Immature sponge mhr
AITA for intentionally excluding someone when saying goodbye?
2023.05.22 19:19 parentsfoundlast1 AITA for intentionally excluding someone when saying goodbye?
I (17F) am in Year 12. In September I became friends with 'Susan' (17F), 'Tim' (16M) and 'Leah' (17F).
Susan and I share a class, Sociology, and as we were leaving after a lesson one day I was involved in a conversation with Leah and was unaware of the surroundings. Apparently Susan had called after me and asked whether or not I was going home, and because I had not been paying attention I had not heard her and so had "ignored" her. Only half an hour after, Susan was loudly complaining to a group of people about how I was a "fun-sponge", ridiculous, horrible, and that I never knew when I was wrong amongst other things. Susan and I don't see eye to eye on some situations, such as my ambition to attempt to become a legislator to hopefully try to fix some issues as Susan thinks I am being egotistical and arrogant in my idea that I 'am the only one capable of fixing it' (I do not believe this, I do however think if enough people try someone will be able to and if I am not willing to sacrifice for the idea then how can I expect others to) so regularly attempts to argue with my by asking me if I'm 'lonely on my high horse' and other such things which is a point of contention. Susan played her comments off as "expressions of hurt" but her comments extremely upset me as I struggled with severe bullying in primary school. That evening one of our mutual friends let Susan know they had told me what she had said, and I had the claims of what Susan had said verified by multiple people.
The following day Susan came up to me while I was alone and started trying to talk to me as if everything was normal. I do admit I was rather short in my answers with her however I did not ignore her and was not rude. When Leah and Tim came over and started a conversation with me, Susan also followed. I was still extremely upset about what Susan had said so at that point I stopped talking in the conversation and tried to calm myself down. Throughout their conversation I struggled to reconcile my anger at her with my upset and had to force myself to stay and sit quietly rather than running away or confronting her. As I stood to leave I said goodbye to Tim and Leah but purposefully not Susan.
Leah thinks given the context that despite my actions being somewhat petty that I am okay. Susan does not think so and has managed to convince Tim that I am in the wrong and as such Tim has blocked me and ended my friendship with him due to being "immature", "petty" and in order to teach me a lesson. Originally the end of my friendship with Susan had really upset me but I'm okay with that situation now; Despite this the end of my friendship with Tim was been, even now, extremely upsetting as he refuses to communicate at all with me or listen to what Susan did originally amongst other things.
AITA for intentionally excluding Susan when saying goodbye?
Tldr; I was upset that Susan had been horrible and said goodbye to my friends apart from Susan while leaving a conversation.
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2023.05.11 20:26 Hooligan5ThrowRA I think my GF is autistic and I'm trying to understand what to do and what the implications are.
My uncle is autistic. High functioning, but his you know. Very smart, very talented. Very noticeably autistic like borderline special needs. I love him very much.
Growing up tho, that was my introduction to the term and signs so, I may have had an subconscious association with people being on the spectrum and being special. So I treated him differently, with more care and grace.
I know. It's shitty.
I met my girlfriend 2 years ago. When we first started dating, she admitted to me she had ADD. Didn't pay much attention to it. I'd dated an ADD girl before and it was nbd, she was on prescribed Adderall tho.
I knew immediately I was just sharper than my GF. I don't know how to say it without sounding like a dick. I just understood social cues faster, in school I barely tried and had grades better than her and she studies her ass off. I just guessed my memory was better.
Recently she failed a class and like I genuinely don't know how, she studied CONSTANTLY. I just think her ADD gets in the way and she's non-medicated. I believe she's intelligent, funny, and beautiful, and can do so much more than me who chose to work a trade over school because I just don't care that much.
In conversations, I could do things that she wouldn't recognize. And it kinda confused me. She did not understand sarcasm and would get pissed at me. Several times.
She didn't know what an oil change was for years, she didn't recognize when her friends would bully her in a terrible way that wasn't friendly and gained anxiety from it, and on several occasions she would get scammed on market place and I had to help her get her money and things back because she would just give up.
There was also times where she lacked considerable basic empathy and that almost ruined our relationship and just did things I could barely forgive. Like she just doesn't understand shit. We don't understand each other.
She tends to get overwhelmed. She kinda smiles in like a way that isn't natural. One bad thing that like I personally would just ignore can completely ruin her day and she'll cry about it- I thought she was just soft but like idk.
I love horror movies, too. She doesn't. She legit cannot. But she'll watch like kid TV shows like Doc McStuffins for HOURS it's crazy. Disney movies. And has a handful of the same shows she just watches on repeat. She never stops watching SpongeBob. 23 years old. These are her comfort shows.
Obviously, these are like mad generalizations and not fair right? Kinda was on my mind, I just ignore. I don't like to think about it because I don't want to feel like I'm better than her, I don't want to make her feel like an outsider, and I love her. I'm not a doctor. Not even intelligent.
But I kinda have more proof to my feelings. She recently did a screening for neuro-divergence, because she follows this like lady who does psychology. Yea, the test came back she obviously has ADD but there was a high chance she was autistic.
I want her to get a professional opinion now, but like damn. I just kinda feel strange, like I feel immature. I feel like we can never come together on some things because she genuinely can't.
I want to educate myself and become comfortable. First off, it feels weird because we have a sex life and it's always felt weird to finish sex and watch fucking SpongeBob or Doc McStuffins. I'm not trying to be funny, everything is weird now. If I suggest to put something on she fights about it.
I want to be a source of support for her if she's on the spectrum, show I still love her. Part of me tho, kinda feels like our relationship will always struggle because I'm not on the spectrum and I may feel some kind of dissociation. I don't want to become resentful, to me my relationship IS THE NOW and there's nothing better because I don't even think about it. I want to get married.
But there's like a feeling like we have to try so hard for something, and I feel like I wouldn't have to with someone more like me. I know she's a person just like me. I just don't want her to feel like I'm parenting her or our dynamic has somehows changed.
I feel so ignorant. And shitty. And selfish.
I still want her in my life so does anyone have any kind of advice for me and how I should proceed? I feel like it changes nothing, but I don't want to abuse her in any way or feel like we can't grow.
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2023.05.09 03:07 DemonDoggo99 I'm allowed to judge people for having childlike interests.
I'm 16M. Sure, I have childhood nostalgia like anybody else and can still enjoy stuff like Ben 10 and The Lion King. But they're not core parts of my personality or every day life, and I don't go see new Disney movies or watch children's shows I've never seen before. But I know people (both teens and grown adults) who still obsess over and make every conversation about Disney movies/princesses, Steven Universe, Pokemon, Dance Moms, SpongeBob, Monster High, Barbie, Mario, Bratz, and various Disney Channel shows. These people can obsess over these things as much as they want without being judged for it, but the moment I even imply that I find their interests immature, I'm an evil Nazi asshole who's out to ruin everybody's life and refuses to let anyone like what they like.
The thing is, I think everyone should be allowed to like what they like. I'd never try to stop somebody from watching this stuff. I just think I should be allowed to have my own opinion on it and judge Disney-obsessed thirty-year-olds as immature. I'm not trying to prevent you from liking what you like, I'm just forming my opinion.
You're free to have whatever interests you want, but other people are completely allowed to judge you for it. You're not the only one allowed to have thoughts and opinions.
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2023.05.03 20:58 Philthy16 Squidward '08 Guide
Spongebob ’08 Squidward Guide
VP: Kelpy G
Using this guide, you will usually get 449 electoral votes
Visits: 4 in Texas (Do these First), 8 in California (if on the last visit, you’re farther ahead in California than Texas, spend your last visit in Texas)
- We are going to try and balance my Anti-Bush sentiments and support from the party establishment. We'll do this by mentioning my mavericky positions, like opposing Iraq and improving funding for the arts, as well as praising GOP bigwigs who aren't Bush and Cheney. I will then stress the importance of unity, or else SpongeBob, or God forbid, Patrick, will become the leader of the free world.
- Kelpy G is an idol to God knows how people, myself included. He is a fighter who has never backed down when in a hole, and has always risen up to the occasion. I ran on a campaign based off of fighting back against the establishment, and with the support of the GOP faithful, we succeeded. If we are to end up in the White House, we need to stand up the establishment who wants their corporate puppet in control instead.
- Those polls show SpongeBob and Patrick more likable than me, do they?! We'll talk at great lengths about how those two are some of the most immature people I have ever had the pleasure to meet. Can you trust them to deal with Putin in meetings? What about Lula? NATO? I'm a responsible adult who will actually treat the role as President with the respect it deserves, unlike those two.
- I can't come off as a flip-flopper in regards to this issue, I really can't. But I'll do this. If those two-faced neocons want us to stay in Iraq, fine. But the deadline will be by 2010 and hopefully by that point Iraq will be sufficient enough to not even need our military to keep their country together.
- Oh please, this is stupid. As we were starting to pick up steam, some grifter wanted attention to his flailing career, so he decides to attack us unethically. We would show him, but we have to stamp out this bad press as soon as possible. Let's think, Squidward. I've got it. Let's settle with this fake out of court with, well you don't need to know where the funds came from, but funds regardless. Please tell me this works.
- After noticing his behavior behind the grill, I honestly can't say I'm surprised. We'll air ads attacking SpongeBob over the entire affair, and make myself more rational, and hell sane in the process. That yellow monster can't get anywhere near the Presidency, and this might have people consider their vote now. This is great!
- To be honest, my painting and sculpting abilities have always been more well received than everything else, despite those hicks still crapping on my work regardless. But maybe ordinary Americans will appreciate those skills. I'll show off various paintings and sculptures of mine to get enthusiasm up for my campaign, and even get positive media coverage.
- Actually, why not balance our social media and television efforts? We don't have enough funds to make both operations top tier, but considering my opponents are focusing their attention on one extreme, let's try to appeal to everyone we can.
- Crap, crap, crap, crap. Ok, think Squidward, think. We obviously can't call for a similar stimulus plan to SpongeBob, but we will do this. We will call for a stimulus, but will heavily include tax cuts in these measures. Considering the American People are going to have a difficult time with their finances very soon, it would help stimulate the economy if we didn't tax them to death.
- We're going to hit both of those suckers on this issue, but I don't want to come off as too much of a snob and elitist. The American People don't have enough class and dignity. Instead, we'll use this attack here and there, but in clever ways, and not overdoing it.
- Look, it's imperative that we expand healthcare at this moment in time, but in a bipartisan and pragmatic way. I would like to even expand on President Bush's efforts on this subject, and negotiate with drug companies to lower drug prices significantly.
- We won't try to attack pinhead on his intelligence, for now, but instead we'll attack him on his seemingly untransparent and lack of structure to his political beliefs. The only reason Patrick has his political beliefs is because he wanted to Larp as this outsider independent candidate, despite him having no idea about his policies only a few months before he ran!
- We will obviously prepare and attend this debate. It's going to be so sweet when the American People see me as the grown adult in the room, especially compared to those knuckleheads. (All 3 Do The Same Thing)
- We needed this scandal badly, and we're obviously going to capitalize on it. However, let's not go too overboard with it. This will be especially effective when used as a deterrent or an easy attack here and there.
- Look, I understand a key portion of my base wants Israel to have complete authority or whatever, but advocating for a two state solution is simply much more palatable to the American Public as a whole, as well as it being more pragmatic to pursue if elected President. And besides, those voters will still back me over my opponents.
- I am personally Pro-Life, but I understand the need for certain protections like rape or danger to the mother. Overall, abortion should be avoided whenever possible, and the federal government shouldn't fund it.
- I don't necessarily support Gay Marriage, but I believe civil unions are a good compromise without violating the sanctity of marriage. Now can we move along to other issues, please?
- Even though I believe that we must look out for ourselves first and foremost, we should take action against Russia with Europe by our side. Be it sanctions, cancelling joint-projects, or whatnot, we must do something to stop Russia from growing too aggressive.
- I am the true candidate for the people. I have worked my entire adult life collecting orders for a fast food restaurant, while talking the talk and walking the walk. I know the struggles of ordinary Americans and what they deal with. Trust me, I know. I do not tow party lines, and will support policies regardless of partisanship. We need an outsider and people's candidate for President, and I'm the one who fits that bill the most.
- I won't mention him on the campaign trail, obviously, but let's bond with him on our shared love for the arts.
- We'll campaign all throughout New England and the Northeast. I'm confident we can get lucky.
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2023.05.03 02:27 TheGMan-123 Changing Gore Magala's classification from ??? to Something Else
So after some Twitter arguments (I know, I know, it's just a waste of everyone's time), I decided I'd put my thoughts into something more tangible. Currently, here's a bit of a disconnect between the games and the extended background worldbuilding with regards to Gore Magala's classification. In the games, it's called "???", a holdover from MH4 when it wasn't known at the time what Gore Magala was supposed to be.
In all non-game media afterwards, especially the official phylogenetic trees that categorize Monsters into their taxonomic branches, it's been called an Elder Dragon like it should be. But this has yet to be rectified as of Gore Magala's latest game appearance in MHR:SB.
I think, moving forward, this should change. Instead of just giving it the Monster classification of "Elder Dragon", though, I think it should get a unique one all to itself to denote how it's different from its adult stage.
I propose that Gore Magala be given the in-game label of "Juvenile Elder Dragon" or "Immature Elder Dragon". Just some addendum to the ordinary Elder Dragon label to denote Gore Magala's status as a younger form of an Elder Dragon species. In this way, Gore Magala would be properly classified like it should be while also still giving a clear difference from regular EDs to ensure that players will know not to treat it the same as regular EDs.
What do you guys think? I think it's the best compromise, as it keeps Gore Magala's unique status as a capturable Monster intact while still making note of the fact it's still an Elder Dragon by species classification.
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2023.05.03 02:27 TheGMan-123 Changing Gore Magala's classification from ??? to Something Else
So after some Twitter arguments (I know, I know, it's just a waste of everyone's time), I decided I'd put my thoughts into something more tangible. Currently, here's a bit of a disconnect between the games and the extended background worldbuilding with regards to Gore Magala's classification. In the games, it's called "???", a holdover from MH4 when it wasn't known at the time what Gore Magala was supposed to be.
In all non-game media afterwards, especially the official phylogenetic trees that categorize Monsters into their taxonomic branches, it's been called an Elder Dragon like it should be. But this has yet to be rectified as of Gore Magala's latest game appearance in MHR:SB.
I think, moving forward, this should change. Instead of just giving it the Monster classification of "Elder Dragon", though, I think it should get a unique one all to itself to denote how it's different from its adult stage.
I propose that Gore Magala be given the in-game label of "Juvenile Elder Dragon" or "Immature Elder Dragon". Just some addendum to the ordinary Elder Dragon label to denote Gore Magala's status as a younger form of an Elder Dragon species. In this way, Gore Magala would be properly classified like it should be while also still giving a clear difference from regular EDs to ensure that players will know not to treat it the same as regular EDs.
What do you guys think? I think it's the best compromise, as it keeps Gore Magala's unique status as a capturable Monster intact while still making note of the fact it's still an Elder Dragon by species classification.
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2023.04.28 05:44 StrifeKnot1983 "A Word on Acceptance" - an interminable essay by Eric The Actor
source - http://web.archive.org/web/20140621081148/http://www.howardstern.com/profiles/eric-the-actor
A WORD ON ACCEPTANCE
BY ERIC THE ACTOR (All opinions are Eric's and Eric's alone and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Howard Stern Show)
Back in August the country recognized the 50th. Anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s great "I Have A Dream" speech, and March on Washington D.C. Let's not let another 50 years go by before Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s dream of all men being equal is finally realized and the hate finally ends. Let's start accepting everyone as equals and not hate them anymore. I myself have a dream. A dream that words like hate get replaced by words like acceptance, and that it not that 50 years for that to happen. The Olympics in Sochi, Russia have ended, and what we should all take away from the 16 day sporting event that had 86 different countries some of which do not really get along were all there side by side without any fights other than the fights that got the athletes gold, silver, and bronze medals. When the athletes were not trying to out due each other in each of the events they were all spending time with either having fun. That really came through on the closing night. There was one shining example of great sportsmen ship was in the opening week there was a really great moment where a Canadian Cross Country Ski coach went out of his way to get on the track and help out a Russian skier replace his broken ski by giving him a extra ski from team Canada. So let that be an example that hating is worthless. Even two people from two completely different countries in the middle of an Olympic event can look past team competition and show great sportsmanship and respect. The Olympics really show that people of around the world can all be in one place at the same time, and completely get along, and just compete for medals, and the right to be called the best at their sport.
It would really be great if Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's dream can finally be realized before his living relatives all pass on. Clearly all anyone has to do is look around to see that yes, we are rarely ever equal on the outside. Rather it is in height, weight, skin, facial features, or even hair we are different, but that is the way it is meant to be. I know that is God's will and intent. To me it would be one boring world if we were all walking around looking the same and the animals looked the same too. Just because we are all not equal on the outside does not mean that we can not treat each other as equals. I mean, we pretty much have all the same number of organs in our bodies and the same number of 206 bones. Of course, there are people that from either accidents or medical reasons, do not have all their organs or all of their bones. There's no reason at all to hate anyone for their race, religion, their sexual orientation, or anything else for that matter. It says in the bible that we are all made in God's image. The key words in that are: that we are all made in his image. No matter what groups like G.H.F., and KKK Skin Heads, and the Neo Nazi's think, God does not exclude people in any way like we exclude people. They think that God does not open the gates to gay people or people of certain races. What keeps people from heaven's gates is being hateful towards your fellow man, and not hold love for God and his son in their hearts. It is not like being gay is some kind of new hot fad and is just going to ever go away. In fact it seems to be getting more and more acceptable to be someone that is an openly gay person in the past few years. Which really a good thing nobody should hide who they are. I mean from my very first call in to The Howard Stern Show on 09/19/2002 I have been up front, and open about who I am. I never kept the fact that I was a little person in a wheelchair to myself. I could have kept that to myself if I felt like it, but I did not do that, because I have no reason to hide that. I feel bad knowing that there are still people that in this day, and age feel that they still have to hide who they are. By now no one should have to hide anything about themselves just because they feel that they will not be accepted in whatever they want to do in their lives. What is great is how in the last couple of years there have been actors, athletes, and other being in the spotlight coming out of the closet, and being accepted. Sunday night Jason Collins the NBA star that came out last year finally got to play for the first since he came out, and there was positive response by the fans. So far people have been for the most part very positive about the first openly gay guy to enter the NFL Draft in a few months. Actresses, and actors have been coming out as well. Not one of them are any different now than they were before they came out. They are just as human now as they were before. Here is an idea for all of these hate groups, because all of the things that they hate so much are not passing fads that will be gone somewhere down the road. Find some island in the damn middle of nowhere, just pack up, and leave no one will miss you I am sure of that. It should be crystal clear that being openly gay is getting more acceptable by that fact of how many TV shows and movies have featured openly gay characters, or openly gay actors. I feel that all this hate, and bad feels towards the LTGB Community comes from everyone that are still having the uneducated, ignorant idea from the 1980's that gays started the HIV/AIDS epidemic. I guarantee you that if there was a research poll taken on the opinions of people born before 1988 about how they feel about gay people, and than asked the same thing of people born earlier than that I guarantee that the number of older people that hate older people, and do not support the gay lifestyle will be so much higher than the people born after 1988. All of those older people are not as grown up as they think that they are. Being around gay people is not going to do anything to hurt you in anyway. Just like being around anyone that is different than you. Passage John 3:16 in the bible says "God So Loved The World He Gave His Only Begotten Son, That Whoever, Believeth In Him Should Not Parish, But Have Everlasting Life." I know that he did not give up Jesus hoping that in the future we would hold so much hate for on another. They will all be surprised to find out the only people excluded from heaven are people that hold hate in their hearts and are not following God's word. Which that means they would be excluded. They are all going to end up meeting Hitler, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, and other awful people in the history of the world, and also all of the people who follow any cult leader or false religion like Scientology. The only way that any of those people have any shot, excuse the pun, in hell of avoiding an eternity in hell is if on their death bed they get a priest, repent for their sins here on earth, and accept (there is that word again, Accept) God into their heart. I know that bible does not accept gay people and their lifestyle at all, but what we all need to keep in mind is that god himself did not write the bible that you find in churches, and even motel rooms. This past weekend I got into a little bit of a direct message argument with Stern Show's writer Benjy Bronk about his views on what Arizona is doing about discrimination in restaurants, and businesses. His views were awful. Here it goes. First what I first to him: So from what your logic says from your tweet a restaurant can refuse to serve you because they think they dot want to contribute to your weight problem. That is awful. Now him: I don't think its nice, but yes, I think that should be their right. Me: That is reverting backwards to the white restaurants and the color restaurants. Him: if someone wouldn't want me in their restaurant because Im Jewish, I would think thats wrong, but legally I think it should be their right. Me: Well being someone who clearly is different from others because I am in a wheelchair and a little person if a business told me that I had to leave. I would be back there with a lawyer, and news cameras for sure. Him: if a business didnt let you in for that reason, I would think that was very wrong and mean and I would not support that business, and I would encourage others to not support that business either, but I dont think the Government should force people to be nice. Me: As a country we need to finally end all of this worthless bullshit of hate, and start finally accept all people as equals. Like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wanted 50 years ago. Him: I 100% agree with you, I just dont think its Governments business.
If you look at the past of our southern states you can see that acceptance was not a word that anyone would use to describe that part of our history. People could not go to the same schools, restrooms, restaurants, or sit in the front of buses just because their skin color was different. Sitting writing this, something just popped in my head and that is the fact that the people of the south back then were complete idiots, because more than likely it was their distant relatives that brought over the distant relatives that they were excluding from schools, restrooms, restaurants, and the front of buses. My point is, if their distant relatives never brought over the slaves it would have not been a headache that they had to deal with. Of course, I hope that I am not coming off sounding racist because I am not trying to be. I am trying to point out that the whole history of the Civil War and years later the fight for Civil Rights, they brought that on themselves but yet I am sure they would not own up to it. To me, it is stupid to place blame for that part of our country's history on African Americans. They should not have had to be slaves to anyone in the first place. I mean, really think about it. It's not like all those many years ago when the slave ships showed in Africa they said to the men on the ships, "Take us to America to use as slaves to pick your crops and do the cleaning," and then years later after we gain our freedom, you all exclude our distant relatives from having all the rights that they should have, treat them like crap, hurt them, and even torture and kill them. I get why so many African American people are so frustrated with us white people. Another thing is, why in the world did our U.S. Government make this month which is the shortest month of the whole year, to celebrate the history of African Americans? I mean really, why the shortest month after all of the years of torture? I think that the month of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr's birth should be Black History Month. To me that makes more sense. Like I just said, to me, January should Black History Month, followed by February as Presidents Month, because of Washington and Lincoln's birthdays.
We are on the final week of Black History Month, and today the NFL made an announcement about the use of another word that I feel needs to be thrown away for good, and that is the "N" word. They are considering a new rule that says any player calling another player that word first the team will get penalized fifteen yards, the second time the player will get kicked out of the current game. To me no one should use that word. Not even other African American people. I mean I would no greet another little person or another person in a wheelchair "Hey What's Up Midget," or Hey My Crippled Friend". That is not how people should greet each other.
Our very own government, in many ways, needs to be taught the word Acceptance. Acceptance of things have got to start being done differently or we are going to have an even harder time digging out of our massive crushing debt problems. Acceptance that the more people lose their jobs, the more that in order to support their families they will turn to committing crimes for their families to survive. Acceptance that more attention and money needs to somehow go into the country's public education system so that areas stop losing so many schools. The more schools that are lost, the more over crowded the open classrooms get. Which hurts kids grades, and test scores. Not only that but the more schools that close mean that totally qualified teacher are sitting at home instead of a classroom. The education of the kids now, and the kids in the future is as important as important should be. Another thing that the government needs to accept is the fact that not only is crime going to keep climbing higher and higher because more and more people losing their jobs and looking for ways to get money, cities are going to be in more of a need to have completely fully staffed police departments, fire departments, and paramedics. A lot cities are losing funding for all three of those: police, fire, and paramedics. They are having to cut services and lay off a lot of police officers, paramedics, and fire fighters. I know you be thinking, why are fire fighters and paramedics needed for crime problems? For arson and crimes where people are hurt or killed. Maybe it really comes down to us American voters, we need to stop accepting the same politicians running for office every year. Maybe instead of electing pretty much the same older white men and women that we have been electing, maybe we should elect younger people with fresher ideas of how this country should be ran. People that are economic and mathematics experts that can maybe get our budget and country on track. Get our economy the kick in the butt that it badly needs. Get our unemployment numbers down lower, our employment numbers go up, and cost of living and gas cost go down. Our current politicians are doing more to hurt the country than they are doing to help the country. They need to accept the fact that they need to raise federal minimum wage up to a much higher level. A level that makes it worth getting up everyday getting in to either a car or public transit, or enough that does not go all into a tank of gas. They need to accept that people want to make more at their jobs than they have to spend to get to their job. Why should a person go to a low paying job that puts them in the hole financially by getting to the job daily? A job should have a paycheck that is worth spending the time to do the work.
Our government needs to accept that their tired old ways are just that: tired old ways. Times are changing, big time. The old policies that worked just fine years ago do not work now. We need them to make some newer policies that will pick us up out of this deep economic ditch that we are currently struggling to get ourselves out of. They need to find ways to get more people off of our streets and safely in either homes or apartments especially families with small children. Not only do they to make get strides to make sure more families are off of the streets, and have a roof over their heads, but they also need to make sure that every family can stay fed, healthy, and clothed. It is hard enough to raise a family the government needs to accept that they need to do their part to make it easier. The last thing that the members of our government needs to accept is the fact that it is completely time to bring our tired men and women of our military all home. I mean, it is cool watching the news and every once in a while seeing a soldier surprising their loved ones, but it is time for them to all be home now. Also, they need to make that those returning men and women coming home can get jobs if they need them, to be able to completely proved for their loved ones, and get any medical help that they may need. Today the government announced that they are considering major military cut backs. I t great that they finally want to get all of our men and women back in this country, and out of Afghanistan and Iraq, but now it not the right time to be just cutting a bunch of them loose. We have enough people already struggling to find jobs, and our government wants to add a lot of men, and women of our military to the already long list of unemployed people looking for jobs. Wise up government.
Here's a thought to all registered voters. Maybe something that should change is that our next President, and Vice President should be two women. I think that it should be Hillary Clinton for President, and Michelle Obama as the Vice President. I am sure that a lot of the women reading this would agree with me that really it is the women that run every household. I think that it time that women run the most well known house in this country, and our country out of the Oval Office at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. I think that a total of sixteen years of our former First Lady, and our current First Lady maybe what our country needs. Plus their husbands could give them advice if they need any. As far as the rest of the government goes stop electing guys that have law degrees it is the country's budget which is an economic issue that needs the most help. So the politicians should be voting in should have economic, and mathematics degrees
This is going to be my final paragraph about Acceptance. My final thoughts I am going get back to the whole thing of acceptance over hate. I know that one way to make sure that there is way more acceptance in this world than there is hate is to simply lead by example. What I mean is to grow up, stop acting like an immature juvenile little hateful person. Kids will see it in you. It is true how they are like sponges, they do and say whatever they see the adults in their lives do or say. If they see adults treating each other like crap, clearly they are going to get the wrong message of how they should treat the other kids at their schools or in the neighborhood. Bullying and harassment, both on-line and in face to face, has got to come to an end now!! Acceptance needs to be a normal and acceptable part of our future. All bullying and harassing does, whether it is kids or adults, is make the victims feel like less of a person and put them into depression. The fact that there are groups like the Be A Star campaign, and probably close to two dozen or more anti-bullying anti-harassment groups actively out there, shows that bullying and harassment are very serious matters right now. Clearly, kids can not teach themselves because if that was the case there would be no need for schools, teachers, and school supplies. The Crosby, Stills, and Nash song title "Teach Your Children Well" is right we need to teach our children well by teaching them acceptance not hate. March 11th., this year I will be turning 39 years old, and since 2002, when I started calling The Howard Stern Show I myself have been a target of bullying, harassment, and hate by people that have never grown up at all, and really learned right from wrong in the way you treat people. They are just totally pathetic, worthless, juvenile, immature people that have self-esteem issues. They themselves feel better when they harass, and make fun of others. The bad things that I have written about in this need to be a complete part of our history, and the good things need to get better. I am sick of all of the damn negative crap in the news daily. To whomever just read this and has perception that I am a low intelligent, self-centered, hateful, miserable, delusional, racist, homophobic/anti-gay, idiot, that lives in his own little world, and is someone that doesn't get what is going on in the world, his entitlement issues clouds his view. Than you are seriously in need of help, and accept the fact that maybe you are the one not living in reality. For still having that bullcrap perception of me. I think that I have said enough in this to prove how full of crap that perception of me is.
submitted by StrifeKnot1983
to howardstern [link] [comments]
2023.04.25 23:22 sleepykittenxx my mother wants me (25F) to buy a home for both of us to live in and the request boils my blood
I apologize in advance for how long this post is. It's complicated to explain.
my mother texted me yesterday wondering what my paycheque was like and to see if i could qualify for a loan. homes in the town i live in are very expensive (but i mean, where isn't).
i recently graduated from university so i'm not making very much rn, but enough for me and my cat to live off of. i have two roommates and live in a three bedroom basement suite in the suburbs.
i also live very far away from my family, and for good reason. they're a highly conflict people, very stressful. i attended school overseas funded by my dad. my brother is in school, however my dad has cancer and is undergoing treatment but is still working. they wanted me to return home after uni was done but i said no thank you (i would rather unalive myself than go back there).
backstory on my contentious relationship with both parents:
my parents divorced when i was 10 and when my brother was 5. my dad had custody of us. grandmother moved in. she was a horrible woman, also abusive. she died in 2019 from cancer. my mom cheated on my dad. i don't condone cheating, but my dad was and still is emotionally abusive and has been physically abusive to my mother at certain points of their relationship pre-divorce and pre-affair. so i know that my mom is a victim of my dad. my parents had me when my dad was 35 and my mom 20. I was 14 years old when I found out their true ages and I was horrified. I called my dad a paedophile in that moment. god this family fucked me up. I even ended up participating in a couple of age gap relationships because of my unresolved family issues. i immensely regretted them and am now dating someone my own age. i've worked really hard to no longer self-harm, no longer starve myself, and generally like myself a bit more. i had lots of mental health issues after i left home, mainly inherited from my family's actions.
when i was 15, my mom moved back in at request of my dad. my mom was working at that time in a different country and was nervous to be without income because in the divorce she got nothing and was kicked out of the home. so my dad said he would pay her a small monthly salary to come back and to care for me and my brother. this wasn't necessarily meaning that they were getting back together. but he held it over her. so there was financial abuse involved again.
when she moved back in, my dad would be abusive to her again, threatening to kick her out whenever their was an argument. i always jumped in to defend her, always trying to diffuse the situation. my dad would accuse her of being a gold digger. it was very stressful. I was surprised i manage to graduate high school with decent enough grades to qualify for a university i was interested in. So i left home when i was 18 and when my brother was 13. I was worried about him, but I knew I had to save myself first. I was growing suicidal and they taught me there was nothing about me to love. if my dad couldn't take out his anger on my mom, he would turn to me. if he couldn't take it out on me, he would take it out on my mom, but i would always step in to protect her. i started doing this for her when I was 15. i remember feeling betrayed when my mom would turn on me, after all those times i saved her from my dad.
i love my mom, but i wish she hadn't come back because my dad is cruel to her. it was painful seeing her like that growing up and seeing that she's still like that. the last time i visited home, i begged my mom to leave him. he threatens to cut her off from his wallet even though they now act like a couple and have been for many years now, even though they haven't officially remarried. my mom fears that no one will want her anymore. it's the sunk cost fallacy with some stockholm syndrome sprinkled in. my dad is withholding towards her which exacerbates my mom's anxieties and insecurities, ultimately compounding her most likely anxious attachment style. it's suffocating to be around her. 10/10 on the toxic scale. very toxic couple.
my brother doesn't live at home anymore, and i don't know if my parents are still maintaining the same financial arrangement as when she first moved in. i know he pays her back for the groceries, and she doesn't work. she's an able-bodied woman and i know she can work. and it makes sense for her to be so childish and immature because she had me so young, but fuck i hate feeling like i'm her parent. Growing up, I rarely ever felt like I was her child and she was my mother. It often felt like I was her protector and I had to frequently mediate arguments between her and my dad. God they're both so childish.
To be honest I don't even feel bad about my dad having cancer. he's a prick and he probably deserves it. he was very physically and emotionally abusive to me growing up, and has the audacity to be sad about our lack of a relationship.
i think i've lost respect for her as i've grown over the years. I didn't always used to feel this level of resentment or disgust towards her. yes, there's still love there, but it isn't the primary emotion. She is the last person I want to be like. Yes she can be kind and loving, but she is also deeply insecure, judgmental because of her insecurities that she projects onto strangers, shallow and vain...she's just not someone that i respect.
i hate the feeling that she sees me as a lifeline. i've never depended on her for anything. i hate that she wants to make me responsible for her life. it felt like she was sniffing me out and tryna suss my life out. i was her main emotional support when i was living at home and when i left home she would text me that she was lonely. i don't allow her to talk to me about fights with my dad anymore. i'm not getting involved in that crockpot of toxicity anymore.
i also feel disgusted when she wants to touch me or hug me when i visit home now. I don't know why, but the word "leech" keeps coming to my mind when i think of her throughout this post. I feel guilty and disgusted with myself for feeling this way, but I just want to be a kid. I never got to have a childhood. i had plans for my twenties to be a time to recover my lost childhood. I've been reconnecting with my inner child, and the last thing my inner child needs right now is to be responsible for someone else. the very thought makes me wanna scream and pull my hair out. i feel suffocated and trapped all over again as soon as she messaged me. it's like she's trying to live through me. she wants what i have, and i've always felt like she was jealous of me. she would slut shame me, fat shame me, and just be so critical to me. how could she be like this to me when i've tried so hard to protect her from my dad in the past?
tbh whenever she messages me, like just little messages asking how i've been etc, i feel so irritated and angry very quickly. i feel suffocated. i feel like i'm trapped all over again. i haven't seen her as my mom in a looong time, i've seen her mostly as a sister, but lately not even as a sister. i'm not sure who my parents are to me.
I know that she's a victim of my dad. I've encouraged to go to therapy. I've dragged her to group therapy once with me and my brother. my dad refused to come along LOL bc he's a pos. I flew back home after because that was when my ticket was scheduled. She went only that one time. she said she would again. i told my dad to pay for her therapy. i couldn't, still can't, because i can't even pay for my own therapy. i've tried to help her in the past. but she insists on staying with him. so fuck it, fine, whatever, stay with this abusive toxic pos who now has cancer and you now need to take care of. my mom feels bad abandoning him bc he has cancer. but he's suck a flying dickhead that personally idc, and i don't think that because you have cancer, that makes suddenly makes him a good person. like no, he was an asshole before the cancer, and he's still an asshole with the cancer. nothing has changed except for the fact that he has tumours growing inside him and he visits the hospitals more frequently now.
my patience has run out, and i just want to live my life for me, not for other people. my life purpose is not to serve other people, my life purpose is not to be an emotional sponge soaking up other people's problems and emotions and giving them everything i have to fix it until i have nothing left inside me. that is not my life purpose. my life purpose is to make me happy, it's to make my cat happy, it's to live a good fulfilling life with kind thoughtful and funny friends.
So, am I a bad person for not wanting to support my mother even though my dad is the one supporting her and he might die soon?
submitted by sleepykittenxx
to TwoHotTakes [link] [comments]
2023.04.24 11:09 anjani_gummadi Child Specialist in Hyderabad – Dr. Anjani Gummadi
Child Specialist in Hyderabad
Anjani Gummadi is a truly well-known and Stylish Pediatrician in Hyderabad. She has more than eight Or more times of involvement and till currently served north of 1000 Blissful Cases and guardians. We understand a parent, it is a little delicate to find the Stylish Pediatrician for their chick. Fortunately, we've. Anjani finished her MD in Pediatrics and DM from the lofty establishment of India, PGIMER.
She is truly compassionate with her cases and family, easily approachable, and friendly. She strives to make early judgments and give the swish treatment the foremost. She also has multitudinous publications in public and international scientific journals and awards to her credit. With a strong passion for furnishing swish treatment to children, she is always keen on learning about newer conditions, and advances in treatment. She is the swish Child Specialist in Hyderabad. Advantages of Using a Board-Certified Pediatrician
At the point when a kid is conceived, another number is added to the parental speed dial. At the point when a youngster awakens his folks around midnight, there is one individual that they realize they can go to for the responses. When a new mom’s questions seem to be never-ending, there is one person she trusts to answer them entirely – the pediatrician.
Pediatricians provide unlimited services to many parents. Choosing a pediatrician is one of the most important decisions that a parent will make for his or her child.
Especially during the first few years of a child’s life, a pediatrician provides vital services, such as immunizations, wellness care, emergency care, and the calming of parental fears. Parents are advised to ask many different questions of their pediatrician regarding general care philosophies, availability in emergencies, and hospital affiliation. Frequently, the main inquiry is ignored - is your pediatrician board confirmed?
Board-certified pediatricians can easily be found at. These pediatricians have completed 4 years of medical school and 3 years of pediatric residency.
Pediatric specialists will then complete 3 years of training in their chosen subspecialty. Once a pediatrician is in possession of an unrestricted state license to practice medicine, they may apply to the American Board of Pediatrics (ABP) to become board certified. According to the ABP, there is but one objective of the certifying board – to promote excellence in medical care for children and adolescents.
The ABP evaluates the credentials and examines the physicians applying for board certification as pediatricians. The purpose of certification is to assure the public that a pediatrician has successfully completed an accredited educational program and has been evaluated and tested.
The certified pediatrician has the knowledge, skills, and experience to provide high-quality care. A two-day exam assesses the pediatrician’s knowledge of general comprehensive pediatrics and the understanding of basic science. The recertification process required every seven years ensures that a pediatrician is updated on the changes in children’s health care.
Board certification is purely voluntary, yet most pediatricians seek certification. When the board ensured, a pediatrician is qualified to turn into an individual from the American Foundation of Pediatrics (AAP). The AAP resembles the ABP in that it is focused on the physical, mental, and social soundness of all babies, kids, teenagers, and youthful grown-ups. Individuals from the AAP who achieve full enrolment become Colleagues of the AAP. For example, John Does, M.D., F.A.A.P. is a Fellow of the AAP.
According to Philip Atkin, M.D., F.A.A.P, a pediatrician in private practice at the Omaha Children’s Clinic, having board certification demonstrates a certain knowledge base, as does being a Fellow of the AAP. These pediatricians get indispensable instructive and support materials on current clinical issues. A network is formed of pediatricians for the exchange of information and advice on childhood issues. It can be said that the care of one board-certified pediatrician is really the care and knowledge of many pediatricians.
A child’s pediatrician provides much more than just medical attention. The well-being of children and adolescents is heavily dependent on the home and family life. According to, childhood requires nurturing and care, not only by the parents but by a qualified and certified pediatrician. Through training and understanding, board-confirmed pediatricians address all worries that influence a youngster's physical and profound development.
These highly educated pediatricians have taken on the responsibility in their communities of being advocates for the rights of children. They acknowledge and respect the important position in which their career has placed them.
The ABP’s certification process requires that board-certified pediatricians display not only a thorough knowledge of medicine and science but other important skills as well. Patient care, communication skills, and professionalism are also required of the pediatric office. A board-certified pediatrician is required to provide high-quality health care that is cost-effective and patient-orientated.
There are several competencies that pediatricians must demonstrate in order to become board certified. Their medical knowledge must show that they know and can critically evaluate patients based on current medical information and scientific evidence for patient care. They must also show a willingness to learn from their errors. The necessities are all joined to show that board-confirmed pediatricians are open, educated, mindful, and capable.
While general practitioners, family physicians, and nurse practitioners are all qualified to provide health care for children, keep in mind that children have very different health and behavioral needs.
Board-confirmed pediatricians have the most far-reaching clinical preparation to answer these necessities. When a child needs specific care, many board-certified pediatricians specialize in areas such as ophthalmology, allergy, mental health, or dermatology, to name a few.
Utilizing a board-confirmed pediatrician offers a parent solace in realizing that the kid's consideration is in the best hands. During the principal long periods of life, a kid has some requirements. Board-certified pediatricians have the latest information on immunizations, viruses, and infections.
From simple questions regarding when to start solid foods to more complicated issues such as ear infections, the pediatrician can answer all parental questions. When there is an emergency, the pediatrician can treat the situation with ease. A parent can be sure that his or her child is receiving care based on the highest standard available.
There are many issues a parent must think about when choosing a pediatrician. The first step is to find a listing of board-certified pediatricians in their area. These can be found through websites, such as which helps parents locate board-certified pediatricians at no cost. From this list, parents can find the best possible care for their children.
Next, a parent should communicate with the pediatrician’s office and set up an interview with the pediatrician. During this interview, the parent should ask questions about care doctrines, emergency vacuity, and sanitorium cooperation. The parent should ask about the doctor’s education, length of practice, board instrument, and special medical interests.
In addition to questions and answers, the parent should observe how well the doctor listens, the amount of time the doctor spends the sense of trust, and whether he or she takes interest in the family’s home life. Parents are bombarded with information and advice from multitudinous different sources grandparents, parents, buddies, and strangers.
There is the advice offered on every subject imaginable – resting, eating, bathing, and discipline. It is hard for a parent to know who to trust when there is non-concurring advice far and wide, they turn. A board-certified pediatrician understands and offers advice that can be trusted. Board-certified pediatricians give exemplary care to children of all ages. They have the resources available through the AAP and the ABP that help them with staying up to date on the bottommost medical advances in the area of pediatrics.
They not only are well educated, but through board instruments, they show amenability to exceed in their chosen field. A child’s health is precious.
Parents must find someone that they can completely trust to give medical care to their children. The advantages of using a board-certified pediatrician are numerous. They are well-educated, professional, and minded. Board-certified pediatricians are at the top of their field, furnishing high-quality care for children across the country.
All children become ill at some point in their lives. Whether it is a mild or serious illness or injury, a parent can find peace in knowing that a board-certified pediatrician is always ready for any situation. Why Do You Need a Pediatrician?
Pediatricians are doctors who specialize in furnishing immature people with the medical attention they bear, from the moment they are born, up until the time they come grown-ups. Also, they will treat children with special conditions. colorful clinical experts, who represent considerable authority in treating youths, work each alone. While different experts will work close by a greater clinical group. Such a team might include fresh nurses, doctors, therapists, assistants, and several other medical experts.
They survey their cases and settle on the state of their well-being, alongside their turn of events and development. They are largely trained and suitable, for determining medical conditions. Also, they can diagnose asthma, diabetes, transmittable conditions, and cancer. moreover, regular irregularities can be straightforwardly surveyed by a pediatrician, alongside trial issues.
Following opinion, a child's doctors will determine the type of treatment which is most applicable, and decide if the immature case ought to be transferred to see a specialist. The Significance of Pediatric Care Pediatrics is an immensely important field of medicine because there are health considerations with children that are not a factor with grown-ups. In fact, it is prudent to flashback that children are not" infinitesimal grown-ups".
They suffer an array of emotional, cognitive, and physical changes from the time they are born, to the time they reach maturity. Pediatricians have the training to help families during the normal periods of development and to diagnose any lower obvious abnormalities which might arise. Consequently, the treatment styles for child cases bear little resemblance to the styles used on grown-ups.
piecemeal from enjoying the correct training and moxie, a doctor who spends significant time on the affections of youths and children must be great at managing these age gatherings. For illustration, they must display compassion, kindness, forbearance, understanding, and a good sense of humor. Also, they must be suitable to relax their cases and make them smile.
The maturity of pediatrician treatment apartments and staying apartments will have a bright, cheerful cinema on the wall and a generous force of books and toys for children to play with. This always helps to put nervous and scarified little minds at rest. constantly, a doctor who specializes in children will write conventions and define treatments and medicines for their cases. also, they can organize any tests to be finished as they admit to being applicable. Cases of this include lab tests, like urine analysis and blood- shafts, and other types of individual protocols.
Pediatrics is grounded on correspondence between the case and the doctor. in any case, correspondence between the guardians and the specialist is a fundamental variable too. A pediatrician will play their part in training parents on the goods they should know about keeping their children healthy and preventing ails. Likewise, a pediatrician will tell guardians the stylish way to treat their youths when they truly do really come sick.
Several doctors who work with small children serve as counsels for other doctors in the same medical field. Also, it is common for doctors who specialize in children to inform other doctors in the medical services calling about their area of spunk and educate clinical researchers who wish to seek a pediatric vocation. No child enjoys a visit to the doctor
still, a professed pediatrician will reduce the torture. Be that as it may, and who has a decent station, you will in any event lessen the solicitude your child goes through, if you can descry a medical professional who gets on well with children. Flashback, multitudinous doctors set up training and focus exclusively on treating young people which is as it should be.
For parents, implanting a confident and comfortable perception in your child about medical issues ranks among the most precious goods you can ever do for them. The Advantages of a Specialized Adviser Whilst certain families conclude to have each member of their ménage visit the same doctor, there are a couple of unequivocal advantages to using a pediatrician.
In error to other clinical sedulity experts, they concentrate the wholeness of their perspiration and grit on the strength of youths. They have a vast knowledge about everything from growing pains to the most recent vaccinations. Due to this, if anything is bothering your son or son, and you are not certain whether it is serious, a pediatrician is the ideal person to turn to. Albeit all kiddies are unique, they are virtually original enough to be applicable to profit from some expert sprat clinical grit. in any case, you are provisioning the person in question with the event to concede a style of clinical consideration that is concentrated on them, assuming you take your sprat to see a decent pediatrician.
For case, multitudinous doctors who specialize in children realize that utmost children will not want to visit their office, particularly for an injection. in this manner, there are styles for conversing with youths about what will do, why they must make it be, and the impacts they ought to anticipate once it happens. In boob, whenever an adult goes to a game plan for implantation, the enhancement of clinical specialists is not extremely upset about empowering them to be there.
Once a child has had a nice experience with any kind of medical treatment or labor force, it will make visiting the office of the unborn commodity not shocking, or worth being nervous about. It starts a trend that they will (immaculately) take into the majority. still, also cast your mind back to the medical movables of your early non age, if you are still not convinced about how big an impact commodity like this can have.
Consider whether the interests you mate with this are negative or positive and whether this has had any bearing on the station you have to these clinical movables now. Due to the largely focused nature of the work carried out by pediatricians, the ultimate of them will know all about the bottommost developments in medical care for children.
occasionally, new drugs are released that are much better at treating certain conditions than anything else that has gone ahead. Also, sometimes it is discovered that a particular kind of medicine makes an illness worse, rather than better.
The probability is that a child doctor will know all about this and be suitable to bear these vital details with you, so your family can reap the benefits. still, also suppose about reserving a visit, if you are yet to take your child to a medical professional who specializes in the well-being of youths. Like that, you will be applicable to see with your own eyes whether there are any prominent contrasts and whether changing over to a pediatrician will be worth it for you.
kiddies Must Be Defended Among those who are prone to strep throat, kiddies are the bones that need close attention because they cannot really understand what's passing in their bodies and they're dependent on others to deal with it. This is the reason, guardians should know about the variables that carry lift to it, its side goods, and the moves toward taking to dispose of it.
Only through having the right information can you avoid it or find treatment for it the moment it manifests. Strep throat arises with the presence of the bacteria that belong to the group A streptococcus, which also causes scarlet fever. They generally target the throat and nose, so they can be fluently transferred by sneezing, coughing, and hand contact. Therefore; you must make sure that you educate your kiddies to cover their tips and mouth whenever they or other people cough or sneeze and be purposeful in tutoring proper hand washing.
It is not veritably easy to descry strep throat. kiddies who have this may parade symptoms that can make you confuse it with other common conditions, simply because the signs are not that unusual.
Below are some of the conditions that way indicate the presence of this disease - Fever that reaches advanced than 38.3 degrees Celsius -blown tonsils - Swollen lymph bumps along the neck - Headache - Difficulty swallowing - Loss of appetite - Hoarseness - perversity - White and red patches on the throat The symptoms over are not unique to this condition, which is why; you must no way self- rehabilitate.
When you see them appearing, just bring your kiddies to the pediatrician. The presence of the bacteria is vindicated by performing tar testing. Once diagnosed, antibiotics will be specified to exclude them and if there are other conditions present, similar as fever, the doctor will also recommend remedies for them. Away from these, you can also make the child feel more by giving soft foods like haze and a lot of fluids, especially water. It is surely not easy having strep throat.
kiddies can be veritably perverse when they've it because it can beget extreme vexation. Hence, you must start guarding them indeed before it happens by learning all that you can help it as well as learning the conduct to take when it arises. Having knowledge gives you the power to be on top of effects, especially those that concern your family. Fever in Children - What You Should Know
Among the health conditions that you must be aware of if you have kids, is scarlet fever. Scarlet fever in kids is a common phenomenon and often, it is mistaken for other illnesses because of its symptoms, which include:
- abdominal pains
- sore throat
- loss of appetite
Scarlet fever in kids occurs as a result of being infected by a certain strain of the group A streptococci bacteria, which also brings about strep throat.
Upon exposure to it, the bacteria will be in incubation for one to seven days and then the first signs of the illness will appear. It usually begins with a fever of around 38.3 degrees Celsius or 101 degrees Fahrenheit and a sore throat. Other symptoms listed above may or may not manifest. The rash will only appear approximately two days after the onset of fever and would have a texture like that of sandpaper and can be very itchy.
When you see the above symptoms occurring in your child, go to your pediatrician immediately for a check-up. In determining whether it is indeed scarlet fever, the child would have to undergo swab testing to check if the strep bacteria are present.
When it is confirmed, antibiotics will be prescribed by the doctor, which should be administered for around 10 days. You must be very keen in following the instructions given by the pediatrician, especially regarding the length of time the antibiotics must be taken so that you can be assured that the bacteria are eliminated.
Scarlet fever in kids can cause a lot of inconvenience. Thus, during the disease, you can give your child lots of fluid and soft food like soup, shakes, and ice cream, to soothe the throat. It is also advisable to make them drink a lot of water to help lower their temperature.
This condition is contagious, which is why; if you or someone in your home has it, do not let kids come near you because they can be easily affected. If your kids are already attending school, advise them not to go near people with coughs, colds, fevers, or rashes. If your child is the one with the fever, better make them stay at home rather than get other people contaminated with the same.
Although scarlet fever is not a fatal disease, taking it for granted can cause serious complications. So, if you see the symptoms, go to your doctor immediately.
Fever in children is a necessary and healthy part of every child's growth. Yet few people fully understand the important role of fevers and most parents are fearful of them. This is understandable because most doctors are also unaware of their importance. But fevers help to build a healthy immune system.
A fever is a way the body throws out an invading pathogen. It is a healthy immune response. A healthy child can throw out a short-lived but violent fever. This can be scary to watch, but only a healthy immune system has the energy for this very active process.
A child with low immunity will never be able to throw a violent fever. They often have a low-grade fever that will carry on for an extended period.
They are the mopes. They may whine and are generally miserable. Normally, their bodies are unsuccessful at throwing out the pathogen, which a healthy immune system can so easily do.
Medical treatment of fevers still consists of suppressing them, thereby preventing the body's natural healing action. The invading pathogen is allowed to stay, setting up the potential for chronic disease. Antipyretics, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, and other fever suppressants are often misused simply for a higher-than-normal temperature.
Ancient wisdom knew the importance of fever in children especially. People knew that a fever would rise to its height, then break, not unlike the wave action of the sea. After a fever, you can see that a child has had a growth spurt - either physically or emotionally, sometimes both.
A fever is defined by the oral temperature exceeding 38ã¬C (i00.4ã¬F). A fever is not a disease. It is a healthy immune response. There is no evidence to suggest that fevers cause a worsening of any illness or long-term neurological complications.
It is important to maximize the comfort of the patient during a fever and to ensure they are well hydrated. These measures support the body in its efforts. The patient, if old enough to tell you, will make it very clear what they want during a fever. One mother told me that her child simply wanted his parents in the same room while it lasted. An infant may not be able to speak, but they will communicate what they want through body language. Some mothers instinctively know what their child wants. Learn to be observant.
The homeopathic treatment of fevers supports the body's best efforts, increasing the effectiveness of the immune response. This means that the fever can be safely treated by increasing the effect of the immune response.
One homeopathic group in South America is working on the treatment of cancer with the typical fever remedies used in homeopathy. They are getting excellent results, thus showing the link between suppressing fevers in childhood to chronic disease later in life. Understand that a fever in children is a healthy immune response. Fevers help to build a healthy immune system. Respect them, but do not fear them. How To Reduce Kid's Fever
Generally, a body temperature over 101 degrees F is known as a high fever in kids. It is important to control the rising temperature in infants. To do this, cold water sponging of the head and whole body should be done till the temperature starts coming down, otherwise, there are chances of other complications like fits if the temperature shoots up.
Even during sponging or later fit starts, lay down the baby on the stomach by putting a pillow under the stomach to prevent choking during vomiting. The fits or vomiting may continue few seconds. If these symptoms occur, you must rush to the doctor or call him home. Meanwhile, the sponging should be continued with cold water. You should also keep on giving cold water to the baby sip by sip. The cold water helps to control the body temperature.
The clothing of the baby should not be heavy and he should not be covered with a blanket etc. Only light shirts and shorts are fine otherwise the infant will feel extra heat in the body.
Paracetamol is a globally accepted medicine for fever and inflammation. It helps to keep the body temperature controlled during high fever. It is available in the form of syrup and tablets both. Syrup can be given to the patient in intervals of four hours. Doses of Paracetamol are given according to the body weight and age of the infant. Generally, it is mentioned in the syrup bottle. A few drops to 2-spoonful doses are given to the infants as per their age.
The body temperature should be checked with a thermometer within 30-minute intervals. Checking the temperature every five to ten minutes is useless. If the infant is not able to put the thermometer into the mouth, then the armpit temperature should be checked. The correct body temperature is 1 degree F over the armpit temperature of the infant.
The kids should not be given heavy food during fever. Only liquids that are easy to digest should be given. Water, coffee, fruit juices, soups, etc can be given. The tongue of the baby may not feel the taste of foods and beverages, so he may reject unpalatable foods. In this case, those items which are liked by the kid should be given patiently by the parents.
If you are taking the baby to the hospital or doctor, it is better to take him very carefully in a closed vehicle or car and try to avoid any physical discomfort to the child. Having Kids Check for Fevers is Important
The normal body temperature in humans might vary slightly, but it does remain at approximately 98.6°F. Temperature, if taken rectally will be 1°F higher. Hence doctors consider a body temperature of 99.4°F as a fever when the temperature is taken orally. If it is taken rectally then fever is had at 100.4°F. Infants and children under four years of age have their temperature taken rectally. Children above four years of age have their temperature checked orally. If an infant has a fever above 100.5°F or if the child is above three years old and has a body temperature above 102°F then under both these circumstances they should be rushed to the hospital immediately.
Both digital and mercury thermometers are available in the market. Digital thermometers are advisable as they are more accurate as compared to mercury thermometers. Also, mercury thermometers are toxic and pose a health risk to the family. Before and during the time of taking the children's body temperature, parents must take care of a few things. Firstly, the parent must know what kind of thermometer he or she wants to use and whether that thermometer is meant for use orally or rectally. Before the child's body temperature is checked, the parent must ensure to see to it that the child is not bundled up very tightly.
The whole procedure of taking the temperature of the child should be closely monitored by the parents. Before inserting the thermometer into the infant's rectum, its tip should be covered with petroleum jelly, as the infant might experience pain during the process. Also, only half of the length of the thermometer should be inserted. Children drop the thermometer and so it should be removed as soon as the temperature is taken. After use, the thermometer should be washed with cold water and soap.
The body becomes feverish when it is fighting off an infection. When the child aches in different parts of the body and becomes fussy, the child should be given medicines then only. Depending on the child's needs, age, and weight medicines for children are available. Before giving any medicines to the child the parents should check the recommended dosage chart on the pack of the medicine. The doctor should be consulted immediately if there is any confusion. Some over-the-counter medicines for children are Acetaminophen, Ibuprofen, and Tylenol. Acetaminophen given just before a warm bath helps decrease fever.
No alcohol products should be used while bathing. The child might begin to shiver and the body temperature might increase if the child is given a bath without Acetaminophen.
One medicine that is not advisable for children is Aspirin as it may cause Reye's syndrome in the child. In children having chicken pox or flu, not more than five doses should be administered within twenty-four hours. Infants less than four months of age should not be administered any medicine at all unless advised by the physician. A cap-like measuring device should be used along with the liquid medicine. If you do not get the device with the medicine, you can get it at any medicine store. The dropper should be filled till the marked line and then drops should be administered.
Side effects like dry mouth, quick internal heat level change, ear infection, conduct changes, regular loose bowels and heaving, pallor, seizures, skin rashes, extreme cerebral pains, sore throat, enlarged joints, touchiness, high pitch crying, not feeling hungry, stiff neck, stomach ache, whimpering, wheezing, limpness, and breathing problems need the doctor's immediate attention. The child must be made to wear comfortable cotton to let the body breathe and he should be given fluids constantly to combat dehydration. Picking The Ideal Pediatrician - What You Want to Inquire
Your new baby needs an advocate and that person is you! Advocating for your child's wellness will be an ongoing project throughout their early years. Starting before they are born by choosing the perfect pediatrician will ensure your child is taken care of the way you see fit. Thinking On It
Before combing the internet or asking other parents for their advice, begin by compiling your own personal vision of wellness. Include aspects such as, how you came to choose your own doctors, whether are you satisfied with your personal experiences at their offices and under their care, what type of care is most important to you, whether you were under their care for an emergency, and how was it handled. If you answer in a less than attractive way to any of these, then jot down notes off to the side that reflects how you would have liked the situation handled or how you would like to see your care improved.
How we care for ourselves is often reflected in how we care for our children. This list you have compiled will be a guide, helping you choose who cares for your child's wellness and how. There are other considerations to shape your decision as well. The Basics
We once based our choices on how long the doc was in practice and if they had a really big practice, yet today, trends are changing. Older doctors may not have the expertise or exposure to new research and methods that newer, younger physicians do (not to say that this is the case for all doctors of course). A more patient-focused, smaller practice environment has become quite attractive when putting our faith into the physician's hands these days as well. A few of the basics you will need to know just for the sake of practicality:
Is the physician affiliated with a practice encompassing several other physicians?
At what hospitals or facilities does the physician have privileges?
Will my physician be available after hours and if so in what capacity (phone or in person)?
Are there diagnostics on site?
What are the fees and does this physician accept insurance?
Now that you've covered the basics, it's time to ensure that your list of values and vision of wellness best reflects how your child will be cared for by their healthcare professionals. The following conjures up the possibilities you will want to consider when choosing. I generally suggest interviewing several pediatricians with a short meeting before making your choice. Reflecting a Vision of Wellness
Getting to know your pediatrician from the get-go is the best-case scenario. Your child is going to go through many changes between birth and 18.
Developing a relationship will naturally increase your trust and confidence in your physician's care. A good physician knows this and will try to provide care that reflects both your child's needs and your family's values. So, what type of care will your child be receiving throughout their early years?
More and more families are opting for integrative health care rather than leaving it all in one physician's hands. In my own practice, I refer and forth with pediatricians, doulas, midwives, acupuncturists, chiropractors, bogy’s, osteopaths, and child developmental specialists all of the time. Many parents enjoy a renewed sense of confidence and trust knowing that their child's providers have developed relationships and are willing to confer on health matters.
If you are choosing an integrative approach to wellness for your family, discuss this at your first meeting with the pediatrician or at your interview. You will want to get a strong feel for their willingness to work with other physicians and what their level of understanding is concerning the other modalities your child will potentially be receiving. When signing the HIPAA forms at my office, patients fill out a special section that lists all their other providers.
If I need to speak to or confer with these physicians on behalf of my patients' wellness I can easily arrange this. Ask your pediatrician to draw up a form that says they will make themselves available to your child's other providers. Find the Stylish Pediatricians
Pediatricians play a truly important part in the life of your child. They work in treating youngsters and know precisely how significant and what kind of medicine will suit the child. Although adult doctors too can treat a youth, it is influential to counsel a youth-trained professional.
They will be in a better position to anatomize and diagnose a complaint compared to any other doctor. likewise, they know how to manage a sprat and the parent. piecemeal from this reason, it may be noted that your child or child needs a child specialist since his body is not fully developed like a grown-up's.
The obvious body size difference leads to differences in the internal organs and their functioning. Pediatricians are trained and can take up further training as primary care doctors, furthermore, clinically trained professionals, and spend significant time in the field of kid grievances. So, if you have a baby in the house or are looking for one, likewise begin searching for unique pediatricians. You must consider some rates before consulting a childcare specialist.
In this composition, we shall bat some rates of a good doctor. rates forbearance- This is a truly important virtue, that a doctor must retain. Dealing with a child's case is not easy. It can be truly delicate to handle a cranky or sacrificed child. also, it is more delicate to handle anxious parents.
As a parent, you might get worried and bear constant assurance from pediatricians. This can make their job delicate. It can disturb the chain of study of a doctor and may intrude on his capability to diagnose the complaint or study the case in detail. latterly, you should find pediatricians who are veritably quiet and patient.
Hot-headed doctors will only worsen the situation. instrument- It is important to choose board-certified pediatricians. This way you should rest assured that the doctor has a clean record. It also means that he is not a swindler and is certified to treat babies and children. As a matter of fact, you can likewise check with the Organization of State Clinical Wastes to check whether there is any body of substantiation against the pediatricians.
Experience And internship- The chosen doctor should have numerous times of experience either in practice or through an internship. You can check these details at his clinic. doctors generally display their instruments in their conventions. also, on the off chance that you have any inquiries, go ahead, and ask the staff. dinkum pediatricians will not mind if you check analogous details. After all, it is the question of your child, and you would not like to take any risks.
Keep these goods in mind while choosing a doctor for your child. still, if you are not completely satisfied after consulting the pediatricians, also do not stagger to take an alternate opinion. still, also there is no detriment in consulting another doctor If you feel that the doctor is not treating the child properly or does not pay attention to your enterprises.
To Know more information about Child Specialist in Hyderabad
Vengal rao Building,
Road No. 12,
beside Karur Vysya Bank,
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2023.04.06 03:57 Struggle_Slight Is it worth seeking a diagnosis or am I just overthinking?
TLDR: very conflicted lol
I'm not making this to be diagnosed by people on reddit and nor have I sought to self-diagnose. I just want some advice on whether I should look into seeing a specialist or not, since I really can't decide at the moment. I was in absolute denial for years and refused to think about it or connect dots but its kind of hard to ignore at this point haha
I'm 18 at the moment and I'd say I'm naturally quite smart and I can pay attention well enough in classes so thats not an issue for me, since I know everyone can get distracted from time to time. My productivity is just completely wild though, since I have weeks of absolutely no motivation and then suddenly I get a months worth of studying done in one night. I've heard this is just called "chaotic productivity" so again, probably nothing.
Sensation-wise, theres a good few of them that just send my body into uncontrollable fight-or-flight (eg. head-massagers, wet sponge, wearing nail polish) and I'm not sure if thats normal since my friends have called me weird for it lol. I also had a tik-tok self-diagnosed friend saying I was ticcing because my shivers are so violent, never wanted to off myself so much in my life after hearing that,,, we aren't friends anymore because of that kinda stuff 💀
In terms of "fixations", mine have been valorant (cripplingly bad), campervan conversions, japanese overnight/luxury trains and even my own hair lol (there's probably been more but these are on rotation tbh). They can genuinely get in the way of studying/homework and basically drive my procrastination, but again I just think that's normal with gen-z brain rot culture.
I often go on complete auto during conversations and forget the whole thing two minutes later, not to mention how many times I forgot what I'm doing or why. My boyfriend is diagnosed with ASD and OCD and makes jokes saying I'm "obviously autistic" which, although they make me uncomfortable at times, they make me wonder tbh. A lot of people have said he and I are "as stupid as eachother" which is funny but he doesn't pick up on cues for an actual reason haha
okay TW // self-harm
From 11-15 I aggressively cut myself almost every night and was very attention-seeking (of which I was aware of and tried my hardest to keep it to myself). The reason I'm mentioning this is because I didn't and still don't know the cause of it. The only reason I even stopped was because I was developing really bad body issues from the scars. When I went to hospital for it they just said it was due to grief but I could tell that wasn't the case, despite having no other ideas on the reasons behind it. They didn't follow up with counselling or any help so, guess that wasn't going anywhere anyway.
!!skip here to avoid SH!!
I understand that posting this is quite immature, but the waiting lists for assessments and diagnoses can be around 2 years here in the UK and I'd struggle to pay for private treatment. If people think I should seek specialist attention I will give it a go, if not I'll just forget it and get over myself lol
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2023.04.03 14:13 TotallyACP think about it
2023.03.31 05:23 rlziwcybbm 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦
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Processing gif 8bterphytzqa1...
“Not me…I love my husband and I would never think of cheating on him,” Catherine proclaims in an incensed manner.
She pulled her shoes on, picked up her coat and exited the house. Tears once again streamed down her face as she ran down the garden path. She paused, and looked back at the house sadly.
first. We flipped for who got who. We both won. You could
Juliana was wearing her blue mini dress and sandals. Her hair was neatly braded in a tight rope down her back. She also had a summer hat with a black ribbon though she was not currently wearing this but had it near by. She was ready for a day in the summer sun.
Gloria realized she had only pulled her zipper down and Darlene was naked except for the bra that her tits were overflowing. "Is that how you know my sister, gym class?" Gloria asked and shoved her pants and underwear down with feigned confidence.
Her face turned up and she gave him what looked to be a very painful ass nipple twister. “Say it!”
“I went to visit Michael’s parents. I delicately steered the conversation towards her son. After a few glasses of wine, she confided that she and her husband couldn’t conceive, no matter how much they tried. After a series of medical tests, it was discovered that she was infertile, and there was no hope of her ever having a baby. Sometime later, they started talking about adopting a baby and that’s how they got Michael. Donald had been right; Michael is not their biological son!
“Wow.” I said. I leaned into her and whispered into her ear, “You must’ve really wanted it, seeing as how you came just from me inserting my dick inside of you.”
looking like she was totally relaxed. Dan was asleep in the
“I thought you said this was going to be quick. I’ve gotta get to school.”
Tyler reached his hand out and groped her right tit, then reached his other hand out and began fondling both. He squeezed and played with them, for a few seconds, then started to pinch and roll Rikki’s nipples. Rikki let out a little whimper and roller her head back. It felt SO good. Rikki always had sensitive nipples and would love to play with them all the time. She even would get close to cumming, just from playing with her tits sometimes.
"I'll turn around and sit like this."
and slide her off of me
He raises an eyebrow, “Luke and Leia? Did you… did you name your tits after Star Wars characters?”
She suddenly looked at me with a hunger in those beautiful eyes; telling me what she intends.
"YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS SIR OR MASTER, GOT THAT?" I commanded.
Superman even though he'd run into kryptonite. He knew Deana loved him. She gave him her
“I’ll speak with you again tomorrow night Sweetheart,” she replies before closing down her computer.
I was nervous. I looked around the shower and watched the water drip off his hair and on to my boobs. I slid my hand around his boxers and gave them a tug and they fell to the floor. He picked them up and threw them outside the shower.
Gloria shook her head. “He's your little brother. You probably had to give him baths while you babysat.”
crazy.feeling kinda silly he look for
Hannah answered, “Because this way you were really mad at me and you spanked me good.” She laughed and added, “I might not be able to sit down for a week though.”
“If you ask me they couldn’t hold a candle to you. They look, well, artificial, and not just their breasts, but … I can’t really explain it. While they may be considered sexy, the fact that they will do practically anything with anyone for pay lowers my opinion of them from pretty to prostitute. In fact, when I am looking at the magazines I have come to automatically replace them with you especially while reading the stories. Oh shit! I shouldn’t have said that!”
"Oh, by the way -- Mike," his dad continues. "That girl came by again, while you were out. She left something for you. It's right there." He points to a large bag at the bottom of the staircase, filled with what looked like clothing.
“Geez, why didn’t you get dressed inside?” I ask her.
“I have brother who’s 14 years older than I, he and I have a father in common. He hates my Mom and he really didn’t appreciate Dad remarrying. My parents got married Valentine’s Day 1984. Mom’s twin brother videotaped their wedding on a Betamax videotape of all things. Shortly after Quicktime came out, that same uncle got the video cleaned up and had a quicktime version put on a two large hard drives… about 2.5 megabyte each (that's how far back that tape to digital was).”
‘You look fabulous, Ellie.’ He reassured her.
“Hi there,” she said, “I was hoping you could help me find a product…hold on I’m not sure of the name…let me root around in here for my list.”
“That’s ok.” said Alex. We been wanting to talk to you today.”
“Well I’m here on behalf of your mother Guy,” the suit tells me as we both sit down.
“Honestly that was the best fuck I’ve ever had.” She said.
“Where are you going,” Dad asks halting any chance I had of getting outside.
He was wrong. She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss. John was caught off guard by the sudden kiss and the weight of her body being thrown at him. It took about a second for his mind to comprehend what was happening, but when it finally kicked n, he put his arms around her and returned the kiss.
A couple of weeks later Peggy slipped into bed with me. She said that she was horny. She wanted me to fuck her. I asked her if that rape was her first time. Peggy giggled and told me that she had lost her virginity to Billy last summer and that she had let him fuck her every day until he moved in the springtime. She even knew that he had fucked her two hundred and fifty-three times and that she had given him forty-eight blowjobs. She had even given Billy anal sex once a month for ten months. When Mom’s boyfriend had butt-fucked her, she was actually enjoying it and she had a wonderful orgasm just as the police entered her bedroom. She was glad that he couldn’t pull out until she was done.
“Mmm?” moaned the surprised teen as she felt that long, slimy tongue of his slither past her lips. He immediately started exploring her oral cavity, not giving her any time to react.
Maria walked over to Terri and hugged her again, “Well, I think that you should come with me and douche yourself and then we will go to the pharmacy and get the morning after pill for you just to make sure you have no chance of getting pregnant.”
“Ok I think you had enough, just remember this next time you get on my bad side,” Stephanie said.
"Right now snoopy!" he turned and walked down the stairs talking as he went.
"Nothing you won't want to do," she smiles.
graduated from high school together.”
“Only in pictures.”
He seemed more than satisfied with my ass kissing answer, but I only tried to sound sincere. I didn’t want to lose this job and be sent home to mommy and daddy after my first day. Bob explained to me that we work a twelve hour day on Saturdays. Saturday night we tear down our tents and pack-up and head to the next town on the itinerary. I was beginning to understand. After a quick breakfast down at he same diner I visited last night, I was ready to open for business. After breakfast I saw Bob again and he told me that I could get reduced price meals at the ‘grease pit’.
Cinnamon said, “I don’t think I want any of that, especially all by myself!”
“Because you keep making mistakes Amy. Despite your foul history, I didn’t feel pleasure in hurting you. I’m not a sadist.”
Randi was getting hotter by the minute. She, herself, had never experienced the feel of lips massaging her neck. It, alone, was considerably nice. And then there was the matter of her tender girlhood, which was now working in noticeable fashion through her panties and cotton shorts against Michael 's hardening shaft. She could feel the wetness beginning to escape her little slit; coating her swollen lips and creating a little sheet of sliminess between her slit and her panties. This only worked to increase her youthful arousal - and she was quite past the point of no return, now.
The girls changed position so that one was kneeling inches away from my dick while another girl took her turn at my face. After a few minutes, I had just about set her off.
“Yeah thanks for reminding me. Don’t worry, we’re gonna get her back for that,” she grinned.
“Yeah,” Grace shrugged. “What can I say? You’re the only one I mess around with outside of lunch, obviously.”
“You must try to keep this dry for the next two months. Then I’ll want to remove it so I can check your progress. We may be able then to put on something lighter. Sorry, but it’ll be sponge baths for you until this comes off.” He adjusted the crutches to fit me and assisted me down the hallway to my room. I sat in a chair for the very first time in almost a week. I’d never take that for granted again. I was sitting there when Rose rushed in from school. She was always at the hospital fifteen minutes after dismissal.
Before he could reply, the phone rang, and Jayda cleared her throat. As it rang a second and third time, she sighed and picked it up. The mood had been ruined—especially when your mother calls,—but at least they’d both gotten something out of it.
"You're not! Just put it in!"
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2023.03.23 07:35 imBackground789 need your opinion, can you guys sit still if your interested in a conversation? symptoms go away for a short time/reduce some days?
(18m) so iv been thinking i have adhd for a while and im diagnosed with ocd, the reason is because i have more problems than i can chalk up to ocd and anxiety.(and some mild depression atm) but i just had a conversation and i mentioned i could have adhd because i relate to almost everything i found online about adhd and don't think its asd because i would not qualify because my asd traits are not enough and i relate to adhd.
my mom and autistic/(adhd?) sister both think i have it but after my conversation im worried it could just be me and my traits and problems are just a mix of my ocd anxiety and bad unresolved character flaws that have ruined my life. and i really am just lazy undisciplined and a bad person, or that its my fault because i got addicted/obsessed with online stuff such as YouTube during my early teenage school years. and that im just extremely immature. however iv always had many of the traits however there appears to be conflicting traits as well.
like i played with lego and blocksand played toy worlds and took things apart/built things for HOURS flicked through/reading books ect but the moment im not interested i leave and im constantly seeking fun things to do. (even had maladaptive daydreaming.)
but how is it im so easily distracted and struggle to pay attention ect but then sometimes i have a clear head can concentrate have patience and all the symptoms disappear for a short space of time and i act nt? my mom says im a sponge for information but that im also very forgetful and struggle really bad with following through on instructions/forgetful.
like i almost sat still during an 30 min conversation and only started fiddling when i got a bit uncomfortable. however i was interested the whole time and thinking about what to say next thing to say (im lonely). i was obviously looking around though(at the birds but that's normal) basically he said that if i had adhd i wouldn't be able to sit still like i was able too and his adhd friend can't sit still, im confused because i don't seem normal/fit in compared to others, and if its not autism or adhd i must just be very quirky/gift(see things differently compared to the norm) but bad lazy impatient person.
could it just be that i can't regulate myself properly? like i really struggle with it sometimes. when i get uncomfortable/bored i fidget daydream wonder. can't regulate speech volume well. can't regulate emotions well cause my mind races so i turn it inward instead of outward. i can be very impulsive i blurt things out interrupt and play and act inappropriately sometimes, VERY EASILY EXCITED, but crash quick as well. i get carried away alot and can unintentionally rile myself up, and have obsession problems were i can't stop obsession over a topic are HAVE to KNOW OR SAY SOMETHING. OVERTALK TALK FAST OR REALLY SLOW, OVEREXPLAIN, GET SIDETRACT ADD UNNESSASARY DETAILS ect i used to over apologise when i was shy.
despite this i can be very intelligent at times, people a surprised at what i come up with. but also other times shocked at how immature/stupid i can be as well. it might be lack of sleep since a young age due to occasional sleep problems/disturbances
i hate uncertainty but this doesn't help my confidence/will to get tested for adhd
submitted by imBackground789
to ADHD [link] [comments]
2023.03.20 01:08 Trash_Tia Every October 1st, the eighteen year old's in my town go crazy for one night. We call it the Teen Purge.
If this was your decision.
What would you do?
Would you give in and surrender yourself to your fate and be comforted with the fact that you have saved billions of lives…
Have you ever been punished for something which wasn’t your fault?
It sucks, doesn’t it?
When I was in kindergarten Jonas Lockhart complained someone had stolen his milk and made such a big deal about it, kicking and screaming and stamping his feet, our teacher had strictly told us that none of us would be getting milk for the rest of the week until the thief came forward. They didn’t, obviously. We all knew you didn’t hide milk because it would get warm and lumpy. The culprit had quickly swigged the contents and cleverly hidden the evidence right under everyone’s nose.
So, our teacher kept her word and made sure none of us had milk for the rest of the week. Instead, she brought in apple juice boxes which tasted sour. That day would then go on to be labelled The Great Milk Incident and was the sole reason behind the genius idea to start marking names on each kid’s carton. I remember sitting cross legged on prickly carpet, squeezing my half-empty apple juice. I was seething.
It wasn’t fair, I wanted to cry out. It wasn’t fair that we all had to be punished for someone else’s stupid mistake. I had no idea how good I had it. I had the luxury of being a naïve child being able to wear rose tinted glasses and have no idea they were even shading my eyes, protecting me from a secret my town didn’t even try to hide. I was six when I realised life wasn’t as good as I thought, and milk thieves weren’t the only bad thing in the world. Noah Sharpe was the town’s golden boy and destined for an Ivy League. He was also my mother’s friend’s son, and he often came around to hang out and watch SpongeBob SquarePants with me after school.
I remember Noah had a great laugh and told jokes that made me spew milk out of my nose.
Noah Sharpe was my mother’s murderer.
And the worst part? He didn’t even know he was doing it, didn’t even have control over his actions.
That is what I was told, at least. I was told that Noah would never intentionally murder my mom.
I didn’t understand what was happening when mom locked all the doors one night and told me to hide under the kitchen table. I knew there was a certain day every year where I had to stay extra quiet and not go near the doors or windows—but mom had never told me to get under the table. She always protected me from figuring out what was really going on, from tearing off my rose tinted glasses and seeing reality for what it truly was. A town suffocated by a curse which turned the senior class into monsters.
And had recently taken hold of Littlewood’s golden boy.
I hadn’t been expecting Noah to break through the window along with three others. I recognised them as other seniors he hung out with. Poppy, who worked at the diner. She always gave me extra chocolate syrup on my sundae. Then there was Luce, our papergirl who always smiled at me widely and asked if there were fairies in my yard. I used to feel safe around them, enjoying their hissed conversation and giggles. I liked it when they came over to talk to me and complimented my Patrick Star shirt.
I didn’t understand why mom was so scared of them at first. The four of them looked exactly like the elder kid’s I knew, but something was wrong, and I was too young to see it. These kids were devil’s hiding in plain sight, monsters bleeding from the dark. Shadows with no faces.
Noah was the first to come through the door whistling a Disney song I automatically knew. You’ve Got A Friend In Me. Something ice cold slithered down my spine when I saw him swinging a carving knife around like he knew exactly how to use it.
His footsteps were slow and calculated, playful, as he stepped back and forth, laughing, calling out if anyone was home while mom pushed me under the table and stepped in front of it, blocking me from his view. I remember the gleam in his eye when he walked in and found my sobbing mother begging him to get back. I started to tell her it was Noah, and he’d never hurt us, even after catching his fingers tightening around the wooden handle of the knife. The twist in his lips knotted my tummy.
The friendly smile I’d known for most of my life was gone. Everything I knew of him was gone. Noah didn’t see me under the table the night he had grabbed my mother by the neck, wrenched her head back and sliced open her throat until she was spluttering and gurgling on her own blood.
The human mind is a strange thing. It will automatically try and block out potential trauma before you can fully register it, but there was no way I couldn’t. There was no way I couldn’t not see my mom being brutally slaughtered. Noah didn’t stop with her throat. He stabbed into her stomach until the teeth of the blade was slick red, and he was panting, laughing, giggling into my mother's hair.
I remember watching pooling red stain her prized carpet and wondering if she was going to get mad—and then realising my mom wasn’t moving. The three of them left after trashing my living room. The others bound out of the front door, while Noah grabbed our TV and flung it at the window, shattering the glass.
It was when the strangled cry escaped my lips, his head whipped around, dark eyes shining in the dim.
He didn’t even look at me.
Noah looked straight through me, his mouth breaking out into a monstrous grin. He was covered in her. Covered in my mother, startling red spattering his face and coating his hair. But he didn’t seem to care, instead revelling in it, in his own undoing. It was an insanity I didn’t know or understand or knew existed. But I knew it was him. It was all of him, everything that made the boy up, a lapse in lucidity and a madness twisting his expression into a monster I had imagined under my bed.
He scanned the kitchen for a moment, half lidded eyes flicking back and forth before bidding me a salute and diving out into the night. I stayed under the table until sunrise. Just like mom told me.
Every other year she’d treated it like a game. And I had been too blinded by excitement to realise it was a distraction. “Okay, Bee,” mom whispered into my hair through panicked breaths. “We’re going to play a… a fun new game.”
“What kind of game?” I asked, flinching when I felt her body seize up, her quivering hand coming to rest over my mouth.
There was a bang from outside, followed by laughter.
Mom ducked down lower, holding me tighter. So tight I thought I was going to suffocate against her woolly sweater. “We’re going to see how long we can stay under here,” she breathed. “And you have to stay extra, extra quiet, okay?”
With my mom’s phantom words ringing in my head, I buried my face in my knees and stayed as still and quiet as possible. I could hear them outside. Without mom to clamp her hands over my ears and block them out, they were in vivid clarity I couldn’t ignore or deny. Their war cries and whooping, cheering and laughing from boy’s and girl’s alike. Followed by screaming, the sound of a baseball bat shattering a windscreen and thundering footsteps as they ran past my house like animals. They noise bled into the night and then early hours. There was a girl’s voice at the door. She asked if there was anyone inside, and I opened my mouth to tell her my mommy was hurt.
That I was scared.
But she started laughing, and I could hear the crack of her head slamming into the hardwood. She didn’t stop. I wanted her to stop, but she continued, moving around the house, banging on the windows.
The girl never came inside, making it her goal to make sure I stayed stiff, paralysed to the spot.
The next day, the police found me. I couldn’t move. My mother’s blood was congealing on the carpet and the police officer wearing a forced smile took me away from my mom’s still body, and my trashed house, and I found myself living with my aunt.
I wanted to know why Noah and his friends had taken my mother away from me, but I was just kept in the dark and given lame excuses because apparently the truth was too much for a little kid to handle. So, I continued to live in the dark. I did notice days and weeks after my mom’s death, I didn’t see any elder kids. I usually saw them biking around town or in the diner talking over burgers and milkshakes, but there was no sign of them.
No sign of Noah.
The town had been turned upside down; store windows still smouldering from being set alight, crumbling house’s with their windows smashed through. There was a flower memorial in the town square, and then a candle lit vigil I was urged to attend. It wasn’t just my mom they had taken.
They had killed others too.
Other mom’s and dad’s.
But I couldn’t understand… why?
I got my answer a few years later.
When our mayor first told my third grade class about Littlewood’s curse, he used the example I gave you. The stupid milk story. I don’t know if a teacher had told him or maybe it was just a coincidence. I personally think it was to soften the blow. If you straight up tell a group of little kids that their fate is becoming twisted psychopath’s in eleven years, they’re going to freak out, and rightfully so. However, if you add something they recognise like putting on the voice of a well-known cartoon character or in his case, using the story of The Great Milk Incident as a metaphor, we would be more likely to understand.
And we did. Sort of.
I got the idea, anyway. He didn’t explain it very well, often tripping over his words and using manic hand gestures, but I managed to understand. After all, I desperately wanted an explanation behind my mother getting her throat slit by a boy I had trusted with my life—only for him and most of the older kid’s in town to vanish without a trace. Without repercussions for their actions. According to the mayor: October 1st, 1799, 20 eighteen-year-olds died in a tragic fire and their souls had refused to pass on, refused to forgive a town which let them die. So, these kids decided to take it out on us.
“See kids, sometimes you will get punished for things that are not your fault!” Our mayor had told us. “And that’s okay!”
It was a last “fuck you!” to future gen’s who had absolutely nothing to do with their death. It was the town’s people who screwed them over, so why were we in the firing line? It didn’t make sense to me.
The town didn’t call it a curse. We were supposed to call it a “phenomenon” but the deceased spirits of ancient kids who refused to die, filling every generation’s head and turning them into twisted psychopaths definitely wasn’t a phenomenon. We were cursed. They had turned Noah into my mother’s killer, and would do that every year following, including my class. The youth of our town were cursed to be murderers from sunset to sunrise, and what did we do? Nothing.
Because what could we do?
Leaving town wasn’t an option. Apparently, neighbouring towns were convinced it was some kind of virus which could spread.
So, anyone under the age of eighteen was stuck. Literally and figuratively. If we tried to leave, regardless of age, we were locked away in a room of white. I should know. I tried to skip town at the age of 10 and spent three months in a specialised hospital ward.
Which leads me to last year. October 2021. It was my 17th Teen Purge, and the first time I’d actually been caught up in it. I wouldn’t count the time when I was six. I was merely an observer, as I watched my mother butchered right in front of me. Noah and his class were identified as her killer’s, but as far as I knew, they had gotten a pass because it wasn’t technically their fault. I found out from my aunt that the senior class were shipped off quietly the morning of October 3rd to avoid complications. I never saw them again.
Which was a good thing. If I ever saw Noah’s face again, I knew I’d hurt him.
The child inside of me didn’t care about a stupid curse. I had still seen him kill mom with his own hand. His twisted smile and glittering eyes. As I grew up, I grew less frightened of The Teen Purge, and more curious. By the age of twelve, I was guarding my front door wielding a baseball bat. I only had a vague notion of self-defence, but if the door so much as rattled, I knew my cowardice would sent me hurtling up the stairs and barricading myself in my room. I didn’t think I’d ever wake up tied to a sun lounger with Olivia Rodrigo blasting in my ears, but I guess there’s a first for everything. That's what you get when you turn Gen Z into twisted psychos.
I had a vague memory of locking my aunt’s doors and windows as usual and giving her a hug before she left for the night shift. I went upstairs to my room, crawled into bed, and drifted off to the sound of Super Eyepatch Wolf’s most recent retrospective on a TV show I didn’t even watch.
I don’t remember them snatching me from my room. Just the aftermath, and a vague memory of a girl with a cheshire cat grin throwing my laptop against my bedroom wall. The Wonderland Smile. That’s what I’d pegged that look of insanity on their faces. I woke with a dull pounding in both my temples and the dizzying realisation I’d been thwacked from behind. A baseball bat, maybe? Or a lead pipe.
The guy’s shriek sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
Someone cranked the music louder and I was enveloped in a sense of utter surrealness pushing away the fog in my brain and my spinning head trying to jar itself off of its axis.
Maybe I had been infected with the Littlewood curse a year early, because hysterical guffaws of laughter were bubbling and brewing in my throat, threatening to let rip. I felt… honoured, in a way. I had actually been invited to a senior party. I’d been trying to sneak into one for three years and they had let me in for free. The bastards even escorted me themselves. If I was going to die before I was inevitably turned into a monster which would rip away an innocent life in my future—so be it, right?
Taking a moment to swallow my laughter when I really shouldn’t have been laughing in that situation, I assessed my surroundings. I was kneeling on something plastic, my bare knees stinging from stagnating in the same position.
I definitely wasn’t alone. I counted at least three pairs of hands bound to mine in what felt like jump rope, and something was stuck to my face. Silly string? I knew the stink from my childhood where I thought it was a good idea to spray silly string all over my aunt’s living room. There were also certain things I was trying to ignore. I’d been hit hard enough to send my brain spiralling, and the more I thought about the possibility of brain damage, I was just freaking myself out and imagining things. I was fine. The blood running down my chin and tainting my lips was normal—especially in a town like Littlewood where it was the norm to find cannibalised townies strung up around town like they were prizes. “Hey!” Someone was in front of me. I could feel their breath tickling my face. It stunk of rot.
“I said wakey, wakey!”
“What was that, Tarran?”
The sound of tape being ripped from flesh made me cringe. Tarran was a freshman boy who lived down the road from me.
“I said fuck you.”
He was met with hyena-like shrieks of laughter and I bowed my head, panting into uncomfortable stickiness against my lips.
Fuck. Was I really going to die?
When I finally managed to pry my eyes open, my vision was a confusing blur of nothing before I shook my head, hopefully dislodging my brain from the puddle of maple syrup it had rolled into.
As my vision returned slowly, I found myself staring at a pool of glittering water. It was an overwhelmingly beautiful sight—or maybe that was just concussion talking. Ignoring the boy crouched in front of me, I focused on gentle ripples of water glittering under hypnotising lights, a stray beer can floating on the surface. I was kneeling on a bright orange sun lounger with three other bodies uncomfortably pressed to mine and at least three layers of duct tape over my mouth.
The boy crouching in front of me was Tommy Nolan, a quiet senior on the school newspaper who looked like he was dying inside if you looked him directly in the eye. Under the control of Littlewood’s curse, however, Tommy Nolan adapted that same psychotic grin and glittering look in his eyes.
Like it would thrill him just to cut me open and see what was inside. He had already started. I noticed his latest victims once opening my eyes and judging from the muffles shrieks and violent squirming from the others tied to me, so they had they. I was trying to concentrate on my own life teetering on the edge of the mortal coil, but every so often my half lidded eyes would find the startling spatter of red glistening under patio lights which caused a visceral reaction I was struggling to keep under a cool façade.
There was nothing like showing them you were terrified. I think I could have actually died that night, my body ripped apart and my head put on a spike for the rest of the town to see the next morning. But sometimes miracles happen. And that miracle happened to be loose restraints.
I remember being paralysed to the spot, staring wide-eyed at the trail of guts splattered across the patio, handprints and smiley faces written in pooling crimson. They didn’t just kill the owner’s of the house, they played with their bodies, marking their presence with spilling entrails. I was aware of a girl jumping up from the sun lounger and grabbing my hand, urging me to run with her. And I did.
I ran. I didn’t look back, but they weren’t following us. Like zombies, or vampires, or any other mythical monster, Tommy and his gang had caught movement ahead of them and gone in for the kill.
While I was running, I made a silent pact with myself that I had to die before I turned 18.
I would… I don’t know. I’d throw myself in front of a car or slit my wrists open. I wouldn’t become one of them.
But there’s a huge difference between thinking about doing something, and actually doing it. I tried. I stepped out in front of traffic in the summer with full intention to throw myself in front of a truck.
Except my legs wouldn’t move. When I tried to move them, my body stiffened up and my brain freaked out. I tried slicing my wrists but I just ended up in the emergency room. I couldn’t do it.
Something inside me still wanted to live.
My 18th birthday came and went and before I knew it I was biking to school on October 1st 2022. Five hours before the curse took effect and I was late for quarantine. The town had no way to stop us causing havoc after trying every method in the recent years, but nothing worked. If we were knocked out, we’d just wake up seconds later. If we were tied up, we’d pull ourselves out of our restraints.
Quarantine was the school’s attempt at locking us in. But every year they got out. So, I didn’t exactly have hope for our year. I wasn’t thinking much of anything at that moment. I was just enjoying the cool graze of wind on my cheeks and blowing my hair back. I was watching a spiral of fall leaves caught up in a whirlwind when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I hesitantly pulled it out with one hand.
“Is it me or are people being extra shittier to us today?”
The voice was familiar and immediately put me in a better mood.
I had been anxiously waiting for him to call most of the day.
“No, but if you just listen to me, I have solid evidence.”
I felt my lips pricking into a smile. “You’re paranoid.” I said with an eyeroll. Across the street, though, an old woman was staring directly at me as I biked past. Mrs Renfield was the owner of the local thrift store and used to offer me candy bars when I was a little kid. I was so used to her kind smile and the wrinkle between her brows like she was permanently deep in thought. Right then, she was just standing there, eyes narrowed, like I was a freakish devil spawn. Ignoring a shiver slithering down my spine, I focused on the road. “I retract that statement,” I murmured. “Mrs Renfield just shot me the death glare.”
Jun scoffed. “Mrs Renfield is always giving people the death glare. It’s like her quirk.”
“Nope.” Tightening my one-handed grip on my handlebars, I pedalled faster. “This time it was definitely personal.”
“Ouch.” He said. “It makes sense though, right? Everyone hates us. We’re town pariah’s until sunrise."
I spluttered. “Wow. That makes me feel so much better. Thanks, Jun.”
His laugh loosened the knot in my gut. “You’re really bad at sarcasm,” He said. “Oooh, wait! I can see you ahead!”
I could hear him behind me, his yell entangled in a particularly tumultuous gust of wind which almost sent me tumbling.
“Bee! Hey, slow down!”
I did, twisting around to see Jun catching up to me. He was a fast moving blur of dark brown hair spiralling in the wind and kicking legs going to town on his pedals. It was the worst day of all of our lives and yet he was still smiling. I liked that about him.
The world could be ending, and Jun would still have an infectious grin on his face. I couldn’t help smiling when he finally caught up to me. Jun was your average conventionally attractive guy. Tall and athletic with a Hollywood smile and striking Asian American features which had been described as “exotic” by our classmates until he called them out.
And rightfully so.
Jun didn’t take any shit and smiled at the world like it wasn’t royally fucking him over. I think that’s why I had gravitated towards him. “Look! No hands!” He yelled behind me, and I twisted around to laugh.
“Do you want to fall?”
“Maybe!” His laugh caught in the wind. I could hear his panting breaths getting closer and closer.
“Yo.” Jun saluted me with a two-fingered salute. When I got a proper look at his expression, his smile wasn’t as bright as usual. It wasn’t surprising considering it was our judgement day, but somehow I still expected him to push his way through the negativity. I guess I was wrong.
When I caught his eye, he wasn’t quite looking at me—more like right through me, his thoughts elsewhere, probably with his mom. There was a haunted vacancy in his eyes I couldn’t bring myself to fully take in. Like he was already being twisted hours before. Still though, when I forced a smile his way, he seemed to snap out of it and shook his head, sucking in a lungful of air. “Don’t you just love the smell of pollution and cat shit at this time in the evening?”
"Oh, yeah." I shot him a grin. "Nothing like the stink of an animal’s decaying digestive system to make me feel alive."
He laughed, before piping up with, “What would you do if an asteroid was destined to hit us?”
“I don’t know. I guess I’d spend as much time as possible with my loves ones?”
“And what if you could stop it?”
“The asteroid?” I scoffed. “How?”
He tipped his head back and groaned. “Dude, just answer.”
“Well, yeah.” I said. “Of course I’d stop it if it’s going to kill billions of people and end life as we know it.”
Jun's smile darkened slightly.
“Even if the Asteroid killed you in the process?”
Something about his words drew the breath from my lungs. “Why are you asking me this?”
He looked like he might reply, before seemingly deciding against it. Whatever he wanted to say faded when the curl in his lip pricked into a smile. “I’m just envisioning going to visit my dad before Christmas. If I can get through tonight, I’m good.”
I couldn’t help noticing every store in the town centre was either closed or shutting down early.
There was a little girl standing outside the hardware store clutching an iPad. When she caught my eye, she ducked her head.
I knew exactly how she felt. When I was a kid, and knew of Littlewood’s curse, I hated the elder kids.
I wanted them gone.
For killing my mom – for ruining my life.
“That’s a good way to think,” I said, swallowing hard. “You literally have the ‘fifteen sleeps till Christmas’ mentality.”
He snorted. “It’s better to laugh than cry, right?”
The closer we were getting to school, I was feeling progressively sicker. “What are your plans for after?”
“When we’re kicked out of town.” I said. “I heard there’s a halfway house they’re sending us to. But don’t you want to run?”
He chuckled. “Where will we go? They said they were going to protect us and continue our education until we get to college.”
I sent him a look. “Do you honestly want to stay in some half-way house under constant surveillance? And that’s if we don’t…”
I trailed off, but to my surprise he continued it in a sharp breath, his tone darkening. “What if we brutally murder someone?”
“Well, yeah.” I said. “But that… that’s not going to happen.”
This time Jun laughed harshly. “I’d say the odds are fairly against us considering our town’s track record.”
We stopped at some steps, but Jun kept going, speeding up.
Something warm crept up my throat and I kicked myself into a manic pedal. "What are you doing?"
Jun came to a stop and twisted around. "A thought experiment," he said, trailing the sidewalk with the heels of his doc Martins. "If I fall and die, won't that save my future victim?" He laughed, but it was choked, almost hysterical. "If I'm... if I'm destined to kill someone, and I die right here right now, won't they live? I’ll be saving someone instead of murdering them.”
This time he wasn't even trying to hide the hollow look in his eyes. He was smiling, but it was too big, a gaping grimace. Almost a Wonderland Smile.
"Jun." I said sharply. "Stop.”
He did, coming to an abrupt halt before his bike could hurtle down the steps. He was panting, his grip tightening on the handlebars. "I'm going to see my dad." He said. "I'm going to see my dad, as soon as this is all over, and I've left the halfway house. And everything... everything will be okay." He turned to me with hopeful eyes. “Right? We’re going to be okay, Bee.”
I swallowed words suffocating my mouth all the way to school. I couldn’t give him the response he wanted.
When we arrived at school, Jun and I were cuffed and led to the gymnasium where most of the senior class already were. If it weren’t for the glitter of silver I caught on everyone wrist, I would have thought I was walking into a pep rally. It wasn’t as Dystopian as I’d imagined. Spirits were unusually high.
At least they were on one side. The varsity team were hyping each other up for reasons nobody knew. Lili Marriot was trying to lift morale by preaching to a group of wide-eyed kids about God, and that he was going to protect us. Bullshit. I didn’t say that though, as Jun led me to the middle of the room where most of our class were either lying on their jackets or staring at the wall looking like they wanted the ground to swallow them up.
Jun dropped down onto the floor with a smile way too wide for someone who had a 99.9% chance of committing a felony against his will, leaning back on his elbows. He pulled out his earphones. I followed, hesitantly, sitting next to him. “I heard if you listen to loud music, the curse doesn’t get you.” Jun murmured, untangling his earphones.
Jonas Lockhart slumped down with us, and I caught the exact moment Jun decided he was going to shuffle closer towards me. Jun was out of the closet and had been crushing on Jonas since freshman year. He revealed said crush while drunk at junior prom, only for Jonas to ignore him and then make out with Wendy Carmichael 10 minutes later.
Drama. Since then, Jun had made it his mission to keep his distance, and Jonas wasn’t getting the hint. I had a feeling Jonas was struggling with his own sexuality, and Jun was kind of inpatient. Also.. they were both too stubborn to admit feelings and were being equally immature. Still though, at least Jonas was trying. He plucked an earphone from the boy and corked one into his ear.
“Fleetwood Mac,” Jonas nodded with a smile. “Nice.”
With his hands still cuffed in front of him, Jun awkwardly yanked the earphone from the guy with a scowl.
“I’m sorry, do you hear something, Bee?” He pretended to squint. “I can’t see anyone though. But I can hear a slight breeze.”
“You’re a comedian, Jun.” Jonas rolled his eyes. “I just wanted to know if you wanna have a smoke? I know a guy who can uncuff us before Mrs Hill catches us,” He leaned back with a sigh. “You know, before we’re all turned into actual crazies.”
“I’m okay.” Jun murmured.
Jonas cocked a brow. “Really? Because there’s some things we should probably talk about. Maybe. If you want to.”
“I said I’m okay.”
“Jun.” I nudged him when Jonas jumped up and walked away, his shoulders slumped. “You do realise he’s trying to talk to you, right?”
He avoided my side-eye, a smile crawling on his lips. “I know. But it’s more fun to ignore him.”
“You two look like shit.”
Jun looked up, and I followed his gaze. Our third Musketeer was looming over us.
Mira. She was hiding behind thick red curls she usually tied in a ponytail.
“You can talk.” Jun’s expression dampened, and I noticed her smeared eyeliner. “Have you been crying?”
Mira plonked down next to me, burying her head in her knees. “My mom didn’t even text me to say goodbye.” She mumbled into her tights. “I can understand how it must feel for her, but it’s like she already thinks I’m going to hurt someone tonight.”
“Your mom’s kinda terrible,” Jun patted her on the shoulder. “No offense.”
“No, she is.” Mira sniffled. “She gave birth to me in this stupid town. How is it my fault that I was born here?”
I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. “Did she not text you at all?”
“Nope.” Mira choked out a laugh. “She left for work before I even woke up.”
I hated that part of me understood why Mira’s mom chose to distance herself, but it still fucking hurt.
The three of us talked for a while. About everything and nothing at all. TV shows and movies, and what our thoughts were on the latest Tik-Tok trend.
Anything to take our minds off of the time—which was ticking by. I watched the sky darken outside, and the expression’s on the guards at the door start to tighten. They were starting to panic. I could see it in their faces. It was around five to eight when I started to get restless and my stomach was doing flip flops.
Every year the same feeling hit me like a wave of ice water. And I always thought Noah gutting my mother. It was a memory I couldn’t get away from. In past years I distracted myself, but I was in the eye of the storm. Which was getting closer. It was between eight and eight thirty when the curse took effect (according to the mayor. He never gave us a specific time, so thanks for that) and I really needed the bathroom. I was starting to feel sick to my stomach, my mouth watering with the looming sensation of barf creeping its way up my throat.
Excusing myself from a conversation I was only half listening to, I jumped to my feet, struggling with my cuffed hands. Pushing my way through seniors, I headed to the exit doors where a crowd of guards had all congregated. When one of them situated himself in front of me with a no-nonsense scowl, I couldn’t resist glancing at the weapon attached to his belt. “Bathroom.” I said, when he shooed me away like I was a raccoon. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
The guard’s lips twisted. “We’ll bring you a bucket.” He grunted.
“No.” I found myself saying stiffly. “No, I need to go to the bathroom. I really don’t want to throw up in here.”
I don’t know if I looked pathetic enough for him to have sympathy or he just wanted to get rid of me, but the guard stepped aside and let me back out onto the hallway. I was surprised no guards followed me.
Thankfully I didn’t spew my guts. When I was on my way back to the auditorium, a group of people in white marched past me. I didn’t think anything of it until I saw what they were carrying with thick gloved hands, plastic masks over their faces.
Making sure to keep my distance, I followed them to the janitors closet which was pulled open. Looking at the canisters, at first I thought it was gas.
But then I caught splashes of something dripping down the side. It was clear like water but was slightly thicker and had a potent stink which seeped into my nose and throat. It was strong stuff. They were going into the sprinkler system. I knew from several years back when a junior had tried to douse the cafeteria in Gatorade for a prank. When one of the people in white heaved a canister into his arms, I started to back away slowly, my heart in my throat, my brain already in overdrive. Whatever they were putting into the sprinklers was man-made, I thought, pushing myself into a stumbled run. So, if that substance was what was turning kids psycho every year, did that mean there was no curse?
I made it back onto the hallway and I couldn’t breathe. The auditorium was right in front of me. No sign of guards. When I slammed my fists into the door it was locked. I pressed my face against the glass, glimpsing Jun sitting with Mira. My gaze went to the ceiling—to the sprinklers. But it didn’t make sense. Why would they do this?
Eighteen years of lies, I thought dizzily.
What were they doing to us?
How did destroying their own town and killing their own people benefit them?
When I found my voice, I pounded against the door. “Get out!” I screamed, tackling with the handle.
It wasn’t Jun who locked eyes with me. It was a girl I didn’t know. She looked up from her phone, her gaze meeting mine.
Her hopeful smile twisted into a look of fright.
I kicked the door. “Out!” I yelled, pointing at the ceiling. I twisted around, searching for guards.
“What?” She started to get up, started to call out to me—but rough arms were snaking around my waist, a clammy hand slamming a wet rag over my mouth.
I opened my mouth to scream, but I was already breathing it in—that toxic stink I’d seen dripping down the side of the canister. The arms holding me tightened their grip and my senses were drowned out by the smell seeping inside me, poisoning my lungs. But it wasn’t just inside my lungs, it was in my blood, heavy in my bones and bleeding into my brain.
I was aware of being yanked to my feet, but I couldn’t stand. The auditorium doors were behind me, and I was being dragged back down the corridor. My body felt fake, like it wasn’t even mine. I could feel it like a parasite, a virus, leeching itself onto my skull.
My brain was on fire. Everything was on fire. Through half-lidded eyes, I was aware of something dripping onto my face. It came slowly, splashing onto my cheeks before waves of red were hitting me, a scarlet waterfall of glittering gore. It was staining me, tainting me, bleeding into me before it began to rain down. It was warm and wet, drenching me. Turning me into its canvas. At first I tried to get away, but my feet were glued to the floor.
But as the parasite inside my skull gained the upper hand, I stopped trying to tear out my hair and rake my fingernails down my face. Blinking rapidly, I saw... fire. I saw blurs of orange and yellow enveloping squirming flesh catching light. And I heard screams; guttural cries crying out for death. I could feel them.
All of them.
All of their pain, their agony. Seventeen years of memories hitting me one by one. Like bolts of lightning. I thought that was what turned us. That was what twisted us into monsters, a reminder of every other year. Every murder. Every splash of blood. Every maniacal laugh. Because when I came to, I was no longer in school. The first thing I noticed through blurry vision was that I was crouched in front of a squirming figure, and above me, the sky was a colourful deluge of yellows and oranges and pinks.
Sunrise. Slowly, my gaze flicked from the pretty sunrise to the figure-- who slowly bled into a shadow, and then a woman, whose eyes I had plucked cleanly out. They were in my hands, squished between my fist, and my lips were split wide open like I’d carved a Wonderland smile onto my own face.
I could still feel the rush of adrenaline I’d felt while hacking a man’s head off and taking my time, scooping out each of the woman’s eyes with a spoon doused in salt. I wasn't thinking about the woman begging me to kill her-- and the headless torso of her husband at my feet. I wasn't thinking about my hands slick scarlet and the taste of rotting flesh in my mouth. I was still seeing flashes in my head, memories which weren't mine. A school bus, blurred faces around me. Someone else's thoughts were inside my head. I shook them away. All I could think about was Littlewood's curse. As I turned around slowly, and pushed myself into a run, my gaze finding the sun slowly rising over the horizon. I was halfway across a town which had been ripped apart over the last few hours. Headless bodies littered the streets. Cars had been destroyed. Buildings set on fire.
2022’s class had really given the other year’s a run for their money. I found my phone in my pocket, a text lighting up the notifications. A text sent 10 minutes ago. Jun: We need to talk. Now. I'm at the scrapyard. Come alone. Bad people around.
Jun, I thought, swiping my bloody hands on my shirt. It wouldn’t come off.
My thoughts were spiralling.
I needed to find him.
How had he texted me if the sun was only just rising?
I was caked in blood- which wasn’t mine and It wouldn’t come off. I was fucking painted in it.
When I caught sight of Emily Carter on her knees, sobbing into the hollowed out carcass of her mother, I started to wonder:
For the first time in eighteen years, my mind was clear.
This curse... who really started it?
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2023.03.17 20:55 data_rights Masculinism on "Culture War", Brigading and Obscuration
In this stand up show
, Russell Howard ridiculed the notion that "cancel culture" exists because of some outlandish alt-right claims about "ultra woke" headlines designed to provoke gammon outrage:
- "Should we ban parents from cheering on their children?" - "Is it right to remove church pews to help the obese?" - "Is it really time to stop saying mums and dads?" - "There is no place for headbands on babies?" - "Sponge Bob is talking about global warming, and he's only doing it from one point of view!" - "Is it selfish to use paddling pools?" - "They're trying to bring race into Ernie and Bert!" - "We're blighted by trans fish!" - "The global tyranny of the metric system!" - "Who knew that algebra was racist?" - "Can the black panther be played by a white guy?" - "How do I get pregnant?"
As hilariously cringe as this all sounds, the truth is that a far more insidious narrative from the left does exist but alt-right attempts at highlighting or changing that dialogue are blunt at best, misleading at worst. And Russell Howard does a poor job of getting to crux of the matter as later in the show he says (to paraphrase) "most of us with common sense in the middle of the spectrum don't get off on making outrageous claims - the culture war doesn't exist!".
I'm not going to deep dive into race or gender dysphoria because it doesn't have much relevance but I will drop in to the discussion what a linguist has to say about "how easy it is ... not" to correctly identify gendered pronouns across culture and language in different social circles
. The fact is, from the masculinist perspective, "cancel culture" (cultural suppression?) does exist: moral outrage from slightly misspoken words or phrases, expressed in such a way to force advocates of a different ideology to constantly revise their terminology and invest energies into articulate word crafts in such a way that stifles free expression of their language lest they be ridiculed, castigated, undermined, subverted, misrepresented and ostracised through social media.
Let's use examples from my own writing:
We are dealing with a crisis in men's issues ranging from the increased prevalence of violent assault rates
"That's just men beating each other up"
"Men going to prison for violence ... duh!"
higher professional death toll
"Well if builders didn't wolf whistle at women maybe they'd go work on construction sites and die there too!"
mental health issues and increased suicide rate
"Men can't talk for shit"
not to mention more sexual and romantic isolation among young men than ever before
"Incel! Misogyny! Entitlement!"
This is just from the first sentence of my first entry. As you can see, it's impossible to engage these people which means that the young masculinist cannot get his point heard but for his own smaller circles of the like minded. There is a real problem in today's society where the commercialised media promotes women's issues to the point that men's issues are drowned out, suffocated, marginalised and explained away as allegedly being symptomatic of "patriarchy".
So we have moral outrage, misrepresentation, fallacious reasoning and poor interpretation as the first instances of cultural smothering - and I am not even talking about mainstream media platforms, television debates, interviews or political platforms. This is just everyday conversation - things the masculinist has to engage within his own friendship circles, his family and social media. What else is done to suppress the young masculinist online?
Brigading. On my first fetlife account, I made a straight forward post detailing why I felt it was more difficult for men to date than women in the current dating climate and I received hundreds of antagonistic comments berating, castigating and ridiculing me and assumptions about my personality, my message, and the nature of male sexual and romantic isolation. This isn't enough though. What do feminists do when they see that the young masculinist will not delete, block or cower from hostility but continue to debate from a well-reasoned and informed position?
Silence. The feminist troll cannot engage in open and honest or well-reasoned, empathetic communication so it tries to smother its opponents words into obscurity on the online platform while pushing forwards hundreds of thousands of "girl power" posts and immature women complaining that they've been objectified by the existence of beautiful models, that boys don't know how to cry, that they shouldn't have to wear make up and how unfair it is they have a socially-accepted-for-women concealer for their acne scars. Issues like men literally dying are smothered into obscuration.
But the brave young masculinist soul recognises that obscuration is no different from brigading. It is just another machiavellian tactic employed to hurt the masculinist's self-esteem and employ cultural smothering. The creatively soulful and passionate masculinist intellectual doesn't back down - he keeps fighting the good fight and makes sure other young men hear his message and receive inspiration. Never be bullied or ignored into silent obscuration - make sure people know what you have to say. Views, comments and likes will come and go. Exchange of ideas with other souls will develop over time, they will not always be in agreement but that is ok - as I've said, constructive debate can only serve to strengthen the ideas of the bright and bold, young masculinist.
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2023.03.13 13:09 cesly1987 Despair's Peak (part 2)
Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/Ceslystories/comments/ndjdci/despairs_peak_part_1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
The hot cramped attic brought stressful dreams. They were more vivid of late. I wondered if there was some sort of magic involved, or maybe it was just the extreme stress of the situation finally getting to me.
We were all grateful for the "noise camouflage" the constant cranking and splashing of the water mill caused, because it drowned out most of the accidently noise we made in the attic. The biggest recurring noise problem was usually one of us waking with a scream on our lips. Whoever was on watch had to hush their friends' night terrors before it got too loud.
Chaleen volunteered most nights to let us rest ( at least that's what I think her name is said). She was a dark skinned foreigner traveling the realm with her merchant guild. She and her traveling companions hailed from far away land of T'lut.
Her guild usually came through once a year selling their exotic spices, furs, and jewelry. We were left with the slim pickings of what product was left after selling out most of their goods at The Capitol and larger cities.
Chaleen must have been in training to take over the trade route eventually, because she didn't know the Common Tongue but she was made by her people to shadow the elder merchant and do everything he did.
Jil and Chaleen already had a report due to the elder merchant forcing Chaleen to interact with Jil in broken Common Tongue when Jil tried to buy a perfume. The crowd of villagers began to giggle at the cringe inducing situation. Jil tried to use the little she knew of T'lut language and made the merchants laugh. It was embarrassing for both women, but it bonded the two in its shared awkwardness.
All of Chaleen's people died in the initial attack on the village, and somehow Chaleen had lost half of her left hand. It was probably bitten off by a ripper. But somehow she had already stopped the bleeding, and closed the wound. I think it had something to do with the dozen or so scrolls she kept on her person she guarded fervently.
Now she mostly stayed in the attic and guarded the little ones. This was understandable because communication was already difficult enough with her not knowing the language.
I had gotten better at fighting my own screaming during my sleep. I almost never fell into a deep sleep anyways, and it just felt like I was skimming the borders of consciousness. My fitful slumber brought back the lowest time of my life (not counting this current situation.) I remembered 5 years ago when I was 14 and my dad had just been killed in the riots in The Capitol.
My father was a King's Warden. His jurisdiction was in the cursed town where we all hid now. He also patrolled 3 more frontier settlements spread along the western border. The Four Stones Settlements, our town being the most Northwestern.
My father was tough and fair. Slow to anger, quick to smile, quicker to help. He was loved by the townsfolk and was even given grudging respect by the few local criminals.
All his years of steadfast loyalty Throne got him called away from his home and thrust into a labor dispute at the Capitol. He came back in a pine box, bearing the official seal of The King. At first I thought it must have been a mistake. They must have sent back the body of a child by accident, but it was him, all the parts they could recover of him.
My dad's sword was also returned. It was polished, blessed with a holy parchment from the Kings High priestess, and had been sealed upon the blade with a wax parchment. I was supposed to be left in his hands to help usher him to the Goddess's side, but not enough of him remained to hold his weapon. So it went in the hole with him, longer than the entire coffin.
He was buried on top of Mt. Despair beside the academy's ancient watchtower and ceremonial grounds. The townsfolk showed as much turnout and respect as they could muster for their local lawman and his newly orphaned son as The Four Stones could. Most folks having to take the long way around the mountain to avoid the steep upwards climb.
The headmaster offered me a free scholarship when I came of age and secured me permanent housing in town. But all I wanted was space during my depths of grief, and the people gave me my space. Maybe too much for my own good.
I remember even now, more vividly than ever, the day Jil saved my life.
I had decided shortly after my dad's death, that I would follow after him into the afterlife. I would rejoin him and my mother that passed away giving birth to me. We would reunite as a family at the side of The Loving Goddess. Finally the constant struggle would be over.
Struggle was a thing I had known from childhood, like a spiritual heaviness upon me. I always felt a think sadness dropped upon me. My father said my mother suffered from it too. He said she called it her "constant struggle".
Dark moods would take my mother like they would take me. I was chronically assaulted with thoughts of inner turmoil so hectic and awful, that they threatened to physically pull me down into the grave dirt beneath my boots.
But my father helped keep my head up. He kept the air in my lungs. He fought for me like he did his beloved wife when she was trapped in her dark moods.
Father may have been a bit overbearing in his zeal to help me with an infliction he himself barely understood. But he stressed to me the bonds of family, community, hard work, and stopping to enjoy the little things to keep me motivated. He had been my anchor, my light. Without him, I felt as lost in the dark as I did now, surrounded by the rippers.
On the day Jil saved me, she must have seen the loss of hope in my eyes. She noticed something different, other than the normal grieving, as we passed each other in the town briefly. Later I was atop Mt. Despair, behind the watchtower, where my dad's grave was.
Except I wasn't standing in front of my dad's grave. I stood past it, and past the Lady Willow tree that hung over it. I stood at the steepest and highest edge of the mountain. I looked over the beautiful mountains and the town beneath. I looked far towards the horizon where The Capitol lay.
It was another beautiful day. But it was also another terrible day. And I knew in my deepest heart, it was going to get worse. And I wasn't strong enough to survive. I didn't WANT to survive.
I was so deep in my forlorn reverie that I never heard Jil approach. She had been so quiet that I wouldn't have heard her even if I had been trying. For me, it was as if she just appeared beside me, taking in the panorama view of the mountains alongside me.
"Jack," she whispered, "you aren't alone. You have the whole village beside you. I'm an orphan, Jack. I've never had family here."
I said nothing and continued staring straight ahead as she continued her heartfelt whisper to me. I was convinced nothing she could tell me could keep me from doing what I had to do.
"But if you need family now, than i'll be your family. Ill be your friend! I'll be your sister! I'll be whatever! Just don't do what you're thinking of doing!
I heard her voice break, and for the first time, I looked over to see her. She was staring at me, tears streaming down her face. She held me with a look of frustration and sadness.
Jil had always been a crybaby. So quick to show her temper and bust out the tears when we all played in school. But for the first time I realized how beautiful it made her look, and this cut deep into my soul.
"Leave me alone, Jil!" I told her dismissively as I turned away from her passionate stare. I wasn't gonna let this goofy girl get under my skin. How could she ever understand my grief? She never knew her parents! She's used to being an orphan girl! I knew my Daad for years! I loved him!
"No I will not, you stubborn boy!" Jil sassed back. She leaned forward and grabbed my hand with both of her own. "I won't let go of you! You jump! I will fall down with you! Do you really want to be a murderer, Jack the Warden's Son?"
"I wasn't going to jump, stupid girl!" I yelled back with false indignation. "Can't you just leave me alone and stop crying all over me? A man needs to be alone with his thoughts at a time like this."
"Pfft, a man? More like an immature baby," Jil shot back, gripping my hand tighter. "Sitting up here thinking about ending yourself while the whole village prays to the Goddess every night for you! Your selfish and dumb!"
"Well, if I was suicidal, this little pep talk isn't helping me feel better," I told her dryly.
"Then shut up!" Jil retorted. "We will both shut up and just sit here until you change your mind and realize you aren't alone anymore!"
The ferocity in her teary eyes almost made me smile. So we did just as she commanded. Both of us sat in silence on the edge of the cliff, watching over the village. Jil never once let go of my hand. Hours passed and the sun dipped behind us, painting the clouds with the beautiful colors of dusk.
Even though Jil was asleep, head resting on my shoulder, it still took an effort to pull my numb hand free of her own. But now that I was free of her feminine clutches, I didn't feel like going through with my steadfast convictions. I didn't feel like jumping. As scared as I was, I wanted to see the sunrise the next morning.
Life didn't miraculously get better, but I seemed to pass through it with less pain as time went on. The unhealing wound in my heart never fully went away, but I learned to not let it dominate me. And Jil was there. She was always there when the burden got too heavy.
But now I sat in the stuffy attic of the watermill. The world had gone dark again. Most of the towns folk were dead, supplies dwindled, and all hope seemed lost.
But I refused to believe it was over! I still had my sanity! I still had Jil! My life was mine to decide! It was just another day in an uncaring existence. But it was my existence!
I had broached the subject multiple times with my group of dwindling survivors. The idea of climbing Mt. Despair had seemed like suicide to anyone that listened to me. People were skeptical of my story about how the blinding fog didn't cover the peak of the mountain.
They doubted the supplies stashed in the watchtower would provide enough food for anyone that survived the climb. They doubted if we could avoid or outrun the rippers enough to even make it to the top. But most of all, I suspected that the mad plan just seemed too hard to do. The survivors of the initial attack were already broken mentally.Why die tired and exhausted, when you could just fold your hands and starve to death in the relative peaceful darkness.
We had been a larger group of survivor's then, and my plan was either flat out ignored or out voted. The adults thought age meant wisdom during this terrible time. And yet, they all got what they wanted. They all died in the dark. This didn't mean I wanted to follow them so quickly into death.
Tagert, Jil, Ma and her two kids listened to my plan with grim determination this time. We all knew climbing the mountain was our last chance of survival. And we were leaving after one last rest in the attic.
"Jack," Ma whispered to me quietly. Startled, I turned to see her holding a dim candle between us. Her old face looked even more ancient now with all the added layers of stress wearing away at her psyche. I could see the trail of fresh tears making lines down her dirty cheeks.
"Ma, what is it!" I said as I began to sit up. She had quickly become the group's den mother, and seeing her face so sad brought an instinctual reaction of protection from me.
"Please settle, Jack!" Ma shushed, as she pushed lightly on my chest. "I have to tell you something." She strained to give me a reassuring smile. "Me and the girls aren't coming with you. I've decided we will stay here in the attic."
"No, just no, Ma! I mean, no Mary! We are all leaving together. It's a death sentence if we stay here any longer!" I began, already mentaly prepared to have this long argument with her.
"It's not your decision to make, sweet boy," she responded. "Casey and Jacey are too young to survive the climb, and my old bones can't even climb down from the attic without help. I rather we all die in relative peace here. I won't let those demons rip apart my grandchildren!"
"We are a team, Ma," I said, "We will take care of eachother! Now go rest up while you still c-"
"I gave them shade berries mixed with poppy seeds," Ma interrupted with finality.
"W-wait, -what?" I gasped, my mouth dropping open in shock. The constant fog in my brain cleared enough for me to realize what Mary was telling me.
"I already took my own shade berries before I came over here to speak with you. The deed is already done, child. I just wanted you to know how much I care for you, and how none of what I did is your fault. You are so brave, Jack. Your Father would be proud of you.
Anger began to heat up my face and my fists clenched at the realization of what she had done. Shade Berries were highly poisonous. Two or three would be enough to kill her small granddaughters. Poppy seeds would keep them asleep through the terrible stomach aches that usually accompany the poisonous death.
"You had no right to make that decision for the girls! They could have made it!" I gasped. It was all too much. The tears were flowing. I had never been much of a crier. Even when dad died. But this continuous nightmare had broken me in ways I knew I would never fully recover from, and my emotions came fast and loose.
"Don't upset them! It's better this way. It's peaceful. I won't let them be torn apart in the streets, or slow you and the others down. Please Jack, don't fight me on this. I am happy. We are all together and happy."
Ma went back to her corner to cuddle with her grandkids and I could do nothing but respect her final wishes. I too retired to my dark corner of the attic. I was planning on sleeping until I woke up naturally. I need as much rest as possible, and I never got much sleep before the nightmares started anyways. As I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing, I knew 3 of my friends were taking their own last breaths while dying in the dark.
"No more," I said to myself. "No one else. I draw the line here. Jil,Tagert, and Chaleen will make it." I swore to any god that would listen to protect us. I swore an oath to my Father! I knew the trek up Mount Despair was punishing regardless of the situation surrounding it, so maybe making this promise was the word of a young fool. But I didn't care. For once my resolve had strengthened and I felt something other than fear in my heart. I felt a stubborn determination. A seething anger almost. It wasn't quite hope or courage, but anything would work to keep me going.
The four of us were almost done packing our small packs for the journey. Each of us had gotten some sleep and food in our bellies. We huddled together and talked out the plan when we heard the worst/best sound we could ever hear at this time.
"Gram, wake up," came the tiny, whispering voice of Ma's oldest granddaughter. My stomach sank with a horrid realization. I was facing Chaleen and Jil, so I saw the reaction on both of their faces simultaneously. Shock, joy, sadness, anger, fear, panic, all in a flash! Incredible how the human face can display all these micro-expressions in 2 seconds.
Chaleen darted to the scared child first, followed closely by Jil. They were both light on their feet like dancers as they quickly stepped the short distance to little Jacey before she could realize her grandma was dead, and before the understandable sobbing began.
So that's how our desperate climb was held up for 3 more hours. The 2 motherly sisterly females huddled close over the young girl and whispered back and forth with her in common tongue and Chaleen's language.
Jacey went on to explain to the girls thst she was 2 years older than her little sister. She had turned 10 during this whole living nightmare. Jacey didn't even complain about not getting presents on her birthday when it came and passed. She knew people needed help and she wasn't a baby anymore. The least she could do now was help Gram Gram out by taking care of her little sister Casey when she could!
So Jacey inadvertently saved her own life when she let her younger sister drink her shade berry drink too. She told Jil and Chaleen only little kids liked sweets anyways. She just snuggled up with Casey and pretended to be asleep when her Grandma came back, so her elderly caretaker could get right to sleep without having to worry about the two of them.
"She will be okay," Jil informed me and Tagert with clenched fists and tear a stained face. "She will be in me and Chaleen's team. Chaleen won't give you any say in the matter regardless.
I looked over at Chaleen. She had placed Jacey on her back and covered them both with her cloak. Chaleen knelt low and showed Jacey the satchel full of scrolls she carried around. They both conversed with each other in Chaleen's strange language and I was amazed at the resiliency and adaptability of children in such terrible situations. Jacey had been soaking up Chaleen's language like a sponge during all the times Chaleen was left behind to babysit.
"What does she know about her Ma and sister?" Tagert asked from the cramped corner beside me.
" She-" Jil's face scrunched in thought, "she's been told they are under a sleep spell. There is a potion to wake them at the top of the mountain."
"You think that's right, Jilsophien?" Tagert quietly added.
"I dont know, TAGERT! When you're done with the instruction manual that only you have for this situation, I would like to give it a look over and make sure my decisions are the ones you deem worthy next time!" Jil snapped. She quickly realized her taboo and put a hand up to her mouth as if to gag herself from any further outburst and stepped towards the kneeling Tagert to place a caring arm on his shoulder. Petty fighting like this had become common due to fatigue, fear, and hunger.
"We told her, her family was asleep, I think she knows we are lying," Jil told Tagert grimly. " She just wants it to be true."
Just like you think hope lies at the top of that mountain," said some dark doubting voice from deep within me. "But just like with Jacey's family, hope is dead. There will be nothing but darkness all the way up to the Courts of the Goddess. You will damn them all, fool boy!
"Alright," I said, pushing the old enemy in my head back down into the depths, "let's get out of this damn nightmare!" Jil's initial scouting had been correct it seemed, because there were barely any rippers roaming about. Hopefully they had all moved on eastwards. We hoped it was because they were going to confront the King and his armies that were coming to save us.
I know we all wanted this to be true, but none of us said it out loud. As if speaking it would curse it. There was so much evil around us, that the Dark One could corrupt the words coming off our lips.
So we walked in tense silence towards the foot of the mountain. Me and Tagert moving up the front, a piece of rope tethered between us. Jil, leading Chaleen with her own rope as Chaleen carried Jacey on her back. Both me and Jil had the magical monocles to see clearly in the dark.
"Gather' round. Usually classes of fresh cadets are pushed to make this climb in an hour. That's well fed, well rested, in shape, aspiring wardens being pushed by their instructors the whole time. Oh and they can see what's in front of them," I told my people as we reach the starting point of the upwards March. I spoke at a normal volume with some humor, hoping my bravery was contagious. "Our situation is quite different, so I will give us 3 hours or more".
Jil, make sure Chaleen understands. We can carry Jacey if she needs a break," Jil nodded to me in an acknowledgment, although I doubted Chaleen would give up her young charge.
And so our climb began, slow and steady. Still no rippers, thank the Goddess. Although almost immediately the hike started to live up to its name by already becoming a 35 degree incline. After 15 minutes of hiking upwards, we were all mostly crawling with our hands out in front of us. Jacey was down beside Chaleen and crawled with her and like a trooper.
We finally reached a plateau area meant for cadets to refill their canteens of muster for medical aid if it was needed. It was a well kept space meant to accommodate 30 cadets and instructors. Tree logs had been set down to serve as makeshift benches around a fireplace and a small stream had been diverted to run along the outskirts of the mini sanctuary. I had always loved this place.
" Okay friends, we will take a short rest here," I said as we all crested onto the plateau. I meant to tell them about the water stream further back before all the wind was squeezed out of me. Tagert had lunged forward and wrapped me up in a rib crackling bear hug and flung me into the darkness towards the old fire pit.
"Not yet Not safe yet!" Were the panicked words Tagert was screaming as I tried to catch my breath and get up. My night vision monocle, through some magical boon of its own, never fell away from my eye even though I took a tumble. I saw the bright electric silhouette of a ripper gnashing its metalic fangs at Tagert, but Tagert smacked it square where the nose should be, sending it reeling backwards.
The sneaky monster had come up right behind me! Tagert must have seen it bear its unnaturally bright teeth before it tried to bite me! The rippers must have to solidify themselves in the physical plain before they can strike out, that's how Tagert got that punch to connect with it.
"To me!" I yelled, furious at my own carelessness. I had put Tagert in needless danger, because I couldn't scout an area properly! "Jil, bring them over here!" I yelled. I had a plan for when the rippers showed. I wasn't foolish enough to think prayers and luck would do all the heavy lifting to get us to the top of the mountain.
I dropped my small pack and pulled out a piece of banged up metal that used to be a bastard sword from another lifetime, only now it was broken in two and barely the length of a short sword and about as dull as a butter knife. A oily damp clothes had been intentionally wrapped around the blade, and held tight with metal wire.
"This better work, Caville!" I prayed to the old swordmaster as I scraped a flint stone along the hilt to cause a spark. The spark ignited the cloth around the blade, transforming the useless broken weapon into what looked like a fiery weapon of destruction.
I saw Jill as she led the girls to dive to safety beside me. They squinted and covered their eyes in surprise at the sudden appearance of the bright sword. I saw Tagert's larger frame sprinting towards me, his face pale white and coated with sweat as he tried to outrun the silver pair of fangs literally breathing down his neck.
As much as I hate to admit it, the Goddess blessed us when the rippers bit Tagert, but only caught him nonlethally on his left shoulder. Tagert yelped in pain as the ripper dug its fangs into his skin, and began to force Tagert to the ground. Tagert collapsed like a ragdolled onto his hands and knees, giving me a clear line of sight at the shadow's figure head as its silver teeth dug bloodh holes into Tagert's skin.
The late great sword instructor Caville told me the broken sword I now swung must have once belonged to a former Warden or Imperial Infantry Officer from around 80 years ago. Caville fancied himself a history buff and snagged it off a passing merchant for dirt cheap because it was already broken in half when he came upon it.
Caville told me a few 1000 of these swords were issued to Officers or Wardens with blessed inscriptions etched into the hilt during the Second Necromancy War. Each had been personally blessed by The maidens of The Church's highest echelons, The Jubilant Choir.
Luckily, an 80 year old blessing, burning rags, a dull blade, and well…more luck, was enough to save everyone for the moment. The broken fire blade struck an inch above the silver fangs that were biting down into Tagert's flesh. I felt resistance as the flaming sword hit 'something', but then cut through, extinguishing the flames on the blade.
Through my monocle I saw the rippers glowing head tumble off its body and the rest of its body flopped over to the ground.
"Did you get him?" Tagert yelled as he stumbled by me, flailing his arms in the dark. Tagert made it into Jil's arms while holding his wounded shoulder.
"Yes! Oh Goddess! Come to my voice Tagert!" Jil yelled to Tagert as she stood behind me.
The body of the beheaded ripper convulsed on the ground and let out a deafening hiss, causing all of us to back away instinctually. It smoked into bright cloud of nothingness only seen through my monocle.
"Goddess, it worked! Thank you Caville, it worked!" I yelled! I didn't care if I was loud! That damned hissing was loud enough to alert everything on the mountain.
We all gathered back together, and tried to patch up Tagert's shoulder as best we could with our limited supplies. We filled our water bottles and got back in formation to begin climbing.
"Okay guys, " I began, "that sword trick was a one time thing. Let's hope that was the only ripper left on the mountain. But just in case we need to double time-"
"Jack!" I heard Jil call out! I turned to her and saw she was frozen in terror pointing out over the mountain-side towards the town. I turned to follow her finger and saw what had stricken her with fear.
Floating 500 feet over the town below, but floating almost level with us on the mountainside, was a massive yellow eye the size of a large house. It had an eerie sickly glow with a large black pupi swimming around within itl. The pupil twitched and rolled around in the yellow orb until fixing on me from over the long distance.
"No escape!" A dark voice in my head said. This was not the dark voice of depression but something worse,, something alien. It was a voice sent by the Dark God. The eye was communicating with me..
By dark powers I felt the rippers being spawned by the monstrous eye. The evil thing was using its powers to create more monsters to kill all of us. I could feel them stumbling over each other as they raced for the foot of the mountain with savage bloodlust, their silver fangs snapping in the air, wanting vengeance for the one ripper I killed.
"We have to run!" I said to the others, and grabbed Jil to shake her out of her stupor. "We have to run as fast as we can!"
Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/Ceslystories/comments/11ziluk/despairs_peak_part_3/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
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2023.03.07 07:21 ThrowawayCrush1360 AITA for introducing someone else to my brother while knowing that my friend has a crush on him?
I (20F) have a friend 'Zoe' (19F) from college, and a older brother 'Phil'(28M). Phil, in my humble opinion, is the dream man for any single person. He is handsome, sweet, a fantastic gardener, cleans and irons, and is rising in his career as is. My parents, supportive as they are, bought him a gorgeous apartment in the city he now resides in. I decided to visit his city with my friends (including Zoe) during fall break, and being the bunch of cheap college students we are, we asked Phil if we can camp out at his place for 3 nights. He agreed, we had a blast, and he told me he liked my friends later. When we got back to college, all my friends were singing praises for Phil, and Zoe later pulled me aside and told me she has a crush on him. I kind of laughed it off. I later mentioned it to Phil, and he laughed it off too. Zoe mentioned it a couple times more but I always change the subject. It was never really brought up again.
A couple months later, Phil mentioned during one of our family video chats that he was thinking of settling down. He chose to stay single beforehand because he had to split time between US and our home country due to work, and he thought it unfair to his partner that he can only see them for a few months of the year or make them travel with him. But now, he is in position to either fully stay in the US or fulling move back, so he felt he's ready to date. I playfully asked him if he took suggestions, and he said sure why not. I thought about it for sometime, and in the end decided to suggest my other friend 'Leonora' (24F) to him. Leonora is a coworker of my cousin in a city near Phil, and she is just the sweetest lady I've ever met. My cousin likes her a lot also, and I felt her hobbies and life philosophy meshes well with Phil. Bonus point, she is from our country and is not averse to moving back. My cousin also thought this is a good choice, and after talking to both Phil and Leonora, we set them up in a cafe. They both liked each other, and after awhile declared it official.
I was ecstatic when I heard the news, and happily went to my friends to brag about my match making skills during lunch. My friends were all very happy, especially those who stayed with Phil, but Zoe got very quiet. Later she pulled me aside and told me how betrayed she felt that I would suggest someone else to my brother knowing her crush for him. I tried to explain to her that Phil likes to date people close to his age, and that she is from our country etc. Zoe told me my excuses are all bullshit, her parents have a healthy marriage and an age gap of 10 years, and that I am calling her immature. Some of my friends close to Zoe later told me I'm interfering in Phil's decision because its Phil's place to accept or reject her and not me, which I guess is correct. Now I feel guilty, so AITA? I've apologized, but Zoe's still not talking to me.
EDIT (with Update):
I'm updating because, well, cause it was just wild and I need a place to rant. So literally two days after I wrote my original post, my sleep deprived ass put a knife through my left hand trying to make breakfast. Typing with one hand in a cast rn, lol. It was a murder scene, but luckily some of my friends live only one dorm over and they rushed me to urgent care where we found out I need hand surgery. There was a lot of freaking out in the family group chat after this, and my surgery was booked for a couple days later (emergency, severed a nerve). Phil announced that he's going to work remotely for the three days around my surgery, and he's going to drive 5 hours here and stay with me in my room (I live in a double by myself) so to "alleviate his blood pressure and make sure his dumbass sister don't die." We ran it by with my suite mates and they were fine, so that is that. He moved in.
Zoe somehow found out about this, probs through my other friends as we weren't talking, that Phil's staying with me. She decided to visit me the day I had surgery when I am still half dead from anesthesia. Phil said he opened the door and she was acting very concerned. She wanted to stay in my room, but he told her to visit when I am awake.
She came the next day with my other friends after class when Phil's in the room. I kid you not, Zoe turned up in only a bra and short shorts, which would be normal college attire in May, not in march when the weather's as dismal as a soggy sink sponge. The rest of my friends were in sweaters. She then proceeded to have the most awkward conversation ever, consistently bringing the attention back to Phil even when we were talking about other stuff. Phil for his part, was taking no crap. Like at one point she asked him what are some "sensitive topics he'd love to explore now that he's in a room full of girls", and he told her he wants to explore the HongKong Dollar peg and the financial implications if it's unpegged. Another time she asked if he likes to date "cute kittens or fire kittens", which he answered he preferred to date humans who does their own taxes. It was just really bad, and I can tell my other normal friends are starting to see just how desperate she was. In the end she offered to stay with us to "take care of [me]", sharing a bed with Phil because "[I] deserve space." Phil just looked at her, shook his head and said "I know young love is supposed to be messy, but wrong space, wrong person, wrong time. Please have more self worth than that." Zoe was sputtering and my friends practically dragged her out of the room.
I later got apologies from my friends for humoring her and letting her tag along. Apparently she's complaining on social media that she "has social anxiety and now some people just made it worse," but at least the majority of my friends saw through her BS now. She also said I "denied her a chance at a stable relationship. Oh well. Phil has been side eyeing me in my friend choice recently.
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2023.02.04 03:36 lastlemming-pip Harry & the Middle Class
We must all feel for Harry. After all, he was purposely raised to be helpless in the real world. They planned it. They made it so he couldn't live on his own and then they axed him. As he noted in his autobiography:
I recognized the absurdity, a man in his mid-thirties being financially cut off by his father. But Pa wasn’t merely my father, he was my boss, my banker, my comptroller, keeper of the purse strings throughout my adult life. Cutting me off therefore meant firing me, without redundancy pay, and casting me into the void after a lifetime of service. More, after a lifetime of rendering me otherwise unemployable.
I’d never asked to be financially dependent on Pa [but] I’d been forced into this surreal state….Sponge, the papers called me. [Did they really? He was actually quite popular.] But there’s a big difference between being a sponge and being prohibited from learning independence. After decades of being rigorously and systematically infantilized [exactly how was this?], I was now abruptly abandoned, and mocked for being immature? For not standing on my own two feet?”
So that’s Harry, sobbing that he couldn’t have a regular life; he couldn’t have a regular job w/ a regular set of responsibilities. He was cosseted, a hot house flower. Just too delicate to survive. W/ his upbringing he could never do “middle class.”
But do you know who could do “middle class”? That condition of taking responsibility for oneself, paying one's way, providing for others. Where one goes into work each day, supports a family? Stands on his own two feet? Tries to find the car keys? Forgets to pick up a Domino's pizza on the way home?
You know who could do that?
Yup, same family, same upbringing, same circumstances & yet. William, apparently, got up close & personal w/ “middle class.” How do we know that?
Well, for one thing, William—like every other middle class person—had a job.
In 2008 Prince William received his Royal Air Force wings. Two years later he became a specialized search and rescue helicopter pilot. He first served as a military rescue pilot then went on to serve as a civilian pilot in the East Anglian Air Ambulance (EAAA). This meant he got up every morning (or evening, depending on the shift) went to work, took orders, worked as a team w/ others, shouldered responsibilities & then went home to the wife & kids when his shift ended. He got paid a salary (granted it was donated to charity.) He only left this job in 2017 when the Palace put pressure on him to assume more royal duties. (Reporting at the time called Will “work shy.” That’s right, while he was holding a full time job, he was called “work shy.” But he
didn’t complain about it.)
So remember, Will grew up right beside Harry yet he never seemed to have suffered from being infantilized or of not being able to stand on his own two feet.
And as for Harry. Well, he had a job. In fact, he had a career. The Army. Remember that? Where young men go to be taught how to survive in the world, learn how to stand on their own two feet. How to be a man. So, what about it, Harry? You had a chance & yet you quit. Why did you quit? Or was it more like, why did they make you quit? Cause you didn’t have the discipline to do what someone else wanted you to do? You had a “red mist” moment w/ a superior officer? And now you are all boo-hoo about how infantilized you were.
So the conclusion that I draw from all of the above is this: Harry isn’t really jealous of William because he is to become king. Harry’s jealous of William because of everything. https://www.newsweek.com/prince-william-defense-harry-clip-praised-different-tiktok-1768350#slideshow/2167317
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2023.01.24 04:01 unchainedcycle My journey - A rant and a story of how I am a forced asexual.
So basically, I was in a blind long distance in my college which went on and off for 3-4 years, we both were into writing quotes and poems, used to collaborate and write and what not. 4 years later I got to know that she had multiple affairs all along and her "I love you"s weren't real. Well it hit me real hard, I went down the rabbit hole, and the usual followed.
Wrote songs, ruined few good songs by crying to it, have associated memory of the song with the trauma now.
Anyways, that got me thinking how fragile our hearts are, and how immature we are to give the leash to someone.
I started questioning the institution of marriage, I started debating why marriages made sense back then and it doesn't anymore.
Like in olden times, procreating was the main aim, healthcare was bad hence mortality rate was higher, hence people had to conceive many kids only few survived past 5 years of age, so the women were mostly pregnant all the time... Hence they used to stay back at home and do lil errands, the man used to go out to earn the bread... And the system made sense.
Also, they were married at a young age, they shaped themselves together as they grew, and adjusted well. Even if they didn't like each other that well, the society had a really bad rep for treating divorcees so they eventually adjusted.
There was a lot of laaj lajja at home, hence respect was served both ways (atleast in public), all seem balanced.
Now, things have changed, you know all the counterpoints.
Anyways, the trauma made me realise these and made me observe how sad many of the married couples are, how bad breakups are for others as well.
So to put a logical end to this repetative dispair, I drifted towards asexuality. I think I forced it on myself at first, coz it seemed a logical thing to do. I realised I would want a girl for following reasons and I found a way to deal with all of em :
- Hawas - Realised that only people with hawas could procreate and that's why bits natural for all for our genes to make us hawasi after all these years of elimination of asexual people! Also hormones can be controlled as sadhus do, so I started meditation and staying away from the catalysts like porn, social media, and checking out gals.
- Emotional support - Realised that this is something very tricky, I go through a lot and not sure if the other person would bear it all, also if they do, I would be super dependent on an emotional sponge and if they're gone, well the rabbit hole is too dark to experience again. So I resorted to self introspection, started talking things out when I am alone, started penning things down, at time recording myself for future reference as well.
- Mental and intellectual support - To have someone by your side to make the right decisions. I realised my dad is the best person who can give me a holistic view of whatever needs to be done, I know I can't rely on him forever but I have been training myself a lot now. Also it is tough to find intellectuals in this age of social media and psychologically deteriorated herd mentality.
Despite all these, curiosity crawled over me and I decided to give online dating a try, met a girl, had my first, second and third bang and boy I was not proud at all. It was mostly her pushing us to do stuff, I followed coz the lack of opportunity made me chose a path which wouldn't make me regret "De rahi thi toh kyu nahi liya"
I realised being an emotional fool that I was, I sure need an emotional connect before doing the deed and my emotional connect now has been cut off coz I have brought in a lot of logical pre-requisites to set up a connection.
So yeah, this is my story, I am a forced asexual coz I know I can't find a logically near perfect girl.
Oh a logically near perfect girl would be : 1. Emotional but not cringy. 2. Funny but not immature. 3. Serious for life but humourous to the core. 4. Jack of many trades and master of a few. 5. Who is not into a single domain of life. 6. A minimalist. 7. Always up for logical debates and sees things from a logical angle separating themselves out of the biases.
And yes, this is why I am a forced Asexual.
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2023.01.19 22:26 Strawberry_goldie I need an expert in typing (Part 1)
I need an expert here. Been into this thing for 9 years. I know my function stack and the fact that I am an introvert. that's all. This part 1: consists of Te, Fi, and a part of Ni. Will continue with the other half of Ni and Se.
Arguments for Te and my obsession with productivity:
- I am constantly trying to find areas that I lack and aply rules/routines/habits to those areas to better myself. I record every part of my day to find where I am lacking, then hoard information on how to better those areas. After hoarding information, I move on to the execution. My execution is very well-planned through routines, small habits that would arch through months for me to get better at those areas. Though I plan each and every are of my life, I am impatient and would take quick solutions if there were any.
- How do I apply the steps:
- The feedback stage
- I try to get feedback as much as possible or the system I created which I use as a bullet journal (will explain thoroughly later) as a feedback mechanism. I try to rhink each one of the feedback carefully and thorouhly to apply them. Which of my behaviors caused that, what did I do, what didn’t I do, where do I lack?
- The information hoard stage
- This is the stage where I hoard information on where I lack through learning. I don’t hesitate to make quick purchases, reading difficult material to learn about the causes of my behaviour. I try to analyze causation, relations and results of my behaviour theough what I’velearned from an objective lens.
- The planning stage
- This is the state I analyze what I’ve learned to make it a part of my routine. I take a theory or vague information and turn it into concrete steps. I don’t know how to explain this stage but in my system (similar to habitica) I give points to each behaviour and reward them through points ( and later purchases with the accumulation of points) to turn them into habits.
- The execution stage
- I keep record of every execution, every part of the day in detail on my journal. I make Daily, weekly, and monthly checks of my point of the Game.
- The fact that I invented a game to keep my progress
- I invented a game/system that is similar to habitica as I would give or take points for nearly action regarding 5 categories: health, mental health, work, budget and developmental. The health category consists of eating, exercising, skincare, and self-grooming habits. Mnetal health category consist of my attacks, meditations, exercising, eating healthy, communication (basically everything that would affect your mental health). Work consist of every Project that I fisnih, every e-mail sent, procrastination, contributing and leaving/arriving at time. Budget includes the Money I spent either carefully or haphazarldy and financial calculations. Developmental is a large cateogry that includes anything I do to achieve my future/future self. It has a wide range from leraning france to makin friends to have a better network. I set up certain points to achieve in each category.
- Immature use of Te
- While I have always been focused on productivy and being a better verision of myself since I was a child, I can’t stop thinking that this is a very immature way of using Te. I find many Te users simply “doing” and not very focused of every aspect as they simply set goals to achieve and productivity flows through them naturally. On the other hand, I make productivity something that is complicated and difficult to keep.
- Why productivity?
- While writing about this typing, I asked myself why am I obsessed with productivity and bettering myself regarding certain areas of my life (leadership, better at my work, extroversion, performance, writing, and painting) and need to be the “best” in those areas I couldn’t find any logical explanation. Let’s go through a series of events on a certain aspect which I would like to better and analyze the reason why would I like to focus better:
- The race
- There’s a rat race in my mind that consistenlty compares me to everyone around me incusling my entj boss. I am someone who is very competitive on nearly every area, I careless spend my energy when it comes to competietion regardless of winning serves my main pupose or not. I constantly compare the work produced by my peers and my boss and belittle myself. I can even say that I feel a certain lack perhaps. I don’t find this race logical or humane as I punish each monet spend surfing a lack. Also this rat race doesn’t take into consideration that I have been diagnosed with ADHD so my attention would be differetn than a person who is neuotypical in natüre.
- The reputation
- I am someone who is very focused on my image and how others percevie me. I seldom live, rather I experince myself through th eyes of others. I need to be “seen” as responsible, trustworthy, ethical, hard-working, and a good leader. Whereas I am not seen, I basically don’t care. I only care as far as I am seen (this is going to be elaborated during the arguments regarding Fi)
- The tool, it is a tool for me to achieve my best self. I am not productive fo the sake of it. I thought about it throughly and there are many areas where I simply refuse to be productşve as it doesn’t serve my highest self. Such as hobbies, love, friendship, keeping the house orderly, household chores, keeping up with my beauty.
- The punishment
- As a child, I would often get punished emotionally by my father for not living to the identity he set up for me. In his eyes, I was born as a gifted child and he molded my identity as if it was clay. I was supposed to get the best grades, be good a sports and şeadership posotions; otherwise he would say that “This is not who you are. This is not my daugterh, what happenede to you? You used to be the best. I want my daughter to drive back.” Thinking about it, this emotional molding made me shape my identiy very early and left no place for exploration.
- The identity
- This productive person is who I am. I am supposed to be the best. I take every moment spent aimless as an attack towards this sense of identity. The best is my past, my present, and my future. I will elaborate this in the next chapter
Arguments of Fi and why I struggle with typing
- Me vs the Others
- I developed this mentality during my early adolescence. As I become more withdrwn and soul-searching I found no one similar to me. I couldn’t find anyone to talk about my interest, my feelings, my musings as they only seem be interested in mundane things and gossip. I had a serious aversion to gossip and refused to talk about mundanity. I had a superiorty complex regarding my status in school (gifted, best at everything, very popular) and found no one at my level of depth. This was also the time I started to be bullied by my relatives for my interests (suspected Aspergers). This continued in high-school and college. I felt as if there’s a glass Wall between me and other people. I learned how to talk in their language and they couldn’t. I yearned for people who would understand me (my 3 friends: INFJ, ENFP, ISTJ). During college I learned how to fit in, as I was desperate to fit in but it always feşt like a betrayal of my identiy because I defined my identiy as me against the others from a very young age. Ah, and it turned out to be that I am not very good at masking. People, cismen to be exact, would often call me weird and psychopathic from me. I faced no open confrantion from ciswomen other than excludign me from their groups but cismen were the worst.
- Unpenetratable Ethical Code
- I have a vey strange ethical code that only I follow and it seldom makes sense to people around me. For instance, I am comfortable with lying to save my reouataion and lying about who I am to liet o people about my identity. I am fine with getting away with many things as longs as it’s not seen. Shopping addiction, having sex without my parents knowing, drinking, smoking… As long as it makes me a part of a group and makes my reputation shinier, I am up for it. But there are certain principles that I am not allowed to penetrate. Yelling, any form of violance and mediating (used to be the mediator of my family, past trauma), manipulating, effexting someone’s deicison process. I do not forgive any of these beaviours even if they are on logical and objective grounds.
- Before and After Anxiety Meds
- I can certainly say that I was more aware of my emotions before anxiety medication. I would know what I feel, how I feel and why I feel instantly and write about them to analyze or make an art later. I knew that I experinced emotons deeper than other people and saw them asa hindrance on my way to success. I would take th eemotion in moment and explain them through symbol and sensations to create art.
- My art
- This is an example of my art:
Weird. I can feel it in my bones. Coming from the heads to the tails, following through my marrows and spilling to the sea. The water is everywhere. It’s covering my skin, leaking in me like a sponge. It’s in my eyes, I don’t know where the end of my tears and the water begins. It’s where my blood is supposed to be. It’s in my lungs and sweetly climbing into my veins. It’s in my head and it’s the only thing I feel.
I am laying on a riverbed that has overflown new. I thought it was dried long ago, where I could see its cracked skin and felt the dust in my lung and finally, I could breathe in the scorching sun again where my lungs were burning alive. But it’s not. The water is everywhere. Roaring and howling in my ears with the same growl over and over again.
Not-not-not. A bunch of nots. A couple of lost opportunities and a few blamings.
But it’s OK. I like drowning anyway.
My goal is to create a primal sensation through writing. I create vague pieces through symbol and aim to pull out a sensation/feeling from the subconsious of the reader which is unexplainable and primal.
- How I experience art
- I used to experience art through my feelings. I would try to take in the sensation of the piece (think about how the guy with the camera described the plastic bag in American Beauty) and let my subconsciousness roam with meaning and sensations. Only afterward I would focus on the hidden meaning, and symbolism of the art.
- At my happiest
- If I would live my happiest life, I wouldn’t be this into productvity. I would basically live in a village near the forest or the sea. I would live each day through spontaneity, take spontenous walks in the forest and experince the feelings. I would take in the sky and bask in the sensation of a wander (going to be elaborated on Se)
- My childhood
- I would often feel infinite sensations of beauty and unity that would overwhelm me and make m cry for hours. These euphoric episodes would be triggered by feeling the god, hearing a piece of music, experincenign a piece of art. I would feel connected to humanity and oneness.
- My struggle with typing
- I use typing as a confirmation of my identity as the best. I have biases towards extroversion and intuition and I refuse to take introversion and sensing for an answer. I could only recently accept that I am an introvert as an extrovert wouldn’t be so focused on their inner world. Even though I type myself as I fit, I know that the types I “select” doesn’t fit who I am. Thus, I would be lying to myself.
- Betrayal of Identity
- I go with the quote “know who you are and wear it like a shield”. Knowing who I am and pretending to be someone else fort he applause/admiration makes me feel like I betrayed who I am. As I leanred how to talk with people in college I came to realizetion that I was pretending to be someone else so I became withdrawn again. Regarding the areas that doesn’t bring shame to me, I am exteemly honest. Yes I experince panic attacks, yes I am a bisuxeal , yes I’m short etc.
- Easy to offend
- No explanations needed.
Arguments for Ni and experiencing symbolism through feelings:
- No overarching vision
- I don’t feel like I have an overarching vision of what I will do (for INTJs) and be (for INFJs). I don’t live my every moment for the future. I do have goals (being the best compettion lawyer, living abroad) which I decided in the childhood and I follow them through plans.
- The feeling of doom
- I decided that I was to become a doctor in childhood. I became devastated when my exam result came. I only accepted going to law school as it was the second best option and I would still be succesful there. During the first years of high school I felt like I was dead and it took me 4 years to find my pupose again.
- My meditations and relationship with higher beings
- This will be explained in relation to Fi.
- Logical explanation
- I don’t find believing in a higher being like a god (or a goddes in my case) but I accpeted that believing in a higher being makes me life simply better. So I follow the steps that would make me believe/be relieved through a belief basically. I pray often, meditate and count my gratitudes routinely.
- My relationship with my original religion
- I used to be a very religious child (I refuse to name my previous religion so as not to cause any discussions) and would talk to god often like a friend. In my mind, everything that happened in my life or in nature was a way of god communicating with me. He was my only friend and he was the only being that could understand my emotions
- I experienced nearly every type of obsession on the OCD spectrum and the earliest of them was the obsession with defaming god. I would basically say inappropriate words in my head without any intention and would apologize for them 36 times. No explanation, it had to be at least 36 times for me to be forgiven.
- Atheist phase of adolescence. I realized no god would punish a child for bad behavior so why was I punished? Why did he forsake me? Why couldn^’t I hear him anymore and why wasn’t I admired/loved/respected as before as I became less succesful. I searched the answers in god instead of blaming my lack of dicipline lol. No Te in sight.
- I went back to my relgion as I learned that scientifically people who believe in higher Powers are happier. I enforced relgion upon myself in a unique way. I prayed in my own language, without covering myself and without applying the cleaning ritual. I fought every member of my family for women’s right to experience their religion in a way that is freeing to them as I claimed that “An Omni-being who created me wouldn’t care if my hair is seen or not”
- After the meds
- I felt no need for praying after I became stable. I read about feminist theory and their applying often, I believe in no religon that would make women the second gender.
- I was always curious about religions and their culture. Its a curiosity of mine to search for religions and learn about them without applying them. I make sure to participate in the community without harming anyone or their beliefs and sense different deities. However, I created my own belief system in time.
TBC... Thanks in advance
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2023.01.12 22:08 thechessgoddess Type me based on my writing as a 12 year old (mucho texto warning)
#1: My 5 Least Favorite Songs (Editor's Note: the only one written when I was 10, everything else was coincidentally written when I was 12 and everything here is ordered chronologically. There isn't really much relevant information in this, but it's funny so I'm including it. Lastly, there are no typos in this, I genuinely did not ever complete this list.)
- What Makes You Beautiful
Well, you know what makes this song beautiful? Nothing.
- Call Me Maybe
All this Call Me Maybe's full of it, one more Call Me Maybe and I'll be sick (an edited line from the song 'Payphone' by Maroon 5)
Well, who needs boyfriends, anyway? #2: Random Song (Editor's Note: That was actually the title. I never bothered to come up with a more descriptive title. I also didn't finish the song, hence its short length.)
Do you remember that one time
That nothing was alright
You thought you saw the entire drill
But no one ever will
In this new world today
I will not be able to stay
If I make just one wrong move
Everyone else will disapprove #3: Going Gaga, Chapter 1 (Editor's Note: Literally a personal diary recounting real life events, all names changed to remove identifying information.)
Sponge was in a corner and I had the Gator ball (the type of ball used for dodgeball) so I decided to target him. I rolled the ball toward his feet, but he used the walls to push himself off the ground. Coming back onto the ground, his feet unfortunately landed on the Gator ball I rolled. Our Gaga coach, Mrs. Fridge, whistled (which meant someone was out), since the ball touched him in an area below the knee. He came in third place.
Two left: Me and Pickle. We exchanged ball rolls, until I had the ball and started to face it in different directions, making Pickle run around the gym while staying very close to the walls. I rolled the ball right toward him when he was running, and it touched both of his feet perfectly! Mrs. Fridge whistled again at an ear-splitting volume, which made most people plug their ears, but for me, it was the loud whistle of victory!
Of course, the fun had to end. We lined up as the practice came to a close. Usually that meant we just said our goodbyes, but this time, Mrs. Fridge had an announcement to make. "Before we leave, I just have to announce that we will be having a new member starting next week, and his name is Star. He's never played Gaga before, so I want you to be extra supportive towards him. Any questions?"
Wait... STAR FISH, THE ONE AND ONLY?! He was in my class during the school year! Although he may not have played Gaga before, he's ultra good at sports, like hockey, tennis, basketball, and even dodgeball, which was actually the inspiration for Gaga. Also, there weren't usually any announcements at the end of practice - if there were any, Mrs. Fridge typically got them out of the way before we started training.
Still no questions, as usual. It's very uncommon that anyone on our Gaga team has any extra questions because Mrs. Fridge is very clear with her explanations.
"Great. Other than that, you are all dismissed. Good job everyone, and I'll see you all on Monday."
Most of us would probably be excited for the weekend, but not me. In fact, weekends are my least favorite days of the week, and here's my list of major reasons why.
Why I Don't Enjoy Weekends
- No Gaga practice!
Gaga, on the left hand, is so much fun, and I'm actually kind of passionate about it. It won't be my career, though, because that's not even possible in the USA!
- No music lessons!
Music, on the other (right) hand, is my true passion, and I used to have music lessons on the weekends. I took piano and vocal lessons for the spring semester of music school, but since it's summer, I won't take vocal lessons because our spring vocal coach isn't available. If I did, I had to be with a different coach, and having to deal with multiple teaching styles may confuse me. As for piano lessons, they were moved to Thursday evening, after Gaga training ends.
- I don't get to see my friends!
Most kids would on the weekends, but not me because I don't live near enough to them, so a hang-out time would be difficult to arrange.
- My. Father.
He constantly annoys me to the point that I feel uncomfortable around him. My mother would do that too sometimes, but it's not as bad. Approximately one weekend per month, I would get to stay with my mother over the weekend, but I still don't get to see my friends, which means full-blown family time. To survive those (often embarrassing) situations, I try to hide on my bed, play with technology, and avoid my parents as much as possible. My 7 year old brother, Trollface, is okay, though. He's very naughty, but his cuteness and my unconditional love for him make up for it.
My babysitter, Hayley, most often comes on the weekends, and she helps make them better. Although I've only seen her three times, she's an awesome babysitter from what I saw so far. She's a refreshing change from my former babysitter, Amy, who disagreed with me on almost everything. (More clearly, me and Amy were not the right match for each other.)
This weekend, though, I was staying with my father... THE. WHOLE. TIME. I also had to stay there longer than usual; from Friday evening to Monday morning. Indeed, when I was at my school's lobby to get picked up, Dad was already there. I knew it: We were going straight to their apartment right away. Yes, Mom and Dad were separated (not legally divorced yet) so they lived in different apartments (not houses, since we lived in [REDACTED] and houses were expensive here.)
Friday night wasn't so bad, since I basically spent the entire night (after finishing my nightly routine) playing on my electronic devices and chatting with friends on Edmodo, which was a student social network. Our former computer teacher, Mrs. Bubbles, set up our accounts and groups on Edmodo more than a year ago.
I kept thinking to myself, "If I spend more time alone, my weekend will be better," because it's fine when I'm doing something alone, but when family comes in, that opens up the door for many more humiliating (or painful, with Trollface) situations.
It was difficult for me to sleep because of electronics, thinking of strategies for having a better time, and thinking about sport-experienced Star joining our Gaga team.
I was still able to get enough sleep in those conditions, though. The next morning, I woke up and did my normal morning routine - nothing special. Me and Trollface usually wake up early, but Trollface typically spends hours playing with electronics before he starts getting ready. I would sometimes do that, and other days (like today) I would just get right into my morning routine. I had to wait a while for Dad to wake up and get my favorite breakfast (oatmeal) for me, but I wasn't willing to wait today, so I got cereal for myself. I asked Trollface if he wanted any, but he wanted oatmeal instead. Dad woke up a lot later than us - as usual. This morning, he woke up at exactly 9:00 a.m. I was the only person in the house that was finished with my morning routine and ready to go outside. I played with my iPad as I waited for everyone else to get ready. By 11:00 a.m., everyone was ready. Then we decided where to go outside to.
For lunch, we went to a pizza restaurant called Sauce, which none of us had eaten at before. Dad was thinking about Doughy, a pizza restaurant that he and Trollface have went to before, but Saucy was on the way. They shared 2 personal-sized pizzas, and I got a mixed vegetable lasagna. Both pizzas had cheese and tomato sauce. One had lots of mushrooms, whereas the other had broccoli and bacon. For the broccoli and bacon pizza, though, we were given the large-sized pizza, so Dad asked to take back the large pizza and have a personal-sized one instead. We got one after waiting for a few minutes, which was nice, but Dad was still complaining. He said; loud and clear, "Take that as a hint - the service here sucks. My advice is - have a nice day; go somewhere else." Some people turned their heads to look at him. Me and Trollface completely ignored that comment.
Later he also said, "I don't think I'm coming back. The pizza was not bad, but not as good as Doughy. The service was really bad." Not only was I very embarrassed, I also didn't agree. I didn't mind the service, and I thought the food was truly delicious!
Later in the afternoon, we went to a bakery called Flaky to get snacks, but I didn't get any (I usually didn't at Flaky). Dad got a chocolate croissant and a cup of coffee. Trollface got a ham and cheese croissant. There were no empty tables, so we had to sit with people we didn't know. That prepared me for one of Dad's tendencies - randomly speaking to people he didn't know. That wasn't like a planned meeting, so what's the point? My grandmother told me that Dad was shy, but I told Mom about it and Mom said that he wasn't shy at all (unlike me, I'm very shy around people I don't know well). When he speaks to strangers, it gets under my skin. I repeatedly prayed silently: "DON'T TALK TO THEM!"
A few minutes later...
DANG IT!!! He did! He asked them about where they were from, where they lived, and he tried to find things they had in common. I still kept my mouth shut, but I gave Dad unappreciative looks and rolled my eyes. (Hint: Since I'm so shy, I express my feelings better with my eyes than with my mouth. Also, I didn't want to say something mean.) All I thought was, "STOP! STOP TALKING TO THEM!!!"
Trollface also talked to them a little bit, especially about Albert Einstein's IQ and who's smarter than Albert Einstein. He even had the nerve to ask them, "What's your IQ?" I thought, "That's a very personal question," but I didn't say anything. At first, they responded with, "What do you want it to be?"
They obviously felt uncomfortable answering that question, but they did it. I overheard, and it was higher than the average IQ. I thought, "Ssssssmart!"
Dad ended it off with, "Have a nice time here," which was yet another pet peeve of mine. Dad also had a tendency to say, "Have a nice _" as a way to say goodbye to people he "just met," and it made me cringe every time. It actually made me cringe every time anyone would say that, because they're telling the person to have a nice day, instead of wishing them one.
MY RESPONSE TO "Have a nice day": "I hope/I'll try. I wish the same to you."
MY RESPONSE TO "I hope you have a nice day": "Thank you. You too."
MY RESPONSE TO "Have a nice day" if I'm having a bad day: "I can't, but I hope you can."
MY RESPONSE TO "Have a nice day" at night: "I already did."
MY RESPONSES TO A CLOSE FRIEND SAYING "Have a nice day" when we're messing around:
- "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
- "I won't!"
After that, we had dinner at another restaurant. Dad usually eats at restaurants because he says he's "not good at home cooking." #4: "Think of Me" Parody (Editor's note: unfinished)
Think of me, think of me only
Every day and night
Every second, or else you'll make me cry
When you find that once again you long to take your thoughts back and be free
You will always have a moment when you think of me. #5: "In A Nutshell" Series (Editor's note: Just a little summary/teaser of sorts. This is also the first fictional story we're gonna see here.)
Book 1: In A Nutshell
An 11-year-old schoolgirl, Kallypso (Kallie) Raine Carter is going into middle school - which means switching schools! She's very shy, introverted, and alone - but she also enjoys the company of her one best friend from elementary school, whom she may not see anymore in her new middle school. She will also have to deal with adolescence and the growing insecurities of that age, which may be worse for her since she's already somewhat insecure. In elementary school, she often had to endure hurtful teasing, bullying, rumors, gossip, figurative backstabbing, and peer rejection, which caused her to become a lot less confident in herself. However, she probably experienced that meanness because she's NOT your average pre-teen girl.
THE "AVERAGE PRE-TEEN GIRL" (a.k.a. the future "popular girls" in her upcoming middle school)
• A social butterfly
• Goes on social networks, IM, and text messages for hours on end
• On the school's cheerleading team (not necessarily a character trait of the stereotypical "average pre-teen girl", but certainly a character trait of the "popular girls" in her upcoming middle school.)
• Loves hanging out with friends at the local mall (without parents of course! At the mall, they shop for the latest fashions and the best beauty products.)
• Dreads everything related to academics (some of the popular girls are academically decent, but others simply don't care. All of them, though, loathe anything academic.)
• ALWAYS have their nails painted (including their toenails, if they are wearing open-toe shoes.)• They wear makeup every day (they don't pile it on, but, as self-proclaimed beauty gurus, they wear just enough for others to notice that they're wearing makeup.)
• As for their fashionista style, they usually wear revealing outfits, including mini-skirts, low-cut tops, really short shorts, #6: Story: In A Nutshell (Editor's note: I don't know why I named one of the characters after a famous tennis player. I wasn't even into tennis lol)
Chapter 1: Congratulations!
I had just graduated from elementary school at Pinewood Academy, which was one building that has two levels. Elementary school is called Pinewood Lower, which runs from kindergarten to 5th grade, and middle school is called Pinewood Upper, which runs from 6th to 8th grade. Although I didn't win any awards, I still felt proud of myself for my achievements at Pinewood Lower.
MY BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENTS AT PINEWOOD LOWER
- Finding a best friend! Her name is Serena Williams, and we're best friends because we can naturally relate to each other, are always there for each other, and are completely honest about our friendship. Serena is genuinely sweet but realistic, and will warn me if needed. She's wonderful at helping me out with anything that I need help with.
- Making the honor roll! I don't enjoy academics, but surprisingly my grades were decent enough to make it.
- Winning chess tournaments! I was a member of my school's chess club (officially called "Pinewood Academy Chess Club"). The tournaments were small, and all players were members of school chess clubs, but it's still very exciting that I won them.
- What just happened about a few minutes ago - graduating Pinewood Lower! It feels awesome that I made it through my somewhat difficult journey there.
As I stated in #4 on MY BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENTS AT PINEWOOD LOWER, it WAS a somewhat difficult journey there.
THE BIGGEST DIFFICULTIES ABOUT ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
- Getting teased and bullied! Some immature boys used to call me "Kaylee Raine Farter". Those same boys also gave me wedgies, sometimes having a contest of who can give the highest (or best) wedgie on me. I was rejected and treated unkindly by most of my peers. Girls would make nasty (and false) rumors about me, and gossip about me when they think I don't hear. A well-kept secret of mine is that I have very sharp hearing ability, so I was usually able to hear everything they said. Mostly I just shrugged the meanness off, and it wasn't a big deal to me, but the rejection still made me feel uncomfortable.
- My shyness. I'm not much of a social person, and I usually prefer staying alone (or with Serena.) For example, in the lunchroom, other people are sitting in a big group, telling funny stories about their experiences, and I'm just hiding in the corner with Serena. At that point, we usually mess around with each other in that friendly-teasing way, sometimes involving our trademark inside jokes. No one pays attention to us or joins us, but that's fine. Sometimes I think of talking to the other friend groups, but I'm too nervous to muster up the courage because of the fear that it would become awkward.
- "Nerdiness." I don't think I'm a nerd, but others consider me that because of my academic and chess success. (Hey, I was a poet and I didn't even know it!) That's one of the reasons why I'm one of the school's main targets of teasing and bullying. Also, people think chess is "nerdy"? Think again.
As for academics, did I already say I don't enjoy them?
I shamefully admit that I dressed like a nerd sometimes, though. I was too lazy to put much effort into the way I look, and I don't even have much time in the morning before school. Usually, all I did was pick some random clothes from my closet, make sure they don't look crazy, and then put them on. As for hair, I only did a simple ponytail. I didn't do anything fancy to it, 'coz ain't nobody got time fo' dat, but that's going to change in middle school.
I have a new plan for middle school: Try to get in the popular group. I'll do that by keeping up with the latest trends, like fashion, beauty, music, TV shows, and movies. I'll completely crack out of my quiet little nutshell and also start keeping up with my school's latest gossip. I'll put more effort into my looks, no matter how tired or lazy I feel. I'll make sure to observe everything they do so that I have a better understanding of what's "cool", and ditch everything they think is uncool or nerdy, like chess. In fact, some mean girls in Pinewood Lower used to call me a "pawn" for being in the school chess club, which was downgrading because a pawn is the least powerful piece on the chess board.
I'll just cross my fingers and hope for the best, since I surely don't want to relive those experiences. #7: Chapter 2: 2 Months, 2 Weeks, and 2 Days Later (Editor's note: This is Chapter 2 of In A Nutshell.)
It's September 5, which is also the Friday before school starts on Monday. This summer was very relaxing and it was a breath of fresh air to take a break from the ongoing drama at school. However, it may have been a little bit TOO relaxing, because, not having much to do, it got boring for me. I went to chess camp and won a few tournaments, but that was it.
Me and my 8-year-old sister Pauline were going to go shopping for school clothes this weekend with Mom, which was something that I was very excited for since I've been intensely studying fashion over the summer. (My other siblings, To make matters BETTER, we got to pick out our own clothes, but, of course, they had to be approved by Mom before we bought them.
"LET'S GO GIRLS! STOP THIS NONSENSE AND START GETTING READY! AFTER SHOPPING, YOU'RE GOING STRAIGHT TO DAD'S! DO YOU WANT TO LOOK UGLY IN FRONT OF YOUR DAD?" yelled Mom, for no apparent reason. She would often yell at us for nothing, which really frightens me.
Pauline, being the Energizer Bunny she is, couldn't resist answering the rhetorical question, just to be a smart-aleck. "Yes!" she laughed.
"EXCUSE ME, PAULINE! IF YOU WILL, JUST SHUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!" Mom kept on yelling.
Pauline obediently kept quiet after that, and we both started to put on our shoes.
The first store we went to was Forever 21, since it was known for having affordable yet still fashionable clothing that was appropriate for kids. For me, we got a pink and white striped knit top, blue and pink painted floral print leggings, and a multi-colored cutout crossback floral dress. For Pauline, we got black and white polka dot print leggings and a white glittered kitten graphic tee.
Next, we went to Abercrombie & Fitch. For me, we got a pink printed mesh skater skirt with small white polka dots, and an off-white "boyfriend cardigan." For Pauline, we got a light pink textured intarsia sweater with a silly face, and white and black floral print palazzo pants.
"That went well!" I thought while we were walking out of the store and going back home. Before we were able to leave the store, though, I bumped into one of the mean girls who'd gossip about me and call me a pawn. I was shocked, but I pretended to act normally.
"Hey, Kaylee!" To my surprise, Reese didn't call me a dreadful chess pawn.
Before I was able to say anything else, the other mean girls, Alexia (known more commonly as Lexi), Miya, and Courtney, whom Reese was shopping with, stopped by to say...
"Hey there, chess pawn from the Nerd Castle! Fancy meeting you here," they said in perfect unison, in sarcastic sugary-sweet voices.
"Um... hi," I semi-greeted, looking down at my feet. Then ALL of the mean girls, including Reese, started whispering to each other. I tried my hardest not to pay attention to what they were saying, so I paid more attention to their looks and general appearance.
I "analyzed" for a moment. #8: Face The Music Chapter 1: Transitional Color (Editor's note: I think this was unfinished? I also wrote this before the introduction for whatever reason.)
I regret everything. So much for pretending to be tough in elementary school, when I, deep down, was feeling weak. My parents told me that the most targeted victims of bullying are the people who show the most extreme emotions on it, but apparently that wasn't the case at Pinewood Lower School. I shrugged off all of the bullying that I've endured there, yet I probably had it worse than almost everyone else at the school.
I'm not hopeless yet, though, because I have a plan that will change that. #9: Face The Music: Introduction (Editor's note: I was such a huge fan of Jackie Evancho, the singer, that I unironically wrote fanfiction about her.)
Hello! I'm Jacqueline Evancho, but I go by Jackie. I'm not exactly sure what to call this memoir of my junior high school years...My Junior High School Story?
Nah, sounds too plain.
Junior High School - My Horror Story?
Nah, sounds too scary. I don't want to scare you!
My Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Junior High School Experience?
Nah, too long - and too negative. As I had once quoted, optimism is always the best route to take.
Junior High School - The Best Years Of My Life?
That would be a world record contender for Most Misleading Story Title. I regret what I had said before about optimism being the best route to take, because sometimes you can't be too optimistic. My true belief is that realism is the best route to take.
Memoir Of My Junior High School Years?
Yup, that's more like it, except... I have a better title.
Face The Music?
Yes!!! - Without the question mark.
Now, for a bit more about me... in the form of a list.
My Age: 15 (I had just finished my junior high school years, which explains why I just finished writing this story.)
My Birthday: April 9 #10: The Haunting X Enchantment: Storyline (Editor's note: This piece of fanfiction is about Jackie Evancho and her entire family. I also included piano prodigy Emily Bear and members of her family into this. God help my 12 year old self.)
Inspirations For My Story
- Teen prodigy classical crossover singer, Jackie Evancho
- The Slenderman internet meme and the Slender indie horror game series
- My school
- Teen piano and composing prodigy, Emily Bear
Backstory of main character Jackie Evancho
Jacqueline "Jackie" Evancho isn't the average 14-year-old. She's a straight A student, a musical prodigy, and has amazingly nice manners. She goes to the best junior high school in the USA, and it's called Mistview Woods Junior High (MWJH.) She's a member of the MWJH chorus, and hopes to have a classical crossover singing career. Her mother's name is Lisa, and her father's name is Michael "Mike." Lisa has a high level of perfectionism for her kids, and will begin a long, painful lecture if they make the slightest mistake. Mike is stern when he needs to be, but is typically calm, enjoys playing with his kids, and likes to joke around with them. Jackie's siblings are Jacob (16-year-old brother), Zachary "Zack" (12-year-old brother) and Rachel (10-year-old sister). Despite their usual class acts, the Evancho siblings never seem to agree with anything, and it's crazy how much they fight.
Backstory of MWJH
MWJH is a special private school that requires a uniquely designed (and seemingly impossible) exam to test academic ability and application. A lot of the questions on the exam are about subjects that most schools don't learn. MWJH has also won the National Academic Septathlon 7 years in a row so far and are still on their winning streak! They have won many other academic competitions and have been featured in many books of great schools. They have many non-academic extracurricular clubs, suited to particular student interests. They also have a yearly themed summer camp program, which is reserved to MWJH students and their siblings, but for them, it's always a blast! #11: The Haunting X Enchantment: Last School Monthly Newsletter
It had been a normal day at Mistview Woods Junior High (MWJH), considering it was two days before the last day of school (which meant the academic work was less intense.) As the school day ended, I packed up as usual. When I checked my mailbox, I saw the MWJH Monthly, made by the same student council members that usually created the school's monthly newsletter. I have talked to some of them, but none of them were really my friends. They seemed intelligent and mature for their age, though, which I expected since they were often the first to win awards like Student of the Month.This month, the MWJH Monthly was mostly about this summer, including details on the infamous MWJH summer program that everyone, in past summers, seemed to have a blast doing. I've been to the summer program many times, and I didn't have less fun than everyone else SEEMED to have. I would like to write an in-depth five-hundred-star review on the summer program, but "AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!", so I'll just TYPE that it was thrilling, extraordinary, and awesome! Every summer, there was a theme to the summer program that always brought a new adventure for everyone that attended the camp! However, the camp was reserved for MWJH students, staff, and the students' siblings.This summer I signed up, and the theme was... Fantasy! Each grade had a sub-theme as well, and I was in the 8th grade group (labeled by what grade we were in the past school year), so our theme was Enchanted Forest. The 7th graders' theme was Harry Potter, and the 9th graders' theme was Disneyland. There was also an announcement that for the first time in MWJH, the summer program would be a sleepaway camp in the woods, rather than the usual day camp at the school. I was giddy with excitement, 'nuff typed.
Or not, because I have a lot more to type. This will be MUCH longer.
I've never been to a sleepaway camp before, so I was nervous about being away from my parents for most of the summer vacation (it lasted from July 7 to September 5, and no breaks were allowed in between that time. For those who want to know how long we get to stay at home for summer vacation, school will end on June 20 and start on September 8.) I had a feeling I was going to miss my parents greatly (okay, mostly Dad because I don't get along well with Mom.)
I don't want to worry too much about it now because there are more important things that I have to do, and I'm going to enjoy my summer break at home while it lasts.
In the newsletter, there were also ideas of summer activities, a recap of the school year, and a shortened collection of Q&As with the MWJH graduates (which was everyone in 9th grade.) The newsletter was posted online with the rest of the MWJH Monthlys at the MWJH Official Website, which I check regularly for extra updates on our school. #12: Song: Games Can Be Evil (Editor's note: This is probably the only thing on here I'm actually kinda proud of.)
It's been a while, as you can see
But it's creeping up on me
It's happened before, but I'm very unsure
How to stop it all, it's crazy
This new thing, a little game
Already reaching fame
It's rage-inducing, yet so addicting
Like a drug that drives me insane
It's not just a game
It's a phenomenon of the Internet
My craving has made
My true life fade away
This game is evil
The day it came out of the store
It took the whole world by storm
My high scores matter, but if I splatter
I'll throw my phone out of the door
I can play with more devices
I'll never stop, that is my crisis
And all my friends play the game until it ends
I've got none from real life (except for gaming master Chris!)
It's not just a game
It's a phenomenon of the Internet
My craving has made
My true life fade away
This game is evil, evil, evil... (echoes)
No, it's not just a game
It's a phenomenon of the Internet
My craving has made
My true life fade away
This game is evil
Once I found out about this
I started to play it
Thinking it would be
Just some regular thing
But this time I can't stop
Our group was planning to shop
But I was like, "Just one more round,
and then I've had enough"
Seven hours later and I'm still playing the game
It went by so fast, and I'm so ashamed
It felt like 15 minutes, so when I saw the time
I was like, "How could this happen? My app gets the blame!"
The worst thing is: My high score's just 1
This makes me so mad, now what have I done?
I screamed and yelled some really bad stuff
I slammed my phone on the desk, but I kept playing on...
Because it's not just a game
It's a phenomenon of the Internet
My craving has made
My true life fade away
This game is evil
But one day I found out
That these things don't matter much
Now I do not care
What my high score is there
Because it's just a game
Though it's popular on the Internet
I know getting a life
Is more than scoring high
That game was evil
I recently deleted it
My best choice was to quit
After that hilarity, I regained my sanity
So I won't fall into that pit
(Seems legit) #13: Song: Aurora
Breathless days, sleepless nights
The feeling that I'll die
Everything sunken in
That's how my life has been
My current living place
Is just a town to wait
"Waiting Road," that's what's it called
Until you came along
One day I woke up and I saw you there
The look you gave me was like the nicest stare
I couldn't even breathe, I still don't know why
Without you, I never thought I could reach the sky
You are the one that shines a light
When I am feeling dark deep inside #14: Song: Do I Look Fabulous?
One day I looked into the mirror and saw
How creepy I look without makeup on
I decided, "It's time to get a makeover,
If only someone could take over."
I went to my nearest beauty salon
And saw a lot of things going on
I thought, "I'm not the only one that feels this way!"
I'm here to stay!
I'm usually not the kind of person to do this
But today meeting others was something I could not miss
But I couldn't talk to them much
It was time for my turn to...
Get my new look done
Pretend that I'm the one
Shine bright like the sun
It's going to be so much fun!
Everything about this is so great
It all feels like I've solved my maze
It's time for me to go and ask someone else
Do I look fabulous yet, yet
Do I look fabulous yet?!
Later, I looked into the mirror and saw
How my stylist made me glamorous
I'm on my way to attracting everyone
I'm a magnet, I'm not done
I'm usually not the kind of person to do this
But now I'm going to join the most popular clique
I could talk more, but instead
Never mind, because I'm about to...
Get my new look done
Pretend that I'm the one
Shine bright like the sun
It's going to be so much fun!
Come on and tell me if you know
Do I look fabulous yet, yet
Do I look fabulous yet?! #15: My BIG Chess Blunder?? (Chess Parody of "Untitled (How Could This Happen To Me?)" by Simple Plan) (Editor's note: unfinished)
My opponent is fine
It's his move and I was really out of my mind
Now I remember how
Now I know exactly why
My chance of winning has died
My piece can't stand the pain
Of defending so many things
Because I don't have a brain
How could this happen to me?
I made my mistakes!
It's got nowhere to run
The game goes on
As he captures away
I wanna resign
I can't, so I'll scream
How could this happen to me? #16: Song: The Scary Tree (Editor's note: unfinished)
WRITTEN BY ME
(spoken anxiously) Oh my gosh, what is that thing?
(spoken) No... no... AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
You look at it
Because it has blinded me
Just tell me what's going on
In this... mystery
Now, does that look strange?
Or have you seen it before #17: Song: Awesome Sauce (Editor's note... also unfinished.)
Time travel back a few years
I was just an ordinary kid without fears
Licking on ice cream in the park
And shrieking when you mentioned a shark
We shared each other
Like we shared our funny stories
In a way that keeps that memory so clear
In the best way
We were superglued together
In that time of day
In the spring, with pleasant weather
The flowers bloomed just like we did
We did it like a boss
I took it in and ate that awesome sauce
It's still crystal clear in my mind
Those moments that were one of a kind #18: FNAF SKIT "Was he ready for Freddy?" (Editor's note: I actually wanted to perform this skit at my school talent show but unfortunately I couldn't make it happen. All real names changed to "person from my class" or censored with asterisks just to remove identifying information.)
Host/Mike Schmidt (Player): person from my class
Bonnie: person from my class
Foxy: person from my class
Freddy: person from my class
Golden Freddy/Piano Player: person from my class
AnnouncePiano Player: person from my class
Setting: Freddy Fazbear's Pizza
Mike: (nervously) Hey, um... I'm Mike. Um... this is my last night on the job, working as a nightguard at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. I was warned that the animatronics would be extremely active tonight, so I'm really scared.
Freddy: Hi! I'm Freddy Fazbear, the leader of the pack!
Bonnie: Hi guys! I'm Bonnie the Bunny. Who do you think I am, a girl?!?
Chica: Hey! I'm Chica the Chicken! I love food and pizza!
Foxy: Umm... hi - I'm, umm... Foxy... um... please don't look at me. I. have. stage. fright.
(All animatronics): But whatever. We'll take him down no matter what.
Night 7, 4/20 difficulty
12:00 a.m. (Strategy: Check cams 1 & 1C for first 5 secs, then close the door, check 1C, open the door, flash light outside both doors)
(Bonnie quickly makes his way towards the office, Chica is slightly slower)
Mike: (slightly nervously) Okay, let's do this. I'm soooo... not... ready for Freddy.
Phone Guy: (calls Mike) ring ring ring ring
Phone Guy: Hello, hello?
Mike: (picks up the phone, speaks quickly) Hi! What are some tips-
Phone Guy: (interrupting Mike) TIPS?! You're gonna have to do it on your own tonight. I've given you enough tips already.
(Phone Guy hangs up)
Mike: REALLY?!? That's IT?!?!? I'll call him again.
(Mike picks up the phone and calls Phone Guy, but Phone Guy doesn't pick up)
(Freddy moves to the kitchen and *** plays the first 5 seconds of Freddy's jingle)
Mike: (sighs) I was going to ask him for advice on how to survive this night; the most difficult night of all, but he doesn't seem to care. How am I going to make it through the night like this?!? Plus, I don't really have time to keep trying to call him because the animatronics are quickly approaching my office.
(Bonnie gives an evil laugh when Mike checks the left light, and **** plays her chord)
Mike: (closes the left door and screams) BONNIE?!? I didn't expect you to come so early!
(After Mike finishes his line, Bonnie leaves, and the next time Mike checks the left light, he opens the door)
Announcer: Battery life: 90%
(Chica clashes her pots and pans for 10 seconds)
Mike: Okay, let's see where everyone is. (pulls up monitor for 10 seconds)
Freddy's in the East Hall Corner, Foxy's super active in Pirate Cove, Bonnie's making his way towards my office, and Chica's eating in the kitchen!
(After 10 seconds, the animatronics all give an evil laugh, and that's when Mike pulls down the monitor)
submitted by thechessgoddess
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2023.01.06 07:11 ineverlikedanything I’m much happier being an atheist.
Mostly because I don’t have to participate in all those useless rituals everyday. And I don’t have to worry about something as small as being gay sending me to hell.
I was a complete wreck when I was religious. I would pray, asking for forgiveness after doing the tiniest “bad” thing. Even after masturbating or feeling lust. Both of those are natural things that everyone does, and it’s horrible that the church is trying to shame impressionable children for it.
It’s really immature that some people want others to go to hell for living a different, harmless lifestyle. That’s the adult equivalent of shoving a classmate off the playground because they don’t like SpongeBob.
I’ve also come to terms with death pretty well. I’d rather peacefully fade into non-existence have an afterlife. If an afterlife never ends, wouldn’t it get boring eventually? I’d probably be like “It’s been nice and all flying around the clouds, but I’m done and I want to be dead for real.” Everyone that has and ever will exist must accept the permanence and inevitability of death. Think of it like what it was like before birth. There wasn’t the feeling of time passing. So we don’t have to “deal” with being dead, like how we didn’t have to deal with not being born. It’s lifts a major weight off your shoulders when you realize that harmless fuckup you made isn’t going to send you into flaming-hot coals forever.
I know posts like these are probably 99% of this sub, but I really wanted to get this off my chest. As most of my close family is still religious.
submitted by ineverlikedanything
to atheism [link] [comments]