Gerd secondary to anxiety va disability

I had so much hope for the future and now I have to drop out of college and apply for disability benefits. I just have so much anxiety that I can't leave the house. Now I'm just going to therapy and spend the rest of my time at home alone/with my mom. I'm scared that the few friends I managed to get will leave me because they don't want to spend their time with a mess like me. It's not fair. Trauma sucks

Hey all, don't really post much on reddit but since I found the thing that helped me the most here I thought I would pay it forward. So after like 15+ years of chronic GERD and trying every supplement known to man (as well as prescribed medication) I have finally found something that works well for me. L-Glutamine!!! this stuff is a godsend at this point, been taking it for 2 months now and from the very first week is drastically improved my GERD and general stomach problems to the point where I was in disbelief. I can't say I am cured or anything as I can still sometimes get flares etc but it has literally changed my quality of life more then anything else I have ever taken. On the plus side I have also gained 10 pounds in 2 months because I am able to function like a normal human again and not always be worried about about everything I eat all the time.I am taking 10grams a day of unflavored l-glutamine powder that is pretty cheap on amazon.
Anyways I highly suggest anyone who has been living with chronic gerd or ibs like symptoms to just try it out for a week or two and see if it works for them. One thing to note is I would gradually incrase the dosage over timer up to 10 grams a day as I found if I overdid it too fast I would get a slight increase in anxiety but at this point I don't notice it as much.

Heyo~! 'u' I'm seeking some Action/Fighting, Adventure/Journey Pokemon RP. I also love comedy, drama, psychological, and fantasy in terms of genres. In terms of romance, I'm fine with it as a subplot. I like FxF ships, am very open to polyships, and am mostly interested in the emotional intimacy/affection. Cute, sweet, and wholesome.
Since I'm interested in both Trainers and Pokemon, I'm going to split those into two RP ideas.
​
Trainer Adventure
I'd be interested in playing my OC, Mallory, and perhaps some secondary canons or NPCs as part of the world. In terms of canons, my greatest interests are Leaf/Green, Dawn, Hilda, Rosa, Serena, Lillie, Iris, and Marnie. If anyone is willing to play one of them, please hit me up. That would make me very happy. I'm also open to OCs! But I do have a preference for the canons. And of course if there's a canon you really want to play, or want me to play, let me know that too!
Speaking of Leaf/Green, I was very entertained by her trying to catch the player in Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee, so if you want to play around with the idea of catching people, I'm down for that, whether it's just a gag or important to the plot.
My intention is to do Pasio style battling where trainers only usually use one of their pokemon in official battles. Mostly because 6v6 single pokemon battles don't translate well to writing. They take a super long time even by the standards of an action-lover like me. xD That's not to say you can't have more than one pokemon--just that one on one battles will be more common.
I will be more open to trainers with powers than normal. My standard for power scales I deem reasonable is that a trainer could potentially be strong enough to fight alongside their pokemon. So like, they could be strong enough to fight a pokemon, but like any other Pokemon might have a hard time going up against multiple pokemon.
Any region is fine~!
​
Mystery Dungeon Style Adventure
I'd be interested in playing any of the pokemon listed below, which are just ideas I've kept writing down as I continued RPing. I'm very much intending to play the adventuring schtick straight, with us starting off as either brand new or only mildly seasoned adventurers. We can come up with a more tailored plot if you'd like, but simple adventurer work is all I've got to start off with. I'd be open to being childhood friends, humans transformed into pokemon, one rescuing the other, or just a happy coincidence for why they wind up on an adventuring team.
--Characters--

• My snivy, named Rose, has an inferiority complex stemming from the fact that she doesn't have teeth. (This is normal for the species; she's just insecure about it) She is rather sassy, but has a good heart.
• My steenee, named Paula, is a sweetheart with gag strength. She minds her manners, is very affectionate/tactile, and likes to encourage and take care of others.
• My kirlia, named Mary, is an odd dork and wannabe magical girl. She's got a bit of fairy weirdness going on and is particular about her manners.
• My alcremie, named Peach, is a gentle coward by nature who is none-the-less chasing a dream of being a hero. She has a complicated relationship with her form. She takes pride in the idea that she looks delicious, but doesn't like the attention it gets her.
• My mawile, named Jasmine, is a fashionista and idol with dreams of being an idol admired the world around for her beauty and charm. She has the former down, but the latter's a bit of a challenge for her because she's very bratty/feisty, a bit socially awkward, and has a hangry streak that could give a morpeko pause. None-the-less, she developed a strong following with queepunk girls who find her sometimes aggressive and bratty demeanor empowering in an 'I'm not going to take it anymore' fashion.
• My braixen, named Witch, doesn't have an actual name because receiving your name is a coming of age thing for her. She is the subject of a great witch prophecy that she struggles with because she believes she can never live up to it.
• My jigglypuff/screamtail, named Alyssa, is a gluttonous makeup artist with who's rather sensitive and tends to take her anger out on others with gag strength and comically over the top attacks that belie her weak fortitude. She does her best imitation of Kirby when she uses the moves Mimic/Copycat by inhaling opponents to absorb steal their powers for her own use.
• My lopunny, named Olivia, is a temperamental angst machine who got adopted and raised by a lucario after her parents got food chained. She wants to be tough and stand up for herself. She wants to master aura. She wants to make her father proud. But she kinda struggles to live up to his image because, well... she's not a lucario. She is however a decent martial artist with at least a slight ability to use aura.
• My ditto, who doesn't have a name of their own. They strongly dislike their natural form and don't like being seen in it, compulsively pretending to be others because it makes them happy. Ditto usually tries to trick that person's friends so that Ditto can adopt their social life. Unlike the doppelgangers of mythology though, they are actually fairly benevolent and are usually just eager to be close to people. Though that doesn't stop others from being angry when they realize they've been tricked.
• My riolu/lucario, named Jessica, is a total brat who could live up to her father's standards, but doesn't because she takes her excellent innate abilities for granted and gets easily demotivated when it comes to actually training her abilities. Uncharacteristically social and giggly for her species, she lives to mess around and have fun. She is sometimes played as Olivia's adopted sister.
• My meowscarada, named Julia, is a Catwoman'esque and Robin Hood'esque thief who was forced to grow up before she was ready after she was orphaned and left to fend for herself. She now protects and feeds others like her, having a soft spot for the needy--especially kids. What might at first appear to be an odd maternal instinct is trauma and a desire to make things right by protecting others from what she went through. She can get quite ferocious if her charges are threatened or mistreated. Personality-wise she's sassy, clever, and tends to outsmart, charm, or simply evade her targets instead of using brute force to disable them.

I can play evolved/unevolved forms of some of these if you're interested. The evolutionary stages I chose were simply what I thought would be the best stage for their starting personalities. I'm also open to playing any of these characters as humans transformed into pokemon, as that doesn't really contradict any of their concepts so much as add another layer of depth and a different angle to it.

Heyo~! 'u' I'm seeking some Action/Fighting, Adventure/Journey Pokemon RP. I also love comedy, drama, psychological, and fantasy in terms of genres. In terms of romance, I'm fine with it as a subplot. I like FxF ships, am very open to polyships, and am mostly interested in the emotional intimacy/affection. Cute, sweet, and wholesome.
Since I'm interested in both Trainers and Pokemon, I'm going to split those into two RP ideas.
​
Trainer Adventure
I'd be interested in playing my OC, Mallory, and perhaps some secondary canons or NPCs as part of the world. In terms of canons, my greatest interests are Leaf/Green, Dawn, Hilda, Rosa, Serena, Lillie, Iris, and Marnie. If anyone is willing to play one of them, please hit me up. That would make me very happy. I'm also open to OCs! But I do have a preference for the canons. And of course if there's a canon you really want to play, or want me to play, let me know that too!
Speaking of Leaf/Green, I was very entertained by her trying to catch the player in Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee, so if you want to play around with the idea of catching people, I'm down for that, whether it's just a gag or important to the plot.
My intention is to do Pasio style battling where trainers only usually use one of their pokemon in official battles. Mostly because 6v6 single pokemon battles don't translate well to writing. They take a super long time even by the standards of an action-lover like me. xD That's not to say you can't have more than one pokemon--just that one on one battles will be more common.
I will be more open to trainers with powers than normal. My standard for power scales I deem reasonable is that a trainer could potentially be strong enough to fight alongside their pokemon. So like, they could be strong enough to fight a pokemon, but like any other Pokemon might have a hard time going up against multiple pokemon.
Any region is fine~!
​
Mystery Dungeon Style Adventure
I'd be interested in playing any of the pokemon listed below, which are just ideas I've kept writing down as I continued RPing. I'm very much intending to play the adventuring schtick straight, with us starting off as either brand new or only mildly seasoned adventurers. We can come up with a more tailored plot if you'd like, but simple adventurer work is all I've got to start off with. I'd be open to being childhood friends, humans transformed into pokemon, one rescuing the other, or just a happy coincidence for why they wind up on an adventuring team.
--Characters--

• My snivy, named Rose, has an inferiority complex stemming from the fact that she doesn't have teeth. (This is normal for the species; she's just insecure about it) She is rather sassy, but has a good heart.
• My steenee, named Paula, is a sweetheart with gag strength. She minds her manners, is very affectionate/tactile, and likes to encourage and take care of others.
• My kirlia, named Mary, is an odd dork and wannabe magical girl. She's got a bit of fairy weirdness going on and is particular about her manners.
• My alcremie, named Peach, is a gentle coward by nature who is none-the-less chasing a dream of being a hero. She has a complicated relationship with her form. She takes pride in the idea that she looks delicious, but doesn't like the attention it gets her.
• My mawile, named Jasmine, is a fashionista and idol with dreams of being an idol admired the world around for her beauty and charm. She has the former down, but the latter's a bit of a challenge for her because she's very bratty/feisty, a bit socially awkward, and has a hangry streak that could give a morpeko pause. None-the-less, she developed a strong following with queepunk girls who find her sometimes aggressive and bratty demeanor empowering in an 'I'm not going to take it anymore' fashion.
• My braixen, named Witch, doesn't have an actual name because receiving your name is a coming of age thing for her. She is the subject of a great witch prophecy that she struggles with because she believes she can never live up to it.
• My jigglypuff/screamtail, named Alyssa, is a gluttonous makeup artist with who's rather sensitive and tends to take her anger out on others with gag strength and comically over the top attacks that belie her weak fortitude. She does her best imitation of Kirby when she uses the moves Mimic/Copycat by inhaling opponents to absorb steal their powers for her own use.
• My lopunny, named Olivia, is a temperamental angst machine who got adopted and raised by a lucario after her parents got food chained. She wants to be tough and stand up for herself. She wants to master aura. She wants to make her father proud. But she kinda struggles to live up to his image because, well... she's not a lucario. She is however a decent martial artist with at least a slight ability to use aura.
• My ditto, who doesn't have a name of their own. They strongly dislike their natural form and don't like being seen in it, compulsively pretending to be others because it makes them happy. Ditto usually tries to trick that person's friends so that Ditto can adopt their social life. Unlike the doppelgangers of mythology though, they are actually fairly benevolent and are usually just eager to be close to people. Though that doesn't stop others from being angry when they realize they've been tricked.
• My riolu/lucario, named Jessica, is a total brat who could live up to her father's standards, but doesn't because she takes her excellent innate abilities for granted and gets easily demotivated when it comes to actually training her abilities. Uncharacteristically social and giggly for her species, she lives to mess around and have fun. She is sometimes played as Olivia's adopted sister.
• My meowscarada, named Julia, is a Catwoman'esque and Robin Hood'esque thief who was forced to grow up before she was ready after she was orphaned and left to fend for herself. She now protects and feeds others like her, having a soft spot for the needy--especially kids. What might at first appear to be an odd maternal instinct is trauma and a desire to make things right by protecting others from what she went through. She can get quite ferocious if her charges are threatened or mistreated. Personality-wise she's sassy, clever, and tends to outsmart, charm, or simply evade her targets instead of using brute force to disable them.

I can play evolved/unevolved forms of some of these if you're interested. The evolutionary stages I chose were simply what I thought would be the best stage for their starting personalities. I'm also open to playing any of these characters as humans transformed into pokemon, as that doesn't really contradict any of their concepts so much as add another layer of depth and a different angle to it.

Heyo~! 'u' I'm seeking some Action/Fighting, Adventure/Journey Pokemon RP. I also love comedy, drama, psychological, and fantasy in terms of genres. In terms of romance, I'm fine with it as a subplot. I like FxF ships, am very open to polyships, and am mostly interested in the emotional intimacy/affection. Cute, sweet, and wholesome.
Since I'm interested in both Trainers and Pokemon, I'm going to split those into two RP ideas.
​
Trainer Adventure
I'd be interested in playing my OC, Mallory, and perhaps some secondary canons or NPCs as part of the world. In terms of canons, my greatest interests are Leaf/Green, Dawn, Hilda, Rosa, Serena, Lillie, Iris, and Marnie. If anyone is willing to play one of them, please hit me up. That would make me very happy. I'm also open to OCs! But I do have a preference for the canons. And of course if there's a canon you really want to play, or want me to play, let me know that too!
Speaking of Leaf/Green, I was very entertained by her trying to catch the player in Let's Go Pikachu/Eevee, so if you want to play around with the idea of catching people, I'm down for that, whether it's just a gag or important to the plot.
My intention is to do Pasio style battling where trainers only usually use one of their pokemon in official battles. Mostly because 6v6 single pokemon battles don't translate well to writing. They take a super long time even by the standards of an action-lover like me. xD That's not to say you can't have more than one pokemon--just that one on one battles will be more common.
I will be more open to trainers with powers than normal. My standard for power scales I deem reasonable is that a trainer could potentially be strong enough to fight alongside their pokemon. So like, they could be strong enough to fight a pokemon, but like any other Pokemon might have a hard time going up against multiple pokemon.
Any region is fine~!
​
Mystery Dungeon Style Adventure
I'd be interested in playing any of the pokemon listed below, which are just ideas I've kept writing down as I continued RPing. I'm very much intending to play the adventuring schtick straight, with us starting off as either brand new or only mildly seasoned adventurers. We can come up with a more tailored plot if you'd like, but simple adventurer work is all I've got to start off with. I'd be open to being childhood friends, humans transformed into pokemon, one rescuing the other, or just a happy coincidence for why they wind up on an adventuring team.
--Characters--

• My snivy, named Rose, has an inferiority complex stemming from the fact that she doesn't have teeth. (This is normal for the species; she's just insecure about it) She is rather sassy, but has a good heart.
• My steenee, named Paula, is a sweetheart with gag strength. She minds her manners, is very affectionate/tactile, and likes to encourage and take care of others.
• My kirlia, named Mary, is an odd dork and wannabe magical girl. She's got a bit of fairy weirdness going on and is particular about her manners.
• My alcremie, named Peach, is a gentle coward by nature who is none-the-less chasing a dream of being a hero. She has a complicated relationship with her form. She takes pride in the idea that she looks delicious, but doesn't like the attention it gets her.
• My mawile, named Jasmine, is a fashionista and idol with dreams of being an idol admired the world around for her beauty and charm. She has the former down, but the latter's a bit of a challenge for her because she's very bratty/feisty, a bit socially awkward, and has a hangry streak that could give a morpeko pause. None-the-less, she developed a strong following with queepunk girls who find her sometimes aggressive and bratty demeanor empowering in an 'I'm not going to take it anymore' fashion.
• My braixen, named Witch, doesn't have an actual name because receiving your name is a coming of age thing for her. She is the subject of a great witch prophecy that she struggles with because she believes she can never live up to it.
• My jigglypuff/screamtail, named Alyssa, is a gluttonous makeup artist with who's rather sensitive and tends to take her anger out on others with gag strength and comically over the top attacks that belie her weak fortitude. She does her best imitation of Kirby when she uses the moves Mimic/Copycat by inhaling opponents to absorb steal their powers for her own use.
• My lopunny, named Olivia, is a temperamental angst machine who got adopted and raised by a lucario after her parents got food chained. She wants to be tough and stand up for herself. She wants to master aura. She wants to make her father proud. But she kinda struggles to live up to his image because, well... she's not a lucario. She is however a decent martial artist with at least a slight ability to use aura.
• My ditto, who doesn't have a name of their own. They strongly dislike their natural form and don't like being seen in it, compulsively pretending to be others because it makes them happy. Ditto usually tries to trick that person's friends so that Ditto can adopt their social life. Unlike the doppelgangers of mythology though, they are actually fairly benevolent and are usually just eager to be close to people. Though that doesn't stop others from being angry when they realize they've been tricked.
• My riolu/lucario, named Jessica, is a total brat who could live up to her father's standards, but doesn't because she takes her excellent innate abilities for granted and gets easily demotivated when it comes to actually training her abilities. Uncharacteristically social and giggly for her species, she lives to mess around and have fun. She is sometimes played as Olivia's adopted sister.
• My meowscarada, named Julia, is a Catwoman'esque and Robin Hood'esque thief who was forced to grow up before she was ready after she was orphaned and left to fend for herself. She now protects and feeds others like her, having a soft spot for the needy--especially kids. What might at first appear to be an odd maternal instinct is trauma and a desire to make things right by protecting others from what she went through. She can get quite ferocious if her charges are threatened or mistreated. Personality-wise she's sassy, clever, and tends to outsmart, charm, or simply evade her targets instead of using brute force to disable them.

I can play evolved/unevolved forms of some of these if you're interested. The evolutionary stages I chose were simply what I thought would be the best stage for their starting personalities. I'm also open to playing any of these characters as humans transformed into pokemon, as that doesn't really contradict any of their concepts so much as add another layer of depth and a different angle to it.

Hello!
I was diagnosed with a Schizotypal personality disorder and mixed anxiety-depressive disorder in my home country and was under a supervision of a psychiatrist there, but that's not the case in Germany. I have Techniker health insurance, but on their website there's only a list of therapists without anything about their specialization. I don't want to waste time and, potentially, money, going to a doctor who can't help me. I don't know how "honest" doctors are here, e.g. if they know they are not the best match for me, will they tell me that or will they simply prescribe me a bunch of antipsychotics? Unfortunately, I had some bad experiences in the past.
What is the best strategy to find a psychiatrist to aid me? By the way, I'm not looking for ways to get on a disability or anything like that. Just need a but of a support every now and then.

I (F26) got into a relationship with my boyfriend (M29) 4 years ago now. He is high-functioning, I've got other stuff going on. I only include that he's autistic because I believe a lot of his behaviors stem from this fact and I hope they will not be misread as coming from a place of malice for him, just a misunderstanding of the way people work a lot of the time.
I just feel like it's unbalanced somehow.
He's sweet in his own way. He shows devotion different ways without words. By taking us out to eat every week, he's paying for my car, he paid the security deposit on our apartment, all things I am massively grateful for. He got me out of a bad living situation, he's been by my side as I recover from many bad things, and I couldn't be more grateful for everything he's done to support me financially over the years. We do divide things half and half now but he's supported me in the past.
Emotionally he just can't seem to get there. I find myself increasingly upset lately because he seems to have no empathy for me. At least not in an outwardly expressed way.
I know he's autistic and we came to an agreement at some point that I could explain things he couldn't quite understand, and he'd take me seriously. But it's gotten out of hand and I resent him for it now.
But he goes through these cycles and whenever he smokes weed (legal state) he gets anxious, paranoid, smokes or vapes it 4-5 times a day. I eat edibles maybe once or twice a month so I think his usage is insane.
This causes anything that we normally would resolve peacefully to blow out of proportion as he starts acting absolutely unbearable, defensive, and anxiety-ridden to a fault. I can no longer explain anything to him beecause he no longer believes me if I explain stuff that I consider to be basic human empathy to him.
Things such as:
My disability. I have several health conditions that cause me not to be able to contribute as much to the household, and he shows zero empathy for them. I just feel like most guys would be more concerned if their gf was crying/wailing in pain, but maybe I'm entitled? I just want him to ask me if I need stuff, or bring me water, or cook for me once in a while, or show any sort of care. I am getting treatment for these but they are not curable and I am already having a hard enough time balancing expectations of life already without help from him.
My weight. I have had uncontrolled 80lbs of weight gain related to a health condition, would be a ton for most women but I am very tall and have an hourglass figure so I wear it well. He gets way, way too excited about me exercising to the point he'll ask me even when I had covid if I was going to exercise today and makes blunt comments about my diet. I no longer feel like he's attracted to me. I'm not morbidly obese or ugly now. I don't even have a double chin. I'm still pretty and I still look good, I'm just not underweight like I used to be. Him suddenly not complimenting me or initiating sex with me like he used to makes me insecure.
Dividing the chores (in his culture, women do most of the work). We have come to the agreement many times when he is sober that since we make the same amount per month, with commute my work has me out of the house 11 hours Mon-Fri, his has him out of the house 7 hours Mon-Thurs so he should do majority of group chores such as kitchen cleaning, sweeping floors. He loses track of time of how often these things need to be done, and as such our house is a borderline hoarder situation. I am not asking him to do things like wash my laundry or clean my study, just to keep the livingroom and kitchen tidy, and I take care of the bathroom and any stuff that requires a toolbox since he doesn't know how to fix stuff. I also do the grocery shopping most of the time. But he seems to resent me for asking him to do his share.
I'm kinda messy, but I am trying to be better. Part of my frustration is he also refuses to touch any mess I make unless I explicitly ask him to - for example, we each got out sauces to put on our meal. He put away the three sauces he used and didn't touch the two sauces I used, even though they were all next to the fridge at the same time. Or he won't sweep and mop the floors he'll just sit and get high and watch youtube videos all day and act like every time it takes him 4 hours to do a chore that takes 20 minutes, he wants an encore. I don't expect him to clean up my every mess but he's not holding himself to his agreement and I resent that.
He also threw a tantrum when we got new cups. He hates washing cups so he says we need to just use one cup for water over and over again and will "police" usage of more cups to decide whether the reason for me using more cups was a good enough one to warrant cup usage...things like this make it tough because while I want to understand his condition, when he's constantly combative over stupid things like this that mean a lot to him but almost nothing to me, I am beginning to regret being with an autistic partner. I feel like an asshole but I frankly resent him for it.
Most recently he threw a tantrum because after months of me asking him not to engage with me about chores at 5am, (Any other time was fine, just not before work) he kept nagging me, I calmly told him to leave me the fuck alone, and he turned around and kicked an empty grocery bag as hard as he could (???) as he walked away. I never understood what people meant when they said "I got the ick" from that. I understand now. I have the ick.
Since then I haven't been able to engage in the relationship. I'm putting in the same amount of emotional effort as him, which is to say at this point, nothing.
I sat him down today (after much build up to this point) and told him I am on the brink of breaking up with him. That I understand he doesn't feel or process emotions the same way I do so I don't expect him to cry or beg for me to not leave but I do expect him to be better and that frankly if he is not willing to be better for us or our future children, I'm out.
My bare minimum for him to continue this relationship was no more weed and if he slips up one more time NA meetings, and for us to start couple's counseling. No more yelling and throwing tantrums, and no more hassling me when I'm in severe pain, sick, or getting ready for work.
I told him this. I told him even if we do all these things, it may still not be enough. He acknowledged he's not been putting effort in at all and apologized. We had a talk about how his autism effects the way he sees things. He thinks that what I am asking him for is fair and that my emotional disconnection from the relationship is a fair reaction. We will start couple's and inidividual counseling and he understands sobriety is again, the bare minimum.
But am I doing the right thing? Am I treating him like a kid, or am I underreacting? Or worse, overreacting?
TLDR; my autistic boyfriend and I resent each other for increasingly stupid reasons and I have no idea where to go from here. I've put an ultimatum but I heavily resent him for pushing me to the point of needing an ultimatum and can hardly see how our relationship can recover. I feel like I'm overreacting but at the same time, maybe I'm not. I don't want to treat him like a child at all but he is not stepping up to the plate of a relationship.

To keep it simple, I (18) have been through many things like.. All the time. My mom always had problems with mental health (anxiety, depression, bullying, daddy issues, abused in many ways, etc...), so do I! My little brother (16) is severely mentally disabled, so I was kinda put aside. He would hit, bite us, we have to feed him, diapers and such. I was a gifted kid with undiagnosed adhd and autism, so I got bullied for 6 years (it was also because I was "smart" (got burned out quickly after tho) and was and still do stuttering A LOT)until middle school I'd say. Then I met many toxic people : an ex (a narcissistic) that completely broke me in 3 years ; fake friends... And some events like : my father died, all my family except my mom abandoned me, some dramas, sh so school suspended me, got sa, tried to... Yk... multiple times and it goes on. No breaks.
And, until recently, I forcedly cut people out of my life (my ex and my ex main friend group), and was all my myself. It was triggering at first as it was making me remember of my previous bullying (without any insults or violence, just the alone thing), but I met some new people. I met my now best friends, a boyfriend, so my first healthy and loving relationship, my relationship with my mom and step-sad got better, I started to go out, take care of myself, coping and learning about myself (the audhd mainly and age regression) + getting some help (friends + therapists). So, I'm finally healing!! I stopped sh, or any other addiction (except maybe spending money even tho I don't have a lot.. Oops), I've changed my mindset and so many things. And all this self improvement is like a revenge on life, on bullies, on my ex and other toxic people. I'm worth something, not just because I'm useful to someone else, I deserve to be loved, to feel pretty, be true to myself and stop living in a shadow. English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there's any mistakes, but I'm just proud of myself. And also sorry for the long text ^'
Have a good day, you're loved and cherished <3 thx for reading!

Hi, everyone. Happy Memorial Day to you all. I'm a Marine Corps vet who served from '97 to' 01. I just gotta write right now to get stuff off my chest, so I figured I might as well do it here:
Lately, I've been about as down and depressed as I've ever been in my 44 years on Earth. Nothing in my life is going right and I've been working so hard and so long to try to get things to work out that I feel completely drained of any and all energy and motivation.
This past December, I lost my job. I'm a writer by trade and I had a nice job writing for a marketing firm in my hometown. The business, unfortunately, was downsizing and I was let go. And they figured out they could save a couple bucks by farming some work out to freelancers... the quality of the work suffered, but they didn't seem to care about that.
I feel like I have a curse. Waking up in the morning is getting harder and harder. I'm constantly overwhelmed and obsessed with thoughts of how I'm going to make; How am I going to pay this bill and still get food for the next few days? I drag myself through each day, how am I going to be when I do finally find a job? Will I be able to keep it? How the hell are we gonna cover rent next month? How can I get shoes for my kids? Are my parents going to die soon? Is my autistic son ever going to be able to live on his own? How can any of this possibly get any better? Why is nobody hiring me?... etc.
On top of that, I walk around feeling like I could have a heart attack at any second. I'm having severe panic attacks on a regular basis. My blood pressure is obscene right now. My wife is also having a hard time. We do our best to shield the kids, but even they know something is up.
I don't want to kill myself -- I really don't -- I just want things to get even a little bit easier than they currently are now. I'm getting therapy and care from my local VA Clinic, but it all seems like polishing brass on the Titanic. I'm on meds for my depression and they help a little... but they don't help solve the problems that are plaguing us and triggering the depression in the first place.
Since I lost my job, I've been looking for another job and freelancing in the meantime. I'm making a fraction of what I did while I was still employed, though. If it wasn't for my disability pay, we'd be homeless right now.
In the last 5 months, my wife and I have been barely scraping by. We're doing nothing but surviving. And as we survive, other responsibilities are being neglected... Like, for instance, my car is broken down and needs something like $1500 in repairs. We've had to share my wife's car, despite us both needing to be in very different places a lot of the time.
Also, my kids will be attending a new private school that they really need this coming August (public schools where I live are pure shit... especially for special needs kids). We have scholarships that will pay the tuition, but I still had to shell out $900 in registration fees. Now we're behind on rent because of that, but this is the only school in the area that matches the criteria of what we need for our 3 kids.
Groceries are killing me. I'm out of OTC meds. I'm out of cleaning supplies. Our phone bill is due. My parents' health is poor, especially my 82 y/o father; his heart is having problems and it's looking like he may have Alzheimer's. I have a potential job coming up, but unfortunately it isn't in my field and pays close to minimum wage.
I didn't picture myself being at this place at 44. I don't even know how I'm going to move forward from here. I'm considering going back to school for something else, but how the hell am I going to survive while attending school? Plus, my student loans are already high enough.
Sorry to dump here like this. I just figured this might be cathartic or something. I guess it was a little. Anyways, thanks for lending me your ears.

38F, 5'4'', 118-121 lbs, W, complaint-ER visit for chest pain.
Current medical issues: GERD, ADHD, bipolar2, chronic migraine, cervical arthritis/disc issues, panic disorder, GAD, tachycardia, and I'm sure other things I've forgotten.
Meds- Atenolol 12.5 am/half of that in pm. Vyvanse 30-40 am. Ritalin 10-20 pm in split doses. Omeprazole 40. Latuda 20 (I'm hit or miss and haven't been taking this consistently in a few months). Multivitamins. Tylenol/Ibuprofen for neck pain. Vit D. Omega 3. Zinc. Magnesium. PRN: Hydrocodone, Phenergan, Benadryl for migraine. PRN: Valium for panic attacks.
Former alcohol abuse but currently no drugs/tobacco/alcohol.
I think I covered all the requirements. With that being said... I wound up in the ER the other night with chest pain, left arm pain, lightheaded, and nausea. These are classic symptoms for an anxiety/panic attack but I was 100% not anxious that day. I had noticed extreme acid that wouldn't go away with tums. Other than that there were no "issues'' to note other than the symptoms listed. The ER Dr treated the acid (Maalox=carafate) and hung a bag of fluids (thinking the lightheadedness could be dehydration). All labs were ok and the EKG "looked great". I woke up the next morning and found these in my online chart. I'm wondering if anything on the EKG warrants a follow up with my cardiologist sooner rather than later (I see him once a year for the tachycardia). I know computers generate the reports that print out but a Dr actually has to read and sign off on it too. Any input is appreciated. https://imgur.com/a/6gpbvzF https://imgur.com/93nE0bJ

I was diagnosed with ADHD recently with a secondary diagnosis of anxiety and depression.i have been struggling with work recently, I just can't bring myself to get through tasks or actually start working. It has been very frustrating and difficult for me.
I work at a small organization with only a few other employees. We are quite close, I would say it is a very good work environment. I have been at this organization for about a year and a half. I was wondering what people's experience's with disclosing diagnosis have been like. Should I disclose or let it be?
Any experience or thoughts would be great!
Thanks

Hi, I’m Cindy and I’m trying to raise funds to pay for 4 crowns so that I don’t have to get 4 molars extracted (which is covered by my insurance). I’m currently not working due to diagnosed major depressive disorder and general anxiety disorder, and I am in the process of trying to get approved for disability, but it’s taking a very long time (1.5 years so far). It’s very important for me to keep my teeth, because there are other issues that could arise when missing some teeth, like my upper molars will move downward because of the extra space from extracted teeth. And it’s an issue of self esteem as well, it would be a huge hit on my self esteem and confidence, that is already extremely low, to have missing teeth.
Any amount anyone can give is very appreciated, and I thank anyone who takes the time to read and look at my story.
https://crowdfund.org/c/pay-for-crowns-on-4-molars/
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For those who struggle with cPTSD, truama, chronic depression and anxiety, do you ever feel like self pity is holding you back? And if so how are you working on to improve?
When I was younger I feel like I used to hide my trauma and mental health issues more and just lived in the present and somewhat compartmentalizing my trauma and issues in the dark recesses of my mind. But getting older and going through college and secondary education with more issues and stress piled on top of my trauma, a lot of it is spilling out and I notice I have a hard time interacting with people and finding friends because I either keep things really surface level, or I end up trauma dumping my problems on them and feeling that I want their validation for the things I've been through. Where does that happy medium lie and how does one get there? I've been going to therapy and doing EMDR, but I feel like its been slow going. She says to learn to hold back, but I am finding it difficult to do so.

So I’m isolating a lot. My therapist says I go from safe space to safe space being that I go to psychiatric rehabilitation, and group therapy, and see him, but other than that I have seen a friend (bedsides my cuddle bug kitty who is the best for anxiety), but I haven’t socialized other than that for years.
Even before the pandemic I saw one friend far away who is super busy now. Just doesn’t have time.
I have tried some meetup group, I may try a lgbt sport group to try to get out a little and be around people.
I’m on disability so I don’t go in to work anywhere. I live in a huge building with a ton of fancy amenity space but I haven’t even been to the fancy roof deck this season, maybe twice last, I barely make it ten minutes and I’m anxious and going inside.
I’m not sure if I have left the building since Thursday. That was two therapy appointments.
I used to go for long walks but the anxiety has gotten out of hand. The pandemic and isolation worsened it, but I’m also 40 and it’s hard to meet people at this age.

I am a 44 year old disabled woman with two dogs that I do not know what to do with. I have had them, Sheldon and Allie, since they were 6 months and 7 weeks respectively. They are 12 and almost 12 and have been great dogs… until recently.
They have been killing possums (not an issue), my mom’s chickens (a BIG ISSUE), and most recently has attacked the kittens that I am taking care of (they are 10 weeks old tomorrow). I cannot keep them and it is devastating to me. But my issue is I don’t know what to do with them! I do not think rehoming them is the answer as they will just continue their bad behavior and I do NOT want that for them.
I have considered having them put down, but that doesn’t seem like the right answer either. I do not know what is up with them, but I cannot continue to keep them. As far as I know there is nothing “wrong” with them. They have plenty of food, had a big heard to play in (they are now locked up in my house) and are loving dogs besides these issues.
I get scared every time I have to leave them alone as I cannot lock up the kittens. This behavior started about 9 months ago when my cat had a litter of kittens and between the dogs and the Mama kitty 4 out of 5 kittens were unalived.
These dogs are my emotional support animals and even have helped my dad with his anxiety. I love my dogs but at this point I do not like them.
Sorry if this is confusing and I apologize for rambling. I am very upset about this. Thank you for reading. I really ope I do not get torn to pieces regarding this.
Edit - I was hoping for help, but apparently most people think I’m a horrible person/pet owner. Thanks anyway. I’m going to keep this post up so others can comment with help or suggestions.

Me (20f) and roommate (20f) both have animals. i have a cat about 3 years old and she has a dog about 7 months old. i know how people feel about emotional support animals. “you are making it harder for people with real disabilities”. and while i understand that i don’t have any major disabilities, my therapist did recommend a cat about 3 years ago due to me being very introverted and get really bad anxiety. she said cats are great for introverted people. so i got my cat and it has been amazing. i’m a lot more happy and she really does help with my stress and anxiety. but anyways back to the story. we moved into a house that is not pet friendly. my cat is a registered emotional support animal so the landlord was okay with it. then a couple months into our lease my roommate wanted to get a puppy. she asked me if i was okay with it and i said i don’t mind as long as it doesn’t become my responsibility…and i say that because she works 2 jobs and is a full time student. she has no means of taking care of a puppy. and i told her she needed to get it cleared with the landlord because we are on the same lease and i don’t want to get in trouble for having it without them knowing. she asked the landlord he said no. she got the dog anyways and registered it as an emotional support animal even tho it is not. he is a very sweet dog super loving and super fun to have around other than the fact that since he’s locked in her room all day he does nothing but destroy her room. he has ripped up the entire carpet, the paint on her door is half gone from him clawing at the door, and has accidents everywhere. he’s constantly barking and just very loud. i took it upon myself to left him out and play with him when he’s left alone for 4-9 hours at a time. but now i just feel like it’s a chore. i live in a loft so my room doesn’t have a door just stairway access. she has started to just let him roam around the house while we are both gone and i’ve noticed my cats food bowl being empty a lot more than usual. i always know the dog eats it when the bowl is licked clean. i have a camera in my room and had mentioned to her that if she’s not going to watch the dog then please leave him in your room or put his crate in front of my room stairs so he cants get in. still does not put the crate up and even tho i show her the camera footage she just brushes it off. i’m not sure what to do i don’t have the money to buy a gate to block it and i don’t want my car to not eat. she knows he goes up there to eat the food and sees the empty cat food bowl and doesn’t even bother to fill it back up.

My parents were told when I was 3 that I had ADHD… my parents refused a prescription for Ritalin. I got no services in school, graduated at a 3.8 gpa.
Then came college. I was miserable, struggled with eating habits, homework habits, and just doing my work in general. I still graduated with a bachelor’s and a 3.3 gpa.
Then the workforce beckoned. I wound up in retail management. I was abused for my ADHD symptoms to the point that it triggered my PTSD until my brain broke and I developed schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.
I’m out of that job now and disabled. But in 2 days of medication, I feel like there might be hope of making more progress!!!
I’m clear headed, I’m a better driver, I’m actually motivated to clean and can overcome my trauma block around it, and my anxiety is WAY down because I’m making fewer simple mistakes. I went from being unable to do a days worth of dishes to powering through sorting the most disorganized room in the house, by myself in 2 hours. I could have had this at age 3!
I could have known when to take my turn while talking and followed those cues easier. I could have done better in school because I could have actually finished my math homework on time due to having the will to actually do something I found boring. I would have been more organized and put together as a human being in college and the workforce. I was tested a few years ago, but the results were inconclusive on whether it was ADHD or bipolar. So they said bipolar and put me on a med that made me got from 270lbs to 400lbs in a year.
Now I get to face down learning how to adult, and lose weight, and treat my PTSD and schizoaffective, and my parents suck. My husband is wonderful, but he has undiagnosed ADHD as well so he has the same problems I was having. I just need support and guidance from other women who may be in similar shoes of finally having things click after so long.

I was just in the VA app and looked at my rating and all the individual ratings that make up my 70%. I’ve been out of the Marines for 14 years and never really looked at it. When I was separating they made us all go see a doctor and a year after I was out I got 70% rated. I’m not very familiar with this at all.
Now I’m looking through, I see Anxiety disorder with alcohol abuse as 50% previously rated as PTSD, right and left shoulder strains 10% each, right ankle sprain with degenerative changes 10%, tinnitus 10%, hearing loss 0% and lumbar strain 0%.
My question is how do I get another evaluation for my back? It’s worse than it’s ever been, I’ve even been to the emergency room for extreme pain twice in the past 6 months. Is it worth even reevaluating or is there a chance I could get a decrease? Right ankle is much worse too but I’m honestly just worried about my back.
Anything else I should know? Thanks in advance.

So I (19m) moved out of state for better job opportunities a few months ago to fund my future schooling. It has been great here. I’ve met amazing people, work a decent job, and am overall happy. However, it’s hard not to think about the dread getting a post secondary education. When I moved here, I decided to apply to school in the area, and wanted to do this specific program only through the military. Due to medical problems, the military is not able to subsidize my education, and it was devastating. It’s okay though, because I had a backup plan; Earlier that year, I had already applied to another program, but it was back in my home town. Growing up, I developed a lot of anxiety because of friends and other people around me, which is a big reason why I left. After I moved, all of my anxiety went away. I feel like after being happy and content with my life in the last couple months is just going to end because of this. I am just diving right back into the source of my anxiety. I am aware that I am young and I still have a lot of time to figure things out, but it’s just not apart of my personality to just wait around - I want to go to school as early as possible in my life. Maybe I’ve grown more than I’ve give myself credit for, and it will not be as bad.

5’5 Female 225 pounds white No health conditions Only taking vitamin d and a pill for GERD. I do have bad health anxiety
Hi all,
I’m just looking for some advice here.
Last Saturday I started getting dizzy, it was awful on Sunday and Monday so I went to my doctor. She said it was just vertigo and told me to sleep it off.
Tuesday the dizziness went away but ever since then I’ve been feeling “off” or “loopy” in my head. I have no idea how to explain it. It’s kinda like I’ve been drugged or like I’m watching my surroundings in a movie. I know it sounds crazy. It’s like I don’t feel real and it’s a awful feeling.
I went to the emergency room last night and explained how I felt because I was feeling so off, the er doctor told me he would do basic blood work but he knows everything will come back normal, he listened to my heart and lungs and then left the room.
About an hour later the nurse comes in with discharge papers and I was sent home. I was never seen again by that doctor or told if the blood work was normal. I’m assuming it was. But on my discharge papers he put “generalized weakness”
I guess I’m just looking for advice on how I’m feeling. Has anyone else felt this? If so how do I help it?

So, I’m 28. I have had over 20 different jobs. I’m not proud of it. In fact, I absolutely hate that fact about myself. Most of those jobs I had to leave due to debilitating depression and/or anxiety brought on by different work-related stressors, or because of chronic pain and other physical issues exacerbated by my job duties.
I was diagnosed with autism last year. This helps explain a lot of the difficulties I have faced with work (e.g. a job based largely upon customer service is a big NOPE, I have interpersonal difficulties with some coworkers who don’t understand my communication style, I have great difficulties with more social work environments and feeling like I fit in, lots of environments really stress me out such as fluorescent lights and noisy rooms, etc. I couldn’t possibly list everything here right now). I also STRONGLY believe I have ADHD, according to the DSM-5 and my mom’s recollection of my childhood, but I am still searching for a diagnosis. This would also help explain why I have switched jobs so many times, lacked a clear direction for longer than a year or two at a time, and even changed my major at least 7 times in college. In college, I also took 4 years to get my AS (was going part-time, sometimes full-time, and sometimes taking breaks to work), and when I eventually went to university 4 years later, I wasn’t able to finish my BS because my brain just got overloaded and seemingly stopped being able to intake information. I have difficulty even reading books for fun, let alone finishing them, so textbooks are basically out of the question.
I moved out of my parents’ house 4 times, and moved back in 4 times (I currently live with them) due to all sorts of mental health challenges. My issue right now is that I had to quit my last job, which I mostly loved except for a few of my colleagues, due to extreme anxiety that led me to getting medical leave and temporary disability. I have been unemployed for 3 and a half months, still paying rent and bills, and I have hardly been able to apply to any jobs because I have such trauma and difficulty surrounding the job process that I just freeze and shut down when searching for jobs. Plus, I don’t even know what I’m looking for.
I am working with a career counselor pro bono, which I am very grateful for, but she seems to be too busy for me and keeps making promises that she can’t keep. Hopefully she can help me eventually find and reach my career goals. She is trying to help me find interim work, but it feels like an endless waiting game of pushing out deadlines and breaking promises. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting here stuck.
My options are: some editing/proofreading job that doesn’t require experience, working at a doggy daycare (maybe but maybe not because my last job was a dog bathing job and the people were too much and the dogs started driving me up the wall…and I absolutely LOVE dogs), or an office assistant or data entry tech (who doesn’t have to talk to customers/clients on the phone). I am really struggling with coming up with other options, and I’m hoping someone might have some ideas.
I have an AS in environmental studies and sustainability. I went to university for Wildlife Biology with a focus in Animal Behavior. I am passionate about nature, sustainability, protecting the environment, personal development, spirituality, and dogs and all animals. I have 3+ years’ experience working with dogs (bathing, kennels, some assistance in vet clinics and hospitals, and sitting/walking as a contractor). I wanted to be a dog trainer, but again, I’d have to get certified and I need a job now, plus that’s a lot of people. I want to work in a library, and I applied, but there’s only one opening around here that doesn’t require library experience. I got a job at a metaphysical shop but they rescinded the offer for a very stupid reason.
In addition to my sensory and other needs, I also can’t do very physical work, squat low or sit on the ground, or sit or stand for a long period of time. Which sucks because I got my AS to be an Environmental Technician. Office work would probably be good for me, but I get bored, stressed, and depressed if I feel stuck in the same spot in fluorescent lighting with a bunch of sad, stagnant people.
Sorry for the negativity! This subject just carries a lot of baggage for me, and I wanted to be as informative as possible. Thank you for reading, and I’d love to know what y’all think I might be able to do.