Destiny 2 preservation puzzle not working

Inspiration can be a fickle thing. The muses may guide our hearts towards a particular passion, but they don’t always stick around to see us through it. As a child, Kousei Arima felt a natural attraction to the piano. He could play music by ear, was a gifted mimic, and had boat loads of potential to one day dominate the instrument. With the help and encouragement of a family friend, Kousei’s mom set him on his desired path, but life as a pianist was harder than he thought. Rather than playing for fun and expressing himself through music, she wanted him to be able to make a living through his music, so she went as hard on her little pianist as possible, going as far as to beat and abuse him if he underperformed or tried to play a piece in his own way. By the time the terminal illness she’d hid from him took it’s toll on her, his passion was gone, replaced with the cold, robotic delivery of one who could deliver a piece perfectly, but found no more joy in doing so. He lost his mother, along with his ability to hear the notes he was playing.
Two years later and about three feet taller(I’ll GET to that), Kousei still tinkers around with the piano, but hasn’t played it seriously, to the chagrin of all who enjoyed his work, or just hate to see him so incomplete. It’s at this point, like all down-trodden men who’ve lost their luster for life, that along comes that one girl to bring color back into his world. Her name is Kaori Miyazono, and she’s a violinist who cares nothing for rules or convention, finding childish but somehow wise joy in every aspect of life, and with this one chance meeting, Kousei finds a new muse… A capricious, cheerful beauty whose revisionist musical performances instantly connect with the crowds she plays for, and whom seems singularly obsessed with performing alongside Kousei, and helping him to relaunch the career that he’d so recently abandoned. But her dedication to helping him to overcome his tragedy hides a secret tragedy of her own, and one simple lie she told back in April will live on to define their relationship as they change each others lives through mutual inspiration.
I haven’t seen everything that’s been produced by A-1 pictures, but I honestly can’t remember seeing anything they’ve done that looked outright bad. Sure, Sword Art Online and From the New world looked a little sloppy at times, resorting to broken character models to show fluid motion at reduced costs, but if that’s the worst they can do, then they could do a lot worse. They seem to take a lot of care with their work, putting an admirable amount of effort into quality control, like letting a low budget get the better of them would be an insult to their pride or something, and if that observation is correct, then I like the way they think. I’ve noticed that they generally have a penchant for putting a lot of energy into special effects, and then using just enough budget saving tricks to compensate without going overboard or letting it become noticeable. Key frames are well drawn and pleasing to the eye, and they feature a little more than just flapping mouths, with occasional shifts in posture to keep the characters expressive.
Of course, there don’t need to be special effects in a show about musicians, right? Wrong. Not only are special textures like water given special treatment, but we often get visual representations of the emotions brought out by a piece of music, which use environmental and 3D effects to keep our attention during the sequence, especially towards the end when Kousei and Kaori are playing together in a fantasy sequence, and the camera liberally revolves around a beautifully 3D animated piano. The characters also have a lot of inner monologuing that’s shown to us in artistic fashion, reminiscent of His and Hers Circumstances, but what I found the most impressive was the actual animation of the characters playing their instruments on stage. I can’t confirm this, but I have heard from a few people that A-1 pictures used a technique similar to rotoscoping, and I feel no justification for doubting this rumor, as every movement of the performing musicians, from fingers on the keys to the way the bow’s movements perfectly matches the music of the violin.
It would be so easy to get away with having a still image on screen while only the performers arms moved, and more intense note being played offscreen while only the audience’s frozen faces of adoration are showcased, but as I said, that would be an insult to A-1. Kousei, Kaori and several others put their entire bodies into their performances, losing themselves in it, and you feel every drop of their adrenaline. Character designs are beautifully polished and easy on the eyes, with it’s only major departure from reality being that the musician characters look a little more distinctive and exuberant than non-musicians, like Kousei’s friends. Well, okay, there is one other unrealistic detail that bothered me a bit… The difference in height between 14 year old characters and themselves at 12 is fucking insane. My jaw dropped when they said that Kousei quit the piano at 12, because he was so short that when he sat on the bench his feet didn’t even touch the ground. I could have sworn he was, like, 6 or something. It’s my only real issue with the visuals, but it’s still a pretty jarring one.
The music of the series… Do I even have to say it? It’s a series about musicians, and you can’t do something like that if you don’t have the knowledge or resources to pull it off, and they seriously pulled it off. Not only is it full of classical music, you can tell the difference in the way these pieces are being played, and the music that is meant to inspire and astound people does exactly that to the audience as well as the characters. From what I gather, Yuna Shinohara, a decorated Japanese violinist who was only 21 at the time, played the music for Kaori, and her wealth of training and experience did not go to waste. I can’t find as much information on Eriko Kawachi, who played all of the piano pieces, which is unfortunate. The show’s actual soundtrack was composed by Masaru Yokoyama, and while it isn’t as memorable or powerful as the character-based performances, it’s still solid and well-orchestrated, so it’s a shame it gets overlooked in favor of the insert tunes.
The English dub was produced by Aniplex, and features a lot of newer actors from this decade, alongside a few industry veterans. I’d like to say these newcomers step up and use this show as a platform to make a name for themselves, but I’d be stretching the truth a bit, mostly on account of the many loops that Your Lie’s text throws them for. Their performances were not consistent, which is a direct result of their material not being consistent, and I don’t really think it was fair for them to be thrown into something this eclectic. For the most part, they do a fine job voicing the characters while nothing’s really happening. It’s just characters talking to each other, sounding like natural teenagers going about their lives. Where they really shine is during dramatic scenes, and ho boy are there a lot of dramatic scenes in this anime. There’s a lot of pain, insecurities, confusion, all of that fun adolescent stuff, but with a much harsher but still believable edge to it once you realize the kind of real life circumstances that they’re dealing with.
While some of these issues may be worthy of an eyeroll from the viewer… Most of the characters who are in love with Kousei fall into this category… They’re going through issues that you probably had to deal with as well, and you can scoff at it from your seat as a grown up, or laugh at how silly it is for this obvious harem to try and be something more, they’re feeling something you’ve felt at some point, whether you remember it or not, and they damn well make you feel it. The exception, where several otherwise amazing actors begin to falter… Is with the gag humor, when the characters go SD Chibi for exaggerated reactions, and I don’t think they were ready to transition the specific roles they were playing into it. Max Mittelman, for example, is one of the best voice actors to come out of the 2010’s, and even though he hasn’t been acting long, his voice control and dramatic chops have landed him plenty of leading roles. He can do comedy under the right circumstances… You’d know what these circumstances are if you’ve seen One Punch Man… But he sounds horrible during the gag jokes.
It’s even worse for Erica Lindbeck, who had a tough job playing such a nuanced character as Kaori, whose happy-go-lucky persona hides a darker interior, and she does a great job of it, but the gag scenes just make her sound like a despicable asshole. Smaller characters face the same issue, albeit on a smaller scale, but the few veterans are able to navigate the minefield a lot more skillfully, like Wendee Lee(Who, in all fairness, never has to do a gag scene), Stephanie Sheh and Carrie Keranen. They have the experience to stretch their roles beyond the appropriate tones, which comes in handy here. The adaptive script is loose, but still accurate enough, and changes the vernacular so everyone sounds more like contemporary English, without ever sacrificing the intent of the text. They make a handful of charming and character-appropriate references, like occasional nods to Charlie Brown and The Phantom of the Opera, although they also use the phrase ‘as you know’ a few too many times. They probably should have changes some of the text, as a lot of it, when translated, sounds weird coming from 14 year olds.
Okay, so, here we are again. It wasn’t too long ago that I was calling out modern anime fans for letting their emotions cloud their judgement, saying that they often give perfect scores to any anime that makes them cry. Seriously, you could give a critic a massage, a home cooked meal and the best sex of their life and you’d still be working harder for a 10/10 than most anime do. Back in 2016, I’d just uploaded my reviews of Clannad and Clannad Afterstory, and I asked social media to recommend an anime that had genuine feels… nothing manipulative, nothing manufactured, nothing too formulaic, just an anime that would touch me emotionally and make me cry with sincerity. The overwhelming answer was Your Lie in April, a show I’d been avoiding due to all of the hype. I finally gave it a watch, and did it stand up as a heartfelt masterpiece, or did it offer the same old same old? Well, to be honest,it’s a little of both. My feelings on this show were mixed the first time around, and the second viewing hasn’t changed that.
Unfortunately, Your Lie doesn’t get off to a great start. The first thing we see is a foul ball hitting our man character in the head, lying on the floor and bleeding with what has to be a serious concussion, but not only does he heal immediately, but he shares the blame for the broken window the ball flew through. That’s not just bad, that’s disturbingly bad. It sets an early precedent for him being a sad sack with no will of his own, which I guess is kind of accurate, but it also makes his closest friend look like a monster for taking advantage of it(Trust me, this feeling is only gonna get worse.) I try to move past this, but almost immediately, it becomes apparent that all three of Kousei’s friends are some of my least favorite cliches in anime history. His two primary friends are Tsubaki and Watari, and they are… Respectively… A childhood friend who’s hopelessly in love with the main character, and a girl crazy guy who exists to make the main character feel desirable in comparison. I am so sick and tired of these two archetypes being stuck in orbit around at least half of the main characters in the medium.
And Kaori’s worse, because she’s a trope that I usually don’t see in anime, and I’m not complaining about that. She’s happy-go-lucky, she’s childish, she’s an enlightened soul who’s able to see all of the simple joy in life, and she comes out of nowhere to dedicate her life to dragging the main male character out of the slumps. She is a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, which is to sexism what the Magical Negro trope is to racism. Granted, she deconstructs the trope a little bit, as she actually has a backstory and a reason to help Kousei, but she makes up for that small silver lining by taking the “Life begins at man” trope to a new extreme, as “Life begins AND ENDS at man.” I’ll give her this, she IS the reason I kept watching the series, as I was entranced by her violin performance in episode 2, and she made me want to keep watching so I could hear more of her work, which sounded even better when she played with Kousei. On top of that, she plays an important… Dare I say instrumental… Role in Your Lie’s deeper themes.
Your Lie in April is a story about inspiration, and it attacks this concept from every possible angle. As annoying and cliched as his friends may be, Kousei is a good character who has a great arc that deals with this theme. He begins as a child, having fun doing something that he’s gifted at, until he stops doing it for fun and starts doing it as a future career, being forced to perfect it and take it seriously by his mother, who pushes him to the point of abuse. She controls his life, making everything he does revolve around the piano, even taking away his cat and abandoning it somewhere so it can’t scratch his hands. He loses the ability to hear the notes he’s playing, and quits altogether to avoid his mother’s tyranny along with the intense pressure she put on him for not being good enough. On the surface, this is a very mature look at child abuse and the way it can have long term psychological effects on the developing mind, such as Kousei’s performance anxiety, and especially the fact that cats pose a trigger for him(And I mean the actual definition of trigger, not the bullshit internet definition), and the abuse in question is realistic, rather than cartoony or melodramatic.
Below the surface, this is a story for anyone who’s ever lost their passion for something they once loved. The idea that expressive and interpretive music is frowned upon, and only literal performances are acceptable in competition, which is enforced by both the competition committee and Kousei’s mother, gives an understandable reason for his loss of inspiration. His music was becoming routine, and pointless. I don’t think his inability to hear the notes he’s playing is realistic at all, but it’s symbolic for that loss of passion. When your work becomes routine, it becomes repetitive, and it finally becomes robotic. When your hobby becomes work, you fall out of love with it, which is why Kaori coming into his life was such a major turning point for him. She showed him that there was another way to play. She inspires him, breathing new life into his abilities, and helps him to separate his passion from the pain and sadness that he’d come to associate it with, and it changes his life in so many ways… He starts playing again, he comes out of his shell, and he even begins teaching a younger pianist… That he winds up inspiring her in return.
They also make an argument that you play even better when you’re playing for other people, and while I’ve never personally agreed with that, they make a compelling case. Your own music, your own performances, are not your only legacy. The music you inspire others with is just as important, as your work also lives on through their work. They make a great point when they say that it’s hard to play the piano when you compare yourself to Beethoven, but it’s not nearly as hard when you remember that Beethoven was once just like you, a rookie trying his best to measure up to the greats who inspired HIM. It’s a shame they had to resort to a manic pixie dream girl in order to pull this off, but it’s largely forgivable, especially considering certain reveals that happen in the final episode. So yeah, this is not a shallow series. There is meat to the story, and something meaningful that you can get out of watching it. I’d be happy to say that the series was also executed well, but sadly, this is where things start to break down.
The text of the series, for example, is severely lacking. The idea of inspiration and Kousei’s character arc are well written and exactly as subtle as it needs to be, but the other subplots… The romantic ones in particular… Are annoyingly obvious, and frankly, kind of arbitrary. I mentioned Tsubaki as a ‘childhood friend’ earlier, and while this should instantly telegraph that she’ll never get her guy… They never fucking do… She does absolutely nothing else to justify her presence. Everything about her revolves around her love for Kousei and why he won’t respond to it. Every aspect of her life ties in somehow to her love for him, and since it amounts to nothing, she could have been written out in the first half of the series. I won’t go into too much detail about the other romantic subplot, or how it offers Watari his only relevance to the plot(although he does have a few moments relating to the theme), but they commit one other huge mistake… They use constant, and I mean constant, voice over narration from the characters as they explain their feelings to the audience. It’s lame, it’s tedious, and it seems to be trying it’s best to keep YOU from thinking too hard about what you’re watching, because it doesn’t want the pointless teenage melodrama to lose it’s effect.
Another huge problem is the gag humor, which feels viscerally inappropriate and out of place. It makes the heavier themes of the show harder to swallow, and not just on an aesthetic level. For example: We see Kousei sustain head injuries during two of these gags, that result in him lying on the floor and bleeding out. We also see Kaori hit him right in the crown of the head with an axe kick, driving her heel down into his skull. Now, if these instances didn’t cause any lasting damage, and the people doing it are supposed to be seen as likable, how am I supposed to feel when his mother beats him in the head with her cane? I’ve seen him shrug off shit like that before, so I don’t care. Am I supposed to feel different because of the tone of the scenes? This isn’t the fucking Looney Toons. Hell, even the Looney Toons had consistency. I can’t be expected to believe that a portion of the material shown to me doesn’t count just because the writer was making a joke. That’s disgusting. I’ve complained about Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood making this mistake, but Your Lie is just as bad.
And then you have the plot, which did not work for me at all. Like, I said the themes were strong in this series, but they suffered one major setback. Kousei’s mother physically abused him and forced him to play music the way she wanted him to, all because she thought it was in his best interest. His friends, however, do exactly the same thing. Sure, they might not take away his beloved pet, but they still harass him, assault him, chase him, break into his room and generally act like complete assholes in order to get their way. He warns that his performance might not be good, he falters due to a psychological breakdown, Kaori has Tsubaki and Watari start roundhouse kicking him, and HE apologizes. How are they any different than his mother? Because it’s supposed to be comedic? I’m not exaggerating when I say that most of the interactions he has with his friends make me cringe, with their only justifications being ‘comedy,’ and the fact that they just happened to wind up being right. So the ends justify the means.
And then you have Kaori’s entire plot, which… Okay, I’m going to try not to go into spoilers, but if you’ve seen the show, you know damn well what I’m talking about. And this is the big one, the one that makes everybody praise the show out the wazoo, so I’ll try to be gentle. At the end of episode 4, Kaori faints on stage. At that moment, even though I was trying to enjoy the series despite it’s flaws, I couldn’t help it. I knew where this was going. I said, “Oh fuck, she’s gonna (censored), isn’t she?” I am dead serious about that. The beginning of the fifth episode featured her in the hospital, and folks, I predicted everything. I knew what was going to happen to her, i knew she was keeping it secret, I knew that it was going to be kept deliberately vague all the way to the end, I knew I’d never hear her play again(outside of maybe a dream or fantasy sequence), I knew what her backstory and connection to Kousei was going to be.
Knowing this stuff in advance took a huge damper off of the emotional impact of literally any point of the show. Granted, I did make one prediction that wasn’t true. I predicted we’d never meet her parents, which I wish had turned out true, because her parents are… Brace yourself for this… They’re Nagisa’s parents from Clannad. They are literally that. They own a pastry shop, they’re wacky and over-the-top, they live in said shop, and… Well, there’s one other spoiler connection, but that, along with a painful firefly sequence, made your Lie feel TERRIBLE at foreshadowing. I found myself, in both moments, shouting at my TV screen, “Okay, I get it, she’s gonna (censored), shut the fuck up about it!” So did the big bad tragedy work on me? No, of course it didn’t. The only part I got choked up at was a late scene when a cat died at a vet’s office, because it brought up painful memories for me. Don’t get me wrong, there’s something here, and it does make the experience a rewarding one, but it just couldn’t stick the landing.
Your Lie in April is available as a Rightstuf Exclusive, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the price is offensively high. Even on sale as part of the site’s holiday deals, it’ll still costed 130 dollars for each HALF of the series, down from 160 dollars regular price. Used copies on ebay go for as low as 60 dollars for each HALF, and I can not recommend you pay that much for an overrated series. You can watch it for free on Netflix, but if you absolutely need a physical copy, I’d actually go against my better judgement and recommend the Malaysian bootlegs on Ebay, which do come with a dub for a fraction of the official price. The manga is available from Kodansha comics, and volume 1 even comes with a sweet exclusive cover if you get it from Loot Crate. The live action movie is probably available stateside, but from what I’ve heard about it, I don’t care enough to check.
Your Lie in April isn’t a great anime, but it’s also not a terrible one. So, overall, is it good or bad? Well, to be honest, I didn’t enjoy the vast majority of it. I found the gag humor annoying and in bad taste, I found the comedic violence way too similar to some of the tragic material, there are too many cliches, and I caught on to some of the more important plot points way too early to fall for them. Having said that, I can’t say the experience was a bad one. The themes of Kousei’s character arc resonated very strongly with me, as someone who’s currently falling out of love with a long time hobby, and while I found his friends to be wholly unlikeable, his piano rivals were much more interesting, and I actually want to see more of him interacting with them. The final tragedy would have been a lot stronger if it hadn’t been so obvious, or if it at least had a proper explanation, and you can’t possibly deny that the audio and visual production went beyond top notch. It had a lot of problems, but honestly, it’s an okay show. It doesn’t live up to the hype, but it’s worth checking out. I’m being generous here, but I’ll give Your Lie in April a 6/10.

I'm a physician that works for the physician group of Kaiser outside of Texas or California. Because of the way that Kaiser is set up across the country, the physician group is separate and technically does not qualify for PSLF, even though Kaiser is a non-profit. This may change for physicians in Texas/California due to laws in those states, but KP is set up similarly in other states.
Due to my prior employment (payments, COVID, recalculations, etc), I'm at 108 confirmed PSLF payments. I'm short 12, and have been working for Kaiser for over 1 year.

1. Is there any chance, any at all, that the new PSLF rules that are due to come out at some point might make all Kaiser employees eligible?
2. In the event that I pay my loans off aggressively, and the rules for qualifying employment change, is there any chance that I might be "get" PSLF/payments refunded?

Thanks for everyone's help.

Hey everyone,
Here's the situation, falling with the "door into the house": I really do not like my name. With no offence to the culture that I myself am from, since it is actually a really normal Eastern European name (in some regions), there are a few reasons that I do not like it:

1. My name is so unique, it makes me easy to find online. Literally type my first-name and my city, and you will find me in an instant. I do not really want that.
2. I feel like I am to some extent always reduced to my "exotic" name (as it is often called) - no matter how fluent my Dutch language is or how integrated I am or behave, my name will always face certain prejudice at least on the work-place or the housing-market.
3. Dutch, Frisian or German names sound phonetically nicer anyway.

The problem is: do the reasons above somehow qualify you to rename yourself entirely? Does anyone here have any experience with name-changes that are not really motivated by the usual situations (divorce, gendesex transitions, etc.).
I understand that there are worse reasons that will force you to change your name (literally having a swear-word as your name, being in a witness protection programme, etc.) and I do not want to take this subject lightly or bagatellise other situations in which a name-change is more necessary, but I just feel like my real name is too much of a burden to me.
Before I send this post, I feel like I also need to clear up some stuff: I do not really want any discussion on how this could be "internalised racism" or how this might be problematic. I have made up my mind for the most part. That I happen to like Dutch/German/Frysian names is not related to any notions of white supremacy, nationalism or other things of the like. I feel like it is a purely phonetic matter to me (while I do admit, it also has cultural motivations due to reason 2).

Hey, UK buyer here, I'm potentially going to be purchasing a second hand 2019 150d manual E Pace and got soke questions before signing on the dotted line. I've current got an Astra GTC 2lt diesel so used to the fuel type, but this will be my first Jag

• with the car being a 'base' model, does this have SatNav?
• does Apple CarPlay/Android auto work with the entertainment screen? If not, can this be upgraded?
• I've noticed that it recommends services every 2 years, normally I'm used to every 12 months. Any reason why?
• AdBlue, this is new to me, how often does this need filling/topping up?
• any common faults to be aware of? Faults etc?

As this potentially will be a large investment for me, I want to make sure I'm making the right decision.
Any advice or support would be greatly received 🙏

I (45f) live with my partner (51m) of 3 yrs. He has 2 kids (9 & 10m) 50%.
I do all the domestic tasks at home (cleaning, laundry, meal planning, veg garden and about 40% of the farm chores, plus I work).
He’s pretty good about doing the dishes approx 1/3 of the time and he does the kids lunches 100%.
My issue is this: lately he is running himself totally ragged with projects and is making dinner about once per week that we have the kids. I’m starting to feel that he should be doing most of the dinner when we have the kids. I’d be happy to do the cleanup so he’s free to help with homework and just spend time with them. But lately I find I am cooking AND cleaning up and rather than using that time to be with them, he is tuning out, scrolling his phone and ignoring everyone.
He’s highly sensitive to anything he perceives as criticism and feels I “complain too much” already. But I’m overwhelmed.
Does anyone not cook when you have the s-kids? How do you handle the division of labour when they are not your kids?
I want to deal with this but don’t want to end up in an argument.
Any advice would be appreciated.

I have never paid for pandora. I have always searched for what I wanted to listen to, Waycross the add and then got the free 1/2 hour to listen to whatever I wanted. Today that's not working. What's the deal?

hi everyone, im new here and i feel bad for bothering and venting to my friends about this and felt better if i just shared it here :/
me (20F) has finally gotten back into i guess the “dating scene” after a really bad situationship and was recently asked out by this guy who came up to me at work. he was pretty, charming, and very funny and even told me where he worked. after he left my coworkers told me he was flirting with me, and as someone who cant read body language or social cues very well I was super surprised. i ended up finding out he was a lifeguard at our university rec center and I gained the courage to give him my number. he seemed very flustered and happy which, for me felt like an obvious indicator he was into me too. i even had my friends hid behind a corner while i asked to get their their opinions on the interaction too. he ends up texting me the following day and we begin talking, flirty, all of the cringy stuff and he asks me out on mothers day. i had to reject since i was spending time with my mom in a different city and by the time i’d be back he would he with his mom already. he made it seem like he completely understood and we kept talking. i thought things were going really well and was waiting for him to reschedule our date before i went to chicago for a vacation with my friends. he never did reschedule but seemed like he was excited for me to go on my trip. but the day i left he seemed to completely stop talking or take half the day to answer my texts. he would always find an excuse and apologize and i thought nothing of it, until it kept happening again and again. he ended up ghosting me, which didn’t hurt as bad since ive been used to getting rejected or ghosted for most of my life. although i do have to admit it still hurts. i decided to redownload bumble and swipe just for fun, since nothing really comes out of it anyway. i ended up meeting this one guy, D (23M) who looks shockingly a lot like alex and was very sweet. i also noticed from his profile that we also do have a similar taste in music! he asked me out on a date the following weekend to a korean restaurant that recently opened up on the other side of town and even offered to pay for me. this was a little out of my comfort zone considering i havent met anyone in real life off of a dating app. so i suggested to go to our city’s annual festival, since i have never went before. there was going to be a firework show, rides, and food—so i figured, why not? he was sweet enough to buy everything the whole day. i felt like we connected quickly, we had a lot of similar interests and seemed like someone ideal to be with. the day of our day i got ready, i also let him know how nervous ill be since in general im not great with meeting new people. he completely understood and expressed he was nervous too, which made me feel slightly better. on his profile i saw that it says in the “looking for” section he only put “something casual” which did make me nervous that he was going to be too touchy or want to hookup. but on the day of the date he did not seem that way at all. he was kind, respectful, funny, and very laidback. we didnt even hold hands until towards the end of our date. after going on fun rides and getting pizza we headed over the firework show and ate our food while watching it. i thought that he would at least kiss me at that point but i could tell he was also pretty nervous. we talked for about 2 hours after the firework show ended and once it started to get too hold we started heading back to his car. on the way i took him to some of my favorite parts of downtown. which in my opinion were the best places to share a first kiss with no one around, but it didnt happen. i was also okay with the fact it didn’t happen, since i didnt want to pressure him into anything. once we got to the parking garage we hugged goodbye and i walked home. once i got home he texted me saying he was locked out of the parking garage and that he accidentally parked in a university parking garage. i work with id services at my job, so thankfully i knew what to do in the situation to get him help. he expressed a lot of gratitude and we texted until we both fell asleep. the next day he responded to my text i left him before going to sleep and i began to notice he was only texting me every 1-3 hours throughout the day. i began to catastrophize, worrying that i was just going to get ghosted again. but whenever he did text back he seemed really into what we were talking about, so i didnt worry about it too much. the next day (yesterday) it was better, it turned into every hour he was responding, but then suddenly stopped at around 8pm. i tried making myself not worry or spiral as i know he is a human, is busy, and has a life of his own. he sent me a good morning text and answered the text i left him (around 8:30am this morning). after i answered he hasn’t interacted, opened, or talked to me all day. which worries me that i am inevitably am going to get ghosted. earlier today i suggested another date by going to see a movie, still no answer until while writing this post. he told me hes going camping this week and asked if next week will work and finally interacted with the things i sent him. im just worried he might be losing interest or will ghost me. or he could just be busy? im so used to sprouting relationships with all green flags suddenly crashing down by ghosting or being rejected. does anyone know how to cope or can give me any advice? or assurance that they felt similar to the way i am? or am i just acting insane? lol

Ffs.
Well this wasn’t part of the plan was it? In an alternate universe somewhere Bielsa has lead us to our 4th successive season in the Premier league and everything is fine in the world of Leeds United. Sadly my FIFA23 play through doesn’t translate to reality.
Initial thoughts Disasters do not just happen, they are a sequence of events that lead to catastrophe or in this case, relegation. Where is the starting point? The first domino? The first moment of negligence?
There’s a few points most of us will point too. Was it the sacking of Bielsa and the subsequent appointment of Marsch? The selling of Kalvin and Raphinia during last summer’s transfer window and not strengthening our squad? Or do we go as far back and the appointment of Orta as Sporting Director (that last one is a joke). It’s an almost impossible to say but what I do know is that the blame lands at the feet of the board.

• Not addressing the LB & ST issue before the start of the season
• Marsch not being sacked before the WC
• The board buying into the fizzy pop style of football
• Beating Liverpool and Bournemouth subsequently bought Marsch more time.
• The timing of Marsch’s sacking
• Whatever the fuck happened at HT during the Crystal Palace game
• Tyler Adams getting injured
• The Bamford miss
• The complete fuck up of Jean Kevin’s court case
• The defence
• Lack of leadership
• Sini being injured majority of the season
• Bamford being injured majority of the season
• Wober being sold to us as LB, turns out he’s another CB
• Project USMNT apart from Tyler Adams
• The sale of Klich and how his departure was handled
• Dallas and Forshaw being out for 100% and 90% of the season
• A lack of communication with the fans and poor tone and lack of awareness. Eg the AI generated club statement which no one signed, Season tickets & a link to the club shop on the relegation FT insta post.

That’s just off the top of my head. It’s like making a cocktail out of all the liquids you have in the house. It’s a drink, but it’s a bloody awful one that will leave you feeling sick.
Positives and where to find them
To start with this isn’t 03/04. I was a mere 10 year old boy and I’d just seen us at ER draw 3-3 with Charlton and a subsequent pitch invasion to console our beloved players off the field. This time the pitch invasion consisted of one fan and not a whole lot of sympathy. However this relegation does not seem like financial oblivion like 03/04 did, parachute payments and the ability to hold onto key assets will hopefully yield a base to build.
Resetting, it’s something that we have done about 3 times in the last season an a half. To me It was the equivalent of blowing the cassette of an N64 to make the game work. It might work but it’s bad for the console. This time it’s a hard reset a full switch off at the wall and wait 30 seconds. No Director of Football, No manager at present, new owners (potentially) and a fresh squad.
Squad hopefully a lot of the youth will return Cody possibly not but there’s a chance, but the return of Cresswell and Joffy is a welcome one and with a season of competitive championship football under their belts that is a huge positive. Speaking of youth Rutter could thrive in the Champ given the opportunity. The return of Forshaw and Dallas experienced heads who love the club and an ability to lead. Ayling and Cooper can get thrown into that category even after a long suffering season it’s two senior players that have been at the core of the club.
The Premier League is shit anyways…
You’re up there for the prestige, pride & money (that fans do not see) and that’s all you’re in for. Unless you have billionaires backing you or become Sportswash FC to become more than just a number in that league. The premier league anthem, why? Why is it a thing? It always played over Marching On Together, complete corporate nonsense. VAR well it’s a universally accepted opinion that it’s shite. Accepting that you’re going to get dicked by Man City et al every season, the 2-1 win was incredible and was something that we should always remember that Bielsa gave us but the other matches may as well have forfeited. AWAY FAN CAPACITY WTF all these state of the art stadiums with huge capacity and yet there’s away fan caps, mental. Just the sedated franchise nature of the Premier League just isn’t appealing.
What happens next?
The aforementioned reset needs to happen. A new DoF (is not a nutter and has or ego). A new manager with experience NOT BIG SAM. Someone like Benitez or Rodgers a return of Corberan would be welcomed. Return of the youth let’s be honest without the youth I might have been posting this last year, yes Joffy I’m looking at you. An urgency to bounce back as shit as the premier league and its stale atmosphere makes it duller than a room fully painted in magnolia we make it fun just being in there pissing people off Leeds away support is phenomenal. Ultimately you want your club to do well and be a source of pride and to achieve great things. Let’s not make it 16 years again eh?

1. Loling at my husband thinking me always leaving the fridge door open is cute (because I’ll be right back… won’t I?) then wondering if my brain is now doing it purposely to win a little affection, just because
   
2. Blowing my teammates’ minds at work constantly by calling the way a client project goes without fail just after meeting them, each and every time (pattern recognition = pure logic in my mind)
   
3. I recently learned that my love for drinks is probably an ND thing, and this makes me weirdly happy
   
4. The sweet relief and satisfaction of pulling off a successful personality heist (this is what I call it when I manage to hang out with NT friends semi-comfortably and without an obvious mask slip) and not finding any huge points of contention with myself for the performance later on (for the record, not glorifying masking and in fact on a journey to stop doing so, but when needs must I try to find the silver lining)
   
5. Hyper fixation - let’s be honest, when it’s directed towards the right thing, it can be a real relief
   

YOUR TURN
(I feel a weird moral Reddit obligation to disclaim that this post is written far more upbeat than I feel right now… but that’s the point maybe?)

Hi everybody! I feel like I have ended up at a bit of a crossroads, so seeking advice/opinions...
A bit of context first. I currently live in the UK, I am 27 y/o. I have completed a bachelor's (BEng) degree in aerospace engineering with really good results. During my undergraduate studies, I have also been able to undertake a placement at Bosch working as a development engineer in an R&D department; they liked me quite a bit, so they contracted me to provide them with support whenever I had time, which I did for another 2.5 years whilst at uni. I have also completed a master's degree in fluid dynamics (MSc), again with really good results. During it, I missed engineering and so I together with a team of 7 founded a rocketry team at the university. I became a chief engineer within this team. Within our first year, we got in and competed at the largest rocketry competition in the world and achieved the best result of any UK team ever. After this year I stepped down as chief engineer but stayed on as a mentor. Currently, I'm undertaking an industry-sponsored PhD, where I essentially experimentally and computationally study turbulent convection flow within a closed rectangular tank. I'm approaching the end of the second year of my three-year-long PhD.
the situation. I hate my PhD project. As outlined within the context - I have done a lot of things (of course - relatively) and I have always been able to figure out how to go about it so as to achieve good results. But this PhD project is different - I don't get it. Almost everything that I choose to do is the opposite of what my supervisors tell me to do; there is no consistency - I start one job, get into it, my supervisors tell me to cut it short, and so I get onto doing something else they think is worth doing. At the same time, they don't commit to anything, and if they do - it comes in a form of a promise that they will look into it at some point, which they never do. etc etc. Bottom line - I really dislike it, I feel overwhelmed, but not challenged. Probably most importantly - I feel like I am standing still in comparison to everything that was going on up till my PhD, and what is worse - I feel stuck because I got this far now, so I would feel like a waste of time quitting it. So I will not be quitting it. At the time a lot of my friends were pursuing jobs, which I think I got quite jealous of as I loved working in industry. So I decided to pursue a placement within a space industry company. I sent out two applications. I got invited into interviews for both, and, given the response that I received, I blew interviewees away in both. I accepted the one that I really wanted, and after some back and forth with the company and uni, we agreed on a 4-month long placement. But then, even though I really want to move to the space engineering industry after my PhD, I started questioning this placement.
This leads me to the problem. Is it worth it for me to take this placement?

• It is for 4 months, and I would need to come back to uni to complete my project, which is going to take another 15 months.
• I am well familiar with the work that I would be doing at this placement. I would be simply doing it within the space industry.
• The monthly salary is the same that I'm getting now.
• There is no promise of the company offering me a job after I finish my PhD.
• I would need to stop the rent of the current house, find a place to live in another city, move away for 4 months, and then repeat the process for moving back as I would need to come back to uni. (I really like my current place and really don't want to give it up. subletting is not an option.).
• The end date of my PhD project would shift by 4 months, from the end of summer to winter. Just a note: Graduate jobs typically start at the beginning of autumn.

I would really appreciate your thoughts, opinions and advice.
Cheers!

A day late but we're here, my little cheeto eaters! Remember as always to grab your bingo cards and let's get our little long weekend slumber party going. This whole fucking thing is FORTY MINUTES LONG, you're all lucky that my sibling who was supposed to spend the day chilling at my place has apparently forgotten that plan.
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• There's a new opening style than all her other vlogs. Not sure if that's because of Morgan but also I don't care enough to go hunt down exactly which influencer she cribbed this style from. It features a lot of horse butts. Also her using her phone in bed, which I thought she didn't do because she's mindful.
  • The music she uses is this song, which is DEFINITELY not copyright-free, so have fun learning how actual copyright law works, Paige! The lyrics playing over the are "there are times when/it feels right to/run away, run away/when you ask the same old questions/every day, every day/Why do I set the stage?/Why do I find my place on the pedestal?", because I guess Paige went to the Love is Blind school of "make sure the lyrics of whatever song you use are really, REALLY literal"
• Giveaway winners! Congrats to the three people who won a pile of Paige's old garbage! Don't worry though, if you didn't win her trash, she'll be doing a lot more of these because she "appreciates [us] guys so much" and "wants us to experience some of the things that I'm so grateful to get".
  • Nothing says grateful like giving away your extras to strangers and instead of doing anything to promote them like you were supposed to in return for getting them for free, using the existence of this stuff as a way to leverage yourself up on the algorithm.
    • There's also Dairy Boy in the giveaways, of course, because no one's buying it organically.
• She explains moving Louie, it's the same stuff she said on Instagram. Weirdly horses are like the only animal I've never gotten super obsessed with, so I have no idea how BS this is, but it's almost word-for-word her IG explanation, so it's the same level of BS that was. She does word this though as it being a "charity project" and "passion project" she "donated to", because there was a dearth I guess of places to keep your horse in the rich people part of Connecticut.
  • She has to first run to get a grazing muzzle so Louie doesn't overeat in the pasture. This sets off my internal bad animal treatment alarms in a huge way, but again, don't know enough about horses to know if this is warranted.
• Just kidding! Don't let Paige into a Tractor Supply unsupervised, she's too much of a ~country girl~ to not come out with "so much shit". She also got this beef jerky that looked "so good". It's Iowa Smokehouse beef jerky.
  • It apparently looked good because all she had for breakfast was coffee. Why she only had coffee I'm not sure, since it's not like she didn't have the time to get something better. Coffee and beef jerky for breakfast sure is a choice, and one I'm sure her intestines didn't make her pay for later. This summer is all about ~hot girl indigestion~.
  • Story time! This looks like "legit, real beef jerky", which Paige knows because when Paige was in boarding school she stayed with a family who had a lot of cows and they made their own beef jerky, which Paige was of course intimately involved in, I'm sure. Anyway this makes her have such high standards, which is why she loves when somewhere like Tractor Supply (an enormous fucking chain, Paige) or a "local country mart" sells jerky because it's always better.
    • Fun fact that took me less than thirty seconds to Google, this "real" beef jerky is also available on Amazon
• More of the same definitely not copyrighted song as she packs up Louie's stuff and moves him. There's a lot of woman laughing alone with salad shots as she packs up and pretends to talk to... someone and "carry stuff" (ie: stand around touching her own body awkwardly)
• Some weird things about this whole sequence - 1) the "farm" she moves Louie to appears to have very poor, dilapidated fencing, red flag for me. 2) Paige is wearing a white shirt and then a white cardigan the entire time while DEALING WITH A HORSE and it never gets stained or dirty, which tells me she did fuck all, 3) the only guy with her is this big bald much older man who I assume is the guy starting this venture, meaning he's almost certainly who films her cantering around on Louie without her wearing a helmet laughing, which is so unbearably awkward. Like imagine asking a random older dude to film you doing that in a pure white sweater, 4) when Paige brushes Louie he sheds SO MUCH. Is that bad? It feels bad. When a dog sheds that much, even in the spring, it usually means no one's been brushing it regularly, 5) Louie has such a dip in his back and it makes me wince every time, especially when Paige shows him next to another horse. I don't know what that's from, but I hate it and it doesn't look comfortable for him.
• Nance and Baloo are at home when Paige gets back so she's just going to "throw on a little outfit" and they're going to go out for Mother's Day in Brooklyn. Paige really, really didn't want to go into the city because I guess she's suuuuch a country girl (nice, Paige) but she's doing it for her mom and to see her sister
  • Oh my god she DOESN'T CHANGE HER SHIRT FROM THE BARN, she wears a white henley, what look like blue pajama pants, and a leather coat.
  • Nance steals some of Paige's clothes (how I don't know since they're totally different sizes) and according to Paige is"slaying the boots", a phrase I will pay actual cash money to never hear Paige say again
• Next morning, return of the out of focus camera, though it may have been by accident this time because it stays out of focus. Anyway serious business Paige with her serious business glasses is starting the day with some "desk work". Is that a thing? A phrase? What the fuck is "desk work"? Has anyone who actually does work at a desk ever called it that?
  • When she's in Europe it's definitely harder for her to sit and do computer work even though she has a laptop but starting the day on her desktop at the same time as her "whole team" (WHO) it really makes a difference for them being all on the same page.
    • Okay so my actual job in real life is doing shipping and order management for a small creative goods company. I know very intimately what goes into product development, order fulfillment, etc, and Paige is just straight up saying nonsense. Like I paused and gave serious thought to what possibly she could be talking about, and I don't know what all this "work" is. If she was making everything in-house that's one thing, but that's not work she could possibly be doing or overseeing from Europe. But if she's outsourcing stuff, having it sent to a warehouse, and, then paying someone to ship it out for her, I guess she's doing... development? But that makes no sense because again, she outsources everything. She isn't doing wholesale, there isn't a lot to arrange for pop-ups if everything is outsourced and pre-made and she's only supposedly having one this summer, she only has eight products so the website maintenance is pretty easy, as is accounting, and she only really sells stuff around a drop which she does maybe twice a year.......... like genuinely I'm baffled here. It's my job to do this exact same thing every day with products that aren't jeans or sweatshirts or whatever and I'm so, confused about what her "work" is.
    • Allegedly they're on the "final push" for so many big projects and you know what, if any of these projects involve Paige actually doing anything besides feeling three different samples of denim swatches or deciding which vendor she's going to outsource oven mitts to and saying "I like this" or "I don't like that", I will issue her an apology. I feel safe in the idea that I won't have to issue her an apology, but I will keep on on offer in the off-chance I'm wrong.
    • She just finished making a line sheet (genuine lol once I looked up what that was) and apparently we are going to freeeeak out when we see her new merch - sorry, elevated lifstyle products.
    • It's denim. She's been working on denim. She shows us the final washes but it's in direct sunlight so it's all blown out and out of focus so they look mostly white? But she got the "perfect color". IDK, it's a light wash. I prefer dark wash, actually. It's a lot more flattering and forgiving. But we've already determined my aesthetic and Paige's aesthetic are not the same aesthetic. She's nobly pushed back production six months because she refused to do a full run unless the wash was absolutely perfect. It was so expensive but she needed to love love love the denim, because it's really what she's passionate about and what she wants to do, she wants to be the best denim brand out there. You know, because she's hand-making this denim herself, not just sending instructions to low-wage Chinese workers while being afforded the privilege to fuss over the perceived quality for six months because she has parents who are willing to flush money down the toilet on this. Also, for the record, but denim is like... a choice? Like what is the vision, exactly, because every clothing retailer has some version of denim and people are already super married to their faves, so how exactly is this business model working for her, here. And it doesn't look like stretch denim either, which means it's going to fit a very, very narrow group of body types. Like speaking from ample experience crying in GAP dressing rooms over my "freakish" (read, not built like a popsicle stick) as a teenager in a time before jeggings, jeans are not forgiving and easily worn by everyone. The thing about what Paige is doing so far is that it's universal enough. You don't have to really tailor an oversized sweatshirt or trucker hat to fit you. Everyone can make room for another overpriced candle. But denim??? IDK girl, you do you.
• Paige makes Olivia a latte. Olivia comes in and say it's story time about coffee. Paige asks if she should turn off the camera for this and Olivia says no so Paige continues to film herself preening while Olivia tells her a story about how messy she is frothing milk. Paige spends the entire time interrupting her to go "no! No! No! No!"
  • They look at buttons and rivets and embossed leather patches for the back, and then sweatpants leg panel samples. Baloo hangs out with them and Paige tells him he's stinky. She eats toast.
    • WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANY OF THIS. She's not DESIGNING anything, she's just doing that thing like, you know when you're choosing your racer in Mario Kart and there are a couple hundred variations of wheels and chassis and you just choose the unique combos you want to put together? She's doing that but with generic clothing. I've been jokingly referring to her stuff as "elevated Zazzle" but this isn't even Zazzle because Zazzle you UPLOAD ACTUAL ARTWORK TO. Why is she re-inventing the wheel? What improvements does she think she's making TO A PROVERBIAL WHEEL.
• Not sponsored showing off gifting time! It's not in focus at all so we can't really see any of the products (professional!). One of the products she mentions is that she's friends with CYNTHIA ROWLEY'S DAUGHTER who has nepo baby'd her way into dropping oven mitts and aprons that look like Strawberry Shortcake's rejects. Like they're cute, but they're again little strawberries on white. Like tell me none of you silver spoon-ass bitches cook without telling me by making WHITE OVEN MITTS. Those will turn yellowish and burnt after, what a single batch of brownies? Taking a piece of toast out?
  • This haul includes her tennis Tommy bag. Not sure how she got it since she brags about it being "sold out everywhere even Poshmark and depop"
  • There is sooooooo much of this free bullshit. How does she even get this much free bullshit. Why do companies waste so much money sending this to people like Paige who don't fucking care and openly give it away. What is the point of an influencer. IDK at this point I'm spiraling, this vlog is like a third of the way through and nothing has happened.
• Paige unpacks with Nance. She has so many clothes and I don't think she's worn any of them. Full disclosure that this was the point I actually got annoyed and had to take a break and play some video games for fifteen minutes because while growing up comfortably or on the upper end of middle class in a generational wealth type of town has taught me a lot of patience for people with too much money, there is at some point a limit to how conspicuous over-consumption and waste I can handle, and that point for me came when I saw how many sweaters Paige has that look like they've never been worn. And the on top of this she has a giant suitcase of stuff she's going to depop! The environment? Never heard of her.
• Paige is going to get groceries. She's needed Nance's help to do all the hard stuff she's had to do today like going grocery shopping and having soooo many clothes. She goes to Trader Joe's, then goes to a horse shop and of course buys MORE SHIT SHE DOESN'T NEED. I'm not condoning what the French did when they invented the guillotine, like that was really violent and horrible, but the point is that the longer I watch this vlog the more I'm understanding their motivations.
• Paige goes on a sunset ride with her friend Lauren, this song plays in the background as a flagrant copyright violation, I realize at this point that there's no way this video is going to stay up without Youtube copyright striking it so I have to be extra detailed for posterity and we still have so much to go and this is going to take forever. Louie's back still looks horrible and as someone with inherited lordosis, I feel for him.
• Tommy facetime! He says exactly one sentence and catches a tiny fish, for those of you keeping track on your Bingo cards.
• Nance is still over Paige's house when Paige gets back because she never leaves. Paige is wearing old Dairy Boy sweats. At this point when I scrolled down to press the play button again I realized that Nance has posted a comment about how proud she is of Paige within seconds of the video being uploaded. I live with my mother and sometimes I still need her help on stuff like yelling at health insurance until they cover stuff for me and even I am confused by how codependent their relationship is. Like doesn't Nance have her own house? A husband? Other children? Paige has spent this entire vlog needing Nance's help to do everything from grocery shopping to folding laundry and acting like a teenager. It's a rich text for a therapist to one day unpack.
  • It's Taco Monday, this is just a dumb and boring version of Paige performing the white people taco night song. Also bewildering, Paige seemingly DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE TACO STUFF. It involves almost no cooking! She even bought the spices pre-packaged! She needs Nance's help on this too!
  • Undisclosed new cooking knife brand product placement. They are amazed that it............slices.
    • OH NO SHE SAYS SLAYING WITH BOOTS AGAIN ABOUT THE KNIFE END THIS MISERY
  • Ahahhahah the reason they're so impressed is because they've apparently been cooking with unsharpened knives. Like Paige didn't know you could sharpen knives. A master chef, ladies and gentlemen!
• Oh god we're only halfway through. Paige wakes up the next morning. She got so freckly yesterday (read: she's courting melanoma and is going to age like a raisin). She's going to go play tennis at a club in Greenwich her parents are members at (Note, she shows the logo which means you can spend five seconds googling to discover it's this club. Membership is invite only and it's gauche apparently to discuss how much membership costs, but the estimate is EIGHTY GRAND A YEAR. To be clear, that is nearly THREE TIMES the average American household income. Paige is the child of people who spend more in one year to play tennis a few times a week than most people do getting fucking doctorates, which clears up a few things for me: one, I've never gotten those texts where she casually demands Morgan Wallen pay her back tens of thousands of dollars like it's $50, but I guess to her it is like $50, and two, why everything about Paige and how she acts towards people and money in this video is a million times more effective at radicalizing people on economic policy than anything Bernie Sanders has ever lain awake at night dreaming of.
  • Camera going in and out of focus during this explanation.
  • Ah she's doing it with her mom. Again. Heaven forbid Paige breathe without Nance.
  • Oh also she has to shoot an ad in the tennis dress, but she definitely likes and would go to play tennis anyway.
• More unboxing undisclosed adver- I mean PR.
  • I'm so serious, tthe flagrant wealth being thrown around in this video and the amount of free stuff a trust fund baby with absolutely no merits or skills whatsoever is getting because she has 300K followers on Instagram that she probably bought half of is like the best argument for socialism I have ever seen.
• .Paige gets dressed in the third outfit of the day to go to the dentist. The pants are pointedly too big on her so they don't stay up in the waist and create this weird enormous kangaroo pouch around her crotch. She pairs that with a toddler sized medium t-shirt for a football team she's probably never heard of, a choker that looks like something a boy band member in the early 2000's would wear but out of fake pearls, and cowboy boots. It's... the look sure is looking, let's just say that.
• Paige opines on how much she prefers to do vlogs at home, but don't worry, she won't stop doing travel vlogs for us! (Oh thank goodness, where would we be without the insights we get from them.) She feels like they add variety to her channel (what, no, we LOVE coming with you to the barn to watch you ride without a helmet over unsourced music! five times a vlog!). Sometimes she feels like there's this pressure to show us as much as she can, which explains why all we see in her travel vlogs is hotel room bathrooms, tennis matches, and the tops of various tabletops in restaurants. Anyway she feels like there's pressure because in reality she's there for Tommy. Which we KNOW, that's the entire PROBLEM, Paige. If you were HONEST about the fact that being a WAG on tour sucks and you don't get to actually see the places you're pretending to really go and immerse yourself in, we WOULD HAVE FEWER COMPLAINTS AND YOU'D FEEL LESS ANXIETY, the problem is that you have to keep compulsively lying about how cultured you are and how you really ~got a feel~ for the location. Just stop lying!!! Stop!!! Lying!!! Challenge!!!!! The anxiety you feel and the reason you have to monitor this subreddit comes from your CONSTANT LYING.
  • Ugh she would NEVER have gone to ROME if it weren't for Tommy. I think this is a ploy for authenticity but boy is it coming across as privileged.
    • I do think in her own Paige way though this entire monologue she has is about something I've noticed her talking around a lot - I think she's afraid if she stops travelling and being a WAG no one will care about her. I think she's terrified of doing what makes her happy, which is being home, hanging out with her mom, riding her horses, and spending her parents' money. But if she just let herself do the things she actually liked and stopped trying to always pretend to be cooler and more interesting than she is, no one would keep paying attention to her, because it's not like she has a sparkling personality or wit or unique point of view. Like I'm an interesting person to talk to, but if I tried to make a vlog of my life it would be pretty boring. I work a 9-5 M-F job and the most interesting part of my life is when I go to a concert or craft fair on the weekend or one of my neighbors goes out of town and I watch their cat. It's not riveting, but I also don't need to be doing fascinating things in order to be or feel like an interesting person. But people like Paige who need to always be travelling and going to events and flaunting how busy they are are often really sad and empty people. They're not doing any of the little mundane things that make people happy and spending time connecting with the people around them, they're just always moving around because they're afraid if they stop for five seconds, people will see that the only thing they have going for them is all that movement and travelling. I think Paige is constantly torn between the anxiety that comes with constant travel and isolation and putting herself on display and removing herself from the things that bring her a sense of calm and security, and the anxiety that if she allows herself to feel calm and secure, she'll lose the attention she craves. IDK seems like a thing she shouldn't keep indirectly admitting to in vlogs, seems to kind of undercut half of her material, but what do I know.
  • Also she really is going to positively contribute to Tommy and his life and career, ie: she needs to go home and feels comforted by home because that's where her mom and Amanda wait on her hand and foot and everything is about her, which she misses when she's with Tommy because when she's on tour with Tommy she has to accept that he's the center of attention and she's not.
  • Her home vlogs have been performing the best, like, significantly. Since she probably buys views and comments, this just means she likes them better and therefore buys more engagement for them.
  • Apparently her analytics are telling her that 30% of her views are coming from the "explore" feature, which she says is YouTube rewarding her for being consistent, and, uh. No. Not how that works.
    • I mean yes if you buy engagement it will put you in the algorithm more, but this is the time in the video where she accidentally self-owns. If you're an actual channel getting actual views from people who actually enjoy watching you, then VERY LITTLE of your viewership should be coming from the "explore" feature, MOST of it should be coming from subscribers or regular viewers or people who watch similar content. That's how the majority of people watch YouTube or find new videos to watch. But if fully a third of your viewers are coming from what's essentially a randomizer button, that pretty much confirms Paige is buying views and/or that a lot of viewers leave after a minute or two. Because if her content was good on its own, people would see it and subscribe, and then she wouldn't need to rely on the "explore" feature. But if she, as she says, is consistently getting a third of her viewership from that feature, than that means that a third of people are just randomly watching whatever YouTube puts in front of them and not engaging with her at all, meaning the ONLY POSSIBLE explanation is that she's essentially buying enough engagement to keep appearing on the explore page, but buying the opportunity to be put in front of people isn't actually getting her a larger audience because what she's serving them is a warmed-over turd.
  • Anyway Paige is counting on you not knowing the extreme basics and trusting that she "knows someone who used to work at YouTube who told her that's how the algorithm works"
    • Um if you don't know about social media - no one who works at YouTube or any social media company knows how their algorithm works unless they're the ones writing it, and if they do know, they're not going to tell you because that's extremely valuable, proprietary information and also there's like a lot of papers and NDAs and non-competes they'd be breaking if they did. They're telling you to upload consistently because it's good FOR THE MEDIA COMPANY. The company is trading in being a content hub, so they need people to consistently be uploading content, ie: raising the value of their site in a way they don't have to pay for. That's the entire business model of every. Single. Digital media platform. Heck, that's how most dating apps work too. The product is data. They want you to be giving them free product.
  • "I don't know, like I don't like doing things just for social media anymore?" HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
    • And a week later you spent a weekend attending influencer parties in the Hamptons for....... what exactly. The scintillating conversation?????
    • She's very quick to say that's not the case if she has to shoot an ad! Loves shooting ads! Please keep sending her free stuff!
    • God this is taking me multiple hours but at this point I've sunk too much time in and also am convinced this won't stay up for copyright issues, so I'm taking a break to like, stretch and clean the bathroom, anything to get me moving and listening to my own thoughts which are in complete sentences.
• I'm back after cleaning the bathroom. I've been at this so long that my sibling has shown up. But I only have ten minutes to go and I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. This whole completely unhinged and unintentionally revealing rant has approximately a trillion uses of the word "like" is from 21:00 to 26:00 and if you want to watch it you can. I probably should have transcribed it for a full AP Lit level analysis, but I'm tired. If we're lucky, when Paige tries to re-upload this with copyright-free music, she'll have kept that in there.
• Paige ordered a shed! She's so excited!
• The fence looks mildly less jacked up when they go back. Paige is brushing Louie constantly in this video. Fourth time I think we've seen her do this. I feel like there's a lot more to horse care than brushing them and she only shows us this part because it looks aesthetic and she doesn't do any of the actual hard or necessary parts like shoveling horse shit, but what do I know.
  • This sequence uses unsourced but definitely copyright song number three!
  • Fun fact: Paige is the same fake brown color as Louie's dappled neck. Aw, you know how pets eventually look like their owners? Cute.
  • Shout out to Paige's friend (perhaps Amanda? Olivia? Can't keep the preppy brunettes straight anymore) who actually wears a helmet riding.
• Next day, we open with a bit of this song (not sourced, copyright infringement number four, possibly more that at this point I no longer notice tbh). Paige puts on boots to go to the new shed and realizes the vlog is going to be so long because she's never done a whole week at a time before. Because I've made it this far, I'm the best. (Aw.)
  • Paige calls Tommy to wish him happy birthday and films it, which seems... odd. Especially since she doesn't film it in a way where he can see she's filming.
  • Paige gets tea for breakfast (nutritious) and a coffee for the guy at the barn we must have seen earlier. His name is Aaron. I could do some google sleuthing and find him probably, but I don't care. Paige met him going on trail rides at her old barn. Do middle aged men usually hang out at barns doing trail rides? Just scoping out young idiots with disposable income? The whole thing seems sus. Apparently he has like seven kids.
  • Paige never realized how expensive pre-made sheds were, but it's a local business that makes it by hand! I assume the local business is called Costco And Sons.
  • More uncredited The Shins plays as Paige only loads the shed with blankets and nothing heavy or unpicturesque.
  • Another Tractor Supply run, at this point they're who really should be sponsoring Paige
  • Paige goes to say goodbye to Louie and he HIDES FROM HER IN THE WOODS
    • Girl.
    • Oh my god no wonder he's mad at her, they've been staying somewhere WITHOUT A STRUCTURE. He's been sleeping OUTSIDE. It got into the 40's every night in New England last week!!!
• Out of focus Paige talking about how she had suuuuuch a long day "running errands". Olivia didn't get to join Paige on her little horse girl excursions because she had to be at the warehouse and onboarding a new DB employee. Anyway Paloma is in town now
  • Paige learns that apparently you're supposed to be washing veggies as she prepares things to grill. PAIGE HAS BEEN COOKING THIS WHOLE TIME NOT WASHING VEGGIES. I.......... I am going to need to be sedated after this.
• Paige exfoliates and puts on a definitely not sponsored face mask
  • She's wearing skiing pajamas. In case we forgot she was a skier. Did you know she was a skier????
    • PSYCH, these are from previous ads with PJ Place but actually she really likes these and this one ISN'T an ad she just loves the product so much
• Paige is doing her makeup! We're at the end stretch! I'm almost there!
  • She took a day off of vlogging to go see her grandparents, but immediately segues into her Ulta trip. Because of her stupid grandparents, she didn't get to go to the barn, frankly how can she survive in these conditions.
  • Dairy Boy phone case plug! She was soooo specific about what she likes in phone cases and definitely didn't just choose between Zazzle, Redbubble, or (insert other brand here)
    • It's a shitty thin cover that looks like it protects your phone from approximately nothing and should cost $10 but I estimate she'll sell it for at least $40
    • Of course because Paige was so super particular about the details and business-minded when it comes to quality it took a long time to make........phone cases.......
  • Tommy calls and says hi
  • Paige rambles about her day and makes coffee. Tommy sent her peonies because he's "so cute". We see the phone cases and they're weird and ugly. More "gifting" (undisclosed advertising) that came in the mail
• Paige makes pickled red onions, every time she does it she changes the recipe a little bit even though she totally has a recipe and isn't googling. She starts pickling carrots which she says are going to "go bad soon" (that takes like six months, how do carrots even go bad?) She also does it in a water glass which, good luck ever drinking from that again without it tasting like vinegar.
• And then with no warning, it cuts off. That took me three and a half hours. It's been a journey and I hate it. If there is ever a vlog this long, I'm doing it in segments across multiple days because I'm exhausted by this much wealth and inanity. Time to go touch grass, start dinner, wash my vegetables before I do so. You know. The little things.

24 male, 6’1 190 lbs. Diagnosed with Glaucoma and major depressive disorder. Hourly marijuana user. Rarely (but occasionally) use other drugs. Hourly nicotine use. Rarely exercise and subpar diet.
So I recently had some issues with my testicles and cremaster muscles spasming. I also have kind of a burning/numb feeling that shoots down my legs occasionally. I went to a doctor and he said that everything looked okay anatomically down there, but with the symptoms I was having, he ordered a neurology study. Cut to 2 weeks later the neurologists office never called me to set an appointment, and my spasms went away for the most part, so I didnt really follow up super thoroughly to get an appointment. But now I have been having trouble getting all of my urine out in one go. Ill get the majority out it seems, but then I sit back down and I can feel more in the “on deck” position in the batting order, basically loaded up in my urethra, and its usually 4 or 5 more trips before everything is out. Its really freaking me out because I’m not even 25 and my penis is not working properly. Wondering if I should try to track down a neurologist or what to do.

Just sitting in my room and was thinking about the past, you know like rerunning things in my head wondering what I could’ve done differently. This is probably something I should talk about with my GF but she still wants me to do things I’m not ready for (opening up wise) and sometimes she says things that trigger me on a bone deep level.
Anyway, I feel bad for my little brother and I know my older brothers want me to forgive our mother but I just HATE her. My little brother was born more athletic than me, I’m jealous of that but he’s still my younger brother. He’s arrogant, childish, and emotional or at least he was. I should probably talk to him more. Anyway I was watching a news video (that one about all those Texas high school students failing to graduate) and it got me thinking back to when he was in high school and how often he failed his classes.
Part of the reason I hate her is because she never really tried to get him to succeed. It was unconditional love, something me and my brothers never really got, but also neglect. He’d stay at his friends’ houses dang near every night of the week and go into depressive episodes. He tried to kill himself once that I know of, at a friends house, and I was called about it but I was at work so I didn’t answer. I was told he tried to down pills but ended up being fine so I didn’t react. No panic, no worry, no relief, just nothing.
As for my mother she was the same as normal, she still didn’t push him for better grades or check in with the school more. I went to one of his teachers only once myself, so I suppose I’m not much better, but I think that’s better than nothing. He kept failing, kept not coming home, and I guess I stopped caring. Looking back I suppose I did look like a bully to him, I was harsh and always talking down to him about failing instead of helping him like I should have. I should’ve tried asking him what homework he had and what else he needed. But he was taller than me, acted old enough to be a year younger, and always had stuff to do so I saw him as a rival. I blame myself for not being better, well at least when I’m actually thinking about it.
Going back again, my brothers have gotten on my back for not talking with my mother. They’ve apparently been throwing her in and out of mental hospitals, and my older brother (the one in jail) is usually the one to tell me. They say they know why I don’t like her but somehow I’m the only one to actually hold a grudge. I think it’s because they need her. My little brother is using her car, my older brothers ask her to babysit, give them money, and off and on a place to sleep. I think I just don’t NEED her so I don’t want her, thinking about her makes me angry. I know my father was abusive to her but I was too young to remember that, so all I know of her is that she was physically and emotionally abusive to me, never letting me forget I was HIS son, bullying me for being fat, and treating me like gold only when she wanted to look good.
All I remember of my father is the fact that he’s always been civil with me. I don’t love him, certainly don’t respect him, but I can’t say I distain him or have bad memories of him. He’s just someone who exists that I know is bad.
In terms of my girlfriend, I love her but it’s not intense. It never is or was, not for any big length of time. I think it’s because my other relationships were terrible, just highs and lows:

• The “first” made me feel wanted then I found out she was cheating, she had claimed it was assault 2 weeks prior but I never truly trusted her (but I wanted to be happy so I lived in denial).
• The “second” was here for me. She lived in my house, slept in my bed, made me think of my future and how to be better. She was “polyamorous” though so I knew I could never truly have her but I had hope, then she started accusing me of helping the apartment management team evict her (it was a long running accusation but I always waved her off) and told me she felt assaulted by me while we were in bed at night which just doubled down on the pain. I begged her to come back and try to fix things but she jerked my chain for months (saying stay away and then texting me with questions, like why didn’t you be better to your brother, only to hate me again, rinse and repeat.). Last I heard from her was months ago when she told me “One Piece is awesome” (words I haven’t been able to delete). She knows I love the show, that I look at it with the limited childlike wonder I have left, and she never watched it. So those words, sometimes make me want to go back and spend my nights in bed with her again. Anyway my current girlfriend is just someone I love. It’s like knowledge, like a fact to me, so I don’t need to feel intensity. I trust her, I love her, I respect her and sometimes what she says bothers me but I don’t have any urge to just up and leave. I think she thinks our relationship is only about sex to me, but now that I’m writing this out I think she senses on some intrinsic level that my passion simply flairs during sex. I want her to know that I care and can feel her and trust her but I don’t feel comfortable pushing back, I’m scared that I’ll blurt out a wrong word or aggressive tone or harsh combination of sentences instead of just calmly communicating my feelings. And that fear makes me feel insecure, and I’ve convinced myself women want me when I’m secure and loose as opposed to panicking and thinking. I feel like I’m most loved when I don’t talk, I think I’m a comforting invisible presence (sort of safety) but an annoying flurry back to reality. My girlfriend looked at me last night, when her grandma called, with something like disbelief. Her grandmother was concerned about us walking alone at night and I said “I’ll protect her”, because we were on speaker, and she gave me that look. It made me angry that she doesn’t believe I can protect her from harm. I want to say sometimes “If you don’t think I can protect you then go and find someone who can.” but I know that’s just me overreacting to a perceived slight. It’s just that she’s shown this belief multiple times now and I want to say something, I just wish I knew how to talk calmly and describe what I’m feeling.

I also want to be stronger. I want to fight harder, and be able to show her I’m capable enough for her. I wish I could make her believe in me but I think the only way to convince her is to actually fight. It makes me feel sort of depressed, like as if I’m being baited into violence by pride but I see no other solution because I don’t think I can keep her if she sees me as weak. I love her to death but it infuriates me that I can’t be better, and I’m afraid she’ll ditch me the second a whim comes.
Anyway that’s how I’m feeling. Stupid, angry, regretful, confused, like as if there’s more to do but I’m stuck in one spot unable to move. Like all my feelings drain when I’m alone enough for the apathy to set in. I wonder if I’m supposed to feel different.

31YO F trying to see if anyone has been through this. here's a breakdown w the timeline: 2020 lockdown: did NOOM, counted calories, HITT workouts regular= lost 16 pounds, felt amazing but I was so strict it was getting obsessive early 2021: back to work, lost that drive & gained only a few lb back november 2021: off nuvaring birth control for the first time in 5 years after discovering it was causing my GI issues & daily headaches. realized I gained weight post-birth control- not too much periods irregular for 6 months, took my first pregnancy test bc I was so late (negative) periods are TERRIBLE 2022: new GYNO, internal ultrasound & bloodwork- all normal. periods are just really bad. still not on birth control october 2022: started Lexapro, 5 mg daily after I went in for an ADHD eval but the psychiatrist wanted me to get treatment for OCD, PTSD & Anxiety first by March 2023: had 3 panic attacks due to weight gain & no clothes fitting (1 was in a dressing room) realized I had gained 30 pounds since 2020. 15 since starting lexapro decided to tell the psychiatrist I wanted off of it, weened off of it just fine I have been watching my food & going to the gym 3 times a week since february with NO change may 2023: due to my issues w lexapro, doc suggested buspirone 15 mg took 1/2 in the morning, felt high...thought it was just the initial taking took 1/2 evening, high again. disoriented, like my eyes wouldn't focus took 1/2 in the morning day 2, finally called doc to tell my experience I was told "This isn't buspirone side effects so go to a doctor now" ((but reddit users also had this same experience so....) i was NOT happy w that response so i quit that doc & stopped taking the med- i've been fine ever sense I am currently on nothing, noticing my anxiety more & more- had a few freak outs last week I had a bad day at the gym, super lethargic & couldn't finish my workout- had a full on panic attack, almost hyperventilated I am sitting at almost 170 pounds, my cholesterol has been high for years. I had blood work done in November (hormone panel, thyroid, etc) but nothing comes up except slightly high cholesterol (117 H). vitamin d & b12 levels are low- I take vitamins to help that. frustrated because i FEEL like something is 'wrong'- I am lethargic every day, I am super sensitive to heat (it's getting 80+ outside & I can't deal), even if i get 8 hours of sleep I am tired, I feel sluggish, I have no drive, weight is still piling on even though I am working out & eating well. I am happy, great home life, not depressed. anyone experience this? I've never "wanted" something to be wrong with me before now. I am waiting to get back into my PCP to discuss more. i'd love to just feel good. or feel OK. 6 out of 7 days a week I feel like ick. anyone?

CONTINUOUS IHRN "Irregular Heart Rhythm Notification" Is now Approved by the FDA on GW in the US
Looks like this feature will be available "soon, sometime in 2023". Not very informative when it will be available though, so any clues about when this will be?
Here's an article about it, then I have a few questions: Samsung receives FDA approval for IHRN feature in Galaxy Watch IHRN, along with Samsung Health Monitor app’s on-demand ECG function, monitors heart rhythms indicative of AFib. https://www.medicaldevice-network.com/news/samsung-fda-ihrn-galaxy/
I'm looking at getting a GW5p at some point, but it is not easy trying to envision what this GW watch really is, how it works, what it looks like, what the APP looks like (and the name of the APP with a LINk). Are the Health APPS all Samsung, or other third parties' APPS? Are they paid, subscription, or??
This is my guess of how it WILL work: The IHRN is running all the time, monitoring for any problems, and it will alert you IRT, when this occurs. At this point, it ASKS you to TAKE a ECG:

1. Where can I see these ECG scans (of others / samples)?
2. Can you post a JPG here of what they look like? Multiple examples with and without problems would be most helpful.
3. How many of these can you store on the watch?
4. Can you sync these to your phone automatically?
5. Can you set ECGs so it prompts you to take a ECG at a specified time? Holter monitors for BP for instance, take readings about every 15 minutes, so it would still be useful at these intervals.
6. How similar is the graph that shows on many SO2 finger meters of the waveform, showing the level of BP or flow, over about the last 10 seconds? When missing or a weak beat, it is pretty obvious. Does this watch record something similar?
7. Is there a means of charging the watch while you are wearing it? If not, that would sure be handy. When I use my tablets for heavy / long use, I don't have a problem plugging them in while using. While sitting there, why can't I also charge the GW at the same time?? Charging times are very inconvenient, but only if you must schedule non-use of your GW, taking it off and back on, etc. Attaching a dongle or cable would not be a burden, since at any time, I could simply get up and instantly disconnect / reconnect when I return.

I Think the idea of paying subscription fees of any kind is going to change more and more into free / bundled / supported by original purchase. For instance, my BMW has had seat heat for the past 20 years--included when I bought it. How much would I have paid out in that time? Since in Florida, I've used it for a total of 20 times, how much would that have been per use, and would I have signed up at that cost? Seems like I'd feel ripped off and buy anything but a BMW. i.e., eventually subscriptions will be more costly to those that try to impose them unfairly. I'd just conclude BMW's goal is to nickel and dime me whenever they can. Instead, mime came with a 50k mile full warranty. Maybe that's why I shudder to consider buying anything Apple, even when "superior".

It seems like keyboard shortcuts in Linux only work one way: press a number of keys at the same time. That doesn't work for me as well as it could. I've found some "solutions" that are not real solutions: xbindkeys and xdotool. As far as I can tell, neither one works with anything other than a combination of keys that need to be pressed at the same time. I'm looking for two possible behaviors: 1) a sequence of keystrokes (press 1 and release, press 2 and release, press 3 and release, etc.) or 2) hold a modifier key and enter a sequence of keys (Hold Ctrl down, press 1 and release, press 2 and release, press 3 and release, release Ctrl). Is this possible to achieve at all? Does it require a specific DE or window manager?

Just looking for good old fashion wholesome romance. Someone I can talk to for hours, fall asleep on voice with, maybe play games and watch movies with. Spend time together you know.
So about me, I work as a diesel mechanic, go to the gym 4 times a week. 6'1, I game, I watch movies, I can cook. I know 2 languages and I'm a huge nerd... also have tats.
My goal is to pretty much travel all over the world with sometime special. Historical places are my jam but I love beautiful places too.
Love horror, comedy, action and suspense. Honestly prefer horror but I know it's not everyone's thing. Zombies are the best monsters change my kind. 1982's The Thing is my favorite movie of all time... which has nothing to do with zombies lol. Ghost and demonic movies give me the heebie jeebies.
One on one relationship. No Poly or married

Hi to everyone, I have a problem with my 2 years old pc. Since the last week my PC started doing weird things like not booting windows, not even the phericals like mouse, keyboard etc. My screen was just black even if the pc was running. After pressing the power button (not by doing a long press but a quick click on the power button) my pc would instatly shut down, which is weird, but after pressing the power button again to turn it on, everything goes back to normal. Which is the problem? The problem is now the PC starts fine, but when I start playing games the screen goes black, but just only the screen even if the pc still running and phericals too (If i have music, I can hear the music still going but screen goes black). Right now it does that only when I start playing games for about 6 minutes or so. One thing I noticed though is a RED led near the led of the power button (I think the HDD led) it should blink red and it would be normal right? Mine does not blink but when the screen goes black, the RED Led turn on and never blink, just a continous RED LED. This happened right now too and when I was trying to figure out which was causing the problem, I heard some fans spinning like crazy but Im not sure if it is related to my issue. I hope you can help me, and I would love someone to say at least what's going on.
My pc components are:
MOBO: Gigabyte B450M S2H
Graphic Card: Zotac 1050 Ti
Processor: Ryzen 5 2600
Ram: Crucial Ballistix 16 GB 3200 MHz
PSU: beQuiet 550W
SSD: Solid Power 250GB (Which I think this is causing the problem for differents factors like:

1. Not a famous brand of SSD like Samsung for example and with that I assume the quality after 2 years of work it's reduced
   
2. When I bought and set the SSD, I put it in a bad spot where it doesn't have much space to "breath". It's a solid disk, not an NVME SSD.)
   

Thanks to everyone for your help.

We purchased our home in 2011 for $250k on the outskirts of the most desirable area in our city. Those limits have pushed into ours and, for example, about 25 homes within 3 blocks of us have been torn down with $900k-1.2m built in place of them. Many others have been full renovated.
We are on 2.5 lots in this area and if we sold, it’s possible it would be torn down and 3 homes built in place (we’ve seen it happen). We’d expect between $750-850k if we sold. We owe around $180k at 4.1%.
We love the area but our home was built in 1950 and while it’s had moderate upgrades over time and is definitely “okay” inside- the property in general needs work:

• spare bathroom & laundry needs complete rework
• roof needs replacement
• unused recreation room needs purposing
• upstairs loft needs repurposing (isn’t connected to central HVAC)
• property drainage needs addressed
• major landscaping needed (tree removal, grading, irrigation, sod, etc)
• master bathroom needs major update
• plumbing drainage needs attention

In terms of “wants”, my wife wants a pool whether we build it or we move. I want a 30x30 shop.
We are thinking $200-250k to handle all of the above. That puts us in debt around $450k if we refi or do a home equity loan.
Problem is right now all the homes for sale within 30 minutes of us are just not worth it. The homes for $650-700k with a pool aren’t appealing at all and need work themselves.
My dilemma:
Option 1. Do I burn up equity and make this property fit us better long term while dealing with likely long renovation time and still leaving equity in the home?
Option 2. Or do we sell and liquidate all of the equity while buying a home with pool for $650k that needs some love and we use the equity for the DP and slower improvements? This comes with headache of moving and a much higher mortgage payment.
Option 3. Become a landlord and rent our current home but do a refi first to pull out half of the equity for home #2.

I’d say it’s worth it, from great jump scares to a good variety of enemies and situations all from a early access that preforms better then a lot of triple AAA games. I’d say if you have friends to play with you’ll get the best out of it but if not there is a group finder that also works to get you in with some other players.
If you want a perspective on this game from my POV I have a video here I made, it does show some items and enemies so if you’d rather keep it a surprise then id say just jump in, play it for 2 hours and refund it if you don’t like it
https://youtu.be/Wsatte649qM

So I was at the extreme end of awful with a SAD diet. Every day I'd eat ultra-processed meals with Kong sized candy bars throughout the day. After a lot of research, mental work, and just feeling awful about myself, I dove in.
For the past month I've been 100 percent wfpb. I have not counted calories because that's always a big plus--eat what you want so long as it's wfpb. I was someone who ate for pleasure before, and so it was hard, but I managed. My daily diet was pretty consistent because I didn't want to obsess about food too much. I'd have 2 green smoothies per day (packed with spinach and kale that I was going through like crazy, topped with a banana and some frozen mango, water to fill), a Japanese sweet potato, tofu with kimchi (cooked in non-stick pan) and I'd snack on pecans throughout the day (which I stopped doing over the past week since I wasn't seing results.)
Well I was excited at the beginning, realizing how vastly healthier my diet was, how itd feel so good to stop poisoning myself with loads of processed junk. But then that excitement waned when by the 2 week mark my clothes were just as tight as day 1. I weighed myself, and hasn't budged a single pound (BMI is overweight, I'm carrying about 20 extra pounds). I told myself to give it time. Well now I'm at 1 month, and I've actually gained a pound. I honestly can't believe it. It's muscle, it's not a faulty scale. I LOOK the same, zero change.
I'm sure people are going to roast me and say give it time, be patient, but honestly it's taken all of my drive away. I've given up opportunities to eat junk with friends and family because I was pushing to make healthy choices, but it has so far been for nothing. I didn't want to count calories, especially since the wfpb docs say it's not necessary, but I guess I'll have to start? I wish I could say I feel better regardless, but I really don't feel all that different. Still bloated, still uncomfortable, just now without sweets and fast food to give me that dopamine hit to make it better.
I searched this sub, and literally every weight loss post raves about how much they lost effortlessly since switching to wfpb and how quick it was. I feel like I don't even want to leave my bed I'm so depressed. Yes I have a therapist and a doctor so please don't recommend. I've done everything right, worked so hard, spent so much money on organic whole foods. To gain a pound and still feel like garbage.