Nail salons open sunday near me
THE SNAKE MYTH
2023.06.10 22:31 JoshAsdvgi THE SNAKE MYTH
 | submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments] THE SNAKE MYTH A Hopi Legend At Tokóonavi, north of the Grand Canyon, lived people who were then not yet Snake people. They lived close to the bank of the river. The chief's son often pondered over the Grand Canyon and wondered where all that water went to. "That must certainly make it very full somewhere," he thought to himself. So he spoke to his father about it. ''So that is what you have been thinking about," the latter said. "Yes," his son answered, "I want to go and examine it." The father gave his consent and told his son that he should make a box for himself that would be large enough for him to get into, and he should arrange it so that all openings in the box could be closed. This the boy did, making also a long pole (according to others a long báho), with which he could push the box in case it became fast or tangled up anywhere. When he was ready he took a lot of báhos and some food, went into the box, and allowed himself to be pushed into the water, on which he then floated along. Finally he came to the ocean, where he drifted against an island. He found the house of Spider Woman (Kóhk'ang Wuhti) here, who called him to come to her house. He went over and found that he could not get through the opening leading to her house. "How shall I get in?" he said; "the opening is too small." She told him to enlarge it. This he did and then entered. He told her a story and gave her a báho, and said that he had come after beads, etc. She pointed to another kiva away out in the water and said that there were some beads and corals there. but that there were some wild animals guarding the path to it. "If you had not informed me, how could you have succeeded in getting there and how would you have gotten back? But I shall go with you," she said, "because you have given me a báho, for which I am very glad." She then gave the young man some medicine and seated herself behind his right ear. He spurted the medicine over the water and immediately a road like a rainbow was formed from the dwelling of Spider Woman to the other kiva. On this they went across the water. As they approached the kiva to which they were going they first encountered a panther, who growled fiercely. The young man gave him a green báho and spurted some medicine upon him, which quieted him. A little farther on they met a bear, whom they quieted in the same manner. Still farther on they came upon a wildcat, to which they also handed a báho, which quieted the animal. Hereupon they met a gray wolf, and finally a very large rattle-snake (K'áhtoya), both of which they appeased in the same manner as the others. They then arrived at the kiva, where they found at the entrance a bow standard (Aoát nátsi). They then descended the ladder and found in the kiva many people who were dressed in blue kilts, had their faces painted with specular iron (yaláhaii), and around their necks they wore many beads. The young man sat down near the fireplace, Spider Woman still being seated on his ear, but no one spoke. The men looked at him, but remained silent. Presently the chief got a large bag of tobacco and a large pipe. He filled the latter and smoked four times. He then handed the pipe to the young man and said: "Smoke and swallow the smoke." The swallowing of the smoke was a test: any one not being able to do that was driven off. Spider Woman had informed the young man about this test, so he was posted. When he commenced to smoke she whispered to him: "Put me behind you." This he did in an unobserved manner, so when he swallowed the smoke she immediately drew the smoke from him and blew it away, and hence he did not get dizzy. The men who did not observe the trick were pleased and said to him: ''All right, you are strong; you are certainly some one. Thank you. Your heart is good: you are one of us; you are our child." "Yes." he said, and handed them some red nakwákwosis and a single green báho with red points, such as are still made in Shupaúlavi in the Antelope society. They then became very friendly, saving that the were very happy over the báhos. On the walls of the kiva were hanging many costumes made of snake skins. Soon the chief said to the people: "Let us dress up now," and turning to the young man bid him to turn away so that he would not see what was going on. He did so, and when he looked back again the men had all dressed up in the snake costumes and had turned into snakes, large and small, bull- snakes, racers, and rattle-snakes, that were moving about on the floor hissing, rattling, etc. While he had turned away and the snake People had been dressing themselves, Spider Woman had whispered to him that they were now going to try him very hard, but that he should not be afraid to touch the snakes; and she gave him many instructions. Among those present in the kiva had also been some pretty maidens who had also put on snake costumes and had turned into serpents. One of them had been particularly handsome. The chief had not turned into a snake, and was sitting near the fireplace. He now turned to the young man and said to him: "You go now and select and take one of these snakes." The snakes seemed to be very angry and the young man got frightened when they stared at him, but Spider Woman whispered to him not to be a coward, nor to be afraid. The prettiest maiden had turned into a large yellow rattle-snake (Sik'á-tcua), and was especially angry. Spider Woman whispered to the young man, that the one that acted so very angrily was the pretty maiden and that he should try to take that one. He tried, but the snake was very wild and fierce. "Be not afraid," Spider Woman whispered, and handed him some medicine. This he secretly chewed and spurted a small quantity of it on the fierce snake, whereupon it immediately became docile. He at once grabbed it, held and stroked it four times upward, each time spurting a little medicine on it, and thus freeing it from its anger. The chief was astonished and said: "You are very something, thanks. Now, look away again." He did so and when he turned back he saw that all the snakes had assumed the forms of men and women again, including the maiden that he had captured. They now were all very good to him, and talked to him in the kindest manner, because they now considered him as initiated and as one of them. He was now welcome, and the chief invited him to eat. The mána whom the young man had taken got from another room in the kiva some bread made of fresh corn-meal, some peaches, melons, etc., and set this food before the young man. Spider Woman whispered to the young -man to give her something to eat too, which he did secretly. She enjoyed the food very much and was very happy. Now the chief asked the man why he came, etc. "I hunt a lólomat kátcit (good life) and was thinking about the water running this way, and so this way it runs. I have come also to get Hopi food from here. I also heard that there lives a woman here somewhere, the Hurúing Wuhti, from whom I want beads." "What have you for her?" they asked. "These báhos," he said. "All right, you will get there. But now you sleep here." But Spider Woman wanted to get back. He told them that he wanted to go out a little while. Then he went and took Spider Woman home, and put her down. She invited him to come and eat with her. She had a pövö'lpik'i off which she lived and which never gave out, but he left her and returned to the Snake kiva, where he was welcomed and called brother and son-in-law (möö'nangwuu), although he had not yet married, but only caught the mána. So he remained there. That evening and night the chief told him all about the Snake cult, altar, etc., etc., and instructed him how he must put this up, and do that, when he would return. He did not sleep that night. In the morning he again went out on the same excuse as the previous evening, and went to Spider Woman, who went out. She made a rainbow road into the ocean to a high bluff where Hurúing Wuhti lived, and to which they ascended on a ladder. They went in and found an old hag, but on all the walls many beads, shells, etc. The woman said nothing. The young man gave her the báhos, then she, said faintly, "Áskwali!" (Thanks!) At sundown she went into a side chamber and returned a very pretty maiden with fine buffalo and wildcat robes, of which she made a bed, and after having fed him, invited him to sleep with her on the bed. Then Spider Woman ,whispered he should comply with her request, then he would win her favor and get the beads. So he did as requested. In the morning he awoke and found by his side an old hag, snoring. He was very unhappy, He stayed all day, the hag sitting bent up all day. In the evening the change, etc., that occurred on the previous day was repeated, but the hag after this remained a pretty maiden. He remained four days and nights with Hurúing Wuhti, who is the deity of the hard substances. After four days he wanted to go home, so she went into a room on the north side and got a turquoise bead; then from a room west the same: from a room South a reddish bead (cátsni); from one east, a hard white bead (hurúingwa), a shell. Then she gave him a few of all kinds of beads and told him to go home now, but charging him not to open the sack, because if he did they would be gone, and if he did not they would increase. "You go to the Snakes, who will give you clothes, food, etc." He then returned to the Snake kiva. There he staved four days and four nights, sleeping with his wife. When he was ready to go home the chief said: "Take this mána with you. You have won us. Take it all with you, take of our food. Practice the ceremonies there that I told you about. This woman will bear you children and then you will be many and they will hold this ceremony for you." So they started. At Spider Woman's house he told his wife, ''You stay here. I will go to the rear." So he went to Spider Woman's house and she asked: ''Well, did you get the mána?" "Yes," he said. "Well, you take everything along." But she forbid him to touch his wife while they would be on the way, as then his beads would disappear and also his wife. So they started. The beads were as yet not heavy. During the night they slept separately. In the morning they found that the beads had increased, and they kept increasing as they went along the next day. The next night they spent in the same way. They were anxious to see whether the beads and shells had increased, but did not dare to do so. The third night was again spent, and the contents of the bag increased the same as the previous two nights. The bag with the beads and shells now became very heavy and the young man was very anxious to see them, but his wife forbade him to open the sack. The fourth night was spent in the same manner, and when they arose in the morning the sack was nearly full and was very heavy. Spider Woman had also put some strings into the bag with the beads, and the beads were strung onto these strings a,; they kept increasing. They now approached the home of the young man, and the latter was very anxious to get home in order to see the contents, of the sack, so they traveled on. When they had nearly one more day's travel to make the sack had become full. During the last night the man opened the sack, although his wife remonstrated most energetically. He took out many of the finest beads and shells and spread them on the floor before them, put them around his neck, and was very happy. So they retired for the night. In the morning they found that all the beads except those which Hurúing Wuhti had given to the man had disappeared. Hence the Hopi have so few beads at the present day. If that man had at that time brought home with him all the beads which he had, they would have many. So when they arrived at home they were very despondent. At that time only the Divided or Separated Spring (Bátki) clan and the Pö'na (a certain cactus) clan lived at that place, but with the arrival of this young couple a new clan, the Snake clan, had come to the village. Soon this new woman bore many children. They were snakes who lived in the fields and in the sand. They grew very rapidly and went about and played with the Hopi children, whom they sometimes bit. This made the Hopi very angry and they said: "This is not good," and drove them off, so they were very unhappy. The woman said to her husband: "You take our children back to my home and there we shall go away from here alone." Then the man's father made báhos, gave them to his son, who put all the snakes with the báhos into his blanket and took them back to his wife's home, and there told the Snake people why he brought their children and the báhos. They said it was all right. Hence the Snake priests, when carrying away the snakes from the plaza after the snake dance, take with them and deposit with the snakes some báhos, so that they should not themselves return to the village. When the Snake man returned to his village lit and his wife traveled south- eastward, stopping at various places. All at once they saw smoke in the distance, and when they went there they found a village perched son the mesa. This was the village of Wálpi. They at once went to the foot of the mesa on which Wálpi was situated and announced their presence. So the village chief went down to them from the mesa, and asked what they wanted. They asked to be admitted to the village, promising that they would assist the people in the ceremonies. The chief at first showed himself unwilling to admit then), but finally gave his consent and took them up to the village. From that time the woman bore human children instead of little snakes. These children and their descendants became the Snake clan, of whom only very few are now living. Soon also the Bátki and Pö'na clan came to Wálpi and found admittance to the village. At Wálpi the Snake people made the first Snake típoni, Snake altar, etc., and had the first Snake ceremony. From here the Snake cult spread to the other villages, first to Shongópavi, then to Mishóngnovi, and then to Oraíbi. At the first Snake ceremony the Snake chief sent his nephew to the north, to the west, to the south, and to the east to hunt snakes. He brought some from each direction, The chief then hollowed out a piece of báho, made of cottonwood root. Into this he put the rattles of three of the snakes and the fourth snake entirely. He then inserted into it a corn-ear, and tied to it different feathers of the eagle, the oriole, blue-bird, parrot, magpie, Ásya, and topóckwa, winding a buckskin String around these feathers. When he had made this típoni, the first ceremony was celebrated, and afterwards it took place regularly. |
2023.06.10 22:29 JoshAsdvgi The Sly Young Man
 | submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments] The Sly Young Man There were two brothers, one married, the other unmarried. The married one lived in one place; the unmarried one, in another. They did not want to live together. One time the unmarried brother wanted to visit the married one. When he approached his house, he listened, and thought, "Why, my brother and his wife are talking and laughing quite merrily." When he came nearer, however, he noticed that the man's voice was not that of his brother. So he crept along the wall very cautiously, and then looked through a rent in the skin covering. A strange man was having quite a merry time with his sister-in-law. They were hugging and kissing, and talking and playing with each other. He thought, "My brother is not here. Probably he is off hunting wild reindeer." The others meanwhile took off their breeches to and made love right before him, though unaware of his presence. At the most critical moment the young man entered the house. The woman, however, shook herself free, swifter than a she-ermine, and in a moment the man too was hidden beneath the blanket. The young man said nothing. He simply sat down and waited for the evening. The other man, the one hidden under the blanket, having nothing else to do, also waited. Late in the evening, the married brother came home. The unmarried brother said nothing to him about the strange man hidden in the house, the woman also said nothing; but both were silent and very anxious. The married brother said, "Listen, wife! Our brother has come to visit us. Cook plenty of the best meat and reindeer-fat, and we will have a hearty meal . The visiting brother said nothing, and waited, as before. The woman cooked some meat, and taking it out of the kettle, carved it with great care and spread the meal. The married brother said, "Come on! Let us eat!" The other answered, "How can we eat, since a strange man is hidden in our house?" The married brother said, "Then I shall look for him in every corner, and certainly I shall find him." He did so, searching all through the house, but found nothing. Then he said again, "So it was a joke of yours. Come on! Let us have a meal!" The unmarried brother said, as before, "How can we have a meal? A strange man is hidden in the house." The same happened three successive times. At last the unmarried brother said, "Leave me alone! How can we have a meal? A strange man is hidden in your bed, and covered with your own blankets." The married brother pulled off the blanket. The strange man was lying there, face downward. His head was under the pillow. The married brother felt very angry. He drew his knife and with a single blow, cut off the head of the adulterer. Then he came to himself and said with great sorrow, "Oh, brother! – and you, woman! You ought to have warned me in time. Now, what is to be done? I have killed a man. What will happen to us?" He sat down and cried most wretchedly. The other brother said, "What of it? There is no need of crying. He has been killed, and we cannot change it. It is better that I carry off the body and dispose of it." He took the body and carried it off. After sometime he found the tracks of the killed man and followed them up. He came to a beaten road, and then to a large village. It had numerous houses, some of them Tungus, and some Yakut. They had herds of reindeer and also of horses. In the middle of the village stood a large house just like a hill. It was the house of the chief of the village. The unmarried brother arrived there in the night time and soon found the house of the killed man. He entered at once, carrying the corpse on his back. The parents of the killed one, an old man and an old woman, were sleeping on the right hand side of the house. The bed of their son was on the left hand side. He went to the bed, put down the body, and covered it with a skin blanket. He tucked in the folds with great care, and then placed the head in its proper place, so that he looked just like a man sleeping. The old man, and the old woman heard a rustling sound and thought, "Ah, it is our son! He has come home." Then the father said, "Ah, it is you! Why are you so late?" In another corner slept the elder brother of the killed man and his wife. He also said, "Why are you so late? You ought to be asleep long ago." The man who had carried in the corpse crept softly out of the house and went home. He came to his married brother, who said, "Ah, it is you! You are alive. And what have you done with the body?" – "I carried it to the house of his parents and put it down on his own bed. He ought to have slept on it long ago." After that they had a meal. Then the unmarried brother said again, "I will go back and see what happened to the dead body." – "Do not go! This time they will surely kill you." – "They will not kill me. I shall go and see." He would not listen to his married brother, and went back to the house of the dead man. He approached, and heard loud wailing. The relatives of the killed man were lamenting over the body. He entered and saluted the old man. Then modestly he sat down at the women's place. The old man said, "I never saw such a face in our village. Certainly, you are a stranger, a visitor to our country." – "I am," said the young man. "And why are you lamenting in this wise?" – "We have good reason for it," said the old man. "Two sons we had, and now we have lost one of them. He used to walk in the night time, heaven knows where. Then he grew angry with us and in that angry mood he cut off his own head. After that he lay down, covered himself with a blanket, and then he died. So you see we have good reasons for lamenting." They had a meal and then some tea. After that the old man said, "We have no shamans in our village, although it is large. Perhaps you know of some shaman in your own country?" – "Yes," said the young man, "I know of one." He lied once more. He did not know of any shaman. "Ah!" said the old man, brightening up, "if that is so, go and bring him here." He asked them for two horses, – one for himself, and another for the shaman whom he was to bring. "I will ride one horse, and the other I will lead behind with a halter for the shaman." He rode off without aim and purpose, for he knew of no shaman. After a long while he came to a lonesome log cabin. Some wolflings were playing before the entrance. He entered. An old wolf-woman was sitting on a bench. Her hair was long, it hung down and spread over the floor. A young girl was sitting at a table. She was quite fair, fairer than the sun. This was the Wolf-girl. The wolflings outside were her brothers. The old woman looked up and said, "I never saw such a face in our own place. No human beings ever came here. Who are you, – a human creature, or something else?" – "I am human." – "And what are you looking for, roaming about?" – "I am in great need. I am looking for a shaman, having been sent by a suffering person." She repeated her question, and he answered the same as before. The old woman held her breath for some time. Then she said, "I am too old now. I do not know whether I still possess any power, but in former times I used to help people." He took hold of her, put her upon his horse, and rode back to the old man's home. He took her into the house, and said, "This is the shaman I have brought for you." They treated her to the best dainties, and all the while she was drying over the fire her small, strange shaman's drum. After that she started her shamanistic performance. According to custom, she made the man who had taken her there hold the long tassel fastened to the back of her garments. "Take care!" said the old woman, "do not let go of this tassel!" He grasped the tassel, and the old woman wound herself around like a piece of birchbark over the fire. The house was full of people, housemates, guests, onlookers. After a while the young man said, "I feel very hot. Let somebody hold this tassel for a little while, and I will go out and cool myself." He went out of the house. The moon was shining brightly. A number of horses were digging the snow for some tussock-grass. He caught them all. Then he cut down some young willow and prepared a number of willow brooms – one for each of the horses. He tied the brooms to the tails of the horses. Then he set them afire, and set the horses free. Seeing the glare and scenting the smell of fire, they ran away in every direction. He went back and took hold of the tassel again, as though nothing had happened. Then some other person went out, and hurried back, shouting, "O men! the country all around is aflame!" And, indeed, the horses were galloping about, waving high their tails of fire. "Who lighted this fire?" said the people. "Perhaps the spirits." Everyone left the house. They stood outside, staring upon that living fire fleeting by. "Ah, ah!" said some of them. "It is our end. This fire will burn us down." Not one of them thought any more of the old woman. The young man, however, quietly slipped back into the house. The old woman was drumming more violently than ever. She was so full of inspiration, that she had noticed nothing at all. He looked about. No one was there. The old woman drummed on. Then he lifted from the ground a big kettle full to the brim of ice-cold water and all at once he overturned it over the old woman's head. After that he put the kettle over her head and shoulders. The old woman shuddered, and fell down dead, as is the way of all shamans when frightened unexpectedly. The young man left the house, and mingled among the people outside, looking most innocent. After some time, however, he said, "Why are we standing here looking at this blaze, and meantime we have left the shaman alone in the house? That is wrong." They hurried back, and the wolf shaman was lying on the ground, wet and stone dead, half hidden in the kettle. The old man was in great fear, and wailed aloud, "Alas, alas! I lost a son, and that was bad enough; but it is much worse that this Wolf-woman has died in our house. Her children will surely come and wreak vengeance upon our heads. We are already as good as dead. O God!" he continued, "we are in a bad plight. Somebody must go and carry the Wolf-woman to her own house." The people were full of fear and nobody wanted to go. Then the old man tried to induce the young visitor to convey the body of the Wolf-woman to her family. The young man said, "How can I do this? They will tear me into bits." The old man had a young daughter who was very pretty. He said, "Please toss this old woman away! If you come back alive, you may marry this young girl as your reward." – "All right," said the young man, "but still I am not sure. Perhaps, even if I come back alive, you will break your word and give me nothing." – "No, never!" said the old man, "I will deal honestly with you." – "So be it," said the young man. "Now please kill for me two ptarmigan, and give me their bladders filled with fresh and warm blood." He took the bladders and placed them under his armpits. Then he drove some iron nails into his heels, into the very flesh. He took the old woman and put her upon the saddle. Then he bound her fast, though not very strongly. She looked, however, quite like a living person riding a horse. They set off and reached the house of the wolves. "Oh," the wolflings raised a yell, "Mamma is coming, mamma is coming! "Easy," said the young man. "My horse shies easily. Take care lest you cause some great misfortune." And he secretly spurred his horse with the nails of his feet. The horse reared and threw him down. The other horse did the same. The body of the wolf-mother fell down like a bundle of rags. The bladder burst, and all the blood was spilled. They lay there side by side, swimming in blood. The wolf-children said, "O brother! our mother is dead; but that is as nothing. We have killed that stranger by our imprudence. He is near unto death, and no doubt his brothers and sisters, and all his kith and kin, will come here to have revenge." They went near and looked at him. The blood was streaming down his arms and legs. "Oh, oh!" said the wolf-children, "How can be live?" In despair they took him by the hands and feet and shook him and said to him, "Please, man, do not die here! We will give you our pretty sister." They worried him, howled over him, and entreated him, and by and by he acted as though feeling a little better. He sighed low, "Oh, oh!" In the end he fully revived and came to. "Ah!" said the wolflings to their sister, "see what good luck we have. A man was dying, and we said, 'We will give you our sister,' and he revived." So he took the girl and went home. "Be sure," said the wolf children on taking farewell, "when you return to your own place, not to tell your kinsmen that we had nearly killed you!" – "I will not tell," assured the man, and galloped off with his bride. They came to the old man. "I have come back and am alive!" shouted the young man. "Where is the girl?" – "Here she is," said the old man. "Thank the Spirits, you have come back safe!" He took the other girl, and went back to his brother with two women and three horses. The brother said, "How long it is since you were here! I thought you were dead but I see you have brought some girls." – "I have," said the young man. He entered the house, and without much ado, cutoff the head of his sister-in-law. "There you are!" said he. "You shall have no more paramours." He gave his brother the old man's daughter and took for himself the old woman's daughter. After that they lived on. |
2023.06.10 22:29 Nautifyy_ Help finding a seat for my rig!
Hey! I'm currently in the process of building an 8020 sim rig using Simlab's GT1 EVO. Looked all over the internet for some solid advice on finding a solid seat for sim racing that also functions exceptionally as a daily setup seat as well. Not much luck there. Looking for something that is just as functional & ergonomic as it is nice looking. "Junkyard" seats look like the best option so far from what I can tell.
Mainly race F1, iRacing (GT & F1 Races), and Gran Turismo. Some criteria/preferred features for it are comfortable for long sitting (8-14 hours a day), Lumbar & Upper-Back support, and Butt support. I'm 6' and 195lb with an athletic build if that helps.
I use an Asetek Invicta wheelbase and wheel with the Invicta pedals, so it's gotta be solid with little flex if possible. My budget is $1500.
I'm open to pretty much anything as long as it can meet the criteria or at least be near it. If anyone has any tips, advice, or specific models of seats in mind, feel free to let me know down below!
Thank you in advance!
submitted by Nautifyy_ to simracing [link] [comments]
Mainly race F1, iRacing (GT & F1 Races), and Gran Turismo. Some criteria/preferred features for it are comfortable for long sitting (8-14 hours a day), Lumbar & Upper-Back support, and Butt support. I'm 6' and 195lb with an athletic build if that helps.
I use an Asetek Invicta wheelbase and wheel with the Invicta pedals, so it's gotta be solid with little flex if possible. My budget is $1500.
I'm open to pretty much anything as long as it can meet the criteria or at least be near it. If anyone has any tips, advice, or specific models of seats in mind, feel free to let me know down below!
Thank you in advance!
2023.06.10 22:25 throwra362773 I (26M) was scared to commit to girl (30F) when I was ready she left
I (26M) dated a girl (30F let’s call her Jane) for about 9 months (sept 22). A few times early on she asked me what I was looking for and I’d always say I’m not really looking for anything. As time goes on we hang out a lot (3-5x a week) and we’re super comfortable and close. I never felt pressured or thought about establishing a relationship. I could sense jane like me a lot more than I liked her, she’d text me she misses me, try to plan dates, etc. I stopped seeing other people early March because I realized every time I was with someone I’d just think of Jane. I never told her that, because I was just going with the flow.
Around mid-late April Jane leaves her phone open in front of me with texts from a guy from tinder on it. I don’t say anything since we never talked exclusivity but it ate me alive the entire night and she asked me what is going on. I told her it hurt because I wasn’t seeing anyone and I just assumed after such a long time we were kind of on the same page and that she’s right we’re not exclusive so I can’t really say much about it.
We took a few days break, both felt really shitty and missed each other. She wanted me to be fully committed to her and monogamous, where I wanted to continue to date and be exclusive so I can allow my feelings to open up, I told her I can’t promise anything but that I want to see where it goes. She reluctantly agreed to be exclusive.. after about a week she told me she was unhappy because she compromised her values for me. We took another few day break because I didn’t want to continue seeing her if she was seeing other people.
We got back a few days later after we both really misssed each other again where we were dating freely again. (May 10ish)
Things were going well and I was allowing myself to open up and be more vulnerable and caring for her.
About 10 days later she leaves for a work trip for 5 days and is very distant with me the entire week and didn’t really want to see me when she’s back.
I was leaving Saturday before Memorial Day to visit home and told her I needed to see her before I left.
We had a discussion and she was overthinking our relationship and felt bad I was putting in more effort into seeing her in her neighborhood since she was so busy, rather than her equally visiting me. She was losing feelings and not sure if they were going to come back. She’s still seeing other people. We are both workaholics so we agreeed to put time aside from each other, I was looking to rent an apartment that would be an easier commute since I was apartment hunting anyway, we both wanted to make it work. She admitted she didn’t know if she even wanted a serious relationship with anyone right now, that she has a fear of committing and has self sabotaging behavior. She also admitted she missed having a honeymoon phase with heavy infatuation with me and it felt like we skipped it because we got so comfortable so quickly.
She felt super good after our talk we have super passionate make up sex, agreed to meet Monday on Memorial Day to explore the city and make date night plans for Friday night. Rest of the day and next day Jane texts me a lot and says she misses me and wish she could be with me in my hometown. We agreed on a time to hangout the next day.
Next day comes and Jane calls me that she doesn’t want to continue the relationship and that she lost feelings.
I sent her a long text and she responds she loves all our moments together, loves me as a human, wants me to be happy and loved.
A few days later I ask Jane to meet up and talk she agrees.. we tried to meet up Saturday, it doesn’t work for her any more. We make plans to meet Sunday… she texts me she woke up late, and will see how she feels after her workout class… tells me she needs a mental health day and “appreciates the flexibility”, we agree to meet Monday.
Later in the day I cancelled, because I felt like I didn’t really matter and was a chore, I told her I loved her (I never told her before), apologized for my fear of committing when she wanted me to, I wished things were different and her true colors are starting to show, I’m always open to talking but I won’t always be there like I am now. She responded “ok best of luck”
I went NC until I was drunk and texted her “I missed her in my life” She never responded and I can’t let go.
Any thoughts or advice?
submitted by throwra362773 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Around mid-late April Jane leaves her phone open in front of me with texts from a guy from tinder on it. I don’t say anything since we never talked exclusivity but it ate me alive the entire night and she asked me what is going on. I told her it hurt because I wasn’t seeing anyone and I just assumed after such a long time we were kind of on the same page and that she’s right we’re not exclusive so I can’t really say much about it.
We took a few days break, both felt really shitty and missed each other. She wanted me to be fully committed to her and monogamous, where I wanted to continue to date and be exclusive so I can allow my feelings to open up, I told her I can’t promise anything but that I want to see where it goes. She reluctantly agreed to be exclusive.. after about a week she told me she was unhappy because she compromised her values for me. We took another few day break because I didn’t want to continue seeing her if she was seeing other people.
We got back a few days later after we both really misssed each other again where we were dating freely again. (May 10ish)
Things were going well and I was allowing myself to open up and be more vulnerable and caring for her.
About 10 days later she leaves for a work trip for 5 days and is very distant with me the entire week and didn’t really want to see me when she’s back.
I was leaving Saturday before Memorial Day to visit home and told her I needed to see her before I left.
We had a discussion and she was overthinking our relationship and felt bad I was putting in more effort into seeing her in her neighborhood since she was so busy, rather than her equally visiting me. She was losing feelings and not sure if they were going to come back. She’s still seeing other people. We are both workaholics so we agreeed to put time aside from each other, I was looking to rent an apartment that would be an easier commute since I was apartment hunting anyway, we both wanted to make it work. She admitted she didn’t know if she even wanted a serious relationship with anyone right now, that she has a fear of committing and has self sabotaging behavior. She also admitted she missed having a honeymoon phase with heavy infatuation with me and it felt like we skipped it because we got so comfortable so quickly.
She felt super good after our talk we have super passionate make up sex, agreed to meet Monday on Memorial Day to explore the city and make date night plans for Friday night. Rest of the day and next day Jane texts me a lot and says she misses me and wish she could be with me in my hometown. We agreed on a time to hangout the next day.
Next day comes and Jane calls me that she doesn’t want to continue the relationship and that she lost feelings.
I sent her a long text and she responds she loves all our moments together, loves me as a human, wants me to be happy and loved.
A few days later I ask Jane to meet up and talk she agrees.. we tried to meet up Saturday, it doesn’t work for her any more. We make plans to meet Sunday… she texts me she woke up late, and will see how she feels after her workout class… tells me she needs a mental health day and “appreciates the flexibility”, we agree to meet Monday.
Later in the day I cancelled, because I felt like I didn’t really matter and was a chore, I told her I loved her (I never told her before), apologized for my fear of committing when she wanted me to, I wished things were different and her true colors are starting to show, I’m always open to talking but I won’t always be there like I am now. She responded “ok best of luck”
I went NC until I was drunk and texted her “I missed her in my life” She never responded and I can’t let go.
Any thoughts or advice?
2023.06.10 22:25 RevoHits US PC Chernarus "Escape The Night" PvE w/PvP Zones START WITH 100k!
~Escape The Night~ PvE w/PvP ZonesWIPED3PPHelisAI-BossesRaidingBBP100kNoobsKeycardsAirdropBunkersParty-SystemTraderBlackmarketBankingDrugsBedRespawnSpawnSelectVehicles+Guns+Loot+
IP: 51.81.221.168:7915
Join Our Discord https://discord.gg/2EQPEZ8
Server Restart Intervals Are At 5:40AM PST - 11:40AM PST - 5:40PM PST 11:40PM PST
BASE BUILDING: AT THE MOMENT TRADERS DO NOT SELL NAILS/FOOD/ARMOR, for a more survival feel we made base building a little more grindy than other servers for a better experience (MOD: BASE BUILDING PLUS), THERE IS NO BUIDLING NEAR PVP ZONES, HIDEOUTS, OR TRADERS (500m from Hideouts/Traders, 300m from PVP zones). Get your grind on and have fun with more of an immersive pvp building system. We have BasicTerritories/PVEZE Flag Zones. You need a flagpole to make a base & you need a flag fully raised on your pole to enable PvP. Since we use PVEZ the flags help in case you need to defend against a raid. The flag also helps keep all your items secure from poofing away. Sadly bases can be raided even with your flag pole lowered. So it’s recommended that you keep your flag pole raised.
ALL BASES HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF VEHICLES THEY CAN POSSESS! Each base can have a max of 3 Land Vehicles & 2 Helicopters (This Is To Help Prevent Lag)
PVP ZONES/PVE: All PVP Zones contain either a military spot on the map, or Custom Keycard areas, Custom Key Cards spawn randomly around the map or in airdrops/military bases/bunkers.THERE IS ABSOULETLY NO KILLING OUTSIDE PVP ZONES, what ever damage you afflict on another Survior, that damage will come back to you, this a noob/pve setting of a server so show some respect.
KEYCARDS: There many different keycards you can get but they all are different. Some have different loot, some have mixed loot. Rare keycard rooms give 10x better loot than normal military/bm loot. There Is 2 Red/Black/Violet/Green Rooms. 1 Yellow/Blue/Med Lab/White Rooms.
Right Now The Keycards Ranging From Best To Worst Are Red, Black, Yellow, White, Violet, Green, Blue, Med Laboratory. There will probably be more in the future. Red Keycard Loaded but is suuuper rare.
(NOTE: Right now please don't fly into keycard areas. We recently added helis again and some areas are possible to fly into (AI will probably shoot them down but still we want keycards to be used to access keycard areas. ALSO When you open a keycard room it will stay open until server restart because the loot crates wont reset until after restart)
THE BUNKER: Right now there is currently 1 bunker on the server. You need a White Keycard to enter it & when you enter it turns to total darkness. You'll need a light or nvgs too see anything after entering. This place is worth checking out but be careful of possible chances of Zombies/AI. The bunker is really nice for finding blackmarket items and chances decent/guns/armoammo.
TRAVEL TRADER: We recently added a trader that can change locations and also change what they Buy/Sell! The Travel Trader Can Spawn At Any Keycard Locations (Based On When I Move Them) & Trades Rare Items Other Traders Might Not Sell Or Might Buy/Sell At A Discount!
TRADERS: Traders are all around the map and they only sell certain items there. Very high powered weapons cannot be bought a civ traders, they will most likely be purchasable at Blackmarket or not purchasable at all, you will need to scavenge your way around the map if you want to be the best, there are no handouts. Normal Civ Traders will have the essentials there to survive.
AI/BOSSES: AI spawn at all keycards/hideouts except Blue/Green Keycards. They have a chance to spawn anywhere else. There are 3 Bosses on the server. Killa, Zryachiy, the Goons. Killa spawns at Red/Black/Yellow Keycards. Zryachiy spawns at Prison Island. The Goons can spawn at Red/Black/White/Med Lab. The Goons are the rarest Bosses to run into right now while Killa and Zryachiy are about the same. Killa and Zryachiy can have guards.
submitted by RevoHits to DayZServers [link] [comments]
IP: 51.81.221.168:7915
Join Our Discord https://discord.gg/2EQPEZ8
Server Restart Intervals Are At 5:40AM PST - 11:40AM PST - 5:40PM PST 11:40PM PST
BASE BUILDING: AT THE MOMENT TRADERS DO NOT SELL NAILS/FOOD/ARMOR, for a more survival feel we made base building a little more grindy than other servers for a better experience (MOD: BASE BUILDING PLUS), THERE IS NO BUIDLING NEAR PVP ZONES, HIDEOUTS, OR TRADERS (500m from Hideouts/Traders, 300m from PVP zones). Get your grind on and have fun with more of an immersive pvp building system. We have BasicTerritories/PVEZE Flag Zones. You need a flagpole to make a base & you need a flag fully raised on your pole to enable PvP. Since we use PVEZ the flags help in case you need to defend against a raid. The flag also helps keep all your items secure from poofing away. Sadly bases can be raided even with your flag pole lowered. So it’s recommended that you keep your flag pole raised.
ALL BASES HAVE A LIMITED AMOUNT OF VEHICLES THEY CAN POSSESS! Each base can have a max of 3 Land Vehicles & 2 Helicopters (This Is To Help Prevent Lag)
PVP ZONES/PVE: All PVP Zones contain either a military spot on the map, or Custom Keycard areas, Custom Key Cards spawn randomly around the map or in airdrops/military bases/bunkers.THERE IS ABSOULETLY NO KILLING OUTSIDE PVP ZONES, what ever damage you afflict on another Survior, that damage will come back to you, this a noob/pve setting of a server so show some respect.
KEYCARDS: There many different keycards you can get but they all are different. Some have different loot, some have mixed loot. Rare keycard rooms give 10x better loot than normal military/bm loot. There Is 2 Red/Black/Violet/Green Rooms. 1 Yellow/Blue/Med Lab/White Rooms.
Right Now The Keycards Ranging From Best To Worst Are Red, Black, Yellow, White, Violet, Green, Blue, Med Laboratory. There will probably be more in the future. Red Keycard Loaded but is suuuper rare.
(NOTE: Right now please don't fly into keycard areas. We recently added helis again and some areas are possible to fly into (AI will probably shoot them down but still we want keycards to be used to access keycard areas. ALSO When you open a keycard room it will stay open until server restart because the loot crates wont reset until after restart)
THE BUNKER: Right now there is currently 1 bunker on the server. You need a White Keycard to enter it & when you enter it turns to total darkness. You'll need a light or nvgs too see anything after entering. This place is worth checking out but be careful of possible chances of Zombies/AI. The bunker is really nice for finding blackmarket items and chances decent/guns/armoammo.
TRAVEL TRADER: We recently added a trader that can change locations and also change what they Buy/Sell! The Travel Trader Can Spawn At Any Keycard Locations (Based On When I Move Them) & Trades Rare Items Other Traders Might Not Sell Or Might Buy/Sell At A Discount!
TRADERS: Traders are all around the map and they only sell certain items there. Very high powered weapons cannot be bought a civ traders, they will most likely be purchasable at Blackmarket or not purchasable at all, you will need to scavenge your way around the map if you want to be the best, there are no handouts. Normal Civ Traders will have the essentials there to survive.
AI/BOSSES: AI spawn at all keycards/hideouts except Blue/Green Keycards. They have a chance to spawn anywhere else. There are 3 Bosses on the server. Killa, Zryachiy, the Goons. Killa spawns at Red/Black/Yellow Keycards. Zryachiy spawns at Prison Island. The Goons can spawn at Red/Black/White/Med Lab. The Goons are the rarest Bosses to run into right now while Killa and Zryachiy are about the same. Killa and Zryachiy can have guards.
2023.06.10 22:25 throwra362773 I (26M) was scared to commit to girl (30F) when I was ready, she left
I (26M) dated a girl (30F let’s call her Jane) for about 9 months (sept 22). A few times early on she asked me what I was looking for and I’d always say I’m not really looking for anything. As time goes on we hang out a lot (3-5x a week) and we’re super comfortable and close. I never felt pressured or thought about establishing a relationship. I could sense jane like me a lot more than I liked her, she’d text me she misses me, try to plan dates, etc. I stopped seeing other people early March because I realized every time I was with someone I’d just think of Jane. I never told her that, because I was just going with the flow.
Around mid-late April Jane leaves her phone open in front of me with texts from a guy from tinder on it. I don’t say anything since we never talked exclusivity but it ate me alive the entire night and she asked me what is going on. I told her it hurt because I wasn’t seeing anyone and I just assumed after such a long time we were kind of on the same page and that she’s right we’re not exclusive so I can’t really say much about it.
We took a few days break, both felt really shitty and missed each other. She wanted me to be fully committed to her and monogamous, where I wanted to continue to date and be exclusive so I can allow my feelings to open up, I told her I can’t promise anything but that I want to see where it goes. She reluctantly agreed to be exclusive.. after about a week she told me she was unhappy because she compromised her values for me. We took another few day break because I didn’t want to continue seeing her if she was seeing other people.
We got back a few days later after we both really misssed each other again where we were dating freely again. (May 10ish)
Things were going well and I was allowing myself to open up and be more vulnerable and caring for her.
About 10 days later she leaves for a work trip for 5 days and is very distant with me the entire week and didn’t really want to see me when she’s back.
I was leaving Saturday before Memorial Day to visit home and told her I needed to see her before I left.
We had a discussion and she was overthinking our relationship and felt bad I was putting in more effort into seeing her in her neighborhood since she was so busy, rather than her equally visiting me. She was losing feelings and not sure if they were going to come back. She’s still seeing other people. We are both workaholics so we agreeed to put time aside from each other, I was looking to rent an apartment that would be an easier commute since I was apartment hunting anyway, we both wanted to make it work. She admitted she didn’t know if she even wanted a serious relationship with anyone right now, that she has a fear of committing and has self sabotaging behavior. She also admitted she missed having a honeymoon phase with heavy infatuation with me and it felt like we skipped it because we got so comfortable so quickly.
She felt super good after our talk we have super passionate make up sex, agreed to meet Monday on Memorial Day to explore the city and make date night plans for Friday night. Rest of the day and next day Jane texts me a lot and says she misses me and wish she could be with me in my hometown. We agreed on a time to hangout the next day.
Next day comes and Jane calls me that she doesn’t want to continue the relationship and that she lost feelings.
I sent her a long text and she responds she loves all our moments together, loves me as a human, wants me to be happy and loved.
A few days later I ask Jane to meet up and talk she agrees.. we tried to meet up Saturday, it doesn’t work for her any more. We make plans to meet Sunday… she texts me she woke up late, and will see how she feels after her workout class… tells me she needs a mental health day and “appreciates the flexibility”, we agree to meet Monday.
Later in the day I cancelled, because I felt like I didn’t really matter and was a chore, I told her I loved her (I never told her before), apologized for my fear of committing when she wanted me to, I wished things were different and her true colors are starting to show, I’m always open to talking but I won’t always be there like I am now. She responded “ok best of luck”
I went NC until I was drunk and texted her “I missed her in my life” She never responded and I can’t let go.
Any thoughts or advice?
submitted by throwra362773 to ExNoContact [link] [comments]
Around mid-late April Jane leaves her phone open in front of me with texts from a guy from tinder on it. I don’t say anything since we never talked exclusivity but it ate me alive the entire night and she asked me what is going on. I told her it hurt because I wasn’t seeing anyone and I just assumed after such a long time we were kind of on the same page and that she’s right we’re not exclusive so I can’t really say much about it.
We took a few days break, both felt really shitty and missed each other. She wanted me to be fully committed to her and monogamous, where I wanted to continue to date and be exclusive so I can allow my feelings to open up, I told her I can’t promise anything but that I want to see where it goes. She reluctantly agreed to be exclusive.. after about a week she told me she was unhappy because she compromised her values for me. We took another few day break because I didn’t want to continue seeing her if she was seeing other people.
We got back a few days later after we both really misssed each other again where we were dating freely again. (May 10ish)
Things were going well and I was allowing myself to open up and be more vulnerable and caring for her.
About 10 days later she leaves for a work trip for 5 days and is very distant with me the entire week and didn’t really want to see me when she’s back.
I was leaving Saturday before Memorial Day to visit home and told her I needed to see her before I left.
We had a discussion and she was overthinking our relationship and felt bad I was putting in more effort into seeing her in her neighborhood since she was so busy, rather than her equally visiting me. She was losing feelings and not sure if they were going to come back. She’s still seeing other people. We are both workaholics so we agreeed to put time aside from each other, I was looking to rent an apartment that would be an easier commute since I was apartment hunting anyway, we both wanted to make it work. She admitted she didn’t know if she even wanted a serious relationship with anyone right now, that she has a fear of committing and has self sabotaging behavior. She also admitted she missed having a honeymoon phase with heavy infatuation with me and it felt like we skipped it because we got so comfortable so quickly.
She felt super good after our talk we have super passionate make up sex, agreed to meet Monday on Memorial Day to explore the city and make date night plans for Friday night. Rest of the day and next day Jane texts me a lot and says she misses me and wish she could be with me in my hometown. We agreed on a time to hangout the next day.
Next day comes and Jane calls me that she doesn’t want to continue the relationship and that she lost feelings.
I sent her a long text and she responds she loves all our moments together, loves me as a human, wants me to be happy and loved.
A few days later I ask Jane to meet up and talk she agrees.. we tried to meet up Saturday, it doesn’t work for her any more. We make plans to meet Sunday… she texts me she woke up late, and will see how she feels after her workout class… tells me she needs a mental health day and “appreciates the flexibility”, we agree to meet Monday.
Later in the day I cancelled, because I felt like I didn’t really matter and was a chore, I told her I loved her (I never told her before), apologized for my fear of committing when she wanted me to, I wished things were different and her true colors are starting to show, I’m always open to talking but I won’t always be there like I am now. She responded “ok best of luck”
I went NC until I was drunk and texted her “I missed her in my life” She never responded and I can’t let go.
Any thoughts or advice?
2023.06.10 22:24 Puzzleheaded-State45 Haunted by an unknown man.
A series of events started to happen when I was very young. Around 8-9. There is a chance the series were not connected. My feeling is, it's all connected. To one disturbed man.
The first event was the phone started ringing almost every night between 2:00 and 2:30 am. Being a light sleeper it woke me constantly.
My parents didn't ever appear to be bothered. Probably because they both were drunk almost every night and passed out. Even when I did complain they would just respond by saying it was probably the wrong number or something along those lines.
It gave me a bad feeling every night hearing that loud rattling landline phone ringing in the kitchen.
One night out of curiosity and frustration when that phone rang I decided to answer it. I heard some distant music in the background and heavy breathing. Now being older I can say it sounded like someone was sitting in a bar.
Eventually, my parents changed the number.
A few months after my parents changed the number I was awakened again but by a different sound.
There is something creepy about hearing noises at night in an isolated country house. Every little sound can be heard. Every sound lingers. You can feel it. So when I heard that car slowing down on the road in front of our house it woke me with an unsettling feeling. I remember I could hear how the tires drove over the gravel in the driveway. My heart sank. I looked up at the wooden square clock in my bedroom it was 2:17 am.
For reasons I can not explain I crawled out of my bed and walked out to the living room and glanced out the windows that hung above the driveway. I kept my distance from the window so he couldn't see me. I stared down at him through the sheer curtains.
A man in a dark-colored Buick Century sat in a car facing my house. I couldn't make out distinctive facial features. I could see he had light-colored hair with a bull-cut style. If I had to guess now I would say he was in his early to mid-thirties.
He just sat there. He started up at my house in a trance. I don't even remember him moving.
I waited to see what he was going to do. I was filled with fear. Around 15 mins he just sat there. Then he very slowly backs up and drives away. He kept his eyes on the house as he drove away.
So maybe wrong house or he was drunk. Who knows. Then I think he visited again.
It was a Sunday evening and I was in the front yard playing with my siblings. I still remember that dreaded feeling of returning to school the next day. A car pulls up and it stops in front of the mailbox down on the road.
Our house was on a little hill with a back road in front. The mailbox was down on the road.
We stopped playing and watched down in curiosity. We knew it was Sunday and the mail doesn't come. Also that is not the regular mailman's car.
The man continued to sit there staring up at us. At one point he reached his arm out the window and acted like he put something in the mailbox. Then drove about 50 yards up the road and stopped and sat. So my siblings told me to go check the mailbox. I don't know why they told me to. Maybe because I was the youngest.
I walked down the little hill and opened the mailbox and nothing was in it. Suddenly l hear tires screeching and the car was flying towards me in reverse. I screamed and we all ran into the house. He drove off very fast.
We told our parents and they thought we were confused and minimized the situation.
That night while laying in bed it clicked in my head. That man was the same man that came that one night. It was the same car and I remember the blonde hairstyle. An unsettling feeling sank in.
About a year after that one day in school, I heard teachers telling kids to avoid a dark-colored Buick. They said a man was trying to kidnap kids at their mailbox after getting off the bus.
I moved out of that town a few years later when my parents got divorced. Every once he comes to my dreams but I never heard anything about this man ever again.
submitted by Puzzleheaded-State45 to creepyencounters [link] [comments]
The first event was the phone started ringing almost every night between 2:00 and 2:30 am. Being a light sleeper it woke me constantly.
My parents didn't ever appear to be bothered. Probably because they both were drunk almost every night and passed out. Even when I did complain they would just respond by saying it was probably the wrong number or something along those lines.
It gave me a bad feeling every night hearing that loud rattling landline phone ringing in the kitchen.
One night out of curiosity and frustration when that phone rang I decided to answer it. I heard some distant music in the background and heavy breathing. Now being older I can say it sounded like someone was sitting in a bar.
Eventually, my parents changed the number.
A few months after my parents changed the number I was awakened again but by a different sound.
There is something creepy about hearing noises at night in an isolated country house. Every little sound can be heard. Every sound lingers. You can feel it. So when I heard that car slowing down on the road in front of our house it woke me with an unsettling feeling. I remember I could hear how the tires drove over the gravel in the driveway. My heart sank. I looked up at the wooden square clock in my bedroom it was 2:17 am.
For reasons I can not explain I crawled out of my bed and walked out to the living room and glanced out the windows that hung above the driveway. I kept my distance from the window so he couldn't see me. I stared down at him through the sheer curtains.
A man in a dark-colored Buick Century sat in a car facing my house. I couldn't make out distinctive facial features. I could see he had light-colored hair with a bull-cut style. If I had to guess now I would say he was in his early to mid-thirties.
He just sat there. He started up at my house in a trance. I don't even remember him moving.
I waited to see what he was going to do. I was filled with fear. Around 15 mins he just sat there. Then he very slowly backs up and drives away. He kept his eyes on the house as he drove away.
So maybe wrong house or he was drunk. Who knows. Then I think he visited again.
It was a Sunday evening and I was in the front yard playing with my siblings. I still remember that dreaded feeling of returning to school the next day. A car pulls up and it stops in front of the mailbox down on the road.
Our house was on a little hill with a back road in front. The mailbox was down on the road.
We stopped playing and watched down in curiosity. We knew it was Sunday and the mail doesn't come. Also that is not the regular mailman's car.
The man continued to sit there staring up at us. At one point he reached his arm out the window and acted like he put something in the mailbox. Then drove about 50 yards up the road and stopped and sat. So my siblings told me to go check the mailbox. I don't know why they told me to. Maybe because I was the youngest.
I walked down the little hill and opened the mailbox and nothing was in it. Suddenly l hear tires screeching and the car was flying towards me in reverse. I screamed and we all ran into the house. He drove off very fast.
We told our parents and they thought we were confused and minimized the situation.
That night while laying in bed it clicked in my head. That man was the same man that came that one night. It was the same car and I remember the blonde hairstyle. An unsettling feeling sank in.
About a year after that one day in school, I heard teachers telling kids to avoid a dark-colored Buick. They said a man was trying to kidnap kids at their mailbox after getting off the bus.
I moved out of that town a few years later when my parents got divorced. Every once he comes to my dreams but I never heard anything about this man ever again.
2023.06.10 22:24 Muffinfeds Interview with QAHALOM Founder
Interview with Leslie Arbouin Vargas. Founder and CEO of QAHOLOM.
Tell me about QAHOLOM.
I had been thinking of becoming independent for many years. During this time, I was working in Multi-Latin and Multinational companies like Grupo Familia, Jerónimo Martins, Ernest & Young Consulting. The time came where I decided to take the giant leap forward with all the experience I had accumulated. I had the motivation to be a grain of sand in the country and help with employment opportunities for people and help bring my business idea to the country. I wanted to take advantage of the knowledge I had gained in IT and use that in a closer circle. In addition, the generations of today don’t have as many obligations as we did when were growing up so I wanted to create an economic company where it could be maintained over time rather than risk of being replaced at any time. With all these factors and looking to start a new company in 2016, I decided to retire at my previous position to go after my business idea. Let me just say it’s not easy to decide to leave everything and get out of your comfort zone to lose your monthly salary to pursue your business idea.
Anyways, I left my previous company and dedicated myself to study for three months to create the business plan and business model. I’ve always been very fond of information technology, of the importance of information and the potential that information has. That was my main vision during those three months. This was back in 2016 so remember that back then the terms of artificial intelligence, robotization, digital automation knowledge was still ethereal. I wanted to make those technologies that were already available in Colombia at that time, in companies like Bancolombia or Sura. The processes existed in these very large companies, and I wanted to be able to democratize that access to smaller companies. I began to see that many of these features are charged on demand. The development of the cloud came with great force, through the clouds of Amazon, Microsoft, Huawei. They had been implementing consumption by demand for interesting technology. I was quite interested in this so I decided to go more into the demand management path. After a long time thinking about this, I decided to start.
I was following our company’s phrase phrase: “The future isn’t predicted, it is created”, a phrase from Abraham Lincoln. And from so much thinking and saying “Where is this going to go? What am I going to do?” In that moment it was very hard for me to understand where the technology was going. I said to myself, “Just roll up your sleeves and start with what there is”, and that’s how I decided to start… without even knowing very well what I wanted to build. I was looking to manage complete automated business processes, and not get into the world of pure automation because I don't think pure automation has much value compared to an automated management process. Another pillar was the human value. We never justified a project by the number of people that are replaced, but by the scalability that can be given to the business through the way people work with the technologies. People start to change their mind and they start to change their professional profile and really enhance their value. We approach projects more from that point of view than from the replacement of human resources.
We began with our first client who believed in us and again, we didn’t know what technology to use or how to build it. We slowly began to find the way. We kept looking back at the company phrase I mentioned earlier. It has to be this way, by doing and if not, there is no other way. From there we found the method, the form, how to sell. At first it was very difficult for people to understand me, what we wanted to do, it was even hard for me to explain it because I didn't know how to put it together very well either. Over time we were able to explain our services well. The Pandemic arrived and although it was scary for all of us, it was very important for us because there were more ears in terms of digital issues and it facilitated the entrance to the organizations. We started contracting people and thanks in large part to the pandemic, we never decided to open a brick-and-mortar office. Today, I have many employees that aren’t in Medellín and are in different Colombian cities and countries.
Our business is focused on offering the possibility to digitalize your workforce through a mix of technologies: Digitalization, cognitive learning, robotization, artificial intelligence, and visualization. We master digital work. What we do is we use a virtual machine, and we put it into the organization just like when a consultant arrives at a company. The company then gives me access for that computer so I can enter and access the tools with which the virtual machine needs to work internally, for example, e-mail and operating systems like SAP or Oracle, base applications like Microsoft 365, company databases. We also integrate our application so organizations can interact with the information because it’s not just automation, it’s managing the process from end to end. There will be points where users need to interact with the organizations. For example, “Give me your opinion on this. Send me this form so I can include it on this billing process”, so they work with the human teams. We charge under the SAS model. So, let's say for the companies, they don't need to erode their capex initially. They can charge as an operating expense and there are many, almost all of them already enter it as an operating expense. What do companies get? It allows companies to have complete control of the process, visualize processes that were previously invisible, as they weren’t digitized, improve productivity, have the employees focus their attention on things they actually want to do.
Of course, there’s always the fear that employees will be replaced by machines, but what actually ends up happening is humans shift to the tasks that they actually enjoy. I’ll give you an example, we worked with a client, Pintuco, and they had the same fears. We did a workshop with the employees and the boss, and we asked them what they needed in their jobs, what did they always ask their boss about, but the boss didn’t have the human resources to approve that request? They told us that are always stuck in the computers instead of working with the vendors. The conversation got very interesting with the employees saying that they don’t have time to talk to the vendors and clients. Now, they have an additional sales force that accompanies the customer, the vendors because the information needs to pivot back and forth from inventory to transportation. So after we came in, that team became an additional sales force, no one was let go. They’re now able to sell better and sell more.
What inspired you to create QAHOLOM?
I don’t think there was anything specific. It came out of many things, what you want from life, what you want to contribute society, what are you passionate about, what you want for your future. I can’t pinpoint something specific, but I always was motivated to be an owner of a company. Since Uni I carried this motivation, and it was normal to have fears about starting it. I always think if a Uni graduate who wants to create a company like QAHOLOM, what would their journey be like? Well, honestly it would be almost impossible. The reason being that you’re just a Uni graduate with no work experience and you’re suddenly approaching CEOs of big companies and you’re trying to sell how you’re going to scale their business with technologies. It’s going to be a hard road convincing them of all of that when you don’t have experience. Anyways, I always had the vision of wanting to be an entrepreneur.
Tell me about what you do on a typical day. What do you do at your job?
Everything. Most importantly, I sell everyday. I call potential clients whether it’s the first call or it’s the second call, or to charge them. I have meetings with the team to know what they’re doing. We use digital tools to be able to work wherever we are. We use tools that help us construct diagrams, models, and brainstorming because this is key in our area. I work with the accountant to look at the invoices, charges. I meet with partners who I’ve had the pleasure of calling partners thanks to doing business with them. It starts when you are in a company, you are very involved in your topic. You meet many people with many interests, and you can see a possibility for business in other areas. I help develop ideas talking with people, small businesses who are just starting to grow. I’m always working on everything!
What do you love about what you do?
I love seeing people grow, change, and improve. We have a focus on the education side too. We have two people in distant locations who we hope can use the tech we use. Right now, we are helping them in this educational process so that one day they can join the company or other companies within the same sector. That’s a big focus for QAHOLOM, being able to help people grow professionally. In the company, I have people from Chocó, people from very humble backgrounds. We finance part of their educations; we help prepare them with technological knowledge. All of this is something I’ve always been passionate about. It motivates me to grow more so I have more money to finance education for people who want to self-improve.
Another thing is being able to contribute to the economic employment here in Colombia, to be able to provide a formal employment to someone and give them a good salary. Transfrorming society even in the smallest circle that you are a part of – that’s something that motivates me. Lastly, I love information at the professional level, how can one transform companies from the use of information technology?
It's funny, I’ve had zero turnover since I started the company. There was one person who left on their own terms because he asked for a promotion, but I couldn’t give him one at the time. The next day he came in and finished the company. This was three years ago, he had access to everything through the Cloud and deleted everything! So, when we woke up there was nothing. We were fortunate enough that Microsoft helped us from India and other countries, and we were able to recover a large part of our operations. Our clients understood what happened and waited for us. After two months, we were able to re-establish our full operations. I tell this story because it’s like if you brought someone in to work for your factory and they light your factory on fire. After him, no one has left our company, everyone has been happy working at QAHOLOM. That’s beautiful to me because I initially thought I was going to have high employee turnover, especially in the technology sector which is used to high turnover.
What’s the hardest part about what you do?
The hardest part is the most passionate part, maintaining the team and maintaining the self-development of the people. It takes time and effort to motivate them, stay present, see the work advance, maintain the discipline, maintain the methodology, etc. The people are the most beautiful part and the hardest part at the same time. The tech is hard but once you study it, you learn it, if the methodology is complex, you work on it in a disciplined form until you get it. People always have moving variables so it’s the most challenging work.
Tell me about some plans QAHOLOM has for the near future.
We want to become the biggest support labour force through digital technology. If someone wants something incredibly fast, we want to be able to train that algorithm to meet that demand. So the challenge right now is perhaps to increase the speed of training on algorithms and mediating the incorporation of new technologies. Today we’ve incorporated Azure OpenAi and that’s helped us improve our training speed significantly. Right now the goal is to take on the new challenges of technology and improve the training of the digital labour force.
Full Interview: https://www.torremagazine.com/interviews/interview-with-leslie-arbouin-vargas-founder-and-ceo-of-qaholom
submitted by Muffinfeds to Entrepreneur [link] [comments]
Tell me about QAHOLOM.
I had been thinking of becoming independent for many years. During this time, I was working in Multi-Latin and Multinational companies like Grupo Familia, Jerónimo Martins, Ernest & Young Consulting. The time came where I decided to take the giant leap forward with all the experience I had accumulated. I had the motivation to be a grain of sand in the country and help with employment opportunities for people and help bring my business idea to the country. I wanted to take advantage of the knowledge I had gained in IT and use that in a closer circle. In addition, the generations of today don’t have as many obligations as we did when were growing up so I wanted to create an economic company where it could be maintained over time rather than risk of being replaced at any time. With all these factors and looking to start a new company in 2016, I decided to retire at my previous position to go after my business idea. Let me just say it’s not easy to decide to leave everything and get out of your comfort zone to lose your monthly salary to pursue your business idea.
Anyways, I left my previous company and dedicated myself to study for three months to create the business plan and business model. I’ve always been very fond of information technology, of the importance of information and the potential that information has. That was my main vision during those three months. This was back in 2016 so remember that back then the terms of artificial intelligence, robotization, digital automation knowledge was still ethereal. I wanted to make those technologies that were already available in Colombia at that time, in companies like Bancolombia or Sura. The processes existed in these very large companies, and I wanted to be able to democratize that access to smaller companies. I began to see that many of these features are charged on demand. The development of the cloud came with great force, through the clouds of Amazon, Microsoft, Huawei. They had been implementing consumption by demand for interesting technology. I was quite interested in this so I decided to go more into the demand management path. After a long time thinking about this, I decided to start.
I was following our company’s phrase phrase: “The future isn’t predicted, it is created”, a phrase from Abraham Lincoln. And from so much thinking and saying “Where is this going to go? What am I going to do?” In that moment it was very hard for me to understand where the technology was going. I said to myself, “Just roll up your sleeves and start with what there is”, and that’s how I decided to start… without even knowing very well what I wanted to build. I was looking to manage complete automated business processes, and not get into the world of pure automation because I don't think pure automation has much value compared to an automated management process. Another pillar was the human value. We never justified a project by the number of people that are replaced, but by the scalability that can be given to the business through the way people work with the technologies. People start to change their mind and they start to change their professional profile and really enhance their value. We approach projects more from that point of view than from the replacement of human resources.
We began with our first client who believed in us and again, we didn’t know what technology to use or how to build it. We slowly began to find the way. We kept looking back at the company phrase I mentioned earlier. It has to be this way, by doing and if not, there is no other way. From there we found the method, the form, how to sell. At first it was very difficult for people to understand me, what we wanted to do, it was even hard for me to explain it because I didn't know how to put it together very well either. Over time we were able to explain our services well. The Pandemic arrived and although it was scary for all of us, it was very important for us because there were more ears in terms of digital issues and it facilitated the entrance to the organizations. We started contracting people and thanks in large part to the pandemic, we never decided to open a brick-and-mortar office. Today, I have many employees that aren’t in Medellín and are in different Colombian cities and countries.
Our business is focused on offering the possibility to digitalize your workforce through a mix of technologies: Digitalization, cognitive learning, robotization, artificial intelligence, and visualization. We master digital work. What we do is we use a virtual machine, and we put it into the organization just like when a consultant arrives at a company. The company then gives me access for that computer so I can enter and access the tools with which the virtual machine needs to work internally, for example, e-mail and operating systems like SAP or Oracle, base applications like Microsoft 365, company databases. We also integrate our application so organizations can interact with the information because it’s not just automation, it’s managing the process from end to end. There will be points where users need to interact with the organizations. For example, “Give me your opinion on this. Send me this form so I can include it on this billing process”, so they work with the human teams. We charge under the SAS model. So, let's say for the companies, they don't need to erode their capex initially. They can charge as an operating expense and there are many, almost all of them already enter it as an operating expense. What do companies get? It allows companies to have complete control of the process, visualize processes that were previously invisible, as they weren’t digitized, improve productivity, have the employees focus their attention on things they actually want to do.
Of course, there’s always the fear that employees will be replaced by machines, but what actually ends up happening is humans shift to the tasks that they actually enjoy. I’ll give you an example, we worked with a client, Pintuco, and they had the same fears. We did a workshop with the employees and the boss, and we asked them what they needed in their jobs, what did they always ask their boss about, but the boss didn’t have the human resources to approve that request? They told us that are always stuck in the computers instead of working with the vendors. The conversation got very interesting with the employees saying that they don’t have time to talk to the vendors and clients. Now, they have an additional sales force that accompanies the customer, the vendors because the information needs to pivot back and forth from inventory to transportation. So after we came in, that team became an additional sales force, no one was let go. They’re now able to sell better and sell more.
What inspired you to create QAHOLOM?
I don’t think there was anything specific. It came out of many things, what you want from life, what you want to contribute society, what are you passionate about, what you want for your future. I can’t pinpoint something specific, but I always was motivated to be an owner of a company. Since Uni I carried this motivation, and it was normal to have fears about starting it. I always think if a Uni graduate who wants to create a company like QAHOLOM, what would their journey be like? Well, honestly it would be almost impossible. The reason being that you’re just a Uni graduate with no work experience and you’re suddenly approaching CEOs of big companies and you’re trying to sell how you’re going to scale their business with technologies. It’s going to be a hard road convincing them of all of that when you don’t have experience. Anyways, I always had the vision of wanting to be an entrepreneur.
Tell me about what you do on a typical day. What do you do at your job?
Everything. Most importantly, I sell everyday. I call potential clients whether it’s the first call or it’s the second call, or to charge them. I have meetings with the team to know what they’re doing. We use digital tools to be able to work wherever we are. We use tools that help us construct diagrams, models, and brainstorming because this is key in our area. I work with the accountant to look at the invoices, charges. I meet with partners who I’ve had the pleasure of calling partners thanks to doing business with them. It starts when you are in a company, you are very involved in your topic. You meet many people with many interests, and you can see a possibility for business in other areas. I help develop ideas talking with people, small businesses who are just starting to grow. I’m always working on everything!
What do you love about what you do?
I love seeing people grow, change, and improve. We have a focus on the education side too. We have two people in distant locations who we hope can use the tech we use. Right now, we are helping them in this educational process so that one day they can join the company or other companies within the same sector. That’s a big focus for QAHOLOM, being able to help people grow professionally. In the company, I have people from Chocó, people from very humble backgrounds. We finance part of their educations; we help prepare them with technological knowledge. All of this is something I’ve always been passionate about. It motivates me to grow more so I have more money to finance education for people who want to self-improve.
Another thing is being able to contribute to the economic employment here in Colombia, to be able to provide a formal employment to someone and give them a good salary. Transfrorming society even in the smallest circle that you are a part of – that’s something that motivates me. Lastly, I love information at the professional level, how can one transform companies from the use of information technology?
It's funny, I’ve had zero turnover since I started the company. There was one person who left on their own terms because he asked for a promotion, but I couldn’t give him one at the time. The next day he came in and finished the company. This was three years ago, he had access to everything through the Cloud and deleted everything! So, when we woke up there was nothing. We were fortunate enough that Microsoft helped us from India and other countries, and we were able to recover a large part of our operations. Our clients understood what happened and waited for us. After two months, we were able to re-establish our full operations. I tell this story because it’s like if you brought someone in to work for your factory and they light your factory on fire. After him, no one has left our company, everyone has been happy working at QAHOLOM. That’s beautiful to me because I initially thought I was going to have high employee turnover, especially in the technology sector which is used to high turnover.
What’s the hardest part about what you do?
The hardest part is the most passionate part, maintaining the team and maintaining the self-development of the people. It takes time and effort to motivate them, stay present, see the work advance, maintain the discipline, maintain the methodology, etc. The people are the most beautiful part and the hardest part at the same time. The tech is hard but once you study it, you learn it, if the methodology is complex, you work on it in a disciplined form until you get it. People always have moving variables so it’s the most challenging work.
Tell me about some plans QAHOLOM has for the near future.
We want to become the biggest support labour force through digital technology. If someone wants something incredibly fast, we want to be able to train that algorithm to meet that demand. So the challenge right now is perhaps to increase the speed of training on algorithms and mediating the incorporation of new technologies. Today we’ve incorporated Azure OpenAi and that’s helped us improve our training speed significantly. Right now the goal is to take on the new challenges of technology and improve the training of the digital labour force.
Full Interview: https://www.torremagazine.com/interviews/interview-with-leslie-arbouin-vargas-founder-and-ceo-of-qaholom
2023.06.10 22:20 Hanna_bananaAND A little info about me 💜
Connection terminated. I'm sorry to interrupt you, Elizabeth. If you still even remember that name. But I'm afraid you've been misinformed. You are not here to receive a gift. Nor, have you been called here by the individual you assume. Although, you have indeed been called.
You have all been called here. Into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust of blood has driven you in endless circles. Chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber. Always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach. But, you will never find them, none of you will. This is where your story ends.
And to you, my brave volunteer. Who somehow found this job listing not intended for you. Although, there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be.
I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered. And the memory of everything that started this. Can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors. Be still, and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps, warm. Waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you. The darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole. So, don't keep the Devil waiting, old friend.
My daughter, if you can hear me. I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day. The day you were shut out and left to die. No one was there to lift you up in their arms. The way you lifted others into yours. And then, what became of you? I should have known, you wouldn't be content to disappear. Not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest, for you, and for those you have carried in your arms.
This ends. For all of us. End communication.
submitted by Hanna_bananaAND to u/Hanna_bananaAND [link] [comments]
You have all been called here. Into a labyrinth of sounds and smells, misdirection and misfortune. A labyrinth with no exit, a maze with no prize. You don't even realize that you are trapped. Your lust of blood has driven you in endless circles. Chasing the cries of children in some unseen chamber. Always seeming so near, yet somehow out of reach. But, you will never find them, none of you will. This is where your story ends.
And to you, my brave volunteer. Who somehow found this job listing not intended for you. Although, there was a way out planned for you, I have a feeling that's not what you want. I have a feeling that you are right where you want to be.
I am remaining as well. I am nearby. This place will not be remembered. And the memory of everything that started this. Can finally begin to fade away. As the agony of every tragedy should. And to you monsters trapped in the corridors. Be still, and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps, warm. Waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you. The darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole. So, don't keep the Devil waiting, old friend.
My daughter, if you can hear me. I knew you would return as well. It's in your nature to protect the innocent. I'm sorry that on that day. The day you were shut out and left to die. No one was there to lift you up in their arms. The way you lifted others into yours. And then, what became of you? I should have known, you wouldn't be content to disappear. Not my daughter. I couldn't save you then, so let me save you now. It's time to rest, for you, and for those you have carried in your arms.
This ends. For all of us. End communication.
2023.06.10 22:16 Ok_Put9573 New to Hyderabad... Looks perfect for foodie like me
Weekends mostly are not planned specially for me but sometimes crazy thing happens
Since it was raining for sometime today, we were finding new places suddenly comes palm arabiana near RGI airport. A tour of the restaurant is worth if you are totally bored by seeing only cemented infrastructures. Palm arabiana is an open place with almost everything from food to entertainment park, cricket and football ground, Go karting.
submitted by Ok_Put9573 to hyderabad [link] [comments]
Since it was raining for sometime today, we were finding new places suddenly comes palm arabiana near RGI airport. A tour of the restaurant is worth if you are totally bored by seeing only cemented infrastructures. Palm arabiana is an open place with almost everything from food to entertainment park, cricket and football ground, Go karting.
2023.06.10 22:15 StirlingGold467 Is she trying to get me jealous, or is she actually not interested?
I (23M) met a girl (22F) at university one day through mutual friends. We became close, started studying together, talk about life, general schoolwork etc. At first I thought she was just interested in being friends, so I didn't want to ask her out and make things awkward.
Over time though, I felt she was enjoying my company more than her other friends. Since meeting 2 months ago, she's been open to sharing personal aspects about her life like her relationship with her family, what makes her stressed and telling me how she's getting jealous of her friends findings partners and getting engaged. She also said she doesn't have any single friends and that all of them are in relationsips. To me, I felt like she was signaling that she's available and I was planning maybe she would be interested if I asked her out in the near future. That, plus I notice that she scans the room to find me after an exam or class and likes walking with me instead of her other friends.
One week after that conversation though, she's was giving me the cold shoulder when we were in our friend group and I overheard her telling our (female) friend that she likes tall and muscular farm guys. I'm 5'9 and 120lbs and haven't stepped foot on a farm before. It honestly took a toll on my self esteem. If I wasn't her type, why would she give me all this attention? Catching her stare from the corner of my eye, leaning in close to talk to me, laughing when I'm not trying to be funny. Was I misreading these signs as friendliness? Even if she was just being friendly, why would she abruptly treat me as if I didn't exist and get irritated when I tried to talk to her when one week prior everything was perfectly fine?
submitted by StirlingGold467 to AskMenAdvice [link] [comments]
Over time though, I felt she was enjoying my company more than her other friends. Since meeting 2 months ago, she's been open to sharing personal aspects about her life like her relationship with her family, what makes her stressed and telling me how she's getting jealous of her friends findings partners and getting engaged. She also said she doesn't have any single friends and that all of them are in relationsips. To me, I felt like she was signaling that she's available and I was planning maybe she would be interested if I asked her out in the near future. That, plus I notice that she scans the room to find me after an exam or class and likes walking with me instead of her other friends.
One week after that conversation though, she's was giving me the cold shoulder when we were in our friend group and I overheard her telling our (female) friend that she likes tall and muscular farm guys. I'm 5'9 and 120lbs and haven't stepped foot on a farm before. It honestly took a toll on my self esteem. If I wasn't her type, why would she give me all this attention? Catching her stare from the corner of my eye, leaning in close to talk to me, laughing when I'm not trying to be funny. Was I misreading these signs as friendliness? Even if she was just being friendly, why would she abruptly treat me as if I didn't exist and get irritated when I tried to talk to her when one week prior everything was perfectly fine?
2023.06.10 22:10 MalaiahFeet Newbie!!
 | Hello! I’m Malaiah, 24, female. I wear US women Size 8.5. I’m new to this as I’m hoping you’ll like my content. My feet look small, a little chubby, my toes are short as well. submitted by MalaiahFeet to feetboys [link] [comments] I just got my toes done, had a white gel polish on. The nail tech hurt my left big toe!! Open to selling and custom content!! Send me a message c: Also, I’m up for constructive criticism so I could be better. |
2023.06.10 22:10 quokkchidna 37 [M4R] Sydney Australia - Active/creative & friendly individual looking for long term friends from near or far!
Hi there, I'm looking to find a friend, either near or far that's keen to build a long-term mutual effort connection with each other!
I’d describe myself as friendly, open & compassionate, I also carry the qualities of being honest and straightforward in a easy going sense which in the typical way us Aussies are renowned for!
I keep active with going to the gym, running, cycling, occasionally swimming laps and in the warmer months snorkeling. I also enjoy being creative with drawing cars, practicing songs on the guitar & heading out and about to participate in photography
When I need to wind down I enjoy listening to music (mostly Alternative pop/rock/folk/electric) on occasions after all that exercise with recovering in the spa or sauna. Not much of a couch potato but sometimes I don't mind abit of TV shows (usually comedy/drama/docos) finally for those gamers out there I also play abit on the playstation.
Thanks for reading and if I've piqued your interest fell free to send me a chat message, I'll genuinely appreciate it :)
submitted by quokkchidna to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]
I’d describe myself as friendly, open & compassionate, I also carry the qualities of being honest and straightforward in a easy going sense which in the typical way us Aussies are renowned for!
I keep active with going to the gym, running, cycling, occasionally swimming laps and in the warmer months snorkeling. I also enjoy being creative with drawing cars, practicing songs on the guitar & heading out and about to participate in photography
When I need to wind down I enjoy listening to music (mostly Alternative pop/rock/folk/electric) on occasions after all that exercise with recovering in the spa or sauna. Not much of a couch potato but sometimes I don't mind abit of TV shows (usually comedy/drama/docos) finally for those gamers out there I also play abit on the playstation.
Thanks for reading and if I've piqued your interest fell free to send me a chat message, I'll genuinely appreciate it :)
2023.06.10 22:07 Vertex138 /r/cursed_videomemes is going to be locked on June 12th in regards to the recent API policy changes
Yes, yes, I'm sure by now, you have heard about subreddits locking, privating, or "going dark" during this time period. If you haven't, here's a good source to read about what's going on.
TL;DR: On June 12th, the subreddit will be locked. The subreddit will remain locked until the situation shows signs of genuine improvement, or will instead be made private if the situation grows much worse.
I'm not about to stand on a soapbox and preach as to how you should feel about the API changes, nor am I going to try to upload a tabloid-styled infographic with a Rick and Morty joke about how serious this choice will affect Reddit and why you should be shitting yourself about it. You're also not going to see me commenting on a massive post about how """proud""" I am to be closing the subreddit in protest and be added to "le goodboy list". However, we have used the Reddit API in the past to run a couple of themed bots, generate download links, and provide great automation for our moderation, mostly on the parent subreddit, /cursedvideos. This subreddit has grown substantially more busy in the part year or so, and this API was crucial to our growth and development. If these changes were made three or four years ago, our subreddit wouldn't be nearly the size it is today.
Reddit is a place for self expression, and connecting with people who share the same interests as you. It's about open ended discussion for virtually anybody. Myself, our moderation team, and our tens of thousands of active subscribers all love cursed videos, for instance; and although we love to bicker and moan at each other, this opportunity has let us all share media we enjoy with so many other people (although this is just a glorified shitposting sub and you all know that). Having a service like this that is accessible to everybody for practically free has left a great impact on virtually millions of people, with thousands of newcomers everyday. There's a reason why "Create a Subreddit" is such a pronounced feature; it's something that literally anybody with an account can do.
A limitation to any service will always come as a disappointment, whether is come from inaccessibility, greed, or lack of proper staffing. It's pretty disappointing to see the team that began this experience grow to be so out of touch with their community. While we understand that expressing personal opinions or trying to create panic about these changes is not productive, it is important to acknowledge the value that the Reddit API has brought to countless communities.
On June 12th, the subreddit will be locked. You'll still be able to view old videos and comments, at least for a while, but you won't be able to submit videos or comments. We were intending on unlocking everything once again on the 14th, but with the climate of this situation continuing to grow even worse, I don't believe that would be beneficial for the situation. The subreddit will remain locked until the situation shows signs of genuine improvement, or will instead be made private if the situation grows much worse.
Ah. I rambled. I do that a lot. Anyways, that's pretty much it.
submitted by Vertex138 to cursed_videomemes [link] [comments]
TL;DR: On June 12th, the subreddit will be locked. The subreddit will remain locked until the situation shows signs of genuine improvement, or will instead be made private if the situation grows much worse.
I'm not about to stand on a soapbox and preach as to how you should feel about the API changes, nor am I going to try to upload a tabloid-styled infographic with a Rick and Morty joke about how serious this choice will affect Reddit and why you should be shitting yourself about it. You're also not going to see me commenting on a massive post about how """proud""" I am to be closing the subreddit in protest and be added to "le goodboy list". However, we have used the Reddit API in the past to run a couple of themed bots, generate download links, and provide great automation for our moderation, mostly on the parent subreddit, /cursedvideos. This subreddit has grown substantially more busy in the part year or so, and this API was crucial to our growth and development. If these changes were made three or four years ago, our subreddit wouldn't be nearly the size it is today.
Reddit is a place for self expression, and connecting with people who share the same interests as you. It's about open ended discussion for virtually anybody. Myself, our moderation team, and our tens of thousands of active subscribers all love cursed videos, for instance; and although we love to bicker and moan at each other, this opportunity has let us all share media we enjoy with so many other people (although this is just a glorified shitposting sub and you all know that). Having a service like this that is accessible to everybody for practically free has left a great impact on virtually millions of people, with thousands of newcomers everyday. There's a reason why "Create a Subreddit" is such a pronounced feature; it's something that literally anybody with an account can do.
A limitation to any service will always come as a disappointment, whether is come from inaccessibility, greed, or lack of proper staffing. It's pretty disappointing to see the team that began this experience grow to be so out of touch with their community. While we understand that expressing personal opinions or trying to create panic about these changes is not productive, it is important to acknowledge the value that the Reddit API has brought to countless communities.
On June 12th, the subreddit will be locked. You'll still be able to view old videos and comments, at least for a while, but you won't be able to submit videos or comments. We were intending on unlocking everything once again on the 14th, but with the climate of this situation continuing to grow even worse, I don't believe that would be beneficial for the situation. The subreddit will remain locked until the situation shows signs of genuine improvement, or will instead be made private if the situation grows much worse.
Ah. I rambled. I do that a lot. Anyways, that's pretty much it.
2023.06.10 22:01 Erutious Stragview Stories: Midnight Visitation
Jasper frowned as he read over the letter, the summons looking like no other mail he’d ever received.
On Saturday, you are summoned to attend Midnight Visitation as part of your rehabilitation. Attendance is non-negotiable, and refusal will result in forced attendance followed by time spent in solitary. Be ready by no later than eleven. The Warden
“Whoa, that's pretty cool,” said Gavin, reading over his shoulder, “Who do you know that would come all the way down here at midnight to see you?”
Jasper didn’t know, and he told him as much. He was in here for killing the last person who had given a crap about him, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would make the trip in the daytime, let alone at night. His parents had disowned him after he’d killed her, and most of his family refused to have anything to do with him. Some of his cousins would still accept his letters, but few of them would bother to write back. Jasper was perplexed by the invitation, but, by the sound of it, it wasn’t much of an invitation anyway. Attendance seemed to be mandatory, and he was pretty sure most of the guards on the compound would enjoy dragging him there in chains.
The letter had come with their mail, and it was one of the few times the guard had called his name. The last year and a half had been difficult for Jasper, but he was getting used to making it on his own. He’d done it all his life, hadn’t he? His mom and dad had been too busy with their own thing to care about their middle child. Barbara was the smart one, Reggy was the athletic people person, and Jasper…well, Jasper was the screw up. His grades had never been too good, his achievements few and far between, and when Grace had come into the picture, his parents figured it was the best Jasper could do.
Jasper had agreed with them. Grace had been his everything from the moment she agreed to go steady with him. Grace was motivated, a natural saleswoman who had strived for something more than middle management. She had a successful business by the time she graduated college, and Jasper was happy to stay at home and keep the house. Jasper provided her with stability, someone to come home to who lacked the means to do any better, but he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.
That's why she had left him, and that's why he had killed her.
He couldn’t stand to be apart from her, couldn’t stand for her to be with someone else, and now he was stuck in Stragview for his lapse in judgment.
That's what made the note so cryptic, and the longer he thought about it, the shorter the list of people who would come all the way out here at night became.
He did a little more than wait, he supposed. Jasper had asked around about this Midnight Visitation, but no one seemed to know much about it. The younger guys all shook their heads, and the older guys clammed up when he asked them. It was like a magic spell had been cast over the whole thing, and when you asked some of these guys, it seemed to sap the life out of them before your eyes. Garth, one of the more gregarious murderers on Jasper’s block, had looked downright scared when he’d asked him about the visitation.
“I can’t say nothin,” Garth had said, “and neither will you once you go. It’s a secret that you keep after that. It’s something that changes you, or you keep going back till it does.”
“What changes you?” Jasper had asked, but Garth wouldn’t say anymore.
“Get away from me. Get away, before he thinks I told you.”
He’d left in a hurry then, their chess game only four moves in, and Jasper found he had more questions than before.
He supposed that all would be answered on Saturday, and as the days passed, he found himself a little excited by the whole idea of the thing.
When Saturday night finally arrived, Officer Gauge found him on his bunk, his best uniform still looking ragged, as he waited for whatever might come. Gauge held out a pair of cuffs, telling Jasper that he’d have to cuff him before they left. Jasper nodded, putting his hands behind his back, but Gauge told him that in the front would be fine. Jasper shrugged, it was his show, and let him cuff him in the front. Some of the guys who were still awake made suggestive noises as he left, some of them telling him to enjoy his “night visit”, but a lot of the older guys were noticeably quiet.
Gauge led him to the visitation area, the little spot behind the staff check-in area, and when Jasper shook his cuffs at him, Gauge told him to sit down and put his hands on the eye hook on the table. There were a few guys in here, some of them Jasper knew, but most he didn't, and they all seemed to be cuffed to the protruding hook in the center of the table. Jasper started to buck, but realized it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever this was, they would have him one way or another. He set his hands down on the table, and Gauge pulled a lock out of his pocket. He secured Jasper to the spot before leaving in an all fired hurry.
Whatever was about to happen, Gauge clearly didn’t want any part of it.
Jasper glanced around the room, taking in the men who sat around him. There were about twelve in all, all of them shackled to the table, and they were all spaced so that at least three chairs separated them from another inmate. Most of them looked confused or unsure, but a couple of them looked like they knew what was coming; knew and weren’t looking forward to it. One of them, a big bald bruiser named Dennis, had his head against the table as he cried nakedly between his elbows. Another who Jasper didn’t know was praying in fast spanish. A third, Jasper thought his name might be Conroy, was thrashing around as he pulled at his bonds. His eyes were roving around like a scared horse, and he kept pulling at his cuffs until he heard a lock click near the back of the room.
Then he went still and Jasper thought he saw him listening for something.
A pair of double metal doors at the back of the room burst open then, and Jasper saw a small group walk in unattended by guards. Two of them were children, a pair of twins who looked ghostly under the dim fluorescents. One was a dark haired woman who sat down in front of the man as he prayed. The last was a tall, homely woman who took the seat across from a younger inmate that Jasper couldn’t put a name to. The young man stiffened as she sat down, and the pair was close enough that Jasper could suddenly see that the problem wasn’t the womans face, but rather what was on it. She had a crop of mold growing from ear to ear and as it wove around her eyes, it made her look like she was wearing glasses.
“Hello, Emanuel.” she said, her voice thick but not unhappy to see him, “I see prison had suited you.”
“What the fuck is this?” the inmate said, trying to back away and failing as the chains caught him, “you ain’t real. You look like my ma, but you ain’t my ma.”
“Of course I am, Em. How else would I know about how you drowned me in the bathtub? How else would I know what you did to me before you buried me in the basement? How else would I know how much you cried before you turned yourself in? You felt me watching you from the corner of your room, and it ate at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The same way,” She leaned in slyly as she grinned, “that you ate at me after I was gone.”
The inmates started making a sound like someone choking on air. He kept pulling away from the woman, but the chains brought him up yet again. Jasper looked away, but he could see similar scenes of horror unfolding around him as more people joined them. The twins sat down in front of the sobbing man, but he wouldn’t lift his head. He wouldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them, but the longer Jasper looked, the more he could see the bruises around the necks. The deep purple marks looked like individual fingers, and they seemed incable speaking through their bruised throats. They sat menacingly across from him, and every peek he gave them was followed by a hopeless cry of terror.
Others came, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, wives, and everything in between. The inmates' reactions were as varied as the specters. One man could only repeat the phrase “I’m sorry” as a half naked boy of seventeen sat silently across from him. The mother and son he had seen first were now sitting with her hands on his as he rocked and shook his head in negation. What could only be an older man's parents asked if he were proud of what he’d done to them, but he only sat silently and stared right through them.
Jasper wondered when it would be his turn, but he didn’t have long to ponder.
“Sorry I’m late, dear. The commute was dreadful.”
His breath came out as little more than a puff of smoke, and when he turned to look at her, Jasper could tell that it was Grace only by the necklace that she wore. He’d given her that necklace for their third anniversary, and he supposed her parents had left it on her when they buried her. Her face, a face he had loved so much, was gone. She looked like a burn victim, like a used up match stick, and the eyes that looked back at him glowed from empty sockets. Jasper wanted to scream, wanted to pull away as her red and oozing hand came out to touch his, but he couldn’t muster the strength.
She was burnt, her beauty stolen in death, and that too was his fault.
After he’d blind sided her, begging for another chance, she had told him to get lost. She said she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give her children, and suggested that he go back to his moms house before her new boyfriend found them together. At the mention of a new boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck as she turned away and slammed her head against the wall of the stairwell outside her apartment. He had kept right on doing this until she stopped struggling, and even then he did it a few more times. He only stopped when her head began to dribble something besides blood and he realized he had broken her skull. He was scared then, afraid that he would get caught, and when he put her in his car, he wasn’t sure what he intended to do with her.
The police had caught him in his parents backyard, one of her neighbors having seen the whole thing, but by then, Grace had been a charcoal briquette.
He’d heard the funeral had been closed casket, but apparently they hadn’t closed it tight enough.
“Whats wrong dear? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t live without me? I believe it was a little bit before you smashed my head against the wall. I assumed that, since you’d taken all that time to burn me, that you wanted me to look this way. Well, have a good look, Jasper. See what you’ve done to your Grace!”
Every word she spoke sent flakes of her tongue and lips onto the table, onto his hands, and onto Jasper’s face. She was leaning in closer, bringing her horrible visage closer to him, and Jasper felt his sanity beginning to whimper. As she brought the remains of her blackened lips together, he added his scream to the others. As they pressed against his flesh, he let his eyes roll up to the whites. He tried to stay conscious, but the sheer horror of the situation was eroding his mind. This couldn’t be. Things like this weren’t real. Grace was dead, she couldn’t come back to torment him.
As he regained consciousness, he found that he was still chained to the table and the terrible Grace was still sitting across from him.
“You seem to have gotten a little sleepy, my love. That's okay. The Warden was nice enough to extend invitation for the whole night, and I was more than happy to come and see my best fella.”
Jasper screamed, screamed until his throat broke, and when Gauge opened the door at five o’clock, all those present were as silent as the grave.
Gauge led them away like a flock of lambs, easily correcting them when they tried to stumble out of line. He had been doing this for a while, two or three years at least, and he had learned not to question what went on behind that door. He heard begging, screaming, the mad laughter of the deranged, and at the end of the month, he found an extra five hundred dollars added to his check for every Midnight Visitation he conducted.
His smile curdled when he remembered what the Warden had said to him when he gave him the position.
“I know you’re struggling to feed your appetites, and its only a matter of time before you end up inside these walls for doing something foolish. Why not let me help you feed those urges, and in exchange, I won't tell anyone what sort of debauchery you get up to in your spare time.”
The Warden was a weird one, but Gauge had to admit that he always kept his promises.
Gauge wondered what he put these poor saps through, but quickly put it out of his mind.
The Wardens games were none of his concern, and how he chose to discipline his inmates was his business.
submitted by Erutious to TalesOfDarkness [link] [comments]
On Saturday, you are summoned to attend Midnight Visitation as part of your rehabilitation. Attendance is non-negotiable, and refusal will result in forced attendance followed by time spent in solitary. Be ready by no later than eleven. The Warden
“Whoa, that's pretty cool,” said Gavin, reading over his shoulder, “Who do you know that would come all the way down here at midnight to see you?”
Jasper didn’t know, and he told him as much. He was in here for killing the last person who had given a crap about him, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would make the trip in the daytime, let alone at night. His parents had disowned him after he’d killed her, and most of his family refused to have anything to do with him. Some of his cousins would still accept his letters, but few of them would bother to write back. Jasper was perplexed by the invitation, but, by the sound of it, it wasn’t much of an invitation anyway. Attendance seemed to be mandatory, and he was pretty sure most of the guards on the compound would enjoy dragging him there in chains.
The letter had come with their mail, and it was one of the few times the guard had called his name. The last year and a half had been difficult for Jasper, but he was getting used to making it on his own. He’d done it all his life, hadn’t he? His mom and dad had been too busy with their own thing to care about their middle child. Barbara was the smart one, Reggy was the athletic people person, and Jasper…well, Jasper was the screw up. His grades had never been too good, his achievements few and far between, and when Grace had come into the picture, his parents figured it was the best Jasper could do.
Jasper had agreed with them. Grace had been his everything from the moment she agreed to go steady with him. Grace was motivated, a natural saleswoman who had strived for something more than middle management. She had a successful business by the time she graduated college, and Jasper was happy to stay at home and keep the house. Jasper provided her with stability, someone to come home to who lacked the means to do any better, but he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.
That's why she had left him, and that's why he had killed her.
He couldn’t stand to be apart from her, couldn’t stand for her to be with someone else, and now he was stuck in Stragview for his lapse in judgment.
That's what made the note so cryptic, and the longer he thought about it, the shorter the list of people who would come all the way out here at night became.
He did a little more than wait, he supposed. Jasper had asked around about this Midnight Visitation, but no one seemed to know much about it. The younger guys all shook their heads, and the older guys clammed up when he asked them. It was like a magic spell had been cast over the whole thing, and when you asked some of these guys, it seemed to sap the life out of them before your eyes. Garth, one of the more gregarious murderers on Jasper’s block, had looked downright scared when he’d asked him about the visitation.
“I can’t say nothin,” Garth had said, “and neither will you once you go. It’s a secret that you keep after that. It’s something that changes you, or you keep going back till it does.”
“What changes you?” Jasper had asked, but Garth wouldn’t say anymore.
“Get away from me. Get away, before he thinks I told you.”
He’d left in a hurry then, their chess game only four moves in, and Jasper found he had more questions than before.
He supposed that all would be answered on Saturday, and as the days passed, he found himself a little excited by the whole idea of the thing.
When Saturday night finally arrived, Officer Gauge found him on his bunk, his best uniform still looking ragged, as he waited for whatever might come. Gauge held out a pair of cuffs, telling Jasper that he’d have to cuff him before they left. Jasper nodded, putting his hands behind his back, but Gauge told him that in the front would be fine. Jasper shrugged, it was his show, and let him cuff him in the front. Some of the guys who were still awake made suggestive noises as he left, some of them telling him to enjoy his “night visit”, but a lot of the older guys were noticeably quiet.
Gauge led him to the visitation area, the little spot behind the staff check-in area, and when Jasper shook his cuffs at him, Gauge told him to sit down and put his hands on the eye hook on the table. There were a few guys in here, some of them Jasper knew, but most he didn't, and they all seemed to be cuffed to the protruding hook in the center of the table. Jasper started to buck, but realized it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever this was, they would have him one way or another. He set his hands down on the table, and Gauge pulled a lock out of his pocket. He secured Jasper to the spot before leaving in an all fired hurry.
Whatever was about to happen, Gauge clearly didn’t want any part of it.
Jasper glanced around the room, taking in the men who sat around him. There were about twelve in all, all of them shackled to the table, and they were all spaced so that at least three chairs separated them from another inmate. Most of them looked confused or unsure, but a couple of them looked like they knew what was coming; knew and weren’t looking forward to it. One of them, a big bald bruiser named Dennis, had his head against the table as he cried nakedly between his elbows. Another who Jasper didn’t know was praying in fast spanish. A third, Jasper thought his name might be Conroy, was thrashing around as he pulled at his bonds. His eyes were roving around like a scared horse, and he kept pulling at his cuffs until he heard a lock click near the back of the room.
Then he went still and Jasper thought he saw him listening for something.
A pair of double metal doors at the back of the room burst open then, and Jasper saw a small group walk in unattended by guards. Two of them were children, a pair of twins who looked ghostly under the dim fluorescents. One was a dark haired woman who sat down in front of the man as he prayed. The last was a tall, homely woman who took the seat across from a younger inmate that Jasper couldn’t put a name to. The young man stiffened as she sat down, and the pair was close enough that Jasper could suddenly see that the problem wasn’t the womans face, but rather what was on it. She had a crop of mold growing from ear to ear and as it wove around her eyes, it made her look like she was wearing glasses.
“Hello, Emanuel.” she said, her voice thick but not unhappy to see him, “I see prison had suited you.”
“What the fuck is this?” the inmate said, trying to back away and failing as the chains caught him, “you ain’t real. You look like my ma, but you ain’t my ma.”
“Of course I am, Em. How else would I know about how you drowned me in the bathtub? How else would I know what you did to me before you buried me in the basement? How else would I know how much you cried before you turned yourself in? You felt me watching you from the corner of your room, and it ate at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The same way,” She leaned in slyly as she grinned, “that you ate at me after I was gone.”
The inmates started making a sound like someone choking on air. He kept pulling away from the woman, but the chains brought him up yet again. Jasper looked away, but he could see similar scenes of horror unfolding around him as more people joined them. The twins sat down in front of the sobbing man, but he wouldn’t lift his head. He wouldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them, but the longer Jasper looked, the more he could see the bruises around the necks. The deep purple marks looked like individual fingers, and they seemed incable speaking through their bruised throats. They sat menacingly across from him, and every peek he gave them was followed by a hopeless cry of terror.
Others came, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, wives, and everything in between. The inmates' reactions were as varied as the specters. One man could only repeat the phrase “I’m sorry” as a half naked boy of seventeen sat silently across from him. The mother and son he had seen first were now sitting with her hands on his as he rocked and shook his head in negation. What could only be an older man's parents asked if he were proud of what he’d done to them, but he only sat silently and stared right through them.
Jasper wondered when it would be his turn, but he didn’t have long to ponder.
“Sorry I’m late, dear. The commute was dreadful.”
His breath came out as little more than a puff of smoke, and when he turned to look at her, Jasper could tell that it was Grace only by the necklace that she wore. He’d given her that necklace for their third anniversary, and he supposed her parents had left it on her when they buried her. Her face, a face he had loved so much, was gone. She looked like a burn victim, like a used up match stick, and the eyes that looked back at him glowed from empty sockets. Jasper wanted to scream, wanted to pull away as her red and oozing hand came out to touch his, but he couldn’t muster the strength.
She was burnt, her beauty stolen in death, and that too was his fault.
After he’d blind sided her, begging for another chance, she had told him to get lost. She said she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give her children, and suggested that he go back to his moms house before her new boyfriend found them together. At the mention of a new boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck as she turned away and slammed her head against the wall of the stairwell outside her apartment. He had kept right on doing this until she stopped struggling, and even then he did it a few more times. He only stopped when her head began to dribble something besides blood and he realized he had broken her skull. He was scared then, afraid that he would get caught, and when he put her in his car, he wasn’t sure what he intended to do with her.
The police had caught him in his parents backyard, one of her neighbors having seen the whole thing, but by then, Grace had been a charcoal briquette.
He’d heard the funeral had been closed casket, but apparently they hadn’t closed it tight enough.
“Whats wrong dear? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t live without me? I believe it was a little bit before you smashed my head against the wall. I assumed that, since you’d taken all that time to burn me, that you wanted me to look this way. Well, have a good look, Jasper. See what you’ve done to your Grace!”
Every word she spoke sent flakes of her tongue and lips onto the table, onto his hands, and onto Jasper’s face. She was leaning in closer, bringing her horrible visage closer to him, and Jasper felt his sanity beginning to whimper. As she brought the remains of her blackened lips together, he added his scream to the others. As they pressed against his flesh, he let his eyes roll up to the whites. He tried to stay conscious, but the sheer horror of the situation was eroding his mind. This couldn’t be. Things like this weren’t real. Grace was dead, she couldn’t come back to torment him.
As he regained consciousness, he found that he was still chained to the table and the terrible Grace was still sitting across from him.
“You seem to have gotten a little sleepy, my love. That's okay. The Warden was nice enough to extend invitation for the whole night, and I was more than happy to come and see my best fella.”
Jasper screamed, screamed until his throat broke, and when Gauge opened the door at five o’clock, all those present were as silent as the grave.
Gauge led them away like a flock of lambs, easily correcting them when they tried to stumble out of line. He had been doing this for a while, two or three years at least, and he had learned not to question what went on behind that door. He heard begging, screaming, the mad laughter of the deranged, and at the end of the month, he found an extra five hundred dollars added to his check for every Midnight Visitation he conducted.
His smile curdled when he remembered what the Warden had said to him when he gave him the position.
“I know you’re struggling to feed your appetites, and its only a matter of time before you end up inside these walls for doing something foolish. Why not let me help you feed those urges, and in exchange, I won't tell anyone what sort of debauchery you get up to in your spare time.”
The Warden was a weird one, but Gauge had to admit that he always kept his promises.
Gauge wondered what he put these poor saps through, but quickly put it out of his mind.
The Wardens games were none of his concern, and how he chose to discipline his inmates was his business.
2023.06.10 22:01 Dubspell Doppelganger story comes full circle
So I met this very awesome guy near Christmastime 2013 in Oakland, CA while fleeing a bad family situation in Arizona. We were immediately in our own world, falling in love fast when the reality of his divorce-in-process and some of my own circumstances started to interfere. When I stopped seeing him he started drinking very heavily and got sick. We were both pretty bummed it didn’t work out, but said goodbye on very good terms. When I returned to Arizona (2014) and was bussing to work at night, I saw him. The night of a gorgeous full-moon later that year in December, no less. I was walking from the bus stop to work when I saw someone standing at the corner up ahead, looking down at a cell phone. This alone was odd, because I never saw ANYONE on this stretch at that time of night. The closer I got, the more I realized it was the guy from Oakland. I couldn’t understand why he would be in Arizona, or how he could know where I was. My stride quickened as I was excited to approach and maybe talk to this person, but when I got about 50 yards away and could see it was DEFINITELY him (aside from this strange “softness” to the skin on his face he did not normally have - but the haircut, sideburns, his height, build, shoes, and clothes were incredibly uncanny) he looked up from his phone, directly at me, and then took off at a full run up the adjacent street. I hurried to the corner, looked down the street he’d run up, and saw absolutely no one. This was a friday night. I would work whole weekends (group home for foster youth) and return home on Sunday mornings. When I got home I took a very long nap, as that was my routine at the time. When I woke up, I had received text messages from the guy in Oakland, out of the blue. He said he had been thinking of me since it was Christmas time again, and that he just wanted to say hi. I asked what he’d been doing that friday and he said he’d simply worked, gone home, and gone to bed. I told him what I’d experienced and he had no more answers than I did. I had several dreams later that someone was relaying his passing to me at a party in Oakland, but shrugged it off as my own fears toward his struggle with alcohol. Nonetheless I run google check ups on him every once in a while. Just recently found out that in 2021 he passed away at the age of 41. I’m not sure how and will likely never ask his family, but it feels like I was being warned and did nothing to reach out to him. This all does fit the classic doppelganger definition so well, so I thought I'd share!
submitted by Dubspell to Paranormal [link] [comments]
2023.06.10 22:01 Vertex138 /r/cursedvideos is going to be locked on June 12th in regards to the recent API policy changes
Yes, yes, I'm sure by now, you have heard about subreddits locking, privating, or "going dark" during this time period. If you haven't, here's a good source to read about what's going on.
TL;DR: On June 12th, the subreddit will be locked. The subreddit will remain locked until the situation shows signs of genuine improvement, or will instead be made private if the situation grows much worse.
I'm not about to stand on a soapbox and preach as to how you should feel about the API changes, nor am I going to try to upload a tabloid-styled infographic with a Rick and Morty joke about how serious this choice will affect Reddit and why you should be shitting yourself about it. You're also not going to see me commenting on a massive post about how """proud""" I am to be closing the subreddit in protest and be added to "le goodboy list". However, we have used the Reddit API in the past to run a couple of themed bots, generate download links, and provide great automation for our moderation. Our subreddit isn't nearly as busy as it used to be, but this API was crucial to our growth and development. If these changes were made three or four years ago, our subreddit wouldn't be nearly the size it is today.
Reddit is a place for self expression, and connecting with people who share the same interests as you. It's about open ended discussion for virtually anybody. Myself, our moderation team, and our tens of thousands of active subscribers all love cursed videos, for instance; and although we love to bicker and moan at each other, this opportunity has let us all share media we enjoy with so many other people. Having a service like this that is accessible to everybody for practically free has left a great impact on virtually millions of people, with thousands of newcomers everyday. There's a reason why "Create a Subreddit" is such a pronounced feature; it's something that literally anybody with an account can do.
A limitation to any service will always come as a disappointment, whether is come from inaccessibility, greed, or lack of proper staffing. It's pretty disappointing to see the team that began this experience grow to be so out of touch with their community. While we understand that expressing personal opinions or trying to create panic about these changes is not productive, it is important to acknowledge the value that the Reddit API has brought to countless communities.
On June 12th, the subreddit will be locked. You'll still be able to view old videos and comments, at least for a while, but you won't be able to submit videos or comments. We were intending on unlocking everything once again on the 14th, but with the climate of this situation continuing to grow even worse, I don't believe that would be beneficial for the situation. The subreddit will remain locked until the situation shows signs of genuine improvement, or will instead be made private if the situation grows much worse.
Ah. I rambled. I do that a lot. Anyways, that's pretty much it.
submitted by Vertex138 to cursedvideos [link] [comments]
TL;DR: On June 12th, the subreddit will be locked. The subreddit will remain locked until the situation shows signs of genuine improvement, or will instead be made private if the situation grows much worse.
I'm not about to stand on a soapbox and preach as to how you should feel about the API changes, nor am I going to try to upload a tabloid-styled infographic with a Rick and Morty joke about how serious this choice will affect Reddit and why you should be shitting yourself about it. You're also not going to see me commenting on a massive post about how """proud""" I am to be closing the subreddit in protest and be added to "le goodboy list". However, we have used the Reddit API in the past to run a couple of themed bots, generate download links, and provide great automation for our moderation. Our subreddit isn't nearly as busy as it used to be, but this API was crucial to our growth and development. If these changes were made three or four years ago, our subreddit wouldn't be nearly the size it is today.
Reddit is a place for self expression, and connecting with people who share the same interests as you. It's about open ended discussion for virtually anybody. Myself, our moderation team, and our tens of thousands of active subscribers all love cursed videos, for instance; and although we love to bicker and moan at each other, this opportunity has let us all share media we enjoy with so many other people. Having a service like this that is accessible to everybody for practically free has left a great impact on virtually millions of people, with thousands of newcomers everyday. There's a reason why "Create a Subreddit" is such a pronounced feature; it's something that literally anybody with an account can do.
A limitation to any service will always come as a disappointment, whether is come from inaccessibility, greed, or lack of proper staffing. It's pretty disappointing to see the team that began this experience grow to be so out of touch with their community. While we understand that expressing personal opinions or trying to create panic about these changes is not productive, it is important to acknowledge the value that the Reddit API has brought to countless communities.
On June 12th, the subreddit will be locked. You'll still be able to view old videos and comments, at least for a while, but you won't be able to submit videos or comments. We were intending on unlocking everything once again on the 14th, but with the climate of this situation continuing to grow even worse, I don't believe that would be beneficial for the situation. The subreddit will remain locked until the situation shows signs of genuine improvement, or will instead be made private if the situation grows much worse.
Ah. I rambled. I do that a lot. Anyways, that's pretty much it.
2023.06.10 22:01 Erutious Stragview Stories: Midnight Visitation
Jasper frowned as he read over the letter, the summons looking like no other mail he’d ever received.
On Saturday, you are summoned to attend Midnight Visitation as part of your rehabilitation. Attendance is non-negotiable, and refusal will result in forced attendance followed by time spent in solitary. Be ready by no later than eleven. The Warden
“Whoa, that's pretty cool,” said Gavin, reading over his shoulder, “Who do you know that would come all the way down here at midnight to see you?”
Jasper didn’t know, and he told him as much. He was in here for killing the last person who had given a crap about him, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would make the trip in the daytime, let alone at night. His parents had disowned him after he’d killed her, and most of his family refused to have anything to do with him. Some of his cousins would still accept his letters, but few of them would bother to write back. Jasper was perplexed by the invitation, but, by the sound of it, it wasn’t much of an invitation anyway. Attendance seemed to be mandatory, and he was pretty sure most of the guards on the compound would enjoy dragging him there in chains.
The letter had come with their mail, and it was one of the few times the guard had called his name. The last year and a half had been difficult for Jasper, but he was getting used to making it on his own. He’d done it all his life, hadn’t he? His mom and dad had been too busy with their own thing to care about their middle child. Barbara was the smart one, Reggy was the athletic people person, and Jasper…well, Jasper was the screw up. His grades had never been too good, his achievements few and far between, and when Grace had come into the picture, his parents figured it was the best Jasper could do.
Jasper had agreed with them. Grace had been his everything from the moment she agreed to go steady with him. Grace was motivated, a natural saleswoman who had strived for something more than middle management. She had a successful business by the time she graduated college, and Jasper was happy to stay at home and keep the house. Jasper provided her with stability, someone to come home to who lacked the means to do any better, but he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.
That's why she had left him, and that's why he had killed her.
He couldn’t stand to be apart from her, couldn’t stand for her to be with someone else, and now he was stuck in Stragview for his lapse in judgment.
That's what made the note so cryptic, and the longer he thought about it, the shorter the list of people who would come all the way out here at night became.
He did a little more than wait, he supposed. Jasper had asked around about this Midnight Visitation, but no one seemed to know much about it. The younger guys all shook their heads, and the older guys clammed up when he asked them. It was like a magic spell had been cast over the whole thing, and when you asked some of these guys, it seemed to sap the life out of them before your eyes. Garth, one of the more gregarious murderers on Jasper’s block, had looked downright scared when he’d asked him about the visitation.
“I can’t say nothin,” Garth had said, “and neither will you once you go. It’s a secret that you keep after that. It’s something that changes you, or you keep going back till it does.”
“What changes you?” Jasper had asked, but Garth wouldn’t say anymore.
“Get away from me. Get away, before he thinks I told you.”
He’d left in a hurry then, their chess game only four moves in, and Jasper found he had more questions than before.
He supposed that all would be answered on Saturday, and as the days passed, he found himself a little excited by the whole idea of the thing.
When Saturday night finally arrived, Officer Gauge found him on his bunk, his best uniform still looking ragged, as he waited for whatever might come. Gauge held out a pair of cuffs, telling Jasper that he’d have to cuff him before they left. Jasper nodded, putting his hands behind his back, but Gauge told him that in the front would be fine. Jasper shrugged, it was his show, and let him cuff him in the front. Some of the guys who were still awake made suggestive noises as he left, some of them telling him to enjoy his “night visit”, but a lot of the older guys were noticeably quiet.
Gauge led him to the visitation area, the little spot behind the staff check-in area, and when Jasper shook his cuffs at him, Gauge told him to sit down and put his hands on the eye hook on the table. There were a few guys in here, some of them Jasper knew, but most he didn't, and they all seemed to be cuffed to the protruding hook in the center of the table. Jasper started to buck, but realized it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever this was, they would have him one way or another. He set his hands down on the table, and Gauge pulled a lock out of his pocket. He secured Jasper to the spot before leaving in an all fired hurry.
Whatever was about to happen, Gauge clearly didn’t want any part of it.
Jasper glanced around the room, taking in the men who sat around him. There were about twelve in all, all of them shackled to the table, and they were all spaced so that at least three chairs separated them from another inmate. Most of them looked confused or unsure, but a couple of them looked like they knew what was coming; knew and weren’t looking forward to it. One of them, a big bald bruiser named Dennis, had his head against the table as he cried nakedly between his elbows. Another who Jasper didn’t know was praying in fast spanish. A third, Jasper thought his name might be Conroy, was thrashing around as he pulled at his bonds. His eyes were roving around like a scared horse, and he kept pulling at his cuffs until he heard a lock click near the back of the room.
Then he went still and Jasper thought he saw him listening for something.
A pair of double metal doors at the back of the room burst open then, and Jasper saw a small group walk in unattended by guards. Two of them were children, a pair of twins who looked ghostly under the dim fluorescents. One was a dark haired woman who sat down in front of the man as he prayed. The last was a tall, homely woman who took the seat across from a younger inmate that Jasper couldn’t put a name to. The young man stiffened as she sat down, and the pair was close enough that Jasper could suddenly see that the problem wasn’t the womans face, but rather what was on it. She had a crop of mold growing from ear to ear and as it wove around her eyes, it made her look like she was wearing glasses.
“Hello, Emanuel.” she said, her voice thick but not unhappy to see him, “I see prison had suited you.”
“What the fuck is this?” the inmate said, trying to back away and failing as the chains caught him, “you ain’t real. You look like my ma, but you ain’t my ma.”
“Of course I am, Em. How else would I know about how you drowned me in the bathtub? How else would I know what you did to me before you buried me in the basement? How else would I know how much you cried before you turned yourself in? You felt me watching you from the corner of your room, and it ate at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The same way,” She leaned in slyly as she grinned, “that you ate at me after I was gone.”
The inmates started making a sound like someone choking on air. He kept pulling away from the woman, but the chains brought him up yet again. Jasper looked away, but he could see similar scenes of horror unfolding around him as more people joined them. The twins sat down in front of the sobbing man, but he wouldn’t lift his head. He wouldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them, but the longer Jasper looked, the more he could see the bruises around the necks. The deep purple marks looked like individual fingers, and they seemed incable speaking through their bruised throats. They sat menacingly across from him, and every peek he gave them was followed by a hopeless cry of terror.
Others came, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, wives, and everything in between. The inmates' reactions were as varied as the specters. One man could only repeat the phrase “I’m sorry” as a half naked boy of seventeen sat silently across from him. The mother and son he had seen first were now sitting with her hands on his as he rocked and shook his head in negation. What could only be an older man's parents asked if he were proud of what he’d done to them, but he only sat silently and stared right through them.
Jasper wondered when it would be his turn, but he didn’t have long to ponder.
“Sorry I’m late, dear. The commute was dreadful.”
His breath came out as little more than a puff of smoke, and when he turned to look at her, Jasper could tell that it was Grace only by the necklace that she wore. He’d given her that necklace for their third anniversary, and he supposed her parents had left it on her when they buried her. Her face, a face he had loved so much, was gone. She looked like a burn victim, like a used up match stick, and the eyes that looked back at him glowed from empty sockets. Jasper wanted to scream, wanted to pull away as her red and oozing hand came out to touch his, but he couldn’t muster the strength.
She was burnt, her beauty stolen in death, and that too was his fault.
After he’d blind sided her, begging for another chance, she had told him to get lost. She said she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give her children, and suggested that he go back to his moms house before her new boyfriend found them together. At the mention of a new boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck as she turned away and slammed her head against the wall of the stairwell outside her apartment. He had kept right on doing this until she stopped struggling, and even then he did it a few more times. He only stopped when her head began to dribble something besides blood and he realized he had broken her skull. He was scared then, afraid that he would get caught, and when he put her in his car, he wasn’t sure what he intended to do with her.
The police had caught him in his parents backyard, one of her neighbors having seen the whole thing, but by then, Grace had been a charcoal briquette.
He’d heard the funeral had been closed casket, but apparently they hadn’t closed it tight enough.
“Whats wrong dear? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t live without me? I believe it was a little bit before you smashed my head against the wall. I assumed that, since you’d taken all that time to burn me, that you wanted me to look this way. Well, have a good look, Jasper. See what you’ve done to your Grace!”
Every word she spoke sent flakes of her tongue and lips onto the table, onto his hands, and onto Jasper’s face. She was leaning in closer, bringing her horrible visage closer to him, and Jasper felt his sanity beginning to whimper. As she brought the remains of her blackened lips together, he added his scream to the others. As they pressed against his flesh, he let his eyes roll up to the whites. He tried to stay conscious, but the sheer horror of the situation was eroding his mind. This couldn’t be. Things like this weren’t real. Grace was dead, she couldn’t come back to torment him.
As he regained consciousness, he found that he was still chained to the table and the terrible Grace was still sitting across from him.
“You seem to have gotten a little sleepy, my love. That's okay. The Warden was nice enough to extend invitation for the whole night, and I was more than happy to come and see my best fella.”
Jasper screamed, screamed until his throat broke, and when Gauge opened the door at five o’clock, all those present were as silent as the grave.
Gauge led them away like a flock of lambs, easily correcting them when they tried to stumble out of line. He had been doing this for a while, two or three years at least, and he had learned not to question what went on behind that door. He heard begging, screaming, the mad laughter of the deranged, and at the end of the month, he found an extra five hundred dollars added to his check for every Midnight Visitation he conducted.
His smile curdled when he remembered what the Warden had said to him when he gave him the position.
“I know you’re struggling to feed your appetites, and its only a matter of time before you end up inside these walls for doing something foolish. Why not let me help you feed those urges, and in exchange, I won't tell anyone what sort of debauchery you get up to in your spare time.”
The Warden was a weird one, but Gauge had to admit that he always kept his promises.
Gauge wondered what he put these poor saps through, but quickly put it out of his mind.
The Wardens games were none of his concern, and how he chose to discipline his inmates was his business.
submitted by Erutious to stayawake [link] [comments]
On Saturday, you are summoned to attend Midnight Visitation as part of your rehabilitation. Attendance is non-negotiable, and refusal will result in forced attendance followed by time spent in solitary. Be ready by no later than eleven. The Warden
“Whoa, that's pretty cool,” said Gavin, reading over his shoulder, “Who do you know that would come all the way down here at midnight to see you?”
Jasper didn’t know, and he told him as much. He was in here for killing the last person who had given a crap about him, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would make the trip in the daytime, let alone at night. His parents had disowned him after he’d killed her, and most of his family refused to have anything to do with him. Some of his cousins would still accept his letters, but few of them would bother to write back. Jasper was perplexed by the invitation, but, by the sound of it, it wasn’t much of an invitation anyway. Attendance seemed to be mandatory, and he was pretty sure most of the guards on the compound would enjoy dragging him there in chains.
The letter had come with their mail, and it was one of the few times the guard had called his name. The last year and a half had been difficult for Jasper, but he was getting used to making it on his own. He’d done it all his life, hadn’t he? His mom and dad had been too busy with their own thing to care about their middle child. Barbara was the smart one, Reggy was the athletic people person, and Jasper…well, Jasper was the screw up. His grades had never been too good, his achievements few and far between, and when Grace had come into the picture, his parents figured it was the best Jasper could do.
Jasper had agreed with them. Grace had been his everything from the moment she agreed to go steady with him. Grace was motivated, a natural saleswoman who had strived for something more than middle management. She had a successful business by the time she graduated college, and Jasper was happy to stay at home and keep the house. Jasper provided her with stability, someone to come home to who lacked the means to do any better, but he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.
That's why she had left him, and that's why he had killed her.
He couldn’t stand to be apart from her, couldn’t stand for her to be with someone else, and now he was stuck in Stragview for his lapse in judgment.
That's what made the note so cryptic, and the longer he thought about it, the shorter the list of people who would come all the way out here at night became.
He did a little more than wait, he supposed. Jasper had asked around about this Midnight Visitation, but no one seemed to know much about it. The younger guys all shook their heads, and the older guys clammed up when he asked them. It was like a magic spell had been cast over the whole thing, and when you asked some of these guys, it seemed to sap the life out of them before your eyes. Garth, one of the more gregarious murderers on Jasper’s block, had looked downright scared when he’d asked him about the visitation.
“I can’t say nothin,” Garth had said, “and neither will you once you go. It’s a secret that you keep after that. It’s something that changes you, or you keep going back till it does.”
“What changes you?” Jasper had asked, but Garth wouldn’t say anymore.
“Get away from me. Get away, before he thinks I told you.”
He’d left in a hurry then, their chess game only four moves in, and Jasper found he had more questions than before.
He supposed that all would be answered on Saturday, and as the days passed, he found himself a little excited by the whole idea of the thing.
When Saturday night finally arrived, Officer Gauge found him on his bunk, his best uniform still looking ragged, as he waited for whatever might come. Gauge held out a pair of cuffs, telling Jasper that he’d have to cuff him before they left. Jasper nodded, putting his hands behind his back, but Gauge told him that in the front would be fine. Jasper shrugged, it was his show, and let him cuff him in the front. Some of the guys who were still awake made suggestive noises as he left, some of them telling him to enjoy his “night visit”, but a lot of the older guys were noticeably quiet.
Gauge led him to the visitation area, the little spot behind the staff check-in area, and when Jasper shook his cuffs at him, Gauge told him to sit down and put his hands on the eye hook on the table. There were a few guys in here, some of them Jasper knew, but most he didn't, and they all seemed to be cuffed to the protruding hook in the center of the table. Jasper started to buck, but realized it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever this was, they would have him one way or another. He set his hands down on the table, and Gauge pulled a lock out of his pocket. He secured Jasper to the spot before leaving in an all fired hurry.
Whatever was about to happen, Gauge clearly didn’t want any part of it.
Jasper glanced around the room, taking in the men who sat around him. There were about twelve in all, all of them shackled to the table, and they were all spaced so that at least three chairs separated them from another inmate. Most of them looked confused or unsure, but a couple of them looked like they knew what was coming; knew and weren’t looking forward to it. One of them, a big bald bruiser named Dennis, had his head against the table as he cried nakedly between his elbows. Another who Jasper didn’t know was praying in fast spanish. A third, Jasper thought his name might be Conroy, was thrashing around as he pulled at his bonds. His eyes were roving around like a scared horse, and he kept pulling at his cuffs until he heard a lock click near the back of the room.
Then he went still and Jasper thought he saw him listening for something.
A pair of double metal doors at the back of the room burst open then, and Jasper saw a small group walk in unattended by guards. Two of them were children, a pair of twins who looked ghostly under the dim fluorescents. One was a dark haired woman who sat down in front of the man as he prayed. The last was a tall, homely woman who took the seat across from a younger inmate that Jasper couldn’t put a name to. The young man stiffened as she sat down, and the pair was close enough that Jasper could suddenly see that the problem wasn’t the womans face, but rather what was on it. She had a crop of mold growing from ear to ear and as it wove around her eyes, it made her look like she was wearing glasses.
“Hello, Emanuel.” she said, her voice thick but not unhappy to see him, “I see prison had suited you.”
“What the fuck is this?” the inmate said, trying to back away and failing as the chains caught him, “you ain’t real. You look like my ma, but you ain’t my ma.”
“Of course I am, Em. How else would I know about how you drowned me in the bathtub? How else would I know what you did to me before you buried me in the basement? How else would I know how much you cried before you turned yourself in? You felt me watching you from the corner of your room, and it ate at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The same way,” She leaned in slyly as she grinned, “that you ate at me after I was gone.”
The inmates started making a sound like someone choking on air. He kept pulling away from the woman, but the chains brought him up yet again. Jasper looked away, but he could see similar scenes of horror unfolding around him as more people joined them. The twins sat down in front of the sobbing man, but he wouldn’t lift his head. He wouldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them, but the longer Jasper looked, the more he could see the bruises around the necks. The deep purple marks looked like individual fingers, and they seemed incable speaking through their bruised throats. They sat menacingly across from him, and every peek he gave them was followed by a hopeless cry of terror.
Others came, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, wives, and everything in between. The inmates' reactions were as varied as the specters. One man could only repeat the phrase “I’m sorry” as a half naked boy of seventeen sat silently across from him. The mother and son he had seen first were now sitting with her hands on his as he rocked and shook his head in negation. What could only be an older man's parents asked if he were proud of what he’d done to them, but he only sat silently and stared right through them.
Jasper wondered when it would be his turn, but he didn’t have long to ponder.
“Sorry I’m late, dear. The commute was dreadful.”
His breath came out as little more than a puff of smoke, and when he turned to look at her, Jasper could tell that it was Grace only by the necklace that she wore. He’d given her that necklace for their third anniversary, and he supposed her parents had left it on her when they buried her. Her face, a face he had loved so much, was gone. She looked like a burn victim, like a used up match stick, and the eyes that looked back at him glowed from empty sockets. Jasper wanted to scream, wanted to pull away as her red and oozing hand came out to touch his, but he couldn’t muster the strength.
She was burnt, her beauty stolen in death, and that too was his fault.
After he’d blind sided her, begging for another chance, she had told him to get lost. She said she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give her children, and suggested that he go back to his moms house before her new boyfriend found them together. At the mention of a new boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck as she turned away and slammed her head against the wall of the stairwell outside her apartment. He had kept right on doing this until she stopped struggling, and even then he did it a few more times. He only stopped when her head began to dribble something besides blood and he realized he had broken her skull. He was scared then, afraid that he would get caught, and when he put her in his car, he wasn’t sure what he intended to do with her.
The police had caught him in his parents backyard, one of her neighbors having seen the whole thing, but by then, Grace had been a charcoal briquette.
He’d heard the funeral had been closed casket, but apparently they hadn’t closed it tight enough.
“Whats wrong dear? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t live without me? I believe it was a little bit before you smashed my head against the wall. I assumed that, since you’d taken all that time to burn me, that you wanted me to look this way. Well, have a good look, Jasper. See what you’ve done to your Grace!”
Every word she spoke sent flakes of her tongue and lips onto the table, onto his hands, and onto Jasper’s face. She was leaning in closer, bringing her horrible visage closer to him, and Jasper felt his sanity beginning to whimper. As she brought the remains of her blackened lips together, he added his scream to the others. As they pressed against his flesh, he let his eyes roll up to the whites. He tried to stay conscious, but the sheer horror of the situation was eroding his mind. This couldn’t be. Things like this weren’t real. Grace was dead, she couldn’t come back to torment him.
As he regained consciousness, he found that he was still chained to the table and the terrible Grace was still sitting across from him.
“You seem to have gotten a little sleepy, my love. That's okay. The Warden was nice enough to extend invitation for the whole night, and I was more than happy to come and see my best fella.”
Jasper screamed, screamed until his throat broke, and when Gauge opened the door at five o’clock, all those present were as silent as the grave.
Gauge led them away like a flock of lambs, easily correcting them when they tried to stumble out of line. He had been doing this for a while, two or three years at least, and he had learned not to question what went on behind that door. He heard begging, screaming, the mad laughter of the deranged, and at the end of the month, he found an extra five hundred dollars added to his check for every Midnight Visitation he conducted.
His smile curdled when he remembered what the Warden had said to him when he gave him the position.
“I know you’re struggling to feed your appetites, and its only a matter of time before you end up inside these walls for doing something foolish. Why not let me help you feed those urges, and in exchange, I won't tell anyone what sort of debauchery you get up to in your spare time.”
The Warden was a weird one, but Gauge had to admit that he always kept his promises.
Gauge wondered what he put these poor saps through, but quickly put it out of his mind.
The Wardens games were none of his concern, and how he chose to discipline his inmates was his business.
2023.06.10 22:00 Erutious Stragview Stories: Midnight Visitation
Jasper frowned as he read over the letter, the summons looking like no other mail he’d ever received.
On Saturday, you are summoned to attend Midnight Visitation as part of your rehabilitation. Attendance is non-negotiable, and refusal will result in forced attendance followed by time spent in solitary. Be ready by no later than eleven. The Warden
“Whoa, that's pretty cool,” said Gavin, reading over his shoulder, “Who do you know that would come all the way down here at midnight to see you?”
Jasper didn’t know, and he told him as much. He was in here for killing the last person who had given a crap about him, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would make the trip in the daytime, let alone at night. His parents had disowned him after he’d killed her, and most of his family refused to have anything to do with him. Some of his cousins would still accept his letters, but few of them would bother to write back. Jasper was perplexed by the invitation, but, by the sound of it, it wasn’t much of an invitation anyway. Attendance seemed to be mandatory, and he was pretty sure most of the guards on the compound would enjoy dragging him there in chains.
The letter had come with their mail, and it was one of the few times the guard had called his name. The last year and a half had been difficult for Jasper, but he was getting used to making it on his own. He’d done it all his life, hadn’t he? His mom and dad had been too busy with their own thing to care about their middle child. Barbara was the smart one, Reggy was the athletic people person, and Jasper…well, Jasper was the screw up. His grades had never been too good, his achievements few and far between, and when Grace had come into the picture, his parents figured it was the best Jasper could do.
Jasper had agreed with them. Grace had been his everything from the moment she agreed to go steady with him. Grace was motivated, a natural saleswoman who had strived for something more than middle management. She had a successful business by the time she graduated college, and Jasper was happy to stay at home and keep the house. Jasper provided her with stability, someone to come home to who lacked the means to do any better, but he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.
That's why she had left him, and that's why he had killed her.
He couldn’t stand to be apart from her, couldn’t stand for her to be with someone else, and now he was stuck in Stragview for his lapse in judgment.
That's what made the note so cryptic, and the longer he thought about it, the shorter the list of people who would come all the way out here at night became.
He did a little more than wait, he supposed. Jasper had asked around about this Midnight Visitation, but no one seemed to know much about it. The younger guys all shook their heads, and the older guys clammed up when he asked them. It was like a magic spell had been cast over the whole thing, and when you asked some of these guys, it seemed to sap the life out of them before your eyes. Garth, one of the more gregarious murderers on Jasper’s block, had looked downright scared when he’d asked him about the visitation.
“I can’t say nothin,” Garth had said, “and neither will you once you go. It’s a secret that you keep after that. It’s something that changes you, or you keep going back till it does.”
“What changes you?” Jasper had asked, but Garth wouldn’t say anymore.
“Get away from me. Get away, before he thinks I told you.”
He’d left in a hurry then, their chess game only four moves in, and Jasper found he had more questions than before.
He supposed that all would be answered on Saturday, and as the days passed, he found himself a little excited by the whole idea of the thing.
When Saturday night finally arrived, Officer Gauge found him on his bunk, his best uniform still looking ragged, as he waited for whatever might come. Gauge held out a pair of cuffs, telling Jasper that he’d have to cuff him before they left. Jasper nodded, putting his hands behind his back, but Gauge told him that in the front would be fine. Jasper shrugged, it was his show, and let him cuff him in the front. Some of the guys who were still awake made suggestive noises as he left, some of them telling him to enjoy his “night visit”, but a lot of the older guys were noticeably quiet.
Gauge led him to the visitation area, the little spot behind the staff check-in area, and when Jasper shook his cuffs at him, Gauge told him to sit down and put his hands on the eye hook on the table. There were a few guys in here, some of them Jasper knew, but most he didn't, and they all seemed to be cuffed to the protruding hook in the center of the table. Jasper started to buck, but realized it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever this was, they would have him one way or another. He set his hands down on the table, and Gauge pulled a lock out of his pocket. He secured Jasper to the spot before leaving in an all fired hurry.
Whatever was about to happen, Gauge clearly didn’t want any part of it.
Jasper glanced around the room, taking in the men who sat around him. There were about twelve in all, all of them shackled to the table, and they were all spaced so that at least three chairs separated them from another inmate. Most of them looked confused or unsure, but a couple of them looked like they knew what was coming; knew and weren’t looking forward to it. One of them, a big bald bruiser named Dennis, had his head against the table as he cried nakedly between his elbows. Another who Jasper didn’t know was praying in fast spanish. A third, Jasper thought his name might be Conroy, was thrashing around as he pulled at his bonds. His eyes were roving around like a scared horse, and he kept pulling at his cuffs until he heard a lock click near the back of the room.
Then he went still and Jasper thought he saw him listening for something.
A pair of double metal doors at the back of the room burst open then, and Jasper saw a small group walk in unattended by guards. Two of them were children, a pair of twins who looked ghostly under the dim fluorescents. One was a dark haired woman who sat down in front of the man as he prayed. The last was a tall, homely woman who took the seat across from a younger inmate that Jasper couldn’t put a name to. The young man stiffened as she sat down, and the pair was close enough that Jasper could suddenly see that the problem wasn’t the womans face, but rather what was on it. She had a crop of mold growing from ear to ear and as it wove around her eyes, it made her look like she was wearing glasses.
“Hello, Emanuel.” she said, her voice thick but not unhappy to see him, “I see prison had suited you.”
“What the fuck is this?” the inmate said, trying to back away and failing as the chains caught him, “you ain’t real. You look like my ma, but you ain’t my ma.”
“Of course I am, Em. How else would I know about how you drowned me in the bathtub? How else would I know what you did to me before you buried me in the basement? How else would I know how much you cried before you turned yourself in? You felt me watching you from the corner of your room, and it ate at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The same way,” She leaned in slyly as she grinned, “that you ate at me after I was gone.”
The inmates started making a sound like someone choking on air. He kept pulling away from the woman, but the chains brought him up yet again. Jasper looked away, but he could see similar scenes of horror unfolding around him as more people joined them. The twins sat down in front of the sobbing man, but he wouldn’t lift his head. He wouldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them, but the longer Jasper looked, the more he could see the bruises around the necks. The deep purple marks looked like individual fingers, and they seemed incable speaking through their bruised throats. They sat menacingly across from him, and every peek he gave them was followed by a hopeless cry of terror.
Others came, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, wives, and everything in between. The inmates' reactions were as varied as the specters. One man could only repeat the phrase “I’m sorry” as a half naked boy of seventeen sat silently across from him. The mother and son he had seen first were now sitting with her hands on his as he rocked and shook his head in negation. What could only be an older man's parents asked if he were proud of what he’d done to them, but he only sat silently and stared right through them.
Jasper wondered when it would be his turn, but he didn’t have long to ponder.
“Sorry I’m late, dear. The commute was dreadful.”
His breath came out as little more than a puff of smoke, and when he turned to look at her, Jasper could tell that it was Grace only by the necklace that she wore. He’d given her that necklace for their third anniversary, and he supposed her parents had left it on her when they buried her. Her face, a face he had loved so much, was gone. She looked like a burn victim, like a used up match stick, and the eyes that looked back at him glowed from empty sockets. Jasper wanted to scream, wanted to pull away as her red and oozing hand came out to touch his, but he couldn’t muster the strength.
She was burnt, her beauty stolen in death, and that too was his fault.
After he’d blind sided her, begging for another chance, she had told him to get lost. She said she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give her children, and suggested that he go back to his moms house before her new boyfriend found them together. At the mention of a new boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck as she turned away and slammed her head against the wall of the stairwell outside her apartment. He had kept right on doing this until she stopped struggling, and even then he did it a few more times. He only stopped when her head began to dribble something besides blood and he realized he had broken her skull. He was scared then, afraid that he would get caught, and when he put her in his car, he wasn’t sure what he intended to do with her.
The police had caught him in his parents backyard, one of her neighbors having seen the whole thing, but by then, Grace had been a charcoal briquette.
He’d heard the funeral had been closed casket, but apparently they hadn’t closed it tight enough.
“Whats wrong dear? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t live without me? I believe it was a little bit before you smashed my head against the wall. I assumed that, since you’d taken all that time to burn me, that you wanted me to look this way. Well, have a good look, Jasper. See what you’ve done to your Grace!”
Every word she spoke sent flakes of her tongue and lips onto the table, onto his hands, and onto Jasper’s face. She was leaning in closer, bringing her horrible visage closer to him, and Jasper felt his sanity beginning to whimper. As she brought the remains of her blackened lips together, he added his scream to the others. As they pressed against his flesh, he let his eyes roll up to the whites. He tried to stay conscious, but the sheer horror of the situation was eroding his mind. This couldn’t be. Things like this weren’t real. Grace was dead, she couldn’t come back to torment him.
As he regained consciousness, he found that he was still chained to the table and the terrible Grace was still sitting across from him.
“You seem to have gotten a little sleepy, my love. That's okay. The Warden was nice enough to extend invitation for the whole night, and I was more than happy to come and see my best fella.”
Jasper screamed, screamed until his throat broke, and when Gauge opened the door at five o’clock, all those present were as silent as the grave.
Gauge led them away like a flock of lambs, easily correcting them when they tried to stumble out of line. He had been doing this for a while, two or three years at least, and he had learned not to question what went on behind that door. He heard begging, screaming, the mad laughter of the deranged, and at the end of the month, he found an extra five hundred dollars added to his check for every Midnight Visitation he conducted.
His smile curdled when he remembered what the Warden had said to him when he gave him the position.
“I know you’re struggling to feed your appetites, and its only a matter of time before you end up inside these walls for doing something foolish. Why not let me help you feed those urges, and in exchange, I won't tell anyone what sort of debauchery you get up to in your spare time.”
The Warden was a weird one, but Gauge had to admit that he always kept his promises.
Gauge wondered what he put these poor saps through, but quickly put it out of his mind.
The Wardens games were none of his concern, and how he chose to discipline his inmates was his business.
submitted by Erutious to spooky_stories [link] [comments]
On Saturday, you are summoned to attend Midnight Visitation as part of your rehabilitation. Attendance is non-negotiable, and refusal will result in forced attendance followed by time spent in solitary. Be ready by no later than eleven. The Warden
“Whoa, that's pretty cool,” said Gavin, reading over his shoulder, “Who do you know that would come all the way down here at midnight to see you?”
Jasper didn’t know, and he told him as much. He was in here for killing the last person who had given a crap about him, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would make the trip in the daytime, let alone at night. His parents had disowned him after he’d killed her, and most of his family refused to have anything to do with him. Some of his cousins would still accept his letters, but few of them would bother to write back. Jasper was perplexed by the invitation, but, by the sound of it, it wasn’t much of an invitation anyway. Attendance seemed to be mandatory, and he was pretty sure most of the guards on the compound would enjoy dragging him there in chains.
The letter had come with their mail, and it was one of the few times the guard had called his name. The last year and a half had been difficult for Jasper, but he was getting used to making it on his own. He’d done it all his life, hadn’t he? His mom and dad had been too busy with their own thing to care about their middle child. Barbara was the smart one, Reggy was the athletic people person, and Jasper…well, Jasper was the screw up. His grades had never been too good, his achievements few and far between, and when Grace had come into the picture, his parents figured it was the best Jasper could do.
Jasper had agreed with them. Grace had been his everything from the moment she agreed to go steady with him. Grace was motivated, a natural saleswoman who had strived for something more than middle management. She had a successful business by the time she graduated college, and Jasper was happy to stay at home and keep the house. Jasper provided her with stability, someone to come home to who lacked the means to do any better, but he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.
That's why she had left him, and that's why he had killed her.
He couldn’t stand to be apart from her, couldn’t stand for her to be with someone else, and now he was stuck in Stragview for his lapse in judgment.
That's what made the note so cryptic, and the longer he thought about it, the shorter the list of people who would come all the way out here at night became.
He did a little more than wait, he supposed. Jasper had asked around about this Midnight Visitation, but no one seemed to know much about it. The younger guys all shook their heads, and the older guys clammed up when he asked them. It was like a magic spell had been cast over the whole thing, and when you asked some of these guys, it seemed to sap the life out of them before your eyes. Garth, one of the more gregarious murderers on Jasper’s block, had looked downright scared when he’d asked him about the visitation.
“I can’t say nothin,” Garth had said, “and neither will you once you go. It’s a secret that you keep after that. It’s something that changes you, or you keep going back till it does.”
“What changes you?” Jasper had asked, but Garth wouldn’t say anymore.
“Get away from me. Get away, before he thinks I told you.”
He’d left in a hurry then, their chess game only four moves in, and Jasper found he had more questions than before.
He supposed that all would be answered on Saturday, and as the days passed, he found himself a little excited by the whole idea of the thing.
When Saturday night finally arrived, Officer Gauge found him on his bunk, his best uniform still looking ragged, as he waited for whatever might come. Gauge held out a pair of cuffs, telling Jasper that he’d have to cuff him before they left. Jasper nodded, putting his hands behind his back, but Gauge told him that in the front would be fine. Jasper shrugged, it was his show, and let him cuff him in the front. Some of the guys who were still awake made suggestive noises as he left, some of them telling him to enjoy his “night visit”, but a lot of the older guys were noticeably quiet.
Gauge led him to the visitation area, the little spot behind the staff check-in area, and when Jasper shook his cuffs at him, Gauge told him to sit down and put his hands on the eye hook on the table. There were a few guys in here, some of them Jasper knew, but most he didn't, and they all seemed to be cuffed to the protruding hook in the center of the table. Jasper started to buck, but realized it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever this was, they would have him one way or another. He set his hands down on the table, and Gauge pulled a lock out of his pocket. He secured Jasper to the spot before leaving in an all fired hurry.
Whatever was about to happen, Gauge clearly didn’t want any part of it.
Jasper glanced around the room, taking in the men who sat around him. There were about twelve in all, all of them shackled to the table, and they were all spaced so that at least three chairs separated them from another inmate. Most of them looked confused or unsure, but a couple of them looked like they knew what was coming; knew and weren’t looking forward to it. One of them, a big bald bruiser named Dennis, had his head against the table as he cried nakedly between his elbows. Another who Jasper didn’t know was praying in fast spanish. A third, Jasper thought his name might be Conroy, was thrashing around as he pulled at his bonds. His eyes were roving around like a scared horse, and he kept pulling at his cuffs until he heard a lock click near the back of the room.
Then he went still and Jasper thought he saw him listening for something.
A pair of double metal doors at the back of the room burst open then, and Jasper saw a small group walk in unattended by guards. Two of them were children, a pair of twins who looked ghostly under the dim fluorescents. One was a dark haired woman who sat down in front of the man as he prayed. The last was a tall, homely woman who took the seat across from a younger inmate that Jasper couldn’t put a name to. The young man stiffened as she sat down, and the pair was close enough that Jasper could suddenly see that the problem wasn’t the womans face, but rather what was on it. She had a crop of mold growing from ear to ear and as it wove around her eyes, it made her look like she was wearing glasses.
“Hello, Emanuel.” she said, her voice thick but not unhappy to see him, “I see prison had suited you.”
“What the fuck is this?” the inmate said, trying to back away and failing as the chains caught him, “you ain’t real. You look like my ma, but you ain’t my ma.”
“Of course I am, Em. How else would I know about how you drowned me in the bathtub? How else would I know what you did to me before you buried me in the basement? How else would I know how much you cried before you turned yourself in? You felt me watching you from the corner of your room, and it ate at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The same way,” She leaned in slyly as she grinned, “that you ate at me after I was gone.”
The inmates started making a sound like someone choking on air. He kept pulling away from the woman, but the chains brought him up yet again. Jasper looked away, but he could see similar scenes of horror unfolding around him as more people joined them. The twins sat down in front of the sobbing man, but he wouldn’t lift his head. He wouldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them, but the longer Jasper looked, the more he could see the bruises around the necks. The deep purple marks looked like individual fingers, and they seemed incable speaking through their bruised throats. They sat menacingly across from him, and every peek he gave them was followed by a hopeless cry of terror.
Others came, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, wives, and everything in between. The inmates' reactions were as varied as the specters. One man could only repeat the phrase “I’m sorry” as a half naked boy of seventeen sat silently across from him. The mother and son he had seen first were now sitting with her hands on his as he rocked and shook his head in negation. What could only be an older man's parents asked if he were proud of what he’d done to them, but he only sat silently and stared right through them.
Jasper wondered when it would be his turn, but he didn’t have long to ponder.
“Sorry I’m late, dear. The commute was dreadful.”
His breath came out as little more than a puff of smoke, and when he turned to look at her, Jasper could tell that it was Grace only by the necklace that she wore. He’d given her that necklace for their third anniversary, and he supposed her parents had left it on her when they buried her. Her face, a face he had loved so much, was gone. She looked like a burn victim, like a used up match stick, and the eyes that looked back at him glowed from empty sockets. Jasper wanted to scream, wanted to pull away as her red and oozing hand came out to touch his, but he couldn’t muster the strength.
She was burnt, her beauty stolen in death, and that too was his fault.
After he’d blind sided her, begging for another chance, she had told him to get lost. She said she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give her children, and suggested that he go back to his moms house before her new boyfriend found them together. At the mention of a new boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck as she turned away and slammed her head against the wall of the stairwell outside her apartment. He had kept right on doing this until she stopped struggling, and even then he did it a few more times. He only stopped when her head began to dribble something besides blood and he realized he had broken her skull. He was scared then, afraid that he would get caught, and when he put her in his car, he wasn’t sure what he intended to do with her.
The police had caught him in his parents backyard, one of her neighbors having seen the whole thing, but by then, Grace had been a charcoal briquette.
He’d heard the funeral had been closed casket, but apparently they hadn’t closed it tight enough.
“Whats wrong dear? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t live without me? I believe it was a little bit before you smashed my head against the wall. I assumed that, since you’d taken all that time to burn me, that you wanted me to look this way. Well, have a good look, Jasper. See what you’ve done to your Grace!”
Every word she spoke sent flakes of her tongue and lips onto the table, onto his hands, and onto Jasper’s face. She was leaning in closer, bringing her horrible visage closer to him, and Jasper felt his sanity beginning to whimper. As she brought the remains of her blackened lips together, he added his scream to the others. As they pressed against his flesh, he let his eyes roll up to the whites. He tried to stay conscious, but the sheer horror of the situation was eroding his mind. This couldn’t be. Things like this weren’t real. Grace was dead, she couldn’t come back to torment him.
As he regained consciousness, he found that he was still chained to the table and the terrible Grace was still sitting across from him.
“You seem to have gotten a little sleepy, my love. That's okay. The Warden was nice enough to extend invitation for the whole night, and I was more than happy to come and see my best fella.”
Jasper screamed, screamed until his throat broke, and when Gauge opened the door at five o’clock, all those present were as silent as the grave.
Gauge led them away like a flock of lambs, easily correcting them when they tried to stumble out of line. He had been doing this for a while, two or three years at least, and he had learned not to question what went on behind that door. He heard begging, screaming, the mad laughter of the deranged, and at the end of the month, he found an extra five hundred dollars added to his check for every Midnight Visitation he conducted.
His smile curdled when he remembered what the Warden had said to him when he gave him the position.
“I know you’re struggling to feed your appetites, and its only a matter of time before you end up inside these walls for doing something foolish. Why not let me help you feed those urges, and in exchange, I won't tell anyone what sort of debauchery you get up to in your spare time.”
The Warden was a weird one, but Gauge had to admit that he always kept his promises.
Gauge wondered what he put these poor saps through, but quickly put it out of his mind.
The Wardens games were none of his concern, and how he chose to discipline his inmates was his business.
2023.06.10 21:55 Erutious Stragview Stories: Midnight Visitation
Jasper frowned as he read over the letter, the summons looking like no other mail he’d ever received.
On Saturday, you are summoned to attend Midnight Visitation as part of your rehabilitation. Attendance is non-negotiable, and refusal will result in forced attendance followed by time spent in solitary. Be ready by no later than eleven. The Warden
“Whoa, that's pretty cool,” said Gavin, reading over his shoulder, “Who do you know that would come all the way down here at midnight to see you?”
Jasper didn’t know, and he told him as much. He was in here for killing the last person who had given a crap about him, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would make the trip in the daytime, let alone at night. His parents had disowned him after he’d killed her, and most of his family refused to have anything to do with him. Some of his cousins would still accept his letters, but few of them would bother to write back. Jasper was perplexed by the invitation, but, by the sound of it, it wasn’t much of an invitation anyway. Attendance seemed to be mandatory, and he was pretty sure most of the guards on the compound would enjoy dragging him there in chains.
The letter had come with their mail, and it was one of the few times the guard had called his name. The last year and a half had been difficult for Jasper, but he was getting used to making it on his own. He’d done it all his life, hadn’t he? His mom and dad had been too busy with their own thing to care about their middle child. Barbara was the smart one, Reggy was the athletic people person, and Jasper…well, Jasper was the screw up. His grades had never been too good, his achievements few and far between, and when Grace had come into the picture, his parents figured it was the best Jasper could do.
Jasper had agreed with them. Grace had been his everything from the moment she agreed to go steady with him. Grace was motivated, a natural saleswoman who had strived for something more than middle management. She had a successful business by the time she graduated college, and Jasper was happy to stay at home and keep the house. Jasper provided her with stability, someone to come home to who lacked the means to do any better, but he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.
That's why she had left him, and that's why he had killed her.
He couldn’t stand to be apart from her, couldn’t stand for her to be with someone else, and now he was stuck in Stragview for his lapse in judgment.
That's what made the note so cryptic, and the longer he thought about it, the shorter the list of people who would come all the way out here at night became.
He did a little more than wait, he supposed. Jasper had asked around about this Midnight Visitation, but no one seemed to know much about it. The younger guys all shook their heads, and the older guys clammed up when he asked them. It was like a magic spell had been cast over the whole thing, and when you asked some of these guys, it seemed to sap the life out of them before your eyes. Garth, one of the more gregarious murderers on Jasper’s block, had looked downright scared when he’d asked him about the visitation.
“I can’t say nothin,” Garth had said, “and neither will you once you go. It’s a secret that you keep after that. It’s something that changes you, or you keep going back till it does.”
“What changes you?” Jasper had asked, but Garth wouldn’t say anymore.
“Get away from me. Get away, before he thinks I told you.”
He’d left in a hurry then, their chess game only four moves in, and Jasper found he had more questions than before.
He supposed that all would be answered on Saturday, and as the days passed, he found himself a little excited by the whole idea of the thing.
When Saturday night finally arrived, Officer Gauge found him on his bunk, his best uniform still looking ragged, as he waited for whatever might come. Gauge held out a pair of cuffs, telling Jasper that he’d have to cuff him before they left. Jasper nodded, putting his hands behind his back, but Gauge told him that in the front would be fine. Jasper shrugged, it was his show, and let him cuff him in the front. Some of the guys who were still awake made suggestive noises as he left, some of them telling him to enjoy his “night visit”, but a lot of the older guys were noticeably quiet.
Gauge led him to the visitation area, the little spot behind the staff check-in area, and when Jasper shook his cuffs at him, Gauge told him to sit down and put his hands on the eye hook on the table. There were a few guys in here, some of them Jasper knew, but most he didn't, and they all seemed to be cuffed to the protruding hook in the center of the table. Jasper started to buck, but realized it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever this was, they would have him one way or another. He set his hands down on the table, and Gauge pulled a lock out of his pocket. He secured Jasper to the spot before leaving in an all fired hurry.
Whatever was about to happen, Gauge clearly didn’t want any part of it.
Jasper glanced around the room, taking in the men who sat around him. There were about twelve in all, all of them shackled to the table, and they were all spaced so that at least three chairs separated them from another inmate. Most of them looked confused or unsure, but a couple of them looked like they knew what was coming; knew and weren’t looking forward to it. One of them, a big bald bruiser named Dennis, had his head against the table as he cried nakedly between his elbows. Another who Jasper didn’t know was praying in fast spanish. A third, Jasper thought his name might be Conroy, was thrashing around as he pulled at his bonds. His eyes were roving around like a scared horse, and he kept pulling at his cuffs until he heard a lock click near the back of the room.
Then he went still and Jasper thought he saw him listening for something.
A pair of double metal doors at the back of the room burst open then, and Jasper saw a small group walk in unattended by guards. Two of them were children, a pair of twins who looked ghostly under the dim fluorescents. One was a dark haired woman who sat down in front of the man as he prayed. The last was a tall, homely woman who took the seat across from a younger inmate that Jasper couldn’t put a name to. The young man stiffened as she sat down, and the pair was close enough that Jasper could suddenly see that the problem wasn’t the womans face, but rather what was on it. She had a crop of mold growing from ear to ear and as it wove around her eyes, it made her look like she was wearing glasses.
“Hello, Emanuel.” she said, her voice thick but not unhappy to see him, “I see prison had suited you.”
“What the fuck is this?” the inmate said, trying to back away and failing as the chains caught him, “you ain’t real. You look like my ma, but you ain’t my ma.”
“Of course I am, Em. How else would I know about how you drowned me in the bathtub? How else would I know what you did to me before you buried me in the basement? How else would I know how much you cried before you turned yourself in? You felt me watching you from the corner of your room, and it ate at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The same way,” She leaned in slyly as she grinned, “that you ate at me after I was gone.”
The inmates started making a sound like someone choking on air. He kept pulling away from the woman, but the chains brought him up yet again. Jasper looked away, but he could see similar scenes of horror unfolding around him as more people joined them. The twins sat down in front of the sobbing man, but he wouldn’t lift his head. He wouldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them, but the longer Jasper looked, the more he could see the bruises around the necks. The deep purple marks looked like individual fingers, and they seemed incable speaking through their bruised throats. They sat menacingly across from him, and every peek he gave them was followed by a hopeless cry of terror.
Others came, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, wives, and everything in between. The inmates' reactions were as varied as the specters. One man could only repeat the phrase “I’m sorry” as a half naked boy of seventeen sat silently across from him. The mother and son he had seen first were now sitting with her hands on his as he rocked and shook his head in negation. What could only be an older man's parents asked if he were proud of what he’d done to them, but he only sat silently and stared right through them.
Jasper wondered when it would be his turn, but he didn’t have long to ponder.
“Sorry I’m late, dear. The commute was dreadful.”
His breath came out as little more than a puff of smoke, and when he turned to look at her, Jasper could tell that it was Grace only by the necklace that she wore. He’d given her that necklace for their third anniversary, and he supposed her parents had left it on her when they buried her. Her face, a face he had loved so much, was gone. She looked like a burn victim, like a used up match stick, and the eyes that looked back at him glowed from empty sockets. Jasper wanted to scream, wanted to pull away as her red and oozing hand came out to touch his, but he couldn’t muster the strength.
She was burnt, her beauty stolen in death, and that too was his fault.
After he’d blind sided her, begging for another chance, she had told him to get lost. She said she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give her children, and suggested that he go back to his moms house before her new boyfriend found them together. At the mention of a new boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck as she turned away and slammed her head against the wall of the stairwell outside her apartment. He had kept right on doing this until she stopped struggling, and even then he did it a few more times. He only stopped when her head began to dribble something besides blood and he realized he had broken her skull. He was scared then, afraid that he would get caught, and when he put her in his car, he wasn’t sure what he intended to do with her.
The police had caught him in his parents backyard, one of her neighbors having seen the whole thing, but by then, Grace had been a charcoal briquette.
He’d heard the funeral had been closed casket, but apparently they hadn’t closed it tight enough.
“Whats wrong dear? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t live without me? I believe it was a little bit before you smashed my head against the wall. I assumed that, since you’d taken all that time to burn me, that you wanted me to look this way. Well, have a good look, Jasper. See what you’ve done to your Grace!”
Every word she spoke sent flakes of her tongue and lips onto the table, onto his hands, and onto Jasper’s face. She was leaning in closer, bringing her horrible visage closer to him, and Jasper felt his sanity beginning to whimper. As she brought the remains of her blackened lips together, he added his scream to the others. As they pressed against his flesh, he let his eyes roll up to the whites. He tried to stay conscious, but the sheer horror of the situation was eroding his mind. This couldn’t be. Things like this weren’t real. Grace was dead, she couldn’t come back to torment him.
As he regained consciousness, he found that he was still chained to the table and the terrible Grace was still sitting across from him.
“You seem to have gotten a little sleepy, my love. That's okay. The Warden was nice enough to extend invitation for the whole night, and I was more than happy to come and see my best fella.”
Jasper screamed, screamed until his throat broke, and when Gauge opened the door at five o’clock, all those present were as silent as the grave.
Gauge led them away like a flock of lambs, easily correcting them when they tried to stumble out of line. He had been doing this for a while, two or three years at least, and he had learned not to question what went on behind that door. He heard begging, screaming, the mad laughter of the deranged, and at the end of the month, he found an extra five hundred dollars added to his check for every Midnight Visitation he conducted.
His smile curdled when he remembered what the Warden had said to him when he gave him the position.
“I know you’re struggling to feed your appetites, and its only a matter of time before you end up inside these walls for doing something foolish. Why not let me help you feed those urges, and in exchange, I won't tell anyone what sort of debauchery you get up to in your spare time.”
The Warden was a weird one, but Gauge had to admit that he always kept his promises.
Gauge wondered what he put these poor saps through, but quickly put it out of his mind.
The Wardens games were none of his concern, and how he chose to discipline his inmates was his business.
submitted by Erutious to SignalHorrorFiction [link] [comments]
On Saturday, you are summoned to attend Midnight Visitation as part of your rehabilitation. Attendance is non-negotiable, and refusal will result in forced attendance followed by time spent in solitary. Be ready by no later than eleven. The Warden
“Whoa, that's pretty cool,” said Gavin, reading over his shoulder, “Who do you know that would come all the way down here at midnight to see you?”
Jasper didn’t know, and he told him as much. He was in here for killing the last person who had given a crap about him, and he couldn’t think of anyone who would make the trip in the daytime, let alone at night. His parents had disowned him after he’d killed her, and most of his family refused to have anything to do with him. Some of his cousins would still accept his letters, but few of them would bother to write back. Jasper was perplexed by the invitation, but, by the sound of it, it wasn’t much of an invitation anyway. Attendance seemed to be mandatory, and he was pretty sure most of the guards on the compound would enjoy dragging him there in chains.
The letter had come with their mail, and it was one of the few times the guard had called his name. The last year and a half had been difficult for Jasper, but he was getting used to making it on his own. He’d done it all his life, hadn’t he? His mom and dad had been too busy with their own thing to care about their middle child. Barbara was the smart one, Reggy was the athletic people person, and Jasper…well, Jasper was the screw up. His grades had never been too good, his achievements few and far between, and when Grace had come into the picture, his parents figured it was the best Jasper could do.
Jasper had agreed with them. Grace had been his everything from the moment she agreed to go steady with him. Grace was motivated, a natural saleswoman who had strived for something more than middle management. She had a successful business by the time she graduated college, and Jasper was happy to stay at home and keep the house. Jasper provided her with stability, someone to come home to who lacked the means to do any better, but he couldn’t give her the one thing she wanted.
That's why she had left him, and that's why he had killed her.
He couldn’t stand to be apart from her, couldn’t stand for her to be with someone else, and now he was stuck in Stragview for his lapse in judgment.
That's what made the note so cryptic, and the longer he thought about it, the shorter the list of people who would come all the way out here at night became.
He did a little more than wait, he supposed. Jasper had asked around about this Midnight Visitation, but no one seemed to know much about it. The younger guys all shook their heads, and the older guys clammed up when he asked them. It was like a magic spell had been cast over the whole thing, and when you asked some of these guys, it seemed to sap the life out of them before your eyes. Garth, one of the more gregarious murderers on Jasper’s block, had looked downright scared when he’d asked him about the visitation.
“I can’t say nothin,” Garth had said, “and neither will you once you go. It’s a secret that you keep after that. It’s something that changes you, or you keep going back till it does.”
“What changes you?” Jasper had asked, but Garth wouldn’t say anymore.
“Get away from me. Get away, before he thinks I told you.”
He’d left in a hurry then, their chess game only four moves in, and Jasper found he had more questions than before.
He supposed that all would be answered on Saturday, and as the days passed, he found himself a little excited by the whole idea of the thing.
When Saturday night finally arrived, Officer Gauge found him on his bunk, his best uniform still looking ragged, as he waited for whatever might come. Gauge held out a pair of cuffs, telling Jasper that he’d have to cuff him before they left. Jasper nodded, putting his hands behind his back, but Gauge told him that in the front would be fine. Jasper shrugged, it was his show, and let him cuff him in the front. Some of the guys who were still awake made suggestive noises as he left, some of them telling him to enjoy his “night visit”, but a lot of the older guys were noticeably quiet.
Gauge led him to the visitation area, the little spot behind the staff check-in area, and when Jasper shook his cuffs at him, Gauge told him to sit down and put his hands on the eye hook on the table. There were a few guys in here, some of them Jasper knew, but most he didn't, and they all seemed to be cuffed to the protruding hook in the center of the table. Jasper started to buck, but realized it wouldn’t do any good. Whatever this was, they would have him one way or another. He set his hands down on the table, and Gauge pulled a lock out of his pocket. He secured Jasper to the spot before leaving in an all fired hurry.
Whatever was about to happen, Gauge clearly didn’t want any part of it.
Jasper glanced around the room, taking in the men who sat around him. There were about twelve in all, all of them shackled to the table, and they were all spaced so that at least three chairs separated them from another inmate. Most of them looked confused or unsure, but a couple of them looked like they knew what was coming; knew and weren’t looking forward to it. One of them, a big bald bruiser named Dennis, had his head against the table as he cried nakedly between his elbows. Another who Jasper didn’t know was praying in fast spanish. A third, Jasper thought his name might be Conroy, was thrashing around as he pulled at his bonds. His eyes were roving around like a scared horse, and he kept pulling at his cuffs until he heard a lock click near the back of the room.
Then he went still and Jasper thought he saw him listening for something.
A pair of double metal doors at the back of the room burst open then, and Jasper saw a small group walk in unattended by guards. Two of them were children, a pair of twins who looked ghostly under the dim fluorescents. One was a dark haired woman who sat down in front of the man as he prayed. The last was a tall, homely woman who took the seat across from a younger inmate that Jasper couldn’t put a name to. The young man stiffened as she sat down, and the pair was close enough that Jasper could suddenly see that the problem wasn’t the womans face, but rather what was on it. She had a crop of mold growing from ear to ear and as it wove around her eyes, it made her look like she was wearing glasses.
“Hello, Emanuel.” she said, her voice thick but not unhappy to see him, “I see prison had suited you.”
“What the fuck is this?” the inmate said, trying to back away and failing as the chains caught him, “you ain’t real. You look like my ma, but you ain’t my ma.”
“Of course I am, Em. How else would I know about how you drowned me in the bathtub? How else would I know what you did to me before you buried me in the basement? How else would I know how much you cried before you turned yourself in? You felt me watching you from the corner of your room, and it ate at you until you couldn’t take it anymore. The same way,” She leaned in slyly as she grinned, “that you ate at me after I was gone.”
The inmates started making a sound like someone choking on air. He kept pulling away from the woman, but the chains brought him up yet again. Jasper looked away, but he could see similar scenes of horror unfolding around him as more people joined them. The twins sat down in front of the sobbing man, but he wouldn’t lift his head. He wouldn’t look at them, couldn’t look at them, but the longer Jasper looked, the more he could see the bruises around the necks. The deep purple marks looked like individual fingers, and they seemed incable speaking through their bruised throats. They sat menacingly across from him, and every peek he gave them was followed by a hopeless cry of terror.
Others came, men, women, children, mothers, fathers, wives, and everything in between. The inmates' reactions were as varied as the specters. One man could only repeat the phrase “I’m sorry” as a half naked boy of seventeen sat silently across from him. The mother and son he had seen first were now sitting with her hands on his as he rocked and shook his head in negation. What could only be an older man's parents asked if he were proud of what he’d done to them, but he only sat silently and stared right through them.
Jasper wondered when it would be his turn, but he didn’t have long to ponder.
“Sorry I’m late, dear. The commute was dreadful.”
His breath came out as little more than a puff of smoke, and when he turned to look at her, Jasper could tell that it was Grace only by the necklace that she wore. He’d given her that necklace for their third anniversary, and he supposed her parents had left it on her when they buried her. Her face, a face he had loved so much, was gone. She looked like a burn victim, like a used up match stick, and the eyes that looked back at him glowed from empty sockets. Jasper wanted to scream, wanted to pull away as her red and oozing hand came out to touch his, but he couldn’t muster the strength.
She was burnt, her beauty stolen in death, and that too was his fault.
After he’d blind sided her, begging for another chance, she had told him to get lost. She said she couldn’t be with someone who couldn’t give her children, and suggested that he go back to his moms house before her new boyfriend found them together. At the mention of a new boyfriend, he grabbed her by the neck as she turned away and slammed her head against the wall of the stairwell outside her apartment. He had kept right on doing this until she stopped struggling, and even then he did it a few more times. He only stopped when her head began to dribble something besides blood and he realized he had broken her skull. He was scared then, afraid that he would get caught, and when he put her in his car, he wasn’t sure what he intended to do with her.
The police had caught him in his parents backyard, one of her neighbors having seen the whole thing, but by then, Grace had been a charcoal briquette.
He’d heard the funeral had been closed casket, but apparently they hadn’t closed it tight enough.
“Whats wrong dear? Didn’t you tell me you couldn’t live without me? I believe it was a little bit before you smashed my head against the wall. I assumed that, since you’d taken all that time to burn me, that you wanted me to look this way. Well, have a good look, Jasper. See what you’ve done to your Grace!”
Every word she spoke sent flakes of her tongue and lips onto the table, onto his hands, and onto Jasper’s face. She was leaning in closer, bringing her horrible visage closer to him, and Jasper felt his sanity beginning to whimper. As she brought the remains of her blackened lips together, he added his scream to the others. As they pressed against his flesh, he let his eyes roll up to the whites. He tried to stay conscious, but the sheer horror of the situation was eroding his mind. This couldn’t be. Things like this weren’t real. Grace was dead, she couldn’t come back to torment him.
As he regained consciousness, he found that he was still chained to the table and the terrible Grace was still sitting across from him.
“You seem to have gotten a little sleepy, my love. That's okay. The Warden was nice enough to extend invitation for the whole night, and I was more than happy to come and see my best fella.”
Jasper screamed, screamed until his throat broke, and when Gauge opened the door at five o’clock, all those present were as silent as the grave.
Gauge led them away like a flock of lambs, easily correcting them when they tried to stumble out of line. He had been doing this for a while, two or three years at least, and he had learned not to question what went on behind that door. He heard begging, screaming, the mad laughter of the deranged, and at the end of the month, he found an extra five hundred dollars added to his check for every Midnight Visitation he conducted.
His smile curdled when he remembered what the Warden had said to him when he gave him the position.
“I know you’re struggling to feed your appetites, and its only a matter of time before you end up inside these walls for doing something foolish. Why not let me help you feed those urges, and in exchange, I won't tell anyone what sort of debauchery you get up to in your spare time.”
The Warden was a weird one, but Gauge had to admit that he always kept his promises.
Gauge wondered what he put these poor saps through, but quickly put it out of his mind.
The Wardens games were none of his concern, and how he chose to discipline his inmates was his business.
2023.06.10 21:55 TraumaShmauma Long post- seeking advice with smear campaign and false accusations of abuse
TLDR: I’ve finally had enough of the cheating, lies, manipulation, and abuse and I’m ready to leave for good but my life is in shambles and I’m afraid of him. Seeking advice on how to navigate and recover from this terrible situation I’ve put myself in.
I’ll try to be as brief as I can. It’s a lot…
I was with my child’s daddy for my whole adult life. 14 years. He’s all I ever knew and for the most part, our relationship was great. There was no cheating or abuse. He was a good dad and my best friend. The last couple years were a nonstop barrage of curveballs and hardships that took a big toll on both of us and our relationship. He made some big mistakes that hurt us a lot and I eventually decided we needed to separate.
When I left, he turned into a man I didn’t recognize. It was and still is traumatizing. I thought we’d be best friends, or at least good coparents. I expected him to be angry and fight me initially but I had no idea he was capable of what he’s done. He hates me. False accusations of domestic abuse and infidelity, accusations of mental illness and unfit parenting. Vicious smear campaign and endless frivolous litigation from his team of very expensive men’s rights lawyers trying to take our child from me.
It was the worst thing that had ever happened and I didn’t understand. I was a stay at home mom and we weren’t married so when I left, we agreed to “nest” in our home while it sold, taking turns staying with our daughter to ease her into the transition. But when I left the first night, he changed the locks on our home, filed a police report of lies and a protective order not allowing me near our home or daughter, and hired a lawyer to petition for full custody. He cleared out my bank account. I was penniless with nothing but an overnight bag and my car. Nothing ever stuck because it was always based on lies. He would drop the accusations before we ever saw a judge. But then would start the whole thing over again.
One after another, I was able to prove my innocence against his lies. Even has a full psych eval with third party input that took a week with one of the top doctors in the state to put to rest his claims of being delusional and mentally unstable. The doctor said that I was depressed and had ptsd from what he’d done but that I was otherwise mentally sound. He also noted that in all of his career, he’d never had someone try so hard to manipulate him into a diagnosis and that my ex’s reaction when he caught him in a lie was troubling. He recommended he have a psych eval as well but I didn’t have the 7k to pay for it and I just kept hoping that he would tucker himself out and stop wanting to hurt me. It wasn’t like him and I attributed everything to him feeling helpless and afraid himself, and betrayed and broken hearted that I left. He really is a good man. I hoped if I stayed the course and didn’t fight back other than defending myself, he would want to move forward and focus on rebuilding his life and giving our sweet baby the best childhood possible. I only ever asked for 50/50 and no child support, despite being her primary caretaker while he worked (at his request) for her entire life until then. I wanted nothing but to be left alone.
It was only a little over a year in and I certainly was not ready or healed enough to be dating. But things were getting better. He’d run out of things to accuse me of. I got a job and a cute apartment for my girl and me and it was finally steady. I thought I’d dip my toe back in and try casually dating. I shouldn’t have. I was lonely and still struggled on the days I didn’t have my daughter.
It didn’t take long before I met him. Oh my gosh. An angel. It was whirlwind. I’d never met anyone like him and I didn’t know love could be so good. The most charming, romantic, handsome, perfect man in the world. And he wanted me!?! It was crazy. I was smitten. It was passionate and intimate and exciting every single day. He’d hand write me the most beautiful love letters. My apartment looked like someone died with the amount of flowers he sent. He was always planning amazing adventures for us and doting on me. It made it all make sense. It was all worth it because it lead me to him.
I’m an idiot… And introduced him to my daughter four months in. I’d never been so sure about anything. I mean, we’d already mapped out our future together. This was for keeps. Might as well lean in! And my god, they hit it off instantly. She adored him. She lit up when he came around. He’d bring a bouquet of flowers for each of us. They’d text each other memes and jokes. Ugh my heart. My girl doesn’t like men.. She’s sassy and the way she latched onto him was proof that this was all meant to be.
He has a daughter about the same age! They loved each other, too. My girl always wanted a sibling and it couldn’t be more perfect. My life was perfect. He was the sweetest daddy. He always planned an adventure the weekends we had our girls. He was so thankful I let him be a part of our lives and told me he took it very seriously. He would be a man she could look up to. He would show her stoicism and strength and restore what she had lost from the trauma of what her father did.
He said he was going to marry me. He’d text me house listings and tell me stories of how we’d spend our evenings reading to each other on the porch and watching our babies play.
It was only 6 months in that something changed. He would snap at me for things I didn’t understand. He would get wasted and yell at me for not really loving him. Accuse me of cheating or using him or wanting to make him my “little b**** boy.” It was horrible. I would pour myself into trying to explain away whatever he was on about but it never worked. Always ended in me fleeing and him blocking me for a day or two. Then he would come back full of remorse and regret and say he realized he was looking at it all wrong. He just loved me so much. He would be so sweet again.
I didn’t understand. I’d never experienced anything like this. The highs or the lows. And I loved him so much. I loved the future we were building.
Not long after, during one of his rages, he told me he’d been cheating on me. Not to confess, but to hurt me. He hates when I cry and it makes him so cruel. I was crying about him being mean and mad at me for some drunken thing he made up and he let me have it. Said the meanest things. Ripped me to pieces. And then told me he was sleeping with a beautiful young nurse who was much more fun than me.
I could go on and on. But the gist is that I kept taking him back. And it kept getting worse. Before long, I was completely isolated from my friends and spend every second I had trying to make him happy and get back to the yum we had before.
He’s now admitted to having 6 physical affairs and doesn’t know how many women he “talked to.” I know of at least 3 others that he slept with.
Each time I would find out, he would rage at me and then block me and go be with other women for a few days. Which was bad enough but then I found out about the smear campaign. He’d been spreading vicious lies about me. And most of them mirrored the same accusations my child’s father said. That was intentional. He told everyone in his life that I was mentally ill, abusive, violent, controlling. That I stalked him and hit him. He told people I tried to stab him one night.
I found this out because he called my child father and told him all of these things. He claims he was drunk and doesn’t remember it, which could actually be true but I don’t know. My kids dad recorded the phone call and used it to file a motion to take her from me.
He kept promising he would come clean and fix everything he did. Kept saying he needed a couple days to figure out how and to make sure he did me justice. But it kept not happening. It’s been a year now and every time I break down and demand he finally clears my name, he managed to twist the whole conversation into me just wanting revenge for the past and I’m a vengeful abuser that doesn’t love him. And then leaves and blocks me again.
A few months ago, after yet another breakup, I was done. I left for good. But I’m still an idiot and when he came back, he said he had an epiphany and he couldn’t stand the shame and pain of suddenly realizing what he’d done to me. He was ready to be honest and do whatever he could to fix what he broke.
We sat down and he admitted in detail to all the women he physically cheated with. Admitted the lies he told about me. Explained his reasons for everything, which were basically that he’s a scared little boy that doesn’t think I could ever love him and he needed the comfort and validation of others and couldn’t see what it did to me. Partially compartmentalization and partially thinking I wouldn’t care anyway because I didn’t actually care about him and was probably doing all the same things behind his back.
It was an exhausting and emotionally taxing conversation but it was so good to me. He cried with remorse and held me and validated all the things he’s worked so hard to make me feel bad for. I believed him. I had hope again but I was too mentally drained to continue and he was too so we decided to “love bubble” for a couple days and then sit down and actually take steps to fix what he did to me.
When it came, he went right back to the same narrative and behavior as before. That I wanted to punish him and rub his nose in his mistakes and ruin his life. I was livid. I left and took his iPad. Found out he was still cheating with multiple women, that the “truth” he told me was bull, that he was still smearing me and nobody even knew we were seeing each other. And that one of the affairs was with a 19 year old girl he met on a hunting trip while he was still married. He wrote her love letters and poems all day and then snuck her off and got her drunk and slept with her in the backseat of his truck. He hasn’t seen her since but they send nudes and declare each other their soulmates and talk about how they’ll end up together someday. We’re in the process of planning a trip together in the next month.
Gross.
She was 19 years old and he was 41 and married with a child when he went after her. And they’ve continued on for 3 years. One of the love letters he sent her was mine. I wrote it to him. He stole my words and used them to seduce this girl. I found out recently he used that same letter on several of the women he cheated with. It makes me sick.
I think I stayed so long because I felt so helpless in my life. I just wanted to give my daughter a happy family and be a normal person. And I thought I’d found that so when everything was proving otherwise, I was too scared and weak to admit it. I gaslit myself because I was scared what it meant for me to have to go against two men that want to hurt me. I am still too scared.
I still don’t understand. I’m not perfect but I’m good to the men I love. I spoil them. I fulfill all of their fantasies. I’m patient and generous and give endless grace and always look for the good under a mistake. I’m the best hype girl. I love nothing more than lifting up the people I love and showing them how powerful and worthy they are. I hate letting people down.
I have only ever once turned down sex with him. and it was after he’d just yelled at me and made me cry because I found out he rawdogged a tinder woman in our bed and let me sleep in the dirty sheets. He got so angry and accused me of thinking he’s a predator and he ripped the sheets off the bed and threw them at me so hard that when I blocked it, it made my hand hit me in the face and gave me a black eye. Then he chased me out of the house while I was scurrying to get dressed, telling me to Jill myself and nobody would ever love me, and punched the door next to my face as I was trying to open it to leave. Then he called the cops and filed a report saying I hit him. I guess he’s done that several times after I left.
Anyway… sheesh. I’m scatterbrained. So after he’d taken back his promise to clear my name, I told him I would have to do it myself. I started recording his rages after I found out he was telling people I abused him. I also recorded the conversations of him admitting he was lying about me. Also many of the conversations about the women were via text. Including the ones about the teenager, his friend/coworker’s wife, a married woman that worked for him who had a mental breakdown from the affair, etc, etc, etc.
I said that he had the opportunity to clear my name however he wanted to without exposing himself. That I didn’t want to harm his life, just fix mine. He could create a whole new narrative of lies for all I cared as long as it cleared me from the vile things he made up about me.
He broke his hand in the wall next to my head by punching it so hard. I left. He called the police and filed a report that I broke in and hit him. And then hired a lawyer and filed a PO on the basis of domestic violence, stalking, and blackmail. All the while trying to bait me into coming over saying he loved me and wanted to fix it so he could have me arrested.
I didn’t even hire a lawyer because it seemed so absurd and I had so much proof he was lying. If recorded it. I had screenshots of him denying it and telling me to come see him and he wanted to marry me. Also because I was poor. He has gotten me fired from my job a couple weeks prior.
His lawyer was good. She shot down my evidence in the heating and used the police reports as proof… which seems like a weird thing to do because they were his testimony. But the judge said she almost never denies a PO because at the very least, those people should stay away from each other. It was granted based on stalking because I’d made a Google drive file of some recordings and screenshots and sent them to several family members and friends begging them to help me. They ignored me. He told them I was insane and not to open it.
My child’s father used that to take her away again.
I’ve been fighting tooth and nail but I’m drowning. Nobody cares. I’m so worn down and have panic attacks almost every day.
Unsurprisingly, he came back recently. So sorry and full of remorse and shame. She’s it all so much clearer now and can’t live with himself for what he did. Can’t live without me. Tugs my heartstrings talking about reading on the porch of our beautiful family home and reminiscing about the good loving times.
Means promises. Same lies. The thing is, I do believe he means it. I think he means it every time. It’s just that the shame and fear of actually following through and publicly facing what he did makes him retreat and go back to the delusional narrative that I abused him and he didn’t do any of the things he did.
I believe he really means it but I no longer believe he’s capable or will mean it in the times he should. He will not change. He wants to be a good man. Something is broken in him. He stopped drinking bourbon but still drinks beer every night. He abuses steroids and vyvanse and they make him irritable and angry and unpredictable. He has so much self loathing and shame. He hates himself. He’s built like a Greek god, the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen, but he has body dysmorphia and starves himself and binges and runs several miles every single day and also goes to the gym for two hours. He has to smoke those super strong joints dipped in something and take half a bottle of zzzquil to sleep at night. On top of the 10+ beers, steroids, and vyvanse. He never remembers anything and I think he really thinks I’m making a lot of it up but refuses to listen to the recordings.
This time, even though I didn’t believe him, I was so broken and felt so helpless that I let him come back hoping he would at least drop the PO and help me get my daughter home.
He finally dropped the PO after weeks of being sketchy about it. I think he wanted to use it as leverage to protect himself in case I exposed him. I’d go to jail.
But once again, I told him either he needs to clear my name or I would and he’s latched on tot he same old victim narrative that I’m trying to get revenge and destroy him for the past. Has blocked me again. I have a feeling he’s out filing police reports and trying to get another PO. But it won’t work this time because I refused to be physically near him and haven’t told anyone anything yet.
I have to defend myself from his lies to get my daughter back. He’s not going to come clean. But after seeing how rotten the court system is, I am terrified he’s going to either find a way to put me in prison with his lies or kill me if he feels trapped. I really believe if he felt it was hopeless and he was exposed, he would him me and himself.
This was so long. I’m sorry. I’m wordy. It’s a lot. But if anyone read this and can give me some advice, I would be so thankful. I can’t see straight and have no idea what I’m doing. I haven’t left my house in days because I panic and get dizzy trying to go outside. I need help. And I need to never date ever again if I manage to climb out of this mess. I’m not good at it.
submitted by TraumaShmauma to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]
I’ll try to be as brief as I can. It’s a lot…
I was with my child’s daddy for my whole adult life. 14 years. He’s all I ever knew and for the most part, our relationship was great. There was no cheating or abuse. He was a good dad and my best friend. The last couple years were a nonstop barrage of curveballs and hardships that took a big toll on both of us and our relationship. He made some big mistakes that hurt us a lot and I eventually decided we needed to separate.
When I left, he turned into a man I didn’t recognize. It was and still is traumatizing. I thought we’d be best friends, or at least good coparents. I expected him to be angry and fight me initially but I had no idea he was capable of what he’s done. He hates me. False accusations of domestic abuse and infidelity, accusations of mental illness and unfit parenting. Vicious smear campaign and endless frivolous litigation from his team of very expensive men’s rights lawyers trying to take our child from me.
It was the worst thing that had ever happened and I didn’t understand. I was a stay at home mom and we weren’t married so when I left, we agreed to “nest” in our home while it sold, taking turns staying with our daughter to ease her into the transition. But when I left the first night, he changed the locks on our home, filed a police report of lies and a protective order not allowing me near our home or daughter, and hired a lawyer to petition for full custody. He cleared out my bank account. I was penniless with nothing but an overnight bag and my car. Nothing ever stuck because it was always based on lies. He would drop the accusations before we ever saw a judge. But then would start the whole thing over again.
One after another, I was able to prove my innocence against his lies. Even has a full psych eval with third party input that took a week with one of the top doctors in the state to put to rest his claims of being delusional and mentally unstable. The doctor said that I was depressed and had ptsd from what he’d done but that I was otherwise mentally sound. He also noted that in all of his career, he’d never had someone try so hard to manipulate him into a diagnosis and that my ex’s reaction when he caught him in a lie was troubling. He recommended he have a psych eval as well but I didn’t have the 7k to pay for it and I just kept hoping that he would tucker himself out and stop wanting to hurt me. It wasn’t like him and I attributed everything to him feeling helpless and afraid himself, and betrayed and broken hearted that I left. He really is a good man. I hoped if I stayed the course and didn’t fight back other than defending myself, he would want to move forward and focus on rebuilding his life and giving our sweet baby the best childhood possible. I only ever asked for 50/50 and no child support, despite being her primary caretaker while he worked (at his request) for her entire life until then. I wanted nothing but to be left alone.
It was only a little over a year in and I certainly was not ready or healed enough to be dating. But things were getting better. He’d run out of things to accuse me of. I got a job and a cute apartment for my girl and me and it was finally steady. I thought I’d dip my toe back in and try casually dating. I shouldn’t have. I was lonely and still struggled on the days I didn’t have my daughter.
It didn’t take long before I met him. Oh my gosh. An angel. It was whirlwind. I’d never met anyone like him and I didn’t know love could be so good. The most charming, romantic, handsome, perfect man in the world. And he wanted me!?! It was crazy. I was smitten. It was passionate and intimate and exciting every single day. He’d hand write me the most beautiful love letters. My apartment looked like someone died with the amount of flowers he sent. He was always planning amazing adventures for us and doting on me. It made it all make sense. It was all worth it because it lead me to him.
I’m an idiot… And introduced him to my daughter four months in. I’d never been so sure about anything. I mean, we’d already mapped out our future together. This was for keeps. Might as well lean in! And my god, they hit it off instantly. She adored him. She lit up when he came around. He’d bring a bouquet of flowers for each of us. They’d text each other memes and jokes. Ugh my heart. My girl doesn’t like men.. She’s sassy and the way she latched onto him was proof that this was all meant to be.
He has a daughter about the same age! They loved each other, too. My girl always wanted a sibling and it couldn’t be more perfect. My life was perfect. He was the sweetest daddy. He always planned an adventure the weekends we had our girls. He was so thankful I let him be a part of our lives and told me he took it very seriously. He would be a man she could look up to. He would show her stoicism and strength and restore what she had lost from the trauma of what her father did.
He said he was going to marry me. He’d text me house listings and tell me stories of how we’d spend our evenings reading to each other on the porch and watching our babies play.
It was only 6 months in that something changed. He would snap at me for things I didn’t understand. He would get wasted and yell at me for not really loving him. Accuse me of cheating or using him or wanting to make him my “little b**** boy.” It was horrible. I would pour myself into trying to explain away whatever he was on about but it never worked. Always ended in me fleeing and him blocking me for a day or two. Then he would come back full of remorse and regret and say he realized he was looking at it all wrong. He just loved me so much. He would be so sweet again.
I didn’t understand. I’d never experienced anything like this. The highs or the lows. And I loved him so much. I loved the future we were building.
Not long after, during one of his rages, he told me he’d been cheating on me. Not to confess, but to hurt me. He hates when I cry and it makes him so cruel. I was crying about him being mean and mad at me for some drunken thing he made up and he let me have it. Said the meanest things. Ripped me to pieces. And then told me he was sleeping with a beautiful young nurse who was much more fun than me.
I could go on and on. But the gist is that I kept taking him back. And it kept getting worse. Before long, I was completely isolated from my friends and spend every second I had trying to make him happy and get back to the yum we had before.
He’s now admitted to having 6 physical affairs and doesn’t know how many women he “talked to.” I know of at least 3 others that he slept with.
Each time I would find out, he would rage at me and then block me and go be with other women for a few days. Which was bad enough but then I found out about the smear campaign. He’d been spreading vicious lies about me. And most of them mirrored the same accusations my child’s father said. That was intentional. He told everyone in his life that I was mentally ill, abusive, violent, controlling. That I stalked him and hit him. He told people I tried to stab him one night.
I found this out because he called my child father and told him all of these things. He claims he was drunk and doesn’t remember it, which could actually be true but I don’t know. My kids dad recorded the phone call and used it to file a motion to take her from me.
He kept promising he would come clean and fix everything he did. Kept saying he needed a couple days to figure out how and to make sure he did me justice. But it kept not happening. It’s been a year now and every time I break down and demand he finally clears my name, he managed to twist the whole conversation into me just wanting revenge for the past and I’m a vengeful abuser that doesn’t love him. And then leaves and blocks me again.
A few months ago, after yet another breakup, I was done. I left for good. But I’m still an idiot and when he came back, he said he had an epiphany and he couldn’t stand the shame and pain of suddenly realizing what he’d done to me. He was ready to be honest and do whatever he could to fix what he broke.
We sat down and he admitted in detail to all the women he physically cheated with. Admitted the lies he told about me. Explained his reasons for everything, which were basically that he’s a scared little boy that doesn’t think I could ever love him and he needed the comfort and validation of others and couldn’t see what it did to me. Partially compartmentalization and partially thinking I wouldn’t care anyway because I didn’t actually care about him and was probably doing all the same things behind his back.
It was an exhausting and emotionally taxing conversation but it was so good to me. He cried with remorse and held me and validated all the things he’s worked so hard to make me feel bad for. I believed him. I had hope again but I was too mentally drained to continue and he was too so we decided to “love bubble” for a couple days and then sit down and actually take steps to fix what he did to me.
When it came, he went right back to the same narrative and behavior as before. That I wanted to punish him and rub his nose in his mistakes and ruin his life. I was livid. I left and took his iPad. Found out he was still cheating with multiple women, that the “truth” he told me was bull, that he was still smearing me and nobody even knew we were seeing each other. And that one of the affairs was with a 19 year old girl he met on a hunting trip while he was still married. He wrote her love letters and poems all day and then snuck her off and got her drunk and slept with her in the backseat of his truck. He hasn’t seen her since but they send nudes and declare each other their soulmates and talk about how they’ll end up together someday. We’re in the process of planning a trip together in the next month.
Gross.
She was 19 years old and he was 41 and married with a child when he went after her. And they’ve continued on for 3 years. One of the love letters he sent her was mine. I wrote it to him. He stole my words and used them to seduce this girl. I found out recently he used that same letter on several of the women he cheated with. It makes me sick.
I think I stayed so long because I felt so helpless in my life. I just wanted to give my daughter a happy family and be a normal person. And I thought I’d found that so when everything was proving otherwise, I was too scared and weak to admit it. I gaslit myself because I was scared what it meant for me to have to go against two men that want to hurt me. I am still too scared.
I still don’t understand. I’m not perfect but I’m good to the men I love. I spoil them. I fulfill all of their fantasies. I’m patient and generous and give endless grace and always look for the good under a mistake. I’m the best hype girl. I love nothing more than lifting up the people I love and showing them how powerful and worthy they are. I hate letting people down.
I have only ever once turned down sex with him. and it was after he’d just yelled at me and made me cry because I found out he rawdogged a tinder woman in our bed and let me sleep in the dirty sheets. He got so angry and accused me of thinking he’s a predator and he ripped the sheets off the bed and threw them at me so hard that when I blocked it, it made my hand hit me in the face and gave me a black eye. Then he chased me out of the house while I was scurrying to get dressed, telling me to Jill myself and nobody would ever love me, and punched the door next to my face as I was trying to open it to leave. Then he called the cops and filed a report saying I hit him. I guess he’s done that several times after I left.
Anyway… sheesh. I’m scatterbrained. So after he’d taken back his promise to clear my name, I told him I would have to do it myself. I started recording his rages after I found out he was telling people I abused him. I also recorded the conversations of him admitting he was lying about me. Also many of the conversations about the women were via text. Including the ones about the teenager, his friend/coworker’s wife, a married woman that worked for him who had a mental breakdown from the affair, etc, etc, etc.
I said that he had the opportunity to clear my name however he wanted to without exposing himself. That I didn’t want to harm his life, just fix mine. He could create a whole new narrative of lies for all I cared as long as it cleared me from the vile things he made up about me.
He broke his hand in the wall next to my head by punching it so hard. I left. He called the police and filed a report that I broke in and hit him. And then hired a lawyer and filed a PO on the basis of domestic violence, stalking, and blackmail. All the while trying to bait me into coming over saying he loved me and wanted to fix it so he could have me arrested.
I didn’t even hire a lawyer because it seemed so absurd and I had so much proof he was lying. If recorded it. I had screenshots of him denying it and telling me to come see him and he wanted to marry me. Also because I was poor. He has gotten me fired from my job a couple weeks prior.
His lawyer was good. She shot down my evidence in the heating and used the police reports as proof… which seems like a weird thing to do because they were his testimony. But the judge said she almost never denies a PO because at the very least, those people should stay away from each other. It was granted based on stalking because I’d made a Google drive file of some recordings and screenshots and sent them to several family members and friends begging them to help me. They ignored me. He told them I was insane and not to open it.
My child’s father used that to take her away again.
I’ve been fighting tooth and nail but I’m drowning. Nobody cares. I’m so worn down and have panic attacks almost every day.
Unsurprisingly, he came back recently. So sorry and full of remorse and shame. She’s it all so much clearer now and can’t live with himself for what he did. Can’t live without me. Tugs my heartstrings talking about reading on the porch of our beautiful family home and reminiscing about the good loving times.
Means promises. Same lies. The thing is, I do believe he means it. I think he means it every time. It’s just that the shame and fear of actually following through and publicly facing what he did makes him retreat and go back to the delusional narrative that I abused him and he didn’t do any of the things he did.
I believe he really means it but I no longer believe he’s capable or will mean it in the times he should. He will not change. He wants to be a good man. Something is broken in him. He stopped drinking bourbon but still drinks beer every night. He abuses steroids and vyvanse and they make him irritable and angry and unpredictable. He has so much self loathing and shame. He hates himself. He’s built like a Greek god, the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen, but he has body dysmorphia and starves himself and binges and runs several miles every single day and also goes to the gym for two hours. He has to smoke those super strong joints dipped in something and take half a bottle of zzzquil to sleep at night. On top of the 10+ beers, steroids, and vyvanse. He never remembers anything and I think he really thinks I’m making a lot of it up but refuses to listen to the recordings.
This time, even though I didn’t believe him, I was so broken and felt so helpless that I let him come back hoping he would at least drop the PO and help me get my daughter home.
He finally dropped the PO after weeks of being sketchy about it. I think he wanted to use it as leverage to protect himself in case I exposed him. I’d go to jail.
But once again, I told him either he needs to clear my name or I would and he’s latched on tot he same old victim narrative that I’m trying to get revenge and destroy him for the past. Has blocked me again. I have a feeling he’s out filing police reports and trying to get another PO. But it won’t work this time because I refused to be physically near him and haven’t told anyone anything yet.
I have to defend myself from his lies to get my daughter back. He’s not going to come clean. But after seeing how rotten the court system is, I am terrified he’s going to either find a way to put me in prison with his lies or kill me if he feels trapped. I really believe if he felt it was hopeless and he was exposed, he would him me and himself.
This was so long. I’m sorry. I’m wordy. It’s a lot. But if anyone read this and can give me some advice, I would be so thankful. I can’t see straight and have no idea what I’m doing. I haven’t left my house in days because I panic and get dizzy trying to go outside. I need help. And I need to never date ever again if I manage to climb out of this mess. I’m not good at it.
2023.06.10 21:55 Intrepid_Outcome5585 Emo post
Here we are again. Was fooled by the honeymoon faze. ( have MDD and i function low mood more than any other mood) so when I woke up several days in a row, actually wanting to wake up, actually wanting to leave the room and talk to people and go places, i was laughing, holding conversations. What a life I’ve been missing out on for years! Made me feel like i was in my early 20s again i thought those feeings just diminished as we continue pushing 30s and upwards. Then this morning i woke up and the second I opened my eyes I recognized the feeling immediately. Felt right back to ways I have been feeling for better half of few years now. Damn. I think it’s probably obvious why it sucked a lil extra this time tho and fed fuel to this fire. I’ve been bamboozeled, so I feel.
(Little info on why we chose this med opposed to others): We’re still trying to get to the bottom if I have a certain other problem. It is process of illumination and narrowing it down to if it’s one thing or this other. Basically I used to be a go getter and then every time I got what I wanted (the car I wanted, my own place, relationships) almost like clock work once the first month past, it was a matter of time when I’d internally think and feel “well… that was great while it lasted but, this is it huh? Now what. Every day is once again just repeating itself and all of these things I wanted at some point, I now have and now I know longer have feeling or care for them anymore” … essentially, it was as if I was always looking for my next ‘fix’ in a sense, though I didn’t see it that way back then. So my body is craving a feel good, I’m in my early 20s, I’m partying, sure enough I get introduced to drugs. The worst kind right off the bat too although I didn’t know that till way later when I went to get off it. Being high was an easy reward when you were already high… but the constant process of always needing to go get more, per usual, got repetitive and boring to me. Ended up getting help and getting the opiates 🙏. That felt good and made me proud and motivated for something over two months! (New record) then everything became the norm and boring, once again). Are you seeing the pattern here?
I tried Zoloft a while ago and then it oddly stopped working after 2-3 months and SAME thing as today, I had woke up and knew exactly what was happening and what I was feeling again. It persisted so I winged off it.
I pleaded desperately with my doctor “ I can’t hold a job because I’ve become so bored and disinterested with the similarities I find in everything, which has became my feelings towards my dating life and is starting to effect my family relationships and everything else, I don’t think I have many more months here to WAIT and see if this med works only to find out it doesn’t, then try a new one and WAIT 2 MORE months to hope and pray that it MIGHT start working again.”
One of the doctors suggested that considering my last history, it could be a form of ADHD or just lack of dopeamine from the few years of opiate abuse and recomended I try a NDRI instead.
I’m scared ssris and ndris are will be complete bullshit. and I refuse to even imagine if it makes my symptoms worse as that’s a bridge I really hope I don’t have to cross one day.
This whole “wait to months and hopfully it works, if it doesn’t , here try this and wait 2 months and if it doesn’t, here try this and wait 2 months” And I’m just over here hanging off this cliff and each of my nails are slowly starting to break off.
Like shit, is their ANYTHING like another method of meds where , idk, only have to waist a week, 2 weeks TOP for it to start working and find out if it’s helpful or a no-go???
I just need a little pep talk I guess. Has this really helped anybody with sever problematic symptoms? Perhaps you have found a mix of meds that makes staying better a little more bullet proof?
submitted by Intrepid_Outcome5585 to Wellbutrin_Bupropion [link] [comments]
(Little info on why we chose this med opposed to others): We’re still trying to get to the bottom if I have a certain other problem. It is process of illumination and narrowing it down to if it’s one thing or this other. Basically I used to be a go getter and then every time I got what I wanted (the car I wanted, my own place, relationships) almost like clock work once the first month past, it was a matter of time when I’d internally think and feel “well… that was great while it lasted but, this is it huh? Now what. Every day is once again just repeating itself and all of these things I wanted at some point, I now have and now I know longer have feeling or care for them anymore” … essentially, it was as if I was always looking for my next ‘fix’ in a sense, though I didn’t see it that way back then. So my body is craving a feel good, I’m in my early 20s, I’m partying, sure enough I get introduced to drugs. The worst kind right off the bat too although I didn’t know that till way later when I went to get off it. Being high was an easy reward when you were already high… but the constant process of always needing to go get more, per usual, got repetitive and boring to me. Ended up getting help and getting the opiates 🙏. That felt good and made me proud and motivated for something over two months! (New record) then everything became the norm and boring, once again). Are you seeing the pattern here?
I tried Zoloft a while ago and then it oddly stopped working after 2-3 months and SAME thing as today, I had woke up and knew exactly what was happening and what I was feeling again. It persisted so I winged off it.
I pleaded desperately with my doctor “ I can’t hold a job because I’ve become so bored and disinterested with the similarities I find in everything, which has became my feelings towards my dating life and is starting to effect my family relationships and everything else, I don’t think I have many more months here to WAIT and see if this med works only to find out it doesn’t, then try a new one and WAIT 2 MORE months to hope and pray that it MIGHT start working again.”
One of the doctors suggested that considering my last history, it could be a form of ADHD or just lack of dopeamine from the few years of opiate abuse and recomended I try a NDRI instead.
I’m scared ssris and ndris are will be complete bullshit. and I refuse to even imagine if it makes my symptoms worse as that’s a bridge I really hope I don’t have to cross one day.
This whole “wait to months and hopfully it works, if it doesn’t , here try this and wait 2 months and if it doesn’t, here try this and wait 2 months” And I’m just over here hanging off this cliff and each of my nails are slowly starting to break off.
Like shit, is their ANYTHING like another method of meds where , idk, only have to waist a week, 2 weeks TOP for it to start working and find out if it’s helpful or a no-go???
I just need a little pep talk I guess. Has this really helped anybody with sever problematic symptoms? Perhaps you have found a mix of meds that makes staying better a little more bullet proof?