18 days past ovulation no period

Gentlemanboners but now in gif form!

2012.11.01 16:32 JMaboard Gentlemanboners but now in gif form!

Gentleman Boners Gifs is a true gentleman's club. This is an oasis like no other! Only the finest eye candy of the classiest nature can be found here. Elegant, graceful, timeless female celebrities are one click away. Be gone with you and your slutty, trashy, & whorish succubi! For they are not welcome here. Do not bother posting if you can not tell the difference between beauty and seduction. This club is for the best of the best.

2011.05.25 04:04 Avalon81204 Taking the journey to parenthood together.

This group is for anyone trying for a baby! Come discuss fertility, sex, conception, and learn all about how your body works!

2017.10.30 12:19 eksyneet insaneparents

/insaneparents is a weird place where you can post those crazy parents who post in those woo-woo anti-vax groups on facebook and do things harmful (directly and indirectly) to their children. Things posted here do not have to be physically abusive. Abusive and insane are not mutually exclusive. The Anti-Vax mom you know isn't legally abusive, but you know she's insane for not vaxxing her kid.

2023.06.05 08:29 IneverGiveUp01 A Fresh Perspective: Could Rational Recovery be Your Turning Point?

Hello everyone,

Imagine being trapped in a destructive cycle for eight long years, knowing you need to escape but feeling utterly powerless to do so. That was my reality. I'm a 26-year-old man who, from the tender age of 12, found himself caught in the relentless grip of pornography and masturbation addiction.

By 18, I was painfully aware of the damage it was causing and desperate to break free. I tried everything – NoFap, meditation, sports, cold showers, even punishing myself, but to no avail. It felt like my addiction was an unshakeable opponent. But then, something changed. I discovered a strategy that changed my life. If you're struggling, I want to share this with you...

Caught in the grip of this addiction, I would spend an average of seven hours per day, even peaking at thirteen hours sometimes. The toll of this habit was heavy, affecting my personal, professional, and social life severely. Yet everything changed when I discovered Jack Trimpey's Rational Recovery method.

While his book provided me with crucial insights, it was his comprehensive AVRT Demonstration, where Trimpey guided an alcohol addict towards permanent abstinence, that truly filled the missing pieces in my fight against addiction. The Rational Recovery method fundamentally shifted my perspective towards addiction, helping me to recognize and silence the voice of my brain (the Beast) pushing me to consume. Today, I want to share my experience, hoping it could be an effective solution for many of you. You can access the entire demonstration at the end in the 'Useful Resources' section.

Understanding Addiction and Navigating this Guide

Let's talk about what addiction really is. Addiction isn't about the behavior itself, but rather the desire to escape pain and seek a better life. It is marked by ambivalence, a feeling of being torn between two minds. Overcoming addiction involves breaking free from the grip of pleasure and reclaiming control over oneself.

Before I delve into how I applied the Rational Recovery method and the results I got, I want to pose a simple but powerful question: If I placed a big red button in front of you that, when pressed, would instantly eradicate your addiction, would you press it?

If your answer is 'yes', then you have all the reasons you need to quit. I've been where you are now, writing pages upon pages of reasons to stop, yet relapsing despite knowing how harmful it was. It's important to recognize when a pattern becomes harmful, it's time to stop.

As you explore this guide, remember the importance of keeping an open mind. Let's borrow some wisdom from Mark Twain, who once said, “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” It's a nod to the importance of being receptive to new ideas and methods. This guide may offer a different approach, but embracing it might bring about the change you're seeking.

What is AVRT?

AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) is a transformative strategy that I've found invaluable in my journey to overcoming addiction. This technique helps you recognize and differentiate yourself from the 'addictive voice', the part of your primitive brain structure that fuels your addiction.

Think of AVRT as your personal defense mechanism that works under any circumstance, regardless of your emotional state – be it sadness, anger,boredom, loneliness, or stress. The aim here isn't to suppress these emotions, but rather to stay in control of your actions, no matter what you're feeling.

The 'addictive voice' – which we'll call the 'beast' – is a sneaky internal saboteur. It's the part of you that wants to continue with the harmful habit, despite you consciously knowing it's not beneficial. AVRT is about learning to separate this beast from your own true will, thus empowering you to reclaim your life.

The power of AVRT lies in this distinction between you and the beast. Once you master this technique, you'll learn to reject the rationalizations and temptations that originate from the beast. The dissociation from the beast is what makes it possible to make a firm, irrevocable commitment to quit your addiction. By not identifying with the beast, you can prevent yourself from suffering commonly associated with resisting addiction.

In essence, AVRT isn't about fighting or resisting; it's about recognizing, dissociating, and reclaiming control of your life.

What is the "beast"?

The "beast" is a term coined by the Rational Recovery method to denote the part of your brain pushing you towards your addiction. We call it the Beast because, like a wild, uncontrollable animal, it cares about nothing but fulfilling its need. It is a cunning inner voice, whispering that you need to engage in porn and masturbation to feel satisfied, relieved, or happy. This voice, often referred to as the Addictive Voice (AV), can be quite deceptive. It might paint you a picture of an enticing scene, produce alluring sounds, offer a moment of relief, or even present a false promise of control—"Just be more careful next time."

This beast manipulates you with excuses, deceptive emotions, and outright lies to make you succumb to your addiction. But let's make one thing clear: the beast is not your friend. It's your worst enemy. It's a parasitic entity that has latched onto your life, thriving on your addictive behavior. Like every living thing, it fears its end, and that end comes when you stop feeding the addiction. It has no regard for your well-being, your relationships, your life goals, or your health. Only its survival matters.

As you read through this guide, it's crucial to remain aware of the Beast's interference. Remember, the Beast manifests as a voice in your head or as an emotion, pushing you towards addictive thoughts and actions. You might experience feelings of resistance, discomfort, anger, fear, anxiety, or even a cringe reaction. These are the Beast's attempts to disrupt your progress.

While the Beast can attempt to manipulate your thoughts and emotions, it does not and cannot control your actions. It's your survival instincts that the Beast taps into, but your ability to make decisions, to govern your actions, thoughts, and emotions is uniquely yours.

The Beast may present itself in thoughts like, "This is too difficult to understand," "This won't work for me," or "I'm an exception to this method." Understand that these thoughts are not your own, but the Beast's desperate attempts to maintain control.

In its relentless quest for satisfaction, the beast views everything, including you, as expendable. It's the embodiment of your addiction, caring for nothing but its next fix. It's deaf to reason, blind to consequences, and immune to remorse.

If this description resonates with you, don't panic. You're not 'sick.' It's merely an error of association made by your body - an error in the script, so to speak. It mistakenly believes that this addictive behavior is as vital for your survival as breathing or eating.

Take these moments of resistance as signs that you are on the right track. You're threatening the Beast's existence, and it's trying to fight back. Recognize these voices for what they are, continue moving forward, and know that each step brings you closer to reaffirming your control and freedom from addiction.

[How to Proceed]

Recognition Technique

Let me share an effective exercise, adapted from the Rational Recovery book, that could help you end your porn and masturbation addiction right now.

Start by observing your thoughts and feelings about watching porn or masturbating, both positive and negative. The thoughts and feelings that encourage continued use represent your Addictive Voice (AV), while those advocating for abstinence represent the real you.

When you learn to identify and understand your AV, it becomes an easily defeated foe causing you to indulge. All it craves is pleasure. The main tactic of the Beast is to seize control of the pronoun 'I'. It will try to convince you by saying things like "I want to watch porn" or "I need pornography ".

However, you can effectively counter this strategy. By simply adding a 't' and shifting the 'I' to 'It', you can remind yourself that these thoughts are not truly yours, but are the Beast's manipulations. So the sentences become, "It wants to watch porn" or "It needs pornography ".

By changing "I" to "It", you dissociate from the discomfort or distress. Yes, it's that simple, placing it squarely on the Beast instead of yourself. It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are the Beast's attempts to coerce you back into addiction.

Now, tell yourself, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again", and listen for any negative reactions – this is your AV responding. Conversely, if you think, "I will consume porn or masturbate whenever I please," any pleasant feelings that arise are also your AV asserting control.

This recognition technique dispels short-term desire, making abstinence effortless. Complete separation of 'you' from 'it' results in complete recovery and hope for a better life.

Picture the AVRT technique as a form of gardening. The Addictive Voice is the weed trying to overtake your garden and sapping nutrients from the other plants. Recognizing the weed for what it is and uprooting it preserves your garden's health. Similarly, identifying and acting against your Addictive Voice safeguards a healthy and fulfilling life free from addiction.

Shifting Technique

Shifting is another powerful technique to help you dissociate from the beast of addiction. The idea is to alternate between viewing your addiction from the perspective of the beast and your own.

When viewing addiction through the Beast's eyes, you visualize what it craves the most about the addictive behavior and imagine the associated pleasure for a few minutes. It will express sentiments like "I want this now!" or "Please give it to me!", and you may start to feel the beast getting excited, happy, or impatient.

Then, shift to your perspective and reflect on the pain and negative impact the addiction has on you and those around you. Allow yourself feelings of disgust. Let your own feelings now take over, and you will find that your Beast withdraws and you feel either neutral or put off. This back-and-forth process allows you to dissociate from the Beast.

Think of Shifting as toggling between two TV channels: one projects a seductive yet distorted image of addiction, while the other reveals the harsh reality of its damage.

Introducing the "Big Plan"

The idea of the Big Plan in Rational Recovery is to make a personal commitment to lifelong abstinence from addiction. This commitment, for me, took the form of the decisive statement, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again". It involves pinpointing a day and an hour for your turning point. For me, that was a Sunday at 12am. This moment represents a clear and definitive end to your addictive behavior and the start of a new chapter in your life. You can decide to commit either immediately after going through this post or by specifying your day and hour. It's entirely your choice, and we'll discuss this in more depth later.

Your Power Over the Beast

The Beast, despite its intimidating name, is in fact harmless. It may try to coerce, manipulate, and instill fear, but it is important to remember that it is powerless without your consent. It cannot force you to return to the addictive behavior; only you can make that decision. In fact, you are the main authority, the one in charge, and it's the Beast that fears you.

The Beast is aware of your power and control, and it's terrified of it. It knows that you can shatter its illusions in a snap, without any difficulty. You're the one who makes the call, not the Beast, and it fears your unyielding decision to quit the addiction forever.

Its tactics may often involve fear. It's like the Beast is pointing a gun at you, but the truth is, its gun is empty. It's just a bluff, an illusion. You know it, and the Beast knows it too. It's simply trying to maintain its influence by resorting to fear tactics, but you can see through its lies.

"Don't trust yourself in tempting situations...you're not strong enough yet." – The Beast's voice:

The Beast tries to maintain control by suggesting certain places, events, or people will trigger a relapse. You might hear it whisper, "You can't go to that event, you might relapse," or "Avoid that location, it's too risky." This is simply the Beast's tactic to keep a hold on you, aiming to make you believe you're not completely in control.

By simply recognizing it for what it is - a tactic of the Beast to undermine your confidence - you can dismiss these fear tactics and reaffirm your control.

What if I Lose Control?

The Beast within you is a cunning entity, ever ready to exploit your moments of doubt and vulnerability. It whispers falsehoods, instilling fear and shaking your confidence. But don't be swayed, for you have always held the reins. The Beast may inhabit a corner of your mind, but it lacks the power to control your actions.

Not convinced? Try this: Extend your finger in front of your eyes and move it, then ask the Beast to do the same. The Beast can't because it doesn't hold sway over your physical actions.

The truth is, you've never truly "failed" in your endeavor against addiction. You've always had the choice, and sometimes you've elected to surrender to the Beast's desires. But that doesn't equate to losing control. It merely shows you gave in, momentarily, to the Beast's whisperings.


Recovery from addiction isn't about becoming a superhero or uncovering the universe's hidden secrets. It's about realizing that we don't have control over every aspect of life. However, we do have control over our actions, our reactions, and how we choose to face life's unpredictable events.

Do you choose the path of self-discovery and freedom from addiction? Or do you prefer to remain confined by the restrictions that addiction imposes? Be cautious: the Beast may distort your perspective, asking, "Where are the benefits?" or suggesting, "You haven't gained anything," and even instigating impatience by incessantly asking, "How long until I see the benefits?"

But don't fall prey to these distortions. Escaping addiction isn't about immediate gain or fixing all your life's problems. Recovery isn't a magic solution; it's a step towards personal empowerment. It's about gaining freedom and unlocking your potential, not just as a person in recovery, but as an individual capable of resilience and authenticity.

Concentrate on the liberation that breaking free from addiction brings. Let's choose this path towards a life where addiction no longer controls us, allowing us to genuinely live and experience life to its fullest.

Understanding the Real Reason You're Engaging in This

Engaging in this addiction is solely for pleasure and nothing more. Every other justification is a fabrication of the Beast. It's designed to make you believe that giving in to your addiction is the only route to happiness or relief when you're feeling depressed, bored, lonely, stressed, or miserable.

Speaking from personal experience, I used to think that I turned to pornography and masturbation because I was lonely, stressed, or had a rough day. I thought that because I spent my entire day working alone on a computer, my environment or lifestyle was to blame for my addiction. These were excuses, a way to avoid taking responsibility for my actions, guided by the Beast's narrative.

The key to recognizing the Beast is noticing that the conversation always bends towards indulgence in your addiction.

Imagine you're having a tough day, and you begin to feel down. Instead of recognizing this as a passing mood, the Beast seizes this opportunity. It will amplify your negative emotions by saying things like, "You're always unhappy, aren't you? You know what would make you feel better... just one quick session won't hurt." Or, "You're so lonely, this is unbearable. Just indulge, it's your only comfort." These harsh whispers are the Beast's attempts to deepen your feeling of depression and nudge you towards the addictive behavior. Depression doesn't create addiction; addiction does.

The Beast's goal? To make you feel so low that resorting to your addiction seems like the only way out. Conversely, when you're content and joyful, the Beast will persuade you to give in, arguing it will amplify your satisfaction. Just think about it. If you're living what you perceive as a perfect life, the Beast will still argue you could feel even better with pornography and masturbation. It's a never-ending, destructive cycle.

Understanding and Separating Desire

Desire, in its essence, is not a negative emotion; it's a natural human condition. It propels us toward achievement, drives creativity, and gives meaning to our experiences. It also plays a crucial role in our relationships and our sexuality. The key in overcoming addiction is not to extinguish desire altogether, but to discern between healthy desires and those manipulated by the Beast.

Imagine your desires as a beautiful, roaring river. It's full of life, movement, and potential. This river represents your natural, healthy desires - things like connecting with others, pursuing your hobbies, personal growth, and even your sexual desires. These are your desires, part of who you are.

Then, there's the Beast's desire - a poisonous stream trying to merge into your river, attempting to hijack your natural flow. This stream carries the pull of addiction, steering you away from your authentic path, manipulating your thoughts, and distorting your perceptions.

Recognize this poisonous stream and refuse to let it merge with your river. This is not about damming the entire river or stifling your desires, but about rejecting the poisonous stream that the Beast introduces. It's about retaining your authentic desires and letting them guide you.

Identify that any thought associated with the desire to indulge in the addiction is coming from the Beast. By doing so, you begin to differentiate between what you truly want and what the Beast wants. This understanding will empower you, helping you keep your river clean, vibrant, and true to its course.

In the whirlwind of addiction, it can be easy to confuse the Beast's desires with our own. I, too, was lost in this confusion. I believed I was drawn to endless layers of perversion, thinking that I was attracted to the limitless exploration of perversion. But deep down, this wasn't me, it was the Beast's influence, its relentless push for more and more. Upon reflection, I realized my true desire was much simpler and profoundly more meaningful: to love and be loved. To have a wife, to raise children together, to share in the mundane and the magical moments of life. That's my authentic desire, not the empty promises of temporary pleasure the Beast kept pushing. This profound clarity is a stark contrast to the Beast's corruption, a beacon that can guide you back to your true self.

The goal is not to eliminate desire, but to reclaim it, to keep it authentic and personal. Desire is a part of your humanity; it's the Beast's manipulation of it that leads to addiction.

The Myth of Relapse and the Power of Perfection.

The Beast might sometimes whisper, "It's okay to relapse. You'll do better next time." This is a shrewd strategy designed to maintain its hold on you by normalizing relapse as a part of the recovery journey. It uses these tactics to sow seeds of doubt in your mind, aiming to eventually lead you to relapse. Rational Recovery, however, views this differently: the key is making a definitive decision—your Big Plan—to abstain from the addictive behavior and sticking to it under any circumstances.

Human beings are perfectly capable of achieving perfection in certain aspects of life. Consider the professional athlete who plays a perfect game or the musician who delivers a flawless performance. They do so by making a firm commitment to their goal and adhering to it diligently, without allowing any room for mistakes.

Similarly, your recovery journey can be perfect too. Once you make your Big Plan to abstain from addictive behavior, you can stick to it perfectly, without any relapses. This is the ideal that Rational Recovery promotes—not "try, fail, and try again," but "decide and stick to your decision perfectly."

Your Beast wants you to believe that perfection is unachievable, as this gives it room to persuade you to relapse. But don't let it fool you. You have the power to make a perfect decision and stick to it.

What if it's too Difficult or Painful?

Instead of pondering over this, consider a different question: 'For whom is it too painful or difficult?' Any discomfort or difficulty associated with ceasing the addiction stems from the Beast, not you. Observing the Beast's distress is a positive sign - it shows you're successfully dissociating from it.

Remember that humans can only fully experience one feeling at a time. When you start feeling discomfort from abstaining, it's crucial to recognize that this isn't your discomfort. It's the Beast that suffering. The Beast is protesting because it's not getting what it wants. This suffering isn't negative for you; in fact, it's a positive sign. It means you're successfully asserting control over your decisions, as the Beast's discomfort indicates that it's losing its influence over you.

Most importantly, remember: you are safe. You risk nothing by quitting this addiction. Every feeling of discomfort or fear is from the Beast, not you. Your well-being and safety are never in jeopardy by choosing to stop. By rejecting the Beast's influence and asserting your control, you reclaim your freedom from addiction.

How would I know what I will do in the future?

While predicting your future actions may be impossible, you can certainly define what you would never do. Consider the activities that you find disturbing, unhealthy, and reprehensible - those that you would never engage in.

Now, add porn and masturbation addiction to that list. As you do this, pay attention to your Beast. It might try to concoct far-fetched scenarios that seem to justify succumbing to the addiction. Recognize these for what they are: desperate attempts by the Beast to manipulate your thoughts. By doing so, you can effectively disregard its interference and remain true to your values.

I'm scared to relapse, what should I do?

Relapse anxiety is a common pitfall many encounter on their NoFap journey. You may be confidently progressing, then suddenly a thought creeps in: "What if I relapse tomorrow?" This thought triggers anxiety, shaking your belief in your commitment.

From the Rational Recovery standpoint, relapse anxiety is the Beast's deceptive voice trying to manipulate you. It incites fear and uncertainty, making you feel as if relapse is imminent. The Beast attempts to shake your confidence and sense of control. But here's the truth: relapse anxiety is an illusion, a tactic used by the Beast to tighten its grip.

Combat this by distancing yourself from the Beast and recognizing that relapse anxiety is a deceptive tactic used by the Beast to instill fear and weaken your resolve. Remember, you risk nothing by quitting this addiction; you are safe. Any discomfort you experience stems from the Beast, not you.

Reiterate your Big Plan: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." By affirming your decision and distancing yourself from the Beast's influence, you can dispel the anxiety and stay firmly on your path. Remember, you are in control, and you will always stay in control, the fears conjured by the Beast hold no sway over you.

The Beast's Attack on the Dreamscape

The Beast's intrusion into your dreams should not be a source of fear. This isn't a situation that requires extensive concern, this is just a sign of the Beast's distress.

There are generally two types of dreams where the Beast tries to assert its influence. The first type are explicit sex dreams, designed to reignite the desires and cravings associated with your addiction. The second type are dreams where you see yourself relapsing, which can be distressing and seem all too real.

When your neocortex (the real you) goes to sleep, the Beast sees an opportunity to attack and tries to regain influence over you through these dreams. This is evidence that you are on the right track. Your progress towards your goal of freedom from addiction is causing this panicked response from the Beast.

Remember, no matter what happens in your dreams, you are in control in reality. These dreams are just dreams, and they do not have the power to make you do anything.

Understanding 'Blue Balls' and Nocturnal Emissions in Recovery

Experiencing discomfort or an aching in the testicles, often referred to as 'blue balls,' is something that some individuals might encounter during their decision to quit their porn and masturbation addiction. Similarly, you may also experience nocturnal emissions or 'wet dreams' during your journey to recovery.

These phenomena aren't signs of harm, danger, or relapse, but rather physical manifestations of your body adjusting to your firm decision to quit the addiction.

While your body is adapting to a new, healthier state, not reliant on constant sexual stimulation, the Beast might attempt to distort these occurrences into negative experiences. It might tell you that nocturnal emissions are relapses, causing unwarranted fear and anxiety. But remember, you're in control.

Consider these sensations and events as physical signs of your transformation, a testament to the changes happening within you. It's important to remember that not everyone experiences this, and even if you do, it's not something to be overly concerned about. These adjustments are something you are more than capable of handling. As your body adjusts to your new lifestyle, such events will likely decrease and eventually stop. Don't let the Beast use these natural bodily responses as a scare tactic.

Gradual Reduction: A Beast's Strategy

In your journey of breaking free from addiction, you might be tempted to adopt a "gradual reduction" approach - cutting back little by little rather than quitting outright. This strategy, while seemingly logical, is often a ploy from the Beast, setting you up for failure.

During my own journey, for many months, I was enticed by the concept of gradually reducing my addictive behaviors. The approach felt less abrupt, seemingly offering a smoother transition. Even the Beast within me suggested compromises such as, "Let's start by indulging only in the afternoon," or "How about we limit it to weekends?".However, I discovered through experience that this gradual reduction strategy often creates more problems than it resolves. Let me tell you why.

Firstly, by not making a clean break, you're continually feeding the addiction, keeping the Beast alive and active. It's akin to trying to put out a fire while still pouring small amounts of gasoline on it - it keeps the flames going, never fully extinguishing the fire.

Secondly, when you set specific times or days for indulging, you're not freeing your mind from the addiction; instead, you're refocusing it. You find yourself constantly counting down the hours or days until your next 'allowed' session. This fixation lead to a persistent preoccupation with the addiction, turning the process into something torturous and counterproductive.

Lastly, even on the days where you've decided not to indulge, the Beast is still at work. It doesn't take breaks. It try to convince you to deviate from your plan, asserting things like, "You're going to do it in a couple of days anyway, so why not just do it today? Why wait?" This becomes a recurring battle with the Beast, undermining your resolve.

The gradual reduction method keeps the addiction in focus, maintains the Beast's influence, and undermines your resolve. It's far more effective to make a clean break and assert your decision to quit outright. Remember, you're not losing anything by quitting - you're freeing yourself from the Beast's control.

Counting Days

Why should you spend energy on counting days for an activity you've resolved never to engage in? The Beast excels at setting goals and then weaponizing them against us.

Here's how the Beast use day counting against you:

Making a big deal of milestones: The Beast lead you to focus excessively on reaching a certain number of days, weeks, or months. While milestones can be motivational, the Beast use them to create unnecessary stress and pressure, saying things like "What if you don't make it?" or "Imagine how bad it would feel to start over."

Justifying a lapse: "You've made it 100 days, you deserve a reward!" or "One slip after so many days won't hurt." The Beast use the number of days as an excuse to suggest that it would be "safe" or "earned" to indulge in the addictive behavior.

Creating a false sense of security: The Beast suggest that after a certain number of days without indulging in the addiction, you're "cured" and could safely return to the behavior without becoming addicted again.

Undermining early progress: In the initial stages, the Beast belittle the small number of days you've been free from the addiction, making statements like "You've only managed two days, you'll never make it a week."

Leveraging bad days: If you're having a tough day, the Beast say, "You're miserable even after 30 days clean. See, quitting doesn't make things better. Might as well go back."

Remember, these are all tricks of the Beast trying to manipulate you into returning to the addictive behavior. The Beast will use anything, including the count of days, to try to get what it wants. The best way to deal with this is to remain steadfast in your decision and continue dissociating from the Beast.

So, instead of getting trapped in the Beast's game of counting days, surrender this act to it. We can concentrate on the broader scope - liberating ourselves from the Beast's clutches, embracing enduring change, and regaining our freedom. Day counting becomes insignificant because it no longer illustrates our path. Our chosen journey is one where the Beast's urges hold no power, and our authentic liberation takes the limelight. Let the Beast obsess over counting days, while we commit to a life of emancipation and self-discovery.

Why Punishment Doesn't Work

Self-punishment is a common response to addiction, yet it often proves ineffective. This can take many forms, from physical discomfort to emotional torment. In my own battle against addiction, I tried various self-punishment strategies. On the physical side, I would resort to self-harm. Emotionally, I burdened myself with negative self-talk, depression, feelings of hopelessness, anger, sadness, and even thoughts of death. It's important to note, however, that these intense feelings of guilt and self-condemnation were amplified by the Beast. The Beast utilizes such negative emotions to paint addiction as the only respite, the only 'good thing' left in life. It is a manipulative trick to keep you chained to the addiction.

Yet, over time, these painful memories have faded, while the seductive pull of the addictive behavior has remained vivid in my mind. It's a compelling illustration of the human condition: we often forget pain and remember pleasure.

Consider individuals who struggle with drug addiction. They might end up in a hospital after an overdose, experiencing immense physical pain. But as time passes, the memory of this pain dissipates, while the allure of the drug, the pleasure it brought, remains clear and tempting. This imbalance often leads them back into the cycle of addiction.

This became evident to me during the last week leading up to my final decision to quit - my Big Plan. It was the most challenging week of my life; I was counting the days until my liberation. Now that I'm free, when I think back to that week, the Beast tries to rewrite the narrative, calling it the "best week of all time!"

This disparity between the memory of pain and pleasure underscores why self-punishment is an ineffective strategy for long-term addiction recovery. Rational Recovery offers a different approach. Rather than relying on the fleeting memory of pain, it focuses on recognizing and dissociating from the addictive voice—the Beast.

Arguing with the beast

Let's clarify something: arguing with the Beast is futile. The Beast is single-minded, craving only the satisfaction of its addiction. Moreover, it's cunning, capable of playing both sides of an argument.

For instance, the Beast might implant thoughts such as, "You could indulge now, it's not a big deal." Then, to create confusion and feign agreement, it might echo that very idea, saying, "Yes, I could indulge now." It's essential to recognize that both these sentiments are from the Beast. It is a clear demonstration of how it can promote the idea of indulgence while also pretending to be 'you' to create an illusion of consent.

In the Rational Recovery technique, every thought or feeling associated with the indulgence in the addiction is identified as coming from the Beast, including its attempts to take possession of the pronoun "I".

You are the decision-maker here, you are in control. Your will is what truly matters, and the Beast must inevitably conform to your decisions.

Dealing with White-Knuckling and Intense Urges

Feeling urges, cravings, or hunger sensations is a natural part of the recovery journey. In fact, it's a positive sign, an indication that you are making progress. However, these feelings can turn into white-knuckling when you identify with the Beast's thoughts and feelings. When you start saying things like "I'm so horny" or "I need a relief ASAP," you're identifying with the beast voice. When you find yourself arguing with the Beast or doubting your decision to quit, you're in the grip of white-knuckling.

In my own journey to recovery, I experienced these urges, cravings, and sensations. But rather than identifying with them and turning them into a struggle, I recognized them as signs of the Beast's distress, not mine. It was the Beast who was desperate and frustrated, not me. This recognition made these moments not just bearable but even satisfying, as they signaled that I was on the right track in my recovery.

The power of these urges and cravings diminished with my Big Plan, my absolute decision to never indulge in the addictive behavior again. Even if you find yourself in a white-knuckling situation, remember that you can shift your perspective. Recognize that every thought encouraging the addictive behavior is coming from the Beast, and use the Recognition or Shifting techniques to help you dissociate from these thoughts and feelings. After that, reaffirm your Big Plan, stating firmly and clearly, "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This firm commitment to your Big Plan will dispel all doubt, releasing you from the grip of white-knuckling.

The Big Plan: Your Commitment to Freedom

Taking a firm decision is a critical step in overcoming addiction, and this is what making a Big Plan entails. This plan is a complete commitment, devoid of room for negotiation or compromise. When you formulate a Big Plan, you're making a promise to yourself to never indulge in your addiction again, under any circumstances.

Choosing a specific day for your Big Plan can help add a sense of occasion and finality to your decision. For instance, I personally chose a Sunday at 12am. Your Beast will likely agree to this arrangement, looking forward to a "last hurrah."

But as you approach your chosen day to initiate your Big Plan, the Beast may start getting anxious. It may whisper, "I can't let this go!" or "Let's postpone the Big Plan, and enjoy this for now!" This is not your voice. It's the voice of the Beast, trying to make you delay your decision and panicking at the impending loss of its control.

Your declaration for the Big Plan could be: "I will never consume porn or masturbate again." This phrase embodies the essence of the Big Plan — a firm, unyielding decision that signifies your commitment to stay addiction-free.

In your journey to overcome addiction, the video I am about to share will be invaluable. It features Jack Trimpey, the founder of Rational Recovery, directly guiding you through the process of making a Big Plan. Although Trimpey focuses on alcohol and drug addiction in the video, his guidance applies to any addiction, including pornography and masturbation. Carefully absorb his words, understanding their relevance to your personal struggle.

watch this video, skip to 33:39 for the Big Plan section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2YH8RLd_4&list=PLazOJVze5_z3BdcDSF3uPtN8Vu9VDqVJl&index=3where


I've spent a month compiling my experiences and sharing the tools that aided me on my journey. You are free to ask questions while I'm around, but please note that I'm not a regular Reddit user and won't be able to answer indefinitely. For those interested in Rational Recovery, all the information you need is in the "Useful Resources" section. If you found this post helpful, please consider upvoting or sharing it with friends who might benefit from it. Always remember to dissociate from the Beast and stand firm in your Big Plan. Holding unwavering trust in your decision is the key to defeating the Beast. May you embrace your journey to freedom and experience the liberation you've been longing for. Thank you for taking the time to read my post.

Useful Resources

Rational Recovery Book : https://www.amazon.fRational-Recovery-Cure-Substance-Addiction/dp/0671528580/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=rational+recovery&sr=8-1
AVRT Demonstration (AVRT Live Vol 1-5) : https://www.youtube.com/@DeborahSpringborn/videos
submitted by IneverGiveUp01 to pornfree [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:28 ThugaliciousPete Help? My friends been "followed"

I have a friend I've known since I was 3, we'll call him M. M's father had an interest in ouija boards and the such, always claiming their old home was Haunted. Many others I've met have claimed to have witnessed strange events on their property as well.
When M was 12-13 he went with his father to put some tables in storage when his father dropped a table and started having a conversation with someone in the corner of their Barn. As M approached he noticed a tall man standing in the corner wearing what he describes as a suit jacket that goes below his knees, he oddly couldn't make out the man's face. He heard his father say " no, you can't have him. He's my son" "he's too young. Leave him alone."
After hearing this he said his eyes lost track of the man and his father brushed it off, acting like it never happened. Well M's father died when M was 14-15. M didn't think of this event for a couple of years, thinking the whole thing was a figment of his imagination.
On M's 18 birthday he said he noticed a man dressed in the same attire but could not make out his face. Since then he's seen this man on numerous occasions but can never make out his face, he says it's always too far, blurred, or he's gone when he tries to look at the face. M is 20 now and claims to see the man at the worst of times, he claims when he sees him it kills his desire to do anything that day as it always turns out bad.
I've no clue what to think of this, M has the worst luck often being the sole victim of any situation His cars always break down, for no reason only to act fine when I look at them, he often loses sentimental items of his father's, etc
Both of us believe in the Paranormal and this Man he sees out of the corner of his eye, or on the side of the road is about to drive him crazy. I'm open to any suggestions, and hope to hear something.
submitted by ThugaliciousPete to Paranormal [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:26 FreedomToSee pain after dilating

For context, while I’m not diagnosed with vaginismus, I’m not able to do piv, and it’s pretty clear to me that i’ll have to use dilators if i ever want to have penetrative sex. Whatever I have I would say it’s mild compared to the more serious cases on here, and I’ve been able to insert the last size after a month. It’s still very painful to do that but it goes away after a few minutes and then I can continue. Since I’ve been using about the last two sizes I’ve been experiencing like itchy pain inside my cooch for like a day or two afterwards?? I don’t think it’s a yeast infection or anything bc it goes away after that (and is only caused by dilating)- so is it possible that using sizes that large is like tearing up smth down there? I also wash out the inside of my vagina with water after dilating bc I’m cautious about messing up my pH or getting an infection- and this past time I noticed the tiniest bit of blood come out (i’m no where near my period). Anyways does anyone know what this is? Is this normal, or do you know how to deal with/stop this? Thanks
submitted by FreedomToSee to vaginismus [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:26 Fearadhach [OC] Turning on the Oven (PRVerse 24.6)

Prev wiki
Eldia sat in the reporter’s booth of the Council, behind a window, with the journalists from several species. All of them sat and talked, but somewhat pointedly avoided speaking to – or even looking at – her. A few had tried, indelicately, to pump her for information and she’d politely deflected them, but most just resented the fact that they knew she was here because she was the Human Ambassador’s Consort, or Lover, or Fiancée, or…something. To their minds she should have been in the ‘visiting dignitaries’ booth, not taking up one of the most sought-after reporting chairs in the entire bloody League.
She studiously ignored them. The Venter reporters are even more upset about the whole thing than any of you, I promise, but they can at least be civil about it! Besides, for all that any of you know this is just a standard General Session of the Council. Heavens and Hells, they haven’t even closed the window on our observation booth. She had to suppress a small smile. Though some will probably wish they had before the day is done.
She took a moment to count heads inside the Chamber. So few Ambassadors in attendance: Just a few of the Human allies, really, and a few neutral parties. Can’t say I blame the rest of the Ambassadors: with all of the hours they have been cooped up in this Chamber lately having to listen to one another prattle on, it is no wonder they aren’t here when it isn’t strictly required. She shook her head as the Rooksa Ambassador spoke at some length about some tarrif dispute between his government and the Gorfal. Even the Ambassadors who are here can’t be bothered to so much as feign interest. Nearly a third of them are openly asleep, some of them even laying on their floors with a pillow! At least we are almost to the good part.
A snipt of conversation from the other reporters reached her: apparently they were arguing whether they should invite her into whatever card game they were playing secretely on their pads. Those in favor seemed to feel that they should forgive her for taking a reporter spot, since she’d obviously chosen a do-nothing session of the Council to come watch her Lover Boy. Those against her seemed to feel that she wouldn’t be here if something wasn’t going to happen. A quick glance told her that those arguing against her were paying at least some attention to the actual Council meeting.
At last the Rooksa wound his words down, said something about the documents which had been forwarded, and requested that the voting on whatever measure it was he wanted – or didn’t want, she couldn’t tell – could be voted on by members not currently present. No one objected, and the Rooksa returned his podium to its appointed place on the wall.
Then Kazlor, who kept the Venter platform by the Prime Minister’s podium, spoke. “That is the end of the scheduled items for this General Session of the Council. Does anyone have any…
Several of the reporters looked over at her as Henry called for attention. Eldia allowed herself a small smile and sent a message out to the reporters who had been taking her side earlier. The message contained a single word: ‘Showtime.’ With that she looked over at them, gave a sly smile, and winked.
At the same time Kazlor frowned down at Henry and spoke. “Ambassador Archer, do you not feel that you have monopolized enough of this Council’s time the last few months, pushing us into Full Quorum meetings as fast as the computers will allow them?”
Kaz is laying it on thick. She saw Henry speak in answer, then look up at Kazlor with a baleful glare.
Kaz spoke again. “The question was intended to be rehetorical, Ambassador.” Kazlor shook his head and sighed. “However, the rules under which we are operating mean that I must allow you to speak. Please be brief.”
Henry drew himself up to his full height and shot Kaz an indignant look. “Ambassador Feldarin, I have always done my best to be as brief as I can be when speaking. The fact that circumstances, of late, have forced me to bloviate are hardly something for which I should be blamed… I would think that we could reach agreement on that?”
A chuckle went through the chamber, and Kaz made a face like he found the remarks both distasteful and amusing at the same time. The board which counted votes from the Ambassadors lit up with several ‘yay’ votes, followed quickly by three votes against. Eldia expected grumbling at the ‘nay’ votes, but heard rueful chuckles instead.
Henry flashed a large smile at the chamber and pushed buttons to have his image projected on the Chamber’s back wall. “In the interests of brevity, I am going to go ahead and speak from here, and start by thanking most of you for your support.
“Also, Ambassador Feldarin, I thank you for recognizing me and allowing me to speak, and for introducing just thesubject I wish to disucss; these frequent full-quorum meetings we are all being forced to endure because the Pinigra love the past more than the present, and are more afraid of change than they are the ire of this entire Council.
“Please stop trying to interrupt, Ambassador Detara. I am sure that our fair-minded Master of Ceremonies will give the Pinigra Kingdom plenty of chance to speak. Now, as I was saying, I wish to address these meetings we keep having to hold, the rules around them, and the point-of-order tokens which the esteemed Pinigran Ambassador is using to hold this Council hostage.
Kazlor interrupted. “Ambassador Archer, that came very close to an accusation, and I will remind you that the open-floor period at the end of a General Session is not the time to air grievences.”
Henry held up a hand and nodded. If I didn’t know better I’d think that this was all real, or heavily rehearsed. Damn my man is good. She smiled down, even as she dutifully did the job for which she ostensibly sat in her seat.
Henry spoke. “You are correct, of course. My apologies. I am not attempting to air a grievence, though I can understand why my remarks could be seen that way. No, my fellow sapients, I am trying to suggest a way out of the senseless deadlock we are in, or – at the least – a way that we can move forward without having… a single Ambassador force us to all endure these tireless sessions just so that he can shut us down.
“The Confederation’s legal scholars have been studying the particular rules which govern these Point Of Order tokens, and discovered some interesting precedents: It seems that a vote can be held to make a future session immune to the use of those tokens.”
Mutters floated up through the Chamber, and Henry suddenly had the riveted attention of every sapient in the room. Even the ones who had been hard asleep seemed to realized that something had happened and roused themselves to pay attention. The Pinigra was waving his hand through his buttons so hard that Eldia feared the bird might actually take flight, of course, but no one seemed to want to pay him any mind.
Henry continued, a sly half-grin on his face acknowledged the attention. “There are a few rules about this, of course, but among the most interesting are the fact that the session to be made immune must be a special single-purpose session, and that purpose must be stated as part of the vote. The date of the session does not have to be specified, however. In fact, there is nothing which requires the session to take place if the vote to make it immune fails. The vote would not be repeatable in the same session if it does fail, of course, basic Council rules and dictates still apply.”
Henry drew himself up and favored the Council with a broad smile, allowing them to mutter among themselves and digest the news. When did that particular Human get so damned… handsome. I mean, he was always nice to look at, in a strange sort of way, but now… Wait, something is wrong. What is that damned Pinigra doing? He should have interrupted already!
Henry allowed the muttering to continue for longer than he normally would have. He looked the picture of amused stability, and a ready plan, but she could read him better than that, and knew the plan. The Pinigra isn’t taking the bait, and that is bothering him. It took a lot of effort for her to keep her eyes on Henry and not glance up at Kaz or the Pinigra.
Before the silence could begin to look like Henry was waiting for something, he opened his mouth to continue. Then the Pinigra interrupted. The bastard bird is trying to knock Henry off his game. He did succeed a little, I guess, though not for the reason he thinks. She kept her annoyed harrumph entirely to herself.
The Pinigran Ambassador, Detara, spoke in officious tones. “The esteemed Human Ambassador is correct, to a point. Such a vote is allowed, and can take place. However, such a vote also requires a Grand Session of the Council, even if it does not require a super-majority.” The Ambassador looked down at Henry and smirked.
No it doesn’t you over-grown downy pillow, and you know it… and you are going to pay for that.
Henry looked up at the Pinigra and shrugged. “No, it does not Ambassador Detara, and you know it.” Henry held up a hand before the bird could interrupt. “However, I’m not going to argue the point at this time. I have evidence I could present, of course… but then you would stand there and present counter-evidence, and we’d have shouting matches in this chamber for days between us over precedents and examples and counter-examples, not to mention how many others might want to chime in. Then, of course, there would be the need for everyone to go off and carefully study all of the evidence presented and… well… no, I think you all know what this would look like.
“No, I think it will be far simpler to proceede just as you suggest.” Henry hit several buttons and issued an immediate Call To Quroum, using his decleration and the Pinigra’s counter as the video to accompany the call. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Detara!
“The Call To Quorum has been issued, and I believe the Pinigran’s words count as an Honarary third, which means we only need a second for the Call to come to a vote. Do I have a…”
Eldia held her breath as the board lit up with seconds from nearly half of the Ambassadors present. She looked at the lights and saw the Rooksa had, indeed, held his hand. Good, he has been looking far to much like a tacit ally rather than a neutral party. As if the number of his kind who have joined the Confederation to fight the Xaltan isn’t bad enough. At least he has seen sense in this.
The vote to issue the Call carried easily, and runners were sent. Eldia allowed herself to look at the Pinigra – everyone else seemed to be doing so as well – and saw the man sitting, arms folded over crossed legs, giving every appearance of being at ease. She suppressed a chuckle. Oh, you think you know what is coming, and think you will be able to counter it, don’t you? You think yourself so clever, because of how well you play The PastTime back home, huh? Welcome to the new court and the new rules, boy-o. My boyfriend going to have himself some fried bird legs for dinner.
When the Council came back from recesses Eldia couldn’t suppress her smile. I haven’t seen this much life in this Chamber in months. Indeed, the place seemed to have an almost festive air, but also an undercurrent of irritation at being called away from whatever ‘important’ business the various Ambassadors had been engaged in.
Links are minimal, still. Am I the only one having having trouble with the links in markdown mode? Used to be I could copy the 'wiki' and 'patreon' links from another page, and they'd work.... at least the tool doesn't require me to scroll down a half-dozen times past the bottom of the page anymore...
submitted by Fearadhach to HFY [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:25 Gandalf-108 Evening Mischa, You're Fired!

Hello everyone, I'm Mischa. Inspired by yesterday's live event, I wrote this piece right afterward.
I've been on a weight loss journey since late 2021 and I've lost 20 kilograms so far. I've reached 11,5% bodyfat, but I'm working to lowering that percentage. I still have quite a bit of abdominal fat which I would like to lose for health reasons, but also because I want to reach a lean physique.
Dipping into those last few kilograms of fat have produced the strongest cravings which led to some poor choices.
During my weight loss journey I have managed to get rid of a few Mischa's. They are all forms of Evening Bryan who have progressively been refined through my weight loss journey:
I've come far. I am consistently eating a whole foods plant based diet without refined carbohydrates or sugar. I've been vegan for 6 years (with some periods of vegetarianism here and there), and I've been tracking calories since I started my weight loss journey using YAZIO.
I never binge on junk food any more. These days, cheating consists of eating more nuts, raisins, fruits or peanut butter than my daily caloric budget allows. I binge on whole, healthy foods, but they can still lead to stalls in weight loss. Calories will always be calories.
submitted by Gandalf-108 to blueprint_ [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:24 EERMA Preparing for Your Dreams

Everyone has – or had - dreams.
However, many miss out on the best that their life has to offer them because they fail to properly prepare. You can choose to be different from others, and different from your previous self.
Why have a mind if you never change it?
Being ready prepares you to manage whatever obstacles stand in your way, or arise unexpectedly. It means that you refuse to be denied the destiny that is rightfully yours. While it's not possible to be ready for everything, it is possible to be as prepared as you can be for anything that is reasonably foreseeable. Preparation is the key to recognizing, receiving and experiencing genuine lasting fulfilment.
In a world of few certainties, you can push the odds largely in your favour by recognising and grasping the opportunities that fill our world. And that means being ready:
· Get the basics of your life under control.
· Get – and remain - in intellectual control.
· Develop your authentic self.
· Consistently develop your capabilities.
· Building reserves to manage the setbacks.
Preparing to Realise Your Dreams
Everyone is walking their own path with a unique journey, a unique destination – and a unique legacy. Whatever your dreams are, start preparing for them now – opportunities are everywhere for those ready to recognize them. Dreams can be large or small, and some can take a very long time to come to pass. Just keep going, and plan to succeed. When you do, the odds are in your favour.
There are many ways you can prepare for your dreams:
· Develop a clear description of the dream.
· Reverse plan how you will achieve the dream: start with the dream, then work out the final stage, then the one before that, and the one before that – all the way back to the present day.
· Learn how to use self-hypnosis. The techniques we have here are transformational.
· Let go of the baggage from the past which no longer serves you.
· Keep a journal about what you're accomplishing toward your dreams.
· Reflect on what has gone well – and why it has gone well.
· Monitor your progress – what worked, what didn’t: what have I learned, how will I apply that learning?
· Seeking out the people who can help you realize your dreams.
· Continue to be your best and work hard, especially when things appear difficult.
· Consider the benefits of working with a skilled therapist: putting things in perspective, sharing the tools to support your progress: a huge return for your investment in yourself.
The most important thing you can do, is to keep your dreams in mind. Focus on them every day. Visualize success. Constantly remind yourself why your dreams are important. Deliberate on the negative thoughts of your inner critic. work with a therapist to remove those limiting beliefs and challenge those unresourceful thought patterns. Preparing for your dreams means recognising that you are good enough and you are worthy: progressing towards your dreams becomes your everyday reality.
As you continue to take steps in the direction of your dreams, you'll become more prepared for their realisation day by day. Overcome both the fear of failure and the fear of success with consistent, positive steps in the direction of your dreams. Reflect on what strategies are and are not working, and develop your strategy until you’re getting the progress you want.
Get the Dream You Really Want
Commit to your vision in each major area of your life, possibly in a journal, but most importantly – deep inside yourself.
When you begin to think about what you truly want from the perspective of your authentic self, free from limiting beliefs, you'll find your true passions. You'll find what matters most to you and you'll feel the excitement, and the fulfilment, of walking your own path. This is what it means to prepare yourself for your dreams. When you're prepared, you'll know that you are already on your way and you just need to keep going.
Genuine Desire + Effective Strategy + Persistent Consistence =
Authentic Results
submitted by EERMA to WellbeingHypnotherapy [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:24 Zestyclose_Read_360 Colombia citizen traveling without a Colombian passport

I’m sure this topic has been discussed here several times in the past but I haven’t read anything recent. I am a Colombian citizen who was adopted and raised in the USA. I have been back to Colombia nearly 5 times without a Colombian passport and they always let me in and out. I did get pulled aside last time the problem is I don’t really remember what they said. I know they looked me up in their system and couldn’t find me (because I have changed my name but they don’t know that). Well for my cousins graduation gift we have a trip to colombia planned next week and I have been consistently unable to renounce my citizenship and can no longer obtain a Colombian passport due to my job not allowing me to hold dual nationality (even though I technically do, not sure how I got away with this). They are asking for some apostille which I have no idea what this is. My cousin is also a Colombian citizen who is adopted and also doesn’t hold a Colombian passport but has never reentered the country since leave so I doubt she will have any issues (especially because she speaks no Spanish, I find the less you know the easier on you they are… or maybe it’s just because one cannot understand). Basically I’m running into a ton of issues. I leave for Colombia in a few days and I’m worried I will get stuck there or worse not allowed to enter. Any advice would be much appreciated!!!! Need to figure out what to do, where to go or what to say and fast.
submitted by Zestyclose_Read_360 to Colombia [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:24 Ahmmzy The Beginning

I am delighted to inform you that I have taken over and this is the start for this great community. I pondered on introducing myself but with time, this will become apparent.
I have been on the page, making edits for the past 3 days straight to get us rocking. I never thought I could setup the community alone but, I did. (Love to hear your feedback on our themes/appearance overall).
Your contribution is what would matter the most to the community overall. Always try to give more than you would take away here.
Firstly, I need you to familiarize yourself with the rules and code of conduct for MusicDistribution. These rules will be the guide for activities here as we evolve gradually and make amends as required. You can go ahead and label yourself with an appropriate flair already.
There are resource pages in our Wiki Tab. We will work together as a community to enrich each of those resource tabs.
Note: If you aren't 100% sure of the accuracy of an entry, do not add that entry. (We don't want to have to change this model to mods only) .
This community will pride itself on premium Resources that are indispensable.
Stay vigilant. Although I have created certain sophisticated flags to protect the community via Automod, your vigilance will mean a great deal for our community.
Anything that doesn't align with our rules should be flagged down and reported. Our contents must be safe for all.
Please use appropriate usepost flairs. Posts/Comments should follow all the necessary guidelines and 100% be on topic at all times.

I need serious minds to join me in making this place great.
Reach out for Mod access. If all is fine, we would start out slow and go up as you showcase your worth to the community. I am super interested in knowing you.

Note: you will be offering this with no strings attached
This should be great for a reasonable introduction.

From here, I wanna see your Posts, Engagements in this community. Bask away in Music Distribution and help us all navigate it in the best way possible.

Don't forget to share this community with others who would benefit/enrich it.

submitted by Ahmmzy to MusicDistribution [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:24 BruteSentiment Daily Minors Quick-Notes 6/4/23 - Grant McCray wins a bad offensive day

Daily Minors Quick-Notes 6/4/23 - Grant McCray wins a bad offensive day
I won’t lie…today sucked if you liked offense in the Giants farm system, but Grant McCray had a nice day with a triple and a home run. But there are some encouraging pitching performances and one free agent debut to check out, at least. So read? Please?

AAA: Tacoma 4, Sacramento 1

Sacramento Notes:
  • A weak offensive day led to a Sacramento loss. Sacramento and Tacoma traded runs in the first inning, but the River Cats only managed a total of three hits. In the 5th, Tacoma got the big hit: a 3-run home run that broke the tie and gave Tacoma the win.
  • Rehabbing Joey Bart had one of the team’s three hits, playing seven innings behind the plate while going 1-for-3 with two strikeouts. Bart has played three games on this rehab stint, and has gone 2-for-11 (.182) with five strikeouts.
  • Luis Matos was 1-for-4 with a single. With 17 games under his belt at Triple-A, with a batting line of .297/.434/.551 with five doubles, two triples, and one home run. He has six strikeouts to five walks.
  • Starting pitcher Keaton Winn had four strong innings, giving up just one unearned run on two hits and two walks, with six strikeouts, and also committed an error with a bad pickoff throw. Winn shaved his ERA to 4.35, and now has 51 strikeouts to 21 walks in 41.1 innings.
  • Erik Miller faced seven batters, walking two of them and striking out the rest in 1.2 innings. The five strikeouts are a season-high, and he now has 21 strikeouts to 10 walks in 15.2 innings, and his ERA is now 2.30.

AA: Erie 6, Richmond 1

Richmond Notes:
  • In Double-A, it was another weak offensive output. Richmond managed just two hits, although they did manage to get a run, as both hits were doubles and the run scored on a sacrifice fly. Meanwhile, Ryan Murphy had his best start in a while, but ultimate Richmond gave up six runs for a relatively easy win for Erie.
  • Jimmy Glowenke had one of the only hits of the day, going 1-for-3 with his first double at Double-A. In five games with Richmond, Glowenke is now 5-for-18 (.278) with the double as his first extra-base hit of any kind with his new team. He also has a walk and four strikeouts.
  • The other hit was from catcher Andy Thomas, who was 1-for-4 with his sixth double of the season. The turn of the calendar to June has been good for Thomas, who is now 4-for-12 (.333) with a double and a home run, though with no walks and four strikeouts. Overall, he’s batting .215 with six doubles and five home runs.
  • It was a good start for Ryan Murphy, who gave up only one run on four hits and no walks, with three strikeouts. It was a good bounceback for Murphy after he gave up six runs in his last start. It was Murphy’s first appearance of the season without a walk, and in his five May starts, Murphy had walked 14 in 16.0 combined innings.

High-A: Vancouver 7, Eugene 3

Eugene Notes:
  • The Emeralds managed five hits, with Grant McCray providing the power, but that and Eugene’s three runs paled in comparison to Vancouver, scoring seven runs on 13 hits. Vancouver scored four runs in the first inning, highlighted by a triple and a home run, and never looked back.
  • Grant McCray led the team by going 2-for-4 with a triple and a home run. That gives McCray three triples and eight home runs to go with seven doubles in 49 games. McCray has a batting line of .236/.345/.426 with 29 walks to 68 strikeouts.
  • Carter Howell was 2-for-3 with a walk. In a very successful six games after his High-A callup, Howell now has a .458/.500/.583 batting line with a double and triple. That’s after he had a .337/.398/.500 in 39 games at San Jose.
  • The only other hit by Eugene was Aeverson Arteaga, who went 1-for-4 with three strikeouts. In 47 games, Arteaga has 24 walks to 54 strikeouts, with a .209/.307/.390 batting line for Eugene.
  • Starter Matt Mikulski had a really fough game, giving up six runs, four earned, in 3.1 innings on six hits and three walks, while striking out only one. Mikulski’s ERA bumped up to 7.89 on the season with the game. He’s given up 40 hits in 29.2 innings, allowing a .331 batting average. He’s struck out 32 against 22 walks.
  • Reliever Seth Lonsway had a good game, with 2.2 scoreless innings, allowing two hits and two walks while striking out five. But it’s his first game out of 11 on the season in which he did not allow a run. He has a 6.82 ERA with 33 strikeouts to 19 walks in 34.1 innings.

Low-A: Fresno 7, San Jose 2

San Jose Notes:
  • Hey! San Jose had solid offense, scoring two runs on seven hits, but their defense led something to be lacked. Five errors led to four unearned runs for Fresno as the Grizzlies took the finale of the series.
  • Reggie Crawford picked up his first hit of the season (in his second game as a hitter), going 1-for-4 with a double, the only San Jose extra-base hit. He’s now 1-for-7, with his last game as a hitter back on May 24th.
  • Right fielder Turner Hill went 2-for-4 with a walk and a steal. In four games with the Giants since he signed, Hill is 6-for-17 (.353) with a double, and has a walk to two strikeouts, with two steals in as many attempts.
  • Third baseman Andrew Kachel was 1-for-3 with a walk, but also had two errors in the horrible defensive game. Kachel has a .299/.382/.460 with 19 walks to 41 strikeouts, and has 13 doubles to three home runs. Kachel, who has played games across three positions this season, now has three errors in 13 games at first, two errors in five games, and four errors in 13 games at third.
  • Starter Hayden Wynja had a bit of a mixed start, giving up five runs in 4.0 innings, but just one earned run, on three hits and no walks, with three strikeouts. Wynja now has a 4.20 ERA, the lowest it’s been since mid-April. Wynja now has 40 strikeouts to 11 walks in 30.0 innings.
  • Sean Newcomb made his season debut at Low-A, striking out two without allowing any baserunners in a single inning of work. The 29-year old signed as a minor league free agent in the offseason. Newcomb has spent parts of six seasons in the Majors, mostly with Atlanta, but with both the Braves and Cubs in 2022, with a career MLB ERA of 4.52, but a 2022 MLB ERA of 8.78.
One final note…come back for the Daily Minors Quick Notes tomorrow! That’s right, we will have Monday baseball, as the Arizona Complex League and Dominican Summer League begin play. 8 minor league teams! Notes for those teams will be significantly shorter, as there’s less notable prospects at that level, and I won’t do game recap paragraphs unless there’s something really notable. Gotta save time after all!
submitted by BruteSentiment to SFGiants [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:21 Caliguyhere707 32 [M4F] in San Bruno and south sf now and Monterey till Wednesday otherwise Fairfield Vacaville Vallejo, and commute to San Bruno , Daly City and south San Francisco

I’m a 31 year old white mixed male looking for an ongoing distraction. I’m clean and vaccinated and able to travel around the Bay Area. Please also be clean and open to things. Thank you
Also have a breeding kink:
I am 5’9 caucasian mixed male. Fertile, successful in the past and seeking like minded women who are seeking to get pregnant and want their conception to be enjoyable (and pleasurable) as well as meaningful and purposeful. No arthritis and no heart issues in my family history. No STIs and no HIV and willing to show a printed copy of my test results to reassure you. I'm also sexually experienced and attentive to every new recipient. As long as you are over 18, I'm willing to help any women of any age, ethnicity, shape and size. in regards to... "My personal size," I'm circumcised, 6" long. I do my best to take good care of myself and I'm in my most fertile stage when I eat a large daily portions of seafood in my diet a week or two before every donation. If this has piqued your interest, let me know. I want to make your impregnation a success and I won't stop till the job gets done. Thank you.
submitted by Caliguyhere707 to SFr4r [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:21 indian-goose Caste, Casteism and modern Hindu praxis as compared to the original wisdom of Vedas

Caste is an interesting evil and a social phenomenon of the Indian soil. It is founded neither on subjective nor objective fact or reality; yet it influences our minds in a strange way and makes us behave peculiarly, as if possessed by the notion, which becomes sufficiently real to us. The patterns that the notion is able to trace on social behavior have strange outlines and persistent and deep origins. Primitive peoples suffer from it more than those who lead an open and dynamic life. Separatist instinct itself supports it from the negative side. Race and color provide it sometimes with a semblance of objective reality.
From the positive side of human nature, vague notions of traditional origin and of supposed spiritual value lend it support. Thus nourished it thrives on the tree of life as epiphyte. Though unsupported by scientific ethnology, weak people rely on a pseudo-sociology in which they find some consolation. As it works in favor of some sections of the people as against others, those who reap the advantage naturally give it their support. The notion thus enters as a factor in the struggle for life and the very vagueness of the claims of caste superiority keeps it alive from generation to generation.
Outward marks and behavior give caste an independent objective reality, as when a policeman wears his uniform. Thus given artificially, the outer reality meets the inner psychology, so that with vague sociological and psychological justifications, the notion of caste establishes itself firmly rooted in the body politic, economic and social. Its very unreasonableness is its strength, and unwary people get their notions of spirituality molded by it through its ready-made shapes of forms available in actual society at a given time.
The social value called ‘chastity’, especially the chastity of women, is at the core of this notion of caste. As the Epic Ramayana had Sita at its core in the long and eventful stories in which men killed each other in great numbers, so caste thrives as a vague fear in the subconscious group mind of peoples lest imaginary cultural or religious barriers should be violated by the so-called outsiders. The danger of the confusion of castes to which Arjuna himself alludes in the Bhagavad Gita (I.41) is thought of as arising from unchaste women due to mixing up of castes. It is true that Krishna himself, as representing Absolute wisdom, does not support this view, but wholly ignores the plea. Caste is a word of Portuguese origin currently used in India after the historic connection of the Portuguese with India in recent times. It is derived from the same root as ‘chaste’. It refers to the purity claimed by a clan or tribe because of the chastity of the women within its closed and static imaginary frontiers.
When caste notions became a chronic nightmare to the Indian mind, various rationalizations were attempted by the fundamentalist orthodoxy at different epochs of Indian history. The post-Gupta period was responsible for formulating caste as a social system, and it was then it got its sonorous title of varna-ashrama-dharma (duty, based on color or race and stage or calling in life).
In Spite of such a fine-sounding name based on a compromise and an attempted rationalization, however, caste as a system remains vague and indefinable still from any understandable norms or standards, whether ethnological, sociological or biological. Varna-ashrama-dharma (color-calling-duty), kula-dharma (clan-duty) and jati-dharma (duty as belonging to a kind of species of beings) are to be distinguished carefully if we are to get anywhere to the bottom of the riddle of caste.
We have seen that the first term (varna-ashrama-dharma) is a vague attempt at the rationalization of caste for politico-economic purposes after the Gupta period. The second term, kula-dharma refers to the inbreeding and purity of strain of certain clans. A lower-caste woman could marry a high-caste man but the converse would not be permissible, and so forth. These are features of such a caste-system as prevailed for historical reasons and which no longer hold good in modern India. They deserve to be forgotten as a bad dream.
Casteism in Bhagavad Gita and Vedas
The Bhagavad Gita has two main references to caste, one at the end of ninth chapter and one in the eighteenth chapter. The well-known ‘chatur-varnyam’ reference alluded to Bhagavad Gita’s attempt at making a social hierarchy as presented in chapter 4 verse 13 is a himalayan attempt by the orthodoxy to justify caste and make an impression that it is hardwired to the social system by God, giving it an absolute status.
Chapter 4 of Gita is called Jnana-Yoga (Unitive Wisdom) which is preceded by the teachings pertaining to the Unitive way of action. On carefully studying the Gita, the specific verse (13) is not talking about a four-fold division in society but it is talking about the nature of action (karma) and its apparent origin in Absolute Reality. The obligatory character of caste is taken away and characterized as a free and contingent factor in life. This is found in Chapter XI, verse 32, which throws open the door of the high spirituality recommended in the Gita to women, vaisyas (traders) and even those outside the Aryan pale (sudras). A further comparison of the implications of the sequence of verses (Chapter XVIII, 41 et seq) confers a revalued status of caste free from all obligatory character altogether. When this is read together with (XVIII.66) the wisdom-teacher says to abandon all dharma (duties) and take refuge in Absolute wisdom, which is not a state of inaction or morbid selflessness but to act according to one's own inherent tendencies and talents without the anxiety and spiritual regret. Then the caste hierarchy based on vocation becomes shadowy and non-existent and humans are free to choose their own caste.
Furthermore, in one among the 108 Upanishads which are considered as authentic, the Vajrasuchika Upanishad explicitly talks about who is a Brahamana - the holy order. It is not based on birth or action that a Brahamana is identified but his spiritual status as a person endowed with Absolute experiential wisdom. There are more references from even major Upanishads (Chandogya Upanishad - the episode of Janasruti and Raikva) where a sudra was instructed in Brahma-vidya (the Science of the Absolute) which is kept secret and away from all by the Brahmanical orthodoxy now. This shows how ignorant, misinformed and fanatical the orthodoxy really is.
Man’s Humanity Distinguishes the Human Kind
Reformist Sage like Narayana Guru (from Kerala) had an approach to the problem of caste which was neither accidental or unconscious. In the first line of his composition he evidently addresses himself to the Hindu orthodoxy when he insists in the Sanskrit language of Hindu orthodoxy itself that humanity is what should give us superiority. In other words the good person is one who is more human and who recognizes humanity in his fellow beings.
The requirements of social justice, of morality, and for the superiority in the name of one’s caste are all thus referred to the same central and unitive principle in the value called Humanity. Likewise when human and godly values are treated unitively in the religious context we get the same result of an absolute human value at the core of human affairs.
On a certain occasion the Guru went so far as to say that if his devoted followers insisted as they sometimes did, on considering him as an apostle of God, they could so only on condition that such a status was conferred on him because of his opposition to caste as it prevailed.
The unique status of Narayana Guru implicit and explicit in his attitude as one who wished to abolish caste barriers is a matter that needs greater recognition in modern times not only in India but the world over. The poignant complaint of the Guru is expressed at the very end of the very first verse of his composition: “Alas ! This truth no one understands!”
We see that authentic Indian seers and wisdom teachers were not with the orthodoxy in their claims of being a superior individual but they saw sameness in all beings. This we see in the master-mind of Vyasa himself in his epoch-making masterpiece - The Bhagavad Gita, we read:
“The wise man considers with equality the brahmin endowed with learning and humility, the cow, the elephant and the dog as also the dog-eater. (V.18)”
These words put the seal as it were on the uniqueness of the discovery of the Indian Gurus in their own words. The unity and solidarity of humanity was what was most dear to the heart of these spiritual giants.
Narayana Guru, like many others spent all his life revaluing and restating the ancient perennial wisdom of the Indian seers - the Upanishads. When there was a gathering in his humble hermitage, he asked one of his attendants to make a welcome sign in bold letters which says: “AUM! SAHODARYAM SARVATRA !” “AUM! Brotherhood Omnipresent Fills !”
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2023.06.05 08:20 zizn Anybody ever wonder about how drug use might’ve potentially changed you?

I mean, I’ve had some experiences I wouldn’t trade for the world. I’m doing alright, relative to how I could be doing. Not 100% as sharp as I used to be, but still demonstrably¹ not an idiot. We’re likely all² relatively smart here, no shame in saying that. I don’t encounter much excitement in conversations had about esoteric topics anymore, but I met someone recently who has complimented the way I think a couple of times kind of weird but I’ll take it. I used to impress a lot of people with passion for all kinds of different topics. Not so much anymore. Which is fine, it’s just different. I used to strike it off right away with anyone and know their life story in ten minutes. Now I just wonder if I’m not very approachable. Maybe it’s just getting older.
But the fact of the matter is, I really don’t know. I sleep, wake up, feel fine. Trip, sleep, wake up, feel fine. I don’t know if imperceptible changes are going down. All I know is how I currently see things. I can’t compare that to a brain snapshot from ten years ago. If I could, it would be different anyway. You’d have to compare the change to that of the hypothetical snapshot. The whole thing is a confusing hamster wheel wreck. The fact that we don’t have much research to lean on here — at least, strong research — removes some assurance. Sometimes when I take phenibut, I feel that it just brings me back to the wit and level of optimism I had had before the year or so of daily dependence. Could just be that my threshold of appreciation for that state of mind changed, that I got used to feeling better than usual.
Ultimately, I guess you can’t change the past. No sense in focusing on a fantasy situation you could be in if you had been dealt a better hand, or played a different order. The one thing that doesn’t change is that we’re in a constant state of change. I think if we accept that, at least the differences won’t catch us off-guard. I’m thinking out-reddit here, that probably sounds like a hallmark card. I’m not trying to tell anybody what to do. Fuck it, head over to /stims and be the change.
Anywho, I’m a lil high, in case you can’t tell. I hope everyone here is having a lovely time of day. Just figured I’d throw this out there; start a conversation. Hopefully not a fire.
Fearlessly, the idiot faced the crowd, smiling\ Merciless, the magistrate turns 'round, frowning\ And who's the fool who wears the crown?\ Go down in your own way, and every day is the right day.
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2023.06.05 08:19 throwaway559244 Sexually assaulted multiple people as a kid. Feel like my life's fucked up

I sexually assaulted multiple people as a kid I feel i've fucked up my life. Let me start off from my childhood When i was only a few years old maybe 5 or 6 i discovered porn on youtube, i discovered it too early. Consequently I got caught by someone then they told my mom, she got really mad and wanting me to stop watching it,she threatened to bring me to the police station for watching it. So as a kid i got more and more curious of it. I started developing abnormal sexual behaviors at a very young age. One time, I was hanging out with my grandma, now this grandma I still remember when we were young with my cousins until like the age of 7 or something, (I cant remember the age) but she would breast feed us. Now after i discovered porn, I started thinking breast feeding as something sexual. I remember being with my grandma and then suddenly asking her the things I learned from porn. Asking her if she could '' put her mouth on my private'', basically inappropriate questions and this was when i was very young! She became shocked and mad and told my mom about it. Throughout my childhood I would watch' 'kissing prank' 'videos on youtube.I also remembered playing ''Family'' with my cousins and having a crush on my girl cousin and roleplaying husband and wife. I would also sometimes try to look at girls breasts by intentionally standing close to them and trying to get a peak inside their cleavage and see if I can see inside. Another story of a shitty thing I did as a child: I remember once when i was at school, there was a girl and I dropped on the ground, flipped her dress and purposely saw her underwear. I also remember once when I was hanging out with one of my older cousin, I dont remember much when this happened but I think I was very young. Basically, I think we were in a room and he took out his penis and asked me to suck it and he would give me a lollipop. Being a child, I wanted the lollipop but was hesitant. Now, like i said i dont remember much but I think I agreed and I put my mouth on it for like a quick second and quickly went to the toilet to wash my mouth. Im not very sure of much that happened since i was very young but yea. I also remember this cousin, once he masturbated in his room and I was in there and he would show me pictures of naked woman in a biology textbook. Growing up, I did weird stuffs like smelling bras or underwears of my aunts. After discovering porn, after seeing videos of people sucking on boobs, after seeing it as sexualIy. I wanted to try to be breastfed again. This is the part that I regret the most, When i was around 10 or 11 years old, I was at a sleepover at my moms side grandma house (not the grandma I mentioned above) I remember multiple instances of me touching her breasts. The first time, her back was having pain so she told me to apply a heating pad on her back and when i was applying, I dont know why but I grabbed her breasts and sucked on it. She didnt said anything. Then when we went to sleep, I was sleeping next to her, I tried to lie by saying I was '' cold'' to get closer to her. Then i grabbed her breasts, sucked on it and slowly laying on top of her,I tried to take off her pants but luckily did not as she was wearing tight yoga pants . I think if she was not wearing the pants I would have done something I would regret for the rest of my life like raping her. (Im not sure if this counts as attempted rape as Im not sure what I was thinking when I tried to take off her pants) I would grab her breasts multiple time and she told me not to do that as someone would sue me if I did it.A few years after this happened, when I started realising how wrong it was, I tried to apologize to my grandma multiple times but she would always defend me by saying I was just a kid and I was curious but now im questioning myself maybe as I took advantage of situations and maybe I was not curious, I mean I knew what sex was because of porn, Im not sure if I understood consent though I dont really know what I knew back then but I did things without thinking. I Mentioned it to her a few times but she told me that it hurts for her to see me being like this and told me to stop thinking about it and told me to stop mentioning it again and not to tell anyone about it.
The next:I am unsure the age I was when these 3 instance of sexual assaults happen but maybe around the age of 10-12 Second time i commited sexual assault I was at school and I remember being in class and all the students gathered in a crowd. I remember a girl was in front of me and I started secretly thrusting my hip onto her butt. After a few years this happened, I confessed to her and she told me she did not know this happened and was glad I told her.
Third time, It was when me and a younger girl cousin was playing hide and seek and I remember us hiding under the bed. I was behind her and I remember feeling aroused fron it and taking advantage of the situation I told her to squeeze closer in. I dont think I touched her but I cant remember much of what happened.
Fourth time: This was when i was also young Im not sure of the age But basically One of my moms friends were teaching me how to do my homework She was guiding me and sitting beside me helping me hold the pencil. I remember I think she was not wearing a bra and my arms felt her nipples, taking advantage of the situation I kept on '' accidentally'' move my arms, rubbing her nipples.
Even though now I am in a good relationship with my grandma, the girl I assaulted and my cousins. I really feel immense regret for all these things that I did. Not a day goes by that I dont think about it, it really is killing me and I havent told much people about it except for some online friends. I really dont know what to do, I am 15 years old, cant seem to forgive myself. I also dont know if I will have a SO in the future and if they will be willing to accept me for my past. I've done lots of unimaginable shitty things when I was young and the guilt is just overwhelming. I am going overseas to study soon and honestly Im scared. I cant focus on school as Im always in the past. I know what I have told you guys doesnt sound real but all these really happen and I feel like no one understands me, I try to move on and be happy, but I think everyone will be shocked when they know what I've done in the past. And honestly I dont know if I am truly remorseful or maybe I am just selfish and just want to not feel guilty by confessing and looking for sympathy. Is it wrong if I want to feel happy again and get over the past. I really want to change, I wanna be normal again. But I cant, I've done these actions so that means Im gonna have to live with it. I dont know if Im a good person or a bad person. Even though everythings fine now in my life but I just cant seem to get over the past. I've develop OCD and stuff and I fear that I'll go crazy if I keep holding this in. So, this is my confession.
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2023.06.05 08:18 drpoucevert Question about dreams

Hi beautiful helping community, I have a questions about dreams. But first a little bit of context: i have been a daily smoker for the last 20 years, with breaks here and there but nothing serious (it was mostly because i was travelling for business or in countries that forbid the use). But my memories failures, my emotionally ups and downs, the help of my wife, help me put the finger on my problem: excess consumption of weed. First i started with consuming less powerfull weed and then the break. It's been 16 days. the first week was amazing, no trouble sleeping, waking up without any problems, felt great in my head. I tapped my shoulder every day saying to myself: you will make it,i'm proud of you. But know that my dreams came back, i'm all upside down. In Psychology it's a fact that we dream mostly about the last 28 days. But here it's like my brain is going back 20 years back. I cannot discuss it here, but it's pretty fucked up. Really fucked up. And it's messing with me and my sleep Anyone also had a backflash from 20 years ago? Like going back in the past and slowly moving towards the present? Thanks
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2023.06.05 08:17 LordDurand Just found out my ex moved in with the guy she had a huge crush on

I want to close my eyes and, in an instant, be free of all feeling and never have to open them again.
She broke up with me at the beginning of the year. We had a long talk, and we both cried, but in the end she still left. A lot of things were said, and I don't know if she meant for them to be hurtful or not. She said I wasn't enough, that she needed someone who was masculine and dominant. But you knew what I was when you met me, didn't you? I get confused for a girl about 70% of the time, you knew that, right? And I always told you, from the very beginning, that I liked being the little spoon. That I wanted to be soft, to not have to live up to any of society's expectations of men, that I just wanted to feel safe and secure and protected with someone. That I wanted to feel like I, just by myself, with all my imperfections, with all the feminine parts of me that everyone is repulsed by, with everything I've always felt wasn't what a man should look like-- that I was still enough for someone. You knew all that. Why'd you stay for as long as you did if you hated all of it?
When we were dating, she told me she had a big crush on one of her guy-friends. I was always insecure about it because he was a lot more conventionally attractive, always had girls hitting on him, and was always single. But she assured me that she wasn't interested in him anymore. I guess I never could fully believe it.
Today I opened Venmo to transfer some money, and I saw that he'd been paying rent to her landlord, and that he was also sending her money for the wifi bill. I don't know for sure how long they've been living together now, at least a month. It's her life, she can do whatever she wants and be with whoever she wants, and I've tried to come to terms with that. But it just feels so unfair. That she gets to just move on like that and have someone else with her. And I'm still here, on my own, same as I've always been.
I've been trying to work on myself. I started doing Jiu-Jitsu to complement my kickboxing training, I started learning guitar and practicing every day, I picked up reading again, I got my motorcycle license, I got promoted. I feel like in just a few months, I've come so far. But I'm still stuck. Swiping on dating apps, getting maybe one match maybe every few months if I'm lucky, that usually turns up to be nothing. There was one girl I went on a few dates on, but she ghosted me.
And I just don't know what to do. My entire life, I've just wanted someone to feel at home with. Someone I can always go to, someone I can be totally, completely myself with, without having to put on any kind of face, without having to put on any kind of armor to face the harshness of the world. I don't want any of what I've done. I don't want to feel like I have to learn to fight, or to pick up random skills or hobbies, or ride on a dangerous two-wheeled machine, or have the position I do. I just want to be with someone. I want to love and to be loved, and that's it, that's always been it.
It's my birthday today. I'm 24 now. 24 more years than I needed or wanted. I remember all the times I was at a firing range with a gun in my hands, thinking about how in a single flash, I could be done with it all. And I regret that I'm still here. It feels like nothing will ever get better. It's like I'm trapped in an old shack in the midst of a harsh, never-ending blizzard. I can decorate the inside as much as I like, make it all pretty and inviting. But nobody's ever going to show up. In the end, it's still an old shack; the snowstorm outside is one that knows no lifting, and things will always be like this.
I have tried all that I can think of. This broke me completely. I don't know how I can keep going on like this. Every morning, I wake up and have nothing to be excited about. I can't imagine a girl ever being excited about me, wanting to talk to me and get to know me in every way she can.
I'm 24 now, but I still feel like the same stupid kid I was in high school. I still fall asleep in the same empty bed, staring at the same sparse ceiling with the fan I'm afraid to turn on because of how much it shakes and threatens to fall right off. And then all the same insecurities come flooding back, everything I thought I moved past. Where I once thought I'm okay being mistaken as a girl, that it's cool how androgynous I am, I realize how much it sets me back, how hard it is to find someone attracted to me. I come to resent my face, my eyes, my height, my hair, my body, my voice. Everything everyone else can perceive feels like a reason for them to steer clear, or just treat me like a little brother even if I'm years older than them.
When I was in middle school, where there was this clique of the popular boys, the cool jocks or whatever, I always wished I was one of them. Not in the sense of wishing I could be in that crowd, but that I was literally living in the body of one of them. I'd sing stupid mournful songs about it in the shower, I'd think about it as I fell asleep.
And today, it's not that different. Every night I go to bed, wishing I could wake up in a different body. Being rebellious, or an iconoclast, or something contrary to society's standards is a cool thing to talk about. Until it's forced upon you, until you can't match what society wants no matter how hard you try, until you can't fit in and you can't attract people to you.
When I was going to therapy, my therapist said something along the lines of how I'm more interesting than the typical "Abercrombie and Fitch white guy," and it was funny and made me feel a little better at the time. But I think I'd rather just conform. I'd rather just be conventionally attractive and fit right in and have my pick of whoever I wanted than be unique.
What's the point of having a unique life experience if there's no one to share it with?
I feel like I'm at the end of my line.
submitted by LordDurand to lonely [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:16 august_ophelia Finished Geoglyphs memories quest and I'm so confused

So I'm done with the Geoglyphs quest - i.e. collected all the memories that the geoglyphs around Hyrule hold + found the last tear in the spiral region at Akkala + even grabbed the Master Sword from dragon Zelda's head (which gave me the last memory #18). But I don't really know what comes next? Impa has all but disappeared from the face of Hyrule, and even though it's clear as day that the yellow dragon circling Hyrule is Zelda, your interactions with Purah or any of the other characters doesn't change either and there's no quest to try to change Zelda back into human form. The quest marker "Find Zelda" still remains. Am I missing something?? At this point I think I've finished quite a substantial part of the game, so I'm ok with spoilers in the answers.
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2023.06.05 08:15 philhov Board game cons — What am I missing?

I’ve been in the hoppy for about six years, but my schedule never allowed me to attend a board game con until this spring. It was a relatively small first-time event that ran from Friday-Sunday. I only attended Friday.
I think I had some pretty low expectations going into it. I was looking for an opportunity to play some games that I don’t own and to have an experienced player teach me how to play. I signed for three scheduled games and watched videos of each days before the con so that I wasn’t going into any game totally cold.
Game #1 was Downforce, a racing game. It’s a pretty simple game, so everything went smoothly. This was my most positive experience of the day.
Game #2 was Tales of the Arabian Nights. I like games with narrative elements, but I can’t call this thing a game. It’s an activity. Results of your decisions are completely random and their is no way to improve your skill. But that’s a review of the game rather than the Con. The person who was supposed to teach this game was also covering a different game at another table, so the one person at our table who had ever played it before stepped up to teach it — by reading the rulebook to us. With six players and a teach that ran way too long, we were nowhere near the end of the game when our scheduled time was over.
Game #3 was Beyond the Sun. Our moderator for this game didn’t play with us (four first-time players), but he stepped us through the first couple of turns before he got pulled away to manage the game library. He wandered past a couple of times, allowing us to ask some questions.
I paid $30 for my one-day pass. Each game was played at the maximum player count, which in my experience is rarely the best player count. The game rooms were fairly loud. Except for Game #1, the person assigned to teach an oversee the games wasn’t present most of the time.
So is this normal or did I just cut my teeth on a really poorly run Con? Because I’ve got to tell you, I did not enjoy myself.
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2023.06.05 08:14 jamienh1984 Am I being stalked?

*1. Back story, & relative info * Ex bf (36) & I (38) broke up on Christmas day. Throughout the 2 years of dating, he was violent with me 3 separate incidents, Christmas being the last time. He & I never lived together, however he lives up the street from me. I am situated on a dead end, & he is up the road, past the 4way stop sign. Our children are the same age & they are still friends. *2. Incidents in question *
Immediately after I broke up with him, he continued to call, text, & randomly show up to my house. He would say he's changed, & I rejected his request to get back together. After the advances stopped he tried to be the good samaritan, by coming to my house to tell me my tire looked low, or offer to take my kids with his kids to do things. In February, he randomly showed up, insisted that he run errands with me. I was scared to say no face to face. When he left, so that I could get ready, I called him explaining plans changed. Over the phone he begged me to let him drive me where I needed to go, & I declined. Less than 5 minutes later, he walked into my house, & went to my bedroom, where I was getting ready. He again begged me to let him drive me & I declined & told him he needed to get out of my house. Later that day I sent him a message saying that I wanted to have no contact with him, & he was making me feel uncomfortable. Since then, he will randomly drive down my road, turn around in my neighbors driveway & go back past my house. I've had company over, & I think since there was another vehicle in my driveway, he will drive down my dead end to see who it is. I stopped going to the local park to walk, because he started randomly showing up to the park. If I walk around the neighborhood, I will purposely avoid going down his road or near his house, but he'll randomly me as I'm walking. He's done this on 4 separate occasions. I had an old friend from hs who a man visit me & the ex bf sped past my house, peeled out in the neighbors driveway to turn around, then sped back in the direction of his home. 2 of my neighbors approached me saying that they see him driving by starting as early as 0530. Why I'm questioning the stalking allegation He has not contacted me since I asked him to stop in February He has not threatened me since we broke up I am more annoyed than scared. He is just making his presence known. Like non verbally telling me he is still here. It almost feels like intimidation but I'm angry about it, not fearful.
submitted by jamienh1984 to Stalking [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:13 Superb_Cat_9896 I (22F) have made no friends in the past year after moving across the country for college

Basically I don’t have any friends who live anywhere near me while I am attending college on the east coast. FaceTime has helpful, but past year I had some classes/work be remote and ended up literally made no friends. I would sometimes go days without speaking to anyone. I have 2 more semesters to graduate, I also know I won’t be able to get a good job once I graduate. I’m dreading going back even though I actually enjoy the actual learning for the most part.
I know the obvious answer is to just join a club lol but I still just found it hard to meet people. In general I can be ok on my own but being alone this much feels a bit much even for me.
submitted by Superb_Cat_9896 to offmychest [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:13 w-s-x Suddenly spending a lot of time in my head and being unproductive. Is this an existential crisis? Do I push it aside, or do I roll with it?

Unsure of which flair to use, correct me if it doesn’t fit.
Usually I’m a very active person, and always have something going on in my life. I work towards personal goals - athletic, academic, and otherwise - and am the type to decline invitations to do things because my schedule is cramped and I have to get up at 6 in the morning.
This past year has been very different for seemingly no reason whatsoever. Although I still have goals that I work towards, I seem to have become more absent-minded. Usually I’m almost exclusively future-focused, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the past. I also can’t seem to stop thinking about my values, what I truly want, what kind of person I would like to be, and if I’m a “good” person. I find that this hampers my normally quick decision making process, and I often find myself in analysis-paralysis.
Although I don’t feel bad or unhappy per se, it’s as if things have ground to a halt. Most of my life I’ve known exactly what I wanted, but nowadays there’s a hesitancy to everything I do. I find myself missing my “go, go, go!” days, but at the same time I’m hesitant to force myself back into “shark mode”. I don’t even know why I feel hesitant about it, I just do, which is in itself uncharacteristic of me. I don’t usually base my decisions on how I feel. What makes it all worse is that I don’t even know what this feeling is.
In a lot of ways I resemble my closest friend these days. We’re polar opposites in a lot of ways. Their head is in the clouds, they reflects on their values a lot, and they’re a true phlegmatic. The difference is this is their preferred state of being, whereas I’m not a fan. I value their idealism and I enjoy thinking in abstracts as well, but at the end of the day my focus is on putting my plans into action by engaging with the real world.
Has any of you gone through something similar? If so, how did you handle it? Do you know what caused it? How long did it last, and did something good come out of it? Did you do something in particular to increase your returns from whatever this is?
Edit: I figured you’d like to know my friend’s MBTI. It’s INFP.
submitted by w-s-x to entj [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:13 rubix44 Lauricidin Monolaurin experience after 2 months

I decided to try these Lauricidin Monolaurin pellets. I had taken monolaurin supplements a few different times in the past with no benefits, but the monolaurin capsules were I think 600mg of monolaurin, while a scoopful of lauricidin pellets are 3000mg of monolaurin, so I thought I'd give it try since it's a much larger dose, feeling as miserable as I have for so long (been over 3 & 1/2 years now since my EBV reactivated).
What does monolaurin do for EBV?
Monolaurin is an extract of Lauric Acid from coconut. It acts against any encapsulated virus, like the flu virus, Epstein-Barr, cytomegalovirus, and others by dissolving the outer membrane that protects the virus. Without protection, your immune system can easily mount a defense against the virus.
The first week was rough, even starting slowly (half a scoop a day), my fatigue got worse and I felt some achyness muscle soreness not unlike a flu or a fever. I thought this might be a good sign, perhaps indicating viral die-off (herx reaction), so I continued and steadily increased my dosage. I think 2 scoops a day is the highest I ever got. But the big question: did it help?
No, at least not yet (I'm almost out of it, and don't plan to re-order, though). It definitely has some kind of effect on EBV, but I don't think it's necessarily a good effect. The one positive is my spleen has gone down in size. An enlarged spleen is common with an active EBV infection, and mine was uncomfortable, particularly when sleeping, I had to avoid sleeping on my left side at all. But the downside is muscle soreness and body pain has seemingly increased, and I am not getting any restful sleep at all, despite sleeping long hours. What I suspect happened (based on nothing scientific and only my best uneducated guess) is that the Monolaurin can "shake up" or agitate the EBV, but doesn't actually help to reduce viral load or symptoms. The EBV was probably mostly hanging out in my spleen (seems to be the main hub/home for EBV and where it likes to hang out). So the EBV was maybe chased out of my spleen, and started to attack my whole body more (lots of inflammation), and my fatigue/energy level has not improved. Still feeling miserable from EBV.
So for me, I'm just going to add it to the long list of supplements/vitamins that did not help, but maybe for others it could be different, who knows. You can search the amazon reviews for epstein-barr or EBV and see what people say about it, some will say it helped them, others will say no improvement. I suspect the latter is much more likely.
I am going to have my EBV levels checked later this month, but I don't expect any major changes based on how I feel.
submitted by rubix44 to EBV [link] [comments]

2023.06.05 08:12 Alternative_Damage98 30 days

30 days
Yo community, bless you all. I will make a quick note of how this 30 days went. I’m 25 years old now. Long time lurker.
The past 30 days I did nofap/SR were really productive. I had a lot of energy to workout almost everyday and sometimes twice a day (morning cardio, evening weight lifting/boxing).
Also I sense everything on a deeper level, I feel more deeply and am more stoic at the same time. I feel more connected to people around me and I want to give off a good vibe/energy to everyone. Sometimes telepathic things happen. I think about something/someone and couple minutes later it happens or a similarity, or someone hits me up who I thought about. Feels strange, but also nice to know that everyone/everything is connected.
I help my parents a lot because my dad can’t walk cause of surgery. I also work 50-60 hours a week and meditate 15-20 minutes everyday. This all gives me energy and happiness, productivity/action is the best! Take action fellas.
This is the first time I went 30 days, I knew about SNoFap since 2019. First real attempt was 2021. Had a rough time back then, depressed and all. Lots of changes did occur and it felt like the dark side never ended. Went to rehab and got clean. Still smoke some weed occasionally which I don’t want to anymore cause it feels low vibrational.
So now 2023 I’m finally one month focusing on myself and not on woman or other people, I feel there comes a lot of positive changes on this path so I’m determined to do the whole year. Also my girlfriend is a long time/distance away from me, I see her in January 2024. I see this as an opportunity to work on myself and be the best version I can be.
It’s not only nofap/sr, u got to put in the work and transmute the energy in a way that benefits you: work/sports/meditation/yoga/nature. Also try to follow the sun. Sun up, be up. Sun down, lay down.
I did my best to summarize some good points and give you some motivation to keep going and keep growing. Level up everyday.
submitted by Alternative_Damage98 to Semenretention [link] [comments]