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2023.06.05 08:11 snappdragonn I (22F) have had a crush on my friend (20F) for just a little over a year and can't get over it. Advice?
So...yeah, basically what the title says. My friend and I are a part of a group of 4 that hang out basically all the time and I've liked my friend for going on a year and it suCKKKS. I actually told her about 9(ish) months ago and I never got an answer, just a sort of vague, non-answer that nearly drove me up the wall. My friend is HELLA anxious, like. Really, REALLY anxious. We're all close and with both of us being anxious people, it's hard to even think about asking again because I don't want to feel like I'm being pushy, even though I've been told that I wouldn't be pushing since it's been so long and I never got an answer, but y'know...anxiety. I've tried to look for the "signs" or whatever, but I'm so bad at it and she's hard to read so I'm kinda floundering atm.
I'm not really one to get crushes, as I'm demisexual, so when I do get a crush I crush HARD. I think I'm just looking for an outside perspective on the situation, even though I know that there's really only two options: man up and tell her or just Suffer until it goes away, even though I tried the latter and it's still persistent nearly a year later. :,)
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2023.06.05 08:11 dreamy_eyes_ PROMOTION OR PEACE OF MIND?
Hello mga ka reddit. Im really confuse right now on what to do and badly need your advise.
I am a 2-year employee working for one of the biggest companies in PH. My scope involves facilities management and improvement. Our team carry out immediate tempo and final repairs in order to upkeep the visual integrity of a structure.
I am very exhausted with the workload and the toxic department culture/ management overall. I do not know where my heart is but im really struggling keeping up with my bosses' expectations. There are sundays that i will cry knowing that weekend's already almost over. I am not happy with the state i am in and the stress it gives to me.
I am planning to resign by Sept. this year, since im thinking that i need to prioritize my mental health and overall well being. However, I am a candidate for promotion which will take effect by Sept. as well.
The original plan is to resign before my formal promotion and focus on my side business, where i am the boss. Completely a leap of faith.
Though the promotion is a great opportunity for my carreer and the salary will almost double, I am really confused where should i stand. Not to mention I am now considered as the stronghold of the team, my colleagues where newly hired and one is with me for a year. This is due to the fast turn over rate of my dept. I do really feel guilty leaving them behind though.
I hope i can get some advice.
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2023.06.05 08:10 Professional-Ear9663 I don't know if I should let go of my boyfriend so he can marry someone else
My (26F) boyfriend (25M) and I have been together for 2 years, and before that, we were best friends for nearly a decade. However, I'm thinking if I should break up with him so he can get married.
He's always wanted been a romantic and has always dreamed of getting married. He's dreamed of his wedding day since he was a little boy. I, on the other hand, have always been very career oriented. Marriage was never a priority of mine.
He's said he wants to get married before 30. I'm nearly 30 and I don't see myself getting married any time soon. There's still so much I want to do before I get married.
I don't want to be pressured to marry him before 30, but at the same time, I know that it's unfair of me to hold him back, even if he said he's willing to wait. Perhaps there is someone better for him who can marry him before 30. What if we don't work out? I don't want him to give up his dream for nothing.
The thing is, I'm worried about that girl possibly becoming a second choice that he marries just so he can be a husband before 30. He's loved me since he was younger, and before we got together, he would have other girlfriends and would admit to me that he still loved me more than them. Whenever he'd say that, I would encourage him to break up with them, not because I want him, but for the good of the poor girl. It's incredibly unfair for her to be second choice, especially if that time and effort she wastes on him could be better used on someone who actually loves her and chose her as their first time. I don't think I can sleep well in good conscience either knowing that another woman is wasting her time in a relationship like that because of me.
However, they were all before he was 24. He's approaching his deadline now. We need to start being serious. Surely he must be able to find a girl there that he could actually fall for right? And it's not that he will lose me either, I'll still be his best friend.
If I want him to actually really love that girl and make her first choice, we should break up now so he can have a year or 2 to find her, then another 2-3 years to be sure of his choice and really love her truly.
But there's always the risk of it not working out, and honestly we both still love each other a lot. I love him and that's why I don't want to hold him back. I don't want to let go of him either, but maybe this is for the best?
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2023.06.05 08:09 sadnesslaughs An immortal warrior with centuries of combat experience settles down to run an orphanage. Slave traders kidnap some of the children.... Big mistake.
“Miss Alexandria?” The child called out, tugging on the warrior’s dress. She had been asleep in her rocking chair, enjoying the small amount of rest she got from the chaotic orphanage. She opened her one good eye, staring down at Bronson.
“Did Lucy hit you with her training sword again? Honestly, she’s going to make a feisty warrior someday.” Alexandria chuckled, only to squint when she noticed the look of fear on Bronson’s face. She immediately stood up from her chair, staggering a little as the chair violently rocked from the sudden movement. “What happened?”
“Robed people. Lots of them! They came out of the woods and grabbed Lucy and the others. I… I wanted to help, but…” Bronson teared up, wiping his snotty nose on the edge of her dress.
“No, no, dear. You did good. Now I can rescue them. If you didn’t tell me, I might never have known. Now, where did they go?”
“T-towards the waterfall. The one near the big dumb dumb rock.”
“The dumb dumb rock? Oh, right, the one you all drew a face on. Never thought the dumb dumb rock would become a marker. Stay here and keep quiet. If anyone comes to the door that isn’t me, hide. If they find you, stab em with something pointy.” Alexandria instructed.
Alexandria went and found her sword, sliding it into its sheath. As she was about to leave, she heard Bronson call out. The child was already rummaging through the kitchen, looking for something sharp to hide with.
“Are they monsters?”
“Worse.” She headed out, following the path the kids took, finding her way quickly towards the dumb dumb rock. From the rock, she followed the water, seeing bloodstains along the way. As she continued to follow the stains, she finally came to the slavers’ camp, noticing that the blood hadn’t come from a child. Instead, it came from a slaver who was holding his shoulder.
“She stabbed me. The little brat stabbed me with my dagger. What sort of kid does that?” The slaver whined to his unsympathetic friend. “Not to mention she was biting my arm the whole time I carried her, calling me all sorts of names. Who raised that monster?” Alexandria smirked, unable to help feeling a little proud of what she was hearing. “Good job, Lucy.” She whispered to herself as she pushed past the nearby trees, stepping out into the clearing. As soon as she stepped out, she drew her blade.
She swiftly beheaded the wounded slaver, not bothering with a grand entrance. The slavers’ friend too stunned to move after the strike. With the first slaver down, she went straight for the other man, driving the blade into his knee before he could even think about getting up. Alexandria leaned her weight onto the handle of the blade, pushing it deeper.
“Where are they?”
“Where are who?”
“My kids.” She put more of her weight onto the handle, staring into his eyes as she did. “Where are they?”
“Boss has them. I’m only the one that grabs them. I don’t have any other role in the-“ She swung her fist, cracking it against his jaw. After the hit, she pulled her blade free and held the sword to their chest.
“And the boss is?”
“Right behind you.” A grizzled voice laughed. A hand went to wrap around her throat, only to miss as she ducked and sent an elbow flying into the man’s stomach. Alexandria glanced back at the man, noticing a dagger in the man’s scabbard. She pinched the dagger and drove it into his stomach.
“Attack before speaking. That would be my advice to you if you weren’t a dead man. Now I’ll ask once this only once. Where are my kids? The answer will determine how quick this all is.” Her attention was pulled away from the common slaver, focusing on their boss. She shoved the man to the ground and placed her foot on the wound, applying unhelpful pressure, digging the hell of her shoe against it.
“Go to hell.” He said, coughing up blood. Trying to keep some bravado in this situation.
Alexandria saw something strange on the man’s face. That split second smirk. She knew what was coming. Her back was turned and that idiot behind her had found a weapon. She could easily kill him before he attacked, but she wanted to give them a brief glimpse of hell before they went there. As the sword pierced her toned body, she didn’t even flinch, feeling the hot pain that she had felt hundreds of times. The confident grin of the boss fading as the grey-haired warrior still stood over him.
He couldn’t speak, but there was something about his look that amused her. The boss’s eyes were wide, filled with fear as he squirmed beneath her foot. Alexandria turned her head, peering over her shoulder at the slaver behind her. They had already released the sword and were fleeing back towards the dumb dumb rock. As they were about to escape, a small child jumped out wielding a sword nearly as big as herself. She swung it, almost taking her own arm off with the weapon. The blade collided with the slaver, hitting their side, throwing them to the floor.
“LUCY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”
“I… hah.. heard your voice, so I escaped from the rope they tied us up with.” She hunched over, panting, trying to get her breath back.
“Look away for a moment, dear.” She said as she placed her foot over the boss’s mouth, trying to muffle his screams as she killed him. Once she was done with the boss, she went over to the other slaver. Alexandria making quick work of them, too. When she turned back to Lucy, she could see her peeking through her fingers.
“Wow, you were so cool. You were like. Swing! Woosh, bang.” Lucy cheered.
“I was not like swing, whoosh and bang. It was swing, slash, chop.”
“Whatever, it was cool. When are you going to teach me that?”
“Aren’t you a little scared? You were just being held by slavers?”
Lucy placed a finger to her lip, thinking about it. Before responding with a loud.
“NOPE. I knew you would save me. Plus, Bronson escaped. It was only a matter of time before you got here.”
“Your confidence in me is charming. Now, where are the others?”
Alexandria followed Lucy to a tent, helping to free the others. When she finished freeing the last child, she found herself a little confused. Why did they all look so afraid of her? Had they heard the screams? Alexandria couldn’t help but feel a little self conscious about her warrior ways. She was trying so hard to be a good caretaker. Sadly, a scarred and one-eyed warrior didn’t make the most motherly figure.
“Um, Mom?” Lucy said.
“Yes, dear?” Alexandria felt her heart jump for joy at being called mom, those worries leaving her for a moment, as she crouched before Lucy. “What is it, dear?”
“You have a sword stuck in you… Wait, I’ll get it.”
Without wasting a moment, Lucy tugged on the sword, pulling it out, much to the horror of the other children. The others assuming they had just watched their caretaker get brutally killed in front of them. When the sword was pulled free, the wound closed.
“I’m ok. I promise. It’s a magic trick. Please stop crying.” Alexandria gave Lucy a cold, motherly stare. The child guiltily looking away, pretending not to notice it.
Eventually Alexandria calmed the children down, guiding them all home. As they neared the orphanage, she noticed someone had forced the door open. She released her grip on the children’s hands, rushing into the orphanage.
“WHO THE HELL IS IN HERE? I’M IN A BAD MOOD, SO UNLESS YOU WISH TO SEE YOUR OWN INSIDES I WOULD SUGGEST LEAVING.” She screamed, hoping she was out of earshot of the children. As she glanced around the room, she would notice a rather proud Bronson holding a fork while a man sat in her rocking chair, nursing his shoulder.
“Trent? What are you doing here?”
“Oh, hey. I just heard some slavers were in the area and wanted to warn you. When I noticed the door was locked, I assumed the worst and broke it open to offer my support. Well, seems you didn’t need my help. Your guard valiantly stabbed me with a fork.” Alexandria turned to Bronson, who triumphantly held his fork up, showing her. She let out a giggle as she walked over to Bronson, ruffling his hair before turning to her friend.
“You let yourself get stabbed by a fork? Your reflexes have gotten slow. Were all my years of training you for nothing? Also, what is with that beard? How do you ever expect to find a nice wife if you can’t keep yourself looking tidy? Oh, is that mud on your shoes, too?” Alexandria grinned, giving him a lecture. She could see him sliding down deeper into the chair, in more pain from the lecture than the fork wound. When she finished tormenting him, she finished it with. “It’s good to see you again, friend. I’ll be right back.”
“I kept him here all by myself.” Bronson smiled.
“Yes, you did. Now be a good boy and make sure the others are ok when they get inside.”
The rest of the children entered, Lucy still holding the sword that she had pulled from her mother. When she saw Trent, she threw the sword aside, jumping onto him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“Uncle Trent, it’s so good to see you again. I stabbed someone today.”
“Huh? Oh, um. That’s nice.” He said, patting her back, before giving the other kids a smile.
“Uncle Trent? Where?” Bronson muttered, staring at the man.
“Right here. How could you not tell it was him? He’s Mom’s friend. He used to travel with her a lot. She said he was hopeless. Remember?”
“Ouch, you didn’t have to repeat that part. I’m more of a historian than a fighter. It’s not my fault I’m a little hopeless with a weapon. I can carry my own in a fight, though.” He tried to defend himself. Wanting to remind them that being an adventurer was secondary to his work as a historian.
“Uncle Trent? You’ve gotten fatter.” Bronson said with a harsh, unfiltered bit of childish honesty.
“I didn’t know you had a beard.” Bronson joined the hug, getting on the other side of Trent.
“I thought it made me look more sophisticated. Don’t you agree?”
“It makes you look old.” Bronson responded.
“Ah. Maybe I should shave it.” He laughed, only to see Alexandria watching him, a smile on her face as she threw the bandages on his lap.
Aren’t you going to fix me up?”
“It’s just a scratch. You can handle it. I have to make sure the kids are alright, anyway. You can stay for dinner if you would like to, Uncle Trent.”
“Don’t you start calling me that, too.”
“You should be happy. It means they think of you as family. I guess you spend a lot of time around here. “
“Of course I do. I record history and you’re the best source of it I can find. No one else has lived-“
“Oh, right. Sorry. I should be going. I just wanted to make sure you’re safe.”
“Make sure I’m safe? I appreciate it, even if it’s unneeded.”
“Aww, you’re going already, Uncle Trent. I was hoping you would spar with me. Mom’s too strong.” Lucy whined.
“Next time. I promise. I’ll bring some presents too.”
“Yay. I want a castle.”
“A little out of my budget. How about a replica sword?”
“Yes. Make sure it looks dangerous.”
“What do I get?” Bronson asked.
“A new fork.”
“Aww, I don’t want a fork.”
“Fine, maybe I’ll find you something else. If you promise to behave.”
“Ok.” Trent stood up and made his way to the door, giving them a wave. “I’ll see you later. Maybe next week if I’m not busy.”
“Ok, bye Uncle Trent, sorry about stabbing you.” Bronson said.
“It’s ok. I appreciate the apology.”
When he left, Alexandria gathered the children, making sure they were all ok. When she was certain they weren’t hurt, she asked them what they would like to help cheer them up. Lucy tried to get the group to agree on a new sword, but she was outnumbered by the vote for cookies. A vote she wasn’t upset about losing. The kids went to play as Alexandria went to the kitchen, preparing the treats.
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2023.06.05 08:09 Polymath_V I had a nightmare about LSD that viciously reminded me why you should never trip near ledges or cliffs.
In my dream I met up with two childhood friends I haven't seen in years; Carlos and Shakare. We are all equally friends (one of those really fun trios) and I told them that we should all trip together. Carlos has anxiety in real life that is so bad he can't even handle THC and for some reason that is beyond me I persuaded him to try LSD in the dream. Note that in real life I am aware that LSD and psychedelics in general are not for everyone, and I would never push LSD upon someone, ESPECIALLY not someone who has any underlying psychological issues. But this was a nightmare so I guess my brain needed to thrown in some nightmare fuel.
Carlos eventually decided to try it with Shakare and I, so we made our way up the steps of an abandoned parking garage, and by the time we made it to the tenth level the acid was kicking in HARD. I have no idea how I can have dreams of tripping on acid that feel like the actual thing, but my brain does an amazing job at simulating both good and bad trips, even though I have never had a bad trip in real life.
Shakare was having the time of his life, riding the wave of the beginning of the trip and watching the sunset. Carlos was beginning to feel anxious, and so was I. Not only because Carlos was most likely going to have a bad trip, but because Shakare was sitting on the very edge of the concrete platform we were standing on. His feet were just freely dangling over this edge. There were zero fucking guard rails. He sat there for a while, smiling, moving his hands as a hippie would, just feeling the euphoria of oneness with the universe, and for a moment my fear subsided at the sight of him. It was heartwarming to watch, and then he leaned forward a little too much, and lost balance, and before he realized he had leaned past the point of being able to save himself, it was too late. My heart dropped right before he fell, and I knew without a doubt he was dead. Carlos witnessed it too, and I immediately started sobbing uncontrollably, wondering why the fuck I had the brilliant idea of bringing up LSD to begin with, and being responsible for not only the death of a close friend, but the shared trauma between Carlos and I. The dream was extremely vivid but the pain and horror of losing a friend so suddenly after what felt like such a heartwarming and somewhat peaceful moment was so jarring I woke up gasping for air. I was so happy it was just a dream, and it took me a few seconds to calm myself down. It was like that feeling you get when you almost get into a high speed car crash but dip out of the way at the last second.
Moral of the story: Don't trip on top of high places. Even if you are comfortable with the location, accidents happen, and psychedelics have an extremely fun way of being unpredictable even for veterans like myself.
My golden rules for tripping have always been:
- Never trip with someone you wouldn't take a bullet for.
- Never trip in public unless you are within walking distance of your home or a safe place.
- Never mix too many drugs together.
- Never peer pressure someone into doing psychedelics. Let only curious people try them.
- Never introduce someone to LSD on a large dosage. That is like chugging an entire bottle of whiskey as your first time drinking alcohol. Start with introducing them to microdosing in a SAFE place or a place that they are extremely familiar with.
Break any of those rules and you could face a lovely panic attack, jail time, psychotic episodes, trauma, and/or broken friendships.
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2023.06.05 08:08 CurrySushi 22M Trying to come out of my shell
Hello, I am an introverted Asian male as you would know as spam (shy passive asian male).
I've gotten better at accepting myself now yet I still have the biggest struggle of talking to new people.
I'm not looking for anything romantic, I am already taken and love my gf dearly, but I wish to be able to interact with others a little bit more so that she wouldn't have to worry about my nearly nonexistant social life. In fact, she was the first who suggested me to make a post here a while back to which I backed out because I was too scared.
I'm writing this now out of my own volition because I want to try this for myself. I don't expect to make long lasting friends here, though that would be nice, the fact that I was simply able to make this post myself makes me feel like I've made a huge accomplishment.
Some things about me, I have a passion for plants, and enjoy cooking, writing, dirt biking, kendo, boxing, swimming and gaming. Some games I've enjoyed included Valheim, Inscryption, Octopath Traveler, Ghost of Tsushima and Arknights.
[Aw geez is this written okay? When did I even start writing this? Hope I don't sound like a snobby jerk or anything.]
Thanks for hearing me out!
(In the case that I do get a reply just know that if I don't reply immediately, I'm probably just preparing myself mentally or making sure I don't write anything dumb lol. Sorry for writing so much)
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2023.06.05 08:07 aromatic_tassy AITA for kicking a boy in his groin because of his confession?
It happened around two years ago. I was 14 (F) and he was the same age. He was a bully in our school. He used to pick on everyone despite their age.
He picked on my 7-year-old brother several times for no utter reason.
He used to bully my friends, insult them and made them do his homework. Keep in mind that he always got the highest grades because he was indeed smart.
And whenever I tried to confront him for teasing my friends and brothers, he would simply ignore me and make his friends talk to me instead.
We were in 8th grade at that time and after midterms ended, he once called me to meet him. Unlike my friends, he never picked on me or even looked at me. It was as if I was invisible to him. I informed my best friend and she also didn't have a good feeling about this.
I met him near our school canteen and that's when he proposed to me. I was flabbergasted because a boy who never talked to me suddenly proposed his love for me. To me, it sounded cliche and I immediately thought this was a prank or something to make me embarrassed.
But soon I realized it wasn't a joke because of the way he was speaking. It felt genuine. But I never had any feelings for him, not I ever liked him even for a bit.
If you're an asshole to my friends and sibling then how do you expect me to like you?
I apologized and straight up told him no but he wasn't listening. And when I went to leave he grabbed my hand and forced me to stay until I say yes.
Ps. He was the only child and since he matched his parent's expectations and was firmly talented in various stuff, he always got what he wanted without any complaints.
I tried making him understand how and why I didn't like him but he didn't listen at all. Instead, his grip on my hand tighten to the point it started to hurt.
And that's when I lost it. I kicked him in the lower part and stormed off from there.
After that, he tried talking to me on multiple occasions but I ignored his every word and soon he stopped.
Instead, he sent me handwritten letters, flowers, chocolates, etcetera through his friends and he rarely picked on my loved ones.
To this day, he still sends me gifts. I don't often accept them. I recall once hearing his best friend comforting him and telling him how I am a dumb bitch to not understand his love.
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2023.06.05 08:07 Big-Row997 How to tell someone it's on them to organize our next hangout?
A friend and I were talking, and I noted I've been reading in the park a bunch. They said that sounds great, if you are ever in X park, let me know as I live near there now and it'd be nice to read with you. I let them know I rarely read in X park, but was in Y and Z pretty regularly (these are both a bit out of the way from X park). They then let me know they'd be up for 'swinging out my way' to read with me, additionally noting 'I'd like that :)' when saying we could read together. I let them know I'd keep them in the loop.
Since, I've invited them out twice. The first time they weren't in the city, the second they were but didn't see the message in time. Both times they didn't respond to my message until after sundown when I had messaged midday, and they are glued to their phone. So that felt specific.
How do I specifically note I wont be bothering messaging in the future, and if they'd like to do this they can message me noting when they are up for coming out my way? I'd like to do this in a kind way, but I'm not up for messaging continuously every time I go. Part of me is wondering If I'm just missing a social cue and this was akin to 'we should get together sometime' and not meant as a real invite to spend time together. Any thoughts?
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2023.06.05 08:05 SirSavant_ I recently became PIMO and don’t know what to do next…
Preface… oh goodness, you know it is a long post if I have to write “preface” first thing. Thank you so much to everyone who stays and reads!!!I’ve been a TBM guy for nearly my whole life (I left when I was a super depressed teenager 9 years ago, went back 7 years ago). Baptized at 8, priesthood of Aaron at 12. Applied to go on a mission at 18, was “honorably dismissed” from serving due to passed anxiety and depression issues.
Married at 19 (3 months after mission dismissal letter, 6 months of dating before marriage), baby at 20, divorced at 21 (she just wanted a baby but not me. I don’t have to pay alimony, just child support, so hoorah!). To be clear, I don’t regret my beautiful baby girl (I’ll call her “A”), but I do regret that I didn’t wait longer to a - know my ex better before getting married, & b - to know my ex better after getting married to have a baby. But, the past is in the past and I am doing everything I can to be an amazing father to that little girl of mine. Fast forward to today, I am now dating an incredible woman (I’ll call her “V”) and have been for nearly a year. She and I are TBM at this point in the story.
My current beliefs: I believe in Jesus Christ, the Atonement, resurrection, and opportunity for everyone to live in Eternity with their loved ones. I have no idea what Eternity looks like because Jesus hasn’t spoken about it in the bible (at least, not the parts that I’ve read. I’m reading the NKJV for the first time because I never had the chance in the BoM church). I don’t believe there is any one person on Earth who has God’s power and allows us to use it. I don’t believe God will condemn anyone for being part of the “wrong” church. I think the only thing that matters is genuinely trying to be a good person. I have no issue with personal beliefs and practices of other churches, members of this church, agnostics, atheists, LGBT community, etc… I know a lot of people here are atheistic or agnostic. Just like I respect your belief system, please respect mine.
Story time… 2 months ago, I was at an Institute class with V (not my class, just visiting her’s) and A was with us for visitation. A was restless and wanted to run around and play in the church halls like any 2 y/o girl does. So, I took her into the hall and quietly chased her around. This is when I heard one of the teachers pose the question/statement to his students: “isn’t it so sad when people leave the church?”
This question seemed so off to me. First, I feel absolutely no sorrow when people leave the church. They are simply choosing to follow their own belief system and to be their own individual person. Wasn’t Jesus super accepting and loving of everyone? Second, it seemed manipulative to me for a teacher to suggest to these college students, who are just figuring out life, that it is automatically a bad thing when someone leaves the church.
Anyway, being a TBM at the time, I had no idea why someone would want to leave the church. My concerns with that question was the first red flag I actually noticed. So, being an incredibly curious person, I decided to google it. Queue the smug looks of every exmo in this community who know what I found, haha! All of my research came from a place of trying to disprove the exmos and anti-mos wrong, so I focussed on diving deep into any topic that concerned me. Each point of research includes exmo, neutral, modern LDS, and LDS archive sources to ensure I had all of the information. Everything in this post I validated from church posts or archives unless I explicitly state otherwise. The CES letter beautifully summarized (is 130 somethings pages actually a summary though?) everything I was feeling and also addressed something things I don’t actually find concerning about the church.
So, my concerns boil down to the following: *The First Vision accounts of who Joseph allegedly saw. Did he see an angel, just Jesus/God/spirit as one being (God), both Jesus and the Father, or both of them and a host of angels? Why did it take him 20 years to tell anyone about it? Why does the church teach that he immediately told people about it when he didn’t? Why did the church actively tell members that he did NOT see God or Jesus, but an angel, for ~40 years after the vision? Any other details of the first vision itself are of no concern to me as it feels like he was simply discussing different parts of what happened. Yes, I’ve read each account.
*Joseph started off his youth by treasure hunting and defrauding people of their money using his peep/seer stone. Sure, he could have just been a kid who didn’t know what it was he was doing (scams) but also… this goes against what I was taught about him being the most honest person you could meet (the phrase “more honest than honest Abe” comes to mind for some reason).
*He used his peep/seer stone to “translate” a large part of the BoM. Most of his translation efforts didn’t require the BoM to be visible or even be near him. I always imagined he held the Urim and Thumim over the plates to see the characters transcribed, much like live google translate. Additionally, his mother recalled him telling stories about the Lamanites and Nephites before the BoM was a thing (I don’t remember my source on this one or if I validated it with church archives). The BoM has many parallels with another book that it may be heavily based on (I forgot the name). The BoM lifts text straight from the KJV and includes non-JST verses that Joseph later “corrected” for the JST.
*He later “translated” the Book of Abraham from Egyptian Papyri which were just ancient burial records. He later “translated” the Kinderhook plates but they were fakes that some of his “disciples” pranked him with. His ability to translate seems fake at best… and a fake ability is no ability in my book.
*Polygamy and polyandry. Do I even need to list any details here? The fact he started the practices before the “revelation” to do so was received, had to manipulate Emma into “letting him” do it, was caught cheating at least once (Emma documented it), married teens, married already married women, wasn’t sealed to Emma until he was already sealed to 20-something other women, never sealed to his parents or children, etc…
*SEC fines. I thought my tithing money was being used to help the poor and needy. It’s frustrating to know it is actually being used to run a business. Yes, the choices the church made were shady but were also comparable to many other businesses. My biggest problem here is the lack of transparency and that my money wasn’t being used for the Lord’s work. If I want to support a business I’ll invest time or money. I prefer not to be scammed out of it by being told it is being used for service and providing for thosein need.
*BITE model. I won’t even start listing any of the items in the BITE model I have issue with. I think about 90-95% of the BITE model red flags are met by the cult. I mean church.
I spoke briefly with V about this a week or so ago, during a camping trip in which we got to share a tent. She was concerned we were sinning but I expressed to her I wasn’t worried about it. I told her I was struggling with the church’s history and current practices. Jesus didn’t teach not to sleep together, he taught not to cheat. She wasn’t ready to discuss it further so we decided to set it aside and we slept side by side in the tent anyway.
A couple nights later, she was feeling sick and wanted to stay with me. Normally she has slept on my couch but she chose to sleep with me in bed. I took care of her that night and the next day and we haven’t slept together since. We also haven’t had sex or performed any sexual acts together. I have no issue with pre-martially sleeping and/or having sex with her as it is a committed relationship that we both are committed to making last (obviously, this isn’t cheating).
Fast forward to 2-3 nights ago. She wanted to stay over again but was feeling guilty and anxious about it. I expressed to her I don’t want to make her feel guilty of anxious about sleeping with me. I gave her a standing invitation to stay whenever she wants but that I would support her in not sleeping together. Then the topic of my beliefs came up again. I told her slightly more but she wasn’t (and still isn’t) emotionally prepared to hear my concerns with the church. She’s concerned my leaving the church would cause her to lose her connection with Jesus (I told her I want to attend a non-denominational christian church with similar morals and beliefs to ours). She asked that we both speak with our bishops and I agreed.
I expressed my concerns to my bishop and it went slightly better than expected. He shared a story about when he was a missionary. Two months in, he met a super aggressive anti-mormon who attacked their beliefs for 30-minutes straight. They left without saying a word. Bishop says he has many questions still but has chosen to “shelve” them for now. He basically told me two things: 1 - to read a particular talk about dissecting difficult questions with V. 2 - that I would have to grapple with this and come to my own conclusion. He’s just grateful I have a strong belief in Jesus, regardless of if I leave the church or not.
V spoke with her bishop and he is convinced I won’t leave. He doesn’t know me very well. He also doesn’t know I would leave in a heartbeat if V would come with me. I know my TBM family would accept my decision. When I left as a teenager they still loved me. When my brother left they didn’t shun him one bit. I know they would do the same for me. But V… I don’t know.
We both got blessings tonight (I honestly believe anyone living a good life who is trying to follow Jesus can speak in his name) and I felt so much peace as I contemplated the direction I want to take my life in… except for the part of not knowing if V will accept me. The young men who gave the blessing stated that “my father in heaven is proud of me” and I believe that is in regard to my dedication to knowing the truth about Jesus, accepting everyone for who they are (including mormons), and forgiving the church as it is God’s place to judge them and not mine.
I adore V and genuinely want to spend my life and eternity with her. She’s the only reason I’m PIMO and not exmo. She clearly, truly loves me. She and I have dreams of raising a small family together, we often laugh together (even when discussing difficult topics such as these ones), and we are able to communicate very well. But, when I’ve asked if she would stay with me if I left the church she skirts around the question and tells me she is confident I’ll come back before I leave. She’s never been afraid to hear the details of why I am struggling with something, until I brought all of this up to her. I really want to tell her what I am feeling and why. I wonder if she won’t agree and choose to find another church together if only she would take time to understand.
She wants both of us to meet together with her bishop because he has a similar style of communicating as I do. I think she might maybe be willing to hear my side if her bishop is there. I’m not sure he’ll actually give me a chance to say my side though. If he does, I’m not really convinced she won’t be torn apart between me and the church. We have agreed to take this one step at a time and to try to figure it all out piece by piece. We’re still talking wedding plans or even eloping if we both still feeling confident in us (I won’t let any marriage happens if we aren’t able to reconcile these differences).
Anyway, I’m just really not sure what to do next. Help? :’(
submitted by SirSavant_
to exmormon [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:04 Ofryxx Black screen with only cursor immediately following blue screen crash with error “ntoskrnl exe”
I’ve been trying to troubleshoot for a while now but nothing has seemed to work :[ any help? I can’t check the exact model of my pc (as i cannot access the settings) but it is an alienware. have already tried the ctrl + shift + windows key + B button combo to reset the drivers (I think that’s what it does but I can’t quite remember) as well as trying to launch in safe mode (it doesn’t seem to have worked?) and startup repair (gives me “Startup Repair couldn’t repair your PC Press “Advanced options” to try other options to repair your PC or “Shut down” to turn off your PC. Log file: D:\WINDOWS\System32\Logfiles\Srt\SrtTrail.txt”). I think my C: drive could be causing an issue here as when I turned on my pc directly after the blue screen it told me to sit tight as it was repairing my C: drive (certainly hope it didn’t mess anything up as my C: drive is where I store pretty much everything important). I’m not a tech savvy guy at allll so please break down things real simple like for me 🙏 thanks
submitted by Ofryxx
to techsupport [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:03 abrookee chance me poor white girl in stem
demographics: low income, white (technically half white and half asian but i’m going to claim white), divorced parents, from California
hooks: went to a performing arts high school, low income, legacy student, women in stem
intended major: comp sci or engineering (biochemical or biomedical)
stats: UW gpa 3.8 Weighted 4.8 (for ucs they only look at this gpa or a recalculated version of it) SAT: 660 ebrw 790 math took it once without studying gonna retake in august hopefully for a 1500+ possibly 1530+ superscored
coursework: took 12/15 aps offered 5 honors 12 aps (all 5s and 4s so far) 8 community college classes
rank: my school doesn’t rank but I know i’m in the top 9%
awards: -CM classical music awards and honors to the highest state and national levels (similar to abrsm if you know what that is) -music teachers association of california senior award -awarded money from boeing for making a rocket out of a soda bottle -national and state competitive dance titles
extracurriculars: -worked 2 part time jobs to support my family and younger siblings 1 was a manager position at subway 1 is a lifeguard at a local water park -attended an arts school where i went to school for like 10-15 hours a day. performed in over 60 shows in my highschool career (not including freshman year because covid) -performed 15 shows at the major theatre in my city lead and supporting roles -competitive dancer performed in 4 shows a year and 8 competitions -TAed for calculus and tutored students in math -worked as a student music teacher -graduating with a biliteracy seal in mandarin and iworked as a translator for foreign students at a summer school near me -helped start a science nhs chapter at my school (kinda a weak ec) i raised the money to pay for the club lol -generic nhs and csf + some random service hours
essays: i think my essays are strong esp my common app. it’s about why i love taking out the trash LOR: honestly probably mid
schools: mit, harvard, yale, stanford (legacy), usc (legacy), udub, ucberk, uci, ucsd, ucsb, ucsc, cal poly slo
submitted by abrookee
to chanceme [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:02 sysadnoobie Looking for a flat in Sector 15
Hi everyone, I'm shifting to Gurgaon in a month and I'm looking for a 1BHK fully furnished flat near Sector 15 (max within 2kms). Let me know if you have any leads
Thanks in advance
submitted by sysadnoobie
to gurgaon [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:01 mobint Help me throw a party
Your boy’s turning 27 this Saturday. I was a loser and ran away alone on a trip last year because i was going through serious mid life crisis. I let down a lot of people.
I want to throw a party this Saturday for my near dears. I have like 15 people on this list and expecting some to bring +1, so let’s say 20.
Budget - 20k
Options 1. Terrace - but i live in a rental and neighbours might have a problem with this, can I get a permission for this? I also need info on anybody who could set up a few lights and decor on the terrace 2. The house itself - main issue, the house will get real dirty. Neighbours might complain too but that’s common with terrace too 3. Get a villa with a pool - tell everyone it’s a byob and have mixers and food arranged. But places are too expensive. 15k is the base. Maybe without pool will also work.
Please help me out with more options or if you can help one of these options get materialised.
submitted by mobint
to gurgaon [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:00 scarlett_crypto FUCK YOU LEVI
FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU FOR FUCKING MONTHS AND NEVER GIVING ME A CHANCE WHEN YOU KNEW ALL THAT TIME THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU. I GAVE EVERYTHING AND ALL OF MY EMOTIONS AND YOU GAVE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BACK. AND YOU STAYED BECAUSE YOU NEED ME TO GET OVER YOUR EX AND I STAYED BECAUSE I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU. nothing you ever did was for me. and i knew it the whole time that you never cared anyway. i just went along with it. always. because i didn’t want to stop being “fake loved.” i just wanted to be near you. and now i’m just trying to do anything to get away from you. how funny.
submitted by scarlett_crypto
to teenagersbuthot [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:00 nerdnomad1_ Priorities change in Friendship too. Please read till end please.
I joined my college last year feb. And the course I joined was the course I hated the most. But as my school friend( class 5 to class 8 then he got transferred but we were in touch till 12th) asked me if I am willing to join that course. I said yes. The reason was that he was my only friend and I didn't have any friend after class 8th. So I thought I'd be happy. He is a kind of extrovert though. He joined a college society. As he was living near delhi so he was travelling daily from home to college. And I was living outside delhi so I was staying in pg. Owner didn't allow any outsider for night stay. But sometime he had performances early in morning so I made him stay at my pg . And somehow my pgmates came to know that and complained to the owner. Itna sunaya na usne ki bs ...In November he told me ki lets take a flat. I agreed. We shifted. I was happy too ki ab toh time dega mujhe .( I was damn homesick). But uske wahi college society ke dost ,unke saath ghoomna. Subah 9 10 nikal jaata tha aur raat ko 9 10 aata hai. And in between this time I live alone. Shaam ko aate hue bhi apne doston ko le aata hai and bas unhi ke saath fir baat wagerah karta hai. No time for me. Aur uska ghar bhi paas hai toh friday saturday sunday ghar chala jaata hai. Tab bhi I am alone . Bhai mushkil hota hai kaatna time akele. I feel like crying par use bol bhi nahi sakta. Use lagega ki jealous hai ya freedom nhi deraha. What to do now. I feel like crying every day. Ab toh uske lie I am nothing now. Use bas ek room mate kj jarurat thi woh mai bangaya. Priorities changes yr. I know bhot lamba hogaya but I felt like sharing it.
submitted by nerdnomad1_
to delhi [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:00 jackalopings mid 2010's teen novel, romance
Read this a few years back (but pre-pandemic I think). follows the story of these two teens, one is a Junior in highschool (f) the other a Senior (M). The Boy is adopted, and his parents foster kids pretty frequently, and the current kid they're fostering is super quiet and doesn't talk. The girl has no memorable traits to me. But the two meet and they talk a lot (I think near a church?) but while the girl is talking to the guy shes also talking to this other dude online (I want to say his name is ethan?) and starts to fall for him a bit (but she also likes the senior). Eventually she ends up meeting up irl with the online guy and hes kind of a catfish. Once she gets in his car he starts getting really creepy and when she tries to escape he grabs her wrist really hard and starts threatening and she shares her location with the senior so he can save her. I've been searching everywhere for it but I can't find it.
submitted by jackalopings
to whatsthatbook [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 08:00 spencethemench My experience so far
Hi. So I'm Wilbur, the body's host. Im 22 like the body, and a trans masc individual. I have been open with my DID/OSDD related experiences to close friends since around September of last year, though have been questioning events and actions far longer, spanning many years of dissociation and a horrendously shitty memory. I have very little to no communication with my alters (I prefer to call them my headmates) but my partner, also a system often will talk with them and one of them has even adopted my partner (the host of their system) as his son.
I have never quite had the experience of being one place, blanking out and being somewhere else. But whenever someone else fronts I feel like I "go back" and am kind of watching from afar but am not in control. Most of my system is full of fictives. (Which is an immediate faking red flag, I know.) Prior to a switch or someone else being near the front, I will be in a very dissociated state and very out of it. Prior to exploring plurality, I would lose hours, days and weeks of my life due to intense dissociation.
The body was diagnosed with GAD, depression in the teens. Due to our repeated and continued trauma I have not been able to go to therapy or any such things to seek help. I am also disabled and unable to get a "normal" job. My partner has seen me switch and I have little to no memory loss prior to switches, though sometimes the amnesia barrier will be there. All the alters have different names, accents and different wants and likes. It's been very scary and isolating as somedays will be loud and chaotic and then sometimes it'll go a week on of radio silence. Navigating it hasn't been fun and I was hoping to find some people who relate.
submitted by spencethemench
to DID [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 07:58 cleyooo Chronic Laryngitis Issues
Hi everyone, sorry if this is a super common type of post.
I'm kind of at my wits end. My laryngitis seems to be triggered by over-use of my vocal chords. However, I don't feel I overused them in order to be dealing with this flare-up. I basically added 2 extra hours to my daily work schedule last week, in the mornings, then worked normally at night. I do work that requires me to speak slightly louder than usual, but not much.
I'm aware that it's probably a case of an underlying issue making my larynx more sensitive to over-use, however, it's been months since I have dealt with a flare-up, and I've been carrying on business as usual. My ENT didn't see signs of acid reflux (silent or no). I've been smoking at the end of the day usually, and only one or two sessions.. and less days than usual, actually.. I stay hydrated, avoid caffeine for the most part, etc.. you get the drill.
I've heard the typical advice you'd find from google (and friends and family eurgh lol), as well as from multiple ENTs.
Anyone else dealt with this sort of thing? I want to keep doing the things I want to do - smoke occasionally (not a regular cigarette smoker iykwim), drink maybe once a month, and do my job normally without having to take time off to recover from just 2 extra hours a day -_-
Maybe I need to see an ENT again - it just gets frustrating when you are already doing what they advise and it's still bad. (I know I'm not doing those things now but I've been dealing with this for nearly 2 yrs on and off)
Any new perspectives or advice would be appreciated. All the best
submitted by cleyooo
to mildlybrokenvoice [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 07:58 Tappy80 Husband (40s M) finally admits to not loving me (40s F) for literally 5 years and counting…he just never bothered to tell me until tonight
What the actual fuck! We have been married for nearly 20 years. He finally admitted it. We have had lots of issues, and I always ask- why do you do this stuff? Do you still love me? Do you still care about me? The answer is always an emphatic yes from him. It is always- I love you, I care about you…you don’t listen and believe me, blah, blah, blah. I moved from state to state on the promise that he loves me, against my better judgment, bc compromise is required in a marriage and we are a family. Between the constant moves and staying home to care for my young kids, I’ve lost career opportunities, friendships, family relationships. I don’t live close to any family, and I am constantly trying to make new friends. We have moved every few years for the last 20 years. His timeline of when he stopped loving me means he didn’t love me when we conceived our second child. Why would he lie to me for years and allow me to follow him around the country to my own detriment? Was it bc I was useful? Does he even see me as a human being? I am so devastated. He flat out lied to my face for so long. Why would anyone do this to someone else, especially their spouse? I feel numb. I feel like my life is a lie and I have fucked up my life. I feel like my life is over. I don’t understand where to go from here. I don’t even know where to start. I don’t know how to live the rest of my life knowing this happened to me. He will be just fine with his job making almost a million a year (yes, you read that correctly) living where he wants to live and probably meeting someone new immediately. And I am a woman in my 40s with two kids, no job, and starting over. Luckily I have my degrees, but I have to get licensed in this state. It is all just so much.
submitted by Tappy80
to Marriage [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 07:57 LessPlum2168 I resent my family
I’m going to keep ages somewhat vague because I’ve seen seeing so many of these posts end up on tiktok, and both of my siblings use the app religiously. I (later teens), have a younger brother and an older sister (she’s in her late twenties I think). I’m sorry if this is kind of a mess, I’m pretty tired.
My family is the definition of dysfunctional. Nobody communicates, nobody helps one another, it’s just everyone on survival mode. And I’m the biggest victim of this. I’ve always been the black sheep of the family; I get picked on and yelled at the most when something mildly inconvenient happens. I cant even begin to recall how many times I’ve had to sit through the same “I do everything around the house” cryfest from my mother when she blows up and screams at anyone who even tries to help. We all just wait for the next tantrum on baited breath, and even then we’re all against one another still. Unravelling every family member’s flaws would take forever, which is why I found a rather comical comparison. Excluding my sister and her family from the picture, my family is like family guy. My father is lazy and doesn’t do anything to contribute. He just complains and complains. My mother is irate and overall a shitty person. My brother is the golden child who gets treated slightly better than me, and I have all my achievements and aspirations spat on and belittled in a “shut up Meg” type of way. I promise you I merely say this to try and cope by joking.
My mother is the most abusive to me. She always has been. She refuses to cut my hair despite how much I beg. My hair is naturally extremely thick, and my entire body aches after trying to wrangle it in showers. There’s been times I’ve nearly blacked out from how much effort I put in trying to keep it semi presentable. When it got really bad she would make an effort to embarrass me and shame me, and would yank on it with the brush. I had to hold back genuine screams of agony. It got to a point where I cried in the shower from the relief I felt when I had it cut. The problem is that it grows back really fast and it’s already getting hard to take care of again.
My brother and father are just useless. They belittle the women in the house and do nothing but eat and play video games all day. No matter how much we beg them to help, they do nothing. My father is an angry and abusive man. He’s not physically abusive, but he’s neglectful and verbally assaults anyone who makes him feel insecure. He’s a pathetic manchild and he’s teaching my brother to be the same way.
My sister has made everything worse. I’m always teetering on hating her guts and loving her. It makes me so angry. She’s had children when she was in a poor financial situation, and it’s come back to bite her on the ass big time. She’s stuck with a boyfriend who is also a manchild raising genuinely psychotic children. She recently moved to my state and stupidly decided to have a third child while already trying to financially recover from moving across the country just to live close to us. Now they’re at rock bottom struggling to find a home and are forced to live with us, making this house chaotic and a nightmare for my easily overstimulated ass. I hate her children, they make huge messes and bring home countless viral infections which have left me bedridden during most of my leisure time, and it’s driving me nuts. And their pets have done nothing but worsen my already bad allergies. Im miserable. My life is hell. I have no possible way of escape and sometimes I just consider running away to make it all end. All of these people are bigots and would disown me and leave me homeless if they learned I was queer, which is a death sentence where I live now. I try so hard to be the level-headed moral compass and the most accepting person, but it’s just so damn tiring. I live in constant paranoia, fear, and misery. I just wish my family was normal. I wish I had a clean home and am accepting family that lets me hang out with my friends. I know I sound selfish but I want to be allowed to play games like my brother too, I want to be able to go to restaurants and have things that actually cater my interests, and not the interests of everyone else around me. I hate spots, I hate guns and America and salt life, and yet it’s all they get me. None of that is nearly as important as the more toxic aspect of my family, but it’s still upsetting. I feel more like an accessory than a living, breathing human being. I just want to get out.
submitted by LessPlum2168
to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 07:56 Longjumping-Bat-7210 Iphone won't turn on after fall
So this has already happened twice to me, in the past three days, So this last Friday, my phone 13 mini had taken a small drop, (which has happened countless times and nothing has happened to it) but this time after that drop it just suddenly won't power on, my phone was in its case and didn't take any sort of physical damage, I took in to a reputable repair shop, that my insurance company (SquareTrade by Allstate) recommended to me and they were able to get it back in just a few minutes, they said it needed a sort of jumpstart which is apparently common, everything was fine until just a few hours ago today, it took another fall, while it was in its case, (and it took no physical damage) but once again the phone won't power on, I've already tried doing a forced reset but it won't do anything, does anyone know what I should do? thank you
submitted by Longjumping-Bat-7210
to iphonehelp [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 07:56 Ituks Manager disciplined me abs issued an ultimatum as I was getting ready to discuss performance and promotion - what now?
I work in a fairly new industry in my dream job, with a role that is rapidly expanding and has the opportunity for several world firsts. About 3 weeks ago, my manager abruptly called a meeting where he said "we" were nearing the end of our patience over start times. I didn't previously see this as an issue because I'm frequently required to work very long hours due to managing multiple staff with hours ranging from 8am to 7pm. Seeing how serious he was, I immediately agreed to show up and leave at the given times each day. This has reduced my output, but my manager seems to be placated. I am fully aware the company is taking advantage of me, but I feel like I've grown a lot into the role, so I see it as an opportunity. I was actually getting ready to meet with him to pitch my case for promotion when this happened, as my contract did not stipulate managing others. Being chewed out without a single word about my achievements has really put me down, and another coworker confronted me about it today asking if something had happened because I seemed so negative over the past few weeks.
I would normally evaluate other options, but this job means a lot to me and it's the culmination of everything I've been working towards my entire life. I want to sit down with HR and my manager and try to explain myself, but I'm afraid to even talk to my manager after that event. What's the best way to breach the topic of feeling underappreciated and being disciplined at the same time? This is the fastest I've ever gone from loving a job to feeling stressed enough that everyone else is noticing.
Edit: typo in title: 'abs' should be 'and'
submitted by Ituks
to careeradvice [link] [comments]