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I've read anecdotes about trained remote viewers who have noticed side effects after practicing and improving their skills. Joseph MacMoneagle is known to answer questions before they're even asked. Someone on reddit said (paraphrasing), "I look at someone and I immediately know what they're thinking", like basically they had instinctive and immediate mind reading ability on an every day basis.
I'm reading Ingo Swann's "Everybody's Guide to Natural ESP" (which I highly recommend), but in it or the last book I read by him, he explains how he believes there's an ESP core, and it's been an error that parapsychology and people in general believe that ESP abilities are separate in a sense, and that they all come from the same place. It seems culturally we place different psychic and paranormal abilities in different buckets, but if I'm understanding him correctly, it's all linked.
One ability that is considered paranormal is "manifestation", like putting energy out there to manifest some improvement to your life, financial success usually, finding a job, maybe even meeting a new lover, or plainly just getting out of a rut and finding happiness. In the gateway program, there's "patterning" which is essentially this. At a basic level there's affirmations, where some people might write down on paper ten times "you will succeed at your interview", etc. Essentially manifestation, whether they consider it paranormal or not.
Has anyone noticed an ability to do this, or tried to and have had success? Do you feel like you've been able to manifest anything in your life, in any form, and that it's stronger after your RV training?
As the other person had mentioned, anything regarding mind reading or just knowing what someone is thinking or who they are before you talk to them?
Precognition? Like do you get a feeling the next day you'll get good news or something and it happens, or anything more specific? Knowing someone will call before they do?
Healing? Remote healing, or the sort of healing in the gateway tapes, maybe purple light etc.
Or at a serious extreme, telekinesis? I've only read rare anecdotes about this, never seen proof, but we've probably all heard of levitation among yogis etc.

I went for the “Discussion” tag as I wasn’t sure which one fitted. TL;D at the bottom.
So context time. In the UK, from the ages of 16 to 18, you study for A-Levels. Most people do three or four subjects — in my case, Mathematics, Further Mathematics, Physics, and History (yes, one of those is NOT like the others). They’re generally regarded as pretty difficult to do; in some ways they’re harder than university as although content is easier, you’re learning a much broader range of topics (at least, this is what I’ve heard). The grades you get which are generally from your final exams (some subjects, like my History, have a slight coursework element to them) allow you to go to university. For example, I want to study Mathematics at Bristol, and my offer is A*AA, meaning I need to get two A grades and an A* from three of my four subjects.
Exams started for me last week. History on Wednesday morning was good, as the exam featured 55/80 marks (2/3 essays) on my favourite topic. Physics in the afternoon was… alright — the grade boundaries are brutal so what grade you get out the other end is a lottery. The first Further Maths exam was the Thursday afternoon. Maths is, like, my thing — special interest numero uno or maybe dos (trains, because trains) — so I was really looking forward to it.
They put us in the library for the exam, which is a change from the big hall they hold most exams in. Lack of space I guess. It’s a very visually noisy space, and it wasn’t exactly acoustically quiet either. During the 90-minute exam, the school bell went off four times causing us all to jump out of our seats. Kids were shouting and playing football noisily right outside. The SEN area was next door and someone was having a meltdown and screaming for 20 minutes. People tried to come into the library twice. A lorry idled noisily again right outside for a solid minute. All of this sensory stuff was incredibly unhelpful. The paper was also genuinely tricky — I’ve done past papers and this one was probably the hardest I’ve seen.
About 40 minutes in, I just… froze. Never felt anything like it. In hindsight, I can tell that it was a meltdown — part stress, part sensory overload — but honestly in the moment it felt more like a panic attack. I had to stop for a minute or two, which given the exam is only 90 minutes long, was not ideal. Also, fun fact, having a meltdown in an exam where you HAVE to remain silent is not fun at all. Even afterwards, my hands were shaking and it was difficult to concentrate and I’d have to type things into my calculator three or four times over. I was really unhappy. I actually felt the post-meltdown “wonky” feeling I get for most of the rest of the day.
Although I’d had the worst experience, none of my three classmates were happy either. We all went down to the school’s central office where I essentially read them the riot act; backed up by my teacher who said that she’d never seen me nor one of my classmates in that sort of mood before, as well as by the exam invigilator who actually beat us down there to report the disruptions. They’ve agreed to apply for special consideration — basically, compensation for exceptional circumstances like this — for the three of us (my autism WILL be mentioned in my application; the person in charge of it is also an SEN person) and to move our future exams out of the library. This still didn’t change the fact that I was panicking that I’d potentially messed up 25% of one of the most important of my A-Levels.
The following day (Friday), my teacher and I went through the paper. Bolstered by her attempts at it as well as what people online were saying, I went through and worked out how many marks I was likely to have got on each question. It was actually much better than I initially thought. It’s still put pressure on the other exams — moreso than I would’ve liked — but the A* is absolutely still on if I put in the work. I’ve decided to focus on the two things I’m proud of from this experience:
1) I managed to do a question on one of my least favourite topics. Sometimes, they’ll give you an elaborate situation and ask you to set up a differential equation to describe this situation before solving it. I don’t like these simply because there’s a lot to keep track of, it’s very easy to miss something, and it’s not obvious how to proceed. I’d actually said that I hoped one of those questions wouldn’t come up. It did. Having checked with my teacher and with what people were saying online, I’m fairly confident that I got the right answer; despite the fact that I did this question after the meltdown.
2) This brings me into the second thing. Despite the noise, despite the sensory overload, despite the meltdown… I did it. I kept going. I finished the paper and was able to answer most of it. Was it easy? Hell no, probably the hardest paper I’ve ever sat in my life — more due to circumstance than the content, though it was a difficult one. But I did it. I set myself up for success with the remaining three as best I could, and managed to solider through. I’m proud of myself for that.
TL;DR — I sit really important exam in visually/acoustically noisy environment and have sensory overload/meltdown. Later, I reflect on it and realise that despite the issues I had, I probably still did pretty well. Proud of myself for soldiering through it.

I’m an MS4 that fully matched DR this year. I had 21 interviews for DR and matched my top 3 for both DR and intern year. I wanted to share some of my thoughts/reflections/things I wish I knew applying into diagnostic radiology this past cycle. There have been writeups in the past but in the era of virtual interviews, mass applying, and record application numbers, I thought I’d talk a little about how I think the application landscape is changing for radiology and my lowly n=1 opinions on how rads hopefuls can prepare themselves. This is colored mostly by personal experience so obviously take it all with a tablespoon of salt. Everyone’s story is different, I’m just sharing what I learned from my journey.
This year, there were 0 unfilled spots for DR and 2 for IR (those spots were programs that didn’t participate in the main NRMP match cycle, and one nucs med spot that’s being internally filled). For reference, the only other specialties that also filled completely were ortho and Plastics. Neurosurgery, ENT, and Derm all had unfilled spots. This isn’t to suggest that DR is now more competitive than those fields (it’s not, those fields are still far more self selecting and you don’t need to be proficient in softball to match) but just emphasizes how cutthroat the field has gotten in the past couple of years.
Disclaimers: I’m writing from the perspective of a (low tier) USMD. If you’re a DO or IMG, you can probably learn stuff from this info as well but truthfully I’m not fully familiar with all the extra hurdles DOs and IMGs go through to match DR and I don’t want to espouse misleading information for you guys. Connecting with matched DO’s and IMG’s on the discord or spreadsheet will be in your best interest. Also, I only applied DR. The broad strokes advice may still apply here but IR is pretty different in terms of your application and approach so if you’re gunning for integrated IDR you may not glean much from this.
--------------------------------Application Foundations--------------------------------
School Rank: Yea no shit this matters. In general USMD >> DO >>>> IMG except for a couple programs that are IMG heavy (Mercy catholic, Yale bridgeport as examples) No, this isn’t Yale’s main program you prestige whore If you’re at a T20 why are you reading this. You’ll match by virtue of existing. Go outside.
DOs and IMGs really struggled with the match this year and it will not get better. If you’re a premed reading this and choosing a school and you’re at all interested in DR or any other competitive specialty then attending an MD school with an attached academic centehome program is your best bet.
Step 2
With step 1 now P/F this will be the big number programs use I think. My general benchmark estimates:
Sub 240- would consider this to be a genuine weakness/borderline red flag in your app, I’d make the effort to compensate in other areas of your application
240- will probably put you among the weaker end of radiology applicants, but not unworkable
250- baseline goal you should shoot for, basically the average range of matched applicants
260- a great score, theoretically makes you competitive for any program in the country depending on the rest of your app
270- 🤓
If you fail step 2 or step 1, your app is dead in the water.
I’m gonna get like 50 comments saying shit like “well I know xyz student who matched UCSF rads with a 196!!!” yea well as you can see by the length of this post scores aren’t everything. Anyone can match with anything theoretically. But these score benchmarks at least let you get an idea of your competitiveness relative to the rest of the pack, which is important for building the rest of your app. Bottom line: P/250 should be ok as a USMD. P/260 is ideal tho. DO’s should shoot for P/260 as a baseline I think.
DO’s- take both steps. Yes, even though step 1 is P/F. This is non negotiable. Programs do not give a single shit about COMLEX even if their site says they accept it.
Clinical Grades
Don’t need perfect grades, but honor as many as you can. Do whatever is necessary outside of academic dishonesty. Practice your head game. This isn’t a guide on how to honor rotations, those exist elsewhere. Honors in big rotations (IM, surgery) mean more than smaller ones. How much Honors vs HP vs P impacts you depends on your school’s grade breakdown. If you’re High passing when 45% of your class is honoring that’s less than ideal. If only 5% of your class honors then HP is fine. If you’re Passing and your school is P/F then you’re chilling. DON’T FAIL A CLERKSHIP. You probably will not match. If your school publishes shelf grades in your MSPE, don’t fumble those. Avoid shitty MSPE comments and try to get those scrubbed from your record.
Preclinical Grades
Don’t matter as much as clinical grades, especially if they don't factor into AOA. Doing well in preclinicals doesn’t hurt though, and being bottom quintile certainly won’t help. Don’t fail anything. Probably not as big of a deal as failing clerkships but you don’t want any red flags in your app no matter how small.
AOA
Nice to have. I was AOA and had several programs comment on it. If you’re squinting for patterns mostly community programs and lower tier academics actively mentioned it (“Congrats on AOA” or “I see you’re academically strong, since you’re AOA” and comments of that ilk were what I heard). The big name programs I interviewed at did not mention it, so not sure if they care. If you’re gonna rant about how AOA is a diversity award/popularity contest go soapbox somewhere else. You definitely do NOT need AOA to match radiology (the vast majority of people that match don’t, I was the only rads match from my school in AOA). I’m just commenting on my thoughts on how much it impacts your app, not making a political statement.
GHHS
No one gave a shit. This is a mickey mouse award
Research
Do something. This isn’t ortho, you don’t need 20 first author papers in the field. But do something. Does not have to be rads related, unless you’re gunning to match Stanford/UCSF/MGH/NYU or the like. For reference, I had several pubs/presentations/posters in non rads fields that were based on interesting clinical/translational studies. I also had 2 first author radiology case reports. Every interviewer asked about the clinical projects. No one mentioned the case reports. Obviously rads clinical research would be the ideal, but the point here is to not only demonstrate academic productivity, but to have something interesting/memorable to talk about in interviews. 20 case reports isn’t a conversation starter. Original research, even in another field, is a conversation starter. Original rads research is harder to do as students generally can’t read scans which is a big part of most studies but if you can swing it it’s awesome.
Can’t comment for sure on numbers, NRMP says like 8 total items which sounds about right. I’d try to do like 1-2 clinical research projects (in any field, no need to be super anal about radiology) and then fill the rest with case reports. ACR case in point is a good place to pump those out if you have a good mentor (RIP RSNA case reports). Radiology Case Reports has a publishing fee but turnover time is like 1 week so you can really go hard in that journal if your department pays for it.
Former surgical subspecialty switchouts/dual apps, you’ll be okay (I was one of those) Radiology accepts people like you all the time, including residents that match these fields then regret it. I wanted to do a surgical subspec before rads and had a decent body of research in that field. Bonus points if that ENT work you did looked at imaging, It’s an easy pivot on interviews! Like I said before, this isn’t ortho. Research productivity doesn’t compensate for poor grades and scores, and you can’t kill an away like you could in surgical subspecs. So make sure your raw grades/scores are good as they build the foundation of your app. Good grades/scores with low research >> great research with shitty grades/scores.
Bonus: If any research work you did involved coding, statistical programming, or machine learning, try to swing it as a budding interest in AI. Many programs, especially academic ones, get their dicks hard the minute someone mentions AI/deep learning models.
Conferences: Unfortunately, networking is becoming more of a thing in radiology as is the fate of any competitive field in a world of less objective metrics. If you can present at RSNA or ACR or SIR or any other conference, absolutely take the opportunity. Introduce yourself to as many PD’s and APD’s as possible, plant the idea of your existence as a seed into their subconscious. If you have nothing to present, I don't know how much value these conferences would have though unless you're a rizz god or somethng. I can’t comment on this too much because I did literally none of this but if your above application metrics are weak then I’d highly recommend doing this. As a terminally online introvert with the personality of a cement block I think networking is cringe but you gotta play the game. IMGs/DOs should especially be trying to do this.
Extracurriculars/Work Experience
No one really cares about interest groups. No one cares if you worked in the student clinic. Programs do care if you did an interesting service/leadership activity. I had one cool service activity I did in preclinicals that got brought up in every interview (wasn’t rads related at all). Make sure you can speak well on what the activity entailed and how you personally contributed.
Nontrads with previous work experience, wear it like a badge of honor. It makes you more interesting as an applicant. I can’t comment on it firsthand because I went straight through but anything that makes your story more than “I was premed in college and now I’m in medical school” is gonna be a talking point on interviews.
--------------------------------Building your App--------------------------------
Letters of Recommendation
IMO the best setup for this is 1 radiology letter and 2 nonradiology clinical letters. Assuming all you did was a rads rotation and little else, a radiology LOR is going to inherently be weak. Students don’t do much besides shadow on rads rotations and everyone knows it, so what’s it gonna say? “Oh student X sat there like a good little boy/girl and didn’t fall asleep in the reading room please RTM them :)” -yeah not the best letter pal. Your clinical letters on the other hand can actually speak to your ability as a medical student so they can be more impressive. The specialty doesn’t matter too much, just make sure they can speak strongly on your ability as a future resident.
If you’re wondering how to get a good rads letter, the best answer is to do research with a rads mentor. Then they can say that you’re academically productive and worked well on projects which makes your letter nicer. If you do research with multiple rads mentors, that’s the only instance in which I’d get a second Rads letter.
How you set up your 4th year rotations should depend on what you need. If you aren’t sure about getting a good nonrads letter, do a Sub I, especially in IM or Surgery- I really really recommend this as a great way to get a good letter or two. If you’re a newer switch into the field do a rads rotation to get a letter. Honestly your rads letter is more of a checkbox at that point than anything else but having one at least confirms you’re not blatantly backup applying.
Dual/backup appliers should get try to get one rads letter from a rotation. Also, make sure your other letters don’t say how great of an orthopedic surgeon you’re gonna be lol don’t get snitched on by your own homies
Away Rotations
Ding ding ding the big million dollar question. You probably scrolled to look for this. I am of the opinion that yes, you should do an away if you can. This is coming from someone who didn’t do one. Now, they aren’t mandatory like they are for surgical subspecialties, but you should try to fit one into your schedule if you can. With step 1 going pass fail and the increasing number of apps, programs are looking for more ways to separate applicants from the flock. Away rotations can be your key. Some general guidelines:
1. DO A ROTATION AT A PROGRAM YOU WOULD BE ALREADY BE COMPETITIVE AT. Doing an away at a rotation at a program does not guarantee an interview. This may sound lame, but think about it- all you do on most DR aways is shadow, or maybe take an exam or present on a topic. That’s nice but it tells a program nothing about how good you’d actually be as a resident.This is why I made a big deal of being able to assess your relative competitiveness as an applicant. Use texas star and residency explorer to get a better idea of this- if you’re in the upper 25% of matched applicants statistics then it’s probably a good idea to do an away there. Don’t rotate at UCSF or MGH if you’re a DO or have below average stats- you’re not gonna get an interview and you’re gonna waste everyone’s time.
2. Aways should not take precedence over important application building rotations. If you need a non radiology letter and you’re debating between doing an away vs doing a sub I in medicine, the answer is the sub I. A strong application with no aways > weaker app with an away IMO. Getting letters from aways is hard to say. Do it if you don’t have a home program. Otherwise, it’s probably more valuable to build a strong connection to your home program and get radiology letter(s) there.
3. If you’re looking to match in an area that you have no educational/personal ties to, do an away there. If you’re from the midwest and want to match in NYC, do an away in NYC. If you’re looking to match to california and aren’t attending medical school there, do an away in Cali. Unless you’re a superstar candidate you will probably see poor yields in areas outside of your med school/hometown area so an away can help boost yields. That being said, rule 1 takes precedence here.
4. I don’t recommend getting LOR’s from away programs. The big exception here is if you don’t have a home program, in which case then you should. It’s just that these letters are probably gonna be mid at best and home rads letters where the PD/writer knew you for longer will probably be of better quality. Again, everyone is different-maybe you really really vibed with an away faculty and want a letter from them. If you are confident it’ll be a really quality letter, then go for it. But don’t strategize your app around getting letters from MGH or NYu or Stanford and thinking this is like surgical subspecs where you do aways at places for great letters- it’s not.
Make sure to apply early and broadly- it’s first come first serve for most programs. If you haven’t finished your app and submitting to programs already, you’re probably running late. Oops, probably should probably have submitted this sooner. This is what League of Legends does to you folks. Try to do research and ask around about what programs highly value away rotators. I have some leads but there are definitely many many others out there.
NYC- Mt. Sinai Icahn SOM- great away experience, gave interviews to away rotators
PA- Einstein Philly- highly highly values away rotators/demonstrated interest in the program
CA- Santa Barbara Cottage- gave interviews to away rotators, great “foothold” program into CA
CA- Cedars Sinai- another great “foothold” program into CA
Shoutout to these programs for doing the exact opposite:
Wash U St. Louis- rejected an away rotator 3 weeks into the away (per name and shame)
UMD- did not provide interviews to multiple away rotators
FYI both programs I listed above are great places to train at, and programs are under no obligation to give interviews to away rotators, especially in DR. Just know if you rotate there that you should prepare for this possibility.
Post-ERAS submission aways are probably still valuable especially early on in interview season. The only thing is that you won’t be able to get LORs from those but I think LOR’s from away rads programs are almost guaranteed to be mid at best so I’d recommend not building your app around those unless you have no home program.
Signals
The other million dollar question. This year apparently applicants get 6 gold and 6 silver signals. I think the best thing to do with signals is just send them to where you wanna go. I have no clue why anyone would want a silver signal, but I don’t think it’s worth the headache of trying to mindgame which programs are getting silvers and which are getting golds. Send your golds to the ones you really like, and your silvers to the ones you also like but maybe not as much. Don’t overthink it.
My only advice regarding signals is to NOT signal big name academic centers. UCSF, NYU, MGH, Upenn, etc do not put much weight into signals. They know everyone wants to train with them so they get their pick of the litter. Sending a signal to them is likely throwing your signal in the trash, especially if your application metrics aren’t at or above their matched averages. I think you get the most bang for your buck from signaling smallemid tier academic centers and community programs. That being said, I’m not your dad. Signal who you want.
PS ask your home program if they want you to signal them. Some don’t but others are dickheads and want one of your signals. Make sure you know.
Hobbies/Experiences
Damn i dont know what the fuck they’re smoking at AAMC with this change but I guess I can talk about it. Sounds like common sense but talk about shit that’s actually meaningful and you can talk freely and confidently/passionately about in interviews. Especially now since you have limited space. The student clinic you and 1000 med students volunteered at probably doesn’t mean much. Oh, you led the student clinic? Well that’s a lot better, you should talk about that. Activities where you took a leadership role are always gonna be more meaningful and interesting in interviews than stuff you were just a floater in. Gonna copy and paste a comment I made a while ago about putting research as experiences in your ERAS. Applies to any specialty I think:
Publications and "experiences" are different parts of your ERAS application, with Pubs having no cap. You can enter any publication as a "research experience" but you'll need to think a little harder about which ones you wanna put in.
For example, if you do a small filler case report and it gets published in a smaller journal, this is a publication and should be in your ERAS publication section. You could enter it as a research experience as well, where you describe the process you went through to get it written and published. However, this would not be a very meaningful experience and a waste of one of your ten entries.
Let's say you lead a longitudinal translational research project in your field of interest that gets presented at a conference as an abstract, and then subsequently published in a large journal. Both the abstract and the pub will, again, go in your ERAS pubs section. However, this would also make a great research experience to use in your experiences tab. You could talk about how you led the project, the role you played in completing it, where it was presented, etc. This would make for a strong candidate in your experiences tab.
TL;DR: Smaller filler projects are pubs but shouldn't be listed in experiences. Larger important projects should be publications and also listed as a research experience. Hope this makes sense.
I would highly highly recommend including some space for hobbies in your eras. DR interviews are like 80% hobby talk, 10% why rads, 10% random shooting the shit. You don’t need to have insanely interesting hobbies- even mundane stuff is great conversation food. I talked about TV (almost spoiled an interview on Better Call Saul's ending) and manga (Chainsaw Man my love) in some of my interviews. Just be sure you’re genuine in those interests and can talk about them. Don’t fabricate a hobby like underwater basket weaving to make yourself look cool because if you sound fake then that’s gonna be an almost instant DNR. My home PD told me a story of a great applicant they DNR’ed because he said he loved fly fishing in his hobbies section and our PD (who loves fly fishing) asked about it he couldn’t talk anything about it. because it was made up. Yeah, don’t do that.
Probably 2-3 hobbies and elaborate a little on each. Don’t just say running- were you on any competitive teams? Did you run a marathon/halfy/5k? Give some meat to it but not your whole life story.
Personal Statement
I feel very unconfident in talking about this part so I won’t say too much. I was told my PS was good but no one really commented on it in interviews. I think the 10/80/10 rule applies here- 80% of PS’s don't move the needle in any way, 10% are profound, 10% suck ass. You’re not gonna be in that top 10% most likely so just try not to be in that bottom 10%. Spell check, and don’t talk about how you wanna do rads because of lifestyle or because you “Like PUZZLES” -it’s generic as fuck. Have as many eyes on it as possible- your mentors, your friends, your parents, your parole officer, Dealer Jim- get as much feedback on it as possible. Just make sure it doesn’t suck or unintentionally reveal any personality disorders- that time you lit a live squirrel on fire and looking at the bones made you interested in Xrays is probably not a good radiology PS.
Conclusions/I skipped to the bottom
Rads is getting pretty competitive. I’d say it’s not on the level of the surgical subspecs/derm but probably the most competitive one of the remaining ones. It’s still not too bad if you’ve built a decent app- I’m not gonna hype it up like the psych and gas doomposters, but it’s not a walk in the park like it was pre-COVID. Especially if you’re a DO or IMG….
My spicy prediction we will see a small dip in application numbers this cycle- ChatGPT “concerns” and people realizing it’s not a safe backup may cause a small decrease in app numbers- but the process is becoming more opaque with tiered signals and more importantly P/F step 1.
TL;DR:
-GET GOOD STEP 2 SCORE. 250+ goal, 260+ ideal if you want to feel safer but I don't think there's really a safe score nowadays
-GOOD GRADES IN MEDICAL SCHOOL- honors and HP’s, don’t low pass. DON’T FAIL ANYTHING. Be top tertile/quintile/quartile/kitchentile or whatever your school does.
-DO SOME RESEARCH- a couple case reports and a independent project or two that you can talk about is your goal. Don’t need 10+ pubs like an ENT manwhore but don’t have nothing.
-DO AN AWAY AT A TARGET RANGE PROGRAM. Know your competitiveness and choose your away intelligently. Don’t ego it. Do it in a region you’d potentially like to match in especially if you don’t have prior ties. Again, not mandatory but it can really help.
-BE A REAL PERSON- you’re not a stat stick. Mention hobbies, ecs, prior jobs that you can talk about in interviews. The first 3 points get you the interview- it’s these last two points that get you the match.
I hope this helps a little. I wish I wrote this in march post match because then some of this advice would have been more timely like the aways but what can you do.
I might do a part 2 on interviews and rank lists and what I think you should look for in a program so let me know if that's something you might be interested in. I feel like those are later cycle questions and wouldn't be super relevant right now. Plus I've already procrastinated on writing this up when I said I would so I try to write that this shit is never gonna get done.
Other matched rads people feel free to chime in/correct me/share your experiences. I don't claim to be a know it all for this process by any means I still wonder how I managed to pull the devious heist on the program that matched me.
I’m willing to take DM’s if you have more specific/personal questions but no butthole pics please.

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Good afternoon party people.
As a reminder, I will be going on vacation starting tomorrow. I will be gone and away from my computer and duties, so tomorrow's chapter is coming today.
There will not be a chapter Monday, June 5th. I'm uncertain if I will post at all during the week of June 5th. It all depends on when I get back and how I feel after a long plane flight.
Regardless of what I do, we will return to our regularly scheduled posting starting June 12th.
I'll miss you all, and I hope you all have a wonderful week. And for those of you in the state, I hope you enjoy having Monday off.
And for those of you who just can't wait...well...buy me a drink and get some chapters on Ko-Fi >:)
---
Kaladin Shadowheart’s POV
I finished buttoning the top button on Mila’s coat and stepped back to appreciate just how well it matched her school uniform. I had to say. I had done a great job without even meaning to.
She looked positively adorable in all red with her little hat. Even her ears poked out from the top, and now that her hair had grown more, it really helped fill her face out. She looked up at me with piercing blue eyes and an expectant look. I couldn’t help but chuckle and pat her on the head.
“You are too cute for your own good,” I told her.
A smile bloomed on her face, and she hugged the hand patting her. “Daddy is even prettier!”
Prettier, huh? Should I be happy that I’m pretty? I think I should. Better to be a pretty daddy than an ugly one, I guess.
“Are we ready to go?” I asked the person standing in the doorway with a smile on her face.
Mila ran over and hugged Sylvia. “Sylvia is pretty too!”
Sylvia stroked Mila’s hair, and her smile brightened even more. “Thank you, Mila,” she said softly. “Let’s go, shall we? We don’t want to be late for our first day of class.”
Today was the first day of school, so we were all dressed up in our school uniforms. It had been a long time since I donned the red and gold jacket of Forward University, not since I had reunited with my family. In that amount of time, I had missed a lot of school as well as essential tests and such.
It was a shame, but to be honest, I didn’t exactly need to attend classes, nor did I need to graduate. As far as I was concerned, my family came first, and I fully intended to accept whatever consequences came my way, even if that meant expulsion from the university.
However, that never came to pass as Bowen explained that all was well. Students missing class for important reasons was common enough and wouldn’t negatively reflect on them if they had sufficient proof and explanation. But that meant I had to make up all those tests, which was a hassle and something I didn’t want to do.
In the end, Bowen suggested that I simply take the tests I missed. If I passed them, then there was nothing to worry about, and I could continue with my studies as if nothing had happened. Apparently, Forward University did offer advanced placement tests in specific scenarios. After all, it would be useless to have a student take a class they didn’t actually need.
Either way, I’m not looking forward to it, even if I can pass the tests with ease.
“Hey, what is Professor Garrison doing here?” Sylvia asked as we made our way down the stairs.
Professor Garrison was at the front door, talking with my parents. He looked apologetic as he lowered his head after speaking a few times. Our eyes met, and he gave me a quick nod of greeting as well. Come to think of it. I hadn’t parted ways with him amicably the last time we met.
I didn’t mean to do that to him. Professor Garrison had always been good to me, and I appreciated him as a person, friend, and mentor. But at the time, I couldn’t let him threaten my family like that. I had my priorities, and I wasn’t afraid to handle those who wanted to threaten my family, even if they were friends.
“Good morning, Professor,” I said with a friendly nod.
“Good morning, Kaladin, Sylvia, and Mila. I’m sorry to bother you before classes, but I thought it would be best to do this now…I should have come sooner, though,” he said, regret laced in his voice.
I looked at my mother, and she just smiled softly and tilted her chin down. I figured they must have already talked and apologized. If Mom and Dad weren’t mad, then neither was I. Besides, I understood where he came from. It would be hard just to let the person who killed your comrades walk around, even if it was years ago.
“I’m sorry for my outburst in class at that time. I shouldn’t have acted so harshly toward you or your mother. And I definitely shouldn't have drawn my weapon. I’m sorry, Kaladin,” Professor Garrison said with a bow.
I patted the man on the shoulder and just smiled at him. “No need to worry. It appears that everything has already been forgotten and forgiven. And I never harbored any ill will toward you, even after that event,” I told him.
Professor Garrison slowly looked up at me. His green eyes were wide behind his glasses, and his eyebrows were high on his face. He looked genuinely shocked at something.
“Is something the matter? Is there something on my face?” I asked as I wiped at my cheeks.
Professor Garrison shook his head like he was clearing his thoughts with force. “No, no, not at all. I was just a little surprised, that's all.” Then he started laughing, and he even grinned. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen or talked to you, Kaladin. You seem like a completely different person now. No, maybe I should say you’ve finally grown up? No…that’s not quite right either…huh,” he mused with a shrug.
“Hopefully, in a good way?” I asked.
“Yeah…definitely in a good way.” His eyes turned to Sylvia, and he raised an eyebrow. “In a good way?”
“In the best way,” she told him.
Is that so? I think I’ve changed a little, hopefully for the best. If I got any worse, things would probably get ugly fast.
Professor Garrison nodded to himself in satisfaction and then chuckled. “Alright, you three, get to class. I'm going to stay here and talk to your parents for a bit. I might be a little late, so let everyone know for me.”
“Yes, Professor,” I said with a grin.
Mila and Sylvia said their goodbyes and see you laters, and we made our way outside. Forward University was buzzing with energy today as students and staff walked around campus. Even in the early morning hours, the place was truly alive for the first time in months.
We walked through the teacher and staff homes until we reached the main pathway. There were so many students out and about the walkways were actually shoulder-to-shoulder. But as we approached a four-way intersection, there was suddenly a massive traffic congestion of bodies.
Everyone was oohing and awwing as they talked amongst themselves. I followed their eyes and looked up at the giant statue that had been erected in the last few weeks in the new park that had been built. I didn’t pay much attention to it because, frankly, I didn’t care…but now I wish I did.
I gawked at the black marble statue in embarrassment. It depicted what could only be described as me, wearing fancy armor and driving a spear into a Dragon’s skull while I sat atop it triumphantly.
Never in my life had I expected to see me…like that. That’s not even how events played out. My spear never went into the Dragon’s head, and I never stood tall over it. The last time I checked, I was dying while being crushed inside of a rock face.
I really hope there are no statues of me anywhere else…
“Sylvia…remember when I asked if you knew what was going on here…did you lie?” I asked in disbelief.
Sylvia giggled to herself as she looked up at the statute. “I did, sort of. I never imagined it would be taller than the trees.” She tilted her head to the side to look at me. “I think they did a fantastic job. They really caught your general vibe and got your face almost perfect. I probably would have made you a little more handsome, though…maybe make your hair a bit longer.”
I sighed deeply. It was true. Whoever sculpted my face had done a good job at replicating it, which was better than them screwing up and making me look like a fool or too much like some fantasy hero. At least they didn’t have me yelling to the heavens or grinning like a fool. The expression was best described as stoic, which was appropriate considering the event and the number of people that had lost their lives.
“Wow…Big Daddy,” Mila mumbled to herself.
“Please don’t say that out loud, Mila,” I begged.
Then it started.
“Hey, is that him?”
“It is him, right?”
“Yeah, that’s Voker—”
“No, that’s Kaladin, you idiot.”
From there, the voices picked up exponentially, turning into a single block of loud noise. I felt all the eyes in the general vicinity flick toward me as the information of my arrival spread through the crowd. It didn’t help that I was taller than the average person which meant it was easy to spot me in a group.
“Let’s just keep walking,” I muttered.
Thankfully the crowd of onlookers did not impede our walking. They even parted to the sides to let us through, which was both good and bad for various reasons. Mila tightened her grip on my hand, most likely nervous at all the attention she was getting.
Instead of just leaving her be, I picked her up, and she instantly held onto me tightly. I personally didn’t care about fame or the attention. People have gawked at me for as long as I can remember in both of my lives, so this was nothing new. However, it clearly upset Mila, who only had bad memories of large crowds staring at her.
Sylvia and I hastened our pace to class, leaving the onlookers behind us.
—
“Wow, he actually came to class for once. It’s a miracle,” snickered Varnir.
“Indeed, it has been some time since we have all been together, has it not?” Sylas said thoughtfully.
“I suppose it has been a long time since all of us have been in class at the same time. Even Jen is back with us,” Ren said with a warm smile.
I almost forgot what it was like to be in this class…it’s good to see everyone is happy and healthy again.
Jen had put back on some healthy weight and looked far better than she had during winter. Some color had returned to her face and hair, and she smiled as she sat next to Tsarra. It was also nice to see that Tsarra wasn’t hiding under one of her spells. Perhaps Jen and Varnir would slowly whittle down her shell.
There was a solid thump as Professor Garrison dropped a stack of papers on his desk. He stared out at us, and the entire class went silent. The Professor let out a deep breath and walked to the front podium.
“It’s good to be back, everyone. I hope all of you had a wonderful, rest-filled winter break with your friends and family. I also hope that you did some studying,” he joked with a grin.
A few students groaned in annoyance, but Professor Garrison continued with his trademark smile. “So…we have much to talk about today. As you all know, today is the first day of classes despite there being no lecture. So for that, I welcome all of you to your final year here at Forward University and congratulate you all for being in Class Onward. As your teacher, I am proud of every single one of you for the trials you have overcome this previous year. We all know just how difficult of a year it was…”
The Professor trailed off for a moment before heading to the chalkboard and writing down a name. “As you all have heard, the tournament with Sandervile is being hosted in Luminar this year, which means we are going to be incredibly busy these next few months with training. Of course, those of you who have no intentions of competing will not be forced, but those of you who are interested will have to compete in the school’s preliminaries to be selected, as is tradition.”
That applies to everyone but me. As the sole person who received a golden ticket so to speak, I’m exempt from this preliminary, which is nice.
Professor Garrison pointed at the name on the board. “I’m sure you are already aware of all this. His and Her Majesty have changed this year's venue to the coastal city of Flumare. I’m sure this came as a surprise to many of you, and rest assured. It was a surprise to us as well. We only learned of this change around the same time I’m sure most of you did, especially with the addition of Saber Academy and with Tel’an’duth joining us this year. And I’m here to say that for contestants who qualify, nothing will change. The school will house, feed, and equip you free of charge, as they have done every year. For the students who are interested in traveling to the venue, the school is offering free tickets as well as free passage to the city. However, lodging is another matter that has still yet to be resolved. I’ll release the information as I get it but don’t worry too much. I'm sure we will figure something out.”
A few students whispered amongst themselves. But what the professor had said was true. For the first time ever, Tel’an’duth was sending students to the tournament, which was as historical as it sounded since this entire tournament was devised to raise and nurture students to fight against Tel’an’duth.
But now the times are changing. And Queen Maxwell was making her moves.
The professor moved to his desk and grabbed a giant scroll. He unraveled it and laid it across the board for all to see. “Now, this is probably what most of you have been waiting for, our new student standings.”
He gave us a few moments to look over the list. In all honesty, there wasn’t too much of a drastic change overall. However, the top five students had changed significantly, and everyone else sort of moved to reflect that change, staying within one or two spots of their previous ranks.
It was also nice to see that Jen had actually stayed the exact same. It was probably due to the Dragon incident keeping her out of school for so long. If she were to be punished for that, it would have been a heartbreaking penalty.
But…there was a new number one on the board…which I didn’t think was necessary.
“I’m sure that there are very few of you who have complaints about the new number one student. Honestly, giving reasons as to why he shouldn’t be number one would be hard. Well, maybe besides his constant absences,” Professor Garrison said with a grin as he winked at me. “Academically, Kaladin has achieved top marks since his arrival last year, only ever stumbling in his Beastmen language studies. And as for his merits outside of the class and in physical examinations, what else is there to say? Please, everyone, give a clap for our new number one student.”
The class erupted into claps and a few cheers as everyone turned to me. It was a relief to see that people weren’t in an uproar over it. Which I thought would happen since I had missed so much school. But perhaps I had just become too much of a figure to be denied that spot.
I even looked at Lin, and she just winked at me. She had no qualms about relinquishing the position she had maintained all these years. However, I did feel somewhat bad for dethroning her.
“Daddy is number one!” Mila said as she sat up in my lap and hugged me.
Well, this isn’t so bad.
“Now, now, then. We will go over the top five as it has changed the most. Linnetia Paine, although you are now second, I hope you are not discouraged in the slightest,” he said as he eyed Lin.
Lin bowed her head graciously. “Being second to the Dragonslayer is hardly a downgrade. On the contrary, perhaps it’s even more of an upgrade. I have no problems with my ranking, and I am more than happy to congratulate Kaladin,” she said, her voice kind yet firm.
As expected of the next head of the Paine family. I almost forgot that Lin was a noble now.
Everyone clapped at that, and Professor Garrison continued. “Congratulations to Arene Maxwell for successfully holding onto the third-ranked position. In such chaotic times, I believe that shows just how much you have grown.”
Ren bowed her head while everyone clapped for her. “Now, to our new fourth-placed student, Tsarra Tel’an’duth, congratulations on your new ranking. You have by far improved the most out of any previous student. Even though you were not officially recognized for your act of bravery against the Dragon, the school has decided to do this much for a hero. You have also shown incredible growth in your magic, officially reaching the mage rank of Grandmaster. And as to be expected of a princess, your academics are outstanding, and the school has even published your book on illusion magic.”
The room erupted into clapping once more, and I watched Sylvia put a hand to her chin. “She wrote a book? That’s impressive,” Sylvia muttered quietly to herself.
“Is it that surprising? I think she is more than capable of that,” I told her.
“I guess we have two very different images of her then,” Sylvia whispered.
Tsarra, at first glance, seemed to be a shy, introverted girl. And that was because she was. Although she had changed steadily since I met her, her nature was still much the same. However, she became a completely different person when it came to reading books.
And it turned out it wasn’t only reading books she was passionate about but writing them too.
I turned in my seat and clapped for her, but Tsarra looked about ready to explode. Her face was redder than her hair from all the attention. I was afraid she would burst a blood vessel with how hard she clenched her jaw.
Well, some things change. And some things don’t.
“And, of course, another congratulations is in order to our new fifth-ranked student, Varnir Shadowstone. Varnir, you are easily the second most improved student in Class Onward, only falling short of Tsarra slightly in academics, which you have improved greatly in and in outside achievements. However, your prowess in your physical testing has improved dramatically. Once again, congratulations, Varnir,” Professor said, his voice full of praise.
“Hey, look at that! I almost caught up to you,” Varnir said with a chuckle as he hugged Tsarra by the shoulder.
If Tsarra wasn't embarrassed already, that was enough to kill her. I watched as the air around Tsarra wobbled and warped, and she disappeared completely in a blink of an eye. It was amazing that she lasted that long in the first place.
Sylvia grumbled some things under her breath about beating Varnir on the first day of school but still being ranked below him, and surprisingly, even with the clapping, Professor Garrison heard her. “Sylvia, I imagine many people are confused as to why you are only ranked eighth. It’s no surprise that you played a critical role in the Dragon incident, and many people, including myself, owe our lives to you. I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you for saving us. Also, your physical prowess is something to remark on. If we based rankings solely on that, you would be in the top five, no questions asked. However, we take more into account. To be honest, your academic abilities fall short of the class average, which is nothing to be ashamed of. And if rankings were to be recalculated today, your outside achievements would have doubled even more considering your involvement with Dragonheart Foundation. Regardless of your rank, we should all congratulate President Sylvia of the Dragonheart Foundation, who will give us a speech tonight at the school banquet.”
Everyone in the class clapped loudly for Sylvia. It seemed that despite her being a Vampire, many students felt that she had done something remarkable, which was the absolute truth. Sylvia deserved all the praise and more.
“Congratulations, Miss President,” I said with a grin.
“Shut up…” she whimpered, her ears burning red.
“Sylvia is number two to Daddy!” Mila squealed as she rolled off my lap and into Syliva’s arms.
Sylvia looked surprised for a moment but hugged Mila back, the two of them touching heads. “I guess being second to Daddy is okay…” Sylvia muttered.
Professor Garrison took a swig of water and let out a deep sigh. “Sadly, we don’t have time to go over everyone’s rankings today. We would be here all day if we did. For those of you who have complaints or want to know how you were ranked, please head to the counselor's office. They will give you your breakdown there.” The professor clapped and put his hands on his hips. “Now, onto the next and hopefully last article for today. I would like to welcome three new students to Class Onward. And before you ask, I understand that it’s a bit late to be accepting new students into our class. And the school agrees. It’s best to consider these three as… short-term transfer students with exceptional skills and circumstances. Although they will not graduate with you, they may just become teachers one day, so please treat them well and warmly welcome them to our class.”
Everyone clapped once more as the door to the room opened. I was clapping as well, only to stop in surprise. I’m sure I had a dumb expression on my face as I watched the two familiar faces walk in. I had no idea they would attend Forward University, let alone join the class. They had somehow managed to keep this a secret.
The first to walk forward was none other than Padraic. The young Dwarf looked dashing in his gold and red jacket. He left the jacket hang open, exposing the black dress shirt underneath.
He had his trademark grin as he eyed me across the room. I’m sure he was positively reveling in my surprise. And I had a feeling he was about to say something outrageous in an attempt to embarrass me.
Professor Garrison motioned for Padraic to introduce himself, and the Dwarf cleared his throat as all eyes turned to him. “It’s good to meet all of you and all that good fun. My name is Padraic Whitehelm, and to be honest, I’m really only here to use the forges and the school’s resources, and since I had to take classes to do so, I figured I would join the class with my brother from another mother and my two future fiancees. So uh…yeah, that’s it, really.”
Oh, he boldly declared that. At least his embarrassment was targeted at…wait…two fiancees? Who's the second? Did I miss something?
I thought that as I looked back at Jen. Much like Tsarra, she was beside herself as she hid her face in her arms. It seemed she wanted to run away. I scanned the room for the second so-called future fiancee, but it didn’t seem like anyone was reacting to that statement, so I had no idea who it was.
The class clapped somewhat awkwardly but was more or less mumbling to each other. Padraic’s brazen entrance no doubt shocked quite a few students. But that was Padraic for you. He never cared what others thought of him.
Professor Garrison chuckled awkwardly to himself. “Well, that was something. But a little background on our new student is that he not only passed the entrance exam but tested in the top one percent of advanced mathematics, not only in this class but the entire school. Padraic here also impressed both the forge and smithing teachers, earning their respect with a single demo. As well as being an Opal adventurer with three years of experience.”
With a little more context, it seemed that assuaged anyone’s worries, and they put more excitement into their applause. I had no idea he placed so high in math, but Padraic was always good at it. Even back in the day, he took to math faster than Cerila. But that was only when he was actually focusing and not goofing around or teasing me…
And good for him on impressing two teachers at Forward University with one demonstration is definitely something to be proud of. He did make my new bow, which was expertly crafted.
Next up was also a surprise. She looked stunning in her uniform, and it was hard to look away. Her long snow-white hair flowed down to her hips as her new jacket fit snugly around her upper body, accentuating her athletic and curvy physique. And her white and gold skirt was—
“Why is her skirt shorter than everyone else’s? What’s with that crap?” Sylvia growled in a low voice as she glared down at Cerila.
It’s uh…true…Cerila’s skirt, for some reason or another, was shorter than the norm. And it only exposed her long toned yet pale legs even more as she chose to wear short white socks.
I felt Sylvia’s glare turn to me in my absence of a response, but I just kept my eyes forward, fully intent on not meeting her gaze. I felt that no matter what I said, I would be wrong. And it would only open me up for criticism. So the best course of action was to say nothing.
Cerila went over to the board and quickly chalked up a hand that was leaving a head, as well as her name. To an untrained eye, it looked to be as if she drew someone saluting followed by her name in Human. But it was actually a depiction of someone signing hello.
And it was accurate as well as being well drawn. I guess years of drawing on that tablet are coming into play.
Once she was done, she turned around to face the class and repeated the motion for the sign. From there, Professor Garrison took over. “First of all, please welcome Cerila to the class. Although she can’t hear any of you, the gesture still has meaning for her.”
The class looked confused, and a few people muttered to each other, but after a pointed glare from the teacher, everyone quickly gave a round of applause to welcome her. “As some of you have guessed, Cerila is deaf and can not hear you, but that does not mean she can’t talk to you. And although you may think of this as a hindrance, Cerila has lived her entire life this way and has not only adapted but flourished. She passed the school’s entrance exam and tested out of master-level language classes for both Elvish and Human, being able to read and write fluently to the level of a translator. Not only that, Cerila is fluent in a completely new language called Sign Language. As a result, she is able to communicate in everyday conversation with others despite not verbally speaking a single word. She also shows martial prowess that is to be recognized, as she has achieved the adventurer rank of Topaz in only three years. For those of you who are unaware, that is an accomplishment beyond what a normal person is capable of, especially someone so young.”
Upon his further explanation of Cerila’s exploits and achievements, the room did a collective nod of approval and gave her one more final applause. Cerila flashed a stunning smile at everyone, and with Padraic next to her, the two of them walked straight up the steps and toward me.
“Are they really going…what a pain,” Sylvia grumbled quietly to herself.
Sure enough, the two took open seats to my left, with Cerila right next to me. She smiled brightly at me and even let out a noise that was the same as her giggling. she asked.
I told her.
Cerila was about to sign to me again, but I poked her as Professor Garrison cleared his throat loudly. “Now then, would the final student please introduce himself?”
The third student had been quietly standing to the side. At first glance, he seemed…odd, and I found it hard to tell how old he was for some reason. He wore the school uniform just the same as everyone else, and as a tiger Beastmen, he didn’t appear to have overwhelming physical size but was a rather average build. His tiger-like ears poked out from his long hair that was poofed up while being the color of brownish dried blood.
But the oddest thing about him was those dark-tinted glasses he wore over his eyes…they seemed almost like sunglasses, which was weird since we were indoors and the room could hardly be described as bright.
The Beastmen had a proper air about him, almost like a noble, which was all but confirmed as he dipped into an elegant bow straight out of a book on manners.
“My name is Malachi Talgan, and I am the crown prince of the Principality of Nul. It’s an honor to be here,” he said in a velvety smooth voice.
Malachi also took his glasses off, exposing his unswirling Vampiric blood-red eyes to the class. But unlike Sylvia, who possessed entirely crimson eyes, Malachi’s eyes were like that of a half-moon of red, leaving the rest of his iris a dead-looking white color. Of course, I only had two other Vampires besides Sylvia to compare to, but Malachi’s eyes had far more red than the Vampire who kidnapped me and even more than the Vampire diplomat I saw in Sandervile.
And did he just say his last name was Talgan?

Next

I (27M) have a rather strained relationship with my parents (48F and 56M) that I can’t quite seem to get over. So, before anyone asks, yes, I have gone to therapy and have been going for the better part of 5 years, off and on, with a more consistent track record for the last 2 years.
I do apologize if I bounce around here. I write fantasy novels, not autobiographies, lol.
First, let me explain that I am the second oldest of 4 sons from my mother, and the middle of 7 sons, counting all my father's children. So, the core 4 (Me and my mother's sons) will be the most referred to throughout this. I love my other brothers, but one was born and raised in Germany (My father was a soldier), one was an affair child (My father just sorta cast him to the side for a good portion of our childhood, though we saw him frequently as kids <12yo) and the final is 6 (he just didn't exist until I was an adult).
As a kid, I always recognized I was a bit different from my brothers, (2 years older, 5 years younger, and 7 years younger). They were much more into sports and playing outside, and while I did participate in sports, I never found the same love for them as they did. I played soccer and swam competitively, while my brothers were all football studs in their respective positions. All would go on to get some form of scholarship to play in college, though none would follow through, or failed to complete their programs. Despite this, I love my brothers dearly, but I realized I was treated a bit differently than them.
My dad was the coach of my younger brothers’ peewee teams and was consistently in attendance at my older brothers’ games in high school. He paid for special camps, summer training, and the whole shebang. Meanwhile, I seem to hardly remember him in the crowd at a lot of my athletic functions unless there were several of us involved (when I swam, my younger brothers were on the same team as me).
My preferred field was that of creativity. As stated above, I write fantasy novels and enjoy bringing my imagination to life. Now, anyone else like this knows that your creativity isn't much of a light switch, but rather a faucet. I can't turn it on and off, the best I can do is dial it back a little while, though, the pressure will build, and I'll explode if I can't get it out of me after a while.
Now imagine being an 8-year-old boy with this massive level of imagination, what happens to them? That's right, medication. I was supplied a healthy dose of Concerta (children's Adderall essentially) from age 8 until 16 as a way to help me "concentrate" in school, which I have always felt was a copout to make me more docile and easier to handle. Most people are familiar with the effects, turning you into a zombie, loss of appetite, lack of interest in most things, etc., etc. What most people don't realize, is that form of drug turns off your imagination altogether. I contested the drug as often as I could, but the argument always went to my grades being subpar when I was off it, and my behavior worsens. Mind you, my kind of trouble was more of mischievousness than actual behavior issues. I respected adults and treated everyone well, even if I didn't like them. That never seemed to be a good enough answer, though, and I was continuously fed it until I began my senior year of high school.
As I said, I love my imagination, and only figured out how to make it constructive after I left to join the military at 17 out of high school. By then, I was severely underweight and never figured out how to form normal relationships since I had no genuine interest in them on the drug, and didn't have a good example of one at home to mimic.
My dad didn't have much of a father, and he joined the military and served a long and prosperous career in the army. Unfortunately, that meant he learned fathering techniques from the military, which we all know is not good. Eventually, my parents split soon after my dad retired in the southwest US. I think I was 12, and I remember having a wave of relief wash over me when they announced it. They were destructive with each other and the police were involved once or twice. My dad never hit my mother, but their arguments became explosive on those occasions and neighbors or my mother called. Both cheated, both hated, and both stayed with one another "for the sake of the kids." I can still vividly remember myself crying at 9 yo hearing them fighting in the middle of the night and my older brother coming into my room to comfort for me. He was my first best friend, and first heartbreak. Once they split, all my brothers chose to go stay with my mom and I chose to stay with my dad, out of sheer pity. Overnight, our once bustling 5-bedroom home became a quiet nightmare. It was just him and I for a long time after.
Once they moved out to my mom's apartment, I noticed a deep and awful shift in my mom. Her love had become toxic. She treated us like 5-year-olds again, and not like we were dumb, but like we were her little sweetie pies and nothing could ever happen to us. My brother had started down a long dark path of drugs and gangs at around 14 yo and my mom protected him from the harshness that he needed. She unintentionally fed his issues by pretending that he'll just spring back on his own. I remember the day he got kicked out from my dad's at around 16, I was so hurt. He was my first friend, and I couldn't even recognize him anymore. And it was, without misplaced anger, entirely my mother's fault. She allowed him to become this animal that would run out into the streets, get high, commit crimes, give him a warm place to be, and treat him like the little baby she knew so many years ago. It was disgusting to me. I would always turn away when she would offer me the same treatment. She would go on to blame my father and tell me "You're just like your father" I resented that statement so much. It crushed me every time I heard it. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her anything. She was the woman that birthed me, after all.
Eventually, she began to deteriorate. She went from being the gleaming example of a woman, who once coached my peewee soccer team to an undefeated season, into a horrible blob of a toxic love pit. I became so ashamed of her. I would avoid taking friends, the very few I had, to meet her out of embarrassment. I loved her, but I hated her too, if that made sense.
My dad wasn't much better. He would begin to date again and got heavily involved in a community Christian church. I didn't mind, they had a youth group on Wednesday nights, and it was a chance for me to leave the house since he monitored my activities so heavily. I wasn't allowed to do much under the guise of "poor grades," but I think my dad was afraid I would end up like my brother, who I was nothing like at that point. But he would date and sometimes be out of the house all day or night. I remember very well, for about a week or so, I would only see my dad when he woke me up for school, but never again for the rest of the day. So, for long stretches of time, I would be at home by myself, just sitting there, missing my brothers. I would sometimes pretend they were still there and have fake arguments and watch the shows that they liked, and I hated, to make me feel like they were still around. I'm crying again now, just thinking about those lonely days.
He was a terrible disciplinarian by that point. I was in charge of almost every chore around the house, considering I was the only one living there. It was very hard. I would miss some specs on the floor, or not put all the dishes back on, he would come down on me, hard like a drill sergeant. No, even my DS in basic training were more forgiving it seemed. He was critical of everything I did, it felt. Even my humor would earn me long hard scathing lectures. Like I could do nothing correctly, and if that weren't enough, he would embarrass me at every possible chance. I remember he caught me doing something that 15-year-old boys do when it’s 2 am and there’s internet access. He went and told the who church of his discovery, including the parents of the girl I liked, right in front of me. I would cry often, and started wetting the bed again at 16. Thank god he never found out. I just washed my sheets often. I couldn't tell my mom since she was looking for every ounce of ammo she could find to force custody of me. Well, they both did. They'd often interrogate me about the other's deeds during my time with them, looking for something. Eventually, I caught on after realizing they would argue about things I would talk about, so I stopped telling them things altogether and would never really let them back into my emotions, even as a grown man. I felt like a little tortured animal by the time I finally got out of the house.
I was free, but my ability to bond and form relationships was severely impacted. I couldn't make friends easily and would panic whenever I had intimate moments with girls. I just didn’t know what to do. I was so immature for my age. at 18, I was still pretty much a 13-year-old. Thankfully, the army doesn't give you a choice in friendships and will basically force you through trauma bonding and close quarters. I ended up making great friends and began to catch up on my lost time. They taught me so much, and I am still close to them, even if separated by great distances. A couple of them saw me for who I was, accepted me, and adopted me as their immature kid brother. For them, I'm forever thankful.
As I grew, my relationships with my parents changed as well. I still loved them. But as friends. I knew my heart and emotions weren't safe with them. My mom was still a toxic pit and my dad finally began to soften after he remarried. He wasn't quite as cruel with my stepsiblings. He took the role of father but vehemently declined the role of dad as often as possible. He's known them since they were just 4 and 6 and just recently watched the oldest graduate. He would complain about their misdeeds with me, and I would reassure him that they seemed like normal growing pains for kids. He would disregard and often throw the phrase "Then let your dad handle it" when dealing with their problems. I remember a couple of years ago trying to talk to him about this and how he had the opportunity to be a positive influence and be someone important to them. That THEY didn't really get a choice in him and how he could be such a good dad. Our talk went about as far as you'd think and ended with me in tears. He never saw the light, which hurt me greatly for them.
I have done my best to keep my emotional distance from them even when I came to visit, I lived about 3 hours from their city. Even when visiting, I would have to keep it a secret from the other or they would get butt hurt that I didn't go to see them. I usually just didn't have time to see them both and all my brothers. But they would try to guilt-trip me all the same. My dad was much better off than my mom, so I would usually stay with him since I knew he had a spare room for me. But my choice was purely economical, my mom's apartments were always so cramped and I didn’t want to add to the issue of space, so I would lie to her and say I've got a hotel or that I was staying at a girl’s house.
Recently though. My girlfriend and I have come close to the topic of marriage, and I want to mend my relationships with them. I can't imagine them coming to the wedding and me not feeling any actual emotion as I dance with my mom, or as I listen to my dad's speech. I just don't want to live like this. I've tried just about everything to rebuild, but therapy only goes so far. I need an unorthodox approach. Though I'm not opposed to just not having either of them included and have considered just running away and cutting all contact, but I know my brothers would just relay messages, and I don't want to make this their problem. I think this may be a part of some of the skills I never learned growing up. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you all in advance. I'm just very lost here.
​
**TL;DR;** : Parents were emotionally abusive growing up and even with therapy, I can't seem to find that happy loving relationship with them that I see others have.

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LinkedIn Learning has a series of courses for CIPM exam prep. It is done by Mike Chapple, who is a well respected author and trainer in Security and Privacy related fields. It is over 7 hours of video based training, broken up into a series of smaller segments.
If you have (or have access to) LinkedIn Premier, it is included for free. Also, I think you can maybe do a free trial of LinkedIn Premier.

i just watched a video on the msf course. This one to be specific. now i need to know if there is any real world training. as in within real traffic. to my knowledge: no. if that video is everything you have to do (and are trained on) i must say that it is not surprising why so many people on this sub end up crashing. the test is lackluster when it comes to actually being able to handle the bike and avoid dangerous situations. it also appears to be lacking any examination on how you handle real traffic.
​
This is what we have to do (in germany, subtitles can be set to english and are good). in addition to that, a test ride lasting 40 to 45 minutes follows. a car with the instructor driving and the examiner observing you is following you close by. before both you are asked some questions like how deep the tire tread has to be for it to be legal to ride, how to check the oil and brake fluid level. not knowing the answer can get you to fail the exam right away.
​
note that. in both cases i am not taking the written test of both countries into consideration, in both cases you have to pass to be able to attend the practical exam either way.
​
From my current understanding the msf course does not certify you to be able to ride a bike, just allow you to. if it were more challenging in a meaningful way (not just more difficult for the sake of it) i think the us would have much less accidents and more skilled riders from the start.

Have just been invited for an online interview at the Office for National Statistics (UK) for what is a job that I would kill to have. Have about 3 weeks to prepare, so I was hoping to get some direction on how to best prepare for it as i'm very confident on my interpersonal skills & want to ensure my technical knowledge is up to scratch having only recently decided to pivot into the DA field after finishing my degree.
Some context about me: Currently doing an International Relations masters that will end in August after I submit a dissertation where i've chosen to focus on quantitative methods and get some practice using R. Hold an economics undergraduate in which I ran some basic regressions for a couple of assignments, alongside a year in business at the Office for Budget Responsibility where I was a student economist and gained a bunch of experience handling massive economic forecast spreadsheets in Excel at a basic level (plus a lot of practice in data visualisation).
I'm primarily interested in Data Analysis, but I will happily accept this scheme because i'm a versatile fast learner and will probably get to grips with the machine learning and such with some effort. My favourite part of DA so far has been visualisation - last week I did a mini-project where I used pivot tables in Excel to analyse a Kaggle Adidas dataset for a bunch of business insights and created a dashboard for it which was really fun and something I plan on tooting my own horn about in the interview if given the chance. Currently in the process of doing the Google Data Analytics certificate, and i've just downloaded Tableau with the free year for students which I want to learn next.
The interview includes this take-home dataset they've sent that evaluates the effect of energy inflation on different economic sectors, something I have to verbally present for less than 10 minutes to outline the key points of the issue. Importantly this means that I cannot show them any visualisations or dashboards on the dataset, just a verbal report of the insights. This will be followed by some other general interview questions. I'm mostly curious about what kind of technical questions they might ask for a data scientist graduate scheme that I should be ready to answer confidently. The course is geared around a significant period of training in data science fundamentals at the start so I should be fine with my lack of experience in it, but I still want to demonstrate an aptitude & motivation for the field as the competition for places tends to be pretty fierce on the UK civil service. Any help would be really appreciated, this subreddit has helped me a lot with getting to grips with the DA field :)

Date: December 14th, 2136 Standard Terran Time - Day One
I am Sergeant Paulo Martinez, of the United Nations’ 12th Marine Regiment, field doctor. Unfortunately for my bosses, I’m not writing this diary for them. This one is for my sister. Yes you read that right, Maria, this one’s for you so i’m doing it the way I think you’d like it done.
So, lil’ sis the historian always talks about how the most fun historical discoveries are in mundane documents, a lot of stuff gets lost to time with just official documents, so when I told her I was going to visit Colia on official business, in fact at request of the Zurulian government, she just straight up begged me to keep a personal diary. Even if I never show her, in like a hundred years it’d be a more accurate story of what happens than any official report. So… This is it.
To explain better, in preparation for future operations the UN is trying to integrate alien advanced technology and methodology with ours, both to patch up theirs where it’s missing (as is often the case with their methods) and prop up ours (usually technical). My case, however, is a bit particular while being part of the same initiative. The government of Colia, that’s the Zurilian homeworld by the by, has requested a technical exchange with a field medic experienced in combat operations in order to help them prepare for the inevitable need for their famed medical expertise to be applied on the field, i’m not sure what my counterpart is going to be doing back home but I bet he isn’t going to be with the marines.
Anyway, it seems like I'm to be set up with a group of first responders for a grand total of a week, see what I can learn and see what I can teach. Shuttle (which is tiny, by the way, love those teddy bears but they’re tiny and their bespoke crafts are tiny) will be arriving in another hour and after that i’m to head for a briefing.
Okay! Still the first day, or night right now. I got to meet the crew I’m to be training with and got a better grasp of what I’m actually working with here. I made a mistake previously, it’s not first responders, I’m training with a unit from the First Response Fleet. Those guys have an entire fleet in charge of emergency response to any catastrophe, admittedly it’s not a very large one it’s just their flagship “Beacon of Hope” and a small group of support ships like two fuel barges (seriously what is their operational range to have fuel barges?) and some lander shuttles.
For a moment I thought it made sense why they sent a marine, those are military right? Nope, those are civilians as far as I can tell. I got to meet some of the people I’ll be training with though! They’re a fun bunch, and boy did they barrage me with questions. Remember the stories back early during first contact about aliens asking all sorts of stupid questions? Now picture that at quintuple speed and all of the medical variety, at some point I had to shut them all down. Not because they were annoying, mind, but because the questions started getting far outside of my field of expertise. I’m a marine combat medic, not an endocrinologist!
Which made me curious, so when I asked it turns out they’re all proper doctors! Out of a crew of twenty, because apparently the crews train together based on which lander shuttle they’re assigned to, we had ten surgeons of different varieties, three neurolinguists, two geneticists… I don’t even remember what the other five were but none of them with less than five years of schooling and all but one with at least eight years in the First Response Fleet, that other one was fresh out of getting his PhD, however.
Date: December 15th, 2136 Standard Terran Time - Day Two, Training
Apparently the FRF has its own facilities for training and fleet maintenance. I woke up early to get a look at the place and… I admit I’m a little surprised? This doesn’t look like what I was expecting, because it feels familiar. There were a lot of restricted areas, expected in a medical facility, but this felt different because a medical college, what I thought this was, wouldn’t have armed guards.
It also wouldn’t have a starship drydock. And it wouldn’t be designed like this. This place looks more like a federation-style military base than anything you’d see a bunch of civilian doctors in. I wonder if they’re essentially contractors to the military?
After a short tour on my own I went to have breakfast, and if this didn’t look like every military mess hall in the universe I’d throw my stripes in the trash. Boy are the teddy bears noisy, though, if there’s one thing I can say they’d beat any marine at is making a goddamn ruckus. I readied myself for some bland vegan breakfast, which don’t get me wrong I get it they’re herbivores and all but I usually I really miss my protein and the taste you know, but I was very surprised. I couldn’t tell you the name of the plants I ate but… Just… How can vegan food be this tasty? I thought aliens didn’t know how to cook?
Well, I was sure as hell wrong about that. I’m actually writing this at the end of the day and I’m chewing on a raw root for heavens’ sake because this thing tastes like mint and cashews? Most aliens might not know how to cook but apparently the teddy bears aren’t most aliens in this case.
Anyway, back to some chronological telling. I also learned they love tea, they can’t really start the day without tea and I don’t mean the pansy stuff from Earth (i’m a coffee drinker), oh no. I never thought steeped flower leaves would give me the caffeine jitters, but I should have when I saw they were black. Right, one of the gals in my unit is a biochemist, and she made this very weird joke to me if I could taste the poison on the tea? Humans have gotta stop the damn capsaicin hype before they think we can drink actual poison.
Surprisingly tasty breakfast over, me and the unit went for the first training of the day. As part of a disaster response team they need to keep fit, so morning is physical training. Now, you’re going to read this and think it’s weird, right? Wouldn’t it be paramedics or firefighters doing this particular piece of job instead of full blown PhDs with doctorates and all that? Yes it’s that weird.
Running, pushups, pullups, you know the whole full body training regimen? That’s how it started, I thought I was going to smoke the teddy bears but… Good heavens, I can’t in good conscience say I did. I mean, yeah, I outperformed every one of them but that was close, I swear the only reason I outperformed them is because of mother nature because it sure wasn’t my training and I’m, not to toot my own horn too much, a goddamn marine.
Afterwards we had ‘deployment’ drills. Yes I’m calling them drills because at this point I’m certain those guys are military in some weird way. Deployment in this case refers to the simple act of exiting the lander shuttle and deploying the field hospital. Guy in charge of training said today they were going easy because of me since I’ve never done this before, to general cheer of the rest of the unit.
The basics of deployment training is, we all get inside the lander with the gear, wait a minute to simulate the landing procedures, then we unload the gear and set it up as fast as possible but prioritizing no mistakes. So off I went to start, first boarding the lander, which was the actual lander we were assigned to. When I asked I was told this was so we’d be familiarized with the idiosyncrasies of the equipment we’d actually use in the field, in fact all of the gear we were training with WAS the gear they used in the field.
My first surprise was how… Cramped the lander was. And by that I mean this was an eight-person craft carrying twenty plus enough medical equipment to set up a field hospital. This was frankly absurd, in order to create enough space for me two of them had to sit on my lap because there wasn’t enough room, half of them had to stay standing! “We don’t take up a lot of space” one of them told me.
Apparently, these lander shuttles are perfectly safe to ride standing and there were specific roles for people who were standing, they’re supposed to start moving some of the gear out the instant the landing ramp hits the ground. That’s what they’re supposed to do anyway, but that isn’t exactly what happened. The landing pad is equipped with some kind of setup to simulate the ship’s landing impact, and that was some movement discipline I haven’t ever seen before- I felt the downwards impact of the ship, but before elastic forces moved it back up as ships do when landing this hard, people were already moving.
They didn’t start moving gear when the landing ramp hit the ground. They moved so fast that the first piece of gear, the power generator, hit the ground moving into place less than a second after the tip of the ramp hit the floor.
The whole deployment training was four hours. We repeated the deployment procedures for four hours without rest, and it wasn’t simple. This isn’t a field hospital in human terms, my friends, no. One of the first things set up is a power generator, after that a communications array to call up the flagship, then they bring out the tents but those aren’t the simple bed and clean space affair. They use shielding technology to keep particulates out, the operation tent even uses that system to create an airlock to keep the air inside clean. There’s an entire miniature operation theater, there’s a rapid diagnosis rig with a whole ass ton of sensors operated with VR as well as two tents just for patient recovery.
Those are neither simple nor light pieces of kit. That’s some sci-fi supertech shit right there. The target deployment time is five minutes. Five. Fucking. Minutes. I don’t think I could set up a tent in five minutes. Hell, when they started moving I had to reign in my instincts, it looked like I was getting ready for breaching action. Oh, they were taking it easy and instructing me all the time, took them fifteen minutes to set up the entire field hospital.
After that bit of intense training, it was dinner time. Did you know that there is a specific kind of plant here that when you mix its dried and powdered leaves with some of the local flora it induces the maillard reaction? Fucking cold-fried tubers is what I got, it’s like those slightly citric cold fries that have all the good parts of fries but are cold? Alien food I swear, if I ever have to turn vegan I’m only eating at zurulian restaurants.
And then it was study time, gotta keep up on the latest medical science and they afford you time to do that. Pretty damn impressive library they’ve got, not just some proper paperback books mostly for historical value (did you know paper here is black and they use a dark red ink to write in it? Weird alien trees) but an immense digital library. I was a bit at a loss of what to do , I’m at best a paramedic not a doctor needing to keep up with the latest and greatest, thankfully one of the guys on my unit showed up with some first response manuals with the basics for every species. And then promptly dragged me to the unit’s study group because apparently the entire unit also studies together.
Man I thought that was going to be annoying, it thankfully wasn’t. Damn cheerful bunch they are, real classy body horror jokes as well. I’ll be honest I never thought I’d see an alien get dark humor, nevermind start it, but I like those teddy bears. Also none of that better-than-you crap I thought I was going to get either, they helped me out a fair bit memorizing some procedures (seriously, there’s a method for mouth-to-mouth on a bird that works, but boy is it going to be nasty) and awkward as it was having a nearby human was plenty helpful since they were all studying human medicine.
And oh, hey, that’s the door. I got invited for a bit of a welcoming party. I’ll add more when I get back.
Date: December 17th, 2136 Standard Terran Time - Day Four, Hangover
Sooo… Apparently tea brewing is a far more complex and ancient art here I guess? Did you know there’s a kind of plant that builds up alcohol inside of it here? And with the right steeping process you get this very tasty alcoholic green tea that just sneaks up on you like a motherfucker? That’s why you’re not getting anything from yesterday, jesus fuck deployment drills, timed this time, on an ungodly hangover were not fun. Turns out this unit’s usual time is seven minutes, by the way.
Got to learn a fair bit about zurulian biology that night out, though. And clean up your mind, that’s not what I mean. Turns out they’re quite more sensitive to some chemicals than humans, or at least sensitive in different ways. They’re also WAY more open to recreational drugs, it turns out, especially in drinkable form.
One of ‘em got this thing that looked like an ashtray? And it was burning something. Dude just put it on the table and took whiffs of it now and then. I got curious and went to try and holy crap I got dizzy just getting close to it? Lum leaves, he told me, they give a nice buzz he said. Nice buzz? It’d have knocked me right out if I didn’t step back fast enough, apparently whatever’s in lum leaves at best works like a beer for them, though. And the weird part is he said it tasted good.
That was when I learned that zurulians have a damn fine sense of taste. Which, by the way, explained why they were passing by a rock and licking it at some point. I thought they were trying to weird me out but no it’s apparently some kind of palate cleanser, I tried but it just kind of tasted of rock. And, it turns out that their tongues can detect some usually-airborne chemicals as well! Including ones their noses can! They can detect some things as both taste and smell!
And apparently after the fifth cup of tea I was asking them what all sorts of things tasted for them and I could not tell you the answers because I should have stopped at my second. Except for one thing, I think whoever I asked was high as a kite too to accept it but I asked what I tasted like. Look I was really intoxicated as well. She said I tasted like I had vitamin deficiency? And… I don’t know, I know I never ate properly but how the hell do you tell that with your tongue?
Don’t feel it’d be very decent to ask that, though. You don’t make wise, or decent, decisions when you’re so out of your mind you get a thirty-hour hangover later.
As for the day, it’s been deployment drills and studying. But we did get to play with a few more toys between the drills and dinner, the unit got to test out (or well, make sure they were working) a bunch of fun-looking portable piston units, they also had a couple of plasma torches and a magnetic cutter (think a hydraulic cutter but instead of hydraulics it’s magnetism, looks silly but damn thing could cut through a support strut of a starship in half the time of a hydraulic). I, of course, didn’t get to play with any of those. They were built for zurulian bodies and according to the trainer if I ever were to work with the Fleet they’d just treat my body as another set of tools anyway. I mean I get it, nature gifted me a larger and stronger body than theirs, but he could have been less blunt about that.
Date: December 18th, 2136 Standard Terran Time - Day Five, Emergency
Soo… See how I’m being cute with titles? Look you’re lucky I’m writing in english and not japanese or else you’d be getting triple-sized titles, I love me some good titles. I wish I was talking about emergency response training here, however.
I’m a diligent man, I haven’t been skimping on preparing my official report, in fact a third of study time I’ve spent on writing the report. Super detailed, put as much as I damn well could in those, described every last bit of tech, hell I described the seating arrangements per specialty for deployment because apparently you can shave seconds off of deployment with the correct arrangement. Even included the fact it was faster for me to just carry the two guys on my lap out and drop them on top (yes on top) of the storage unit going to the surgery tent than to wait for there to be enough space for them to hop off.
So my official report is out. I’m going to write a second, too, about whatever else happens. I made a quick call to HQ and got the go ahead too. Earth’s gearing up to fight the feds but that doesn’t mean the rest of this old bullshit war isn’t going on. There’s been an arxur raid on a colony world, apparently a venlil colony, and we’re deploying. Sorry, I’m not going to just go back home and wait for the call to action when I can help something going on right now. Plus I know it’s been just five days but damn, I like those guys. I hope dealing with a raid aftermath isn’t going to break them.
excuseme, what. Sorry, I am currently on the lander shuttle as we make our way up to the Beacon of Hope. I was going to finish there and then but I heard it… Someone talking to the newest guy “You get used to it”. You get used to it? Did they do this that often? Or was he just trying to be nice?
Not the time to ask.
Date: December 19th, 2136 Standard Terran Time - Day Six, Stalking
The trip was fast. Alarmingly fast. I can tell the Beacon of Hope has probably the best FTL drive ever created or something like that. It was two thirds through the day when we got a message that we had arrived and were now on standby. And also, that I was being called up by the captain.
The trip to the bridge was surprising in two ways, the first because I didn’t need to bend down. The Beacon of Hope is built to accommodate even a Mazic in its interiors, and be able to work with an interspecies crew. The second was because of the austerity of the place as I expected a civilian ship to make some concessions, but any area that did not expect to see a patient was perfectly functional and wasteless in design. Only the patient areas seemed a bit more comfortable and even then, it seemed like it was more because of the patient’s needs.
The bridge was very much a spartan affair that took advantage of their species’ diminutive size, it was tucked closer to the center of the ship and was distressingly small despite the amount of staff present, though someone of a larger species (like me) could probably still do their job as an operator here but they’d probably have to do it laying down. Something that the layout of the chairs would seemingly permit. It was there that I met the captain, aliens might not be much for clothes, but they’ve right up there with us with hats. The only identifier he had was the rather classy dark blue hat which is apparently the base of the design of any air force hat in the galaxy too, I guess some pieces of design are universal. Later that day I had time to ask around, and it seems like their space military splintered off of their air force, unlike the navy back on earth.
And the captain told me some very, very impressive information. And some very distressing as well. First off, we had arrived before the Arxur, which in itself was baffling because I thought we had responded to an attack. Nope! It was an early detection system. I asked him, then, if we were so early why wasn’t a defense fleet instead of us? “I don’t know. And I’m afraid of knowing” At that point I dropped that line of questions, I guess it got pretty obvious, huhn? Then what’d he need me for, I asked. He was blunt, me being a predator, and a trained killer at that, he wanted advice.
I might have been a bit annoyed at the wording, but the captain of the most advanced, and genuinely unarmed, hospital ship I had ever seen asking me advice like that? What even was going on? He explained to me that we were hiding in the shadow of a planet close to the colony, directly opposite of where the arrival point of the Arxur fleet should be, and showed me the map. He knew I wasn’t a naval officer but if I had anything, if anything in my training, if anything in my instincts could help, anything to make sure the mission would work more smoothly.
Were we doing an evacuation? Not with just this ship. VIP extraction? First Response doesn’t do priorities like those. Dropping support for ground troops? What ground troops. No, we had no way to aid during the actual raid, this was the direct opposite of a warship. But the very second the cannibals left they were going to start dropping shuttles, every last moment counted and if that meant arriving before the threat it meant arriving before the threat.
I mean, I got nothing. I told him I got nothing, none of my training worked here and I couldn’t just summon some magical foresight to help. To which, he was grateful. Told me it was an assurance of a trained soldier couldn’t find flaw in the plans of ‘an old retired pediatrician’ and i’m absolutely fucking sorry?
At that point I had to ask, are they military? Oh no, they’re not. While sure the FRF was part of the military organization, it had no need for soldiers since it was basically just a large mobile hospital. Those were all civilians, including him.
Now, if any of my fellow humans catch this document when it’s still relevant or anyone at all a hundred years from now, I want you to consider what the average military competency of the federation species is like. They’d fall prey to the dumbest fucking ambush and if I remember right even the Arxur were pissing their fucking scales at a simple fighting retreat. Those people have been fighting longer than some countries have existed on earth and they got no idea how to wage war. And here was this ‘old pediatrician’ pulling some fucking grand admiral moves because his only focus was getting medical aid down on planet as fast as possible.
I waited to get back to my room to wait before I lost it. But still, we had a mission ahead of us and we’d need to prepare.
Date: December 21th, 2136 Standard Terran Time - Day Eight, Fieldwork
Don’t have much time to write, there’s a lot of work to be done but I think I can skimp a few minutes of sleep for this, using voice to text for this one. I guess mumbling might help me sleep, too. We just landed, guys got deployment down to six minutes. Fuck, unit back home couldn’t move this fast with this coordination. Shit, they probably do those very often don’t they?
Each lander shuttle went to a different place, we’ve all got a huge area to cover with our shuttle’s crew. Flagship dropped a few comm buoys up there, we got a temporary planetary cover for the comms. Dunno how the fuck the shuttle slipped down when it did, last croc ship wasn’t even done taking off when we hit the ground, also the pilot’s a fucking maniac. Miles wishes he could pull a deceleration at that low height without splashing.
Fuck my feet. Fuck my legs. Fuck my back, everything hurts. Three guys stayed behind in the triage tent, two in the surgery tent, one on the radio, everyone else got to go out searching for people in pairs. They use this fancy headset thing with data feed from the flagship, scans for life signs, real advanced. Not perfect precision, though, still needs the people on the ground to cover the last hundred meters of range. “Well, that’s leftovers” fucking dark humor at this point. Fuck. We were going towards a lifesign marker when we ran into a corpse.
Right. Funny thing here, this is a federation world. Yeah I know I said it was a venlil colony but seems like not every colony split off from the feds when the republic did, makes sense. Don’t matter for those sons of bitches, someone need help they come for you. That was a venlil body, burning wreckage of a toppled building, half-eaten.
Fuck i’ve seen the worst goddamn wounds, saw people missing limbs, shit… Y’all of my unit on earth remember the Placido thing, right? So much fire. Y’all remember the smell of the burning bodies, don’t you? Saw some sick shit in the past but this? Seeing a half-eaten person?
And teddy bear says that damn joke. Pulled me outta the shock, at least… Wasn’t the first time they had to say that, was it? Wasn’t long until we hit that lifesign, though. Venlil kid, panicking the hell out when he saw me, bleeding like a fountain from a cut on the shoulder and side. Tried to calm the kid down, and what happens? Teddy bear just comes out of no fucking where and jabs something in the kid’s neck and they’re out like a light. We called for a recovery there.
Have you ever seen a motorcycle ambulance? How about a hovercycle ambulance? Yeah, shuttle had one as part of the gear, it’s a kinda funny piece of kit. Super tight to be a normal ambulance, but a zurulian can fit in there right fine with a patient, it’s got some magical gyro-stabilization because no way it could speed off like it did and fucking fly over a pile of debris like that without killing the ride, to say nothing of the patient. But fuck, I read the specs of the thing while we were taking the shuttle down, they’re written in the cockpit. Thing could apparently hit supersonic speed with a set of secondary thrusters it has, it wouldn’t do it for long because that’d melt the engine down completely but it could. Who the fuck puts that fucking speed on an ambulance?
You can see I’m lacking adjectives at this point? Because this is all so absurd. The recovery vehicle, that’s what it’s called, grabbed the kid and sped the hell off. “No bedside manners for us, let’s go” is all my partner said when we started heading for the next life sign. We had people who’d barricaded themselves in furniture and underground and couldn’t get back out, people who’d given up a limb to hide in a tight squeeze.
The worst were the ones that… They were still begging for help, ‘unfinished meals’ the fucking teddy said. How do you get so callous? Only from seeing this too much. Fuck is that what being a veteran in this job is? Dealing with this fucking horrorshow so much you get like that? But still, if their heart is beating it’s good enough, even those ones got help. I took a ride in the recovery vehicle with one of those.
Krakotl, it was. Don’t matter how much you hate the birds, you see one like that, torn open and half eaten begging to god to have one more second in this universe… You ain’t human if you can still hate. Idiot lizard decided to have a meal mid-bombardment, it looks like, building collapsed on him and pinned his body on the bird. I pulled the stone out of the bird, my partner dragged the arxur carcass out of the way, there was so much blood. You’d think that them not bleeding red makes it feel less like blood, it doesn’t. Sealant gel applied to the open blood vessels, beautiful thing that gel, it can basically serve as a physical barrier to prevent blood loss and it can be removed safely, and we wrapped them in a sealing blanket.
Sealing blankets are amazing emergency devices. They’re stored in this plastic bag because they need to remain wet, but you warp the patient in it and it constricts with just enough pressure to do what you need it to (there’s a control for it), in this case keeping the bird’s insides on the inside, and it’s soaked in a cocktail of antiseptics and painkillers that work for just about any species. It’s more than just soaked, even, the material it’s made of actually very slowly dispenses a low dosage of the fluids it absorbed serving basically like an IV drip in this situation. When the recovery vehicle arrived I tapped out, as they say. I’d accompany the patient to the base and take a moment to refresh myself before outing again in the next recovery vehicle call.
I’d like to say it was a wild fucking ride. But I didn’t even feel it, thing must have ship-class inertial dampeners somehow. They spared no expense for this fast rescue vehicle. And by the heavens that driver, I haven’t been around the pilot and the driver much since they had some separate training but this driver? Straight. Line. He’d only make a curve if going over an obstacle would take longer than around because he was not increasing the length of the trip by a single meter.
Also, the stretcher the poor bird was in? Gravity sledge. You heard that right, you know how costly and difficult miniaturized anti-gravity is, it doesn’t work without a much higher attached computational power than an object that size can handle. I bet it was receiving assistance from the vehicle. Moving them to the triage tent was easy, didn’t think there’d be much need for triage, mind, but that was the procedure. Full sensor suite you’d find at the best hospitals with three VR control sets to be able to perform multiple operations at once, I didn’t even think those things were mobile. The three on triage had a full readout on the bird in seconds, hear that seconds. So I did the last part of my job and wheeled the patient to the surgery tent with the report.
One thing I didn’t mention before is the fire. This wasn’t a farming colony, this is an extraction colony, they were pulling some manner of chemicals from the ground here and refining it. This place where we’re at mostly stored things, mind… Very flammable things. After the damn crocs were done being murderous psychopathic cannibals on the ground they decided to destroy everything just in case, of course the aftermath of dropping bombs on highly flammable storages is rampant fires. Just so you have an idea of the backdrop.
I got a bit of a chance to wash up after that patient, the boss (he’s apparently the most senior, in veterancy) ordered me to take a rest. So I took the chance to fish my soap from my personal belongings (we all got a bit of space to carry personal stuff down) and take a quick wash before sitting down here to take a nap.
Date: December 25th, 2136 Standard Terran Time - Day Twelve, Fieldwork
What a christmas gift, eh? Playing heavy machinery in a nightmare. Been putting less of my first aid skills and more of my muscles to use and I don’t blame them for it, the heavy duty tools are all showing signs of wear by now, and I can replace them with my hands for some uses. They’ve got plenty of people that can stabilize a patient, they don’t have many tools.
I asked around a bit how long we were planning to stay, and whether there was a bigger relief fleet coming. “Until everyone’s saved” was the first answer and “Nobody knows” was the second. After all, this is ostensibly a Federation planet, and we were waiting on one of their relief fleets to show up. My next question was about, how long did we have supplies for, and the Beacon of Hope came geared for 30 days of operation with six ground crews. We had eighteen ground crews going, because the damage was extensive across the entire planet.
We had a third of the supplies we would normally have, and I’d be insulted if they didn’t start rationing supplies between ground crews. If the situation was this dire they’d have to make decisions about where their supplies would be best spent. Please heavens, let this place be a priority, I don’t want to teach those poor teddy bears how to do low-tech lifesaving.
So for now, we need to go easy on our tools to keep having them, and as luck would have it I’ve got enough physical capacity to replace them in about a third of their use cases. So for the last two days I’ve grown pretty accustomed to the recovery vehicle as I get moved from one place to another to move debris and carry things.
I’ve also noticed everyone seems a bit more relaxed when I’m around sometimes. Though I’ve the impression it isn’t quite my presence itself, that tends to happen right before I go take a nap. I don’t mind the weirdness, whatever helps those guys. They’re making me question the way everyone hypes up human stamina because they’re keeping right the hell up with my work shifts.
Date: December 28th, 2136 Standard Terran Time - Day Fifteen, Starvation
Well, that was the call I was hoping we wouldn’t have. Right when what we’ve started finding more and more is the deeply wounded and the infected.
We’ve been on the ground for twelve days, chances of survival of anyone at this point is minimal, but minimal isn’t zero and that’s good enough to keep working. Unfortunately, there are other ground crews in bigger population areas, which means a higher volume of minimal chances, which means they get the resource allocations.
The power generator should be good, each one lasts the full month so that won’t be a problem. But most of our miracle medicine will start having to be rationed, also the hydraulic lifters gave up the ghost. Not like they were bad but it was simply from excess of use, my back knows the feeling at this point.
We’re going to run out of antiseptics in three to five days if we keep going at this rate, as well. Hopefully we should have saved everyone that we can at that point. But there was a small miracle, or rather, there was a small underestimation on my part.
I thought I’d have to teach those guys how to save a life without their spacer tech and miracle medicines when we ran out of stitch-gel. Stitch-gel is a rapid-clotting agent that effectively serves as instant stitches, it’s amazing. And we ran out of it the soonest. Then a woman with a horrifying neck wound was brought in, gal went down fucking fighting she did, don’t know how she took down her would-be killer the beast’s claws were still dangling from her neck. The fuck kind of movie hero was she? But the moment we’d remove the damn things (also did I mention her lower body was burned? She definitely wasn’t moving on her own, those legs are gone) she’d bleed to death and there’d be nothing to do about it.
And here’s where I underestimated them. She was taken out of the surgery tent and got to the next shuttle to the Beacon, she certainly bled a lot but she did not bleed to death. The surgeon had opted to, instead of bringing anything personal like me, pack additional supplies as his personal items. Like a fucking mile of biodegradable stitching string and a whole ass set of needles, plus some weaker over-the-counter painkillers.
I thought I’d have to teach them how to handle some primitive medicine, but they came readier for it than I did. They knew they’d be sitting here until they ran out of resources. They gave up any possible nicety they could have brought to buy a few more days worth of supplies.
I’d say I was ashamed of my choices but I don’t think I am. I realized why they kind of gather around me before I take a nap- It’s not the nap, it’s my soap. I brought a mint-scented one, you know, when you can bring some niceties to help your mind in the field you do. Turns out the scent is doing some wonders for their mental health.
Pfft, big muscles and smelling nice, that’s what i’m doing right now. I’m cool with it, people often forget the effect some small things missing can have on a bigger operation. Dude done did an open heart surgery in the middle of a fucking field hospital to save a life, he deserves to take a good nap.
There’s something else but i’m not sure if I should say it. I know, history and all, but do I want people to remember this happened?
---
[Part 2]
Okay so I got an immense surge of inspiration to write this one. Mostly also 'cause i'm a little tired of the only depictions of our allies out there being their failures, I mean sure it's a great narrative driver but it gets a exhausting a bit.
Plus i've also been trying to writre something in the vein of this for like two months at this point so I changed format and story while keeping the important parts. And it seems i'll have to split it in two parts because I hit Reddit's limit.

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A long standing problem on my life has been people seeing me as an annoying or unbearable person. On early middle school, i used to be bullied for having long hair and (in other cases) for being too sensitive and doing weird things, like, stupid irritating jokes or just plainly bringing weird things. I was constantly kicked out of friend groups, both online and Real ones, due to me being "unecessary", "unbearable" or just plainly childish/dramatic. This dragged on until about 2019, when i finished middle school and (miraculously) did an 180° turn in my life and, for 4 years, enjoyed a bit of a better situation, being accepted by groups and actively establishing relationships with others, socializing more and etc... and then the goddamn pandemic came in.Since 2019 i have a feeling my mental health has been in steady decline and, in a way, i feel that i'm actively becoming more and more annoying again, and that the days of middle school are coming back, haunting me once again. It isnt the same exact thing, but it has a lot of the same energy. Ive been kicked from two friend groups again, something that since 2018 hadnt happened, with me being seen as "okay" or just plain neutral in these places, at max some guy who asked too much and liked to comment too much about personal things. And from there the old ghosts of the 2010s have come to fuck with me again, with me becoming more and more terrible as time passes.
This time though, as i'm more mature and finally got sessions with the therapist, i managed to understand (Hopefully) and name the shitty behaviors i have that make people feel i'm unbearable or annoying. Separating them in two sessions, i have:
1- Me and the world, problems that come out of the ways ive learned to interact and deal with the world, behaviors learned and actively applied as reactions. In this category i can include2- Me and my Inner faults, problems that most likely arise as out of internal psychological or neurological issues i have.
On the first category, i believe most of the "fixable" ones are included, the things i can actively work to eliminate and be better with the people around me, to be more sociable and enjoyable to other people. On this one i can include:
Manipulative/Dramatic and "too personal" behavior: I put these all in the same category because i believe they're all manifestations of the same thing that ive developed over time: Attention seeking behavior. It took almost 10 years for me to recognize, only doing soo when a friend pointed out i always self-degrated when i posted my art because "I wanted others to pity me". It was harsh, yes, but that kinda kicked off all the rollercoaster that worked as an epiphany of sorts on what exactly other people hate on me and, through secondary effects, make me miserable. I believe this sort of behavior probably originated out of a mix of many things, including a terrible interaction with my parents, which always lended things to me when i appealed to emotion, like, for example, when i got grounded for 2 months for biting a classmate in class, i got out like, a week after because i recurred to telling to my mom that i was sorry and depressed about it (While, FR, i didn't feel anything, i just, degraded myself to convince her). Such repeated behaviors with my parents, added to some other interactions with friends, both on the internet (Which lasted *for a long time*, for example, back in 2016 (i was 11-12) i always dramatized whenever i got kicked from the discord group i was with my friends. Like, the girl, who i'll call B, was super emotionally and psychologically unstable, loved to kick me and threaten to kick me for the littlest of things, and constantly did that over and over and over again, and whenever that happened, i went into her DMs and begged her to forgive me, that i wanted to commit suicide, that i hated myself, that i was scum, etc etc etc etc) and IRL, which manipulating got my way through things, probably reinforced such trait to collossal scales, to the point i always recurred (and i still catch myself recurring some time ago) to saying "im sorry" and degrading myself when i lose anything, like a political debate. Ive noticed Drama works as a sort of mean for me to get validation and pity from other people, and that i actively made things that werent that bad into giant storms just to get validation or help from others. Its something extremely frequent, and ingrained in my head, manifestating in many ways, from me just "sharing personal things" to actively self harming to get attention. I want to break out of this cycle and crush such behavior, but whenever it happens, it happens like an impulse, and its extremely hard to control. Ive managed to cut some incidents from happening, but a lot still slip through. I hate making my friends feel bad, i want to purge that out of my life.
Lack of filteUnecessary comments or topics: That is also something pretty old, and a thing that pushes until today. I Always end up saying things too weird or jokes too edgy, things that are unfunny or just straight up eyerolling. From a joke about "haha funny antisocial people" to some really dark humor (and some borderline prejudicial jokes), i always slip up something weird midway through. On some more innocent cases (which compose the majority), i ask up something too cringy, offtopic or end up talking about useless stuff. A recent example was when i ended up speaking too much about the 2008 crisis in a discussion completely unrelated to it (History and that stuff) to the point my friends asked me to stop for gods sake, those are specially the hardest ones to catch, i just, speak too much and like to speak in these cases. Ive been trying to fight off that with a series of "Filtering questions", like, firstly with the FORD filter, "Is it related to family, occupation, relationships and hobbies or Dreams?", a generic question that wouldnt poke too much or be too annoying. After that, i ask myself "Is it too nerdy? Is it too specific/Weird? Does it pertain to the discussion? *Is this a ramble?* *Is this you being dramatic?*", and only after that i say something. I managed to keep up for a while but i forget to ask them and ive become increasingly impulsive as time passes. its been a hindrance, again, and i want to find a way to cut off and know what to say better. Ive heard about "Listening more, talking less", but i just, cant, the impulse of talking is too large and its hard to remind myself of it every time i'm talking with someone. What could i do to crush this behavior? Its probably one of the core things following manipulative behaviors to make people distance from me
Asking too much/Not learning by myself: At this point, this encounters itself amidst a valley between internal and external problems, as it ties with something that could be innate to me, but i still have my thoughts about it being connected to a lack of discipline or just plain laziness. This manifestates itself mostly as me crutching too much on others, asking them too much for help, even about basic stuff on fields i dont know, instead of using google to find answers and learn by myself. Its been one of the core things that make people growingly distaste me recently, since august of 2022, ive been too lazy and not googling up stuff. Like, i wanted to do a conlang thing, and instead of googling about it and actually learning it, i crutched on one of my friends that knew conlangs to explain it to me, while i could have learned all of it on myself. Ive been trying to restrict at least my questioning through a similar questioning filter, which i ask "Is it Something you can google? Can you learn it by yourself? is it something only your friend knows? Do you really need it?" Before i question anyone. This is also hard, because of the same reason listed on the lack of filter part, *there's an impulse*, Although ive been managing to control it a bit.
Speaking too much/Saying too much: Pretty much what it says on the tin, i speak too fast IRL to the point i actively interrupt people, and when i cant say, i end up feeling like i'm almost blowing up internally. There's an active impulse to doing that and yep, it also makes me extremely annoying.
Those are the big four that fuck me on the topic "Me and the world", and the ones i think affect me the most. On a brighter side, these are probably fixable as, at least from what i noticed, they are built patterns, not something really that i was born with.
On the second category are the ones i'm afraid i cant really "fix", at best only mitigate and fight it off:
1- Extreme lack of attitude towards Doing stuff: Essentially, i want, for example, to learn french do a conlang or , the biggest example, read something, but i just cant bring myself to do it, i always slip into something else and i feel like my brain is jumping out of my head. I have a lot of trouble keeping a routine to study all of those and actively keep learning them. I have my own suspicions that it might be some sort of mental condition but, as i dont have any sort of diagnosis, i assume it is just me being lazy. What could i do to get shit done and actually learn the stuff i want to? I feel my life would be thousands of times better if i could fix it.
2- Emotional fragility/Immaturity: I feel my emotions are, like, lions, they're extremely powerful and constantly take me over, be it anger, sadness, happiness, they pull me with the power of a thousand suns, and i end up angry and wasted over stupid stuff. IE: The Youtube anti adblock campaign managed to distract me for a whole day, to the point i had trouble concentrating on studying because *i was mad*. Other example is me feeling overwhelmed because one of my closest friend came out as trans. I'm not joking, i love her and all but it made me feel messed up and anxious as fuck for a week and it still triggers anxious stuff on me. Its not good, i shouldnt react like that. I have no idea what could cause this exactly, except perhaps the way i was raised, with my mom being extremely emotional and all and me copying it in some way.
3- Fear of abandoment/Abandoment: Ohhhh boy, that's a complicated one, and ties to me since 2012-2013, and it essentially was the culprit of almost all depressive episodes i had since then. in 2022 i had a depressive episode because a friend group broke apart (and that depressive shit lasted for almost 3 months), in 2021 i had a depressive episode because i lost a friend, in 2020 i had a depressive episode because a friend group was over and in 2019 i got in a slight melancholic feel because a friend was avoiding me a bit. The list goes on and since 2015 ive had, yearly, a depressive episode due to the fear of abandoment. I'm pretty sure it came due to that fact i mentioned about being kicked out a ton from friend groups when i was 11-12, marking my emotions and leaving a scar until today (B's fault, mostly), but i need to stop getting crunched by it. It has triggered Manipulative actions before (As a way to "Keep groups together") and it makes me melt down whenever some drama happen. I can't stand Drama between friends because it always evokes it on me and makes me feel terrible. I need to surpasss it and man up, but i have no idea how besides therapy. I'm going on it but i wanted to see if there are ways i could work on myself to help on such trauma actively. I also have trouble declouping for abusive relationships due to that, fearing to lose the person even if they’re hypercontrolling assholes
4- Possible mental conditions: Well, soo far from what i'm going on the therapist, he heavily suspects i have OCD and Anxiety, and those *wreck* my day. Ive lost count how many times i spiraled into feeling terrible due to OCD and how many times anxiety was triggered over stupid things and made me have trouble dealing with simple stuff. I couldn't draw koichi from starbound for almost 3 years because i associated him with my anxiety for some reason. Besides these two, we have some suspection that i might have ADHD (and given some stuff, specially book reading, i wouldnt be surprised). How could i manage off those better? They actively throw a hammer into my social interactions and harm others in some subtle ways. I know self acceptance is good but like, i dont want to end up exclusively on neurodivergent friend groups that tolerate me, i want to supress my bad traits, not live with them causing a mess, even if this costs a ton for me.
Soo yeah, what could i do to control myself better to follow my guidelines and cut off those behaviors? What are some exercises or training i could do to practice control and better handling against these things?

Are you looking to enhance your computer skills and knowledge in Laxmi Nagar, Delhi? With the ever-increasing demand for technology proficiency, it has become essential to equip oneself with computer education. Whether you are a student or a working professional, learning computer courses can prove extremely beneficial in today's digital world. But with so many institutes offering various computer courses, choosing the right one can be overwhelming. No worries! In this blog post, we bring you the best options for computer courses in Laxmi Nagar that will help you acquire valuable skills and expertise in no time!
Which institute is best for computer course?
When it comes to choosing the
, several factors come into play. It is crucial to consider factors such as reputation, faculty expertise, course curriculum, and student reviews before making a decision.
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One of the top institutes offering computer courses in Laxmi Nagar is ARTH Education. With experienced trainers and state-of-the-art facilities, they offer various courses ranging from basic computer skills to advanced programming languages. Another popular option is Aptech Computer Education which provides comprehensive training programs in software development and IT infrastructure management.
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For those looking for specialized courses like web designing or digital marketing, ADMEC Multimedia Institute can be an excellent choice. They are known for their industry-specific training modules that provide practical knowledge along with theoretical concepts.
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Other notable institutes worth considering include NIIT Laxmi Nagar Centre and TGC Animation & Multimedia. Ultimately the right institute depends on your individual needs and requirements.
Which course is best for basic knowledge of computer?
If you are someone who is looking for a course to gain basic knowledge of computers, then there are several options available in Laxmi Nagar, Delhi. The key is to find an institute that offers quality education and practical training.
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The most common course for gaining basic computer knowledge is the Basic Computer Course. This course covers topics such as Microsoft Office tools (Word, Excel, and PowerPoint), internet browsing, email management, and file management. It's perfect for beginners who want to learn how to use a computer effectively.
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Another popular option is the Certificate in Information Technology (CIT). This course provides comprehensive training in different aspects of IT like hardware maintenance, software installation & configuration along with Operating System concepts.
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Apart from these courses provided by various institutes including ARTH Education; many online platforms also provide free or low-cost courses on computer basics. These online courses can be accessed from anywhere at any time according to your convenience.
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Ultimately it depends on your personal preference and availability but choosing a reputable institute like ARTH can help ensure that you receive quality education and hands-on experience with real-world scenarios.
How much is computer classes?
If you're looking to enroll in a computer course, one of the first things that may come to mind is the cost. The price of computer classes can vary depending on various factors such as the type and duration of the course, location, and institution offering it.
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In Laxmi Nagar, Delhi, there are several institutes that offer computer courses at different price points. Some institutions charge a few thousand rupees for basic courses while others may charge more for advanced courses.
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It's important to note that when it comes to learning new skills like computer technology, investing in quality education is crucial. While some cheaper options may seem attractive at first glance, they could end up costing you more in terms of time and money if they don't provide adequate training or support.
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Before choosing a course based solely on its cost, consider researching each option thoroughly. Look for reviews from past students or try contacting current students who can share their experiences with you firsthand.
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Ultimately, finding an affordable yet high-quality computer course requires careful consideration and research. Take your time to identify what specific skills you need to learn before making your final decision on which institute offers both quality education at an affordable price point.
Which online computer course is best for beginners?
Online computer courses have gained immense popularity in recent times due to the flexibility and convenience they offer. For beginners, there are several online computer courses available that cater to their needs.
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One of the best online computer courses for beginners is Codecademy. This platform offers interactive lessons on various programming languages such as HTML, CSS, Python, and JavaScript. The step-by-step approach adopted by Codecademy makes it easy for beginners to learn at their own pace.
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Another excellent option is Udacity's Intro to Computer Science Course. This course covers the basics of computer science along with practical exercises that enable learners to apply what they have learned in real-life situations.
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For those who wish to learn Microsoft Office Suite, LinkedIn Learning's Beginner’s Guide To Microsoft Office is a great choice. It provides an in-depth understanding of Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Outlook applications used frequently in offices worldwide.
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Coursera also offers beginner-level courses on a wide range of topics like Cloud Computing Basics or Introduction to Cybersecurity which can be taken up by anyone looking forward towards learning something new about computers or technology!
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These platforms are designed keeping in mind beginners' requirements; thus making them ideal choices for anyone starting with computers or programming languages!
artheducation - Computer Course in Laxmi Nagar
If you're looking for the best computer courses in Laxmi Nagar, Delhi, artheducation is definitely one of the top contenders. They offer a variety of courses ranging from basic computer skills to advanced programming languages.
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One of the reasons why artheducation stands out is their experienced and knowledgeable faculty members who are committed to providing high-quality education. The institute also has state-of-the-art infrastructure with well-equipped labs and classrooms.
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Whether you're a beginner or an expert, artheducation offers courses that cater to different skill levels. Their basic computer course covers everything from learning how to use Microsoft Office applications to understanding internet browsing and email usage.
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For those interested in more specialized fields like web development or graphic designing, they offer comprehensive courses on HTML/CSS, JavaScript, Photoshop and many other tools used in these areas.
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Additionally, at artheducation they provide hands-on training with real-time projects which makes it easier for students to gain practical knowledge and experience while studying at the institute.
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If you want quality education combined with practical experience when it comes to Computer Courses in Laxmi Nagar then artheducation should definitely be on your list of options!
Why to join ARTH?
Joining ARTH for computer courses in Laxmi Nagar can be a great decision for anyone who wants to learn new skills or improve their existing ones. With experienced trainers, well-equipped classrooms, and flexible timings, ARTH is the best institute for computer courses in Laxmi Nagar.
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But that's not all! The institute also provides practical training sessions and hands-on experience on live projects to help students understand how things work in real life. Moreover, they offer placement assistance to help students land their dream jobs after completing the course.
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If you're looking for the best computer courses in Laxmi Nagar that are affordable and provide quality education with practical knowledge then joining ARTH is your best bet. So why wait? Enroll yourself today and give your career a boost!
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Welcome!
This is a series I am going to be working on where I endeavour to cover various topics in physiology intermixed with clinical pearls to impart some knowledge that doctors of most specialties and grades will hopefully find useful when looking after acutely unwell patients. Join me as we dredge through the depths of anaesthetic exam revision to answer important questions like "why do CT ask for a pink cannula", "why frusemide is okay to give in AKI", "why is hypoxic drive a bunch of horse manure" and many more. Pick up some of this material and you'll be well on your way to becoming a pernickety anaesthetist, whether you like it or not!
Questions, comments, feedback, and suggestions are both encouraged and welcome.

Previous installments:

• IV access, resuscitation, fluids, and the cardiovascular system
  
• The physiology of ageing and illness, and its impact on critical care decision making
  
• Respiratory failure, oxygen therapy, and gas exchange
  
• Reduced consciousness, intracranial events, and the central nervous system
  

Kidney function, acute kidney injury, and acid-base disorders

Next stop along our systems review are the mighty kidneys. I won't talk to you about Lupus nephritis or renal tubular acidosis, however I will try my best to cover some more typical things you might encounter like acute kidney injury (AKI) and drug dosing in renal impairment while trying to avoid embarrassing myself as a non-renal doctor.

What do the kidneys do?

An obvious question, they allow us to get rid of waste substances in urine. They are so much more than that however, they:

• Regulate electrolyte concentrations, water balance and plasma volume, plasma osmolality
• Regulate red blood cell production
• Regulate blood pressure via RAA system influencing vascular resistance
• Maintain acid-base homeostasis
• Control Vitamin D production
• Produce glucose from proteins and triglycerides (gluconeogenesis)

We will focus on only a few of these in this post, but the kidney's multiple roles and complex biochemical signalling deserves as mention as it can make diagnosing and understanding disease states difficult. It can also make us forget what other consequences there might be for patients in these disease states.

How do we measure kidney function?

In some respects knowing the heart or the brain aren't working is easy. Low blood pressure and infection? Septic shock. Low blood pressure + STEMI? Cardiogenic shock. Unconsciounsess or coma? Well whatever it is, it ain't working. So what about the kidneys, well we have creatinine, right? WRONG.
Although the kidney has many functions as we noted before, the easiest methods to quantify function look at the obvious: waste production. Its function is the sum of filtration through all the glomeruli in the kidneys, the glomerular filtration rate (GFR). When a substance is freely filtered through the kidneys and is neither secreted nor reabsorbed (which occur in the tubules rather than the glomeruli), the rate at which that substance is removed or cleared from the plasma can be used to measure GFR (in mL/min).
This substance is inulin and not creatinine. Because inulin isn't naturally present in our bodies, it has to be infused and then its concentration and the rate of decay measured. This is impractical clinically, so creatinine was selected as a practical alternative. The correlation between serum creatinine and measured GFR was researched and various formulas like MDRD and CKD-EPI were developed to estimate GFR (eGFR). This is why labs report eGFR as opposed to GFR. (There are also other methods to determine GFR like radionuclide scintigraphy...)

What's the problem?

The estimation of the GFR relies on assumptions that are not without problems. This review covers the topic at length, however the main points are:

• Creatinine is secreted, unlike inulin. As mentioned this occurs in the tubules, so changes in secretion will affect serum creatinine level despite a static filtration rate. As renal diseases progress, more and more creatinine is secreted, making serum concentrations less reflective of actual filtration.
  
• To truly reflect instrinsic renal function creatinine has to be in a steady state with stable generation and serum concentration. Creatinine is produced as a waste product of protein breakdown mainly from muscles. Therefore anything affecting catabolism, muscle activity, dietary protein intake, can alter this steady state. Frail sarcopenic patients will have artificially low creatinines and may not get as significant of a rise as a young muscular person in AKI.
  
• There has to be adequate delivery of creatinine to the glomeruli. The kidneys receive ~20% of the cardiac output, so the heart has to be pumping out effectively with healthy blood vessels, good volume and blood flow. A hypovolaemic patient with an MI may have a high creatinine despite working kidneys, they're just not being adequately perfused. Chronic diseases like hypertension, diabetes, heart failure, lead to upset of autoregulation of normal afferent (entering) arterioles, whereas ACE inhibitors and ARBs block AT-II from causing vasoconstriction of efferent (outgoing) arterioles, an imbalance can lead to renal impairment if perfusion isn't maintained, or improved blood flow and urine output if it is.
  
• The studies from which eGFR formulas are derived were conducted in mostly European and North American populations with elderly, black and CKD patients being significantly underrepresented. They only measured GFR a few times a year. With increasingly older, frailer, sicker patients, leading more sedentary industrialized diets and lifestyles, will the accuracy of these formulas hold up with time?
  
• eGFR correlates loosely with important indicators like proteinuria, fluid status, blood pressure, acidosis, anaemia, bone disease, iron deficiency, tubular function, etc. In the absence of those indicators, the elderly often have decreased GFR without increases in morbidity and mortality.
  

The takeaway is that creatinine and eGFR are tools developed from the assessment and monitoring of long term renal function. It is not designed for use in patients with acute fluctuations or those with zero kidney function (eg, anuric dialysis dependent).

What else we can monitor?

The example of the heart earlier was misleading. Blood pressure is influenced by many factors. Septic shock is actually a high cardiac output state with low systemic vascular resistance (SVR). Patients with heart failure can have normal blood pressures despite severe systolic dysfunction and poor exercise tolerance. Blood pressure is an easy surrogate marker because determining cardiac output and SVR is invasive and complex (of course we have focused echocardiography to help us these days).
A surrogate marker we can use for the kidneys is urine output (UO). After all the end product of glomerular filtration is the ultrafiltrate which will become the urine. If there is adequate urine output despite raised or increasing creatinine levels, we can be reasonably satisfied the kidneys are actually receiving enough blood flow to get rid of waste and perform its other functions.

Acute Kidney Injury

This leads us into one of the most commonly encountered entities in hospitalised patients: AKI. Let's look at the KDIGO criteria seen in the table below.

AKI Stage	Serum creatinine criteria	Urine output criteria
1	SeCr increase ≥26 umol/L <48hrs or SeCr increase ≥1.5 - 2x from baseline	<0.5mL/kg/hr for ≥6hrs
2	SeCr increase ≥2-3x from baseline	<0.5mL/kg/hr for ≥12hrs
3	SeCr increase ≥354 umol/L <48hrs or SeCr increase ≥3x from baseline or started on renal replacement therapy (any stage)	<0.3mL/kg/hr for ≥24hrs or anuria for ≥12hrs

^{Note: UO <0.5mL/kg/hr is the definition of oliguria.}
Definining by creatinine is a more practical screening test in most situations, allowing earlier diagnosis and intervention. UO can be monitored during the course of the day to identify patients who are borderline or not responding to treatment, may need re-evaluation of the cause, or escalation of care. This way a combination of the two can help offset the limitations of each method.
NICE guidance already exists on the diagnosis and management of AKI, most hospitals will have care bundles or even 'AKI nurses', so I'll run over a few important points.

• Pre-renal - This only means the cause lies outside the kidneys, and in at least in the early stages there is no histological change in the kidneys. In many cases like sepsis, diarrhoea, haemorrhage, there can be a relative or absolute fluid deficit and IV fluids are generally indicated. However excessive fluids can result in interstitial oedema in the kidneys, reducing the glomerular pressure gradient and so also reducing filtration. Similarly in poor cardiac output states where there is venous congestion there is a problem with the outflow of blood from the kidneys, so this is not a cause to reflexively withhold diuretics.
  
• Intrinsic - Here there are structural histological changes in the kidney, caused by many intrinsic renal diseases or nephrotoxic agents like aminoglycosides, vancomycin, NSAIDs, etc. If this is suspected, stopping the offending agent generally resolves AKI without needing a biopsy. Furosemide is not mentioned here as it is not inherently nephrotoxic. Acute tubular necrosis is often mentioned as a specific clinical entity, either due to nephrotoxic agents or sustained hypoperfusion from pre-renal causes. It is not a very helpful term since histological tubular damage has rarely been proven in studies, nor does it help with treatment.
  
• Post-renal - Obstruction may be incomplete, acute on chronic, with a normal ultrasound, no oligo/anuria, and may be associated with other pathologies like a kidney stone with pyelonephritis or sepsis. Catheters can get blocked too so don't forget a bladder scan if anuric, and obstruction can rarely be external such as by tumours or abdominal compartment syndrome.
  

When do I refer to renal or ICU?

Local protocols aside, advice should be sought when the patient does not appear to be responding to medical management and there may be a need for renal replacement therapy (RRT). This is often in the form of intermittent haemodialysis (iHD) on renal wards, and continuous venovenous haemodiafiltration (CVVHDF) in ICU. There are small differences in mechanism, efficacy, and indications of the many forms of RRT, the details of which aren't important for most non specialists. Generally accepted indications for RRT include:

• Symptomatic uraemia - Encephalopathy, neuropathy, pericarditis. Elevated urea on its own is not generally an indication.
  
• Hyperkalaemia - Persistent hyperkalaemia (>6.5) despite insulin/dextrose. Severe hyperkalaemia (>8 ) with arrhythmias, requiring pacing or isoprenaline. This can occur even without anuria and should be escalated as it obviously can be life threatening.
  
• Severe metabolic acidosis, pH <7.1 - This will depend upon the cause and patient's condition. Patients with DKA and pH <7 can almost always quickly be turned around with insulin and fluids. Severely septic patients may not be able to tolerate medical management long enough to improve without RRT.
  
• Toxins or overdose - Some medications and toxins may be removed by RRT (eg, lithium, vancomycin), with specific type of RRT better for some drugs than others. This is uncommon and decisions will depend on the input from renal, clinical state of the patient, and advice from toxbase or national poisons service. A drug may not be removed by RRT but if it leads to another entity such as acidosis it may still warrant RRT.
  
• Fluid overload or pulmonary oedema refractory to diuretics - If patient is anuric despite diuretics then it's more likely they'll end up requiring RRT. In contrast pulmonary oedema in decompensated heart failure with worsening renal function is not helped more by RRT than by adequate diuresis.
  

Absent from above include oligo/anuria or specific values of urea and creatinine. This doesn't exclude them as considerations, however the whole picture should be taken together to make decisions on an individualised basis. It might be that the patient improves despite a creatinine of 700, it might be they become acidotic and hyperkalaemic with a creatinine of 400. Even on the ICU we still don't know when the right time is to start RRT.
This is a reason why renal and ICU often advise the generic "monitor I/O" rather than taking over care. We do appreciate accurate monitoring is unrealistic on the wards, but we also don't have the ability to admit everyone when few will need a specific intervention like RRT. An adequate UO to aim for is above 0.5mL/kg/hr. As AKI resolves some patients enter a polyuric phase, this will resolve but watch that they don't become hypovolaemic in the process, it may require further fluids matching what is lost.

Renal vs ICU referral

This will depend on local arrangements and acuity. Refer to renal if:

• Single organ kidney failure - Normotensive haemodynamically stable patients, not septic or comorbid with poor cardiac function. The principal reason haemodialysis is intermittent because fluid is more rapidly removed therefore borderline hypotensive patients may not tolerate large volumes of blood and fluid being rapidly withdrawn from their intravascular space. I have seen patients arrest from starting dialysis!
  
• Unclear cause of AKI - ICU can offer RRT as a bridge, but the underlying cause has to be treated, if the cause is unclear or there is persistent renal dysfunction, this will require renal input. We refer for this from the ICU too.
  
• Diagnosis requiring specialist treatment - Immunosuppressive therapy for vasculitis.
  
• Renal transplant patients - Even with a clear cause and response to treatment, the precarious nature of immunosuppression, renal impairment and graft function mean these usually merit a call to transplant renal physicians.
  

Refer to ICU if:

• Multiorgan failure - Borderline blood pressure, high oxygen requirements, fluctuating consciousness level, coagulopathy, these patients are unlikely to tolerate iHD, but more importantly it suggests they are critically ill and may need rapid escalation of care (if appropriate) beyond what renal can provide (intubation, vasopressors, etc).
  
• No on-site dialysis service - In hours there may be arrangements to transfer to partnetertiary hospital particularly for complex patients. However hospitalised dialysis patients known to the renal team may require more urgent RRT than this allows. Some ICUs have the plumbing to offer dialysis (this will need a dialysis nurse however).
  
• Patient in extremis - ICU may be able to offer more timely input in patients needing urgent intervention especially if prior to surgery. A patient with bowel perforation and severe AKI will usually be septic and in multiorgan failure anyway, but a 70 year old with obstructive pathology may benefit from being close to theatre to offer RRT while awaiting a nephrostomy (or exchange). If it's reversible and there is somebody willing to operate, I would even dialyse a patient with a DNACPR we wouldn't otherwise admit.
  

Specific considerations

• AKI in heart failure
  
  • The heart-kidney interaction is complex and works both ways (see this review). Volume status and cardiac function needs to be carefully evaluated. Seeing CCF documented in the notes is meaningless. What does their most recent echo show? What did they present with? Stable HF with reasonable ventricular function and sepsis with no signs of overload can receive fluids. Acute cardiogenic pulmonary oedema with severe ventricular dysfunction probably has AKI rooted in the decompensation of heart failure (type 1 cardio-renal syndrome) and would benefit from diuresis.
  • Acute decompensated HF is usually a hypervolaemic state. Elevated right atrial pressures reduce the arteriovenous pressure gradient in the kidney leading to venous congestion, poor outflow. Inflow is also limited adding to the poor cardiac output so glomerular filtration is reduced, leading to a vicious cycle. Aggressive diuresis with furosemide reduces this congestion, improves glomerular pressure gradient and increasing filtration (as long as the patient does not become hypovolaemic). Furosemide's initial beneficial effects in venous congestion is preceded by its diuretic action and is thought to be due to it causing venodilation, reducing preload. The addition of acetazolamide may improve decongestion further.
  • Creatinine rising is not an indication to stop diuresis, it may in fact signify adequate decongestion with improved patient outcomes.
• AKI in liver disease
  
  • Like in heart failure this is a complicated topic (see this recent review). AKI is very common, occuring in up to 50% of hospitalised patients with cirrhosis. While we hear things like hepatorenal syndrome thrown around, common things being common we have to look at all the usual causes we've discussed first (so don't just throw terlipressin at everyone!)
  • Pre-renal causes are most common: Discontinue nephrotoxic drugs. Look for and cover for infections and spontaneous bacterial peritonitis. Hypovolaemia from diuretics or GI bleeds, resuscitate with crystalloids and blood as needed until euvolaemic (careful to avoid overload). Albumin has been found to improve survival in patients with SBP and can be considered if worsening renal function despite resuscitation (or following paracetensis for large volume >5L ascites). Hypervolaemia from congestion (cirrhotic cardiomyopathy leading to right heart failure can benefit from diuretics, abdominal compartment syndrome from tense ascites should be drained).
  • Intrinsic leaves us with tubulointerstitial causes and hepatorenal syndrome (HRS). Low fractional excretion of sodium and urine microscopy can help confirm HRS which offers a grim prognosis. Terlipressin may improve renal function at the cost of significant pulmonary oedema so regular volume assessment and avoidance of overload is paramount. RRT would only expected to be offered if waiting, or under consideration, for liver transplantation. If not, palliation will be the most likely alternative course.
• Drug dosing
  
  • I would avoid using the BNF in renal impairment. Many of its recommendations are different than common guidelines and frankly weird. Do talk to your pharmacist (also microbiologist where appropriate), they'll often refer to The Renal Drug Handbook which is a good resource and covers scenarios like RRT. Most drugs will be dosed based on creatinine clearance not eGFR so arm yourself with an app or calculator.
• Sodium bicarbonate
  
  • Bicarbonate infusions offer temporary extra buffering capacity, mopping up excess hydrogen ions resulting in a higher pH. This is beneficial in hyperkalaemia as a higher pH favours potassium moving intracellularly (for this reason saline is more harmful and Hartmann's more beneficial in hyperkalaemia). It also has accepted roles in tricyclic antidepressant overdose with adverse ECG findings (QRS, QT prolongation), urinary alkalinization (in salicylate poisonining, poor evidence in rhabdomyolysis), and normal anion gap metabolic acidosis (there is high cloride to replace loss of bicarbonate, see later).
  • Its use outside these indications is contentious. There is no evidence of benefit in DKA over conventional fluids even if normal saline's tendancy for acidosis may slow resolution of the acidaemia in DKA. It may be actively harmful in lactic acidosis and respiratory failure as the increased pH shifts the O2Hb dissociation curve to the left, causing reduced oxygen offloading. It also results in net CO₂ production (HCO₃⁻ + H⁺ → H₂CO₃ → H₂O + CO₂) which will have to be blown off with excess minute ventilation.
  • So why do ICU and renal advise it or use it themselves even with a lack of solid indications? Well, essentially it's a temporising measure. Severe acidaemia contributes to myocardial dysfunction, arrhythmias, and catecholamine resistance. In the critically ill it can be useful as a delay while you insert lines or in the hope it will avoid the need for RRT. The BICAR-ICU trial did find it delays the need for RRT and may even possibly reduce the need. I'm not entirely sold on the latter, but it can be reasonable to try if there are positive indicators like good UO.
  • How? Usually available in concentrated (8.4% with 1000mmol/L of each ion) or dilute (1.26% with 150mmol/L) forms. Due to the high tonicity of the former, 1.26% is generally preferrable especially if you can or want to give larger volumes. 8.4% should be reserved for fluid restricted states and should be given slowly via a central line except in an emergency. Slow infusions help combat significant CO₂ rises and hypernatraemia (especially with 8.4%). Dosing is 1 mmol/kg which is 1mL/kg of 8.4% or 6-7mL/kg of 1.26%. For real simplicity most patients can take a 50mL vial of 8.4% or 500mL bag of 1.26%.
• Iodinated contrast
  
  • The entity contrast induced nephropathy, better termed contrast associated acute kidney injury, is a contentious topic. There are many good reviews already on this topic.
  • The evidence is from old studies using high osmolality agents during PCI. Fluctuations in creatinine may not be indicative of actual renal function and may simply reflect the underlying illness requiring a scan rather than the contrast itself. Patients are not more likely to need long term RRT.
  • IV contrast with modern low osmolality agents isn't associated with AKI in patients who aren't and even those who are critically ill. There was no association in patients even with pre-existing AKI. Prophylaxis with intravenous saline nor sodium bicarbonate have been found to make a difference even in CKD patients with eGFR >30.
  • The tl;dr is unless you're in cath lab or IR suite bolusing large quantities of dye arterially it is probably irrelevant. The benefit of a quality contrast enhanced scan in diagnosing and treating the patient are likely to outweigh any miniscule risk. RCR guidelines mention appropriate consent and identification of patients at risk (eGFR <40) they do not exclude the use of contrast or require hydration, at any renal function. You are the doctor, it's up to you to discuss and determine need and benefit. (It's the radiographer's job to ask, don't @ them, but they shouldn't refuse either).

Acid-base disturbances

Now it would seem we are forced to consider the fundamental concept of what acid-base physiology even is. You might have heard about strong ion difference and become lost in confusion. You're not alone. Put simply, there are two competing theories that try to explain how pH changes occur in the body: the traditional model that uses the Henderson-Hasselbalch equation to mathematically explain pH with bicarbonate, and the Stewart model that uses the concept of strong ion difference to explain why changes in bicarbonate occur. The bottom line is that these are detailed explorations of physiology more useful for bed time reading than the bedside. For the interested details can be read elsewhere.
More practically, we can work through a blood gas in a systematic fashion to help decipher the type of acid-base disturbance. Start with pH → PO₂ (always check oxygenation) → PCO₂ (respiratory component) → HCO₃⁻ (metabolic component). I've reproduced this in a simple but limited table below for reference, but this is a more intuitive flowchart to work through.

pH	PCO₂	HCO₃⁻	Disturbance
<7.35	>6	↔	Acute respiratory acidosis
		↑	Chronic respiratory acidosis
	↔ /↓	<22	Metabolic acidosis
>7.45	<4.5	↔	Acute respiratory alkalosis
		↓	Chronic respiratory alkalosis
	↔ /↑	>26	Metabolic alkalosis

^{Numbers indicate primary abnormalities, arrows indicate compensatory changes. Respiratory compensation by altering ventilation occurs quickly, while renal compensation by altering bicarbonate excretion is a much slower process.}

Respiratory

With the topic being the kidney, I won't discuss respiratory acidosis here (see this earlier physiology bite). Acute respiratory alkalosis is due to hyperventilation blowing off CO₂. This can be due to obvious things like pain or anxiety, a compensation for hypoxaemia (eg, high altitude climbing), pregnancy (increased minute ventilation stimulated by progesterone), or salicylate poisoning (direct stimulation of respiratory centre).

Metabolic

Dipping back into some physiology, we can consider two concepts that can give us more information: base excess and anion gap. The purpose of these concepts is help narrow our differential diagnosis, rather than serve as pathophysiological explanations of illness.

• Base excess (BE) - This idea comes from Danish physicians during the polio epidemic where patients often experienced chronic CO₂ retention. For a standardised numerical way of gauging the degree of disturbance Siggaard-Andersen proposed BE to represent the quantity of acid in a lab that needed to be added to a solution of blood to normalise it to a pH to 7.40 and PCO₂ of 5.3. Not because the plan was to literally add acid, but this way you could easily quantify the degree of disturbance. Rather than use this concept Americans appear obsessed with the more complicated Winter's formula instead. Most blood gas analysers will calculate BE for us, often reported as standardised base excess (SBE), with a normal range of +/- 3. A negative base excess is sometimes described as a base deficit, they're the same thing.
  
  • SBE <-3 - There is a metabolic acidosis, alone or as compensation for a respiratory alkalosis.
  • SBE >3 - There is a metabolic alkalosis, alone or as compensation for a respiratory acidosis.
  • Mild -4 to -9, moderate -10 to -14, and severe <-15 (same but positive values for alkalosis)
  • It is especially helpful with mixed disorders or causes. A lactate of 4 doesn't explain a BE of -12 alone, are there other contributors to the acidosis? A bicarb of 30 doesn't explain a BE of +10, what else can be causing alkalosis?
• Anion gap (AG) - I have a more detailed reply here explaining anion gap. It is a theoretical number that exploits the body's need to maintain electroneutrality: we have a bunch of positively charged ions (cations) that are evenly matched with negatively charged ions (anions), and we measure some of these. When we have an excess of some anions that we don't measure like lactate this calculated number rises because one of the measured anions (bicarbonate) drops to compensate to maintain electroneutrality. Like BE, most blood gas analysers will calculate AG for you.
  

There are far too many causes and detailed physiology to discuss here exhaustively. If you want to read about the Cori cycle, Type A and B lactic acidosis, helpful mnemonics and more, head to this review or this section on Deranged Physiology.

Metabolic acidosis

Symptoms are non-specific, with the most obvious being hyperventilation for compensation. In severely acidotic states (pH <7) seek early ICU help. Awake patients will hyperventilate sometimes down to PCO₂ <2 which can dramatically increase work of breathing. Initiating invasive ventilation in this stage or patient fatigue can be very dangerous if hyperventilation isn't maintained, the acidosis can worsen and precipitate cardiac arrest. Hypotension from vasodilation and reduced cardiac contractility can occur, as well as arrhythmias, confusion, delirium, coma.

• High anion gap metabolic acidosis - The presence of unmeasured anions including: lactate, ketones (diabetes, starvation, alcoholic), salicylates, formate (metabolite of methanol), oxalate and glycolate (metabolites of ethylene glycol), other toxins.
  
• Normal anion gap metabolic acidosis - Losses of base (bicarbonate loss in GI tract via high ouput ileostomy or diarrhoea, renal loss via acetazolamide) or excess of acid (renal tubular acidosis, hyperchloraemia, adrenal insufficiency).
  
• Pitfalls: Albumin is an unmeasured anion, so low albumin can mask a high anion gap. Albumin corrected formulas have been developed. Similarly excessively high unmeasured cations like magnesium, calcium, and even lithium, can also lower the gap.
  

Treatment is aimed at eliminating the underlying cause with specific therapies as required like insulin in DKA, fomepizole for ethylene glycol poisoning, folinic acid in methanol poisoning, etc.

Metabolic alkalosis

Despite metabolic acidosis being the usual focus, metabolic alkalosis is actually the more common abnormality of the two in hospitalised patients and is frequently seen as a mixed disorder (like as a response to prolonged CO2 retention as seen in mechanically ventilated patients). In severe states it can lead to delirium, seizures, obtundation, arrhythmias.
The 'opposite' of acidosis, here we see a gain of alkali or loss of acid, with impaired bicarbonate excretion required to maintain this (via chloride or potassium depletion, impaired renal function, or volume depletion).

• Gain of alkali - Iatrogenic from bicarbonate infusions, citrate in transfused blood.
  
• Loss of acid - From the kidneys via diuretic therapy, or mineralocorticoid excess, hypokalaemia. From the GI tract by vomiting especially with pyloric stenosis or obstruction as there is gastric acid loss (with chloride) only, laxative abuse diarrhoea.
  

Treating the underlying cause is important as always. Where there is low chloride and hypovolaemia, this usually responds well to fluid replacement with saline and potassium as required. Acetazolamide can be given if there is hypervolaemia although in practice this is rarely required unless continued diuresis with other diuretics is required. Alkalosis results in low ionised calcium that can cause paraesthesias, but as calcium is buffered by albumin this rarely requires treatment and resolves with correction of the alkalosis.

Conclusion

This is another large topic where there was plenty to talk about. I had to cut down the scope significantly as it rapidly spun out of control, however I thought the nuances deserved a detailed writeup. Nothing is ever absolute so don't take any of this as incontrovertible evidence of the incompetence of a hated colleague (or their brilliance)! It will hopefully have given you some ideas to think about and research further when you see patients with AKI yourself.
Until next time!

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Tokyo - Yokohama - Nagoya - Kyoto - Osaka - Tokyo

Hi all, going to go through our trip covering golden week and time around it (: It was myself (F21) and my partner (M24) and the reasoning behind the timing was mainly due to bank holidays in the UK being unfortunately placed perfectly in line with golden week this year! Despite this, I feel we actually got pretty lucky with it all. I'll put an emoji to note which days were for golden week but for the tl;dr we weren't affected that much.
Other important contexts, both interested in Japan for a few different reasons. Anime isn't a small one but I'm also a huge fan of the Yakuza games, he's into the JDM car scene, and we just enjoy travelling in general. We didn't do many things like Universal, Disneysea etc. but hopefully there's some things in here that people will enjoy hearing about! I'll go through some tips/recommendations for the casual readers first before going into the trip in depth - please let me know if there's anything else you want to know about!

Tips + Recommendations

Yamato Takkyubin Luggage Forwarding If like us you are going to be staying in quite a few different places, this service is so so so good I cannot overstate it. We had two big suitcases and one smaller one, we sent just the big ones for two of the trips and then for the final trip from Osaka to Tokyo we sent all 3 and just used our backpacks to bring essentials for the night.Pretty much all hotels will allow you to use the service, some may request you pay them with cash for the actual service but for all but one of ours we could use card. We sent Yokohama -> Kyoto, then Kyoto -> Osaka, then finally Osaka -> Tokyo. There are options for same day delivery I believe however we did both the next day and for a few days later. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments and I'll answer if I can!
Trip Planning I've been fortunate to be able to travel a lot so wasn't nervous about the actual travel, however Japan is such a far away country that I didn't want to go and get there then not know what to do and waste my time. In the past holidays with family were more about relaxing on a beach, or with my partner our city breaks are short as they are other European countries and so easier to return to if we wanted. I wanted to take a different approach to this trip so I made a big Google Sheet and Google Map with all the places I wanted to visit/see. It was never meant to be a strict itinerary as some people I showed seemed to assume 😅 But it really helped me to visually see where things I wanted to go to were, and then make a rough plan in case I did get stuck at some point.Anyway it was a really good idea in hindsight and I'm very glad we did it for this trip as our first time going! Here's a picture of the map looks like, we didn't necessarily do everything but we did most things - https://i.imgur.com/2xLyy7Y.png. I used mymaps.google.com, to be honest there's definitely betteeasier to use tools out there but I got this to work for me so I stuck with it.
Walking People aren't kidding about the amount of walking, although I think our top amount was still under 30k so don't worry too much. That said, if you don't walk a lot anyway then your feet are going to hurt. My partner was fine, I was awful. I thought my shoes would be fine and apparently they weren't so if you can pack walking boots please do. The other thing is I think the way you walk affects it too, my partner and I both had multiple pairs of shoes with us but where his converse boots were fine, the soles of my feet were awful in the same types of shoes 😭
Driving I am not a driver but my partner is. He has a full manual UK driving license and insurance, and so for Japan all he needed was to get the International Driver's Permit a little before we went. We rented a car for three different occasions, two times from the same place then the final was for a JDM rental. All was fine, the JDM place was confused for a moment as my partner has a Polish passport + UK license but we translated Poland for him and after that there were no issues! You'll need to check what you need depending on where you're from, it's easier for us due to the same driving side although when we rented for Daikoku and the Nagoya drive they did give us an automatic so just be aware of that if you want to request/drive manual. The rental places we used were Orix rent-a-car for the Daikoku and Yokohama -> Nagoya trip and we had a Mazda 2. For the JDM rental we used Omoshiro.

Trip Report

Tokyo

25/04 - Airport, Shinjuku hotel, Shinjuku We followed a similar first day that I'm sure many of these reports will begin with - arrived at the airport, we had filled out the VJW forms and had both QR codes ready to go. Immigration had about an hour wait so longer than normal but we were also near the back of our plane and there was at least another full plane in front of us. Actually going through immigration was a complete breeze. Once through and picked up our luggage, we got a Welcome Suica, then headed to Shinjuku. We reached our hotel about 4 hours early for check-in, wasn't sure what to do for that time but they were happy to take our bags until we could go to the room (something that is consistent with all the hotels we went to thankfully). Jetlag was pretty bad, I was flagging by afternoon but we pushed through it and took the few hours to just walk around and see the sights. We spent some time in Hakone-yama before heading back to the hotel and getting cleaned up/accidentally falling asleep too early.
26/04 - Akihabara, Golden Gai Of course woke too early by not being as proactive as we should've with warding off jetlag but used that to leave early for Akihabara. After getting some breakfast we saw the Yodobashi Camera and went in there for about an hour just looking at all the floors 😅 It was raining a ton but it surprised us with how warm it still was and quickly realised why people prefer umbrella with no raincoat!! Spent pretty much the whole day in Akihabara, went round a ton of shops and also went into our first of many many arcades we'd go to. We went back to the hotel to return the items we'd bought then walked to Golden Gai as our hotel was about a 15-20 minute walk ^^ Had some delicious ramen, unfortunately didn't drink as my partner was finishing antibiotics for the first few days but it was still great to be there. Slept a lot later which was good.
27/04 - Kabukicho, Shinjuku National Garden This was more a day for me to fufill my Yakuza game sightseeing. Being so close to Kabukicho I was so excited to visit a city and be able to make my way round without a map loool. It was just the end of the blue festival so the iconic arch was still blue although I did get to see it red at the end of the trip so I wasn't too bothered about that. We went around Kabukicho, the square, again spent tons of time in the arcades and discovered how much we enjoyed the MaiMaiDX machines. Ended up getting one of the passports that save your progress and give you an extra play so if you like arcades then I recommend them!! After this and some lunch, we were going to do a walk to the national garden then realised I went the wrong way so we took the train. As a side note here, the Suica and train system is so useful. Very similar to using a card for the underground except it's actually clean. Walked around the national garden, it was very sunny and warm. Didn't know it had it before going but there's a starbucks in the middle of the garden and we managed to join the queue about 10 minutes before they stopped taking new orders. Had a nice time watching the sun set in that garden before heading back to the hotel.
28/04 - Teamlabs Planets Wasn't something I was going to initially go to however I checked out tickets the day previously and saw some for this day and decided we could do it as we had a ton of free time. I had chosen 2:30pm for an entrance time however it was such a nice day so we left early and spent time just walking around the docks. It was so so sunny, the area didn't have loads going on however it was still very pretty. We spent time in the parks and walking alongside the water. Teamlabs was pretty cool, I did enjoy the water based sections although dodging both influencer and family photos might detract from your experience. This was also where I realised I'd already become the stereotype tourist and was sunburnt :') I guess I had to learn my lesson physically and I did thankfully stop any further burning after this with diligent sun cream appliance afterwards pretty much every day. After this we went back to Shinjuku and after food we packed up ready to go to Yokohama.

Yokohama

29/04 - Bashamichi, Daikoku, Cosmo Clock ✨Showa Day Left our hotel at 11 and hadn't yet discovered the wonders of luggage forwarding so we brought all our bags with us on the train to Yokohama! Not too bad though, we got to our hotel a little early but they took our bags as we went and had lunch before the room was ready. Went around Bashamichi (another game location lol) before taking the train to central Yokohama. We had pre-booked the rental cars all before we left to ensure availability but there weren't any problems. This was also my partner's birthday which is something the rental staff realised whilst we were sorting out all the documents 😆. For Daikoku, we didn't need to pass through any ETC gates from Yokohama but it was the first time on the Japanese roads. It was a little nerve-wracking at first as there's very slightly different rules to UK roads but in general driving is fine. We reached Daikoku PA around 20 past 6pm, and it was about 2 hours until police moved everyone along. My partner was in dreamland with the cars that we saw, if you're into the JDM scene at all or just a petrolhead then you'll love it but it is a bit of luck with what you'll see. After we left Daikoku, we went back to our hotel. We'd checked in with them previously that we could keep the car with them as the hotel we had chosen had parking available for an additional cost. We left the car at the hotel then went out for drinks and to see the cosmo clock. Didn't ride it but it was very cool seeing it all lit up over Yokohama. We bar hopped a bit, then went back.
30/04 - Recovery... Not much to say about this day, my partner was fairly hungover so we returned the car to the rental place and then spent the day just chilling at our ryokan hotel and around Yokohama. No drinks this time round as we had a very long trip the next day!!

Nagoya (Road Trip from Yokohama)

01/05 - Expressways, Onshi-Hakone Park, Expressways, Shinshiro, Expressways, Nagoya I'll condense this one a bit otherwise I'll type forever but this was a really fun time. The driving totaled almost 6 hours by the end so it's not for the faint hearted haha. The point was that we'd stop a few times along the way though which is what we did end up doing. We sent our luggage with the forwarding service (to the hotel after Nagoya as we were just staying the one night), then had an early start as we went to the car rental for 8. We chose the same place we rented from for Daikoku and had the same sales rep sorting out any documents so it was a bit quicker although this time we did get a quick explaination on the toll gates. Anyone going on the expressways will need to know how to use them, we were a bit confused the first time but once you've done it a couple times it'll be smooth sailing (and it's such a good system for people with the automatic cards too). We left Yokohama and set our location for Nagoya. We went for about 2 hours before stopping in Odawara for a quick snack and pee break. Pretty overcast day but despite this we still decided to do a stop in a park on the way and went to Onshi-Hakone Park. It was very cool/bit scary going up the winding mountain passes but wow the views are incredible. We spent again probably a couple hours at the park, had some lunch, no view of Fuji but we could see a lot of the other mountains around which are breathtaking in their own rights (: It's right on Lake Ashi so we did get to see the pirate cruise going round. After this break we did another couple hours or so driving before stopping slightly outside of Shinshiro. Something I will say about the expressways is that it is insane how fast people go 😂 We're not about to try anything so it was sticking to the 120 on the signs for us but people just whizz by. Anyway, we stopped at a familymart in this village for a quick break and I know I've said it already but the views are so beautiful. It's green in the UK but it's something else, I kept wondering if it's just viewing through rose tinted glasses/greener on the other side but I don't think that's true at least about those countryside views. It was also one of the reasons we wanted to do the road trip instead of train at least this time round, we could stop in these places and take it in. After our stop there, it was back onto the expressway until we reached Nagoya. It was roughly 6pm when we reached Nagoya, we had intially booked the car for the whole day with return the next morning but they allow early return with Orix so we did that instead before finding our hotel and having some dinner. Not too much time in Nagoya but it was the first time seeing the bullet train which was cool. Nagoya itself has some nice sights, we were thinking about going to Liberty Walk the next day but instead we just decided we'd head to Kyoto once we left the hotel.

Kyoto

02/05 - Shinkansen, Kyoto, Nishiki Market It was a really lovely day and we were taking the shinkansen for the first time. The shinkansen from Nagoya is only 34 minutes but we did end up buying reserved seats as the station was pretty packed. This is probably the main thing we noticed with Golden week, everything else was busy but not insanely so. Nagoya station was a lot busier but otherwise fine. We didn't have JR passes as when I used the online calculator it didn't come out to be worth it for our particular travel so it was full fare for us. The shinkansen itself was good, we would be using it again for Osaka back to Tokyo but due to Nagoya being closer to Kyoto I didn't reeeally think I'd need to book early. It's probably a good idea still lol but it worked out fine for us to book same day despite how busy Nagoya was. Once in Kyoto we took our time walking down to our next hotel. This was another ryokan style so that was nice, we also passed a garden which we noted to go to the next day (Shosei-en Garden). Our luggage had arrived and was waiting for us at the hotel already so we got refreshed then went out for the evening. We went up to Nishiki market then walked back towards our hotel again. Had a sushi train small dinner as we hadn't had any sushi yet and I've also only had a train once before. It might not be the best Kyoto had to offer but wow was it still better than anything I'd had in the UK!! We then spent hours once again in an arcade, if you like games the MaiMaiDX machines really are addictive :')
03/05 - Shosei-en Garden, Higashi Hongan-ji, Tō-ji Temple, Nijō Castle✨Constitution Memorial Day We woke up early, had breakfast at the ryokan, then went straight for the garden. It was a beautiful day once again so plenty of suncream applied. The Shosei-en Garden isn't the biggest but it's so beautiful, they have this pond that looks so still but my partner spotted a turtle and then you start to see more and more. They have some historical buildings around the place, we spent about an hour there before going to the next place. We walked down the road to the next place, this was Higashi Honhan-ji temple. Both locations weren't really that busy to be honest. Seeing this temple was nice but personally I did prefer the gardens. We next went Tō-ji temple. This is one of those locations that are on the 'must-do in Kyoto' but I did like it a lot. The 5 story pagoda was a cool sight. It wasn't so busy although we were going around lunch time so hungry crowds were likely taking a small break (: We spent an unreasonable amount of time just looking at the koi fish in the moat not even in the temple area 🎏 Finally we went to Nijō Castle. This was quite busy although we were one of the latter groups going around as it was nearing the end of the day. Another of the listed must do's but again I would say it's a cool place to see. If you do go, the tour around the main house is interesting and if you decide to climb the walls there's some nice sights of the area around. We finished up this day heading back to the market area and had dinner including a matcha beer. I'm not really a massive matcha person but I was up for trying all the different things, the beer sort of just tasted of normal beer but it looked exactly like a matcha-green coloured guinness.
04/05 - Arishiyama ✨Greenery Day This wasn't really a packed day as we were heading to an airbnb for a couple of nights. We used the luggage forwarding from the ryokan where they were concerned that we wouldn't get our luggage as soon as we wanted due to Golden week. I then let them know we were looking to get it sent for the 6th and they completely relaxed and said that would be perfectly fine 👌 For context if you've not been to Kyoto, the train system is alright but pales compared to Tokyo. Getting to our airbnb wouldn't be too long, about an hour, but as we didn't really have anything planned and only had our small suitcase with us we decided to walk to the next airbnb instead and waste time along the way. This way when we arrived it wouldn't be before check in time and it would keep us out and about. The walk was about 3 hours total although we lengthed it by stopping a few times. There were some celebrations happening due to Greenery day and Children's day being the next day. We stopped to listen to some music, stopped to have a starbucks, then finally we reached out airbnb in Arishiyama. The place was really nice, and it was fun to have a whole place for a few nights instead of a hotel. If you're wanting to, looking at airbnb's is a completely valid option when staying in Japan - you just might get warned before you arrive not to talk or laugh too loudly or the neighbours might complain/call the police 😅
05/05 - Fushimi Inari Shrine ✨Children's Day Initially were going to do both the bamboo/monkey forest and Fushimi Inari but ended up leaving a little later than planned so just committed to only Fushimi Inari. I was expecting fairly large crowds considering the day and the station was..... not great. That said, the station was very small and so although it was crowded we were also out of there fairly quick. This review of Fushimi Inari is going to follow almost everyone's - it was busy at the bottom and as you go up you'll get a lot less people. Even it being Children's day didn't stop us getting moments of just myself and my partner being alone so don't be deterred if the bottom is busy! Beautiful views, we did the full routes going to the top. It was a bit tricky at times but it's not a race, and you'll feel good doing the full thing. We reached the top, were able to partake in the prayers there, then had a great time going back down. There was a little area near the end with a bunch of cats; we turned a corner and saw one and a bunch of people crowding round to take a photo. Maybe only a few steps later you realise there's about 4 more just chilling around the place. It was a cool experience and definitely worth doing at least once if you're there.

Osaka

06/05 - Local train, Dotenbori, Den-Den Town We took a train from our airbnb to Osaka and went via the local train rather than the shinkansen. It was fine, we reached Dotenbori and our hotel was not far from the station. We got there a bit early again but our room was already available and our luggage had arrived too (: After getting refreshed we went out for the afternoon to Den-Den Town. This is Osaka's version of Akihabara, and we spent a lot of time with my partner looking in all the card shops. It was pretty rainy but not really a problem between the Lawson's umbrella and ducking into lots of shops ;) We spent time in an arcade for a while before heading out to Dotenbori market area and the bridges for the evening/night. Yet again another location in the Yakuza games so I had fun pointing out different places like the Mega Don Quijote or the crab restaurant. We had some food and ended up in a drinking place that used a QR code and website for ordering to the table which was dangerously easy to use haha. Had some really tasty sushi there too, I'll try and find the name if anyone is wondering! Took tons of photos there, the rain at night gave the city that classic look reflecting the neon lights everywhere.
07/05 - Kobe day trip We went to Kobe for the day, lots of rain but the main market area is all under cover so that was handy. My partner was looking for a new phone which he found, we also went to one of those places where they grill the food in front of you for dinner. It was great going in a scruffy elevator up to the restaurant and stepping out onto a really beautifully designed restaurant, and it wasn't very busy so we were able to go without reserving beforehand. Kobe itself is cool although we didn't explore too much outside the market areas due to just how hard it was raining, I think it was the heaviest on this day unfortunately.
08/05 - Nara day trip, Todai-ji We went to Nara and although the advice is to go early, we went for more mid-day time. It wasn't crowded at all so that was fortunate. We ended up walking past that famous mochi stall that you see on all the tiktoks of Nara. I wasn't expecting to see the making of the mochi and wasn't going to wait for it either however they started about 2 minutes after we found the stall so we did stay and watch and it was cool to see in person (: We tried the mochi, it's pretty good although for me it was a bit too dry from the powder. Was still tasty!!! Walked through towards the deer park and saw the pagodas around. When we reached the deer park of course we had to get some crackers and feed them. Oh my god they're so pushy!! It was actually so funny to interact with them, one tried to nibble me and we got headbutted a bit when we had the crackers but once you've given them all out then they'll leave you 😆. We sat on a bench for a bit and watched some other poor souls go through the same thing. Saw quite a lot of young fawns too which is cute. We kept walking up to Todai-ji, stopped for an ice cream, then went to the temple to see the huge Buddha statue. It was a good experience to see this temple, but at least for me it wasn't my favourite part of the trip. I know for many others though it's really great to see so don't knock it off your list if you're interested in it! I'm glad I went once but probably won't return. Spent some more time just chilling around Nara and looking at the temples and shrines around the place. We went back to Osaka for around 4pm. Spent the evening in Osaka again, no rain this time! Oh this was about the time I was developing a sore throat, a little bit nerve wracking but fully vaccinated + boosters and have had covid previously so was fairly certain it wasn't that. Even so, my partner was coughing a bit which is the start of the cold we both had for the rest of the trip 😔
09/05 - Osaka Aquarium, Dotenbori I didn't put the aquarium on my plan initially but we had another spare day in Osaka and I do like visiting aquariums + my partner likes penguins a lot and they had a lot there. It was a cool experience, a lot of families as to be expected but it wasn't packed so lots of opportunities to see the animals and fish :) The two whales were very cool, they're so massive. We also got to see their rockhopper penguin conservation area, you could see them sitting on their eggs. I recommend the aquarium to any families planning to be in Osaka, it's pretty easy to get to and the station gives clear directions on where to go to get to the aquarium and the nearby lego park. After the aquarium we went back to Dotenbori and looked around the various book-offs as my partner was looking for screen protectors. If you're interested in any Japanese media I can recommend them too, I found some games in there that were a lot cheaper than you find in the West in much better condition. Our coughs worsened by evening which wasn't great, we weren't doing much more in super crowded areas but it's obviously not good anyway. We were wearing masks everywhere beforehand but it made it more important. We did end up getting some Bron, if you're in Japan and have a cough then I do recommend it but just be aware that it contains codeine. We got some from a place that specifically had a pharmacy section, you bring the box to the cashier and they'll give you the actual bottle from behind the counter. Really really great stuff, much better than anything you can get without a prescription in the UK which was annoying as my cough was subsequently worse for about 5 days once I got back!! It's pretty much gone now though (lasted longer likely due to asthma but it was gone for my partner after a couple days of being back). Overall I really enjoyed Osaka, all the cities we went to were cool but for me Osaka was my favourite :)

Tokyo

10/05 - Shinkansen, Airbnb We left Osaka for Tokyo and took the Shinkansen back. We did splash out a bit and took the green car with seats on the Fuji side. I fell asleep for most of the trip but woke in time to see Fuji for the roughly 6-7 minutes it was viewable for. It was my only time to see Fuji due to the weather being almost clear that day aside from a single cloud going right across the mountain. It didn't block the peak though so I don't feel too robbed 😆. If/when we visit Japan again I would like to see it again closer but it was still a great sight. Once we reached Shinagawa station, we switched to the local train to head to our airbnb in Shinjuku once again (although closer to Shibuya this time whereas we were more North before). We were staying in a pretty close knit residential area but did a bit of a hello to the neighbours which was nice. We had done the luggage forwarding again but had set it to come the next day so we would be the people available for receiving it. Spent the time around the airbnb and also tried having an uber eats delivered (which worked great lol).
11/05 - Shibuya, Shinjuku We spent most of this day around Shibuya as we wanted a few souvenirs for family and also hadn't visited Shibuya properly. Went to the crossing, then spent time mainly shopping and going around one of the Donkis. Pretty rainy again but not a problem for a shopping day.
12/05 - RX-7 Day Trip (Lake Hinuma, Ibaraki Flower Park), Kabukicho We used Omoshiro Rent-a-car for the RX-7 (for those interested, here's the car - https://i.imgur.com/HRX4DYy.png ) and they were great. We had it pre-booked again before we arrived in Japan as it's a pretty sought after car to rent. Bit banged up but nothing major, and we had it booked for I think 8 hours? We did return it a little early as we didn't really have anything else to do and didn't want to be late with a return as the shop closed at the time we'd be returning it. A funny part of the terms you agree to is no Initial D style driving. For the trip itself, we didn't have anything major planned so I made a makeshift plan to just go a bit out of Tokyo and visit somewhere different. I found this lake on maps that'd be not too far, didn't realise until we were there that it's less a lake for sights and more for fishing 😅. No worries though, as the main reason was to get some driving in and enjoy having the car (which was achieved!). Got some snacks from a 7/11 then went off. We had a lot of time left so we drove to Ibaraki flower park, yet another quick find from scrolling around Google Maps. It was a very beautiful park, they have a rose market there as well as selling some fresh produce. It's a small charge to go in the park but it's worth it for the hour or more you might spend there and will go towards the park maintenance. Also being the middle of Spring of course it's going to be beautiful with all the new blooms (: We spent time there admiring the countryside and being sad about going back home the next day. We went back to the rental place afterwards, also during this drive was the time where we were finding it so funny how we were sticking to the speed limits in this beautiful car and being overtaken by massive trucks going so much faster. We did have a moment that was like from a movie though, we entered the expressway after the tolls and as we were pulling in an older Honda NSX was being driven next to us. The guy driving looked over and gave us a nod with a straight face before pulling ahead a little so we could be behind him. We ruined that movie mood by both being so excited by how cool the moment was but hey it's one of those things that won't be forgotten at least!! He zoomed off a few minutes later but we weren't risking anything to keep pace ahaha. We returned the car then went back to Shinjuku for our final evening in Japan. We went back to Kabukicho and I was able to see the arch in red :') Took photos of the karaoke place that's in the games, would've gone in but my throat was killing!! So we just stuck to being outside. We went back to the area around our airbnb, had our last dinner there then went and packed up ready to go home.
13/05 - Home :') Our flight was leaving a little before 9am so we were leaving the airbnb for 5ish. Early start but as we'd gotten packed up it wasn't too bad of a walk to the station. Grabbed our train, it was fairly early on one of the lines that goes direct to the station so we were able to get on with ease. The train was rammed by the time we reached the station. No problems getting through the airport, got to our gate and then flew home.

Final Notes

I had such a good time in Japan, I loved being there and hope to return within the next few years if life permits!! We definitely missed some of those 'must-do's' such as Osaka Castle, any of the theme parks, Arishiyama Monkey Park, actually doing Karaoke, and some of the food options due to my own anxieties walking into places lol. That said, I don't regret the things we did end up doing and it just means I'll have to fit some of those into my next trip 😉. Although my partner would like to visit more Northern areas like Hokkaido or Sendai so we'll see!
We didn't have probably as much packed into each day as could've been but for me this was perfect and a great time for my first time. If you managed to read all this then thank you very much, and please let me know if you have any questions about the trip!! I'll be happy to answer. Thanks for reading!

Its roughtly 1am and I decided this would be a good thing to do at 1am. And of course at 1am I am thinking.. I want to hear some stories about peoples experiences as a player or as a DM.
So lets start an 'ask me anything post train'. Basically when you ask your first question in this post about someone elses experience you should do the following:

• Introduce yourself
• Include a bit of information about the characters you have made/played or the campaigns you have been in.
• And the line 'Ask me anything' or 'AMA'.

You only need to do this once. Then you can ask as many questions as you want.
And that way everyone can have some cool stories to read, fun ideas for characters or even campaigns.
So as the post creator I shall start:
A bit about me: Hello I am Sparkle and I am a professional DM who is trying to become a better DM than Matt Mercer (which is a really high benchmark, he's a really good DM). I like drawing art and making animated maps for D&D.
I am currently playing in six D&D campaigns a week. And I am dming 3 of them. The highest amount of players I have DMed for at once was around 15 and the longest I have dmed for at once is 11 hours.
These are the six campaigns I am in currently.
Astral Antics: As a DM (My fav campaign to DM) This campaign is a homebrew campaign which is focused on portals, gods and ancient magic (Blood magic, Ethereal Magic, and the Zenith) The whole group has custom classes and races which may be an interesting discussion for some. They are currently infiltrating the vampires kings, aka Venerzar Dunbars, castle (who happens to be one of the players father) and Ketsu has just discovered a card from the deck of many things. (Its not the first card to have been found)
Endless Vernandia and Endless Vernandia Tarvea: As a DM
This group is my largest group. Their campaign is split into two sections currently.
Endless Vernandia (EV) was based in a spirit world after the players died in their own worlds. They learnt to survive in the wilderness, build bases and just sorta mess around. The group has an interest in door hinges (don't get me started on this), one of the players was accidently turned into a lich (even I am not sure how this happened). We also had a merchant who stole everyones hearts, no wait that was Granny num nums... (My players never forgave me for killing her off). And eventually they got reincarnated into a new world. Oh and lets not forget this worlds gimmick of corruption.
EV Tarvea: The group now has new characters (reminiscent of the old) and spirit animals. (Bonus points if anyone can figure out the series this world is based off). The characters are busy solving mysteries whilst trying to avoid the corruption they have discovered is seaping into this world from Vernandia.
The Multitude of Magnus: As a DM This one on one campaign is set in a world where the player Magnus has been besett with a strange illness. He also happens to be a prince. Starting as a skeleton he wakes up finding the world no longer accepts him. He makes a tonne of friends as he time travels through the past versing an ancient black drahon called Neskur who keeps killing his family who he left behind. Eventually he manages to escape the time loop he is in and ends up in Magnus the 1sts body. He also discovers along the way a missing soul god and an enemy called Vane.
The Ruins of Senpitrial. As a player This campaign has been going on for quite a while now and its my favourite campaign as a player. In this campaign there is a lich called Ur Kad who is attempting to cause another ruining, there is also a god called the lord of blood who myself, Fane and Kat are aiming to kill. In this campaign I am playing a 'human' wizard detective called Liburua Batekin who fully believes he is a human. Except his disguise self spell is a bit weird, now that you mention it. He eventually meets a god called Grey Jacket (god of change) whos true name is unknown and eventually learns about his true nature. He is in fact a changling, who is honestly a bit weird for a changling as the only other two changlings he has met have mentioned it. Currently we are in the under dark trying to find Fanes family.
Chaos Corner: As a player. We have only just started yesterday and I am playing a very interesting character with super low stats. I cannot say more as I know some of the campaign members frequent reddit but I will happily tell anyone in direct messages about the character.
Generals Campaign: As a player General is a new DM and hes running a mostly combat campaign as we try to stop an evil king from bringing back a pretty evil god. I am playing a Revenant Asimar Mystic/Phoenix Sorcerer who died in one of the kings attacks on the town. Tempest one of the players in the party killed me as I killed him bring us both back as Revenents looking for revenge on each other. He is hiding his looks and eventually decided he wanted revenge on the king for sending him to his doom as I hunt him down. Except we are both immortal undead. Yea this is going to be a blast later on
Campaigns that have finished, so I am no longer in them.
Not all campaigns go well, and thats ok. Here are two that didnt work.
(Fake name) Jhins campaign: We were playing a group looking for some magic items. Jhin despite being a very new dm is very good at characters... At combat not so much. The main reason the campaign failed was due to restricting player abilities and just sort of giving up. The group was VERY chaotic and I mean very. In this campaign I played a Raven and a Kalashtar called Harbringer and Watcher. Their classes were rogue/Raven Queen Warlock. Basically Watcher is super nice, Harbringer is evil. Watcher shows himself to the party and Harbringer never really does. These two have a tonne of lore and are pretty fun to play.
After Jhin gave up I tried taking the group on. Yea even I failed. Basically the new game was about two dimensions, one called the mirror world where players played characters the other players designed (they didnt know their stats) and then you had the material where it was normal dnd. Anyway there were wizards on dragons and the group didnt get anywhere through the story anywhere fast. They spent a session talking about things outside of the game (they were all friends) and after a few more sessions after a talk to see if they would improve I dropped the campaign.
However we have some that did work, except people got too busy.
The Chaos Crew as a DM This campaign lasted ages and its the campaign that truely got me into dming. One day my friends told me when we were playing another game that they were trying to learn how to play dnd but didnt know where to start. Nobody had played before. I said I could try dming for them. They agreed and we promptly began a campaign. The campaign was a time travel campaign where the party slowly ran out of time to stop neskur from taking over their minds. And yes this is the origin of the infamous villian Neskur. And Senshin his nice brother. The group had a lot of fun as they stole a hippogriff egg, Yasuo killed the entire party in an epic betrayal (pvp was commonplace, fun and normal). Tbanger died 7x, sometimes on purpose, other times not so much. P.S: you still hold the record. The players also came up with the pelvis ghost..... Trust me you do not want to steal any pelvises in my games, it never ends up well. And the players drew the fates card and got revenge on Yasuo. Then we had exams and never played another game together. Currently I might be trying to gather them up for a reunion.
And last but not least... The original campaign. Based on the Taldora books (the one with the belt and 7 gems), we had a game where the terrifie were first introduced. A player died in session one after jumping purposely off a 30ft tall wall and getting poked with a stick. We had a sword incident where it glanced off a wall and impaled a dwarf (who rolled a nat 1) and an epic battle over a river. Five or so sessions in we had scheduling issues and didnt play again. However one of the three from the campaign later joined Astral Antics and Endless Vernandia. I kind of got them addicted to D&D... they thanked me for it lol.
And anyway that is it in terms of my campaigns. So......
AMA: Ask me anything, even specific questions like why my players are scared of birds or even about bagpipes. I will attempt to answer them all. Though I would love to see some questions that may led to some interesting tales. Go wild.
DMs I am happy to share any of my resources I have created for my campaigns if anyone wants them.