I’ve been out as nonbinary for two years, but since around the time that I came out I’ve wondered if I’m actually trans ftm. It’s something that I am really struggling to figure out, alongside whether I want to pursue medical transition, and part of what’s getting in my way are strong feelings of guilt.
I’m in school studying pure math, which is probably the most male-dominated academic field. I live as a nonbinary person and haven’t medically transitioned, so even though I dress masc, have short hair, try to lower my voice, etc, most people perceive me as a woman (“woman-lite” at best). In almost every class or research setting I’m in, I have been the only “woman”/non-cis-male person in the room. Because of this, I feel horrible about the idea of transitioning: I would literally, single-handedly obliterate the apparent female math population of my school. I also take pride in having overcome a lot of sexism to get where I am, and in increasing female representation in my university’s math department.
I feel like if I fully transitioned and accepted myself as ftm, I would harm mathematics by reducing my school’s visible gender diversity, I would betray the female mathematicians and physicists who have mentored me to this point, and I would throw away all of the work I once put into succeeding despite the rampant sexism in the field. I already feel this way after coming out as nonbinary, and going any further would just make this so much worse :(
At the same time, this is in direct opposition to how I actually feel about myself and my gender identity. There’s this conflict between what I think I should do for the good of others in my field and what I think I should do for myself. I don’t know how to manage it.
Lol anyway, I mostly just wanted to get this off my chest, but I’d appreciate it if ppl have advice about this.
I wish I was just born cis so I didn’t have to deal with this shit x_x

I already attempted a few times long ago and yet every single time I feel like my life is going the opposite way, it turns back towards it. I succeed and then immediately sabotage myself. I fuck up every good thing about my life that I've worked towards and all I can think about is how calm death would be. No choices, no fear, I can't hurt anybody and no one has to deal with me.
I'm trying so hard, I want to be there for the people I care about. I fucked up again and I quit my job on an emotional whim. It feels like it's a revolving cycle of hurting everyone I'm around. The only thing that's keeping me around is knowing that those people would be hurt if I died, but I'm scared once they finally leave me I'll have nothing to live for. I don't like myself, I don't like anything about myself. I feel like my thoughts always go back to my attempts, finishing what I started.
I don't know what to do anymore

Because we've seen what that level of power and greed and conflict does to him.
He's a worse person in every way than he was at the beginning of the series.
The only way he's "better" now is that he's become more like Logan. And Logan was an objectively terrible person who made the world worse by his actions. Who damaged everyone and everything around him.
I hope Ken does not become the American CEO.I hope he does not manage to block the deal.
I hope he finally and forever fails to get the top spot in whatever Waystar Co-GoJo becomes. Failure is his only way out of the poisonous environment his father created, a culture that corrupts and cheapens all who are part of it. Then maybe he can start to become something less toxic and pathetic.
If he loses, he'll have no choice now but to define who he is outside of Logan and the company. Call me optimistic but if he somehow survives losing, and finds a way forward -- then I think he will not die as his father did: lonely, miserable, feared, cruel, and ultimately hollow.

What was their temperature and what was your experience?
Last night around 11 my 4m old started to get really stuffy. That turned into a runny nose, which she's never had before.. I know, no big deal. But she was fussy all night and cranky. I was nervous she couldn't breathe and so I stayed up all night watching her chest move.
At one point (which was most likely hallucinations) I thought her ribs were contracting in and so I started to dress her and take her to the ER. It was about 4am. My husband stopped me and said I was being anxious and her breathing looked fine.
I was also monitoring her temperature all night. She developed a mild fever around 7am - 100.6 then just an hour later it went to 101.5 so im like surely this is dangerous?? Im bringing her to the ER. I called my pediatrician at 6 and she said we taking forever to call me back so I couldn't wait any longer.
When we got there, they kept asking "how many days" .. I said, "idk the exact amount of days shes 4 months old" .. they go "no, how many days has she had the fever". I said "days? She's had the fever for 1hr and a half"...... am I crazy for bringing my infant in that soon?? because I thought you bring them in if the temp is over 100.4 and I was being lenient waiting the hour after the 100.6.
Anyway, they basically just told me to do all I've been doing (saline, humidifier, snot sucker etc) and to give her infant Tylenol if another fever developed. She's doing much better now. I didn't even need to give her the Tylenol because her fever went and stayed down. I still haven't slept though so I'm pretty delulu atm.

Sacramento friends,
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Love to all!

MSI Raider GE77Hx 17.3" QHD 240Hz Gaming Laptop: Intel Core i7-12800HX RTX 3070 Ti 16GB DDR5 1TB NVMe SSD, Thunderbolt 4, USB-Type C, Cooler Boost 5, Win11 Pro: Dark Grey 12UGS-004, Blue
Used for light gaming and productivity. Not needed any longer since I'm no longer traveling for work and built a desktop. Overall the laptop is in great shape, I did remove the stickers and I left the box in Florida but it has everything that came with it. I did open the laptop when I first bought it to install a 2nd NVME drive, I since removed it to use in my desktop. Purchased new for $2742 8/22
asking $1700 shipped with insurance, would prefer to deal locally in Texas 75028 area
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The French economist Thomas Piketty once wrote:

Every human society must justify its inequalities: unless reasons for them are found, the whole political and social edifice stands in danger of collapse. Every epoch therefore develops a range of contradictory discourses and ideologies for the purpose of legitimizing the inequality that already exists or that people be­lieve should exist. From these discourses emerge certain economic, social, and political rules, which people then use to make sense of the ambient social struc­ture. Out of the clash of contradictory discourses—a clash that is at once eco­nomic, social, and political—comes a dominant narrative or narratives, which bolster the existing inequality regime.

Property is the core justification for the poverty, hierarchy, and inequality inherent to capitalism. Why can't an unhoused person sleep in an empty home? The landlord owns it. Why can't a hungry person take food from a store? The store owns it. The opposition takes a cold-not-cruel stance, with Murray Rothbard declaring that:

if a man aggresses against another's person or property to save his own life, he may or may not be acting morally in so doing. [. . .] Regardless of whether his action is moral or immoral, by any criterion, he is still a criminal aggressor against the property of another, and the victim is within his right to repel that aggression by force, and to prosecute the aggressor afterward for his crime

These responses are based on the presumption that property is derived from a just code of ethics. In this post, I challenge this presumption and critically examine the philosophical foundations of the properietary world we live in. I start by defining the natural rights framework of property, then I explain why admixture doesn't work, then I explain the historical implications of admixture, and finally I explain why an individualist approach to property doesn't make sense.

The Admixture Theory, Explanation With Quotes

Contemporary property is mainly justified using the admixture theory. As the argument goes, individuals own themselves, therefore they own their labor, therefore they own whatever they mix their labor with. On the acquisition of property, John Locke, the father of liberalism, wrote:

The labour of his body, and the work of his hands, we may say, are properly his. Whatsoever then he removes out of the state that nature hath provided, and left it in, he hath mixed his labour with, and joined to it something that is his own, and thereby makes it his property.

Propertarians (known as "libertarians" in America) make a similar argument, although it supposes the Earth as unowned by default, instead of Locke who supposed the Earth to be the common inheritance of everybody. This nuance is why liberals believe that property should be subject to the well-being of others, and propertarians believe that property should be absolute. In an article describing Rothbard's views, David Gordon wrote:

Once one accepts self-ownership the justification for private property soon follows. Each person owns his own labor. Does he not have a right, then, to what he produces by means of that labor? To deny this is to revert once more to slavery; it is to say that other people have the right to control your labor.

Amixture can therefore be summed up as: "an ethical theory which supposes that labor legitimizes property claims." In particular, I'll be evaluating the argument that (a) individuals have a property right in their own body, (b) therefore individuals have a property right in their own labor, and (c) therefore they have a property right in whatever they mix their labor with.

Mixing Labor

There are two issues with mixing labor: a) labor can't be owned, and b) labor can't be mixed with the material world.
Lysander Spooner describes property as:

a right of absolute dominion over a commodity, whether the owner wish to retain it in his own actual possession and use, or not.

Whoever has just control over an object is its proprietor, and others must respect the authority of the proprietor and only interact with the object or space on the proprietor's terms. This relationship doesn't make sense when applied to concepts beyond the material world.
Labor is not an object. It is not a space that can be occupied. It is an action. It doesn't make sense for an action to have an owner. A surgeon doesn't own the operations they perform. A baseball player doesn't own the swings they hit. A traveler doesn't own the kilometers they walked.
In order for a thing to be owned, the proprietor must be able to exclude others from it. Others must be able to interact with it. Nobody can interact with an action. They can only interact with the thing that performs the action. Therefore, individuals may own themselves, but the actions they perform cannot be owned.
As a corollary, actions cannot be mixed with the material world. Substances can be mixed. Actions aren't substances. In reality, "mixing labor" is simply a metaphor for "doing work." That is, changing the material world.
Property theorists supposed that, by combining something owned with something unowned, the unowned thing becomes owned. Since labor cannot be owned or mixed with the material world, this justification is no longer valid, since the individual never mixed something that is theirs with an unowned object. Therefore just appropriation according to this framework cannot occur.

The Arbitrary Nature Of Admixture

Property is arbitrary. This is not necessarily something we need (or are able to) correct. However, those who claim to have a universal solution to property need to face this fact.
Consider self-ownership. Living things are not static. We constantly ingest, inhale, exhale, and shed. All atoms that make up a person are bound to change. If these atoms that make up a person were once owned, and the owner hasn't consented to relinquishing ownership, then does a maid aggress against the property of somebody when they vacuum hair off a carpet or dust their skin cells from a counter? You might claim that the owner implicitly relinquished ownership. That's fine, but how does that work? By what rules do owners implicitly relinquish their property?
If a mosquito sucks my blood without consent, then sucks the blood of somebody else and in the process transfers some of my blood to them, do I still own that part of my body? Can I ask that person to return my blood to me? Maybe ownership only counts for atoms that I actively use or possess. In that case, why doesn't property beyond my body work the same way?
If I justly own a bucket of water and its contents evaporate and disperse into the atmosphere, do I own the atmosphere? After all, I mixed something owned (water) with something unowned (the atmosphere). Maybe I didn't mix enough of what I own with the atmosphere. In that case, how much of what I own do I need to mix with something that is unowned for me to appropriate it?
Let's examine land. If I plow a field, how much do I actually own? Do I own the atoms that my plow touches? How far down is the soil mine? Can somebody homestead just a few centimeters away from my farm in an area that I haven't touched?
With some thought, a believer in admixture could answer these questions. But would those answers be objective? If even one question here doesn't have an objective answer, then admixture itself is arbitrary, and that's okay. However, this means that any ethical framework built on admixture can't assert itself as the one truly ethical way to govern society throughout all space and time.

Admixture Is An Appeal To Desert

Admixture is an appeal to desert. It's justified through an emotional appeal that someone deserves their property (which is not necessarily bad, just arbitrary). Usually propertarians take an example that everybody can agree on, like an artist owning a sculpture they create. Murray Rothbard wrote:

put baldly, there are very few who would not concede the monstrous injustice of confiscating the sculptor's property

This very personal version of property that barely effects other people is then used as a foundation to justify other property that have led to conquest, consolidation, and tyranny.
Some anti-propertarians might say that the artist is justified in keeping the sculpture not because they mixed their labor with it, but because they're using it personally and not harming anyone else.

The Historical Implications Admixture

Frederick Engels wrote:

Every change in the social order, every revolution in property relations, is the necessary consequence of the creation of new forces of production which no longer fit into the old property relations.
Private property has not always existed.
When, towards the end of the Middle Ages, there arose a new mode of production which could not be carried on under the then existing feudal and guild forms of property, this manufacture, which had outgrown the old property relations, created a new property form, private property. And for manufacture and the earliest stage of development of big industry, private property was the only possible property form; the social order based on it was the only possible social order.

The admixture theory fails to understand property within the context of history as a relation that changes with the development of society, instead asserting itself as a universal moral truth to be applied throughout all of time. The admixture theory has not been a universal truth, or a truth at all for that matter, until the rise of liberalism during the enlightenment. Feudal property, the divine right of kings, slavery, and corporate systems of property all existed before (and even coexisted with) liberalism.
Not to mention war, conquest, and in particular, theft of the commons, where farmland was forcefully seized from peasants and placed into the hands of the property owning class where it was subsequently passed on from generation to generation, setting the precedent of concentrated power for centuries to come. This process was called "primitive accumulation," and it's the reason why Karl Marx criticized property as "idyllic" when in the first volume when he wrote:

as soon as the question of property crops up, it becomes a sacred duty to proclaim the intellectual food of the infant as the one thing fit for all ages and for all stages of development. In actual history it is notorious that conquest, enslavement, robbery, murder, briefly force, play the great part. In the tender annals of Political Economy, the idyllic reigns from time immemorial. Right and “labour” were from all time the sole means of enrichment, the present year of course always excepted. As a matter of fact, the methods of primitive accumulation are anything but idyllic.

The amixture theory is literally incapable of processing and correcting theft on such a massive scale that has occurred since time immemorial. How do you correct ancient robbery such as that of the commons? To ignore the claims of ancient people is to ignore the self-ownership of millions, yet there's no clean way to correct the mess of illegitimate property we now find ourselves in. During my research, I did find an answer to this question. Murray Rothbard wrote:

In this case of what we might call "feudalism" or "land monopoly," the feudal or monopolist landlords have no legitimate claim to the property. The current "tenants," or peasants, should be the absolute owners of their property, and, as in the case of slavery, the land titles should be transferred to the peasants, without compensation to the monopoly landlords.

There are two issues with this solution. Firstly, any chance for a legitimate voluntary trade (or any record of such a trade) while the land was illegitimately occupied has been long lost to history. We have no record or way of knowing who the legitimate proprietor of any land is that has been seized in the past during primitive accumulation. Secondly, the theft extends beyond just the land. If wealth was generated based on an illegitimate property claim, it then follows that the wealth is illegitimate too, therefore it must be returned to the people who it was stolen from, who are long dead with countless unknown decedents.
In reality, fixing the mess of illegitimate property we have on our hands will never happen, for both a lack of records and a lack of practicality. The answer to all of this is simple: abandon a conception of property based on divine metaphysical connections to the owner, and instead view property as a relation that changes with the development of society.

The Material World Is Inescapably Collectivist

An individualist approach to property doesn't account for the fact that the universe is used collectively. What one individual does with their property can effect the life and liberty of another. Murray Rothbard tried to address this in the Libertarian Manifesto, but it ended up blowing the whole idea of property out of the water:

in the case of air pollution we are dealing not so much with private property in the air as with protecting private property in one’s lungs, fields, and orchards. The vital fact about air pollution is that the polluter sends unwanted and unbidden pollutants—from smoke to nuclear radiation to sulfur oxides—through the air and into the lungs of innocent victims, as well as onto their material property. All such emanations which injure person or property constitute aggression against the private property of the victims. Air pollution, after all, is just as much aggression as committing arson against another’s property or injuring him physically

Rothbard did not expand on the implications of this afterward, because if he did, the idea of property would unravel. This implies that actions that harm others are illegitimate uses of property. This includes methane from cattle, carbon dioxide from power plants, tire particles from cars, lithium from batteries, over-fishing, over-hunting, excessive noise, and the list goes on. All these have been demonstrated to harm people beyond the property, in some cases even around the globe.
This pales in comparison to the biggest effect of acquiring property; that it takes others' liberty. Before private acquisition, others' were free to walk upon and enjoy the land, after acquisition, they're not. Robert Nozick wrote:

It will be implausible to view improving an object as giving full ownership to it, if the stock of unowned objects that might be improved is limited. For an object’s coming under one person’s ownership changes the situation of all others. Whereas previous they were at liberty (in Hohfeld’s sense) to use the object, they now no longer are.

This doesn't mean that restricting public access is bad in all cases. All this demonstrates the need for a more democratic model of property; because the effects of property are collectivist, whether we like that or not.

Conclusion

The point of this post isn't that property is bad or that all property should belong to a collectivist hivemind. It's that the natural rights approach is just a story that we tell ourselves. When we consider the actual nature of matter history and matter, we realize that mixing labor doesn't actually exist.
Whatever form of property should replace admixture is beyond the scope of this post. But we need to understand that property has always been a relationship that changes with the development of society. Claiming that there's only one true way that property can exist is nonsense.

I live in an apartment in a two story building. Last night while I'm trying to sleep after days of sleep deprivation, my neighbor's children whose apartment's right above me were running around and jumping up and down really really hard causing lots of noises for a really long time that were capable of making a sane person go crazy.
I got out of the bed, opened my window and yelled randomly saying "Stop the jumping you're causing a lot of noises."
I hate that I did that, and I'm cringing really hard typing this. But my neighbor opened his window and started very unapologetically confronting me, saying: "What's the matter, why are you yelling? Those are my children playing, what do you want me to tie them up?"
Knowing that I'm probably dealing with a crazy person, I very calmly replied: "Obviously don't do that, but the amount of noises in my house caused by your children playing is ridiculous, that's probably why I yelled."
Then he went on a rant talking about how many people lived in my apartment before me and no one ever complained about them, and if they did, they very calmly knocked on their door and asked them to be quiet instead of yelling it out the window. Mind you, that's BS, they cause a lot of noises all the time and I've never complained about it thinking that it's okay because sometimes I have my friends over and I think we could be a little bit loud sometimes (never had any complaints tho). But that one time was just insane, I felt like the military was having a training above me.
I hate having beef with a neighbor, and I generally hate it whenever I snap on anything. So I'm thinking of apologizing hoping that it becomes water under the bridge. But I don't know if that's the right thing to do. What do you think?
P.s: Calling the police for these types of issues isn't really an option in my country, and I don't know if I want to be the neighbor who calls the police, I just want to calm the situation down not the opposite.

Allow me to give some context. I come from a very Catholic family on my mom’s side. She was a live in nanny for my aunt (her sister) after she had triplets. My aunt and uncle lived right next to another couple with kids who asked if she could watch them too. My aunt and uncle were close friends with this neighbor family. After a couple years, my aunt got my mom an apartment so she could treat it like a job and have a life or whatever. She didn’t even make it a year before getting knocked up, which she tried to hide, but my aunt demanded she go to the doctors bc if she wasn’t pregnant, then something is really wrong. Well. She was pregnant. 7 months pregnant… and my aunt asked who? My mom wouldn’t say. So my aunt took her apartment privileges away. My mom has some cognitive issues but she can drive and hold down a job, she just really acts like a child when in distress and was a little slower in school. So she threw a tantrum and wouldn’t tell my aunt. They pack her apartment and find journals, like the ones you make in middle school that’s like “John loves doe,” “Mr and Mrs. Johndoe,” “John and doe forever.” And they realized, it’s their neighbor. He cheated on his wife and fucked the nanny. So my dad picks up and moves his family away and my family agreed to not tell his wife so long as he paid child support. This pregnancy was a big deal since Catholics and premarital s3x don’t mix. My mom was a disappointment. My grandparents made her move in with them bc my mom was going to give me away. We live with them for a couple years. She saves up my child support and with help from my grandparents, buys a house when I’m 4. On her own again (with financial help). THEN doesn’t even make it two years, gets knocked up by her coworker. Jesus H Christ, woman. BIRTH CONTROL. Nope. Now she’s pregnant with twins. Bc I’m the only [email protected]@rd child, she asks him to marry her and he moves in officially. They get married AND have the twins on the same day… cutting it a little close, yeah? Fine. I was so excited to not be an only child and what 7 year old doesn’t want siblings. A couple months roll around and my, now, stepdad is acting super weird. He tells me, an 8 year old, that my mom got fat after having the twins and doesn’t satisfy his needs anymore. Okay I have no idea what that means. He starts [email protected] @[email protected] me. I tell my mom after the very first time. “What the fuck do you want me to do about it? Can you just for once not ruin something good in my life?” Okay ouch. Keep living. It keeps getting worse. I tell her again. “Okay? Seriously shut your fucking mouth.” This goes on for years. At 10/11, I stopped brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, I’m gross. I’m eating raw garlic, dipping onions in mustard, drinking pickle juice, whatever passive defense I could, bc resisting would get me beat. But it still never worked. At 12, I try to kill myself and breakdown crying “I don’t deserve to be alive, I should be in military school, I don’t deserve to be happy.” My aunt, reasonably concerned, asks why I think that. I can’t say bc I know it’s bad and I feel gross. But I break and tell her. My mom giving me the signal to shut up, gets caught by my aunt. She says “it’s not that big of a deal.” My aunt, mad, but still protective of her mentally slow sister, tells her to call the police and what to say to avoid getting charged with child negligence and endangerment. He has to live with his mom. No worries for my mom though. She just packs my brothers up and stays with him for days at a time, leaving me at home, no phone, no food, not even internet. I beg my family to take me, they say my mom said she’s not seeing him and I don’t need to lie about these things. They say I need to help my mom. I NEEDED HELP. They all said I was lying. I graduated high school 7 years ago, moved to college, and continued my NC with my mom that started when she kicked me out at 15. I love my brothers dearly and maintained a relationship through text but didn’t visit them. I talked to my aunt and uncle even though they let me suffer. I wanted someone to love me. Especially after my grandparents passed. My mom continued to see him in secret. I said the second my brothers go to college, they will be back together in my fucking house. It was so obvious. My family is just stupid bc they’d suggest she get a divorce and she said no every time. But I was right. He put his mom in a nursing home and sold her house and is living rent free in the house he ruined my life in. Here’s the problem. I love my brothers. And they love me. But they also love their dad. School is over and they’re back home living with him. They talk quietly when I call them, like they don’t want him to hear they talk to me. Like they’re embarrassed of ME. I keep thinking at their wedding, who are they going to want there? Their dad and mom? Or me? I know they love me, but I already know the answer. Shit just hurts. My dad wanted nothing to do with me and died before I could meet him. My mom chose a shithead over me. I finally got a father figure and he was a nightmare. I can’t lose my brothers too. I hate this fucking wedge. What can I even do? Sorry for the length.

33m (UK), never been a big "club" / "bar" person and most of my friends dont go out anymore anyway. I work a lot with my own business which has taken off in a major way to the point im looking at retirement by 35. All I really get up to is work, training to compete in powerlifting (lightweight, dont think big fat boy here) and chilling because I'm wiped out. I can make time to meet people, but I dont "organically" meet women as my industry and my gym is pretty male dominated. This has been me for 4/5 years now.
Basically I did everything I thought as a kid will get you laid, get shredded, be successful, drive a supercar etc. TLDR: it doesnt.
Anyway, so I'm left with dating apps...In my mid 20's I did great on tinder, dates every weekend. I took a break for a good few years and came back and man has the story changed...I use a boost and I get 20-30 of the largest women I have ever seen liking me. Bumble is the same except less likes/matches and they never say anything to kick it off. Hinge, im banned from, I think because I said I wasnt attracted to "plus sized" people as one of my question answers about what I look for.
It's been like this for a couple years now, just nothing without paid boosts, 1/2 likes/matches a week, most of them never reply to a single message. I thought maybe my pics are bad, so did that whole "photofeeler" picture rating website and generally get 8-9/10 on every picture.
Occasionally I'll get a couple of really attractive girls in their early 20's that match just to ask for a ride in my car, but they're obviously just after money/attention/sugar daddy stuff.
Honestly, I feel like im starting to turn into an incel (of course I could lower my standards and hook up with a "curvy" girl but cmon)...year after year of this same story repeating is absolutely crushing how I feel about myself but I dont see what options I have? I drove back through town Saturday night after seeing a friend and seeing everyone out at the clubs, all the good looking women out, I really felt like an alien, so detached from their reality that I don't even know what I would talk to them about.
I don't really know where I'm going with this, but I guess I just needed to vent somewhere. I think its one of those "is what it is" situations where theres no solution and you just deal with it until you launch yourself off your balcony after half a bottle of whisky one day.

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So I just finished a legacy and was at the pool screen. I sent 3 faves to the pool, eliminated a couple others and then hit continue community with only two survivors, my leader and one follower.
I had left a couple items on the follower that I tried to snag with my leader before I finished the legacy but the Sheriff’s enemy died too fast. No big deal I thought, I’ll just continue and get the items and send my leader to legacy, etc.
Well, when I continued, the leader and follower were there on the new map, but so were the three others I had stuck in the legacy pool moments before. It very clearly showed them in the pool and had the “new” tag on them before I hit Continue.
OK weird, but I then sent each one to legacy one at a time, from this new map finishing with my leader and then let that final follower just die to end the community.
Back to start screen and I checked the legacy pool… and I have two of each of those three survivors I had sent into the pool (once during the ending / continue screen and once when they showed back up in the continued community on the new map).
Yay, I guess? I’m afraid to delete the extras now because it might kill the duplicates.
Anyone did this before?

I (28F) and am currently married my husband (29M), we have been together for 4 years. He is only my third relationship I’ve ever had. I was with an abusive guy from the time I was a young teen to into my early 20s (about 5 years), and we unfortunately were married some of that time. He was severely abusive in several ways. I got out of that marriage thankfully and basically got into another relationship before the year was out with a guy I met. We stayed together for over 3 years and I realized over time he was very toxic and emotionally manipulative and I was miserable. I finally broke things off, and that’s when I got with my current husband.
At first things were great and I was convinced he was the love of my life, I was head over heels for him because finally someone was treating me nicely and giving me time and attention and care. He was so sweet. We got married and eventually I got pregnant and we had our first child. Things got weird before I got pregnant, but even worse after I got pregnant and had our daughter. Basically, without giving a long drawn out story, he seemed much snappier with me and seemed to have less patience. I’m overstimulated and overwhelmed easily, especially when I was pregnant and off of my meds. And he just seemed to have far less patience with me regarding that stuff. Eventually, I basically told myself to stop opening up and feeling things so I didn’t have to deal with things like that. I’ve told him before how I felt about some of those things, but it didn’t seem to change much.
Now, suddenly my friend tells me that during the times he has been around my husband, my husband has said some kind of mean things about me behind my back. This friend says my husband is basically a different person when I’m not there. This has really freaked me out and it also made me realize again how much I don’t like the way his reactions to my emotions make me feel.
All this backstory is to lead to my questions. First of all, in all three of my relationships, eventually I feel like I don’t love or sometimes even like them anymore. I’ve always assumed this was my fault and there is something wrong with me. I’ve had horrible emotional numbness after being traumatized by my first boyfriend and developing PTSD. So I thought maybe that was making me feel that way. Or I figured everyone falls out of love with their partners after a while and I need to just deal with it because I have the best I would ever get. So first question, do relationships eventually reach a point where you feel numb to your partner and like you have to put on an act to show you love them? Like if they left you suddenly you wouldn’t mind? This is happened in all three of my relationships but I just don’t know if it’s a me problem or it’s because they’ve been toxic? I know it’s typical for feelings to fade and whatnot over time but I’m talking like fully numb.
Second question, I have no idea what to do moving forward. I’ve spoken up again about the issues I have with my husband being cold to me when I’m having a breakdown, and the conversation didn’t go the way I hoped it would have. I just don’t know what to do if he keeps doing what he’s doing. I’m trying to get into therapy and he is saying he will finally do therapy now too, so hopefully he actually does. But we have a daughter and this isn’t my first marriage and so I feel like I definitely cannot leave him because it wouldn’t be fair. Any thoughts and opinions on this are so appreciated!!!

Just trying to spread some encouragement. I know a lot of people cant ever imagine living without getting high or drunk ever again. It leaves a huge void and you can't stand to be in your own skin. But there is a way out, I promise. If it wasn't real I'd still be using. Heroin/fentanyl took nearly a decade of my life, and by the end I was a miserable, wretched, shell of my former self. Death seemed like the only option and on a few occasions I tried to arrange that myself. The drugs stopped working for me to numb my mind and I was faced with the immense weight of the carnage I'd caused whether I used or not. All I could do was hit the reset clock and begin another 4 hour countdown to crippling withdrawal. It took me 4 stints in rehab, which is below the average number of stays it takes to finally succeed. Today I have almost 3.5 years sober and there are entire days that go by without once thinking about substances of any kind. But that isn't what I came here to say.
I mentioned that void left behind when you attempt to recover. There is one thing I found that sufficiently fills it in the long run. Somewhere in the middle of my active addiction I was using with my (now ex) girlfriend and living in her house with her mother, younger sister, 3 year old daughter, and 9 year old half brother. These people have been devastated by proximity to addiction years before I came along. My girlfriend lost her oldest sister 2 years before we got together to an overdose and their lives were shattered. Poor as dirt, no car, house in shambles, on the verge of losing the kids, the whole gambit.
During one of our better weeks, my girlfriend and I had scrapped together $60 to buy her half brother a video game he really wanted. It was going to be the poor kids only birthday present. We put the money in an envelope and gave it to him a few days before. Told him when the day comes, we'd take him down to gamestop to buy it for him. He was beside himself with joy, didn't think he was going to be able to get anything. Well, the night before his birthday the envelope went missing, and the whole household just KNEW we'd stolen it (we truly didnt). Looking back now I do not blame them. Her brother broke down and sobbed for hours only to take a few breaks to tell us how we were horrible junkies. Well of course in that state of mind I didnt take that well. "They wanna accuse me, I'LL show them.. (you all know)"
Anyway the next morning on his birthday my girlfriend went to work. I was home as I was out of a job due to getting sacked when the boss found out I OD'ed the other week. You know how I said the house was in shambles? I mean that in most of the rooms, you cannot see the bare floor. Papers, plates, wrappers, clothes.. etc all over the place. I was sitting in the living room, dopesick as fuck. I hadn't used since yesterday evening and my girl demanded to take my wake up since she was working. I look down over the side of the couch, and there was the envelope apparently dropped and lost to the rubble. Still sealed with all the money inside. No one knew, they all thought it was gone for good. Of course to my inner addict this was a no brainer. Get well first and foremost, time for feelings later, maybe.
But then I began thinking about her brother. And about my own childhood. I came from a loving, well off family. An only child, I usually got anything I wanted. Although I could still here her brother's cries inside my head I have to admit that my decision to give him back the envelope was not of selfless, pure intention. I did it out of a sense of angry guilt, having the fucked up nerve to blame HIM for ruining my high that day.
When I handed him the envelope, something happened to me. Something that I never expected that caught me way off guard. The light returned to this poor kid's face followed by a smile that felt like it belonged in some sort of Christmas miracle movie. He started crying again, but unlike last night they were tears of joy. He ran around to show everyone in the house with the envelope in one hand and his coat in the other. It reminded me a little bit of when Charlie Bucket found his golden ticket.
All of a sudden, for a good while, I couldn't feel my withdrawal symptoms anymore. In fact, I got this wave of a euphoric like sensation all throughout my body followed by a fuzzy warm feeling. I felt like I belonged in this world. I felt connected to and accepted by other people. I felt like everything was gonna be ok, as if a huge boulder was lifted off my back. Where had I experienced this feeling before? Oh yeah, from the drugs I spent nearly every ounce of energy and resource obtaining!
When you feel that void come on during your recovery, try helping someone else. This is why they tell you to put yourself in service. You literally get high from it! It does not matter how you approach this. There is no one specific program that has a monopoly on helping your fellow human being. And don't expect this to fix everything right off the bat. Early recovery is still going to be rough, but over time with work and guidance, you can train your body and mind to prefer this natural high over an artificial one. It worked for me, and every single person I've met who has a great deal of time features service when telling their story. Don't give up! Addicts who remain clean in both body and mind are destined to be a positive driving force in this world, and to reap the bountiful rewards of happiness and serenity that inherently come with it. As long as you have a beating heart and you're conscious, it is not too late. Even if you've failed 1,000 times and cannot possibly see any hope, it exists.

My aunt works at Home Depot and she said she’d help me get a job. I’ve worked 5 years in retail and 2 years in an office. I was initially interested in kitchen designer but it seems most people here say it’s one of the worst jobs to have here. I used to work at Best Buy for a couple years so I’m not unfamiliar with sales goals, dealing with Karen customers on expensive stuff. I guess I’m just asking for you two cents, I regularly see a lot o negative comments about working here but my last job had 0 benefits, no PTO, hard to take sick days because it was a small office, no room for advancement or yearly reviews. Not necessarily looking to stay here long term but it would be nice to have insurance, PTO, take advantage of going school maybe etc.

Okay so I wasn’t in the right state of mind when we were together. My best friend passed away and I wasn’t able to get over that and I have family issues that has haunted me since I was young. Those two issues were the reason I would drink so much whenever we were together to the point of the occasional blackouts. Whenever those blackouts would happen I don’t have any control of the type of person I can become. I can either be really nice and affectionate towards her or I can be mean and aggressive (when I didn’t have intentions of doing)
It got to be too much to her and one night I was hurting myself crying and slamming my head against the wall. I can’t blame her for leaving me I was a mess and that night is my biggest regret. I wish that never happened and it really scared her. She tried making it work but that only lasted a month longer I feel like she listened too much to her best friend telling her I’m bad news. I mean her friend only cares so I can understand her frustration. So my ex started being cold towards me and anytime I suggested we should hangout she would find a way to turn it down. We eventually stopped talking altogether I sent her an apology text back in the end of January and she responded saying it was sweet and thoughtful. The conversation didn’t lead to anything bc she stopped replying at some point. Was in NC up until March when I texted her late at night apologizing again and saying nothing can replace her. No response to that one at all. So I left her alone and in the end of April she DM me on Instagram at 2AM in response to a story I posted she thought it was funny and said “You’re stupid lol”
I feel like she has to miss me if she went through the trouble and time to send me that so late. I want something more from her to know if she really misses me and wants me back. I honestly have been working on myself and improving my goals and my emotions towards the loss im dealing with.

grieving the relationship in your head hurts so bad. may has been the hardest month for a whole basket of reasons but the one that hurts the most is something i’m stuck dealing with alone.
had a trip planned to spend a week with my best friend at the start of it. it’s been on the calendar for months and was the first time we’d actually get undivided time together as we live states apart and any time we’ve traveled to each other before it’s been more of a go-go-go situation. so i’ve been mulling it over for months and was finally going to tell her that i had feelings for her and basically just open the conversation to talking about us and how we communicate and how it’s felt for a long time that we’ve been teetering on the edge of platonic love and just entirely too much love for me to even fathom. i think she’s the best, she’s told me the same. the feelings have always felt mutual. the only thing that was in the way was the physical barrier of not being close to each other. we both openly identify as bisexual.
ANYWAY, i get in her car when she picks me up from the airport and i’m just so excited to be with her and the first conversation we end up having on the drive home is about how the weekend prior she reconnected with an old friend and they slept together, which in turn ignited some feelings and they’ve decided to start seeing each other.
now. i love my best friend and knowing everything i do about her all i want is for her to be happy and in a relationship that not only feels good but feels trusting to her. i gathered from that one conversation how happy she felt about it. and that was enough to stifle my thoughts. so i spent the week with her and ‘tried’ not to cry myself to sleep every night next to her because we talk about everything her and i and i felt just so blindsided by this. i didn’t see it coming for miles and the thing is i don’t think she did either.
so i kept my feelings to myself. and it broke my heart to do so because for the past year it’s felt like her and i were basically dating or communicating at the level where we were person number one to each other and now it just feels so different so quickly. i felt it there next to her, she spent so much of our time together texting him. and i get it, she was in the early stages of feelings for him, it made sense they wanted to talk nonstop. i can understand that and of course there’s a huge part of me that can put aside how i feel and be happy she’s happy.
however!!! all this happened the week before our vacation together. and now all i can do it sit here and be sad about the timing of it all. this guy didn’t exist in her life in this capacity a month ago. had my trip been a week earlier everything would have been different. that kills me. and i don’t even mean different in the sense that i would have gotten to bring up my feelings but just in the sense that this new relationship took up so much space in our short week together i feel so gypped out of time with my friend.
i’ve been unable to shake this upsetting feeling for the rest of the month. living far apart it’s already hard for us to make time for each other, and i’ve grown so used to and dependent in a sense of having her around and wanting to spend time together weekly. that hasn’t happened since i left her. we communicate less already and i knew we would as she’s got someone else at the top of her mind now. and i knew this would happen. i grieved it while i was next to her it’s just that it feels so drastic and i’m trying to stay occupied and put my energy elsewhere and i’m doing okay i’m just so hurt still. and it’s not that i’m mad at her, it makes sense and it’s natural it just happened so fast in such a way it feels like we’re not even the same friends anymore.
i really thought i’d be coming home with a girlfriend and instead i came home and i barely even have my best friend to talk to. life is crazy how it flips on you like that when you’re least expecting it. my intuition was screaming at me that she felt the same and i’m trying not to wonder about the time of it all and if i missed my shot or if this happened so i wouldn’t embarrass myself bringing feelings in the mix.
anyway if you read this, you’re a hero. i just needed to vent about it. i don’t want to burst her bubble by bringing anything up and it’s too new for me to even be mad that we talk less. i’m happy for her but i’m also so sad at the same time. i was really proud of myself for finally feeling like i was in the place to talk to her about us and to have had this stop me dead in my tracks and unfold in such an opposite way really dented my emotions.

i just need somewhere to vent and maybe somebody understands. i have no contact with my parents, grew up surrounded by emotional abuse, witnessed physical abuse between parents and siblings, lots of alcohol abuse and drug abuse. i cannot stand my parents, i very often wish they were dead because of all the hurt they have caused me. unfortunately, i am starting to recognize i am starting to hate my boyfriends parents without reason. i think it’s a combination of disliking parental figures and jealousy that he has a good relationship with them. when he mentions that he’s about to call his parents on the phone, i feel like i need to immediately leave the room because it angers me. i can’t stand to listen to their conversations. i hate when his parents give him advice, it genuinely makes me upset. i can recognize that this isn’t normal, and i know they haven’t done anything to me to cause me to feel this way. but i absolutely can’t get over the feeling that I hate them. apart of me wishes he had no family like me so i wouldn’t have to deal with anybody else but him. please give advice or tell me if you feel like this lol

Hey guys, was wondering if anyone on here has had a similar experience and found a solution or is mechanically inclined.
I have a 2021 wrx premium MT. Symptoms:
When pressing ignition button accessories don't turn off. Sometimes the engine doesn't shut down either.
Burnt fuses (not just one fuse or circuit like all of them)- can't visibly see any damaged wires

• Also jjust had dealership replace 6 wiring harnesses after bestbuy asshole spliced a bunch of wires. That incident also voided my warranty and money is really tight so towing it to a shop to let them deal with it is not an option.

Battery drain
High idle
My thoughts are starter motor or alternator but those are just my best guesses based on what I've read on the Google.

Hi all, really frustrated with dealing with this for months and I don't know where else to turn to. On my Pixel 7 I have a green tint affecting my phone, very noticeable when there's a white screen on my display, or if I'm on full brightness.
This "tint" or "filter" or whatever it is just randomly flickers on and off throughout the day and I'm fed up.
I found that if I swipe really fast on the right side of my screen and hold down after the last swipe, it will go away for a few seconds before coming back on, not sure if this means anything.
Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated, not very experienced in tech and software and such so please bear with me in the comments haha, thanks all.

Not gonna add a lot of context about my dad...you all know the deal lol
I (21M) left my parents house exactly two weeks ago. My dad has called or texted me every single day. Not necessarily harassing me or anything, but just telling me he wants to see me again, to stay over for one night at his house, blah blah blah. I already went back once and I hated every second of it. Im paying my own rent because I wanted SPACE, not to continously go back to that shithole every few days.
I literally have plans to change cities in like 3 months lol. What's gonna happen then? I feel super guilty already, he tells me he misses me a lot. He's older (in his 60s) and i sometimes worry that it could affect his health, being sad all the time. But it's not like hes lonely, he lives with my brother (whose almost 30), and he has a shit ton of friends. I cant deal with him constantly nagging me. Can i get some advice on this?
Like i said im not gonna give a lot of context behind this, just know he's an awful person, physically and verbally abusive. I literally know people who have good relationships with their (great) parents, who left to be on their own just because they wanted to be independent, and even THEY dont visit their parents as much as he wants me to visit him.
He doesn't get boundaries. I'd have so much respect for him if he stfu for just a month. You had 21 years with me and it was hell for the most part. Ive been gone two weeks and you wont allow me to have some space. Idgaf if he misses me or anything...don't care. Like i said, i was around for 21 years, i need a break. Why is it always his wants and needs over everyone else's?