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A day late but we're here, my little cheeto eaters! Remember as always to grab your bingo cards and let's get our little long weekend slumber party going. This whole fucking thing is FORTY MINUTES LONG, you're all lucky that my sibling who was supposed to spend the day chilling at my place has apparently forgotten that plan.
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• There's a new opening style than all her other vlogs. Not sure if that's because of Morgan but also I don't care enough to go hunt down exactly which influencer she cribbed this style from. It features a lot of horse butts. Also her using her phone in bed, which I thought she didn't do because she's mindful.
  • The music she uses is this song, which is DEFINITELY not copyright-free, so have fun learning how actual copyright law works, Paige! The lyrics playing over the are "there are times when/it feels right to/run away, run away/when you ask the same old questions/every day, every day/Why do I set the stage?/Why do I find my place on the pedestal?", because I guess Paige went to the Love is Blind school of "make sure the lyrics of whatever song you use are really, REALLY literal"
• Giveaway winners! Congrats to the three people who won a pile of Paige's old garbage! Don't worry though, if you didn't win her trash, she'll be doing a lot more of these because she "appreciates [us] guys so much" and "wants us to experience some of the things that I'm so grateful to get".
  • Nothing says grateful like giving away your extras to strangers and instead of doing anything to promote them like you were supposed to in return for getting them for free, using the existence of this stuff as a way to leverage yourself up on the algorithm.
    • There's also Dairy Boy in the giveaways, of course, because no one's buying it organically.
• She explains moving Louie, it's the same stuff she said on Instagram. Weirdly horses are like the only animal I've never gotten super obsessed with, so I have no idea how BS this is, but it's almost word-for-word her IG explanation, so it's the same level of BS that was. She does word this though as it being a "charity project" and "passion project" she "donated to", because there was a dearth I guess of places to keep your horse in the rich people part of Connecticut.
  • She has to first run to get a grazing muzzle so Louie doesn't overeat in the pasture. This sets off my internal bad animal treatment alarms in a huge way, but again, don't know enough about horses to know if this is warranted.
• Just kidding! Don't let Paige into a Tractor Supply unsupervised, she's too much of a ~country girl~ to not come out with "so much shit". She also got this beef jerky that looked "so good". It's Iowa Smokehouse beef jerky.
  • It apparently looked good because all she had for breakfast was coffee. Why she only had coffee I'm not sure, since it's not like she didn't have the time to get something better. Coffee and beef jerky for breakfast sure is a choice, and one I'm sure her intestines didn't make her pay for later. This summer is all about ~hot girl indigestion~.
  • Story time! This looks like "legit, real beef jerky", which Paige knows because when Paige was in boarding school she stayed with a family who had a lot of cows and they made their own beef jerky, which Paige was of course intimately involved in, I'm sure. Anyway this makes her have such high standards, which is why she loves when somewhere like Tractor Supply (an enormous fucking chain, Paige) or a "local country mart" sells jerky because it's always better.
    • Fun fact that took me less than thirty seconds to Google, this "real" beef jerky is also available on Amazon
• More of the same definitely not copyrighted song as she packs up Louie's stuff and moves him. There's a lot of woman laughing alone with salad shots as she packs up and pretends to talk to... someone and "carry stuff" (ie: stand around touching her own body awkwardly)
• Some weird things about this whole sequence - 1) the "farm" she moves Louie to appears to have very poor, dilapidated fencing, red flag for me. 2) Paige is wearing a white shirt and then a white cardigan the entire time while DEALING WITH A HORSE and it never gets stained or dirty, which tells me she did fuck all, 3) the only guy with her is this big bald much older man who I assume is the guy starting this venture, meaning he's almost certainly who films her cantering around on Louie without her wearing a helmet laughing, which is so unbearably awkward. Like imagine asking a random older dude to film you doing that in a pure white sweater, 4) when Paige brushes Louie he sheds SO MUCH. Is that bad? It feels bad. When a dog sheds that much, even in the spring, it usually means no one's been brushing it regularly, 5) Louie has such a dip in his back and it makes me wince every time, especially when Paige shows him next to another horse. I don't know what that's from, but I hate it and it doesn't look comfortable for him.
• Nance and Baloo are at home when Paige gets back so she's just going to "throw on a little outfit" and they're going to go out for Mother's Day in Brooklyn. Paige really, really didn't want to go into the city because I guess she's suuuuch a country girl (nice, Paige) but she's doing it for her mom and to see her sister
  • Oh my god she DOESN'T CHANGE HER SHIRT FROM THE BARN, she wears a white henley, what look like blue pajama pants, and a leather coat.
  • Nance steals some of Paige's clothes (how I don't know since they're totally different sizes) and according to Paige is"slaying the boots", a phrase I will pay actual cash money to never hear Paige say again
• Next morning, return of the out of focus camera, though it may have been by accident this time because it stays out of focus. Anyway serious business Paige with her serious business glasses is starting the day with some "desk work". Is that a thing? A phrase? What the fuck is "desk work"? Has anyone who actually does work at a desk ever called it that?
  • When she's in Europe it's definitely harder for her to sit and do computer work even though she has a laptop but starting the day on her desktop at the same time as her "whole team" (WHO) it really makes a difference for them being all on the same page.
    • Okay so my actual job in real life is doing shipping and order management for a small creative goods company. I know very intimately what goes into product development, order fulfillment, etc, and Paige is just straight up saying nonsense. Like I paused and gave serious thought to what possibly she could be talking about, and I don't know what all this "work" is. If she was making everything in-house that's one thing, but that's not work she could possibly be doing or overseeing from Europe. But if she's outsourcing stuff, having it sent to a warehouse, and, then paying someone to ship it out for her, I guess she's doing... development? But that makes no sense because again, she outsources everything. She isn't doing wholesale, there isn't a lot to arrange for pop-ups if everything is outsourced and pre-made and she's only supposedly having one this summer, she only has eight products so the website maintenance is pretty easy, as is accounting, and she only really sells stuff around a drop which she does maybe twice a year.......... like genuinely I'm baffled here. It's my job to do this exact same thing every day with products that aren't jeans or sweatshirts or whatever and I'm so, confused about what her "work" is.
    • Allegedly they're on the "final push" for so many big projects and you know what, if any of these projects involve Paige actually doing anything besides feeling three different samples of denim swatches or deciding which vendor she's going to outsource oven mitts to and saying "I like this" or "I don't like that", I will issue her an apology. I feel safe in the idea that I won't have to issue her an apology, but I will keep on on offer in the off-chance I'm wrong.
    • She just finished making a line sheet (genuine lol once I looked up what that was) and apparently we are going to freeeeak out when we see her new merch - sorry, elevated lifstyle products.
    • It's denim. She's been working on denim. She shows us the final washes but it's in direct sunlight so it's all blown out and out of focus so they look mostly white? But she got the "perfect color". IDK, it's a light wash. I prefer dark wash, actually. It's a lot more flattering and forgiving. But we've already determined my aesthetic and Paige's aesthetic are not the same aesthetic. She's nobly pushed back production six months because she refused to do a full run unless the wash was absolutely perfect. It was so expensive but she needed to love love love the denim, because it's really what she's passionate about and what she wants to do, she wants to be the best denim brand out there. You know, because she's hand-making this denim herself, not just sending instructions to low-wage Chinese workers while being afforded the privilege to fuss over the perceived quality for six months because she has parents who are willing to flush money down the toilet on this. Also, for the record, but denim is like... a choice? Like what is the vision, exactly, because every clothing retailer has some version of denim and people are already super married to their faves, so how exactly is this business model working for her, here. And it doesn't look like stretch denim either, which means it's going to fit a very, very narrow group of body types. Like speaking from ample experience crying in GAP dressing rooms over my "freakish" (read, not built like a popsicle stick) as a teenager in a time before jeggings, jeans are not forgiving and easily worn by everyone. The thing about what Paige is doing so far is that it's universal enough. You don't have to really tailor an oversized sweatshirt or trucker hat to fit you. Everyone can make room for another overpriced candle. But denim??? IDK girl, you do you.
• Paige makes Olivia a latte. Olivia comes in and say it's story time about coffee. Paige asks if she should turn off the camera for this and Olivia says no so Paige continues to film herself preening while Olivia tells her a story about how messy she is frothing milk. Paige spends the entire time interrupting her to go "no! No! No! No!"
  • They look at buttons and rivets and embossed leather patches for the back, and then sweatpants leg panel samples. Baloo hangs out with them and Paige tells him he's stinky. She eats toast.
    • WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANY OF THIS. She's not DESIGNING anything, she's just doing that thing like, you know when you're choosing your racer in Mario Kart and there are a couple hundred variations of wheels and chassis and you just choose the unique combos you want to put together? She's doing that but with generic clothing. I've been jokingly referring to her stuff as "elevated Zazzle" but this isn't even Zazzle because Zazzle you UPLOAD ACTUAL ARTWORK TO. Why is she re-inventing the wheel? What improvements does she think she's making TO A PROVERBIAL WHEEL.
• Not sponsored showing off gifting time! It's not in focus at all so we can't really see any of the products (professional!). One of the products she mentions is that she's friends with CYNTHIA ROWLEY'S DAUGHTER who has nepo baby'd her way into dropping oven mitts and aprons that look like Strawberry Shortcake's rejects. Like they're cute, but they're again little strawberries on white. Like tell me none of you silver spoon-ass bitches cook without telling me by making WHITE OVEN MITTS. Those will turn yellowish and burnt after, what a single batch of brownies? Taking a piece of toast out?
  • This haul includes her tennis Tommy bag. Not sure how she got it since she brags about it being "sold out everywhere even Poshmark and depop"
  • There is sooooooo much of this free bullshit. How does she even get this much free bullshit. Why do companies waste so much money sending this to people like Paige who don't fucking care and openly give it away. What is the point of an influencer. IDK at this point I'm spiraling, this vlog is like a third of the way through and nothing has happened.
• Paige unpacks with Nance. She has so many clothes and I don't think she's worn any of them. Full disclosure that this was the point I actually got annoyed and had to take a break and play some video games for fifteen minutes because while growing up comfortably or on the upper end of middle class in a generational wealth type of town has taught me a lot of patience for people with too much money, there is at some point a limit to how conspicuous over-consumption and waste I can handle, and that point for me came when I saw how many sweaters Paige has that look like they've never been worn. And the on top of this she has a giant suitcase of stuff she's going to depop! The environment? Never heard of her.
• Paige is going to get groceries. She's needed Nance's help to do all the hard stuff she's had to do today like going grocery shopping and having soooo many clothes. She goes to Trader Joe's, then goes to a horse shop and of course buys MORE SHIT SHE DOESN'T NEED. I'm not condoning what the French did when they invented the guillotine, like that was really violent and horrible, but the point is that the longer I watch this vlog the more I'm understanding their motivations.
• Paige goes on a sunset ride with her friend Lauren, this song plays in the background as a flagrant copyright violation, I realize at this point that there's no way this video is going to stay up without Youtube copyright striking it so I have to be extra detailed for posterity and we still have so much to go and this is going to take forever. Louie's back still looks horrible and as someone with inherited lordosis, I feel for him.
• Tommy facetime! He says exactly one sentence and catches a tiny fish, for those of you keeping track on your Bingo cards.
• Nance is still over Paige's house when Paige gets back because she never leaves. Paige is wearing old Dairy Boy sweats. At this point when I scrolled down to press the play button again I realized that Nance has posted a comment about how proud she is of Paige within seconds of the video being uploaded. I live with my mother and sometimes I still need her help on stuff like yelling at health insurance until they cover stuff for me and even I am confused by how codependent their relationship is. Like doesn't Nance have her own house? A husband? Other children? Paige has spent this entire vlog needing Nance's help to do everything from grocery shopping to folding laundry and acting like a teenager. It's a rich text for a therapist to one day unpack.
  • It's Taco Monday, this is just a dumb and boring version of Paige performing the white people taco night song. Also bewildering, Paige seemingly DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE TACO STUFF. It involves almost no cooking! She even bought the spices pre-packaged! She needs Nance's help on this too!
  • Undisclosed new cooking knife brand product placement. They are amazed that it............slices.
    • OH NO SHE SAYS SLAYING WITH BOOTS AGAIN ABOUT THE KNIFE END THIS MISERY
  • Ahahhahah the reason they're so impressed is because they've apparently been cooking with unsharpened knives. Like Paige didn't know you could sharpen knives. A master chef, ladies and gentlemen!
• Oh god we're only halfway through. Paige wakes up the next morning. She got so freckly yesterday (read: she's courting melanoma and is going to age like a raisin). She's going to go play tennis at a club in Greenwich her parents are members at (Note, she shows the logo which means you can spend five seconds googling to discover it's this club. Membership is invite only and it's gauche apparently to discuss how much membership costs, but the estimate is EIGHTY GRAND A YEAR. To be clear, that is nearly THREE TIMES the average American household income. Paige is the child of people who spend more in one year to play tennis a few times a week than most people do getting fucking doctorates, which clears up a few things for me: one, I've never gotten those texts where she casually demands Morgan Wallen pay her back tens of thousands of dollars like it's $50, but I guess to her it is like $50, and two, why everything about Paige and how she acts towards people and money in this video is a million times more effective at radicalizing people on economic policy than anything Bernie Sanders has ever lain awake at night dreaming of.
  • Camera going in and out of focus during this explanation.
  • Ah she's doing it with her mom. Again. Heaven forbid Paige breathe without Nance.
  • Oh also she has to shoot an ad in the tennis dress, but she definitely likes and would go to play tennis anyway.
• More unboxing undisclosed adver- I mean PR.
  • I'm so serious, tthe flagrant wealth being thrown around in this video and the amount of free stuff a trust fund baby with absolutely no merits or skills whatsoever is getting because she has 300K followers on Instagram that she probably bought half of is like the best argument for socialism I have ever seen.
• .Paige gets dressed in the third outfit of the day to go to the dentist. The pants are pointedly too big on her so they don't stay up in the waist and create this weird enormous kangaroo pouch around her crotch. She pairs that with a toddler sized medium t-shirt for a football team she's probably never heard of, a choker that looks like something a boy band member in the early 2000's would wear but out of fake pearls, and cowboy boots. It's... the look sure is looking, let's just say that.
• Paige opines on how much she prefers to do vlogs at home, but don't worry, she won't stop doing travel vlogs for us! (Oh thank goodness, where would we be without the insights we get from them.) She feels like they add variety to her channel (what, no, we LOVE coming with you to the barn to watch you ride without a helmet over unsourced music! five times a vlog!). Sometimes she feels like there's this pressure to show us as much as she can, which explains why all we see in her travel vlogs is hotel room bathrooms, tennis matches, and the tops of various tabletops in restaurants. Anyway she feels like there's pressure because in reality she's there for Tommy. Which we KNOW, that's the entire PROBLEM, Paige. If you were HONEST about the fact that being a WAG on tour sucks and you don't get to actually see the places you're pretending to really go and immerse yourself in, we WOULD HAVE FEWER COMPLAINTS AND YOU'D FEEL LESS ANXIETY, the problem is that you have to keep compulsively lying about how cultured you are and how you really ~got a feel~ for the location. Just stop lying!!! Stop!!! Lying!!! Challenge!!!!! The anxiety you feel and the reason you have to monitor this subreddit comes from your CONSTANT LYING.
  • Ugh she would NEVER have gone to ROME if it weren't for Tommy. I think this is a ploy for authenticity but boy is it coming across as privileged.
    • I do think in her own Paige way though this entire monologue she has is about something I've noticed her talking around a lot - I think she's afraid if she stops travelling and being a WAG no one will care about her. I think she's terrified of doing what makes her happy, which is being home, hanging out with her mom, riding her horses, and spending her parents' money. But if she just let herself do the things she actually liked and stopped trying to always pretend to be cooler and more interesting than she is, no one would keep paying attention to her, because it's not like she has a sparkling personality or wit or unique point of view. Like I'm an interesting person to talk to, but if I tried to make a vlog of my life it would be pretty boring. I work a 9-5 M-F job and the most interesting part of my life is when I go to a concert or craft fair on the weekend or one of my neighbors goes out of town and I watch their cat. It's not riveting, but I also don't need to be doing fascinating things in order to be or feel like an interesting person. But people like Paige who need to always be travelling and going to events and flaunting how busy they are are often really sad and empty people. They're not doing any of the little mundane things that make people happy and spending time connecting with the people around them, they're just always moving around because they're afraid if they stop for five seconds, people will see that the only thing they have going for them is all that movement and travelling. I think Paige is constantly torn between the anxiety that comes with constant travel and isolation and putting herself on display and removing herself from the things that bring her a sense of calm and security, and the anxiety that if she allows herself to feel calm and secure, she'll lose the attention she craves. IDK seems like a thing she shouldn't keep indirectly admitting to in vlogs, seems to kind of undercut half of her material, but what do I know.
  • Also she really is going to positively contribute to Tommy and his life and career, ie: she needs to go home and feels comforted by home because that's where her mom and Amanda wait on her hand and foot and everything is about her, which she misses when she's with Tommy because when she's on tour with Tommy she has to accept that he's the center of attention and she's not.
  • Her home vlogs have been performing the best, like, significantly. Since she probably buys views and comments, this just means she likes them better and therefore buys more engagement for them.
  • Apparently her analytics are telling her that 30% of her views are coming from the "explore" feature, which she says is YouTube rewarding her for being consistent, and, uh. No. Not how that works.
    • I mean yes if you buy engagement it will put you in the algorithm more, but this is the time in the video where she accidentally self-owns. If you're an actual channel getting actual views from people who actually enjoy watching you, then VERY LITTLE of your viewership should be coming from the "explore" feature, MOST of it should be coming from subscribers or regular viewers or people who watch similar content. That's how the majority of people watch YouTube or find new videos to watch. But if fully a third of your viewers are coming from what's essentially a randomizer button, that pretty much confirms Paige is buying views and/or that a lot of viewers leave after a minute or two. Because if her content was good on its own, people would see it and subscribe, and then she wouldn't need to rely on the "explore" feature. But if she, as she says, is consistently getting a third of her viewership from that feature, than that means that a third of people are just randomly watching whatever YouTube puts in front of them and not engaging with her at all, meaning the ONLY POSSIBLE explanation is that she's essentially buying enough engagement to keep appearing on the explore page, but buying the opportunity to be put in front of people isn't actually getting her a larger audience because what she's serving them is a warmed-over turd.
  • Anyway Paige is counting on you not knowing the extreme basics and trusting that she "knows someone who used to work at YouTube who told her that's how the algorithm works"
    • Um if you don't know about social media - no one who works at YouTube or any social media company knows how their algorithm works unless they're the ones writing it, and if they do know, they're not going to tell you because that's extremely valuable, proprietary information and also there's like a lot of papers and NDAs and non-competes they'd be breaking if they did. They're telling you to upload consistently because it's good FOR THE MEDIA COMPANY. The company is trading in being a content hub, so they need people to consistently be uploading content, ie: raising the value of their site in a way they don't have to pay for. That's the entire business model of every. Single. Digital media platform. Heck, that's how most dating apps work too. The product is data. They want you to be giving them free product.
  • "I don't know, like I don't like doing things just for social media anymore?" HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
    • And a week later you spent a weekend attending influencer parties in the Hamptons for....... what exactly. The scintillating conversation?????
    • She's very quick to say that's not the case if she has to shoot an ad! Loves shooting ads! Please keep sending her free stuff!
    • God this is taking me multiple hours but at this point I've sunk too much time in and also am convinced this won't stay up for copyright issues, so I'm taking a break to like, stretch and clean the bathroom, anything to get me moving and listening to my own thoughts which are in complete sentences.
• I'm back after cleaning the bathroom. I've been at this so long that my sibling has shown up. But I only have ten minutes to go and I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. This whole completely unhinged and unintentionally revealing rant has approximately a trillion uses of the word "like" is from 21:00 to 26:00 and if you want to watch it you can. I probably should have transcribed it for a full AP Lit level analysis, but I'm tired. If we're lucky, when Paige tries to re-upload this with copyright-free music, she'll have kept that in there.
• Paige ordered a shed! She's so excited!
• The fence looks mildly less jacked up when they go back. Paige is brushing Louie constantly in this video. Fourth time I think we've seen her do this. I feel like there's a lot more to horse care than brushing them and she only shows us this part because it looks aesthetic and she doesn't do any of the actual hard or necessary parts like shoveling horse shit, but what do I know.
  • This sequence uses unsourced but definitely copyright song number three!
  • Fun fact: Paige is the same fake brown color as Louie's dappled neck. Aw, you know how pets eventually look like their owners? Cute.
  • Shout out to Paige's friend (perhaps Amanda? Olivia? Can't keep the preppy brunettes straight anymore) who actually wears a helmet riding.
• Next day, we open with a bit of this song (not sourced, copyright infringement number four, possibly more that at this point I no longer notice tbh). Paige puts on boots to go to the new shed and realizes the vlog is going to be so long because she's never done a whole week at a time before. Because I've made it this far, I'm the best. (Aw.)
  • Paige calls Tommy to wish him happy birthday and films it, which seems... odd. Especially since she doesn't film it in a way where he can see she's filming.
  • Paige gets tea for breakfast (nutritious) and a coffee for the guy at the barn we must have seen earlier. His name is Aaron. I could do some google sleuthing and find him probably, but I don't care. Paige met him going on trail rides at her old barn. Do middle aged men usually hang out at barns doing trail rides? Just scoping out young idiots with disposable income? The whole thing seems sus. Apparently he has like seven kids.
  • Paige never realized how expensive pre-made sheds were, but it's a local business that makes it by hand! I assume the local business is called Costco And Sons.
  • More uncredited The Shins plays as Paige only loads the shed with blankets and nothing heavy or unpicturesque.
  • Another Tractor Supply run, at this point they're who really should be sponsoring Paige
  • Paige goes to say goodbye to Louie and he HIDES FROM HER IN THE WOODS
    • Girl.
    • Oh my god no wonder he's mad at her, they've been staying somewhere WITHOUT A STRUCTURE. He's been sleeping OUTSIDE. It got into the 40's every night in New England last week!!!
• Out of focus Paige talking about how she had suuuuuch a long day "running errands". Olivia didn't get to join Paige on her little horse girl excursions because she had to be at the warehouse and onboarding a new DB employee. Anyway Paloma is in town now
  • Paige learns that apparently you're supposed to be washing veggies as she prepares things to grill. PAIGE HAS BEEN COOKING THIS WHOLE TIME NOT WASHING VEGGIES. I.......... I am going to need to be sedated after this.
• Paige exfoliates and puts on a definitely not sponsored face mask
  • She's wearing skiing pajamas. In case we forgot she was a skier. Did you know she was a skier????
    • PSYCH, these are from previous ads with PJ Place but actually she really likes these and this one ISN'T an ad she just loves the product so much
• Paige is doing her makeup! We're at the end stretch! I'm almost there!
  • She took a day off of vlogging to go see her grandparents, but immediately segues into her Ulta trip. Because of her stupid grandparents, she didn't get to go to the barn, frankly how can she survive in these conditions.
  • Dairy Boy phone case plug! She was soooo specific about what she likes in phone cases and definitely didn't just choose between Zazzle, Redbubble, or (insert other brand here)
    • It's a shitty thin cover that looks like it protects your phone from approximately nothing and should cost $10 but I estimate she'll sell it for at least $40
    • Of course because Paige was so super particular about the details and business-minded when it comes to quality it took a long time to make........phone cases.......
  • Tommy calls and says hi
  • Paige rambles about her day and makes coffee. Tommy sent her peonies because he's "so cute". We see the phone cases and they're weird and ugly. More "gifting" (undisclosed advertising) that came in the mail
• Paige makes pickled red onions, every time she does it she changes the recipe a little bit even though she totally has a recipe and isn't googling. She starts pickling carrots which she says are going to "go bad soon" (that takes like six months, how do carrots even go bad?) She also does it in a water glass which, good luck ever drinking from that again without it tasting like vinegar.
• And then with no warning, it cuts off. That took me three and a half hours. It's been a journey and I hate it. If there is ever a vlog this long, I'm doing it in segments across multiple days because I'm exhausted by this much wealth and inanity. Time to go touch grass, start dinner, wash my vegetables before I do so. You know. The little things.

James Bond is a fictional character created by British author Ian Fleming in 1953. He is a British secret agent, often referred to by his code number, 007. The character of James Bond has since become one of the most iconic figures in literature and film, representing the epitome of the suave, sophisticated spy.
The James Bond movies, also known as the “007” films, are a series of spy films based on the character created by Ian Fleming. The franchise has become one of the longest-running and most successful film series in history, spanning over six decades.
The first James Bond film, “Dr. No,” was released in 1962, introducing Sean Connery as the suave secret agent. The film was a success, leading to a series of sequels featuring Connery as well as other actors who portrayed Bond over the years, including George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and Daniel Craig.
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The Bond films have evolved over time, adapting to changing cultural and cinematic trends. While the early films had a more lighthearted and campy tone, the series took a more serious and gritty direction with the release of “Casino Royale” in 2006, featuring Daniel Craig as Bond. This rebooted the franchise, presenting a more realistic and emotionally complex portrayal of the character.
Each Bond film is a standalone story, with occasional references to previous movies. However, there are often recurring elements and characters that fans of the franchise have come to expect, such as Bond’s signature Aston Martin car, his iconic catchphrases, and his relationships with characters like M, Q, and Miss Moneypenny.
The James Bond movies have had a significant impact on popular culture, influencing the spy genre and inspiring countless imitations and parodies. The films have garnered critical acclaim, commercial success, and a dedicated fan base worldwide.
As of my knowledge cutoff in September 2021, the most recent Bond film is “No Time to Die,” released in 2021, which marked Daniel Craig’s final appearance as James Bond. However, please note that there may have been subsequent releases beyond my knowledge cutoff date. To read More: [Click Here]

Hi all, first time posting/and visiting your community here. I'm looking for some advice on brands or specific treats for a student of mine. I teach grade 6 students in British Columbia, Canada (might help with what treats would be around) and one of my students is diabetic and gluten free. I enjoy doing class treats that are equitable (everyone can enjoy) but struggle finding things that fit both of these categories that kids would like. With the hot weather we've been having frozen treats are a necessity :)
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Also, in general, have any of you had diabetes while a student in school and do you have any advice for a teacher in how best to support the student?
She does her own checks on her arm and does her insulin at home, so we primarily support her with how to respond to her numbers/decision making food wise. We also did some education on diabetes with the class when she joined us. I've done my best to communicate with her about how much she wants shared with the class and have tried not too draw too much attention to her that she doesn't want (nothing like pre-teens to have social problems and pressures).

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Let's take a look at the Tokenomics and Contract details:

• Total Supply: 1,000,000,000 $PUCCI
• LP Burned: Contract Renounced
• Contract Address: 0x92B49350c8516F1DC47bfDCC5A32d8e77e809994

While PUCCI may be considered an undervalued coin at the moment, it's important to note its potential for growth. Fashion-themed cryptocurrencies have gained traction in the past, and PUCCI could be an exciting addition to this niche.
In terms of community support and notable mentions, both ianheinischmma and iambroots on Twitter have mentioned the coin, which helps raise awareness. PUCCI is also trending on Dextools and gaining popularity as the hottest meme on Pulse right now. The community is determined to reach Richard Heart, one way or another.
Speaking of price action, PUCCI has shown impressive growth since its inception. With the community rallying behind it and the increasing attention it's receiving, the coin has quickly gained traction within the crypto space.
It's important to remember that investing in cryptocurrencies carries risks, and it's crucial to conduct your own due diligence. The market is highly volatile, and while PUCCI shows promise, it's essential to assess the potential risks and make informed investment decisions.
If you're someone who appreciates the intersection of fashion and cryptocurrency, PUCCI might just be the gem you've been looking for. Keep an eye on this project as it continues to develop and gain traction within the crypto space.
Happy trading, everyone! And remember, always DYOR (Do Your Own Research) before making any investment decisions.

Chapter 1
Camila
I cursed under my breath when my car suddenly stopped in the most dangerous place in L.A.
I was in the middle of the road in a popular neighborhood where the enemy held a stronghold. They must not know a girl like me was stuck here — a lady carrying drugs worth hundreds of thousands in the trunk of her car.
I began to hit the steering with my fist and stared at the front of the car as if I would understand the problem by looking hard. Then, I sighed again. This was indeed a terrible situation. But I had learned not to panic in dire circumstances like this. All I needed was an idea of what I should do and do it fast.
I picked up my phone from the holder and dialed Lucio's line. It rang and rang, but he didn't answer. That was Don, the man who sent me on this mission. He was a busy man and wouldn't answer random calls unless it had to do with successful delivery.
But I was in danger, and he could lose me and the goods in the car.
I looked out of the window to have a clear view of my location. The Gerrard Lorenzo cartel dominated these areas. I would be skinned alive and fed to the dogs if they knew I was one of Lucio's girls.
I removed the key from the ignition and tried again, but the car only stuttered for a few seconds and stopped. My heart had begun to beat fast and repeatedly. The time was getting late, and I began to imagine wild and dangerous stories — of assaults and girls who lost many things or their lives for being the mafia moll for a cartel. What would happen if a swarm of boys (drug dealers) came around and found out I was that girl?
I was the girl who pushed drugs for Lucio — the Spanish guy who terrorized them, the enemies, with his ways.
I picked up my phone and dialed his line again. He had told me to move the drugs to those who would sell them in Beverly Hills and return home as soon as possible. My job was to be fast and carry the money home without hassle. The phone rang for a few minutes, and I said to myself, “Please, Lucio, pick up, pick up,” many times.
He didn't pick up the call, though, and my anxiety multiplied.
I looked out the window to my left and saw a four-story building. I could not step down and ask for help, and I dared not leave the car alone to look for help. I couldn't open the trunk for any stranger because of the bags in the trunk. There were four of them, and all of them were fully stacked. This was my job, using my beauty as a tool to drive safely through the street and handling drugs for those who paid for it.
Trying to start the car again, I said a little wish as I turned the ignition. It stuttered like it did before and stopped. I needed to update Lucio pretty fast. I had been on the road many times and on long journeys, and I knew when it wasn't safe.
I heard a car coming along, so I pulled out my pistol from my pants. I had rarely fired a gun except some years ago when I was made to punish a guy who tried to assault me. Lucio made me do it.
The car drove past without care that another vehicle was parked and the occupant was a young woman.
I put my pistol back in my pants and tried to start the engine again. For the hundredth time, it failed to start. The only option was to call for help, the fastest I could get. So, I picked up my phone and called the only person I knew could answer on time. David. He was one of the soldiers and lived some hours away from here. He had helped many times like this. Sometimes, he would send a boy to come around, and sometimes, he would go around himself and bail me out. Not usually in cases of stuck cars, but those involving police and street fights. He had been the guy.
I called him thrice and listened to the phone ring each time, but he didn't answer. My hands began to shake as I put the phone down. The night would get late, and when it came to moving drugs, this amount of drugs, I should have a way to protect myself in case anything went wrong. The night, too, was my best bet.
I pulled out the gun again and stepped out of the car. First, I put it closer to my left hand and stood outside the vehicle. Then, I opened the hood, trying to see if there was something I could touch that would miraculously save the day. Then, I would run the errands, return to my place, and text Lucio I had delivered the package. Once my job was done, I would get paid.
Nothing made sense under the car hood. They were just metals and bolts and wires.
I heard footsteps coming along the road and looked up toward the place. They were boys, and you could tell they had been drinking from the slurry words they threw around to how they laughed like they were being paid extra if they could sound a little louder than the person beside them.
I was fucked. They were five in number, and my mind went to the last time I had a moment like this. If Lucio hadn't intervened, three boys could have assaulted me ten years ago. That was the beginning of our relationship.
I put my hand on my waist and grabbed the gun's handle. I wouldn't pull it out if they didn't do anything stupid. But if they did, so help me, God, they would be dead in a minute.
"Ma'am, do you need help?" I heard the voice from a distance. Before I could turn my head, two boys were beside me, looking down at the inside of the car. "Try to start the car, ma'am," one said.
I rushed to the driver’s seat and tried to start the engine. The boys told me to stop, and they began to do a few things. They were probably college students returning from a party? I couldn't figure out what they were doing with the car. All I knew was I would be happy if they could start the engine.
The engine started. They worked on it for a few minutes, and it made a blaring sound and started. I almost jumped for joy. Then, I got out of the car.
"Thank you so much," I said.
"If you have booze in the car, we will appreciate it," one of them, who had done nothing with the car, said.
"I don't have booze, but I've got this," I said, bringing out five hundred dollar notes. I handed them the cash, and they thanked me. Then, they walked away in the other direction.
I started my car and drove toward Beverly Hills, where I would deliver the drugs.
The road was quiet because it was in the dead of the night. I was a little late to deliver the drugs, but this usually happens. Sometimes, you get to where you want to go on time. Sometimes, you must take a different route because you got tipped that the cops were on the way. The bags of drugs were stacked with some bar soap, too. It had never helped during the search, but I had never been stopped and searched for the past two years I worked for Lucio.
I arrived at my destination some hours later and drove into the compound. There was the usual flirting with the guys. Then, they took the bags out of the vehicle. The drugs were tested, and I was allowed to go. I texted Don instantly. This time, he read the text but didn't reply.
Soon, I was on the raid again, like the driver that I was. One delivery in the middle of the night, and I had been paid more than I could earn as a bartender. I could have stopped working at the bar, but Don owned the place and needed me there. He trusted me with his affairs and business. We could get married in the future when he was ready, but I was sure that was a big lie.
I was close to the road that led to my house when I saw a car behind me. I saw the light flashing before my eyes. I tried to keep it off, but it followed like a parasite would follow its host. This was a chase, and driving was one of my favorite hobbies besides dancing on the pole. Stripping was my job some years back.
So, I hoped the car wouldn't fail me again as I began to speed. This was the road between Beverly Hill and San Diego., and it was dark and lonely.
Eventually, my car failed me and pulled over when I needed it to start moving fast. I held my pistol and looked at the inner mirror.It was too late to fight, and it was time to accept defeat. Holy Mary, forgive my sins, I said. Damn, I had forgotten how to pray the rosary or anything related to the church.
I put my gun down and waited.
Then, someone corked a gun from a dark distance. Footsteps began approaching, and I shut my eyes and raised my hand. This was probably a message for our Don, for something he had done wrong or had been doing. A gun was pointed at me through the side window, and I looked up to see it.
More tears pushed out of my eyes, and I shut them tighter like I was ready for a final call. Then, the sound of a gunshot followed. I was not the one who fell, but the man standing by the car door.
I looked around the area and saw a man coming along. He corked his gun again, and the vehicle behind started, and a few gunshot exchanges followed.
I didn't know what to do, but sitting and screaming didn't help. So, I lay down in the car and stifled my screams by biting my lips hard.
Some minutes passed, and everything died down. I got up slowly and looked out of the side mirror and at the road. Two men were on the floor, the one who had tried to shoot me and another man who had appeared like an angel and shot at the first man.
One was dead, and the other was bleeding out by the side of his arm. At first, I wanted to drive off. This was what Lucio would have wanted me to do. He would like it if I had run for my life. But if this other man had not risked his life as he did, it would be my body lying dead now and not his.
I opened the door of the car and looked at the man. He was still breathing but on the floor, almost dead.
"Hello, sir," I asked.
He didn't answer, but I noticed he tried to move or lift his hands up.
So, I ran closer to him.
"Sir, I can get help," I said.
He shook his head. He got on his feet as if he had not been shot or bleeding badly. He stared at me like he was not there, just a moving body without life. A ghost. "You should get out of here. They will come back for his body," he said. Then, he began to walk down the road. He only took a few steps when he crashed on the floor and collapsed completely.
I rushed towards him and noticed he had passed out. If I could get him home, I could get him some help. So, I began to drag his body toward his car.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C41F6W2W

New tactic on iOS
Got a text message which came up as wells as if from Wells Fargo. Trying to figure out the number or email and there is no contact information.
I have never seen this technique before. The message is as follows.
(Verify Activity: $361.09 Purchase @BestBuy In St.Louis,MO On 5/29/2023 . Reply Y If Recognized. No? Use: xxx) xxx-xxxx To Request Help. Quote Case
Some of the issues here are I don’t bank with Wells Fargo. The phone number is funky and the message starts off with a ( and closes with a ) in the middle of the phone number. Makes me think this is some XSS abuse but that is unfamiliar to me. There is no contact information shared and it had a name already populated.

5+ years ago, I worked in an office with a coworker (EC) that always one upped you. If you had good news, he had better news. If you had a crappy weekend, it was nothing compared to his. A coworker came in looking distraught, and we finally coxed it out of her that her mom was recently diagnosed with malignant breast cancer. EC over heard and suddenly his dad was diagnosed with penile cancer and a heart attack on the same day. If looks could have killed, he would have melted through the floor. A bunch of people went to HR after that, but in true HR style, he was too important, we can't prove its false, blah, blah, blah. Nothing ever happened. We knew he was full of it and there was no way half the stuff he said was true, but it wore you down! About 5 months later, we we're talking about our weekends on Monday. I casually mentioned that my nephew took State in both grade and weight in a recent wrestling tournament. Who shall be overhearing but EC! He swoops in, says, "My nephew has plenty of wrestling medals. I bet he's not as good as mine. What's his name? I want to pull up his ranking." I gave him the name because EC had jumped with both feet before I could tell my other coworkers that he's been Nationally ranked since he was 6 for both grade and weight class. I also didn't say that he had recently accepted a prestigious invitation to wrestle for an international wrestling club with a number of Olympians having come from the program. Winning state was a pre-qualifier to the program, but everyone knew he would get it done. I didn't know they posted stats for 4th graders online, but sure enough, he pulled him up on the office computer. It only took a minute before he closed the window and tried to change the subject. A small crowd had gathered at this point, so I grabbed his keyboard and with Ctrl, Shift, T, I reopened the window promptly. I don't know enough about wrestling stats to tell you how good he was, but others apparently did and were freaking out about his stats. I knew he was good but was apparently a savant or something. Least we forget, people then started asking about EC's nephew and his stats. EC was floundering and trying his best to back pedal, but no one would let him. We searched with his last name and got no one that it could be. EC then started saying it was his nephew on the other side. EC had bragged about being related to the governor, so we knew what name to search and still, no one the right age range to be his nephew. Suddenly EC yelled that he was in 2nd grade, so it wasn't online. My nephew's stats were online from first grade, so that was BS. Next came, "he lives in another state," but that didn't matter as he was quickly shown wrestlers from other states, clubs/leagues, amd even genders. EC's face was turning every shade shade of red before he finally stormed away yelling something about harassment and going to HR. HR did reach out, but we pointed out the blantant hypocrisy when others filed complaints about him. A strongly worded email about unity, being a team player, and respect in the work place was sent around. That everyone ignored. I stayed there another 10 or so months before I moved. EC still tried to insert himself into conversations and one up everyone, but all it took was someone saying, "how did your nephew do in wrestling this weekend?" and he shut up.

So I’m Omniverse’s Episode “An American Benwolf In London” Kai calls Ben on her phone so now I’m confused to how she got ben’s number after saying it’s been 5 years meaning they last saw each other when they were both 11 Can someone explain

Hi I'm in Italy I made a Netflix subscription in Turkey but there is a geo restrictions for viewing content in my country. I added an Italian phone number and an Italian payment method through the chat form but nothing. Is there a way to bypass this geo restrictions without vpn?

I find it sad that my PA seems to be doing great, and for some reason it’s still very hard for me to believe.
I’m 33/f and husband is 39/m. Together for 13 years. Porn was an issue almost immediately in the beginning. We had issues with it off and on. Then I let it go around 2016.
We’ve had so many DDays, but I’ll only talk about the most recent two. First being February 25th of 2022. In which I found the following after not looking in his phone for 4 years.
— He at some point began to browse escort ad websites. Which lead to him at some point buying a cheap secret phone to contact them. In which he kept the phone in our vehicle in a compartment I never checked or under the seat.
— He kept forgetting to pay the secret phones bill, so at some point around May 2021, he started using his own phone to contact them. This would be his demise when at 4am one of them decided to text him, and I had a gut feeling to pick it up and check for some reason.
— Upon going through the rest of the phone, I opened CashApp to find money being sent to several female account names I didn’t recognize, starting in May 2021.
— I did some digging and got their real names and numbers and contacted them asking them to help me out with info. Only a few obliged. In one conversation he was telling a girl he’s been looking for an escort that does bareback and looks good looking for months. That he wants to meet up, but can’t at that moment, but wants to meet soon. Then sent her $50 as a good faith payment, and another $50 for a few nudes.
He denied everything. He used excuses such as “Someone hacked my cashapp account. Someone spoofed my phone number. Someone lost that phone in our vehicle.” Mother in Law passed away during this time, life got crazy, and we moved on from it. This is when he put a new passcode on his phone that I wasn’t allowed to access, after always having an open phone policy.
I was able to access it once while he was asleep in October 2022, in which I found links to OnlyFans. Assuming he clicked on a link being curious, I didn’t say anything about it. It sounds sad but I was mostly relived to not have found texts from escorts or the escort website. We had a talk about OnlyFans the year before in which he made it clear it was off limits for both of us.
Which brings us to the most recent dday, February 3rd of this year. We had some drinks and he passed out in bed with his phone unlocked. Due to some weird events the previous weekend, I had a feeling something was up. I even came to him and asked if he had a porn addiction again because of it, in which he smiled and hugged me and laughed, and assured me he did not. This is what I found the night he passed out with the phone unlocked.
— Several days with links to OnlyFans, in which the links showed he had an actual account.
— In his photos section he had screenshots of OnlyFans profiles. In the “deleted photos” section, a photo of an OF profile and an accidental screenshot of a porn video featuring “teen” and “step sis” in the title.
— A secret Instagram account and Twitter account.
— Looked through his TikTok Watch History and found out why he had been obsessed with the app for the last few years. He was watching half naked young women and accounts made to promote their OF accounts.
— That he absolutely had a raging porn addiction and it likely never ceased for any period of time.
— That for years when he got out of work, he was sitting in his truck in the back of the building watching porn for 45 minutes to an hour before coming home. This explained why he got out at 6pm, but got home at 7pm, despite working 5 minutes down the road.
When confronted the day after, he was defensive per usual. He tried minimizing like usual, “I know you don’t like the porn” and “I just like seeing naked women.” And “All men do it, good luck finding one that doesn’t do it.” After further discussions this is when he broke down and seemed to start seeing the light.
He dropped the defensive attitude, and suddenly came to me saying he felt he had a problem. That he wanted help. That he knows not all men do it to that extent and was always embarrassed. He signed up for health insurance and asked me to help find him a therapist. He started answering every question I had truthfully. Past and present. That the escort situation was a fantasy and he never planned on actually doing it, lied to them so they wouldn’t block him ( don’t believe that based on the screenshots. )
All of that to say this. The first two months after, It was very hard for me to believe that he wasn’t still using Incognito to watch it. Even though I was checking Google Activity and Location, I just couldn’t believe he was able to stop like that.
So a month ago I put one of those spy apps on his phone. I thought for sure I would find out then. The app logs even Incognito use, apps downloaded and deleted, everything. It’s been exactly a month, and not one single thing has popped up that he shouldn’t be doing. Nothing.
You would think that would make me feel better! Sometimes it does. But other times it just makes me feel like he’s using another device I don’t know about. It’s that hard to believe. I keep waiting to open the app and see something, and yet it never happens. In a way it almost annoys me sometimes, because I wanted to finally see what he browses in Incognito. What keywords he searches, is he still going on escort ads, ect. Yet there is nothing.
It’s sad that it leads to this, that even when they are doing everything right, it’s hard to believe. You just keep waiting for the shoe to drop. Since that’s how it’s always been. They promise to quit, but never did. You think things are great, then a bomb gets dropped. I truly wonder how long it takes for that feeling to go away.

Just had an interesting (positive!) experience with our local dealership and a dead battery.
First, I apparently missed or never saw the battery recall information. I had no idea there was an issue with the batteries.
We'd just returned home from an extended trip and our battery was dead on our 2019 Forester. Not surprising since it sat for a while and the battery is the original when we purchased the vehicle new in 2019.
Subaru Roadside jumped me the next morning and I decided to drive to the dealership. They were not busy and were able to take a look. They did the curbside basic battery test and it failed on "cold cranks" and they told me I could limp it along or get a replacement for $500 dollars.
We have one car (and have had some issues with the auto-shutoff feature) so I decided to go forward with the replacement. They took the car back and within minutes came back to me with a sticky note with the phone number to reach out to the Subaru Battery Settlement hotline, along with instructions on how to get to the right place in the phone tree to talk with a human.
I called, spoke with a human, gave them my VIN, determined my vehicle was in the affected class, and I received a reference number to give back to the dealer. Gave the dealer the code, they did a more extensive test (I gathered the code might unlock a tool developed by Interstate Battery to determine if the battery is actually bad), got news that it both needed to be replaced and would be completely free.
A few hours later I drove away with a brand new battery for free from a recall I didn't even know about. 10/10 experience, but come on how did they ship this cars with such an underpowered battery!
TLDR - Didn't know about https://www.subarubatterysettlement.com. My battery died, took it to the dealer, they told me about the settlement and I got a free battery out of it.

Been 'putting myself out there' for almost a year now and these are my high level observations of the NY market of guys in general.
Group 1: Married, open, or emotionally unavailable for whatever reason (e.g. just broke up with their ex). They are strictly looking for sex, only this, so won't integrate you into their friend circle or life in any other way outside of the bedroom even if they like you (if it even get's there; the sex must be convenient for them). I would say that these guys are generally more reactive/wholesome and will actually have a decent conversation with you at least. They will never leave eachother, regardless of whether they still like eachother, because of the "perceived loss".
Group 2: Single but something is "wrong" e.g. they are just too far away to even be able to hang out in person weekly, projecting / crazy, not ready for anything more than sex even if they claim they are, no time to actually hang out / integrate you in any way, have life plans for the next 1 year (holiday's etc) etc. Honestly, the sex is 'meh' at best with these guys in general as they seem so "sterile/robotic" in general.
Group 3: Online time wasters e.g. Tinder guys, who will speak briefly to you, add and then stalk you on Insta, but make little to no initiative to actually meet you.
Group 4: Transactional contract singles. Has a conversation with you, actually meets up with you, but it fizzles because you are not wanting a 'contract / arrangement' e.g. they are wanting someone to split rent with, someone to take insta pics with rather than an actual emotional connection.
This is all regardless of venue: bars, clubs, parties, social groups, online apps, anywhere its the same drama. This is also not just "hot guys" (i.e. 7+/10) but even guys who are 3-4/10 have the same or even sometimes more attitude.
I've spoken to a large number of couples (open, married, otherwise) and the large majority seem to be looking for something else, but are just too scared to take the steps to do anything, so operate in this "middle road" path where they get a "buffet" of things from different people and others are screwed over the process. A lot of couples I've seen (and they have even shared this with me) are borderline abusive and quite frankly not even a couple to one another, but its all branding and titles here. Singles do exactly the same thing, holding many threads, not committing anywhere though.
This leads me to believe regardless of how much I "self improve" or "work on myself" there is literally no one for me and wonder if I should just hookup and give up on even trying for anything more. I can offer best sexual experience (several message after saying it was hot and we should meet again but rarely do), emotional connection (several will share things in person and open up etc but will not pursue anything more), anything really, but it won't be enough if there isn't a guy also reciprocating at the same level. With the number of options available, poor attention span particularly of the new generation and pressure of social media (no one will break a 'social media' relationship because of fear) it's just getting worse. I'm starting to see why guys here are "jaded" but a lot of the times it is self-inflicted and the opposite of what therapy teaches us (be okay on your own etc).
At this point, I am tempted to just ask one of the married/open guys if we can just be fake BF's for a few months, just to get something more than what is out there. Thoughts?

I need some advice and we are very confused as to what is going on. I LIVE IN FLORIDA In this post the only thing I am talking about is marijuana
Today my boyfriend texted me, telling me that the police seized the phone of a "dealer" (this "dealer" is part of a more elaborate company, they are a company and the dealer is just a delivery driveemployee, he isn't dangerous and the company while illigal is surprisingly professional, just for some context) he had been in contact with. , he was very scared and started saying his goodbyes to me
He told me that the courthouse called him, they wanted to question him, they were very aggressive and said he had half an hour to come to "the courthouse " or they would come get him.
He did not go, the person OTP never specified what courthouse and the courts are closed today for memorial day which makes no sense, they also never came to pick him up.
The texts between him and the person who's phone was confiscated are of the plans they made to meet up, not only questions but actual business arrangements, of course no document of what happened irl. He is NOT in possession of any marijuana or any other drugs He has not smoked in a while, he would probably test negative on a test. He never owned more than an ounce or 1 and 1/2 ounce. And does not own this anymore.
He does not use this for recreational purposes, though he cannot get a card, he has OCD, ADHD, ANXIETY, and depression and uses this to sooth.
again, he does not possess anything and there's nothing in his system. he is 19.
what do the police want with him? will they reach out again? do they want him or Information on the person dealing? can he be charged with possession even tho he does not possess anything? and what CAN he be charged for if anything? will the courts bother pursuing him? if he is charged, is he likely to go to jail, or be on probation?
please tell me everything we need to know, he's a very anxious and paranoid person and is not doing well right now.
edit: the phone number that he was called from is the courts phone number!
edit: during the phone call my boyfriend was stuttering out of fear and the "court house" calling said " WHAT YOU DONT SPEAK ENGLISH NOW"

With the proliferation of cheap Chinese tech on Amazon, there have been concerns over the integrity of the devices from a security standpoint. Extra chips or firmware with backdoors / "phone home" code are (as I understand it) very legitimate concerns to have when purchasing cheap tech, especially on Amazon (and have been confirmed to exist in many military ID / CAC card readers, as one example).
With that in mind, I'm looking for 1) a good NVMe to USB adapter, 2) in general, how to assess the trustworthyness of tech (in general, not just NVMe enclosures) without buying it, taking it home, and plugging into my computer.
Regarding 1) (NVMe to USB), are there reputable sellers / companies on Amazon that are proven / trusted brands? Would it be better to simply buy the "Insignia" brand from Best Buy? Are those less likely to be compromised because they come from a big box retailer?
Thanks.
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EDIT: If I went the Amazon route, I'd do something from a reputable seller like Plugable or Sabrent. Any issues with those?

Mostly just for fun and practice, I have been working on a homebrewed artificer subclass for an automaton character (I'll post the race stats I'm working on in a comment, for those interested). I have been trying to keep it flexible, fun, and thematically satisfying without being overpowered or overshadowing other players. I am of the opinion that you win DnD when everyone involved is having a lot of fun, and that fun is most had when everything is well-balanced and everyone can do cool things and shares the spotlight. I am fully aware that everything is ultimately up to the DM I play with and that party balance is also an important factor. I have done my best to compare this to preexisting subclasses, spells, and features to keep this balanced, but I'd love outside input. As I said this is mostly a fun experiment that I don't really expect to ever get to play, but I enjoy the creative process.
Thanks for taking the time to offer opinions if you decide to do so. And feel free to use any part of this as inspiration for your own homebrewed stuff. Happy adventuring!
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Artificial Artificer
Expanded Spells (Similar to Battlesmith)
3rd Level Feature
Choose 2 extra cantrips from the Artificer spell list. Starting at 3rd level, you always have certain spells prepared after you reach particular levels in this class, as shown in the Artificial Artificer Spells table. These spells count as artificer spells for you, but they don’t count against the number of artificer spells you prepare.
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Artificer Level	Spells
3rd	Identify, Shield
5th	Knock, Misty Step
9th	Counterspell, Fireball
13th	Greater Invisibility, Wall of Fire
17th	Telekinesis, Teleportation Circle

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Tool Proficiency (Similar to Battlesmith)
3rd Level Feature
When you adopt this specialization at 3rd level, you gain proficiency in one type of artisan's tools of your choice.
Create Familiar (Improved and reskinned version of Find Familiar)
3rd Level Feature
Crafting Time: 1 hour
Tools: Artisan’s, Smith’s, or Tinker’s tools
Components: S M (20 gp worth of a strong material such as metal or wood, glass, and precious gems)

• Once per long rest, you craft a tiny familiar that takes on any form you choose; it uses the statistics of any of the following creatures: bat, cat, crab, frog (toad), hawk, lizard, octopus, owl, poisonous snake, fish (quipper), rat, raven, sea horse, spider, or weasel, though it is a construct instead of a beast.
• Your familiar acts independently of you, but it always obeys your commands. In combat, it shares your initiative and acts during your turn. It can attack on its own or perform any other action in its stat block.
• If your familiar is within 60 ft of you, you can cast spells (cantrips or 1st level, requiring an action or bonus action) through it. This counts as a combined action and takes the action or bonus action of both of your turns. You cannot cast spells through it as part of your reaction, but it can take its own reactions, if available. If your familiar is within 5 feet of an ally, your familiar can use its reaction to block a successful attack roll against that ally, taking all of the attack’s damage.
• While your familiar is within 200 feet of you, you can communicate with it telepathically. Additionally, as an action, you can see through your familiar’s eyes and hear what it hears until the start of your next turn, gaining the benefits of any special senses that the familiar has. During this time, you are deaf and blind with regard to your own senses.
• When the familiar drops to 0 hit points, it leaves behind a pile of unusable debris. Your familiar is resistant to healing spells and potions. The mending cantrip can be used to heal your familiar 1d4 + your spellcasting modifier. When not in use, your familiar can be stored in a compartment on your body. Your familiar will regain full HP when stored this way during a long rest.
• You can’t have more than one familiar at a time. If your familiar has at least one hit point, you may reconfigure it into a new form without extra material components.

Integrated Offense (Made this one from scratch, but kind of similar to Battle Ready)
3rd Level Feature
At 3rd level, you gain the ability to integrate your artificial body with offensive capabilities. You can integrate up to two simple or martial weapons into your body, one on each arm. While integrated, you are proficient with these weapons. When you attack with your integrated weapons, you use your Intelligence modifier instead of your Strength or Dexterity modifier for the attack and damage rolls.
These integrated weapons can be drawn or stowed as part of the same action you use to attack with them. If an integrated weapon is separated from your body, it becomes unusable unless you spend time and material resources reconstructing it.
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Artificial Arcanum (Intent here is to provide options for a weaker version of Arcane Recovery or to choose one of two unique abilities. Not sure how much the flexibility might make this overpowered)
5th Level Feature
At 5th level, you have developed an internal magical energy storage system. Once per long rest, you can utilize this stored energy in one of the following ways:
Option 1: Spellcraft Charge
The advanced energy storage mechanisms within your automaton body allow you to store a reservoir of spellcasting power. You can store a number of spell levels equal to your proficiency bonus. Whenever you cast a spell, you can choose to expend stored spell levels instead of using your own spell slots. This feature provides you with an alternative means of casting spells, conserving your own magical resources.
Option 2: Ethereal Circuitry
Your energy storage system can be expended to alter the magiphysical vibrations of your physical form, allowing it to phase through solid objects. By expending your available energy storage, you can activate your ethereal circuitry. For the duration of this activation, you gain the ability to move through up to 5 feet of solid material, as if it were insubstantial. Alternatively, if an enemy successfully hits you with an attack, you can use your reaction to activate your ethereal circuitry, causing that hit to miss. This ability extends to subsequent attacks made by the same enemy on their turn.
Option 3: Momentum Burst
Harnessing the stored kinetic energy within your automaton body, you can unleash a powerful burst of speed and agility. Once per day, as a bonus action, you can activate your Momentum Burst. This grants you the ability to move up to 8 times your movement speed for the current turn. Additionally, your next attack roll made on the same turn has advantage, benefiting from the momentum and precision of your swift movement. However, if that attack misses, the next enemy to attack you before your next turn gains advantage on their attack roll, capitalizing on the momentary vulnerability caused by your aggressive maneuvering.
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Enhanced Familiar (This level seems a common time to improve previously acquired class features)
9th Level Feature
At 9th level, your mastery over the art of artifice extends to the enhancement of your familiar, allowing it to excel in various aspects. When you craft your familiar, you can choose one of the following options: Combined Utility, Enhanced Offense, or Enhanced Defense. Crafting a familiar in this way requires 50GP worth of the relevant material components, rather than 20)
Combined Utility:
With this option, you can combine the non-combat capabilities of two creatures into one familiar, creating a versatile and adaptable companion. By melding the essence of these creatures together, your familiar gains a range of utility features and abilities. For example, you can combine the bat and octopus to create a mechanical familiar that can fly, has blindsight, and can swim and breathe underwater. The familiar crafted through this option utilizes the higher ability scores and skill values between the two creatures, providing a powerful tool for exploration and problem-solving.
Enhanced Offense:
If you choose the Enhanced Offense option, your familiar gains a potent attack ability to aid you in combat. It gains the Miniature Fireball attack, which deals 2d8 fire damage in a 5-foot radius, requiring a Dexterity saving throw for half damage. The number of uses of this ability is limited to your proficiency bonus, uses are regained during a long rest. You can also use your bonus action to command the familiar to self-destruct, causing 3d8 fire damage to anyone within a 30-foot radius. You must have at least one use remaining and using this effect drops your Familiar’s Hit Points to 0.
Enhanced Defense:
With the Enhanced Defense option, you bolster your familiar's resilience and endurance. Your familiar gains additional hit points equal to your spellcaster level, making it more durable in combat. Furthermore, it gains the Relentless Endurance feature, allowing it to endure the most devastating blows. When reduced to 0 hit points but not killed outright, your familiar can drop to 1 hit point instead. This ability can only be used once and is regained after a long rest.
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Artifice Mastery (Again made this one up from scratch, but tried to keep it balanced with other 15th level features)
15th Level Feature
At 15th level, your mastery over magical manipulation reaches new heights. You gain the following benefits:
Masterful Construction: When you create a construct using your Create Familiar feature, you can craft your familiar with two of the three options specified in the Enhanced Familiar feature. Crafting a familiar in this way requires 100GP worth of the relevant material components, rather than 20. Your familiar’s blocking reaction also has an increased range of 10ft.
Nullification Shield: Once per long rest, you can use your reaction to erect an arcane shield to absorb damage from an attack that makes a successful hit against you. This shield absorbs up to 5d10 points of damage before dissipating, any remaining non-physical damage is taken by you as normal. You can also cast this through your familiar if it is used to block an attack: doing this uses both of your reactions.