Morning all,
This is very long winded so apologies in advanced but this is something I need to explain in hope of sorting my shit out.
I’m 29 years old and have a great family and friends. I’m a very deep person and I care a lot.
The last few months I’ve been in a place where I’ve lost myself and I feel I don’t know what to do. I decided to take pure cacao truffles and ended up doing 3 stupidly.
At first my trip was lovely. I was seeing my friends, outside watching the trees move and felt connected. I asked god to help me face my ego and boy did I.
It suddenly turned dark and a dark cloud was over me to my left. The ground would swallow me as in a coffin and I’d be in the ground. I’d shoot up to get out and I’d look at the floor and it would be pure blood. Soaked in blood and it was becoming too much. As I got my stuff to walk back to my apartment 2 minutes away as I’d concentrate on my apartment it got further and further away. Then teleporting me onto the carpark but then I’d shake my head and realise where I was.
I got home and it grew more and more intense. I tried to myself sick but felt something was grabbing my hand from my stomach! I was ringing my friends as I lost all complete sense of reality. I finally decided to ring my mom and dad and explain and of course they was worried.
I had to had a voice to know where I was as I genuinely was worried I was dead in the park and all this was an illusion.
Hours this was. I was on FaceTime to my mom but merged with my dad. My brain would then think am I speaking to my dad really but seeing my mom because I broke down.
My dad isn’t well and it’s a huge worry of mine, as I was explaining how much I love them I was facing my fears head on which is death and being alone. As I was on FaceTime breaking down, I was crying but no tears then someone was kneeling down on my sofa crying. Then as I’d realise I’m explaining my fear I would get an overwhelming sense of I’m dead and I’m talking to this on my phone but it’s my mom kneeling beside me or looking for me.
I finally come around and got a good sleep. I’ve woke up today shocked and still a little worried that I’m in a different dimension or my old reality is I’m dead! It’s truly terrifying and I’m hoping someone here can shrewd light on my experience or at least offer me some words because this is the worst thing I’m going through.

I am looking for some advice from an emotional-support perspective rather than a practical perspective.
I went out with my family yesterday. Being immunocompromised, I normally don't (i.e. can't) go out much. But my grandma, whom we don't get to see often and haven't seen in five years, is visiting and really wanted to do something together. The family and I decided we would go to an outdoor shopping arcade, where there are indoor shops (for them to enjoy) but also ample open-air areas (for me if needed).
Of the family members yesterday, two live with me, and two don't. Grandma is also staying with me during her visit. The family members I live with, along with Grandma, are elderly and would typically mask up in public spaces. The two I don't live with are younger and wear baggy blues sparingly.
At the beginning of the shopping trip, everyone was still properly masked, but for some odd reason, one by one took off their protection. As it was happening, I spoke up about it but was brushed off in the moment with phrases like, "It's fine," or "I just want to smell the aroma (in the bakery)."
The unmasking frenzy started with the two I don't live with, which did not come as a surprise. I'm okay with that. I respect their way of life and can make do with it since I don't have to share a living space with them in the end of the day. But I was appalled by how the elderlies whom I trusted, and whom I live with, also followed suit. And I have a problem with that because they live with me and should know better. I feel betrayed. And it hurts seeing that they don't care enough about me to stay protected.
What baffles me the most is that they would take off their masks indoors where there were clearly unmasked people near them but would then pull them back up outside. I'm so confused. These are folks who would normally complain to me about people not masking, so I don't know what was going on yesterday. Most of the shoppers and staff at the shopping arcade were maskless, so perhaps that messed with their judgement? I don't have a clue.
But anyways, as a result of their behavior and their unnecessary exposure, I will now be confined to my room at home for the next little while. It's my only way to protect myself after the fact because they've refused to make any accommodation such as wearing a mask or divvying up our living space so we can all live comfortably while keeping distance. Worse yet, they seem perfectly ok with me having very limited access to the kitchen (i.e. food) and the bathroom because I apparently "made this a problem when it's not". I can only use those spaces after they have gone to bed and have vacated the area. It's very demoralizing, but there's nothing I can do because after all, they have the right to do what they want.
It feels like I'm being punished for wanting to protect my health - is this feeling valid? Are any of my feelings valid? Everyone at home is treating me like I'm nuts for feeling bothered by yesterday's incident and for thinking my wellbeing is at risk. I feel so defeated and am starting to second think: Am I wrong for feeling upset about my family's behavior yesterday? Am I overreacting for wanting to keep some distance after the fact? Am I really "just too pessimistic" about my health and the whole Covid situation like they say I am? It also prompted me to wonder if they normally behave like this when I'm not around. Like how many times did they expose me to risks in the past without my knowledge? Am I being unreasonably paranoid? I can't keep my head from swimming. How do I stay sane as I live out the next few days in isolation?

Paused the game for 30 minutes and came back to see all of my quest progression had been reset. Any tips on how to fix this?

Okay, so I realized this a few minutes ago. And I also don't really see a lot of other people giving talking about it.
I love making my games go into the brink of major glitches and corruption with all the stuff I download and add on.
And the main reason why I say this makes ts3 my favorite game is because the base game elements or things added with the packs, is such a good base point. But I love exploiting the reach of it all. Download a mod mostly because it allows same-sex pregnancy and the needed cc? Yes absolutely will do that and make a guy achieve the surrounded by family through his own pregnancies.
Absolutely will download every single mod that adds more toddler actions where now it's more fun to play as a toddler than as a child even though it definitely slowed my game down and some new actions don't work and aren't animated.
Build/buy on other lots through testingcheatsenabled true and shift clicking on a lot? Yes. I will change everything to greens, blues, and lavenders, because cool colors are the coolest. And I will make it look like a grandma's stereotypical house.
Download (🏴‍☠️) almost all the store content and barely use more than 3 premium content? Love it, and I will also download companion mods that add onto them more.
I LOVE CUSTOM CONTENT AND HATE HOW BAD THE TAGGING SYSTEM IS ON TUMBLR
Full on sensory overload when I play this game. Candles going and playing a TV show while I Force my sims to live a country lifestyle and mostly keep them on the same lot.
And that's another thing, everyone says that they love how they can go other places, but I really, REALLY enjoy forcing everything to be on the same lot. A lot of manual labor with building and I haven't gotten more than 5 minutes of actual game time from building so long. But it's my favorite thing.
The more actions on the same lot the better. If my sims are stir crazy I take it as a sign I'm doing good.
I would make a world completely replicating my town if I could figure out how to work CAW.
It's the most funniest thing to have a ton of sims and trying to force them to all do one thing, (eat at the same table together) and then make them do every little thing I placed on the home lot individually.
Number one thing I do is switch between characters. Always have them doing something. There's just so many options.
I love using cheats to make everything go my way.
I know my game is slow and lags if you move around too much, and objects don't get their texture four a few seconds after going back to an area, but sims 3 has a magic that I can't describe other than an analogy where sims 3 as a base game is like a dollhouse, and it's good dollhouse but I want to add a basketball court, and a McDonald's, and so much more, and I can do that because the sims 3 is a chaotic game. That for all it's said to handle, it actually does a lot more for me.

Our 4.5 month old (five months on the Saturday) has been a great sleeper. He has been sleeping straight through the night with no night feedings for several months at this point. About a month ago we did some sleep training using FIO to help wean him of needing to nurse to sleep, and now he falls asleep independently in about 10 minutes for naps and bedtime.
But three days ago he learned how to roll belly to back, and for the past three nights he has woken up screaming between 3:30 and 3:45.
I sleep in his room with him (him in his crib, me in our guest bed). What am I supposed to do during the night wakes? Out of worry the first two nights I fed him and he went back to sleep immediately the first night, but the second night he still fussed afterwards. Right now I am typing this from my kitchen - I left the room to see if FIO would work - but we are on minute 15 and he is still screaming at max volume. Do I try feeding him, in case he is actually hungry? Do I stay out of the room indefinitely? Is this the four month sleep regression? What's the best course of action here?

Watch the talk given at BeJS conf or read the notes below ↓

What are signals?

• a = b + c
  • a always reflects sum of “b” and “c”, even when “b” or “c” change
• createSignal, createEffect

How does it work? Is it a compiler thing?

• No! It’s all runtime!
• When the value is read, we register a subscriber
• When we write to the value, we go thru the subscribers and call them

Why are signals exciting?

• Your component functions are only called once (when it renders)
• When your signal value changes, the component function is not re-run, only the part of the UI that uses the signal gets updated
• You can move the signal out of the component to have “global” state, signals aren’t tied to components
• Eliminates the need for v-DOM
• The performance of your app and the amount of JS is tied to the amount of interactivity your site needs (as opposed to the number of elements)
• DevTools that can show you how data flows through your app
  • You can see what changes updates to your signals trigger

Library/framework usage

• SolidJS → known for popularizing the terms signals
  • Not invented by SolidJS, different names throughout the years (e. g. observable – but not RxJs observable)
• 2020 → no one talked about signals, although some libraries used them under the hood
• now, a lot of frameworks use signals: Qwik, Vue, Preact, Angular
  • last time this sort of alignment happened was the virtual DOM

Watch the talk given at BeJS conf or read the notes below ↓

What are signals?

• a = b + c
  • a always reflects sum of “b” and “c”, even when “b” or “c” change
• createSignal, createEffect

How does it work? Is it a compiler thing?

• No! It’s all runtime!
• When the value is read, we register a subscriber
• When we write to the value, we go thru the subscribers and call them

Why are signals exciting?

• Your component functions are only called once (when it renders)
• When your signal value changes, the component function is not re-run, only the part of the UI that uses the signal gets updated
• You can move the signal out of the component to have “global” state, signals aren’t tied to components
• Eliminates the need for v-DOM
• The performance of your app and the amount of JS is tied to the amount of interactivity your site needs (as opposed to the number of elements)
• DevTools that can show you how data flows through your app
  • You can see what changes updates to your signals trigger

Library/framework usage

• SolidJS → known for popularizing the terms signals
  • Not invented by SolidJS, different names throughout the years (e. g. observable – but not RxJs observable)
• 2020 → no one talked about signals, although some libraries used them under the hood
• now, a lot of frameworks use signals: Qwik, Vue, Preact, Angular
  • last time this sort of alignment happened was the virtual DOM

I got the course Codie Sanchez & Ryan Snow – How to Buy a Small Business
I found a link for the course for all of you people out there who need.
The link is direct download, no torrents, no viruses.
Let me know if you need anything else.
I can get access to many courses.
Where to download

The new live-action 'The Little Mermaid' movie stars Halle Bailey and Melissa McCarthy. Make sure to keep on reading to learn where you can watch and stream it.
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Animated Film! Here are options for downloading or watching The Little Mermaid streaming the full movie online for free on 123movies & Reddit, including where to watch Disney's latest live-action adaptation movies at home. Is The Little Mermaid 2023 available to stream? Is watching The Little Mermaid on Peacock, Disney Plus, HBO Max, Netflix or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option/service.
Folks, it's time to dive under the sea once again. Over the last few years, Disney has recreated their top animated musical films into live-action movies. The Little Mermaid is no different, and viewers can't wait to swim into theaters to catch a glimpse of how the movie will stand up against the original version.
Walt Disney Studios has established a remarkable trend of making live-action remakes of its classic stories. One after the other, all the fairytales of the past era are being brought to life by the studio in an attempt to tell the magical stories in a new light of living characters. With the live-action Peter Pan & Wendy due out in April, Disney will continue their string of live-action remakes a month later with The Little Mermaid.
Get ready to go "under the sea!" The latest of Disney's hugely successful line of live-action remakes, Ariel (Halle Bailey) is set to return to theaters for the first time in almost thirty-five years with The Little Mermaid (2023). The Walt Disney Company once again invites audiences to travel under the sea to see Princess Ariel's story unfold like never before. Featuring direction from veteran musical filmmaker Rob Marshall and other roles inhabited by major Hollywood stars like Melissa McCarthy as Ursula the Sea Witch and Javier Bardem as King Triton, the film is bound to be a bona fide hit at the box office.
Though the upcoming and highly anticipated film will have stiff competition against two stand-up comedians on the weekend it releases, The Little Mermaid is destined to show that life is better down where it's wetter under the sea this Summer movie season. To find showtimes and streaming information on Disney's latest big-budget reimagining of an animated classic, here is where you can watch The Little Mermaid.
Actress Halle Bailey as Ariel, the iconic mermaid princess who longs to be part of the the mysteriously world housed above the ocean floor. When she saves the handsome Prince Eric (Jonah Hauer-King) from a shipwreck, she makes a deal with the sea witch Ursula (Melissa McCarthy) in order to gain human legs and go on land to impress him. But there's one catch to the transaction: Ariel must trade her voice in order for her to try and see the things she's after. But as fans of the original 1989 film know, this comes with a series of consequences that threaten both her existence and the lives of those she loves.
Before we ask if you're interested in seeing this, we know you are. But like us, you're probably wondering how to watch and stream The Little Mermaid online. Luckily, we have some clues and it's likely to land on a major streaming site very soon. So climb aboard, because here's where to watch and stream The Little Mermaid online.
What Is the Release Date for The Little Mermaid?
Ariel's quest to go from a mermaid into a human begins anew when The Little Mermaid premieres this Memorial Day Weekend on Friday, May 26th, 2023. The film will be going up against not one, but two stand-up comedians and their films that weekend, with Sebastian Maniscalco's About My Father and Bert Kreischer's The Machine premiering on the same day. That said, The Little Mermaid will almost certainly be the choice for younger audiences and families.
While some Disney films are heading straight to Disney+, The Little Mermaid will first be shown exclusively in theaters.
Where To Watch The Little Mermaid Online:
As of now, the only way to watch Fast X is to head out to a movie theater when it premieres on May 26, 2023. You can find a local showing on Fandango.
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Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Amazon, Vudu, YouTube or Apple, or become available to stream on Disney+.
How to Watch The Little Mermaid
At the moment, you can watch The Little Mermaid at your local theater. But like most movies these days, it should hit a streaming website in the near future.
Like its predecessor, The Little Mermaid is a flick produced by multimedia conglomerate Disney. What's more, the production studio owns a number of other famous franchises, like the Marvel Cinematic Universe and Star Wars. Titles made under these umbrellas have both hit Disney+ sometime after arriving at the box office. Fans may also know the original Little Mermaid is currently available to stream on the site as well. So, if the 2023 version follows the same pattern, folks will likely get to see The Little Mermaid on Disney+ later this year too.
​
As for an exact release date for The Little Mermaid, that's more complicated. Most movies produced by Disney often go to its streamer site within three months after debuting in theaters, like the most recent Marvel film Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania. If this is the case for The Little Mermaid, it will probably drop in late August 2023 or sometime near Labor Day in early September.
When the time comes for The Little Mermaid to splash onto Disney+ though, make sure you're all prepared to watch it. If you don't have access yet, you can opt into a 30-day free trial before choosing a plan that start at $7.99 per month or $79.99 per year. After your account is all set, click on the title page on Disney+'s official website or the Disney+ app.
As you wait for The Little Mermaid to hit the streamer, why don't you watch the animated version and its sequel The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea? Or if you want to immerse yourself in another live-action version, click on the 2019 ABC TV special The Little Mermaid Live!. Enjoy!
Will The Little Mermaid Be in Theaters or on Streaming?
Unlike several of Disney's other live-action remakes such as Pinocchio and Peter Pan & Wendy, The Little Mermaid will be exclusively in movie theaters first with tickets available for pre-sale now.
​
After The Little Mermaid has completed its exclusive theatrical run, the film will be released on the Disney+ streaming service. Based on Disney's past release models, the film won't be made available to stream before 45 to 90 days after its theatrical release.
​
When will The Little Mermaid be streaming on Disney+?
The Little Mermaid Disney+ premiere date is tentatively estimated to be August 30, 2023.
​
While no official Little Mermaid streaming date has been confirmed by Disney, most of its major movie releases drop on Disney+ following a minimum 90-day period, and typically premiere on the platform on Wednesdays, making Wednesday, August 30 the most likely date for Disney’s The Little Mermaid live-action streaming release.
​
Will The Little Mermaid Be Streaming On Disney+?
The 2023 version of The Little Mermaid will only be in theaters initially. After The Little Mermaid has completed its exclusive theatrical run, it is likely to stream on Disney Plus. You can also watch the animated version of Hans Christian Andersen's 1837 fairy tale of Ariel on Disney Plus now.
​
While you will only be able to catch the new "The Little Mermaid" in theaters starting next Friday, you can still sign up for Disney+ now to refresh yourself on the characters, song, plot and magical fun from the highly anticipated film. The 1989 version of the movie was a catalyst for Disney's animation renaissance throughout the '90s and it still holds up today.
​
An ad-supported Disney+ subscription starts at $8 per month, but you can get an ad-free access to the service for $11 monthly or bundle the Disney streaming service with Hulu and ESPN+ starting at $13 per month. Disney+ boasts a huge collection of movies and television series, including Marvel and Star Wars content. If you add in Hulu and ESPN, you have nearly unlimited entertainment at your fingertips.
​
Is The Little Mermaid streaming on Netflix?
No, The Little Mermaid will not be on Netflix — at least not any time soon. In the meantime, you’ll just have to head out to a movie theater or wait for it to become available to stream on Disney+.
​
Will The Little Mermaid Be On HBO Max?
No, The Little Mermaid will not be on HBO Max since it’s not a Universal Pictures movie. Last year, the company released its films in theaters and on the streamer on the same day. However, they now allow a 45-day window between the theatrical release and the streaming release.
​
Is The Little Mermaid Available On Hulu?
Viewers are saying that they want to view the new animation movie The Little Mermaid on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. It will be exclusive to the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
​
How to Watch The Little Mermaid Online For Free?'
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There are a few ways to watch The Little Mermaid online in the U.S. You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. You can also watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.

Hello! Id love to kindly ask for advice on situation I’m dealing with in my current relationship. This is my first ever relationship, I’m 19 and he is 20. We’ve been dating for a little over four months now and have known each other for over eight months. He’s been a great guy and I’ve learned a lot about myself and him throughout this. We’ve run into a bit of a rough patch recently though. I’m going through a lot of life changes and having some family issues. I’m also a very emotional person and I love myself a good cry! When I’ve had issues these past few months I’ve confided in him, but he never really knows how to respond. Our first argument was actually over me asking him to send me good morning texts often. He snapped at me at some point and it caused me to start crying in which we got off the phone. We resolved it but that was the first moment I noticed that he didn’t really seem to know what to do when I got emotional. I bought it up in conversation and communicated that I appreciate reassurance/comfort when these things come along, but he’s never really been able to reciprocate it.
So again, I’ve recently been going through life changes and family issues. I’ve confided in him for all of it. He tends to provide solutions when I’m upset, but I’ve informed him that’s not an effective method for me and that I really prefer reassurance and comfort in those moments. So one night, we went to watch a movie and I gotta kinda stressed out because I lost my phone and we were meant to go to a party later, but seemed like we were going to be late. After the movie was over, he distanced himself from me and grew cold. When we got in the car, he said he thought I was upset at him because I was stressed and I communicated that wasn’t the case. When I started driving, he asked if I thought I was bipolar. I was caught completely off guard by this because it came completely out of no where. This then spiraled into the conversation where he essentially stated that I “stress him out” when I get emotional and that he doesn’t think it’s “normal” that I cry so much. To be more specific, he said it stresses him out to a point where he gets a headache because it makes him upset to see me upset. He admits he’s not very emotionally intact with him emotions and that he grew up in a household where that wasn’t deemed acceptable. I tell him I understand and that I can try to have a bit more of a grip on myself.
The next morning I wake up and realize I maybe shouldn’t have been so submissive to the idea of being less emotional. So we agree to rediscuss, and I bring up that I’m not willing to give up letting it all out. And he says he’s not able to help me very well because he doesn’t know how to. So I just say “So what you’re telling me is that you can’t/don’t know how to handle my emotions?”. There’s a long pause and he just goes “Yeah, I guess that is kinda what I’m saying.”. We continue to argue a bit and then I settle on “I won’t come to you with my problems and emotions. I’ll discuss with my friends and have them help me through it and distance myself until I figure it out with someone”. He then proceeeded to very reluctantly disagree and said he felt like a d*ck. I just sighed and told him that I don’t know what other solution there would be to this. And that’s what I’ve been doing. I’m attaching a screenshot of an example of what we agreed upon and how he responded. I just don’t quite know what to do. I feel like I should be able to confide in my partner, but also that I understand your own mental health is more important than others. I guess I just need to hear others opinions who aren’t people I know.
Sorry if this is super long! I tried to only mention what was essential.

Wall Pilates by Fit & Lean HEALTH & FITNESS ∙ 2023
Hanna Chebotarova
If you’re looking for a way to diversify your trainings and try something new and trendy, Wall Pilates is a great option.
The wall can add resistance to your regular workout routine, and it can also take your moves up a notch by adding elevation.
Wall Pilates workouts by Fit & Lean aim to: - Target every problem area (glutes, legs, inner and outer thighs, back, waist, hips, and abs) - Increase muscular endurance - Improve posture and balance - Strengthen core and back muscles - Improve flexibility and deepen stretch
The movements are slow and controlled, which makes exercises perfect for those who are new to Pilates or are looking for a low-impact workout. Find a wall nearby and give Fit & Lean a try! You’ll certainly feel like you have worked, and you’ll definitely feel how the wall supports some of the movements and adds challenge to others.
Ready? Let's get to work!
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dont know exactly where to post this so il post it wherever i guess. ive recently started working on youtube and my plan is to make it a living eventually. However for now im a faceless youtuber and ive thought about using cam because people tend to agree that people will find you alot more relatable if you do. I think im a decent looking guy. sure theres things im self consious about but all in all im more confident or "atleast i was" that people would compliment my looks rather than bash me. So i asked her what she thought and her first and only comment was : i dont think you should, you know how internet trolls are and people are going to bash you for ur looks. Am i out of line here? cause obviously i know theres trolls and eventually someone will probably comment on something, but for her first and only comment would be that, it makes me really wonder if she honestly think im attractive. She could have said that, but if its the only thing she thinks about then obviously there must be many flaws she sees on me. what do you think? am i over reacting here or is she in the wrong?

(TBM, dang autocorrect)
I'm on vacation in NYC. I was skeptical of coming, due to unresolved bottled up familial issues (came with brother and mother), and was right to be so. Yes I know, confirmation bias is a thing, but at the beginning I certainly had no bias. I somewhat enjoyed it, talking slightly with my brother and playing games, traveling the city with 100 lbs of luggage, enjoying the sights, but my enjoyment particularly with my family was degragated (for lack of a better word) as of course, I was a third wheel. My mom and brother get along just fine, being very similar in values and personalities, both of em with their own little niches, and I was left behind as they chatted... and chatted... and chatted... with each other. While somewhat annoying if I wanted to do anything or get their attention, I'm used to it so I tried my best to enjoy what I could where I could.
I should probably get more to the point.
My family is quite inconsiderate. Especially of me, because they have whatever their own excuses are inside their heads. I'm sure this is rather bold, religious issues aside, so let me explain.
My family pays little to no regard to strangers. Occasionally, they smile superficially and try to be missionaries... ughck... and say sorry emptily, naturally ofc whenever they make a small mistake, but the other things they do... some I can't really explain very well, so I'll give examples. On a subway, despite some people very close nearby seeming like they reaaally didn't want to be bothered, my family chatted about things that held no importance, even by what I'd assume their standards are. It's small, ik; but it's so constant and happens even when they're aware that I can say it's somewhat evidence that they do not care about the well-being of most people. Despite saying they do..... OK next example. Sitting next to each other in 2 tight knit seats and turning around while wearing backpacks in order to face each other... quickly turning back and forth to smile fakely and utter a quick sorry- showing a lack of awareness for people around them. I know, I know, it's pointless to explain, but I'll get to it. Third example: while a single worker is there, my mom helps my brother dig for a certain shirt, while my brother tries. on. many. shirts, and tosses them around in the shirt pile, disregarding the worker that's trying to fold every single one, let alone other customers.' Oh, all while I get so sick of waiting and trying to tell them to hurry every 10 minutes- I somewhat timed it, that I even help the worker fold the clothes. We were there for an hour and a half. I keep telling them to hurry, as my symptoms are getting worse. Oh, did I not mention? I didn't just get sick of waiting, I got sicker while waiting. 4 hours earlier, I got sick. 4. Hours. That's when I first told them I needed to get home asap.
Which brings me to the morning of the day. I woke up, feeling fine, and while eating breakfast, my brother gets me to talk about something I don't want to, and then says one of the most blood boiling, way out of line things I've ever heard of in my life after he got annoyed at me when I told him "if you don't want me to explain my way, you don't have to listen." (Reminder that HE wanted ME to talk. I didn't care). I calmed myself down and clearly told him that he should never say anything like what he said, to anyone, ever. Of course, my religion-enhanced entitled brother was appalled at such a statement. Or more accurately, did. Not. Care. Because since I'm not part of the church, my words carry no weight, and OF COURSE I'm always wrong. So fast forward a bit; my brother, mom, and I go to the museum of science and natural history. We immediately get split up, which I'm perfectly fine with, since I just wanted to take pictures of EVERYTHING with my new phone (Samsung A23 ultra), testing the limits of it's camera. All in all I took around 300 using the multiple options from lighting to megapixels, and let me tell you, the camera is FUCKING AMAZING. Anyways, all the 200mp pictures at higher zooms apparently drain the phone battery pretty quickly as it processes the photos. So my phone starts running low, around 20%. It was about 63% when I first came in around 45 minutes prior. I'm getting very hungry, and combined with breakfast and other misc tiny events, hangry, so I text my family for us to meet up and eat, because I'm famished and really can't wait too much longer. I have to wait what felt like a really long time, 15 minutes, while I kept taking photos, more spread out now, and my phone battery came down to 10. Thank goodness they had some beef jerky they never mentioned about. My mom didn't want any so I had half and gave the rest to my brother. I'm still ravenous, the beef jerky wasn't nearly enough to satiate my hunger. I'm practically desperate for food. I don't want to leave them for food, and I don't want to leave the museum otherwise I couldn't come back in via the rules, and I want to take more pictures. Reaaaly badly. Not just for me, but for my family too. At this point my battery's getting really low, 6%, so I stop taking photos entirely unless there's something REALLY cool. But my hangryness makes it so that I'm skipping a lot of pictures anyways. As I mentioned, I really wanted to take more photos, and this would really be my only opportunity in the museum, so I ask my mom to charge my phone using her iPhone 14, which is at the about the same percent as my brother, around 60%. I only needed a little bit of charge to make sure my phone won't die for the rest of the museum, and for communication. My mom says no, as does my brother, since they don't want to take of their cases. Because of dust- my brother. Because I said so- my mother. I suppose it's understandable, but considering the potential dangers of NY and a great need to be able to communicate when separated, they were kinds benign, ridiculous reasons. That seemed even more so during my hangryness. I didn't want to risk my phone dying while leaving them, so I'm forced to stick with them. And since they aren't willing to get food or go with me to get some, or help me find a charger, or anythkng.... I'm stuck unable to do anything while constantly starving. Which I make sure they really do know. I verbally voice my needs and reasons. Anyways, it's always nonsense and ignorance, so I decide f it and leave them to find a food court. Oh, no point, the museum closes soon. Okay, plan b, charger in the gift shop. No charger. Time for any more pictures? Not really, plus too risky bc of battery. Okay, so I leave. I sit down at the water fountain at the exit, text them, and wakt. For minutes. The museum is already closed and they aren't coming out. They text me and tell me they're waiting for me at an intersection. My phone's at 2%... a potentially dangerous situation. I meet em, voice my concerns, and FINALLY, we get food. Because 'I'm hungry' was what they said, but they also said they're finally hungry too- key word finally. They had no priority to get me food, showing they take priority for their own hunger; it's not like I could risk separating from them now to get food myself when my phone's about dead. I had to be dependent without a real choice; I don't know my way around the city and definitely don't feel like talking to people.
I need food asap. My stomach hurts a lot from hunger, which I verbally tell them (I also start really noticing a growing sore throat that started in the museum, and tell my family I'm starting to get sick- I can feel what's to come), yet rather than letting me use their phone directions or leading me to the nearest food place, my brother takes us past many food places (I'd leave them and go for one, except neither of them would join me, and my phone's practically dead, so we might not be able to find each other if we separate, so I have no choice but to follow them) in order for us to go to a particular food booth. My mom values my brother's wants over my own needs. I know they're particular needs, hence why I was elaborating and saying them aloud. And now they're annoyed at me. They make small comments as I begin eating, such as "You should be happy!" and "we're on vacation!" In sing-song voices. I leave them and move to somewhere to eat alone, telling them not to bother me. Oh, they do, a few comments, because they never stop despite any number of times I tell them, so I just stay quiet and aggressively motion for them to stop. They luckily do and I'm able to eat relatively peacefully, despite my boiling blood and them interrupting me near the end of my meal that they're going. So I have to throw away the rest of my meal since I have to stick with them and they won't wait, and they wouldn't be able to wait without constantly rushing me and making comments, so oc I've gotta go. Luckily, they finally take me somewhere I needed to go... that also happened to be somewhere my brother WANTED to go. An apple store. Thank. Goodness. While there, I try charging my phone on an empty display magnetic charger, looking around to be sure it was okay to do. Charge symbol flashes, so I set it down and test an iPhone 14 while waiting. Hehe my camera better- me while scrolling through preset photos taken by the iPhone. Anyways it turns out that the magnetic charger did nothing, but luckily downstairs, apple had the charger I needed, so I spent $40 and started charging while waiting for my family to look around the store. They finish and tell me they're going to a nearby church for a reason I can't remember, and I tell them I'm gonna stay and let my phone charge, not even realizing the church has outlets, not that it matters, now that my needs are met and I got food and charge- all the way to 40% by the time they're ready to leave the church and meet up. I thought we'd be going home. As I exit the Apple Store, done for the day, my muscles, especially near my head tense up painfully and I begin shivering a lot whilst feeling cold and suffering a massive headache. Oh boy, I shouldn't be this sick this fast. I better get home quick. Luckily after a block it stops, and after heading towards the subway I thought could take us home, they tell me they're somewhere completely different. I eventually find them via Google maps and we take the subway to a crowded, lit up section of Manhattan. I'm starting to feel really unwell, so I decide it's best not to separate from my family. I make sure they know I'm serious about going home asap. As we walk to a corner of the block and I'm confused as to why we're not taking the next subway home, which would've been down in the same subway station, my brother apparently realizes he forgot his cheap sunglasses in the apple store, which is almost closed now. I tell him, my mom also telling him, that we should just wait until tomorrow, and I add especially because I'm getting reaaaaally sick and almost can't stop shivering (bonus points to my mom for saying "well, you don't LOOK sick"), have a headache, muscles ache, etc, but nope. Brother wants glasses so entitled bastard gets glasses. I wait while my mom calls the store to make sure apple still had em (Why didn't brother call them himself? He's a big boy). Of course I'm getting really annoyed, anxious, impatient, etc, but ofc them being them, don't realize and do nothing about it, despite me explicitly stating my literal needs. Apparently apple still had em, so mother and I go into nearby shop (really fun stuff, I wish I felt good so I could properly enjoy it) while waiting for bother. For 45 minutes. It feels like hours to me. I keep telling my mom let's just go, I can find our route with Google maps, and big boy bother already knows his way around the city since he served a mission. But nope. Mother insists we wait. So wait we did. I'd go myself, but if I haven't said it enough, I can't leave them. Not just because my muscles are weak and I'm concerned for my own safety, but because despite them leaving me on several occasions, I wouldn't want to leave either of them that way I could make sure they're safe. Anyways my brother gets back finally, and instead of prioritizing my very real and very serious need to get home asap, he decides he wants a shirt that I happened to get. So we go to the shirt booth. And I wait. And wait. And tell my brother to hurry, that I REALLLLLLY got to go, I'm sick and getting physically weaker, shakier, achier by the second, so much so that it's hard to physically conceal and I'm surprised no stranger mentioned anything. And then I wait, and wait, and tell him again, warning him I might say something mean if I have to wait too long, and then I wait, and wait, and warn him a third time that it's his final warning, I really gotta go and I really will say it soon as I get a proper chance. So that waiting was about 30 minutes. I then spend another hour waiting. Felt like so many days. I'm watching around for shirt thieves while bored, looking at phone occasionally, and then decide to help shirt folding guy by observing the way he folds and copying him (he was very good and efficient, I would need many hours of practice to actually get the folding right, that he was doing 99% of the time at a consistent pace). I'm opening my mouth as little as possible, not talking to anyone unless absolutely necessary, and turnikgnaway from everyone, to reduce any chance that others could get sick. Oh, you thought the accumulated 3 hr wait was long? My brother wanted to shop more after finally picking out his shirt. Luckily, my mom actually stepped in for me and helped me finally convince him to let us go. I am pissed at my brother at this point, he made some other comments about me to make me really want to slam his head into the wall. But no, I just resort to slightly 'accidentally' step on the back of his shoes- his not nice shoes- 3 times. Of course he's super pissed and him and my mom make me stop. My mom verbally says to me "don't do anything physical." I would never actually hurt my brother. Or anyone, for that matter, no matter what they do to me. Even in self defense I would consciously do the least damage possible. The fact my mom simply doesn't trust me for something so small and obvious, especially in public where it really is obvious just hurts, in accumulation to everything else. The fact they see little to no wrong in what they do, and shine a beacon on even the smallest things I do astonishes me and hurts. Anyways, we go on the subway, take a long walk to our car, and I have to wait 30 minutes while my brother is on the phone since he's our stick shift nighttime driver; my mom hates driving at night and I don't know stick shift, so I have no choice to wait. Oh, did I mention I started really having to go to the bathroom during the walk? I told them, too. So I realllllllly need to get back home. I'm sick enough and just really got to go now, too. But nope. Bother's forking not-even-girlfriend that he barely knows, that he came on this trip to literally see, comes first, even via phone. I ask him if it was important, he said yes, I asked how important, he said "she was having trouble with a friend," I ask if it was life and death importance, because at the rate my symptoms are at, not to mention my newfound dinnertime hunger and thirst, and my need for a bathroom, there could be a very real chance of death, and it's so much more important. My mom just waits on my brother hand and foot though. Oh, she's similar to my brother and has her own wants too. She was rushing my brother on the phone (with me), not for me, but because target was going to close soon. Fucking target. We can't go in the morning? I'm getting weaker by the second. THEY KNOW BUT THEY DONT CARE. It's so fucking appalling how awful they are. Anyways we eventually get home. And part of the worst part happens. Because of my emotional distress at this point, my symptoms are enhanced to the point I'm to shiverry and spasmy and dizzy and achey and weak to walk, let alone balance. And yet, despite them seeing me, and me telling them I need help, they take no initiative and I'm just so hurt so I tell them to leave me alone and just go. And they do. So I spend 15. Minutes. Trying to walk about 700 feet, leaning against nearby obstacles for when I uncontrollably shake. I have no doubts I look a lot like a drunk. A lady comes up and asks if I need help, but I'm 300 ft or so away and I don't want to get her sick so I say no, I just need to go there, but thank you, and point to my destination. Her security guard drives by (she apparently owns the place), and also asks me if I need help; I'm not really thinking straight and quite dizzy, and every sound and sight is slurred, so I thought I heard him say I can have a ride after I point to my destination, but then I make sure he knows I'm sick, and anyways whatever conversation we had, I end up walking the rest as the guard makes sure I arrive safely. As I near my destination, I see my family just outside the door and I start trembling more, having to brace my knees in the middle of the street every couple steps to keep my balance. They don't help. I'm in tears, because I mean, who wouldn't be at this point? They probably still think I'm faking it all
And they probably still do, days later. My occasional trembling stopped except for once in a while near them, but despite all my tribulations and minimal ability to walk, they don't so much as offer me water. Or bring me some when I ask. Even on my birthday the other day my mom hardly did anything, and my brother did nothing. Theyve made no moves to try and fix things, and have no doubt dismissed the whole situation, expecting forgiveness but never 'repenting,' and put it behind them. Maybe I didn't hear then, but they didn't so much as say sorry. Hell, they barely left me alone when I asked. Especially on my birthday. I wanted to watch the new Spiderman, and would have alone if not for me being sick and needing a ride. I'd wait and watch it a different day even tho it was my birthday, because I wouldn't want to risk getting others sick, but they already bought tickets. So I couldn't say Later. My birthday hardly felt like a day at all. I hate my family.
Sorry for the long comment lol, just had to put my raw, jumbled, nonsensical thoughts somewhere
Additional notes- I have autism, and I'm half deaf in both ears. My family does not care enough to take the time to accommodate or understand my specific needs. This corrupt religion enhances their inconsideration

Hello everyone. I don’t know where to begin but as you can see by the title, it’s been pretty rough. It’s basically been downfall after downfall. This is pretty long so please bare with me. This week has been full of torment. To start off, I decided to go to a party with the remaining money I had left in my bank account. I really just wanted to cheer myself up as the past couple of months have been really hard. My two friends were going and we really just wanted a night of fun to get the summer started.
It started off pretty okay but as we were on our way there, my platform sandals broke and I had to walk barefoot in the middle of a pitch black forest. Dangerous, I know but it was a well known underground party that I go to all the time and luckily I didn’t scrape my feet or get any bites. During the night, the DJ kept messing up and people were starting to leave. People kept aggressively hitting on me and I started to feel uneasy. My friend then got the good idea of giving me her socks as I told her I wanted to leave early. I decided to go to my now ex-situationship’s house just to crash. He didn’t really want me there but the buses and train don’t run in my area until the morning so he was my last resort.
While I was going there, I almost got assaulted on the train. The only reason why I went in that specific cart was because I saw two police officers and only one other guy so I thought I was safe. I wanted to dose off a little as I was buzzed and extremely tired. After a couple stops, something told me to wake up and that’s when I saw the police weren’t there anymore and the other guy was walking towards me. I quickly gave him a death stare while putting my hands in my purse to make it seem like I had some type of weapon. He backed off a little until I realized he was unzipping his pants. At that moment I felt true terror and ran to the door. I was close to my stop and all I could do was stand in the corner while freaking out. I got to my stop and a lady started yelling “He was doing something in there!” and asked If I was okay. After some time I luckily arrived to my ex’s house and was totally out of it. My phone had died and all I wanted to do was sleep. I told him I didn’t want to do anything in terms of sex but he wouldn’t listen and he never does when I say no. At that point, I made up in my mind that I was never going to see him again.
I slowly ended things with him after that night. I was with him for nine months. He took my virginity and breadcrumbed me the entire time. I honestly think he was an evil man with bad intentions and I gave him benefit of the doubt even though he hid from me that he had a kid and an ex-wife. Plus he gave me an infection (I’m good now thank god). I feel like the most stupid person alive but he was my first and I honestly thought If I were to ever get into a relationship, I would be the one to have good boundaries but I guess not. I know better now. I was emotionally checked out of it for a long time as well.
So I went on hinge. I was getting ghosted left and right, up until I met this guy that I thought I hit it off with. He actually seemed to be willing to take me on a date and we were super excited about it. The day comes (which was yesterday morning) and he texted me saying he “partied too hard” and wouldn’t be able to make it. I said it was all good and we could reschedule but no response. That would’ve been my first date ever, in my life. Ya… The guy who took my virginity never took me on a date… Sad, I know.
Another thing is, I lost my job about almost a year ago and I’ve been looking ever since. Obviously to no luck but then about a month ago I basically got fake hired at this food service job. They gave me the offer on the spot during an interview and I started training about a week after but the second week rolled by and they gave me ZERO hours. I’ve been trying to contact them by calling and sending emails but they went completely AWOL. Now you’re probably wondering maybe I did something that could’ve caused this but honestly and truthfully, I didn’t cause any problems and was actually the most reserved person on the whole team. I’m very shy. Maybe they just didn’t see something in me I guess. So now I’m still looking.
On top of all this mess I’ve been struggling with my parents as they want me to go to college so badly. I’m not good at school at all. I have chronic ADHD and it’s hard for me to do things and no, this isn’t an excuse either. In High school, I never did my homework because it would take so long. One homework assignment from one subject would take all day. I specifically remember doing math homework one day because I felt such guilt from not being able to do my homework. I sat down and did it but my mind would constantly wander. It would take me a long time to concentrate. I would constantly have to re-read the questions and my answer. I’ve been trying to get help for myself but I don’t have money and my insurance isn’t good. It doesn’t cover psychiatrists and therapists that are for ADHD or autism. I need medication for my ADHD, depression and anxiety before I could even think about going to school.
All this to say, I haven’t been going out with friends or texting them as of recently. I feel too much shame in my life to have a good time anymore. This is just the tip of the iceberg as the past 3 years have been continuous hell. I feel like a waste of life and I seriously think about ending my life everyday. I have no one close to me. No one I can reach out to. I’m only trying to stay alive because I want to give my little brother a better life but this is just too hard. I have zero passion in life. I try new hobbies and get a little hopeful but then I start to feel empty, burnt out and crash. Every. Single. Time… I’m just in pure agony. I’m deeply sorry because I know for a fact I sound insufferable but there is undeniable pain here.

I just made Master rank with a total of 171 games played with 15 wins and 70 top 5 games. For reference, I went from Silver 4 (after my 10 placement games) to Diamond 4 in 113 games. Certainly Diamond rank was the more difficult to get through since running into more masters and predators.
In past seasons, I use to be able to go from Gold 2 to Diamond 4 in about 110 games. I have gotten Diamond every other season except for the first season of ranked only got Plat. My overall lifetime KD is nothing crazy just about 1.3. Although I will add that I am 47 years old, play on mouse and key (800dpi 1.5 sens and inverted vertical!) and have close to 6,000 hours in! I enjoy apex legends like no other game.
My point here is like other have expressed the ease of ranking up now for this season. We are going to have a bigger distribution of Master players now for next season. I am wondering how this will play out. I am sure the developers will make some adjustments, but maybe they will be happy with the ranked results. It seems like the higher ranked games in diamond 2 and above I wasn’t getting any kill bonus or points just placements, even though I scored kills and assists.
I will say I didn’t mind going against predators and even to have TSM Verhulst play on our team once while he solo queued. We won that game with him leading every charge, never seen so my quick rotations, he dropped like 15 kills and 4.2 dmg. So much fun!
I have enjoyed the end ring circles much better now, and didn’t have problems with team mates ratting of anything like that. I played with another team mate and sometimes a full stack.
Lastly, I will end up to keep playing Masters ranked to see how for I can go! No desire to plays pubs now. The new ranked system is the step in the right direction. Thanks respawn and reddit community.
Any questions, let me know!