Flatheads, blue cats, channels, and more! We welcome them all here at catfishing!
A subreddit to discuss and explore the dating process and learn from the experiences of others
A community for discussing the Hinge dating app. Request a profile review, ask for advice, get help, or share your experiences with Hinge. This subreddit is unofficial and we are not affiliated with or represent Hinge in any official capacity.
After Game 2, Many Lakers fans are wondering how the Lakers failed to get 1 game in the entire series. The answer is fairly straightforward: They got exposed in key areas.
The Denver Nuggets won the series by taking advantage of 3 or 4 key areas
1) They exposed the fact that the Lakers have next to no Transition Defense and Perimeter Defense. The Lakers only excelled in interior defense (ALL by AD Himself)
2) Our 3-pt shooting is average and very low volume. There were games where we only had 6-8 made 3's
3) They attacked mismatches, Jamal Murray and Bruce Brown would always take the switch on D'LO and score on him
4) The adjustments came too late in the series (Coaching Diff)
The #1 Lakers Defensive rating was being carried by AD's historic defensive performance.
The Miami Heat's strengths are the Lakers greatest weaknesses
1) They are good-to-great in transition defense
2) They are the #1 offense in the playoffs and #1 in 3-pt shooting. When was the last time, the Lakers made 17 threes in a playoff game?
3) Erik Spolestra is a genius and has mastered the zone defense and adjustments
4) Better Help-defense. When Duncan Robinson is on the floor, He has usually hit shots this post-season which justifies playing him when he is a defensive liability
Miami still has weaknesses and those include: Thier Lack of Size and 3-pt shooting dependent
The Lakers were not the better team.
Calling all Gale Defenders!
I know right away this is not going to be a popular post - and that’s fine! But as someone who appreciates the character of Gale Hawthorne, the amount of hate that is thrown his way is deeply upsetting. (And yes, this is ultimately in response to a recent Gale-hate post lol)
I am hoping to start a conversation about his merits and positive qualities that make his character more well-rounded than many people seem to perceive. I have no idea how long this post will be so apologize in advance.
PS - if you have only watched the movies, I already don't care about your Gale take. sorry not sorry!
- Gale did not kill Prim.
Did Gale help create the bombs that killed Prim? Probably. Did Gale decide to kill Prim? No
. Arguing anything else is ridiculous.
Did Gale know that innocent people would die at the hands of his bombs? Yes, of course, but they were literally fighting a war. He didn’t know they would be used against medics and children, and was clearly upset when Katniss asked if the bomb were his. After the war, Gale arguably left for District 2 because he knew Katniss wouldn’t want to see him and understood she needed space to heal and grieve - even though Katniss herself acknowledges that Gale is not at fault for Prim’s death.
Anyone still using the “Gale killed Prim” defense is just creating their own narrative because they don’t like him, and I stand firm on this.
It’s made clear in the narrative that Coin killed Prim
, and would have found another way to kill Prim if it wasn’t for the bombs anyway. She needed Katniss in the palm of her hand, and convincing Katniss that it was the Capitol that killed Prim was Coin’s goal - so she could keep Katniss in check and on her side.
- You don’t need to pit Gale and Peeta against each other.
Gale himself admits that Peeta is a likable guy and wishes it was harder to dislike him - and Peeta is often jealous of Gale.
The truth of it is that Gale and Peeta have had vastly different life experiences. Gale is a man of color, living in the Seam, whose father has died, who has had to help raise his three younger siblings alongside his mother, who has been risking his life to hunt in the woods to provide for them, who had to watch helplessly as the closest person in his life fought in the Games, and had to watch first hand as his home was completely obliterated.
Peeta is a white man who lived in town and was abused by his mother growing up and suffered deep trauma from the Hunger Games.
Their lives are different. They have different motivations. Peeta is not trying to keep his entire family alive, and does not have to risk his life in the woods or the mines. Gale wasn’t reaped and didn’t have to experience the brutality of the Games.
By pitting them against each other, you
are the one feeding into the love triangle narrative.
- Gale’s main motivation is NOT “ending up with Katniss”.
I am so confused at all the comments I see about Gale prioritizing his “romance” with Katniss during her post-Games experience and manipulating her to be with him. What?!?! Did we read the same books!? Yes, they kiss a few times. He kisses Katniss before she leaves for her Victory Tour, and that confuses her, but to be fair to Gale (which many of you are not…), he says he only wanted to do it once. Katniss is the next one to initiate any kisses with Gale - and even tells him that she wants to run away with him (which is what prompts Gale to admit he loves her - he likely would not have said this to her if she hadn’t suggested they run away together).
Secondly, Katniss is the narrator. Again - Katniss is the narrator
. Basically everything we see with Katniss and Gale is coming from Katniss. She uses Gale as a distraction (see: Mockingjay) and Gale acknowledges time and time again that Katniss only is interested in him when he’s hurting.
Gale kept her family alive while she was in the Games, and they have been some of the most important peoples in one another’s lives since they were 12 and 14. There is a lot of trust between the two of them as they have a deep interwoven history. That doesn’t mean he is constantly trying to romance her or pull her away from Peeta - he doesn’t like that Katniss is putting on a show for the Capitol with Peeta, but to some extent he does understand it.
Thirdly, see point four.
- Gale has suffered the brutality of the Capitol just like everyone else.
Yes, Katniss had to fight in the Games. That is horrible and there’s no taking away from that. But don’t forget that Gale was raised in District 12, also lost his father to the mine collapse, has been raising his 3 siblings alongside his mother through illegal hunting, and was whipped publicly in the square. And then was there when the entire District was bombed! He is one of the sole reasons there were even any survivors.
To say he has “no regard for human life” isn’t entirely true - he’s fighting against the Capitol, who routinely sent children to their death and displayed it on television - and then firebombed his district so hundreds (if not thousands?) of people died. He knows the enemy, and understand that there is no rule book here.
His main motivations are not “being with Katniss” - he loves Katniss, and makes that very clear, and yes he Does want to be with her. But his main motivation is taking down the Capitol. Katniss even wants to run away with him at one point and he says no, I’m staying here. He chooses the fight over Katniss, and while he does prioritize her, I would argue she is not his main priority.
Anyway, onto some other things…
- Gale is a caretaker.
Is he angry? And full of fire and rage? Yes. Does he have a family that he loves and would do anything to protect? Also yes. He looks after them from the moment his father dies. He looks after Katniss’s family as if they were his own.
- Gale helped save people from District 12.
I mentioned this above, but without Gale stepping up as a leader during the bombing there likely would have been many more lives lost.
- Gale is not selfish.
This argument never makes sense to me. Everything he does is either for Katniss or for the cause. He helps carry Lady to Prim because he’s excited to see the look on her face. He drags Prim away from the Reaping because she’s screaming and he’s trying to protect Katniss. He takes care of her family while she’s away. He hunts for his own family, and sells in the Hob. He doesn’t return to District 12 after the war - and the argument for why can be debated, but it’s implied in the book that he is giving Katniss space (there is likely his own trauma involved too).
- Gale never pressures Katniss.
“I know you just killed children in the Games but like can we make out and also what are we lol” ?!??!?!? ha ha ha you're very funny, fandom! Gale has Never said or acted Remotely like this is true but the fandom is hellbent on assigning this narrative to him. He is jealous of what Katniss had to do to survive, yes, but Katniss admits that she would be jealous if the roles were reversed and Gale had to do the same to survive.
He never asks to define their relationship - he understands Katniss has to present as a couple to the Capitol with Peeta, even if he doesn't like it and makes that known. He doesn’t accept the gloves that she gives him - and he makes a comment about them being her fiancé’s, but ultimately rejects them because they’re from the Capitol (not because they’re associated with Peeta - they’re Cinna’s anyway). He kisses her once before her Victory Tour, and tells her he loves her after she says she wants to run away with him.
Other than that, Katniss kisses Gale after his whipping and many times in Mockingjay - For Her Own Benefit and Distraction. Please find me a quote in which Gale is pressuring Katniss into a relationship or a kiss or something she doesn’t want to do with him and I’ll step down, but this argument is frankly bullshit to me.
- Gale’s mindset - his anger and rage and the choices he makes that stem from those feelings - is both a narrative device, and true to how many people in the Districts would feel about the Capitol.
Yes, Gale has brutal viewpoints when it comes to the Capitol. ‘I would press a button a kill everyone in the Capitol’ is something he says and he doesn’t think twice about it. But he has also lived his entire life in the clutches of an oppressive regime. He’s never traveled to the Capitol like Katniss has, has never met people from the Capitol who have shown him kindness, has no reason to believe that anyone there actually cares about anyone in the districts. AND HE JUST WATCHED HIS ENTIRE DISTRICT FIREBOMBED TO DEATH.
It’s propaganda. You have fallen for the propaganda (just as Gale did). The Capitol has done everything to keep the Districts and the Capitol apart from one another, and Gale has fed into this belief on the District side of things just like the people in the Capitol feed into it on their side of things. He was raised this way - on top of the brutality of surviving in the Seam.
So to wrap this post - it’s fine that you don’t like him. Genuinely. But you can’t say that he killed Prim, because he didn’t.
And if you want to argue that he’s selfish, you have to give some reasons other than his feelings for Katniss. And if you don’t like this paragraph, then you should reread the books and consider Gale’s point of view for maybe the first time in your read-through.
Ultimately, I don't expect to have changed anyone's mind here lol, but as someone who genuinely loves Gale and understands where he's coming from with a lot of his decisions - to see the hate is super disheartening.
Lastly - not that it really matters, but this reddit page makes me think I should say it anyway - I adore Peeta, and am glad that he's the one Katniss ultimately ended up with. I agree that Gale and Katniss wouldn't work on a romantic level long term. That doesn't make me hate him though, lol. y'all are wacky.
I know there are other Gale fans out there like me - so this one's for us! What are some of your favorite moments from Gale? Favorite traits? What has kept you from hating his character?
Hello, I'm in a scary situation. I will try to keep the details as short as possible. I've consulted a lawyer to stay on stand by and a psychologist on this problem as it develops. To make a long story short, I've never known this person except online. My gf made me block her, she became extremely offended, I readded her on a different account, gf became curious again, made me block her on that account. After this, the friendship ended, but her hatred of me did not. She would continue on a rampage of voicemails and messages telling me how I hurt her. Her whole family hates me for what I did to her since it traumatized her how she felt used. I am at complete fault for how I hurt her, but there's no going back.
Well, after a couple of years I did some stalking. Turns out she and her two sisters are moving to my city after she's marrying a guy here. I quickly became scared, so I sent her a message, hopefully to try and make amends for all the hurt. She in return wrote me a nasty horrible message and blocked me like I did her. All of her sisters did as well, her parents and her sister's fiance. Now I'm left really scared. That's like 9 people.
I can't go around, in my own city/state, walking on eggshells. She enjoys the same things I do, will go to the same events. We can avoid each other in the same areas, sure, but how do I know I won't be confronted or embarrassed in public I am terrified of confrontation. What if she calls me a stalker for going to the same events? I have no idea what she will do since I have never met her in real life.
Any advice would help me out so much and my mental health. Thank you all so much
TLDR: girlfriend lied to me and I confronted her. She gave me a half assed answer which didn’t line up. Idk if she’s hiding something or didn’t want me to freak out over a new guy “friend”.
So for context we’ve been dating for about a year and have gotten pretty comfortable with each other. We always talk about things going on but I noticed my gf lied to me yesterday.
So yesterday I was working from 11-7 and I was supposed to stop by after work before going home. She told me later on to stop by around 8 because she would be trying to do homework before that. I didn’t see an issue and ended up working till like 7:30(because they asked). I then stopped by for a little while and them went home as if everything was good.
I know she has me restricted on her insta stories but she acts like its a bug. Today one of my buddies sent me a screenshot of her story and it was another dude laying on her bed(clothed) w sushi and the caption (thank you @ ). It was dated for about an hour before I was allowed to show up the day before. She had told me that she hadn’t eaten besides breakfast and so she made us food when i got there. She also said she did nothing and was home alone all day.
I just called her up after her shift and waited until a break in the convo to ask. I basically said “did you have anyone over yesterday?” And she said no. I said it was weird because my friend saw someone around our age leaving your house. Long story short she gave me the answer of it being her friends, guy friend, and that he was just there to pick up her vape body from my girlfriend.
She then got a lil nervous in the way she was speaking. I tried moving on in the convo and she brought us back to that. She also joked “yes I am cheating on you” with a “just kidding” shortly following.
I’m not sure what to feel. I want to be angry that she was lying to me as she has explained she would do that. I don’t want to cause any arguments but I feel unconcluded. On her end maybe she didn’t want me overthinking that a guy “friend” was having food with her. But I would have felt better if she had told me.
I’m going to chill for now because I have trust in her about our relationship. Any thoughts are appreciated.
My ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend and he’s been texting me, trying to get me to meet up with him behind her back. I would love to let her know and lowkey kinda ruin their relationship? For context; throughout my relationship with him he was a huge asshole to me. Especially ruined relationships that I had. We were still talking to each other when he started dating her and i didn’t know. I have at least 50 screenshots of him texting me while being with her and so much shit it’s ridiculous. If anyone can try to help me get back at him that’d be great lol.
Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/ReddXReads/comments/13lfqkw/vulturebeard_the_legbeard_that_ruined_roomies_fo Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/ReddXReads/comments/13u79ht/vulturebeard_bad_roomies_part_2/ Hi again, it’s the bunny. I’ve just barely stepped into Reddx’s discord, but Ezekial is still posting this saga for me so thank you, Z. Trigger warning: This will deal with a lot of aspects relating to child neglect (and possible abuse) and Kid being ignored or taking the brunt of Vulture’s anger. Sorry for the spoiler as well, but I think we saw this coming, too (especially if you’ve seen Z talk in the discord). Don’t push yourself to read if you’re not okay with these concepts. The Cast List Bunny (author)
: 33, female. Recovering lifelong doormat slowly building a spine. Neuro spicy gym rat with major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder, and most recently diagnosed with ADHD. Unfortunately, very familiar with surviving trauma. Z (poster)
: My partner. 31, nonbinary (they/them), also neuro spicy with depression, anxiety, OCD, BPD, autism, and also familiar with lifelong trauma. One Liner Beard (OLB)
: 33, male, neuro spicy with ADHD and depression. His nickname here comes from the fact that in messenger, he usually has one-word replies like “oof” or “mmm” as an acknowledgement he had seen the message but has nothing further to contribute. VultureBeard (Vulture)
: 30, female, neuro spicy and disabled with multiple conditions. She has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, POTs (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), autism, depression, anxiety, chronic migraines, but also possibly a list of things that may or may not be real. The star of this unfortunate circus. Her name comes from how she always pops up when I’m cooking food, complaining about how hungry is and how she’s unable to cook. Kid
: 3. Female. OLB and Vulture’s child. Likely neuro spicy like we all are, but she’s also only 3 years old. Slightly speech delayed and not potty trained yet. Take a deep breath. Now take another one. This chapter will likely make you mad.
Chapter Three: “Do You Want Bologna?” Or, Vulture as a Parent Imagine this
: it’s eight in the morning and you’re cozy in bed. The blankets are warm, and you hit snooze on your early alarm so you can sleep in before you have to get up.
Your peace is shattered by a toddler crying, followed by the screech of, “WHAT!”
or “GET DOWN FROM THERE!”
Yeah, welcome to The Life
Vulture has a messed-up sleep schedule. It’s partially because Kid doesn’t sleep soundly through the night, but it’s also because Vulture’s sleep schedule is essentially flipped backwards to where she stays up all night and wants to sleep during the day. Vulture says it’s “insomnia” but sometimes she’s up late gaming with Discord friends or watching anime. I couldn’t tell you which issue it was day by day. Sometimes if I go to sleep late, I hear Kid crying from her room because she had night terrors or had potty troubles. Sometimes I hear OLB and Vulture awake shuffling between rooms in the hallway.
Because of this, Vulture and mornings don’t mesh well. Kid is usually put in her room for bedtime around 7 PM, usually with her tablet to keep her company and either give her something to watch, or to play white noises for sleeping. Kid does not have a real sleep routine as well. She’s just kind of shut in her room. Sometimes there’s a bit of a routine like winding her down with chocolate milk and giving her a countdown of “okay, ten more minutes and then bedtime,” but for the most part she just does not want to go to bed. Bedtimes are met with a lot of crying, and the beardy parents telling us that she will be upset for a bit.
Kid has an attempted daily schedule, if Vulture is awake enough. Theoretically
- 9 AM: Awake and watching TV while Vulture is on her computer in the same room
- 1 PM: In the room for naptime (but it’s usually play time)
- 4 PM: Free to run around while dad is home
- 7 PM: Bedtime (but she’s usually playing then too)
But a lot of times, that schedule gets thrown out of whack depending on if Vulture gets up on time. When she sleeps in, Kid is in her room from 7 PM to 1 PM. Sometimes Kid will make a fuss to make Vulture get up earlier than 1 PM, and Vulture will be grouchy because she “went to bed at four in the morning” because she either had “insomnia” (read: gaming or watching anime) or because Kid wouldn’t sleep. Or Vulture will be up to take care of Kid and make sure she is in a clean pull up and has eaten. Then she shuts her into her room and goes back to sleep. Sometimes if Kid is too much of a handful, Vulture will say, “It’s 12:45. That’s close enough to 1.” And put Kid in the room because that’s close enough to nap time.
Sometimes because Kid won’t go to sleep, she’ll still be up at 9 PM and that breaks her schedule too. A lot of times, it works out that OLB is the “fun” parent while he’s home, because he’s up at 4 AM to leave for work by 6 and doesn’t come home until between 4 or 5 PM. Then she spends time with him while he’s home.
There’s also a child lock on the inside of Kid’s bedroom door, those doorknob covers that you have to push and turn, so she can’t open the door and wander around unsupervised. I was originally the one who suggested the child lock, back when she was younger, and they didn’t have the secondary child gate they currently do now that’s stored in the garage. Since then, with her potty training and Vulture’s likewise awful sleep schedule, I’ve suggested more than once that they take the door handle blocker off and put up the second kiddy gate they have to block the living room and kitchen off, so she can get up if she needs to, but the child lock still remains. At most, she would have access to their room, since it doesn’t have a kiddy lock on it. Me and Z’s bedroom has a child lock on it, as well as the bathroom door. She could freely wander between her room and her parents’ room that way.
I hear Kid playing in her room by herself a lot
, squealing and having fun and playing pretend. Or moving her furniture around. And no, the furniture is not secured to the wall, so she can move her bed around the room. I’ve also told OLB and Vulture they needed to make sure she can’t topple it and chain it to the wall but, yeah, that hasn’t been dealt with.
When Kid really needs attention, she will cry and wail. And I mean wail
. The two beardy parents don’t have baby monitors or anything that can hear into her bedroom, so she has to wail loudly enough to be heard through the walls. Luckily, the house has thin walls. Because of her early bedtime, she’s often awake early in the morning. Sometimes Vulture will respond, sometimes Vulture won’t wake up until around noon. Yes, that means Kid is by herself a lot.
Kid is a bubbly three-year-old. She loves it when Z and I give her attention, which admittingly isn’t as often as I would like to give her. With my own Depression™
, I spend so much time fighting to just gather enough mental energy to be a productive human. Despite me wandering in a mental fog, Kid remains a bright spot in my day. I met her when she was a fresh baby bean just barely out of the hospital, and I immediately fell in love. Since then, I’ve seen her grow almost her whole life, except for when they were all in north Texas. She has blue eyes and brown hair that will curl on its own. She loves dinosaurs, Baby Shark, Octonauts, and occasionally whatever anime the parents are watching. Don’t ask me how many times I’ve heard the Baby Shark song. I don’t want it stuck in my head for another solid week.
She used to watch a lot of Ms. Rachel’s Songs For Little videos, because originally Vulture wanted Kid to learn sign language to help communicate. I’ve rarely seen Vulture attempt to upkeep the sign language lessons. She did at one point. I think after Kid started becoming more vocal, the idea was dropped. I have heard some of the familiar videos so often that even I learned the kid’s songs, but I guess that’s also part of the collateral when dealing with kid’s media.
Kid usually exists in a half-dressed state, usually just wearing a pull up and that’s it. Unfortunately, because Vulture is so hard on her tangles when she tries to brush her hair, Kid doesn’t like hair care and will fight being brushed. Her hair used to exist in a perpetual state of being matted with at least one major knot, until Vulture’s mom ended up giving her a bath and getting her to stay still enough to endure the brushing, even with the wailing of a protesting Kid going strong. Her hair was then cut to make it more manageable, and strangely, that fixed a lot of the matting problems.
Kid is let out of her room when Vulture wakes up, usually needing a diaper change. At three years old, Kid is not potty trained yet. Just from what I’ve heard from my bedroom, it sounds like OLB and Vulture are finally starting to step up on potty training, but it’s been an uphill fight. I know a few of my other parent friends have had an extremely hard time potty training their kid. I’m not a parent, so I don’t actually know how challenging it can be. I do know though that it shouldn’t sound like the toilet is some kind of punishment for peeing in her cloth panties that they’re trying to switch her to. Or, that they try to get her to sit on the toilet when she has no interest in it and she ends up throwing a tantrum. Unfortunately, without much context, that’s how some bathroom trips sound.
Kid wears pull-ups to bed and the cloth underwear during the day, or sometimes just pull-ups. They’re trying to teach her how to recognize when her body has the potty urge, which she still doesn’t quite get right now. She has literally peed on the tile floor through her cloth undies. Vulture messaged the house chat once saying, “Kid just lifted her leg while in the rolling chair and peed all over the floor.
You know. Like a dog
With the potty-training trouble and Kid only sometimes in pull-ups that can contain her mess, Z and I don’t let her into our room as often as we’d like to, because she doesn’t recognize when she has to go. It sucks, because Kid adores spending time with us and our room has cool animals, like my retired psychiatric service dog and our three ferrets. She loves the ferrets. But if we spend time out in the living room with everyone, Z’s patience tends to have a shorter fuse because they can’t stand Vulture (that’s also another tale I have
). We’re also stuck out in the general mess of the living room if we are out there with her. It’s either the general mess that toddlers make, spilled food, and general filth. The best times we’ve had spending time with Kid is just chilling in our room as she ooh’s and ahh’s
over the ferrets or watches TV with us. Z and I quote SpongeBob line by line daily, and she has watched some of the show with us.
I feel awful about shutting Kid out so much, when I see the way Vulture interacts with her. On Vulture’s bad days (if you read the previous post, that’s almost every day), she acts like Kid is a chore. She will snap at Kid, act like Kid is choosing to act out of maliciousness and make “tired mom” jokes that sound like she just flat out doesn’t like Kid. When I had liquor in the fridge, Vulture would ask if she could take a shot because, “I need it. She’s trying me today.
Some choice quotes talking down about the kid:
“I’m being hard on her because she’s not using her words. Like I know she can. She just doesn’t want to.
” This was what Vulture said to me after Kid kept trying to get her attention and wouldn’t explain what she wanted. Kid was just making noises at her and getting frustrated. Vulture full on shouted, “WHAT!
” at her, then turned to me to try and explain why she shouted.
“This is the bad part about being a mom. She’s not letting me do anything right now.
” This was said after Vulture cleaned her desk and was attempting to watch YouTube videos and play her Switch.
On her good days, Vulture will be that kind of smiling parent that does some art activities and engages with Kid in a way that’s more than just screaming. They color together. She offers Kid choices so Kid can have some control over what happens in her day, like, “Do you want bologna or fruit?
” It has helped Kid become more vocal and even though she’s still speech delayed, she talks more and has a bigger vocabulary.
The house has a different atmosphere when OLB is home, compared to when Vulture is just watching Kid by herself. I’ve told OLB that I think Vulture is burned out. Her entire life is her disabilities and being a mom. She only has friends on Discord really, and OLB had to push her to start talking to them again just so she had someone to socialize with.
Old Doormat me pitied her at the beginning of our friendship. I tried being her friend. I tried to include her and Kid in a lot of things. My own mental health, my daily obligations, my gym schedule, and just me changing rapidly since 2020 altered my life, exhausted me, and left me unable to deal with Vulture talking a million miles a minute, info dumping about whatever she’s currently doing every single time I run into her. And as I shed my doormat self, I started seeing her clearly.
I told OLB once that if Vulture is truly burned out or if her health problems are causing that much trouble, Kid might need daycare or another caregiver to help. OLB is aware but can’t afford other care. He’s working for bottom of the barrel pay at a full-time job. Most days after work, he just wants to zone out to his own games in front of his computer but has to step in and parent both Vulture and Kid, because Vulture often needs help organizing through executive dysfunction to do something. Or, because she will call for his help.
There was one time where Kid climbed on top of her, and Vulture called for OLB – who was in the same room – to pull Kid off her. There are quite a few times where Vulture calls for OLB for help with Kid, and I’ve heard him say that he’s also busy too. One time he asked, “Why are you asking for my help when you’re closer?
Z has offered to look after Kid at times because they don’t mind Kid being in our room or just hanging out. She has hung out with us when I also have the mental energy and the room is clean enough to accommodate a toddler crawling on everything. The problem that we both see is that our stepping in isn’t a full solution. She can spend a few hours with us, but ultimately after, she goes right back to Vulture and OLB. Vulture is the one who acts like being a parent is a chore.
There are times that OLB has snapped at Vulture for the way she gets on to Kid, emphasizing, “She’s just a child.
” Their parenting styles are like looking at two entirely different planets and trying to find similarities. OLB is very much into the gentle parenting side of Tik Tok. He talks about breaking generational trauma. He’s usually gentle with Kid, explaining why she’s not allowed to do things like stand on top of her highchair or why I’m too busy to play with her as I’m zooming around the house in and out repeatedly some days. He has talked her down from meltdowns and keeps his voice even to where she can’t bounce off him to amplify her tantrums. He spanks her, but as a last resort, and then also talks to her about why the punishment happened. She will wail through everything and likely isn’t fully listening, but ultimately, I see him trying to work with her. He very rarely loses his actual temper with her.
Vulture is the total opposite. She yells at Kid, spanks with no hesitation and doesn’t explain why. One of Kid’s favorite games to play is “Block the door
” when I’m trying to get through the house. She will block my bedroom door, cling to me, then circle around me as Vulture or OLB tries to distract her or lure her away by asking “do you want chocolate
” or some other treat. Sometimes Kid just likes to play ring-around-the-rosie around my legs, as her parents try to grab her. I try to make it fun and seem like I’m not mad at her, because I’m never actually mad at her for blocking my way. Usually, I’m just in the middle of some arbitrary task or running an errand or coming back from the gym with my one remaining brain cell barely hanging on for dear life. I try to engage with her and play it off as a game because she’s not actually doing anything wrong.
Vulture has lured her away with chocolate and treats, with offers of food, with trying to get her to pick a show to watch. If that fails, she will come and fetch Kid by hand. One time involved yanking her physically off me and spanking her on the bare bottom because Kid was happy playing a game instead of listening.
The bare bottom is a thing, too. Because Kid used to live in soiled diapers for much longer than she was supposed to, she had constant diaper rash that she had to see the doctor for sometimes. She also didn’t want OLB or Vulture to change her diapers and would scream when it was diaper change time. I don’t blame her. The diaper rash hurt, and Vulture wasn’t exactly gentle with changing. Kid bled sometimes with the changings. So now, sometimes Kid will be dressed like Donald Duck in only a top to air out her bottom. Or because now, with the cloth undies, she will pee straight through them, and they just let her air out after.
Kid always smells a bit like pee. So does her room. And her bedding. After I pointed out that her bedding straight out of the dryer smelled like urine, OLB went about cleaning the washing machine with a machine cleaner, and bought scent beads to help cut the smell, after I told him that a little vinegar in the wash load will cut the smells down. Now her bedding doesn’t smell so much like urine, but it’s still there.
Her bedroom frequently smells like a public bathroom. It always looks like her bedroom has been turned upside down, with toys everywhere, her bed pushed to the middle of the room, the mattress on the floor. Books she was given were shredded, even the cardboard ones. There was straight up garbage left in her room because she was given food to eat there that had wrappers. It usually takes Vulture a full day of cleaning to get the room organized when she had the energy to do it, but she usually sanitizes with just a baby wipe, if she does at all. Maybe a pet cleaner sometimes.
There was one time where I was letting the dogs outside and I stepped in a puddle on the tile floor. That was when I realized that it was a pee puddle and Kid’s cloth underwear was dripping. I asked Vulture to clean the puddle up. When she asked to use my steam mop, she didn’t clean the cloth pad after, so when I turned the mop on next, it smelled like hot, steamed urine. I had to clean the mop pad off myself and rinse the pee out of it. When Kid again peed in front of the TV in her cloth undies, I told OLB that if they’re going to use my steam mop to make sure that the mop pad is rinsed off or it will smell like pee the next time it’s used, but he said he was just going to use his mop and bucket. Thankfully.
Because of the diet that OLB and Vulture has, Kid also eats like them. She gets a lot of macaroni, a lot of random odds and ends like pieces of bread, baggies of cheerios, sometimes fruit and vegetables. Lots of chicken nuggets and frozen instant food. Occasionally, Kid will have an interest in vegetables she sees us cook with or that she’s never had. Like once she insisted that she wanted to eat canned peas, until she tasted them. She chewed on a lettuce leaf and put it down, then asked for another one because she wanted to eat something, and it looked tasty to her.
The two halves of the household make separate foods now and keep out of each other’s food, but sometimes Vulture will give Kid some of the food I cooked because Kid saw my spaghetti noodles in a bowl and insisted on having them by way of tantrum. Instead of asking me if it’s okay (which obviously, I’d say yes, Kid can have some), Vulture just gave her my food and then told me after. Maybe I’m just projecting my own frustration, but it feels like Vulture uses Kid as a shield sometimes, to get food. Unless I have a specific purpose for food like what I put in my meal prep containers, I wouldn’t say no to Kid.
Kid’s diet makes me worried for her as she grows up. OLB is big and tall, over 6 feet tall and over 300lbs. They aren’t an active family at all. Kid drinks soda when they get fast food. She eats as much processed food as Vulture. Right now, she’s growing like a weed and is tall and actually has some power in her tiny limbs, which is most noticeable when she climbs you like a ladder, but her parents are gamers that just sit around. Her own screen time is almost as lengthy as theirs is.
I worry about Kid, constantly. Z does too. We have theorized calling CPS, or trying to adopt her, or just getting her away from Vulture. We have thrown around ideas about talking to OLB and convincing him that Vulture isn’t a good person for Kid. A lot of it has stayed in theory because the anxious part of me is still afraid to make life-altering waves like that. I second-guess and gaslight myself into realizing how bad things are, but then telling myself, maybe I’m just blowing it out of proportion. Maybe it's just something they have to handle. Maybe it’s something a first-time parent needs to learn. Maybe Vulture just isn’t feeling good that day. Maybe, maybe, maybe
It’s a leftover of the doormat I used to be, and I know that. The tiny fragment of anxiety that tells me I’m blowing things up into too big a deal. The tiny fragment that escaped a toxic marriage and just wants peace after arguing every single day. The side that hates confrontation.
Maybe I’m just a plain ol’ coward. I don’t know yet. I just know my patience is running thinner with every passing day
I don’t think I could convince OLB to dump Vulture. From what I’ve seen on the surface, they’re not openly affectionate. Vulture complains all the time that OLB doesn’t give her any physical affection, and she (unfortunately
) tells me when they’re intimate, which doesn’t sound often. They almost look like they could be friends that are co-parenting. She calls him her husband when they’re out in public, and OLB has stated that he doesn’t want anything to happen to her, because he doesn’t want a single parent. I assume at the very least that he does love her, even though he sounds exhausted all the time. Z and I wonder if maybe he feels trapped.
OLB is good at asking for help if he needs it, although he hates being a burden to others. He will speak up if Vulture needs a ride to a doctor’s office, and he forgot to leave the car seat at home. I’ve driven to his work to pick it up after he messaged me asking if I could. They ask his family to babysit Kid if they want to go out and just have a good date or see a movie together. They are clearly capable of asking for help.
This is just an acceptable standard for both, or at least that’s the way it seems to me. Sometimes, I don’t truly know if OLB is aware of what Vulture does while he’s at work. He didn’t know that she used his 11-year-old dog as a vacuum cleaner to clean up spilled table scraps until I pointed it out and then he pieced together why his dog wasn’t losing weight on a reduced kibble diet. Sometimes I have pointed out things to him that he might not notice in the house chat.
I started keeping a log in Google Docs about things I notice, and Z and I talk about it in discord, so it’s not heard by ears that are too close to our bedroom. The log started helping me see that I’m not just blowing out of proportion and that in turn helped me come here to reddit. As a former doormat in recovery, I still have to tell myself that it’s okay to realize that something is wrong, and that I may need help getting my voice to speak up.
I haven’t worked since 2017, when my mental health took a sharp nosedive. Z is currently looking for work. Both of us are home all day exposed to Vulture and how she treats Kid. With my own daily tasks, errands, struggling with mental health, there’s still a side of me that berates me that I need to be taking care of Kid. Getting her up, making sure she eats. Pestering Vulture to get up. This is also where I tangle with the former doormat that still lives in me, because one, I don’t want to enable Vulture to get even worse. With someone taking the burden off of her, that gives her more free time to just sit back and game. It isn’t my job to make sure that Vulture is a good parent, yet somehow, I feel like it’s also my fault that she’s as bad as she is while I sit by the wayside and just talk about her behind her back. There are times where I have pestered OLB through discord about Kid crying, or how Kid is trying to beat the door down, or asking if Vulture is up for the day because I haven’t seen her up at three in the afternoon.
I started speaking up when I noticed something that’s off. I call this the “cheese incident
.” We had a block of cheese that was cut in the wrapper and not in anything else, so the exposed end got all hard and inedible. I cut it off and threw it away. Vulture made her way into the kitchen because Kid saw me cutting cheese and wanted some. Vulture
: Who threw away that cheese? (SHE PICKS IT UP OUT OF THE TRASH CAN) Me
: Yeah, it’s got that hard bit Vulture
: So? I know someone who will eat it. (She calls Kid over) Me
: But it was in the trash. Vulture
: It’s okay, I cut off the part that was touching the trash. Me
: Dude, that’s fucked up. Vulture
: (hesitating now) Should I not? Me
: That’s probably going to make her sick again. (Kid has been sick back-to-back at this point) Vulture
: Okay, then I won’t. (To this day, I don’t know if she threw the cheese away or ate it herself, and I’m afraid to ask)
That was the point where I started pointing out that what she’s doing is problematic. It’s a slow process, but it’s helped me put the doormat side of me away again. I’ve explained to Vulture that Kid isn’t crying to be malicious, she just can’t express what she wants. Especially with Kid’s speech delay!
Kid gets frustrated fast when adults don’t understand her, and the wailing begins. There’s no maliciousness behind it, just frustration. Or how Kid doesn’t like being told “no” because she doesn’t always understand why. Strangely, every time I call something out, she doesn’t really have much of a fight against it. But why am I having to say it in the first place?
There’s little things that just rub me the wrong way in how they interact. Sometimes Vulture will call Kid over in the same way you’d call a dog. Repeatedly
. Sometimes Vulture, in a state of migraine or other illness-related grouchiness will scream at her “Leave me alone!
” and OLB will have to fetch Kid. One time, Z told me that Vulture outright mocked her crying by making her own crying noise.
What’s awful to watch in person is that when Vulture’s mom or siblings are over, Vulture is suddenly a doting mom who isn’t perpetually exhausted or loudly complaining about how her “everything
” hurts. She talks in an overly sweet voice to Kid. It unsettles me with how two-faced it seems. OLB, Vulture, and Kid go have dinner with OLB’s family every Sunday evening, and I can’t help but wonder how two-faced she is there, as well. Some of OLB’s family doesn’t like Vulture to begin with.
Slowly, I am losing patience at how Vulture behaves, especially with the Kid. I had to un-gaslight myself, start logging her behavior, and talk to other people to really see it for what it was. I told multiple friends about it and we all generally have the same consensus that Vulture is just an unfit parent. If her chronic illnesses are truly interfering with her life that much, she shouldn’t be the majority caregiver through the day. But it’s not like OLB would be able to work from home or be the stay-at-home parent. In a perfect world, I would be able to help more as well, but I’m barely the “fun
” aunt. I’m barely equipped to help care for a three-year-old. Hell, most days I’m barely an actual person. Kid deserves better.
Bottom line, Kid deserves better than what this house can give. I am upset with myself over my lack of action, but the logs have only been growing bigger. Every day, the doormat dies a little more.
Vulture herself though, will likely always be a side show. One thing that Z pointed out to me was that, as the doormat I used to be, I would give everything to help someone even when I was mentally exhausted. I enmeshed myself too much into the lives of my friends because I loved making them happy and making their lives easier. It’s gotten me into some awkward territory with Vulture, because some things were interpreted as more than friendship.
You ready to cringe more? Because the next part is going to deal with polyamory, the desire for open relationships, and the main reason why Z despises her – and that’s putting it mildly. Take a moment to un-cringe yourself. It ain’t over yet.
Over the lifespan of ninjala I played it since release, in my opinion, ninjala today is a shit show of unbalanced game features, a toxic competitive community that values bearing bullshit; pay to win features and getting lucky over actual skill and learning how to actualy play this combat pvp game, however, regardless how bad ninjala is today, it still has a soft spot in one of my favourite videogames I've played, ninjala in its peak had an awesome battle pass with a stable community and a fairly balanced game (although you could argue that hit scaning has always been a problem in ninjala), but at some point I left the game, mostly because I had gone to other games (splatoon 3), I went to ninjala after I was done with fortnite in chapter 2 season 4, when I barely had any game to play in quarantine, it remarked me as a game like splatoon but had its own charm to it, it was actually fun and had some sense of skill to it at the start, I even made some freinds through it ( jozerp If you're reading this I'm sorry I haven't caught up to playing with you around this time I deleted my discord account cos I barely ever use it now) it had a sense of community to it that made it kind of fun, however, the game got stail, and my blame for the game becoming stale, the devs. I personally think that the devs of ninjala are absolutely insane for the things theve added to this game, the ninja gum lab, trash shinobi cards, and a prominent problem I've seen in ninjala, is the abundance of 100 to death combos you can do to anyone by just getting lucky, ninjal isn't a game about skill anymore, it's a game where people are able to win by either camping drones for easy points of third partying someone, requiring no skill whatsoever, this game has a soft spot in my heart, why am I repeating this? To show how sad I am seeing what this game has become, it used to be a game where you could have fun streamlining your favourite creator ( btw sorry goljee), you could share your art here and people wherent the most supremist jerkwads in existence who will call it a "skill issue" when you have a problem with the fact that they can just third party you with no consequence of dying since they get the drop on you.
Since returning to ninjala I remember again why I loved it, but I also remembered why I fell out of love for it, this game has just dug its own gabe and I'm actually sad this has happened to it, so I'm most likely not going to come back, unless the devs at least try fixing there game. For now, ima leave it up to if I wanna, C ya
I've been seeing this girl that i met through friends, we have gone on a few dates, and thing are awesome, we have lost in common. On this last date i made her dinner and we sat on the balcony chatting and having a drink. While out on the balcony i asked her to be my girlfriend, she said perhaps later. Which i beleive she was saying it was just too soon to ask. Then we went on a 2 hour walk and continued to talk and have a good time. Should i appologize to her for asking too soon so things dont get weird, or would it be better to just not bring it up since we had a good time after?
So me F17 and this guy M17 that recently joined my friend group have been getting closer recently and we both knew that we liked each other and we even hanged out once just the two of us to watch a friend in common in a performance and that was the first time we hanged out alone but nothing out of the ordinary happened we were just friendly and had a great time. Earlier this week he invited me to watch a movie yesterday, and of course I say yes. Keep in mind I have known he liked me for a while now and I was pretty sure he knew I liked him too. But we both didn't say anything, while on the movie "date" everything is normal and friendly. But towards the end he walks me to my car and then he hugs me, the hug became a little too long to be friendly and then he says, "I like you" I couldn't help myself and I laugh not because of him but because that gave me butterflies and I was just so nervous in his arms. He says "It was obvious huh?" I said "yeah". He then says, "just don't make it awkward" and i respond "what am I suppose to say?" **this whole convo happens while we are hugging** so he lets go and i get in my car then i drive away. I get home and we call. In the call everything was normal like nothing happened. I had to bring it up, I asked "why it took him so long wasn't it obvious?" and he says "I was just scared and you didn't give me any clear signs"
So my question is, do I have to tell him I like him too? My friends all say I should since guys are oblivious but I think it is very clear that I like him.
Sorry if this is redundant, it just seems like there are so many variables when I try to research it.
I'm an exhibitionist and made a habit of streaking in a park at night. I've had the police called on me a few times, but I've always evaded until recently one night they arrested me. This is in Texas. I realize how stupid I've been, I know there's something wrong with me, I just want to get this over with quickly and effectively so I can be left alone and see a therapist.
I've been charged with two misdemeanors, public indecency and evading arrest. They kept me in jail for about a day and a half. A lady explained to me that I had the option to take a personal bond as a cheaper alternative to paying the full fee for both charges, which was in the thousands. Of course there was the third option of a lengthier jail time which I desperately want to avoid. This is my first time being arrested and confronted with the legal system, so I thought the personal bond sounded like a good option, and I signed the application for it. Plus, the lady told me if it got rejected, I could just go back to paying the full fee.
While I was locked up, I met with the judge who told me that I was eligible for the personal bond. I requested a public defender, and I was released later that day. The court date is in a few weeks.
The conditions of the personal bond are a heavily reduced fee of eighty dollars, plus having to call a specific pretrial services officer for "supervision," something that I don't know the specifics of. At least with other pretrial services, I can see how someone charged with a DUI could be assigned to an "alcohol monitoring unit," or how someone charged of domestic abuse could be assigned to "supervised family violence," but I've been assigned to just "supervision". What does that mean?
I'm just anxious as to whether or not I'm making the best decisions for myself.
Was taking the personal bond the best option? I'm tempted to pay the full fee IF it means I don't have to appear in court and deal with further sentencing, but unfortunately I didn't think to clarify this while I met with the judge. I do have the money to pay for it after all. It would hurt, but it's recoverable in my situation. Is it too late to change my mind on this?
The fact that I requested a public defender also makes me nervous in hindsight, since as far as I can tell, I have no guarantee as to when they'll contact me.
I am also aware that this will go on my record, and if there's any possible way to get it taken off, I'd like to know about it. It sounds like a lawyer specific question, but again, is the court appointed attorney the best option? Is it too late to change my mind about that as well?
Woof woof! I (22M) recently started an internship at a CPA firm that runs through the summer, I'm really hoping this leads to full time employment after I graduate in the Fall. However, this is not what I am writing this post about.
When I started last Tuesday, I met this girl who is a fellow intern (19F) who sat next to me during training, and then at lunch, and then at lunch again. She seems really nice and she is pretty, only problem is that the more I talk to her, the more I think about her. We have a lot of things in common and I can never tell if someone is flirting, so listing stories might be useless unless some of you want specific info.
Everything seems great, but I can't tell if it's too early in my professional career to take a swing that big. I also have no idea how to ask her to hang out more without it being a date, so that doesn't help either.
Any help is appreciated. I just have no clue on if I should just let this thing go and bury my head in the sand.
Side Note: We both went to the same high school and live somewhat close to each other, thought that was neat.
Something odd happened right after I stabbed the Master Sword into the Demon Dragon's head. I collected all of Zelda's memories from the Dragon's Tears so I got the good ending, but when the cutscene with Rauru and Sonia channelling their power to Link began something was immediately wrong.
Link's shirt was missing.
My gear in the Ganondorf fight and Demon Dragon fight, right up to the strike into the Demon Dragon's head, was as follows:
Head: none (wild unkempt hair look good)
Top: Champion's Leathers (fully upgraded)
Pants: Ember Trousers (fully upgraded, dyed light yellow to have the same colour as standard Hylian Trousers)
Total defense: 52
Weapon: Master Sword (fused with a Silver Lynel Saber Horn for 170 total attack power while aglow)
Shield: Hylian Shield (intact, but badly damaged in the fight with Ganondorf, holy SHIT does he pulverise shields)
Bow: Dusk Bow (Good condition, wish it still shot light arrows though)
Is Link supposed to lose his top after the fight, or did something get tangled in the game's code to result in his top being removed between cutscenes? Link didn't have a weapon, shield or bow equipped in the affected cutscenes either, so he was only wearing Hylian Trousers with his Zonai power cells on the belt. This wardrobe malfunction unfortunately made the skydiving scene right after all that feel a bit weird to me, so I'm wondering if anyone else had the same issue.
I am recommending everyone to a very trusted, reliable and gifted hacker. She is competent, and provides excellent services. She is very affordable and charges way less,
Contact her legitimatehacker441 AT GMAIL DOT COM
Text +1 (240) 621-0422
Telegram +1 (240) 621-0422
Whatsapp +1 (602) 730-5295
Many services she can render include: Social Media Hack( Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, Twitter, Viber etc.), GPS Location Tracking, Recovering of lost bitcoin/ bitcoin account, Incoming calls Restriction, Intercepting and Retrieving Instant Messages, Grade Hacking, Credit Score Increase, USSD Control Commands, WhatsApp Spy, Viber Spy, Facebook/Messenger Spy, Skype Spy, Hacking into Databases of all kinds, Calendar Monitoring, Internet Usage Monitoring, Remotely Accessing SMS, Game Hacking and Cracking, Key Logging, Remote Email Spying, and more. Also Colleges/University upgrades, mobile phone hack and provider, Clearing criminal record, clear your bank debt and mortgage, retrieve deleted files, private investigator, crypto currency wallet hijack, erase leaked sex tape of all kinds. What made me had trust in her was her offer of total Refund of any displeasing services but i didn't have to use that Choice.
Contact her legitimatehacker441 AT GMAIL DOT COM
Text +1 (240) 621-0422
Telegram +1 (240) 621-0422
Whatsapp +1 (602) 730-5295
About a day ago my cat was admitted into the vet hospital. The fees are astronomical as one can imagine. Me being a college student, I can’t really afford thousands of dollars but my pets are my babies, so I made a donation page for the vet fees. Now I don’t expect to meet my goal by any means, but a few small donations would roll in and it really helped and made me feel pretty good that people were willing to help at all. Today while at work I got a notification for a donation, just shy of a grand. I was in shock to say the least, nearly started crying in the middle of the kitchen. I looked to see if it was a person I knew and I didn’t recognize the last name in the slightest and couldn’t find a connection to them in any of the places the link had been posted. A stranger made my day today and helped me out so significantly that I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if I got the chance to repay her or thank her somehow. A little while later the vet called and told me that while my cat still has to stay for a bit he is doing much better with his responses and that’s a huge step forward to me. As sucky as this situation has been things are looking up and I’m so grateful for it.