Fast food near by

Hi, 22M here, i think i developed some sort of ED, when I make out with some girls my dick doesn’t even get hard anymore and even if it gets hard, it is not ad hard as it used to get How long did you get to fix your ED? And what did you do? Note: I quit smoking since January 8 2023 and also alcohol, but im smoking weed and im gonna stop this weekend. I workout regularly and im quitting fast food Im very anxious now and I only think about my problem so it is getting worse just by thinking of it Im stopping masturbation and quitting porn also. But im asking just to make sure and clear my mind so i stop overthinking.

Hello.
Throw away account for obvious reasons. Ive written articles here before in the very early days on other throw aways but lurk once in a while. This is kind of a low effort post but i feel like i need to at least get the discussion started.
Anyway this is a critique of this sub. It is meant to be taken constructively and I am not bashing. Many of the people here are enthusiasts who understand the importance of geography on the fate of a nation, a people and an individual (hopefully). But in recent times the quality of discussion has been lacking. I suspect this is because people rely solely on mob thinking and their opinions to inform their decision with minimal logic. Many lack a clear understanding of history, technology, the current state of affairs in the country, and ideological frameworks and geopolitical theories. This is fine. These people aren't in charge of policy. But their opinions can sway the thinking of others on this sub and can cloud discussions.
Don't believe me? Read this article: https://scottlocklin.wordpress.com/2017/09/02/ai-and-the-human-informational-centipede/
The same applies to conversations here.
I see this most clearly in discussion of china both in media and this sub. Too many peoples "reality models" or their framework for viewing the world is out of touch with reality. This is to be expected. The reality model/ framework of a day labourer is very different than that of a celebrity. In the same way geopolitical enthusiasts on this sub simply dont understand the fundamentals of indias position with other countries. The media doesnt help either.
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To act in a productive manner, an entity must first evaluate what its working with. You need data. This sub is heavily lacking good data on China for example. Here are sources I believe are valuable in starting to develop an information bank on china for the average Indian. This is not an exhaustive list. But it will inform your thinking. What you conclude from this information will be up to you. But the better you information, the better your decisions, and what is an entity if not the net sum of its decisions?
TL;DR : Learn to read from more than one line reddit comments and media pieces to inform your opinion if you actually want to be constructive and lead the country to a better place.
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Sources on china to look at. THis is china specific because they are our priority but is usually applicable for other issues:

1. Make an account with the large chinese social media sites. How many of you have actually tried jumping the fire wall? Do you know the chinese equivalent of reddit? Google? Youtube? Have you tried searching posts on india on these sites to see what comes up for chinese audiences? Well you should try atleast. Also if you are worried about your data, our goverment sold it out to the western companies a long time ago, so dont worry about it lol. whatever you are trying to protect is already gone. Also a lot of these apps are available on the playstore like wechat. Unless the indian government banned those too lul.
2. Serpentza is a good youtube channel. He makes highly critical videos of china, but as far as i can tell has a good head on his shoulders and is pretty grounded in reality and doesnt get lost in the rhetoric from either side. He isnt in the "CHINA BAD!!! REEEE!!!" camp of hawks, and neither is he in the "WESTERN PROPAGANDA, CHINA IS HEAVEN!!!!!" china bhakt camp either. He lived in china for 13 years. He is south african and is highly critical of his own country. In many ways he has similarities to dis-illusioned indians but in his case it might be justified. He may not be nice to hear but he is consistent in his beliefs from the videos i have seen. Or i might be getting psy-oped by high level propaganda. Who knows, maybe you can tell me after watching a few videos. An example of his work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHxh_sQHH0E. My point is, look for videos that are as close to the ground reality of the other side as possible.
3. Learn to look for the bad. It is always nice to hear good things about your country. But talk is cheap. Look for the reports of india actually messing up because those are the places that we need to fix. We have poor relations with virtually all of our neighbours. Why? India has abysmal health issues with a large population that is either hungry or malnourished. This has terrible implications for creating high quality indian citizens who not only love but are capable of pushing india forward. Why? If you do this well you will start to think independent of political party posturing and start seeing what actually matters and which parties will actually make a difference and rise above all the media mudslinging. Start by looking at nutrition and the indian diet and its effects on the growth of individuals, toilet and sanitation programs, energy infrastructure. These are the things that really matter. Sure you might get depressed, but if you aren't ready to hear the bad parts of your country then you are a coward, im afraid because then you will never be able to work to fix this. Also the west always pushes india good or bad narratives knowing that the vast percentage of the population are dumb enough to eat it up and give massive concessions to the enemy. Dont be like these people.
4. Read a god dam history book. Seriously. History is the biggest bank of data you can have on the actions of states and how they survived. Which empires lasted long? Which fell. Why did they fall? Are their influences still around today? Are those influences good or bad? Human biology has been relatively constant for the last 300,000 years. This means the people who lived in the past were no different intellectually than us. Dont make the mistake of thinking we are different because we arent quite there (yet). How did they make sense of their state? If you cant read a history book, then listen to a few low level history podcasts. Dan carlin on youtube has great series on ancient empires.
5. Read a god dam geopolitical science book. Francis Fukuyama is famous in US geopolitical circles of the highest level. He also has written books. Maybe its a good idea to read them? The autobiographies of great leaders are important sources into their inner workings too. Giga Chad Deng Xiaoping, Giga Chad Lee Kuan Yew, Giga Chad Otto Bismarck. These are a few people who changed in a single generation the fate of their nations (sometimes single handedly). For the akhand bharat types (the ones that arent stupid) i would recommend starting with Otto.
6. Stay away from the media. Anything worth reading is hidden in congretional reports that no one in the media reads or obscure blog posts. If you read my link on the human info centipede you know what i am saying. If someone took the time to write a book on it you can trust that it is worth reading. Usually.
7. Respect your adversary. It is important to not believe ones own propaganda. It is easy to get lost in it. You are no better. In fact i would suggest looking for propaganda from your side. It usually is a good skill to seperate the truth from the lies. Can you name some of this propaganda?
8. Accept that we have no allies. India will always be on its own. Atleast for the near future. We are at the center of the "Old World" We will always be a battle ground. Any peace we make here, will be of our own work. No one wants a strong india. Not the US or China. China because we will be a competitor in their neighborhood security (doesnt matter if we wont be its what they think). US because they made the play book on this. Support france to beat the british and gain independence. Support the Russians to beat the Germans. Support the Chinese to beat the Russians. CAn you guess who is next in this pattern? We have friends of convenience. Until and unless we sign into a military alliance on paper, we have no allies. And even then who is to say that our military allies will actually help us? Just look at armenia, CSTO and Russia.
9. Learn what india's geopolitical objectives are. If you wish to evaluate whether a developement is good or bad, you must have a metric of progress that you are aiming toward. It is not simply "counter china".
10. Competence is the backbone of a society. Beware the rise of the incompetent. Learn from the mistkes and failures of other states. See what works, shed what doesnt. An example: https://www.thepsmiths.com/p/review-south-africas-brave-new-world
11. Overtime you will become disillusioned. You will become frustrated. And if you do some of the things I have said you may grow to dislike a lot of things about india. I have simply given you the knowledge to fathom the monsters that hound this country. The courage and good character to face them and not run away will have to come from you.

I have purposely not given easy links to some of these suggestions because you lazy asses need to learn how to google and look for information yourself. Too many of you are spoon fed and dont know who is holding the spoon.
This is a good place to start. If you made it this far, good! Youve either been psy-oped by high level propaganda or are racing to the comments to give an opinion. If however you see something of value in what i am saying, good luck to you!

no matter how many years pass by, i know you'll be there for me waiting near the anchor with all your heart and soul. you're who i wanna be and you inspire me to be a better person everyday, it's unreal and i can't wait for our babies fo grow up and be just like us but so much better. you make everyday in my life worth living and talking to you, can lift a shit load off of my chest lll. anyways goodnight. to many more birthdays together<3 u/Notorius_Lemon

These are the end time and in these trying times we must stick together. Just because civilization is lost, doesn’t not mean that we are. We are still here in Knox County, the epicenter of the virus. With the help of others, we have reclaimed some small pieces of salvation from the dead. If you are listening to this message, we have food, water, and shelter. We are safe, for now, and can use any help. Our mission: work together to clear Knox county of ALL undead
-RP server -Fresh wipe -Lightly modded for QoL -Zombie Respawn off -Raven creek, redstone, pitstop, and bennings map packs -50+ modded vehicles
https://discord.gg/cAbS3q43
Server Name: The End is Near
IP: 176.57.143.66 Port: 34600 Region: North America

Pretty much as the title indicates. I really don't know much about RAM and how its spent but I sort of understand it's a product of the computing and memory capacity required by certain apps. I own a 4 yr old 64 bit laptop with Intel I7 core @ 1.8 GHz and 8GB of RAM. While it used to be pretty fast (SSD storage) its slowed down over the years. I'm used to that but I can't help but feel like it's RAM is waaay more stretched out than it should be.
After closing out all tabs and windows, it still runs at a baseline RAM of ~70-80% at all times. When I open Task Manager, I can't seem to figure out why. Again, maybe this is a bad interpretation of how this works but based off the screenshot below, NONE of the processes running appear to use all 8GB of my memory but when I look at the overall usage, it seems really high. Can anyone help me understand if i) this is normal, or ii) I'm wrong on how the math works, or iii) if there's something else running that's hiding in the background?
https://preview.redd.it/4zzn27s9du4b1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=47b990c30431e02a2c0af0ff580eb265262008f8
https://preview.redd.it/weipd9s9du4b1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=ec3e8695f40a1ba8092ec20bb2d7a2e5e7278cd0

I've been at the university hosting the reu for about 3 weeks now, and it is a complete mess. The first day the pi kept coughing but laughed it off saying that it isn't covid and that he just got sick traveling internationally and not to worry. The next day, he shows up on zoom and says "woops I tested positive." one of the 10 people at this reu with me is immunocompromised and was sent to the ER because he got covid, (everyone got covid.) Not to mention, the professor has not apologized ONCE for this. other than this, he has been asking other professors on campus to give us long 3 hour lectures, which would be okay in other scenarios, but most of us have already taken courses revolving the topics, and the guest professors themselves were confused why they were asked to lecture us.
The main issue I have is:
If you brought 10 of us to a new campus, put us into dorms with no meal plan and only a tiny dorm legal fridge that barely fits one person's groceries in for the 3 people in each dorm, how do you expect us to gain anything out of the 10 weeks economically? We are mainly forced to get food delivered, or just stick to microwaving non perishable food the entire 3 months. He also expects us to only show up in person every monday for a weekly report on our research (which he also said that since its our research, he "won't be there to hold our hands,") meaning the remaining 6 days are on our own, in a dif city, no meal plan, no means of traveling besides uber, and no ways to even get to know our reu peers. I'm really disappointed on how this program is being run because I expected we would be able to gain some research experience under a professor that would at least guide us a little bit. If I wanted to conduct my own research without assistance, I could be at home doing it on my own without this reu. For all i care, I'd rather go back to my home institution and continue my undergraduate research assistant work there.
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Is it mean if I genuinely ask them to send all of us back home and refund us? I'd rather work home remotely at my own comfort and save money, than be imprisoned in a shit dorm by a pi who doesn't put the effort into us.

Timestamp + Photo Gallery
Paypal only. I ship fast (usually within 24 hours). Internationally shipping is available for an extra $20.
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Selling an early 1930's Sheaffer Balance Slim pen and pencil set.
The Sheaffer Balance was the first mass produced cigar shaped pen. Before it came out, nearly every pen on the market was cylindrical and had a flat top. It set the trend in 1929 when it first came out.
This particular Balance is in the much sought after Grey Marble w/ Red Vein.
Sheaffer made 2 Red Vein color variants (and didn't distinguish between, much to the frustration of collectors). One had the a more pale and grey celluloid color between the red veins and the other had a more beige tone. This set is made of the more beige tone.
The beige tone red vein celluloid was only used on the slim Balance and on the short / pocket size balance. It was never made into the full size Balance or oversize Balance pen.
It is the rarer of the Red Vein variants as was only offered in 2 sizes compared to 4.
The beige tone Red Vein is also impervious to crazing and celluloid decay, where as the silver tone variant is not and has been known to craze sometimes.
The slim is the same length as the Sheaffer Balance full size and oversize. It's just thinner. Kinda like how the Watermen 52 1/2 is the slim version of the Waterman 52.
Capped length is about 5.5 inches.
It has the short humped clip with the ball which means this pen was made between 1932 and 1935. It's an early Balance from before the striped celluloid models were released.
Nib is a very smooth F. It's firm but not a nail. Tipping is in perfect condition and I doubt it was used much considering the overall condition of the pen. See writing sample in the photos.
I've restored it with a brand new latex sac and it's functioning perfectly.
Comes with a matching mechanical pencil and original box.
[B++] Condition. Near perfect. Best one I've ever seen. A real collectors item. No scratches, no microscratches, no cracks. No brassing to the lever or cap band. One tiny speck of brassing on one of the sides of the ball on the clip you have to squint to see. No brassing on the rest of the clip. Imprint is perfect with the white stuff they rubbed on the letters in the Sheaffer factory still partially intact.
The pencil was likely used more than the pen as it has a tiny bit of plating wear on the tip where the lead comes out and a few light scratches to the metal cone there. The rest of it in the same condition as the pen. Pencil lead is included and retracts when you twist the top part of the pencil,
I'm listing it at $215 which is underpriced for this set in this condition. It should be closer to $250
If you check here the pencil alone is worth $80 and the pen is worth about double that.
Timestamp + Photo Gallery
Price w/ shipping: $215

I finished reading the six most recent volumes of the Sawyer spinoff, Dismemberment Galore! The Gore Gore Girl, a month ago & have re-read the various chapters of course, and pretty much all the chapters are fantastically well done. There are no spoilers in this I promise, I will describe why I liked certain chapter(s) but not actually detail the plot; I will mention new characters' names but nothing about their history (I will spoiler tag the new names though). An interesting difference I noticed between Rei Hiroe's Black Lagoon manga & Tatsuhiko Ida's spinoff manga is the background subject that they usually use to encompass their stories. Hiroe usually uses the subject(s) of military and history/politics, whereas Ida uses the subject(s) of folklore & popular culture (for example, American/British/Chinese/Slavic folklore; also using aspects from household-name horror movie/novel plots a few times).
Another difference between the two manga is the length of the stories, i.e. Black Lagoon is organized into arcs (13 total), while Dismemberment Galore! The Gore Gore Girl is primarily centered around one-chapter stories with just 4 arcs in total which make up a third of the current 45 chapters (the arcs being chapters 18-20, 24-28, 33-35, & 42-44). Before you ask, the spinoff series is NOT in English nor pirated into English, I was able to read the chapters since I possess the physical copies.
Like the main manga, the spinoff contains excellent female characters besides Sawyer, Shenhua, and other women from the original series. Five new women in the series that are pretty cool and mysterious include Bunny the Undertaker, The Undertaker No. 2, Jessica, Baba Yaga, and Jacqueline. I do wonder what Hiroe thinks of the new recurring characters, I know that he reviews the spinoff chapter manuscripts & checks for correct names as part of the spinoff collaboration. My only guess regarding new characters is that Hiroe possibly had a hand in naming Sawyer's new cleaner assistant Chop Top.
Another important difference between the main manga and the spinoff is Sawyer's communication. In the main series, Sawyer uses an electrolarynx to speak (although she does not use it in "The Wired Red Wild Card"), but in the spinoff she is not seen speaking with her electrolarynx once (despite a voice box shown only a couple times), so she solely communicates via nonverbal communication (facial expressions and body gestures). At best, her only mouth-related noises stem from vomiting or expressions (i.e. voiceless panting, whimpering or a sigh), no [electronic voice] words.
In general, all chapters stand out in their own way, but certain ones are great because of the new characters & their occasional progression(?) in becoming closer to Sawyer, others due to their action/comedic plots, and all chapters have a fantastic art style. There are two omake (in volume 1 & volume 3), and there is cool bonus art of characters in volumes 1, 2, 3 & 5. Sawyer basically belongs to 2 families, her first "family" with Shenhua & Lotton, and then her second "family" of her recurring friends in the spinoff. Those 2 families have not interacted with each other yet, so that would be an interesting turn if it occurred in upcoming chapters. Here are chapters that stood out and/or I really enjoyed in particular:
Chapter 02: The Shadow Over Roanapur (cool chapter through and through)
Chapter 05: A Quiet Place (if you liked Black Lagoon chapter 115 New Girl in the Hood Part 2, you'll enjoy this one)
Chapter 09: Basket Case (Sawyer & Dutch chapter)
Chapter 12: The Fog (involves the Rip-Off Church so just my favorable bias toward the church characters lol, great chapter)
Chapter 14: Gloomy Sunday (good story, touching ending)
Chapter 17: Enter The Fat Dragon (cool Shenhua chapter)
Chapter 19/20: LIGHT MY FIRE & In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida (good first arc that really piques the reader's curiosity about a new group of antagonist[s])
Chapter 22: IRON MAIDEN (funniest chapter in my opinion)
Chapter 23: A Mad-Tea Party (chapter leaves you with questions in a good way)
Chapter 28: The Ring (twist after twist & interesting ending to the 2nd arc)
Chapter 29: Big Trouble in Little China (cool fight/team-up)
Chapter 31: SWAMP THING (fast-paced action; the drawing & pacing are arranged so well that you can actually hear the chapter & weapon noises as you read)
Chapter 34: Nosferatu (interesting villain and awesome action/fight, great Sawyer family chapter)
Chapter 35: Stranger Things (like the title, truly strange to say the least)
Chapter 39: Fetish (definitely the most unnerving chapter; horror is one of the genres after all)
Chapter 40: Copycat (good Sawyer & Lotton chapter)
Chapter 41: The Wraith (good Sawyer family chapter, somber tone in parts)
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If you truly wish to learn about characters & chapters in the Sawyer spinoff manga for the time being (in English language), your best bet is to check out the spinoff chapter & character pages on the Black Lagoon Wiki. FAIR WARNING, those articles of course contain spoilers; read at your own risk. If you somehow even find it worthy to do (I wouldn't), you could get the physical copies & read by using image-text translation or knowing Japanese, or better yet find a pirated version if/when accessible.
For the 19 original Black Lagoon characters that appear in the Sawyer spinoff, all but Sawyer's wiki page have the respective Gore Gore Girl history section on their character pages (AGAIN, read at your own risk of spoilers if you so choose). Several spinoff charactechapter pages are still being added to the wiki, and the remaining pages should absolutely be finished by the end of June.
I hope you have found this review interesting & helpful.

Hey guys, i have a mega zero 2.0 that was acting weird a couple of weeks ago, it started ignoring my bed temperature configuration on CURA, but since i could just change it by hand on the start of the print i let it be (i just needed to showcase FFF to some students).
Fast-forward to today and after needing to print some stuff i started digging around to see if i could find the reason why it was ignoring the bed temperature, and i noticed that the first few lines of the GCODE were corrupted (including the bed temp command), i generated a new code on CURA and checked it through np++, it looked fine, i ejected the sd card and reinserted to see if it would still remain good and it did, but as soon as i loaded it in the printer it corrupted it (just the file i selected to print) what could be happening? has anyone else had a similar issue?
I've attached a print of the codes for reference.

I played the Fields of Hatred last night as a LvL 28 Barb. It was fun for about 15 minutes until I realized the futility of it all.
What’s the point of having a PvP zone with increased rewards when anyone can enter and play the zone without risk of loss or engaging in PvP?
If you have to volunteer for PvP by blood marking , why even have a PvP zone ? The barriers around the ritual sights should automatically bloodmark those inside to be open to attack from anyone 5 levels above and below them. Or at a handicap for a higher level player engaging with a lower level. wouldnt that be fair enough for the carebears?
Without the risk of loss from dying to mobs or other players there isn’t any rush behind it. It starts to seem very repetitive to me and clicking buttons over and over killing thousands of mobs with no challenge or substance. I haven’t even played through the story yet and I’m already feeling “meh” about the game, underwhelmed and let down. The mechanics are great, yet it was it played more like an MMORPG , like UltimaOnline or some of the classics. I’m not saying full loot here but at least some loot and death loss penalty.
I was hoping for a better system for Diablo that had some of the fear and excitement that lead to engaging play for PvP and PvE enthusiasts.
I’ll probably play through once on softcore and already started hardcore , yet it already feels like a huge repetitive exercise in futility and to be honest I feel a bit let down. PvP has been part of Diablo since it first came out, there has to be an engaging system. Unless you find it fun killing 10k of each mob type over and over, it will soon turn into another mindless grind once playing through the story, maybe once for some and many more times for others , but it will get old fast all the same in my opinion without engaging PvP system , guild wars , events etc.
I hope blizzard will enhance these features soon

My 2015 STI (with ~96k miles at the time) was shaking a bit on cold start and popped a P0302 CEL last December so I brought it into the dealer and they couldn't find anything wrong with it. At the time they cleared the code and things were fine until a few weeks ago when it came back, so I brought it in again (now at just over 100k miles) and they did a leak down on cylinder 2 which indicated 30% loss of pressure.
The dealer says this is valve issues and I should have them all fixed, sending out the heads to another shop for a cost of nearly $5k.
This car is stock unmodified in any way, always dealer serviced, so I'm not sure what to do. I don't really want to spend $5k on parts for an engine with 100k miles on it.
I called Subaru of America and opened a case, so hopefully they'll get back to me. The car doesn't knock or burn oil, so they said this repair wasn't covered by the 8 year 100k mile bearing warranty, even though if that happened they'd cover the cost. I almost wish it was that, which is an odd thing to write.
I'll update this thread with what SoA comes back with, but otherwise looking for options!

Hi all,
So, I finally got a diagnoses this month. I had to basically dump all my frustration on my doctor about weight gain, inability to lose weight without starving myself (500 calories or less a day), periods that are all over the place, super dry skin, brittle nails, family history of hypo etc.. she finally sent me for thyroid tests and I came up as subclinical. Started Levo and did an antibody test which was high, so she said that indicates that my hypo is caused by an autoimmune issue. She didn't say hashis but, I mean? It is, isn't it?
I started doing an elimination diet, after my own reading into the disease but when I asked my doctor what would be the best course of action at the next visit she just said taking levo and eating healthy and that the debate is still out on eliminating foods for autoimmune diseases. She basically said there's nothing I can and I have to accept I'll just become full blown hypo at sometime but the levo will help with symptoms.
Just curious what advice others have recieved for this. I currently feel great on the AIP elimination phase and have lost 10 lbs in 1.5 months, though I can't wait to add eggs back in haha

Just so I don’t get into this tooooo long. My girl and I had been dating for 5 years & broke up 2 years ago due to being lost in our lives with our career paths. We still remained very close and elected to do the whole FWB thing shortly after. Then this past year in October 2022, she ghosted me for one month. I had been blindsided by this and was extremely upset, but thought nothing more than she needed space. Never thought there was anyone else in the picture. I had seeked advice from tons of people as to what could’ve possibly went wrong. There was no closure. Fast forward a month.5 later and I reached out. We had sex and continued our path of FWB. During this time, we acted basically like a couple with no label as much as I hated it, but she did not want to put a title. I still loved her & she loved me so this put a hole in my heart. Throughout this time, I was still trying to figure out my life while she was doing very well, making new friends, et . I was happy for her! In May, I got a job getting paid $100k+ a year, then I finally proposed again that we “run it back”. She said yes and we make it official. This past weekend we went to the park and sat for hours in a tent having a very open and honest conversation. Throughout our two years of FWB, I consistently asked whether or not she had done stuff with other guys to which she said “no” and she said no because I told her if she ever did, I’d be gone. Well… I asked her again and told her to just tell me the truth. I admitted to kissing a girl and then she finally said i just kissed one guy then I said something I did again, then it was two guys. Okay cool. Now we can move on right? Wrong. My intuition had been screaming at me that THIS WASNT IT. Next day comes around, I see her, then I pressed her again “Was that it?”, “Yes”, “I don’t believe you”. Guess what ladies and gents, I admitted to sleeping with a girl in October to which she said drum roll please…. I slept with the 2nd guy I kissed. I’d given her 1 million chances to admit it but she didn’t want to tell me in fear of losing me. We both admitted it, feelings were hurt, we talked about it and I was willing to move forward even though 95% of me was going to leave. I wanted to give it ONE MORE CHANCE after 7 years and start on a clean slate. 3 days go by and it’s cordial, nice phone calls and convo. YESTERDAY, we see each one another for the first time since spilling and we just kept taking jabs at one another for what the other did. A part of her justification was that “we aren’t together”. Mind you, we took trips together, beach days, etc. These were joking jabs on both ends and then when I get home I text her & found her energy to be off. I called her, she was off and told me she was upset about what I’d done. I chose to forgive her but she still has not. I asked if this is what she wants she kept saying “ idk idk idk “. She then said she needs space for a few days to process what happened. What do I do? Is this relationship dead or can it be mended? SOS
P.S. we always tell one another we love one another and want to get married, but this has hurt us both deeply.

I am the youngest child in a big family of seven kids. We are all pretty close and for all being adults we are fortunate to be able to visit each other a lot and gather for holidays. I have a summer birthday, so almost all of my birthdays have been with family. However, over the years my birthday has become a difficult occasion for me. There are a few things that probably factor into this, but the biggest one is receiving gifts.
My family is somewhat poor, and at times growing up it was more than just somewhat. My parents were by no means neglectful though and we always had food and a home. At the same time, finances were a daily topic of discussion, but the only point of the discussion was that there was never enough. With this being constantly in my mind as a kid, I knew not to expect much at Christmas or my birthday. Being a kid though, I would still get hopeful.
I don’t know if this is typical of all families, but as adults we still occasionally get each other birthday gifts—and our parents get us gifts—as circumstances allow. We have a shared google doc where everyone puts their wish list so that anyone in the family can see it no matter where they are.
I tend to have more expensive taste than a lot of others in my family—not in terms of seeking brand names, just seeking high quality things that will last and be used well. I know that makes it difficult for them to take inspiration from my wish list. However, I limit my list to things I need or that I know I will want to use for a long time. I am certainly not into small knickknacks or things that just take up space.
I’ve tried casually mentioning to my family throughout the years that it would mean much more to me to only receive one thing that I really wanted than many smaller things that I didn’t want. I’ve even suggested that money or gift cards are fine enough, I don’t really need anything more. I know those are perceived as impersonal gifts, and perhaps that’s why they don’t do it, but it feels more impersonal to me when I receive something that I know they only got out of convenience and thought “oh, maybe she’d like that”.
I think at this point it’s mostly about the fact that I just feel ignored even though I have always tried to communicate well and to the effect of making it easier on them. Regardless, my birthday is going to be celebrated how they think it should be celebrated. I often feel like they see me as a character like Amy from Little Women. We are admittedly very similar. I feel like they see me as irresponsible and impractical because I place value differently. It is known within my family that I struggle to be responsible and intentional with my finances (because thinking about budgeting induces my anxiety, go figure) and thus they decide to give me the things they think I should have rather than things I am interested in. It has led me to cry on my birthday many times, and I just want that to change. I know it might seem vain and materialistic, I hope I’ve gotten across that it’s the lack of thought that hurts.
TL;DR:
My birthday is in a few weeks and I guess my question is this: what can I do to change my birthdays with my family? How can I ask to stop receiving gifts without it being obvious that I didn’t like what they gave me in past years? And how could I do it in a way that didn’t seem like I was trying to be more “virtuous” than my siblings who do like gifts?
And if anyone has any advice on it, if I have a family in the future what can I do to prevent this for them?

Hey, I'm on a mailing list for small food businesses in the Bay Area and someone just posted saying they bought too much coconut cream which expires in August and were looking to sell it off at a loss:

My company has 800 lbs. of shelf-stable coconut cream to offload, with a short shelf life -- best by date is 8/17/23. Let me know if you or any company in your network may be interested.
We paid $0.80/lb, happy to sell for $0.40/lb OBO and to split what we have.
FOB Petaluma, CA, but we may be able to arrange East Bay transport.
Product:
Aseptic coconut cream, no stabilizers
18 cartons of 20 kgs each, potentially a couple more
Shelf-stable product, room temp storage
Importer: iTi Tropicals
Manufacturer: Kara
Origin: Indonesia
Spec sheet attached. Complete documentation available.

I'd hate to see it go to waste, but I definitely wouldn't be able to use more than one of those 20kg (44lb) containers myself, and I'd probably have to freeze it after opening so it doesn't go bad over the next couple months... (Got any good recipes for coconut cream ice cream?)
Any ideas for what to do with it? At $0.40/lb each 20kg container would be about $17.60 plus shipping (shipping is the tricky part, obviously).
Maybe if we get enough people who want to make Super Fuel or Keto Fuel (or Basically Food BALANCE or BURN) with coconut cream (my favorite recipe), we could find an efficient way to use this up! :D
Please reply if you're interested or have any ideas or questions. :d Thank you!

I a 20yr old f, am currently living in my aunt’s basement with my mom and little brother. Prior to us moving here we lived with our dad who wasn’t the best person at all! So when my dad went away for work my mom decided to take me and my brother and move in with my now aunt who was a random stranger prior to us moving in with her. We have been here for some years, throughout the years my mother has been exhibiting unhealthy living habits like leaving dirty dishes in the fridge and freezer, having an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, sometimes she would pick me up from work drunk, she constantly yells about everything repeatedly it’s the same thing everyday, and other things she does that stresses me out. My brother is also someone who is in his prime age of growth so seeing her like this and the lifestyle she is portraying what example is she setting for my brother? Both of my parents, I hate to say this, but I feel like they didn’t do a good job raising us at all, the environment we grew up in was toxic even till now we haven’t gotten a break! We haven’t been in a healthy living environment and it’s starting to take a toll on me, I feel like I’m in this constant jail cell and stagnant state in my life. To the point where I’m completely comfortable just making sure I pay my bills and having something to eat, I want to travel and see the world but with my financial situation I’m not able to, I work at a fast food restaurant and make $12.00 an hour 5 days a week, my mother “borrowed” $800 from me for rent saying she was going to pay me back that was about 2 years ago I haven’t financially been ok since then…. currently on a job hunt for a salary paying job so I can move out on my own and grow, debating if I should bring them with me or not. Although I do care for my brother he doesn’t listen and I’m not dealing with him he didn’t come out my vagina! He is not my responsibility. My mom is currently working 2 jobs 6 days a week trying to make ends meet I do see the effort but it’s like I’m tired, this is something spiritual and my soul is itching to just get away from all this. I need help because I honestly don’t know what to do. I am currently trying to get back on my feet after taking a break from school, I’m starting up again this fall hopefully with a fresh new start at life.