Microchip for humans 666 2020
bestestgunnitweekend
2020.06.30 01:09 hoofinstien bestestgunnitweekend
A 2nd amendment safe haven for all humans of all races, creed, political sides, sexual orientation, religious beliefs, etc. THIS IS NOT A TRUMP SAFE-HAVEN, WE WILL BULLY YOU. (We bully everyone.) We dont care who you are as long as you love gats and freedom. (except fed bois) We ❤️ Hoof rip OGgunnit 2020
2012.06.10 07:13 Mars One
For anything regarding the Mars One project.
2014.07.14 18:12 a_guile Anthropogenic Global Warming
This is going to be a sub for everything relating to climate change.
2023.05.30 00:26 negradelnorte Weaning
I’m nearing the 6 month mark if combination feeding. I’m an educator so I’m off for the summer right now. I very much ready to have my body back to being mine. I hate pumping at work and being a human pacifier at night. I thoroughly enjoyed BF my LO and am so grateful that I was able to do it as long as I have. I didn’t think we’d make it to 6 months. I have a lot of questions about weaning when you’re combination feeding. Have any of you done it before? How much time should I allow us? How did you do it? Much appreciated!
submitted by negradelnorte to combinationfeeding [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 00:25 egg-maybe-4862 egg🕛irl
 | submitted by egg-maybe-4862 to egg_irl [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 00:24 Paint-lt-Black Super weird human in MA 33 male
Just looking for conversation, friendship, whatever really.
Extremely awkward, weird and mentally unfit to be a human most days.
Come say hi, or don't. Be strange, clever, weird or some combination of the three. I'm no judge.
Discord, snap, here; wherever you're most comfortable. Discord preferred but not necessary.
submitted by Paint-lt-Black to chat [link] [comments]
Extremely awkward, weird and mentally unfit to be a human most days.
Come say hi, or don't. Be strange, clever, weird or some combination of the three. I'm no judge.
Discord, snap, here; wherever you're most comfortable. Discord preferred but not necessary.
2023.05.30 00:24 help-herpes Berries in Herpes Treatment: A Promising Natural Approach
While there are antiviral medications available for herpes treatment, many individuals are seeking more natural approaches to complement or substitute these conventional options, such as berries. In this context, berries have gained prominence as a promising choice in herpes treatment.
Scientific studies have demonstrated that certain berries possess antiviral properties against the herpes simplex virus. For example, blueberries contain a compound called proanthocyanidin A-1, which has shown to inhibit the replication of herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) in laboratory studies. Additionally, blueberries are rich in antioxidants like vitamin C and E, which can strengthen the immune system and help fight viral infection.
Similarly, blackberries and raspberries have been the subject of studies due to their antiviral properties. These fruits contain ellagic acid, a compound that has shown antiviral activity against HSV-1 and HSV-2. Ellagic acid works by inhibiting the penetration of the virus into host cells, thus reducing its replication.
Another noteworthy wild fruit is cranberry. Studies have shown that cranberry extract possesses antiviral properties against HSV-2. Cranberry contains compounds called proanthocyanidins, which are responsible for its antiviral activity. These proanthocyanidins inhibit the binding of the virus to human cells, preventing its entry and replication.
In addition to their antiviral properties, berries can also help reduce the recurrence and severity of herpes outbreaks. This is due to the presence of anti-inflammatory compounds that can help decrease the inflammation associated with HSV infection. Inflammation is a natural response of the immune system, but excessive inflammation can prolong and worsen herpes symptoms.
It is important to note that berries should not be considered as a definitive cure for herpes, and it is always recommended to seek guidance from a healthcare professional for proper treatment. However, incorporating these fruits into a balanced and healthy diet can be beneficial as part of a comprehensive care plan for managing herpes.
In addition to incorporating berries into your diet, it is essential to adopt other healthy practices to aid in herpes treatment. Maintaining proper hygiene, avoiding direct contact with lesions, and refraining from sharing personal items such as towels and kitchen utensils are important measures to prevent the spread of the virus.
Stress management is also crucial as stress can trigger herpes outbreaks. Practices such as regular exercise, meditation, yoga, or relaxation techniques can be helpful in this regard.
While berries have shown promising antiviral and anti-inflammatory effects in herpes treatment, it is important to remember that each individual may respond differently, and results may vary. Additionally, it is important to highlight that berries do not replace prescribed antiviral medications by a doctor, especially in cases of genital herpes or ocular herpes, which may require more intensive medical intervention.
submitted by help-herpes to u/help-herpes [link] [comments]
Are Berries Good for Herpes
Berries, including blueberries, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, and cranberries, are known for their high content of antioxidants, vitamins, and bioactive compounds. These components have been associated with a range of health benefits, including antiviral and anti-inflammatory properties.Scientific studies have demonstrated that certain berries possess antiviral properties against the herpes simplex virus. For example, blueberries contain a compound called proanthocyanidin A-1, which has shown to inhibit the replication of herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) in laboratory studies. Additionally, blueberries are rich in antioxidants like vitamin C and E, which can strengthen the immune system and help fight viral infection.
Similarly, blackberries and raspberries have been the subject of studies due to their antiviral properties. These fruits contain ellagic acid, a compound that has shown antiviral activity against HSV-1 and HSV-2. Ellagic acid works by inhibiting the penetration of the virus into host cells, thus reducing its replication.
Another noteworthy wild fruit is cranberry. Studies have shown that cranberry extract possesses antiviral properties against HSV-2. Cranberry contains compounds called proanthocyanidins, which are responsible for its antiviral activity. These proanthocyanidins inhibit the binding of the virus to human cells, preventing its entry and replication.
In addition to their antiviral properties, berries can also help reduce the recurrence and severity of herpes outbreaks. This is due to the presence of anti-inflammatory compounds that can help decrease the inflammation associated with HSV infection. Inflammation is a natural response of the immune system, but excessive inflammation can prolong and worsen herpes symptoms.
It is important to note that berries should not be considered as a definitive cure for herpes, and it is always recommended to seek guidance from a healthcare professional for proper treatment. However, incorporating these fruits into a balanced and healthy diet can be beneficial as part of a comprehensive care plan for managing herpes.
Consuming Berries in Herpes Treatment
A recommended approach is to consume fresh berries whenever available to maximize the benefits. However, when they are out of season, you can turn to frozen or dried options as long as they don’t contain added sugars. Natural juices can also be an alternative, but it is important to check for the absence of added sugars or artificial preservatives.In addition to incorporating berries into your diet, it is essential to adopt other healthy practices to aid in herpes treatment. Maintaining proper hygiene, avoiding direct contact with lesions, and refraining from sharing personal items such as towels and kitchen utensils are important measures to prevent the spread of the virus.
Stress management is also crucial as stress can trigger herpes outbreaks. Practices such as regular exercise, meditation, yoga, or relaxation techniques can be helpful in this regard.
While berries have shown promising antiviral and anti-inflammatory effects in herpes treatment, it is important to remember that each individual may respond differently, and results may vary. Additionally, it is important to highlight that berries do not replace prescribed antiviral medications by a doctor, especially in cases of genital herpes or ocular herpes, which may require more intensive medical intervention.
2023.05.30 00:24 a-thousand-to-one Your unforgettable moments from Outer Wilds
I first played OW at the end of 2020 and haven't played it since (apart from the DLC), yet I find myself at random moments recalling some experiences I had playing the game. There's no other game I think about after finishing it more than OW, it truly has a special place in my heart.
Here are my personal moments from OW that never seem to leave my memory, even after all these years:
Would love to hear what everyone else's unforgettable moments from Outer Wilds are.
submitted by a-thousand-to-one to outerwilds [link] [comments]
Here are my personal moments from OW that never seem to leave my memory, even after all these years:
- First time falling into the black hole at Hollow's Deep. I misjudged a jump and found myself falling into the unknown, and for those few seconds I was absolutely terrified thinking what the hell is going to happen to me falling through a black hole!
- Going through Giant's Deep's atmosphere. Even after the umpteenth time visiting that planet, I never got over that initial fear of seeing that giant mass of water with those violently-turning watersprouts.
- Another one from Giant's Deep, the fear of being on an island as it gets blasted through the stratosphere, spending those few moments in the vast emptiness of space, then crashing back down to the planet. Even when I knew what was going to happen, I always prayed for theisland to fall back to Giant's Deep instead continuing into the vast emptiness of space .
- Running out of jetpack fuel in space and being too far away from my ship. Even in a video game, that sense of helplessness is not something I want to experience again.
- First time visiting Dark Bramble. One word: creepy. This was before I found out about anglerfish. Let's just say after encountering the anglerfish for the first time, all the energy disappeared from my soul and I finished playing for the day.
- And finally, my most poignant and humbling experience: rushing back to my spaceship after finishing up at Hollow's Deep, sitting in the cockpit preparing myself for liftoff, suddenlyhearing End Times play, realising I've run out of time, having a mini "what should I do now?" meltdown, accepting that my "end" has come, getting out of my spaceship, then peacefully standing on Hollow Deep's surface as the planet collapses in on itself and I watch the Sun explode and slowly destroy life and the universe right infront of my eyes. Wow, what an unforgettable moment. I went through such a rush of thought and emotion for those few minutes. I don't think I'll ever experience that playing a video game ever again, and the reason why Outer Wilds is and forever will be the greatest video game of all time.
Would love to hear what everyone else's unforgettable moments from Outer Wilds are.
2023.05.30 00:23 M0506 Nonfiction book - rich white man in antebellum south had kids with free black housekeeper, kids and housekeeper had “secret” part of the house to themselves
I read this book for a college class in 2007 or 2008, and I regret selling it back to the bookstore.
This guy lived with his housekeeper and they had three or four kids together, which he never acknowledged as his. The housekeeper and the kids had this whole spacious wing of the house to themselves, but the only way to get to that part of the house was through a door in the man’s bedroom. The man’s relatives were suspicious, because the housekeeper would be obviously pregnant yet again and there was no other likely candidate for the father of the baby.
I’m not sure, but I think the housekeeper died before the man. When he died, the kids got left a lot of money in his will and the relatives were mad. They found books in his house about how “racial mixing” was eugenically good for humanity.
The man was not anybody famous. I think the state he lived in might have been one of the Carolinas.
submitted by M0506 to whatsthatbook [link] [comments]
This guy lived with his housekeeper and they had three or four kids together, which he never acknowledged as his. The housekeeper and the kids had this whole spacious wing of the house to themselves, but the only way to get to that part of the house was through a door in the man’s bedroom. The man’s relatives were suspicious, because the housekeeper would be obviously pregnant yet again and there was no other likely candidate for the father of the baby.
I’m not sure, but I think the housekeeper died before the man. When he died, the kids got left a lot of money in his will and the relatives were mad. They found books in his house about how “racial mixing” was eugenically good for humanity.
The man was not anybody famous. I think the state he lived in might have been one of the Carolinas.
2023.05.30 00:23 Unferal_Maligator516 No trend or anything, I just wanted to post this here
 | submitted by Unferal_Maligator516 to DeathBattleMatchups [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 00:23 iamdeletosh Firat Inaugural Address by President Bola Ahmed Timubu
My Fellow Citizens,
I stand before you honoured to assume the sacred mandate you have given me. My love for this nation is abiding. My confidence in its people, unwavering. And my faith in God Almighty, absolute. I know that His hand shall provide the needed moral strength and clarity of purpose in those instances when we seem to have reached the limits of our human capacity.
This day is bold and majestic yet bright and full of spirit, as is our precious nation.
As a nation, we have long ago decided to march beyond the dimness of night into the open day of renewed national hope.
The question we now ask ourselves is whether to remain faithful to the work inherent in building a better society or retreat into the shadows of our unmet potential.
For me, there is but one answer. We are too great a nation and too grounded as a people to rob ourselves of our finest destiny.
This nation’s journey has been shaped by the prayers of millions, and the collective sacrifices of us all.
We have endured hardships that would have made other societies crumble.
Yet, we have shouldered the heavy burden to arrive at this SUBLIME moment where the prospect of a better future merges with our improved capacity to create that future.
To the surprise of many but not to ourselves, we have more firmly established this land as a democracy in both word and deed.
The peaceful transition from one government to another is now our political tradition. This handover symbolizes our trust in God, our enduring faith in representative governance and our belief in our ability to reshape this nation into the society it was always meant to be.
Here, permit me to say a few words to my predecessor, President Muhammadu Buhari. Mr President, you have been an honest, patriotic leader who has done his best for the nation you love. On a more personal note, you are a worthy partner and friend. May History be kind to you.
For many years, Nigeria’s critics have trafficked the rumour that our nation will break apart, even perish.
Yet here we are. We have stumbled at times, but our resilience and diversity have kept us going.
Our burdens may make us bend at times, but they shall never break us.
Instead, we stand forth as Africa’s most populous nation and as the best hope and strongest champion of the Black Race.
As citizens, we declare as one unified people devoted to one unified national cause, that as long as this world exists, NIGERIA SHALL EXIST.
Today, Fate and Destiny join together to place the torch of human progress in our very hands. We dare not let it slip.
We lift high this torch so that it might shine on every household and in every heart that calls itself Nigerian. We hold this beam aloft because it lights our path with compassion, brotherhood, and peace. May this great light never EXTINGUISH.
Our administration shall govern on your behalf but never rule over you. We shall consult and dialogue but never dictate. We shall reach out to all but never put down a single person for holding views contrary to our own.
We are here to further mend and heal this nation, not tear and injure it.
In this vein, may I offer a few comments regarding the election that brought us to this juncture. It was a hard fought contest. And it was also fairly won. Since the advent of the Fourth Republic, Nigeria has not held an election of better quality.
The outcome reflected the will of the people. However, my victory does not render me any more Nigerian than my opponents. Nor does it render them any less patriotic.
They shall forever be my fellow compatriots. And I will treat them as such. They represent important constituencies and concerns that wisdom dare not ignore.
They have taken their concerns to court. Seeking legal redress is their right and I fully defend their exercise of this right. This is the essence of the rule of law.
Over six decades ago, our founding fathers gave bravely of themselves to place Nigeria on the map as an independent nation.
We must never allow the labor of those who came before us to wither in vain but to blossom and bring forth a better reality.
Let us take the next great step in the journey they began and believed in.
Today, let us recommit our very selves to placing Nigeria in our hearts as the indispensable home for each and every one of us regardless of creed, ethnicity, or place of birth.
My supporters, I thank you. To those who voted otherwise, I extend my hand across the political divide. I ask you to grasp it in national affinity and brotherhood. For me, political coloration has faded away. All I see are Nigerians.
May we uphold these fitting and excellent notions as the new Nigerian ideal.
My fellow compatriots,
The Nigerian ideal which I speak of is more than just an improvement in economic and other statistics. These things are important; but they can never convey the fullness of our story.
Our mission is to improve our way of life in a manner that nurtures our humanity, encourages compassion toward one another, and duly rewards our collective effort to resolve the social ills that seek to divide us.
Our constitution and laws give us a nation on paper. We must work harder at bringing these noble documents to life by strengthening the bonds of economic collaboration, social cohesion, and cultural understanding. Let us develop a shared sense of fairness and equity.
The South must not only seek good for itself but must understand that its interests are served when good comes to the North. The North must see the South likewise.
Whether from the winding creeks of the Niger Delta, the vastness of the northern savannah, the boardrooms of Lagos, the bustling capital of Abuja, or the busy markets of Onitsha, you are all my people. As your president, I shall serve with prejudice toward none but compassion and amity towards all.
In the coming days and weeks, my team will publicly detail key aspects of our programme. Today, permit me to outline in broad terms a few initiatives that define our concept of progressive good governance in furtherance of the Nigerian ideal:
The principles that will guide our administration are simple:
Security shall be the top priority of our administration because neither prosperity nor justice can prevail amidst insecurity and violence.
To effectively tackle this menace, we shall reform both our security DOCTRINE and its ARCHITECTURE.
We shall invest more in our security personnel, and this means more than an increase in number. We shall provide, better training, equipment, pay and firepower.
THE ECONOMY
On the economy, we target a higher GDP growth and to significantly reduce unemployment.
We intend to accomplish this by taking the following steps:
First, budgetary reform stimulating the economy without engendering inflation will be instituted.
Second, industrial policy will utilize the full range of fiscal measures to promote domestic manufacturing and lessen import dependency.
Third, electricity will become more accessible and affordable to businesses and homes alike. Power generation should nearly double and transmission and distribution networks improved. We will encourage states to develop local sources as well.
I have a message for our investors, local and foreign: our government shall review all their complaints about multiple taxation and various anti-investment inhibitions.
We shall ensure that investors and foreign businesses repatriate their hard earned dividends and profits home.
JOBS
My administration must create meaningful opportunities for our youth. We shall honour our campaign commitment of one million new jobs in the digital economy.
Our government also shall work with the National Assembly to fashion an omnibus Jobs and Prosperity bill. This bill will give our administration the policy space to embark on labour-intensive infrastructural improvements, encourage light industry and provide improved social services for the poor, elderly and vulnerable.
Agriculture
Rural incomes shall be secured by commodity exchange boards guaranteeing minimal prices for certain crops and animal products. A nationwide programme for storage and other facilities to reduce spoilage and waste will be undertaken.
Agricultural hubs will be created throughout the nation to increase production and engage in value-added processing. The livestock sector will be introduced to best modern practices and steps taken to minimize the perennial conflict over land and water resources in this sector.
Through these actions, food shall be made more abundant yet less costly. Farmers shall earn more while the average Nigerian pays less.
INFRASTRUCTURE
We shall continue the efforts of the Buhari administration on infrastructure. Progress toward national networks of roads, rail and ports shall get priority attention.
FUEL SUBSIDY
We commend the decision of the outgoing administration in phasing out the petrol subsidy regime which has increasingly favoured the rich more than the poor. Subsidy can no longer justify its ever-increasing costs in the wake of drying resources. We shall instead re-channel the funds into better investment in public infrastructure, education, health care and jobs that will materially improve the lives of millions.
MONETARY POLICY
Monetary policy needs thorough housecleaning. The Central Bank must work towards a unified exchange rate. This will direct funds away from arbitrage into meaningful investment in the plant, equipment and jobs that power the real economy.
Interest rates need to be reduced to increase investment and consumer purchasing in ways that sustain the economy at a higher level.
Whatever merits it had in concept, the currency swap was too harshly applied by the CBN given the number of unbanked Nigerians. The policy shall be reviewed. In the meantime, my administration will treat both currencies as legal tender.
FOREIGN POLICY
Given the world in which we reside, please permit a few comments regarding foreign policy.
The crisis in Sudan and the turn from democracy by several nations in our immediate neighbourhood are of pressing concern.
As such, my primary foreign policy objective must be the peace and stability of the West African subregion and the African continent. We shall work with ECOWAS, the AU and willing partners in the international community to end extant conflicts and to resolve new ones.
As we contain threats to peace, we shall also retool our foreign policy to more actively lead the regional and continental quest for collective prosperity.
Conclusion
This is the proudest day of my life. But this day does not belong to me. It belongs to you, the people of Nigeria.
On this day, Nigeria affirms its rightful place among the world’s great democracies. There, Nigeria shall reside forever.
The course of our past and the promise of the future have brought us to this exceptional moment.
In this spirit, I ask you to join me in making Nigeria a more perfect nation and democracy such that the Nigerian ideal becomes and forever remains the Nigerian reality.
With full confidence in our ability, I declare that these things are within our proximate reach because my name is Bola Ahmed Tinubu, and I am the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
May God bless you and May He bless our beloved land.
submitted by iamdeletosh to Nigeria [link] [comments]
I stand before you honoured to assume the sacred mandate you have given me. My love for this nation is abiding. My confidence in its people, unwavering. And my faith in God Almighty, absolute. I know that His hand shall provide the needed moral strength and clarity of purpose in those instances when we seem to have reached the limits of our human capacity.
This day is bold and majestic yet bright and full of spirit, as is our precious nation.
As a nation, we have long ago decided to march beyond the dimness of night into the open day of renewed national hope.
The question we now ask ourselves is whether to remain faithful to the work inherent in building a better society or retreat into the shadows of our unmet potential.
For me, there is but one answer. We are too great a nation and too grounded as a people to rob ourselves of our finest destiny.
This nation’s journey has been shaped by the prayers of millions, and the collective sacrifices of us all.
We have endured hardships that would have made other societies crumble.
Yet, we have shouldered the heavy burden to arrive at this SUBLIME moment where the prospect of a better future merges with our improved capacity to create that future.
To the surprise of many but not to ourselves, we have more firmly established this land as a democracy in both word and deed.
The peaceful transition from one government to another is now our political tradition. This handover symbolizes our trust in God, our enduring faith in representative governance and our belief in our ability to reshape this nation into the society it was always meant to be.
Here, permit me to say a few words to my predecessor, President Muhammadu Buhari. Mr President, you have been an honest, patriotic leader who has done his best for the nation you love. On a more personal note, you are a worthy partner and friend. May History be kind to you.
For many years, Nigeria’s critics have trafficked the rumour that our nation will break apart, even perish.
Yet here we are. We have stumbled at times, but our resilience and diversity have kept us going.
Our burdens may make us bend at times, but they shall never break us.
Instead, we stand forth as Africa’s most populous nation and as the best hope and strongest champion of the Black Race.
As citizens, we declare as one unified people devoted to one unified national cause, that as long as this world exists, NIGERIA SHALL EXIST.
Today, Fate and Destiny join together to place the torch of human progress in our very hands. We dare not let it slip.
We lift high this torch so that it might shine on every household and in every heart that calls itself Nigerian. We hold this beam aloft because it lights our path with compassion, brotherhood, and peace. May this great light never EXTINGUISH.
Our administration shall govern on your behalf but never rule over you. We shall consult and dialogue but never dictate. We shall reach out to all but never put down a single person for holding views contrary to our own.
We are here to further mend and heal this nation, not tear and injure it.
In this vein, may I offer a few comments regarding the election that brought us to this juncture. It was a hard fought contest. And it was also fairly won. Since the advent of the Fourth Republic, Nigeria has not held an election of better quality.
The outcome reflected the will of the people. However, my victory does not render me any more Nigerian than my opponents. Nor does it render them any less patriotic.
They shall forever be my fellow compatriots. And I will treat them as such. They represent important constituencies and concerns that wisdom dare not ignore.
They have taken their concerns to court. Seeking legal redress is their right and I fully defend their exercise of this right. This is the essence of the rule of law.
Over six decades ago, our founding fathers gave bravely of themselves to place Nigeria on the map as an independent nation.
We must never allow the labor of those who came before us to wither in vain but to blossom and bring forth a better reality.
Let us take the next great step in the journey they began and believed in.
Today, let us recommit our very selves to placing Nigeria in our hearts as the indispensable home for each and every one of us regardless of creed, ethnicity, or place of birth.
My supporters, I thank you. To those who voted otherwise, I extend my hand across the political divide. I ask you to grasp it in national affinity and brotherhood. For me, political coloration has faded away. All I see are Nigerians.
May we uphold these fitting and excellent notions as the new Nigerian ideal.
My fellow compatriots,
The Nigerian ideal which I speak of is more than just an improvement in economic and other statistics. These things are important; but they can never convey the fullness of our story.
Our mission is to improve our way of life in a manner that nurtures our humanity, encourages compassion toward one another, and duly rewards our collective effort to resolve the social ills that seek to divide us.
Our constitution and laws give us a nation on paper. We must work harder at bringing these noble documents to life by strengthening the bonds of economic collaboration, social cohesion, and cultural understanding. Let us develop a shared sense of fairness and equity.
The South must not only seek good for itself but must understand that its interests are served when good comes to the North. The North must see the South likewise.
Whether from the winding creeks of the Niger Delta, the vastness of the northern savannah, the boardrooms of Lagos, the bustling capital of Abuja, or the busy markets of Onitsha, you are all my people. As your president, I shall serve with prejudice toward none but compassion and amity towards all.
In the coming days and weeks, my team will publicly detail key aspects of our programme. Today, permit me to outline in broad terms a few initiatives that define our concept of progressive good governance in furtherance of the Nigerian ideal:
The principles that will guide our administration are simple:
Nigeria will be impartially governed according to the constitution and the rule of law. We shall defend the nation from terror and all forms of criminality that threaten the peace and stability of our country and our subregion. We shall remodel our economy to bring about growth and development through job creation, food security and an end of extreme poverty. In our administration, Women and youth will feature prominently. Our government will continue to take proactive steps such as championing a credit culture to discourage corruption while strengthening the effectiveness and efficiency of the various anti-corruption agencies.SECURITY
Security shall be the top priority of our administration because neither prosperity nor justice can prevail amidst insecurity and violence.
To effectively tackle this menace, we shall reform both our security DOCTRINE and its ARCHITECTURE.
We shall invest more in our security personnel, and this means more than an increase in number. We shall provide, better training, equipment, pay and firepower.
THE ECONOMY
On the economy, we target a higher GDP growth and to significantly reduce unemployment.
We intend to accomplish this by taking the following steps:
First, budgetary reform stimulating the economy without engendering inflation will be instituted.
Second, industrial policy will utilize the full range of fiscal measures to promote domestic manufacturing and lessen import dependency.
Third, electricity will become more accessible and affordable to businesses and homes alike. Power generation should nearly double and transmission and distribution networks improved. We will encourage states to develop local sources as well.
I have a message for our investors, local and foreign: our government shall review all their complaints about multiple taxation and various anti-investment inhibitions.
We shall ensure that investors and foreign businesses repatriate their hard earned dividends and profits home.
JOBS
My administration must create meaningful opportunities for our youth. We shall honour our campaign commitment of one million new jobs in the digital economy.
Our government also shall work with the National Assembly to fashion an omnibus Jobs and Prosperity bill. This bill will give our administration the policy space to embark on labour-intensive infrastructural improvements, encourage light industry and provide improved social services for the poor, elderly and vulnerable.
Agriculture
Rural incomes shall be secured by commodity exchange boards guaranteeing minimal prices for certain crops and animal products. A nationwide programme for storage and other facilities to reduce spoilage and waste will be undertaken.
Agricultural hubs will be created throughout the nation to increase production and engage in value-added processing. The livestock sector will be introduced to best modern practices and steps taken to minimize the perennial conflict over land and water resources in this sector.
Through these actions, food shall be made more abundant yet less costly. Farmers shall earn more while the average Nigerian pays less.
INFRASTRUCTURE
We shall continue the efforts of the Buhari administration on infrastructure. Progress toward national networks of roads, rail and ports shall get priority attention.
FUEL SUBSIDY
We commend the decision of the outgoing administration in phasing out the petrol subsidy regime which has increasingly favoured the rich more than the poor. Subsidy can no longer justify its ever-increasing costs in the wake of drying resources. We shall instead re-channel the funds into better investment in public infrastructure, education, health care and jobs that will materially improve the lives of millions.
MONETARY POLICY
Monetary policy needs thorough housecleaning. The Central Bank must work towards a unified exchange rate. This will direct funds away from arbitrage into meaningful investment in the plant, equipment and jobs that power the real economy.
Interest rates need to be reduced to increase investment and consumer purchasing in ways that sustain the economy at a higher level.
Whatever merits it had in concept, the currency swap was too harshly applied by the CBN given the number of unbanked Nigerians. The policy shall be reviewed. In the meantime, my administration will treat both currencies as legal tender.
FOREIGN POLICY
Given the world in which we reside, please permit a few comments regarding foreign policy.
The crisis in Sudan and the turn from democracy by several nations in our immediate neighbourhood are of pressing concern.
As such, my primary foreign policy objective must be the peace and stability of the West African subregion and the African continent. We shall work with ECOWAS, the AU and willing partners in the international community to end extant conflicts and to resolve new ones.
As we contain threats to peace, we shall also retool our foreign policy to more actively lead the regional and continental quest for collective prosperity.
Conclusion
This is the proudest day of my life. But this day does not belong to me. It belongs to you, the people of Nigeria.
On this day, Nigeria affirms its rightful place among the world’s great democracies. There, Nigeria shall reside forever.
The course of our past and the promise of the future have brought us to this exceptional moment.
In this spirit, I ask you to join me in making Nigeria a more perfect nation and democracy such that the Nigerian ideal becomes and forever remains the Nigerian reality.
With full confidence in our ability, I declare that these things are within our proximate reach because my name is Bola Ahmed Tinubu, and I am the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
May God bless you and May He bless our beloved land.
2023.05.30 00:23 AlphaBladeYiII I still love Star Wars and even though I don't look forward to the future, I find enjoyment in the past.
Recently, I did a mega Star Wars marathon that went OT (Imperfect, but great), Rogue One (kinda slow and don't really care for the characters but the final act is excellent), PT (Love the story and characters, but execution could've been better. TPM is underrated though), Clone Wars microseries (fun but, no, it's not better than TCW) and Solo (fun movie. Underrated). Currently rewatching TCW and while the first season is rough on rewatch, it has some solid eps like the Domino squad stuff. On the reading front, I've been rereading Darth Vader (2015) and Star Wars (2015) comics by Jason Aaron and Kieron Gillen. Been also playing Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy.
Guess what? I'm legitimately having a blast. Enjoyed all of this a lot to varying degrees. And I still have so much from the old EU that I haven't experienced yet. I still love the Lucas saga, the animated stuff (great to decent most of the time) and a lot of comics and novels from both EUs (somewhat controversial, I know).
I don't have hope for any of the upcoming shows or movies after Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mando S3 and Book of Boba Fett. I've also lost intereat in the New EU outside maybe Star Wars (2020) comics. But I still love Star Wars. I can still enjoy it.
submitted by AlphaBladeYiII to CharacterRant [link] [comments]
Guess what? I'm legitimately having a blast. Enjoyed all of this a lot to varying degrees. And I still have so much from the old EU that I haven't experienced yet. I still love the Lucas saga, the animated stuff (great to decent most of the time) and a lot of comics and novels from both EUs (somewhat controversial, I know).
I don't have hope for any of the upcoming shows or movies after Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mando S3 and Book of Boba Fett. I've also lost intereat in the New EU outside maybe Star Wars (2020) comics. But I still love Star Wars. I can still enjoy it.
2023.05.30 00:22 G00DKlDMAADCITY Don't go looking for things you don't want to find, and don't ask questions you don't really want the true answer to. Oh and always... ALWAYS trust your gut.
This might end up being fairly long and if so I apologize in advance but I hope this ends up being as cathartic as I’m hoping.
Let’s start at the beginning. I wasn’t a good husband... hell I probably wasn't even a good person. I was selfish, inattentive to her needs, hid a painkiller addiction for many years and a copious amount of other issues. I wasn’t perfect though neither was she. We were happy though and together for a decade. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m the most non-jealous person in the world. I don’t care what you do with your friends, where you do it, and when as long as your honest. For example let’s say one of her friends invited her to go out of town or to do something for a weekend, it was like “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go out of town with insert name here” and vice versa for me “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go hunting with insert name here”. All that being said, again, not jealous AT ALL, but after the divorce and subsequent relationship I think my trust with SO coworkers is irreparably damaged.
His name was Joe, I heard through some of her other coworker friends he had a crush on my wife. Whatever, she got cheated on with her first love and couldn’t even watch movies or shows where someone cheats it would make her so angry. So I never thought twice about her going out with her coworkers. Now again, let me say I was not a good husband towards the end, and it took a long time and a lot of hurt and anger had to be let go to where I finally realized that I don’t fault her for finding solace in the arms of another, because she was a damn good wife, a damn good mother, and an even better husband. And she deserved better. I relapsed after an incredibly awful start to 2018. I went and stayed at my moms and had to go over to the house to get some things. Her and my daughter were gone somewhere but her Apple Watch was there. My gut told me what I already knew, and what I knew was that I shouldn't look through it knowing what I would find. What did I find? That she was filing for divorce the next week and plenty of messages to Joe. I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together. Can you guess what happened? I had a decent amount of money saved up so I took a sabbatical from work that ended extending to almost two years
December 2018, Christmas morning. I had a plan, it was foolproof. I was going to facetime my daughter in the morning to tell her how much I loved her and missed her and had a very merry Christmas... and then I was going to go in my backyard and blow my brains out. So thats what I did. I called her, talked to her as best you can to a three year old in the midst of a post present high with her cousins there too. Then I walked out in my backyard with my favorite rifle and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. For six hours. I cried, I wept... I wept for me, for my kid who was going to grow up without her daddy. I wept for my ex-wife who was going to have to explain to my daughter why she wouldn't be able to see her daddy again. I wept for my family and the pain I was about to cause them I begged and screamed to God. That if they were real and I was meant for things in this life that they would show me a fucking sign. Show me ANYTHING that would show me whether this drastic choice would be the right one... or the wrong. For six hours in the freezing cold. Never did get an answer that I could recognize as one. But the thought of my kid calling the person my wife had AT LEAST an emotional affair with, "Dad" made me sick... and made me want to live.
I decided to check into rehab, not for drugs, but so I didn't kill myself. Ive always kind of been a natural leader. I don't know why or what it is about me but people tend to flock towards me and have really either one or two reactions. They either really like me, or they really fucking hate me. Here though everyone really liked me and I was put in charge of running the meetings held there and trying to keep morale of the folks there. And it was a great fucking time. It was a month vacation in a really nice area of the state, I didn't have a phone, only my guitar and the resolve to work through my emotions in a safe place the best way I know how, by writing songs about it. Which is exactly what I did both in the classes, AA Meetings, out of class, didn't matter I was just knocking out song after song. I met a kid in there with a killer voice and a guy around my age who actually was the lead singesongwriter for a local band I was a fan of so it ended up being a really enjoyable experience.. The kid though... he got murdered last year from a drug deal gone wrong. Shot in a car and left to die in the parking lot. I think about him almost every day.
What did I learn? I learned that I shouldn't go looking for things I don't want to find, or ask questions that I really want the true answer to. Or so I thought.
I met K in December 2020 on Hinge. I wasn't sure I was really over my ex wife but then when we met it was love at first sight. And for a guy that didn't think he was ever going to love anyone again it was a major deal. She felt the same it seemed, though I now realize it was probably more of a trauma bond/rebound type situation. Things went really well for the honeymoon phase, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. She was a cheer coach/art teacher, it was new, it was exciting, the sex was great.. she was great... She had some pretty serious insecurities and abandonment issues though. Her mom dropped her off with what ended up being her adoptive family only to come back a few years later and take her away for a few months, then bring her back and drop her off again. She self sabotages and destroys anything good in her life for fear or being hurt and left by someone again. And she only dated guys that controlled her, treated her like shit, stole from her, etc etc. She took xanax and ambien which when it would kick in at first it seemed she was still cognizant. One night when I was staying over there she had taken it and asked me to look something up in her phone. As soon as I open it I see a text to a coach at the school she taught at that was just really inappropriate shit that made me feel uncomfortable, especially since he was married. I asked her about it when she off work the next day and she just downplayed it as they are wont to do. I let it go but its something I thought of often, especially after it ended.
We moved in together in August of 21. I helped her get a job at a school over on my side of town so we got a really nice apartment close to her work and not far from mine. Thats when things started to change. I'll never forget we were laying in bed on a Friday afternoon, I was about to go pick up my kid. I rolled over towards her side and propped myself up and looked at her for a second and thought how lucky am I, and so thats what I said out loud to her. Its like she recoiled like she got bit by a snake, bolted out of bed and said I was being clingy and essentially ran out the door where she ended up back on the other side of town and had dinner with a gay guy friend. I really didn't know what to do or how to take it so when I picked my kid up I took her over to my moms house and we stayed there until K called and asked me to come home so we could talk. I left my kid with my mom and went over there and she apologized and reiterated how she feels in relationships, the fear of being left, how independent she had to be because of her upbringing and a few other things.
Not long after that she forwarded me an email, I'm not even sure what she meant to send me if she even meant it to send to me because I never got around to asking. It was an email thread with the coach where she said "guess what?", "What? You're gonna have my baby?" "No I got Covid!". I confronted her about it, told her how it made me feel, and while she never really responded to it in a way that made me worry I still strongly disliked it and let her know that. Not long after that as we were laying in bed I saw she was texting someone exceptionally long paragraphs, you know the type, the type when you're first talking to someone and are explaining things about yourself to them? I'll spare the long part but come to find out shes found a new coach to have what appears to be an emotional affair with. Though come to find out this one ended up being physical. She broke up with me in January 22. Told me while I showed her love in a way she didn't know was possible, and treated her in a way nobody had ever treated her before that I was too good for her and deserved better. I tried to change her mind, lord knows I tried, I was madly in love. My kid was in love with her. We talked about a future I never thought possible after my divorce.
I moved out of the apartment and back to my moms until I could find a place. We talked occasionally and I spent so much time reading this sub and others. Posts about how to get her back, how to make her miss me, what to do and what not to do. When my work sabbatical ended I got my old job back. Its a great job, ridiculously easy and the amount of work I actually do compared to my compensation should be illegal. She lost her cheer stipend when we moved back to my side of town since she didn't coach and since we got the apt together I knew what her funds looked like. We got that place because we could afford it together, alone I knew she was going to struggle. And I still wanted her back... what better way to show her that and try to manifest it by just being there for her when she needed me? Little did I know that would be the only time she asked me anything. Only when she needed help, or was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to talk her off the ledge and tell her everything was going to be okay. It was never her asking how I was doing, or my kid, or my dog, or what was going on in my life. Everyone told me what my gut had already told me but I lied to myself over and over. Not long after all this happened I found out she had been seeing the new coach at the new school though she still won't admit it even up to... checks notes today.
March 23 I get my first really big commission check I gave her 10k and we paid off her credit card, some other debt she had, some missed car payments and other bill help. Not long after that she tells me shes going to a cabin nearby where shes from with her sisters and nieces/nephews and asks me to watch her dog which I miss just as much as her so I do it. Mind you previous to this we went through a rough spot and she had blocked me on IG and never unblocked me. One of my cousins still followed her though, she hits me on snapchat saying "oh wow K looks amazing" I say "Oh yeah, does the cabin look nice?" She said "Cabin? Looks like shes at the beach" and sends me a screenshot of her IG post. I do my best FBI investigation and zoom in on her glasses, it appears to be a guy taking the picture based on the reflection from the frames and I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, come to find out, we'll call him JMJ also happens to be in Florida at the same time. So I call her out and tell her she needs to find someone to come get her dog and I'm done with her and her lies. She tells me "Oh my mom and dad are traveling across the country in their RV (WHICH THEY WERE) and so when you sent me that extra money after we paid the bills my sister and I decided to fly to Florida to spend some time with them on Spring Break"
She then breaks down and tells me how shes ruined the relationship with the last genuine person in her life and that when she gets back she'll get her dog and I'll never hear from her again. Master manipulator and while shes an amazing liar to someone who wants with every fiber of his being to believe him, is awful at hiding her lies. What do I do? Well I'm a fucking idiot so you can already imagine what I did. I begged her for once to just be honest with me. For once in our entire two years going back and forth that if she ever did truly love me or respect me for things I did for her that she would be honest. She told shes not dating anyone and doesn't have a boyfriend and that nothing has changed. I told her that even if she was seeing someone and told me about it I would help her out one last time only because I had committed to it. I told myself I was doing it for altruistic reasons, that because of all her issues that if I can do for her what I said I would do for her and that would help her out in her future relationships to show her that not everybody is it out to just fuck her and leave her, that when some people tell you they'll do something for you they mean it and she stops self sabotaging then I did my part.
A couple weeks ago was her 30th birthday. I see if she wants to grab dinner but she says one of her girl teacher friends is taking her to dinner in the galleria area. Check the guys IG story via an anonymous viewer and guess who happens to be at a restaurant in the galleria area? I don't even call her out because at this point Im making a plan. I get another rather large check in July and so we had previously talked about paying off the rest of her debt. She tells me shes going to her parents house for MDW and then that shes going out of town today with one of her old friends to New Orleans. This is when I realize just whats about to happen. Im about to have the answer to the question I thought I was dying to know the answer to. I told myself if he posts an IG story today where hes traveling, there is 0% chance that shes not with him. The first thing I see when I open IG is he posted a story... in Cancun. Then the next picture I see... her phone on the table next to him. Bingo. Send her an email saying "Hey I hope you have fun in Cancun!" and that was it. Almost immediately she texts me asking how I know and figured it out and I just saw red. I immediately opened up IG and sent him a message with texts, receipts, bank transfers, her telling me that she still loves me and we can go take a trip this summer, how many times shes asked me for money and help and the lies shes told me about him. She asks me to stop messaging him and I say that shes forever lost the option to ask ANYTHING of me but realize what Im doing is not the right thing and is hella immature so I send her another email saying I'm sorry and out of respect for her I wont say anything else to him.
Then he sends me a message on IG asking to elaborate more and then told me she told him I owed her a lot of money... I asked how much and for what and he said $2k for bills when we first got together. Thats when I sent him an entire list of all bank transactions through our bank and Apple Pay. Just digital alone, $18.647.00 over the last six months plus another $12,460.00 in cash over the last eight months. Then I realized just how little better this made me feel. In fact I thought I would feel triumphant, and ready to move on and finally be over her and start to heal. Knowing full damn and well keeping her around and helping her was keeping me from being able to heal and move on. I sent her another message telling her I was taking the last part of her birthday gift to her apartment and leaving it in the ottoman outside her door and that because I had already accounted for and mentally prepared for giving her money in July that I still would then I blocked and removed her from IG and anything else that would open up an avenue for contact.
Here we are. Starting NC again... a year and a half after we broke up all because I thought I needed the answers to what I didn't want to find out or know. And that yet again, my gut has yet to lie to me in regards to relationships. What is wrong with me? Why even after all of this do I still want her in my life and want her back? If she called me tomorrow needing help I'd probably still do it. How do I fix myself? I've gotten an entire new wardrobe, an entire home gym so I quit blaming my depression for why I didn't go to the gym, and have tried really hard to focus on myself yet I know deep down everything I'm doing, I'm still doing for hopes of her. I lied to myself and clouded my own gut and mind to listen to my heart when I knew what I already knew yet still felt the need to confirm it.
Its not worth it. IT. IS.NOT. WORTH. IT. Keep that door closed if you don't want to know whats on the other side. Don't open that book if you don't want to see whats written on that last page. If your gut is telling you something, its probably right. Listen to it. When your friends and family are telling you the same thing your gut is telling you, listen to them. Even if its killing you, even if its the last thing you want to do, even if its going to break your heart again and reopen any wounds for you to bleed out again it has to be done. Don't be like me. Don't prolong your suffering for a year and a half for hope that you know isn't going to shake out in your way regardless of what the other person might be telling you.
submitted by G00DKlDMAADCITY to BreakUps [link] [comments]
Let’s start at the beginning. I wasn’t a good husband... hell I probably wasn't even a good person. I was selfish, inattentive to her needs, hid a painkiller addiction for many years and a copious amount of other issues. I wasn’t perfect though neither was she. We were happy though and together for a decade. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m the most non-jealous person in the world. I don’t care what you do with your friends, where you do it, and when as long as your honest. For example let’s say one of her friends invited her to go out of town or to do something for a weekend, it was like “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go out of town with insert name here” and vice versa for me “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go hunting with insert name here”. All that being said, again, not jealous AT ALL, but after the divorce and subsequent relationship I think my trust with SO coworkers is irreparably damaged.
His name was Joe, I heard through some of her other coworker friends he had a crush on my wife. Whatever, she got cheated on with her first love and couldn’t even watch movies or shows where someone cheats it would make her so angry. So I never thought twice about her going out with her coworkers. Now again, let me say I was not a good husband towards the end, and it took a long time and a lot of hurt and anger had to be let go to where I finally realized that I don’t fault her for finding solace in the arms of another, because she was a damn good wife, a damn good mother, and an even better husband. And she deserved better. I relapsed after an incredibly awful start to 2018. I went and stayed at my moms and had to go over to the house to get some things. Her and my daughter were gone somewhere but her Apple Watch was there. My gut told me what I already knew, and what I knew was that I shouldn't look through it knowing what I would find. What did I find? That she was filing for divorce the next week and plenty of messages to Joe. I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together. Can you guess what happened? I had a decent amount of money saved up so I took a sabbatical from work that ended extending to almost two years
December 2018, Christmas morning. I had a plan, it was foolproof. I was going to facetime my daughter in the morning to tell her how much I loved her and missed her and had a very merry Christmas... and then I was going to go in my backyard and blow my brains out. So thats what I did. I called her, talked to her as best you can to a three year old in the midst of a post present high with her cousins there too. Then I walked out in my backyard with my favorite rifle and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. For six hours. I cried, I wept... I wept for me, for my kid who was going to grow up without her daddy. I wept for my ex-wife who was going to have to explain to my daughter why she wouldn't be able to see her daddy again. I wept for my family and the pain I was about to cause them I begged and screamed to God. That if they were real and I was meant for things in this life that they would show me a fucking sign. Show me ANYTHING that would show me whether this drastic choice would be the right one... or the wrong. For six hours in the freezing cold. Never did get an answer that I could recognize as one. But the thought of my kid calling the person my wife had AT LEAST an emotional affair with, "Dad" made me sick... and made me want to live.
I decided to check into rehab, not for drugs, but so I didn't kill myself. Ive always kind of been a natural leader. I don't know why or what it is about me but people tend to flock towards me and have really either one or two reactions. They either really like me, or they really fucking hate me. Here though everyone really liked me and I was put in charge of running the meetings held there and trying to keep morale of the folks there. And it was a great fucking time. It was a month vacation in a really nice area of the state, I didn't have a phone, only my guitar and the resolve to work through my emotions in a safe place the best way I know how, by writing songs about it. Which is exactly what I did both in the classes, AA Meetings, out of class, didn't matter I was just knocking out song after song. I met a kid in there with a killer voice and a guy around my age who actually was the lead singesongwriter for a local band I was a fan of so it ended up being a really enjoyable experience.. The kid though... he got murdered last year from a drug deal gone wrong. Shot in a car and left to die in the parking lot. I think about him almost every day.
What did I learn? I learned that I shouldn't go looking for things I don't want to find, or ask questions that I really want the true answer to. Or so I thought.
I met K in December 2020 on Hinge. I wasn't sure I was really over my ex wife but then when we met it was love at first sight. And for a guy that didn't think he was ever going to love anyone again it was a major deal. She felt the same it seemed, though I now realize it was probably more of a trauma bond/rebound type situation. Things went really well for the honeymoon phase, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. She was a cheer coach/art teacher, it was new, it was exciting, the sex was great.. she was great... She had some pretty serious insecurities and abandonment issues though. Her mom dropped her off with what ended up being her adoptive family only to come back a few years later and take her away for a few months, then bring her back and drop her off again. She self sabotages and destroys anything good in her life for fear or being hurt and left by someone again. And she only dated guys that controlled her, treated her like shit, stole from her, etc etc. She took xanax and ambien which when it would kick in at first it seemed she was still cognizant. One night when I was staying over there she had taken it and asked me to look something up in her phone. As soon as I open it I see a text to a coach at the school she taught at that was just really inappropriate shit that made me feel uncomfortable, especially since he was married. I asked her about it when she off work the next day and she just downplayed it as they are wont to do. I let it go but its something I thought of often, especially after it ended.
We moved in together in August of 21. I helped her get a job at a school over on my side of town so we got a really nice apartment close to her work and not far from mine. Thats when things started to change. I'll never forget we were laying in bed on a Friday afternoon, I was about to go pick up my kid. I rolled over towards her side and propped myself up and looked at her for a second and thought how lucky am I, and so thats what I said out loud to her. Its like she recoiled like she got bit by a snake, bolted out of bed and said I was being clingy and essentially ran out the door where she ended up back on the other side of town and had dinner with a gay guy friend. I really didn't know what to do or how to take it so when I picked my kid up I took her over to my moms house and we stayed there until K called and asked me to come home so we could talk. I left my kid with my mom and went over there and she apologized and reiterated how she feels in relationships, the fear of being left, how independent she had to be because of her upbringing and a few other things.
Not long after that she forwarded me an email, I'm not even sure what she meant to send me if she even meant it to send to me because I never got around to asking. It was an email thread with the coach where she said "guess what?", "What? You're gonna have my baby?" "No I got Covid!". I confronted her about it, told her how it made me feel, and while she never really responded to it in a way that made me worry I still strongly disliked it and let her know that. Not long after that as we were laying in bed I saw she was texting someone exceptionally long paragraphs, you know the type, the type when you're first talking to someone and are explaining things about yourself to them? I'll spare the long part but come to find out shes found a new coach to have what appears to be an emotional affair with. Though come to find out this one ended up being physical. She broke up with me in January 22. Told me while I showed her love in a way she didn't know was possible, and treated her in a way nobody had ever treated her before that I was too good for her and deserved better. I tried to change her mind, lord knows I tried, I was madly in love. My kid was in love with her. We talked about a future I never thought possible after my divorce.
I moved out of the apartment and back to my moms until I could find a place. We talked occasionally and I spent so much time reading this sub and others. Posts about how to get her back, how to make her miss me, what to do and what not to do. When my work sabbatical ended I got my old job back. Its a great job, ridiculously easy and the amount of work I actually do compared to my compensation should be illegal. She lost her cheer stipend when we moved back to my side of town since she didn't coach and since we got the apt together I knew what her funds looked like. We got that place because we could afford it together, alone I knew she was going to struggle. And I still wanted her back... what better way to show her that and try to manifest it by just being there for her when she needed me? Little did I know that would be the only time she asked me anything. Only when she needed help, or was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to talk her off the ledge and tell her everything was going to be okay. It was never her asking how I was doing, or my kid, or my dog, or what was going on in my life. Everyone told me what my gut had already told me but I lied to myself over and over. Not long after all this happened I found out she had been seeing the new coach at the new school though she still won't admit it even up to... checks notes today.
March 23 I get my first really big commission check I gave her 10k and we paid off her credit card, some other debt she had, some missed car payments and other bill help. Not long after that she tells me shes going to a cabin nearby where shes from with her sisters and nieces/nephews and asks me to watch her dog which I miss just as much as her so I do it. Mind you previous to this we went through a rough spot and she had blocked me on IG and never unblocked me. One of my cousins still followed her though, she hits me on snapchat saying "oh wow K looks amazing" I say "Oh yeah, does the cabin look nice?" She said "Cabin? Looks like shes at the beach" and sends me a screenshot of her IG post. I do my best FBI investigation and zoom in on her glasses, it appears to be a guy taking the picture based on the reflection from the frames and I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, come to find out, we'll call him JMJ also happens to be in Florida at the same time. So I call her out and tell her she needs to find someone to come get her dog and I'm done with her and her lies. She tells me "Oh my mom and dad are traveling across the country in their RV (WHICH THEY WERE) and so when you sent me that extra money after we paid the bills my sister and I decided to fly to Florida to spend some time with them on Spring Break"
She then breaks down and tells me how shes ruined the relationship with the last genuine person in her life and that when she gets back she'll get her dog and I'll never hear from her again. Master manipulator and while shes an amazing liar to someone who wants with every fiber of his being to believe him, is awful at hiding her lies. What do I do? Well I'm a fucking idiot so you can already imagine what I did. I begged her for once to just be honest with me. For once in our entire two years going back and forth that if she ever did truly love me or respect me for things I did for her that she would be honest. She told shes not dating anyone and doesn't have a boyfriend and that nothing has changed. I told her that even if she was seeing someone and told me about it I would help her out one last time only because I had committed to it. I told myself I was doing it for altruistic reasons, that because of all her issues that if I can do for her what I said I would do for her and that would help her out in her future relationships to show her that not everybody is it out to just fuck her and leave her, that when some people tell you they'll do something for you they mean it and she stops self sabotaging then I did my part.
A couple weeks ago was her 30th birthday. I see if she wants to grab dinner but she says one of her girl teacher friends is taking her to dinner in the galleria area. Check the guys IG story via an anonymous viewer and guess who happens to be at a restaurant in the galleria area? I don't even call her out because at this point Im making a plan. I get another rather large check in July and so we had previously talked about paying off the rest of her debt. She tells me shes going to her parents house for MDW and then that shes going out of town today with one of her old friends to New Orleans. This is when I realize just whats about to happen. Im about to have the answer to the question I thought I was dying to know the answer to. I told myself if he posts an IG story today where hes traveling, there is 0% chance that shes not with him. The first thing I see when I open IG is he posted a story... in Cancun. Then the next picture I see... her phone on the table next to him. Bingo. Send her an email saying "Hey I hope you have fun in Cancun!" and that was it. Almost immediately she texts me asking how I know and figured it out and I just saw red. I immediately opened up IG and sent him a message with texts, receipts, bank transfers, her telling me that she still loves me and we can go take a trip this summer, how many times shes asked me for money and help and the lies shes told me about him. She asks me to stop messaging him and I say that shes forever lost the option to ask ANYTHING of me but realize what Im doing is not the right thing and is hella immature so I send her another email saying I'm sorry and out of respect for her I wont say anything else to him.
Then he sends me a message on IG asking to elaborate more and then told me she told him I owed her a lot of money... I asked how much and for what and he said $2k for bills when we first got together. Thats when I sent him an entire list of all bank transactions through our bank and Apple Pay. Just digital alone, $18.647.00 over the last six months plus another $12,460.00 in cash over the last eight months. Then I realized just how little better this made me feel. In fact I thought I would feel triumphant, and ready to move on and finally be over her and start to heal. Knowing full damn and well keeping her around and helping her was keeping me from being able to heal and move on. I sent her another message telling her I was taking the last part of her birthday gift to her apartment and leaving it in the ottoman outside her door and that because I had already accounted for and mentally prepared for giving her money in July that I still would then I blocked and removed her from IG and anything else that would open up an avenue for contact.
Here we are. Starting NC again... a year and a half after we broke up all because I thought I needed the answers to what I didn't want to find out or know. And that yet again, my gut has yet to lie to me in regards to relationships. What is wrong with me? Why even after all of this do I still want her in my life and want her back? If she called me tomorrow needing help I'd probably still do it. How do I fix myself? I've gotten an entire new wardrobe, an entire home gym so I quit blaming my depression for why I didn't go to the gym, and have tried really hard to focus on myself yet I know deep down everything I'm doing, I'm still doing for hopes of her. I lied to myself and clouded my own gut and mind to listen to my heart when I knew what I already knew yet still felt the need to confirm it.
Its not worth it. IT. IS.NOT. WORTH. IT. Keep that door closed if you don't want to know whats on the other side. Don't open that book if you don't want to see whats written on that last page. If your gut is telling you something, its probably right. Listen to it. When your friends and family are telling you the same thing your gut is telling you, listen to them. Even if its killing you, even if its the last thing you want to do, even if its going to break your heart again and reopen any wounds for you to bleed out again it has to be done. Don't be like me. Don't prolong your suffering for a year and a half for hope that you know isn't going to shake out in your way regardless of what the other person might be telling you.
2023.05.30 00:22 Maru280 Any advices about what to do next?
I chose pharmacy while I wanted to do astronomy but we didn’t have that field in the city at that moment, I did pharmacy because I liked chemistry and it was my second choice then, I did pharmacy because I wanted money and status and thought it’ll lead me to that,
Worked so hard then and I didn’t have a life because I studied most of the time and didn’t enjoy even summer vacations or travelled, I did 6 years and I was supposed to do 5 years, I tried to study abroad after applying to a local university but it didn’t work out,
Turns out there’s no money or status unless you become a rep (which is the highest pay in pharmacy field so far) who begs doctors to prescribe your company’s medication, work field is shit and I didn’t get accepted anywhere I wanted but I kept searching and applying for half a year till I landed a job with insurance somehow,
A year after in the new job, still not much money or status instead I tried changing the company to renew my pharmacy license and ended up in a shitty toxic environment and boring job felt like a prison in that company which I did only 2 months and quit during the probation period.(renewed my license though which later on will reveal it meant nothing)
I decided to change my field as I had passion for fitness, I took 2 courses in the fitness field and started my own online personal training business where the main client base was family and close friends I didn’t get many clients as it seems my marketing didn’t go well or probably my Instagram page was so boring and there wasn’t much engagement.
After around a year from quitting last job, I got a job in a gym with low salary, still no money or status and all my savings vanished.
It was mix of hard times, new experiences and a little spice of hurt because of the amount of peopling there, I hated daily basis human interactions.
I again had to quit because of a lot of reasons, mainly because my mother gotten so sick with her cancer.
3 months later still no job and I ran out of most of my savings, I got one interview by coincidence through my old manager which wasn't that bad but they told me I'm not fit for the position and might give me another position in the same place (insurance company) oh and by the way my license expired.
Now I'm thinking about leaving the whole medical and insurance field and maybe try yoga instead of usual fitness instructor classes because it’s too much for a small body lol
That was in the span of around 3 years, March 2020 to now May 2023.
I learned a lot; I built a lot of skills and self-taught myself courses and languages (Japanese, Italian, Spanish), but it seems until this moment I didn’t find a place I feel I belong to 100%
And I'm tired of boring typical interviews with typical boring companies, isn’t there other creative ways to see someone’s potential, a different company with creative approach and work environment that doesn’t make you feel burnt out or bored to death or you’re useless no matter how full of potential you are .
Write down a comment if you had a similar experience and what advices you can provide me
submitted by Maru280 to Advice [link] [comments]
Worked so hard then and I didn’t have a life because I studied most of the time and didn’t enjoy even summer vacations or travelled, I did 6 years and I was supposed to do 5 years, I tried to study abroad after applying to a local university but it didn’t work out,
Turns out there’s no money or status unless you become a rep (which is the highest pay in pharmacy field so far) who begs doctors to prescribe your company’s medication, work field is shit and I didn’t get accepted anywhere I wanted but I kept searching and applying for half a year till I landed a job with insurance somehow,
A year after in the new job, still not much money or status instead I tried changing the company to renew my pharmacy license and ended up in a shitty toxic environment and boring job felt like a prison in that company which I did only 2 months and quit during the probation period.(renewed my license though which later on will reveal it meant nothing)
I decided to change my field as I had passion for fitness, I took 2 courses in the fitness field and started my own online personal training business where the main client base was family and close friends I didn’t get many clients as it seems my marketing didn’t go well or probably my Instagram page was so boring and there wasn’t much engagement.
After around a year from quitting last job, I got a job in a gym with low salary, still no money or status and all my savings vanished.
It was mix of hard times, new experiences and a little spice of hurt because of the amount of peopling there, I hated daily basis human interactions.
I again had to quit because of a lot of reasons, mainly because my mother gotten so sick with her cancer.
3 months later still no job and I ran out of most of my savings, I got one interview by coincidence through my old manager which wasn't that bad but they told me I'm not fit for the position and might give me another position in the same place (insurance company) oh and by the way my license expired.
Now I'm thinking about leaving the whole medical and insurance field and maybe try yoga instead of usual fitness instructor classes because it’s too much for a small body lol
That was in the span of around 3 years, March 2020 to now May 2023.
I learned a lot; I built a lot of skills and self-taught myself courses and languages (Japanese, Italian, Spanish), but it seems until this moment I didn’t find a place I feel I belong to 100%
And I'm tired of boring typical interviews with typical boring companies, isn’t there other creative ways to see someone’s potential, a different company with creative approach and work environment that doesn’t make you feel burnt out or bored to death or you’re useless no matter how full of potential you are .
Write down a comment if you had a similar experience and what advices you can provide me
2023.05.30 00:22 Dhruv01810 Buying a Used Tesla from a Dealership vs. Tesla's Website
Hi all - I posted here a few weeks ago to ask for some advice about used Tesla Model S purchasing, and I got great feedback. Now, I'm set on getting a Tesla, but I found out recently that you can actually buy a used Tesla from Tesla's own website. Has anyone had some experience with this? I'm mostly concerned that there are no real pictures of the vehicle and, to the best of my knowledge, you cannot test drive or even see the car before it's delivered. To add to that, I don't see a 30-day/X mile return policy like Carmax, and I see that the "car will exhibit cosmetic imperfections". As it's used, I don't mind the odd clear-coat scratch or scuff on the interior, but it seems like quite a gamble if I cannot see it and I cannot see pictures of it beforehand.
For reference, I am looking at a 2020 Model S Performance. Thanks in advance for the advice!
submitted by Dhruv01810 to TeslaLounge [link] [comments]
For reference, I am looking at a 2020 Model S Performance. Thanks in advance for the advice!
2023.05.30 00:22 Fresh-Ad-3424 A 4-year Journey to Pregnancy
This post is meant to give hope to those of you mama warriors with a mental health diagnosis, and those of you also thinking about adopting internationally. This is my story, and I am eager to hear yours if you've found yourself in a similar situation. Long post warning!
Pregnancy was not my first choice. Adoption was. After two failed adoptions over the past few years, we decided to TTC, and here we are halfway through our pregnancy with a healthy baby boy! Here's how:
Four years ago, my husband and I (we are both currently 34) decided we were ready to start a family. Both of us have known our entire lives we wanted to adopt our first child. At 30 years old, we decided it was time to start the process. It took about a year to do research/become comfortable with starting the application process. Then in 2020, we decided we preferred to adopt internationally, specifically from India. After about a year of the application process, we were ultimately denied because (all of a sudden) India decided they were no longer accepting applications from non-Indian families during the pandemic. We were crushed. All our time, money, and effort... non-refundable.
After a few months of grieving, we decided to start the process again, this time with Columbia. With international adoptions, the process starts completely over again with each country you apply to. After even more time, money, and effort, we were denied AGAIN. Despite passing the Home Study and Psychological Evaluations and Physical Exams and blood work, Columbia's response was that they were uncomfortable with a particular medication I was taking - Lithium. I had been diagnosed as "Suspected Bipolar" in 2012 after I became manic from taking the antidepressant Cymbalta. The psychiatrist I saw in 2012 informed my family and I that some people who have Bipolar disorder become manic after taking certain antidepressants, so I should be treated as Bipolar as a precaution to prevent a further episode of mania.
I was on Lithium for 10 years of my life. Despite never having mania again or being hospitalized, no doctor who I saw during those 10 years agreed to attempt to get me off of Lithium. And I saw several doctors.
I took the Columbia denial REALLY hard. I took it personally. How could I not? The entire COUNTRY of Columbia decided I wasn't fit to be a mother. All because of a suspected diagnosis and a medication that made them uncomfortable? I couldn't believe it. There is a stigma towards individuals with mental health diagnoses in many foreign countries, and I certainly think that should change.
Cut to about 1.5 years ago after the two adoption applications and denials. I sought out help from my OB and asked what needed to be done to TTC naturally. Pregnancy... something I never saw myself enduring. But this was the only option we could afford at this point to start a family. My OB told me she didn't want to see me again until I was completely off of Lithium. I found a doctor who was willing to work with me, but long story short, she was new in the field, and nearly landed me in the hospital after 2 different trials with meds. I was overmedicated yet again (first time with Cymbalta) and not doing well. After that terrible experience, I fired her and sought out a different doctor. It took me SIX MONTHS to find a doctor who would work with me.
Until I found my knight(ess?) in shining armor... Dr. L. She was the first doctor who looked at my situation objectively (IMO) and determined that since I had never experienced mania outside of Cymbalta, and I had never been hospitalized, it was worth a shot to attempt to switch meds. It took about a year to transition from Lithium to Latuda, and I did really well. So well, that there had been literally no change in my mood at all. Which kind of stumped me. How could this doctor be so good at her job, and the last doctor nearly landed me in the hospital?
After the year of switching to Latuda, Dr. L suspected I might not be bipolar, and only had the allergic reaction to Cymbalta because I was overmedicated. She suspected it all along, but after the transition, she was confident enough to suggest going med free... med free for the first time in 11 years?! I was equally excited as I was scared. I took the plunge, and long story short, here I am, 4.5 months pregnant, totally mood stable and med free. No complications whatsoever. It was possible. And my doctor and I both agree... I am actually doing BETTER. My libido is back. I am experiencing emotions again. Yes, I get sad and depressed and anxious sometimes, but it's all situational and totally manageable with meditation, yoga, tie-dyeing, journaling, talking to my husband, or a contemplative walk.
I never thought that 1. I would ever be med free and 2. I would ever be pregnant. I have been through quite a bit over the past 11 years to say the least. I spared you from many details for space. I still have some resentment toward my parents for agreeing with all those doctors for those 10 years, but I am working through that with my therapist. One of these days, I will have a deep conversation with my parents about how I feel about it all. Right now, I am just so happy to be happy and healthy and housing a little alien baby boy in my body lol. It's a really weird process for me, but I have grown to become more comfortable with it through the failed adoptions and doing my own research on pregnancy. And experiencing all the wonders of pregnancy myself.
Of course I can only say this now that I am in the second trimester and not vomiting my brains out anymore!! :)
I just want to say that whatever you are going through, as hard as it may be, and as long as you may have been enduring it, I hope you find relief and that light at the end of the tunnel soon. Something that I learned throughout this process is how to advocate for myself and my mental health. I can only hope you do the same. Don't ever sell yourself short on mental health care. You deserve nothing but the best for yourself, as you know yourself best.
submitted by Fresh-Ad-3424 to pregnant [link] [comments]
Pregnancy was not my first choice. Adoption was. After two failed adoptions over the past few years, we decided to TTC, and here we are halfway through our pregnancy with a healthy baby boy! Here's how:
Four years ago, my husband and I (we are both currently 34) decided we were ready to start a family. Both of us have known our entire lives we wanted to adopt our first child. At 30 years old, we decided it was time to start the process. It took about a year to do research/become comfortable with starting the application process. Then in 2020, we decided we preferred to adopt internationally, specifically from India. After about a year of the application process, we were ultimately denied because (all of a sudden) India decided they were no longer accepting applications from non-Indian families during the pandemic. We were crushed. All our time, money, and effort... non-refundable.
After a few months of grieving, we decided to start the process again, this time with Columbia. With international adoptions, the process starts completely over again with each country you apply to. After even more time, money, and effort, we were denied AGAIN. Despite passing the Home Study and Psychological Evaluations and Physical Exams and blood work, Columbia's response was that they were uncomfortable with a particular medication I was taking - Lithium. I had been diagnosed as "Suspected Bipolar" in 2012 after I became manic from taking the antidepressant Cymbalta. The psychiatrist I saw in 2012 informed my family and I that some people who have Bipolar disorder become manic after taking certain antidepressants, so I should be treated as Bipolar as a precaution to prevent a further episode of mania.
I was on Lithium for 10 years of my life. Despite never having mania again or being hospitalized, no doctor who I saw during those 10 years agreed to attempt to get me off of Lithium. And I saw several doctors.
I took the Columbia denial REALLY hard. I took it personally. How could I not? The entire COUNTRY of Columbia decided I wasn't fit to be a mother. All because of a suspected diagnosis and a medication that made them uncomfortable? I couldn't believe it. There is a stigma towards individuals with mental health diagnoses in many foreign countries, and I certainly think that should change.
Cut to about 1.5 years ago after the two adoption applications and denials. I sought out help from my OB and asked what needed to be done to TTC naturally. Pregnancy... something I never saw myself enduring. But this was the only option we could afford at this point to start a family. My OB told me she didn't want to see me again until I was completely off of Lithium. I found a doctor who was willing to work with me, but long story short, she was new in the field, and nearly landed me in the hospital after 2 different trials with meds. I was overmedicated yet again (first time with Cymbalta) and not doing well. After that terrible experience, I fired her and sought out a different doctor. It took me SIX MONTHS to find a doctor who would work with me.
Until I found my knight(ess?) in shining armor... Dr. L. She was the first doctor who looked at my situation objectively (IMO) and determined that since I had never experienced mania outside of Cymbalta, and I had never been hospitalized, it was worth a shot to attempt to switch meds. It took about a year to transition from Lithium to Latuda, and I did really well. So well, that there had been literally no change in my mood at all. Which kind of stumped me. How could this doctor be so good at her job, and the last doctor nearly landed me in the hospital?
After the year of switching to Latuda, Dr. L suspected I might not be bipolar, and only had the allergic reaction to Cymbalta because I was overmedicated. She suspected it all along, but after the transition, she was confident enough to suggest going med free... med free for the first time in 11 years?! I was equally excited as I was scared. I took the plunge, and long story short, here I am, 4.5 months pregnant, totally mood stable and med free. No complications whatsoever. It was possible. And my doctor and I both agree... I am actually doing BETTER. My libido is back. I am experiencing emotions again. Yes, I get sad and depressed and anxious sometimes, but it's all situational and totally manageable with meditation, yoga, tie-dyeing, journaling, talking to my husband, or a contemplative walk.
I never thought that 1. I would ever be med free and 2. I would ever be pregnant. I have been through quite a bit over the past 11 years to say the least. I spared you from many details for space. I still have some resentment toward my parents for agreeing with all those doctors for those 10 years, but I am working through that with my therapist. One of these days, I will have a deep conversation with my parents about how I feel about it all. Right now, I am just so happy to be happy and healthy and housing a little alien baby boy in my body lol. It's a really weird process for me, but I have grown to become more comfortable with it through the failed adoptions and doing my own research on pregnancy. And experiencing all the wonders of pregnancy myself.
Of course I can only say this now that I am in the second trimester and not vomiting my brains out anymore!! :)
I just want to say that whatever you are going through, as hard as it may be, and as long as you may have been enduring it, I hope you find relief and that light at the end of the tunnel soon. Something that I learned throughout this process is how to advocate for myself and my mental health. I can only hope you do the same. Don't ever sell yourself short on mental health care. You deserve nothing but the best for yourself, as you know yourself best.
2023.05.30 00:22 StaticReality_ 24 [M4F] Charlotte, NC - hey you! Yes. You! Come and say hello
Hello fellow humans ! I'm a 24-year-old guy from Charlotte, NC, I’m looking for my special someone (ages 20-28) who's ready for a long-term relationship. My interests are football, basketball, video games, cuddles, cats, and getting lost in the depths of TikTok and YouTube.
Personality-wise, I'm laid-back and quiet, but I become more talkative around people I know. My sense of humor leans heavily on sarcasm, so if you appreciate witty banter, we'll get along great! At the same time, I'm super affectionate, and family-oriented, with honesty being a core value of mine. (Trust issues 😅)
I live in Charlotte,but I'm open to long-distance relationships within the USA. When it comes to dealbreakers, smoking cigarettes is a no-go for me. Currently, my lifestyle is on the quieter side, but I'm eager to be more active and try new things. If you're up for hitting the gym, going on hikes, or just exploring new activities together, DM Me :)
Fun fact about me: I've been on 20+ cruises 🛳️, so I've got plenty of travel stories to share. What’s the craziest travel story you have?
Ps. I’m going on a river cruise out of Paris next year so a plus one would be nice ;)
submitted by StaticReality_ to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]
Personality-wise, I'm laid-back and quiet, but I become more talkative around people I know. My sense of humor leans heavily on sarcasm, so if you appreciate witty banter, we'll get along great! At the same time, I'm super affectionate, and family-oriented, with honesty being a core value of mine. (Trust issues 😅)
I live in Charlotte,but I'm open to long-distance relationships within the USA. When it comes to dealbreakers, smoking cigarettes is a no-go for me. Currently, my lifestyle is on the quieter side, but I'm eager to be more active and try new things. If you're up for hitting the gym, going on hikes, or just exploring new activities together, DM Me :)
Fun fact about me: I've been on 20+ cruises 🛳️, so I've got plenty of travel stories to share. What’s the craziest travel story you have?
Ps. I’m going on a river cruise out of Paris next year so a plus one would be nice ;)
2023.05.30 00:22 JPTom Martin automatically transports himself to a non-Euclidean universe when he's under stress.
Another title I like to give to my grandson. Martin (one tidbit: his parents name his twin brother Bartholomew, so they could be Matt and Bart if they preferred). Anyway, Martin is stressed for some reason and disappears. Turns out he entered a non-Euclidean dimension where people are unrecognizable as anything but geometry. He pops back, but for the rest of his life goes back and forth - and the government would really like to know how he does it. He eventually has a girlfriend in the non-Euclidean dimension. He brings her home where she appears as a normal, if completely disoriented, human woman.
I'm surprised that I haven't been able to find this myself, despite many searches. Anyone have any ideas?
submitted by JPTom to whatsthatbook [link] [comments]
I'm surprised that I haven't been able to find this myself, despite many searches. Anyone have any ideas?
2023.05.30 00:21 G00DKlDMAADCITY Don't go looking for things you don't want to find, and don't ask questions you don't really want the true answer to. Oh and always... ALWAYS trust your gut.
This might end up being fairly long and if so I apologize in advance but I hope this ends up being as cathartic as I’m hoping.
Let’s start at the beginning. I wasn’t a good husband... hell I probably wasn't even a good person. I was selfish, inattentive to her needs, hid a painkiller addiction for many years and a copious amount of other issues. I wasn’t perfect though neither was she. We were happy though and together for a decade. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m the most non-jealous person in the world. I don’t care what you do with your friends, where you do it, and when as long as your honest. For example let’s say one of her friends invited her to go out of town or to do something for a weekend, it was like “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go out of town with insert name here” and vice versa for me “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go hunting with insert name here”. All that being said, again, not jealous AT ALL, but after the divorce and subsequent relationship I think my trust with SO coworkers is irreparably damaged.
His name was Joe, I heard through some of her other coworker friends he had a crush on my wife. Whatever, she got cheated on with her first love and couldn’t even watch movies or shows where someone cheats it would make her so angry. So I never thought twice about her going out with her coworkers. Now again, let me say I was not a good husband towards the end, and it took a long time and a lot of hurt and anger had to be let go to where I finally realized that I don’t fault her for finding solace in the arms of another, because she was a damn good wife, a damn good mother, and an even better husband. And she deserved better. I relapsed after an incredibly awful start to 2018. I went and stayed at my moms and had to go over to the house to get some things. Her and my daughter were gone somewhere but her Apple Watch was there. My gut told me what I already knew, and what I knew was that I shouldn't look through it knowing what I would find. What did I find? That she was filing for divorce the next week and plenty of messages to Joe. I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together. Can you guess what happened? I had a decent amount of money saved up so I took a sabbatical from work that ended extending to almost two years
December 2018, Christmas morning. I had a plan, it was foolproof. I was going to facetime my daughter in the morning to tell her how much I loved her and missed her and had a very merry Christmas... and then I was going to go in my backyard and blow my brains out. So thats what I did. I called her, talked to her as best you can to a three year old in the midst of a post present high with her cousins there too. Then I walked out in my backyard with my favorite rifle and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. For six hours. I cried, I wept... I wept for me, for my kid who was going to grow up without her daddy. I wept for my ex-wife who was going to have to explain to my daughter why she wouldn't be able to see her daddy again. I wept for my family and the pain I was about to cause them I begged and screamed to God. That if they were real and I was meant for things in this life that they would show me a fucking sign. Show me ANYTHING that would show me whether this drastic choice would be the right one... or the wrong. For six hours in the freezing cold. Never did get an answer that I could recognize as one. But the thought of my kid calling the person my wife had AT LEAST an emotional affair with, "Dad" made me sick... and made me want to live.
I decided to check into rehab, not for drugs, but so I didn't kill myself. Ive always kind of been a natural leader. I don't know why or what it is about me but people tend to flock towards me and have really either one or two reactions. They either really like me, or they really fucking hate me. Here though everyone really liked me and I was put in charge of running the meetings held there and trying to keep morale of the folks there. And it was a great fucking time. It was a month vacation in a really nice area of the state, I didn't have a phone, only my guitar and the resolve to work through my emotions in a safe place the best way I know how, by writing songs about it. Which is exactly what I did both in the classes, AA Meetings, out of class, didn't matter I was just knocking out song after song. I met a kid in there with a killer voice and a guy around my age who actually was the lead singesongwriter for a local band I was a fan of so it ended up being a really enjoyable experience.. The kid though... he got murdered last year from a drug deal gone wrong. Shot in a car and left to die in the parking lot. I think about him almost every day.
What did I learn? I learned that I shouldn't go looking for things I don't want to find, or ask questions that I really want the true answer to. Or so I thought.
I met K in December 2020 on Hinge. I wasn't sure I was really over my ex wife but then when we met it was love at first sight. And for a guy that didn't think he was ever going to love anyone again it was a major deal. She felt the same it seemed, though I now realize it was probably more of a trauma bond/rebound type situation. Things went really well for the honeymoon phase, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. She was a cheer coach/art teacher, it was new, it was exciting, the sex was great.. she was great... She had some pretty serious insecurities and abandonment issues though. Her mom dropped her off with what ended up being her adoptive family only to come back a few years later and take her away for a few months, then bring her back and drop her off again. She self sabotages and destroys anything good in her life for fear or being hurt and left by someone again. And she only dated guys that controlled her, treated her like shit, stole from her, etc etc. She took xanax and ambien which when it would kick in at first it seemed she was still cognizant. One night when I was staying over there she had taken it and asked me to look something up in her phone. As soon as I open it I see a text to a coach at the school she taught at that was just really inappropriate shit that made me feel uncomfortable, especially since he was married. I asked her about it when she off work the next day and she just downplayed it as they are wont to do. I let it go but its something I thought of often, especially after it ended.
We moved in together in August of 21. I helped her get a job at a school over on my side of town so we got a really nice apartment close to her work and not far from mine. Thats when things started to change. I'll never forget we were laying in bed on a Friday afternoon, I was about to go pick up my kid. I rolled over towards her side and propped myself up and looked at her for a second and thought how lucky am I, and so thats what I said out loud to her. Its like she recoiled like she got bit by a snake, bolted out of bed and said I was being clingy and essentially ran out the door where she ended up back on the other side of town and had dinner with a gay guy friend. I really didn't know what to do or how to take it so when I picked my kid up I took her over to my moms house and we stayed there until K called and asked me to come home so we could talk. I left my kid with my mom and went over there and she apologized and reiterated how she feels in relationships, the fear of being left, how independent she had to be because of her upbringing and a few other things.
Not long after that she forwarded me an email, I'm not even sure what she meant to send me if she even meant it to send to me because I never got around to asking. It was an email thread with the coach where she said "guess what?", "What? You're gonna have my baby?" "No I got Covid!". I confronted her about it, told her how it made me feel, and while she never really responded to it in a way that made me worry I still strongly disliked it and let her know that. Not long after that as we were laying in bed I saw she was texting someone exceptionally long paragraphs, you know the type, the type when you're first talking to someone and are explaining things about yourself to them? I'll spare the long part but come to find out shes found a new coach to have what appears to be an emotional affair with. Though come to find out this one ended up being physical. She broke up with me in January 22. Told me while I showed her love in a way she didn't know was possible, and treated her in a way nobody had ever treated her before that I was too good for her and deserved better. I tried to change her mind, lord knows I tried, I was madly in love. My kid was in love with her. We talked about a future I never thought possible after my divorce.
I moved out of the apartment and back to my moms until I could find a place. We talked occasionally and I spent so much time reading this sub and others. Posts about how to get her back, how to make her miss me, what to do and what not to do. When my work sabbatical ended I got my old job back. Its a great job, ridiculously easy and the amount of work I actually do compared to my compensation should be illegal. She lost her cheer stipend when we moved back to my side of town since she didn't coach and since we got the apt together I knew what her funds looked like. We got that place because we could afford it together, alone I knew she was going to struggle. And I still wanted her back... what better way to show her that and try to manifest it by just being there for her when she needed me? Little did I know that would be the only time she asked me anything. Only when she needed help, or was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to talk her off the ledge and tell her everything was going to be okay. It was never her asking how I was doing, or my kid, or my dog, or what was going on in my life. Everyone told me what my gut had already told me but I lied to myself over and over. Not long after all this happened I found out she had been seeing the new coach at the new school though she still won't admit it even up to... checks notes today.
March 23 I get my first really big commission check I gave her 10k and we paid off her credit card, some other debt she had, some missed car payments and other bill help. Not long after that she tells me shes going to a cabin nearby where shes from with her sisters and nieces/nephews and asks me to watch her dog which I miss just as much as her so I do it. Mind you previous to this we went through a rough spot and she had blocked me on IG and never unblocked me. One of my cousins still followed her though, she hits me on snapchat saying "oh wow K looks amazing" I say "Oh yeah, does the cabin look nice?" She said "Cabin? Looks like shes at the beach" and sends me a screenshot of her IG post. I do my best FBI investigation and zoom in on her glasses, it appears to be a guy taking the picture based on the reflection from the frames and I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, come to find out, we'll call him JMJ also happens to be in Florida at the same time. So I call her out and tell her she needs to find someone to come get her dog and I'm done with her and her lies. She tells me "Oh my mom and dad are traveling across the country in their RV (WHICH THEY WERE) and so when you sent me that extra money after we paid the bills my sister and I decided to fly to Florida to spend some time with them on Spring Break"
She then breaks down and tells me how shes ruined the relationship with the last genuine person in her life and that when she gets back she'll get her dog and I'll never hear from her again. Master manipulator and while shes an amazing liar to someone who wants with every fiber of his being to believe him, is awful at hiding her lies. What do I do? Well I'm a fucking idiot so you can already imagine what I did. I begged her for once to just be honest with me. For once in our entire two years going back and forth that if she ever did truly love me or respect me for things I did for her that she would be honest. She told shes not dating anyone and doesn't have a boyfriend and that nothing has changed. I told her that even if she was seeing someone and told me about it I would help her out one last time only because I had committed to it. I told myself I was doing it for altruistic reasons, that because of all her issues that if I can do for her what I said I would do for her and that would help her out in her future relationships to show her that not everybody is it out to just fuck her and leave her, that when some people tell you they'll do something for you they mean it and she stops self sabotaging then I did my part.
A couple weeks ago was her 30th birthday. I see if she wants to grab dinner but she says one of her girl teacher friends is taking her to dinner in the galleria area. Check the guys IG story via an anonymous viewer and guess who happens to be at a restaurant in the galleria area? I don't even call her out because at this point Im making a plan. I get another rather large check in July and so we had previously talked about paying off the rest of her debt. She tells me shes going to her parents house for MDW and then that shes going out of town today with one of her old friends to New Orleans. This is when I realize just whats about to happen. Im about to have the answer to the question I thought I was dying to know the answer to. I told myself if he posts an IG story today where hes traveling, there is 0% chance that shes not with him. The first thing I see when I open IG is he posted a story... in Cancun. Then the next picture I see... her phone on the table next to him. Bingo. Send her an email saying "Hey I hope you have fun in Cancun!" and that was it. Almost immediately she texts me asking how I know and figured it out and I just saw red. I immediately opened up IG and sent him a message with texts, receipts, bank transfers, her telling me that she still loves me and we can go take a trip this summer, how many times shes asked me for money and help and the lies shes told me about him. She asks me to stop messaging him and I say that shes forever lost the option to ask ANYTHING of me but realize what Im doing is not the right thing and is hella immature so I send her another email saying I'm sorry and out of respect for her I wont say anything else to him.
Then he sends me a message on IG asking to elaborate more and then told me she told him I owed her a lot of money... I asked how much and for what and he said $2k for bills when we first got together. Thats when I sent him an entire list of all bank transactions through our bank and Apple Pay. Just digital alone, $18.647.00 over the last six months plus another $12,460.00 in cash over the last eight months. Then I realized just how little better this made me feel. In fact I thought I would feel triumphant, and ready to move on and finally be over her and start to heal. Knowing full damn and well keeping her around and helping her was keeping me from being able to heal and move on. I sent her another message telling her I was taking the last part of her birthday gift to her apartment and leaving it in the ottoman outside her door and that because I had already accounted for and mentally prepared for giving her money in July that I still would then I blocked and removed her from IG and anything else that would open up an avenue for contact.
Here we are. Starting NC again... a year and a half after we broke up all because I thought I needed the answers to what I didn't want to find out or know. And that yet again, my gut has yet to lie to me in regards to relationships. What is wrong with me? Why even after all of this do I still want her in my life and want her back? If she called me tomorrow needing help I'd probably still do it. How do I fix myself? I've gotten an entire new wardrobe, an entire home gym so I quit blaming my depression for why I didn't go to the gym, and have tried really hard to focus on myself yet I know deep down everything I'm doing, I'm still doing for hopes of her. I lied to myself and clouded my own gut and mind to listen to my heart when I knew what I already knew yet still felt the need to confirm it.
Its not worth it. IT. IS.NOT. WORTH. IT. Keep that door closed if you don't want to know whats on the other side. Don't open that book if you don't want to see whats written on that last page. If your gut is telling you something, its probably right. Listen to it. When your friends and family are telling you the same thing your gut is telling you, listen to them. Even if its killing you, even if its the last thing you want to do, even if its going to break your heart again and reopen any wounds for you to bleed out again it has to be done. Don't be like me. Don't prolong your suffering for a year and a half for hope that you know isn't going to shake out in your way regardless of what the other person might be telling you.
submitted by G00DKlDMAADCITY to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
Let’s start at the beginning. I wasn’t a good husband... hell I probably wasn't even a good person. I was selfish, inattentive to her needs, hid a painkiller addiction for many years and a copious amount of other issues. I wasn’t perfect though neither was she. We were happy though and together for a decade. I’ll preface this by saying that I’m the most non-jealous person in the world. I don’t care what you do with your friends, where you do it, and when as long as your honest. For example let’s say one of her friends invited her to go out of town or to do something for a weekend, it was like “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go out of town with insert name here” and vice versa for me “hey are we doing anything this weekend? No? Okay I’m gonna go hunting with insert name here”. All that being said, again, not jealous AT ALL, but after the divorce and subsequent relationship I think my trust with SO coworkers is irreparably damaged.
His name was Joe, I heard through some of her other coworker friends he had a crush on my wife. Whatever, she got cheated on with her first love and couldn’t even watch movies or shows where someone cheats it would make her so angry. So I never thought twice about her going out with her coworkers. Now again, let me say I was not a good husband towards the end, and it took a long time and a lot of hurt and anger had to be let go to where I finally realized that I don’t fault her for finding solace in the arms of another, because she was a damn good wife, a damn good mother, and an even better husband. And she deserved better. I relapsed after an incredibly awful start to 2018. I went and stayed at my moms and had to go over to the house to get some things. Her and my daughter were gone somewhere but her Apple Watch was there. My gut told me what I already knew, and what I knew was that I shouldn't look through it knowing what I would find. What did I find? That she was filing for divorce the next week and plenty of messages to Joe. I knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together. Can you guess what happened? I had a decent amount of money saved up so I took a sabbatical from work that ended extending to almost two years
December 2018, Christmas morning. I had a plan, it was foolproof. I was going to facetime my daughter in the morning to tell her how much I loved her and missed her and had a very merry Christmas... and then I was going to go in my backyard and blow my brains out. So thats what I did. I called her, talked to her as best you can to a three year old in the midst of a post present high with her cousins there too. Then I walked out in my backyard with my favorite rifle and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. For six hours. I cried, I wept... I wept for me, for my kid who was going to grow up without her daddy. I wept for my ex-wife who was going to have to explain to my daughter why she wouldn't be able to see her daddy again. I wept for my family and the pain I was about to cause them I begged and screamed to God. That if they were real and I was meant for things in this life that they would show me a fucking sign. Show me ANYTHING that would show me whether this drastic choice would be the right one... or the wrong. For six hours in the freezing cold. Never did get an answer that I could recognize as one. But the thought of my kid calling the person my wife had AT LEAST an emotional affair with, "Dad" made me sick... and made me want to live.
I decided to check into rehab, not for drugs, but so I didn't kill myself. Ive always kind of been a natural leader. I don't know why or what it is about me but people tend to flock towards me and have really either one or two reactions. They either really like me, or they really fucking hate me. Here though everyone really liked me and I was put in charge of running the meetings held there and trying to keep morale of the folks there. And it was a great fucking time. It was a month vacation in a really nice area of the state, I didn't have a phone, only my guitar and the resolve to work through my emotions in a safe place the best way I know how, by writing songs about it. Which is exactly what I did both in the classes, AA Meetings, out of class, didn't matter I was just knocking out song after song. I met a kid in there with a killer voice and a guy around my age who actually was the lead singesongwriter for a local band I was a fan of so it ended up being a really enjoyable experience.. The kid though... he got murdered last year from a drug deal gone wrong. Shot in a car and left to die in the parking lot. I think about him almost every day.
What did I learn? I learned that I shouldn't go looking for things I don't want to find, or ask questions that I really want the true answer to. Or so I thought.
I met K in December 2020 on Hinge. I wasn't sure I was really over my ex wife but then when we met it was love at first sight. And for a guy that didn't think he was ever going to love anyone again it was a major deal. She felt the same it seemed, though I now realize it was probably more of a trauma bond/rebound type situation. Things went really well for the honeymoon phase, it was like we couldn't get enough of each other. She was a cheer coach/art teacher, it was new, it was exciting, the sex was great.. she was great... She had some pretty serious insecurities and abandonment issues though. Her mom dropped her off with what ended up being her adoptive family only to come back a few years later and take her away for a few months, then bring her back and drop her off again. She self sabotages and destroys anything good in her life for fear or being hurt and left by someone again. And she only dated guys that controlled her, treated her like shit, stole from her, etc etc. She took xanax and ambien which when it would kick in at first it seemed she was still cognizant. One night when I was staying over there she had taken it and asked me to look something up in her phone. As soon as I open it I see a text to a coach at the school she taught at that was just really inappropriate shit that made me feel uncomfortable, especially since he was married. I asked her about it when she off work the next day and she just downplayed it as they are wont to do. I let it go but its something I thought of often, especially after it ended.
We moved in together in August of 21. I helped her get a job at a school over on my side of town so we got a really nice apartment close to her work and not far from mine. Thats when things started to change. I'll never forget we were laying in bed on a Friday afternoon, I was about to go pick up my kid. I rolled over towards her side and propped myself up and looked at her for a second and thought how lucky am I, and so thats what I said out loud to her. Its like she recoiled like she got bit by a snake, bolted out of bed and said I was being clingy and essentially ran out the door where she ended up back on the other side of town and had dinner with a gay guy friend. I really didn't know what to do or how to take it so when I picked my kid up I took her over to my moms house and we stayed there until K called and asked me to come home so we could talk. I left my kid with my mom and went over there and she apologized and reiterated how she feels in relationships, the fear of being left, how independent she had to be because of her upbringing and a few other things.
Not long after that she forwarded me an email, I'm not even sure what she meant to send me if she even meant it to send to me because I never got around to asking. It was an email thread with the coach where she said "guess what?", "What? You're gonna have my baby?" "No I got Covid!". I confronted her about it, told her how it made me feel, and while she never really responded to it in a way that made me worry I still strongly disliked it and let her know that. Not long after that as we were laying in bed I saw she was texting someone exceptionally long paragraphs, you know the type, the type when you're first talking to someone and are explaining things about yourself to them? I'll spare the long part but come to find out shes found a new coach to have what appears to be an emotional affair with. Though come to find out this one ended up being physical. She broke up with me in January 22. Told me while I showed her love in a way she didn't know was possible, and treated her in a way nobody had ever treated her before that I was too good for her and deserved better. I tried to change her mind, lord knows I tried, I was madly in love. My kid was in love with her. We talked about a future I never thought possible after my divorce.
I moved out of the apartment and back to my moms until I could find a place. We talked occasionally and I spent so much time reading this sub and others. Posts about how to get her back, how to make her miss me, what to do and what not to do. When my work sabbatical ended I got my old job back. Its a great job, ridiculously easy and the amount of work I actually do compared to my compensation should be illegal. She lost her cheer stipend when we moved back to my side of town since she didn't coach and since we got the apt together I knew what her funds looked like. We got that place because we could afford it together, alone I knew she was going to struggle. And I still wanted her back... what better way to show her that and try to manifest it by just being there for her when she needed me? Little did I know that would be the only time she asked me anything. Only when she needed help, or was having an anxiety attack and needed someone to talk her off the ledge and tell her everything was going to be okay. It was never her asking how I was doing, or my kid, or my dog, or what was going on in my life. Everyone told me what my gut had already told me but I lied to myself over and over. Not long after all this happened I found out she had been seeing the new coach at the new school though she still won't admit it even up to... checks notes today.
March 23 I get my first really big commission check I gave her 10k and we paid off her credit card, some other debt she had, some missed car payments and other bill help. Not long after that she tells me shes going to a cabin nearby where shes from with her sisters and nieces/nephews and asks me to watch her dog which I miss just as much as her so I do it. Mind you previous to this we went through a rough spot and she had blocked me on IG and never unblocked me. One of my cousins still followed her though, she hits me on snapchat saying "oh wow K looks amazing" I say "Oh yeah, does the cabin look nice?" She said "Cabin? Looks like shes at the beach" and sends me a screenshot of her IG post. I do my best FBI investigation and zoom in on her glasses, it appears to be a guy taking the picture based on the reflection from the frames and I kind of have an idea who I think it could be, come to find out, we'll call him JMJ also happens to be in Florida at the same time. So I call her out and tell her she needs to find someone to come get her dog and I'm done with her and her lies. She tells me "Oh my mom and dad are traveling across the country in their RV (WHICH THEY WERE) and so when you sent me that extra money after we paid the bills my sister and I decided to fly to Florida to spend some time with them on Spring Break"
She then breaks down and tells me how shes ruined the relationship with the last genuine person in her life and that when she gets back she'll get her dog and I'll never hear from her again. Master manipulator and while shes an amazing liar to someone who wants with every fiber of his being to believe him, is awful at hiding her lies. What do I do? Well I'm a fucking idiot so you can already imagine what I did. I begged her for once to just be honest with me. For once in our entire two years going back and forth that if she ever did truly love me or respect me for things I did for her that she would be honest. She told shes not dating anyone and doesn't have a boyfriend and that nothing has changed. I told her that even if she was seeing someone and told me about it I would help her out one last time only because I had committed to it. I told myself I was doing it for altruistic reasons, that because of all her issues that if I can do for her what I said I would do for her and that would help her out in her future relationships to show her that not everybody is it out to just fuck her and leave her, that when some people tell you they'll do something for you they mean it and she stops self sabotaging then I did my part.
A couple weeks ago was her 30th birthday. I see if she wants to grab dinner but she says one of her girl teacher friends is taking her to dinner in the galleria area. Check the guys IG story via an anonymous viewer and guess who happens to be at a restaurant in the galleria area? I don't even call her out because at this point Im making a plan. I get another rather large check in July and so we had previously talked about paying off the rest of her debt. She tells me shes going to her parents house for MDW and then that shes going out of town today with one of her old friends to New Orleans. This is when I realize just whats about to happen. Im about to have the answer to the question I thought I was dying to know the answer to. I told myself if he posts an IG story today where hes traveling, there is 0% chance that shes not with him. The first thing I see when I open IG is he posted a story... in Cancun. Then the next picture I see... her phone on the table next to him. Bingo. Send her an email saying "Hey I hope you have fun in Cancun!" and that was it. Almost immediately she texts me asking how I know and figured it out and I just saw red. I immediately opened up IG and sent him a message with texts, receipts, bank transfers, her telling me that she still loves me and we can go take a trip this summer, how many times shes asked me for money and help and the lies shes told me about him. She asks me to stop messaging him and I say that shes forever lost the option to ask ANYTHING of me but realize what Im doing is not the right thing and is hella immature so I send her another email saying I'm sorry and out of respect for her I wont say anything else to him.
Then he sends me a message on IG asking to elaborate more and then told me she told him I owed her a lot of money... I asked how much and for what and he said $2k for bills when we first got together. Thats when I sent him an entire list of all bank transactions through our bank and Apple Pay. Just digital alone, $18.647.00 over the last six months plus another $12,460.00 in cash over the last eight months. Then I realized just how little better this made me feel. In fact I thought I would feel triumphant, and ready to move on and finally be over her and start to heal. Knowing full damn and well keeping her around and helping her was keeping me from being able to heal and move on. I sent her another message telling her I was taking the last part of her birthday gift to her apartment and leaving it in the ottoman outside her door and that because I had already accounted for and mentally prepared for giving her money in July that I still would then I blocked and removed her from IG and anything else that would open up an avenue for contact.
Here we are. Starting NC again... a year and a half after we broke up all because I thought I needed the answers to what I didn't want to find out or know. And that yet again, my gut has yet to lie to me in regards to relationships. What is wrong with me? Why even after all of this do I still want her in my life and want her back? If she called me tomorrow needing help I'd probably still do it. How do I fix myself? I've gotten an entire new wardrobe, an entire home gym so I quit blaming my depression for why I didn't go to the gym, and have tried really hard to focus on myself yet I know deep down everything I'm doing, I'm still doing for hopes of her. I lied to myself and clouded my own gut and mind to listen to my heart when I knew what I already knew yet still felt the need to confirm it.
Its not worth it. IT. IS.NOT. WORTH. IT. Keep that door closed if you don't want to know whats on the other side. Don't open that book if you don't want to see whats written on that last page. If your gut is telling you something, its probably right. Listen to it. When your friends and family are telling you the same thing your gut is telling you, listen to them. Even if its killing you, even if its the last thing you want to do, even if its going to break your heart again and reopen any wounds for you to bleed out again it has to be done. Don't be like me. Don't prolong your suffering for a year and a half for hope that you know isn't going to shake out in your way regardless of what the other person might be telling you.
2023.05.30 00:21 loud-judgement87 Shocker…
 | Home for a whole 5mins and she’s already taking selfies with no kid in sight. THE most self absorbed human ever 😐 submitted by loud-judgement87 to aarynmjsnarkpage [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 00:21 Nerdydude14 Spider(ule)-man
 | submitted by Nerdydude14 to 196 [link] [comments] |
2023.05.30 00:21 NerfPup Whenever people bring up My Little Pony and how the fandom is toxic they always bring up points I've literally never heard before
I joined in 2020 so idk but everyone is like "oh they were everywhere" which is fair and then they bring up stuff like a mass amount of gatekeeping which I've only ever heard of in Twitter. But that's Twitter. Idk sometimes it just feels like people are looking for reasons
submitted by NerfPup to mylittlepony [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 00:21 BuroraAurorealis Race Report: 2023 Calgary Marathon 10K
- Name: Calgary Marathon - 10K
- Date: May 28, 2023
- Distance: 10 km
- Location: Calgary, AB
- Website: https://calgarymarathon.com/
- Time: 0:53:39 (Garmin time) 0:54:25 (Chip time)
Goals
| Goal | Description | Completed? |
|---|---|---|
| A | Stick to training program | Yes |
| B | Sub 0:55:00 | Yes |
| C | Finish without injury | Maybe |
Splits
| Kilometer | Time |
|---|---|
| 1 | 5:10 |
| 2 | 4:59 |
| 3 | 5:09 |
| 4 | 5:20 |
| 5 | 5:22 |
| 6 | 5:22 |
| 7 | 5:24 |
| 8 | 5:33 |
| 9 | 5:47 |
| 10 | 5:34 |
Background
I (M39) caught the running bug pretty late in life—in my early thirties. I was never an athlete, and actively disliked sports when in school. I regularly went to the gym in my 20s and early 30s, but my cardiovascular fitness was generally mediocre.I first started running in 2014, but wasn't very consistent until 2020. That's when I put in about 3 km every day, running behind my preschooler as she learned how to ride a bike. I ran longer distances every weekend, gradually ramping up to 10 km.
In 2021, I ran my first competitive 10K (also at the Calgary Marathon). I did no training to speak of, and while I completed the race, I got severe shin splints from it. They would recur every time I ran long distances, so any running between then and now was intermittent.
Training
Come 2023, I decided to give it another shot. I signed up for one of Garmin's 10K training programs (with coach Greg McMillan) in February, and set an aggressive target for myself—10 km in 55 minutes. This was uncharted territory for me, as I had never maintained a consistent 5:30 pace before. My fastest 10K stood at 1:01:20, and my quickest 5K was 28:30 or so.The hardest part was simply sticking to the schedule. Juggling the responsibilities of being a parent, having a demanding job, and a bustling family life made finding time for running a constant challenge. That inevitably translated to running either at the crack of dawn, or late in the evening (in Calgary weather … brr!). Training generally went without a hitch—I maintained a steady tempo of 25-30 km per week.
I learned some valuable lessons in these 15 weeks. The first was listening to my body. The fear of recurring shin splints haunted me, so I took two week-long breaks when I sensed overtraining. These breaks allowed me to bounce back from fatigue, stay motivated, and prevent injuries.
Another revelation came in the form of easy running. "What? I don't have to go flat-out, chasing personal bests every time I step out to run? Coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool." Easy running was fun, stress free, and almost meditative!
I also paid careful attention to my nutrition, making conscious choices to cut back on greasy foods and snacks. Hydration became a top priority. I made sure to drink at least 72 oz of water daily and fueled up with electrolytes before and after my runs.
Lastly, I honed my running form, using YouTube videos and this sub for guidance. I zeroed in on my running cadence—a sluggish 150-155 spm—as a key area for improvement. I increased it to 175-180 spm over a span of a few weeks, and the results were immediate. My runs felt smoother, my legs were less sore after intense runs, and I could maintain my energy for longer. The increase in my daily step count was an unexpected bonus!
Pre-race
As the big day approached, I felt confident and ready. I adhered to my tried-and-true pre-race meal of steamed rice, mashed potatoes, and two boiled egg whites. The excitement kept me from getting a good night's sleep, but I knew the jitters were part of the package. Three hours before the race, I had a light breakfast—a peanut butter and honey sandwich and a cup of tea.Then, for the next couple of hours, I immersed myself in quiet solitude, mentally preparing for the epic challenge that lay ahe …
Race
The weather was about 15°C and sunny; a tad on the warmer side. I planned to maintain a pace between 5:20 and 5:24 so that I'd meet my goal with about a minute and a half of cushion.The race started on the dot at 7:30 am. The crowded field prevented me from sprinting too quickly. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise: I tend to take off like a jackrabbit, only to fizzle out prematurely. Still, even at a controlled pace, my first three kilometers flew by at 5:10, 4:59, and 5:09. Surprisingly, I felt like I wasn't pushing myself to my limits.
The course went gradually (very gradually) uphill for the next four kilometres, but my run in this patch was smooth: I maintained my target pace and felt things were going well. Somewhere along the way, I passed the 0:55:00 pacer.
Weariness started creeping in during the seventh kilometre. My mouth felt parched, my cadence fell below 165 or so (a telltale sign of fatigue) and my upper back grew stiff. I took a Gu, but it only made my mouth drier. My pace was still on target, but I knew this wasn't going to last. In the eighth kilometer, I allowed myself a slight slowdown in the eight kilometre (clocked 5:33) and again on the ninth. This lap was the slowest at 5:47 (or 3.6 roentgen: not great, not terrible). As I crossed the 9 km marker, the timer on my watch registered 48 minutes and change. Meaning I had a good seven minutes to make the final kilometre.
That knowledge just motivated me to pick up the pace. One forceful, final push—although torture—would be the cherry atop what had been a strong performance thus far. As I crossed the finish line,a feeling of exhilaration consumed me: I knew I had crushed my goal!
Post-race
Outside the finish zone, I reunited with my family, who had been my unwavering support throughout this extraordinary journey.My daughter tackled the 1.2 km kids race soon after. Then my incredible wife fearlessly took on her very first 5K, braving the scorching noon heat to set a personal best time. I can't express how proud I am of both for taking up a challenge and sticking with it to the end.
I wanted to finish the race without sustaining any lasting injuries, and I think I succeeded. My legs were burning, and my calves are still sore. I have a slight, sharp pain above one ankle, but I hope it fades away soon.
Postscript
Looking back on this journey, I'm glad that I challenged myself with an ambitious goal, and went on to exceed it.But what stands out to me is my commitment to the training plan. Consistently investing effort, time, and energy has resulted in tangible benefits. My stamina has improved, my VO2 max is up by two points, my resting heart rate has fallen significantly, and I feel fitter overall.
I'm now ready to tackle the next obvious challenge: conquering a half marathon. And who knows, perhaps a full marathon awaits me in the not-so-distant future.
Made with a new race report generator created by herumph.
2023.05.30 00:20 sharkbot777 VPS hosting company with human support?
I'm looking for a media temple replacement need static dedicated IP for one site no DB required is there a hosting company left with a simple cpanel interface and human support? I know phone support is gone like the dinosaurs but at least chat? sparse and outdated 'KnOwLeDgE bAsE' doesn't cut it
submitted by sharkbot777 to webhosting [link] [comments]
2023.05.30 00:20 AlphaBladeYiII I still love Star Wars and even though I don't look forward to the future, I find enjoyment in the past.
Recently, I did a mega Star Wars marathon that went OT (Imperfect, but great), Rogue One (kinda slow and don't really care for the characters but the final act is excellent), PT (Love the story and characters, but execution could've been better. TPM is underrated though), Clone Wars microseries (fun but, no, it's not better than TCW) and Solo (fun movie. Underrated). Currently rewatching TCW and while the first season is rough on rewatch, it has some solid eps like the Domino squad stuff. On the reading front, I've been rereading Darth Vader (2015) and Star Wars (2015) comics by Jason Aaron and Kieron Gillen. Been also playing Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy.
Guess what? I'm legitimately having a blast. Enjoyed all of this a lot to varying degrees. And I still have so much from the old EU that I haven't experienced yet. I still love the Lucas saga, the animated stuff (great to decent most of the time) and a lot of comics and novels from both EUs (somewhat controversial, I know).
I don't have hope for any of the upcoming shows or movies after Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mando S3 and Book of Boba Fett. I've also lost intereat in the New EU outside maybe Star Wars (2020) comics. But I still love Star Wars. I can still enjoy it.
submitted by AlphaBladeYiII to StarWarsEU [link] [comments]
Guess what? I'm legitimately having a blast. Enjoyed all of this a lot to varying degrees. And I still have so much from the old EU that I haven't experienced yet. I still love the Lucas saga, the animated stuff (great to decent most of the time) and a lot of comics and novels from both EUs (somewhat controversial, I know).
I don't have hope for any of the upcoming shows or movies after Obi-Wan Kenobi, Mando S3 and Book of Boba Fett. I've also lost intereat in the New EU outside maybe Star Wars (2020) comics. But I still love Star Wars. I can still enjoy it.