Back at the end of last year I had a series of weird things happen that I’m trying to process/get some insight on. It started a few months after I began experimenting with magic mushrooms. I had taken a fair amount of mushrooms before these events happened and hadn’t experienced anything out of the ordinary even taking probably close to 7 grams in a period of 2 hours or so - and did not have too heavy of a trip) I decided to start dosing before work which I figured would be chill as (like I said) I had already experimented and did not get visuals or feel particularly out of control. In fact it felt like I was a lot more in tune with my surroundings even driving and stuff.
With that said, I started taking about 1 gram or so every couple days and around this time is when I met Sue - a homeless woman who would come into our coffee shop almost daily while I was barista-ing. I was immediately intrigued by her and we became fast friends. She told me she was 67, half miwok Indian, half polish, and she was always dressed in a colorful outfit, beautiful rings, with her nails painted. She’d tell me about her tarot readings and we’d share a cigarette while I was on break. It was clear when I met her she probably had some type of mental illness going on because she would sometimes talk loudly about arch angel michael, money from god, and things that didn’t make a lot of sense to me, but I tried to remain open minded and curious with her. I even offered her mushrooms but she refused saying she had “enough spiritual stuff going on in her life.”
One day, after a particularly interesting conversation with Sue, I disappeared off to run an errand for my boss, when I came back Sue was gone and my boss handed me a tattered book. it was “A Life in Drama” a biography on Shakespeare or something of the like, and the outside of the book was covered in cryptic pen drawings like I’d never seen before. There was an inscription “June Sue I learn from you!” Which immediately brought me back to the first day I met her. She had drawn me and I had told her loved that I loved her name - she told me I should add it to my name and I agreed with her.
“your guardian anglebirth” it read. And there was a sparrow hawk, trees, a ship all sort of in abstract pen drawing. On the front, in small ink, less than an inch, there was an almost abstract looking shape and in the center was the word “love” - she never told me what the shape was as she didn’t remember drawing it but later my therapist suggested it as a picnic basket. Anyway, a few days later I went and had it tattooed on my arm because I loved it.
I was in the process of quitting my job around this time so I wasn’t seeing Sue as often which prompted me to think about when to go visit her. I was in no hurry to show her, I knew when the time was right I would go.
A few afternoons later, after taking about a gram of mushrooms I bought 200$ worth and then went to see her. It was around this time that day I started hearing voices I thought at the time were god and the mushrooms themselves.
It’s been a while since this all happened so my memory is a bit blurry, though I did write down most of what happened shortly thereafter. Anyways, there was something about Sue that I trusted. I really wanted to show her my mushrooms so I took her to my trunk. All I remember is sitting in the back of the trunk with her and all of a sudden these crazy lilac purple lights start shining down on me like I’m on a stage? This is in broad daylight on the street. I remember there was like a little noise they made I think, and it felt like i was in the twilight zone. It was so bizarre - I’ve never experienced anything remotely like it. And the only place they really shown down on was my face and neck (where I had lots of acne). As I’m like, what the fuck is going on Sue looks over and says something along the lines of “many gifts are coming to you.” ( like I said, never experienced ANY visions before and having Sue acting like she saw the light too makes me feel like something weird is going on. )
Later on back in her tent all of a sudden I start experiencing the most insane pain but it’s not physical. To this day I don’t know how to describe it but I was deeply uncomfortable to the point where I am SCREAMING in this woman’s tent and she’s telling me to quiet down so the cops don’t come and commit me. After that she gave me water, food, and it kind of felt like she could read my mind which is a phenomena I experienced a lot the next few days. Everything I needed she provided. I was completely depleted and weak. She was yelling at mysterious powers saying “earthangel June (me) does not deserve this!!” She told me I had been divinely poisoned by the mushrooms because I had not blessed them before ingesting them. Later that night she also tells me that her tarot cards told her a young woman would come to visit her and that I was she.
I slowly came down a bit. Sue offered for me to spend the night, but I knew I wanted to go back home, though it was past midnight when I got home. I don’t remember much of the mundane time between - The next morning I woke and headed back to her where I spent another full day and find out both me and my dads debit cards aren’t working, and Sue is unsurprised (I’m starting to believe in this weird matrix of energy she’s talking about and feel like I’m targeted when I’m around her, or that she has some sort of bad luck) She dropped many lessons about God, energy, and demons and doing readings for people, which I started to come around to that day. I noticed that even people I would have avoided or felt unsafe with on my own, respected her or at least stayed away from her. I have a vivid memory of her saying “watch this!” And then with a lasso motion zapping me energetically so hard it makes me wince. That day Sue piled heaps of designer clothes into the trunk of my car which had been donated by the wealthy. As she does this she handed me a piece of paper that had printed on it what I later find out is a piece of “They’re made out of meat” by Terry Bison.
They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "Meat. They're made out of meat." "Meat?" "There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat." "That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars." "They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines." "So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact." "They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines." "That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat." "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."
She asked me if I remember the guy who comes into our coffee shop with a helmet on sometimes, and I say yes, and she suggests he might be an alien because she found this on the table after he left.
It is clear to me now that day, November 29th I was beginning to open the question - who am I? I’d been curious of my lineage but also potential past lives.
I went back home that night and At 2am still hopped up from the mushrooms I put on some clothes Sue had given me and got in my car feeling called to drive aimlessly. After 15 minutes I reached a glowing indigo Hyatt sign and immediately pulled in. I had just quit my Hyatt job and figured at the very least it could be a job opportunity for me there (as I had just quit working at a Hyatt)
When I got there a short, beautiful, and politely unassuming woman greeted me at a desk amidst a beautiful well light welcoming room. She appeared to be completely alone and I immediately felt safe and welcomed by her, though I quickly revealed I wasn’t quite sure why I had intended to show up to the hotel. I went with the flow, the woman asked me if I’d rather be at a cheaper Hyatt down the road and I immediately refused. I went to use the restroom, when I came out there was a single strangely menacing, yet friendly guard.
I hung around aimlessly, asking if I could sit on the marble countertops - dressing and acting as if completely in a trance and unashamed of myself and still high on mushrooms. The woman discouraged me because I think I would’ve been seen on the cameras. Instead, I sat down on a comfortable couch and began to converse with her. I felt She was gentle and good hearted but I also felt we were deeply on the same wavelength somehow. She asked me about my life, and I vaguely mentioned it was changing deeply - referring to my experiences with Sue and Psylocibin, without mentioning them. I stared deeply and intently at her, listening to her talk a bit, while in my head I asking questions in my mind “who will I have children with?” “Where do I belong in this life?” Feeling desperate and exhausted by those questions.
The woman picked up her can of bright red coke with both hands, 3 fingers facing up on either side, and told me the answers would come to me in a dream. I broke out into surprised, joyful, and astounded laughter and exclaimed “holy shit!” Because in my state it seemed like she was totally clued into what I had going on. Then she said what translated to my trancelike state as something along the lines of, “this isn’t my first rodeo.”
At this point, I’m still in an altered state and believe this hotel is somehow heaven?
Once our conversation was over, we took the elevator up together, (I think she knew I was high and wanted to make sure nothing went wrong.) I asked for a room on the 4th floor, but she said an entire childrens soccer team was residing and that she’d give me the third. I laughed and thanked her. She asked me a few questions, I don’t remember what they were, but they were easy to answer and I only remember her saying “we just want to make sure what you took was clean.” I’m not sure what she meant by this looking back, but in the moment I thought she was asking me because there was something she didn’t want to share with me if the mushrooms I had taken weren’t safe. Like she wanted to check my purity or something (though I could be imagining that)
She lead me to my room, said I could leave the door open, with the latch, when I wanted to come down, and did not give me a key and then she said that she’d be with me all night long.
I put my things down, and immediately began to look at myself in the luminescent hotel room mirrors feeling a deep pain and sadness. I slowly and delicately put my hair up, washed my face carefully, got undressed and began to massage lotion into my skin for some reason?
Then I looked in the mirror and began to squeeze the gunk out of my skin, believing that I am somehow ridding myself of ancestral curses - famine, disease, rape, pain. I started to form a story line around potential past lives. I’ll spare y’all the details of the rest of my episode because a lot of it still doesn’t make much sense to me. But besides the light I saw, it’s little coincidences that I keep coming back to in my mind that are so strange.
Like, The next day I get a haircut, the barber is an eclectic guy and mentions my evil twin sister (something Sue also did) for no apparent reason (I’ve never met the guy before) afterwards I go to the kava bar and immediately meet a random girl who also seems to be in the middle of a psychotic episode. She starts talking about conspiracy theories and stuff and she tells me she is secretly a native woman who just appears to be a black woman. Then she pulls out a pendulum and refers to it as “this thingy” I’m a bit surprised because the night before Sue had shown me how to use one to read yes, no and maybe.
I take my new friend Candace back home with me (she reveals to me she has another name she only shares when she feels safe) I don’t remember what it was but when I introduce her to one of my roommates as Candace he says “oh no it’s something more ancient than that” which I find really weird because he’s never met her before (how would he know she had a second name?) and it’s just a weird thing to say in general.
I forget I have a therapy appointment that day and am all of a sudden skeptical of my therapist, Candace briefly meets her and then tells me “she was divinely sent” which makes me feel less paranoid and I remember expecting her to say something of the like.
It’s also around this time I find 3 dead birds on a bike ride on the ground (3 different species) within exactly 11 minutes and they seem to stand out enough to maybe be trying to tell me something. I asked my friend who is a medicine woman to interpret the meaning, and it feels pretty on point to what happened looking back.
In retrospect, not necessarily everything I’ve shared means something extra-ordinary, but I’m curious to hear some other thoughts on what happened, and the context.
I put my things down, and immediately began to look at myself in the luminescent hotel room mirrors feeling a deep pain and sadness. I slowly and delicately put my hair up, washed my face carefully, undressed and began to massage lotion into my skin for some reason?
Then I looked in the mirror and began to squeeze the gunk out of my skin, believing that I was somehow ridding myself of ancestral curses - famine, disease, rape, pain. I started to form a story line around potential past lives.
I laid down in the bed, bluntly put, grabbed my vibrator, and spent hours with a voice in my head I believe to be the woman. She was gentle, wise and delicate, and when I touched myself I felt it was not me but her.
She told me things I wanted to understand about original biblical references, the creation of Adam and Eve, or whatever names they were, and I saw and felt at times, that I was birthing other creations amidst the quiet, deep intense, solitude of our connection. It was deeply lovely. I looked at the clock and had an innate sense our time was coming to an end. Completely naked and feeling nothing but gratitude, love, and wonder, I opened the curtains and looked out at the most beautiful cloudy sunrise. I felt I was looking directly at god and not a word had been said all night inside the room. It was one of the most beautiful things ID ever seen - I was truly in it, and I just knew.
I forgot, that when I had first checked into the room I had texted the man I was sleeping with, whom I loved, but was feeling confusion around as we were staying only casually connected. I regrettedly called him back (he had tried to call me earlier after I had sent him a series of cryptic texts like “some really cool shit is happening call me when you can.”) I asked him if I could come over, he said “I have some things to do today, can it wait?” I said “no” “he said I guess I can make the time then, or something along those lines.” Still in a complete trancelike state, I got in the car and frantically drove to his house without any real permission, which is painful to think about in retrospect.
When I got there, I unassumingly rang the doorbell and he happily let me in as if, or as I thought, he’d been expecting me.
I crawled into bed with him and felt safe again, like I had with Sue and with the woman whose name I had learned was Alexandria. I thought I could relax, but then immediately sex ensued again, and I felt both more and less control than I usually did when I was not in this strange state.
I don’t remember much except screaming and crying loudly, calling his name and telling him I loved him (which I had never done before) and I remember him saying it back to me.
I could feel my spiritual energy was so strong he was responsive to it which was terrifying as it was so new to both of us. In retrospect, I feel we were-him most of all, somewhat blind to what was happening. Sue had told me we had the power to hypnotize men, but I didn’t think I would be doing that so soon.
Before I knew it he asked me if I had a condom. I said no only in my car outside. And he pulled out what almost appeared to be a flaming red one directly after asking me if I had mine. I don’t remember putting it on or taking it off. I asked if he’d had sex with anyone else and he said “last week” which was strange and hurt me because I thought we had been sort of accidentally exclusive for the majority of our relationship together - later he revealed he had not had sex. I recall holding his hand and showing each other the birth of creation, me showing him love perhaps, feeling balls of light and darkness as stars circle each other before they explode. After that I only really remember being on top of him, me in complete control, asking him to cum, him saying “I can’t” and then having a massive horrible realization, looking him straight in the face and saying, “ohhhhh you’re the devil aren’t you? You’re beautiful. Oh my god you’re beautiful.” He looked so beautiful and I held his face. Then I was professing my love for him again and again and again even though my heart was breaking as I did because I somehow knew the face looking at me was not capable of love. The rest was a confusing blur. I don’t remember much about leaving him except that it hurt me probably more than the spiritual pain I had experienced in the tent. I felt completely and utterly alone, heart broken, and terrified. Rattled, and in a daze I pulled up my phone directions, and drove for what felt like 20 minutes until I saw a beautifully insane woman, head hung low, dressed in black, almost like a shadow, sitting on the curb, both feet in the road. I slowed down, rolled my window, and asked for Sue. She said yes she’s already at the place with the TV, and she said she wanted something in return. She went to reach for my Bluetooth adapter and without question, I handed it to her. I had learned not to be afraid to lose things, my love and life was the only thing that mattered to me.
I drove onward, got on the freeway, and in memory, passed exits I recognized over and over again driving for what felt like an hour, miserable and screaming and crying in pain and fear, windows rolled down wind recklessly pushing and pulling at me, and calling out for Sue, understanding I was time traveling. I remember most vividly seeing the words “Richard blvd” (the name of my exit to Davis” at least twice between sacramento exits. I attempted not to doubt, only to trust, I would arrive home, though I was terrified for my physical and spiritual lives.
I don’t remember much about arriving home. I only remember being deeply relieved to be somewhere familiar again.
I would stay in this state a few more days…until my parents pulled me out, I believed my mother had died and I felt such agony I was screaming in the room of my house, my roommates rushing in to comfort me. I was not in control enough of myself to remain on those realms in any capacity after the days I had been through. I needed to be recaptured reraptured in love only my family could give me. And I am forever grateful they took me home to them.

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Since its inception more than three decades ago, the Indian television industry has grown to be the biggest in the entire world, with over 800 channels broadcasting a variety of programs ranging from news, sports, movies, cartoons, and of course, the wildly-popular Indian TV serials. Officially launched in 1982, the move to television soon replaced the beginning of the film industry in India, which had once been the leading form of entertainment.
Indian TV serials, also known as Soap Operas, are some of the most widely watched programs in the country. These long-running stories trace the life of a particular set of characters and their relationships with each other, often involving melodramatic narratives and social commentary. According to a study by Broadcast Audience Research Council (BARC) India, the top 5 most popular serials across the country are Balika Vadhu, Yeh Rishta Kya Kehlata Hai, Diya Aur Baati Hum, Veera and Taarak Mehta Ka Ooltah Chashma.
One reason why these programs enjoy such immense popularity is because they represent the traditional culture of India. Despite the rise of western influence, Indian TV serials have been able to maintain the cultural values of the country. Indian families, especially the older generation, take great pride in the patriotic and religious stories featured in these serials kumkum bhagya written updates.
Another reason for their success is the fact that these shows offer viewers a daily dose of entertainment. For those who work all day and come home feeling exhausted, watching a soap opera is the perfect way to relax and unwind. Moreover, Soap operas are known to give people a sense of comfort since they are often based on situations that are quite relatable.
However, TV soap operas are not completely free from criticism. Many people especially from the younger generation, complain that these programs promote shallow values such as dowry, class distinction, and casteism. Traditional Indian values are often used as a ploy to gain the attention of viewers and create drama, thus objectifying relationships and diluting the overall quality of entertainment. Women are also often given a limited role when it comes to Indian TV serials, with their characters mostly featuring as average-looking housewives who appear to exist solely for the purpose of taking care of their husbands and kids.
Regardless of the validity of the previous critique, these TV serials have found a strong foothold in India. They are here to stay, and are even expanding into the digital space with streaming services such as Amazon Prime and Netflix producing original content. Recent studies have also shown that these programs manage to reach millions of viewers per episode, thus proving that Indian TV soap operas are still a vital form of entertainment for Indian television viewers.

I purchased my (I believe possibly female?) leopard gecko on April 20th (not sure of exact hatch date).
Pic 1-3 taken yesterday Pic 4-6 taken 2 days ago Pic 7-8 taken May 27 Pic 9 taken May 9 Pic 10 taken May 4 Last 4 pics taken April 20
Husbandry: -soil/sand mix until replaced with paper towels yesterday -warm side 85°-90° / cool side 75°-78° -humidity kept around 40% -Arcadia shadeweller T5 uvb -halogen bulb for heat during day, ceramic bulb at night -calcium w/o d3 kept in a small cap in her enclosure
Usual diet before current symptoms: -mostly small dubia roaches, silkworms, black soldier fly larvae, crickets (recently stopped feeding crickets and waiting for order of grasshoppers to arrive) - occasionally hornworms, mealworms and small superworms -once a week I offer 3 wax worms as a treat but she doesn’t particularly enjoy them
Important info: - May 4 pic (pic # 10), I was feeding her when one of the bigger dubia roaches that I feed my adult leos fell into her enclosure along with the small one I intended to drop in there. She snatched the big one up before I could get it back out. She acted like she had a hard time swallowing it - pointing her head up to the ceiling and kept opening her mouth. My husband had duty that evening so I was alone with our 5 kids and no vehicle since he drove it to work. Since I was unable to get her to an emergency vet, I did what I had previously read in one of my leopard gecko care sheets which was slowly give her water with a syringe to help her get the dubia down. She eventually got it down and went back to normal. She never seemed to have any issues again, meaning her stools/urates were totally normal and she continued eating the following day or two.

• May 27th (pic 7 & 8) somewhere in those few days she ceased eating but was still passing regular stools and urate. She was due for a shed very soon so I figured it was due to that.
  
• Between May 27th until Tuesday she had begun to appear bloated/thicker around her mid-section and her eyes were usually closed. Her eyes, I assumed may have possibly been due to substrate or shedding so I changed her back to paper towels (also so I could monitor her stool/urate output better). Her eyes are not cloudy and there is no discharge. As of yesterday, she does not lay down completely. She has her lower body completely on the ground, but her upper body, she used her arms to keep herself upright. I also noticed yesterday, her belly appears to have red areas on it whereas before yesterday it was completely translucent with no red areas and no black spots like you see sometimes with juveniles. Her belly is extremely soft, there are no lumps, just little skin rolls which she has always had.
  

Care Regime: -warm bath daily/every other day while gently massaging her belly from neck to base of tail -flukers eye drops twice a day -water and clear pedialyte via syringe drops twice a day just in case she isn’t using her water dish -carnivore care mixed with calcium & repashy grub pie once a day via syringe started two days ago -bene bac every other day -dose of Panacur (0.03 ml) 3 days ago
My exotic vet is 2 hours away and yesterday I brought my daughter to her pediatrician appt and was unexpectedly given a referral to see a neurologist today 3 hours the opposite way today and I have appts tomorrow and Friday for my other children since I try to make their appts all in the same week. If I need to take her to the vet, I will try to arrange for my mom to come pick her up and bring her there for me but if there is anything else I can do at home for now?
Additional info- I have 3 other leopard geckos. Everyone has their own front open 50 gallon enclosure with warm, cold, and humid hide, plenty of enrichment, fresh bottled water everyday, and everyone else is healthy and normal