Main hub thread with the full 131 rankings
Hawai’i nei. When I think of Hawaii football, I think of a rich state-wide sporting culture that manifests as 11 warriors flying around the football field. Hawaii’s had an up and down, but very proud, football history. Going 0-12 in 1998 to subsequent 9-4 and 3-9 records the following years might be a perfect microcosm of Rainbow Warrior football. For me, and I’m sure for a lot of other fans, the Colt Brennan Hawaii teams in ‘06 and ‘07 were some of the funnest teams to ever watch, and I look forward to watching games in the new Aloha Stadium once complete.

Best Seasons and Highlights

1. 2007: 15. Hawaii: 12-1 (25.050) 2. 2006: 22. Hawaii: 11-3 (21.485) 3. 1992: 17. Hawaii: 11-2 (18.606) 4. 2001: 24. Hawaii: 9-3 (14.040) 5. 1988: 27. Hawaii: 9-3 (11.296) 6. 2010: 31. Hawaii: 10-4 (10.660) 7. 1989: 28. Hawaii: 9-3-1 (9.147) 8. 2002: 39. Hawaii: 10-4 (5.005) 9. 1984: 44. Hawaii: 7-4 (3.359) 10. 1999: 37. Hawaii: 9-4 (2.417) 11. 2019: 47. Hawaii: 10-5 (-0.233) 12. 2003: 52. Hawaii: 9-5 (-1.953) 13. 1990: 49. Hawaii: 7-5 (-3.354) 14. 1986: 50. Hawaii: 7-5 (-7.970) 15. 2004: 55. Hawaii: 8-5 (-8.607) 16. 2020: 67. Hawaii: 5-4 (-8.638) 17. 1983: 53. Hawaii: 5-5-1 (-9.570) 18. 1985: 55. Hawaii: 4-6-2 (-15.427) 19. 2008: 74. Hawaii: 7-7 (-16.873) 20. 2018: 88. Hawaii: 8-6 (-17.472) 21. 2016: 77. Hawaii: 7-7 (-18.955) 22. 2021: 86. Hawaii: 6-7 (-20.577) 23. 2011: 85. Hawaii: 6-7 (-22.783) 24. 1987: 74. Hawaii: 5-7 (-22.914) 25. 1993: 74. Hawaii: 6-6 (-22.975) 26. 2009: 84. Hawaii: 6-7 (-23.430) 27. 2005: 85. Hawaii: 5-7 (-23.848) 28. 1991: 72. Hawaii: 4-7-1 (-24.411) 29. 1994: 83. Hawaii: 3-8-1 (-29.734) 30. 1995: 93. Hawaii: 4-8 (-39.548) 31. 2014: 109. Hawaii: 4-9 (-40.176) 32. 1997: 99. Hawaii: 3-9 (-44.750) 33. 2000: 101. Hawaii: 3-9 (-45.638) 34. 2017: 119. Hawaii: 3-9 (-50.210) 35. 2022: 125. Hawaii: 3-10 (-51.589) 36. 2012: 113. Hawaii: 3-9 (-52.216) 37. 2015: 121. Hawaii: 3-10 (-54.033) 38. 2013: 112. Hawaii: 1-11 (-56.308) 39. 1996: 105. Hawaii: 2-10 (-59.310) 40. 1998: 112. Hawaii: 0-12 (-76.256) Overall Score: 12366 (76th) 

• 244-253-6 record
• 4 conference titles
• 8-6 bowl record
• 0 consensus All-Americans
• 48 NFL players drafted

Hawaii’s 0 consensus All-Americans is surprising given the talent of some players that’ve come through the Aloha state. WR Greg Salas led the nation in receiving yards in 2010, catching 119 passes for 1889 yards and 14 TD, but still couldn’t get everyone to say “this guy’s an All-American.” Neither could WR Ashley Lelie, who was 2nd in 2001 with 1713 yards, and led the nation with 19 TD. Not to mention Colt Brennan and some of the other skill position players from those 2006/07 teams. Players aside, Hawaii’s had a healthy rate of winning seasons (20 seasons of .500 win % or better), conference titles (1 every 10 years), players drafted (over 1 a year), and has a winning bowl record, including a 6-4 record in Hawaii Bowls.

Top 5 Seasons

Worst Season: 1998 (0-12 overall, 0-8 WAC)
Hawaii STUNK. Coach Fred von Appen finished his 3 year tenure as head coach with a 5-31 record, with 1998 being Hawaii’s only ever winless season. #24 Arizona, whose coaching staff featured Hawaii coaching expats Dick Tomey, Rich Ellerson, and Bob Wagner, beat the Warriors 27-6 in the opener. It set the tone for the season, as Hawaii went winless while Arizona finished 12-1. After a loss to Utah, 0-20 and 0-28 losses to Arkansas State and SMU put them at 0-4. The closest score the rest of the season season was just 10 points in a 20-30 loss to New Mexico. Worst losses included 13-30 to 3-8 UTEP, 17-45 to 4-8 San Jose State, 12-51 to 5-6 Fresno State, and 21-47 to 3-9 Northwestern. Overall, Hawaii ranked dead last in offense with 12.4 PPG while giving up 35.2 PPG against the 79th ranked Strength of Schedule. In 1999 new head coach June Jones would complete the biggest turnaround in NCAA history, winning 9 games.
This ranks as the 5th worst season ever, by any team, since 1983.
5. 1988 (9-3 overall, 5-3 WAC)
Now let’s take it back 10 years in the past, from 1998 → 1988. Hawaii was a better football team back then. 2x Super Bowl champion kicker Jason Elam, just a freshman at the time, nailed 47 and 23 yard FGs in the 4th quarter in a 27-24 upset of #9 Iowa. A week 6 matchup between 4-0 Hawaii and 4-1 UTEP would determine who’d be Wyoming’s biggest challenger for the WAC title, but UTEP won 42-25. Andy Reid was an OL coach for the Miners at the time. Hawaii did their best to keep pace in the conference, going 7-2 with close wins over San Diego State and the now defunct Long Beach State 49ers. A loss to #16 Wyoming ended any shot at a WAC title, but wins over Air Force and Oregon to end the year were sweet, with Hawaii finishing the year 2-0 against Power 5/6 teams (Iowa and Oregon). QB Warren Jones was one of the best players in the WAC, leading the conference in passer efficiency, throwing 2000+ yards with 19 TD 11 INT, and adding another 669 and 8 TD on the ground.
4. 2001 (9-3 overall, 5-3 WAC)
The 2001 senior class had had enough. From 0-12 in 1998 to 9-4 then 3-9, what the heck did 2001 have in store? Nobody knew. The season opener against FCS team Montana was anyone’s bet, as the Grizzlies were #2 in the FCS rankings. Hawaii won 30-12, but 2 straight one-possession losses had them fall to 1-2. That’s when QB Nick Rolovich and the offense took flight. 3 straight wins including a 66-7 pummeling of UTEP improved Hawaii to 4-2. Hosting David Carr and #18 Fresno State in a packed Aloha Stadium of 38,000, Rolovich threw a 20 yard TD pass with 13 seconds left to win the Golden Screwdriver 38-34. Splitting their next 2 games, Hawaii was 6-3 with 3 of their toughest games left, and Rolovich WENT NUCLEAR. He outdueled Ben Roethlisberger and 7-3 Miami (OH), throwing 7 TD passes in a 52-51 win. That was followed up by a 5 TD performance against Air Force, winning 52-30. And the best was saved for last. Hosting 12-0, #9 BYU, Rolovich had the performance of a lifetime, throwing 8(!!!) TD passes in a 72-45 shocker, blowing the doors off the Cougars in a sold out 50,000 seat Aloha Stadium. Chad Owens had a kick return TD and punt return TD, and set an NCAA record for return yards in a single game with 342. WR Ashley Lelie had a monstrous 8 catches for 262 yards and 2 TD.
But despite the 9-3 record, Hawaii wasn’t invited to a bowl game, which spawned the creation of the Hawaii Bowl in 2002. Rolovich ended the year with 3361 passing yards 34 TD 9 INT, 3rd in the nation in passing TDs.In his last 3 games, Rolovich had 20 passing TD with just 1 INT, arguably the best 3 game stretch by a player in Hawaii history. Ashley Lelie had 84 catches for 1713 yards and 19 TD, and was the 19th overall pick by the Denver Broncos in the 2002 NFL Draft. Backup QB Timmy Chang would go on to become the NCAA’s all time leading passer with 17,072 yards by 2004.
3. 1992 (11-2 overall, 6-2 WAC)
This isn’t the usual Hawaii team you’re used to. They ran the option. They were 2nd in the nation in rushing. The starting RB ran for more yards than the entire team passed for combined. It makes sense when you notice their 6th year offensive coordinator was Paul Johnson, future Navy and Georgia Tech head coach. The season opener featured a 24-21 win against Oregon in Autzen Stadium, following up with a 6-3 win over an Air Force team that finished 1991 in the top 25, and finishing the opening 3-week stretch with a 36-32 win over BYU, who was coming off 3 straight years of top 25 finishes. After a minor setback against Utah, Hawaii reeled off 4 straight wins to improve to 7-1 and be ranked #24, before losing to San Diego State and Marshall Faulk. Thanks to a 42-18 win over Wyoming, Hawaii clinched a share of the WAC title, sharing it with Fresno State and BYU, both of whom Hawaii beat. The regular season finished with a nice 36-23 win over Pitt, and then 27-17 over Illinois in the bowl. Hawaii finished with an 11-2 record, #20 ranking, and 3-0 record against Power 6 (7?) teams. RB Travis Sims set a Hawaii single season record with 1498 rushing yards, on a WAC-best 6.8 YPC.
2. 2006 (11-3 overall, 7-1 WAC)
And here we have the teams everyone knows about. The June Jones/Colt Brennan “throw it every down because you can’t stop us” offenses that turned kids like me into college football fans. A 1-2 start featured understandable losses at Alabama and at Boise State, who finished 13-0. Hawaii won 10 of their last 11, including a win over 8-5 Nevada, a 54-17 win over 9-4 San Jose State, three 50+ point wins over Idaho, Utah State, and Louisiana Tech, a 42-35 win over Purdue, and finally a 41-24 win over Arizona State in the Hawaii Bowl. Those wins, along with losses to Alabama away, a 10 win Oregon State, and an unbeaten Boise State, earned a #22 final ranking in my algorithm. In some ways, this team was better than their 2007 version that went 12-0.
Hawaii led the nation in scoring with 46.9 PPG, with the next closest team averaging just 39.7 (Boise State). There was a bigger difference between Hawaii and 2nd place than 2nd place and 12th place! QB Colt Brennan set an NCAA record for passing efficiency in a season and passing TDs in a season, completing 72.6% of passes for 5549 yards 58 TD and just 12 INT. Brennan finished 6th in Heisman voting and won the Sammy Baugh Trophy and WAC Offensive POTY. RB Nate Ilaoa was a 5’9 245 lb do-it-all freak of nature, rushing for 990 yards and 13 TD on 7.6(!) YPC, and caught 67 passes for 837 yards and 5 TD. For a 245 lb RB, he accumulated 1827 yards and 18 TD on 9.2 yards per touch! WR Davone Bess led with 1220 receiving yards, Jason Rivers was second with 1178, and Ryan-Grice Mullen (2nd in Hawaii career receiving TDs) added 770. All three had 10+ receiving TDs.
Hawaii had 17 punts all season, setting an FBS record for the least amount of punts per game with just 1.2. There were 5 games in which they didn’t punt a single time!
1. 2007 (12-1 overall, 8-0 WAC)
In 2007, a perfect storm of returning talent + easy schedule combined to help Hawaii complete one of the most magical regular seasons we’ve seen from a team. Hawaii went 12-0, with some games being too close for comfort (45-44 OT win over Louisiana Tech, 42-35 OT over San Jose State, 28-26 over Nevada), but ultimately ending with big wins over #17 Boise State and Washington. #14 Hawaii and #17 Boise State played late in the year for the outright WAC title, with Hawaii coming out on top 39-27, outgaining Boise by 200+ yards with 5 passing TD from Brennan. #10 Hawaii played #4 Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, but the Bulldogs played like the best team in the nation that night, winning 41-10.
Brennan was invited to New York as a Heisman finalist, finishing 3rd. He completed 70.4% of passes for 4343 yards 38 TD 17 INT, and ran for 8 TD. Brennan finished his career as the NCAA’s all time leader in passing TDs with 131, doing so in just 3 years. Hawaii’s esteemed WR trio went off, with Ryan Grice-Mullen snagging 106 balls for 1372 yards and 13 TD, Davone Bess getting 108 catches for 1266 yards and 12 TD, and Jason Rivers catching 92 passes for 1174 yards and 13 TD. All 3 finished as Hawaii’s top 3 all-time leading receivers: Rivers with 3919 yards, Bess with 3610, and Grice-Mullen with 3370. June Jones was named WAC Coach of the Year and was a finalist for the Eddie Robinson Coach of the Year award.
2007 Hawaii nearly missed out on finishing as a top 50 Group of 5 team since 1983 according to my algorithm, but is an honorable mention.

5th Quarter

Will we see the Braddahood return to 06/07 levels any time soon? What do you remember about Colt Brennan and those Hawaii teams? Where do you rank that 2007 Hawaii squad against all-time Group of 5 teams? They were dominant, but against the 11th weakest schedule in football that year. Do you think the ‘06 or ‘92 team was better than the ‘07 team? Who was the best Hawaii player outside of Brennan in the last 20-30 years? And finally, do you think Hawaii’s rank on this list is fair?
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Hello everybody,
I (female, 27) have been together with my boyfriend (male, 27) for 5 years now. We moved in together quite early in our relationship and everything was great until November of last year, when we decided to get a cat. I had been wanting to have a cat for a long time and in 2021 I asked him if we could get a one. He told me he was not really a cat/pet person in general and he didn’t think it was a good idea, since we both work full time. It made sense at the time so I accepted and never mentioned it again. Until August 2022, when HE suggested we should get one, as he knew it would make me really happy. I was over the moon and we got our kitty in October 2022. In December 2022 we got a 2nd kitty. Cats are very social animals and they are way happier if they are not alone. My boyfriend was not very sure about it, but I convinced him.
I looove them so much. Yes, they are a big responsibility, and yes, the do make a lot of work. But I don’t care, they’re a 100% worth it. I am the one who takes care of them, my boyfriend does not need to do anything. He had to feed them a couple times since I was away for work, but that’s it. A couple of months ago we had a big fight. We have been having some trust issues (I caught him lying a couple times, hence my trust issues) and the situation was really tense between us. During this fight he told me he did not feel comfortable anymore at home, because of the cats. He told me they make him nervous when they run and play (they’re kitties?), it bothers him that we have now a cat tree and that there are cat toys laying around the house,.. you get it. During this fight he also told me he wanted us to give the cats away. I stopped him and told him that I am not the kind of person, who gets pets to give them away later. My family and I have always have pets and our last dog was with us for 17 years, until she passed away. I love pets and I see them as a part of the family. Once they are there, they do not go anywhere. Since the day they I got them, they became my responsibility and I could never do that to them. I would never forgive myself. I told him we would find a solution and make it work.
Again, I am the one who takes care of them. I clean the cat toilet twice a day and always vacuum and dust everything once I get home from work. I keep the house clean. But cats are cats, you cannot control them like a dog. Don’t get me wrong, they are not bad behaved cats, they are really cuddly and they follow me everywhere…. But they are cats.
The situation between us was still tense because of the trust issues, but I thought that we were on good terms regarding the cats. A month ago we had another fight that had nothing to do with them, but he told me he could not live with them anymore and they had to leave. He says he can’t relax when he gets home from work because they are there. I remembered him I would not give the cats away. I also remembered him HE was the one who suggested getting one and I do not think he is being fair, he also knew how it was to live with cats (his parents had 3 when he lived with them).He told me he knew it was his idea and he regretted suggesting it.
I thought it could not get any worse, but then it did: he said “if I am being honest, I do not think I even want to have kids.” I froze and asked if he was being serious. For me, it was clear that we were on the same page about kids (my fault I guess). We had never have a serious conversation about it, but when we spoke about our future, I always mentioned kids and he never said he did not want any.
He said it was not a 100% NO to kids, but he could not imagine his life with kids right now. I told him I could not imagine my life with kids right now either (we are still young and are focussing on our careers), but that I am a 100% sure that I want to have kids in the future. I have always known I wanted to become a mom. I told him I did not want to pressure him but that I would really appreciate if he could be honest with me (and with himself) since this is kind of a deal breaker. I also told him I did not expect an answer vey soon, since it is a life changing decision, but in one year or two I would like to know for sure. We left it at that.
Today we had another conversation/fight. As I mentioned, the situation is tense between us, but we have been trying to make it work. Today he told me once again that the cats have to leave. I said they are not going anywhere. He said he couldn’t believe that they are more important to me than him. I told him it has nothing to do with it, but that they are not toys you can take or give away as you please. We went back and forth for a while. Then the topic children came up again. This time he told me he is pretty sure he does not want to have any. Not now, not in the future. I didn’t know what to say. He asked me if I was a 100% sure I do want kids, I said yes. I asked him what he expected me to do now? Give the cats away and then not have any pets ever again and not have kids either? He said yes. He asked if he is not enough to make me happy. I told him he makes me really happy but I have to be honest with him and with myself. And I know I would not be happy without kids. There was a lot of silence.
He’s gone with a friend now. I’m home thinking about everything we said. This is a deal breaker, right? I am starting to doubt myself. What if we go separate ways and I never meet anybody I want to have kids with? I do not know that to do and I am really scared. Is this the end? 3 months ago I was sure we would get married and have a family together. Last year I was waiting for a proposal!
I also live in a foreign country. I already lived here before we met, I didn’t come here because of him. But it makes it a 1000 times worse being away from my family and friends. I am really sorry if my English is not perfect. It is my third language. I am also really sorry because of how long this post is. I just needed to get it all out. Thank you so much if you find time enough to read it and give me your advice ❤️

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Hi all,
It's about that time again! For the fifth year in a row, here is my (unsolicited) overview of Roma's squad, current mercato, potential signings, and loan dealings.
Every year I try to give these a theme - last year, the name of the game was versatility: getting players who could cover multiple roles as we had a severely reduced squad due to FFP rules. We saw exactly how that came to bite us both in the league - where we were LITERALLY playing the kids to give the first teamers a break - and in the EL Final, where forced substitutions left us going into Penalties with no designated penalty takers.
With no expectation of squad reductions this season, the name of the game for this exercise is depth - our first team is good, VERY good even, but the question is "what options do we have on the bench or in rotation that can keep that level of quality?" and the answer this season due to injuries (Wijnaldum, Kumbulla), transfers and personal issues (Zaniolo, Karsdorp), or registration issues (Solbakken) has been categorically no. Simply put, it is not fair to put the weight of expectation on Benjamin Tahirovic (who is too young to purchase Alcohol in the United States) because our midfield of Matic and Cristante cannot play every game. Pair that with the long term injuries to Kumbulla and Abraham - both of whom will not be back until 2024 - and we need bodies, plain and simple.
Our current FFP situation also means that we will likely need to end this mercato in the black - which means relying on free transfers, loans, and spending money VERY judiciously.

Transfer Dealings Done

Now to our credit, we have gotten a head start on at least two players:
Houssam Aouar: Aouar is a gamble in my honest opinion. A few years ago, this man was the Robin to Nabil Fekir’s Batman, and while I don’t think either of those players has had the career they had hoped to have, on his day this man can be unplayable. Emphasis on the “on his day”. On good days, Aouar has Jordan Veretout’s work ethic, and Jeremy Menez’s feet. On bad days, he has Veretout’s feet and Menez’s work ethic.
On the positive though, he can play (like Pellegrini) both in the center midfield as an 8, or more attacking as a 10. This can give us options off the bench to either rotate or change a game as necessary.
Evan Ndicka: Now this one I’m very happy about. Ndicka is left footed, very physical, but very intelligent as well which means he has a good eye for a pass as needed. He reminds me quite a bit of Antonio Rudiger in that he fits a very similar profile and played for a Bundesliga club at a similar level. I have no reservations - I think he will be a hit, but like Aouar will benefit tremendously from a full pre-season.

Squad Breakdown

NOTE - I am not including loan players who have returned to their respective clubs (Wijnaldum, Camara, Llorente)
Goalkeepers
Pietro Boer - Let’s start with the easy one: Boer is a third choice keeper that is home-grown at club. Useful for registration, costs us peanuts, has never complained. Keep.
Rui Patricio - From the easy to the hard one: Rui’s decline this season has been sharp, but consistent. His great saves remind us that, once upon a time, that’s a solid goalkeeper, but that has been paired with just… odd mistakes - not Robin Olsen bad, but pretty bad nonetheless. This is no longer a starting International Goalkeeper (that honor goes to Diogo Costa nowadays). He would still make an excellent second-choice goalkeeper at a top club - which might be a good selling point as he still has admirers in the Premier League. Sell.
Mile Svilar - I really wanted to love Svilar. Football Manager Stans rise up, because ALL of us have signed Svilar at one point or another. Svilar still strikes me as potentially a very good keeper, but he has been unable to dislodge Patricio from that starting berth. I think he will end up staying around, and I hope he can prove himself to everyone in a starting role next season. Keep.
Defenders
Gianluca Mancini - We start with Mancini because as of right now, he is the only defender that looks certain to stay. He is definitely the second coming of Materazzi in temperament… if not in talent just yet. He still as a few years on his contract, Mourinho likes him a lot, and he provides leadership on and off the pitch. Keep.
Chris Smalling - While Smalling has been our best player (not just defender) at quite a few points this season, I am always concerned about long-term performance with him. I think he should be renewed - his play has merited that - but if I said “leader at the back, wins everything in the air, incredibly useful on set pieces” I haven’t just described Smalling… I’m also describing one Federico Fazio. Players like Fazio and Smalling are incredibly reliant on their physical attributes - but that physicality at older ages is one major injury away from disappearing completely. Renew him - but no more than two years. Keep.
Marash Kumbulla - Ah, the anti-Smalling. If Chris Smalling’s play has merited him to receive a contract renewal, Kumbulla’s definitely has not. However, due to his ACL injury, Marash is staying for another season in Rome… even if he probably shouldn’t. Keep.
Roger Ibañez - Now comes the other shoe. Roma needs to raise 30 million euros by the end of June to comply with their FFP agreement with Uefa. Failure to do so will likely hamstring us again in the coming Europa League, especially without Champions League money. With Abraham’s injury, and Ndicka a done deal, the clearest place to monetize in the squad is with Roger Ibañez. Our relationship with Roger has been a love-hate one, where we love his grinta and his ability to score in crucial moments, but his brain-farts have cost us on the pitch… repeatedly. Sell.
Full-Backs
Rick Karsdorp - It’s unclear what Karsdorp’s situation with the manager is. On the one hand, Karsdorp was reintegrated into the squad after his falling out with Mourinho and did continue to play, but how much of that was convenience and a “wait until the summer” mentality rather than anything truly genuine. Karsdorp is also currently recovering from an injury, which he should be fit from before September. He has a contract until 2025 - I’d consider him out the door should we receive a good offer… but I doubt we will. Keep.
Zeki Celik - I think it speaks volumes that Mourinho at times has preferred to play Spinazzola or Zalewski on the wrong side rather that give Celik the start. I don’t know if this has been due to poor form, injuries, or simply needing another season to “gel”. Regardless, I don’t think selling Celik at this point will accomplish anything. Keep.
Matias Viña - Remember him? Bournemouth has not exercised their option, so Viña is returning to home base. Unlike other loan moves, however, his time with the Cherries was fairly solid - including an outrageous goal against Chelsea. Why he’s not being renewed, I’m not sure but the Premier League exposure definitely helped us if we choose to cash in. The question is… should we? We are crying out for depth and Viña is a textbook “depth” option. I think we should approach this like Karsdorp - if we get an offer, consider it, otherwise Keep.
Leonardo Spinazzola - On paper, this is our best fullback. In practice, all of us know that the best ability is availability and Leonardo has just… not been there when needed. He is also - critically - the wrong side of 30, which in this position can cost you that turn of pace that is needed. I think, like Ibañez, this is a player we should cash in on now, especially as he enters his final year of contract. Sell.
Nicola Zalewski - Fortunately, this one is easy: Nicola has the distinction of being both young and home-grown, takes no space in registration, and Mourinho loves him. Keep.
Midfielders
Nemanja Matic - Boy was I wrong about Matic. I expected him to be too slow and lumbering for Mourinho’s game, but instead was exactly the midfield veteran we needed - a tall, Serbian Roy Kent. At his age, there is no-one realistically coming in for him, and his contract was automatically extended. Keep.
Bryan Cristante - The unsung hero of this season, Cristante has been consummate professional we all know he can be. Unless we get outrageous money for him (doubtful), this is a Keep.
Edoardo Bove - Like Zalewski, he has been the cream of the crop of youngsters brought through by Mourinho. The argument here is not - should he stay or should he go, but rather should we keep or should we loan. Bove does need minutes… but in his defense, this season he’s gotten them and earned them on the pitch. Keep.
Benjamin Tahirovic - I feel so bad for Benjamin. He was thrown into the fire and while he didn’t do poorly… he didn’t do well either. Like Bove, he needs minutes… unlike Bove, his play hasn’t warranted giving them to him. If there was ever a player who needed a move to Sassuolo, here he is. Sell (with Buy-Back Clause).
Ebrima Darboe - I feel really bad for Darboe. He had the breakout season of his life only two years ago, but has been heavily hampered by injury for the past year and a half and is only returning to training… now. So what do we do with him? He needs minutes to gain back fitness, not just for us, but him and his sharpness. I doubt Sassuolo will bite, but I think a newly promoted team or an Udinese might. Loan.
Gonzalo Villar - Yep, he’s coming back. Like Viña, Getafe is not exercising their option to buy - he never even put on the jersey! - and like Karsdorp he also rather publicly fell out with Mourinho. In this case, though, the falling out was quite a bit more justified, as Gonzalo has proven himself to be both mentally and physically frail, while being technically gifted. There is value in this player, but no team has really been willing to take a risk on him. He has spoken publicly about a willingness to prove himself to Mourinho - I’d be willing to give him that chance, if anything due to a lack of options. Keep.
Attacking Midfielders/Wingers
Lorenzo Pellegrini - Do I need to discuss this one? Keep.
Paulo Dybala - Recent statements have really put the speculation to rest: Dybala appears to want to stay in Italy and in Rome specifically. Keep.
Stephan El Sharaawy - He has demonstrated a willingness to be a servant for the club, even agreeing to a pay-cut with his renewal package. Keep.
Cristian Volpato - See Tahirovic. He desperately needs the minutes his potential deserves. There has been a lot of chatter of him going off to Sassuolo and I think it makes the most sense. Sell (with Buy-Back Clause).
Ola Solbakken - Had his minutes cut drastically by the registration shenanigans due to Zaniolo transfer, but was solid in the league and has room to grow. Keep.
Justin Kluivert - Once again, Kluivert is returning to home-base. While I would like to see us make use of him, he has made it categorically clear that he doesn’t want to be here. Bournemouth are said to be interested, but I see him potentially doing quite well in France or Spain. There’s a particular club in Spain in particular who I think might bite… but more on them later. Sell.
Carles Perez - Like Kluivert, Perez is also returning from a loan (I’m seeing a pattern here), but unlike Kluivert I don’t see anything worthwhile that Perez might bring to this team. Sell.
Strikers
Tammy Abraham - Up until recently, he was the most likely in the squad to be monetized with West Ham and Aston Villa both interested. His ACL tear scuppered that plan, and is now likely to stay in Rome for one more season. I hope it’s redemption for him after a fairly poor season. Keep.
Andrea Belotti - SPEAKING OF POOR SEASONS! I cannot explain exactly what has happened to Belotti, but I’d guess that his poor form in the league is more due to a poor team form than his own. The service and creativity behind him was simply lacking, and without Abraham’s physicality to win long balls he was kind of left to his own devices, pressing defenders and midfielders as needed… which he did. His automatic contract extension was activated, however, so expect to see Andrea in Roma colors next season. Keep.
Eldor Shomurodov - This is a weird one… although this signing has been odd from the get-go. Shomurodov’s loan is likely not going to be made permanent by Spezia - especially if they get relegated - and this season he has been completely been cut out by N’zola’s heroics in front of goal. That said, Abraham’s injury means that there is a good chance Shomurodov will be playing in Roma colors next season - especially if we cannot get a striker in. Keep.

Squad Needs

To my mind - this is including the Aouar and Ndicka transfers - this team needs at least one more player per role.

1. A Goalkeeper to replace either Rui Patricio as first-choice keeper, or Svilar as second-choice keeper.
2. An additional Left-Back to replace the departing Spinazzola - preferably left-footed to provide a different kind of player to Zalewski.
3. An additional fullback as coverage for both wings (either footed).
4. A deep-lying playmaker who can give coverage for Cristante, either to rest or when he is needed as an additional defender.
5. A rotation defender who can slot in to give coverage for the injured Kumbulla.
6. A versatile attacker who can play both at striker, and as a second-striker alongside Dybala for coverage.

Targets

Let’s tackle these in order, shall we?
Goalkeeper
Emil Audero - Audero has been Serie A’s most unsung hero for a few seasons, keeping a mediocre Sampdoria side up when they clearly didn’t deserve to. Sampdoria’s financial woes can be very helpful to us, however, as we could essentially pick him up for a song (ie 6 million or less). There will likely be a bidding war for both Vicario and Carnesecchi this summer, but I’d rather go for solid and less flashy between the sticks.
Dominik Livakovic - This is a PSA: Livakovic still plays for Dinamo Zagreb… somehow. This is a world class, internationally rated goalkeeper that is entering his final year of contract. If we can beat the competition, this would be a great pickup.
Center-Backs
Kostantinos Mavropanos - With Stuttgart facing a relegation playoff, it’s possible that one of Europe’s best young(ish) center backs might be available for a significant discount. With the legacy that Dellas and Manolas have left with this club, having a Greek defender back at the club feels… right!
Diego Llorente - Played on loan with us for six months and impressed when he played. With Leeds just relegated and the player pushing to stay in Rome, it’s possible we get a good discount (there is no way we should spend 18 million on him though).
Fullbacks
Cristiano Biraghi - Biraghi is entering his final year of contract at Fiorentina and has been a solid option everywhere he has played. More defensively minded than Spinazzola or Zalewski, but still willing to run down the left and play a cross - he leads la Viola for progressive carries. Importantly, he is left-footed so he gives us a different play down the left than our two current left-backs.
Kai Wagner - If you don’t rate MLS, feel free to skip but Kai Wagner has been the one of the league’s best left-backs - former Schalke player before moving to Philadelphia and really exploding. Was set to join Leeds but their relegation changes that completely. Their loss is our gain - his contract expires in December, could be an excellent pickup.
Adrien Truffert - Had a breakout season for Rennes last season, who have an excellent eye for talent in recent years. Truffert has been marketed as being available for 15 million this summer - which is perhaps more than we’re willing to spend, but if Spinazzola is sold for a comparable fee, then this might be a solid like-for-like replacement.
Sergio Reguillón - His loan at Atletico has come to an end, and it’s looking like Reguillon is hitting the market once more. Mourinho is supposedly a big fan and they’ve worked well together before. This would likely be a loan, and only after Levy pays up for Ibanez as he’s likely to pull shenanigans. Still - this could be a great, essentially free, pickup.
Wilfried Singo - Last one on this list, Singo’s has had a great few years for Torino but has publicly come out and said he will not sign a new deal. This would be a solid alternative to Karsdorp as they play relatively similarly.
Midfielders
Youri Tielemans - This has been discussed quite a bit - Tielemans is available on a free this summer, and is pure class at deep-lying playmaker. My only concern is that he does not play as defensively as Mourinho might like, but this is still a great player and a great opportunity we should not let slip.
Florian Grillitsch - Like Tielemans, Grillitsch is available for a free this summer. Unlike Tielemans, however, Grillitsch has not had a great season after his move to Ajax this season - mainly due to injury. That said, this is a physical player who can play well with his feet - very much in the mold of a Strootman.
Nikola Moro - Moro has been an unsung, unspoken of, hero of Bologna’s season with Serie A leading stats for progressive passes, carries, and successful through balls. He is currently on loan with an option to buy from Dinamo Moscow and it seems increasingly unlikely that Bologna will use that option. We should absolutely make an offer as Moro has shown himself to be an excellent and reliable midfield option.
Davide Frattesi - Let’s try this again, shall we? This is likely going to happen this summer - with a players plus cash mega deal with Sassuolo. This is not quite the profile I outlined but would provide a dose of dynamism to a rather sluggish midfield.
Strikers
This one is complicated - because the profile I outlined doesn’t exist at our price-range. In an ideal world, we would take advantage of the absurd situation at Chelsea and pickup Kai Havertz on loan as that fits the criteria exactly - Striker and Attacking Midfielder in one (Richarlison also comes to mind). So here’s my best choices although none of them is exactly perfect for what we want.
Sheraldo Becker - One of the lynchpins of the Union Berlin cinderella story, Becker is explosive when he gets going and fits a counterattacking team perfectly. Becker is very publicly available for a cool 20mln this summer, but may be able to be negotiated down as this is last year of contract. The issue is that Becker is more a wingeattacking midfielder than a striker. He has played there in a pinch but it doesn’t play the most to his strengths.
Alfredo Morelos - Morelos has just left the Ibrox at the end of his contract looking for a bigger club, but no-one has bitten yet. He is an out-and-out goal scorer, who played as an 11 in a 4-2-3-1 formation. Here, the problem is the reverse - can he play at second striker as a Raumdeuter-type player?
Mauro Icardi - Here we are again, linked with Mauro Icardi for a price as close to “free” as is possible. Is it worth it to bring the Icardi soap opera to a powder keg like Rome? Honestly… if there’s one thing Icardi does, that Icardi always does, is score goals, something we desperately needed this past season. Again, like Morelos though, can he play alongside a number 9 as a second striker?
Last one, which I’m including purely for the banter of it but…
Mario Balotelli - WAIT stop don’t Alt-F4 this just yet. Hear me out. Mourinho is one of the few coaches to get Balotelli to act like an actual footballer, and he has a great rapport with Stephan El Sharaawy. I think these two things in combination might get one last gasp out of Italy’s last truly great talent, with the added benefit that he can play both the positions I outlined above. Sion has crashed out of the Superleague in Switzerland after losing their playoff, so Balotelli will likely leave on a free. I would go for a gamble on him with an Adriano-esque behavior clause that lets us tear up his contract for behavioral issues.
Also, for what it's worth, he's fairly good at Penalties. Which I bring up... for reasons.

Conclusion

Well... that was a long read, kudos for making it to the end. This summer looks to be another summer of transition - but there is a lot to this squad that is salvageable. After the Final, a lot of us were perfectly willing to blow up the team and start over, but that's not my take here. We were let down in that final by our squad depth - when preparing for penalties Mourinho looked at a bench that had Volpato, Tahirovic, Camara, Karsdorp and two goalkeepers - not exactly a stacked bench full of specialists. We can talk dirty play, bad refereeing, and poor penalties all day though, but what killed us at the final hurdle and indeed all season was our lack of depth. Rebuilding the squad is not a way to achieve that. I look forward to your comments and thoughts, and hope to see a good mercato!

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Black Panther (2018) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4.25 (GP/HD) $1.75
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.50
Black Widow (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Blacklight (2022) (MA/HD) $4.25
Blues Brothers + Unrated (1980) (MA/4K) $7
Bob's Burgers Movie (2022) (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2.25
Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6.75
Bodyguard, The (1992) (MA/HD) $5
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3.25
Bond: Man with the Golden Gun (1974) (Vudu/HD) $6.25
Book Club (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $1
Born a Champion (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Boss Baby (2017) & Family Business (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Boss Baby (2017) (MA/HD) $1.50
Boss, The (Unrated) (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.75
Bourne Collection 1-5 (MA/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) $18 (MA/HD) $14
Boxtrolls, The (2014) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Boy, The (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Brahms: The Boy II (2020) (iTunes/4K) $2.75
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992) (MA/4K) $7
Brave (2012) (iTunes/4K) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.50
Braveheart (1995) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) $5
Breakfast Club (1985), Weird Science (2008), Sixteen Candles (1984) (MA/HD) $11.50
Breakthrough (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50
Brightburn (2019) (MA/HD) $6.75
Bullet to the Head (2013) (MA/HD) $3
Bullet Train (2022) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4
Bumblebee (2018) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $2
Bye Bye Man (Unrated) (2017) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.50
Cabin in the Woods (2012) (iTunes/4K) $2.75 (Vudu/HD) $2
Call of the Wild (2020) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $1.50 (GP/HD) $1.25
Candyman (2020) (MA/HD) $4.50
Captain America: Civil War (2016) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain America: Winter Soldier (2014) (MA/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $2.25
Captain Fantastic (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $4
Captain Marvel (2019) (MA/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Card Counter, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5
Casablanca (1943) (MA/4K) $6.25
Case for Christ, The (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Celebrating Mickey (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50
Chappie (2015) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.75
Charlie's Angels (2000) (MA/4K) $7.75
Charlie's Angels (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Chasing Amy (1997) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Chicago (2002) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Choice, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Christopher Robin (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $4
Chronicle (2012) (MA/HD) $4.50
Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (2010) (MA/HD) $7
Cinderella (2015) (MA/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
City of Lies (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Clerks III (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Close Encounters of the Third Kind + Director's Cut (1977) (MA/HD) $7.50
Cloverfield (2008) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Clown (2014) (Vudu/HD) $6.25
Cocaine Bear (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Coco (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (GP/HD) $2.25
Conan The Barbarian (2011) (Vudu/4K) $5
Contractor (2022) (Vudu/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Courier, The (2020) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Crash (2004) (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Crawl (2019) (Vudu/HD) $3 (iTunes/4K) $2
Creed Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $11.50
Creed III (2023) (Vudu/HD) $8
Croods (2013) & A New Age (2020) (MA/HD) $6
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2001) (MA/4K) $7.75
Cruella (2021) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Daddy's Home Collection 1-2 (Vudu/HD) $5
Daniel Craig Collection 5-Movie (Vudu/4K) $18
Dark Waters (2019) (MA/HD) $5.75
Darkest Hour (2017) (MA/HD) $3
Day After Tomorrow (2004) (MA/HD) $6.75
DC League of Super-Pets (2022) (MA/4K) $8 (MA/HD) $5
Deadpool (2016) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Deadpool 2 (2018) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Death on the Nile (2022) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Deepwater Horizon (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Demolition Man (1993) (MA/HD) $6.50
Dentist Collection 1-2 (1996-1998) (Vudu/HD) $5
Detective Knight Collection 1-3 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $13
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010) (MA/HD) $4.50
Die Hard (1988) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $4
Die Hard 1-5 (MA/HD) $15
Dirty Dancing (1987) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Dirty Grandpa (2016) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6
DisneyNature: Monkey Kingdom (2015) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
District 9 (2009) (MA/4K) $6.50
Django Unchained (2012) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Do the Right Thing (1989) (MA/4K) $6
Doctor Strange (2016) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) $4 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Dog (2022) (Vudu/HD) $3
Dolittle (2020) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $3.50
Don't Breathe (2016) (MA/HD) $5.50
Doors (1991) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Downton Abbey: A New Era (2022) (MA/HD) $3.75
Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who (2008) (MA/HD) $6
Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) (iTunes/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $5
Dracula 2000 (2000), II: Ascension (2003) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $10
Dracula Untold (2014) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) $4
Dragged Across Concrete (2019) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Dragonheart 5-Movie (MA/HD) $14
Dumbo (1941) (MA/HD) $7.50 (GP/HD) $6
Dumbo (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (GP/HD) $2.50
Dune (2021) (MA/4K) $5.50
Dunkirk (2017) (MA/4K) $6.50
Dying of the Light (2014) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $3
Edge of Seventeen (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Edward Scissorhands (1990) (MA/HD) $3
Eighth Grade (2018) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Elvis (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4
Elysium (2013) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.25
Emoji Movie (2017) (MA/HD) $2.25
Encanto (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) (GP/4K) $3.50
Ender's Game (2013) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
English Patient (1996) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Epic (2013) (MA/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/SD) $1.25
Equalizer 2 (2018) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $2.75
Escape from L.A (1996) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6
Escape from Planet Earth (2013) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Eternals (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3
Everest (2015) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3 (iTunes/4K) $4
Everything Everywhere All at Once (2022) (Vudu/4K) $7.50
Exodus: Gods and Kings (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Expendables 1-3 (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Eyes of Tammy Faye (2021) (GP/HD) $4.25
F9: The Fast Saga + Director's Cut (2021) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Fantastic Beasts Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $7.75
Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3
Fantastic Four (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50
Fast & Furious Collection 1-9 (MA/HD) $9
Fatale (2020) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Father Stu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Fatherhood (2021) (MA/HD) $3.75
Fatman (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Fences (2016) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.75
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6
Field of Dreams (1989) (MA/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $6
Fifth Element (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $6
Fifty Shades of Grey 3-Movie + Unrated (MA/HD) $9.50
Finding Dory (2016) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.50 (GP/HD) $1.25
Finding Nemo (2003) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3
Finest Hours, The (2016) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $3.75
First Man (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25
Flashdance (1983) (Vudu/4K) $6.75
Flatliners (2017) (MA/HD) $4.25
Footloose (2011) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3.50
Ford v Ferrari (2019) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $4.75
Forever My Girl (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
Forrest Gump (1994) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Frankenstein (1931) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Free Guy (2021) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
French Dispatch (2021) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3.50
From Dusk till Dawn (1996) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Frozen (2013) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $1.50
Frozen 2 (2019) (MA/4K) $4.50 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Full Metal Jacket (1987) (MA/4K) $6.50
Fury (2014) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.50
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Gamer (2009) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Gemini Man (2019) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $3.50
Girl In The Spider's Web (2018) (MA/HD) $4.50
Girl on the Train (2016) (iTunes/4K) $2.25 (MA/HD) $2.50
Girl with All the Gifts, The (2016) (Vudu/HD) $5
Gladiator (2000) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Glass (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.50
Glory (1989) (MA/4K) $7.75
Godfather Trilogy (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $14
Gods of Egypt (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (Vudu/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $1.50
Godzilla (1998) (MA/4K) $6.50
Gone Girl (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Goosebumps 2 (2018) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) $6.50
Gotti (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2
Grease (1978), 2 (1982), Live! (2016) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13
Greatest Showman (2017) (MA/HD) $2.25
Green Book (2018) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $5
Green Hornet (2011) (MA/HD) $6.50
Green Knight (2021) (Vudu/4K) $5.50
Green Lantern: Beware My Power (2022) (MA/HD) $3
Green Mile, The (1999) (MA/4K) $6
Grey, The (2012) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.75
Groundhog Day (1993) (MA/4K) $8
Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $1.75
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) $4.25 (GP/HD) $1.25
Hacksaw Ridge (2016) (Vudu/4K) $4.50 (iTunes/4K) $3.50 (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Hail, Caesar! (2016) (MA/HD) $3.75 (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Halloween (2018) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $4.25
Halloween Ends (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.50
Halloween Kills (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $4.25
Hancock (2008) (MA/4K) $6.50
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Happytime Murders (2018) (iTunes/4K) $1.75
Hardcore Henry (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.50
Harriet (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Hate U Give (2018) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $4.50
Haunting in Connecticut (2009) (Vudu/HD) $6.50
Heat, The (2013) (MA/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/SD) $1
Heat: Director's Definitive Edition (1995) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $5.25
Heaven is for Real (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Heavy Metal (1981) (MA/4K) $6.50
Hell Fest (2018) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Hell or High Water (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Hellboy (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Hellboy (Director's Cut) (2004) (MA/4K) $6.50
Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Hereditary (2018) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Highlander (1986) (Vudu/4K) $5
Hitman's Bodyguard (2017) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Hobbs & Shaw (2019) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Hocus Pocus (1993) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
Holmes And Watson (2018) (MA/HD) $3.75
Home (2015) (MA/HD) $2
Home Alone 1-2 (MA/HD) $7.50
Hope Springs (2012) (MA/HD) $2.50
Hostiles (2017) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Hotel Mumbai (2019) (MA/HD) $5.25
Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.50
House of 1,000 Corpses (2003), Devil's Rejects (2005), 3 From Hell (2019) (Vudu/HD) $6
House of the Dragon: Season 1 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $9 (Vudu/HD) $5.50
House with a Clock in Its Walls (2018) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $3.75
How to Train Your Dragon Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $7
Howard the Duck (1986) (MA/4K) $7
Hunger Games Collection 1-4 (Vudu/HD) $6 (iTunes/4K) $12
Hunt for Red October (1990) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Hunter Killer (2018) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Hurt Locker (2008) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Hustle, The (2019) (iTunes/4K) $2.75
I Feel Pretty (2018) (iTunes/HD) $1
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry (2007) (MA/HD) $3.50
I See You (2019) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
I, Frankenstein (2014) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.75
I, Tonya (2017) (MA/HD) $5.75
Imitation Game, The (2014) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Immortal Life Of Henrietta Lacks (2017) (iTunes/HD) $3.50
In the Heights (2021) (MA/4K) $5
Incredible Hulk (2008) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.25
Incredibles (2004) (MA/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Incredibles 2 (2018) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2
Independence Day (1996) (MA/4K) $7.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50
Indiana Jones 1-4 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $20
Infinite (2021) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Inglorious Bastards (2009) (MA/4K) $7
Inside Out (2015) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $4.25 (GP/HD) $1.50
Instant Family (2018) (Vudu/HD) $2 (iTunes/4K) $1.50
Insurgent (2015) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25 (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Interstellar (2014) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) $4
Invisible Man (2020) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.75
Iron Man 1-3 (MA/4K) $21 (iTunes/4K) $16 (GP/HD) $7.50
Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United (2013) (MA/HD) $5.50
It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963) (Vudu/HD) $6.75
It's a Wonderful Life (1946) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5
Jack Reacher Collection 1-2 (iTunes/4K) $7
Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Jackass Forever (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4
Jason Statham 6-Movie (Wild Card, War, Bank Job, Transporter 3, Crank, Crank 2) (Vudu/HD) $9
Jaws (1975) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.75
Jaws (1975) Jaws 2 (1978) Jaws 3 (1983) Jaws: The Revenge (1987) (MA/HD) $15
Jay & Silent Bob Reboot (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Jesus Music, The (2021) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Jexi (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.50
Jigsaw (2017) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2
JOBS (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
John Wick Collection 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $15 (iTunes/4K) $13 (Vudu/HD) $7
Juice (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Jumanji (1995) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $6
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.50
Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle (2017) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $2 (MA/SD) $1
Jungle Book (1967) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4
Jungle Book (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
Jungle Book 2 (2003) (MA/HD) $6.50 (GP/HD) $5.50
Jungle Cruise (2021) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3
Jurassic World Collection 1-5 (MA/4K) $20 (iTunes/4K) $17.50 (MA/HD) $10
Jurassic World Collection 1-6 (MA/4K) $23.50 (MA/HD) $11.50
Jurassic World: Dominion + Extended Cut (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.25
Justice League x RWBY Super Heroes and Huntsmen Part One (2023) (MA/HD) $4
Justice Society: World War II (2021) (MA/4K) $5.50
Keeping Up with the Joneses (2016) (MA/HD) $4
Kick-Ass (2010) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Kid Who Would Be King (2019) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4.75
Kid, The (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004) (Vudu/HD) $6
Killing Kennedy (2013) (MA/HD) $6.50
King Kong (2005) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (MA/HD) $3.50
Kingsman: The Golden Circle (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.25
Knight and Day (2010) (MA/HD) $6.50
Knives Out (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.25
Knock at the Cabin (2023) (MA/HD) $6.50
Kung Fu Panda Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $12.50
La La Land (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Lady and the Tramp (1955) (MA/HD) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.75
Last Night in Soho (2021) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.75
Last Witch Hunter (2015) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $1.50
Legend of Hercules (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Legion of Super Heroes (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50
Les Miserables (1998) (MA/HD) $7
Life of Pi (2012) (MA/HD) $2.50
Lightyear (2022) (MA/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $2.75 (GP/HD) $2
Lincoln Lawyer (2011) (Vudu/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Lion King (1994) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.75
Lion King (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4 (GP/HD) $1.25
Little (2019) (MA/HD) $4.50
Little Mermaid (1989) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.75
Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea (2000) (MA/HD) $6.75
Little Mermaid III: Ariel’s Beginning (2008) (MA/HD) $6.75
Live Die Repeat: Edge Of Tomorrow (2014) (MA/4K) $6.50
Lock Up (1989) (Vudu/4K) $5
Logan (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Lone Ranger (2013) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Lone Survivor (2013) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) $2 (MA/HD) $1.50
Looper (2012) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $3
Lord of War (2005) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Lost City, The (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6
Love and Monsters (2020) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $7
Lovebirds (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5.50
Luca (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $3.25
Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Mad Max Collection 1-4 (Vudu/4K) $18
Madagascar Collection 1-4 (MA/HD) $14
Magic Mike's Last Dance (2023) (MA/HD) $7
Magnificent Seven (2016) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Maleficent (2014) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3 (GP/HD) $1.25
Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.75
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $1.75
Man on a Ledge (2012) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977) (MA/HD) $6.25
Marksman, The (2021) (MA/HD) $5.50
Marshall (2017) (MA/HD) $4.75
Martian - Extended Cut (2015) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Martian (Theatrical) (2015) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Mary Poppins Returns (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2
Mary Queen of Scots (2018) (MA/HD) $5.75
Matrix Collection 1-4 (MA/4K) $18.50
Matrix: Resurrections (2021) (MA/4K) $5
Maze Runner (2014) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.50
Mechanic: Resurrection (2016) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
Megan Leavey (2017) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $1.75
Memory (2022) (MA/HD) $3.50
Men (2022) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Men in Black (1997) (MA/HD) $6.50
Men in Black 3 (2012) (MA/HD) $2.50
Men in Black Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $15
Men in Black II (2002) (MA/HD) $6.75
Menu (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $4
MIB: International (2019) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $4.75
Mickey & Friends 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 2 (2023) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Mickey & Minnie 10 Classic Shorts - Volume 1 (2023) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $4
Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004) (MA/HD) $6.50
Midway (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4
Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Mile 22 (2018) (iTunes/4K) $1.75
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) & Minions (2015) (MA/HD) $8
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Miss Bala (2019) (MA/HD) $3.75
Missing Link (2019) (MA/HD) $4.25
Mission: Impossible Collection 1-6 (Vudu/4K) $25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $18
Mission: Impossible Fallout (2018) (Vudu/4K) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Moana (2016) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2
Moneyball (2011) (MA/HD) $2.75
Monster Hunter (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $4.25
Monsters University (2013) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3.50
Monsters, Inc. (2001) (iTunes/4K) Ports to MA $7.50
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life (1983) (MA/4K) $7.25
Moonfall (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5
Moonlight (2016) (Vudu/HD) $4
Moonrise Kingdom (2012) (MA/HD) $4.75
Morbius (2022) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $3.25 (MA/SD) $2.25
Mortal Engines (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.50
Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2014) (MA/HD) $3.50
Mortal Kombat Legends: Snow Blind (2022) (MA/HD) $5.50
Mother's Day (2016) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Mr. Holmes (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014) (MA/HD) $3.25
Mulan (1998) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (GP/HD) $3
Mulan (2020) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Mulan 2 (2005) (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.75
Mummy, The (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Muppets Most Wanted (2014) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.50
Murder on The Orient Express (2017) (MA/HD) $2.75
My All American (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25
My Boss's Daughter (2003) (Vudu/HD) $6
My Fair Lady (1964) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
National Lampoon's Animal House (1978) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $5.25
Natural, The (1984) (MA/4K) $5
Never Grow Old (2019) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
New Mutants (2020) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
News of the World (2020) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.75
Night at the Museum 3-Movie (MA/HD) $13 (MA/SD) $8
Night School (Extended) (2018) (MA/4K) $7
Nightmare Alley (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) (GP/HD) Ports to MA $3
Nocturnal Animals (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.25
Nope (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Nope (2022), Get Out (2017) & Us (2019) (MA/HD) $10
Northman (2022) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $4.50
Now You See Me 1-2 (Vudu/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $6.50
Nut Job (2014) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $1.75
Nutcracker and the Four Realms (2018) (MA/4K) $6 (MA/HD) $3 (GP/HD) $2.50
Oblivion (2013) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $3.50 (MA/HD) $2.25
Office Space (1999) (MA/HD) $7
Old (2021) (MA/HD) $4.50
Once Upon A Time... In Hollywood (2019) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $5
One Direction: This is Us + Extended Fan Edition (2013) (MA/HD) $3.25
Onward (2020) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.25
Operation Finale (2018) (iTunes/4K) $2.75
Orphan: First Kill (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $7.50
Ouija (2014) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Overlord (2018) (Vudu/4K) $5 (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) $4
Oz the Great and Powerful (2013) (MA/HD) $2 (GP/HD) $1
Pacific Rim Uprising (2018) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $4.50
Parasite (2019) (MA/HD) $4.75
Passengers (2016) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $2.75
Paterno (2018) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $2.75
Patriot Games (1992) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Patriots Day (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $6
Peanuts Movie (2015) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.25
Pearl (2022) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Penguins of Madagascar (2014) (MA/HD) $2.75
Pet Sematary (2019) (Vudu/4K) $4.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $2.50
Pete’s Dragon (2016) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.25
Peter Pan (1953) (MA/HD) $6.25 (GP/HD) $4.75
Peter Pan: Return to Neverland (2002) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $4.50
Peter Rabbit (2018) & 2 (2021) (MA/HD) $8
Philadelphia (1993) (MA/4K) $7.75
Pineapple Express (Unrated Edition) (2008) (MA/HD) $6.50
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $1.75
Pitch Perfect (2012) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Pitch Perfect 2 (2015) (MA/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.75
Pitch Perfect Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $11
Pixar Short Films Collection, Vol. 3 (2018) (MA/HD) $5.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
Pixels (2015) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Planes (2013) (MA/HD) $2.25 (GP/HD) $1.25
Planet of the Apes 1-3 (Newer) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $11
Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World (1998) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $3.25
Precious (2009) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $6.25
Predator (1987) (MA/HD) $3.50
Predator (1987), 2 (1990), Predators (2009), Predator (2018) (MA/HD) $10
Predator (2018) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.50
Pretty in Pink (1986) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Prey for the Devil (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6
Priceless (2016) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies (2016) (MA/HD) $6.50
Prophecy Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $14
Protege, The (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75
Proud Mary (2018) (MA/HD) $4.25
Psycho (1960), Rear Window (1954), The Birds (1963), Vertigo (1958) (MA/4K) $16
Pulp Fiction (1994) (Vudu/4K) $5.50 (Vudu/HD) $4.25 (iTunes/HD) $5.25
Punisher, The (2004) (Vudu/4K) $5.75 (Vudu/HD) $5.25
Punisher: War Zone (2008) (Vudu/4K) $5.75
Purge, The (2013) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
Purge: Anarchy (2014) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.75
Puss in Boots (2011) (MA/4K) $6.75
Queen of Katwe (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Raid 2 (2014) (MA/HD) $5.75
Raid: Redemption + Unrated (2012) (MA/HD) $5.75
Rambo Collection 1-5 (Vudu/HD) $12
Rambo Last Blood (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $2.75
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Ready or Not (2019) (MA/HD) $6.25
Red (2010) (Vudu/4K) $6.25
Red Sparrow (2018) (MA/HD) $4.50
Requiem for a Dream - Director's Cut (2000) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Rescuers, The (1977) (MA/HD) $6.50
Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (2017) (MA/4K) $7.25 (MA/HD) $3.25
Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $4.50
Revenant, The (2015) (MA/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3.25
Richard Jewell (2019) (MA/4K) $6.50
Riddick Collection 1-3 (Unrated) (MA/HD) $13
Ride Along 1-2 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Rings (2017) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Rise of the Guardians (2012) (MA/HD) $3.25
Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2010) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.75
Robin Hood (2010) (MA/4K) $6.25
Robin Hood (2018) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
RoboCop (2014) (Vudu/HD) $2
Rocketman (2019) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $2.50 (Vudu/HD) $2.25
Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) (MA/HD) $5.25
Rogue (2020) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $3.50
Roman J. Israel, Esq. (2017) (MA/HD) $3.50
Ron's Gone Wrong (2021) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $5.25 (GP/HD) $3.50
Rookie of the Year (1993) (MA/HD) $7.50
Room (2015) (Vudu/HD) $5
Rough Night (2017) (MA/HD) $4.25
Rumble (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Run Lola Run (1998) (MA/HD) $6.50
Safe House (2012) (MA/HD) $4 (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Saturday Night Fever (1977) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.25
Sausage Party (2016) (MA/HD) $4.75
Savages (2012) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $2.25
Saving Private Ryan (1998) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Saw (2004) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Saw Collection 1-7 (Vudu/HD) $10
Scarface (1983) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $5.25
Scary Movie 3 (2003) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark (2019) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $3
Schindler's List (1993) (MA/HD) $4.75
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010) (MA/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $5.25
Scream (1996) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.75
Scream 5 (2022) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Scream Collection 1-3 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $13.50
Scrooged (1988) (iTunes/HD) $4.75
Secret Headquarters (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6
Secret in Their Eyes (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $5
Secret Life of Pets, The (2016) (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (MA/HD) $2.75
Secret Life of Walter Mitty (2013) (MA/HD) $2
Selma (2015) (Vudu/HD) $3 (iTunes/HD) $2.25
Seriously Red (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6.75
Shallows, The (2016) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD $4
Shang-Chi (2021) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $4.75 (GP/HD) $3
Shape of Water (2017) (MA/HD) $3.25
Shaun of the Dead (2004) (MA/4K) $4
Shaun of the Dead (2004), Hot Fuzz (2007), World's End (2013) (MA/HD) $10
Shawshank Redemption (1994) (MA/4K) $6
Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023) & Shazam! (2019) (MA/HD) $10
Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023) (MA/4K) $8.75 (MA/HD) $7.50
She's the Man (2006) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Shutter Island (2010) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Sicario (2015) (Vudu/4K) $6 (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $3
Sicario: Day of the Soldado (2018) (MA/4K) $7.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Silent Night, Deadly Night: 3-Film Collection (1989-1991) (Vudu/HD) $5.50
Sin City (2005) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas (2007) (MA/HD) $6.50
Sing (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Sing 2 (2021) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.50
Sing Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $5.50
Singin' in the Rain (1952) (MA/4K) $6.50
Skyscraper (2018) (MA/4K) $5.25 (MA/HD) $1.75
Sleeping Beauty (1959) (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Smile (2022) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $3.75
Smokin' Aces (2007) (iTunes/4K) $5.75
Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs (1937) (MA/HD) $6 (GP/HD) $3.75
Snowden (2016) (MA/HD) $3.50 (iTunes/HD) $4
Snowman (2017) (MA/HD) $2.75
Some Kind of Wonderful (1987) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Sonic the Hedgehog (2020) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.50
Sorry to Bother You (2018) (MA/HD) $4.75
Soul (2020) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $3.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
Sound of Music, The (1965) (MA/HD) $5.75
Source Code (2011) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6
Space Jam (1996) (MA/4K) $5
Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021) (MA/4K) $5
Sparkle (2012) (MA/HD) $3.50 (MA/SD) $2.25
Speed (1994) (MA/4K) $5.25
Spider-Man Collection 1-8 (MA/HD) $24
Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) (MA/4K) $8 (MA/HD) $4
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) (MA/4K) $8 (MA/HD) $1.75
Spider-Man: No Way Home (2021) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.75
Spies in Disguise (2019) (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $2.50
Spiral (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.50
Spirit Untamed: The Movie (2021) (MA/HD) $4.25
Split (2017) (MA/4K) $6.75 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.75
Spontaneous (2020) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Spotlight (2015) (MA/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $3
Star Trek 1-3 (Vudu/4K) $18 (Vudu/HD) $9 (iTunes/4K) $13
Starship Troopers (1997) (MA/4K) $6.50
Step Up Revolution (2012) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.25
Stir of Echoes (1999) (Vudu/HD) $4.75
Straight Outta Compton (Unrated Director’s Cut) (2015) (MA/4K) $7.50 (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Strange World (2022) (GP/HD) Ports to MA $4.25
Studio 666 (2022) (MA/HD) $6.75
Suburbicon (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Suffragette (2015) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3
Suicide Squad, The (2021) (MA/4K) $5
Sully (2016) (MA/4K) $6.50
Sum of All Fears, The (2002) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $5.75
Super Buddies (2013) (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Super Troopers 2 (2018) (MA/HD) $3
Survive the Night (2020) (Vudu/4K) $4 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
SW: A New Hope (1977) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $6.25 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Attack of the Clones (2002) (iTunes/4K) Ports to MA $7.50
SW: Empire Strikes Back (1980) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $6.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Force Awakens (2015) (MA/4K) $5.25 (iTunes/4K) $3.50 (GP/HD) $1
SW: Last Jedi (2017) (MA/4K) $5.75 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1
SW: Phantom Menace (1999) (MA/4K) $7.50 (iTunes/4K) $6.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Return of the Jedi (1983) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $6.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Revenge of the Sith (2005) (MA/4K) $7.50 (GP/HD) $3.50
SW: Rise of Skywalker (2019) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) $4.75 (GP/HD) $2.25
SW: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) (MA/4K) $6.50 (iTunes/4K) $3.75 (GP/HD) $1.25
SW: Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $5 (GP/HD) $3.50
Taken Collection 1-3 (MA/HD) $9
Tangled (2010) (MA/4K) $8 (MA/HD) $5 (GP/HD) $3.75
Tar (2022) (MA/HD) $7.50
Ted (2012) (Unrated) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4
Teen Titans Go! & DC Super Hero Girls: Mayhem in the Multiverse (2022) (MA/HD) $4.75
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.25
Ten Commandments (1956) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Tenet (2020) (MA/4K) $6.50
Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $4.25
Terminator 4: Salvation (2009) (MA/4K) $6.50
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) (Vudu/4K) $6.50 (Vudu/HD) $3 (iTunes/4K) $2.50
Terms of Endearment (1983) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $5
Thing, The (2011) (MA/HD) $6.25
Think Like a Man (2012) & Two (2014) (MA/HD) $9
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25 (GP/HD) $2
Thor: Ragnarok (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3.50 (GP/HD) $1.75
Thor: The Dark World (2013) (MA/4K) $7 (iTunes/4K) $4.50 (GP/HD) $2.25
Ticket to Paradise (2022) (MA/HD) $6.50
Till (2022) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
To Kill a Mockingbird (1962) (MA/4K) $6.25 (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Top Gun (1986) (Vudu/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Top Gun: Maverick (2022) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $5.75
Tower Heist (2011) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $3.75
Toy Story 1-4 (MA/4K) $23 (iTunes/4K) $21 (GP/HD) $11.50
Traffic (2000) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $5.75
Training Day (2001) (MA/4K) $6.50
Transformers 1-5 (Vudu/4K) $28 (Vudu/HD) $22.50
Transformers: Last Knight (2017) (Vudu/4K) $4.75 (iTunes/4K) $2.25 (Vudu/HD) $2
Transporter, The (2002) (MA/HD) $6.25
Trolls Collection 1-2 (MA/HD) $6
Trolls World Tour (MA/HD) $5.50
Turning Red (2022) (MA/4K) $6.25 (MA/HD) $4 (GP/HD) $2.75
Umma (2022) (MA/HD) $4.75
Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Unbreakable (2000) (MA/4K) $6 (GP/HD) $3.75
Uncharted (2022) (MA/4K) $5.50 (MA/HD) $3.25
Uncle Drew (2018) (Vudu/4K) $6.25 (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3
Uncut Gems (2019) (Vudu/HD) $4.25
Underworld: Awakening (2012) (MA/HD) $1.75
Underworld: Blood Wars (2016) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) $2.25
Unforgiven (1992) (MA/4K) $6.50
Usual Suspects, The (1995) (Vudu/HD) $6
Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (2017) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Van Helsing (2004) (MA/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $4.75
Venom (2005) (Vudu/HD) (iTunes/HD) $4.50
Venom (2018) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $3.25
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) (MA/4K) $7 (MA/HD) $3.50
Vertigo (1958) (MA/HD) $4.75
Victor Frankenstein (2015) (MA/HD) $5.75
Violent Night (2022) (MA/HD) $6.75
Vivo (2021) (MA/HD) $4
Voyagers (2021) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.50
Walk, The (2015) (MA/HD) $4.75
Walking with Dinosaurs (2013) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $2.50
Wanted (2008) (iTunes/HD) Ports to MA $6
War Dogs (2016) (MA/4K) $6.50
War for the Planet of the Apes (2017) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $3
War of the Worlds (1953) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/4K) $6.75
Warcraft (2016) (MA/4K) $5 (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.25
Warrior (2011) (Vudu/4K) (iTunes/HD) $4
Waterworld (1995) (MA/4K) $6.75 (MA/HD) $6
Welcome to Marwen (2018) (MA/4K) $3.50
West Side Story (2021) (MA/4K) $5.75 (MA/HD) (GP/HD) $2.50
What Men Want (2019) (Vudu/HD) $1.75 (iTunes/4K) $1.25
When the Bough Breaks (2016) (MA/HD) $4.50
Where the Crawdads Sing (2022) (MA/HD) $4.50
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (2016) (Vudu/HD) $2.75 (iTunes/HD) $2
White Boy Rick (2018) (MA/HD) $5.25
Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance With Somebody (2022) (MA/HD) $5.75
Why Him? (2016) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2
Widows (2018) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $1.75
Wild Card (2015) (Vudu/HD) $4
Willow (1988) (MA/HD) $6.75
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) (MA/4K) $5
Wizard of Lies (2017) (Vudu/HD) $5 (iTunes/HD) $4.25 (GP/HD) $3
Wolf Man (1941) (MA/4K) $6.50
Wolf of Wall Street (2013) (Vudu/4K) $6 (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3.50
Woman in Gold (2015) (Vudu/HD) $2.75
Woman King (2022) (MA/4K) $6.50 (MA/HD) $5.50
Wonder (2017) (iTunes/4K) (Vudu/HD) $3
Wonder Park (2019) (Vudu/HD) $3 (iTunes/4K) $2.25
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) (MA/4K) $5
Woodlawn (2015) (MA/HD) (iTunes/HD) $3.75
World War Z (2013) (Vudu/HD) $3.25 (iTunes/HD) $1.50
Wreck-It Ralph (2012) (MA/4K) $8 (iTunes/4K) $6.50 (GP/HD) $4.25
X (2022) (Vudu/HD) $6.75
X-Men (2000), X2 (2003), X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) (MA/HD) $15
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) (MA/HD) $7
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) (MA/HD) $6
X-Men: Days of Future Past (2004) (iTunes/4K) (MA/HD) $2.50 Rogue Cut (MA/HD) $5
X-Men: First Class (2010), Days of Future Past (2004), Apocalypse (2014) (MA/HD) $11
Zootopia (2016) (MA/4K) $7.25 (iTunes/4K) $5 (MA/HD) $4.50 (GP/HD) $3.25

I just graduated with a Bachelor's in Statistics from a well regarded university. My GPA was pretty good (3.7). However, I did not get accepted to any of the internships I applied to for last summer (2022) so I have no relevant work experience.
I cannot afford to go to grad school. I need to start working and earning money. I don't need 6 figures or anything, I'm not trying to become rich. I just want to be able to afford an apartment or something so I don't have to live with my parents for too much longer. I'm currently applying to data entry positions as well as part-time tutoring positions so I can earn some money while living with my parents, but obviously neither of those things pays well enough for me to move out.
I never really figured out what I want to do with my life. I have zero real connections from college because nothing really inspired me to reach out to anyone, and I was a dumbass who didn't realize I was digging a hole for myself. I don't really feel like I'm a career oriented person anyway. Part of why I chose statistics is that I do like working with data, I definitely don't hate it, and it is something I can do competently. I always knew I wasn't going to get a Master's though, so I decided during my Junior Year that I would go for data analyst positions. I applied to dozens of internships but did not get accepted to any for that summer.
Soon after the start of my senior year of college, I experienced a depressive episode which lasted for nearly 6 months. I was able to focus on getting my schoolwork done well but I could not muster the effort needed to apply for jobs or internships consistently. By the time I got out of that around February-March, the task of becoming a data analyst with no experience seemed so daunting that I decided to seek advice.
The advice I got led me to decide to try to become an actuary. No Master's degree required, mathematical/statistical field, but most importantly to me it seemed like a narrow area of focus. I was *told* that passing the first 2 exams would make you competitive in the entry level market. So I went down that path. I actually failed my first attempt at the P exam in May, but I am taking it again in July and feel pretty confident I will pass this time. However, upon further research, it appears that what I was told isn't really true. It seems almost impossible to get an entry level job without an internship. I can't really find any actuarial internships in my area (and in my area is important, because I can't financially afford to move away from my parents). I've seen some people say that getting a job or internship in a related field such as data/business analysis basically counts as the type of experience one would need, but that just circles around to the same problem as before where you can't actually get a job in those fields without an internship (or a series of seemingly unintelligible steps which come with no guarantees of success), and local internships are hard to find and extremely competitive (I couldn't get any while in college with good grades).
This is who I am:
Skills:
-Statistical Methods and Reasoning
-Mathematical Skills and Reasoning
-Microsoft Word, Excel, and Powerpoint
-Lots of Experience with R
-Data Visualization (Excel, R, was working on Power BI before I started studying for actuarial exams full time)
Strengths:
-Strong Memory
-Responsible with time-management, deadlines, and the like
-Attentive to small details
-Strong analytical reasoning skills
-Explaining things to people
-Willing to put up with repetitive tasks
-Perceived as warm and likeable by most people
-Strong written communicator, pretty good oral communicator
-Quick learner
-Currently have tons of free time
Weaknesses:
-Bad at getting started on things if I don't know where I'm going/don't have reasonable expectation of success
-Currently have no connections and no experience
-I don't understand what I actually want career wise
-Don't understand how to "put myself out there" in a job search sense
-Fairly quiet/more of a "follower" personality than a leader
What I need:
-A narrow pathway with clear steps and a reasonable expectation of success
-Enough money to move out eventually (this isn't a huge number because I don't spend much, I'm fairly minimalist in how I live)
What I want, but don't necessarily need:
-Mentorship
-Something reasonably engaging
-Stability and security
With money not being a factor, I would go back to school and get a degree in linguistics or atmospheric sciences/climatology, both of which I find more interesting than statistics, and make connections with profs and try to get into research positions. But money is actually a very big limiting factor. I cannot do this financially and I refuse to go into debt. I'm currently on the actuarial "pathway" but it is clearly much wider and more uncertain than I thought it was a few months ago. I'm not personally married to staying on a data/statistics pathway of any sort (sunk cost) but I can't afford more formal education. Is there a "pathway" for me? Is my story common? If so, where do people like me go? I have a shit-ton of free time indefinitely so I can afford to spend lots of time learning stuff and grinding, and I have the willpower to do that, but I have no money.

Statistically speaking, I know you have to be out there somewhere. Trouble is, I highly doubt you're looking for me. Maybe because you don't believe that I exist. Maybe because it's just too much effort, and you think the apps are lame or physically painful to slog through. Which, you know, is fair. But maybe one day you'll get bored and scroll through here on a whim... and maybe, just maybe, you'll realize that I'm talking to you. This is not a post directed at most people. I wish everyone all the best in finding whatever it is they're looking for on here -- a life partner, love (however fleeting), companionship, distraction. But I'm not posting here for those things. I'm posting on the off chance that you see this. So if all of the following resonates with you, message me.

• You are perfectly capable of coming across as a well-adjusted, highly sociable person who enjoys playful banter and delighting in the absurd. You aren't an anxious person (typically) to the point where it impacts your daily life. You are always kind to others, even when stressed or having a bad day. But as the years tick by, you find yourself making excuses to spend more time alone (or the urge to do so has started tugging on your mind), because the truth is that most people bore you.
• You are smart, but not a "nerd". You are fascinated by how things work. You listen to podcasts or audiobooks, and love the idea of doing this with a partner -- to learn together, to challenge each other to think about things in a new way. You'd happily spend Friday evenings curled up inside a magnificent blanket fort, excitedly talking about some cool new neuroscience research that just came out, or the latest awesome (ly terrifying) thing someone did with AI, or trying to work out why humans human. If you play video games you only do so infrequently, or as a way to socialize with a friend. You are not a "gamer".
• You don't follow any sports religiously, and think it's ridiculous to schedule your life (and emotional state 😂) around commercialized "teams".
• You are ambitious about your career, but also realize that career isn't everything.
• You are on the taller side, and are either athletic(-ish) or working toward being in decent shape. I'm 5'8 & 140 lbs, with a fun body dysmorphia complex that makes me think I'm significantly larger than I am (rawr! 😉). Of course there's more to a partnership than looks, but physical intimacy is extremely important too and you can't force attraction. That being said, there are plenty of things that don't phase me one bit. Stretch marks? Bring 'em on. Acne? Don't care. A little extra weight around the middle? Great. I'm not looking for perfection. Imperfections can be se*xy af.
• You are pro meow.
• Being in nature is your happy place, and you get a warm fuzzy feeling in your chest when you think about living out in the woods somewhere away from all the other monkeys (even if the reality of a life without same-day grocery delivery is unconscionable). You could see yourself working remotely (either now or as an actionable goal). You love the idea of spending your evenings/weekends at home, listening to podcasts while working on DIY projects with your partner, or having cozy reading time, or tinkering silly inventions into being, or writing songs/making music together, or running around in the woods remembering what it felt like to see the world through a lens of childlike wonder.
• Your humor leans witty/sarcastic/dry, with a slight dark & creepy twist. (But there is a line, and certain things like cruelty to animals you don't find funny at all). And though the occasional pun / dad joke might draw out a reluctant smirk, they're definitely not your thing.

Statistically speaking, I know you have to be out there somewhere. Trouble is, I highly doubt you're looking for me. Maybe because you don't believe that I exist. Maybe because it's just too much effort, and you think the apps are lame or physically painful to slog through. Which, you know, is fair. But maybe one day you'll get bored and scroll through here on a whim... and maybe, just maybe, you'll realize that I'm talking to you.
This is not a post directed at most people. I wish everyone all the best in finding whatever it is they're looking for on here -- a life partner, love (however fleeting), companionship, distraction. But I'm not posting here for those things. I'm posting on the off chance that you see this. So if all of the following resonates with you, message me.
​

• You are perfectly capable of coming across as a well-adjusted, highly sociable person who enjoys playful banter and delighting in the absurd. You aren't an anxious person (typically) to the point where it impacts your daily life. You are always kind to others, even when stressed or having a bad day. But as the years tick by, you find yourself making excuses to spend more time alone (or the urge to do so has started tugging on your mind), because the truth is that most people bore you.
• You are smart, but not a "nerd". You are fascinated by how things work. You listen to podcasts or audiobooks, and love the idea of doing this with a partner -- to learn together, to challenge each other to think about things in a new way. You'd happily spend Friday evenings curled up inside a magnificent blanket fort, excitedly talking about some cool new neuroscience research that just came out, or the latest awesome (ly terrifying) thing someone did with AI, or trying to work out why humans human. If you play video games you only do so infrequently, or as a way to socialize with a friend. You are not a "gamer". You don't follow any sports religiously, and think it's ridiculous to schedule your life (and emotional state 😂) around commercialized "teams".
• You are ambitious about your career, but also realize that career isn't everything.
• You are on the taller side, and are either athletic(-ish) or working toward being in decent shape. I'm 5'8 & 140 lbs, with a fun body dysmorphia complex that makes me think I'm significantly larger than I am (rawr! 😉). Of course there's more to a partnership than looks, but physical intimacy is extremely important too and you can't force attraction. That being said, there are plenty of things that don't phase me one bit. Stretch marks? Bring 'em on. Acne? Don't care. A little extra weight around the middle? Great. I'm not looking for perfection. Imperfections can be se*xy af.
• You are pro meow.
• Being in nature is your happy place, and you get a warm fuzzy feeling in your chest when you think about living out in the woods somewhere away from all the other monkeys (even if the reality of a life without same-day grocery delivery is unconscionable). You could see yourself working remotely (either now or as an actionable goal). You love the idea of spending your evenings/weekends at home, listening to podcasts while working on DIY projects with your partner, or having cozy reading time, or tinkering silly inventions into being, or writing songs/making music together, or running around in the woods remembering what it felt like to see the world through a lens of childlike wonder.
• Your humor leans witty/sarcastic/dry, with a slight dark & creepy twist. (But there is a line, and certain things like cruelty to animals you don't find funny at all). And though the occasional pun / dad joke might draw out a reluctant smirk, they're definitely not your thing.

This is a response to https://doorcountypulse.com/the-importance-of-pronouns/, and it also reflects on https://doorcountypulse.com/hello-peninsula-pulse/.
Dear Emma,
Supreme Court cases do not operate the way the Independent article suggests. Small details in a decision, tangential to the issue being decided, do not turn it into a landmark case, or even establish precedent. Rather, it is a decision's holding which determines whether a case is a landmark or not. The Independent is foreign owned and operated, but being a large outlet, they should know better than to put out an article like the one you linked to.
In the court system, pronoun policy is currently split at the appellate level, with the Sixth Circuit and the Seventh Circuit taking opposing sides. The Supreme Court has not weighed in on this yet, but the split makes it more likely they will choose to rule about it.
Besides this, Jonathon Turley writes at https://jonathanturley.org/2023/04/25/seventh-circuit-upholds-termination-of-high-school-teacher-who-objected-to-pronoun-policy/ that a currently pending religious accommodations case, Groff v. DeJoy, could "gut the underlying standard used by the Seventh Circuit in its ruling for the school district".
Links:
Sixth Circuit https://www.opn.ca6.uscourts.gov/opinions.pdf/21a0071p-06.pdf
Seventh Circuit https://adfmedialegalfiles.blob.core.windows.net/files/KlugeSeventhCircuitOpinion.pdf
Oral argument for Groff v. DeJoy https://www.oyez.org/cases/2022/22-174
The results of a 2021 survey imply that the purpose of pronoun requirements are especially in order to get rid of conservative employees and civil servants. https://legermarketing.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Leger-The-Atlantic-Survey-Wokeness.pdf#page=10 found that Biden voters backed woke pronouns by a nearly 3 to 1 ratio over Trump voters. The table on page 4 shows that most people surveyed disagreed with woke pronouns: https://legermarketing.wpenginepowered.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/11/Leger-The-Atlantic-Survey-Wokeness.pdf#page=4. It follows from this that you should not expect your article to be supported by most readers. If people aren't responding negatively to you, it may indicate that they stay quiet because they don't want to be targeted, rather than that they agree. The 14,202 Door Countyites which voted yes on Wisconsin Referendum 1 not that many years ago didn't just disappear when 5 Supreme Court justices ruled against them between eight and nine years afterwards: https://web.archive.org/web/20081127174554/http://elections.state.wi.us/docview.asp?docid=10049&locid=47.
Both Champaign and Indianapolis are large cities, which can draw on outlying areas to get workers, making up for having below-replacement fertility. Door County also relies on importing workers, but because it is not a large city with lots of political power, this is less reliable. In 2020, for example, the supply of foreign J-1 workers was abruptly cut off. Door County manages to get a consider number of immigrants from outside the county, but most who relocate for longer than a season are wealthier than people residing in Door County. They also tend to be older and not looking to start new families.
Instead, as larger-scale governing bodies destabilize Door County and break down its social fabric and economy, they can use former Door Countyites to solve the worker shortages in large metro areas. Support for transgenderism is a shibboleth for the economic interests of large metro areas. This manifests itself locally as a lower quality of life and an economic leakage to outside the county. An example of this is in the letter by Janet Wilmoth about having to drive to Green Bay to see a veterinarian: https://doorcountypulse.com/letter-to-the-editor-emergency-veterinary-service-needed/.
Because it isn't a big city, Door County is especially dependent on its birth rate for its future. Its total fertility rate in 2020 was 1.533 lifetime births, well below replacement of 2.1 lifetime births. At this rate, each generation, without factoring for immigration or emigration, will be 27% smaller than the one before. However, since something like 30% to 40% of young adults leave the county, the effect is even stronger than 27%.
Transgenderism's concomitant drugs and surgeries tend towards sterilization, and towards making its subjects less attractive to the opposite sex. Assisted reproductive technologies are too expensive to be implemented on a broad scale. Transgenderism is a risk to Door County's future, because it could help push that 1.533 figure even lower. In this way, transgenderism is a demographic factor in the overall gentrification, just as unaffordable housing is an economic factor. Just as it is unwise to encourage unaffordable housing, it is unwise to encourage transgenderism.
Or even if you think replacement fertility is unrealistic and unachievable, consider that when the age structure of a population gets too unbalanced, it is harder to take care of the elderly. The struggles at Scandia Village are an example of this: https://doorcountypulse.com/scandia-village-up-for-sale/. Or should elderly people just be relocated far away, or as some think, even euthanized? Every transgender sterilization is a step in the wrong direction.
It follows then, that someone who refuses to use preferred pronouns might not be a horrible bigot who gets perverse satisfaction from it, but rather, someone who loves his or her community and wants it to have a future. Such people may even be willing to personally be on the losing side of a litmus test for the collective good.
The sponsors for Open Door Pride are listed at https://opendoorpride.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/THANK-YOU-TO-OUR-2023-SPONSORS-2-1024x576.jpg.
Some of them, such as the Miller Art Museum, Door County Community Auditorium, Peninsula Music Festival, Northern Sky Theater, have benefited from, and can expect to consider benefiting from, public, tax-funded support. Because taxpayers come from all sorts of political backgrounds, these organizations should have avoided all political activities, aside from lobbying for particular things directly related to their organization.
An example of the political trust vested in the Door County Community Auditorium is described in https://doorcountypulse.com/struggle-for-a-stage-door-community-auditorium/. But like Disney in Florida, they are engaging in partisan activity, betraying that trust. Institutions which benefit from public funding should be non-partisan and impartial. Public money should not be spent on group-think.
Most of the sponsors are local, but Carrie Busse Shorewest Realtors and Napalese are from Green Bay, the Avenue Art & Company is from Appleton, and Marketini Media is from Madison. They get to influence Door County while their cities benefit from Door County's emigrating young-adult population.
I'm not sure if this has been covered in your classes so far, or privately by your boss. If so, bear with me as I restate it. The Pulse has a different political makeup among its advertisers versus its readers. That it is a free paper tends to result in a readership which is inherently less educated than the readership of a subscription newspaper. I used to know a man who had once ran a free paper, but sold it. He was a conservative. It had a lot of general-interest content, nothing political, and especially featured ads for alcohol. Free papers tend to be read by people who read occasionally rather than regularly.
Occasional readers are less educated than regular readers, and the level of education corresponds to the political alignment. This means that natural readership of the Pulse is more conservative than the overall population of Door County. For people with a regular reading habit, the Pulse competes with a number of subscription outlets, while for occasional readers the Pulse has less competition.
Yet the Pulse isn't dominated by gas station and liquor store ads. Unlike many other free papers, its advertisers run more towards the left. This makes sense, because presently Door County has a disproportionately left-wing visitorship. One factor in the loss of right-leaning tourists may be in marketing decisions over recent decades has shifted. Right-wingers from the Chicago metro area are probably drawn more towards state parks in Indiana and other Door County alternatives. Local businesses geared toward tourists, or even seasonal residents, will probably be well-served by advertising in the Pulse.
This leaves the Pulse in the situation where it is to the left of its readership, but still financially sustainable. Its leadership must be aware of this vulnerability, as the Pulse's podcast tends to be to the left of the paper. That it sometimes leaves its readership behind is exemplified how, in the recent midterm election, Ron Johnson did not return any answers to the Pulse's questionnaire, while his Democratic opponent did. Door Countyites voted for him anyway, by a margin of only 75 votes. During the 2022 election it seems that a number of Republicans intentionally spurned media outlets over left-wing bias. To the extent that they did so, and won office anyway, this served to send a message to their base that they were unwilling to be manipulated by left-wing media. It could even be seen as a plea for fair treatment in the future.
Instead of pronouns, there are other topics out there. Recently, a large firm was paid a lot of state money to write a report which claimed that "Potawatomi was chosen in honor of the tribe that had lived in the area before ceding its land to the US government in the 1830’s."
Link: https://widnr.widen.net/view/pdf/infpwyoyy2/GRAEF-Potawatomi-Tower-Concept-Report.pdf#page=9
You could write an article debunking this, and explain what really happened. I think it would be well-received locally, though maybe not by the DNR. Had you written an article about how pronouns should always be biologically honest, that would have hurt your chances of getting a job someday as a journalist in a large metro area, but I don't think debunking Graef would hurt you. With some effort, you should be able to find other topics which are win-win for both your future career and for Door County. Although this is a social relationship, were it a biological relationship instead, this would be "mutualism" rather than "parasitism" or "predation".

Looks like it might be time for a cast list refresher! So let me reintroduce the chummers!!!!
OP (c’est moi!)
Female, late 20s
Grad student
Perky emo girl with purple hair
Likes crass humor
Nerdy, petite, beard bait
Decker
​
Funky P. Beard (FPB)
Male, early 30s
Bona fide psycho piece of shit
Street Samurai
​
Mori
The GM
Male, early/mid 30s
Hypersexual kinky bastard
Likes exhibitionism, vomit, and illegal substances
Charismatic, cult-leader vibes
Very amusing, always nice to OP
The only person who seemed capable of getting FPB to behave
​
Axton
Male, late 20s
Grad student
Sexy, pleasant to be around
Has a sense of humor that meshes well with OP’s
Usually able to ignore FPB’s psycho behavior
The primary target of FPB’s jealousy
Rigger
​
Sage
Male, early/mis 30s
Assistant GM
Host of the gaming weekends
Typically level-headed, but losing patience with FPB
Skilled in martial arts
Mage
​
Athena
Female, early 30s
Sage’s girlfriend
Co-host of the gaming weekends
Increasingly intolerant of FPB
Petite, pretty, friendly... probably also beard bait
Shaman
​
Snorlax
Male, early 30s
The funny fat guy (NOT a neckbeard)
Easy-going, friendly, rarely directly involved in the weekend’s drama
Stoner
Adept
​
Chapter 5: The Lap of Luxury
We had been moving back and forth between the garage and the living room (it wasn’t the “War Room” until the gaming began) for the past hour or so. This was actually my favorite part of the weekend. I wasn’t exhausted yet, nobody was plastered yet, and I was genuinely getting to know FPB’s buddies. Snorlax told me about his former career as a semi-pro wrestler, and how an injury had forced him to start working as a mall cop. Athena and Sage were both pharmacy techs, and they were considering opening their own gaming shop. Mori was a paralegal for an LGBT law firm and ran a fairly lucrative fetish website on the side. Axton was going to grad school for social work and was the bass player for a classic rock cover band. Damn it, we had genuine common interests. Why couldn’t he have been a parolee or a gong farmer?
And I was able to chat comfortably with all the team members because FPB had taken to the master bathroom upstairs to get “re-ready.” Not only did he desperately need to change his “dew-covered” underpants, but he also needed to take a full shower (using Athena’s bathing products, of course). He would then spend nearly a full hour blow-drying, flat-ironing, and spiking his jet-black hair so that he emerged looking like some bizarre mash-up of Hagrid and Discount Tom Sandoval.
I’m also assuming that he manscaped, and I sincerely hoped he’d brought his own pink razors for this task. But as for his bushy behemoth of a beard? He took absolutely NO care of it. I never understood the statement he was trying to make by being fastidious AF with every aspect of personal grooming, save his defining feature. No matter. He was absent, and I was finally having fun! Alas, the fun wouldn’t last. The time for pre-game was approaching, so Sage and Athena went to the kitchen to arrange the shots.
Athena: How many do you want, OP?
Me: I think I’d better stick with two since I’ve already had a beer.
A freshly showered and finally dressed FPB turned to me, “Yeah, you need to stay sober.”
Oh, now that bullshit made me want to drink...
Me: Athena, make it three for me.
FPB shot me a menacing look.
Me: What? I’m not gonna get wasted off one extra shot.
FPB: I’m saving you from yourself. You could at least TRY to appreciate my chivalry.
Me: Right...
But then I had second thoughts about angering the already rage-prone beast. I didn’t want to ruin the evening for the other team members. And FPB’s temper tantrums definitely had the potential to ruin the evening for everyone in attendance.
Me: I’ll shoot two and just sip on the third one. Does that sound reasonable?
FPB shrugged.
Me: Come on! I feel like such a sissy compared to the rest of you.
FPB: Whose fault is that? You didn’t take advantage of your years and years and years of being a “student” to practice handling your liquor?
Me: No, mostly I studied. And when we partied, we did drugs. We didn’t drink. Not like this, anyway.
I was getting pretty mad, and I did NOT want to have a full-blown screaming match with FPB in front of everyone.
Me: Do you mind if I take five? This isn’t something we need to argue over. I really am trying to learn how to play, and to play the way YOUR TEAM plays. The guide books were no help at all.
FPB: If I catch you asking Mori for coke, so help me...
Me: I just need some air. That’s not code for anything untoward. I just want to go outside.
FPB: I’m coming with you.
Snorlax stepped in.
Snorlax: Bro. Just let her go outside. I’ll stand by the door and make sure Mori doesn’t follow her.
FPB: I don’t care about Mori! You make sure that dick-wipe Axton doesn’t follow her. I *know* he’s trying to bang her.
I could hear all this rancor on my way to the back door.
Me: Dude!!! Chill! I’m not going outside to get drugs. I’m not going outside to shag anybody. I just want five fucking minutes of peace!
Mori stood up. He was shirtless that night, wearing nothing but ultra-sheer light pink boxers that complemented the pink streaks in his bedazzled beard. But despite his wispy attire, the group still kowtowed to him.
Mori: I hereby grant OP *TEN* minutes of solitude on the back porch. FPB, you will use this time to meditate. Think about what it means to be kind to your significant other. Think about what it means to show empathy and acceptance. Think about what it means to enjoy the company of your fellow chummers.
I slipped outside and inhaled the pleasant dusk that was beginning to fill the air. And I found myself feeling indebted to Mori and wondering if this was some sort of cult indoctrination malarkey... or if he’d just known FPB longer than any of the rest of us and had learned how to effectively handle him. And then I decided that it didn’t matter. I finally had the peace and quiet I so desperately needed.
But how *did* FPB know that Axton was flirting with me? I thought we’d both been pretty covert about it. Uhhh... In front of FPB, at least. I decided that he didn’t actually know. He was constantly accusing male friends of “trying to bang me” when there was not even the slightest hint of attraction on anyone’s part. It was a numbers game. If you throw out hundreds of accusations, one might happen to stick. And then you can say, “I TOLD YOU SO.”
I often felt like an alternate universe version of Anne Boleyn, imprisoned by a skinny and even madder version of the famous king. FPB certainly fancied himself a regal figure, worthy of everyone’s fealty. Wait... was Henry VIII the OG neckbeard??? (note... I thought I had made an original observation here, but I came across a year-old post on ReddXReads from u/Raidan1084, so props to you for beating me to this observation!!!)
My unfocused mind ran amuck for a bit longer, and the ten minutes were almost up when I heard a quiet voice calling my name from around the side of the house.
I rounded the corner to answer.
It was Athena.
Athena: OP, I know it’s none of my business, but FPB is a douchebag. That girl who came to the door last night? She’s one of his hook-ups.
I laughed a little. “I know. He’s got loads of them... Hey, do you mind if I ask you a stupid question that I ask myself all the time?”
Athena: Sure.
Me: Why do you guys put up with his shit?
Athena: He and Mori have been best friends since before the team formed. He’s kind of a “package deal.” If we want to keep Mori as our GM, we have to accept FPB. And Mori does run a really fun campaign.
Me: So if he ever crosses a line with Mori, he’s out?
Athena: That’s what we’ve all been hoping for! But Mori’s insanely patient with FPB.
We sighed and returned inside.
FPB was sitting in sulky silence, staring at his polished Chelsea boots. I took a seat on the other side of the room, next to Mori.
Mori: You good?
I nodded.
Mori whispered, “You want some coke?”
Me: Shhhhhh!!! No, I don’t do that!
Mori mouthed, “Adderall?”
I smiled and mouthed, “Later.”
Mori stood. “Tonight, we are making a seating chart. There are six numbers on the floor. You will each draw a number from my underwear, and you will sit on the corresponding number. Is that clear?”
Everyone bellowed in unison, “YES, GAME MASTER.”
This was exciting! I had a decent chance of not having to sit by FPB that night! I was completely fed up with his constant criticism of my character sheets and his suggestions for future moves. He was messing me up more than he was helping.
Mori took a seat on a throw pillow, shoved 6 folded pieces of paper down the back of his boxers and called us up, one by one, to draw our numbers from his drawers.
Being the newbie, I was the last to draw.
Mori: Get all the way up in dat crack, OP.
I laughed and fished the paper out of Mori’s boxers.
FPB took a loud breath and fumed, “MORI, YOU FU...”
Sage put a hand on FPB’s chest, and said very sternly, “Take it down a notch.”
Mori: Tonight, we will find peace amongst ourselves and rain fire and terror on the mega-corporations! Are you with me???”
“WE’RE WITH YOU, GAME MASTER.”
Mori: Then inspect your numbers and take your seats. You should also feel free to sniff the papers.
No one did that.
I got #3. Motherfucker. FPB was sitting to my right. But at least Athena was sitting to my left. I felt like I could trust her, and I felt like she would call him out if he pulled any more of his rage crap. Tragically, Axton was sitting to FPB’s right. That wasn’t going to go well. Snorlax was sitting to Athena’s left, and Sage was in his usual spot, as Mori’s right hand. So it went: tech, muscle, tech, magic, muscle, magic. Not ideal.
Mori surveyed the room. “Not at all how I had hoped,” he muttered. “But nevertheless! The team has been assembled. The time has come...”
“PRE-GAME!!!!!!”
I actually knew what to shout this time. I remembered to pound on my chest, and I looked to Athena in an attempt to learn the tribal dance. I got close enough.
We charged into the fuel station. I stood by the non-threatening triad of shots, while all the other team members stood before their seven shots.
Mori: Fireball. Each tincture shall light a fire in our bellies, improve out spell-casting, and lead us to victory. Chummers... DRINK!!!
I slammed two shots and picked up the third to nurse during the game. Just like the night before, all the other players downed their seven shots with astounding ease.
We returned to the War Room and took our assigned seats.
Mori: The Rules!
Everyone groaned, just as they had previously. Apparently, this was customary.
Mori: If you glitch, you must take a shot of Fireball to boost your skills. OP, you may take a SIP of an alcoholic beverage. You may also do a bump of coke.
FPB clenched his fists, gritted his teeth, and growled. This was delighting me to no end!!! Not only might I get a little taste of my former favorite drug for the first time in YEARS, but Mori also seemed to be actively antagonizing FPB. It was delicious.
And here’s one for the philosophers: AITA... If you’re antagonizing the asshole, doesn’t that kind of make you the hero?
Mori: The second time you glitch, you must kiss my staff or endure a smack in the face from my staff. FPB, you must suffer The Lap of Luxury upon your second glitch... Or if you misbehave.
FPB: Explain that.
Mori: It will become clear in good time, my sweet little Samurai.
FPB shifted uncomfortably. I bit my lip to keep from laughing.
Mori: All subsequent glitches will result in escalating staff punishments, the anal gaze, removal of armor, or a spanking. Anything the team deems an epic success shall be rewarded with a shot of Johnny Walker Blue. And my trusted Assistant GM has a few new rules to add, just for the time being. Sage the Mage, the floor is yours.
Sage: We can’t afford to pay for another round of professional cleaning for... the time being. We are now asking that ALL team members please use the restroom if you must pee, poop, or puke. Gentlemen, feel free to pee in the backyard, but please refrain from peeing on the porch. Thank you. Back to you, Game Master.
Mori: Place your hand on your chest and pledge your loyalty if you agree to this; and take off your pants if you object.
FPB put his hands near the button of his trousers. Everyone watched him with bated breath. But then he placed his hand on his chest.
Mori: Then we continue planning the station takeover... NOW!
We had barely gotten through two combat turns when Mori decided it was time for leftover Taco Bell, more liquor, and pornography. Tonight, Snorlax rolled for Bat Pussy, an older film that is widely considered to be the Plan 9 from Outer Space of porn. It was definitely on the “softcore” side since no one ever actually banged. It’s a spoof on Batman, and the main character gets a little “twitch” DOWN THERE whenever she needs to go fight crime. I found it wildly entertaining!
In fact, I laughed hysterically throughout the entire movie. Most of us did. FPB even snorted once or twice. As the main character was bouncing on a hippity hop alongside the highway, wearing a cheap costume, I was howling with laughter. Possibly because everyone was a little drunk and the drunken laughter was contagious, possibly because it really was absurdly funny. Or both.
FPB: It’s not THAT funny.
Me (gasping): I can’t help it! This is bat-shit crazy!
Mori: We gotta get OP a Batgirl costume and a hippity hop!
Me: You’re ON! I will absolutely do that! When can we film it???
FPB: You’re gonna recreate a scene from a PORNO??? With MORI???
Sage: Dude! WHAT is sexual about this scene? It’s ridiculous. That’s why we’re all cracking up!
FPB: You have to understand. I’m an intellectual...
I was painfully familiar with the insufferable tripe that typically followed this statement. Apparently, so was the Shadowrun crew. Everyone groaned dismissively. And then something vaguely resembling a sex scene started up, and Mori shushed us all.
Mori: Shhhh! It might finally get good!
It didn’t. Not in the way Mori meant.
The movie ended, most of us lit a ciggy, and we all returned to our assigned seats.
Mori: Shall we refuel before we resume?
A chorus of “HELL YEAH” rang out. I wasn’t in the mood for booze. I was once again beginning to fade around this time, and I needed to find a way to get some Adderall from Mori without FPB noticing. It had already been an incredibly long day for me, even though I had been having fun (aside from having to tend to FPB’s nonsense). Maybe the beardo boyfriend was the reason I was getting exhausted at these gatherings.
Constantly having to talk him down from a temper tantrum, having him constantly looking over my shoulder and scrutinizing my every move, suffering through his ceaseless (and useless) suggestions for my next move, having to defend myself for not drinking enough, then having to turn around and defend myself when I decided to have an extra shot, enduring his seething wrath every time I so much as spoke to Mori or Axton... It was exhausting.
As everyone was refueling, FPB had managed to trap Sage and Athena and was lecturing them about why it was disrespectful to FEMALES to combine humor with sex.
FPB: To make a mockery of the female anatomy, and then to depict sexual acts so crudely is offensive to me as a feminist.
Athena: YOU’RE a feminist?
FPB: Obviously. I would lay down my life to defend the sacred honor of the feminine spirit.
Sage: I’m pretty sure it was just a bad movie. Plus, the superhero was a woman, so...
FPB: But they had to make her superpowers connected to her genitals. That’s objectification. It’s not funny, even if it’s meant to be “so bad, it’s funny.” I’m offended.
I wasn’t part of the discussion, but I interjected, “I feel like humor can be sexy. Being able to laugh during sexual experiences can create a bond. And if both partners are deliberately goofing off, what’s offensive about that?”
Axton raised his glass in approval. I couldn’t help smiling at him.
FPB: Oh, Miss Sex Therapist knows everything.
Me: I don’t know anything. Clearly. It’s just an opinion. Based on research. That I learned in graduate school.
FPB: Some idiots actually researched LAUGHING during sex? That can’t be a real thing.
Me: I’ll print out the articles.
FPB: From where? Hustler?
I didn’t have the energy to argue with him.
Me: Yes. I cite Hustler in all my papers.
Axton: I’ve read the same thing. Laughing releases endorphins. Sex releases endorphins. Plus, why do you think adult novelty stores are always so funny? The elephant trunk underwear?
Mori: I have a pair of those.
Of course he did.
FPB: You want a bottle smashed over your head, Axton? STOP TALKING TO MY GIRLFRIEND ABOUT YOUR DICK.
Me: FPB, he literally said nothing about his dick.
FPB: WRONG. He was *agreeing* with you. He’s trying to ingratiate himself. Because he’s thinking with his DICK.
I rolled my eyes.
Mori saved us by clapping his hands. “Back to the War Room, chummers!”
We headed back, and Mori was following close behind me. He tugged on one of my pigtails. I turned around to see him holding an Adderall in the palm of his hand. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure FPB wasn’t watching. He was too busy staring daggers at Axton. I snatched the pill, thanked Mori, and slipped it in my mouth.
When my turn came around, my sleaze failed, and the security subnet sent my coordinates to the mainframe. It was my first glitch of the evening, and I didn’t want to pile cocaine on top of Adderall. So I had to take a sip of an alcoholic beverage. Since I didn’t have one of my own, FPB offered me his Jack & Pepper (Jack Daniels and Dr. Pepper... 90% Jack, 10% Pepper).
Me: Is anybody drinking a beer? Or something a little less potent?
Snorlax offered me a sip of his beer.
Me: You’re sure you don’t mind?
Snorlax: It’s all good. Have a sip.
FPB was fuming again.
Snorlax handed me his beer and I took a sip.
Me: Thank you.
FPB: You’re drinking after another man??? You didn’t even wipe off the mouth of the bottle first? UGH! It’s like you’re kissing him!
Snorlax started making kissy sounds at me. I made them back. Everyone laughed. Everyone but FPB, of course.
Please remember that this was in the Before Times...
I sat back down. FPB pulled me into his lap and growled, “Snorlax now? Really?”
I twisted to look him in the face and said through clenched teeth, “It was a sip of beer.”
FBP kept one long arm tightly wound around me and used his free hand to slug back loud gulps of Jack & Pepper. I dared to glance over at Axton. We locked eyes for a few seconds, but Axton abruptly whipped his head around to face Mori.
FPB roared, “WERE YOU JUST LOOKING AT MY GIRLFRIEND, FUCK-WALLET???”
Sweet Athena spoke up.
Athena: Funky. Seriously. We’re supposed to be a team. We can’t even look at each other? Mori, can we outlaw the outbursts? We’re never even gonna get past the planning phase if FPB keeps screaming at every single person who interacts with OP.”
Mori: I’m inclined to agree with you, Athena. FPB, why did you invite your girlfriend here if you didn’t want her to play our game and get to know us?
I felt FPB take a deep breath in preparation to react inappropriately to Mori’s innocuous question.
Mori was able to effectively silence him by simply lifting his hand. Dude, he was gonna have to teach me his tricks!
Mori: We’d like to be able to get to know her in peace. OP, would you like to get to know us in peace?
Me: Yes. I really would.
Mori: FPB, these outbursts have earned you a new punishment... The Lap of Luxury. Get on over here, Tall Boy.
Mori patted his lap.
FPB: Are you serious?
Mori: I am. You sit right here until I say you may rise.
FPB didn’t move.
Mori: Should you refuse, OP can come sit in my lap. (Better Mori’s lap than FPB’s.)
FPB scrambled up, sending me flying out of his lap. I gleefully lit a cigarette and made googlie eyes at Axton that were sure to go unnoticed by the incredibly incensed FPB.
FPB awkwardly folded himself into Mori’s lap, grunting and grumbling the entire time. The rest of the team was desperately trying not to laugh (which of course, made it even funnier).
Once he had settled in (as much as he could), we continued the planning phase. Athena was successful, so was Snorlax, so was Sage. But Axton glitched. This was sure to be a problem. Mori was stuck under FPB, so he was unable to “whip it out” and administer the customary punishment.
Mori: Axton, remove a piece of your armor.
Axton reached around with one hand and pulled his t-shirt off in a single fluid motion. I’m quite certain that my pupils noticeably dilated. The rest of the room “whooped” like we were at a Chip ‘n Dales show.
FPB looked like some sort of cartoon villain who had just been foiled. As he sat indignantly upon the Mori Throne, he twitched and shifted, snarling curses, teeth gritted. And then he froze. His eyes widened. He started to stand, but Mori wrapped his arms around him tightly, trapping him in the Lap of Luxury.
FPB: YOU HAVE A HARD-ON, BRO. LET ME THE FUCK GO.
I squealed with laughter. And it seemed that I had been right about Mori letting people off the hook when they were legitimately uncomfortable with the “gross-out” punishments, because Mori loosened his grip, allowing FPB stomp off to the back porch.
“OP! OP! OOOOOOOO PPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!,” FPB screamed from the porch.
Mori: OP, you’re free to go tend to his meltdown if you want to. But I’m happy to handle him if you need a break.
Me: I definitely need a break.
Mori got up to tend to the bearded ball of rage.
I heard a bit of unintelligible yelling, then the door slammed. We all looked at each other with something across between nervousness and bemusement, waiting for someone to speak. I decided to break the silence...

Bit of background: My gf and I met over a dating app in Feb 2022. Since then, we've had a loving and supportive relationship, but as time has gone on, I've become more uncomfortable with how dependent she's become. In previous relationships she's had, they haven't lasted more than a few months and they've usually ended up with her being abused in one way or another (these stories have been corroborated by her friends). Knowing this, I made it my mission to build her up, as she had very low self confidence and kept putting herself down in the relationship and in other aspects of her life. When we first got together, I was in the middle of saving money to try and move into my own place (I was in the middle of a job change during the pandemic and had to move home since the place I was due to start cancelled my contract before furlough was announced). I found myself in debt and have slowly got to a position where I can move out of my parent's place. She was a live in Au Pair, just having moved out from her mother's house in France (she was born in the UK). As time has gone on, though, I've started to get worried. The first thing was her attitude to saving. She plays very fast and very loose with finances. She doesn't understand that I'm still trying to claw my way out of debt and have extra bills to pay. The first debate we had was about getting lifts from me. She doesn't drive, so she would expect me to take her places. When I started asking for petrol contributions, she protested. After her friends convinced her that it was actually a fair request, she agreed to it, but I noticed that if I forgot to ask for it immediately or say I was making a note of it, we'd have arguments about whether she actually owed it or not, as she thought she'd be getting it for free. She would also need to spend money that we needed to save for our flat by insisting we spend new years in the city that was near us, rather than going out locally for a fraction of the cost. Usually, I would have to front these events as well, and the new years in question ended up costing me a lot due to a dispute with booking accommodation. I noticed, she didn't get burned with her lack of organisation, I kept getting burned. Fast forward to early May 2023, we've now moved into our flat, and I've been treating this as the start of our lives together, only, I've started to notice things that are worrying me. For a long time now, she has been complaining about her job as a chef, saying she can't do it for the next 20-30 years of her life, which I agree with. I started suggesting education to her, which she initially was curious about, but since then she's gone off the idea. Every Uni course she looked at, she would find a single module she didn't like the look of and would write off the entire degree. She would also say that she doesn't want to commit to 3-4 years of studying as she might change her mind about what she wants to do part way through. I didn't say much to that, except that other people also go through that and that it's not a huge problem, grit your teeth and finish the degree then get a job doing something else. I originally trained as a teacher and switched to programming during the pandemic, so I understand the worry she has. I then suggested some form of in work training (like an apprenticeship), but she's not keen on that idea either, as she, again, waste a load of time on something she doesn't want to do in the future. It was at this point I started losing interest and just said that the type of career she says she wants requires training, so she either commits to the training and gets what she wants, or she keeps doing what she's doing now. She didn't seem to like that answer. Then the catalyst for all of this happened a few days ago. She was nervous and wanted to talk to me about what she wants to do in the future. I stopped what I was doing and gave her my full attention, being sure to try and keep my face as even as possible. She wants to go into business working with Cakes, Tattoos and crafts. Not one of them, all three at the same time. She's waiting for the earning from my job to increase so she can quit her job to focus on this. Due to the fact she kept talking about it, I must have had a good poker face, as I was very upset on the inside. She wants the ability to run all three businesses by herself and to switch between them when she wants so she doesn't get bored with one thing. I haven't spoken to her about it yet, since I think it's unrealistic and I get the feeling that this is just a way that she can become a stay at home partner who doesn't need to work. I always though to run a successful business that you need to throw yourself into it heart and soul, with most people starting it whilst they still have a full time job, not to mention that all 3 of the business fields she's chosen are extremely competitive. I know when I bring this up with her, that it's going to upset her and appear unsupportive, but I've felt put upon by her in one way or another for a while. AITA for not wanting to support a partner whose ideas, frankly, have very little chance of working?

^{Bit of background: My gf and I met over a dating app in Feb 2022. Since then, we've had a loving and supportive relationship, but as time has gone on, I've become more uncomfortable with how dependent she's become. In previous relationships she's had, they haven't lasted more than a few months and they've usually ended up with her being abused in one way or another (these stories have been corroborated by her friends}. Knowing this, I made it my mission to build her up, as she had very low self confidence and kept putting herself down in the relationship and in other aspects of her life.) ^{When we first got together, I was in the middle of saving money to try and move into my own place (I was in the middle of a job change during the pandemic and had to move home since the place I was due to start cancelled my contract before furlough was announced}. I found myself in debt and have slowly got to a position where I can move out of my parent's place. She was a live in Au Pair, just having moved out from her mother's house in France (she was born in the UK).) ^{As time has gone on, though, I've started to get worried. The first thing was her attitude to saving. She plays very fast and very loose with finances. She doesn't understand that I'm still trying to claw my way out of debt and have extra bills to pay. The first debate we had was about getting lifts from me. She doesn't drive, so she would expect me to take her places. When I started asking for petrol contributions, she protested. After her friends convinced her that it was actually a fair request, she agreed to it, but I noticed that if I forgot to ask for it immediately or say I was making a note of it, we'd have arguments about whether she actually owed it or not, as she thought she'd be getting it for free. She would also need to spend money that we needed to save for our flat by insisting we spend new years in the city that was near us, rather than going out locally for a fraction of the cost. Usually, I would have to front these events as well, and the new years in question ended up costing me a lot due to a dispute with booking accommodation. I noticed, she didn't get burned with her lack of organisation, I kept getting burned. Fast forward to early May 2023, we've now moved into our flat, and I've been treating this as the start of our lives together, only, I've started to notice things that are worrying me. For a long time now, she has been complaining about her job as a chef, saying she can't do it for the next 20-30 years of her life, which I agree with. I started suggesting education to her, which she initially was curious about, but since then she's gone off the idea. Every Uni course she looked at, she would find a single module she didn't like the look of and would write off the entire degree. She would also say that she doesn't want to commit to 3-4 years of studying as she might change her mind about what she wants to do part way through. I didn't say much to that, except that other people also go through that and that it's not a huge problem, grit your teeth and finish the degree then get a job doing something else. I originally trained as a teacher and switched to programming during the pandemic, so I understand the worry she has. I then suggested some form of in work training (like an apprenticeship}, but she's not keen on that idea either, as she, again, waste a load of time on something she doesn't want to do in the future. It was at this point I started losing interest and just said that the type of career she says she wants requires training, so she either commits to the training and gets what she wants, or she keeps doing what she's doing now. She didn't seem to like that answer.) ^{Then the catalyst for all of this happened a few days ago. She was nervous and wanted to talk to me about what she wants to do in the future. I stopped what I was doing and gave her my full attention, being sure to try and keep my face as even as possible. She wants to go into business working with Cakes, Tattoos and crafts. Not one of them, all three at the same time. She's waiting for the earning from my job to increase so she can quit her job to focus on this. Due to the fact she kept talking about it, I must have had a good poker face, as I was very upset on the inside. She wants the ability to run all three businesses by herself and to switch between them when she wants so she doesn't get bored with one thing. I haven't spoken to her about it yet, since I think it's unrealistic and I get the feeling that this is just a way that she can become a stay at home partner who doesn't need to work. I always though to run a successful business that you need to throw yourself into it heart and soul, with most people starting it whilst they still have a full time job, not to mention that all 3 of the business fields she's chosen are extremely competitive. I know when I bring this up with her, that it's going to upset her and appear unsupportive, but I've felt put upon by her in one way or another for a while. AITA for not wanting to support a partner whose ideas, frankly, have very little change of working?}

I am interested in majoring in business administration with a focus on finance. After lurking around these financial subreddits I have come across many people who seem to be going through difficulties getting a job in the industry. People who have fantastic resumes without gaps of unemployment. This is what scares me if I am to go through this process and come out with a degree. If those with a good resume are having difficulties getting an interview, then I feel when an employer looks at my resume my early life will be a reason I don't get a job or interview. I understand the finance industry is about having a clean respectable work history, but I feel finance reads more into work history than other fields and the competition will beat me out. My resume will look as follows.
I left high school, went to college in 2015 for three semesters and worked at a supermarket in the summer. I dropped out after my third semester, waited a couple months then continued working at the supermarket in March 2017. After 3 months started working 2 jobs by also getting a job at a hotel for 8 months starting in June. I left the hotel job in February of 2018. Then left the supermarket job in may of 2018. I went over a year without working then got a seasonal delivery job in October of 2019 where I was laid off in march of 2020. I didn't work again until October of 2020. From October 2020 - June 2021 I started 2 jobs and left immediately so no real work history there. It wasn't until June of 2021 I worked delivery for a year and a Half until leaving in December 2022. It is now June and I am applying for jobs again.
I am capable of being a strong consistent employee, but my resume does not show it. The reason I plan on using for why I had inconsistency in my employment is because my father is getting old and incapable of doing things on his own. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's and requires a lot of supervision and help around the house completing daily tasks. My time off of work was spent by helping him. Without mentioning my own mental health struggles this is the only reason I have as to why I was unemployed.
Going into a competitive field like finance I don't see my work history playing out well with future employers. Although I plan on working full time while also being a full time student for the next 4 years. I am hoping to get into a company that reimburses tuition as I work for them. I also know that others will be able to have internships in relative fields that will boost their resumes while I may not get the chance to have such internships. I am currently applying for fidelity and I am only in the stage of an initial interview. I am about to turn 27. I know I am very behind here but I am trying to put myself on course for success.
My question is, after knowing how my resume would likely appear after graduation. How do you feel I would fair going into the job market? Should I pursue this career in the finance/business administration industry? Or should I look elsewhere and possibly go after a degree in healthcare as the negatives of my previous employment history may not stand out as much. Maybe another degree will help me fir better in a different job market.
Any help is appreciated and thanks for reading.

	HOUSE	FRAGRANCE	SIZE	REMAINING	Notes/Condition	Price	Type
1	Amouage	Incense Rori Attar	12mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$439	Niche
2	Amouage	Material (Woman)	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; Tester Cap	$145	Niche
3	Amouage	Orris Wakan Attar	12mL	99% Full	Full Presentation	$419	Niche
4	Amouage	Rose Aqor Attar	12mL	99% Full	Full Presentation	$419	Niche
5	Amouage	Vanilla Barka Attar	12mL	99% Full	Full Presentation	$419	Niche
6	Andy Tauer	Cologne du Maghreb	50mL	99% Full	First Release, Rectangular Clear Bottle; With box	$95	Niche
7	Bond No. 9	Hamptons	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$125	Niche
8	Bond No. 9	Madison Square Park	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$135	Niche
9	By Kilian	Apple Brandy on the Rocks	50mL	99% Full	Full Presentation, Box has some wear.	$160	Niche
10	By Kilian	Bamboo Harmony	100mL	100% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray)	$209	Niche
11	By Kilian	Black Phantom	100mL	100% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray)	$215	Niche
12	By Kilian	Gold Knight	100mL	100% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray)	$209	Niche
13	By Kilian	Good Girl Gone Bad	250mL	99% Full	Decanter; No Box	$800	Niche
14	By Kilian	Intoxicated	100mL	100% Full	Tester Refill (No Spray)	$209	Niche
15	By Kilian	Love Don't Be Shy	50mL	99% Full	Full Presentation, Box has some wear.	$160	Niche
16	By Kilian	Love Don't Be Shy Extreme	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$195	Niche
17	Byredo	Infloresence	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Niche
18	Byredo	Lil Fleur	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Niche
19	Byredo	Mixed Emotions	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Niche
20	Byredo	Mumbai Noise	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Niche
21	Byredo	Sunday Cologne	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Niche
22	Chanel Exclusif	Misia EdT	200mL	95% Full	Vintage Discontinued Formula; No Box	$350	Niche
23	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Bois D'Argent	7.5mL	100% Full	Official Mini	$30	Niche
24	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Bois D'Argent	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 0V01 (2010 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$35	Niche
25	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Cologne Royale	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 1X01 (2011 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
26	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Diorissima	7.5mL	100% Full	Official Mini; No Cannister - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
27	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Eau Noire	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 1R01 (2011 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$35	Niche
28	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Eden Roc	7.5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
29	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Granville	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 0V01 (2010 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$35	Niche
30	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Milly-La-Foret	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 0W01 (2010 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
31	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	Mitzah	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 1W01 (2011 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$35	Niche
32	Christian Dior / Dior Privee	New Look 1947	5mL	100% Full	Official Mini - Batch Code 1R01 (2011 Production Date) - Price includes shipping	$30	Niche
33	Clive Christian	I Pour Femme (Woody Floral with Vintage Rose)	50mL	99% Full	No Box	$180	Niche
34	Clive Christian	Rock Rose	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$289	Niche
35	Creed	Acqua Florentina - F Batch	75mL	95% Full	Box, Can add a Creed Cap as well	$175	Niche
36	Creed	Aventus - 22A11A	100mL	100% Full	Full Presentation	$250	Niche
37	Creed	Aventus Cologne - 2022 Batch	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$229	Niche
38	Creed	Aventus Cologne - F Batch (Plastic Cap)	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed in Box	$239	Niche
39	Creed	Aventus for Her - F567	75mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$185	Niche
40	Creed	Erolfa - 15X01	120mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$349	Niche
41	Creed	Erolfa - F Batch	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$160	Niche
42	Creed	Green Irish Tweed - 19U11	50mL	99% Full	No Cap	$139	Niche
43	Creed	Green Irish Tweed - 2022 Batch	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$195	Niche
44	Creed	Himalaya - 22B01A	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Square Style Cap	$175	Niche
45	Creed	Millesime Imperial - F Batch	100mL	100% Full	Comes with Box and SQUARE Older Style Cap.	$180	Niche
46	Creed	Neroli Sauvage - F241	100mL	100% Full	Comes with Box and SQUARE Older Style Cap.	$180	Niche
47	Creed	Original Santal - F511	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$160	Niche
48	Creed	Royal Mayfair - 15R01	120mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$229	Niche
49	Creed	Royal Oud - F BATCH	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$250	Niche
50	Creed	Royal Water - 20C01N	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Square Style Cap	$175	Niche
51	Creed	Silver Mountain Water - 21V01A	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Square Style Cap	$180	Niche
52	Creed	Spring Flowers 2023	75mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$209	Niche
53	Creed	Tabarome - 21Y01A	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$160	Niche
54	Creed	Viking - F512	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$205	Niche
55	Creed	Virgin Island Water - F473	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$195	Niche
56	Creed	White Amber - 17W01	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$149	Niche
57	Creed	White Flowers	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$200	Niche
58	Creed	Wind Flowers - 22C01B	75mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap	$199	Niche
59	DS & DURGA	Amber Kiso	100mL	100% Full	New, No Box	$125	Niche
60	Frederic Malle	Eau de Magnolia	10mL	100% Full	Official Travel Spray	$55	Niche
61	Gallagher	Bergamot Silk	100mL	99% Full		$84	Niche
62	Giorgio Armani / Armani Prive	Gardenia Antigua	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$155	Niche
63	Giorgio Armani / Armani Prive	Pierre de Lune	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$155	Niche
64	Giorgio Armani / Armani Prive	Rose Alexandrie	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$155	Niche
65	Guerlain	Angelique Noire	30mL	100% Full	Mini Bee Bottle Decant	$215	Niche
66	Guerlain	Angelique Noire	10mL	100% Full	Tall Glass Decant	$55	Niche
67	Guerlain	Bois D'Armenie	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$379	Niche
68	Guerlain	Cherry Oud	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$279	Niche
69	Guerlain	Cruel Gardenia	200mL	95% Full	Tester; No Box	$319	Niche
70	Guerlain	Embruns D'Ylang	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$339	Niche
71	Guerlain	Epices Volee	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$339	Niche
72	Guerlain	Gourmand Coquin	10mL	100% Full	Tall Glass Decant	$60	Niche
73	Guerlain	Herbes Troublantes	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$339	Niche
74	Guerlain	Joyeuse Tuberuese	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$349	Niche
75	Guerlain	Musc Outreblanc	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$349	Niche
76	Guerlain	Oeillet Pourpre	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$339	Niche
77	Guerlain	Oud Nude	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$349	Niche
78	Guerlain	Rose Barbare	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$339	Niche
79	Guerlain	Rose Barbare	200mL	90% Full	DECANTED - NO ORIGINAL BOTTLE	$250	Niche
80	Guerlain	Santal Pao Rosa	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$349	Niche
81	Guerlain	Tonka Imperiale	30mL	100% Full	Mini Bee Bottle Decant	$199	Niche
82	Guerlain	Tonka Imperiale	10mL	100% Full	Tall Glass Decant	$55	Niche
83	Hermes / Hermessence	Agar Ebene	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$150	Niche
84	Hermes / Hermessence	Brin de Reglisse	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
85	Hermes / Hermessence	Cedre Sambac	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
86	Hermes / Hermessence	Epice Marine	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$170	Niche
87	Hermes / Hermessence	Iris Ukiyoe	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$150	Niche
88	Hermes / Hermessence	Muguet Porcelaine	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
89	Hermes / Hermessence	Myrrhe Eglantine	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$185	Niche
90	Hermes / Hermessence	Osmanthe Yunnan	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$150	Niche
91	Hermes / Hermessence	Paprika Brasil	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$170	Niche
92	Hermes / Hermessence	Santal Massoia	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$170	Niche
93	Hermes / Hermessence	Vanille Galante	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$150	Niche
94	Hermes / Hermessence	Vetiver Tonka	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box, No Cap	$150	Niche
95	Hermes / Hermessence	Vetiver Tonka	200mL	100% Full	Full Presentation, Brand New.	$399	Niche
96	Hermes / Hermessence	Violette Volynka	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$185	Niche
97	Hiram Green	Vetiver	50mL	95% Full	Full Presentation	$130	Niche
98	House of Sillage	Hufflepuff	75mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$325	Niche
99	House of Sillage	Nouez Moi	75mL	99% Full	Tester	$120	Niche
100	I Profumi di Firenze	Caterina De Medici	50mL	99% Full	No Box	$35	Niche
101	Initio	Side Effect	10mL	100% Full	Official Travel Atomizer	$75	Niche
102	Knize	Knize Ten	125mL	99% Full	No Box	$110	Niche
103	Le Labo	Another 13	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$189	Niche
104	Le Labo	Baie 19	100mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$225	Niche
105	Le Labo	Cedrat 37 – Berlin City Exclusive	100mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$275	Niche
106	Le Labo	Cedrat 37 – Berlin City Exclusive	50mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$225	Niche
107	Le Labo	Gaiac 10 – Tokyo City Exclusive	100mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$400	Niche
108	Le Labo	Mousse de Chene 30 - Amsterdam City Exclusive	50mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$300	Niche
109	Le Labo	Musc 25 – Los Angeles City Exclusive	50mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$250	Niche
110	Le Labo	Rose 31	50mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$175	Niche
111	Le Labo	Tabac 28 – Miami City Exclusive	50mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$250	Niche
112	Le Labo	The Noir 29	50mL	99% Full	Sprayed Once to Test / Brand New; No Box	$175	Niche
113	Maison Crivelli	Bois Datchai	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$169	Niche
114	Maison Crivelli	Rose Saltifolia	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$159	Niche
115	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	724	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$365	Niche
116	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	724	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
117	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Amyris Femme Extrait Special Edition Bottle	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$245	Niche
118	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Celestia	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$115	Niche
119	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Celestia Cologne Forte	200mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$279	Niche
120	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Celestia Cologne Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$149	Niche
121	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Celestia Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$159	Niche
122	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Media Cologne Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Cap	$175	Niche
123	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Universalis Cologne Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$119	Niche
124	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Universalis EdT	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$219	Niche
125	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$219	Niche
126	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae Cologne Forte	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$119	Niche
127	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Aqua Vitae Forte EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$159	Niche
128	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Baccarat Rouge 540 EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$205	Niche
129	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Baccarat Rouge 540 EdP	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$409	Niche
130	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Gentle Fluidity Gold	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
131	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Grand Soir	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$170	Niche
132	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	L'eau a La Rose	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$129	Niche
133	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	L'eau a la Rose	35mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$90	Niche
134	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	L'homme A la Rose	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$159	Niche
135	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$170	Niche
136	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud Extrait	10mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$35	Niche
137	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud Satin Mood EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$190	Niche
138	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud Silk Mood EdP	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Cap	$170	Niche
139	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Oud Silk Mood Extrait	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Cap	$190	Niche
140	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Petit Matin	70mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$145	Niche
141	Maison Francis Kurkdjian	Petit Matin	200mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$350	Niche
142	Maison Lancome	Orange Bigarades	100mL	100% Full	Full presentation with Box	$229	Niche
143	Mark Birley	Charles Street	75mL	97% Full	Travel Version	$90	Niche
144	Masque Milano	Tango	35mL	99% Full		$90	Niche
145	Memo Paris	French Leather	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Cap	$135	Niche
146	Memo Paris	Inle	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Cap	$135	Niche
147	Memo Paris	Italian Leather	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box or Cap	$135	Niche
148	Memo Paris	Lailabella	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$135	Niche
149	Memo Paris	Marfa	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$135	Niche
150	Memo Paris	Moon Fever	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$135	Niche
151	Memo Paris	Oriental Leather	75mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box; No Cap	$135	Niche
152	Mind Games	Caissa	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$250	Niche
153	Mind Games	Gardez (Black Queen)	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$225	Niche
154	Mind Games	Scholar's Mate	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$225	Niche
155	Mizensir	Cologne de Figuer	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$175	Niche
156	Mizensir	Cologne de Matte	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$175	Niche
157	Mizensir	Ideal Oud	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
158	Mizensir	Luxury	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Cap	$165	Niche
159	Mizensir	Mythique Vetiver	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$175	Niche
160	Mizensir	Sweet Prailine	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
161	Mizensir	Bois de Mysore	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
162	Mona di Orio	Cuir	75mL	99% Full	No Box	$120	Niche
163	Oliver and Co.	M.O.U.S.S.E.	50mL	99% Full	Limited Edition 87/133	$110	Niche
164	Parfums de Nicolai	Patchouli Intense	100mL	98% Full	Full Presentation	$119	Niche
165	Perris Monte Carlo	Tuberuese Absolue	100mL	99% Full	No Box	$99	Niche
166	Pomare's Stolen Perfume	Angel's Share	9mL	70% Full	No Box	$40	Niche
167	Roja Dove	Apex Discovery Atomizer	7.5mL	99% Full		$50	Niche
168	Roja Dove	Creation-E Essence de Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
169	Roja Dove	Scandal Essence de Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$165	Niche
170	Roman Monegal	L'eau de Rose	50mL	97% Full		$70	Niche
171	Santa Maria Novella	Sandalo	100mL	95% Full	No Box	$80	Niche
172	The Harmonist	Desired Earth Eau de Parfum	50mL	100% Full	Brand new, Sealed	$219	Niche
173	The Harmonist	Magnetic Wood Parfum	50mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$229	Niche
174	Tom Ford	Beau de Jour	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$1,000	Niche
175	Tom Ford	Ebene Fume	250mL	99% Full	Decanter; No Box	$750	Niche
176	Tom Ford	Ebene Fume	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$170	Niche
177	Tom Ford	Fougere Platine	250mL	90% Full	Decanter; No Box	$625	Niche
178	Tom Ford	Fougere Platine	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$1,000	Niche
179	Tom Ford	Fucking Fabulous	250mL	99% Full	Decanter; No Box	$750	Niche
180	Tom Ford	Fucking Fabulous	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$180	Niche
181	Tom Ford	Grey Vetiver Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Sealed, New in Box	$170	Niche
182	Tom Ford	Oud Fleur	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$1,000	Niche
183	Tom Ford	Oud Wood	250mL	99% Full	Decanter; No Box	$750	Niche
184	Tom Ford	Rose de Chine	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$175	Niche
185	Tom Ford	Rose Prick	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$269	Niche
186	Tom Ford	Soleil Blanc EdP	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$140	Niche
187	Tom Ford	Soleil Brulant	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$145	Niche
188	Tom Ford	Soleil Neige	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$850	Niche
189	Tom Ford	Tobacco Oud	50mL	95% Full	No Box	$180	Niche
190	Tom Ford	Tobacco Vanille	50mL	90% Full	Full Presentation with Box	$155	Niche
191	Tom Ford	Tuscan Leather	50mL	100% Full	Magnetic Cap Decant	$119	Niche
192	Tom Ford	Vert des Bois	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$900	Niche
193	Tom Ford	White Suede	1000mL	100% Full	Sealed Dramming Bottle	$850	Niche
194	TVGA	Milestones Extrait	9mL	90% Full	No Box	$40	Niche
195	Washington Tremlett	Black Tie	100mL	95% Full		$125	Niche
196	Yves Saint Laurent	Tuxedo	250mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$375	Niche
197	Acqua di Parma	Arancia Di Capri	150mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$65	Designer
198	Acqua di Parma	Colonia EdC	100mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$75	Designer
199	Acqua di Parma	Colonia Intensa	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$65	Designer
200	Aqua di Parma	Magnolia Nobile	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$115	Designer
201	Caron	Pour un Homme de Caron Le Matin	125mL	100% Full	Opened to test, sprayed once	$69	Designer
202	Caron	Pour un Homme de Caron Le Soir	125mL	100% Full	Opened to test, sprayed once	$69	Designer
203	Caron	Pour Un Homme Impact Parfum	75mL	97% Full	No Box	$175	Designer
204	Chanel	Allure Homme Sport - Aftershave Balm	100mL	99% Full	No Box	$65	Designer
205	Chanel	Allure Pour Femme EdT	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$65	Designer
206	Chanel	Antaeus	100mL	85% Full	Silver Sprayer	$125	Designer
207	Chanel	Bleu de Chanel - Aftershave Balm	100mL	99% Full	No Box, Minor Cosmetic Damage	$55	Designer
208	Chanel	Bleu de Chanel - Aftershave Lotion	100mL	99% Full	No Box, Minor Cosmetic Damage	$55	Designer
209	Chanel	Bleu de Chanel Parfum	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$130	Designer
210	Chanel	Chance Eau Tendre EdP	50mL	90% Full	Tester; No Box	$90	Designer
211	Chanel	Chance Eau Tendre EdT	150mL	99% Full	Tester; No Box	$120	Designer
212	Chanel	Coco EdP	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$85	Designer
213	Chanel	Coco Mademoiselle - Moisturizing Body Lotion	200mL	99% Full	No Box	$55	Designer
214	Chanel	Coco Mademoiselle EdP	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$90	Designer
215	Chanel	Coco Mademoiselle EdT	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$65	Designer
216	Chanel	Coco Mademoiselle L'eau Privee	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$90	Designer
217	Chanel	Cristalle Eau Vert EdT Concentree	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Designer
218	Chanel	Cristalle EdP	50mL	95% Full	Tester; No Box	$135	Designer
219	Chanel	No. 19	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$115	Designer
220	Chanel	No. 5 Eau Premiere	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$85	Designer
221	Chanel	No. 5 EdP	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$85	Designer
222	Chanel	Platinum Egoiste	75mL	99% Full	SPLASH, NOT SPRAY Older Formulation	$125	Designer
223	Christian Dior	Dior Homme Sport - 2017 Version	125mL	99% Full	Tester; No Box Batch Code is 6Y02	$89	Designer
224	Christian Dior	J'adore in Joy EdT	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap, No Box	$60	Designer
225	Floris	007	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap, No Box	$100	Designer
226	Floris	A Rose For...	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$65	Designer
227	Floris	Cefiro	100mL	100% Full	Tester with Cap, No Box	$59	Designer
228	Floris	Lily of the Valley	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box.	$65	Designer
229	Gucci	Gucci Guilty Absolute	90mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$70	Designer
230	Guerlain	Habit Rouge L'instinct	100mL	99% Full	Sprayed once	$84	Designer
231	Guerlain	L'instant de Guerlain Pour Homme EXTREME	10mL	100% Full	VINTAGE BLACK RIM - DECANT	$50	Designer
232	Hermes	Twilly	80mL	100% Full	Tester; No Box	$65	Designer
233	Jo Malone	Amber & Lavender	30mL	90% Full	No Box	$52	Designer
234	Jo Malone	English Oak & Redcurrant	30mL	80% Full	No Box	$49	Designer
235	Jo Malone	English Pear & Freesia	100mL	100% Full	Brand New with Gift Box and Gift Set (Body Wash, Body Lotion)	$180	Designer
236	Jo Malone	Rose & White Musk Absolu	100mL	100% Full	No Box	$180	Designer
237	Jo Malone	Velvet Rose and Oud Cologne Intense	50mL	99% Full	Tester; No Box	$90	Designer
238	Thierry Mugler	A*MEN	100mL	99% Full	Rubber Flask; No Box	$75	Designer
239	Thierry Mugler	A*MEN Ultra Zest	100mL	85-90% Full	Rubber Flask; No Box	$250	Designer
240	Tom Ford	Costa Azzura Parfum	50mL	100% Full	Brand New, Sealed	$130	Designer
241	Amouage	Cristal and Gold Ladies	50mL	95% Full	Vintage, Incredibly hard to find. Full presentation in nice condition	$399	Vintage
242	Cartier	Santos EdT	100mL	100% Full	Spray; Refill.	$299	Vintage
243	Chanel	Egoiste Cologne Concentree	100mL	97% Full	Bottle Only	$399	Vintage
244	Chanel	Gardenia EdT	100mL	100% Full	Vintage; Sealed	$390	Vintage
245	Crabtree & Evelyn	Crabtree & Evelyn Extract of West Indian and Sicilian Limes	125mL	100% Full	Full presentation with Box	$209	Vintage
246	Dunhill	Cologne	125mL	99% Full	Vintage; Splash	$100	Vintage
247	Escada	Pour Homme Aftershave	75mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$165	Vintage
248	Escada	Pour Homme Aftershave	125mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$240	Vintage
249	Floris	Bay Rum	3.5 Oz	97% Full	Vintage; Splash. "Use as a cologne, after shave lotion, or hair lotion."	$84	Vintage
250	Floris	Special 127	100mL	98% Full	Vintage; Dark Blue Box., 2 Royal Warrants, Vintage Version	$70	Vintage
251	Fragonard	Zizanie	240mL	80% Full	Shaker bottle (Splash, not spray) no box. At least 80% Full.	$240	Vintage
252	Geo F Trumper	Ajaccio Violets	100mL	99% Full		$40	Vintage
253	Gucci	Envy Aftershave	50mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$140	Vintage
254	Gucci	Envy Aftershave	100mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$215	Vintage
255	Gucci	Rush for Men	50mL	100% Full	Full Presentation; These do not come fully filled	$190	Vintage
256	Gucci	Rush for Men Aftershave	100mL	100% Full	BNIB Sealed	$140	Vintage
257	Guerlain	Heritage EdT	200mL	100% Full	New; Vintage; Splash. 1991 Bottle.	$225	Vintage
258	Guerlain	Samrasa EdP	50mL	100% Full	No Box	$109	Vintage
259	Guerlain	Samsara EdT 1992-1993 Formulation	100mL	100% Full	Tester; No Cap; No Box	$109	Vintage
260	Jean Desprez	Bal a Versailles	9 Oz	70% Full	Vintage; Splash; No Box Open to offers on this enormous bottle.	$135	Vintage
261	Lacoste	Eau de Sport Vivifiante	100mL	99% Full	No Box	$110	Vintage
262	Lacoste	Land	100mL	99% Full		$130	Vintage
263	Nino Cerruti	Fair Play Pour Homme	100mL	99% Full	Full presentation with Box	$275	Vintage
264	Paco Rabanne	Eau de Metal	20mL	100% Full	Vintage; Mini	$15	Vintage
265	Ralph Lauren	Silver Romance for Men	100mL	80% Full	No Box, No Cap	$145	Vintage
266	Revillon	Pour Homme Eau de Toilette Super Concentrate	60mL	99% Full	Atomizer	$190	Vintage
267	Revillon	Pour Homme Eau de Toilette Super Concentrate	90mL	99% Full	Atomizer	$290	Vintage​

Main hub thread with the full 131 rankings
I’ve got a LeFevour, and the only prescription is…you finish the sentence.
Central Michigan’s done pretty well for themselves. As an all-time program, they’ve got the 26th highest winning percentage of current Division 1 teams at .589. They’ve produced some NFL greats like probable future Hall of Famer WR Antonio Brown, Hall of Very Good OL Joe Staley, and former #1 pick OL Eric Fisher. CMU finishes 2nd out of the 3 directional Michigan schools, with Western taking the first spot and Eastern finishing last.

Best Seasons and Highlights

1. 2009: 16. Central Michigan: 12-2 (21.788) 2. 1991: 28. Central Michigan: 6-1-4 (13.709) 3. 1983: 28. Central Michigan: 8-3 (11.522) 4. 1984: 28. Central Michigan: 8-2-1 (11.291) 5. 2006: 36. Central Michigan: 10-4 (9.306) 6. 1990: 31. Central Michigan: 8-3-1 (9.158) 7. 1994: 30. Central Michigan: 9-3 (7.715) 8. 2021: 44. Central Michigan: 9-4 (3.384) 9. 1985: 37. Central Michigan: 7-3 (1.278) 10. 1988: 44. Central Michigan: 7-4 (-1.302) 11. 2020: 59. Central Michigan: 3-3 (-4.809) 12. 2008: 57. Central Michigan: 8-5 (-6.542) 13. 2005: 56. Central Michigan: 6-5 (-7.420) 14. 2017: 61. Central Michigan: 8-5 (-7.561) 15. 2015: 64. Central Michigan: 7-6 (-7.854) 16. 1987: 54. Central Michigan: 5-5-1 (-11.490) 17. 1992: 59. Central Michigan: 5-6 (-12.266) 18. 1989: 63. Central Michigan: 5-5-1 (-12.904) 19. 2014: 74. Central Michigan: 7-6 (-12.963) 20. 2007: 70. Central Michigan: 8-6 (-14.080) 21. 2019: 75. Central Michigan: 8-6 (-14.612) 22. 1998: 65. Central Michigan: 6-5 (-16.416) 23. 1993: 63. Central Michigan: 5-6 (-16.771) 24. 2012: 77. Central Michigan: 7-6 (-19.031) 25. 1986: 71. Central Michigan: 5-5 (-19.488) 26. 2016: 87. Central Michigan: 6-7 (-21.822) 27. 1996: 76. Central Michigan: 5-6 (-23.792) 28. 2013: 88. Central Michigan: 6-6 (-24.375) 29. 1995: 73. Central Michigan: 4-7 (-27.662) 30. 2022: 112. Central Michigan: 4-8 (-32.236) 31. 2004: 97. Central Michigan: 4-7 (-36.154) 32. 2010: 99. Central Michigan: 3-9 (-36.932) 33. 1999: 97. Central Michigan: 4-7 (-36.956) 34. 2002: 96. Central Michigan: 4-8 (-39.844) 35. 2011: 101. Central Michigan: 3-9 (-40.096) 36. 2001: 96. Central Michigan: 3-8 (-40.204) 37. 2003: 105. Central Michigan: 3-9 (-48.508) 38. 2000: 106. Central Michigan: 2-9 (-50.395) 39. 1997: 103. Central Michigan: 2-9 (-52.476) 40. 2018: 128. Central Michigan: 1-11 (-63.714) Overall Score: 11853 (77th) 

• 231-229-8 record
• 5 conference titles
• 4-9 bowl record
• 0 consensus All-Americans
• 22 NFL players drafted

Central Michigan is the first 40-season team with a winning record! They’ve got 19 winning seasons and 5 more .500 seasons, so football in Mount Pleasant has been pretty satisfactory. Throw in 4 more years with just one more loss than win, and you’ve got 27 out of 40 seasons that have a win percentage of .454 or better. Hard to complain. Of CMU’s 5 title-winning seasons, 1990 and 1994 barely miss the list at #6 and #7, respectively, while 2007’s 8-6 team led by Butch Jones falls all the way to #20. Gives you an indication about the level of success the Chippewas have had.

Top 5 Seasons

Worst Season: 2018 (1-11 overall, 0-8 MAC)
This season came out of nowhere. Sure, Central Michigan was picked 5th out of 6 teams in the MAC West and were starting a new QB. But they had made 4 straight bowl games. They had one media member pick them to win the MAC West. They had some pretty talented players on defense, but this season was a disaster. Their 1 win was 17-5 over Maine. They did have 7 losses by 11 points or less. The offense was 3rd worst in the country, averaging just 15.0 PPG. QBs Tony Poljan and Tommy Lazzaro combined for just 7 TD and 15 INT, with the offense averaging a whopping 4.5 yards per attempt. Poljan was a massive human at 6’7 250 lbs, and would eventually transition to TE, earning 2nd Team All-MAC in 2019 before transferring to Virginia and putting up a 400+ yard season for them in 2020. The defense was very good for such a bad offense, giving up 27.3 PPG with a conference-high 4 defensive players making 1st Team All-MAC. Of the 4, DL Mike Danna, DB Sean Murphy-Bunting, and DB Xavier Crawford were drafted, with Murphy-Bunting starting for the 2020 Super Bowl Champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
5. 2006 (10-4 overall, 7-1 MAC)
There were some big names on this team. Brian Kelly was the coach, and he definitely earned his way to the top. After winning 2 Division II national titles at Grand Valley State from 1991-2003, he moved to Central Michigan, where he won the MAC title in 2006. After 2 opening losses to Boston College and Michigan, CMU got 2 very close wins over conference opponents Akron (24-21) and Eastern Michigan (24-17 in OT). After another 36-45 loss to Kentucky, it was time to get to work on winning a MAC chip. CMU was great the rest of the year, beating every MAC team aside from Northern Illinois by 2 or more possessions. Heading into the MAC title game, Ohio’s defense was allowing just 16.2 PPG and less than 300 yards per game, but Central Michigan went for 457 in a 31-10 win. RB Ontario Snead had a 96 yard TD run for the dagger and WR Damien Linson set a MAC title game record with 191 receiving yards. Central Michigan drubbed Middle Tennessee in the bowl as well, 31-14.
QB Dan LeFevour won MAC Freshman of the Year, throwing for 3000+ yards with 26 TD 10 INT, and running for 500+ with 7 TD. OT Joe Staley was 1st Team All-MAC, and ended up having a great career with the San Francisco 49ers. DE Dan Bazuin, the returning MAC Defensive POTY, had another 1st Team All-MAC season with 10.5 sacks, and was drafted in the 2nd round of the 2007 NFL Draft along with Staley in the 1st. Staley formerly played TE, and caught 11 passes for 130 yards and 1 TD as a freshman in 2003.
4. 1984 (8-2-1 overall, 6-2-1 MAC)
Central Michigan had one of the best defenses in the country, and a solid offense to boot. A 6-0-1 start helped CMU jump out to a 4-0-1 conference record, competing with Bowling Green and Toledo for the MAC title. That set up a match with Bowling Green (5-2 overall, 4-1 MAC) for 1st place. Central Michigan dominated the day 42-21, but still had Toledo to get through. A 7-8 loss to Northern Illinois shortly after sucked, but had no impact on Central’s title hunt, and they rebounded to beat Ball State 51-7. That set up a de-facto conference title game between Central Michigan (8-1-1, 6-1-1 MAC) vs Toledo (7-1-1, 6-1-1 MAC). Despite a great CMU defensive effort, the Chippewas fell 7-14, and Toledo took the title. CMU’s season ended there, but it wasn’t without accolades. The defense was top 5 in the nation, giving up just 12.8 PPG. RB Curtis Adams earned 2nd Team All-American with 1204 rushing yards and 13 TD, while 5 other CMU players earned 1st Team All-MAC.
3. 1983 (8-3 overall, 7-2 MAC)
Just like 1984, this year’s team was in the hunt for a MAC title all year long with a top 5 defense and solid offense. 1983 was a 4-horse race between Bowling Green, Central Michigan, Northern Illinois, and Toledo. After a 5-1 start, Central Michigan was right there in the hunt with a 4-0 conference record, but close losses put them out of it, losing 7-12 to Miami (OH) and 14-15 to Bowling Green. Left for dead, CMU rose up and put on their best 3 stretch of games maybe ever, beating 7-1 Northern Illinois 30-14, 6-4 Ball State 38-10, and 9-1 Toledo 34-6. NIU and Toledo were the top 2 teams in the MAC, yet Central Michigan beat them by a combined score of 64-20. If not for the 1 point loss to Bowling Green, Central Michigan would’ve been conference champions. Still, a fine year, and they finished in a 3-way tie for 2nd place with BG and Toledo. RB Curtis Adams arguably had a better year than his ‘84 season, rushing for 1431 yards and 15 TD. OG Chris McKay won team MVP. DB Jim Bowman earned 1st Team All-MAC in addition to those two, ranking 3rd in the nation with 8 picks. 3 other players for a total of 6 finished 1st Team All-MAC. Bowman was drafted in the 2nd round of the 1985 NFL Draft, and Adams went in the 8th round.
2. 1991 (6-1-4 overall, 3-1-4 MAC)
I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Yes, their 4 ties tied the NCAA record for the most ties in a season. Going into week 3, CMU was 1-0-1, heading to #18 Michigan State for the Spartans’ season opener. Michigan State was coming off an 8-3-1 season in which they were Big Ten co-champions. Because of this, they were 21 point favorites over a CMU team that was coming off a conference title themselves. The game was a slow burn for MSU fans. Central Michigan took a 14-3 lead into halftime and never let up, winning 20-3. The Spartans never recovered, going 3-7 the rest of the way. For the conference slate, Central Michigan apparently loved to play it safe, going 3-1-4 for the strangest 2nd place finish you’ll ever see. Central Michigan wasn’t invited to a bowl, and can you really blame the bowl reps? Sure they only lost 1 game, but they also only won 6. Still, it was a great year. Wins included Michigan State, 6-5 Ball State, and rival 6-5 Western Michigan, with the only loss to 11-1 MAC champion Bowling Green. RB Billy Smith led the NCAA in carries, rushing 374 times for 1440 yards and just 6 TD on 3.9 YPC. This was a typical Central Michigan team for the time, ranking top 15 in PPG allowed (14.3, 12th) with a stale offense (18.6 PPG, 75th).
1. 2009 (12-2 overall, 8-0 MAC)
This was a really good team. After an opening 6-19 loss at Arizona, Central Michigan travelled to East Lansing, and just like 1991, beat Michigan State 29-27. CMU, down 20-27 with 30 seconds remaining, scored a TD and opted for 2, but QB Dan LeFevour’s pass sailed long. An onside kick and 25 second drive later, and CMU’s Andrew Aguila was kicking a 42 yard FG for the win. With 4th year starting QB Dan LeFevour and one of the best WR tandems in the country in Antonio Brown-Bryan Anderson, Central Michigan was the big bad team in the MAC, and they lived up to the hype, winning their 3rd conference title in 4 years. They ran through the MAC with a perfect 8-0 record, the only loss coming out of conference to Boston College. Wins included 56-8 over Eastern Michigan, 56-28 over Toledo, and 35-3 at Ball State. CMU beat Ohio in the title game for the 2nd time in 4 years, winning 20-10. They ended in a barn burner of a GMAC Bowl against Sun Belt champion Troy, winning 44-41 in 2OT, thanks to 200 yards and 1 kick return TD from Antonio Brown. Central Michigan finished #23, their only ever finish in the top 25.
LeFevour won MAC Offensive POTY for the 2nd time, completing 69.7% of passes for 3438 yards 28 TD 7 INT. He added another 713 yards and 15 TD on the ground, ranking 2nd in the NCAA in total TDs with 43. LeFevour completed an illustrious career, having won 3 MAC titles. LeFevour finished 1st in NCAA history for total TDs (150), and to this day is 3rd behind Case Keenum (178) and Baker Mayfield (153). In 2007, LeFevour became the 2nd player in NCAA history (1st being Vince Young) to pass for 3000 yards and rush for 1000 yards in a season. LeFevour also finished 2nd all time in total yards with 15,853, and is now 4th behind Keenum, Timmy Chang, and Landry Jones. At 6’3 230 lbs with great athleticism, LeFevour was a 6th round pick by the Chicago Bears in the 2010 NFL Draft.
Antonio Brown put together another fantastic season, finishing 4th in the nation in catches with 110 for 1198 yards and 9 TD. He also ran for another 341 yards, and was the MAC Special Teams POTY with 3 returns (1 kick 2 punt) for TDs. The 6’5 WR Bryan Anderson finished as Central Michigan’s all time leading receiver with 3648 yards, going for 784 in 2009, the lowest total of his career but still earned 2nd Team All-MAC. Brown went on to have a Hall of Fame level career with the Pittsburgh Steelers. LB Nick Bellore led the team in tackles with 132, and has gone on to have a 12 year career in the NFL as a FB/LB. Coach Butch Jones left for Cincinnati after the season, and went on to coach at Tennessee.

5th Quarter

Do you remember that 2009 team with LeFevour and AB? Who was the better Central Michigan player all-time, Brown or LeFevour? Do you think Central Michigan’s place on this list is fair? What players/plays/games do you think of when you think of Central Michigan? Why does Michigan State lose so often to CMU? They also did it in 1992.
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Hello to you, fellow ingrates.
Year 6 of DABR Defends the New York Giants from Criticism has arrived.

Season Recap

tl;dr: The Giants had their most successful season since 2016, and arguably since winning the Super Bowl in 2012 (if the draft spot/playoff success is the measurement) and went into draft night with the latest selection they've had since 2012, the first outside the top 11 since 2016.
Giants fans didn't really expect to win that many games this year. There were still some hopefuls for Daniel Jones but most people had come to terms with new GM Joe Schoen and new HC Brian Daboll pretty much setting up to replace him, declining his 5th year option.
It was the first year of this regime, they hadn't really been able to fix up the roster fully, etc. Most Giants fans I know were expecting a 4-7 win season, not sniffing the playoff race. Ha.
It all started week 1 vs Tennessee. It was honestly a story Giants fans have gotten familiar with. Look absolutely horrible in the first half of the game, but somehow struggle back into it in the second half, only to be dramatically disappointed at the end of the game. After Daniel Jones threw a red zone interception with just under 9 minutes to go, we thought that was pretty much it.
But then with 4 minutes left, Saquon Barkley rips off a 33 yard run, Daniel Jones converts a 4th and 1, and the Giants score a TD to pull them to just a 1 point deficit. Most Giants fans are thinking "okay he's gonna kick it, play for overtime, I respect that, we didn't think it would be that close anyways."
And then we see the offense staying on the field...uh oh. The offense wasn't exactly clicking on all cylinders to that point in the game, having been shut out in the first half. If we don't get it, the game is pretty much lost. Daboll calls a shovel pass, Saquon gets it, it looks like it's completely doomed...I'm thinking "here we go again, his first game and the media is already going to be all over him for going for it"...but Saquon fights his way in! Giants take the lead for the first time in the game. We're feeling good, Daboll's huge balls in that situation giving us some confidence.
Then the Titans methodically work the ball down the field (along with a couple of assists from Austin Calitro and Darnay Holmes), setting up a 47 yard field goal for Randy Bullock to win the game.
Now, I'm thinking, "of course this is what happened, they gave us some hope, now it's going to get ripped away from us, just like always. Story of the last few years at times."
...and then Bullock missed the kick. That was the start of what turned into a magical first half of the season, the Giants getting off to a 7-2 start, all 7 wins coming by a 1 score margin (though the Bears and Texans games were a bit cleaner than the final scoreline suggests), and 5 of them really coming down to big time plays in the last 5 minutes of the game.
The Titans story, taking the lead with 3:38 left in the 4th quarter and Julian Love sacking Baker Mayfield to force 4th and 15 the next drive against Carolina, Kayvon Thibodeaux and Xavier McKinney batting down Aaron Rodgers' passes in London, Love intercepting Lamar Jackson to set up the game winning score against Baltimore, McKinney and Love stopping Christian Kirk at the 1 yard line on the last play against Jacksonville.
All of those games are games that go against us in previous years. But this year was just different. And somehow through it all, there were Saquon Barkley and Daniel Jones as well. Saquon was the focal point of the offense early in the season, Jones being efficient in a heavy, limited, play action focused passing attack.
All thoughts of the Giants earning a top pick and replacing Daniel Jones pretty much went out the window by week 4, and hope for Jones maybe finally becoming the QB he was drafted to be started to blossom in some parts of the Giants fanbase.
Things came crashing down a bit the next 4 weeks. Awful losses to Detroit, Dallas, and Philly, with a tie against Washington in there too that many Giants fans felt they deserved to win capped off a 1-4-1 stretch where the Giants simply did not look good. They looked more like what we expected the team to look like coming into the year. The playoff spot was no longer guaranteed, at 7-5-1. But a flexed SNF game against Washington would pretty much decide the season.
And the Giants took that win against Washington and ran with it. A close loss against the Vikings that was probably the best passing attack game of the season to that point, a dominating win against the hapless Colts that locked the Giants into the playoffs, and a surprisingly tight and scrappy game between the Eagles starters and the Giants backups gave Giants fans some hope headed into the playoffs. We didn't expect to win a Super Bowl, but the matchup against the Vikings seemed winnable.
And winnable it was, as in classic 2023 Giants fashion, they took a lead about halfway through the 4th quarter, and a couple of clutch plays on defense by Cordale Flott and Xavier McKinney ended the game.
Then we went to Philly and got absolutely ass blasted, ending our season.
That left the Giants with the 25th pick in the class, entering an offseason with a lot of business to take care of.

Free Agency Recap

The Giants had a lot more room to operate in free agency this year than last year, and Schoen was relatively creative in how he wanted to go about it.
The first step in that process though was figuring out the status of his pending free agents; most notably, the two who led the way on offense most of the year: Daniel Jones and Saquon Barkley. The Jones negotiations were tense, Jones asked for the moon and the team was not having it. Eventually (literally right before the tag deadline) they settled on a 4 yr, 160m extension with 82m fully guaranteed and a boatload of incentives that could push the value up to almost 200m. That allowed the team to tag Saquon Barkley, whose extension talks are reportedly still stalled, as Barkley declined an offer worth almost 14m during the Giants' bye week, and continues to find the Giants' offer(s) unpalatable.
Speculation is that Barkley is seeking more guaranteed money from the Giants (greater than the sum of 2 franchise tags), but Barkley's camp is not leaking much (reportedly because Saquon doesn't want them to). And according to most reporters, Saquon is too competitive to actually sit out the season, removing his last bit of leverage.
Possibly the biggest addition of the Giants' free agency period was actually a trade: The Giants traded the Chiefs' 3rd rounder (acquired for Kadarius Toney) for TE Darren Waller. This is a huge move because the Giants were dead last in explosive pass play rate by a WIDE margin. Only like 6 individual team seasons since 2010 had fewer explosive passing plays than the 2022 Giants. That's something that Schoen and Daboll immediately set out to fix, and Darren Waller is one of the best explosive pass weapons in the league, leading all TEs in explosive pass plays this season despite playing just 9 games this year. Reports out of OTAs are that the Giants are expecting Waller to basically fill a "WR1" role for them; not necessarily in alignment but being the focal point of the offense, high target share, etc.
Schoen and Daboll followed that addition up with two more explosive pass play options: retaining Darius Slayton, and adding Parris Campbell to the room. Slayton is a solid WR, he's good for 600-700 yards when he gets run. His hands are inconsistent, but he makes up for it often. Campbell finally broke out having a healthy season for the Colts this season. I think Campbell is mostly insurance for Wan'Dale Robinson, who is coming off of a torn ACL, but if healthy should get primary run in the slot.
The Giants' other two main moves came on the defensive side of the ball, adding LB Bobby Okereke to a LB room that comprised of: Jarrad Davis, Micah McFadden, and Darrian Beavers (coming off a torn ACL). Much needed improvement in that room. The Giants also added Rakeen Nunez-Roches and A'Shawn Robinson to the DL room to improve the depth there; Dexter Lawrence and Leonard Williams were playing too many snaps, and the Giants were really bad against the run last year.
In the process though, the Giants lost both of their starting centers from 2022, Nick Gates and Jon Feliciano, as well as S Julian Love, who had been a consistent staple of the defense the last few years.

Draft Needs

The Giants roster was in much better shape this year than last year, but the team still had a number of problems:

1. CB was still a HUGE need for the Giants, and one that had not been properly addressed yet. Adoree' Jackson had another very good year in 2022, but the spot across from him had been a mishmosh of misfit toys: Fabian Moreau had a nice little run, but struggled down the stretch. Nick McCloud got a lot of run at CB2 after being claimed on waivers from the Bills. Cordale Flott had been drafted as a nickel defender but got some run there. And the slot position wasn't much better, as Darnay Holmes continued to be a liability there. This position needed reinforcements. I've been a relatively vocal minority in the Giants fandom saying this has been the BIGGEST need the team had for a couple of years now (basically aside from the one year that we had Bradberry and Jackson both on the team).
2. Despite adding Slayton, Campbell, and Waller, WR was still something the team needed. Specifically someone who could develop into a WR1 type player. The Giants WR room is relatively deep, but just adding Campbell and Waller and running back last year's group didn't feel sufficient. The team clearly was putting an emphasis on speed, separation, and yards after the catch ability.
3. Center was a massive need. The Giants basically didn't have a center on the roster who had played meaningful NFL snaps. Ben Bredeson could move to center if needed, but it wasn't that solid of a plan. And in what seemed like a good center class, this seemed like a good way to solve that problem.
4. LB. The LB2 spot currently will be either Jarrad Davis, Micah McFadden (who basically lost the job last year to Jarrad Davis), or Darrian Beavers (who tore his ACL last year). I think that says it all.
5. RB: Saquon is on the tag, so you feel okay here, but the team has been seeking a solid compliment for him for a while. They were in on a few of the RBs last year and the value never lined up, and Matt Breida and Gary Brightwell didn't really cut it last year. They don't want to run Saquon into the ground early in the year like they did last year, so having a compliment for him is big.
6. S: Losing Julian Love is a tough one. He played a lot of snaps and wore a lot of hats for this defense last year, especially with McKinney missing time with a hand injury. The team likes Jason Pinnock, and drafted Dane Belton in the early 4th last year, but more depth and competition here would be very welcome.

So let's get into the picks:

1.24: Deonte Banks, CB, Maryland

Seems like maybe Schoen agreed with me!
It was a lot harder to try to predict what the Giants would do this year, just by virtue of having a later pick. But the general consensus among the beat seemed to be that the team wanted to get a CB or an offensive playmaker with that first pick. I was a little skeptical of CB being an option, seeing how many mocks had all 5 of the top CBs off the board, but that often left WRs available.
So right after the Jets took Will McDonald at 15, if you looked at the board, only 1 CB had been taken and no WRs had been taken. That felt pretty good for the Giants.
Then Forbes and Gonzalez come off the board, and the top 4 WRs come off the board from 20-23.
That left the Giants feeling a little antsy. They had one guy they really wanted left, and negotiated a trade up one spot with the Jaguars to secure their guy: Deonte Banks.
This pick is perfect for what the Giants want to do on defense. Wink Martindale's reaction should say it all, if you go watch the Giants' behind the scenes videos on the draft process.
Banks is a tall, long, and athletic corner, which are all important traits for Wink's press man heavy defense. He's super fluid and smooth in his hips. He tested absolutely crazy. He also plays with a swag that I think Wink and Giants fans will come to really appreciate. He plays confident, he plays fast in terms of processing, and he plays physical.
He still has some development to go, I'm not saying he's going to be a top CB in the league from day 1. He wasn't a super ball productive corner, but that's not something Wink necessarily needs. It will take some time for him to get comfortable with the complexity of route runners in the NFL. But the tools are all there, and the Giants get a perfect scheme fit.
Banks will come in and immediately be the starter at CB across from Adoree' Jackson, and the trickle down effect that will have on the Giants depth chart at CB will be tangible.

2.57: John Michael Schmitz, OC, Minnesota

As this pick was coming up, Schoen and Daboll were discussing who to pick, and basically said "okay we're either going with Schmitz or (we'll get to that later ;) )".
Then the Bears traded up to the pick before the Giants pick. And Joe Schoen said "oh fuck." Daboll tried to calm him down and said "well I guess we're getting ."
Then the Bears took Tyrique Stevenson (good pick!), leaving the Giants the choice between the two players. And the Giants went with Schmitz.
Full disclosure: I was not a huge JMS fan in the draft process. I thought he was super solid all around, but he wasn't really impressive to me, there weren't a lot of overwhelmingly positive reps or traits in my eyes. I thought he was maybe a little heavy footed, especially in pass pro, and his testing kind of backed that up, and I didn't really see full unlocked power either.
I was probably a bit harsh on him in terms of the grade though. Like I said, he's a super solid player. There's relatively little to really complain about. He's smart, he's experienced, and he made few mental mistakes. His snaps were consistent. He is pretty strong though not crazy so. His anchor is really good, and he plays nasty and competitive, which is something the Giants are definitely looking for. It helps he had a really good Senior Bowl week too.
Was Schmitz my favorite center in this class? No. But he was for many people, and for some good reasons. Schmitz will come in and immediately start at center for the Giants, bringing the dead snap with him. If he can be the 3rd best player on this unit (behind Andrew Thomas and hopefully Evan Neal taking a step forward this year and being healthy), it'll be an immensely calming and steadying presence that should raise the OL play of the whole unit.

3.73: Jalin Hyatt, WR, Tennessee

So you may be wondering: Who was Player X?
Well immediately after drafting Schmitz, Schoen looked around the room and pretty much said "what if we can still get ?" He decided that the price he was willing to pay was the Giants 4th round pick. And he and everybody else in the room started calling.
That included Brian Daboll, who leaned over and said "hey should I text [Rams HC Sean] McVay?" Schoen said "yeah sure go for it." And Daboll officially negotiated the Giants trading up from 89 to 73 to select Player X: Tennessee WR Jalin Hyatt
Hyatt is a really fun player to watch. The speed blows you away on tape. It's the kind of speed that even if you're not throwing it to him all the time, defenses have to take note when he comes on the field and play him differently. He's not necessarily slippery or elusive after the catch but (and I'm scared to frame it this way but I'm doing it anyway) the speed and acceleration gives him credibility there, the way that Odell was such a YAC threat on slants just getting to full speed and outrunning everyone.
He's a little high cut I think, and that leads to a little bit of trouble with crisper routes. He wasn't asked to run a very complex route tree at Tennessee, though I do think he has the skills to improve in that sense. The biggest concern for me is just how quickly we can get him up to speed beating press and playing through physicality. When he has room to work, he can beat CBs in a few ways, but NFL DBs will knock even very good WRs off their routes at times. And that follows through to contested catches.
The Giants' WR room is so crowded it's hard for me to say exactly what Hyatt's role will be starting out. The Giants started last year trying to use different WRs in different ways on a game to game basis. Then the wheels fell off obviously, with Shep, Wan'Dale, and Toney being hurt and Golladay stinking and all that. So I wonder if we see a return to that.
Hyatt can be a threat in a lot of ways, end arounds, screens, etc in addition to the obvious "go long" situations. Just how many reps he can carve out will be fun to track in training camp.

So the Giants come out of the first 3 rounds with 3 players who were commonly mocked to them at 25. Pretty good business! But let's get into day 3:

5.172: Eric Gray, RB, Oklahoma

The Giants traded away their 4th round pick to get Hyatt so they went 99 picks without making a selection.
Like I said earlier, the team has been looking for a compliment to Saquon Barkley for a long time, and they find it here with Eric Gray.
Schoen said he sees Eric Gray as a 3 down back. And you can definitely see why. He caught 88 passes over the last 3 years at Oklahoma and only dropped 2. He's also strong and physical, willing to pass protect. That physicality carries over into his running style, he runs hard and is willing to run through guys. He's bursty in short areas and has pretty solid vision in my opinion.
He's a compact guy, just 5'9 207. He's not super slippery or elusive, and he's not really a home run hitter. But in terms of finding a backup RB on day 3 to feed some of those tough yardage carries to and keep Saquon fresh, you could do worse than Eric Gray for sure.
The Giants ran a fair bit of "Pony" type formations in 2022, using 2 or even 3 RBs at times. The competition between Gray and Matt Breida for the true RB2 spot will be fun to see. Breida brings a little more explosiveness to the table, but Gray will certainly give him a run for his money. And depending on what happens with Saquon Barkley's contract situation, we may see even more of Gray down the line.

6.209: Tre Hawkins, CB, Old Dominion

When asked about what is different this year from last year, what improvements or what has gotten easier now that he's been in the chair for a full year, Joe Schoen talked a lot about really getting a good handle on what his coaches look for in players. And he singled out Wink in that respect because him and Daboll have worked together so much.
The Giants selection of Tre Hawkins really highlights that. Like with Deonte Banks, Hawkins brings a ton of physical traits. He tested through the roof. He has the length that the Giants look for. He's also super physical in both phases, run and pass, which Wink loves. ODU let him just play press man, so he's comfortable doing that.
He's a little slim still, so his frame needs some reworking, but that's common with CBs and especially ones from outside the P5 schools. He also has a lot of technique and FBIQ stuff to clean up. His footwork is messy, he's not always patient enough with his punch. His ball skills still leave something to be desired. He's still learning to read routes and manage space both in man and zone.
I figure Hawkins will come in and be a depth player and core STer for the Giants. If his play strength holds up against NFL scrutiny, he can definitely be a day 1 punt gunner. Wink has started calling Jerome Henderson the best DB coach in the league, so it'll be fun to see what Henderson can do with a ball of clay like Hawkins. Even if he ends up just being a STer and CB5 type guy, that's still a pretty good pick in the 6th round like this.
Also, sorry Patriots writer :)

7.243: Jordon Riley, DL, Oregon

Beating a dead horse at this point, but this is another pick Schoen highlighted as an example of his understanding of what Wink is looking for.
Obviously Riley is a flawed prospect, it's the 7th round. He was a 6th year senior who spent time at 4 different schools, starting at UNC, then going to JUCO for a year, then Nebraska for 2 years where he barely played, and finishing his college career at Oregon. PFF lists him as having just 534 career snaps in college despite the 5 years he spent at the P5 level. He wasn't very productive, partly because he barely played and partly because he's just not very good. He's not a good athlete.
What Riley does have, though, is size, strength, and knockback power. And that's what Wink is looking for in a depth NT. He eats blocks, stuffs up lanes, and just is hard to move.
Schoen put it this way:
"It’s hard to find these guys. When you get into the seventh round, you are looking for guys that maybe it will be hard to get at different areas. And another guy we spent time with, big run stopper in there, 6-foot-5, 330.
You walk out to practice, and there’s this 6-5, 330-pound guy, who piques your interest right there. Again, some of these guys in different schemes may not have the production, the tackles, the sacks. But for what Wink looks for in terms of size, length, knock-back — he possesses those traits.”

7.254: Gervarrius Owens, DB, Houston

Last pick in the draft and the Giants go back to the DB room. They took two CBs already, but some depth/developmental guys at safety would help. Enter: Gervarrius Owens.
Owens is a former CB turned S from Houston. The CB in him flashes to me on tape, I thought his ball skills as a safety were good. He's athletic enough to play pretty much any safety spot, including that single high spot that teams find difficult to fill. He's super physical and willing to play downhill and tackle. He's super experienced, he was a team captain and 4 year starter for Houston.
He makes a lot of mistakes, however. The angles he takes to the ball in both phases are super inconsistent. He missed a ton of tackles in college, so that technique needs to be worked on. The ball skills turned into PBUs rather than INTs; Wink won't mind that but some of them were like "he really should have just caught that."
Owens is another guy like Hawkins who looks primed to earn his roster spot on special teams and provide solid depth for the team's DB room. Wink likes to play 3+ safety sets, especially when he feels like he has a good group there. And the Giants' S room right now is basically Xavier McKinney and a bunch of question marks, so it's entirely feasible that Owens can come in and beat Dane Belton, Jason Pinnock, and Bobby McCain to earn playing time early on.

UDFAs

The Giants UDFA class included a few notable names. 5 total players who got 100k+ in guarantees:

1. Bryce Ford-Wheaton, WR, WVU: The Giants gave Bryce Ford-Wheaton a LOT of guaranteed money for a UDFA: 236k, which is the full season PS salary plus 20k. BFW was one of "my guys" this year I was hoping for the Giants to get. He's got the size and athleticism to be really good, but he's a little one note right now. In a crowded WR room, I kind of doubt he'll make the roster without some injuries (or Wan'Dale/Shep being on PUP) but like other late rounders/UDFAs, if he can find some value on special teams, he's a fun upside swing.
2. Dyontae Johnson, LB, Toledo: Another guy who got a lot of guaranteed money. The Giants needed some reinforcements at LB and clearly didn't find them in the draft. Super productive in college, very instinctive player, but I'm not sure if he can run with the league. He'll compete with the Giants mishmosh of LBs to play on special teams.
3. Ryan Jones, TE/FB, East Carolina: The Giants have been searching for a kind of H-Back type for a while now. Last year they brought in Jeremiah Hall from Oklahoma, that didn't stick. Andre Miller, who was a WR at Maine, seemed like he was getting run at that spot in camp last year, but a broken arm ended his season. Chris Myarick ended up taking some of those reps. Ryan Jones kind of fits that mold as well.
4. Habakkuk Baldonado, EDGE, Pittsburgh: The Giants' pass rusher depth is...not great. Behind Kayvon Thibodeaux and Azeez Ojulari, it's Jihad Ward, Oshane Ximines, and Tomon Fox. And Ojulari missed a lot of time last year. Baldonado could potentially come in and earn a spot over Ximines/Fox. He's got good play strength and power and fits what the Giants would need as more of an edge setter and run defender to give Thibodeaux/Ojulari a rest rep before letting them loose to rush the passer.
5. Gemon Green, CB, Michigan: Another tough and physical corner. I don't think there's really a spot for him on this roster with the additions of Banks and Hawkins, and I think he's not quite the athlete the Giants look for at CB, but as a last resort/STer he can potentially get somewhere.

Final Takeaways

I did this last year because it was Schoen's first year here, but I like the idea of doing it every year. What can we learn from the way Schoen drafted this year that we can file away and learn for the future? What can mockers learn from this to inform them of who makes sense for the Giants.
And it's pretty similar to last year:

1. Athleticism. Once again, pretty much every player the Giants drafted, and the UDFAs generally, were excellent athletes who tested well. The main exceptions being JMS (who was still a solid athlete) and Jordon Riley this year; where the exception last year basically was just DJ Davidson. This team has faith in its coaching staff and wants to give them players they can work with.
2. Scheme/Roster Fits. I talked about it a lot with the defensive picks, but every single one is a "Wink Martindale" guy. What does Wink want for his system? This can be a little dangerous considering Wink was in the running for a HC gig last year, and another strong year might finally get him the HC job he has been looking for. If he leaves and the scheme changes, these players need to be able to match the new scheme too. But it's clear that the FO values the input of the coaching staff and there's really clear communication there. This also applies to the offensive side of the ball, where it's super clear that the team wanted more speed on offense, which pointed to Hyatt a little bit.
3. Youth. This one is a little less applicable this year as they did draft a few older players, like JMS and Riley, even Eric Gray who turns 24 in November or Tre Hawkins who turns 23 over the summer. But Banks just turned 22, Jalin Hyatt will turn 22 in late September. It feels like maybe they felt more attached to the age stuff when they thought this was a full on rebuild, but now that they're hoping to be a playoff team again, they need some more instant contributors.
4. Aggressiveness/willingness to trade. This is a newer one, as last year the Giants only traded back. But this year the Giants traded up twice, giving up 3 day 3 picks in the process. Schoen is not afraid to make trades in either direction. Up to secure guys he really wants (Banks/Hyatt), or down if there's nothing there. Schoen talked about having trades lined up in both directions with the first round pick, he had a trade down ready if there was no one he wanted left.

The Giants went into the 2022 draft clearly rebuilding, 5 picks in the top 81 and making 11 selections. This year, the team came into the draft with 10 picks and came out with just 7. Clearly the team thinks the depth is improving and wants to focus on building the championship contender they are looking to be.

There has been a lot of talk recently about the lack of SP depth at AAA so I thought it would be a good time to dig deeper then that and highlight some names in AA (and lower) that might not be as far away as some would think. The AA rotation deserves a bit of a spotlight with the performances of some of the pitchers there.
There has been a lot of criticism of the organization drafting and developing of pitching prospects (much being very fair) but we really might now be seeing some of the results coming through.
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I have excluded a few guys who are years away from making a real impact who are below AA but I will make some notes on them. Brandon Barriera (#2 Prospect) in A-Ball is looking very good and is being brought along slowly after his injury so has pitched just 13.1 IP. Dahian Santos (#12 Prospect) in A-Ball might be the biggest sleeper pitcher in the organization. His fastball-slider combination is electric but is extremely raw overall as a pitcher. He is learning a changeup and is gaining muscle fast in order to take the next step in the organization. CJ Van Eyk (N/R Prospect) still has the raw tools to be a good pitcher but has pitched just 7.0 IP over the last two seasons and is on the IL again.
Adam Macko, Yosver Zulueta, Hayden Juenger & Hagen Danner are honesty still very talented pitchers but all seem destined to be relief pitchers at this point in their development. This post focuses more on pitchers who have good odds of remaining as SP. Don't sleep on these guys though, they all have electric bullpen arms and might see some of them in our bullpen come next season.
In terms of the 2022 draft it is of course much too early but there are some really interesting names and notes: Ryan Jennings (Round 4) who can throw 99 mph as a reliever and that seemed like his career path BUT has had surprisingly good results as an SP at the moment in A-Ball. Insane fastball-slider combo but needs a third pitch. Mason Fluharty (Round 5) has been tearing through the minors and is already in AA as a reliever. Unique but effective cutter-slider combo. Rocking a sweet 1.25 ERA & 0.83 WHIP this season. T.J. Brock (Round 6) dominated A+ in 20 IP to a tune of 1.77 ERA and is already in AA. Electric fastball-slider combo. Devereaux Harrison (9th Round) is an SP turned RP turned SP again in A+ with a 2.63 ERA. He struggled with his control as an RP but it has vastly improved as a starter.
Ian Churchill (Round 10), Pat Gallagher (Round 11), Nolan Perry (Round 12), Bo Bonds (Round 13) & Ryan Chasse (Round 17) are the others pitchers from the draft class but they are just getting things started but all look fine-to-good in small sample sizes in Rookie or Low A. The early returns on this draft class are really positive and probably deserve a spotlight post on its own.
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New Hampshire Fisher Cats Rotation:
Ricky Tiedemann (Age 20):

• 91st Overall in 2021 Draft // 1st Ranked Prospect
• 4.97 ERA / 1.62 FIP / 2.18 xFIP
• 16.34 K/9 - 4.97 BB/9 - 0.00 H9
• 1.26 WHIP & 0.205 OBA

We have all read dozens upon dozens of articles on this guy. There really isn't too much to say on Ricky. He has missed most of the season due to injury. He really is as good as advertised though with top of the rotation potential. His injury likely pushes he debut back until mid-way next year at best. He still needs to refine his control and get a little deeper into game. Be excited though, I do think his injury has killed a lot of the excitement people had in following the AA team which does still have an excellent staff...
Adam Kloffenstein (Age 22):

• 88th Overall in 2019 Draft // N/R Prospect // Peaked @ #8 in 2018
• Nickname = King Kloff
• 3.12 ERA / 3.61 FIP / 3.37 xFIP
• 11.08 SO/9 - 3.81 BB/9 - 0.87 H9
• 1.29 WHIP & .231 OBA

Probably the biggest story from the Blue Jays minor leagues this year. A prospect who was once deemed a steal at his draft position who quickly become one of the better valued prospects in our system to falling off the map in 3 years and likely on his last chance to be a starter has become one of the most stable pitchers in the entire organization. A former power pitcher came into the year losing some mph on his velocity in order to get some proper control and it has paid off for him.
He leads the entire Eastern League in strikeouts & is second in innings pitched behind only a pitcher turning 27 this year. This season he has gone 5.0 IP+ in 8 straight starts now of which half have been a QS. He has allowed 0 ER or 1 ER in 7-of-10 starts. The Blue Jays in recent years have struggled developing pitchers who can pitch deep into games; coming into this season 6 of the 10 pitchers on the Blue Jays Top 30 list are very likely or already on their way to becoming RP; Zulueta, Macko, Juenger, Danner, Hernandez & Carter.
His strikeouts are up, his walks are down, his HR allowed are down, his BABIP is reasonable and his FIP is in range of ERA. He ranks near the top of the league in most statistics and only turns 23 later this year. He has been very consistent on top of everything. This is looking like a real breakthrough rather than a fluke.
The concern with him moving forward include avoiding losing much more velocity or he needs even more improved location to compensate as well trying to develop a third above average pitch as he currently heavily sticks with his effective two pitch combo. The Blue Jays will likely keep him in AA so he can continue to build confidence after 3 years of struggles but a run in AAA and becoming Major League starter depth next season is very much in play if he keeps it up.
He will very likely be added to the 40-Man this off-season with the team lacking SP depth there.
Paxton Schultz (Age 25):

• 433rd Overall in 2019 Draft // N/R Prospect // Never Ranked
• 3.30 ERA / 3.07 FIP / 3.75 xFIP
• 10.49 K/9 - 3.69 BB/9 - 0.58 H9
• 1.32 WHIP & .236 OBA

As I was writing this Schultz actually had his AAA debut; pitching 5.0 IP, 1 ER, 3 H, 2 BB & 6 SO in an excellent debut.
Schultz was not actually a Blue Jays draft pick...he was acquired from MIL as a PTBNL for Blue Jays legend Derek Fisher. May have won the trade all these years later. He has always been considered a "low-ceiling" prospect and always put together solid but unspectacular seasons which meant he never really caught the eye of scouts. This year he kind of has put everything together and went from career minor league player to someone who could be that 6th to 8th starter depth we have been really needing in the minors. He doesn't have overpowering stuff by any means but he is really smart and does not allow very much hard contact.
His numbers have been great across the board. Career bests in pretty much everything and has improved in his consistency from years past. He has allowed less than 2 ER in 8-of-10 AA starts. He has actually been a tad unlucky this season as well rocking a BABIP higher than his used to. He also tends to avoid very much disaster starters; in his career of 55 starts he has allowed 5 runs just 3 times (never more) and over the last 2 years has pitched under 4 innings just 3 times. Pretty much an ideal from a #5/#6 starter.
All this has earned him a promotion to AAA now where if he keeps up the same level of consistency he very likely works his way into becoming the teams 6th starter and likely finds himself on the 40-Man roster. If an injury occurs to the rotation Schultz might be the guy to fill in.
Sem Robberse (Age 21):

• International Free Agent in 2019 // 6th Ranked Prospect // Peaked at 6th in 2022
• Nickname: The Pitching Dutchman
• 4.73 ERA / 4.96 FIP / 4.00 xFIP
• 9.45 K/9 - 3.38 BB/9 - 1.69 H9
• 1.18 WHIP & .217 OBA

Don't let the ERA fool you, he has had a much better season than that would suggest. At quick glance his WHIP and OBA are some of the best in the league. Most of the damage coming from an increase in HR allowed this season which is something he is trying to work on. Otherwise his numbers are on par with or better than they have before.
He is considered by many to be the smartest pitcher in the organization. He spent most of COVID studying pitching sequencing and strategies needed for a pitcher. Dude has zero ego to his game and embraces being taught which makes him loved in the organization. Robberse is one of the prospects that we will see play for the Blue Jays one day, whether it will be as a mid-rotation pitcher or as the odd spot stater remains to be see. Probably the "safest" starting prospect in the organization.
He has 5 pitches with his slider and curve be his good ones and throws some decent heat at 92 mph+ but one of his goals is too increase that. He was at 185 lbs last season and is aiming to get over 200 in hopes of increasing his velocity as well as help with his durability although he is already a rather good innings eater being behind Koff.
His major concern is when he does lose control he starts getting hit very hard...which doesn't happen all too often but something he is trying to cut back on. There is a legit claim for him to be the organizations #2 pitching prospect.
Chad Dallas (Age 22):

• 121st Overall in 2021 // N/R Prospect // Peaked at 28th in 2022
• Nickname: Cheese
• A+: 2.03 ERA / 3.09 FIP / 3.71 xFIP w/ 0.94 WHIP & .146 OBA (12.49 SO/9 - 4.05 BB/9 - 0.3 H9)
• AA: 2.42 ERA / 3.76 FIP / 4.52 xFIP w/ 0.85 WHIP & .128 OBA (8.06 SO/9 - 3.63 BB/9 - 0.40 H9)

This is the dude to be excited about and his seemly quick and easy transition into AA which is considered to be the hardest jump for a pitcher in the minors is only more reasons to be excited. In his 5 A+ starts he allowed just 6 ER in 26.2 IP...4 of those 6 came in a single bad start 4.2 IP...he dominated with easy in his other 4 starts which earned him the quick promotion. He loves to just pound the zone and go after hitters.
It is easy to see where his success comes from. Having 4 pitches all very decent including a nasty, nasty slider...a very good curveball, a fastball that touches 95 mph and a changeup he is working on heavily. His control is what really hurt him last year but he has for the most part vastly improved in the matter.
His AA debuts was one of the best I have seen: 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 2 H, 2 BB & 9 SO. Since then he had three more starts; one where he lost his command in struggled and another 2 dominating outings where he has allowed 1 total ER in 11.0 IP. There was a lot of "bullpen" risk when he was drafted but he put a lot of that to rest with having no trouble hitting 5-7 IP constantly this season. In his 9 starts he has gone 5.0 IP in 7 of them with the other two falling short (4.1 / 4.2 ) due to struggles not stamina.
He does struggle against LHP hitters and it is something to monitor. His two big outlier blunder starts this season were with lineups that were lefty heavy. Which is the main reason for him wanting to improve his changeup. His cutter and curveball are killer against RHH but don't have the same effect on LHH.
If he does not rocket up prospect boards this season then I have no idea what scouts are looking for anymore.
Trenton Wallace (Age 24):
He hasn't pitched in AA yet but was the one who got the call-up to replace Shultz. He is on the older side but was just drafted in 2021. Has caught the attention of scouts with his performance in A+ but AA will be the big test for him. Cruised through A+ with a 1.79 ERA / 3.20 FIP / 4.18 xFIP with an elite WHIP of 0.82 and 0.155 OBA. There is a good chance we are talking about him a long with the rest of the successful AA pitchers in month time.. A mid- 90's fastball and mesmerizing slider is what gets the job done for him. 5 of his 8 starts he allowed exactly 0 ER including an outing where he thew 5 perfect innings.
He is looking like a massive steal being drafted in the 11th round of the 2021 draft.
The other name in AA are Jimmy Robbins (Age 25); he was very solid last season in between A+/AA but was a tad over-age and now in his full season in AA has lost the strike-zone and is averaging 6.65 BB/9 which has lead to a ERA of 5.40. Even with his success last season; never really caught the eyes of scouts and wasn't protected in the Rule 5 draft even though some fans argued he should. Seems to have been the right call.
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Tiedemann - Kloffenstein - Robberse - Dallas (+Wallace) might be the best rotation we have had in a single level of the minors in a very long time. All are no older than 22 as well so even with some bumps in the road they have time on their hands. All 4 are going to be very exciting to monitor. Paxton Schultz is also worth watching as he might have leap frogged his way right into the 6th SP role with other options in AAA falling apart or being converted to relievers.
Our upper minors pitching depth has been a big concern to fans but they depth coming from AA and below might soon change that.
Who wouldn't want a future rotation of King Kloff, The Pitching Dutchman, Cheese & Ricky Titty?!?

JUNE 14 - FORT GREGG-ADAMS
IN-PERSON - 10AM-2PM
Fort Gregg-Adams Club
Building 9009, Battle Drive via Gregg Avenue
JOB SEEKERS - REGISTER
VIRTUAL - 11AM-2PM
Virtual JOB SEEKERS: Registration
Partial listing of exhibitors includes - Transition Assistance Program-Fort Gregg-Adams, Bedford County Sheriff’s Office, BillGodenJobs.com/Intelligence Careers, City of Richmond Emergency Management, Cranemasters, Henrico County Fire Department, National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, Naval Supply Systems Command (NAVSUP), Prince William-Manassas Regional ADC, Resource Management Concepts VIRTUAL, The Institute for Advanced Learning and Research, Virginia Army National Guard, Virginia Employment Commission (Tri-Cities), Walmart, Virginia Department of Transportation, PLUS more pending.
Continue to visit the website for NEW company updates.
If you do not have a CAC card, you must visit the Visitor Control Center Building (Dukes Building, 500 Gregg Ave., Bldg 5228, Zip 23801) to request a day pass.)
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JUNE 29 - DAHLGREN (KING GEORGE)
IN-PERSON - 3PM-7PM
UMW-Dahlgren Campus
4224 University Drive (next to Wal-mart)
Located minutes from Dahlgren Naval Base, 10 min. Southern MD, 30 min. Fredericksburg, 1 hr. Richmond, 1+ hr. D.C.
JOB SEEKERS - REGISTER
VIRTUAL - 4PM-7PM
Virtual JOB SEEKERS: Registration
Partial listing of exhibitors includes - Amentum …Baltimore City Police … BCI (Basic Commerce and Industries) VIRTUAL… BillGoldenJobs.com / Intelligence Careers .. Chesterfield Fire Recruitment… Maryland Department of Labor Veterans Program … JobZone … Joint Warfare Analysis Center (JWAC) ... Kitty Hawk Technologies … Prince William-Manassas Regional ADC … Resource Management Concepts (RMC) … Re$ume Xpert VIRTUAL … SimVentions … Spalding Consulting …Tekla Research … The Institute for Applied Learning and Research … Virginia Army National Guard … PLUS more pending.
Continue to visit the website for NEW company updates.
​

Hello, and welcome to my destash! Selling off the majority of my Poesie FS & sample collection, as well as a bunch of Arcana FS discontinued and current catalog scents. I also have a couple dozen Arcana Craves available for decanting! And as always, hundreds upon hundreds of other perfumes from almost any house imaginable!
🎈 From now until end of day Sunday 6/11, get free US shipping on any order $55 and up! Will also deduct equivalent cost from international shipping for folks outside the US!🎈
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Click here to view my spreadsheet:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1P7e9eQaZ8zfztiYp1_ZHSmXC7yN3xbKDNkGQ328HWKs/edit?usp=sharing
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IMPORTANT INFO AT A GLANCE:
-There are 3 tabs on my spreadsheet:
Indie FS and House Sample Perfumes;
Custom Indie Decants,
Niche/Mainstream Perfumes
-Shipping to the US is a flat $4.25, while shipping to CAN and EUR will be quoted but usually ranges from $14-$16. I usually ship within 3-4 days, and will pack your perfumes with much love, care, and bubble wrap!😊
Spreadsheet link again — https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1P7e9eQaZ8zfztiYp1_ZHSmXC7yN3xbKDNkGQ328HWKs/edit?usp=sharing
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DECANT DEALS:
- 5mL rollerball decants of Wylde Ivy EDPs for $10 (choices include Chasing Dreams, Honeysuckle Sun, Mist & Moonlight and Lovesick & Undead)
- 5mL rollerball decants of Solstice Scents EDPs for $16 (choices include EDPs of Foxcroft and Witch/s Cottage)
- 5mL rollerball decants of Haus of Gloi EDPs for $9 (choices include Forest Rain, Haus Amber At Midnight, Haus Birthday, Hearth, Pumpkin Eater, Red Roan, Real Coal, Snow Wolf, Silver Bells)
- 5mL rollerball decants of Alkemia Alcohol-free EDPs for $13 (choices include Frondescence and Fireflies in the Garden)
- 5mL rollerball decants of CocoaPink EDPs for $8 (choices include Lipstick Stains in SMAT strength)
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A note about decants: Accuracy and cleanliness are my highest priorities when decanting. I ensure that every single decant is filled to the correct volume – not even a drop less! My decants will generally come in screw top jars with a reducer and printed, easy-to-read labels. The following brands will come in vials instead of jars (unless you get 2mLs or more, in which case they’ll come in jars): Alpha Musk, Death & Floral, Possets, Haus of Gloi, and Hexennacht. I decant with disposable, single-use 1mL pipettes and check my work with a scale to ensure accurate fill.
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Here is just a small sampling of what is available, there is so much more on the spreadsheet! For most updated availability, please check the spreadsheet first, as that is updated regularly & is most accurate!
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Poesie (FS and house samples):
Ada Lovelace FS
Aditi FS
Anne of Cleves FS
Artemis EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS
Borrowed Sugar EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS partial
Boudicca FS
Brooding Wings FS
Castle Dracula FS
Crowned FS
Cybele FS partial
Cybele EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS partial
Danann Fein FS
Daydreams EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS
Demimonde FS
Desert Goblin FS
Fan Dance FS
Folly of Love FS
Georgia O Keefe FS ⭐️
Headmaster FS
Illuminated FS
Just Like Heaven FS partial
Marie Curie FS
Medusa FS
Mysterious Fossils EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS
Perfect Happiness FS
Poison Pen Lane FS
Radiant FS
Rentimei FS
Ritual EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS partial
Scholomance FS
Shield Maiden FS
Strawberry Party FS
The Empress FS
The Perfect Tree FS (2 available)
Thought & Memory FS
Tiny Phantom FS
Titania FS ⭐️
Two Dances With Darcy FS
Winter Idyl FS
Young Romantics FS ⭐️
A Thousand Warriors (labelled as Tomoe Gozen) 2mL ⭐️
Alice Ball 2mL
Byronic Hero 2mL
Christmas Magic 2mL
Clara 2mL
Curiouser and Curiouser 2mL
Daydreams 2mL
Dessert First 2mL
Desert Goblin 2mL
Embrace 2mL
Fan Dance 2mL
Gingerbread Kittens 2.3mL chonk
Green Knight 2mL
Hygge 2mL
Knightley 2mL
Lagniappe IX 2mL
Lagniappe VIII 2mL
Magnolia Black Tea 2mL
Morning Mayhem 2mL
Nutcracker Prince 2mL
Opening Chapter 2mL
Opening Chapter 2mL
Plaid Shirt 2mL
Queen Bee 2mL
Queen of Hearts 2mL
Seelie Court 2mL ⭐️
Strange Unearthly Thing 2mL
The Perfect Tree 2mL
Tomoe Gozen (A Thousand Warriors) 2mL ⭐️
Waltz of the Snowflakes 2mL
Watson 2mL (2 available)
Year Without Summer 2mL
Black Cat Cuddles
Boudicca
Daydreams
Demimonde (2 available)
Elizabeth
Glowing
Hoyden (2 available)
Jo
Poison Pen Lane (2 available)
Lush
Northmen
Shire Yuletide (2 available)
Something Fierce
Tempus Fugit
Windsor
Woman Triumphant
Worth a Stare
Yet to be Written
​
Alkemia FS and house samples:
Amour Conjure FS
De La Foret FS
Forest Rose FS
La Sirena FS partial
Vanille Vert (Vintage Reserve) FS partial
Yuletide Blessing FS
Evil Temptress
Hearthstone
La Flamme
Sea Goddess
The Sybilla (Ultime)
Vixen (beautifully aged batch, long discontinued)
​
Alkemia decantables ($4/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following
Fireflies in the Garden (alcohol free EDP)
Frondescence (alcohol free EDP)
June Rainbow Alchemy
​
Alpha Musk FS and house samples:
Amber Rose FS
Aretha FS
Baby Hairs FS
Beastress FS
Celestial Musk FS partial
Cristille FS
Dreaming of the Past FS
Fling FS
Hard Luck FS
Madame Moustache FS
Orange FS
Orange Blossom to the Tune of Jo Mo FS partial
Ovary FS
Pass The Jug FS
Stone Musk FS
The Noble Sloth FS
Velvet Fir FS
Whispers at the Altar FS
Rose Myrrh Musk Soda Pop 2mL dram
The Naked Witch 1.5mL dram
After Dinner Mints
Alice in Her Uniform
Bubbly Amber
Cheery
Cup of Tea Musk
Flustered
Hair Flip
Idle Ideals
Poe
Stone Musk
Sweet Dreams
Vroom
​
Alpha Musk Decantables ($3.50/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Greige
​
Alchemic Muse FS and house samples:
Gillyflower FS
Temptation FS
Phantasm
​
Andromeda’s Curse FS and house samples:
Firefly Hollow FS
Hex FS
Unicorn
​
Arcana Wildcraft FS and house samples:
Note that any FS can be decanted at $5/mL!
Aquila FS ⭐️
Black Sand FS
Crossing FS
Forest Witch FS
Gideon FS
Grainne Mhaol FS
Hooded Lady FS ⭐️
Jinx FS
Love FS
Maman Brigitte FS
My Heart Was Like The Weather When You Came FS ⭐️
Nott FS
Persephone’s Flowers FS 10mL
Skookum FS
Waterfall FS partial
Delicatus
Herne
​Spark
​
Arcana Wildcraft decantables ($5/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Cascadian Mermaid
Trust
​
Arcana Craves FS and samples:
Note that all FS listed below can be decanted at $5 per mL!
Apples Crave Leafy Seadragons FS ⭐️
Apples Crave Peaches FS ⭐️
Black Musk Layering Note FS
Blueberries Crave Garden Parties FS ⭐️
Caramel Layering Note FS ⭐️
Honey Craves Festivals FS
Moss Layering Note FS
Pumpkins Crave Wraiths FS
Pumpkins Crave Viola FS
Strawberries Crave Nyx FS partial
Strawberries Crave Summer FS
Vanilla Craves Sparkly Dresses FS ⭐️
Honey Craves Sunshowers ⭐️
​
Arcana Craves decantables ($5/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Apples Crave Flora
Apples Crave Leafy Seadragons
Apples Crave Peaches ⭐️
Apples Crave Resins
Apples Crave The Tropics
Blueberries Crave Garden Parties
Fresh Coconut Layering Note
Honey Craves Fairy Rings
Honey Craves Hungry Ghosts ⭐️
Honey Craves Paradise
Lemon Shortbread Layering Note
Peaches Crave Mambo
Peaches Crave Mermaidcore
Peaches Crave Rainbow Starfish ⭐️
Pumpkins Crave Quietude
Pumpkins Crave Bacon ⭐️
Red Lipstick Layering Note
Vanilla Craves Forest Rituals
Whipped Cream Layering Note
​
Astrid FS and house samples:
Chalet FS
Dreaming of October FS partial
Merci 26 FS partial
Nostalgic FS partial
Trinkets and Feathers FS
Rouge Fumee
Woods Whispering About You Fondly (2 available)
​
Astrid Decantables ($4/mL or $7 for 2mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Tea Time
​
Balefire Apothecary FS:
Valkyrie
​
Black Baccara FS:
​Conifer Farm FS partial
​
Blooddrop FS:
A Multitude of Stars on a Hot Summers Night
The Restless Mare
​
Blood Moon Botanica FS and samples:
Samhain Night FS
Autumn Camp
​
BPAL FS and house samples:
V’al Hanissim Yule 2019 FS
Anubis
Cleric (RPG Series) ⭐️
Delight
Eclipse
The Ghost
Ut Ameris, Amabilis Esto
White Rabbit
Yemaya
​
CocoaPink decantables:
Lipstick Stains EDP 5mL rollerball decant
​
Darling Clandestine FS bottles:
Monstre Delicat (2022 formula)
Serpentina
​
Deconstructing Eden 5mL bottles and house samples:
Cross My Heart 5mL partial
It Can't Rain All The Time 5mL rollerball decant
Pisces 5mL partial
The Bride 5mL partial
The Nice List 5mL partial
Solace
Under The Mistletoe
​
Deconstructing Eden Decantables ($6.00 for 2mLs):
In The Gloaming
It Can't Rain All The Time
Pumpkins Revenge
​
Death & Floral FS and house samples:
Decomposing Roses For A Decomposing Romance (rice bran oil base) FS
Deer Deer Deer FS
Yellow Rose EDP FS
Coconut Chia Seed Pudding (discontinued)
​
Death & Floral Decantables ($5.00 for 2mL):
Swamp Elixir EDP
The People You Love Become Ghosts EDP
Yellow Rose EDP
​
Fantome FS and samples:
Madame d’Esperance 10mL roller
Coyoacan (2 available) ⭐️
Koschei the Deathless ⭐️
Kupala ⭐️
Lycanthorpe ⭐️
​
Fyrinnae FS and house samples:
Isle of the Dead FS
Jungle Cat FS
Danse Macabre
​
Haus of Gloi FS and house samples:
Black Musk, Red Ginger, & Clove FS
Ferntree Gully FS partial
Hearth FS
Iced Resin FS
Lumps of Coal FS
Mama’s Haus FS
Nag Champa FS
Precious Resins and Snowy Fir FS
Iced Resin FS
Priestess FS
​
Haus of Gloi Retired Catalog Decantables ($4.00/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Iced Earth
Portland Rain
Winter Rain
​
Haus of Gloi EDP Decantables ($3.00/mL or $9.00 for 5mL roller):
Come Hither EDP
Depravity EDP
Forest Rain EDP
Haus Amber At Midnight EDP
Haus Birthday EDP
Hearth EDP
Pumpkin Eater EDP
Real Coal EDP
Red Roan EDP
Silver Bells EDP
Snow Wolf EDP
​
Hagroot FS and drams:
Haunted Rose 3.7mL dram
New Orleans 3.7mL dram
​
Hexennacht FS and house samples:
Black Musk FS
Fougere Accord EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS
Espiritismo 4mL square dram
Strychnine 3.7mL dram
Green Musk
Killer Queen (2 available)
Morphine
Prehnite
Rhubarb & Custard
Take Me To Church ⭐️
​
Moonalisa FS bottles:
Cranberry Spiced Cookie
Sugared Forest
​
NAVA FS and samples:
Amethyst (Studio Limited) FS partial
Artemisia Crypta Obscura Half Bottle
Avatar FS ⭐️
Bastet's Potion Studio No. 113 FS
Bewitched Crypta Obscura Half Bottle
Breath of Gods: Ra Crypta Obscura Half Bottle 🌸
Cardamom & Anise Tea Crypta Obscura Half Bottle 🌸
Crimson (Studio Limited) (Aged batch) FS partial
Crystalline # 7 Crypta Obscura Half Bottle🌸
Dragon’s Eye FS partial
Ederra FS partial
Eternal Cairo FS
Eternal Nile FS
Hat en Tjhenu FS
Isis FS
Krimson FS
Magnifique FS
Mr Belgraves FS
NAliday Tree 2021 FS
Neon Vampire FS
Purple Musk FS ⭐️
Shield FS
Strength FS partial
Sucre Crypta Obscura Half Bottle 🌸
Yulunga FS
Bastet’s Caramel Swirl 2mL house sample
Egyptian Musk & Santalum Deux 2mL house sample
Eternal Aswan 2mL house sample
Hadean Eon 2mL house sample
Heliotrope Crystalline 2mL house sample
Ice Cream and Summer Rose 2mL house sample
Jack o Lantern 2mL house sample
Nikolav 2mL house sample
Nut & Geb (Meditations W The Gods) 2mL house sample
Papaya White Santalum 2mL house sample
Ptah 2mL house sample
Royal Sandalwood: Jasmine 2mL house sample
Solaris 2mL house sample
Symbiosis 2mL house sample (partial)
Tibetan Santalum 2mL house sample (partial)
Vetiver & Woods 2mL house sample
Amethyst (Studio Limited)
Amulet
Bastet Amber Solar Summer
Bastet's Bewildering Contessa Biscuit
Beauty’s Where You Find It
Blue Topaz (Studio Limited)
Crimson Elixir
Crystalline # 2
Dionysus
Envie Exclusif - Saphir Soir ⭐️ 💎
Envie Exclusif - Saphir Indira ⭐️ 💎
Eternal Ankh Rose de Mai ⭐️
Forest Musk
Go Halainn
Hat en Tjhenu
Indigo (Studio Limited)
Indigo / Crystalline Deux
Loveasaurus
Orchid Yellow
Pink Lemonade Tropical Fish
Pink Quartz (Studio Limited)
Purple Musk
Royal Sandalwood Jasmine
Royal Sandalwood Rose
Smoked Tea and Amber Resin
Solaris
Sommeil l'Ete '22
Tobacco Musk
​​
PULP Fragrance FS and house samples:
An Accidental Interloper FS 10mL roller bottle
Cathedral of Trees 4mL roller
Embrace 4mL roller
Fortune Favors 4mL roller
Hauntology FS 6mL amber bottle
Luna Violacea FS 10mL roller
Mark of the Moon FS 6mL amber bottle
New Snow Moon FS 10mL roller bottle
Sanctuary FS 4mL roller
Still Life FS 4mL roller
When What to My Wandering Eyes FS 4mL roller partial
Accidental Interloper
Hallowed Ground
​
PULP Fragrance Decantables ($4.5/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED in smaller 1mL units as well!
​
Sixteen92 FS and house samples:
Erineyes FS partial
Ex Tenebris Lux (from original release) FS partial
Lafayette Cemetery No 1 FS
The Island of The Dolls (From original 2016 release) FS partial
Wise Blood FS
Aquila
Be Careful What You Wish For
Blanket of the Dark (From original 2016 release)
Bridget Bishop (Premium)
Laudanum (Premium)
Les Fleurs de Mal (Premium)
Really Most Sincerely Dead! ⭐️
​
Sixteen92 Decantables ($4.50/mL):
All of the FS listed above are decantable, plus:
Gryla
The Romance of Certain Old Clothes EDP
​
Solstice Scents FS and house samples:
Coquina ⭐️
Devils Milhopper FS partial ⭐️
Farmhouse in Summer FS ⭐️
First Flush FS
Flowers Nocturnal FS partial
Gulf Breeze FS
Monarch FS 10mL ⭐️
Night Watcher FS
Outpost FS partial ⭐️
Riverside Hayride FS 10mL ⭐️
Rose Leather FS
Solstice Kyphi FS
Heart of the Night
Manor EDP
Old Havana
​
Solstice Scents Decantables ($4.50/mL)
Special deal! Buy a 5mL decant rollerball of any EDP for $16!
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following
Foxcroft EDP
Witches Cottage EDP
​
Stereoplasm FS and house samples (pocket rollers and screw top vials:
Lasseiz Faire FS (4.5mL) ⭐️
Monster Frog FS (4.5mL) ⭐️
Golden Hour FS (4.5mL)
Blue Magpie
Comet Corn
Dark Dark
Mogwai
Tamias (Chipmunk)
The Green Ribbon
Venusian Moon
​
Strange Fire & Fumery FS bottles:
Swallow
​
Sucreabeille FS and samples:
Atlantis FS
Azrael FS
Chthulu (Elder God) FS
The Kraken FS
​
Wylde Ivy FS and samples:
​Chasing Dreams 5mL decant
Barefoot in the Garden (Perfume oil version) FS roller
Honeysuckle Sun 5mL decant
Lovesick and Undead 5mL decant
Mist and Moonlight 5mL decant
Pumpkin Ambre
​
Whisper Sisters FS:
Cellar - LE discontinued
Dominula
Gamayun
Smitten Kitten
The Witch
Winter Rose
​
Spreadsheet link again — https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1P7e9eQaZ8zfztiYp1_ZHSmXC7yN3xbKDNkGQ328HWKs/edit?usp=sharing