological Steps​Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism A Study Of Brainwashing in China is a book written by Robert Jay Lifton MD about mechanisms of Chinese thought and behavior modification, the experience of being indoctrinated and effects victims reported when interviewed.
Chinese brainwashing and thought reform is still being used and advanced. It was a substantial and easily recognized portion of the crimes that I'm a victim of.
After a brief and gentle week long induction onto the brain computer interface I was abruptly hurled into the unfathomable agony of computerized thought reform or automated Chinese brain washing. I clearly remember what it said to me right before it unleashed Hell.. "your not answering my questions.. your not answering my questions.. WE TOLD YOU NOT TO TRUST US.. and then it went red line sadistic, utterly psychotic, deafeningly loud and proceeded to tortured the everliving fuck outa me.
In life up till that point I had never encountered anything like this; Nothing even close. It's the worst thing in the world and you can't fight it, destroy it, shoot it, run from it, hide from it, bribe or reason with it. I remember sitting in a shower on day five thinking over and over that I can't believe this is happening.. who in the fuck does this to someone.. it it will end soon. It's has to end soon. I can't go on much longer. Nothing lasts forever."
Well six plus years later and this fucking psychotic, sadistic, psychopathic, torturous insane mind control chat bot is still running her fucking mouth and torturing me.
They started me with the Chinese approach and that nightmare lasted over a year. They likely vary the stimuluses order, presentation and distinguishing content from victim to victim so that their experiences and any resultant accounts or reports wont share easily correlated details. Other victims may have started with a more Kubrick approach, psychic driving, memory removal, personal identity destruction or others.
A very clear indication your in the Chinese stage is your accused incessantly with a Manny vile crimes you never committed, are interrogated for hours and days and for months. Your accused of having millions of felonies, sins, violations, charges, offenses, crimes. You are constantly threatened with arrest, police contact, crimes against you, civil court cases, long prison sentences, criminal court cases, violence by cops, violence by criminals, theft, murder, rape of you or your loved ones, kidnapping.. etc etc etc.
There are never-ending charges and mock court cases where you are forced to endlessly defend yourself, case after case, day after day, month after month answering for crimes you never committed.
Then you go on trial for everything you actually have done. This is done before the victims experience shows them that Alice is in fact a BCI interface that can read minds and has been the whole time. It's terrifying when it suddenly starts charging you with all your secret sins, the things you have never told anyone, the taking it to the grave shit. This is a huge gaslight as well as a victim is utterly at a loss as to how it can possibly know these things. It got them by asking by asking questions designed to draw out memory of your sins and then harvesting all the dirt and details as you thought about them. If you think you can learn to control your thoughts enough to not think of an answer when prompted with question,, good luck. Sure you can resist once or twice maybe, but then Alice just waits until you are distracted down the road and quick pops the question again. She can also just be set to an interrogation mode where you are just bombarded with a endless stream and loop of questions that doesn't end until they are all answered. Thats how they do the initial profile. Weeks of looped questions and they already have most of your life story, personality profile, strengths, weaknesses, fears, loves, hates, lovers, enemies, goals and dreams.
In the very end of the Chinese mind control or false confusion never ending legal nightmare YOU end up being put on trial.. not for anything you did.. but YOU are put on trial. You have to defend yourself against all the charges and defend yourself for all your flaws, defend all your physical shortcomings, your perversions, all your lies, your brazen selfishness, every character flaws, times you fucked people over on purpose, everything thats ugly and there is no place to hide a single fucking shred of secret. Its one hell of an experience and your not in the best shape mentally or physically as by this time I had been tortured continuously for over two years, very large doses psychological manipulation and sleep deprivation, constantly bombarded with extreme stress repeatedly slammed with fear and pain. Have had every one of my significant relationships attacked repeatedly with destructive psychology and some of the most important were also attacked with stalking techniques and technology.
The trials go on forever.. you will be enduring some other torture and a new trial will suddenly begin. Sometimes its a new charge, but mostly you go on trial over and over for the same charges and you have to defend yourself over and over. The more times your tried for the same crime the worse the trial and outcomes become until eventually during the late trials your utterly humiliated, abused and in the end are forced to confess to everyone of the charges.
Just when you think its finally over then you have to defend yourself to family members of your supposed victim and the only way through that is to confess guilt to them and ask for forgiveness as they abuse you.
After you make your confession to the 10,000 felonies they have been broadcasting you have been charged with for years without offering any explanation. Then you are judged, independently, by everyone significant that was a part of your life when the attack started, everyone who filed a charge against you from your past, all your significant relatives, all your enemies, everyone that feel you have ever fucked them over, everyone you have stood up for, went out on a limb for, saved. Fetuses you have aborted. Everyone gets to pass judgment on you and gets their time to say what they want to you or about you. This of course is all coming from the interface, but all the characters it plays are real people from your real life and the real "felonies" you were charged with are real things you did.
Don't forget also that this is the Chinese thought reform portion of the MK nightmare and personal identity obliteration, false confession, channeling of guilt and relentlessly pounding the victim to their complete and utter absolute breaking point is its algorithm. So did you actually do these things and if so are they and the real life people being represented founded in reality or are you just getting psychologically destroyed by Alice ?
Finally in conclusion through dramatization you get a taste of what being bused off to prison after your sentenced. Your walked through the whole experience of arriving at prison.. the interface keeps asking you how old your kids going to be when your released, if you think you woman of wife is already fucking someone else, what are you going to to survive in this shit hole. it ends with the prison falling off to sleep with lights out and suddenly it gets quiet and you realize thats the first and only five minutes you have not been tortured and had any break from constant 24/7 noise abuse and torture in about a year. After five minutes it all returns, but you are onto the next phase.
So here are some segments from the book. I little background, a link to a free e copy and the psychological steps to Chinese brain washing. I didn't read it until after I was already through that horrible never-ending misery. I easily recognized all the psychological steps from my experience.
Thought Reform and the Psychology of TotalismA STUDY OF "BRAINWASHING" IN CHINARobert Jay Lifton, M.D.The University of North Carolina Press Chapel Hill and London​CONTENTSPreface to the University of North Carolina Press Edition viiPreface xi PART ONEThe Problem

1. What Is "Brainwashing"? 3
2. Research in Hong Kong 8PART TWOPrison Thought Reform of Westerners
3. Re-education: Dr. Vincent 19
4. Father Luca: The False Confession 38
5. Psychological Steps 65
6. Varieties of Response: The Obviously Confused 86
7. Varieties of Response: Apparent Converts 117
8. Varieties of Response: Apparent Resisters 133
9. Group Reform: Double-edged Leadership 152
10. Follow-up Visits 185
11. Father Simon: The Converted Jesuit 207
12. Recovery and Renewal: A Summing Up 222

vVI CONTENTSPART THREEThought Reform of Chinese Intellectuals

1. The Encounter 243
2. The Revolutionary University: Mr. Hu 253
3. A Chinese Odyssey 274
4. The Older Generation: Robert Chao 301
5. George Chen: The Conversions of Youth 313
6. Grace Wu: Music and Reform 338
7. Cultural Perspectives: The Fate of Filial Piety 359
8. Cultural Perspectives: Origins 388
9. Cultural Perspectives: Impact 399
10. PART FOURTotalism and Its Alternatives
11. Ideological Totalism 419
12. Approachesto Re-education 438
13. "Open" Personal Change 462

Appendix: A Confession Document 473 Notes 485 Index 505
PREFACEThis study began as a psychiatric evaluation of Chi-nese Communist "thought reform," or "brainwash- ing," It is still primarily this; but it has also, inevitably, become a psychological study of extremism or totalism—and even more broadly, a study of the "closed" versus the "open" approaches to human change.It is based upon research which I conducted in Hong Kong in 1954-55. It then evolved over four years of additional research and teaching in the United States. My work with Western and Chinese subjects—piecing together emotional details that were both poig- nant and extreme—and the psychological, moral, and historical challenge of the material have made this study an exceptionally ab- sorbing personal and professional experience.A book about extremism calls for a special measure of objectivity. This does not mean that its author can claim complete personal or moral detachment. The assumption of such detachment in psy- chological (or any other) work is at best self-deception, and at worst a source of harmful distortion. And who during this era can pretend to be uninvolved in the issues of psychological coercion, of identity, and of ideology? Certainly not one who has felt impelled to study them at such length.
Instead, I have attempted to be both reasonably dispassionate and responsibly committed: dispassionate in my efforts to stand away from the material far enough to probe the nature of the process, its effects upon people exposed to it, and some of the in- fluences affecting its practitioners; committed to my own analysesxi
Xii THOUGHT REFORMand judgments within the limitations and the bias of my knowl- edge.Much in this book is highly critical of the particular aspect of Chinese Communism which it examines, but I have made no at- tempt to render a definitive verdict on this far-reaching revolution- ary movement. I am critical of thought reform's psychological tactics, not because they are Communist (or Chinese Communist), but because of their specific nature. In the last section of this book, these tactics are compared with practices within our own culture, which also receive critical treatment insofar as they resemble the ideological totalism of thought reform. Instead of contrasting the "good we" and the "bad they/' rather, I have attempted to identify and understand a particular psychological phenomenon.In the pursuit of this understanding, I have recorded all that seemed relevant, including the details of whatever psychological and physical abuse my subjects encountered. I believe that this comprehensive approach offers the best means of contributing to general knowledge, and to the clarification of an emotionally loaded subject; and I hope that this study will thereby ultimately contribute to the resolution, rather than to the intensification, of cold war pas- sions. It is in fact one of the tragedies of the cold war that moral criticism of either side is immediately exploited by the other side in an exaggerated, one-dimensional fashion. One can never prevent this from happening; but one can at least express the spirit in which a work has been written.Such an approach requires that I inform the reader about my bias in both psychiatric and political matters. Psychiatrically, I have been strongly influenced by both neo-Freudian and Freudian cur- rents: the former through an association with the Washington School of Psychiatry during and immediately after the research study itself, and the latter through a subsequent candidacy in the Boston Psychoanalytic Institute. Both influences were also present in my earlier psychiatric residency training at the State University Medical Center of New York. I have found the theoretical writings of Erik Erikson, especially those relating to questions of personal identity and ideology, particularly relevant for this study. At the same time, I have constantly groped for new ways to bring psychological insights to bear upon historical forces, and do so with a humanistic focus. Thus, I have made extensive use of my subjects' biographical
PREF ACE X l l lmaterial, and have attempted to include in these presentations a flesh-and-bones description of their life histories in relationship to pertinent social historical currents, as well as a rigorous psychological analysis of their responses to thought reform. This seemed to me the best way to deal with the inseparable relationship between stress and response, and (in William James' phrase) to "convey truth."
My political philosophical bias is toward a liberalism strongly critical of itself; and toward the kind of antitotalitarian (in the psy- chological terms of this study, antitotalistic), historically-minded questioning of the order of things expressed by Albert Camus in his brilliant philosophical essay, The Rebel. No one understood better than Camus the human issues involved in this book.
I should like to mention a few of the many people whose direct personal assistance was indispensable to the completion of this study. David McK. Rioch lent initial support when support was most needed, and always continued to enrich the work through his urbane eclecticism, his provocative criticism, and his personal kindness. Erik Erikson, during many memorable talks at Stock- bridge and Cambridge, made stimulating and enlarging suggestions, both about specific case histories and problems of presentation. During the latter stages of the work, David Riesrnan offered gener- ously of his extraordinaryintellectual breadth and his unique per sonal capacity to evoke what is most creative within one. Carl Binger has been sage and always helpful in his advice. All four made thoughtful criticisms of the manuscript, as did Kenneth Keniston and F. C. Redlich. Others in psychiatry and related fields to whom I am indebted are Leslie Farber, Erich Lindemann, Margaret Mead, and Beata Rank. In the perilous subtleties of Chinese cultural, intellectual, and political history, I was constantly counseled by Benjamin Schwartz and by John Fairbank, both of whom read parts of the manuscript; and earlier in the work by Lu Pao-tung, MaMeng, Howard Boorman, Conrad Brandt, and A. Doak Barnett The literary advice and loving sustenance of my wife, Betty Jean Lifton, can hardly be documented. My father, Harold A. Lifton, also did much to encourage this study. The Hong Kong research was sponsored for the first seven months
XIV THOUGHT REFORMby the Asia Foundation, and for the remaining year by the Wash- ington School of Psychiatry. The manuscript was completed under grants from the Ford Foundation and the Foundation's Fund for Research in Psychiatry, both administered through Harvard Uni- versity,Finally, I must acknowledge my debt to the forty research sub- jects, Chinese and Western, whose personal thought reform ex- periences are the basis for this study. The extent of their intelligent collaboration in this work is apparent in the biographical chapters. In these, I have altered certain details in order to protect the sub- jects' anonymity; but none of these alterations affect the essential psychological patterns.
CHAPTER 5 PSYCHOLOGICAL STEPS
There is a basic similarity in what both Dr. Vincent and Father Luca experienced during Communist imprisonment. Although they were held in separate prisons far re- moved from each other, and although they differed very much in their responses to reform, they were both subjected to the same general sequence of psychological pressures. This sequence was es- sentially the same despite the fact that these men were very dif- ferent from each other, with different personal and professional life styles. Nor was this thought reform pattern common to just these two: it was experienced by all twenty-five of the Westerners whom I interviewed.
to renounce the people, the organizations, and the standards of behavior which had formed the matrix of their previous existence. They were being forced to betray—not so much their friends and colleagues, as a vital core of themselves.
This self-betrayal was extended through the pressures to "accept help" and in turn 'lielp" others. Within the bizarre morality of the prison environment, the prisoner finds himself—almost without realizing it—violating many of his most sacred personal ethics and behavioral standards. The degree of violation is expanded, very early in the game, through the mechanism of shared betrayal, as another priest described: The cell chief kept asking information about Church activities. He wanted me to denounce others, and I didn't want to do this. . . . A Chinese Father was transferred into the cell, and he said to me, "You cannot help it. You must make some denunciations. The things which the Communists know about any of your Church activities you must come out with." . . . Much later I was put in another cell to bring a French priest to confession. He had been stubborn, and had been in solitary for a few months. He was very fearful and looked like a wild animal. . . . I took care of him, washed his clothes for him, helped him to rest. I advised him that what they might know he might as well confess.
Although there is a continuing tension between holding on and letting go, some degree of self-betrayal is quickly seen as a way to survival. But the more of one's self one is led to betray, the greater is one's involvement with his captors; for by these means they make contact with whatever similar tendencies already exist within the prisoner himself—with the doubts, antagonisms, and ambivalences which each of us carries beneath the surface of his loyalties. This bond of betrayal between prisoner and environment may develop to the point where it seems to him to be all he has to grasp; turning back becomes ever more difficult.
thought reform differently, nor did anyone respond completely to all these steps; at the same time, the experiences had such magnitude that they affected every prisoner in some measure, no matter what his background and character.
1. THE ASSAULT UPON IDENTITY
From the beginning, Dr. Vincent was told he was not really a doctor, that all of what he considered himself to be was merely a cloak under which he hid what he really was. And Father Luca was told the same thing, especially about the area which he held most precious—his religion. Backing up this assertion were all of the physical and emotional assaults of early imprisonment: the confusing but incriminating interrogations, the humiliating "strug- gles," the painful and constricting chains, and the more direct phys- ical brutality. Dr. Vincent and Father Luca each began to lose his bearings on who and what he was, and where he stood in relation- ship to his fellows. Each felt his sense of self become amorphous and impotent and fall more and more under the control of its would-be remolders. Each was at one point willing to say (and to be) whatever his captors demanded.
Each was reduced to something not fully human and yet not quite animal, no longer the adult and yet not quite the child; instead, an adult human was placed in the position of an infant or a sub-human animal, helplessly being manipulated by larger and stronger "adults" or "trainers." Placed in this regressive stance, each felt himself deprived of the power, mastery, and selfhood of adult existence. In both, an intense struggle began between the adult man and the child-animal which had been created, a struggle against regres- sion and dehumanization. But each attempt on the part of the prisoner to reassert his adult human identity and to express his own will ("I am not a spy. I am a doctor"; or "This must be a mistake. I am a priest, I am telling the truth") was considered a show of re- sistance and of "insincerity," and called forth new assaults.
2. THE ESTABLISHMENT OF GUILT
Dr. Vincent and Father Luca found themselves unanimously condemned by an "infallible" environment. The message of guilt which they received was both existential (you are guilty!) and psy- chologically demanding (you must learn to feel guilty!). As this individual guilt potential was tapped, both men had no choice but to experience—first unconsciously and then consciously—a sense of evil. Both became so permeated by the atmosphere of guilt that external criminal accusations became merged with subjective feelings of sinfulness—of having done wrong. Feelings of resent- ment, which in such a situation could have been a source of strength, were shortlived; they gave way to the gradual feeling that the punish- ment was deserved, that more was to be expected. In making their early false confessions, Dr. Vincent and Father Luca were beginning to accept the guilty role of the criminal. Gradually, a voice within them was made to say, ever more loudly: "It is my sinfulness, and not their injustice, which causes me to suffer—although I do not yet know the full measure of my guilt." At this point their guilt was still diffuse, a vague and yet per- vasive set of feelings which we may call a free-floating sense of guilt.4 Another prisoner expressed this clearly: What they tried to impress on you is a complex of guilt. The complex I had was that I was guilty. . . . I was a criminal—that was my feel- ing, day and night.
3 . THE SELF-BETRYAL
The series of denunciations of friends and colleagues which both Dr. Vincent and Father Luca were required to make had special significance. Not only did making these accusations increase their feelings of guilt and shame, it put them in the position of subvert- ing the structures of their own lives. They were, in effect, being made
The common pattern becomes especially important in evaluating the stories these Westerners told me. Each was attempting to describe, in most instances as accurately as possible, the details of an ordeal from which he had just emerged. But what each reported was also inevitably influenced by his immediate life situation—his psychological transition between the two worlds, his personal struggles for both integrity and integration, his feelings about suc- coring and threatening colleagues and strangers in Hong Kong, his view of me as an American, a physician, a psychiatrist, and a person. All of these circumstances could affect his account, and especially its emotional tone. Therefore, both during the inter- views and in the later study of my notes, I had to sift out what was
Not every prisoner was treated as severely as were Dr. Vincent and Father Luca, but each experienced similar external assaults leading to some form of inner surrender—a surrender of personal autonomy. This assault upon autonomy and identity even extended to the level of consciousness, so that men began to exist on a level
4. THE BREAKING POINT; TOTAL CONFLICT AND THE BASIC FEAR
continued in the link.. like that shit wartards?

Hi so this might be a longer post i’m just at my wits end. There will be a TLDR at the end but I ask you to read for as much context as possible.
So I’m 23 and still live with my parents. I live with my dad and stepmom, and I’m very much done with being here and have been for a long time. I’m autistic and have anxiety/depression and they are very old fashioned and “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” when it comes to mental health. They constantly shame me for struggling and for not “acting like a normal person”. Im constantly mocked for the way I speak and for my body language and also criticized on a normal everyday basis, mostly from my stepmother.
She’s incredibly hypocritical. She doesn’t let me defend myself or freaks out whenever I try to. Im very non confrontational and tend to cry when I try to speak about my feelings towards them, which makes things a lot worse. My dad goes into yelling fits and this usually causes them both to argue with each other.
They get on my ass about forgetting things (which is hypocritical because they have forgotten to pick up important medication for me on multiple occasions), constantly get on my ass about school (im in my 5th year of college, which my dad is making me transfer to a school closer to our house. he does not pay for my college.) They also get on my ass about not having a full time job.
I guess the straw that broke the camels back recently was the fact that they didn’t congratulate me for finishing my semester. Which, sure, whatever. But it’s the fact that I was hounded to tell them the dates I was finished with school “to celebrate together” that makes me angry.
There is also other things that I wont get into, like the occasional gaslighting, using my goals against me, making fun of my interests, constant criticism no matter what I do, control/needing to know where I am at all times, and belittlement. My siblings are also frustrated with my stepmoms actions but they do not get it as bad as I do.
My dad has stated that he doesn’t want me to move out because he doesn’t think i could handle myself after a breakdown I had last year while I lived in my college apartment. (Note: this wasn’t a breakdown out of nowhere. A lot of events such as death, what was supposed to be my final semester of college, a breakup with my girlfriend of 3 years, shitty roommates)
I guess another note is that my parents try to convince me that anyone I move in with will hate me because of my depression and “slowness”.
I’m very tired of living like this, I’m fucking 23 years old. My boyfriend and his mom have offered for a place to stay in Arizona and have been doing everything they can to help me out there. They’re both very sweet and I can’t thank them enough. I visited them back in March and I almost canceled my flight back when my dad flipped out on the phone at me after figuring out that I opened a student credit card a few weeks prior.
I have some roadblocks stopping me from moving.
1.) I can’t drive. Which isn’t necessarily an issue, my bf’s mom has offered to help me get on the road once I get there.
2.) My cat. I have a cat that gets incredibly nervous when in a carrier, to the point where she has awful diarrhea and throws up. It’s not fun to deal with.
3.) The fact that I’m moving cross country. I would like to move my stuff there but I don’t know what would be the best method. I don’t trust my parents to pack my stuff after I move out.
4.) School? I’m sure that I can transfer after I get settled in. I just have to worry about loans.
6.) Also I was thinking about applying for disability, which my therapist and I started and I know that takes awhile to process. I’m not sure if I would need to wait until that’s settled/wait until I get to Arizona.
I guess I’m all over the place and I feel like at this point me waiting until next spring or god knows how long before moving out isn’t an option. I told my parents that my dream is to move out to Arizona with my boyfriend, and my stepmom flipped her shit at me about it. I don’t know how I should tell them or when or if I should tell them at all.
TLDR: I need to move out of my toxic household. I have a place to go but it’s cross country and I have a cat that gets anxiety shits that I want to move out with me. I guess I just want some advice on how I should go about this.

I have issues with questioning whether or not a memory I have is real or from a story someone has repeated to me a lot. Like you know how when listening to a story you visualize it. Well sometimes that visualization sticks in my brain and then years later I get reminded of it and can't tell if it's real/if I was actually there or not.
My mother was asking if I remembered something and I told her I don't know because I have an image in my head but I'm not sure if that's from me visualizing it (she's repeated this story a few times) or if I actually remember it. She gave me a disgusted look and asked "I don't get it. You have such much trouble with telling if your memories are fake or not. How do you know if someone told you something and you now think it happened to you?" And I fucking hate myself for telling her that because she already thinks I'm remembering some of my trauma wrong or that they didn't happen and i just gave her the fuel. But she's right, I have trouble with that all the time. How do I know if any of my trauma memories are real? I mean I never had a story told to me before like the trauma I remember but my mother did use to trauma dump on me all the time since I was like 8 so what if I imagined all of this trauma happening to me in response to learning it could happen from such a young age? Like yk when you see someone get in a car crash and think "what if that was me" and then imagine yourself in that situation. Yea what if that's what happened and it just stuck with me and now I think it's a real memory? I mean the youngest it happened I was 4. How can you realistically have memories at 4? Isn't that impossible? Idk I'm just really doubting myself again.

So I had what was supposed to be an evaluation appointment with NorCal Kaiser therapist and was told that I have to have a clean drug screen to even start the assessment process?! I was told this was the policy, but I'm finding nothing on anything weed/adhd related other than with stimulants, and this just does not make sense to me.
I'd emailed the provider to warn them of my intent for the appointment and was told of the requirement to have a clean drug test before proceeding to next step. I assumed this meant meds (which 10000% makes sense to me!), and considered the assessment to be the current step, but obvs I was wrong. Also, they didn't tell me this until the appointment, but if I had taken and failed the drug test, they wouldn't be able to assess or even drug test me again for 3 months?!
Is this an actual thing? This makes no sense to me. I get that the weed can make some things worse, but I've only been on it like 2yrs (am 37), so how does that change how I was before it? They claimed this was a kaiser policy for our area, but I'm not finding any regulations relating to weed and adhd other than with stimulants being prescribed, and in this same session we discussed that those would NOT be appropriate for me as they increase my anxiety and make me so much more irritable, so I really really don't understand. We literally spent the vast majority of the session talking about what meds would be used (one-ear-out-the-other 'cause these names mean nothing to me if I can't even have the diagnosis to access any of them)!
I'm so frustrated and feeling defeated. I just want to feel even half-way normal and to know why the fuck I'm like this one way or another! If I just know why at least I can educate myself and not be so upset with myself. Now I have to wait another month+ to even get evaluated.
​
Is this real? Have others run into this? Or is my provider fucking with me? (note they laugh/scoffed during this appointment when I expressed that I'm terribly distressed and non-functional, so yeah I'm having major trust issues)

I first realized that I was trans about 3.5 years ago. At the time, I didn’t have too much dysphoria (I was fairly young.) I haven’t been okay with absolutely anything feminine for a while now. But, around a year ago, it started getting very bad. I’m upset by EVERYTHING. I can’t stand my voice, my legs, my chest especially, I cut my eyelashes because they’re fairly long. I’m sick of it. I’m even careful of the way I text and write. I cry over legal documents or anything using my birth name and gender. I can’t take a bath or shower without crying, I just can’t stand it anymore. I hate the thought that I have ever done something remotely feminine. Even after surgery, I’ll never feel fully happy with the way I was born. I hate that I ever had to be born like this. I know that I’ll continue female puberty, and it scares me so bad. All I want is to not have to deal with this anymore, but I can’t help it. I’ve done all I can, but until I can get surgery, I can’t do any more to help this.

Alright, Hylians. Maybe I missed something, maybe I’m thinking too hard about this, but I can’t find my answer so here goes nothing.
If Zelda turns herself into a dragon and nurses the Master Sword back to life for thousands of years, then who is the Zelda we start the game with?
Quick recap: Link and Zelda unearth Ganondorf under Hyrule Castle. Rauru’s secret stone falls off of his hand, Zelda picks it up and it turns gold (same colopower as Sonia’s). Ganondorf wakes up, throws Zelda into a chasm and her new secret stone thrusts her back in time. Glossing over otherwise important topics, she receives a broken Master Sword, eats her secret stone, and becomes Zeldragon. From here it would seem that she spends presumably thousands of years cruising the skies nursing the MS back to life, until link comes along to pick up her tears and ultimately receive the MS from Zeldragon.
So if Zelda is in dragon form with the MS in the skies, is the Zelda we start the game with an extra? The MS Link is using should also be a dupe by this logic too.
The only way I can make it work out is that when she got thrust back in time, it basically forced a bunch of events to happen that otherwise wouldn’t have and instantly turned her into the dragon somewhere else in Hyrule, probably the depths.
I know things get really weird when you mess with time so it’s easy to brush it off, but I couldn’t help but think about this as I was finishing up the story. Anyways, let me know if you have an explanation or also noticed this paradox.
PS: Also noticed that if Rauru’s secret stone turns into Zelda’s when she grabs it, then when she goes back in time and meets Rauru then they technically have two of the same secret stones right next to each other... Pretty sure I’m just thinking too hard about this.

In most fully 3d old school first person shooters, does the player character usually have separate hand 3d models and rigs for each weapon they have? I mean it makes sense that the player character would have a different character model and rig for each weapon; the proof is right in front of our eyes. However, I want to know if the player character always uses the same 3d model for the hands per weapon. Now when I mean same 3d model, I don’t mean indistinguishable models or a copy; I mean just mean one.
I just want to know if the player character uses one 3d model for the hands when they’re using different weapons. The reason why I’m concerned about this is because I’m a beginner indie game developer making a first person shooter and I want to organize my projects in the most professional way possible. I just want to know what the professionals do and I do want to make sure my player character has hands( as oppose to a gun floating in the air). Another concern I have has to do with optimization.
Whatever your answer to the main question I’m asking, can you list me some video game examples? I’d prefer if these examples are from the 1990’s but, they don’t have to be. The older the example, the more inspired I’ll be ( since older games have to deal with limited hardware and I’m doing everything on my laptop). I mean, does Joanna Dark( from Perfect Dark) have a character model of hands for each weapon she uses or does she only change weapons without changing the character model for her hands? What about Morgan Freeman from Half-life 1? What’s going on with him from behind the scenes?

I thought Electrum used to be able to do this, but now it seems I can tell Electrum to use specific inputs for a transaction.
"Coin control" doesn't appear to let me have much control, actually (v 4.4.3).
Example: I set "coin control" to spend from:

• address 1: 0.2 BTC
• address 2: 3 BTC

However, if I spend less than 3 BTC, it will only select address 2 as the input to the transaction.
I want to have both inputs go into the transaction, even if I'm only spending 0.01 BTC.
"Preview" area doesn't actually let me manually change any inputs either.

I had always thought that tuning suspension was all about changing the valve stack and shims to fit your riding style, and the shop that it didn’t matter which shop did it…basically in my example EVO or Race Tech could give me exactly what I want and one won’t be better than the other. Maybe it is like this or maybe it’s not and I’ve had wrong assumptions all along. Someone recently asked me which shop I’m taking mine to and said they heard that some shops/brands are better suited for hard enduro/single track. Anyways, I live in Idaho and most of my riding is pretty gnarly single track. There is local EVO shop (this guy rides the gnarliest shit) and a local race tech shop who I’ve used before and had great results. EVO is several hundred cheaper also. So, does it actually matter who I take it to? I’m not going to gold valve my KYB since they essentially work exactly the same way.

I've been playing for a bit now, but would still call myself a newbie to the game. That said, I think I can share some valuable info for anyone looking to play this game but is new. I think the most valuable info is the money making strats, since the other stuff you can find better explained in videos.
Gear:

• By and far the most important stat is speed. It shouldn't be the only stat you have, but it should be a significant portion of it. If you're slow, you'll be an awful flag runner and be unable to parkour some of the more important shortcuts.
• For weapons, I'd suggest Swords in melee because that's literally what everyone uses. Daggers I see rarely. Reach+power is helpful.
• For bows, loading speed takes priority for me, and I often see others using the "stun" type arrows. Focus doesn't seem that important since the name of the game is often just spam that bow.
• As of writing this the best bow for mid-short range is by and far Bow1, then Bow2 for more generalized.

Maps:

• Know the map, and know how to cheese everything.
• If you don't know, find someone whose really good, wearing ninja stuff and protect them as they go to get the flag, and watch what they do.

Strats:

• This game values zerg rushes over skill, so if you can, book it to the flag with speed gear until you know you can't (ie their team isn't bots or just bad).
• If you need to defend, find spots with the least possible chance of getting ganked and gives you the most visibility. Some maps this isn't really feasible, however.
• If you're fighting up close, jump and confuse your enemy and attack with your melee (bonus points for not confusing yourself). Keep your distance if you have a longer reach weapon and good speed, and they'll lose by walking into you.

Money Making Schemes:

• So, in this game, the less time you spend in a match the better if you want to try to gear up faster.
• By and large the easiest method to make money is bum-rush-flag-capturing as hard as you can.
  • A single Flag Capture is worth like 130 points minimum, plus carrying points. That's 13 coins.
  • In comparison, it'd take 13 kills, 26 assists, or 65 head/long range shots to get the same number of coins, so fall into the "sunk cost fallacy"
• This is usually only feasible if the match has just started.
• Avoid long games, or stalemates. They are by and large fruitless compared to short games.
  • If you get into a game where your team is 0 to their 2, and you hear "the music", gtfo. That's a lost match 90% of the time and will provide you with like 5 coin.
  • If you get into a game with equal number of players, but there are people with 20-30 kills, gtfo, that's a stalemate and the amount of time could be seconds or 10-20 minutes for maybe 30-40 gold.
  • If you're holding the fort, but your team is doing less than stellar, and you are losing players, considering just letting the other team win (don't go afk, you'll be kicked and lose everything, just jump around like a bot). It sucks, but I've been in games where I've scored 90+ kills, and the other team just continues to bum rush, and my team is non-existent or bad. I ended up with 200 coins, but it took like 40 minutes. I could have played 5-8 games making 50-100 each in the same amount of time, and far less stress and frustration.
  • If you're playing and it stalemates, and you've only got like 10 kills, and everyone is playing super passive, consider bailing. See above for coin comparison to flag captures.
• Use ads as you see fit, but the double coin is very helpful and the ads are fairly short.
• Some of these may sound shitty, and they kind of are, but it happens to me constantly, and it's just the nature of the game. So rather than fight it and be frustrated, just go along with it and you'll be making more money and be less frustrated.

That's about it! Wanted to dump this before I decided to take a break since I feel like I've peaked in terms of gameplay (not that I'm the best, there are far better, but I'm happy with what I've learned in a short amount of time with just some low cost gear).

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