Chinese restaurant around my area
2011.01.12 21:43 Chicago Food
A place to share your favorite spots and talk to other like-minded food people about your favorite Chicago restaurants
2014.08.12 01:29 AOL_ San Diego "American's finest" food sub.
Official food sub for sandiego Dedicated towards showcasing food from all over the San Diego area - especially our local border cuisine (INCLUDING TIJUANA). Share pictures, reviews, websites, etc. Not just limited to pictures of food, but anything food related in San Diego, California.
2012.04.16 03:31 jnfr Food in San Francisco
San Francisco Food thoughts, what is happening with food, what to try, what to remember.
2023.06.10 20:22 DaddyThiccDicc2 Upgrade worth it?
is it worth it to upgrade my current GPU to an RTX 3060 / 3060TI? budget of around £300 - £350. i saw some deals on amazon offering the 3060 at around this price range.
My current specs:
Intel(R) Core(TM) i5-10400F CPU @ 2.90GHz 2.90 GHz
16.0 GB installed ram
NVIDIA GeForce RTX 2060
Thank you in advance.
submitted by DaddyThiccDicc2
to buildapc [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 CreamyJuicyCows I have had enough of living here.
Okay before anything else, this is a rant, sorry if I don't have any insight on any architectural knowledge. But I have absolutely had enough of living in my craphole "apartment" I have no way of explaining this
Where do I start? My "living room" is the size of a shoebox. Or kitchen room rather, connected kitchen and living room. 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom and 1 storage room.
So that's not the problem, tiny space, cool whatever.
The problem of course is the cancerous, (And I emphasis Cancerous.) Garage doors opening literally all day, everyday, 50 times a week, I don't actually keep track. It's just this cancerous droning sound that lasts for 10 seconds, it pisses me off without end, some morons open the garage door multiple times in one visit for no reason, last time I literally almost lost it, that one person opened the garage door like 4 times, each two intervals, so that's 8 times in total within 4 minutes. If you can listen to this and be alright, you're unbothered and probably part of the problem.
The second reason why my apartment is a cancer is that the people with children upstairs have been running around all day, everyday for the past 4 years, ever since I moved into this apartment. I mean we already reported this and they just keeps on doing this.
I really don't care if I get banned on here, I just want to say that I hope that the Architect that designed this place, the city councils, the contractors, whoever came up with this place, I hope they burn in the worst part of Hell. I literally do not care, I hope they get the worst outcome for making my life a living Hell.
And before you say anything, no I can't' leave. I won't get into why. I can't work either.
submitted by CreamyJuicyCows
to architecture [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 AccomplishedPlace307 [17M] hiii I am looking for a [relationship]
I am straight and I like math and other topics related to math.i like memorizing stuff. I also bike and can slove rubic cubes . I also take flower pics . Dm me if u are around my age :)
submitted by AccomplishedPlace307
to MakeNewFriendsHere [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 Gomihyang Comrades Need Open Minds
Without an open mind that allows you to accept new ideas that go against pre-conceived boundaries you may have had, you are going to become a bolshevik. We are all dialectical materialists, but some comrades are focusing too much on dialectics and not enough on materialism. We need to keep in mind that at the end of the day, a human is a beast with complex emotions and irrational desires. If we were all logic-based organisms, we would have communism from the beginning. Human minds typically don’t work in the most logical ways.
People go through life doing what they think will make them happy and satisfy their primitive desires for sex, food, shelter, maybe wealth and fame, etc. Because people are so focused on those things (Especially in this country where they are systematically deprived of their basic needs and social life) it is difficult to appeal logically to these higher philosophies such as Marxism-Leninism. If you throw the manifesto at them and say things like “Become a communist, it’s the most logical ideology!” you’re not going to win anyone over. Not even a dog or a cat could be convinced with such methods. You need to get people thinking, and you need to appeal to a person’s emotions in order to make them receptive to an ideology. Anybody who understands the ideology can logically come to conclusions about what a communist would do in a certain situation, but that knowledge alone is not what makes a person become a revolutionary. You need to allow the other person to realize that this ideology was made for them. It was literally made for those who are economically oppressed. Once a person understands and begins to articulate a desire for socialism, they will probably never feel the need or desire to follow anything else.
And all that being said, comrades need to understand that socialism does not exist in a vacuum and various factors about your country will affect the systems of administration you are going to have. People in the US are very materialistic and like to buy useless plastic things, so they will probably benefit from a Chinese system where the masses have a large disposable income that is used in markets, but no single merchant is ever allowed to become a huge billionaire because that is destructive to society. Some of the more Bolshevik comrades will see this and call it revisionism, but in a society that is so focused on buying things, an increase in standard of living will inevitably result in increased spending. The rigidity around the ideology and the strict adherence to extreme principles such as vow of poverty is why many people research Marxism-Leninism and then gain the perception that it is a puritan ideology. Take a deep breath, relax, and keep an open mind when administering a country or writing theory.
At the end of the day, socialism is not something to be a purist about or make into a competition of who is following Marx or Lenin in the best way. While we read theory to avoid making ideological mistakes, we understand that the greater purpose of socialism is to increase the standard of living of the workers. It’s not about recreating the USSR or any previous socialist state, and it is not about creating any society that was envisioned by philosophers or revolutionaries in the past.
submitted by Gomihyang
to Lavenderism [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 PeakedInMid Training accuracy stuck at 50 but validation accuracy is increasing.
Hi everyone, I tried to look this up but everyone seems to be having the opposite problem. I created a cnn with very unbalanced data. I used smote and dropout in my model since I was stuck overfitting at around 75. I finally reached above 80 percent in validation and test but my training accuracy stays at around 50? Is it possible that the model is filtering the synthetic data from smote? Thanks for the help!
submitted by PeakedInMid
to MLQuestions [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 AI0 AutoModerator performed action `removelink`
Target User: u/Anonymous371281
Title: Need help with taking down defamatory, harmful and false content impersonating me on Twitter
Hello Reddit. I'm posting from an anonymous account to share my distressing experience and seek guidance. I apologize in advance for not revealing the specific usernames or forum involved to protect my identity.
Sometime around August 2021, an individual on Twitter (whom I'd prefer not to name) began targeting me by posting screenshots of my posts from a public forum (which I won't disclose). These screenshots showcased what I now acknowledge were my own mistakes. They were indeed poorly constructed or misguided, and I take full responsibility for them. Over time, other users joined in, perpetuating this negative behavior.
The situation escalated as this user, and subsequently others, labeled my posts as 'bad' and 'trash, made by skids.' I understand their perspective, and I genuinely regret my past actions. However, this user took it further by impersonating my identity, posting defamatory tweets and disseminating false information, which included a fabricated post that I never made on the forum, containing bad words and inappropriate content.
I have made countless reports to Twitter, but unfortunately, the issue persists. Even though some of the posts were deleted either by me or the forum moderators, this user and others have managed to keep the screenshots circulating, causing ongoing distress and harm to my online reputation.
The most recent incident occurred in November 2022, demonstrating that this problem has persisted over a considerable period. I am genuinely sorry for my past posts and want to rectify my mistakes. I have learned from these experiences and wish to move forward positively.
At this point, I'm seeking advice and assistance from the community. How can I effectively address this situation and have the impersonating content and screenshots taken down? I want to protect my online reputation, make amends, and demonstrate that I've learned from my past actions.
Thank you all for your understanding and support. I greatly appreciate any guidance or suggestions you can provide.
submitted by AI0
to Twitter_Mod_logs [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 Jaymes77 best candela obscura game tips?
I know that the game hasn't been out long thus far, but do any of you have any tips regarding the game thus far? Specifically.
- Ideas around adjudication of rolls
- Things I might want to avoid?
- Areas that I can maybe "stretch the system"
- any other suggestions not mentioned above.
submitted by Jaymes77
to CandelaObscura [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 otaku_rairiu My WIP raiden build thoughts?
| || |
Ik I need more catch refinements and I'm currently working in that. I also want some more atk, like around 2k. I just need thoughts from other raiden mains bc my friends are either Xiao or Wanderer mains💀. submitted by otaku_rairiu to RaidenMains [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 cjrowens I am 19 and i think I have destroyed my entire life
I have no reason to be such an awkward person, I have a good family and many friends, or I did.
After graduation I moved away and lived alone for 8 months. I was a party kid in highschool, since 15 Ive been regularly smoking pot and drinking. When I first lived alone I stopped smoking and started drinking more. Nowadays, and since maybe February, I drink all day.
If im unemployed I wake up, drink, and watch Youtube or listen to music all day. I rarely blackout, Im just content to get less and less present all day. If I have a job I drink the night or morning before and right after, I act pathetic and quiet around almost anyone in a public setting. I shake and twitch constantly, I have the darkest eyebags you have ever seen.
I had a lot of insomnia when I lived alone, thats approved as has my diet since coming back to my hometown. My people skills have improved a bit as well and people think im funny at my new job but I’m calling in more and more. My manager is my high school friend and he has been very supportive, I’ve lied and said I have some sort of blood problem and hes bought it but I was supposed to work today and im not going to because im drinking.
A few nights ago I heard voices all around me criticizing me and I could hear my friends cheering for me to be arrested and wanting to beat me up and calling me a pussy and all sorts of shit and I hid in my bed, drunk and terrified and delusional. I called my friend twice confused and slurring and asking where he was because I could hear him outside. (This is the friend whos also my boss.)
He was in bed both times and I have never heard a human sound as concerned about me as he sounded responding to my call. He asked if I was ok and seemed genuinely disturbed.
I am doubting my reality, I am scared that whatever front I have to convince people im not a massive drunk is cracking.
I used to like rum, now I exclusively drink high ABV vodka and I go to the liquor store almost everyday. I get sick if I manage to not drink for a day. I just nurse on vodka all fucking day.
Im scared I have wetbrain, Im scared that im going to hear voices again, im scared that my friends will give up on me because I just get more cold, awkward, and rigid every single day.
So thats off my chest i guess lol idk what im asking for.
submitted by cjrowens
to stopdrinking [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:22 qvo-87 29 / NA / Looking for someone to co-op with
Hello! All of my friends:
- 1 game mains and only play that one game
- Are part of discord servers with 100 people where half the people you've never met and the other half wouldn't notice if you ever returned
- Play a game for a day then a new one the next (can't "complete" a game)
- Start a game then disappear for 3 weeks
- I play from around 5PM CST to about 1AM CST most days + weekends. I have a family so I don't game every day but most.
- I play a wide variety of games. So far this year:
- World of Tanks
- Escape from Tarkov
- Call of Duty Cold War Zombies
- The Forest
- Total War (Warhammer, Rome, etc)
- The Way of the Hunter
- War Thunder
- Arma Antistasi
- Games I'm not into (maybe you can convince me otherwise):
- League of Legends
- Super big, grindy MMOs (WoW, Black Desert, Eve)
- Arcady stuff with no progression (PubG, Overwatch, Apex, Fortnite etc)
- I'm a competitive style player, I like to win, and I like to get a sense of accomplishment. But I'm not a sweat lord who yells at you because we lost
- I have a family, a business, and a job.
- I like to hunt, hike and fish
- Looking for someone I'll be actual friends with and not just someone I played a game with one time until we moved to different games. My best friend I meet playing games 8 years ago and we just got back from a vegas trip with our wives. Not saying we need to get to that level haha, just that I'm looking for something different than we beat the forest together and then peaced out.
- I'm playing Call of Duty Zombies right now, I kinda want to beat the story. Also been having the itch to beat the Ark story before Ark 2 comes out. I just tried to play the forest but my friend kinda flaked before we completed the last bit. I'm open to other games of course too.
- Are into the same types of games (or some of the same) I am
- Are not 19-years old living with their parent's, whose primary hobby is playing games, getting high, and partying. (You live your life, no judgment from me, we just won't have a lot in common to talk about is all).
- Like to play a variety of games.
- Like to reach end game of games where it makes sense (Ark, Call of Duty Zombies, The Forest), and don't mind putting games down that don't have one after a while (Tarkov, World of Tanks, match-based stuff).
- Don't need to agree on everything with your friends. They can have different political, social, etc type views and it's cool. You can even learn something from them and teach something in return.
- Play at least a few days a week. I have a life to but if you only play 2 hours a week it's hard to get very far into anything.
- Have some kind of hobby outside of computers.
- Don't want me to join a discord server with you 50 best friends. But I'm cool with hanging out with a couple of your friends and hope you are cool hanging out with a couple of friends of mine. People who will get to know you/I. Just not looking to join the mega community that people will forget my name 2 hours after I joined.
I'll be on most of today
submitted by qvo-87
to GamerPals [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:21 katieeeogeee Not getting enough calories in
Hey y’all, I’m new here. On day 6 and I THINK I’m past the worst of the flu. I’ve been tracking the past week and for some reason I cannot get above 1200 calories. I would comfortably like to be around 1400 a day, as this is still a deficit to me. I’m doing “clean keto” so no dairy or eggs (this is for health reasons as both are inflammatory to me) and I’m finding it extremely hard to get my calories up. Is it okay to eat 1-2 large avocados a day? Idk what else I can eat that is nutrient dense aside from peanut butter. Any suggestions?
submitted by katieeeogeee
to keto [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:21 insecureslug ND married to NT and I am feeling guilty for how little I socialize with his family
I’m actually rather social but of course my battery runs out quickly. If my partner makes plans in the beginning of the week I’m excited but of course by the time arrives I’m worn out and exhausted and I just can’t socialize. I guess it makes me come off as moody and rude and while he has been supportive (I explained to him I’m a person who is not family oriented/spend lots of time with family) and hasn’t pressured me when I say no. I can still see the hurt in his face. In addition to this his family does not like me much at all because I don’t match their energy with this. We both come from different cultures as well so in his culture it’s 100% family all the time and in my culture it’s much more individualized with a smaller emphasis on family (aka I’m American lol)
I try to explain to him it’s not against anyone and I just cant I absolutely physically and mentally can not visit with people if I’m not in that space at all. Our house is small and so I can’t avoid guests at all when they are over so I will literally be stuck in our room for hours or a day or two going hungry even for as long as necessary until they are gone. I have always been that way even since I was a kid. So there is some trauma with this as well as my own family would relentlessly bully me over this and forcefully bring strangers into my space to make me socialize even if I wasn’t decent and unprepared. It does stress him out how I have a very strict no unexpected visitors rule of our house (even if I’m not there) and my own personal rule. As his family is all about unexpected visits and an entitlement to enter our home whenever they request because their homes are always open. If I know his family is in the area and they want to drive by I have to say a million times “they can’t come in” but I don’t mean he can’t see them. So many wonderful spaces nearby they can spend time in, why does it always have to be our house? He panics because he can’t set this boundary with them and I feel so awful putting him in this position.
It just makes me feel crazy, like why can’t I just suck it up and go out there and put on a smile? For my partners sake? I just feel so terrible because he just wants to share this side of his life with me that is so important to him and I only see his family for an hour or two at most once every few months. I feel like he has seen his family less over this as well because he wants to be with me.
Am I as horrible as I feel?
submitted by insecureslug
to AutismInWomen [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:21 FutureOT22 OT Summer Camps?
Recent grad working in a school setting- I was wondering if anyone knows of summer camps in NY or around the tri-state area that provide therapy and hire occupational therapists?
submitted by FutureOT22
to OccupationalTherapy [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:21 Great-Distribution33 new psu
i need to replace my old power supply with a new one. it's a cheap 500w power supply that has a loud fan and a lot of coil whine that makes me wanna throw it out the window. these are the only "good" options i found (i hope they are good) in my country that fit in my budget.
- Thermaltake Smart BM2 80 Plus Bronze 650W - $68
- EVGA 600 GD 600W 80 PLUS Gold - $71
- Corsair CV650 650W 80 PLUS Bronze - $73
- Be quiet! System Power 650W 80 Plus Bronze - $73
- Seasonic B12 BC-650 80+ Bronze 650W - $75
- Thermaltake Smart BM2 80 Plus Bronze 750W - $78
- Be quiet! System Power 9 600W CM 80Plus Bronze - $82
my specs are : i5 9400f, 16gb ram, 2 ssd, rx 6700 10gb. I've searched for 600w+ so that they won't be loaded more than 50% ( my system is supposed to consume around 300w. cpu around 73w, gpu at 120w max) so they should be able to stay quiet. thx :)
submitted by Great-Distribution33
to PcBuildHelp [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:21 Generic_Username_321 Sweaty Hands & My Dermadry Journey
Just started using Dermadry and I'm going to try and update this every other day to help keep me on track and using it as frequently as I am supposed to because I'm bad about sticking to a routine. This may be more for myself than anything, but if someone else finds it useful, even better. I'll try and format it by sections so you can just read the parts you're interested in.
Using the "Upgraded version" with the rubbery bottom mat, and hexagonal grid top mat. I am using bottled water at room temp, however, I have read others using different types of water, and even adding chemicals to the water. For now, I will stick with bottled water, and depending on the results in 2 months, I may change it up.
6/10/23 - 10:00 AM Treatment 1: I used ~250ml of room temp bottled water in each tray. Set the current strength to 5mA to just feel it out (1-15mA is recommended). For the first couple of minutes, I couldn't feel anything, but as we approached the 15min mark I could feel a slight tingling and my hands were a little itchy. The biggest surprise came at the 15min, 10min, and 5min mark (I think). The voltage readout displayed "L5" and I felt a shock strong enough to make my forearms spasm and tense up. It wasn't painful, just a weird feeling, and I assume this has to do with its rotating current phases. Their website states "L5 will be displayed when the tension is lower than 5 volts." I don't know what that means, but I will contact customer support about it. My hands were a bit sweaty after I finished up, and the itchiness was gone after a few minutes, but after an hour my hands dried up a bit and have been completely dry for several hours. I plan on doing it again at 5mA tomorrow and then give it a day of rest before upping the voltage up to 7 or 8mA.
Background: I'm in my late 20s and have suffered from sweaty hands for as long as I can remember. I would say I have it moderate during most of the day, but in social situations, it can go up to a 10 in severity. I'm talking wiping my hands with a paper towel over 10min will completely soak it through. At its worst, I can clench my fist and literally have beads of sweat run off. I get a bit self-conscious in social situations, but I wouldn't say I have bad social anxiety. But it's this slight nervousness that really sets off my sweaty hands.
Improvised treatments: I started out trying to dry my hands with harsh chemicals on a few occasions when I knew I had a social event of some sort that would involve shaking hands. I would soak my hands in brake cleaner or rubbing alcohol as I work with them and had it lying around. Alcohol would just dry it for a bit, but sweating would come back 10-fold within 30min after. Brake cleaner lasted a while longer, but is absolutely terrible for your skin, your health, etc. Please for the love of god, DO NOT use brake cleaner, I was young and stupid and it only worked for a few hours at a time. I also tried wearing latex gloves during my entire time working as it caused me to sweat a bunch and would get my hands to sweat so much, that sometimes it would prevent me from sweating further the rest of the day. This kind of worked, but my work environment has changed, and working in latex gloves now would just make people think I was a psycho. My final attempt was to just get healthy. For a whole year, I dropped almost all caffeine, drank nothing but water, and dietary/workout shakes, worked out and had a diet to match with hardly any dietary cheating. This helped out mostly with social situations, as I wouldn't be near as self-conscious, but I still would get severe sweating during dates, big meetings, and school tests.
Antiperspirants: I bought some Dove Clinical Strength antiperspirant and used that for a while, applying it before bed, or during the day and letting dry under a fan for 15-30min. This would help for normal day stuff, but the moment anything like a date, or a meeting with a boss occurred, it would be like I hadn't done anything. After about two weeks of on-and-off applications, I switched to trying Certain Dri with the results being about the same. The third product I tried was Sweat Block Wipes which were less effective than the previous ones. Not saying these products aren't good, they just weren't effective for me. The last product I tried was Antihydral, I ordered this at the same time as Dermadry and was by far the best. One application with just enough that you could tell there was a layer on there, and let dry for 15-30min under a fan kept my hands dry for days at a time. I only tried this a couple of times before my Dermadry unit came in, so this is my fallback plan if Dermadry doesn't work. I hear from some users the effectiveness of Antihydral can wear off over time, so I have put that on pause while I just do Dermadry.
Medical treatments: I went to a dermatologist and was prescribed Glycopyrrolate. This would help if taken in high doses, but when I got a new dermatologist he highly advised against taking it in the dosages I was. I still have a lot of it left over, and will still take it before a date or social event. In combination with the antiperspirants, this is still fairly effective but requires planning ahead and remembering to take it. I have fairly good medical insurance, but after talking it over with the doctor, the cost of Botox with the side effects and longevity of the treatment made me put it off as a final Hail Mary if all else fails. Finally, I got Dermadry and that's what I'm starting now, and we will see how this works for me.
submitted by Generic_Username_321
to Hyperhidrosis [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:21 Reviewgot 5 Amazing Benefits of Using Bluehost Web Hosting!
Hey there, welcome back to our channel! In this article today, we're going to explore the five amazing benefits of using Bluehost as your web hosting provider. If you're ready to start your online journey to create a new blog, website
, or application then need it.
1 . Reliable Performance
Reliability is important when it comes to web hosting. With Bluehost's outstanding uptime guarantee, you can be sure that your website will always be accessible to users. You can rely on Bluehost to offer great performance thanks to their potent servers and optimized architecture, enabling your site to load quickly and manage big traffic levels with ease.
2. Easy Website Setup
It shouldn't be difficult to set up a website, and Bluehost excels in this area. You can quickly launch your website thanks to their simple installation process and user-friendly UI. Bluehost offers a range of templates and tools to streamline the design process, making it simple for both novice and seasoned users to build a beautiful online presence.
3. Enhanced Security
Security is of the utmost importance in today's digital world. Bluehost takes website security seriously and provides a range of effective solutions to shield it from any dangers. They provide free SSL certificates to protect the data of your visitors and guarantee a safe surfing environment. Additionally, Bluehost employs cutting-edge safeguards like SiteLock, spam defence, and automated backups to protect your important data.
4. Scalability and Flexibility
You'll need a hosting company
that can adapt to your changing demands as your website expands. Scalable hosting options from Bluehost let you start small and upgrade easily as your website grows. No matter if you're managing a personal blog, an online store, or a commercial website, Bluehost offers the flexibility to easily meet your needs.
5. Excellent Customer Support
Bluehost offers excellent customer service, which is definitely not the least important thing. Any queries or problems you may run into along the route may be addressed by their team of specialists, who are on call around the clock. Bluehost makes sure you get quick and dependable assistance whenever you need it by offering live chat, phone support, and a thorough knowledge base.
The top five reasons to use Bluehost are listed above. Bluehost provides a complete hosting solution
for all your requirements, with dependable performance, simple website creation, improved security measures, scalability and flexibility, and first-rate customer service. Give Bluehost a try if you're prepared to launch your website with confidence. Don't forget to press the notification button, like this video, and subscribe to our channel to receive updates on new informative articles.
submitted by Reviewgot
to BlogExchange [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:21 GiversBot /u/MoonUnit79 [COMPLETED] was deleted from /r/borrow on 2023-06-10 (t3_ckyjkc up 1408.63 days, LONGTAIL, ACCOUNT DELETE/SHADOWBAN)
deleted from /borrow
- Account is deleted or shadowbanned
- Flair: COMPLETED
- Link to the deleted post
- Was a selfpost with score: 1
- Submitted 2019-08-02 03:11 (UTC)
- Was up for for approx 1408.63 days
- Probably deleted within the past 18.97 days
- Was last seen up around 2023-05-22 19:08 (UTC)
- Deletion detected at 2023-06-10 18:21 (UTC)
[REQ] ($100) - (#Austin, Texas, USA) ($125 on 8/23) (Cashapp/PayPal)
Post contents I’m a brand new borrower. I posted yesterday and just wanted to try again.. for a lower amount.
I’ve had some family issues and had to move very quickly. I was trying to do it slow and save up but it didn’t work out that way. I had to use all of my last check to move and have nothing to live on for a little bit.
I was able to go to food banks and that should help but I still need a bit for gas to get to work and just a few basics.
I prefer CashApp because I have a card for that but I also have PayPal.
submitted by GiversBot
to borrowdeletes [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 20:21 RelationshipInCrisi My boyfriend (M29) and I (F26) are on the rocks after 12 years
Hi all, TL:DR at bottom. For the first time in my life, I'm thinking of breaking off my relationship with my boyfriend of 12 years. We've been together since highschool, hes been my one and only this entire time. We've built a life together, a house, a dog, cats. My entire adult life has been spent with him. But I'm now not so sure if there's a future for us. We've always had problems. Minor spats here and there, but a big one that's been a point of contention since about 3 years in has been the intimacy. I was just finishing University and we had moved to a new city to be closer to my school and closer to his work. This was hard for him even if it benefitted him because it distanced him from his friends, which he had a real hard time with. This resulted in him using nearly all his free time taking the bus back to hang out with his friends. It was rare he'd be at home with me at all and when he was, he was so hungover from the nights previous with his friends that he couldn't do anything outside the apartment. When I got my license and a car, it became him begging me to drive him, "I'll get home sooner to see you" he'd say, which was true... The bus would take him near 3 hours while me driving him was only 40 minutes. But weekend after weekend of this left me feeling uninterested in having sex, and it dipped to about once a week, where it now still is. We've had loads of arguments regarding my sex drive being low, and how he's missing the connection of being with me physically. I've expressed that I feel like he doesn't make time for me other than to have sex, which always blows up into a big fight about how I don't realize how hard he works to keep this relationship going and how hard to tries to make me happy. Which is mostly true, he busts his ass at work and generally works hard. But I don't personally see the effort in regards to the missing emotional intimacy. This issue pops up periodically, maybe two or three big blowouts about it a year. All this to say, I'm not perfect. Not even close. I've had a terribly hard time being assertive and direct about how I feel which is detrimental to the relationship. I have depressive episodes which makes me a bummer to be around, I often let things fester to the boiling point because I fear confrontation. All this makes me far more agreeable to things I shouldn't be which no doubt hasn't been easy for him to navigate.
Honestly, I started having these doubts years ago. But I wanted to work on them and expected this to get better, especially as I had really started vocalizing my qualms but it seems to have only made things worse. But looking back there were a lot of... Inappropriate things I shouldn't have tolerated but was too young and naive to really act on, such as extreme jealous (male friend touched my hand while hiking to help me up a steep ridge, and he went off the handle saying he doesn't trust me,) he was oblivious to when I developed anorexia, he kept asking if I was gay because I would say no to sex, up until today during our not-enough-intimacy fights. It came to the point where I've been agreeing to sex reluctantly and have been getting more or less no sexual pleasure from it for years to keep the peace while I try to get us to work on my issues,, which I think he knows since there's no foreplay, and he knows I don't usually orgasm during it. Today, I had run out for a couple hours with the puppy to do some errands and chores and had just gotten home. I hadn't yet eaten so I was preparing myself something to eat. He asks if I'd like to have sex, to which I say I'm not feeling it, and I'm making lunch. He suggested afterwards, which I wasn't keen on either. So instead he asked if he could touch me while he gets off, which would mean delaying me making food so again I said no. This launched our trip/quazi-annual fight about lack of intimacy. I tried to explain to him that I need to feel more effort and emotional connection from him to be more open to having more sex. I want to feel important and valued, and like he wants to do things with me outside of watching tv. He proceeded to get really mad and defensive because he does put in effort in the form of finances and working on better his job prospects so we can have a better life. (For context, he makes about the same amount as I do yearly, just so no one assumes there's a breadwinner in this circumstance). It divolved into him angry and upset because he felt I wasn't listening to him, and that I'm basically asking him to forfeit one of the things he likes to do in his very small window of leisure time in order to satisfy me. (Which yes he does have a very narrow window of time, he works out from 8-10, his schedule has him working usually 10-7 WFH, and then he usually has some sort of meal prep which would take him from 7-9, if no meal prep then he'd play bass or read work-related things to improve his employable skills, which leaves me from 9-10 for basically TV). It got relatively heated, not yelling or insulting, on topic but both emotional and upset. I suggested that perhaps every second Saturday, we do a date night. We would alternate who plans the date, and we would each plan a date that we think the other would enjoy. He didn't like that idea at all. Instead he wants me to decide what I want to do as a date, plan it, and then ask if he wants to go. He said if I lead by example then he'll get a better understanding of what's expected and be able to do the same. My problem comes from the fact that this isn't a new suggestion, and this isn't the first conversation we've had about it. And I've done that But nothing comes of it and the cycle repeats. At this point, I'm nearly 30. I feel lonely in my own house, and I'm not sure where to go from here. We are tied together in every way, with the house only being owned by us under a year, three pets under 3, all our assets are together, we've only really dated each other... The implications of even considering breaking things off is daunting and life changing, especially since we live in a HCOL area so we'd both suffer tremendously. But I also can't help but think I'm overreacting to something minor and that it'd be a waste to just...throw this all away. I have no frame of reference for whether or not this is pretty normal stuff, and don't really have anyone in my life I can talk to about this.
So... I guess I wanted to know from others in similar positions what youve done and how it's worked out. Please be as blunt with me as possible. If what I've written screams that I'm the problem and that I need to work on xyz, please say so. If I'm the problem I want to work on it and do better.
Sorry for the wall of text but it felt really good to articulate my thoughts as I've not really done it in this much detail ever.
TL:DR: Boyfriend doesn't make time for me so I don't feel the intimate connection I require to be more sexually intimate. At what point is it no longer worth continuing the relationship?
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2023.06.10 20:21 FlashCardManiac Squares between each Magnetic Stabilizer?
My GoogleFu is weak. How many squares between each magnetic stabilizer around the Rift Station?
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2023.06.10 20:21 LeonZwei Farming gear for future content, what to aim for?
Currently I've beaten stage 16 dungeons with exception of Spider Den. I've one-keyed hard, and almost two-keyed brutal CB. Current team is Ronda, Anchorite (Aura lead), Sinesha, Geomancer and High Kathun with full masteries and level capped. Progress is steady but there's still areas I can improve on, champions are rng so I figure I can somewhat control gear. What sets should I aim for, what stats should I have HP-wise, accuracy, speed etc. at where I am? Anchorite has been a godsend since I can just leave crit rate at 70-75 and focus on other stats. Kaiden, Artak and Sethallia are also sitting at the vault but I don't see them improving my team compared to what I already have, thoughts?
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2023.06.10 20:21 Specialist-Employ-58 Idk if this will ever end
We tried for three years, lost a baby, then did IVF, which was very hard and I had to two rounds of hormones because I got OHSS then I had a traumatic birth experience and my baby was born premature. For the first month, I was by his side. I cried everyday when I had to leave him. Now that’s he’s home, around 2 1/2 months, I broken down into fetal position anxiety and panic attacks. I can’t even look at my baby without feeling panic. I can’t hold him for too long when I’m have a “good” moment, and if he cries I panic instantly. My husband has to do everything for the baby and I feel so guilty. I’m also scared I’m going to lose my husband, job and everything I’ve ever wanted because I can’t get my PPD under control. I’m on a lot of medication prescribed by a PPD specialist and talking to a therapist, but nothing is making it go away. I just want to be normal and love my baby again. I want to hold and look at my baby like other moms or even my husband. But idk if it’ll ever happen and I’m so scared like terrified. Has anyone else gone through this? Am I a monster for not feeling the bond anymore? Idk where it went and why it’s been replaced with perpetual fear.
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2023.06.10 20:20 humanhumanhuman2002 I think i need some help...
Ok so...I've had some feelings i've been dealing with and i dont really have anyone i can go to with these feelings so i made a reddit just so i can finally get some things off of my chest. I dont really expect anything but idk i had to say it somewhere. I wont include details for obvious reasons. But anyways...i have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the past 5 years. We met in high school and she has been my best friend ever since. Granted: i dont really have time for many friends, and i usually dont make much effort because i always feel out of place. She's great. She's pretty much perfect in all the ways i thought to be important. She's funny, she gets my weird humor, she likes a lot of the same things i like. I introduced her to a lot of my favorite movies and music and tv shows, and overall we do everything together. She loves me very much. Has the same beleifs and world views i do. And we have our whole future planned out. My parents love her, my friends get along well with her, and to everyone around us, we're the perfect couple. Its very comfortable...and for some reason im not happy here. I love her very much, we basically grew up together. We met as kids and are now full grown adults pursuing our careers. My career is a bit of a difficult one. Its not your average 9-5 and for her it has taken a bit of getting used to, but she loves and supports me through it all. It hasnt always been easy. We deffinately have had our ups and downs but we always communicate and come out the other way stronger. But theres a huge problem. Me. I just dont feel the same way anymore. I love her more than anything, but every day that passes i feel like im having to put up an act. I think im not physically attracted to her any more and our sex life really took a nosedive because of it. And i always had a high sex drive but recently i just havent been feeling it. And im still a very young guy. Im just often aggitated around her. When i kiss her, it doesnt feel sencire anymore. And when either one of us leaves town, i feel a bit of a sense of peace. I know im supposed to have all these feelings, but for some reason i dont have them anymore. Im the asshole here, i know. Im the problem here, but i dont know what to do. I dont want to throw an amazing 5 years away just like that. Its not fair to her who has loved me and supported me all these years through thick and thin. Besides that, i do love her and dont want her to not be a part of my life. I always thought she would be the girl i marry. My first and my last. I dont know what to do, i dont know how to fix myself. All i know is sometging deffinately has to change.
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