Better call saul pharmacist

For the past 20 years she's been abusing me and she's very nosey into my business. She hates the fact I do well and she wants others in the community to think I'm crazy or mental person. Just because she came to America she thinks she's high level and better than others. Anything I do she gets bothered by. A lady from our own people was interested in marriage with me and she got bothered by it and said "That woman is too old for you". But that girl was actually a few years younger than me.
The crazy sister even told me that her 3 other younger brothers are her brothers and myself and brother older than me aren't her brothers. She also told me some girls from our home country she met in Tennessee were laughing at me when she told them I screamed from the shower (because she heard me scream when cold water accidentally touched me when I thought it was warm I was using).
When I bought a house with my mom and even paid part down payment mom informed me the sister (her daughter) was telling her to not listen to me and that she bought a nice house. She's making me come across as the undesired/unwanted person to my mom even for a house I bought with mom.
Years ago I remember when her husband called me to ask me to come join them in Black Friday shopping in Best Buy and when I arrived I saw him pretending to be looking around stuff because he knew she would ask me to buy a computer for tbem since he wanted her to surf my pockets and them she comes up to me and says "Ozzy I'll pay you back in tax return time can you buy me that computer?". I was surprised he didn't just ask me to buy the $700 computer since I am uncle to his kids. I did anyways because I had surplus of cash but she never paid me back during that tax return time. She essentially swindled me or bait/switched me. I suspect she told him "We can easily milk that guy". I suspect he knows this woman doesn't like me or thinks differently of me. Funny they've been divorcing and their parents have been trying to get them back together. He currently pays rent and all and sometimes visits them but I don't think they're together. He drives truck most of the time. They've fought numerous times.
Most recently she was visiting our home country and she contacted me to ask me if I can Zelle her $4k because she was broke and her hubby wasn't sending her enough. He was only sending her rent and some extra money for food. She said she would repay me during tax return time and Informed her sorry I can't because you told me that before a few times and you never did. I later found out she got some big money some other way because she bought our half sister a new phone and she and her oldest son had the time of their life on resort beaches and all. Some other friend of hers sent ber something. She thought of me to be dome dumb person or someone she can keep taking advantage of.
While she was there visiting country she tried to talk with a relative of ours that I filed process to bring to America. Relatives mom is here in America too. The lady didn't do anything wrong to her and never ever met her but the crazy Narcissist sister was telling me they're just using me for papers and not to bring her here etc etc. It really doesn't concern her. She tried calling her but the lady ignored her calls because I already told the lady in advance about the fact crazy sister was not happy with me bringing her to America. Crazy sister even told me that the waiting times are 7 years and that she instead should go boat to Europe or jump through US Mexico border. I informed the relative of all this stuff she said and she was surprised because she never met her.
In conclusion I finally informed the sister that it isn't those people that are her problem, it's me because she's always being bothered by everything about me. It would take more pages to tell you guys all the other stuff she did to me in past near 20 years. I'm out of your life because you're always hostile towards me and bothered by everything I do. If it was her other brother doing stuff like bringing a relative to America via a relative petition, she would not be saying anything bad about the relative of mine or anything else he does. This sister just hates me from the inside and thinks I'm embarrassing her and our family when I actually am not.
I told her I'm blocking you for good. As your kids get older if they miss me and wanna see me again, you can arrange with mom and her house for me to meet them.
I made it clear I believe she's a narcissist and will never leave me alone as long as I am in her life. Just because she's conscious and she was brought to America via plane back when she was 18 makes her think she's very high up there and haughty. When she was visiting our developing home country recently, I was informed she was bossing around aunties and people and mentioning she's from America and has wealth but the luxury home she was in was being rented with her truck driver husbands money and she doesn't have any money of her own. She's broke. Those people in that developing country often have more money and luxury cars so it surprises me why her narcissist self would think she's higher than them.
It's been a month since I've been out of her life but I informed her our relative lady is gonna come to America via plane flight and fyi she has a nice job there where she currently is and you're not higher than her.

I am very much needdding a "reowlity check" if you do not mind. I, Gus (8M, most hambsome tuxedo), noticed that my Man and my Lady had gone into the den with their dinnur. WELL What could be their dinnur? It is Sunday and I did not see the usual "let's just have sandwiches" or "you want to order in" activiites. No, they had COOKED SOMETHING!!! So I had to go into the kitchun for an investigate.
Now the Man and Lady can see partly into the kitchun from the den but not all the way, so I was convenieowntly out of their sigt, and so I could also not see them! BUT, this is what I hurd: "He's in the kitchen," "Gus Gus!! Come on in!" "Gus, keep us company!!!" "Poodle doodle [this is a SHAMFUL NAM they call me but in the interestsss of full disclsusre I includ it], what are you doing?" and then "He's very quiet." THEN I hurd my Man makking his way INTO THE KITCHEN and he was saying "Poodle doodle, whatcha doin----" then, this is the disgracful part! HE SPOKE LOUDLY TO ME AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID:
"GET DOWN!!"
Yes, cat reader, he spoke in that tone of voice and he ORDURED ME lik I was a common strayyy! HOW DAR HE! I was SIMPLY doin an investigate, because it terned out that, well, my Lady made herself a veggieburger because oh who knows why she does that, she insists "I feel better," but my MAN had mad himself a HAMBURGER WITH BEEEFFF!! and CHEESEESE! And there was a littul bit of it on a servung plat, on the counter, and I HAD TO INSPECT IT! DID I NOT? I ask you!
I did NOT move, I am not some kind of serf to be ordured arond, excuse me! So.... I can barly say this.... HE LIFTED ME OFF THE COUNTER!!! OH! And he LAUGED at me! At ME! And there was a veiled insinuation of cloaca-dom, which I DENY!!!!!
So I ask you, AITC? Because I do not thimk so!

Imagine a third-tier Ottoman city, accidentally elevated to the status of a national capital, and you have Pristina. Furthermore, that is a pretty good thing! The town is charming, walkable, and has first-rate street and cafe life. There is one good monastery nearby and some quality Brutalist architecture. My favorite site was the National Library of Kosovo:
Here are additional views of the building, is it fair to call it one of the greatest Communist achievements of Yugoslavia? 1982.
Government debt is only about five percent of gdp. I am not sure how accurate is the data, but growth rates are not so bad. The country has about 5k per capita gdp, but about 15k PPP-adjusted, that is a large gap and maybe the truth lies somewhere in between.
Might this be the cheapest country in all of Europe? I had one good meal in a nice restaurant with nice decor for only five euros.
Tiffany served the tastiest and also most representative meal, there is no menu and they simply bring you what they have. The food is in general excellent, though not varied. Be ready for meats, sausage, cheese, tomato, kebab, green and red peppers, and bread. There is pasta too, but few other foreign offerings. I didn’t see any Asian food whatsoever, or any international fast food chains, or any Starbucks.
Throughout the town you find scattered statues, such as the obligatory Mother Teresa, and the others of very masculine heroes, often labeled explicitly as “heroes.” The quotient for sexual dimorphism is reasonably high.
It is quite safe, so more people should visit. In three days I saw zero tourists. It is not a “thrills destination,” but where else can you ponder all the historical reasons why, for so long, a “Greater Albania” has proven impossible?
Cheat sheet of neighboring countries:
Serbia: Feels imperial, “seen better days,” no longer a transport hub, looks toward Moscow.
North Macedonia: Stands a bit apart, closer to Bulgarian culture, less recent historical trauma, more right-wing and pro-U.S., keen to integrate with the West.
Albania: Tenacious, spent decades lost in the wilderness, never been able to “play its hand” on that Greater Albania thing, did it ever recover from the fall of Venetian Albania?
Few parts of the world are more interesting, or unsettling. All of these are great countries to visit.
The post Pristina notes appeared first on Marginal REVOLUTION.

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So I posted this Sat in relationships, but was politely told thats not where it belongs. I dont post often, so I'm not always up to date with the rules and formatting and whatnot. I originally drafted for IG, as I have less interaction there and FB has the subject and mutual friends on there and I didnt want to stir up anything or have anyone figuring out who.
For about a year, I've been secretly/discreetly seeing a man I've worked with and been friends with for a very long time. He started flirting with me about 6 months post break up from a woman that I don't know, but have come to understand told him to get out in the middle of the night with his two teenage/high school daughters. I've come to care for him very much, but he was always not quite ready to pursue something more real and public with me, as he said he was still healing from that incident. Recently he drew back from what we have been doing by a lot after I voiced how hard this is not being able to share my emotions and stuff about our situationship, by then saying it was unfair for me to be keeping this secret. However about a week later, he was still expressing a strong desire for intimacy with me and I partially caved/partially set a boundary, opting for only intimately charged text conversations only and in person physical only if a real date occured first, to which he agreed. Fast forward to last week, he's dealing with self esteem and crisis that I never got full details of, only that it was brought to his attention how badly his past relationships really were to him. He said he was done being used, and denied that I ever made him feel that way when I asked. I tried to help reassure him of what a good person he was, to stay true to his nature and healing didnt mean he had to become the bad guy when he indicated he was tired of being the good guy. Yesterday I was informed that he had met someone, that he was sorry, and he couldn't not tell me. I called, confronted, and learned he was back with his ex-girlfriend. It's not fair, and I can't understand, but its also out of my control. I don't want everyone telling me what an asshole he is, I don't want anyone telling me I'm better off. I just can't stay silent of my feelings for my own mental health. I don't want anyone attacking him either, so he will remain anonymous to anyone who doesn't already know or can't figure it out. I just feel shitty, and wanted to express why for anyone that doednt know why, because if I try to talk it out I will be crying and im tired of crying, even though I know I still will be.
TL;DR- Dude I've been secretly seeing about a year decided to let me know he's getting back with ex that kicked him out with kids in tow in the middle of the night and I'm not willing to subject him to harassment.

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My girlfriend and I have been together for more than 5 years. I love her and want to do better for her. But recently I have not been worth much. We got into an argument that led to someone calling the cops. I didn't hurt her and she didn't want to press charges but I got taken to jail anyway. While I sat there for a month I lost my job, my car's catalytic converter was stolen, and a month prior my best friend of 13 years died. She let me come back even though I had nothing. I have been trying to get a job but I have a record. On top of things my social security card is missing. I want to just blow my brains out. We are fighting again. It seems like there is constantly tension. idk what to do. Part of me wants to leave and be homeless. There other part wants to do better and help her but we are becoming so toxic. Should I stay or just go?

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The most 38-year-old people alive are back with another thrilling season of rewatching a very good show that began twenty years ago, when we were voting weird old New England Dracula, John Kerry. Transitioning from closer to starter like a reverse John Smoltz, Vince and Matt’s guest for season three episode one of The Wire, “Time After Time” is writer, podcaster, and Defector capo, David J. Roth.
 
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-Description by Brent Flyberg

I, 13f and my mother 53f have only been seeing each other every Monday after my father 51m and her split up due to her being a alcoholic.
Last year my mother started drinking 24/7 and not doing anything to help my father and I around the house. Instead i had to care for my 52yr old mother after school as a 12yr old. There where times where my mother abused me over little things like me not giving her the TV remote. So her solution to this was she would start hitting me pinching digging her nails into my skin and kicking me over a remote. She would also keep me up till 4am on a school night most night because she misplaced her phone she she verbally abused me.
Not long after all this happen in January 2022 by April that same year my father and I where done. One night after dad got home I told him what happened on the car ride to school and how she dug her nails in to my skin so hard that it left a decently size scar on my hand. He told my mother she needed to leave and not come back the last thing she said to me for months was "you're lying, you're a liar I f**king hate you"
After all this occurred I ended up falling into a deep depression at 12. I started realizing how much I missed the little moments of when she was sober and not hiding in her room. I realized I missed watching a show I thought i hated.
For months I blamed myself for everything she did and during this I was also being cyber bullied and being called fat. I'm not skinny nor over weight. I started developing body image issues so I started to eat less and less and couldn't look in my mirror without crying and repeated words in my head that my mother said to me. "I hope you die" "I wish I never had you" " I never want to hear you and see you again" Around November 29th I started getting better and got a procedure done that I was needing and had my birthday dad put me into a theapist after I told him what I was going through. I went to that theapist twice the first session I got to vent the second she said your fine don't come back. Fast forward to March 2023 I'm struggling again the theapist I saw comes to my school every Thursday I avoid her because I get this horrible gut wrenching feeling everytime I think about her or see her. March 3rd I sh for the first time my depression was getting bad again my pops dementia had made him go downhill again and I had been seeing my mum again since November 26th. It's now June 4th and my mum keeps nagging me to see her more than once to 3 times a week my dad says it's up to me and that I owe her nothing. I don't want to see her more than I already do I feel it's enough at this point but she was me to see her more am I in the wrong?

The four famous clans of Amadahai, its ladies and their sons, gathered together in the common hall of what people knew as "the palatial district". The core of the palace had overgrown the square, ring-like shape as new additions were built along the perimeter through the years. The symmetry of the structure was broken to accomodate the growing clans – and their growing entourage.
Half of the morning had already gone by, but the common hall was lit with oil candles and the glow of a central brazier: the sky outside was flat and grey, and whichever light filtered from the courtyard and the high windows on the outer walls of the palace were not enough to illuminate the faces of the clanpeople. They had taken their places on the ground, each kneeling on a soft cushion filled with cattail fluff, and would go on discussing as the morning went on.
The neighbouring village, Pabarha by the pond-of-many-lotuses, had refused to repay their debt. Two years before, the clans of Amadahai had come to their aid and provided them with plentiful rôdo in times of need; when the time came to hold their part of the bargain, however, they sent an empty-handed emissary with words of regret, conveying their intention to break the contract.
The youngest of the mothers present unfurled a thin stretch of birchbark where the two parties had impressed their promises, marked by five symbols. On top, was the picture of an empty granary, Pabarha's most pressing issue at the time. Below, their two choices: an empty granary and a farmhand working the fields or a full granary and a man at rest. At the bottom, two sigils representing the two parties participating in the exchange: the lotuses that gave their name to Pabarha, the village of the perjurers, and a bull atop a pecan tree, mythical symbol of Amadahai.
"When I drew those symbols," The matriarch said, as she passed the scroll around for all to see, "The terms of our exchange were no less clear than they are today. We saved Pabarha from a failed harvest: in return they had to either return the rôdo as soon as they could or would provide a number of farmhands to our city, for the entire period of their indebtedness." It was a fair exchange and, for a time, Pabarha had consented.
The farmhands were sent to Amadahai and they had soon proved themselves to be a profitable investment. They lived in wooden houses appositely built near the paddies and returned to their village every half moon to visit their wives and their families. That arrangement had continued for little more than a year. "The farmhands left four days ago and have not returned to their work – instead, what do we find? A young emissary has come in their stead, demanding Pabarha be allowed to forego her promises." The birchbark sheet had made the rounds amongst the reunited clanpeople and returned to her. "I ask the other mothers leave."
They women silently consented and the youngest, the writer of the contract, threw the birchbark onto the brazier. The mothers had forfeited their right to be a part of that conversation and, from then on, it would be the sons, not the mothers, to hold the first and last word. The clan had no other choice: promises had been forgotten, debts had not been repaid and that intricate tangle of promises, favours, debts and credits could be put in grave danger by such a simple refusal.
It did not happen often that the men gathered inside the high house took decisions without words of approval or lamentations from the elder women of the clans. It had never happened for Cebecajamân, a man who had not lived through his sixteenth year of age and was only recently invited to sit at the councils as one of the leaders nephews. He sat straight and looked around him as the tower of smoke emitted from the burning birchbark dissolved before them. Wordlessly, the women left the room.
For a moment, the men remained silent, reflecting on the weight of that moment – that meant war was the next solution, the only solution. Phazjedjei, Cebecajamân's uncle took his stick and his pipe, which was hidden in a pouch tied under his cape, and began smoking. The others followed his example. Six men, three uncles and three nephews, reflected and smoked. There would be a precise order to how they would speak and, as the youngest man admitted to that assembly, Cebecajamân would go first.
He cleared his throat – the pipe was still a little too much for him – and gathered the courage to speak: "Does... does that means we will have to kill them?"
_____
There were few places kinder than Amadahai on a spring morning. The sun would tickle the surface of the lake, then rise high – but never too hot – to the top of the sky. Those were the sweetest hours: the bright light streamed in like metal from Kamābarha, the same brassy copper that covered the points of Cebecajamân's arrows.
He was counting them, one by one, making sure his quiver was full and none of his precious arrows had been lost since his last tally. Most of the other men in his band would have stone arrowheads, others red copper, but that fine orange-gold one was destined only for Cebecajamân and the other clan-men, their leaders. No arrow was missing, so he took his quiver of woven cattail stalks, his bow and walked to meet the other men. As he passed under the passion fruit tree outside his home, he marvelled at the irony of life: preparing an attack as nature bloomed so beautifully.
He met them at the edge of the city, beyond the mound, where the groves began. Saying "a full unit of men" was something, but seeing them in person, each with his own quiver and bow, each with a straw, padded coat, was rather impressive. He greeted them with respect as he walked over the field to join the other members of his clan. There were three leaders for the attack, Cebecajamân was the youngest, but by far the best shot; then, there was Jajabadojôho, his cousin who was very quick and nimble, and Ineme, a young uncle who belonged to their same generation and who was well respected by the other men. He knew very little of the other men. There were some minor clanmen, children of true clanmen who had no claim to leadership: they often were better warriors, as they had much spare time and filled their days with pigeon hunts and competitions – Cebecajamân, was very envious about that; then, there were young men from the city: the son of the fisherman, the nephew of the butcher, the cousin of the man who sold the best preserves at the market; the rest were farmers who normally tended orchards or paddies and had been called to lend their bows to fight for the honour of their leaders. The best amongst them had been selected, and a hundred forty four good men would be more than enough to put a stop to Pabarha's defiance and dishonesty. As their Kabaima brought them pouches filled with crabapple sâna, the first spring wine, the three discussed the possibilities of a true battle.
"They are going to surrender immediately." Ineme said. There was no sign of worry or doubt on his face. He cocked an arrow absent mindedly as he spoke. "Then, we will either take the grain we need or bring them to the mothers and make a new contract." Swoosh! The arrow hit the the tree before them, which had been coloured with ochre to mark the height of a man. If that tree was a man, Ineme had hit his shoulder.
"I don't know, Ineme," Said Jajabadojôho, "They have the men, and the village is marshy all around and protected, on a hill."
"They do not have the number Cijajabo, and, considering they are not sending the grain they owe, they must be in dire straits – mother said so."
"Even then, they are proud people. They will not surrender without a fight. Cicebe," He said, turning towards the youngest, whose thoughts were rushin in hundreds of different directions and had been very quiet until that moment. "What do you think?"
He looked at his cousin, unsure about what he would say. Something strange and horrible was happening inside of Cebecajamân. Half of his soul dreaded the impending battle, and hoped that the young man facing them, from above the hill, would see how many they were and set down their weapons; his other half, however, had an ardent desire to be tested, to win, to prove himself before the mothers. He was a good shot – a great shot, in fact – and would stop at nothing in the face of danger. He wanted to fight, he wanted to stop his enemies from fooling the mothers of his clan – was that a bad thing? They said men were more impulsive than women, Always ready to fight rather than to discuss, and that the way of the mothers was the most virtuous. But Cebecajamân was a man, and there was little he could do about it.
He cocked his brass arrow and shot it across the field to hit the same tree his uncle had hit before him. His arrow burrowed into the wood just above the other one, where Ineme had intended to hit: the middle of the man-tree's head.
"Either way, I'm ready."
_____
They attacked immediately after sundown. They moved silently through the forest first, getting more and more quiet as the presence of the city became more noticeable. As they hid in the forest waiting for the right moment to strike, hearing the low voices of the Pabarhans, smelling the smoke of their fires, the fragrances of their dinners, Cebecajamân's heart pounded like never before.
"The heart of the fearful and a pigeon by the river..."
The battle ended before it could become too bloody, but Cebecajamân killed his first man that night. He would remember that blood he spilled forever, necessary blood, to remind everyone of the honour of his house, the honour of the promises the famous clans of Amadahai presided over – an honour he'd defend until his last day.

I was raised as a JW (Jehovah’s Witness)and left when I was 17. I returned when I was 24 last year.
When I (25F) returned, I befriended a male (29M) with zero intention of us becoming anything more than friendship. One night I didn’t want to go home and he invited me over. We had a too many drinks and ended up sleeping together. After this we went from 0 to 100 real quick. My toothbrush was at his house sanitary pads was at his house and we were spending almost every night together. This was a complete accident and so unexpected, but he treated me so well, I couldn’t help catch feelings.
Now there is another girl in our congregation (24F), who I was friends with as a young adolescent, and she too fancies him. I saw her pop-up on his phone multiple times and chose to ignore it until I caught feelings. At this point. I asked if they were speaking on level and he said yes. Because we hadn’t established anything, I couldn’t be angry over it. I told him that it’s fine. I gave him a hug and I left. He kept messaging me telling me that he missed me so I went back to him and again, we went from 0 to 100. A couple of weeks later, I noticed her on his laptop iMessage and read a few messages. When i’d asked him to shut it down after we had “gotten back together”, he told her that he had stuff going on, and hopefully it would change in the future. This time I was hurt that he’d given her hope, so I raised my voice and I left.
Two months went by with 0 contact. He tried messaging me three times but I stood firm.
I was out with family one night, I had one drink too many, and found myself outside his house with no way to get home. I stayed there that night and then again we was back on. My toothbrush never left his bathroom and neither did my sanitary pads. I guess I felt special he hadn’t gotten rid of them, but I also understand that men can be lazy LOL.
Now it’s been maybe three weeks since we’ve been back on, and I’m seeing this woman pop-up constantly. He told me before that he didn’t have feelings for her and that he felt bad and didn’t know how to shut her down. Obviously we are not public because we shouldn’t be having sex or even dating without chaperones. So this woman doesn’t know about me.
Other than her, everything has been amazing. He treats me so well, I have the password to his phone, he gives me the keys to his place when he goes off to work, we go on dates and we’ve even taken my child out together. He behaves in the way that I feel a husband should toward his wife. We’ve just spent the long weekend together and I told him that I felt the need to remove certain males from my life that I knew had feelings for me because I felt like I was being disrespectful to him and I wouldn’t like it the other way round. While I was talking, she popped up on his phone and we discussed her. I explained to him that she had become a trigger and that I couldn’t even look at her, see her name or face without feeling serious angst. I must also disclose that I do suffer from anxiety. So I understand that my insecurities play a part in this and I would never want to pressure or force his hand in any way. He told me they hadn’t kissed or done anything in any sexual way, but she still continues to message him and call him constantly. He then asked me to give him some time to slowly cut her off because we are all in the same congregation and he didn’t want it to be awkward. I said OK. Over the course of the long weekend, I must’ve seen her name at least six times. The third time she called, I suggested he answer and she seemed moody that he hadn’t attended something that she had attended. The phone call didn’t last very long because he was busy and he said he will call her back (he didn’t). From the minute I saw her name, my heart started beating out of my chest. When she had called earlier that morning, I felt a similar way and chose to sleep it off. This time I couldn’t and the anxiety wasn’t going away. We were quiet with each other for a couple of hours because he could sense how was feeling and in the night we spoke. He reminded me that he had asked for time and I told him I couldn’t help how I felt. I don’t want to and never will pressure somebody to do something they aren’t comfortable with. He said that he likes me a lot and that he wants this (whatever this is) even though we haven’t established a label.
I guess I just want to know if it’s worth going through this stress. I don’t want to look like a mug or be mugged off. I’ve already lost two stone in eight months unintentionally due to stress. They are both baptised so we are all terrible JWs and perfect sinners. I’m still establishing my place in the religion and if I choose that it is for me, I wouldn’t be having sex with him anymore unless we took that big step (which he agreed would be a good idea). I guess I feel like she is an easy option as they are both baptised and can date without complaints from the congregation. She is also a single parent. She’s very quiet in comparison to me as I do have a big character and can be very opinionated. I stand up for what I think is right and I protect the ones I love most without hesitation. He says he likes that about me and that he’s proud of me because no matter the obstacles I’m currently facing, I’m still trying to better myself and be the best version of myself.
I guess I just want to know if my insecurities are the problem or if I’m being mugged off and lied to. It doesn’t help that almost all of my previous partners have all cheated on me in one form or another. Again, I really do not want to project my insecurities. I do believe that if we were public I wouldn’t feel this way. But because it’s a secret in the congregation, it’s making things quite difficult.
What do I do?
Please do not share your religious values or crap on ours. We are all human and we are all imperfect. And remember it’s nice to be nice x Thank you

I feel like this is a very stupid question for me to ask, but this might as well be considered a vent:
I'm a trans man, but I am not on T or had any surgery. I own a binder, but I do not wear it all the time. My hair unfortunately is growing longer when I have been cutting it short wayy before I have came out to those around me. My natural facial hair is there but not a full stache. At work, I have expressed my preference in pronoun usage and have expressed that I am trans (sorry trying to keep things vague for anonymous reasons).
Only a few coworkers bother to refer to me as he/him because I thought it would be better for my first day at work to go by they/them so it wouldn't cause any problems. I use the women's restroom at work because there's no individual restrooms or family restrooms (I use those when I'm in public.. it's embarrassing to use a family restroom but I feel safer in there). A coworker of mine was very shocked when she saw me in the women's restroom. She asked me why am I using the women's restroom and I said.. to use the restroom?
After some work talk and her mentioning that I had a binder on which is rare for me to wear mine but she assumed it was my first time. Man that thing is uncomfortable to wear at work I'm sweating like crazy in it. but.. it made me think about how someone like me who barely anyone sees me as a man, which is very annoying but I cannot blame them. I am unfortunately born this way, but I do not simply feel like doing anything about my appearance more than I already do. I cannot help but look into the mirror and see that I'm very masculine. I used to hate myself for it because everyone around me wanted me to be more feminine and I would just submit, but now I've grown more comfortable seeing myself as a man with that label that I am a man.
What would happen if I walked into the men's restroom with my long hair and whatever makes people call me a girl? Do I have to change my appearance even more? I have this thought in my head that I shouldn't have to change my appearance, but I also am noticing how people just cannot see me as a man. I'm dedicated to being labelled a male, I am not really questioning that. I'm questioning if I should change myself to fit in with what people think a man is which I do not understand the concept of as is?
In summary: I am a trans man, but people see me as a girl. Is it okay for me to use the men's restroom even though I look like a girl or should I consider changing myself to fit people's view of a man?

Hello all, I'm (22m) very inexperienced in romantic relationships. 2 years ago I had a situationship with a Japanese woman much older than me (39f). I'm mexican American who dated a woman who was in her 5th year in the country. I was extremely infatuated by her beauty and her body at first, it is what gave me the courage to talk to her at the gym where we would see eachother daily.
Things went really well but there were red flags I didn't notice. When we went out she wanted to avoid labels like "date" and played dumb by asking me what a date was, she also once called me a friend even though there was clear lust, attraction, and flirting going on. This was an early sign of emotional unavailablity or a fear of commitment. I wanted something serious with her.
Because I have low self esteem the affection and support she gave me to improve myself was deeply fulfilling and I didn't want this to just be a casual thing. On our first "date" we played pool and bowling then drank and she got seductive with me after I flirted with her and made intense eye contact. She wrapped her legs around one of mine. I was feeling nervous because I was feeling things I never felt for a woman before. I asked her to be my gf and she said no which kind of ruined the moment.
I asked because at the time I believed sex should only be between a couple. I still believe that to an extent but since I've matured I realized my need for regular physical and sexual intimacy. After this I made it my mission to conquer her heart which I accomplished, I won her over with my determination, and genuine interest in her, because of the value she added to my life i wanted to give her the world. I could not tell at the time how hard it was for her to open up her heart to me most likely due to previous relationship trauma. I should add that she felt like she wouldn't be good for a relationship, I was blindly shocked because of how charming and sexy she was, I found out that she has a promiscuous past and now present through my own unfortunate research which made me understand her comment. I believe her promiscuous lifestyle is due to trauma and low self worth which has made her fearful of real relationships and getting hurt again.
The reason for this post is because I have been thinking about some behaviors she exhibited that I never got closure on. Back to what I mentioned about sex, although I did win her heart I still didn't initiate sex because the label of bf/gf wasn't there, there were plenty of times we were very close to devouring eachother but I stopped it due to this belief.
As we got closer emotionally, our new semester began and she started to pull away. From the start she was secretive about her life, told me she didn't have social media (I discovered all her accounts after we were done), refused to show me pictures of how she looked like younger. A few weeks into the semester she said she would have to leave the gym every day early to go to a daily seminar at her college (yes she said it was EVERY SINGLE DAY and I believed her). She lied about a lot of other aspects of her life but I learned this is common in emotionally unavailable women.
About a month later she was late once to a workout session we planned and I had to leave due to class before we could do anything, this wouldn't have been a problem for me but the way she explained herself was weird. She told me she was doing a project for school (we were both in college at that time, her for masters me for bachelors), by her body language and tone I felt something wasn't right so I tried getting more information which she had no answer to, she couldn't even tell me for what class it was for or what the content was, then just said "its okay its okay", while gesturing for me to leave her alone.i began to feel insecure so I passive aggressively said that I better see her on time next time. I first attributed her behavior to feeling ashamed of being late since in her culture timeliness is important and missing out on a intimate moment with me but I am now thinking that was copium.
The following days I noticed her acting strange like if she was ashamed of something or herself. She was emotionally distant to me which cut me off guard because before this she was beginning to be truly vulnerable to me about her upbringing and wanted to introduce me to one of her friends. I blamed everything on myself because of my passive-agressive comment and my persistence to make her open up when she expressed before she struggles with emotions. I tried getting her to open up so we could talk, she wouldn't and it looked like I was making her uncomfortable when i did. It drove me crazy but I never lashed out but got more anxious, she then stonewalled me, leaving the gym with me chasing her trying to fix things. I tried desperately to find ways online on how to deal the situation with her specific personality type. She apologized through text for not being able to "reply to my desire" and then asked me to leave her alone for the rest of the semester. Due to the size of this post I won't go into the details of the breakup so comment down below if there's any interest of one. After we broke up I attributed this distant behavior to her being emotional unavailable for so long and her needing space to get used to receiving my unconditional love. If this was the case i wish communication could've been better so I would've been much more understanding and patient. However if this was due to her feeling ashamed of cheating on me then my feelings on the matter change.
Recently I've been seeing a lot of reddit stories on tik tok about cheating and infidelity and when I see posts about signs that someone is cheating I tend to overthink, a lot of comments on these posts say that a woman is really good at hiding her affairs and some reddit stories are really gut wrenching. The answer might hurt me but I want to stop my overthinking because I don't want to hurt myself with these thoughts if they didn't actually happen.
I understand I exhibited immature behaviours, I am very hard on myself for these mistakes which is why I haven't moved on after 2 years. I learned not to be too hard on myself since I didn't know better and it was my first relationship where I was truly in love.
TL;DR- I suspect my ex cheated on me but I am not able to conclude due to lack of closure, copium and inexperience in romantic relationships. Thoughts or wisdom?

I have been great success wise. However. My alcohol has caught up.
I have been avoiding the inevitable and I've started hiding my drinking. My fiance told me he knows and is worried about me. He thinks that I've driven drunk. I haven't, but I get upset about the worry even if it is justified.
I know if I keep on this path that I will lose my fiance, I'll lose my home, and I will ultimately lose my career.
Now, this would be a time in the future. But the more I drink the closer that gets. I don't even want to have a game night, a concert, a beach day, without drinking lately.
Some days I just KNOW I'm getting drunk. Who cares if it's Thursday I'll just call it in. I've had these conversations with my fiance and every month there's a flub on my part. (Drinking on a Sunday, waking up late). I want to better my relationship with alcohol, because I can, and have, had fun just having one. But good lord. I think it's time to completely quit. I just don't know how. I go a week or two and feel like it's time to celebrate. To be fair, I have alot to celebrate with my accomplishments. And people want to celebrate them.
What do I do.
(I'm posting this in another sub)

Before my story starts, I want to give a trigger warning for suicide and self harm, as well as stalking and harassment. Please don't read any further if these are things which upset you or cause you any discomfort. With that being said, do not EVER, under any circumstances, act the way I do in this story and please get help if you have even the smallest compulsion of obsession. You can recover and get the help you need.
I was in my early 20's, struggling with clinical suicidal depression for over a decade. A friend of mine had been with this girl for about a year, but their relationship was rocky pretty much the whole way through. I was supportive to both of them as a friend during their relationship troubles, but always put my boy first. Always encouraged her to weather the storm. Eventually she did the best thing for herself and ended the relationship. I was supportive of both of them, but pretty much cut off all contact with the girl.
Six months pass, and I randomly get a text from the girl about getting a piercing and sent a picture to show it off. She mentioned that she pretty much sent it to me because she didn't have any friends to talk to about getting the piercing, and figured I'd be cool to talk about it. At the time, a video game had just come out that was super grind-heavy, and told her that she could call if she wanted to chat since I could use the company during the monotony. So she called. We chatted for like five hours, just shooting the shit. Nothing major, just catching up since we hadn't talked in a long time. This evolved into her coming over to my place every day for a week or two in which we would be having dinner, watching movies, having deep and lighthearted conversations before I realized that I'd caught feelings for her.
I was really conflicted. This was my best friend's ex. I had asked him early on about if he was cool with us talking or hanging out despite them not being in a relationship anymore. He was supportive, and was like "You don't gotta worry about that, man. She was your friend when she was my ex. You don't gotta worry about talking to her." But I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk to her about my feelings without telling him first. I called him up and asked him to come over for dinner and drinks.
After we'd finished eating, I pretty much brought him up to speed. He was definitely not comfortable with hearing the news, but he wasn't violent or anything. He pretty much told me that it wasn't up to him and that it was out of his control. I remember him saying "If you two get together, you better last." I tried explaining to him that it wasn't planned, that it just happened organically, but that obviously didn't make him feel any better about it. He said he didn't want to be involved in anything going forward and that whatever happens happens. We ended up going through a pretty bad falling out after he found out about the relationship formed. I've never spoken to him since.
Anyway, the next day, the girl came over to watch a movie like usual. After the movie was over, I told her about my feelings. She wasn't really all that receptive and kind of went silent. We didn't talk all that much before she went home. She told me over text later on in the middle of the night that she felt weird, because she just wanted us to be friends. I felt pretty defeated inside, but understood. I told her that we could keep calling or hanging out and we'd just be buds. Everything went pretty much back to normal after that.
That is, until a couple days later. She had been frantically texting me from the hospital. She was having suicidal thoughts and was afraid of being a harm to herself. She was possibly going to be committed to the psychiatric ward, and when that possibility arose, and she knew she wouldn't be able to talk to me, she went into a panic. I told her that she would be okay, and that I'd be here for her when she got out if that was the case. She then said that they were about to confiscate her phone for a psych screening, and that afterwards they would evaluate whether or not to commit her, but that she had a final message. It went something along the lines of "Hey. Umm. I don't know how to say this. But I love you. But I don't know how I mean it." I said that I loved her too, and to be strong.
In my head, I figured this to be her reciprocating the feelings that I had for her. I was excited but also somewhat uneasy inside because I didn't know for sure. I was super tired at the time, and texted her to call me and wake me up if she wasn't getting committed. After thinking about it a while, I went for a nap. I was woken up by a text saying "Guess who's about to get woke the fuck up, beeitch?" and a phone call.
She had just gotten home. We pretty much went over the events at the hospital, and then I asked about the whole "I love you" thing. She said that she didn't know what it meant but that she felt the need to tell me. I was flirtatiously telling her that if she loves me, to say it over the phone. She was saying that she was too shy. I told her that she said it over text, she can say it out loud too. She eventually said it, and I said that I love her too. She kept saying it. Over and over. We must have said it to each other repeatedly for twenty minutes. The floodgates of emotions were let loose.
I was really happy. After being depressed for so long, I felt such a crazy amount of dopamine that I was ecstatic. She had mentioned so much to me in the following weeks, like how she always had thought of me as being the emotional buffer throughout her relationship with my best friend, and wished that she was in a relationship with me instead. The relationship was fun. We had lots of fun in the moment. This went on for about two months before I noticed a change.
She started being super distant. She wouldn't text me during work. She didn't want to come over for movies or talk on the phone anymore. She spent more and more time on her own. I started becoming an emotional wreck. I was being super clingy. She tried to tell me that she regretted telling me that she loved me, and that she wasn't thinking clearly when it happened. That she felt like I had pressured her into thinking that she meant "I love you" in a romantic way rather than platonic. I responded to it really poorly. I pressured her into continuing the relationship despite her not wanting it. This happened two more times in the coming weeks before we had finally broken up.
I was doing absolutely despicable things. I was stalking every interaction she had on social media (multiple sites). I was sending videos of me taking a ridiculous amount of Xanax. I was sending her pictures of empty prescription bottles. I was telling her that I was going to kill myself. I was trying everything I possibly could think of in my sick, twisted mind to get her to come back. The worst thing I did was send her a video of me taking about 20mg of Xanax with the caption "Dunno if I'll wake up from this lol." She had texted me probably 50 times while I was passed out and she was at class. Most of them were "Please be alive." She even said "I love you" like five times in desperation to get a response. I woke up and told her that I wish she hadn't said that because I knew it wasn't true.
Eventually she told me that she couldn't talk to me anymore and that if I died because of it, that it wasn't her fault. And when she did, I started messaging her on everything I could think of and telling her how much I loved her. How I didn't think anything but her and how perfect she was. How I didn't understand how she lost feelings for me because I did everything right. Begging her for an answer. Refusing every answer she gave me of being the truth.
I was so mentally unwell. I had romanticized both my depression and her inside my head beyond reality. She wasn't a human being. She was an angel that would rescue me from the darkness that I'd been stuck in for so long. After I was blocked from every social media account she had, as well as being unable to text or call her due to her changing her phone number, I was finally forced to face the truth. I was an absolute disaster of a person. I was burning myself with cigarettes, cutting myself with steak knives with the intention of leaving large scars, and hiding it all from everyone I knew. I went to therapy with the delusion of being reassured that I did nothing wrong in this whole situation.
My therapist was a godsend. He taught me about how awful of a person I was being and helped show me how sick I was. It took months of work for me to even realize how disgusting I was. I was completely delusional. I felt so bad. I was still obsessed with stalking her on social media, and I reached out on a burner account to apologize for everything I did. It was such a shitty apology, too.
She was receptive, but in retrospect I'm pretty sure she was only responding to me because she wanted to leave me with the idea that we were cool to avoid me reaching out in hysterics again. I even tried to manipulate myself back into her life by asking for her to introduce me to some new friends she had made that have similar interests to us. She politely declined and said that they'd definitely not like me after she'd confided in them about the trauma I'd caused her. She also told me to please never contact her again. I told her that would definitely be best. So I never did. And I stopped checking her social media.
I rarely think of her anymore, but the thing that I struggle with whenever I do, is that the way I acted and the trauma I caused this human being to be two of the biggest regrets of my life. The fact that I won't ever be able to truly apologize to this person for the rest of my life is incredibly difficult. I can't take any of the things I did back. I can't ever remove that trauma from her life. I've also kept this all a secret from my current girlfriend of six and a half years who I am in a wonderful, loving and mature relationship with. We plan on getting married and having kids within the next year. This secret is something I plan on taking to the grave.
I'm a completely different person than I was at that time in my life. But despite everything, I learned of every single toxic trait I had. And I learned to never, ever repeat any of the things I had done ever again. I learned so much about myself through years of therapy and that I was a powder keg of mental instability. My girlfriend would probably never think in a million years that I would have been capable of doing the things I'm admitting in this post.
I just wish it was possible for me to apologize to her for everything I'd done, and let her know that I wish her nothing but the best. I'd like to know that she's happy. Because she deserves it after everything I put her through. It's selfish, because it would make ME feel better. The best thing for this person is to probably go the rest of her life without ever hearing from me again, anyway. But I really do hope that they're happy out there somewhere.

Has anyone else seen this movie? It's sort of like The Matrix but kinda better, imo. It's based on a book called Simulacron-3 which I admittedly have never read (on my list, though). I don't think this movie got nearly enough attention and is now one of my favorite movies right up there with The Matrix and Dark City.

"Ikn ultro irthir tairais."
I focused on what looked like a meeting room, the sounds of busy Humans reached my ears.
"I can hear their chatter." I said. "For the next twenty minutes, as long as I maintain my concentration, I will hear them."
I let my body relax, focusing on the words, letting them flow through my mind. "I can hear them talking about us, complaints that they got put on 'lizard duty', complaints about how we should have just died off by now. I can hear them talking about me, they are approaching."
The voices grew louder, chairs being moved, the creaking as they sat down, the door sliding shut.
"You all know why we're here." A gruff voice spoke. There was a shuffling of papers. I spoke the words as I heard them. "What the fuck do we do about these goddamn lizards?"
They muttered among themselves, uncertainty, fear."
"More importantly." Another voice spoke. "What do we do about the bulletproof motherfucker? They've got fucking magic that stops a bullet, magic that chases you down and blows your fucking head clean off- I watched as my buddies got killed by those freaks of nature."
"Kobolds." Another, softer feminine voice spoke. "Always chaotic evil creatures, looked them up myself." Another voice spoke. "Based on what the lab coats say, anyone who gets turned into one gradually becomes more like them in mindset and morality. Now, I'm just a humble player, and part of me's fuckin' ecstatic over the fact that one of my favorite games're real-"
"Get to the point." The gruff voice spoke.
"We're disconnected." The softer voice spoke. "Everything we know about the universe is a lie, and as sure as God is my witness, I'm pretty sure this problem of ours is caused by an evil god named Kurtulmak, the God of Kobolds." The room went silent. "That means they've probably god Clerics working under her, plotting nothing less than the spread of her will."
The room erupted with arguing.
"Quiet down!" Gruff Voice shouted. "Corporal, since you're the expert here, what do you suggest?"
"Well, they're clearly using magic, so it stands to reason they've got enough Clerics and Druids to maintain their food supplies. We can't risk any of our fliers going over the quarantine zone, and launching a nuke is just going to cause problems. With Clerics, they can cure any disease or poison we throw at them, and that's not even going into what happens if any when they go underground. Therefore, I think the only reasonably course of action is tapping into that same power they have."
"How?" The question was simple.
"Well, the existence of certain older mythological deities, such as Bhaal, imply that at some point, there was connection. Maybe the rise of Christianity severed us, maybe it just happened regardless. But considering we're against Kobolds, our best option would be to try and make contact with the God who has a longstanding hatred of them."
The room went silent for several moment, followed by Gruff Voice asking, "Whom, and how do you plan on achieving this?"
"The Gnome God, Garl Glittergold." Soft Voice spoke. "He once nearly wiped them out at the height of their power, and based on the reports, our bulletproof Kobold seems to be at the very least a worshiper of Kurtulmak. As for the how, the only thing I can think of is observing one of his holy days, the Communion of Laughter- he's the jovial kind of deity, you see. I'm thinking, if we can get him to notice this going on, he'll be more curious than not as to why an outlier is suddenly paying homage to him, and we can explain our situation to him."
"Draw attention to a god who hates these 'Kobolds', and get him to do what we can't." Gruff Voice said. "I think it's a long shot, but literally anything is better than nothing. When is this holy day?"
"The thirteenth, sir, about five days away, if we can manage it."
"Corporal Martel, I'm investing in you the authority to set this up. Anything and everything you need. we will get it as quickly as we can. We only have one shot at this-"
"It's every thirteenth, sir." Martel stated.
"What?"
"The Communion of Laughter is held every month on the thirteenth. The best case scenario is it works, we get rid of the problem, and then we can go home. Worst case scenario, we party each month and have a boost in morale."
"Very well. Every thirteenth, we'll try our damnedest to get this guy's attention. Dismissed."
They left as my spell petered out. I shook my head and looked at the others, they were stone-faced.
"Five days, huh?" Nakk said softly.
"Their plan won't work." I said. He looked at me, confusion clear in his eyes. "Part of the deal for letting our Emperor out of the cavern below was his agreement to agree to compromise. Even if they remain enemies, with Bahamut interceding on our behalf, Glittergold won't be able to do a damn thing about us. Either he attacks us, and loses Bahamut's support- especially since he'll be attacking innocent victims of Tiamat's actions- he refuses to attack knowing Bahamut will get on his ass about it, or the more likely scenario, he won't even notice at all."
I paused, thinking for a moment. "That said, we need to ensure everyone is safely underground in the event that Glittergold does attack. The day of the thirteenth, we need everyone evacuated underground to Darastrixthurhi. If Glittergold decides to reenact its destruction, he'll have to contend with the fact that it's underground, surrounded by solid rock, as dug out by the first Kobold who would have already anticipated a second destruction."
"We could just kill them." A Rogue remarked.
"We could, but then we're attacking a potentially devout follower of Garl and that might piss him off even more. I will be convening with our Emperor, and I will be making an effort to bring Bahamut's Temple into this. Nakk, I want you present, we tell them I asked you to provide me the means to spy on our enemy."
Nakk nodded.
A Rogue ran over to us. "Leader, the Council has requested to convene."
"It'll have to wait." Nakk spoke. "Imperator, I will follow your lead."
The Council room was quiet when we entered, Tudru and Kuvli looked annoyed, they were glaring at Galax, who was holding his Holy Symbol in hand and silently uttering a prayer.
"We're all here." Merti stated as Nakk and I sat down.
"We are still missing one person." Galax stated. "He will be here soon."
As if on cue, the door opened and my Emperor strode in. Everyone did a double take, except Galax, who simply opened his eyes and looked at us all. "I have had a vision." He said.
"Not this shit again!" Tudru sighed. He stood up. "I'm not fucking having any more of your religious bullshit, from anyone!"
"Tudru, sit down." I said.
"No! Fuck you, Ruuk! Fuck you, Galax! And especially fuck you-!"
My Emperor grabbed him by the throat as Tudru fronted on him, his eyes blazed with divine fury. "I invite you to calm yourself, Fighter, or your people will need to replace you."
Tudru went silent, all anger replaced by terror.
"The Temple of Bahamut and I have, at present, made amends." I stated. "If your concern, Tudru, was that we were going to be at each other's throats, rest assured any further aggression will take place outside of the town." I looked at Galax. "Do not forget that Galax has had accurate visions in the past, I do not think it would be prudent to ignore him simply because he and I have been fighting."
"It's not just you two." Kuvli stated. "They're too fucking high and mighty for their own good, I still remember what he said. Out of his hands, my ass!"
"That's not even going into the shady shit you've been doing." Tatla said. "Don't think I haven't noticed those Sorcerers going in and out of your Tower like that."
"The same Sorcerers who I found today underneath where we sit, who were gathered around an altar, bleeding on it, so they could summon a Demon for power?" I asked. Everyone- except Tallyn- expressed surprise at this.
"I gave them a simple ultimatum." I continued. "Since they could not be trusted with the interests of the Warren, they could either submit to my Master, and have the oversight they desperately wanted to avoid, or I would kill them." I looked at everyone. "At present, my Master has given them a collar which will choke them if they willingly do anything that will harm the Warren. They fucked around, they found out. This will be the case for any spellcaster who endangers the Warren for personal power."
"Do you hear yourself?" Tudru asked.
"Do you have a better option?" I asked. "If so, I will happily release them."
Nobody said anything. I looked at Galax. "Your vision." I said.
He nodded. "I had a vision." He spoke. "My God had delivered to me a platinum blade, and he spoke. 'This blade is the end of your life. Wield it without hesitation.' And then he was gone, and in his place stood a white dragon, who laid upon my hand a single nugget of gold, and then came forth a black dragon, who did the same, and so it was with a red, green, and blue dragon, until my hand was weighed down by the gold. Yet even as I strove to drop the gold, it had melted into it, forming a golden manacle that was as hard as steel, that chained me to my temple. And it was then, and only then, that the sun was blotted out as if by an eclipse, and our town was destroyed."
"What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?" Tatla asked.
"I know the answer." I said. All eyes were on me. "Nakk, please tell the Council about my request to you."
Nakk nodded. "You asked me to send some of my rogues to infiltrate the enemy's base of operations." He said. "You wanted them to get a good look at the interior, and provide silent images for you."
I nodded. "I cast a spell known as Clairvoyance." I said. "With it, I listened in on their base. They were talking about us, and I'm sorry to report that they don't even see us as former citizens, just evil creatures that need exterminated."
I paused, letting everyone come to terms with that.
"How does this relate to the vision?" My Emperor asked.
"I overheard a meeting. One of their own has a plan to, on the thirteenth of this month-" My Emperor's eyes widened, he instantly knew. "-to perform a ritual known as the Communion of Laughter, one that venerates the Gnome God, Garl Glittergold, who destroyed Darastrixthurhi countless ages ago. The thirteenth is five days away."
"It is likely to work." My Emperor said. "But I have learned from that time, I have reinforced my rebuilt fortress, there is solid earth between it and the surface, even then, it is already beneath a mountain. I am certain, should he come, we will survive."
"Bringing in an entire fucking god?" Tudru asked.
"While you remain safe underground, I will confront Garl alone." My Emperor spoke. "Even if he seeks to kill me, so long as I have one faithful remaining, I will not die."
"I'm sorry, Master." I said. "I am not letting you be alone." He looked at me. "Order me as you wish, I have already disobeyed a God to stand at your side."
"I will go too." Galax spoke. "Garl Glittergold will have to contend with the reality that the faithful of Bahamut is willing to stand beside a foe, for we are innocent victims of a cruel mistress."
I looked at the rest of the Council. "The rest of you, please do what you can to ensure the safety of the people. Everything I have done has been for them, I refuse to let them die."
"How can we trust this isn't some sort of trick?" Tudru asked.
"Zone of Truth." I said. "But at this point, since you clearly don't trust us, you'll find a reason as to why we couldn't possibly be telling the truth."
The room was tense.
I could no longer count on Tudru having my back, Kuvli might still have some regard for us. Nakk was on my side, certainly-
"I will." Kuvli spoke. "Five days will prove whether or not they're telling the truth. We continue as normal, and when it's time to go underground, we will."
"Tell us something, Ruuk." Tudru said. "And be honest with us. Have you ever at any point harbored any desire to take over?"
"Clarify the question, please." I said.
"So, you deny it?"
"Clarify the question." I stated.
He paused for a moment. "Have you, at any point, made any efforts behind the Council's back to establish a different form of government?"
"It is my will, that this land one day bears witness to my Empire." My Emperor spoke.
"I'm talking to-"
"And I am answering!" My Emperor snapped. "Just as Bahamut would wish for a nation that holds true to his ideals, who serve him faithfully, so too do I. Under my command, Ruuk lays down the foundation necessary to- if this Council either falls, or deigns to relinquish power- take command. I have named him my Imperator, my faithful call him such. He still clings stubbornly to the necessity of this Council."
"No matter how many times it's brought up, I'm still going to say no." I said in the most exhausted voice I could muster.
"There have been an increase in dissatisfaction with us doing our job..." Kalith spoke. "What is stopping them from simply tossing our authority- such as it is- aside and establishing something else?" He looked at the others. "If it comes to such, I will take up that responsibility."
At first, I was confused as to why he was doing that. I was the Imperator, but then I saw the glares directed at him.
'Merti, Tatla, Galax, and Tallyn.' I mentally noted. Tudru only glared after it became apparent there were others who were doing it, and it wasn't like he wasn't paying attention. Kuvli simply stared at him with no outward expression. With Nakk rolling his eyes, putting on a show for the others. Rekka just looked away.
That made it potentially four people on my side, not counting Kalith. We actually had the advantage.
"No." I said. Kalith looked at me with wide eyes. "That isn't something we can decide on. The only way something like that is happening is if the people overwhelmingly support it. Even then, I couldn't possibly take that kind of role."
I shook my head. "Besides, we need to focus on the threat at hand. Five days from now, we are all going to be facing the potential of death. Merti, Tatla, even if you don't believe us, please work hard to stock up on enough food to support everyone. No matter what, we need to survive, at least long enough for our enemies to lower their guard."
They both looked at each other, then nodded. "We trust Galax's visions, and since you can corroborate something that at least makes sense with it in context..." Merti trailed off.
"We'll do it, for the good of the Warren." She said.
"Galax, do you think your Clerics would be willing to work together with ours to spread the news? So far, the people have only seen us bickering, knowing there is a danger and that we're already making efforts to ensure everyone's survival should heighten our chances of getting people to listen."
Galax nodded. "You brought the sword to me that signals the start of this, one that could have only come about had you any love for my God. We will do this."
"So, what, me and my Fighters are just fucking useless?" Tudru asked.
"Can you fight a mountain?" Kurtulmak asked.
"N-no..." Tudru replied.
"Tudru, Kuvli, you've been working your warriors hard, I know everyone's been using magic to heal sore muscles. That means each and every one of your Fighters and Berserkers are strong. We're going to need that strength to get everything we need moved down in Darastrixthurhi."
I could see in their eyes, in spite of their outward hostility and aloofness, they respected me and wanted to support me.
"Nakk, you know your Rogues better than any of us, do what you need to in order to keep us safe, and tell the Monks that we're not leaving them topside, they're coming with us and that is non-negotiable."
"On it." Nakk replied.
"For someone so unwilling to lead an Empire, you're certainly quick to give orders." I looked at Tallyn. "Are you actually against such a thing for moral reasons, or because you want it, but know you shouldn't take it?"
"Tallyn-" I started.
"Tell us honestly." He said.
My Emperor lightly tapped my back, then he scraped his claw up, then down. So, this was it, then. I looked down, rubbing my hands together, I spoke, "I'd be lying if I said the thought didn't appeal to me." I looked up at him. "But I can't."
Based on the expressions of the others, it seemed that earned me a few brownie points with them.
"Rekka, can you and your Artificers come up with something to ensure we have fresh air underground? I know there are shafts that bring fresh air in-"
"I'm already mentally building the schematics." She said.
"What will you and Kalith be doing?" Tallyn asked.
"I'll be organizing my Sorcerers to ensure everything goes smoothly." I replied. "He and his Warlocks will be doing much the same as me." I paused. "Tallyn, I'm not actually certain what Paladins do, exactly."
"I can lead my Paladins to heal anyone who gets hurt, that should be enough."
"It will have to be." I said.
That was the end of the meeting, nobody made any comment on how I effectively took command. Galax and Tallyn were the first to get up and leave, with Merti and Tatla leaving shortly after.
"Tudru, Kuvli, Rekka." I said. They all looked at me, "Was it my imagining, or does the idea of the Warren becoming an Empire not bother you?"
"No." Kuvli stated bluntly. "It does not."
"It's pretty much inevitable at this point." Rekka said.
Tudru averted his gaze. "I'd be lying if I said it did." He said.
"Then will you support your Imperator when needed?" I asked. Only Tudru and Rekka looked surprised.
"Finally." Kuvli said, smiling. He walked around the table over to me and knelt. "We've been waiting since day one of us Awakening for you to say something like that."
"Imperator." Tudru said hesitantly. He did the same as Kuvli, and knelt.
Rekka followed suit.
"Swear your fealty to me, and our God, our Emperor, Kurtulmak." I said.
"I swear." They spoke.
"In the days to come, I want the people to demand I take command. If anyone speaks out against this, have them detained, so that when I do take command, I release them and show I am a magnanimous leader. Is this understood?"
"Yes, Imperator." They all spoke. Tudru smiled as he said it, it was clear he had been wanting this for a long while yet.
​
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Hey!! Trying this for the thousand time!! Haha it's been a sucky night mainly just wanna forget about me we can talk about anything there's no reason for me to put a hugeeee description you can ask me anything you wish to know in the call and we can make the night better with the voice chat!! My dms are open please be 18+ and be willing to voice chat please!!! I have a few apps for VC I'm also open for video chat once we talk a bit more so hit me up!!!!

Hey!! Trying this for the thousand time!! Haha it's been a sucky night mainly just wanna forget about me we can talk about anything there's no reason for me to put a hugeeee description you can ask me anything you wish to know in the call and we can make the night better with the voice chat!! My dms are open please be 18+ and be willing to voice chat please!!! I have a few apps for VC I'm also open for video chat once we talk a bit more so hit me up!!!!