A day late but we're here, my little cheeto eaters! Remember as always to grab your bingo cards and let's get our little long weekend slumber party going. This whole fucking thing is FORTY MINUTES LONG, you're all lucky that my sibling who was supposed to spend the day chilling at my place has apparently forgotten that plan.
​

• There's a new opening style than all her other vlogs. Not sure if that's because of Morgan but also I don't care enough to go hunt down exactly which influencer she cribbed this style from. It features a lot of horse butts. Also her using her phone in bed, which I thought she didn't do because she's mindful.
  • The music she uses is this song, which is DEFINITELY not copyright-free, so have fun learning how actual copyright law works, Paige! The lyrics playing over the are "there are times when/it feels right to/run away, run away/when you ask the same old questions/every day, every day/Why do I set the stage?/Why do I find my place on the pedestal?", because I guess Paige went to the Love is Blind school of "make sure the lyrics of whatever song you use are really, REALLY literal"
• Giveaway winners! Congrats to the three people who won a pile of Paige's old garbage! Don't worry though, if you didn't win her trash, she'll be doing a lot more of these because she "appreciates [us] guys so much" and "wants us to experience some of the things that I'm so grateful to get".
  • Nothing says grateful like giving away your extras to strangers and instead of doing anything to promote them like you were supposed to in return for getting them for free, using the existence of this stuff as a way to leverage yourself up on the algorithm.
    • There's also Dairy Boy in the giveaways, of course, because no one's buying it organically.
• She explains moving Louie, it's the same stuff she said on Instagram. Weirdly horses are like the only animal I've never gotten super obsessed with, so I have no idea how BS this is, but it's almost word-for-word her IG explanation, so it's the same level of BS that was. She does word this though as it being a "charity project" and "passion project" she "donated to", because there was a dearth I guess of places to keep your horse in the rich people part of Connecticut.
  • She has to first run to get a grazing muzzle so Louie doesn't overeat in the pasture. This sets off my internal bad animal treatment alarms in a huge way, but again, don't know enough about horses to know if this is warranted.
• Just kidding! Don't let Paige into a Tractor Supply unsupervised, she's too much of a ~country girl~ to not come out with "so much shit". She also got this beef jerky that looked "so good". It's Iowa Smokehouse beef jerky.
  • It apparently looked good because all she had for breakfast was coffee. Why she only had coffee I'm not sure, since it's not like she didn't have the time to get something better. Coffee and beef jerky for breakfast sure is a choice, and one I'm sure her intestines didn't make her pay for later. This summer is all about ~hot girl indigestion~.
  • Story time! This looks like "legit, real beef jerky", which Paige knows because when Paige was in boarding school she stayed with a family who had a lot of cows and they made their own beef jerky, which Paige was of course intimately involved in, I'm sure. Anyway this makes her have such high standards, which is why she loves when somewhere like Tractor Supply (an enormous fucking chain, Paige) or a "local country mart" sells jerky because it's always better.
    • Fun fact that took me less than thirty seconds to Google, this "real" beef jerky is also available on Amazon
• More of the same definitely not copyrighted song as she packs up Louie's stuff and moves him. There's a lot of woman laughing alone with salad shots as she packs up and pretends to talk to... someone and "carry stuff" (ie: stand around touching her own body awkwardly)
• Some weird things about this whole sequence - 1) the "farm" she moves Louie to appears to have very poor, dilapidated fencing, red flag for me. 2) Paige is wearing a white shirt and then a white cardigan the entire time while DEALING WITH A HORSE and it never gets stained or dirty, which tells me she did fuck all, 3) the only guy with her is this big bald much older man who I assume is the guy starting this venture, meaning he's almost certainly who films her cantering around on Louie without her wearing a helmet laughing, which is so unbearably awkward. Like imagine asking a random older dude to film you doing that in a pure white sweater, 4) when Paige brushes Louie he sheds SO MUCH. Is that bad? It feels bad. When a dog sheds that much, even in the spring, it usually means no one's been brushing it regularly, 5) Louie has such a dip in his back and it makes me wince every time, especially when Paige shows him next to another horse. I don't know what that's from, but I hate it and it doesn't look comfortable for him.
• Nance and Baloo are at home when Paige gets back so she's just going to "throw on a little outfit" and they're going to go out for Mother's Day in Brooklyn. Paige really, really didn't want to go into the city because I guess she's suuuuch a country girl (nice, Paige) but she's doing it for her mom and to see her sister
  • Oh my god she DOESN'T CHANGE HER SHIRT FROM THE BARN, she wears a white henley, what look like blue pajama pants, and a leather coat.
  • Nance steals some of Paige's clothes (how I don't know since they're totally different sizes) and according to Paige is"slaying the boots", a phrase I will pay actual cash money to never hear Paige say again
• Next morning, return of the out of focus camera, though it may have been by accident this time because it stays out of focus. Anyway serious business Paige with her serious business glasses is starting the day with some "desk work". Is that a thing? A phrase? What the fuck is "desk work"? Has anyone who actually does work at a desk ever called it that?
  • When she's in Europe it's definitely harder for her to sit and do computer work even though she has a laptop but starting the day on her desktop at the same time as her "whole team" (WHO) it really makes a difference for them being all on the same page.
    • Okay so my actual job in real life is doing shipping and order management for a small creative goods company. I know very intimately what goes into product development, order fulfillment, etc, and Paige is just straight up saying nonsense. Like I paused and gave serious thought to what possibly she could be talking about, and I don't know what all this "work" is. If she was making everything in-house that's one thing, but that's not work she could possibly be doing or overseeing from Europe. But if she's outsourcing stuff, having it sent to a warehouse, and, then paying someone to ship it out for her, I guess she's doing... development? But that makes no sense because again, she outsources everything. She isn't doing wholesale, there isn't a lot to arrange for pop-ups if everything is outsourced and pre-made and she's only supposedly having one this summer, she only has eight products so the website maintenance is pretty easy, as is accounting, and she only really sells stuff around a drop which she does maybe twice a year.......... like genuinely I'm baffled here. It's my job to do this exact same thing every day with products that aren't jeans or sweatshirts or whatever and I'm so, confused about what her "work" is.
    • Allegedly they're on the "final push" for so many big projects and you know what, if any of these projects involve Paige actually doing anything besides feeling three different samples of denim swatches or deciding which vendor she's going to outsource oven mitts to and saying "I like this" or "I don't like that", I will issue her an apology. I feel safe in the idea that I won't have to issue her an apology, but I will keep on on offer in the off-chance I'm wrong.
    • She just finished making a line sheet (genuine lol once I looked up what that was) and apparently we are going to freeeeak out when we see her new merch - sorry, elevated lifstyle products.
    • It's denim. She's been working on denim. She shows us the final washes but it's in direct sunlight so it's all blown out and out of focus so they look mostly white? But she got the "perfect color". IDK, it's a light wash. I prefer dark wash, actually. It's a lot more flattering and forgiving. But we've already determined my aesthetic and Paige's aesthetic are not the same aesthetic. She's nobly pushed back production six months because she refused to do a full run unless the wash was absolutely perfect. It was so expensive but she needed to love love love the denim, because it's really what she's passionate about and what she wants to do, she wants to be the best denim brand out there. You know, because she's hand-making this denim herself, not just sending instructions to low-wage Chinese workers while being afforded the privilege to fuss over the perceived quality for six months because she has parents who are willing to flush money down the toilet on this. Also, for the record, but denim is like... a choice? Like what is the vision, exactly, because every clothing retailer has some version of denim and people are already super married to their faves, so how exactly is this business model working for her, here. And it doesn't look like stretch denim either, which means it's going to fit a very, very narrow group of body types. Like speaking from ample experience crying in GAP dressing rooms over my "freakish" (read, not built like a popsicle stick) as a teenager in a time before jeggings, jeans are not forgiving and easily worn by everyone. The thing about what Paige is doing so far is that it's universal enough. You don't have to really tailor an oversized sweatshirt or trucker hat to fit you. Everyone can make room for another overpriced candle. But denim??? IDK girl, you do you.
• Paige makes Olivia a latte. Olivia comes in and say it's story time about coffee. Paige asks if she should turn off the camera for this and Olivia says no so Paige continues to film herself preening while Olivia tells her a story about how messy she is frothing milk. Paige spends the entire time interrupting her to go "no! No! No! No!"
  • They look at buttons and rivets and embossed leather patches for the back, and then sweatpants leg panel samples. Baloo hangs out with them and Paige tells him he's stinky. She eats toast.
    • WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANY OF THIS. She's not DESIGNING anything, she's just doing that thing like, you know when you're choosing your racer in Mario Kart and there are a couple hundred variations of wheels and chassis and you just choose the unique combos you want to put together? She's doing that but with generic clothing. I've been jokingly referring to her stuff as "elevated Zazzle" but this isn't even Zazzle because Zazzle you UPLOAD ACTUAL ARTWORK TO. Why is she re-inventing the wheel? What improvements does she think she's making TO A PROVERBIAL WHEEL.
• Not sponsored showing off gifting time! It's not in focus at all so we can't really see any of the products (professional!). One of the products she mentions is that she's friends with CYNTHIA ROWLEY'S DAUGHTER who has nepo baby'd her way into dropping oven mitts and aprons that look like Strawberry Shortcake's rejects. Like they're cute, but they're again little strawberries on white. Like tell me none of you silver spoon-ass bitches cook without telling me by making WHITE OVEN MITTS. Those will turn yellowish and burnt after, what a single batch of brownies? Taking a piece of toast out?
  • This haul includes her tennis Tommy bag. Not sure how she got it since she brags about it being "sold out everywhere even Poshmark and depop"
  • There is sooooooo much of this free bullshit. How does she even get this much free bullshit. Why do companies waste so much money sending this to people like Paige who don't fucking care and openly give it away. What is the point of an influencer. IDK at this point I'm spiraling, this vlog is like a third of the way through and nothing has happened.
• Paige unpacks with Nance. She has so many clothes and I don't think she's worn any of them. Full disclosure that this was the point I actually got annoyed and had to take a break and play some video games for fifteen minutes because while growing up comfortably or on the upper end of middle class in a generational wealth type of town has taught me a lot of patience for people with too much money, there is at some point a limit to how conspicuous over-consumption and waste I can handle, and that point for me came when I saw how many sweaters Paige has that look like they've never been worn. And the on top of this she has a giant suitcase of stuff she's going to depop! The environment? Never heard of her.
• Paige is going to get groceries. She's needed Nance's help to do all the hard stuff she's had to do today like going grocery shopping and having soooo many clothes. She goes to Trader Joe's, then goes to a horse shop and of course buys MORE SHIT SHE DOESN'T NEED. I'm not condoning what the French did when they invented the guillotine, like that was really violent and horrible, but the point is that the longer I watch this vlog the more I'm understanding their motivations.
• Paige goes on a sunset ride with her friend Lauren, this song plays in the background as a flagrant copyright violation, I realize at this point that there's no way this video is going to stay up without Youtube copyright striking it so I have to be extra detailed for posterity and we still have so much to go and this is going to take forever. Louie's back still looks horrible and as someone with inherited lordosis, I feel for him.
• Tommy facetime! He says exactly one sentence and catches a tiny fish, for those of you keeping track on your Bingo cards.
• Nance is still over Paige's house when Paige gets back because she never leaves. Paige is wearing old Dairy Boy sweats. At this point when I scrolled down to press the play button again I realized that Nance has posted a comment about how proud she is of Paige within seconds of the video being uploaded. I live with my mother and sometimes I still need her help on stuff like yelling at health insurance until they cover stuff for me and even I am confused by how codependent their relationship is. Like doesn't Nance have her own house? A husband? Other children? Paige has spent this entire vlog needing Nance's help to do everything from grocery shopping to folding laundry and acting like a teenager. It's a rich text for a therapist to one day unpack.
  • It's Taco Monday, this is just a dumb and boring version of Paige performing the white people taco night song. Also bewildering, Paige seemingly DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE TACO STUFF. It involves almost no cooking! She even bought the spices pre-packaged! She needs Nance's help on this too!
  • Undisclosed new cooking knife brand product placement. They are amazed that it............slices.
    • OH NO SHE SAYS SLAYING WITH BOOTS AGAIN ABOUT THE KNIFE END THIS MISERY
  • Ahahhahah the reason they're so impressed is because they've apparently been cooking with unsharpened knives. Like Paige didn't know you could sharpen knives. A master chef, ladies and gentlemen!
• Oh god we're only halfway through. Paige wakes up the next morning. She got so freckly yesterday (read: she's courting melanoma and is going to age like a raisin). She's going to go play tennis at a club in Greenwich her parents are members at (Note, she shows the logo which means you can spend five seconds googling to discover it's this club. Membership is invite only and it's gauche apparently to discuss how much membership costs, but the estimate is EIGHTY GRAND A YEAR. To be clear, that is nearly THREE TIMES the average American household income. Paige is the child of people who spend more in one year to play tennis a few times a week than most people do getting fucking doctorates, which clears up a few things for me: one, I've never gotten those texts where she casually demands Morgan Wallen pay her back tens of thousands of dollars like it's $50, but I guess to her it is like $50, and two, why everything about Paige and how she acts towards people and money in this video is a million times more effective at radicalizing people on economic policy than anything Bernie Sanders has ever lain awake at night dreaming of.
  • Camera going in and out of focus during this explanation.
  • Ah she's doing it with her mom. Again. Heaven forbid Paige breathe without Nance.
  • Oh also she has to shoot an ad in the tennis dress, but she definitely likes and would go to play tennis anyway.
• More unboxing undisclosed adver- I mean PR.
  • I'm so serious, tthe flagrant wealth being thrown around in this video and the amount of free stuff a trust fund baby with absolutely no merits or skills whatsoever is getting because she has 300K followers on Instagram that she probably bought half of is like the best argument for socialism I have ever seen.
• .Paige gets dressed in the third outfit of the day to go to the dentist. The pants are pointedly too big on her so they don't stay up in the waist and create this weird enormous kangaroo pouch around her crotch. She pairs that with a toddler sized medium t-shirt for a football team she's probably never heard of, a choker that looks like something a boy band member in the early 2000's would wear but out of fake pearls, and cowboy boots. It's... the look sure is looking, let's just say that.
• Paige opines on how much she prefers to do vlogs at home, but don't worry, she won't stop doing travel vlogs for us! (Oh thank goodness, where would we be without the insights we get from them.) She feels like they add variety to her channel (what, no, we LOVE coming with you to the barn to watch you ride without a helmet over unsourced music! five times a vlog!). Sometimes she feels like there's this pressure to show us as much as she can, which explains why all we see in her travel vlogs is hotel room bathrooms, tennis matches, and the tops of various tabletops in restaurants. Anyway she feels like there's pressure because in reality she's there for Tommy. Which we KNOW, that's the entire PROBLEM, Paige. If you were HONEST about the fact that being a WAG on tour sucks and you don't get to actually see the places you're pretending to really go and immerse yourself in, we WOULD HAVE FEWER COMPLAINTS AND YOU'D FEEL LESS ANXIETY, the problem is that you have to keep compulsively lying about how cultured you are and how you really ~got a feel~ for the location. Just stop lying!!! Stop!!! Lying!!! Challenge!!!!! The anxiety you feel and the reason you have to monitor this subreddit comes from your CONSTANT LYING.
  • Ugh she would NEVER have gone to ROME if it weren't for Tommy. I think this is a ploy for authenticity but boy is it coming across as privileged.
    • I do think in her own Paige way though this entire monologue she has is about something I've noticed her talking around a lot - I think she's afraid if she stops travelling and being a WAG no one will care about her. I think she's terrified of doing what makes her happy, which is being home, hanging out with her mom, riding her horses, and spending her parents' money. But if she just let herself do the things she actually liked and stopped trying to always pretend to be cooler and more interesting than she is, no one would keep paying attention to her, because it's not like she has a sparkling personality or wit or unique point of view. Like I'm an interesting person to talk to, but if I tried to make a vlog of my life it would be pretty boring. I work a 9-5 M-F job and the most interesting part of my life is when I go to a concert or craft fair on the weekend or one of my neighbors goes out of town and I watch their cat. It's not riveting, but I also don't need to be doing fascinating things in order to be or feel like an interesting person. But people like Paige who need to always be travelling and going to events and flaunting how busy they are are often really sad and empty people. They're not doing any of the little mundane things that make people happy and spending time connecting with the people around them, they're just always moving around because they're afraid if they stop for five seconds, people will see that the only thing they have going for them is all that movement and travelling. I think Paige is constantly torn between the anxiety that comes with constant travel and isolation and putting herself on display and removing herself from the things that bring her a sense of calm and security, and the anxiety that if she allows herself to feel calm and secure, she'll lose the attention she craves. IDK seems like a thing she shouldn't keep indirectly admitting to in vlogs, seems to kind of undercut half of her material, but what do I know.
  • Also she really is going to positively contribute to Tommy and his life and career, ie: she needs to go home and feels comforted by home because that's where her mom and Amanda wait on her hand and foot and everything is about her, which she misses when she's with Tommy because when she's on tour with Tommy she has to accept that he's the center of attention and she's not.
  • Her home vlogs have been performing the best, like, significantly. Since she probably buys views and comments, this just means she likes them better and therefore buys more engagement for them.
  • Apparently her analytics are telling her that 30% of her views are coming from the "explore" feature, which she says is YouTube rewarding her for being consistent, and, uh. No. Not how that works.
    • I mean yes if you buy engagement it will put you in the algorithm more, but this is the time in the video where she accidentally self-owns. If you're an actual channel getting actual views from people who actually enjoy watching you, then VERY LITTLE of your viewership should be coming from the "explore" feature, MOST of it should be coming from subscribers or regular viewers or people who watch similar content. That's how the majority of people watch YouTube or find new videos to watch. But if fully a third of your viewers are coming from what's essentially a randomizer button, that pretty much confirms Paige is buying views and/or that a lot of viewers leave after a minute or two. Because if her content was good on its own, people would see it and subscribe, and then she wouldn't need to rely on the "explore" feature. But if she, as she says, is consistently getting a third of her viewership from that feature, than that means that a third of people are just randomly watching whatever YouTube puts in front of them and not engaging with her at all, meaning the ONLY POSSIBLE explanation is that she's essentially buying enough engagement to keep appearing on the explore page, but buying the opportunity to be put in front of people isn't actually getting her a larger audience because what she's serving them is a warmed-over turd.
  • Anyway Paige is counting on you not knowing the extreme basics and trusting that she "knows someone who used to work at YouTube who told her that's how the algorithm works"
    • Um if you don't know about social media - no one who works at YouTube or any social media company knows how their algorithm works unless they're the ones writing it, and if they do know, they're not going to tell you because that's extremely valuable, proprietary information and also there's like a lot of papers and NDAs and non-competes they'd be breaking if they did. They're telling you to upload consistently because it's good FOR THE MEDIA COMPANY. The company is trading in being a content hub, so they need people to consistently be uploading content, ie: raising the value of their site in a way they don't have to pay for. That's the entire business model of every. Single. Digital media platform. Heck, that's how most dating apps work too. The product is data. They want you to be giving them free product.
  • "I don't know, like I don't like doing things just for social media anymore?" HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
    • And a week later you spent a weekend attending influencer parties in the Hamptons for....... what exactly. The scintillating conversation?????
    • She's very quick to say that's not the case if she has to shoot an ad! Loves shooting ads! Please keep sending her free stuff!
    • God this is taking me multiple hours but at this point I've sunk too much time in and also am convinced this won't stay up for copyright issues, so I'm taking a break to like, stretch and clean the bathroom, anything to get me moving and listening to my own thoughts which are in complete sentences.
• I'm back after cleaning the bathroom. I've been at this so long that my sibling has shown up. But I only have ten minutes to go and I REFUSE TO GIVE UP. This whole completely unhinged and unintentionally revealing rant has approximately a trillion uses of the word "like" is from 21:00 to 26:00 and if you want to watch it you can. I probably should have transcribed it for a full AP Lit level analysis, but I'm tired. If we're lucky, when Paige tries to re-upload this with copyright-free music, she'll have kept that in there.
• Paige ordered a shed! She's so excited!
• The fence looks mildly less jacked up when they go back. Paige is brushing Louie constantly in this video. Fourth time I think we've seen her do this. I feel like there's a lot more to horse care than brushing them and she only shows us this part because it looks aesthetic and she doesn't do any of the actual hard or necessary parts like shoveling horse shit, but what do I know.
  • This sequence uses unsourced but definitely copyright song number three!
  • Fun fact: Paige is the same fake brown color as Louie's dappled neck. Aw, you know how pets eventually look like their owners? Cute.
  • Shout out to Paige's friend (perhaps Amanda? Olivia? Can't keep the preppy brunettes straight anymore) who actually wears a helmet riding.
• Next day, we open with a bit of this song (not sourced, copyright infringement number four, possibly more that at this point I no longer notice tbh). Paige puts on boots to go to the new shed and realizes the vlog is going to be so long because she's never done a whole week at a time before. Because I've made it this far, I'm the best. (Aw.)
  • Paige calls Tommy to wish him happy birthday and films it, which seems... odd. Especially since she doesn't film it in a way where he can see she's filming.
  • Paige gets tea for breakfast (nutritious) and a coffee for the guy at the barn we must have seen earlier. His name is Aaron. I could do some google sleuthing and find him probably, but I don't care. Paige met him going on trail rides at her old barn. Do middle aged men usually hang out at barns doing trail rides? Just scoping out young idiots with disposable income? The whole thing seems sus. Apparently he has like seven kids.
  • Paige never realized how expensive pre-made sheds were, but it's a local business that makes it by hand! I assume the local business is called Costco And Sons.
  • More uncredited The Shins plays as Paige only loads the shed with blankets and nothing heavy or unpicturesque.
  • Another Tractor Supply run, at this point they're who really should be sponsoring Paige
  • Paige goes to say goodbye to Louie and he HIDES FROM HER IN THE WOODS
    • Girl.
    • Oh my god no wonder he's mad at her, they've been staying somewhere WITHOUT A STRUCTURE. He's been sleeping OUTSIDE. It got into the 40's every night in New England last week!!!
• Out of focus Paige talking about how she had suuuuuch a long day "running errands". Olivia didn't get to join Paige on her little horse girl excursions because she had to be at the warehouse and onboarding a new DB employee. Anyway Paloma is in town now
  • Paige learns that apparently you're supposed to be washing veggies as she prepares things to grill. PAIGE HAS BEEN COOKING THIS WHOLE TIME NOT WASHING VEGGIES. I.......... I am going to need to be sedated after this.
• Paige exfoliates and puts on a definitely not sponsored face mask
  • She's wearing skiing pajamas. In case we forgot she was a skier. Did you know she was a skier????
    • PSYCH, these are from previous ads with PJ Place but actually she really likes these and this one ISN'T an ad she just loves the product so much
• Paige is doing her makeup! We're at the end stretch! I'm almost there!
  • She took a day off of vlogging to go see her grandparents, but immediately segues into her Ulta trip. Because of her stupid grandparents, she didn't get to go to the barn, frankly how can she survive in these conditions.
  • Dairy Boy phone case plug! She was soooo specific about what she likes in phone cases and definitely didn't just choose between Zazzle, Redbubble, or (insert other brand here)
    • It's a shitty thin cover that looks like it protects your phone from approximately nothing and should cost $10 but I estimate she'll sell it for at least $40
    • Of course because Paige was so super particular about the details and business-minded when it comes to quality it took a long time to make........phone cases.......
  • Tommy calls and says hi
  • Paige rambles about her day and makes coffee. Tommy sent her peonies because he's "so cute". We see the phone cases and they're weird and ugly. More "gifting" (undisclosed advertising) that came in the mail
• Paige makes pickled red onions, every time she does it she changes the recipe a little bit even though she totally has a recipe and isn't googling. She starts pickling carrots which she says are going to "go bad soon" (that takes like six months, how do carrots even go bad?) She also does it in a water glass which, good luck ever drinking from that again without it tasting like vinegar.
• And then with no warning, it cuts off. That took me three and a half hours. It's been a journey and I hate it. If there is ever a vlog this long, I'm doing it in segments across multiple days because I'm exhausted by this much wealth and inanity. Time to go touch grass, start dinner, wash my vegetables before I do so. You know. The little things.

Here are the latest winner pick statistics. This is a "midseason" update. The next update will be after the finale.

To avoid any potential spoilers (or even the impression that something could be a spoiler), numbers for a particular castaway will be published only after they are voted out.

Episode 11

Danny was ranked 8/18 in Winner Picks.
He had 72 of 1,380 total picks (5.22%).
Of the people who picked Danny as their winner pick:

• Median calculated guess for "how many people picked the same person as you": 84 (rounded)
• Calculated guess percentage: 6.09%
• Rank of estimated guesses: 9
• +/- to real rank: +1

 

Post Episode 11

597 Winner Picks (43.26%) still standing.

Why Did People Think Danny would win?

Users were given to a chance to explain their winner picks. We have compiled some of those quotes below:

• "In his bio he talks about being a kind and compassionate person instead of focusing on hardcore strategy and that gives me good vibes, he seems like someone who won't present themselves as a strategic threat and because of that he'll stick around long enough to win FTC with his social skills same as Gabler did last season."
• "Danny seems really down to Earth and a people person. He is also very aware of how people perceive him which is really important in all aspects of the game. A physical asset for his tribe, I think he will make strong early bonds and be likeable enough to end up as the Sole Survivor."
• "Based on his preseason profile, Danny will be a strong physical player who nevertheless understands the importance of being kind and developing positive relationships. He cites Jeremy as an inspiration for his gameplay, which I think is a wise choice."
• "Tom Westman 2.0 (is what I'm telling myself anyways)"
• "Cause his name has double letters"

Episode 12

Jaime was ranked 18/18 in Winner Picks.
She had 17 of 1,380 total picks (1.23%).
Of the people who picked Jaime as their winner pick:

• Median calculated guess for "how many people picked the same person as you": 54 (rounded)
• Calculated guess percentage: 3.91%
• Rank of estimated guesses: 18
• +/- to real rank: 0

 

Post Episode 12

580 Winner Picks (42.03%) still standing.

Why Did People Think Jaime would win?

Users were given to a chance to explain their winner picks. We have compiled some of those quotes below:

• "Jaime-Lynn just has… it! She’s definitely sweet; but fun. Sassy, yet smart and she is absolutely someone who would be willing to backstab. She just feels like the perfect survivor winner."
• "I thought Jamie seems level-headed and adaptable. I think she will be starting well in her tribe and will surprise people at the merge "
• "Jamie has the same name as my mom so she has to win just because lol plus my mom is rooting for her cuz of the same name lol"
• "She just seems… fun. She has a head on her shoulders but not in a way that seems threatening!"
• "the vibes are just simply immaculate with this chick"

Finale

Lauren was ranked 12/18 in Winner Picks.

She had 52 of 1,380 total picks (3.77%).
Of the people who picked Lauren as their winner pick:

• Median calculated guess for "how many people picked the same person as you": 91 (rounded)
• Calculated guess percentage: 6.59%
• Rank of estimated guesses: 7
• +/- to real rank: -5

 

Why Did People Think Lauren would win?

Users were given to a chance to explain their winner picks. We have compiled some of those quotes below:

• "Lauren seems very social and approachable as a person, especially with the social game becoming more important and impactful in seasons 41-43 with the smaller tribe format. I can see her getting into that early majority and making good run at the merge - I think she’ll be a very logical, social and smart player."
• "The logo has a woman with an afro. Season 43 had a person that looked like Gabler on the logo, so I’m hoping that carries over!"
• "I want someone who plays an aggressive game to win, we’ve had too many “subtle” winners. I definitely think a Ratu’s winning this season."
• "Lauren is adept at handling drama being someone recently divorced. I think people will severely underestimate her and I believe she knows how to act appropriately around certain people, given she is an elementary school teacher. I also think she'll give a killer FTC performance."
• "In a praying, I heard a certain Macedonian Jesus wisper her name"

Carson was ranked 11/18 in Winner Picks.

He had 53 of 1,380 total picks (3.84%).
Of the people who picked Carson as their winner pick:

• Median calculated guess for "how many people picked the same person as you": 116 (rounded)
• Calculated guess percentage: 8.41%
• Rank of estimated guesses: 2
• +/- to real rank: -9

 

Why Did People Think Carson would win?

Users were given to a chance to explain their winner picks. We have compiled some of those quotes below:

• "In preseason interviews, Carson has mentioned studying the game loads of times. With his young age and acquired knowledge to play the game decently, especially involving ideas focused on reducing perception of threat level, the cast will likely downplay his abilities, allowing him to go far and take the money."
• "He appears to be extremely intelligent, which will definitely serve him well. Even though he’s young, I think he has a good grasp of what the game entails and will be able to integrate himself well on his tribe.
• "back to back seasons often share similarities and Carson is the most similar to Jesse from season 43 who probably played the "best" game overall.
• "Carson seems like the ideal mix of intelligence, athleticism and cunning, while still managing to seem non-threatening due to his age and cheerful, childlike personality. I think he'll easy make the merge, and from that point on the biggest battle will be managing his threat level."
• "Big sophomore-by-credit-hours energy"

Carolyn was ranked 2/18 in Winner Picks.

She had 100 of 1,380 total picks (7.25%).
Of the people who picked Carolyn as their winner pick:

• Median calculated guess for "how many people picked the same person as you": 103 (rounded)
• Calculated guess percentage: 7.46%
• Rank of estimated guesses: 4
• +/- to real rank: +2

 

Why Did People Think Carolyn would win?

Users were given to a chance to explain their winner picks. We have compiled some of those quotes below:

• "Mother! Carolyn may seem like an eclectic and "out there" pick but just look at our last two winners. Maryanne and Gabler proved that wacky and fun characters can win this game and I believe that the trend will continue with Queen Carolyn."
• "I've watched her play ORGs before and she was a fun player in those and usually would place well. Her personality is chaotic but she is a smart and caring player and I think that would help her win."
• "Picking someone like Carolyn 3 seasons ago would be an insane choice for most people but I think with the past few winners we're seeing now that archetypes that were previously only casted to be zany characters are now able to make strategic moves and win the game. I think Carolyn is someone who can play similar games to a Maryanne and Gabler by using her quirky persona while making strategic moves with players who might underestimate her at the start."
• "I played Survivor with her in an ORG! She was the first boot both times, but she has gone on to win other online orgs! She is an absolute Queen/Icon and even though she is out there, she has an incredible social game, and she's going to be very smart and in-tune with the people around her. I have 0 doubt that she's going to be iconic this season, and I'm delighted that she can represent people who play survivor online because they love the game that much."
• "She's weird. I like that."

Heidi was ranked 15/18 in Winner Picks.

She had 38 of 1,380 total picks (2.75%).
Of the people who picked Danny as their winner pick:

• Median calculated guess for "how many people picked the same person as you": 72 (rounded)
• Calculated guess percentage: 5.22%
• Rank of estimated guesses: 15
• +/- to real rank: 0

 

Why Did People Think Heidi would win?

Users were given to a chance to explain their winner picks. We have compiled some of those quotes below:

• "Heidi seems very personable and friendly, and does not stand out as a strategic threat. This has been a pattern for winners in the "new era" and I hope she can survive the early merge and slip under the radar through the jury phase."
• "We're due for another Puetro Rican winner, and Heidi will be more lowkey of the 2 options. She seems like a more nuturing version of Sandra who has the challenge ability to elevate her game to the next level."
• "I have maintained since the start of 41 that the new 26-day format benefits those who slow play it the best. I still feel that the mom archetype has a good chance to win if they get to the end, as they have not won in a long time. I picked Heather, Marya, and Lindsay the last 3 seasons, I’m sticking to my guns and picking Heidi."
• "I chose Heidi because she wants to play like Angelina. How can she lose ?"
• "I always get it wrong when I use careful reasoning so this time I picked a name that I like."

Yam Yam was ranked 1/18 in Winner Picks.

He had 337 of 1,380 total picks (24.42%).
Of the people who picked Yam Yam as their winner pick:

• Median calculated guess for "how many people picked the same person as you": 155 (rounded)
• Calculated guess percentage: 11.23%
• Rank of estimated guesses: 1
• +/- to real rank: 0

 

Why Did People Think Yam Yam would win?

Users were given to a chance to explain their winner picks. We have compiled some of those quotes below:

• "I literally love talking to barbers/hair stylists because they have so much gossip. I feel like they are actually selective with the information they share, but by the end you are usually able to make a good friend. So, this led me to debating between Yam Yam and Matthew because this is a skill I feel like we rarely see on Survivor, and in the new era I think a lot of people are going to find these social war-horses as big threats. Yam Yam stands out as someone that can just make people laugh and seem like he's not playing the game. However, I feel like he's hiding a coniving, sneaky side that people may see in someone like Tony that gets him to a good position, and then suddenly you're looking at no way of stopping the Yam Yam battering ram."
• "he owns a salon. we all know that many people like their hair laid to perfection, and i can only assume this is how Yam Yam will play survivor. there is no room for error when you are a hairdresser, and Yam Yam will apply his styling skills to survivor and slay the jury with his fashionable yet strategic endeavors."
• "They are or used to be a drag queen if I’m not mistaken. And everyone knows that drag queens are cutthroat af, so Yam Yam ftw."
• "Yam Yam seems so unassuming and funny that he’ll lower the guards of the other castaways while making good social connections. I think he can sneak his way to the end by not appearing as a strategic or physical threat on the surface and then his social game will get him the votes."
• "Top-tier meme pick. Naseer wills it."

Season Archive

You can view the spreadsheet here

One of the classic themes of battleboarding and fiction is technology vs magic. There's something really cool about the idea of modern technology going up against superpowers and magic, or even just superpowers being used in war. Izetta: The Last Witch is basically about a single magic user in an alternate World War Two. The Wonder Woman movie sees a superhero on the battlefield of WW1. Dr. Manhattan wins the Vietnam War. Captain America punched Hitler. Wakanda's military is built on super-technology.
Some people like to imagine what effect fantasy creatures, races, or monsters would have on warfare.
I myself had a post on here about how one of my favorite tropes is seeing how a superhero, villain, or monster stacks up to police or military forces, since it gives us a solid idea of their power relative to real life weapons.
However, I think modern audiences and creators have lost sight of how truly powerful and downright horrifying a modern military is. All the advanced weapons are just the start.
Thought Experiment:
I want you to imagine a monster that has these capabilities:

• It is completely invulnerable to ordinary gunfire. Bullets simply bounce off, and only special materials or weapons can pierce it.
• Can move as fast as a racehorse, but for hours straight instead of minutes. Relative to humans, it's faster than the greatest Olympic sprinters who have ever lived, and capable of traveling hundreds of miles without rest.
• The strength of 275 horses.
• It's the size of a small room, and weighs in at more than 26,000 pounds. A fully grown African Elephant looks at this thing and says "I'm not going to fight something outside my weight class."
• This thing can swim too. It's amphibious.
• It has a ranged attack that can completely incapacitate or kill a human in just one shot. Anyone who by some chance survives is left seriously injured.
• It is capable of unleashing around 10 of these attacks every single second, with an effective range of around half a mile. It has enough power to launch thousands of these attacks without becoming fully exhausted, though sometimes short rests may be needed.
• It is an intelligent creature with multiple brains, each of which is a human-level intelligence specialized to operate different parts of its body. Whereas normal humans have to move and fight with a single brain, there is a "driver" brain and a "gunner" brain.
• Such creatures rarely operate alone. In fact, more than mere animals, they arrange themselves into complex hierarchies, with the largest including hundreds or even thousands of such beasts all coordinating amongst each other.
• These creatures have a symbiotic relationship with an entire ecosystem of other monsters: they have large living spaces inside for smaller creatures, each of which themselves is a human-level intelligence capable of killing humans up to 500 meters away with a single hit. Larger creatures can include massive winged abominations capable of leveling entire city blocks in a single pass.
• Communicates with other members of its kind through some electric telepathy.

The punchline to this setup is obviously that what I'm describing is not a "monster" but a real life military vehicle, but where I'm going to surprise you is in what it is. What I've asked you to imagine is not an attack helicopter, not a fighter jet, not even a tank. What I've just described to you is the M113, a basic armored personnel carrier with a single machinegun and squad inside.
Sure, there's always some fancy engineering in military vehicles, but yeah, for our purposes the M113 is basically a metal box with treads and an engine on it.
This transport vehicle, not necessarily meant for direct combat, sounds like some kind of party-killing D&D monster when you lay out its actual capabilities. Now let me tell you that an "Armored Personnel Carrier" with just a single machinegun is actually fairly basic.
If we want to look at "Infantry Fighting Vehicles", which are meant to transport infantry, support them, and work alongside tanks, we might additionally have:

• Superhuman senses including binocular, night vision, and thermal vision (i.e. advanced optics)
• Homing projectiles that can burn through a couple feet of solid steel (i.e. anti-tank missiles).
• A machinegun that literally shoots grenades (not even an exaggeration: "automatic grenade launchers" have been around for decades).
• A machinegun that is actually a small cannon (literally, an autocannon).
• Sometimes, an actual legit cannon just for good measure.

A modern, mechanized military again, can have thousands of such vehicles. Oh, and a lot of actual tanks, airplanes, and artillery too. Finally, you have some actual human soldiers fighting alongside all these mechanical monsters.
But these monsters aren't the scary part. The real terror of a modern military isn't the tanks, planes, or artillery, but its ability to sense and coordinate.
Who is more scary as a villain: a mob boss who can punch through a brick wall, or a mob boss who always knows where you are? What is more scary to face as an opponent in combat: a wizard who takes a few minutes to charge up some big fireball attack, or a wizard who can simply divine where you are and teleport a small grenade right in front of your face?
It's the ability to find targets, not just destroy them, that makes all the difference. I've been reading a book called 7 Seconds to Die, which is an analysis of the Second Nagorno-Karabakh War in 2020. The basic thesis of the book is that while overshadowed by the pandemic, the war is a glimpse into the future, given how Azerbaijan's military was able to inflict a crushing defeat on Armenia with an array of new technologies that reads less like a war and more like a horror movie.
The name of the title comes from a soldier remarking that when they heard loitering munitions overhead, they had only 7 seconds until it hit. A loitering munition, by the way, is basically a hybrid drone/bomb that can fly around for hours looking for targets, then dive onto them and explode. LMs are already intelligent and well-programmed enough to identify and choose their own targets, with human operators being able to step in as necessary. Did you even know that was a thing?
A big theme of 7 Seconds to Die is that the modern battlefield is "transparent". There is nowhere to run and it is almost impossible to fully hide. The "kill chain", the process of a military detecting something, deciding to hit it, and being able to hit it, is easier and faster than before. If you make a noise, emit heat, send out an electromagnetic signal, etc, you will be found, you will be targeted, you will die.
The ranges and accuracy of drones, artillery, and missiles is such that your only real defense is not being detected or seen, and that's only getting harder. Tanks are still relevant, but heavy armor is less meaningful when missiles and drones can attack the top armor which is thinner. Traditional camouflage and cover is becoming less meaningful when the amount of "sensors" on the battlefield, whether thermal, acoustic, electromagnetic, etc. is not only increasing, but sensors are becoming shooters. The drone that detects you doesn't just send a video feed back to headquarters. It sends a missile to you.
No longer will you have to wait whole minutes after being spotted for artillery to rain down on your position, as a human Forward Observer has to manhandle some radio and talk to another human, going through a whole procedure to call in your exact coordinates. Instead, you're just minding your own business when you hear a drone overhead, a drone that can not only spot you with its cameras and sensors, but has the artificial intelligence to select its own target (you) and instantly attack. 7 seconds to die.
If the speed and "transparency" of modern battlefields is scary, so is their size. On a Napoleonic battlefield, you might have to contend yourself with cannons that can shoot only around a mile away, and inaccurately at that. Now, you have "deep strikes" with "precision fires" as missiles and rockets can accurately strike over a hundred miles away. There is no "safe" rear area anymore. Anyone and everyone in-theatre is within range of a modern military. The only question is when will they find you, and how.
Thought Experiment #2: Imagine a military unit as a single entity, rather than just normal people with equipment:
One of the most foundational principles of military thought in basically any era is "combined arms", using different kinds of forces to your advantage. Armies aren't just a bunch of people with weapons, but people fighting together in ways that complement each other. Infantry anvil to the cavalry's hammer, tanks working in open terrain with their long-range guns and infantry crawling around in dense terrain where enemies are harder to find.
As a thought experiment, it can help to approach a military unit as though it were some kind of dispersed hive mind creature. A brigade isn't just 1,000 people with vehicles and equipment. It is a superhumanly fast, durable, and powerful monster that has superhuman intelligence (i.e. HQ unit with a professionally trained command staff) and different organs dedicated to dealing with different threats (i.e. all the different sub-units and weapon types).
If an artillery observer spots you and calls in a fire mission, that's not a "normal human" talking on the radio so another normal human can fire a cannon, but an "eye" of the creature spotting you and allowing one of its tendrils to strike from miles away.
Alternately, if that's a bit too abstract, you can attribute the capabilities of all the soldiers and vehicles in a unit to their commander. A battalion commander who can order his artillery batteries to level a city-block is, effectively, a City Block level character. A squad leader who can command their heavy weapons team to demolish a building with a rocket launder is, effectively, a Building level character.
Thought Experiment #3: Military Capabilities as Superpowers:
So much modern technology, military technology included, is basically the functional equivalent of magic. What, in all honesty, is the practical difference between some magic eyewear that allows you to see in the dark, and regular night-vision goggles?
Superhuman senses are already a mundane reality of modern militaries. Take your pick of binocular, thermal, night vision, etc. There's even some really fun stuff, like systems that can tell you where a sniper is hiding by analyzing the acoustics of the gunshot, or "counter-battery radar" which detects shells and missiles in mid-flight and can trace back the origins of their firing units.
Wouldn't it be cool if we had a superhero who could fly, superhumanly durable, with a ranged attack capable of hitting targets miles away? That's not a superhero. That's just an attack helicopter with long-range missiles.
What if we create mirror images of ourselves to confuse the enemy or make ourselves invisible? Electronic warfare involves a lot of this; decoys, false radar and signal returns, "masking" one's own signatures.
Do you want something superhumanly strong? Look at heavy lift helicopters that can lift tens of thousands of pounds.
Do you want fire to rain down from the sky and just kill everything on the map? That's where cluster munitions and long-range rocket systems like HIMARS or MRLS come in.
Do you want the enemy to stop raining down fire from the sky on you? Well, there's Counter-Rocket, Artillery, and Mortar systems, which are basically CIWS (Close-In Weapons Systems) put on land. They fire so accurately and fast they can literally just shoot individual artillery shells to pieces before they hit the ground.
Do you wish there was some kind of magic spell or energy you could use to scan an area? That's just radar.
Do you want a weapon that helps you fight with it, a weapon that talks and gives advice on what to do? Autopilots and cockpit voiceovers have been a thing in airplanes for decades.
Do you want projectiles that magically home in on the enemy? Take your favorite guidance system. Would you like a weapon that remembers what a target looks like? That's television guidance. Tracks heat signatures? Thermal. You can have missiles and bombs that home in on enemy signals like radio, radar, or jamming signals. Do you want missiles that know where they are because they know where they're not? The "missile knows where it is" meme is basically just describing an inertial-guidance system i.e. if you're in a car, you can feel acceleration and turns. Machines can be designed to "feel" that too as a way to tell how fast they are, what direction they're headed, and thus where they are.
Do you want to "counterspell" the enemy's telepathy? Okay, that's just jamming their radio signals and data links.
A wizard can summon more ammo until they run out of mana, or your radio operator can call in resupply until their headset runs out of battery.
Are you sick of the enemy jamming all your stuff? There are weapons that home in on enemy jamming signals.
Conclusion:
On one hand, I'll admit it's very interesting to realize "Wait a minute, tanks and helicopters are basically superhuman monsters from an infantryman's perspective."
Yet, on the other, I feel that the real strength of a truly modern military isn't in its ability to spew forth bullets or drop bombs on stuff. That stuff is something ordinary people comprehend: big booms and spraying ammo everywhere is something we've all seen in movies and games.
Instead, the real strength of a military is the ability to find and accurately target the enemy in the first place, combined with the communication and coordination to get all that firepower on target. If you've ever heard of the "survivability onion", it's basically the idea that there are "layers" of protection, the first of which is "Don't be seen." If you're seen, don't get hit. If you're hit, don't get penetrated. If you're penetrated, don't get killed.
People focus a lot on the weapons and explosions, what penetrates armor and kills the target. Others focus on "precision weapons" or "guided bombs", and admire how easy it is to hit something. However, the most precise weapon is still useless if it doesn't know where to aim; the real strength of a military is knowing as much about the enemy as possible so that it can maneuver it's forces and complete it's "kill chains" faster.
The terror and power of a modern military isn't just the firepower, but the certainty. On a "transparent battlefield" it's not just the big guns, but the fact that the big guns know where you are.

Apemax bursts onto the scene with dreams of rapid growth and sky-high returns. But hold your horses! This token’s claims are as exaggerated as its meme-worthy name. We can’t help but wonder if the “Apes” behind this project are swinging from tree to tree without a clear roadmap. Proceed with caution, fellow investors! Read more here:

I realize this movie couldn't be successful if the Mulligans had made it as long as the 3 hour 30 minute Ultimate Cut of Watchmen. Our society simply can't focus for that long :'( -- 2 hours would have been fine, I think. Some things I liked. Some things needed adding, or expanding on. Going to summarize with just bullet points, or this becomes 40 fat paragraphs. No particular order, just as I thought/think of it.
​

• 2 more minutes to explain WHO Thomas Peterffy is, and show him sweating his balls off. Remember, he accidentally gave us 2 very critical pieces of info: (1) That the price WAS going into the thousands. (2) That all we had to do was "ask for our shares" (DRS -- which no one really knew about yet). Americans MUST hear and recognize these 2 bits of info.
• [[ VERY LATE EDIT: ]] I am taking a little bit of a beating below on the 2nd of Peterffy's comments about stock ownership. We know he said "ask for their shares" (which apparently was calls exercising), but I also have it burned in my mind that in one of his interviews, he said something about "putting shares in their name" (or something very very damn close). I am searching for it. If I've made a mistake, I apologize. No apes were harmed in the making of the movie, or my post.
• Loved the musical sampling, but sometimes the bass was very heavy, and actually competed with the interviewees voices, or the monologue. I know an incredible Hollywood-seasoned pro audio guy in LA who can help the Mulligans for the sequel. PM/DM guys, me if you wish.
• 2 more minutes of meme samples, with more emphasis on why morale is so very important. The Bart-Homer meme had me laughing, but maybe a Matrix meme or one of the crayon memes, or The Warriors-Ryan-Cohen-as-Luther could have added emphasis that a bunch of goofy-ass retreaded apes, who self-deprecate, and self-defecate, are imminently going to slam dunk, balls-in-the-face, on Wall Street.
• Hhhwhere Apex Clearing ???? We got to Robinhood and Citadel giving tuggies to each other, but no mention of Apex doing the reacharound?? More villain hierarchy needed 3-5 minutes of exposure.
• Cede & Co also missing. Physical share certs vs. digital was touched-on, but the DTCC didn't receive a proper lambasting, nor with any connections made to Cede (maybe the biggest boss in this whole shit mess). 2 more minutes for this please.
• FTDs. MONSTER TOPIC. Maybe the most important. Brushed on briefly, but not really explored. I think Dr. Trimbath needed a few more minutes, to get a little detailed on FTDs and Obligations Warehousing.
• ODDITIES: We definitely needed 5-10 minutes to touch on weird shit like the Illinois Iron Oxide Mountain fire, the Brazilian Puts, and other stonkfunkery. The public needs to see that there is action taking place in the background, that their imaginations could not fathom before.
• 2 more minutes for Infinite Risk explanation. I think most average Muricans who watch will still come away from this documentary saying "Naw, how can the price go __that__ high?? Not possible".
• 10% less tugging of heartstrings, and 10% more FLOWCHARTS , pleeeeeaasseeee. I know people have shit attention span, and getting people in their feels works... but even the most dull of our population would have a little blood boil, if they could view connections from what was seemingly unrelated parties and occurrences.
• Keith Gill's Options needed a more thorough explanation. We see it went from $50,000 to millions, but got little explanation of his DD and his timing, and NO details of what an options contract is. People will think he "got lucky".
• BCG, Board of Directors, and other bad actors needed 5 minutes of airtime. It's important for the public to know that it's not just hedge funds and Wall Street... it's ancillary shitasses, trojan horses, and weaponized double-agent internal BOD and C-suite, as well, that alllllll contribute to this diseased state of what should be squarely-run companies.
• CokeRat was sensationalized, but we needed to present him as the 2-faced scumbag junkie that he is.
• The AMAs of Shark Cuban and Jon Stewart should have been addressed. Stewart squeezing Gensler's balls a little, should have been squeaked in too. Depending on post-production, Stewart's may have been close, but I think it would have made it. 5 minutes of footage for these 2 guys, would have rocked.
• The popcorn aura and previous influences, is forgivable. Let's consider maybe a lot of the movie started getting cobbled together in 2021, when info was still being sorted. And Co-Chodes definitely needs an adrenaline shot, or a hot woman's ass in his face, to wake him up.
• I would have hoped to see " rSuperstonk " given about 10 seconds of blatant exposure, to get new blood into this site. I did see the purple crayon cocaine line for about 2 seconds, but that's not enough. I have faith some will dig enough, they will land here, and join the quest.
• GOOD AMOUNT of HUMOR in the film. I appreciate that the Mulligans have a sense of humor... and this film is chock-full of it. We need to keep our morale, no matter what. Lose the morale, lose the war.

I'm not going to give the film a score, but I will say that it managed to captivate a 16-year old with really bad ADHD problems, who normally doesn't sit still longer than 5 minutes. Galvanized my angry Mom further (she worked at our cough-cough-corrupt-judge-fraudulently-bankrupted JCPenney, for 16 years). Her diamond hands equal any of ours. Also kept the attention of my girlfriend and her boyfriend, who both thought I was the village idiot 2.5 years ago. Lots of questions were asked, during and after. Knowledge has been spread..... "And knowing is half the battle!"

That's all I can think of for now. Thank you to the Mulligans for making this. I have no problem paying $16 or $20 or $30 for a sequel. Hurry up with it.

Hang tight retreads. We're gonna win this.

Apemax bursts onto the scene with dreams of rapid growth and sky-high returns. But hold your horses! This token’s claims are as exaggerated as its meme-worthy name. We can’t help but wonder if the “Apes” behind this project are swinging from tree to tree without a clear roadmap. Proceed with caution, fellow investors!
Read more here:

Just discovered this subreddit and enjoying a great deal. Not sure if it’ll be appreciated, but I wanted to try and make a contribution. Seems like you lot talk smack about each other, but have you actually spent time living in these other countries? Enough to confirm or deny whether these stereotypes are just memes or actually accurate?
I spent time many years living in these countries. Not passing by as a tourist or an exchange student, but actually being part of the culture, working and living. I’ll answer any questions with brutal honesty as a non european savage (so I don’t have a horse in the race).
Before anyone asks, Germany was the worst, but anything is infinitely better than americans.

It's Shitpost Saturday! Mod enforcement today will be lax in regards to user meme content that relies on templates (which includes super events) and is properly faired with the Shitpost Saturday flair. Dead Horses are conditionally allowed, given they aren't posted enough to constitute as spam.
This obviously doesn't mean the subreddit will be unmoderated, so please still follow the rules.
This post was made automatically

Have you ever read a story where the BBEG wins? This is the case right here as i'm about to tell you my version of the event that lead to our party's downfall both IC and OOC.
We played at 08/19/2021 and it ended at 11/13/2021.
[The Cast]
Me=Jenny (Variant Human Noble Female Divine Soul Sorcerer), My Dad=Collin Belasco (Variant Human Haunted One Male Twilight Domain Cleric), The DM (Martin), David=Lt Bucket (Variant Human Urchin Male Gloomstalker RangeAssassin Rogue), Ken=Kevin Ethan Levin (Variant Human City Watch Male Barbarian/Battlemaster Fighter).
To clarified on PC appearance: Me=Lulu (FFX). My Dad=Elijah (Bible OT). Ken=Kevin (Ben10 Alien Force). David=Just a guy wearing a bucket on his head (Joke Character).
There were supposed to be 4 more players to join in however each of them didn't stay for too long.
Tony=He's a nice guy to hang around with and this is his first time to be in Curse of Strahd. He played as Leliana from Dragon Age (Variant Human Acolyte Female Assassin Rogue) Unfortunately he left the group in halfway through the story due to important irl stuffs.
Terrance=He always play at Johnson's table. He brings out his character (Winged Tiefling Acolyte Female Light Cleric) i forget his character's name but we'd all nicknamed him "Demon Cleric" or "Mr.Demon Morning Glory" as Terrance posts a comment before leaving the group. "New rules have dropped, and while they're an improvement in a lot of ways from where they were before, they also happen to be incompatible with my playstyle. So I'm stepping down as a player for the foreseeable future."
Ledbetter=He was invited to Martin's house and was about to be apart of the team but he forget to bring his own character sheet & dices which ultimately lead him to be kicked out of the house. He's known to be the drug addict and walks with his own very long carved wooden stick.
Marcus=He refused to come play with us (Thank God!) as he states "Nah i'm not playing Horror games. I rather play my Nintendo Switch and Disney Mirrorverse." (Pussy... 🙄*eyerolling emoji* Who would dared to ever play video games own by the EVIL corp of Disney rather than play AMAZING dark gritty fantasy stories like Curse of Strahd?)
[Session 0: Kidnapped by the Mists!]
We begin our story with Jenny & Collin walking on a road to a nearby town. Suddenly mists starts to form around the two as they'd disappeared. At the same time, on a different road leading to the same town a painted green wagon dubbed 'Rustbucket 3' with a mule in front.
(Cue 'You're finally awake' meme!)
"Are we there yet?" Lt Bucket asked. "We're almost there." answered Kevin Levin. Just then mists appears in front of the mule, engulfing them.
As the mists settles down. all 4 of them are next to each other. Jenny instantly dislikes Kevin and was mocking him, calling him "Foul Peasant!" as this ticked Kevin off as he's going to give Jenny a 'Royal Beatdown' until they were both stopped by Collin. "Knock it off you two! This childish act will get us no where." "Speaking of no where... Where are we anyway?" Lt Bucket questions the realm that all 4 were in. Just then the Burgomaster Ismark Kolyanovich arrives to offer a ride to the Village of Barovia. The party accepts the offer, stepping inside a Carriage expect for Kevin as he follows behind with his mule & wagon.
Before they make their way to the village, they encountered a series of Wolves and managed to defeat them. Afterwards they encountered a strange old lady who's been selling 'Dream Pies' near the village. The party buys pies and were told to eat them before going to sleep. They'd all eaten dream pies as everyone is having good dreams.
At morning the party wakes up to see Ismark introducing them to his sister Ireena Kolyana the twice bitten lady who is the reincarnation of Tatyana. Jenny became enraged and jealous of Ireena who's getting an attention from the Count of Barovia... Strahd von Zarovich!
[Session 1: Vallaki]
After the party settled for a while at the Village of Barovia, they decided to move onto the village of Vallaki where they could find some answers and ignored the direction that leads to Madam Eva. While traveling to Vallaki through wagon, the stubborn Jenny continues to mock Kevin, trying to goat him into attacking her. Collin does his best to keep Jenny in check. Kevin doesn't mind or care about as long she doesn't get in his way. Lt Bucket meanwhile is quietly observing the surroundings as he spots someone or something is watching them from afar.
"Uhhh... Guys? What the hell was that?" Lt Bucket pointed his finger at the direction where he spotted the stalker but it wasn't there anymore. "Nothing." Collin muttered. "Don't try to distract us again Bucket boy!" Jenny didn't bother to look and mocks him. "You could at least try to be nice for once? You're starting to become an annoyance." Kevin said while focus driving what's infront of him. Jenny was about to say something back at Kevin until Collin shuts her up by covering her mouth with his hand, ending the conversation momentarily.
After entering Vallaki, the party went to a Church of Saint Andral as they'd met with Father Lucian Petrovich who tells them to go find the stolen enchanted bones. Milivoj the Gravedigger tells the party that the Coffin Maker had the bones they're looking for. After breaking into the Coffin Maker's Shop, the party discovers that the coffins he made had each four of the party member's names written in stone! Henrik tries to ambush the intruders but was easily beaten into submission as Jenny drags Henrik into a private conversation away from the others. "Y...you not going to kill me?" Henrik asked. "I want you to send a message to the big man himself. Tell him that i Jenny Maidcourt the Third is the true reincarnation of Tatyana! Not that pig whore Ireena!" she lets go of Henrik as he runs off to send word to Strahd. The others (IC) don't know this and retrieves the bones as Collin returns them in person to Father Lucian. Collin was rewarded for his efforts as he'd been given Staff of Healing. After exiting the church the others waited patiently for the Cleric's return. Seeing the staff in hand Jenny starts to mock her companion. "You good for nothing holy man! How dare you get a fancy reward and i don't?" Collin simply silences Jenny with a Silence spell. The others walking off laughing behind Jenny's back as she now plots for her revenge...
[Session 2: Invitation to Castle Ravenloft!]
This is the part where Terrance and Tony left the group as both of their characters are killed by Rahadin in combat as their bodies are sent in the middle of Vallaki where everyone including our party sees a sign post top of they're corpses that reads in Infernal language that nobody expect Jenny understands it. "The Count is watching you." a sinister smile formed in Jenny's face as she doesn't tell anyone about this. Kevin went alone outside of Vallaki to chop some trees down, basic lumberjacking to upgrade his ride with some gps we'd all earned throughout the story. Kevin then hears a howl of a werewolf as five seconds later he'd been surrounded by werewolves encircling him as their leader approaches Kevin and challenges him in a 1v1. Meanwhile Jenny is approached by a wolf that carries both a letter & a special briefcase on it's backside. I rolled a natural 20 on my Animal Handling to calm the beast and take both of the items to inspect. The letter itself reveals to be written by Strahd himself!
Letter from Strahd: Dear Jenny Maidcourt the Third. I know of you're falsehoods of claiming to be my beloved Tatyana. Ireena is the one i'd desire more than you. However i've admired your determination and your willingness to betray your companions in pursuit of great power which lies here in Barovia. The Dark Powers that be is what you'd seek. They will come to you in your dreams as whispers of the damned. I have already sent my servant out to escort you and your companions to my castle for dinner. See you in person. --- Strahd von Zarovich
After reading that, my character goes to open the briefcase to reveal a party dress in all black color and perfectly fits. The only downside is that the dress itself is a 'Sleeveless Bodycon Maxi Tank Dress Club' type. (The DM also informs me that when wearing it my Sorcerer gains +5 any Charisma skill checks and gains the following spells 'Charm Person, Enthrall and Dominate Person' for one use each as it recharges at dawn)
Jenny closed the briefcase and casts 'Burning Hands' to burn the letter. She plans to wear it before coming to the castle. I then cast 'Fireball' upon the Wolf when it's about to run off in 120 feet.
Collin and Lt Bucket rushed over to see what Jenny just did. "What the hell Jenny! Why did you do that?" Collin notices the briefcase in Jenny's left hand. "Who gave you that?" Jenny makes up a deceptive story to tell on why she'd killed the wolf and gotten the briefcase. Collin failed his insight, however Lt Bucket succeeded his insight and tells Collin that she's lying. "Okay Jenny please be honest with us and tell us where did you get that briefcase." No point in hiding it as i'd tell them the truth.
Meanwhile Kevin came back to Vallaki and walks behind where Collin and Lt Bucket were with a werewolf pelt around his waist. We'd all knew what that meant. Just as Kevin about to say something added to the situation, we'd all suddenly saw a carriage coming by and stops in front of Jenny as we'd all look up to see Rahadin with two Nightmare Horses strapped front of the carriage.
"My master has sent me to come pick you guys up." the carriage door opens as the butler beckons us to get in. Kevin and Collin considering saying no, however after witnessing the deaths of Terrance & Tony's characters and the DM does the 'Are you sure?' moment. 30 seconds later of reconsideration they both go in. "I had a bad feeling about this..." Collin said in worrisome. "Same here old timer." Kevin muttered. "Hopefully Strahd is a nice host." Lt Bucket said. Jenny slowly smile wickedly to herself and said nothing while were escorted to Castle Ravenloft.
(Cue 'Spooky Castle in Thunderstorm' image!)
The DM private message me after the session on what type of Dark Gift that my character gets. I replied back after few days of researching and deep thinking as Jenny gets 'Vampirism' as i'd told Martin that i wanted my character to become like Strahd in equal level. The DM warns me that if i do this, then she becomes NPC as AL rules out 'No Evil PCs' as i went through my commitment. No turning back as already planning to bring out my backup character.
[Session 3: Dine with the Devil!]
Martin told everyone expect me that i went through my decision as both Ken and my Dad just facepalming and sighs. David on the other hand is eager to kill my character as soon the betrayal starts.
We all arrived to Castle Ravenloft as Rahadin guides all 4 of us inside to where we meet Strahd von Zarovich himself at the dining hall. The DM describes of Strahd playing pipe organ before the party enters the hall.
(Cue 'Davy Jones pipe organ' scene!)
"Welcome, welcome!" Strahd gestures to the dining table. "Please take your seats."
Collin, Kevin and Lt Bucket seated next to each other on the opposite end as Strahd, me and Ireena seated the other end. Ireena's legs were strapped with chains onto her chair to prevent escaping. My character lets out a harsh laughter at Ireena. "Game over wench! You lose! I win! Strahd, will you marry me?" rolled a high persuasion with +5 due to wearing the party dress. "Hmmm... I would love to, but you are not Tatyana. She is." Strahd points to Ireena whom quietly eating without looking. "Betrayal!" Lt Bucket stands up and screams while pulling out his longbow readying to shoot an arrow aiming for Jenny's head. However Rahadin pulls out his scimitar and slashes Lt Bucket's longbow, breaking it, slams the arrow down onto his knee and forces him down at his seat.
(Cue 'Took an arrow to the knee' meme!)
"Rahadin do take out the trash." Strahd ordered as the butler drags Lt Bucket out and tosses him outside the castle. Kevin was about to jump on Rahadin to go save Lt Bucket but was told to back down by both Collin and Strahd. "It's not worth it." Collin said. "Please do sit down like a good boy or you'll join your friend in the dirt." Kevin reluctant sits back down and angrily eats with glaring at Collin, Strahd and Jenny. Rahadin came back afterwards.
"Now then. I would like to discuss with you." Strahd points toward Collin. "What sort of Deity do you worship?" 7 seconds later Collin replies. "Selûne" he answered. "How unfortunate for you... The Moonmother won't save you." with a snap of a finger, the Twilight Cleric is surrounded by mists and was gone. Kevin immediately gets up and shouts "Okay count chocula it's go time!" as he jumps onto the dining table, grabbing a nearby metal plate and starts absorbing the metal to his body (Ken reflavoring it as his Barbarian rage) and starts charging towards Strahd as Kevin readies his fist to connect (He took Unarmed Fighting as his Fighting Style) however Kevin feels slowed down as he's almost within Strahd's reach. "Na uh uh uh!" Jenny made a 'tsk tsk tsk' sound while wiggle her index finger in a 'no no no' gesture. "Rahadin please take this filthy peasant to the dungeon!" the butler looks to his master for an answer as Strahd nods. Despite in a 'Slow' spell effect Kevin fights back but was ultimately subdued by Rahadin as the butler drags him into the dungeon level of Castle Ravenloft.
Strahd looks at the two ladies as he thinking who to choose to marry. Who did he pick? That's when the session ended on a cliffhanger note. (The answer is in the next one) Afterwards i have texted on group chat about my TPK plan that never happened. (In my opinion it could've had happened!)
My TPK plan script: Jenny tells Strahd that she wants her companions to be they're latest supper before marriage... Starting with Collin, followed by Lt Bucket and lastly Kevin. ☠️ They're all go to Skully as the story ends with a Fireball to Kevin's Rustbucket 3, Followed by Jenny casts "Alter Self" to becoming like Tatyana (Strahd's original bride) and thus Strahd von Zarovich wins and all citizens of Barovia suffers for all eternity under the reign of terror of Jenny von Zarovich! 😈 (Evil Laughter)
Martin: Your son has now enter dm level evil.
My Dad: *Facepalming gif*
Ken: You've thought this through clearly... So sad for you.
David: *Pulls out Buffy the Vampire slayer kills vampire gif*
Me: It's what my char-
My Dad & Ken & David: Shut up!
Martin: *Adding Jenny's name to Skully while chuckling in the background*
[Session 4: The Arrival of Virtue!]
I bring in Lt Colonel Dagsten "Virtue" Hopebringer (Variant Human Soldier Male Oath of Devotion Paladin) as a replacement from Jenny since she's now a NPC Vampire with lvl 9 Divine Soul Sorcerer class.
(Cue 'You must be the Paladin' Netflix Castlevania image meme!)
Virtue's PC appearance: Talion (Middle Earth Shadow of Mordor & War)
My character's backstory & introduction as follows... Virtue is a soldier who serves under Sergei von Zarovich up until Strahd kills Sergei as Virtue went into hiding to stage a revolt that ended in failure by Strahd's loyal followers and undead minions. Virtue died from his wounds but his soul is now reincarnated as he's repeating mistakes of his every failed attempts of defeating Strahd and free Barovia. Reincarnated the seventh time, he finally decides to change his game plan as Virtue bent the knee to become a castle servant as Virtue being constant monitored for any signs or hints of his treachery by Rahadin.
Kevin was tossed to a cage by Rahadin as the butler locks it with his key. That's when my character comes in as he walks to the dungeon floor, summoned by Rahadin. "Keep him locked tight until my master had plans for him." Virtue nods as the butler leaves the dungeon. "You took one helluva beating. Can you walk?" Kevin grunts in pain as he silently nods as Virtue unlocks the cage with a successful Thieves Tools roll as the two sneaks out of the castle to find Lt Bucket with some stolen goods he found that may either prove useful or to sell for more gps. Collin was seen far away from Castle Ravenloft as it is presumed to be that the mists teleported him just outside as the party regroup then running off to find Madam Eva as she gives them fortune telling and hands out each party member 1 legendary item to aid them in their quest to defeat Strahd von Zarovich and his chosen bride Jenny von Zarovich.
Virtue was given the Holy Symbol of Ravenkind. Kevin was given the Sunsword. Lt Bucket was given +3 Longbow and 9 blessed arrows. Collin was given Scarab of Protection. Armed to the teeth, they were about to go back to kick some vampiric ass and take names but they were informed by Madam Eva that they should go to light a beacon that'll help them on the long run. We then heading off to where the DM marks the map.
(Cue 'LOTR Return of the King The Lighting of the Beacons' scene!)
[Session 5: Beacon of the Silver Dragon!]
We head out to The Temple of the Silver Dragon and lighten the beacon to gain +1 AC & saving throws as long the beacon stays lit. We'd been told by the DM that three events occurred after finishing beacon quest.
1: The Church of Saint Andral has been destroyed by Strahd's fireball as everyone there died of either burnt alive or killed by Strahd's minions.
2: Ireen's brother Ismark is kidnapped by Rahadin as he's been taken to Castle Ravenloft & the Village of Barovia has a new Burgomaster that keeps the entire villagers in line to offer tribute to Strahd.
3: The Burgomasters of Vallaki and Krezk are slain by Jenny and her small band of undead assassins. (Two Zombies and Skeletons with 3 lvls of Rogue class) Fiona Watcher assumes control in Vallaki as the village turns into full blown Strahd fanatics. Meanwhile Krezk is being torched by Jenny spamming fireballs at least five times to make her point on instilling fear into the hearts of anyone in Krezk who would dare challenge hers and Strahds rule.
We feel like the hopes of Barovia is slowly snuffed out one by one. As it became clear that we're the only ones fighting back against the count and his bride.
[Session 6: Have fun storming the castle!]
Our goal is set as we travel on foot (Kevin's Rustbucket was destroyed by Jenny) it took like 2 or 3 days making our way to Castle Ravenloft. As we reached near the castle, a sounds of screams is heard. "That's Ireena and Ismark!" Collin exclaim with his successful perception. "This is it... Remember the objective guys. Kill Strahd and Jenny!" said Virtue. "But what about Ireena and Ismark?" Lt Bucket asks if there's any hope of saving them. "I doubt about they're chance of survival. If i were Dracula, then he's gonna turn them into vampires." said Kevin in doubting tone. Turns out? He's right! Why? Because as soon we make it to the rooftop after killing off some undead minions & Rahadin who's been blocking our way, we find out right away after bashing down a locked door that the two Zaroviches was waiting for us as we fell into their trap!
A sound of wall crawling is heard as we all turned to see both Ireena and Ismark as Vampire Spawns. "She's my bitch now! A fitting irony isn't it? To be killed by someone you barely knew and couldn't be bothered to keep them safe?" Jenny von Zarovich said condescendingly with a cruel laughter. "Deal with them my love." Strahd said as he gets licked then kissed in the cheek by his bride before disappearing. "With pleasure."
Kevin quickly vomits at the sight of that happening. Collin feels both absolutely disgusted and betrayed by the woman he travels with. Bucket finds it kinky. As for Virtue? The Paladin ran to his target near at 20 feet as he pulls out the Holy Symbol of Ravenkind and yells "May the Morning Lord's wrath fall upon you traitorous harlot!" 5 charges spent for Sunlight effect as Jenny's skin starts boiling and her hair started burning. She hisses and casts Telekinesis to push my Holy object out from my hand as my character watching it falling all the way down as a loud glass shattered sound is heard. At that point i became angry both IC and OOC.
We managed to kill Ireena and Ismark, however Jenny is wounded and wasted all her spell slots escapes from us via Spider Climb (Vampire trait) as we debated weather to pursue her or travel back to Madam Eva to seek further guidance. I was the only one who voted to chase Jenny while everyone else voted speaking with Eva.
Martin: Last Session, see you all next week. *logs off*
Me: Ken. David. You guys are fucking cowards! We could've kill her before she recovers all her hp and spell slots. Now? It's all pointless! You let me lose my Holy Symbol of Ravenkind! The key to win over Strahd and Jenny! Such pussies man! You call yourselves men? Shame on you! If i were the DM you two be pimp slapped for such cowardice! Man up! Grow some backbone! You two are lucky that i'm not born as a Female, otherwise i would've castrated you both for ignoring an obvious logical choice of winning the game! A 5 year old is smarter than you two will ever be! Why do i even bother playing with a bunch of useless retards? Why God! Why me? WHY!?
(Cue random 'Rage Screaming Gamer' video)
I'm not too stupid to insult my dad. (Honor thy father) Ken and David were taken aback from my sudden rant of inventing my frustration of the situation. Everyone in MRRAL always seen me as 'Fun player with Autism who is always remain calm under bad circumstances' as tonight the two see the bad side of me. I hear my Dad coming to my room as i'm typing in a quick apology direct messages to the offended party. I spent 2 hours arguing with my Dad back and forth on my angry rant at 10:00 PM. Afterwards went to bed with tears in my eyes, sleeping in great sadness for my words brings pain not just to Ken & David, but to myself and my dad. (One week later me and dad reconcile)
[Session 7 the Finale: Ruination!]
Next week came by as my Dad was unable to attend due to disagreements between me and him. Martin asks if i'm feeling alright since he's been informed of what happened after he left.
Me: I took a chill pill. Sorry for me shouting at you Ken and David, you guys didn't deserve it. We're cool?
David: It's okay Johnny.
Ken: (Said nothing, just glaring at the webcam)
Martin: You guys want to continue? Johnny's father refuses to come play with us.
Me: Did he tell you why?
Martin: No. Do you?
Me: Yes. It's because we we're having disagreements last week. It started after Martin left. As i recalled you all want to go back visiting Madam Eva rather than chasing down and possibly put an end to Jenny to increase our chances of winning against Strahd.
David: Oh... crap! I was wrong to vote against you buddy.
Ken: I don't and i'm still standing by my decision. Probably your dad shared my sentiment.
Me: Why leave when we could've had her cornered and killed? My dad never gave me a straight answer. Will you tell me why Ken?
Ken: I'm not going to bother giving you my answer.
Me: Okay... Well... FUCK YOU!
I left the group call but not before hearing and seeing their reactions on my final say to Ken.
Martin: Woah! Woah! Woah! WTF Johnny!
David: Bruh! Not cool dude.
Ken: Tch... Your loss.
Martin posts his version of the Campaign ended in tragedy with me acting like a 'spoiled brat' as i would go on to write my version of how this Campaign should've ended as i've envisioned. Strangely enough though is that i'm still part of MRRAL facebook group despite the fact that both Ken and Martin hated me. Later i found out that It was Johnson and Thomas (Alive at the time) managing to convince Martin not to outright ban me as a sigh of relief came under my breath. Martin message me about inviting me to his 'Call of the Netherdeep' Campaign he's setting up in next year. I answered yes and formally apologize for my act at Ken.
Martin: Let Bygones Be Bygones.
Me: Agreed. Can you tell Ken that i'm deeply sorry?
Martin: I'll tell him that next time he shows up.
One month later Martin messaged me that Ken still holds a grudge against me, but was willing to play with me, David and 3 other players in the next Campaign...
My ending script: Evil triumphs! As Strahd prevails over 4 pesky Adventurers. Jenny is now officially married & rules with Strahd over Barovia forever. Ireena & Ismark died as Vampire Spawns. All 3 Villages submitted to the tyrannical rule of both Vampiric King and Queen. Virtue & Bucket died in their final battle against the Zaroviches. Collin fled from an unwinnable battle as he fell into deep insanity, spend rest of his days as a shell of his former self, begging off the streets and tries to spread the gospel of Selûne to rekindle hope as Collin meets his death by his former companion Jenny. Kevin is now the sole survivor after leaving Barovia by accepting Strahd's offer as he goes back to find his way home to reunite with Ben and Gwen Tennysons to resume their adventures of saving the universe from Vilgax.
TL;DR: Campaign ended on a sour note with me rage quitting on the group's voting decision that could've gone differently if we just find and kill my former PC instead of running from the problem. Reconciles & Let Bygones Be Bygones after one month. (AITA?)

We need a video game classic 2d fighter but all the characters are breadtubers and one of the stages needs to be coconut island with Marx sitting there on top of a pile of coconuts. Kinda like that stage in Mortal Kombat where the emperor is sitting on the throne. All the characters can have specials and finishing moves based on memes that are specific to them like Vaush can have an finisher where a horse comes in and kills the other guy and then Vaush starts staring anime heart eyes at the horse.

Like many people here, I’m upset with the price. Algorand has been one of the worst cryptos the past few months. And yes, I do feel some regret buying it.
I tried to “do my own research” and picked one alt coin to invest in. I decided on Algorand because of the amazing tech, promising partnerships, and super smooth user experience. The problem is: none of that matters! All that matters is network effects/community and Big Money. And both of those are basically impossible to predict. We don’t know which alt coin or meme coin will gather a massive community and take off. And we don’t know which coin some billionaire will decide to back next. All we can do is speculate which coin could get support…and it is honestly gambling. Coins in the top 50 are likely much safer than micro cap coins in the top 500, but it’s still just guessing which one will do best.
Thankfully my largest positions are in BTC and ETH. Those already have network effects, Big Money, and community so there is no guessing required. But picking alt coins is simply a gamble at this point.
Will Algorand bounce back? Yeah probably if there is another bull run. Even mostly dead coins did a solid 2 or 3x last run. So many of us could break even if we hold. But we may not get any kind of moonshot like we would if we picked other alt coins.
I hope I’m wrong and algo takes off someday. I am sticking with algo for the rest of 2023 and I’m comfortable with that risk. But after that it’s btc and eth only for me.
Despite my regret of betting on the wrong horse, I’ve come to a level of acceptance though. I made a bet and it doesn’t appear to have worked out. Thankfully I haven’t lose more than I can afford to lose and it’s certainly been a learning experience.
Cheers all 🍻

I tried to post this yesterday and got caught in some sort of automated spam filter that the mods couldn't reverse. So don't mind me, just adding some extra text so that the spam filter thinks that there is content here. Because there is! Lots of content. Check out all this content:
Ever since January, I've been a regular with genre magazines, and I've been reviewing them every month. I’ve settled on three publications to follow this year: my two favorites from 2022 and a third that has been a titan of the genre for decades. And after a solid-but-unexceptional April, May was my best month yet, with five pieces crowding my favorites list and plenty of others that were plenty rewarding.

Clarkesworld

I enjoyed almost all of what I read in April’s issue of Clarkesworld, but there wasn’t any one story that really struck me as hitting another level. That changed definitively with the opening piece in May’s issue: Better Living Through Algorithms by Naomi Kritzer. As the title suggests, it’s an “AI making people’s lives better” tale in the mold of Kritzer’s award-winning “Cat Pictures Please.” But whereas I—admittedly reading five years after it came out—found the latter a tad dated, I thought “Better Living Through Algorithms” was excellent. It shines an honest light on common struggles in contemporary life, but presents them in such a way that they feel surmountable. There’s also a real skepticism about the origin of the algorithm in question that resonates with changing societal attitudes since 2015, preventing the story from coming off as naive but without robbing its optimistic tone. This one was a real delight, and given past reception to Kritzer’s work, I’ll be surprised if it doesn’t resonate with a whole lot of people.
Harry Turtledove’s Through the Roof of the World is a fun experiment with perspective, told almost entirely from the perspective of sentient mollusk-like creatures trying to determine the origins of the disturbance above them. It was no real surprise when the answer was revealed, but the execution made it a fun read regardless, with the picture becoming clearer piece-by-piece up to the final conclusion.
The eye-catcher in this month’s table of contents is undoubtedly Suzanne Palmer’s novella-length Beyond the Botnet, featuring the return of Bot 9 and its compatriots from the Hugo-winning novelettes “The Secret Life of Bots” and “Bots of the Lost Ark.” I hadn’t been quite as wowed by the prior stories as the general sci-fi reading public, so I suppose it will come as no surprise that “Beyond the Botnet” wasn’t my personal highlight of the month. That said, it’s easy to see the appeal—Bot 9 is an incredibly endearing lead, and there were no barriers to an easy immersion. The novella length allows for an extended setup that shows off the absolute best of the bot characters, but the action-packed ending ran a little long for my tastes. I still enjoyed my time with the story, but the character-to-action ratio leans a bit more to action than I personally prefer.
Following the novella are five more short stories, four of them under 3,000 words. And while I sometimes struggle to connect at the lower end of the short story length category, I was very impressed by Rich Larson’s LOL, Said the Scorpion. It’s a story about tourism in impoverished communities that literalizes the metaphor of the invisibility of the local population, to dramatic effect. I’ve only read a few of Larson’s works, and I find he’s willing to go darker than I usually prefer, but here it absolutely works. And while I didn't recognize the meme title in advance, it sure fits.
Parker Ragland’s Sensation and Sensibility offers a bit of sci-fi slice-of-life, with a side of robot philosophy, telling simply of a pair of drones having tea and discussing the nature of sensation—both those they experience and the ones barred by their construction. It’s followed by Megan Chee’s The Giants Among Us, which gives brief and intriguing accounts of societies living on the backs of literal giants, tied together by a research effort to try to stop a long and bitter war.
The issue closes with Andy Dudak’s translation of An Hao’s Action at a Distance and with Jordan Chase-Young’s The Fall. The former features an encounter with a planet that warps perception in such a way that explorers inevitably crash and die before landing. It’s hard to describe entirely alien forms of perception, but the story makes a solid attempt, with enough plot to provide a driving motivation. Chase-Young’s piece is nearly as disorienting, a sci-fi/horror tale that sees the lead exploring the forested remnants of a dead Moon civilization. It’s an evocative narrative, laced with the uncanny and ambiguous.
This month’s letter from the editor takes a break from examining the dual crises of ChatGPT and Amazon’s rolling magazine subscriptions into Kindle Unlimited, instead sharing details of a successful call for Spanish-language submissions. This removes the burden on authors to commission their own translations, as the eight stories accepted will be translated into English by Clarkesworld. It’s another excellent step for a magazine with a deep commitment to inclusion of international sci-fi.
The essay provides a fascinating take on sci-fi and horror—so often opposite in the former’s rewards and the latter’s punishments for exploration and heroism—and how they can come together in fantastic ways. This month’s author interviews were with Premee Mohamed and Megan O’Keefe. I’ve read little of either, but I certainly came away looking for more opportunities to read Mohamed.

GigaNotoSaurus

One of the downsides of publishing just one story a month is that a publication can deliver fairly consistent excellence and still have me feeling like it’s been ages since I was really wowed. Fortunately, May’s GigaNotoSaurus story broke the small-but-long drought of three consecutive issues without hitting my favorites list, with the long short story Any Percent by Andrew Dana Hudson. Part litRPG, part union story, it tells of Luckless, a warehouse worker fleeing the hardship and tedium of real life by trying to speedrun his way to becoming the richest person in the world in a popular simulation game.
It opens with an engaging, albeit low-stakes account of the virtual exploration that earned him niche recognition as the discoverer of several time-shaving skips. But as life gets harder, his desire for virtual accomplishment only increases, leading down a predictable spiral in which his virtual persona becomes everything he hates in real life. It’s a really fascinating story, with enough of a dive into game mechanics to help the reader understand the strategy behind the main character’s pursuit, while keeping a firm enough foot in the real world to maintain the feel of a truly character-driven piece, with thematic weight but without eschewing that vital glimmer of hope.

Fantasy & Science Fiction

The May/June issue of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction was heavy on the shorter pieces, with just two novelettes compared to eight short stories and four flash fictions, in addition to the usual poetry and reviews. And perhaps unsurprisingly, given the breakdown, it was the short stories where I found my favorites.
The issue opens with an epistolary tale of pyramid exploration, Fawaz Al-Matrouk’s On the Mysterious Events at Rosetta. If you’re at all familiar with the subgenre, this story probably goes as you’d expect, but it’s an entertaining read nonetheless. It’s followed by one of the issue’s two novelettes: The Dire Delusion by Matthew Hughes. “The Dire Delusion” is a sort of magical whodunnit, with thieves waking up with their loot gone and no memory of anyone who might’ve taken it. As with many stories of this sort, I find that the list of suspects isn’t fleshed out well enough to be especially satisfying as a mystery, but Hughes introduces an entertaining world and keeps the story moving well enough to maintain the reader’s interest.
Next comes a pair of short stories about family in non-Western cultures, Kiran Kaur Saini’s Amrit and Lark Morgan Lu’s In Time, All Foxes Grieve Westward. The former involves an aging man receiving an AI in-home assistant, forcing him to confront both his deteriorating mind and body and his fraught relationship with his adult son. It’s another story that’s not especially hard to predict, but the excellent storytelling and character work make it well worth the read regardless. If you enjoy grumpy old men, this one is a gem. The latter features a fox who has immigrated to America and taken the form of a human, coming home to visit his dying mother and dealing with the fallout of the clash between his life and her expectations. I found it a little more difficult to immerse here than in “Amrit,” but I could certainly see this story hitting hard for those with more firsthand experience with the theme.
Smack in the middle of the issue were my two favorite stories from this edition of F&SF. A Conjure-Horse in San Ouvido by Ferdison Cayetano is a wonderful blend of mythologies and war stories, with a Black soldier leaving his island off the Carolinas to fight in the Philippines, where he not only finds some familiar magic, but that he may have more in common with the local population than with the American soldiers serving alongside him. It’s a story that leans into the mystical while still having some hard-hitting emotional passages and satisfying plot progression.
But for the third straight issue, my absolute favorite Fantasy & Science Fiction story was a near future sci-fi. Do I have a niche? Maybe. In the May/June issue, that honor went to Highway Requiem by T.R. Napper. Somewhat amusingly, “Highway Requiem” marked the third story I’d read in just the last couple months that focused on the post-automation trucking industry. But I loved Ray Nayler’s “The Empty,” and I loved this one, so I guess I’ll roll with the trucks as long as they’re working. Napper’s piece is neither neat nor happy, but it’s a deeply personal piece that explores so many nuances of both the social benefits and harms that come out of the transformation of transportation, while still managing to be the most emotionally affecting story I read all month. The worldbuilding is excellent, and the lead character so gripping that it’s easy to feel his yearning and anxieties. Excellent work.
The Lucky Star by Dr. Bunny McFadden provides a more lighthearted turn, with a short, fun piece about a queer bar on Titan. It is in turn followed by a more serious piece, Zig Zag Claybourne’s For the Benefit of Mr. Khite, featuring a being meant to serve as an intermediary between humans and various other artificial Intelligences. Very much a “learning to be human” story, it explores everything from physical sensation to a search for meaning in life.
I have so consistently struggled to engage with flash fiction that I wonder whether I should just note the existence of the flash pieces and move on, just like with the poetry and review sections. Maybe next time. For now, I’ll be brief with the issue’s four flash fictions: Time and Art by Barbara Krasnoff, I Paint the Light With My Mother’s Bones by K.J. Aspey, We Are Happy to Serve You by Margaret Dunlap, and Titan Retreat by Ria Rees. I probably resonated most with “Time and Art,” the longest of the four and also the most straightforward story, a parable-like tale about time and what we make of it. “I Paint the Light With My Mother’s Bones” is far and away the richest in metaphor and lyricism, with a girl in a transforming basement fighting off the dark, but by the same token, it was the hardest to grasp on the initial read. “We Are Happy to Serve You” is the shortest of the bunch, a small piece about automated food kiosks with a punchy ending. And “Titan Retreat” is a sometimes-poignant piece of character backstory that feels a bit incomplete on its own.
After the poetry and flash fiction, the issue returns to longer works for two final pieces. Knotty Girl by Melissa A. Watkins is a Black retelling of Rapunzel that leans into the unsettling elements. And the issue’s second novelette, A Truth So Loyal and Vicious by Fatima Taqvi, serves as an excellent capstone, with a folkloric story of prophecies and curses, the bond of sisterhood and a creature that trades magic for truth. Many of the themes are familiar, but they’re beautifully tied together.

May Favorites

• "A Conjure-Horse in San Ouvido" by Ferdison Cayetano (short story, F&SF)
• "Any Percent" by Andrew Dana Hudson (short story, GigaNotoSaurus)
• "Better Living Through Algorithms" by Naomi Kritzer (short story, Clarkesworld)
• "LOL, Said the Scorpion" by Rich Larson (short story, Clarkesworld)
• "Highway Requiem" by T.R. Napper (short story, F&SF)

You can also find this post on my blog, along with lots of novel reviews and a monthly round-up of short fiction I read outside my normal magazine rotation. (This was a great month there too, so I'm looking forward to writing up another post full of short fiction recs).

Even the meme stock king can't save this troubled company

• History may be about to repeat itself for Bed Bath & Beyond ($BBBYQ).
• Some speculate that noted investor Ryan Cohen could be gearing up to place a bid on the company.
• Even if Cohen takes Bed Bath & Beyond over, there’s no guarantee the retailer will become profitable again.

Once again, the future of Bed Bath & Beyond ($BBBYQ) is hanging on a thread. Last month, the home furnishing retailer declared bankruptcy after months of closing stores and watching shares plunge. After delisting from the Nasdaq, the company began trading over-the-counter (OTC) as BBBYQ stock. Shares have been highly volatile ever since.
Today, BBBYQ stock is rising as anticipation mounts around its upcoming stalking horse bid, scheduled for June 1. Part of the driving force behind this is the possibility of noted meme stock investor Ryan Cohen using the opportunity to take over the troubled company. However, this doesn’t mean investors should be buying shares.
What’s more, even if Cohen does throw his hat in the ring, there’s no guarantee he’ll be able to make Bed Bath & Beyond profitable again. Here’s why investors should still avoid BBBYQ stock, regardless of who’s at the helm.

What’s Happening With BBBYQ Stock?

While Bed Bath & Beyond did start the trading day off well, it’s proving very volatile. As of this writing, BBBYQ stock is up about 9% for the day, at one point reaching as high as 27 cents.
The current trajectory doesn’t seem sustainable. That said, BBBYQ has also been climbing over the past five days as momentum builds for the fast-approaching June 1 deadline.
Pan also notes that buyers will have until June 7 to make a final bid. This represents an opportunity for Cohen to potentially swoop in and help stabilize Bed Bath, as he once did before.
It’s easy to see why the retail traders still placing ill-advised bets on this unstable meme stock are excited. However, they shouldn’t forget that Cohen also helped tank BBBY stock when he offloaded his entire share in August 2022. While Cohen walked away with a profit of $68 million, retail traders were left holding the bag. The stock only fell further from there, ultimately losing its place on the Nasdaq.
As much as some meme stock investors want to see Cohen as their savior, they shouldn’t ignore the past. The famous investor may have helped the company once, but that doesn’t mean he can or will do it again. And even if Cohen does take it over, Bed Bath’s problems could easily continue.

What Comes Next?

BBBYQ stock is likely to keep rising as the stalking horse bid deadline approaches. But for investors, this is still a time to be careful, not to jump in with both feet. There’s just too much instability hanging over this company for it to be a smart investment, even with the current price of around 25 cents per share.
Today’s superficial momentum is commonplace for meme stocks. Investors need to accept the fact that Bed Bath & Beyond is done and it won’t be coming back.

The google doc with all jewel modifiers is here if you want to see all mods: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1NG-vM4FpJka4ZaK7EJtCUti_JfxEELroDewJnZ-mFJU/edit#gid=0
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We have played until endgame in the Gloomrot update on an official PvP server, and we had a blast in this game (we played 500 hours of this great game so far).
Here are the spell combos we have discovered to be very strong:
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#1 - Full PvP Shield Freezer

• Spells: Frost Dash, Frost Bat, Frost Barrier
• Jewels: Inflict freeze and shield caster on all 3 spells
• Playstyle: This build is insane in pvp, can even win 1v2 as you keep a guy permanently frozen. My duo is using this build and it is really effective. He was stuck inside a castle room during a raid and managed to win multiple 1v2 battles in a row. You can play really aggro and frontline with it due to the shield sustain. Nice with a greatsword for instance for chase and extra damage.

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#2 - Void Knight Area Spammer

• Spells: Void, Death Knight, Chaos Dash
• Recommended: 100% scholar
• Void Jewels:
  • Conjure 3 extra bombs that ignite
  • Consume ignite to deal extra damage OR give movespeed
  • Leaves behind fire AoE OR recharge rate
• Death Knight Jewels:
  • Fading snare on summon location
  • Hit summons skele mage
  • +%Damage
• Playstyle: This one is super obnoxious, and you can cast area spells behind cover, and it goes THROUGH counters. Void is great on PvE as well, so you don't sacrifice PvE clear. Fully aggressive as it has no healing, so bring heal potions as you can play for range really well.

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#3 - Classic PvE Blood Chaos Shooter

• Spells: Sanguine Coil and Chaos Volley OR Void
• Sanguine Coil Jewels:
  • Second projectile bounce
  • Lethal attacks restore 1 charge
  • Increase damage (also increases heal)
• Chaos Volley and Void Jewels:
  
• Recommended: Reaper weapon
  
• Playstyle: This build is quite popular for PvE as you can heal yourself and your team and do damage from range. The second projectile bounce jewel is very important if you solo PvE, as it can heal yourself for much more. Really good sustain in Silverlight city for instance, and in areas wtih many mobs due to restore charges on kill. You can PvP as well if you have good aim, and can heal on random mobs during the fight.
  

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#4 - Classic Unholy Ward Bosser

• Spells: Ward of the Damned and Chaos volley OR Void (if many enemies)
  • Increase movespeed
  • Extra block heal
  • Summon skele mage chance on block
• Chaos Volley and Void Jewels:
  
• Playstyle: Many bosses with harder mechanics can be made much easier with skeleton summons and counters, and ward of the damned is 2 in 1.
  

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#5 - Full Support

• Spells: Phantom Aegis, Blood Fountain, Illusion Dash
• Phantom Aegis Jewels:
  • Recast to pull player to you
  • Cast removes negative effects
  • Any of: Give movespeed, Give spellpower
• Blood fountain jewels:
  • Increase ally movespeed
  • Increase healing
  • Inflict fading snare OR Remove negative effects
• Playstyle: If you want to play back in fights, and have a partner that is really aggressive in pvp, this build can buff them insanely. Just spam shield and blood fountain on your teammate and enemy, and let him go ham. Phantom Aegis is cast on player from your cursor position btw. Recast to pull player to you can also help get him out of bad situations. Illusion dash is there in case players focus on you, as you can be slippery, and weaken them.

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#6 - Berserker

• Spells: Blood rage and Power Surge
• Recommended: 100% Warrior blood, Axes, Mace or Greatsword
• Blood Rage Jewels:
  • Increase movespeed
  • Increase phys power
  • Cast shield OR remove negative effects
• Power Surge Jewels:
  • Increase movespeed
  • Increase attack speed OR phys power
  • Cast shield OR remove negative effects
• Playstyle: Just run people down unga bunga

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#7 - Silencer Berserker

• Spells: Soulburn and Blood Rage with Double Chaos Dash
• Recommended: 1h Sword, Spear or Mace and 100% Warrior Blood
• Soulburn jewels
  • Increase silence duration
  • Increase life drain
  • Remove negative effects
• Blood Rage Jewels:
  • Increase movespeed
  • Increase phys power
  • Cast applies fading snare on enemies
• Playstyle: Jump on someone and silence him, pop soulburn and blood rage, and just auto attack for half his HP while he wonders why his buttons are not working. Note: While silenced your enemies cannot cast any spells NOR any weapon abilities, including simple primary attacks.

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#8 - Phantasm Stacker

• Spells: Spectral Wolf, Mosquito, Veil of illusion
• Recommended: 100% Scholar Blood
• Wolf jewels:
  • Hit consumes weaken to grant phantasm
  • Hit consumes weaken to grant shield
  • Hit returns to caster to heal
• Mosquito jewels:
  • Mosquite consumes weaken to reduce cooldown
  • Increase damage
  • Increase summon max HP and movespeed
• Veil of illusion jewels:
  • Next attack grants phantasm
  • Next attack grants shield
  • Recast to explode at location and apply weaken
• Playstyle: With so many phantasm stacks and scholar blood, you can literally spam spell constantly if you hit, and be slippery with the mosquito fear and illusion dash. The wolf is pretty good in 1v2 situations, as it bounces between people. Good for solos.

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#9 - Storm Rusher Amp

• Spells: Discharge, Cyclone, Unholy Dash
• Discharge jewels:
  • Travel second time ability
  • Passing through an enemy consumes Static for the next 3 primary attacks within 6s to deal damage (23 - 40%) and apply Static
  • Increase damage
• Cyclone:
  • Consume static to apply stun
  • Increase damage
  • Projectile range and speed
• Playstyle: This build is about amplifying attacks using static and unholy dash, and dealing damage. Cyclone is a lot of DPS if you have the skill to manipulate the hits to land them on a player.

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#10 - Necromancer Roleplayer

• Spells: Corrupted Skull, Bone Explosion, Veil of bones
• Corrupted Skull jewels:
  • Hit on enemy summons skele mage
  • Hit on allied skeleton summons explosion
  • Extra 2 projectiles
• Bone explosion
  • Heals and resets skeletons
  • Fading snare
  • Decrease cooldown
• Veil of bones jewel:
  • Dashing though skeletons heals and resets them
  • Agony
  • Bane
• Playstyle: This is a meme build, but really fun in open world playing the minigame "how many skeletons can I summon at once"

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# 11 - Lightning Swapper

• Spells: Polarity Shift and Mist Trance
• Recommended: Great for 3v3 and 4v4s
  • Polarity Shift jewels:
    • Increase projectile range and speed
    • Hit conjures AoE at target location
    • Hit applies fading snare
  • Mist trance:
    • Increase range
    • Fear enemies
    • Increase movespeed for 3s
• Playstyle: In big fights you can swap an enemy into your teammates to chomp, and then exit using mist trance counter.

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# 12 - Spear Chaser

• Spells: Chaos Double Dash, Wraith Spear and Power Surge (or Blood Rage)
• Recommended: 100% Rogue Blood (for move speed), 1h Sword + 2h Sword (for catch combo), good 11 speed undead horse always with you
• Wraith Spear jewels:
  • Hit applies fading snare
  • Increase projectile range
  • Hit grants allies a shield (if in party) OR increased damage (if solo)
• Power Surge OR Blood Rage jewels:
  
  • Move speed
• Alternatives: Mutant or creature blood can also work, mutant blood has massive shapeshift speed
  
• Tips: Bind your ability cancel button to middle mouse button to easily cast wraith spear behind you and cancel it for an extra dash in front (it stops the spear animation)
  
• Playstyle: If you are confident in PvP and just want to minimize chances of players escaping, going full move speed can pay off. I don't think anyone can outrun this build if the guy knows what he is doing as you have 3 dashes.
  

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More builds imported from the folks at the Dojo. These are the top vrising pvp builds right now.
# 13 - Iceblocker

• Spells: Iceblock, Discharge, Ice Dash
• Iceblock Jewels:
  • Next 6s primary attack chills and damages
  • Conjure freeze AoE on iceblock end
• Discharge Jewels
  • Trigger to travel second time
  • Consume static to imbue next 3 attacks
  • Increase damage
• Playstyle: This build has good sustain due to iceblock heal, and the freeze and storm effects can be used to great effect by experienced players. This build is best used with many weapon styles at once, in 1v1 battles. In multiple player battle the iceblock shield and heal might get overpowered though.

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#14 - Mosquito Swapper

• Polarity Shift, Mosquito, Illusion Dash
• Polarity Shift Jewels:
  • Projectile range and speed
  • Hit fading snare
  • Hit consumes static to imbue weapons
• Mosquito Jewels
  • Extra HP and speed
  • Summon 3 heal wisps
  • Increase damage
• Playstyle: This is an obnoxious build that cancels, fears, and switches positions with your enemy, and deals damage all throughout. Surprisingly, polarity shift with 2 charges deals decent chip damage, and you can be slippery and also stack phantasm stacks. You can also polarity shift onto a mosquito to reposition, or you can cast mosquito on your feet and then swap.

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#15 - Void Mosquito

• Spells: Void, Mosquito, Illusion Dash
• Recommended: 100% scholar
• Void Jewels:
  • Conjure 3 extra bombs that ignite
  • Consume ignite to deal extra damage OR give movespeed
  • Leaves behind fire AoE OR recharge rate
• Mosquito Jewels:
  • Extra HP and speed
  • Summon 3 heal wisps
  • Increase fear duration
• Playstyle: This is like a more safe version with less damage of the Void Knight build. The mosquito fear makes it much easier to land subsequent void and weapon abilities. Has extra healing due to spawned heal wisps, and the illusion package can allow even more phantasm stacks. This is a more defensive Void spam for situations where you feel like taking damage.

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#16 - Necromancer Knight

• Spells: Corrupted Skull, Death Knight, Illusion Dash
• Corrupted Skull jewels:
  • Hit on enemy summons skele mage
  • Hit on allied skeleton summons explosion
  • Extra 2 projectiles
• Death Knight
  • Summons skele mage
  • Fading snare
  • Increase damage, or Agony
• Playstyle: If you want to focus on player killing, you need DK to stay up on damage. Use illusion dash for phantasm stacks and being slippery, hiding behind your skeletons. Skele mages are much stronger than normal skeletons. Can make for some interesting fights, although this build is not optimal for pvp.

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#17 - Shield Knight

• Spells: Phantom Aegis, Death Knight, Chaos Dash
• Recommended: 100% warrior or 100% brute
• Aegis Jewels:
  • grab Effective HP
• Knight Jewels:
  • as above
• Playstyle: This build plays like a berserker, and it abuses the massive shield of aegis. It needs good jewels, but once you have them, it feels like you take no damage, while dealing a lot of damage in return. As a bonus, aegis can be placed on a team mate too, so it has that versatility.

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#18 - Cancer Lancer

• Spells: Crystal Lance, Ice Block, Frost Dash, Arctic Leap ultimate
• Recommended: good blood, potions
• Crystal Lance Jewels:
  • Cast rate
  • Projectile range and speed
  • Damage to chilled or frozen
• Ice Block Jewels:
  • Inflict chill on attackers
  • Conjure nova on effect end
  • Imbue weapon with ice
• Playstyle: This build has insane frost combos. You can 100-0 people with good blood and potions with combos like: 1 hit freeze + ice lance + arctic leap + axe stun + spear combo = DEAD

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#19 - Ultra Chaser
Spells: Lightning Curtain, Power Surge, Chaos Dash

• Recommended: 100% Rogue blood
• Lightning Curtain Jewels:
  • Movespeed
  • Hit applies snare
  • Apply shield
• Power Surge Jewels:
  • Movespeed
  • Increase duration
  • Apply shield OR damage/atk speed
• Playstyle: You can literally outrun horses with this build. Pop a curtain, go through it, hit them hard, then disengage and wait for your cooldowns and use corssbow or pistol from range. Curtain is valuable in group play as well, as it can buff entire team. Curtain allows shooting projectiles, but blocks enemy projectiles. You can even move so fast you can go behind a player with a barrier up and incapacitate them with slashers.

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#20 - Zip-Zap
Spells: Polarity Shift, Discharge, Illusion Dash, Merciless Charge

• Polarity Shift Jewels:
  • Inflict fading snare
  • Increase projectile range and speed
  • Consume static to imbue weapon
• Discharge Jewels:
  • Travel once more
  • Increase damage
  • Increase movespeed while channeling
• Illusion Dash
  • next attack fading snare
  • next attack 4 phantasm stacks
  • next attack consumes weaken to gain shield
• Playstyle: This build abuses the crap out of positional shifts and phantasm stacks. You literally zip-zap all over the place with all your abilities, with good iframes and becoming hard to hit, while dealing chip damage all around. This build is not even a joke build, it is tested in 1v1 duels and works really well if you have the skill to pilot it.
• Showcase video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1H9p68Hx54

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Any other effective spell setups you guys have found?
I know there are some lightning curtain builds for 3v3s and 4v4s, but we only played 2v2 so we haven't tested it.

Twelve years.

One year more and people younger than /Polandball will be legally permitted to become subscribers of this community. That's how long this subreddit has been around.
On this day, a dozen years ago, a Serbian user named 767 decided to create a little subreddit called /Polandball. At first, this subreddit was just a place for him to repost comics from Krautchan and 4chan but over time the subreddit grew, passing over half a million subscribers and counting. Over the years, the subreddit has had a growing and varying moderator team but two moderators and community members were the most instrumental in making the subreddit into what it is today, both of whom have unfortunately passed away.
brain4breakfast was one of the most active members during the early days of the subreddit, ultimately drawing over 130 comics. Among those was his Adventures of the [Letter] Countries series as well as the World Map, which grew from his solo project in 2014 into a subreddit-wide yearly collaboration. Moreover, he ran an amazing and informative educational YouTube channel, one that has reached over 200,000 subscribers by now.
javacode was the engine keeping the subreddit running, the programmer giving us the automated flairs, the contests, the events, the rules and so much more. He did so many things for this subreddit that we tend to take for granted. He worked tirelessly for his love of the subreddit, every day of the week, every week of the month and every month of the year. His work and influence cannot be overstated. It's hard to imagine someone like him ever coming along again.
Both of them were significant figures and people in making the subreddit into what it is today. Their memory has not been forgotten. Since then, a new generation has continued from where they left off and what they left behind, to ensure that their work would forever be worth it all.
/Polandball has lived through the lifecycle of a lot of memes, something it was once considered to be. However, through these twelve years of active and hard work, the concept of wiggly mouse-drawn comics representing different countries, their stereotypes and "international drama" has become something more than just another meme.
Here's to another twelve years of content with higher quality standards.
Here's to another twelve years of various members of the community across the globe drawing comedic flag spheres.
Here's to another twelve years of collaboration and community.
Here's to another twelve years of /Polandball.
Thank you.
In celebration of this anniversary, we've decided to hold a new Official /Polandball Survey, found here! The survey is entirely anonymous and everyone is encouraged to participate.
The survey will be up for one week, with the results coming after.
Moreover, to celebrate and keep ourselves relevant, many members of the moderator team have selected favorite comics spanning much of Polandball's illustrious history. Click on each moderator's name to visit what they consider one of the best comics Polandball has to offer:

• AndyRedditor
  
• bananasAreViolet
  
• ChickenScuttleMonkey
  
• DickRhino
  
• GateNerd
  
• jackson_games_cb
  
• jesus_stalin
  
• VorsprungOfficial
  
• jPaolo
  
• AaronC14
  
• polandball_lover