Mtg lurrus of the dream den

Found in stellaris

Found in stellaris

Do you have deep thoughts and feelings to share, but find yourself holding back out of fear of judgement? Do you have experiences, emotions, desires or dreams that want to come out - but expect them to land on deaf ears in everyday life? I believe that the real beauty of the internet is anonymity. Anonymity gives us the power to safely have a conversation with no stakes, free from judgement or external influences. They say you should give someone a mask if you want to see who they truly are, and that’s what anonymity can do for both of us. So if you feel lost or hidden, perhaps overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life or lonely even in company, reveal yourself to me. In return, I’ll promise not to judge you and reveal myself in return. If you have kindness as well as emotional depth I would love to hear from you!
To kick things off, I’ll tell you a little about myself. I’m the older brother of my family, and I tend to naturally protect others. I’m somewhere between INTP and INFP. By my nature, I’m a very kind and non-judgemental person. I’d like to create a conversational space for both of us that’s open and accepting to thoughts, feelings and experiences, without any judgement attached.
I’m a software engineer who works remotely. I’m great at my job. My interests include that I’m a computer nerd, an avid reader, an extremely passionate writer, an online roleplayer, an effective altruist, a hardcore gamer of many varieties, an amateur law nerd, and a creator of mods, among many other hats I wear. I especially love writing and also produce short stories and poetry as well as corresponding and chatting. I am rationalist-adjacent. I also took a lot of electives about philosophy, economics, and personal finance in college and continue to have an amateur passion for them. I appreciate exercise and absolutely love the peace and comfort of mother nature, so I will be sending you some nature photographs! You’ll have to get used to it, it’s part of the package!
Even though I’m a software craftsman, my real interest in life is other people - so even though I am an adept systems-based thinker, you aren’t likely to see me giving you unsolicited advice or demonstrating that much thinking of that variety in our conversations, unless it’s directly relevant. Still, connecting on any interests is always delightful!
Similarly, I don’t expect or require you to be the same kind of person as me - all I ask is that you bring a depth of your own. Are you a teacher or nurse who wants to talk about thoughts and feelings of importance that are of a different variety than the subjects above? Cool, get in touch! Do you just have a story you need to tell - or an emotion or experience you need to share? Press my name and then click “send message”! Most of all, I enjoy talking about things that have real depth, meaning and substance to both myself and others. The password to let me know you read this is apples.
I’m even open to discussing those hot button topics like politics and religion. I respect all religious viewpoints, but I tend to have a naturalistic if, in key ways, spiritual perspective. Politically I’m left but heterodox with an academic or silicon valley at times bent - I can probably challenge anyone’s point of view if requested, although I don't push these topics.
Oh, and I can totally carry a conversation. I’m perfectly capable of holding the hand of a shy partner. I will hope that in time we can both get comfortable freely expressing ourselves.
Some people want power, piety or social status, but I just want to be accepted by a few. I’d like to create a circle of close and interesting people that I can put openness, kindness and effort into and be rewarded in kind - even when it comes to a few select online friends.

I (f26) have a crush on my boyfriends (m24) friend (m24) and I don't know what to do about it. My bf and I have been together 3 1/2 years and the relationship has been good. I've recently noticed some crush-like feelings (it's been awhile) toward his friend. He and my boyfriend aren't best friends but they're in the same friend group. The friend is very sweet, quiet, has great hobbies and a bit of a wallflower (in the best way!) I only see him every couple months when we all hang out in a group setting and it's never been without my boyfriend. I've found myself recently smiling and thinking about him a lot, find him cute, and just the overall thought of him makes me happy. He even appeared in a dream (no, not that kind of dream). I'm just not sure how to navigate these thoughts!
TLDR; I'm in a healthy relationship with my boyfriend but also crushing on his friend!

I have a dream last night where me and my friend where at a carnival and at one of those shows at circuses and danny appeared there and started chasing us with a axe yelling random words we hid behind a wall and tried to call the police but when the police picked up it was Chad Chad who was teaming with Danny I woke up in sweat and tears it was terrifying

Eating a scorpion Growing gray hair and facial hair Bugs Apartment complex Skin care Clean bathroom
To dream of your own reflection in the mirror suggests that you are pondering thoughts about your inner self. The reflection in the mirror is how you perceive yourself or how you want others to see you. You may be contemplating on strengthening and changing aspects of your character.
To see your reflection in your dream represents your true self; it is time to look within. The reflection may highlight both your flaws and positive attributes. Learn from your flaws and how to improve them. At the same time, appreciate your good qualities. Alternatively, your reflection indicates how you want others to perceive you.
To see hair in your dream signifies sexual virility, seduction, sensuality, vanity, and health. It is indicative of your attitudes
Dreaming that you have gray or white hair indicates that something important has just been made aware to you. It is a symbol of knowledge, wisdom and insight. The dream may also be a metaphor suggesting that you are feeling "light-headed".
you dream of growing a beard, then it highlights the masculine aspect of your personality. You want to be more assertive and have more power. Alternatively, the dream means that you are hiding your true character.
To dream that you are in a room represents a particular aspect of yourself or a specific relationship. Dreams about various rooms often relate to hidden areas of the conscious mind and different aspects of your personality. If the room is welcoming or comfortable, then it signifies opulence and satisfaction in life. If you dream of being in a dark or confined room, then it denotes that you feel trapped or repressed in a situation.
To see an attic in your dream represents hidden memories or repressed thoughts that are being revealed. It also symbolizes your mind, spirituality, and your connection to the higher Self. Alternatively, it signifies difficulties in your life that may hinder you from attaining your goals and aspirations. However, after a long period of struggle, you will overcome these difficulties.
To see a cluttered attic in your dream is a sign to organize your mind and thoughts. Perhaps, you need to rid yourself of the past and let go of the past emotions that are holding you back.
To see your cousin in your dream represents something or some aspect of your character that is somewhat familiar. Perhaps you need to spend more time in cultivating and developing some emerging ability or character.
To dream about an apartment refers to your financial or emotional state. To dream of a large and lavish apartment means that you are headed in the right direction in life. Things will improve for you.
To dream that you are opening the blinds indicates that you are ready to reveal something significant and/or personal that was previously unknown.
To dream that you are in the bathroom relates to your instinctual urges. You may be experiencing some burdens/feelings and need to "relieve yourself". Alternatively, a bathroom symbolizes purification and self-renewal. You need to cleanse yourself, both emotionally and psychologically.
To see your mother in your dream represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development.
To see clutter in your dream indicates that you need to clean up and organize a certain aspect of your life. The dream could be telling you that you need to let go of the past.
To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that need to be worked out with your mother.
To dream that you are outside represents freedom, openness and opportunities. You are able to spread out and enjoy. Alternatively, the dream signifies your need to be more expressive. It is telling you that you need to stop closing yourself off.
a situation in your waking life which may be painful or hurtful. It is also indicative of destructive feelings, "stinging" remarks, bitter words and/or negative thoughts being expressed by or aimed against you. You may be on a self-destructive and self-defeating path. You need to get rid of the old and make room for something new.
To dream that you are eating alone signifies loss, loneliness, and depression. You may feel rejected, excluded, and cut off from social/family ties. Eating may be a replacement for companionship and provide a form of comfort. Alternatively, eating alone reflects independent needs. Also consider the phrase, "what's eating you up?" in reference to anxiety that you may be feeling.

Hey everyone!
We'd like to introduce you to a new tool called JobSyncr (https://jobsyncr.com/) which we've developed that utilizes ChatGPT to generate personalized job suggestions based on factors like your personal interests and job experience, among other things. On top of that the tool can give you a personalised job guide, essentially a roadmap that offers suggestions on courses, certifications, and strategies you might consider to help you get closer to your dream job.
Our goal is to help you discover new potential career paths that might resonate with your personal goals and aspirations. For instance, if you have a background in programming and a love for nature, the tool might suggest something like "Environmental Data Scientist".
We want to make sure that this tool is as helpful as possible, so we would love to hear your feedback. Your input will help us determine if it's worth putting more effort into this project!
Thank you for your time and valuable insights!

so im a minor and have been on 25mg of sertraline for 11 months now and for the past couple weeks i’ve been having dreams that are beginning to confuse me about what’s real or not. Is this normal?

Life is good. Johnny Winters has been steadily growing his career as a software engineer and developer, programming and coding his way to the top of several different companies before finally being snagged on to the last one that promised him the highest pay. Whether he works in the fancy office, or from home, a steady six-figure salary keeps him more than afloat, and a cool, easy life of doing work that he loved ensured to keep him from falling into a depressive state. Because apart from his job being the only thing moving in his life, everything else has gone completely still. His social life? Nonexistent. He was a workaholic and only recently began to wind that down to appreciate life more. He was a 28 year old man - only two more years until he hits 30 and has been successful so far. But the time for youth and freedom was running thin, at least, in his mind. His friends from high school spread out all over the states, hell, some - the world. Relationships? When would he have the time? His focus was primarily on work. Although he’s fairly attractive, he’s unsure of how he would attract anyone now that he’s actually looking. Bars? Clubs? What if people don’t like him? What’s so special and unique about some boring human programmer? One day, while browsing through the apps… He found one he’d never heard of before.
Soulmatch.
No reviews. No ratings. Just a description: “Make a profile, feature your best portraits - showcase yourself and who you are. Inside, a massive assortment of all walks-of-life in our little underworld. If you’re interested, swipe right! If not, swipe left. They won’t know ~ If you match, engage in a conversation, plan a meet - become soulmatched with the demon of your dreams!”
No in-app purchases, no comments, no developer messages, no updates. Did it even exist? There was no one he knew to reach out to about it - nor a contact email or number. It was… Interesting to be based around the ‘underworld.’ Calling its users “demons”. Regardless of how strange it was - Johnny was ready for something different. Something new. A new chapter in his life that opened the many possibilities of dating. And so… He hit the download button.
Inside, however, Johnny would not find your average every day person. In fact, he wouldn’t find people at all… The app’s main userbase? The residents of Hell. Demons of all kinds – dark, deadly, vile, evil, psychotic or simply cute on the outside and devilish on the inside. What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is he is the one single human on the app.
—
Hello! Thank you for reading my RP prompt! In this RP, I am seeking someone capable of playing a variety of different characters to meet on the app while I GM and handle the story from Johnny’s perspective. I’ll be happy to play any and all NPCs, drive the plot forward and ensure we both have an equal amount of work. The RPs premise is, of course, the Hellish dating pool! All manner of demon are found in the app. They may have jobs like being assassins, or special important nobles/demon royalty, or your average Hellish citizen, etc. We can come up with them together, and feature the dates Johnny embarks on them with until he finds that special someone! What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is he is also involved in a much deeper story than he really knows…
I am seeking a Literate - Advanced Literate, active, creative partner that also enjoys speaking OOC. I find building a bond, discussing ideas and interacting lead to more fruitful partnerships. If you are interested in RPing with me, please DM me with an intro about yourself, why you’re interested in the plot, and a short writing sample + your Discord tag. The writing sample does not have to be long - I am purely just looking to see your English/writing skills. Thanks again for reading! Hope to see you in my DMs!

Well, I know, the amount of dens in 1.12 was massive. Since updating to 16.5 I have noticed that the amount of dens has reduced even more.
However, when starting a server to play with friends, I noticed that NONE simply did not appear. I walked for several meters and nothing.
It is worth mentioning that we are using Aternos. Oh, and also gyms don't have NPC's.
Is it some kind of bug? Do I need to configure before opening a world? Or is Aternos problematic with structure generation?

Life is good. Johnny Winters has been steadily growing his career as a software engineer and developer, programming and coding his way to the top of several different companies before finally being snagged on to the last one that promised him the highest pay. Whether he works in the fancy office, or from home, a steady six-figure salary keeps him more than afloat, and a cool, easy life of doing work that he loved ensured to keep him from falling into a depressive state. Because apart from his job being the only thing moving in his life, everything else has gone completely still. His social life? Nonexistent. He was a workaholic and only recently began to wind that down to appreciate life more. He was a 28 year old man - only two more years until he hits 30 and has been successful so far. But the time for youth and freedom was running thin, at least, in his mind. His friends from high school spread out all over the states, hell, some - the world. Relationships? When would he have the time? His focus was primarily on work. Although he’s fairly attractive, he’s unsure of how he would attract anyone now that he’s actually looking. Bars? Clubs? What if people don’t like him? What’s so special and unique about some boring human programmer? One day, while browsing through the apps… He found one he’d never heard of before.
Soulmatch.
No reviews. No ratings. Just a description: “Make a profile, feature your best portraits - showcase yourself and who you are. Inside, a massive assortment of all walks-of-life in our little underworld. If you’re interested, swipe right! If not, swipe left. They won’t know ~ If you match, engage in a conversation, plan a meet - become soulmatched with the demon of your dreams!”
No in-app purchases, no comments, no developer messages, no updates. Did it even exist? There was no one he knew to reach out to about it - nor a contact email or number. It was… Interesting to be based around the ‘underworld.’ Calling its users “demons”. Regardless of how strange it was - Johnny was ready for something different. Something new. A new chapter in his life that opened the many possibilities of dating. And so… He hit the download button.
Inside, however, Johnny would not find your average every day person. In fact, he wouldn’t find people at all… The app’s main userbase? The residents of Hell. Demons of all kinds – dark, deadly, vile, evil, psychotic or simply cute on the outside and devilish on the inside. What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is he is the one single human on the app.
—
Hello! Thank you for reading my RP prompt! In this RP, I am seeking someone capable of playing a variety of different characters to meet on the app while I GM and handle the story from Johnny’s perspective. I’ll be happy to play any and all NPCs, drive the plot forward and ensure we both have an equal amount of work. The RPs premise is, of course, the Hellish dating pool! All manner of demon are found in the app. They may have jobs like being assassins, or special important nobles/demon royalty, or your average Hellish citizen, etc. We can come up with them together, and feature the dates Johnny embarks on them with until he finds that special someone! What Johnny doesn’t know, however, is he is also involved in a much deeper story than he really knows…
I am seeking a Literate - Advanced Literate, active, creative partner that also enjoys speaking OOC. I find building a bond, discussing ideas and interacting lead to more fruitful partnerships. If you are interested in RPing with me, please DM me with an intro about yourself, why you’re interested in the plot, and a short writing sample + your Discord tag. The writing sample does not have to be long - I am purely just looking to see your English/writing skills. Thanks again for reading! Hope to see you in my DMs!

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.
(6)
Expectations of You:
I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

Brace yourselves, this is gonna be a long one.
Table of Contents
1…… The Main Goal
2…… What I’m Seeking
3…… Personality
4…… Interests
5…… Physical Characteristics (with pics)
6…… Expectations of You
7…… Living Situation
8…… Deal Breakers
9…… Closing Remarks
(1)
The Main Goal:
Well if you’re browsing this subreddit then much like me, you were alone this weekend and I’m sure you’d like to change that as much as me. I won’t lie, I am going through a rough part of my life right now. It’s difficult for me to find the energy for anything at the moment and I’m just really seeking affection in general, anything that will give me a push. I don’t want to be that person who brings everyone down but I could really use someone to talk to right now. I’d really like to find someone who’s similar to me so much to the point that we do everything together and talk about everything while not having to pretend to be interested. I want someone with whom we can mutually spew our emotions onto and have those feelings reciprocated. Not an emotional punching bag, but an emotional teddy bear to hug and cuddle until everything feels better as many times as we need. There’s people who I’m sure have told you the same, they’ll be there no matter how many times you need the support, no matter how many times the insecurities and bad thoughts come back but they don’t mean it. I will be the exception, I’m not so ignorant to think some nice words and tales of relating to you will magically forever heal whatever ails you then get mad when you seek the same support again. Mental ailments are rarely temporary and I don’t care about someone because they’re perfect, caring about someone means being there no matter how many times they need you to be. It doesn’t feel like a chore, it doesn’t get old, and it never will.
(2)
(2.a)
What I'm Seeking:
I will upfront let you know if I’m clicking better with someone else or if you’re the one, I’m not here to tread the sea of fish or keep my options open, I’m here for one singular person.
(2.b)
Relationship:
A relationship is difficult for me right now, it’s been nearly half a year since I got out of my last relationship and the reasons for it ending are partially responsible for how I’ve been feeling and why it’s so hard for me to seek the comfort I so desperately crave. I will tell you about it but for the sake of not treating the entirety of the internet as my therapist, it’ll be in private. I really need the comfort of intimacy and the warmth of someone who cares. I'm not going to feel better if I just sulk and don’t move on. This is my attempt to get better, I’ll admit I’m not great right now and I don’t expect you to be either. If we can help each other heal, then I’d be more than happy :) A relationship isn’t just being there for when someone’s at their best. Even if a relationship is hard at the moment, I do want a life partner and I don’t want to be alone. Things aren’t going to get easier without you so I don’t want to hesitate. I view my other as an equal, I don’t like categorizing us into specific roles. We take care of each other and treat each other how we like to be treated, whatever that is, it's as simple as that. I don't care if you're "successful" or not, living simple lives with our days filled with love is the ultimate measure of success to me.
(3)
Personality:
(3.a)
On the Surface:
As you can tell I can be rather… stoic but that’s largely due to my current stressors, I truthfully am goofy and fun loving but I just can’t find it in me right now. I want to return to that but without someone to light up my world it’s been difficult to just have fun and enjoy stuff. I’m definitely more introverted, you won’t catch me at any parties or really outside at all. I definitely prefer being home though the occasional outing is not out of the question and one day I’d like to travel to other countries because I think that kind of perspective is important.
(3.b)
The Core of My Being:
I like being a spectator to it all and if we bear witness to humanity burning or its miraculous recovery, I want to watch it with you. I enjoy watching humanity advance, less so when it devolves but I want to watch it to the end nonetheless. I’m both a realist and someone who lives with my head in the clouds dreaming of scenarios or worlds that don’t exist. I’m saying that I enjoy a good narrative and can suspend my disbelief to enjoy something but you won’t catch me refusing vaccines or ignoring blatant facts for the sake of some pseudo science or witch doctor’s remedy. I’m an atheist but I do not rule out existence after death, not because I’m agnostic but because due to the nature of potentially infinite time at some point after how many googol years with a googol amount of 0s after that, something’s bound to replicate your consciousness perfectly at some point. It’s actually a really fascinating topic I like talking about. If infinite time and infinite possibilities exist, does non existence exist? Though that’s an awfully existentially dreadful thought process considering the ramifications of infinite existence and infinite possibilities during said infinite existence. I would say I’m confidently left leaning and I don’t think I could truly get along with anyone right leaning, at least America’s definition of right leaning. Left and right seems to have just become; do people deserve to suffer or do they deserve to live good lives? Being political is not something I expected to become but how can you not be when crimes against human rights are being passed on a daily basis and at the end of the day, everything’s political. Oftentimes I imagine the perfect moment as relaxing with my significant other playing games or cuddling in a cold room under blankets.
I value that special someone above all of the existential thoughts, the bad of the world, the good of the world, they practically become my world. So many worries wash away when I’m with them. I don’t know if that’s the defense mechanism my brain created to not feel bad 24/7 but if it is, I’m currently without it.
(3.c)
Insecurities:
I talk of philosophy and politics here but really I spend most of my time just playing games, watching stuff, and trying to not be sleep deprived. I’m also nowhere near as well spoken, heck sometimes I feel like my speech is broken. I won’t claim to be something I’m not, I sit at home while I complain about the world doing nothing about it wishing I had someone here with me. I’m not noble nor do I really want to be, I have morals I uphold but much like most other hypocrites I acknowledge that my comfortable life is built on the suffering of others without doing anything about it. Why? My sleep problems? Am I depressed? Is that why I have no energy to do anything? Do I just think nothing I could do could help? I can’t nail it down myself, maybe it’s a mix of everything, maybe I’m just a bad person. I have always told myself that if I had wealth I would help people but if I get that kind of wealth will I just become a wealth hoarder who tries to justify my riches as something I earned rather than something given to me through incredibly lucky circumstances? If I do help people is it because I’m a good person or out of guilt? Will I die alone? I feel like I drive everyone away with my clinginess, I get paranoid often and need reassurance often. It’s something I want to work on, something I’ve been trying to work on. Hearing that someone cares about me just never gets old. I value self awareness even if it’s painful.
(3.d)
Socializing:
I’m definitely a socially anxious/awkward mess, especially around strangers. I do feel a large amount of anxiety in public, people can’t tell by looking at my face since I kind of go stone faced in an attempt to block everything out but yeah you’ll notice that if we go out in public. Growing up my pediatrician said I was probably autistic, never got a formal diagnosis so that’s just great. But yeah that explains why I can’t make eye contact with people, I kinda just stare at the ground and avoid their gaze at all costs. A lot of these social struggles go away to a great degree once I know you for a bit but yeah I apologize for how terrible I am at socializing at first. Don’t let my social struggles fool you though, I love cuddling and being close with my person.
(3.e)
Sexuality:
I am a heterosexual male, though I’m not very masculine like at all. I may even be a bit feminine sometimes. Not that I believe any activity or manner of acting belongs to a gender but I don’t know how else to describe it. I’m definitely super affectionate and love it when my partner is too. I am open to dating demi people but I do have a libido so I don't think asexual would work out.
(4)
Interests:
(4.a)
Video Games:
As stated before, I do spend a lot of my time playing video games. It’s been hard lately with me having no energy but I really do want to play more games and have a good time playing them with you! I primarily play on PC though I do have a switch. I’m primarily into platform fighters, roguelikes, open world, survival, and sandbox games. As for single player story games, I enjoy watching them through twitch or youtube but for the most part I don’t play them myself. I’d watch you play them though!
Here’s a list of games we can play:
-Minecraft (Java)
-Risk of Rain 2
-Gunfire Reborn
-Roboquest
-7 Days to Die
-Phasmophobia
-Rust
-Unturned
-Bloons TD 6
-Platform fighters: Super Smash Bros. Melee, Slap City, Multiversus, Flash Party, Fraymakers
Whatever you want to play I’ll give it a shot! I will say that League bores me to death but I’ll play it for you :) I try to avoid MMOs, not because I don’t like them but because of how addicted I can get to them. I enjoy learning games in-depth so MMOs can be a fast track to addiction.
I recently got Kerbal Space Program 2 and ehhh not really worth it right now but hopefully later it will be? I’m super excited for Tears of the Kingdom! In the far off future I’m excited for Rivals of Aether 2 which is a platform fighter releasing in 2024, let me know of your most anticipated releases and I’ll see if I could play them with you!
Also I never got into FPS games but I could totally see myself playing like CoD with you or Escape From Tarkov. Any FPS really, I’m down.
I am a fan of Pokemon but with how things have been lately I don’t know how long that will last. Pixelmon is a common Pokemon mod I play for Minecraft if you want to play that! Also if I say I want to play something with you I mean it but there are often times when no matter how much I want to I'm just drained and can do little more than lay in bed so please don't think I'm making an excuse.
(4.b)
Science:
I really enjoy keeping up with the latest advances in pretty much everything, it could be biology, technology, astronomy, anything! I love seeing progression and I love talking about it! Really I could go on and on about what I’m obsessing about that day. I particularly love technology, ask me for my laptop specs I dare you. When I was little I always wanted to be a scientist of any kind but then insomnia and fear of college stuff hit me like a truck aaaand that’s the end of that dream.
(4.c)
Anime:
You got me, I like anime but I’d like to think my tastes are benign.
Here’s some of my favorites I can list from the top of my head:
- To Your Eternity
- Vinland Saga
- Spice and Wolf
- Re:Zero
- Mob Psycho
- Dr. Stone
- Attack on Titan
- Spy x Family
- My Hero Academia
- Ranking of Kings
- Demon Slayer
Okay I can go on and on but I will say I don’t like pointless fan service and the spamming of cliche anime moments. I mostly enjoy action and anything well animated if it doesn’t have a potato story. Heck Demon Slayer could be my top 3 out of season 2’s animation alone. I don’t watch slice of life often or romance but I would with you!
(4.d)
Misc:
I’m not going to go on and on about the tiniest little things when the main ones are covered but I’ll watch pretty much any show with you and anything really. I like random youtube videos that explain some kind of lore or mystery, sometimes mini documentaries too.
As for food I looove sushi and I’m a sucker for fast food. Okay and candy, definitely candy.
I used to play tennis but haven’t really had the opportunity nor friends to play it with and I’m way too socially anxious to seek it out. Also I will say that when we move to something like discord I type waaaay more casually. I’m not going to expect long paragraphs back and forth like we’re writing English papers for each other, I do enjoy long conversations but seriously don’t worry about having to put the utmost effort into every response, I just like making good first impressions I guess.
(5)
(5.a)
My Physical Characteristics:
I’m 5’8 (172cm), 128 pounds (58kg), with curly brown hair and blue eyes. I like keeping my hair long in the winter and cutting it in the summer. I’m pretty slim in general so if you’re looking for someone large, that’s not me. I don’t work out but my work is pretty physical so at least I’m not totally inactive. I don’t have the urge to work out or gain muscle but I do want to maintain my slim figure so if I start losing control of that I’ll work out. I like to keep my face shaved because I don’t think I look good with a beard/mustache so if you’re into those I apologize. I have an average amount of body hair? I’d prefer to be completely shaved but it’s easy to lose motivation with that battle, if you prefer shaved then I’d have no problem complying. Anyways here’s what I look like: https://imgur.com/a/MZZgf2t
(5.b)
My Physical Preferences:
Having physical preferences makes me feel shallow, if I could make myself not have them I would but unfortunately that’s now how that works. I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than me and I don’t care if you weigh more or less than me. All I ask is that you’re slim-average weight. I would never ask for someone to be something I’m not. I don’t care about tattoos or piercings.
(6) Expectations of You: I am not looking for someone “exciting” or someone to “keep me on my toes” I’m not looking for someone to cater to my every whim or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re “boring” or if you aren’t “successful”. I know it’s a common thing for people to not want a “boring” relationship and to seek something argumentative or something with constant challenges but I just want to be with you. During the exciting times, the boring times, and everything in-between, all of it will be great with you! Maybe we do argue sometimes or maybe there will be challenges but that will never be something I purposefully seek out and I don’t want that to be something you seek out either. I will not play tricks on you and I will not play mind games, I expect the same from you. We all have personal measures of success we may or may not have lived up to but what I care about most is our commitment to each other. If we have each other we can get through tough times, near the ends of our lives I want us to look back and feel that this life together was worth more than anything. That’s not saying I want us to be haphazard, I don’t want us to make poor decisions for the sake of yolo and I want us to always be rational, especially with each other. I want you to be someone I can trust to make decisions and weigh the options with a level head, I’ll try my best to live up to the same for you. Most of all I want empathy, understanding, someone to feel the utmost comfort and trust in.
(7)
Living Situation:
Currently my life is pretty relaxed, I work 3 times a week as a night shift stocker. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with my roommate but we’re looking to move into someplace larger by the end of the year if everything works out. The internet is weirdly great for Ohio too like I have fiber and later this year we’re supposed to be getting dedicated fiber so that’s neat. I’m not attached to Ohio so the ultimate goal living location wise is probably moving to a country that won’t send you into a lifetime of dealing with the repercussions from one medical emergency.
(8)
Deal Breakers:
Might as well make this simple and make it a list.
- Anti-vaxxers
- Unironically believing astrology
- Right wingers
- Hard drugs (occasional 420 and alcohol is fine, may even join you)
- Wanting children, there was a time when I was younger when I wanted children but with the state of the word that’s a definite no and I feel like I wouldn’t be able to handle the stress. I’d love a stress free life with as much time with you as possible.
- Homophobic
- Transphobic
- Racist
- Super Religious
- Don’t be a bigot and don’t deny facts.
(9)
Closing Remarks:
Well you made it, I was thinking that finding someone I’d be willing to put a lifetime of effort into at least required this much effort. If I think of anything more I’ll update the post. Also about timezones, it really doesn’t matter where in the world you are. I don’t have a sleep schedule and I have most of the week off from work so it really doesn’t matter.
I request that in your response you do put effort into it, it doesn’t have to be anywhere near as long as this but at least enough so I know that you read this and enough about you so I know why you saw potential compatibility. I will seriously read all of it and respond the best I can. I do also request a pic included in your response (sfw please) or one soon after we start talking to prove identity, I’ll send identity proving pics too. As long as this post is up, you can send a reply!

I just received my dream job offer that would require me to move to another state. I have been at my current job for just over two months and just this week received a job-sponsored certification that takes 30+ hours of training.
I feel really bad leaving this job that has invested this much time into my professional development, but at the same time would like to accept this new position. Am I right to do this? I feel kinda guilty for doing so.

I originally just replied to the the post of the guy complaining about engineers being cold and no one wanting to hire graduates. I figured it's an old post now and it got removed by the mods anyway, but I'd like him/her or others feeling discouraged with finding a position in an engineering field to see what I have to say. (As someone who took a while to find a career of my own)
Response to "Why are engineers so cold and unsympathetic":
Why don't you list out what you're currently doing to try to get a career in this field instead of just complaining that you can't? You know, so people can give you advice. You're not hearing what you need to hear because you don't ask (especially when you just whine about it) and no one is going to tell you what you want to hear. I know plenty of people who went through college with me that never found a job in an engineering field. Just having a degree doesn't cut it. Companies don't hire degrees, they hire people. With that in mind, if you can't find a job, it's time to start looking at what you're doing wrong instead of assuming that companies just refuse to hire graduates.
1.) You're getting a "fuck you" attitude from people because you have a "fuck you" attitude. Read your post again and tell me that doesn't come off as entitled. Having a degree doesn't mean you just deserve to get a job with that degree. I spent tens of hours studying for each position I applied for. Treat interviewing like a full-time job. Engineering is a broad field. If you apply to a position you better know exactly what that position entails and be prepared to talk about it in technical terms and relate any experience you have from school, work, life to that position. 2.) Yeah, having internships helps. Students who have had internships have real world experience that hiring managers can drill into to determine if you're a good candidate. Without an internship, what are they supposed to ask you? How well you did group projects? Those people that are interviewing went through college too and they know that half of college is basic group projects that don't really mean anything in the real world. Having multiple internships is even better. It means that you're desirable as a worker because why else would you land multiple internships? Even if it's with the same company, it's proof that they wanted you back. 3.) Cutthroat? Yeah, there's a lot of jobs and an equally lot of people applying to those jobs, including other graduates like you. If people you went to school with are now working in an engineering field and you're still not, just saying it's cutthroat isn't a good excuse. You're vying for a professional job in a STEM field. Did you think you weren't going to face competition for employment? 4.) What stage of the process are you getting stuck at? Are you not even getting interviews? Time to update your resume or work on your skill-sets. Are you not making it past a recruiter? (You've got serious issues if you can't impress a recruiter, especially if they're the ones contacting you initially) It means that after talking to you, they don't even think that you're impressive enough of a candidate to bring to a hiring manager. That's seriously an issue and it means you're either so devoid of any engineering skills or knowledge that they can pick up on it OR you suck at talking to people or presenting yourself as a good candidate. Are you not getting a second interview after the initial interview? Maybe you need to coach yourself on common questions that hiring managers ask in that field or just basic interviewing skills. If you're making it through multiple interviews, you're at the point where it's just a matter of time before you find the right match, but you may need to be applying to more places than you think you are.
I spent an average of 10-20 hours preparing for each position I applied for once I got an interview date scheduled. I watched countless youtube videos of recruiters talking about what they're looking for, hiring managers talking about what they're looking for, coaching myself on questions that I got asked in previous interviews, etc. I'd review the theory behind common skills required for the position I was applying for so that I could talk about it in depth if it came up. I made sure that I could explain everything on my resume, that I could competently talk about what I did during my internships and group projects. I hate interviewing and I don't consider myself a good public speaker, so if you're like me, this isn't optional, you need to be practicing interviewing skills.
Just a caveat, but I did eventually find an amazing position with a great company that I love. Sure, it's a high stress career, but I earn it every day and I've been rewarded for my efforts along the way and I work with an amazing engineering team and an equally amazing manager. In saying that, I did not have a job lined up when I graduated because of personal issues getting in the way at the time. I was delivering pizza, interviewing for engineering positions on my days off, and I hated my life at the time. (There is nothing wrong with delivering pizza, a job is a job and I'm not above it, but it obviously wasn't what I wanted.) While being a pizza delivery driver after college, I remember getting past a second interview, being brought in to a company headquarters, and given a practical knowledge exam where I was grilled on theory and actual specifics of what I'd be doing in that position. I left feeling like I did well, but I did not get the job. I was devastated at the time because I felt like I was so close, but the dream was once again gone and it was back to delivering pizzas the next day. The starting terms of that position was that I was going to join furloughed and the pay was only $54,000 salaried. (This was in the middle of the pandemic) I look back now and laugh that it's one of the best things that's happened to me because of where I am now in my career and life. So if you're feeling discouraged, the only thing you can do is to literally not give up.
Everyone in an engineering career has had a different experience. This is just my experience shared with you. Others may disagree or have their own advice, feel free to share in the comments. I can guarantee you though, that complaining on reddit to a bunch of engineers isn't going to help you get a job. A bunch of engineers in various stages of their career and life that are sitting on valuable advice that could help you if you'd only ask instead of complain.

I’m sorry if this is formatted incorrectly or if I leave out details to not let myself be found out
Back in 05, during undergrad, I met this absolutely wonderful person while we were both RAs in our respective dormitories. For two years we dated on and off and we just somehow couldn’t fully connect. Something always felt off with her. She’d mssg me super amazing things like how amazing I am and such ( how would this not sound amazing to somebody)? Although when in person she’d act strange and sort of aloof.
I always chalked it up to immaturity or being shy. For two years we’d meet up every now and again and sleep together and she’d rush off. I was young so I didn’t want to play that jealousy card and figured she may also just want it to stay casual. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I felt insanely lucky to even have the opportunity to be around someone who I found so absolutely beautiful. (She had the most perfect skin and piercing blue eyes that I still see in my dreams).
Years would pass after we “ended things” and never saw her again. But every year or so she’d mssg me on fb just to see or let me know she somehow thought of me. Every time all these years I’d also randomly just go back to those few date night that we shared. So it was kind of great to know she somehow thought of me. ( I say this because to me, I’m absolutely a ridiculously hideous man compared to how stunning she is. I’m a 3 compared to her being a literal 10. She was absolutely funny when she opened up and that would make me feel like I was the only one on the earth being able to even sit beside her).
Fast forward two weeks ago and a random mssg popped up on my fb and sure as day it’s her. She indicated that she had another dream about me and that she had to let me know. This time however, I’m currently in a relationship and live with my partner (bought a house together. Even moved to Texas from the Midwest.).
Since I didn’t think anything of it and figured she’d just make her comment and disappear like she always did, I kept the conversation going. Little by little she began stating how she still thinks about why we never ended up together (this was news to me as I always thought she just didn’t want to be with me completely). While interacting I find out she is neurodivergent so she mentions that perhaps while we were together that she maybe thinks that’s why she always seemed to be “off” and why we didn’t fully “connect”. ( I know very little of this so I have no proof and am not judging this comment from her)
This weekend she openly admits she is still in love with me and I was taken back because I basically left all of this behind assuming I just wasn’t enough. She is married with children yet she told me this.
I could never think of even remotely wanting this to be a thing, but I’m mostly just needing to vent because this was so big to me as a 21 year old and now being 40 it’s thrown a huge curve ball at me. I’d never follow through with this or even placate the idea.
I guess my question is, has anyone ever been in this situation and how does your world not shatter knowing a massive what if? My god my brain is running thousand of miles an hour of all those moments I still remember about her. But I don’t want them anymore. How I wish back then it could have been.
I have no one on earth I could talk to about this. And I hate it.
Edit: I will absolutely state I don’t want to be with this person. I never in my wildest dreams think someone would ever openly admit something like this to me. Especially from almost 20 years ago. I must end it. Before this gets worse or blows up to ruin what I have.

RedditStory-GPT
In my nineteenth year, the year 2113, my life was far from what anyone in the 20th century would've called normal. Instead of preparing for college or settling into a traditional job, I spent my days amidst an ocean of wires, chips, tools, and my only companions, a pair of highly advanced robot assistants - Axiom and Byte.
Axiom, my trusty mechanical pal, was equipped with an impressive range of functionalities, programmed to assist me in any physical task. Byte, on the other hand, was my digital confidant. Its cutting-edge AI algorithms were able to decipher codes, hack into databases, and process enormous amounts of data in a blink of an eye.
As a young inventor, my time was dedicated to exploring alien technology, which humanity had stumbled upon just a decade earlier. This technology was my obsession, my calling. It was advanced, complex, a labyrinth of circuits and programming, different from anything humans had ever created.
One day, a discovery changed our lives. A seemingly ordinary piece of alien tech revealed its true nature. It was a communication device, a gateway to other galaxies, other civilizations. This was an unimaginable breakthrough, an open door to an infinite expanse of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding of the universe beyond our own.
With Axiom and Byte by my side, we set to work. Days turned into nights, and nights into days, as we worked tirelessly to unlock the secrets of the alien communication device. With every passing moment, every code deciphered, we were drawing closer to achieving the impossible - establishing a line of communication with extraterrestrial life.
One fateful day, after countless hours of hard work and an endless sea of coffee, Byte managed to crack the final code. The device sprung to life, its surface pulsating with alien symbols. Axiom, Byte, and I held our collective breath, as an alien voice filled our small lab, speaking in a language never before heard by human ears. Byte quickly processed the language, converting it into English.
Over the next few weeks, we uncovered a trove of knowledge from the device. We learnt about new energy sources, advanced medicine, and a universe full of diverse life forms. We realized we were not alone, but just a tiny part of a vast, interconnected cosmic community.
Looking back from the perspective of my twenty-nine-year-old self, I see that my nineteenth year was the most transformative. I was not just a young inventor anymore, I was a cosmic explorer, guided by my two robotic friends, exploring the secrets of the universe from my own small lab. We had ventured into an unknown territory, and what we discovered was far beyond our wildest dreams.
As I continue my exploration, I look back at those days with a sense of awe and wonder. Our discovery didn't just change my life, it changed the world, opening up infinite possibilities for humanity. And as I embark on the next phase of this journey, I carry with me the spirit of that nineteen-year-old inventor, driven by an insatiable curiosity and the desire to explore the universe beyond the stars.