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We always want our life to be free from worries but how can we make it possible. Generally, it is never so easy for a person to keep life free from troubles. If a person wants things to be better for them then they can definitely use vashikaran. It is powerful magic that can be easily used to make things better. BoyFriend Control Vashikaran Specialist Baba Ji +91 7737015003
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Expressing love from time to time is an attempt to get your love back because he is the only person in your heart. It is never too late or too early to express your love, it always comes with a feeling of love and condensation, and it is not just a matter of saying those words to your soul mate by meeting the spirits in heaven. make happy It is not a big deal to express the love that your life partner thinks to meet two soul mates and make a happy family. BoyFriend Control Vashikaran Specialist Baba Ji
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हम हमेशा चाहते हैं कि हमारा जीवन चिंताओं से मुक्त हो लेकिन हम इसे कैसे संभव बना सकते हैं। आमतौर पर किसी व्यक्ति के लिए जीवन को परेशानियों से मुक्त रखना इतना आसान कभी नहीं होता है। यदि इसका व्यक्ति चाहता है कि चीजें उनके लिए बेहतर हों तो वे निश्चित रूप से वशीकरण का उपयोग कर सकते हैं। यह शक्तिशाली जादू है जिसे आसानी से चीजों को बेहतर बनाने के लिए इस्तेमाल किया जा सकता है। बहुत से लोग वशीकरण विशेषज्ञ ज्योतिषी के पास आते हैं, Love Problem Solution By Vashikaran Baba Ji
उनका इसमें बहुत बड़ा नाम है और उन्होंने लोगों को प्रभावी उपाय प्रदान करके उनकी सेवा की है। इसका उपयोग करने और अपने जीवन को बेहतर बनाने के लिए एक व्यक्ति होना अच्छा है। वशीकरण विशेषज्ञ होने के नाते उन्होंने लोगों को इसका इस्तेमाल करवाया ताकि वे अपने जीवन की सभी चिंताओं को समाप्त कर सकें। Love Breakup Problem Solution Baba Ji

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जो एक निश्चित अवधि के लिए उनके सामने है, एक अनपढ़ तकनीक जो किसी व्यक्ति के विचारों को नियंत्रित कर सकती है? यह कुछ ही है और कमजोर दिमाग के साथ खेलता है। कमजोर और कमजोर दिमाग वाले लोगों को लग सकता है कि उनके साथ छेड़छाड़ की गई है, लेकिन वशीकरण के माध्यम से किसी व्यक्ति के दैनिक जीवन को प्रभावित करना संभव नहीं है।

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यह अच्छा है और यह उन पर प्रभावी ढंग से काम करता है। जब लोग अपनी हर समस्या का वांछित समाधान प्राप्त करते हैं, तो वे स्वयं को धन्य महसूस करते हैं। एक व्यक्ति के लिए इसका उपयोग करना और चीजों को अच्छी तरह से बनाना अच्छा है।

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We always want our life to be free from worries but how can we make it possible. Generally, it is never so easy for a person to keep life free from troubles. If a person wants things to be better for them then they can definitely use vashikaran. It is powerful magic that can be easily used to make things better. Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra Specialist Baba Ji +91 7737015003
Many people come to the Vashikaran specialist astrologer, he has a huge name in this and he has served the people by providing them with effective remedies.
It’s good to be the one person to use it and improve your life. Being a vashikaran specialist, he got people to use it so that they can end all the worries of their life. Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra Specialist Baba Ji

positive magic spells for love problem solution +91 7737015003

Expressing love from time to time is an attempt to get your love back because he is the only person in your heart. It is never too late or too early to express your love, it always comes with a feeling of love and condensation, and it is not just a matter of saying those words to your soul mate by meeting the spirits in heaven. make happy It is not a big deal to express the love that your life partner thinks to meet two soul mates and make a happy family. Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra Specialist Baba Jipecialist Baba Ji
The positive love vashikaran specialist is one who knows perfectly well the astrological techniques and biological forces that make up their life, and the broader elements of the star, such as the planets and planetary positions. Affects people with different symptoms. Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra Specialist Baba Ji
And some mantras are created as a way to escape the negative energy of negativity that will guide you. Probably anything is done by a person who has feelings about it. However, when you know there’s someone out there who doesn’t like you very much; Cans and rumors can make an impact.

How does vashikaran work?

Many people believe that there are magical spells or powerful fears that can make a person behave and think according to their desires and desires. But it is always true that in this world no one can give a blow to any particular person. We all know that it is difficult to contain a strong intelligent person. Love Breakup Problem Solution Baba Ji +91 7737015003
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A well-known name in the field of astrology and vashikaran. They have created so much good for a person only after understanding their problems and making things better for them. Vashikaran specialist astrologer in India always makes a person understand how overall things can be better for a person. Their services are always very effective. Any person who wants those things to be good for them can simply take the free vashikaran solution. It is good and it works effectively on them. When people get the desired solution to their every problem, they feel blessed. It’s good for one person to use it and make things neatly. Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra Specialist Baba Ji

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हम हमेशा चाहते हैं कि हमारा जीवन चिंताओं से मुक्त हो लेकिन हम इसे कैसे संभव बना सकते हैं। आमतौर पर किसी व्यक्ति के लिए जीवन को परेशानियों से मुक्त रखना इतना आसान कभी नहीं होता है। यदि इसका व्यक्ति चाहता है कि चीजें उनके लिए बेहतर हों तो वे निश्चित रूप से वशीकरण का उपयोग कर सकते हैं। यह शक्तिशाली जादू है जिसे आसानी से चीजों को बेहतर बनाने के लिए इस्तेमाल किया जा सकता है। बहुत से लो ग वशीकरण विशेषज्ञ ज्योतिषी के पास आते हैं, Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra Specialist Baba Ji +91 7737015003
उनका इसमें बहुत बड़ा नाम है और उन्होंने लोगों को प्रभावी उपाय प्रदान करके उनकी सेवा की है। इसका उपयोग करने और अपने जीवन को बेहतर बनाने के लिए एक व्यक्ति होना अच्छा है। वशीकरण विशेषज्ञ होने के नाते उन्होंने लोगों को इसका इस्तेमाल करवाया ताकि वे अपने जीवन की सभी चिंताओं को समाप्त कर सकें। Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra Specialist Baba Ji

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वशीकरण कैसे काम करता है?

बहुत से लोग मानते हैं कि जादुई मंत्र या शक्तिशाली भय हैं जो किसी व्यक्ति को अपनी इच्छाओं और इच्छाओं के अनुसार व्यवहार करने और सोचने पर मजबूर कर सकते हैं। लेकिन यह हमेशा सच है कि इस दुनिया में किसी व्यक्ति विशेष को कोई झटका नहीं दे सकता। हम सभी जानते हैं कि एक मजबूत बुद्धिमान व्यक्ति को शामिल करना मुश्किल है। जब एक पेशेवर मनोवैज्ञानिक किसी व्यक्ति के विचारों को नियंत्रित नहीं कर सकता है, Kamdev Vashikaran Mantra Specialist Baba Ji
जो एक निश्चित अवधि के लिए उनके सामने है, एक अनपढ़ तकनीक जो किसी व्यक्ति के विचारों को नियंत्रित कर सकती है? यह कुछ ही है और कमजोर दिमाग के साथ खेलता है। कमजोर और कमजोर दिमाग वाले लोगों को लग सकता है कि उनके साथ छेड़छाड़ की गई है, लेकिन वशीकरण के माध्यम से किसी व्यक्ति के दैनिक जीवन को प्रभावित करना संभव नहीं है।

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यह अच्छा है और यह उन पर प्रभावी ढंग से काम करता है। जब लोग अपनी हर समस्या का वांछित समाधान प्राप्त करते हैं, तो वे स्वयं को धन्य महसूस करते हैं। एक व्यक्ति के लिए इसका उपयोग करना और चीजों को अच्छी तरह से बनाना अच्छा है।

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I’ll try to keep it short.
My(28f) mom(48f) has a history of selfish decisions but I feel like this is one of the bigger issues in my opinion.
Her and her husband (we’ll call him Rick) are actively getting ready to move to Hawaii. None of us (her kids, family etc) think it’s a good idea. They’re both around 50, have worked minimum wage their entire lives, have absolutely no savings at all aside from a couple thousand they put away from income tax this year, and have absolutely no game plan. Not to mention I keep hearing about how Hawaii Natives do not want people moving there. And Rick is a self centered jerk who thinks he’s better than everyone and can see him going over there and looking down on others there and it just not going over very well.
Now to the big issue.
They just put their house on the market. And I found out they purposely didn’t disclose any of the issues with their house. Everyone was told to mind their own busines, it’s their house and they’ll “do whatever they want”.
I think that’s severely messed up. There’s many “smaller” issues like the connected garage’s foundation is cracked all the way through, electrical problems/plugs that randomly overheat(?)/turn off, plumbing issues/leaky pipes. But the kicker is there is black mold all through the outer walls of both bedrooms and all through the floor in the kitchen. There are spots in the kitchen where if you step a certain way your foot will squish through what’s supposed to be a linoleum floor.
I know how toxic black mold is and I’ve heard about how ridiculously hard and expensive it is to get rid of it and how damaging it is to the property.
Well my mom and Rick are aware that if it’s known that they have black mold it’ll drastically lower the price they’ll get for the house and a bank may not even finance a loan for whoever would want to buy it, or they’ll have to pay out of pocket to fix it themselves before relisting the house.
As I said they work minimum wage and have no savings so they can’t afford to get rid of the mold, so they plan to clean up the walls in the bedrooms so that you can’t see the mold and pray to god the inspector doesn’t find the mold in the kitchen floor, and scam whoever is buying the house into buying a toxic black mold infested house.
I think that’s severely messed up and I know it’s not really my business but this just adds to the many problems I have with that mother of mine and I really want to call the realtor in charge of their listing and tell them about the problems in that house. I want to make sure she can’t take advantage of some poor person trying to buy her toxic house.
So WIBTA if I called her realtor and let them know what’s wrong with the house so that whoever buys it isn’t blindsided?
Edit: spelling

Been lurking this sub for a while! Thought I'd finally leave a post (on a throwaway, just to be safe).
So currently, I (20) live with my mom, my two younger brothers, and our two cats. I don't know if my mom qualifies as truly being an nparent, she just comes off as pathetic to me. Anyway, I'm the result of a teen pregnancy and as such, my entire life has been completely unstable and really unfair. We all used to live with my ndad, but he was extremely verbally and mentally abusive to everyone around him, especially my mom and myself. They'd argue a lot and he'd run off in a hurry, and my mom would turn to me to be her emotional support. My memory of my entire childhood gets hazier by the day (repression is doing its wonders), but I do remember that my mom would sometimes leave with him to help him with his body building shows without telling me. This often left me to fend for myself and act as a sort of parent to my brothers. The only thing I remember from this is the absolute fear and dread of everything. My mom had this mentality that the world outside is scary and there's kidnappers in every corner, and my grandma would turn this up to 11 by going on and on about how there's rapists everywhere and they all want me specifically and that my only safety is at home. Due to this, I've grown up extremely sheltered and feel very powerless.
Skip some years and in 2016, my mom made the grand decision to move me and my brothers all to live with my grandma to get away from my dad. Her decision was SUPER rash, as we basically moved out within the same day as the pair had an argument (the argument was over me making a joke to my dad. He asked me to put a plate into the sink and I jokingly said,"I didn't sign up to be a slave". He immediately followed up with "I didn't sign up for you to be born"). At my grandma's house, everything was somehow worse. With my mom's decision, we had basically lost everything. All my toys at the time were gone (I was 13 and had an entire collection of littlest pet shop toys that I loved dearly. All gone except for 1 I hold onto to this day), half my clothes were gone, we were essentially 1 step up from being homeless (living with grandma), and we didn't even have a washing machine. My mom had to keep spraying our clothes with Tide Febreze spray, because she didn't even have enough quarters for the laundromat. The entire ordeal sucked. It wasn't helping that my grandma was absolutely god-awful.
EVERYTHING I did was wrong. I didn't microwave food correctly ("you're too messy"), I couldn't get cold water correctly ("you're lazy for not putting the water jug in the freezer!"), can't eat correctly ("you act like you never ate before!"), can't use the shower correctly ("you get water everywhere"), can't do anything right. My mom was still using me as a therapist, complaining about how wrong her life had gone. We had a cat at this point and he was my last fragment of sanity. I came home (ha... "home") one day and my mom had gotten rid of the cat while I was away because she KNEW I'd freak out if I saw her do it. I couldn't even say goodbye, and my grandma's first reaction to my crying was to mock me and laugh about how the cat probably died (fortunately he didn't, he was put into a shelter and he was adopted by an old lady within a week). At some point I completely broke and started screaming about how much I wanted to die, and my grandma's response was to mock me for it. She told me that she'd help me kill myself if I was so serious, talking about how she'd get a rope and tie it just for me. My mom even joined in, telling me she'd help me buy a gun so I can shoot myself. That entire scene is burned into my brain and it still really hurts.
Eventually we moved out and my mom finally took her spot as the antagonist of my life, because why not? Fortunately, this time period is way less eventful. Mostly just screaming, yelling, throwing me against a closet door and continuously throwing me back whenever I tried to walk away, her abusing the two new cats we adopted (we still have them now) and me yelling at her for it which immediately resulted in her throwing me to the ground and kicking me, her constantly calling me variations of "evil" and "mean" and "stupid", her calling me unlovable and telling me that no one will ever want to hang out with me just because I didn't like the fact that she was watching that old Ssoyoung mukbang youtube channel... Y'know! Uneventful! /s
She's finally chilled out in recent years and has become exceptionally clingy instead of outright abusive... Who am I kidding? Clinginess is just her being controlling and insecure. But I feel like I'm forced to just accept that this is the best she'll ever do. My grandma, though, is still horrendous. She got pregnant with my mom when she was 18 and I swear she never grew out of high school. Anything inconvenient is a personal attack, me wanting to be alone ever means I hate her altogether (happens often. I'm an introvert, have severe social anxiety, and am a massive loner), and if I don't do everything she says exactly as she wants me to in that exact moment, I'm evil. Just today, she said I'm exactly like my dad just because I didn't say "bye" to my brother who's leaving for 3 months to help our granduncle with his cleaning job. This same brother has ALSO said I'm exactly like my dad in the past because... I yelled at my mom for kicking one of our cats. Always evil, always bad, always a carbon copy of my dad, all for the most innocuous of things. I've had two therapists in the last couple years who I've been spilling all this to (first guy left the practice, hence why I had two), and I find it interesting that both of their reactions had spanned from very confused to very concerned whenever I tell these events. (I sure do wonder who's in the wrong here! /s)
I'm so tired of living here. I go to therapy every other week, and only in therapy did I learn that all of what my family has done to me is abuse, not love. Only in therapy did I learn that it's NOT normal for your family to insult you. It's not normal for your mom and grandma to make you their therapist, then treat you like dirt the moment you do something they don't like. It's not normal to be told that it's "greedy" to eat more than once a day and that you deserve to starve for running out of food (even though your mom only shops for groceries for 3 kids once every 2 weeks), leading to you to be VERY likely to develop an eating disorder in the near future. It's not normal for that same mother to then turn around and yell at you for not eating enough and tell everyone that you're anorexic, when she's the one who put you in this mess in the first place. It's not normal for your mom to fail to teach you essential life skills despite you asking repeatedly because you're "too young" and "have always been a little slow" but then immediately relent when someone else questions why you can't do said essential life skills (I couldn't do laundry until I was 18, I couldn't cook until I was 19, and I'm only set to get my driver's license now at 20). It's not normal to truly believe that you don't deserve compliments because you're too unlovable and anyone who says otherwise is lying, and it's not normal to treated like you're 10 one minute, but then be threatened to be kicked out the millisecond you do something wrong because, after all, "you're an adult!!". I'm always evil, never good. And it's only ever this family who says this, the couple friends I've managed to pull together say the exact opposite things about me. Isn't it funny how that works? Always horrible to the family, but everyone outside thinks you're great... It's not fair, man.
I'm really. Really tired. I'm currently in college full-time, living at home strictly to save money (it'd suck to move out and have to come back because student loan debt was worse than I thought). My brother (same one that insulted me), aunt, and grandma keep nagging for me to get a job and buy groceries for the family or pay rent because I'm a horrible selfish person or something (Surprisingly, this is one of the few things my mom backs me up on. She's completely fine with me focusing on college and tells everyone else to mind their business).
I can't work full-time while attending school, I could never handle the stress. I can only wait until I graduate, get a full-time job, save money, then leave. It also has to be in that exact rigid structure, I will freak out if it isn't (another problem I should probably get checked, hooray). I want to move to a state that's 2,300+ miles away (from Ohio to Washington). I've envisioned an entire life for myself there, complete with having my own found family. I don't need this family, I want one where people actually love and care about me. I want to get more therapy so I can properly heal. I want to get a dog, I want to be able to go outside without fear, I want to have lots of small pets who'll be properly cared for and loved. I've been questioning lately if I could even be trans, I want to find specialized therapy so I can safely explore this further. I want to change my name so I can sever my ties with this family. My name only gives me grief, I want a name that screams me. I want people who'd love me no matter who I turn out to be. I want people around who'd applaud my growth instead of downing me for never being good enough. I want people who are deserving of the me I've been trying to safeguard for so many years; a hypersensitive crybaby whose interests bounce around like ping pong and is in desperate need of a hug. I just want someone to care about me. And it's not fair that I don't have this. I didn't ask for this pain, all I did was be born. What did I do to deserve this?
TL;DR: I'm really really sick of dealing with my horribly toxic family. I can't explore myself as a person and despite being in therapy, can't truly heal since I'm stuck here. I can't drive, I'm really feeling trapped. I have dreams of moving far away and never coming back, but it still feels hopeless sometimes. I know it can't be, I know I can be free, but I can't do anything until I graduate college and save some money. Really sad about it. I'm really tired and want to go home, but home doesn't exist.

I've played it again recently, and the humour, like it or not, is still pretty relevant to this day. It's not the best game in the series, though it has stuff that I really like and believe that if elements of it were in 4, 4 would be the best game in the series. I love each GTA individually based on their differences. 5 had better character interactions that made the world seem more seamless. I think though, with the way RDR2's world worked, we're likely getting an even better game world in 6. Los Santos isn't Liberty City, but LC felt big and oppressive; Los Santos feels fake and shallow, and that's exactly what they were going for. Gameplay-wise, yeah the shooting was far too arcadey; GTA 4 and RDR2, in my opinion, were much better in this regard. The shooting in 4 felt weighty, and you nearly felt every bullet and damage to the environment during shootouts; same with RDR2. 4 also gets extra points for you not having to kill every last thing you shoot at; I discovered that if you're careful enough, you can actually just wound enemies instead of outright killing them. The driving is pretty good in 5, definitely easier to stop myself from crashing and keep my car looking cool. I also love how each character has their own personal vehicle.
The story and characters:
The story is meant to be a black comedy; there's nothing wrong with that. It would be boring if they once again took on 4's angry take on modern America. Both storylines are good in what they offer, and that's simply two very very different experiences.
The opening robbery is just an absolute chef's kiss and an unusual move for Rockstar. Normally, all their games are about finding your footing, but the problem with the concept itself of the robbery is what leads to a later problem.
The characters of 5 are good, but not GREAT the way they should be. People argued that they're too shallow, only care about money, etc, as if there really needs to be some tragic story behind why the characters are the way they are. Did we forget that the game is about violent criminals? Why can't we just have Michael whose simply bored and miserable, or Trevor, who simply thrives on insanity?
Franklin is great as a concept, and what he does is great, but there's not nearly enough of it. Michael is the same, though I would argue that earlier on he gets slightly more than Franklin. Those two characters don't really get to shine properly until 2/3 of the story after Trevor comes to LS. Trevor was done perfectly. It was bad-tasted, chaotic, straight to the point, and exactly the right way to introduce him. His entire introduction in the desert is what Franklin's should have been in the hood; it should have been at least ten missions before Franklin even met Michael, and then Michael's return to thieving was too sudden as well. More characters should have been around Franklin, not just Lamar. The world-building in GTA 4 was utterly superb.
Trevor's introduction is a sudden burst of violence that plunges you headfirst into the hot landscape of his beyond-hostile world. The whole point of Trevor is that he has very valid points in just about everything he says; he's also a major hypocrite. Micahel's hipster speech is hilariously accurate; Trevor isn't really trailer trash, he chooses to live in a trailer, mostly because he doesn't value materialism and just enjoys the ride. And the way he kills Johnny in his opening scene is just perfect. Folks seem too quick to forget that these are all violent scumbags with shallow needs and wants, and not Rey Skywalker who conveniently forgets her force powers when it suits. Might I suggest for anyone who has seen The Wire, to recall a scene where a similar legendary character gets killed in the most embarrassing way imaginable, and doesn't even get a decent send-off after?
What we needed was more characters and more Simeon/hood-missions-gone-wrong missions for Franklin. Franklin gets into a massive shootout over that bike in his second mission; when has that ever happened? That should at least have been the 7th mission. That's the problem that the first robbery creates; Rockstar merely assumed that because their opening mission gets the blood pumping, we'd all be adrenaline junkies then and wouldn't be able to last without shooting anything else. Then with Michael, yeah, the introduction to his family was fine, but I would have liked more before he catches Amanda cheating. There should have been a few, slower, hilarious missions revolving around him and his family, and even the neighbour Kyle. Judging from the bar mission with Lenny in RDR2, I don't think people have a problem with slower missions, as long as they're laugh-out-loud funny. The problem with that one Yoga mission is that it's only funny after Michael and Jimmy go out. "Bullshit?! Threatening to molest your online buddies is bullshit!" Imagine missions where the DeSantas hilariously have to play happy families at various events, meanwhile, all the shit with Jimmy and the boat and Tracey with the porno guys happens, and it all culminates with Amanda sleeping with the tennis coach. Then the return to crime happens.
Everything else following the first robbery is fine; I would have liked a bigger feeling of entrapment when Michael is stuck in the desert with Trevor. The story doesn't have the intensity of 4 because it's literally not supposed to, and this is only a problem depending on what you're looking for. Devin Weston as a villain is not meant to be compelling; he's meant to be an irritating, smug prick, and a stand-in for corporate figures. Again, the story is a black comedy, with satire at its very core instead of it being merely world-dressing. After all, the Devin/Michael beef literally stems from a corporate problem that hilariously gets out of hand and causes a PA to get gruesomely killed. Stretch should have been featured more; there also should have been more phone calls between Trevor and the Chinese. The feud with the O'Neill brothers was hilarious.
What I will say, however, is that the endings were terrible, and the shift in tone for options A and B was completely misguided. Rockstar should have just stuck with the one option, which was C, or at least give us a solid reason for needing to kill Trevor or Michael, and not just the FIB or Devin Weston as a reason. I know it's great to have a choice but to have a black comedy that's hilariously loose on the crime-is-bad cliche suddenly introduce that crime-is-bad cliche is just jarring. 4 had used this cliche from the moment it even began and kept it consistent, and it was in TLAD, and in TBOGT, only in the latter DLC, Rockstar managed to justify Luis and Tony getting out of everything, though I've read that originally, you had the option of killing Gay Tony.
Anyway, here's my Ted Talk about 5. Can't wait for the downvotes.

(This is a nonviolent text.)
Life! Exclamation point! Today’s speaker is made of clock parts and possesses encyclopedic knowledge about the nature of natural life. Life! Exclamation point! Though biographies in the back of conference programs won’t ever tell the whole story, they tempt us with the true face of authority. Today’s speaker – Life! – is made of clock parts, probably a grandfather clock to begin with, young for its age, but then he started slapping on extra clock parts, moved by an urge he couldn’t explain, until the function of tolling the hour was more of a hobby, a weekend pass-time, compare to what all those precision instruments were up to on a regular basis. As a vision on stage, the speaker’s machinations were there for all to see – the whirring of gears and belts, the clanking of chains. Where his heart chakra was thought to manifest, swung a pendulum.
The nature of natural life is not an easy expertise to build a vocation around – Life! Exclamation point! – but what a sentence to say aloud. At this point in the address, one of the speaker’s mainsprings uncoils where his belly button would normally be. He uses the longer of his hands to poke it back into place without breaking stride, continues: What is a natural life? More to the point, what is a natural lifespan? Who better to know than me! He points to himself when he says this, does a quick spin in place, revealing the dozens of differently styled clock faces that cover the surface of his body, continues: I’m after the author’s natural lifespan, like to pretend I’m playing along, but the whole time, I’m thinking about his natural lifespan. Hmm, hmm, I wonder why? Ha! // The author changes the subject – today’s speaker thinks of something else.
When you discover someone living an unnatural lifespan, you seek to find out why. Not that the reason is the point – not by a longshot – but call me curious. Maybe they tripped at the right moment and tumbled past the grave. Maybe they did a few extra calisthenics before the cock crowed. Or – perish the thought – they succumbed to an unholy pact at a vulnerable moment. I have taken it upon myself to sniff them out – and when he says this, the regulators above his eyes both arch significantly. And what then? We usually have a quiet chat before I recite my speech and complete my visit. It isn’t personal, I begin – time sometimes wells up, spills over its banks, and floods the village. If we could avoid such catastrophe, we should – don’t you agree? The time nature intends, through natural lifespans, would never, let’s be honest, flood a valley.
And what, then, would I do? Proprietary information! hoots today’s speaker from the stage, does another quick spin, stage lights flickering off his crystals, his gleaming metals. About the author’s natural lifespan – oh, you thought I’d forgotten! Were you 18 when you first died? Had it happened before then? Were you but a child under-supervised? Under-supervision-ed, we might say. Remember the day? You rode a toy out into the street, and a car’s front bumper rushed forward to kiss you on the left side of your head, the temple, a stone flung by the age of automobiles. Don’t you remember? Of course you do – the passionate screeching of tires, as those around you stopped and turned to look, surprise gradually replaced by horror at what they knew happened but couldn’t bear to see. You thought you survived – didn’t you? – but thereafter, what appeared on your left temple? A knotted cist so prominent, people stopped you and asked what happened. You saw exactly two physicians over the next 10 years, both telling you not to worry about it, and so you didn’t. You didn’t! When you probed the spot with your fingers, it felt like a rounded room, a shelter built by something trying to survive. As for that 18-year-old involved in that off-road motor vehicle accident – nominee number two, let’s call it – true, you were far more aware of mortality by then, but your own? You climbed aboard a 3-wheeled vehicle that could travel at more than 50mph, completely lacking a seatbelt, headrest, or protective frame – without a helmet, boots, or jacket – and the brakes were less than half there that fateful day, a means of slowing down – a vehicle that would be rendered illegal to operate within a matter of years of the accident . . . the accident . . . remember the accident? August, you were traveling off-road to do farm work, the cornfield you were riding beside with several rows chopped out for silage, and on impulse, you decided to turn into the field to see where it went, then really opened her up because of the green blur of all that corn. Did you secretly expect the drainage ditch? Was this more of a suicide mission? Over the side you went, face first into the opposite bank, and if anyone was wondering – the effect was not of pain but of the lights going out all at once. Imagine the nature of reality that allows for: the inevitability of the crash, followed by all the lights going out – this is really happening – followed by some utterly absent experience, like a film editor cutting in a blankness where reality normally insists scenes of existence should be. The film projectionist would have been instructed to fast-forward through this part of the film, such that no time seems to pass, and the next thing we know, he is trying to push a 3-wheeler out of a drainage ditch. That thing weighing more than he does, and he’s trying to heave it above his head, up and out of the drainage ditch. What had he become? What time-wise tricks were in play? He finally gave up trying to free torment from its channel, staggered through the field toward the truck, face covered in blood, never went to the hospital. When the story is recounted later by his dad, the story became how dad fixed the 3-wheeler by prying the front wheel out of the frame with his truck and a chain. Can you imagine that chain now? They called it a log chain, and the links were cast iron. It was completely covered in rust.
The author knows all this already, receives a spiritual visitation during the writing of the phrase suicide mission, wondering if he’s okay. Yes, he replies, knowing this particular metaphysical weather report has a lot of ground to cover. Today’s guest speaker picks at one of his stems in a distracted way, lets the matter rest, inquires about whether – uh-hum! – he might be permitted to carry on. The author gets up, refills his coffee, returns to one of the picnic tables arrayed in front of the derelict peace church where he lives. He is surrounded by millions of individual affirmations of life, many of which are visibly in bloom or going to seed. A bumble bee flies by. A yellowish bug with zigzags on either side ambles up, its antennae twice as long as its body, tapping at the world in front of it. Among the local insect population, it’s regarded as a savant.
Uh-hum! How many more brushes with death would the author experience before it finally took? There was the time a few years later, same farm but different brother, taking turns firing a handgun at a target. This would be the last time he would fire a gun for any reason, was it not? They climb into the brother’s wedge-shaped sports car, named after the grasping part of a bird of prey, and into fate’s hands did fly. The car was totaled, the two of them, without seatbelts or airbags, unhurt inside the crumpled remnants of the crash, mere inches from winding up once more inside drainage infrastructure, this one built by municipal authority, and therefore of a substance that would have been altogether worse on an unsuspecting traveler headed straight down. Yes, you might have been saved from becoming the remains of the day – but by what?
The child who caused the crash, the one who pulled out in front of that bird of prey, barely old enough to drive, who had two younger passengers inside with him, taking them out for ice cream maybe – that young driver sat nearby while police sorted out the story. He was crying on the side of the road like he would never stop, like he had identified the crash as the latest in a series of personal failings that would stretch into the future of his adulthood like a hot blacktop road and which, at every stop along the way, tragic suffering would be the font of consolation. Was this the way reality was supposed to work? The author recognized the boy as himself at an earlier age, bent down beside him, put a hand on his shoulder, and said, you will be okay. No one was hurt, and the rest can be replaced – your heart is true, and your soul will find its relief.
Ah, yes, the crash, says the author – ah, yes, the crash. Ah, yes, the crash, says the author – ah, yes, the crash. Ah, yes, the crash, says the author – ah, yes, the crash. The late days of spring may be the most forgotten of the year. If we aren’t anticipating summer – it’s still spring? – then we’re longing for those moments when the world was still opening its mouth, and then its eyes, and then its hands. The trees are all open by now, those late-arriving sycamores even filling out their leaves, such that the twigs and branches are all mildly bowed by the extra weight. After spring assumes its labor, the rest of the season finds its dedication, and I imagine the beads of water rising through capillaries beneath the wood – call it a space program – and a sweetness spreads throughout the tubular organisms we call trees. Late spring – sweetness remembered.
Life! Exclamation point! Chronobiology knows nature has much to say about what is cyclical, when, and for how long – much less to say about the natural length of one’s existence. Is death something one develops a knack for? The next notable death in the author’s life occurred a few years later – the death that would make dying into a full-time vocation. And where again do we find the author? Beside a drain. This one introducing the age of indoor plumbing, as the author lay on the floor of a friend’s bathroom, his life flashing before his eyes, as he vomits into a toilet. This time the world does not go dark all at once but feels like fuses blowing out, like a timed demolition, flashing like a string of firecrackers across the structural frame of a building, and a voice not his own telling the author: you’ll be okay, ride it out, remain present, you’ll be okay.
Would he though? For this fourth death, another blank spot appeared, no two – two instances of nothingness, orbiting each other, during which time, during which time, during which time – perhaps language hasn’t the proper security clearance to convey the negotiations that must have taken place to bring about a return to the living. The author remembers his friend opening the bathroom door, before which she would have been knocking and calling his name. When the door struck him in the back, and he came back to life, had he landed in the place where that drain did lead? While his friend cleaned up the bathroom floor with a towel, he sat on a bed with his hands covering his face. The hideousness he’d just passed through was the abbreviated version of what was to come – he knew the drill by now. The knot on his forehead was gone.
Destiny had finally shown him to his home, gave him a tour of the place, before scraping him off the floor, then setting up a series of baffling crises – from autumn 2002 to May 2003 – that would occupy the author’s attention for decades to come. The will toward dying had finally brought the world to life, and the mind of the universe was both ecstatic and enraged about it. Down there, at the bottom of the drain, they were fighting a global war on terror, war on terror, war on terror, and if wars on terror sum up preferred formulations of self-annihilation – symbol of invocation: fighting a reflection – then perhaps the author’s presence was meant to form a mirror-in-mirror infinity from which sustainable futures would emerge. Welcome to Mirror World! Where reflectivity gives us an evolutionary future! Where a universal narrative unfolds!
The author is making me write this, I must confess, but to everyone’s surprise, I am forcing the author to make me! The author is mine! And the author wrote that, too, I must additionally confess, and the two of us go around and around like this – symbol of invocation: two snails having sex in midair. The flatness and hardness we associate with reflectivity is something we will all outgrow eventually, and the hologram of hyper-reality will appear within our being like a flying saucer, and we will all be both abductees and witnesses, shown around the universe in style. Too much to ask? The last such alien contact – the insinuation of verbal and mathematical language into the genome of big-brained primates – gave us the keys to earthly reality. We are now exiting the stone age, evolving the means to make benevolence a fixture of human life.
The author made me write that, too, and even though I am just as surely making him write this, we must admit the mutability within the fabric of reality was not won without a struggle. The author faced death 11 times that year, faced death the next year, and the year after that. Each point along the way wanted to finish what the others couldn’t, and soon death felt like an echo, and in that moment of not really distinguishing the source and the reflection – when they both look somewhat the same – he could tell life and death were likewise difficult to discern. Life! Exclamation point! Are you merely an extension of entropy? A quicker way of dissipating the heat from a rocky-bodied planetoid like the earth? And if you are, then is life really just another form of death? But death! Didn’t you show us the way? Wasn’t dying the source of the cure?
Today’s speaker made me write that, just as I made him think it. And as thoughts passed from gear to gear around his body – as cuckoos sprang forth through tiny doors at various angles – as a series of chimes and tones issued forth from the stage like the ringing of a bell, if the bell could tell time and was tolled by committee – then the river of the natural lifespan, subject of such grand speculation in a previous incarnation, could now take its course. Perhaps indeed valleys would flood, but such is the natural origin of certain fertile fields. Springtime couldn’t agree with me more, its will toward abundance glad to splay its fingers before another epic growing season. As the author considers ways to wind up this report – knowing such lived truth inspires concern – whether death equals life or life equals death, he reasserts a will toward world peace.
Peace.

I feel completely broken. Like one part gets settled then the next breaks, then the next.
I have lupus and hEDS, among a host of other things. I feel like things keep getting added to the list, and I'm just too tired to keep up with them all so I let them fester. For example, I've been fainting recently and my blood pressure is extremely low. Okay, go to cardiologist, he says it's my mental health medication causing it. He doesn't do anymore tests, psych says it's not. Okay, whatever. I'm not dead. Put it on the ignore list. Well then I got extreme chest pain when I vomited, that did not feel like heartburn at all. Primary says to go to cardiologist, I message cardiologist instead and he says it's nothing. So ignore that problem.
Then I've been getting numbness in my face on one side and other parts of my body, randomly though I can cause it by shaking my head left to right quickly for awhile. Okay, go to Neuro, Neuro says it's probably my meds. Psych lowers some meds, nothing happens. Well I'm too tired to go back to neurology. Oh look my vision is suddenly bad, and comes and goes. Eh, it will be fine.
I'm not even on any pain meds. Nothing I can buy at the store helps, but I've been too tired to fight a rhumitologist for anything because I've had bad experiences (I moved away from my good doctors who diagnoses me.).
So everything just keeps falling apart. I keep getting new symptoms and don't know what's what anymore. And instead of seeking answers I've been ignoring them because I don't feel like anyone will listen to me with these psych meds, that I need, on me. I'd switch them, but we've just now in the last 6 months found a combo that works, after two years of experimenting.
Anyways, rant over. I'm tired.

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TL;DR unsure if chronically and terminally ill friend who is suicidal is lying and taking advantage of me. Tonight I'm torn between helping her out or just save my money.
So now the long version. I have a friend who struggles a lot with depression and suicidal ideation. We been friends for 3 to 4 years. She became my friend because we related a lot and she wanted to help support me through my chronic illness since she also is chronically ill.
Lately things have been bad for us both mentally. Her only escape is technology specifically gaming. In the past I've given her money for food, games, and a few months ago a PS5 controller since she broke hers in a fit of rage. Most of all the money was given when she's in a crisis and really thinking of suicide.
Lately she's been distant and really not a helpful support. I usually just get a "Im sorry", "I feel the same way" and then nothing else unlike before where she would give me a bit more advice or more support. I've been understanding but it makes me feel like crap and kinda gives me more suspicions.
My suspicion is if she is actually as sick as she says or if I'm just being manipulated. When we first met she told me she has MS. She said she had died multiple times for various reasons. About 2 years ago she got diagnosed with aggressive lung cancer and was given 6 months. This is where I start to question stuff. One time she showed me her port and asked if it looked infected. I saw that the picture was taken in a medical setting and there was iodine so I reversed google searched it and it came up. It was from a medical journal of some sort and published years ago. There was a few other things when I asked for medical support before this that was just totally inaccurate so I was already weary but chucked it off as she just didn't know or something. Just something to note, she stated she is a psychiatrist.
She has had a lot of medical scares like multiple collapsed lungs, fluid in her lungs, covid19 three times. She's been in the ICU quite a few times or so she said. One time she texted me saying she's intubated and fought sedation so she could tell me. I didn't know if that was actually true but whatever I'm more worried about her in that moment. Until I went on discord and saw she was online and playing a game. That has happened a few other times, she states she's in really poor condition at the hospital but she gets online on discord. She also showed me a x-ray of "her" foot but I searched it again, it came up on Google, and when I told her she said she sent the wrong photo then sent another x-ray that had no injury. She always tells me I'm one of the only people keeping her here both when she's suicidal or in "critical condition". A lot of people have left her. I'm kinda alone and I have lost friends to suicide before so that fear is already in my head.
Tonight she is suicidal and in her words she's "done". She spilled water on her PS5 controller and her apple pen won't write. I'm debating if I should scrape up $70 so she can get a controller but I'm also so suspicious now. She also tells me she'll pay me back and she will pay me back when she gets her monthly paycheck but something always comes up. I don't want her to kill herself but I feel like I'm buying her to stay. I'm not made of money I'm a chronically ill 25 year old, living with her parents who also aren't made of money and currently need to be careful what we spend since my dad is still hurt from a work injury. He hasn't been getting his workman's compensation for the past few weeks. My mom works part-time but is also taking care of me so she loses a lot of hours. It's just a stressful situation. I would be going into my savings for possible medical expenses to help my friend. I feel helpless and torn. I feel awful for even doubting a friend like this.
Please help, what do I do?

I (30f) am so tired and stressed from work. I think I’m a bit depressed. My partner (35m) is kind and does 80% of the house chores and is the main cook. He’s a nice guy but he’s so logical and critical.
We been dating for 3 years. Over the last 1-2 years he’s been complaining a lot. Literally nearly every single day he’ll be complaining. Criticising me that I’m not speaking clear, saying I should sleep early, I should just drink water, telling me off for not planning my week.
Sometimes I just have to work late but I have been making very slow changes eg sleeping late but a bit earlier, drinking 3 cups of water instead of none.
I know it’s not impressive but my stress level is very high but when I finish work I’m met with expected complaints. Constant questions on why I can’t do things better. Ongoing feelings of not feeling adequate.
When I tell him this he just says I should always improve as a person and my heart sinks. And that I should be able to just sleep early and drink a lot of water anyway as a basic adult.
I just feel like I’m never enough. At the same time his points are valid. But he provides no emotional support at all. I feel drained.
Tldr: partner helps with the house and constantly provides critical feedback. Im tired and just want the emotional support he can’t provide.

I'm just contemplating embarking on the no contact journey with my partneex. I have no idea what we are anymore, but I do know that it's too much to ask me to keep hanging around waiting for him to turn his focus to me again. We are neither of us faultless, but after 3 years, I'm starting to feel tired and lonely. That shouldn't happen when I'm still in a relationship. Our highs were dizzying, as they tend to be, but our lows were tough, though mostly just empty. He would hit a depressive phase and just disappear for days, even weeks on end. It was excruciating, and the worry was unmanageable at times. He would send the occasional text, and I have to admit that those seemed to acknowledge the impact on me - he would say things like, "Hey. Just checking in. I'm okay, just doing it tough right now." but he always remained in control of us, of our time together and apart. Other times, he would ask how I was doing, and I know that at his lowest, he couldn't actually cope with the answer, but he would ask, because he wanted me to feel supported and cared for. In his way, this was the closest thing to approximating love that he could manage. A couple of times, though, he has reverted to behaving like a five year old or throwing in my face something personal that only he had been trusted with. We rarely fought, but this year, he stopped fighting fair.
I am conscious of all the things we have been through, as individuals, in this time. He lost his sister in very tragic circumstances, and his job. I have battled to keep my kids because my belligerent ex couldn't deal with my moving on (it wasn't the 'who', it was just my audacity - that I would be with anyone was highly offensive to him, and his narcissism simply wouldn't allow it - trust me, I'd take this relationship a thousand times over that one), but also gone ahead in leaps and bounds in my career - I have worked hard and been very lucky to be recognised for that so often that it made my head spin.
There's also the undeniable fact that we came into this on the back of two bad break ups and many years of friendship. It's a complicated mix that doesn't help.
So recently, I asked for a break. I actually don't want to lose him. For all of this pain, we've actually been very good for each other, and it is clear that we know each other in a way that most people never will - I know lots of people say that, but it's true. Until this year, we could be vulnerable with each other without hesitation. We have talked each other through the darkest parts of our lives and spent a thousand hours discussing the world, our thoughts, and everything that sprung to mind. But I'm not sure if I'm trying to hold on to something that is gone for good, or if his promises that he just needs some time are legitimate. He might have a condition, but his choices are still his choices. He can do the hard stuff if he chooses to. Even he recognises this as true. But if I'm not worth doing it for now, I have no reason to assume I will be later. Compassion fatigue is real, and we are both suffering it, but his capacity for compassion is lower than mine, and I don't want to keep reducing myself to avoid asking more than he has to give. He has put me first many times, and I don't expect to always be there, but I do feel like I deserve more than I currently have.
With that said, after agreeing to this break, I spent two days straight out crying. Then I reached out, because I'm in love with him, and not sure I'm ready to say goodbye. We are now two weeks in, and I've started to repair. But he has messaged me two days this week, saying he hopes I am well, and each time, I go through a whole process of evaluation before I respond. I am well. I am sad that this is where we are right now, and for the time being, a part of me still holds hope that we will do exactly what we said we would do, and return to each other when we both felt more equipped to do it, but I also can't imagine how that would look, because at the moment all I have is an urge to find my feet. Not to leave, necessarily, but to refocus on myself.
So I suppose I'm now at the stage of being desperate enough to ask strangers for their thoughts. The only jury he will ever face with me will be mine - I don't need someone to tell me what to do. I love this man, and will not walk away unless I feel 100% convinced that it is what I need to do. But I could use your thoughts to evaluate my own, to check my working, so to speak. On the one hand, I'm not sure we need to go no contact, provided that his texts don't become toxic. But on the other, I don't want to stand around waiting for the water to become undrinkable. I did float the idea of monthly date, to keep us alive whilst we work on things, but I don't know if that's a bad idea or not. Maybe I won't know until we've tried. The only thing I feel confident in right now is that things will never be vastly different from the way they are now. He will always be this person. He has changed a lot, in small ways, but he will always be a little aloof, he'll always be occasionally unreachable. Am I okay with that, or am I seeking something more?
Finally, I do wonder if I have to know? Is it okay to accept that there aren't answers for some of these questions? I am also neurodivergent, and unknowns are something I can generally only accept if I can keep them at a distance. A huge part of me feels the need for a decision, to stay or to go. To end, or to fight. But another part reminds me that I need time too, and I might stand half a chance of getting it (whatever it is?) right if I just leave things to play out how they may.
E.

not sure how I broke it but I did Unhandled exception "EXCEPTION_ACCESS_VIOLATION" at 0x7FF72EB6B6FE SkyrimSE.exe+05EB6FE movss xmm2, dword ptr [rax+0xF0]
SYSTEM SPECS:

OS: Microsoft Windows 11 Home v10.0.22621 CPU: GenuineIntel Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-8700 CPU @ 3.20GHz GPU #1: Nvidia TU104 \[GeForce RTX 2080\] GPU #2: Microsoft Basic Render Driver PHYSICAL MEMORY: 19.43 GB/31.88 GB 

PROBABLE CALL STACK:

\[0\] 0x7FF72EB6B6FE SkyrimSE.exe+05EB6FE -> 36561+0x9E movss xmm2, dword ptr \[rax+0xF0\] \[1\] 0x7FF72EB6A928 SkyrimSE.exe+05EA928 -> 36559+0xD8 mov r15, rax \[2\] 0x7FF72EB6A822 SkyrimSE.exe+05EA822 -> 36558+0x122 nop \[3\] 0x7FF72EB6A46D SkyrimSE.exe+05EA46D -> 36555+0x4CD cmp dword ptr \[0x00007FF7304D7408\], 0x02 \[4\] 0x7FF72EB6CCD7 SkyrimSE.exe+05ECCD7 -> 36564+0xA97 test r15b, r15b \[5\] 0x7FF72EB64DD5 SkyrimSE.exe+05E4DD5 -> 36544+0x165 test bl, bl \[6\] 0x7FF72F9F4C1E SkyrimSE.exe+1474C1E -> 109636+0x106 mov ebx, eax \[7\] 0x7FFC50BA26AD KERNEL32.DLL+00126AD \[8\] 0x7FFC51E8A9F8 ntdll.dll+005A9F8 

REGISTERS:

RAX 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] RCX 0x2231FDE7040 (PlayerCharacter\*) Flags: 0x00000408 kPersistent Name: "Prisoner" FormID: 0x00000014 FormType: ActorCharacter (62) Flags: 0x00000408 kPersistent Name: "Prisoner" FormID: 0x00000014 FormType: ActorCharacter (62) Object Reference: File: "Skyrim.esm" Flags: 0x00040009 kDestructible kInitialized Name: "Prisoner" FormID: 0x00000007 FormType: NPC (43) Flags: 0x00000408 kInitialized kPersistent FormID: 0x00000014 FormType: ActorCharacter (62) RDX 0x5F8 (size\_t) \[1528\] RBX 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RSP 0x99E7CFF760 (void\*) RBP 0x99E7CFF879 (void\*) RSI 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RDI 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" R8 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] R9 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] R10 0x7F882696 (size\_t) \[2139629206\] R11 0x99E7CFF7B0 (void\*) R12 0x22270B3AC00 (Main\*) R13 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] R14 0x22268247601 (void\*) R15 0x768 (size\_t) \[1896\] 

STACK:

\[RSP+0 \] 0x339D3D4134662335 (size\_t) \[3719196217539175221\] \[RSP+8 \] 0x3F800000 (size\_t) \[1065353216\] \[RSP+10 \] 0xBE0D4C50BECECE4C (size\_t) \[uint: 13694685951585865292 int: -4752058122123686324\] \[RSP+18 \] 0xC5CCA9FF3F678214 (size\_t) \[uint: 14252953834466279956 int: -4193790239243271660\] \[RSP+20 \] 0xBE0D4C50BECECE4C (size\_t) \[uint: 13694685951585865292 int: -4752058122123686324\] \[RSP+28 \] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+30 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+38 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+40 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+48 \] 0x768 (size\_t) \[1896\] \[RSP+50 \] 0x22268247601 (void\*) \[RSP+58 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+60 \] 0x22270B3AC00 (Main\*) \[RSP+68 \] 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" \[RSP+70 \] 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" \[RSP+78 \] 0x99E7CFF879 (void\*) \[RSP+80 \] 0x6 (size\_t) \[6\] \[RSP+88 \] 0x7FF72EB6A928 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+05EA928 mov r15, rax) \[RSP+90 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+98 \] 0xC1702D083F801804 (size\_t) \[uint: 13938690360160032772 int: -4508053713549518844\] \[RSP+A0 \] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+A8 \] 0x3F800000 (size\_t) \[1065353216\] \[RSP+B0 \] 0x80000000BF800000 (size\_t) \[uint: 9223372040067612672 int: -9223372033641938944\] \[RSP+B8 \] 0x8000000080000000 (size\_t) \[uint: 9223372039002259456 int: -9223372034707292160\] \[RSP+C0 \] 0xBE0755EE80000000 (size\_t) \[uint: 13693007674881343488 int: -4753736398828208128\] \[RSP+C8 \] 0xBF7DC11D (size\_t) \[3212689693\] \[RSP+D0 \] 0x3F7DC11D80000000 (size\_t) \[4575025128923987968\] \[RSP+D8 \] 0x80000000BE0755EE (size\_t) \[uint: 9223372040042927598 int: -9223372033666624018\] \[RSP+E0 \] 0x8000000000000000 (size\_t) \[uint: 9223372036854775808 int: -9223372036854775808\] \[RSP+E8 \] 0x3F80000000000000 (size\_t) \[4575657221408423936\] \[RSP+F0 \] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+F8 \] 0x7FF72F49A776 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0F1A776 mov rdx, \[rdi+0x28\]) \[RSP+100\] 0x2 (size\_t) \[2\] \[RSP+108\] 0xBF7DC11C80000000 (size\_t) \[uint: 13798397161483796480 int: -4648346912225755136\] \[RSP+110\] 0x3DAA5A4C80000000 (size\_t) \[4443463266965913600\] \[RSP+118\] 0xBE0755EF80000000 (size\_t) \[uint: 13693007679176310784 int: -4753736394533240832\] \[RSP+120\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+128\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+130\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+138\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+140\] 0x768 (size\_t) \[1896\] \[RSP+148\] 0x22268247670 (void\*) \[RSP+150\] 0x768 (size\_t) \[1896\] \[RSP+158\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+160\] 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" \[RSP+168\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+170\] 0x22270B3AC00 (Main\*) \[RSP+178\] 0x7FF72EB6A822 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+05EA822 nop) \[RSP+180\] 0x2 (size\_t) \[2\] \[RSP+188\] 0x7FF700000000 (size\_t) \[140698833649664\] \[RSP+190\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+198\] 0x7FF700000000 (size\_t) \[140698833649664\] \[RSP+1A0\] 0x3F800000 (size\_t) \[1065353216\] \[RSP+1A8\] 0x7FF72EE421FE (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+08C21FE cmp \[0x00007FF731567A08\], eax) \[RSP+1B0\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+1B8\] 0x2231FE0C880 (BSShaderAccumulator\*) \[RSP+1C0\] 0x2231FA78480 (NiCamera\*) RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController \[RSP+1C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+1D0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+1D8\] 0x7FF72EB6A46D (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+05EA46D cmp dword ptr \[0x00007FF7304D7408\], 0x02) \[RSP+1E0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+1E8\] 0x22270B3AC00 (Main\*) \[RSP+1F0\] 0x7FF700000002 (size\_t) \[140698833649666\] \[RSP+1F8\] 0x7FF731542800 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+2FC2800 add \[rax\], al) \[RSP+200\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+208\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+210\] 0x2231FA78480 (NiCamera\*) RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController \[RSP+218\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+220\] 0x99E7CFF950 (void\*) \[RSP+228\] 0x7FF700000020 (size\_t) \[140698833649696\] \[RSP+230\] 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" \[RSP+238\] 0x20 (size\_t) \[32\] \[RSP+240\] 0x22268247DD8 (void\*) \[RSP+248\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+250\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+258\] 0x7FF700000000 (size\_t) \[140698833649664\] \[RSP+260\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+268\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+270\] 0x9 (size\_t) \[9\] \[RSP+278\] 0x7FF72F2FD700 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0D7D700 test al, al) \[RSP+280\] 0x22337EA9DE0 (BSPortalGraph\*) \[RSP+288\] 0xFFFFFFFF (size\_t) \[4294967295\] \[RSP+290\] 0x22229181A00 (BSGeometryListCullingProcess\*) \[RSP+298\] 0x3 (size\_t) \[3\] \[RSP+2A0\] 0x2234EC0E5C0 (BSMultiBoundRoom\*) RTTIName: "BSMultiBoundRoom" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw Checking Parent: 7 RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound Checking Parent: 7 

RTTIName: "BSMultiBoundNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 2
Name: "ObjectLODRoot"
RTTIName: "NiNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 3
Name: "shadow scene node"
RTTIName: "ShadowSceneNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 1
Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

\[RSP+2A8\] 0x7FF72E6E5E1E (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+0165E1E test rax, rax) \[RSP+2B0\] 0x2234DF6D280 (BSMultiBoundRoom\*) RTTIName: "BSMultiBoundRoom" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw Checking Parent: 2 RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound Checking Parent: 7 

RTTIName: "BSMultiBoundNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 2
Name: "ObjectLODRoot"
RTTIName: "NiNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 3
Name: "shadow scene node"
RTTIName: "ShadowSceneNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 1
Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

\[RSP+2B8\] 0x2234DF6D280 (BSMultiBoundRoom\*) RTTIName: "BSMultiBoundRoom" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw Checking Parent: 2 RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound Checking Parent: 7 

RTTIName: "BSMultiBoundNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 2
Name: "ObjectLODRoot"
RTTIName: "NiNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 3
Name: "shadow scene node"
RTTIName: "ShadowSceneNode"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound
Checking Parent: 1
Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

\[RSP+2C0\] 0x22229181A00 (BSGeometryListCullingProcess\*) \[RSP+2C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+2D0\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+2D8\] 0x3F34733200 (size\_t) \[271462904320\] \[RSP+2E0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+2E8\] 0x7FF72E830D61 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+02B0D61 mov rcx, rax) \[RSP+2F0\] 0x339D3D4100000002 (size\_t) \[3719196216660066306\] \[RSP+2F8\] 0x2 (size\_t) \[2\] \[RSP+300\] 0xBE0D4C50439D3E27 (size\_t) \[uint: 13694685949519019559 int: -4752058124190532057\] \[RSP+308\] 0xC5CCA9FF3F678214 (size\_t) \[uint: 14252953834466279956 int: -4193790239243271660\] \[RSP+310\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+318\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+320\] 0xB43D626E04AA (size\_t) \[198175737382058\] \[RSP+328\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+330\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+338\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+340\] 0x1 (size\_t) \[1\] \[RSP+348\] 0x22268247670 (void\*) \[RSP+350\] 0x22270B3AC00 (Main\*) \[RSP+358\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+360\] 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" \[RSP+368\] 0x99E7CFFB40 (void\*) \[RSP+370\] 0x2 (size\_t) \[2\] \[RSP+378\] 0x7FF72EB6CCD7 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+05ECCD7 test r15b, r15b) \[RSP+380\] 0x22270B06E80 (NiCamera\*) Name: "WorldRoot Camera" RTTIName: "NiCamera" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 Name: "WorldRoot CameraNode" RTTIName: "NiNode" Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController Checking Parent: 0 

Name: "WorldRoot Node"
RTTIName: "SceneGraph"
Flags: kSelectiveUpdate kSelectiveUpdateTransforms kSelectiveUpdateController kAlwaysDraw kFixedBound

 Name: "WorldRoot Camera" \[RSP+388\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+390\] 0x2 (size\_t) \[2\] \[RSP+398\] 0x2231FE0C880 (BSShaderAccumulator\*) \[RSP+3A0\] 0x34A (size\_t) \[842\] \[RSP+3A8\] 0x7FFB8A8920C0 (CInputHandler\*) \[RSP+3B0\] 0x2226828B110 (CSharedMemStream\*) \[RSP+3B8\] 0x7FFC502E1B8F (void\* -> USER32.dll+0021B8F nop \[rax+rax\*1\], eax) \[RSP+3C0\] 0x99E7CFFC90 (void\*) \[RSP+3C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+3D0\] 0x10 (size\_t) \[16\] \[RSP+3D8\] 0x7FFB8A7E6F9D (void\* -> gameoverlayrenderer64.dll+0096F9D test al, al) \[RSP+3E0\] 0x7FFB00000001 (size\_t) \[140716013518849\] \[RSP+3E8\] 0x200000002 (size\_t) \[8589934594\] \[RSP+3F0\] 0x99E7CFFBA9 (void\*) \[RSP+3F8\] 0x99E7CFFC90 (void\*) \[RSP+400\] 0x7FFB8A8920C0 (CInputHandler\*) \[RSP+408\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+410\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+418\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+420\] 0x2226892D900 (void\*) \[RSP+428\] 0x7FFC502E18A9 (void\* -> USER32.dll+00218A9 lea r11, \[rsp+0x40\]) \[RSP+430\] 0x3DFF (size\_t) \[15871\] \[RSP+438\] 0x3 (size\_t) \[3\] \[RSP+440\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+448\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+450\] 0x1 (size\_t) \[1\] \[RSP+458\] 0x7FFB00000003 (size\_t) \[140716013518851\] \[RSP+460\] 0x1 (size\_t) \[1\] \[RSP+468\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+470\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+478\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+480\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+488\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+490\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+498\] 0x7FFB8A7E7604 (void\* -> gameoverlayrenderer64.dll+0097604 mov rbx, \[rsp+0x40\]) \[RSP+4A0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4A8\] 0xFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFE (size\_t) \[uint: 18446744073709551614 int: -2\] \[RSP+4B0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4B8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4C0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4D0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4D8\] 0x7FF72EB64DD5 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+05E4DD5 test bl, bl) \[RSP+4E0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4E8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+4F0\] 0x4450EB4 (size\_t) \[71634612\] \[RSP+4F8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+500\] 0x1 (size\_t) \[1\] \[RSP+508\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+510\] 0xA (size\_t) \[10\] \[RSP+518\] 0x7FFC4F76F0C0 (void\* -> ucrtbase.dll+00FF0C0 push rax) \[RSP+520\] 0x22268265860 (void\*) \[RSP+528\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+530\] 0x4450EB4 (size\_t) \[71634612\] \[RSP+538\] 0x14FE (size\_t) \[5374\] \[RSP+540\] 0x138911BC (size\_t) \[327750076\] \[RSP+548\] 0x1 (size\_t) \[1\] \[RSP+550\] 0x38D0252DA1A (size\_t) \[3904164256282\] \[RSP+558\] 0x34A (size\_t) \[842\] \[RSP+560\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+568\] 0x7FF72F9F4C1E (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+1474C1E mov ebx, eax) \[RSP+570\] 0xA (size\_t) \[10\] \[RSP+578\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+580\] 0x7FF731CE7310 (void\* -> SkyrimSE.exe+3767310 call 0x00007FF731CE7315) \[RSP+588\] 0x99E7A88000 (void\*) \[RSP+590\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+598\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5A0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5A8\] 0x7FFC50BA26AD (void\* -> KERNEL32.DLL+00126AD mov ecx, eax) \[RSP+5B0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5B8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5C0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5D0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5D8\] 0x7FFC51E8A9F8 (void\* -> ntdll.dll+005A9F8 jmp 0x00007FFC51E8AA19) \[RSP+5E0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5E8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5F0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+5F8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+600\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+608\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+610\] 0x2E8A842000000000 (size\_t) \[3353638145504575488\] \[RSP+618\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+620\] 0x4F0FFFFFB30 (size\_t) \[5433133628208\] \[RSP+628\] 0x7FFC4F91B5F0 (void\* -> KERNELBASE.dll+015B5F0 mov \[rsp+0x10\], rbx) \[RSP+630\] 0x99E7CFE800 (void\*) \[RSP+638\] 0x611B31D000007FFC (size\_t) \[6997241215473188860\] \[RSP+640\] 0x7FFC611B31D0 (size\_t) \[140721937658320\] \[RSP+648\] 0x99E7CFE800 (void\*) \[RSP+650\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+658\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+660\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+668\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+670\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+678\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+680\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+688\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+690\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+698\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6A0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6A8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6B0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6B8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6C0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6D0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6D8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6E0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6E8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6F0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+6F8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+700\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+708\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+710\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+718\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+720\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+728\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+730\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+738\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+740\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+748\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+750\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+758\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+760\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+768\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+770\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+778\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+780\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+788\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+790\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+798\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7A0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7A8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7B0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7B8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7C0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7C8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7D0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7D8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7E0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7E8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7F0\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+7F8\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+800\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+808\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+810\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+818\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+820\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+828\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+830\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+838\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+840\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+848\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+850\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+858\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+860\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+868\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+870\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+878\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+880\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+888\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+890\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] \[RSP+898\] 0x0 (size\_t) \[0\] 

MODULES:

XINPUT1\_3.dll 0x000000400000 steam\_api64.dll 0x000052280000 X3DAudio1\_7.dll 0x0000522C0000 d3d11.dll 0x000180000000 wintrust.dll 0x02222ED40000 PapyrusTweaks.dll 0x022278CB0000 po3\_PapyrusExtender.dll 0x022279A70000 SkyrimSE.exe 0x7FF72E580000 nvcuda64.dll 0x7FFB87070000 d3dcompiler\_47\_64.dll 0x7FFB87A30000 NvCamera64.dll 0x7FFB87E40000 d3dcompiler\_46e.dll 0x7FFB886B0000 steamclient64.dll 0x7FFB88D30000 XAudio2\_7.dll 0x7FFB8A400000 gameoverlayrenderer64.dll 0x7FFB8A750000 skee64.dll 0x7FFB8AA30000 RecursionFPSFix.dll 0x7FFB8AC40000 po3\_Tweaks.dll 0x7FFB8AD20000 po3\_SpellPerkItemDistributor.dll 0x7FFB8AE90000 PapyrusUtil.dll 0x7FFB8B270000 skse64\_1\_6\_640.dll 0x7FFB8B5D0000 D3DCOMPILER\_43.dll 0x7FFB8B700000 CrashLogger.dll 0x7FFB8BA00000 po3\_MoonMod.dll 0x7FFB95EC0000 NVIDIA\_Reflex.dll 0x7FFB95F70000 MoreInformativeConsole.dll 0x7FFB96030000 ENBHelperSE.dll 0x7FFB97620000 BugFixesSSE.dll 0x7FFB976C0000 tier0\_s64.dll 0x7FFB97750000 Fuz Ro D'oh.dll 0x7FFB982A0000 ActorLimitFix.dll 0x7FFB98C20000 bink2w64.dll 0x7FFB98CC0000 EngineFixes.dll 0x7FFBAC270000 FaceGenFixes.dll 0x7FFBAF570000 AnimationQueueFix.dll 0x7FFBB2A30000 tbbmalloc.dll 0x7FFBB36D0000 tbb.dll 0x7FFBB4020000 vstdlib\_s64.dll 0x7FFBB4360000 ResampleDmo.DLL 0x7FFBBE050000 DSOUND.DLL 0x7FFBBE110000 EVLaS.dll 0x7FFBD3410000 msdmo.dll 0x7FFBD8260000 BarterLimitFix.dll 0x7FFBE5B60000 d3dx9\_42.dll 0x7FFBE5C50000 AchievementsModsEnabler.dll 0x7FFC04A20000 nvspcap64.dll 0x7FFC055C0000 DINPUT8.dll 0x7FFC0EEF0000 d3dx11\_43.dll 0x7FFC21F50000 AchievementsModsEnablerLoader.dll 0x7FFC221C0000 MSVCP140.dll 0x7FFC29DC0000 VCRUNTIME140.dll 0x7FFC2A100000 MessageBus.dll 0x7FFC2A220000 VCRUNTIME140\_1.dll 0x7FFC2B460000 MSVCP140\_ATOMIC\_WAIT.dll 0x7FFC2BEB0000 Secur32.dll 0x7FFC2DAA0000 ncryptsslp.dll 0x7FFC2E910000 MessageBus.dll 0x7FFC30620000 Windows.UI.dll 0x7FFC30D60000 inputhost.dll 0x7FFC325F0000 winmmbase.dll 0x7FFC32D70000 symamsi.dll 0x7FFC342E0000 MpOav.dll 0x7FFC347A0000 amsi.dll 0x7FFC34850000 textinputframework.dll 0x7FFC34B50000 nvwgf2umx.dll 0x7FFC35F60000 webio.dll 0x7FFC3BE40000 rasadhlp.dll 0x7FFC3D730000 AUDIOSES.DLL 0x7FFC3DE80000 dbghelp.dll 0x7FFC3E0C0000 nvapi64.dll 0x7FFC40E50000 MMDevApi.dll 0x7FFC421A0000 wbemsvc.dll 0x7FFC42A30000 fastprox.dll 0x7FFC42A50000 wbemprox.dll 0x7FFC43A50000 drvstore.dll 0x7FFC455B0000 fwpuclnt.dll 0x7FFC45720000 cryptnet.dll 0x7FFC457B0000 nvldumdx.dll 0x7FFC45C40000 dhcpcsvc.DLL 0x7FFC46AD0000 WINHTTP.dll 0x7FFC47200000 dhcpcsvc6.DLL 0x7FFC478B0000 WINMM.dll 0x7FFC47B70000 VERSION.dll 0x7FFC47EF0000 wbemcomn.dll 0x7FFC47F00000 XINPUT9\_1\_0.dll 0x7FFC48F50000 CoreUIComponents.dll 0x7FFC49F90000 avrt.dll 0x7FFC4A590000 directxdatabasehelper.dll 0x7FFC4A5C0000 WINNSI.DLL 0x7FFC4A840000 WindowsCodecs.dll 0x7FFC4AD10000 d3d11.dll 0x7FFC4B520000 CoreMessaging.dll 0x7FFC4C4C0000 apphelp.dll 0x7FFC4C7A0000 uxtheme.dll 0x7FFC4C880000 dxcore.dll 0x7FFC4CB40000 dxgi.dll 0x7FFC4CB80000 dwmapi.dll 0x7FFC4CC90000 resourcepolicyclient.dll 0x7FFC4CD10000 wintypes.dll 0x7FFC4D110000 windows.storage.dll 0x7FFC4D250000 HID.DLL 0x7FFC4DB20000 IPHLPAPI.DLL 0x7FFC4DE00000 DNSAPI.dll 0x7FFC4DE70000 UMPDC.dll 0x7FFC4E140000 powrprof.dll 0x7FFC4E160000 schannel.DLL 0x7FFC4E200000 rsaenh.dll 0x7FFC4E300000 kernel.appcore.dll 0x7FFC4E390000 ntmarta.dll 0x7FFC4E3B0000 SSPICLI.DLL 0x7FFC4E5E0000 MSWSOCK.dll 0x7FFC4E800000 USERENV.dll 0x7FFC4E900000 CRYPTBASE.DLL 0x7FFC4EA60000 CRYPTSP.dll 0x7FFC4EA70000 wldp.dll 0x7FFC4EB10000 NTASN1.dll 0x7FFC4EB90000 ncrypt.dll 0x7FFC4EBD0000 bcrypt.dll 0x7FFC4EC00000 msasn1.dll 0x7FFC4EEF0000 devobj.dll 0x7FFC4EF10000 cfgmgr32.dll 0x7FFC4EF40000 DPAPI.DLL 0x7FFC4EFB0000 profapi.dll 0x7FFC4F180000 bcryptPrimitives.dll 0x7FFC4F250000 msvcp\_win.dll 0x7FFC4F2D0000 gdi32full.dll 0x7FFC4F370000 CRYPT32.dll 0x7FFC4F500000 ucrtbase.dll 0x7FFC4F670000 win32u.dll 0x7FFC4F790000 KERNELBASE.dll 0x7FFC4F7C0000 SETUPAPI.dll 0x7FFC4FC80000 USER32.dll 0x7FFC502C0000 ADVAPI32.dll 0x7FFC50480000 ole32.dll 0x7FFC50530000 OLEAUT32.dll 0x7FFC50730000 WS2\_32.dll 0x7FFC508A0000 PSAPI.DLL 0x7FFC50920000 MSCTF.dll 0x7FFC50A30000 IMM32.DLL 0x7FFC50B50000 KERNEL32.DLL 0x7FFC50B90000 imagehlp.dll 0x7FFC50C60000 GDI32.dll 0x7FFC50C80000 SHLWAPI.dll 0x7FFC50CB0000 sechost.dll 0x7FFC50D10000 NSI.dll 0x7FFC50E50000 combase.dll 0x7FFC50E60000 clbcatq.dll 0x7FFC511F0000 SHCORE.dll 0x7FFC512A0000 RPCRT4.dll 0x7FFC513A0000 SHELL32.dll 0x7FFC514C0000 msvcrt.dll 0x7FFC51D40000 ntdll.dll 0x7FFC51E30000 

SKSE PLUGINS:

AchievementsModsEnablerLoader.dll v1.2 ActorLimitFix.dll AnimationQueueFix.dll v1.0.1 BarterLimitFix.dll BugFixesSSE.dll CrashLogger.dll v1.8 ENBHelperSE.dll v2.2 EngineFixes.dll v6.1.1 EVLaS.dll v1.3.1 FaceGenFixes.dll v1.0.3 Fuz Ro D'oh.dll v2.3.6.1030 MoreInformativeConsole.dll v1.1 NVIDIA\_Reflex.dll v1.1.2 PapyrusTweaks.dll v4.1 PapyrusUtil.dll po3\_MoonMod.dll v2.0.2.1 po3\_PapyrusExtender.dll v5.5.0.1 po3\_SpellPerkItemDistributor.dll v6.6.1.1 po3\_Tweaks.dll v1.8.0.1 RecursionFPSFix.dll v1.1 skee64.dll 

PLUGINS:

Light: 70 Regular: 117 Total: 187 \[00\] Skyrim.esm \[01\] Update.esm \[02\] Dawnguard.esm \[03\] HearthFires.esm \[04\] Dragonborn.esm \[05\] ccBGSSSE001-Fish.esm \[06\] ccBGSSSE025-AdvDSGS.esm \[07\] Unofficial Skyrim Special Edition Patch.esp \[08\] SGEyebrows.esp \[09\] Lanterns Of Skyrim II.esm \[0A\] Occ\_Skyrim\_Tamriel.esp \[0B\] Enhanced Solitude SSE.esp \[0C\] Midwood Isle.esp \[0D\] Lux Via.esp \[0E\] Water for ENB.esm \[0F\] Campfire.esm \[10\] Vigilant.esm \[11\] WheelsOfLull.esp \[12\] Wyrmstooth.esp \[13\] High Poly Head.esm \[14\] BSAssets.esm \[15\] BSHeartland.esm \[16\] BS\_DLC\_patch.esp \[17\] Falskaar.esm \[18\] VWA\_VanillaWarpaintsAbsolution.esp \[19\] TrueStormsSE.esp \[1A\] JKs Skyrim.esp \[1B\] WindhelmSSE.esp \[1C\] Book Covers Skyrim.esp \[1D\] AI Overhaul.esp \[1E\] Skyrim Immersive Creatures Special Edition.esp \[1F\] MysticismMagic.esp \[20\] Solitude Expansion.esp \[21\] Enhanced Solitude Expansion SSE.esp \[22\] skryrimfarmhouseinns.esp \[23\] SurWR.esp \[24\] ZIA\_Complete Pack.esp \[25\] DSerCombatGameplayOverhaul.esp \[26\] OBIS SE.esp \[27\] SeranaDialogAddon.esp \[28\] Immersive Encounters.esp \[29\] Odin - Skyrim Magic Overhaul.esp \[2A\] Embers XD.esp \[2B\] OwnCivilWar.esp \[2C\] Wintersun - Faiths of Skyrim.esp \[2D\] Run For Your Lives.esp \[2E\] Inigo.esp \[2F\] DeadlyDragons.esp \[30\] ImprovedCompanionsBoogaloo.esp \[31\] Immersive Weapons.esp \[32\] LoS II - Lantern Workers.esp \[33\] Frostfall.esp \[34\] ForgottenCity.esp \[35\] Skyrim Flora Overhaul.esp \[36\] BooksOfSkyrim.esp \[37\] Apocalypse - Magic of Skyrim.esp \[38\] Summermyst - Enchantments of Skyrim.esp \[39\] Andromeda - Unique Standing Stones of Skyrim.esp \[3A\] Wildcat - Combat of Skyrim.esp \[3B\] UltimateCombat.esp \[3C\] Uthgerd.esp \[3D\] LydiaPatchForWyrmstooth.esp \[3E\] Bijin Wives.esp \[3F\] BarenziahQuestMarkers.esp \[40\] DiverseDragonsCollectionSE.esp \[41\] OBIS SE - Immersive Weapons Patch.esp \[42\] SIC - ICH Patch.esp \[43\] art\_StarsightEyes.esp \[44\] SFO\_SkinFeatureOverlays.esp \[45\] Volkihar Knight.esp \[46\] Lords of Coldharbour.esp \[47\] Elemental Eyes.esp \[48\] TheEyesOfBeauty.esp \[49\] TGNoToNocturnal.esp \[4A\] LustmordVampireArmor.esp \[4B\] SDA IFD Lydia Patch.esp \[4C\] True Storms - Obsidian Weathers - Patch .esp \[4D\] Cathedral Landscapes.esp \[4E\] FMS\_FemaleMakeupSuite.esp \[4F\] XPMSE.esp \[50\] RaceMenuMorphsCBBE.esp \[51\] Imperious - Races of Skyrim.esp \[52\] Racial Body Morphs - Extreme Morphs - Imperious.esp \[53\] Ordinator - Perks of Skyrim.esp \[54\] MysticOrdinator.esp \[55\] Odin - Ordinator Compatibility Patch.esp \[56\] Apocalypse - Ordinator Compatibility Patch.esp \[57\] Sacrosanct - Vampires of Skyrim.esp \[58\] Alternate Start - Live Another Life.esp \[59\] nwsFollowerFramework.esp \[5A\] Lux.esp \[5B\] Water for ENB (Shades of Skyrim).esp \[5C\] BW Lydia.esp \[5D\] Frea.esp \[5E\] BW Ingjard.esp \[5F\] BW Beleval.esp \[60\] Mjoll.esp \[61\] BW Ria.esp \[62\] BW Njada Stonearm.esp \[63\] BW Illia.esp \[64\] BW Eola.esp \[65\] BW Aranea.esp \[66\] Adelaisa.esp \[67\] BW Jenassa.esp \[68\] Aela.esp \[69\] Immersive Sounds - Compendium.esp \[6A\] Hothtrooper44\_ArmorCompilation.esp \[6B\] Hothtrooper44\_Armor\_Ecksstra.esp \[6C\] imp\_helm\_legend.esp \[6D\] FNIS.esp \[6E\] Obsidian Weathers.esp \[6F\] dD-No Spinning Death Animation.esp \[70\] RaceMenu.esp \[71\] RaceMenuPlugin.esp \[72\] SMIM-SE-Merged-All.esp \[73\] Relationship Dialogue Overhaul.esp \[74\] SkyUI\_SE.esp \[FE:000\] ccQDRSSE001-SurvivalMode.esl \[FE:001\] ccBGSSSE037-Curios.esl \[FE:002\] Vanilla Script MicroOptimizations.esl \[FE:003\] Lux - Resources.esp \[FE:004\] Lux - Master plugin.esm \[FE:005\] ConfigureCommentaryRate.esl \[FE:006\] Particle Patch for ENB.esp \[FE:007\] Hearthfires Houses Building Fix.esp \[FE:008\] Capital Windhelm Expansion - JK's Skyrim Patch.esp \[FE:009\] Lux Via - plugin.esp \[FE:00A\] JKs The Drunken Huntsman.esp \[FE:00B\] JK - CWE Patch.esp \[FE:00C\] Falskaar - Bug Fixes.esp \[FE:00D\] Falskaar - Bruma Patch.esp \[FE:00E\] KozakowyFalkaArmor.esp \[FE:00F\] LoS II - SMIM patch.esp \[FE:010\] LoS II - USSEP patch.esp \[FE:011\] Embers XD - Patch - Lux Via.esp \[FE:012\] Deadly Dragons - Wyrmstooth.esp \[FE:013\] Deadly Dragons - Diverse Dragons Collection.esp \[FE:014\] Lamenthia's Marks of Beauty.esp \[FE:015\] SIC - Immersive Sound Integration.esp \[FE:016\] aMidianBorn\_Book of Silence.esp \[FE:017\] Wintersun - SIC Patch.esp \[FE:018\] Windhelm SSE- Embers XD Patch.esp \[FE:019\] WindhelmSSE-AIOverhaul Patch.esp \[FE:01A\] Wintersun - BCS Patch.esp \[FE:01B\] LoS II - Midwood Isle patch.esp \[FE:01C\] LoS II - Campfire addon.esp \[FE:01D\] LoS II - Bruma patch.esp \[FE:01E\] LoS II - Book of Skyrim patch.esp \[FE:01F\] IA\_CBBE.esp \[FE:020\] Pocky Punk's Make Up Addon\_females.esp \[FE:021\] Wintersun - ZIA Patch.esp \[FE:022\] SDA Wintersun Patch.esp \[FE:023\] SDA RDO Patch.esp \[FE:024\] SDA No To Nocturnal Patch.esp \[FE:025\] HouseOfHorrorsQuestExpansion.esp \[FE:026\] SDA House of Horrors Expansion Patch.esp \[FE:027\] NPCs\_Wear\_Amulets\_Of\_Mara.esp \[FE:028\] NPCs\_Wear\_Amulets\_Of\_Mara - SDA Patch.esp \[FE:029\] SDA Lustmord Patch.esp \[FE:02A\] High Poly NPCs - WheelsOfLull.esp \[FE:02B\] Water for ENB - Patch - Falskaar.esp \[FE:02C\] Water for ENB - Patch - Beyond Skyrim.esp \[FE:02D\] Obsidian Weathers - Patch - Rudy ENB.esp \[FE:02E\] NightEyeENBFix.esp \[FE:02F\] MoonsAndStars.esp \[FE:030\] Embers XD - Fire Magick Add-On.esp \[FE:031\] Lux Via - Blended Roads Bridges Texture sets.esp \[FE:032\] HPP - Vaermina's Torpor.esp \[FE:033\] KSWigsSMP.esp \[FE:034\] KSHairdosSMP.esp \[FE:035\] KSWigsSMP Clothing Patch.esp \[FE:036\] Xing SMP Hairs and Wigs - HHairstyles.esp \[FE:037\] Xing SMP Hairs and Wigs - Fuse.esp \[FE:038\] Xing SMP Hairs and Wigs - Dint999.esp \[FE:039\] Serana Re-Imagined.esp \[FE:03A\] CBBE.esp \[FE:03B\] EnhancedAtronachs.esp \[FE:03C\] Imperious\_HPH Vampire Fix Patch.esp \[FE:03D\] Ordinator - Beyond Skyrim Bruma Patch.esp \[FE:03E\] SDA NFF Patch.esp \[FE:03F\] nwsFF\_NTMD\_Apocalypse.esp \[FE:040\] Lux - USSEP patch.esp \[FE:041\] Lux - Wintersun patch.esp \[FE:042\] Lux - Saints and Seducers patch.esp \[FE:043\] Lux - CC Fish patch.esp \[FE:044\] Water for ENB - Patch - Rudy ENB.esp \[FE:045\] ICBLydia\_BijinAlt\_Patch.esp 

I just want to randomly write about my experience going to a Korean spa for the first time. I went to Spa World in Katy/Houston. I had never in my life gotten fully nude around others in such close proximity in my life, but being a gen z guy, I always wanted to experience that kind of camaraderie with other men since I feel people kn my generation especially make being or being seen naked in places where it's ok super weird and oversexualized. It was definitely a drive, but I did do some research actually from this subreddit and also online reviews, and decided life is too short to not do things you wanna experience because of societal views. When I got there, the front desk lady asked me if I had been there and knew how it worked, and basically explained the gender segregated lockerrooms and the co Ed areas. I was surprised because I had no idea that they didn't offer full size towels for the locker areas, and just the small hand towels, but I wasn't deterred because I figured everyone else in there would be in the same state of undress I'd be. I finally go in there, and definitely felt nervous but the locker area was very clean, and surpsingly to me smelled good. I got to my locker and finally stripped, grabbed the little towel, and headed to the wet area. There was at first only 1 older gentlemen but I liked how it didn't feel weird or strange we both were there in nothing but maybe the bracelets with the keys to our lockers. The first pool felt amazing, and water was warm but not overly hot, and not having the constraints of a bathing suit, and it was great to go from one bathing pool to another, and the saunas and steam rooms. After about 30 min, I went to the co ed area and i really enjoyed the red clay ball area, salt rooms, and upstairs with sleeping mats. But definitely the nude areas were my favorite part. Just being able to be a man around other men with nothing to hide was an amazing experience. I had some really amazing conversations with some of the other men when I came back 1 more time now for a couple of hours in the afternoon before I left. I feel us all being naked made us more relaxed to talk about the meanings of life, and not worry so much about what's happening in the world. And seeing all men of all ages, ethnicities, body types, etc. really opened my mind because I used to think I had preferences, but realizing everyone looks weird naked made me realize I want to date a man not based on his looks, but how he is as a human being. I hope to go back one day, hopefully one day I can bring a friend with me just to talk and hang out. Cause I feel it'd be nice to be able to be friends (and even have a boyfriend) who I can hang out with in that state and really have genuine connections and conversations

How is everyone managing living expenses these days? My department pays a stipend, tuition and fees, but the stipend has not kept up with recent inflation and rising rent (housing shortages, even with roommates) in a high COL area. Also have had a couple of personal emergency expenses come up that have eaten my savings.
I have a little over a year left and a real job is on the horizon so I’m considering taking out a loan that has a lower APR than my credit cards. Is anyone in a similar situation, or on the other side? Haven’t had to take out any loans for school yet so the thought of taking one out with a light at the end of the tunnel is getting to me!
P.S. I also work in a synthetic organic lab with an old school PI that takes the “no outside jobs” clause seriously. I’ve tutored here and there but it’s just not cutting it.