Michael landon last words

Hi Guys, This is a long one so get your popcorn... I (23F) and my boyfriend (23M) have been together for 5 months now. He has been a great partner with the exception of a few spats we've gotten into. He's gentle, kind, and very loving towards me and i am not ashamed to admit that im very in love with him. Though when he is upset with me, he has a very difficult time taking responsibility for his actions/words. Yesterday day we were "netflix party-ing" a show and texting each other with thoughts, since we dont live together, when he suddenly stopped replying. I messaged him asking if we were going to continue watching the show and recieved no answer. I decided that he mustve not noticed his phone go off with the message. It had been 45 mins since the text with no reply so i called. The call goes normally and he informs me that he was, in fact, still watching the show and he didnt see my messages. I jokingly mention how I now have to catch up (something i dont mind at all) and tell him to text me as im about to start doing my night routine. **we always text before we go to bed and send "goodnight" texts whether or not we were on the phone prior** I leave my phone in my room and go take a showedo everything i need to do for the evening. this took me about 30 mins. I return and noticed he had never answered. Concerned, i called again. This time the conversation was anything but normal: he responded very angrily. Im paraphrasing, ofc, but the jist of it was: Me: Hey whats wrong? everything okay? Him: my god you didnt even give me the chance to f***text you back bro give me two f**** minutes yo. youre so f**** annoying. You always do this. You always have to have some sort of F******* issue bro. Me: oh....okay? goodnight i guess? Him: *Hangs up* I texted him and asked him what his problem was to which he responds and immediately deflects and starts saying i am overreacting. He then stops answering completely. The last message sent from me was at about 10:45pm It's important to note something here, I have very severe anxiety and had recently weened off my mediciation (with doctor's supervision). I havent been feeling myself these last couple days, something i believe is the result of getting off the meds. but to make a long story short, i am in a very heightened state of anxiety. My boyfriend not only knows this, but has been helping me through some of my panic attacks. Like anyone else, I have always had my insecurities in our relationship, usually revolving around the fact that im always anxious/annoying and it irritates him. This phone call confirmed it. The messages after the phone call ranged from me asking what was wrong to fully panicking that we were going to break up. This led to a very very severe anxiety attack. Hyperventilating, crying, shaking. I ran into the shower, hoping the warm water would calm me, so i ended up on the floor of my shower, water washing over me, while taking deep breathes. At around 3am i dragged myself to bed and fell asleep. I know to some this may sound like an overreaction, but not being on medication has really made it difficult to control my emotions, specifically my anxiety. I have intense abandonment issues and an anxious attachment style. What he said was literally my worst nightmare coming true. This morning, i recieve a text message from him asking me what had happened last night. Confused, angry, and hurt - i told him what had went on and proceeded to tell him never to speak to me again. He tells me he has no recollection of this conversation and that he only remembers the first phone call. I asked him how that could be so when I recieved 2 text messages from him after the second and last phone call. He doubles down on not remembering. Throughout this entire day, he seems irritated that i can't let this go. He refuses to take any accountability for it, though has said "sorry" to (i believe) just shut me up. I love my boyfriend but his words hurt me very deeply and his lack of care today has only made it 10 times worse. I dont know whats going on or what i should do. Please, any advice would be helpful.

IMO, specifically the "brand-new shoes" part. When it came out, music critic Robert Christgau wrote:

[H]ow come her Somalian woman "hurts like brand-new shoes"? Is that, er, "metaphorical distance"? Are we supposed to clap now?

Guy was not feeling it, apparently.
Anyway, he may have been asking rhetorically, but I think it's a good question. Why brand-new shoes? Why that specific simile?
I mean, it could just be that Sade is just that materialistic. She's so pampered and privileged that her only point of reference for the pain of poverty is the discomfort of breaking in a new pair of heels. But I don't think so.
I see "Pearls" as using something like Hegelian dialectics. In Hegelian dialectics, there're three stages that an idea passes through:

1. thesis
2. antithesis
3. synthesis

The thesis is the main idea. The antithesis responds by contradicting it ("but..."), and the synthesis responds by resolving the disagreement and coming up with a form of the idea that's stronger or more complete than the original thesis was.
Does that make sense, two readers that are still here and haven't smashed downvote? Awesome.
Anyway, the thesis of "Pearls" to me is something like, "Here is someone's pain. Touch it; see it. Maybe some good will come of understanding it." I think the critics would more or less be with me on that, even if they disagreed with some of the specifics.
The next part, the antithesis, is the opposing idea. Here it's symbols of the opposite of poverty: pearls and new shoes. Why would those symbolize rice and the pain of existence? To me, it's the narrator going, "Here I am, and there's you. Here are our necklaces and our new shoes. We're scrambling to get those, while this woman is struggling for the basic necessities."
I think the critics would be mostly with me on that, too. But I feel like they stopped there even though the meaning keeps going.
The last part, the synthesis, is important, because it's the difference between "this is sad" or "this is out of touch" and something more. The synthesis ties together the thesis and the antithesis and creates something new and bigger than both of them. In "Pearls," that's done through the music. The music agrees with the Somalian woman's pain, and then it connects it to the narrator's materialism in an interesting way.
Musically, "hurts like brand-new shoes" is sung to a melodic phrase that stops on the tonic of the scale. The tonic is where a scale ends. It can create the feeling of "show's over, time to go home!". Effectively, when used with this lyric, it sets off the words from their surroundings, almost like putting them in a display case. But at the same time, it creates that feeling of "we're done, nothing more to see here." In a sense, it drains the emotion from the phrase, leaving it flat and colorless. It's like Sade is de-valuing the new shoes while emphasizing them at the same time. It's like, "Hey, think carefully about how unimportant these are."
The meaning of that to the listener is interesting. Because the pearls and shoes are about us, along with Sade, it's like Sade is pointing the finger at us and herself and saying, "Look at us. Look how unimportant our trinkets are." It's a reprimand. Almost a sermonette.
The result is to bring the Somalian woman's experience into sharper focus. Now we're not just looking because we're touched by her struggle...we're also looking because we're appalled by our usual indifference. It's a double underline. It's Sade's way of making the story twice as meaningful, of shaking herself and her listeners out of complacency. And it's quite well done.
TL;DR: "Pearls" isn't out of touch, is self-critical to enhance impact, something something TED talk

So I just need to tell someone about this. I refuse to talk to the person I actually need to talk to until after the weekend is over.
So I work in a restaurant that delivers food, and sometimes customers tip the people in store, as well. Sometimes if a customer tips a driver really well (like 20 dollars or more), the driver will decide to share some of that tip with the people that made the order.
Well, a couple of people have started to get greedy. Whenever a driver has a delivery with a big tip, they'll demand that the driver split the tip with them a certain way. Now keep in mind that the drivers make, like, 3-5 dollars less than people in store, and that's because the drivers also get tips. So with the people in store making 12 an hour or more and the drivers making less than 10 no matter how long they've been working here, the drivers make most of their wages from their tips.
Not just that, but they've also gotten greedy with tips they get in-store. Each shift we work should only be closed down once per shift, right? Apparently that's wrong. The greedy coworkers have decided that they want the shift closed down again before they leave so that they can get the tips that have been left in the last hour (which is like 3 dollars btw). And keep in mind, we never shut down the morning shift twice before. They've only started doing that a month ago.
So because I've seen what's been going on and I know how the drivers felt on the matter, I contacted the franchise owner. The only reason I didn't contact the general manager is because he doesn't really care unless it affects him in any way. And I've spoken with the AGM, but he would've had to speak to the GM first. So, I contacted the owner.
I told him I didn't want to sound like a snitching child for bringing this up, but these things have been going on for a bit. The drivers are, understandably, getting resentful because of it, and I know it's only going to get worse unless he puts an end to it. I told him I understand both sides of the situation, but I sympathize with the drivers more because they still have to upkeep their vehicles, and cars are expensive. What the greedy coworkers are doing borders on illegal.
Well, I got a response. The owner said he'll put something in place to prevent this situation and thanked me for bringing it up to him. I told him it was no problem, but that I would appreciate it if he wouldn't mention that I'm the one that brought it up, my reason being that if word got out to those greedy coworkers, they would have more issues with me than they already have. And I know that if they know, it's gonna cause some serious backlash.
But what I really want to know is if I did the right thing. In my heart, I had the best intentions, but I know that's not how others are gonna see it

12 days ago I threw all my vape stuff out after a few weeks of reducing my consumption levels. Been 100% nicotine free since then (besides one single piece of nic gum 4 days ago).
Day 1 was brutal. Day 2 was a bit easier. Day 3 was slightly easier as well. But I feel like since then I’ve plateaued. I keep waiting for it to get easier but everyday I’m getting 3-4 episodes of incredibly intense cravings that last 20-30 minutes. Ive been mentally strong through it all. No interest in relapsing…until yesterday and today. When the cravings have hit the thought of saying “fuck it” and buying a vape have reentered my head. Haven’t gone through with it yet but I’m worried I will cave.
I thought this was supposed to get easier the further I got into this. Feeling fairly demoralized and frustrated right now.
Would love some words of encouragement and personal anecdotes about the struggles and triumphs of weeks 2-3 post-quitting.

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It took Nathan a week to get back to Silverlight. At some point someone had updated its registry designation with an actual name. Nathan shrugged and accepted it. At Least it wasn't something like “new London” or something stupid.
In the week he’d spent a day in orbit connected to the ISS slowly towing it towards the other station as a favour, it did represent a large amount of resources that they would otherwise not be able to bring to the larger station, and the astronauts aboard were more than happy to have gravity back, even if it messed with their experiments.
Another day was spent on the station making sure the guild species onboard had enough mana to work and were all happy with their treatment. The first part left Nathan slightly drained but the second part left him mentally tired. They had a long list of things they needed and a doubly long list of things they wanted from the guild which would at least give him an excuse to send a cargo ship on the journey back to Earth. From there the next few days were spent hopping from habitable planet to habitable planet on the way to Silverlight, spending an hour or two jumping from system to system before spending the rest of the day practising with magic, resting on some tropical beach or lush rolling grass plain. The Rest and relaxation was much more successful than his efforts at using his mana for things that didn't need tools.
Once they were back at Silverlight, it was a case of catching up on what Dakota, Nostradamus and his ship captains and crew were upto. Dakota was close to ready to send the loaned soldiers back to earth and the base camp had more than tripled in size. Now having a core of buildings around the two massive trees looming above the prefab buildings, off to one side a clearing had been made for ships to land with a thin cargo tram line going from the dock to the town itself. There were enough supplies down there to keep for months without the voyager but for the foreseeable future they’d be reliant on its systems and everyone was loath to risk the ship by stripping out some valuable system.
Nostradamus and his students had probably been the busiest group. So much so that Nathan directly informed the Lizard to slow down and take a day to recover when they met, the Lizard had been spending every bit of mana he could from Nathan's borrowed Opal without it making him sick to conduct his research, he’d filled a grimoire already and was working on a second and his students were all notable tired from how hard he’d been driving them to learn everything they could. At some point the lizard had opted to his both his ship and one of the Quilo prise ships put into orbit as the Voyager would soon be leaving for Earth, all but a few escort ships and cargo ships would also be staying, either working to mine material from a distant asteroid belt for the colony or ferrying material down for it…the combat ships were mostly docked but a Fed cruiser and a group of escorts were above the Colony to protect against anything unexpected.
Nathan waited until the Voyager left for Earth before he finally ran out of things to do. He got ready and left the colony with Jim for the clearing he’d spent the night in when they first started up.
He’d asked Sophie and Shayma if they wanted to come along but both declined, only Cave had come with and even he wasn't in the clearing, waiting respectfully at the edge.
“You can still change your mind.” Nathan told Jim, he’d said the same or similar things over the last week but Jim had just smiled his sad smile and reassured Nathan that he was sure of his choice. And that the other guy would be much better help to Nathan going forwards.
“Im good kid, I’ll miss you but…I want this.” Jim replies standing in the middle of the clearing next to the leaf covered stone Nathan had slept against before. “This place feels right though.” he adds.
Nathan nods, it did feel right. The clearing had grown since he’d last been here, the silver mana slowly spreading into the earth and through the plants. “Alright….alright…” Nathan says trying to prepare himself.
He dry swallowed a few times until finally saliva came and then he cleared his throat, took a shaky breath and began.
“I Lord Nathan wish that my friend and Djinn, Jim, be reborn. I wish that he become the God Wodin who he embodied in the past. I wish that the god he becomes, be the protector of my people so they may grow strong. I wish that he be empowered by my people, by their belief and hard work so that as we grow so does he.”
Nathan paused to take a breath as tears streamed down his face, his voice caught and he quickly swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing. “I wish that he be free to act within the domains that will be his, domain’s of power, war, wisdom, nature, protector of the fallen and guide to those who aspire to achieve greatness or die in the attempt…I wish…I wish that he finds himself content in his duties and in the efforts of those who one day may choose to serve him.” Nathan finished and felt a thrumm of power from the kettle as it began to grow hot in his hands.
Jim stared at Nathan and slowly began to glow in golden radiance until he was painful to look at, unable to bear the bright glare or the heat he dropped the kettle unaware that the moment he did so it vanished into golden light and flew into the being coming into existence before him. His own attachments being the last thing keeping it as it was.
Suddenly the calm clearing was struck by a violent bolt of blue lightning. It struck Jim’s glowing form, the power cracking through and around him. Across the planet Silverlight, its skies lit up, Nosdramos and his students felt the monstrous eruption of mana and quickly sent their magical sights out to view it as bolts of magical lightning coalesced at a single point before exploding out to cover the planet.
On earth a brief rainstorm sprung up across the day side of the world, distant thunder rolling across the skies, the night side people reported sudden lightning strikes and a brief but violent storm waking them up as the dark skies were lit up by lightning. The aliens on the station would report a surge of mana from the world that shouldn't have been possible with the ambient mana.
Back in the clearing Nathan had both hands over his ears to protect them from the constant strikes of lighting, the force of the continuous strikes bringing him to his knees, even so he muttered a few words, their sound robbed from the universe as the lightning strikes reached a peak and then just as abruptly…stopped.
Before Nathan could properly recover he felt a large heavy hand on his shoulder giving it a reassuring squeeze before he found himself hauled to his feet. He looked up at the kind middle aged face for a moment before the being in front of him turned around, picked up its spear and in another flash of lightning vanished from the planet.
Wodin looked down on the world that was his to protect and nodded. He had the memories of someone not him. A low creature that spent its life in service to others, then trapped beside a river starving but unable to die, and finally a few short years with a good friend. This person had given Wodin existence at the same time they had gained their freedom in death. He could feel the layered wishes that had formed him coalescing together still but there was one that was kept apart, it wasn't part of the group that made him but it could be if he wanted it to be. He gathered it up in his free hand, looked at it and the intent it had been made, it was an honest wish, spur of the moment, desperate and hopeful in equal measure. But most importantly to him. It was a good wish and he accepted it as part of himself as much as the others.
He made a note of the world below, not that he could forget it but his domains and his gifted memories were working together and he knew he had a job to do. He turned his attention away from the planet towards another location. There was a gathering of beings like him and he could feel their call to meet them. He would go to them and introduce himself…but first…
Nathan shuddered from exhaustion as the figure left. He’d done it and he was exhausted, and he was responsible for the death of his best friend.
He collapsed again, curling into a fetal position and sobbing great shuddering breaths. He lost himself to exhaustion and sorrow until a deep rumbling voice broke through his self absorbed misery.
“You loved him.”
He took a shuddering breath and uncurled enough to see who had spoken. In Front of him was a tall man covered in beard and thick hair, armoured in studded leather a rune engraved cloak resting around his shoulders and a great silver-gold spear resting on his shoulder.
He took a few more breaths as the god waited for him before moving, instantly there was a pair of strong hands lifting him up to his feet and then he found himself being sat down on the large leaf covered rock at the centre of the clearing. Wodin, because who else could it be, nodded then apparently self conscious, looked around before sitting down cross legged close by.
“What am I to you?” Wodin asks.
“I don't know…I…”
“If I may” he interrupts “…You and Jim. created me. He gave his existence for me. But he could not have done so without you. In a sense he is my mother…Father.”
“I am not…ready” Nathan was about to deny being Wodin’s father but he wasn't ready to risk losing the last part of his friend.
“No one truly is ready to be a father.” Wodin says with a brief smile. “I have to go now. I may not manifest like this often. You can’t feel it but Shayma is probably scared witless right about now, Gods are not meant to interact with mortals. But I’ll be around.”
And with another flash of lightning he was gone.
Nathan was still for a minute, still exhausted from granting so many wishes, except the more he felt it the more he realised he was something else, something other than mana exhaustion. It was like he had stretched something to its limit and he had to wait until he recovered naturally or risk it snapping. Carefully and painfully he moved his presence out feeling the effort and how it was different. Like working your arms after walking all day. Yes his legs were tired but that doesn't mean he cant move his arms.
“So no more wishes for a while.” he mused. “Or perhaps no more wishes that are going to have such an impact…” that sounded more correct. There was probably only mana right now preventing him from wishing for a fresh bowl of strawberries to appear in front of him. But wishing for the Quilo race to suddenly vanish or the mudlarks to suddenly be gone.
He filed those thoughts away for a moment and instead sat there breathing in and out until he felt good enough to walk for a bit. Ultimately he’d achieved what he wanted. He’d made the wishes and created a god. One that considered him, its father…
“Shit, how am I going to explain this to Sophie…”

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Its space Sirens y’all! Coming to lull you in and take your life away!
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
He was so hungry, lying on the floor of the cage, his hand dangling through the bars, he listened as his stomach left off a round of mournful gurgling.
The mournful gurgle turned into a low grumble and then a distinctive angry howl. His mouth was dry, and he did his best to wet his lips with his tongue.
He could only imagine what the others had been feeling when he first arrived.
No one had been feeding them, and here he was, lying around in a pathetic heap, though he was still watered and fed to some degree. Arguably the amount should have been sustainable if he hadn't been sharing with the other prisoners. He knew it would only cause more problems for all of them in the long run, but he couldn't bring himself to eat while others starved.
Below them on the Prodigum's open floor, Sunny lay curled up against one wall with a line of other prisoners. He had no doubt that she could have broken out by now, but she wouldn't, not as long as he was here at least.
Adam rolled onto his back to stare up at the ceiling of the cage. A plan had been forming in his head, though whether he could get a message to Sunny was a different matter. He mostly hoped that she would be smart enough to go along with it, or smart enough to go along with it and help with her own plan, if his plan failed.
What was his plan?
Well, that was an entirely different matter…
Honestly it was a pretty stupid plan, designed based on complete conjecture and hope on his part.
Not only that but it pretty much required that Sunny had the ability to read minds, which in itself was stupid, considering their only mind reader was most likely a couple million light years away.
He sighed.
"Ready to start again, commander?”
He closed his eyes against the voice and tried not to groan. He did not want to keep going with this, but he knew he had to.
He rolled onto his knees and looked over at the other cages, where the voice coach and the drummer were watching him. The two of them had been there longer than him and were much closer to the verge of death, though since his arrival they were at least getting something small to eat and drink.
"I'm ready."
His voice was hoarse, and He was forced to clear it.
At least his throat didn't hurt today, a fact that he owed all to the voice coach.
"Remember keep your posture straight, but not strained, breath all the way down and into the belly, don't rely on the chest. The posture of the mouth is the most important aspect of a good singing voice."
He leaned his head against the bars with a sigh.
This was not something he ever thought he would need to learn how to do, especially not in order to save his own life.
There were plenty of other things he had imagined needing to learn. On the floor below them, he watched as Sunny watched him, her sharp gold eyes curious as she watched the two of them working.
She would have no idea what his plan was, and he couldn't tell her. It was known that there were members of the serving staff who were loyal to the Prodigum, whether it be out of fear, Stockholm syndrome, or loyalty.
He idly wondered what the others were thinking.
He wondered what Sunny was thinking.
He wondered if tonight would be his last night alive.
If he would die he would make at least sure that it would be to save Sunny.
[…]
The clients began filtering into the room.
Slaves were brought forward for auction, most of them rather worthless, burned out from ears and years of use, but occasionally he would throw in a piece from his own stock knowing that the perceived value of one slave would drive up the price of another.
Lights began to flash and pulse around them at his behest.
He liked the flashing lights, they tended to confuse some of the other species, making them dumber and more likely to buy irrational purchases.
It was the same with the music, though speaking of which… where was his music?
In anger, he turned in his place, shuffling his great bulk over the floor with great halting movements of his arms and the shuffling of his back legs.
The little tentacles below his chin waved in the air, tasting it. He could taste the human, so it's not like the creature was out of his sight.
Ah there it was, in its cage as usual.
It was standing defiantly looking down at him. The ugly little creature glowered at him, its tight skin stretched over bone and lumpy muscle skeletal and strange with its flexible rubbery body.
He hated humans, though they were at least good for one thing.
…
Singing.
He wasn't entirely sure how they did, but he was more than jealous.
He really wished Prodigum could sing…
Though he was already working in one of the backrooms on a little project to help with that hinderance…
Of course, he didn't know this, but the Prodigum were more readily affected by human species than a lot of the others.
Where it targeted the Vrul's sense of pattern recognition and overloaded their brain, it directly impacted the emotional cortex of the Prodigum.
Singing to him was an addiction.
One that he had not yet admitted to himself or anyone else.
The human still stared at him its slimy white and green eye, blinking once or twice. He shivered in disgust, but slowly turned to look at the blue Drev. She would fetch a nice price if he were ever to sell her, and he hoped the human understood his intentions.
They were at least smart enough for that on most occasions.
He saw the human shoulders sink just a bit.
Then without further urging, it began to sing.
The Prodigum leaned back slightly, as the sound washed over him bringing with it a wave of melancholy and sadness.
It felt so good,
The fold of his face trembled with delight.
All around him the other clients stopped to look up at the human.
Was it just them or had its voice gotten better, more hypnotic?
[…]
Behind the Prodigums back Sunny flexed her hands.
She was ready for whatever Adam was planning, for she knew based on the looks and small gestures he had been giving her over the past few days that he was planning something.
However, the night went on, and although Adam's singing voice had markedly improved, she sensed nothing changing.
She shifted nervously in her cage, looking over to where the Prodigum sat on his back haunches, his large arms resting beside him, a glassy expression on his face, or at least as glassy as an expression could get when it looked like a pile of melted dough.
…
That was strange…
She glanced around at the others, aliens in various stages of debauchery, sort of lethargic and wobbly.
She glanced up at Adam…
He looked down at her, letting the last note of the song he was using fade off.
She nervously shifted as the aliens began to shift and move.
Then the quiet human in the far cage began tapping his hand against the bars. Adam cleared his throat. The female human began to hum softly.
How interesting…
The effect was almost immediate.
Adam took one deep breath and made eye contact with Sunny.
And then he opened up his voice, cutting through the fading clamor like a blade made of diamond–rising from the upper chest and throat in a way she didn't think him capable, quivering at the top as the others accompanied him.
His voice was full, but filled with pain as he poured in emotion like a damn, breaking to spill water into a canyon. The drummer beat out a soft rhythm behind him.
As he continued to sing the voice was so sad, so pained, that it almost made Sunny want to cry.
He gripped the bars with white knuckled hands, his face contorting with the words not bothering to mask whatever emotion he had dredged up to make a sound like that.
Beautiful and sad.
He dropped low into his chest his voice ringing powerfully over the walls before dropping into softness.
He leaned his head against the bars.
She had a tough time looking away.
What did someone have to be thinking about to make a sound like that?
The beat stopped behind him, leaving just his clear voice ringing out through the room.
She was forced to shake herself from her reverie.
When that song ended, the next one began his voice –quiet– filling the room as she slowly stepped back out of line of sight from the others.
No one was paying attention to her.
If she could just make it to the door, then maybe she would be able to find a way to get a signal out to the others.
Her movement almost notified someone, but at that moment Adam dropped his voice low, adding such a powerful hint of sadness in it that it nearly broke turning his voice to a soft rasp.
The creature could barely keep its feet.
Off to her side the Prodigum had practically melted onto the floor.
She had almost reached the door, and he brought his voice higher, the rasp still in it. It took everything she had to keep moving towards the door, and not to turn around, to be captured in the pain and sadness that he used to glue the others to their places.
Again, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of memories you had to dredge up to sing like that.
It was almost painful.
She had made it to the door.
She reached out to open it as the door opened and light spilled inward, he again reached upwards with his voice, cracking the barrier between him and the others. His voice began to splinter, but not unintentionally, actually quite on purpose, fracturing like ice.
She ran out into the hall.
She froze in place for a second, running face-first into another Prodigum.
It looked as if it was about to attack her, but when the voice washed over it, there was nothing it could do but follow the sound.
As the voice filtered out into the hallway, the same effect remained true. Others began following the sound in a dazed trance barely acknowledging her as they searched for the sad voice, so clear and powerful.
[…]
He leaned into it, eyes closed, trying to dredge up the emotion he needed. He needed to give Sunny time to work. He needed to keep their attention. But the more he thought about keeping his voice in place, the harder it was to hold.
So, he tried to ignore the need, instead allowing the emotion to roll into his body strong enough to make his face tingle and shivers to run down his face.
Tears sprung to his eyes, and he tried to hold that feeling allowing his voice to crack at just the right moments occasionally looking down at a slowly growing crowd absolutely entranced.
Behind him, the others were trying hard to keep up.
The door had opened long ago, but there were still forms trickling in.
How long would he have to hold this before someone noticed that Sunny was missing?
He tried tor as long as he could, he really did, but carrying that amount of emotion was difficult, and eventually it faded away. He still kept their rapt attention with his voice, but they were moving again, looking around at each other with confused expressions as if they were trying to figure out what had happened. The Prodigum lay almost passed out on the floor looking on in a strange mixture of confusion and contentment.
Like he was high as hell.
He had no idea how Sunny was going to do this worried that she had gone to her death.
Someone would notice her eventually, wouldn't they?
He wasn't sure how long he was going, hours or not, but eventually he lost the strength of his voice and the surrounding room went back to its normal routine using him as a simple background.
He had done all he could, now it was time to find out if Sunny had made it or not.*
[…]
”If it would be up to me, that bastard would be so fucking dead, like series bullshit, fucking laws! Why can’t we just off this motherfucking motherfucker!?”
The door hissed open, and the Prodigum turned his groggy head towards the light spilling across the floor.
He was surprised at that moment as a small shape scuttled into the room.
”And all this bullshit about I how I should stay logical, I don’t FUCKING care! I’m sick of this bullshit! The marines get to kill people all the time, but if I ask if I could bathe a goddamn Prodigum in acid and they say “nooo you can’t to that its unethical”… Fuck off!”
A Vrul?
But those didn't come here?
Number one they couldn't stand music, and number two, they were never involved in the slave market.
”Fuck off goddamn ethical laws, its not like they uphold them!”
The strange sight pulled him out of his trance enough to get up and scoot in that direction, to find out more about this uninvited guest.
It was a small creature, a brownish grey in color with large orange prismatic eyes.
He wondered how it was still walking, but then noticed the large noise-canceling headphones it wore.
”Really I am so fucking done! Fine have it as you want I will NOT kill him… there are other ways to give him what he deserves…”
It scuttled closer to him, pausing at his feet before looking up.
”Hey asshole!? Yes I am talking to you!”
That was strange, it didn't seem scared?
But the Vrul were always scared!?
"Are you the proprietor of this fine establishment?"
The Prodigum was totally baffled about what was going on and just answered truthfully.
"I am."
"Jolly good."
The creature said, reaching out with a hand and gently tossing something in his direction.
The Prodigum flinched for a moment as the tiny devices stuck to his arms legs and face.
"What is that?"
”What you deserve bitch!”
The little creature raised a hand and pressed something with a click.
His world erupted in pain, as lightning and electricity surged through him.
And then the world turned black.
[…]
Dr. Krill stood over him, hand still, still every now and then pressing the button as humans and Drev erupted into the room from all angles.
”I hate the fact that because of YOU Adam got captured AGAIN!”
He pressed the button again.
**”I hate the fact that because of you I had to captain a FUCKING human ship for two weeks, you hear me!? TWO WEEKS!!!”
Another button press, followed by more painful twitching from the Prodigum.
”But do you want to know what I hate most of all?”
He leaned down to the twitching Prodigum, holding down on the button.
"I…”
”HATE…”
”Fieldwork!"
He looked up from where he stood,
"You are ALL under arrest."
Another Prodigum hissed:
”You can’t just do that!”
”Oh, what I can’t do is surgically cut you a thousand times and then bathe you in salt, because SOMEONE apparently decided the Geneva convention should also apply to scumbags like you. But what I can do is arrest you fuckers! Just watch me!”
”Wait what was that first part?”
"Thank your gods I didn't have final jurisdiction."
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

Current applicant here! After going through my T20 university's premed advising and volunteer helpers at various training stages, I realized their advice was just way too generic and was not helpful in making me the competitive applicant I wanted to be. I finally went with an admissions consultant to put together my primary application and lemme tell you, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR GAME AND MENTALITY. Given the negative sentiment on this sub toward these services, I wanted to put an alternate perspective out there for those curious and who are lost/seeking help as I did.
The first thing I want to say is people def seek help/these kinds of services it's just that they tend to hide it/not speak about it. THERE IS NO GATEKEEPING HERE. I seriously wish someone just honestly told me earlier in the process how helpful it is to be coached and helped through this application process so I just wanted to share how my experience is/what I've realized as a current applicant!

1. Time spent getting to know me, my goals, and reviewing my entire application resulted in a cohesive application package. My consultant spent the first couple sessions just getting to know me and my goals. We went over my entire application, including my school list, stats, LoRs, activities, etc before going through my personal statement. This allowed them to identify my "X" factor, which was something I did not even think to emphasize when I was planning it myself. They expertly created a narrative for me by telling a story through my activity descriptions and personal statement. We then strategized which other points we are going to use secondary essay prompts to get across. On the whole, because they got to know me, heard me talk, and read my writing, they preserved my voice throughout the application writing, but in a way that made it sound even better!! This last point was a major distinction from my volunteer reviewers, who all basically re-wrote my essay with their own writing styles which did not sound like my authentic self at all. When we submitted it I was extremely satisfied with the final product (check back in for results later this cycle!).

2. Their experience as a professional admissions counselor was evident relative to successful applicants on this sub with n=1 experience. I realized that most people volunteering their time, both online and in my university, are either fellow pre-meds or successful applicants with n=1 experience. It was clear from talking to my consultant that every case is different and a lot of common advice comes with exceptions. In addition, my consultant had a network of medical students and residents who kept him informed on their anecdotal results that he used to complement his own experience. To the point commonly made that "everything you need to know is on reddit and sdn," these sites are honestly tedious to navigate for those of us who don't spend excessive time on here. In other words, rather than reading 1000 posts to form a blurry picture of reliable information, I had certainty that I was talking to someone who knew their stuff and were credible.
3. My consultant went through this process recently and had incredible insight into how my writing would be interpreted by different types of readers. Related to point 1), my consultant explained to me how these applications are reviewed, including what types of people generally review them. This helped me to frame my writing in a way that was both understandable and sophisticated for a broad audience. Another point that came up is that a lot of the medical stories and terminology I used in my writing were incorrect, which is something I would not have known on my own. It seriously changes how you frame certain experiences after speaking with someone who is in the field.
5. Value. If you add up the cost of applying to med school & preparing for MCAT just one time, let alone doing either of those multiple times, as well as the associated opportunity cost of delaying training, paying a premium for maximizing your chances makes sense.
7. Would have started earlier if i'd known about it! I wish I had known about the services for underclassmen to help arrange ECs & build relationships and connections for future LoRs etc.
Disclaimer:
I totally understand that not everyone has the resources to afford this service and I'm not saying that this is the only way to have a successful cycle. But if you are able to afford it, I highly recommend it. The application process at the end of the day is really complex but the details and nuances that you include in your application really makes it stand out and gives you an edge. I could feel the difference in the strength of my application even after just submitting the primaries! If there's anyone else out there who is in the middle of your cycle or preparing to applying next year, and you're feeling lost, generic etc. please please give this a try, because so far it's been worth it for me and I'm tired of hearing people hiding and gatekeeping the professional help they've received.
My DMs are always open if you wanna chat/ask about anything in particular!!

Long post so please bear with me 😆 For context I am neurotypical (I assume) and she is diagnosed with ADHD and takes medication intermittently. We are both 22 years old. I am finishing college and so is she, but from what I know she is planning on dropping out and working instead. We are now broken up.
It all started a few weeks ago. Everything was normal between us, no fights or anything. She even said I love you that day (she doesn’t say it often so it’s extra sweet when she does). Then all of a sudden, the next day, no chats. She always had a habit of disappearing from our chats (we only see each other once a month), usually for a day or two, so I wasn’t that much worried at first. I thought to myself “Oh maybe she wants some alone time, I can respect that”. So I continue sending messages on our private discord server so she knows I’m here to support her and am waiting for her with open arms. I send memes, good mornings and good nights, and other stuff to possibly cheer her up. Normally, she’d reply the day after and fill me in on what happened and how she’s feeling. But this time there was nothing. So I waited another day. And another. And another. I even texted her saying I’m here for her, I’m worried, and just text me back when she feels like it. Next thing I know it has been a week already and of course I am worried SICK. She has NEVER gone this long without chatting me.
A little over a week, maybe 9 days of no contact, she sends me one message. It said that she’s “sorry for dissociating, she was job-hunting and she’ll get back to me but she can’t stop the momentum now”. It gave me mixed feelings, to be honest. Of course I was ecstatic that she was okay, and even more so that she’s finally progressing after being in a long “slump”. At the same time I was sad, because I was so worried, so anxious for her for more than a week and her nonchalant message made me feel like I was overreacting to her absence. But I cheered her on and wished her luck, because I was genuinely so happy for her. I thought to myself, “I’ll express my emotions when she’s free, because right now she needs to focus on her job applications”.
And then the next day she sends me another message. She has a job interview near my university tomorrow and she can visit me after class. I literally jumped from my seat when I read that 😆. We chatted for a few minutes and I said we could have a picnic. I’ll borrow a picnic blanket and bring some snacks for us. She said okay! Obviously, I got so excited. I even wore all my new clothes for our picnic. The next day comes, and while I was in class I received a message. She wanted to cancel our picnic because she didn’t consider how long her interview would be, and she asked to reschedule our picnic two days after. I was devastated and I asked her if we could push through because I already had plans the day she requested, but I understood that her job interviews were much much more important. It wasn’t her fault at all.
Two days pass, and she hadn’t replied at all. It was already the day she wanted to reschedule so I messaged her to just send a text if she wanted to meet, because I’ll just be nearby. I wished her good luck on her interviews and all, still no reply. I try not to be smothering and only send her 3-4 messages a day. I knew she probably wouldn’t reply, but a part of me was hoping that she would and that our picnic date would go through. It didn’t, and I ended up returning the picnic blanket to my friend. When I got home in the evening I told her I missed her and that we should talk soon, but still, no reply.
By this time, I was so frustrated, because I’ve been seeing her sharing memes and commenting on Facebook posts while absolutely ignoring my messages. I know I shouldn’t hold a monopoly on her time, and she deserves to spend it on what she wants, but at least send me something to soothe my emotions? Or literally send anything at all, even just a good morning. I had expressed my emotional stress in my messages throughout her “absence”, so I was hoping she’d give me literally any words of affirmation. She had said back then that I should speak up when I felt neglected, and she would drop everything to cater to me, so that’s what I was trying to do for so many days to no avail. But STILL, I knew it was an important phase in her life, jumpstarting her career, so I gave her some slack.
However, I could not go on at the expense of myself. I felt so detached from her, so unworthy of her attention that she couldn’t even spare me one second of her day. The next day I messaged her on Facebook so I’d be sure she read it. I told her that if we didn’t talk later that night, I would assume we were through. Just an hour later I realized I was being too rash, so I messaged her again to take back my last message. Instead, I told her that I would send her a long message and I would give her a week to think and process her emotions about our relationship moving forward. In this duration, I would not send her messages and leave her to organize her thoughts. Sure enough, she read it, but she didn’t send a reply.
I sent her my long message later that night. I told her that I loved her and while I recognized her efforts and was proud of her starting her career, I could still not accept the neglect that she had made me feel in those past two weeks. I knew that she was probably hyperfixated and focused on job hunting, but knowing that doesn’t really take away from my emotions. I told her we should work as a team in managing her ADHD symptoms so that it doesn’t affect our relationship. I made sure to be appreciative and loving to her in the text, since I understood that she might be apprehensive if I was too hostile. She read this message a few hours later but alas, still no reply.
I waited a week just as I had said, still no reply. I just could not take it any more, and with what little self-respect I had left, I sent her a breakup message. I told her how hurt I was that she would not give me the bare minimum, and how I didn’t want to beg for her love, or even just a glance from her. I mean, I am her boyfriend. I don’t think one message a week is enough. I really thought she would say her goodbyes when I sent my breakup message, but she didn’t, she just read it. That’s what hurt me the most, that she would just let me walk away without even talking to me for one last time.
It’s been a week since I’ve broken up now, and I still love and miss her. My question to you ADHD women out there, was I too harsh? Was I lacking in understanding? Was it a “me” problem? Is it normal for ADHD women or ADHD people in general to ignore their partners for days/weeks? I want to be fair to her as much as I can, since she’s already got a lot on her plate managing her ADHD. And while I know my ex-partner’s ship has sailed, knowing your opinions might help me in my future relationships, and my understanding of ADHD in general. Thanks!

So as you can see by the title my “partner” (29) and I (21) split up to take some time apart. It was his idea for the break. To start it off we’ve been dating for a month and in the beginning everything was great until last week when he was acting odd. Not communicating as much. Being distant. At the time he told me work has been the problem. Fast forward to Tuesday I caught him on grindr and confronted him about it. He said he only logged in that day and hasn’t done anything. Then today he says he wants to take a break so he can figure out his issues because he has mixed feelings about being in a relationship and doubting it. He says he’s going through personal problems too. He’s trying to find a new job and possibly move because of a bad situation that went down at his job. He would like to be friends and hang out still until he gets his stuff figured out but I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. I’m confused. I’m still trying to process all of this. I wish we didn’t talk about this through text. Should’ve been in person or on a phone call. I just don’t know what to do. I’m not sure if I should get back with him if he decides to start over in the future or just be friends again or just cut him out for good. Some wise words about this would be very much appreciated
TLDR: my partner wants to split up to take some time apart because of personal issues and his uncertainty of our relationship and and I’m confused on what I want to be to him in the future

Throwaway because my GF knows of my main account.
So I was out at a gay club last night, at one point I was on my own and I was approached by a friendly seeming gay guy. I explained that I was straight but he was persitently hitting on me, he pointed at his cheek and I thought that if I kissed him maybe he would leave me alone, which I admit is probably not very clever. But being a pushover and a little intoxicated I did, then he indicated that I do it again but this time as I went to kiss his cheek he turned his head and our lips touched. I know right, I fell right into it, anyway after this I stopped entertaining him and he finally left me alone.
I recounted the story to my GF (we've been dating almost 6 months), she felt it was my fault for encouraging him, I feel that I never consented to kissing him on the lips although I was very naive in the situation. I let that slide. Later in my conversation with my GF I brought up wanting to kiss her (we are doing long distance) she then asked who is a better kisser, herself or the person that groped me?
Am I right in feeling it's a bit gross and that she shouldn't be jealous in this situation?
Thank you for reading. I'm not sure groping is the right term but it's the best word I can think of.
TL,DR I got groped and my girlfriend is jealous of the guy that groped me.

Sorry in advance for the length of this post, but I can't let it all just keep festering inside. Apologies for any typos.
Life has been hell lately and it's left me dwelling on something I really need to get off my chest.
When I was 12 I began being raped by a "friends" father. I won't go into all the details, but he first used coke, then eventually meth to keep me coming back. Make me willing to degrade and humiliate me in ways I can't allow myself to recall. When they surface I drink until I'm comatose.
The rape, torture and humiliation ended when I turned 14. By that time his wife had left him, taking his son along with her. To this day I don't know if I'll hug him if I see him or beat him to death.
In any case, that made him spiral, he'd always been a "functional" addict. Good at feigning normalcy while a monster his behind the mask. That mask wasn't on when I was with him. He nearly killed me strangling me with a silk scarf multiple times. Stuck needles in my feet. Between my fingers, sodomized me with objects when he was too high to rape me himself. Every session ended with him giving me something to keep me high till the next time. Like clockwork, when I ran out, I went over and he was literally expecting me.
This time was a bit different. He told me to come over the very next night. (I usually went over between 10 and midnight and snuck back in at 3 or 4. I always came in through the back patio door, but it was usually closed, unlocked, but closed. Tonight it was wide open. He didn't like me speaking unless told to, so I silently went through the house. It didn't take long to find him in the bathroom, dead. He'd overdosed. I didn't even touch his body. I just left.
I left in tears, sobbing. Because he'd fucked up my perception of love and intimacy that I genuinely thought he was my lover. Not my rapist, not my sadist.
I was saved, I was finally safe. I was also heartbroken and suicidal. When I got home, I tried to cut off my own penis with a pair of scissors but only ended up with a slice and a lot of blood. Then the detoxing started. After 2 years of stimulants and forcibly going cold turkey with only a basic understanding of what was happening to me. I was a wreck. I'd leave the house all day and just hide away from people crying in drainage ditches or off trail at a nearby park.
This all happened at the beginning of summer, by the time school started again, I was able to stay stable with the help of copious amounts of weed and Robitussin.
But it was my secret, my burden. My parents never knew, my friends never new. And I quieted the trauma by immersing myself in things that interested me. Easier to not think about yourself when your mind is focused on history, or physics, or world religions. It worked for far longer than it should have. But there was a darkness I was keeping at bay. I craved the feeling of being used, being hurt, being humiliated, being raped with no ability to fight back.
I liked women, and men, but I never pursued relationships because I could never trust myself enough to be who I wanted to be around others. Some of those friends I wanted to become lovers I pushed away and burned the bridges I had between them, all because I hated who I was, who I still am to this day.
Eventually I got sober before the drinking killed me. I opened up to my family about what happened, got therapy, got medicated. I even found kink communities I can enjoy myself at from time to time.
But in spite of all this positive progress, I still feel trapped. Destined to a life where the best I can hope for is being kinda okay most days.
Be comfortable being a deviant and damaged goods. And most of the time that's okay with me.
Now I'm not so sure. A dear member of my family nearly died and will be in the ICU for months in total before and after receiving a heart transplant. During the transplant she had a stroke and can now barely speak. It's killing my father taking care of her but he's too stoic to be vulnerable.
Then last week I got a massive amount of dental work done, 13 teeth pulled and 2 bridges. Less than a week later my backpack was stolen with the bridges inside. $3000 worth of dental work gone in an instant and it feels insignificant compared with everything else in my life.
Everything is fucked up and the world's on fire, and at times like this, all I can think of is the last time everything was fucked up and my world was on fire. I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails and I just want to let go. Grab a handle of vodka and jump in front of a train.
But I have a family that loves me in spite of all these scars, inside and out. I have nieces and nephews I want to watch grow up and have a normal happy life. One where there's not a monster of self destruction lurking deep inside. People I can guide away from my own mistakes, protect from the monsters that left me black inside.
But it's so hard right now. I never thought I'd say this, but I want to go back to just being depressed. Feeling nothing but emptiness is so much better than this.
So for now I just try to keep moving, day by day, hoping it gets better. I wish I was doing it for myself, but it's for all the others in my life. My mom, my father, my stepfather, all the kids in my life who I can be a positive influence on. I genuinely don't care about my own life, but I care about hurting them. But I just don't know how long that will be enough to keep me going.
Anyway, if you've read this far, thank you and I'm sorry. I'm not looking for advice. I just needed to put all this shit into words. Something about doing so helps.
To end this, all I can say is hold onto the ones you love. Sometimes they're the only ones keeping you from falling into that void. You matter to them, even when you don't matter to yourself.
That's all, Im off, I need a cigarette.

Two days ago I lost the most wonderful and important man and role model that I've ever known. My grandad was a true gentleman in every sense of the word and we both had an unspoken special bond. He left us on Thursday morning and he took part of my soul with him. The only other time I felt this level of deep pain was 5 years ago during the loss of my baby and my partner leaving me 3 weeks afterwards. I do not know how I have gotten through the last 3 days. Yesterday my entire being felt like it was being ripped apart. The level of sadness I feel at losing my wonderful grandad is beyond anything I anticipated, even though I had 2 weeks to prepare for what we knew was coming, I think I was still in denial and a little flippant. Until it actually happened. How am I supposed to continue on without the person who has been the strongest constant in my whole 36 years? He bought nothing but joy and love. And now that hole is so huge and black, I feel hopeless. I feel like a lost little girl without him. His house and car are there as normal, but he isn't. It's wrong and nothing is as it should be. He was the one person in my life I have always been terrified of having to say goodbye to and now it's happened, all I want to do is be with him so that I never have to let him go again. This pain of being left behind is unbearable.

Please ignore the fact that the singing isn’t great. I have a very hard time finding my own tone as well as the right key if I’m not singing with the song directly or if the song is out of my range. So in this video you can see me trying to figure out the correct key (I guess) for the chorus of this song. Is the last key what I should be in but actually push it while singing?
Thank you for your feedback and please no harsh words about the singing itself because I’m never self conscious. 💜

Big brothers are Alexander James, Dominic Joseph & Michael Christian.
I literally can't figure out a name for their baby brother... I feel like I already used all the good ones! Hubby likes Benjamin & Theodore.. They're OK but I don't LOVE them like I want to love his name :( maybe a strong middle name would help?
Can you please give me some thoughtful suggestions! I really want to love my last babes name but I'm so lost!
TIA.