Wow lag in azure span

[25M] [Chat] Looking for EU Digital Penpal Before Reddit Blackout

2023.06.10 23:32 PreussenEwige [25M] [Chat] Looking for EU Digital Penpal Before Reddit Blackout

Hey! I am a very energetic ENFP from America and soon-to-be exchange student in Germany! I am looking for some EU based penpals :). I am looking to get a master degree in Germany but have nt decided where.
As you can probably tell, I am quite the Germanophile, but I love all countries! Add me and tell me about yours :)
Interests include:
I am also open to language exchange :) I speak English, German, and just started learning Italian!
Add me for 24/7 high energy voice chat and my undying loyalty!

submitted by PreussenEwige to MeetPeople [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:31 diamgod606 The Seafoam Tempest, an analogue chorus / vibrato with digital control

The Seafoam Tempest, an analogue chorus / vibrato with digital control submitted by diamgod606 to diypedals [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:31 Taurideum Lag after changing performance overlay view

So I'm not sure why but im getting weird stutters/lag when I change the performance overlay view when I'm in game. According to the graph I shouldnt be lagging (stable MS and no spikes) but it seems to me like the refresh rate goes all weird or something (like that it's not 60 hz anymore, while the overlay says that it is 60hz). Anyone else has this problem or knows what to do to fix it? I have this issue on multiple games and even on games that aren't demanding at all.
Edit: actually scratch that, it seems that I'm starting to lag after a short while when I'm in the game....
submitted by Taurideum to SteamDeck [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:29 B3ttor Are all 1.4 Displayport cables equally good ?

Hi, I would just like to ask because I need to buy 3xDisplayport cables. Two for gaming and one for photo editing. Im puzzled are the 1.4 displayport cables equal in specifications and for use. I currently need for gaming 1440p 240Hz, 1080p 360Hz and one for 1440p 60Hz photo editing. Also does the length matter for quality and stability for example between 1-2 or 3meter cable ? I currently need 2 or 3 meters.
So is there a difference for my use with the following im looking at ? Seems like every manufacturer has some difference in specs.
Akasa 8K DisplayPort 1.4 (2 meters)
HBR3, 32.4 Gbps, [email protected], [email protected], [email protected]


InLine DisplayPort 1.4
7680 x 4320 (UHD-II / FUHD) 30 Hz, RGB / 4: 4: 4 and 60 Hz, RGB / 4: 2: 0 or DSC
3840 x 2160 (UHD) 120 Hz, RGB / 4: 4: 4, 8-bit, HDR OFF
3840 x 2160 (UHD) 120 Hz:, RGB / 4: 2: 2, 12-bit, HDR ON
3840 x 2160 (UHD) 60 Hz, RGB / 4: 4: 4, 12-bit, HDR ON
1920 x 1080 (FHD)
1280 x 720 (HD)

Club 3D DisplayPort 1.4
- HBR3, 32,4 Gbps
- Display Stream Compression (DSC) 1.2
- Forward Error Correction
- 32 Inline Audio Channel
- max. 8K @ 60Hz resolution

DeLock DisplayPort
• Connectors:
1 x DisplayPort male >
1 x DisplayPort male angled
• DisplayPort 1.4 specification
• Downwards compatible to DisplayPort 1.3, 1.2 and 1.1
• Pin 20 not connected
• Cable gauge: 28 AWG
• Cable diameter: ca. 7 mm
• Copper conductor
• Triple shielded cable
• Contacts gold-plated
• Transmission of audio and video signals
• Data transfer rate up to 32.4 Gb/s
• Resolution up to:
Display with DSC support:
7680 x 4320 i 60 Hz
5120 x 2880 i 120 Hz
3840 x 2160 i 240 Hz
Display without DSC support:
7680 x 4320 i 30 Hz
5120 x 2880 i 60 Hz
3840 x 2160 i 120 Hz
(depending on the system and the connected hardware)
• Supports Display Stream Compression 1.2 (DSC)
• Supports HDR (High Dynamic Range)
• Supports HDCP 1.4 and 2.3
• Supports HBR3 (8.1 Gbps) data rate
• Up to 32 audio channels for speakers
• Up to 1536 kHz audio sampling rate
• Supports colour sampling in 4:4:4, 4:2:2 and 4:2:0 format
• Colour: black
• Length incl. connectors: ca. 2 m
Are the DSC and Forward error correction and 32 inline audio channels something that are in every 1.4 displayport cable, and are they better or worse for gaming, read somewhere that the DSC might cause some sort of lag while gaming ?
submitted by B3ttor to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:29 WillfullyObese WELCOME TO OUR DISCORD SERVER 1.2K + MEMBERS!!!!

https://discord.gg/GHKbqMFpGW
Hey there,
We are trying to build a safe and secure community that can help in the following:
✅ Students lagging behind and are trying to catch up with the others
✅ College working students who have got little time to work on their classes.
✅ Students struggling to understand concepts
✅ Students who literally hate homework
Join the server and start connecting with other students and educators across the globe!
Welcome 🙏
submitted by WillfullyObese to uvic [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:28 Yoskaldyr Slow performance of virtio-gl in linux guests

Is it possible to achieve a decent performance (without lagging) using virtio-gl drivers in linux guests?
GPU passthrough doesn't work for me - I need suspend mode on my host.
submitted by Yoskaldyr to VFIO [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:28 SeaworthinessNew4295 Before the car (1910 prior), what was the population/population density required to support a street car line in a given area?

My small home town built a streetcar line in 1902 with a population of 2,000 people. It had an urban area with "streetcar suburbs" spanning no more than a half mile radius around the town centedowntown. Population peaked by 1920 at 3,500 people, population declined by 10% by 1930, street cars were gone by 1940.
Personally, I find it hard to believe a town so small could have ever supported a private street car line for four decades, even before the car.
submitted by SeaworthinessNew4295 to urbandesign [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:28 Adomascx 1000ms lag spikes every 10 seconds

Hey all,
Recently I've run into a problem where my internet got very laggy, even on ethernet. My average ping has become 250ms, although most annoyingly I started experiencing very periodic lag spikes every 10 seconds on the dot. These spikes range from 500ms all the way to 10 full seconds, although usually about 1000ms. I genuinely have no clue what could be doing this to my internet as this happens event when all devices are disconnected (which shouldn't change anything since I'm using ethernet).
If it helps, the internet I'm using is just connected to a "portable" router which connects to a "station" about a block away. Despite this, the internet is WAY worse than my phone on mobile data, which genuinely made me consider connecting my router to it somehow. Any help would be greatly appreciated, as using internet in these conditions is actually unbearable.
submitted by Adomascx to techsupport [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:27 AutoModerator [Genkicourses.site] ✔️Brandi Mowles – Conversion For Clients ✔️ Full Course Download

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Get the course here: [Genkicourses.site] ✔️Brandi Mowles – Conversion For Clients ✔️ Full Course Download
https://preview.redd.it/gsey9cj05x4b1.jpg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=069f3123097acc1ad22c1dcac0ce2087ce9e722d

Courses proof (screenshots for example, or 1 free sample video from the course) are available upon demand, simply Contact us here
Introducing the Ultimate Program for High-Converting Facebook and Instagram Ads
A comprehensive, step-by-step program that not only teaches you how to create high-converting Facebook and Instagram ads (even if you’ve never run a Facebook ad before) but also shows you how to get clients and wow them with top-notch service.
What You Get:
  • Module 1: So You Want To Be An Ads Manager
  • Module 2: Funnels 101
  • Module 3: The Pixel
  • Module 4: Audiences & Targeting
  • Module 5: Ad Creative
  • Module 6: Ad Copy
  • Module 7: Setting Up A Campaign
  • Module 8: Troubleshooting
  • Module 9: Scaling
  • Module 10: TEMPLATE LIBRARY
  • Bonuses
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By the end of this program, you will:
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Join us today and unlock the potential of Facebook and Instagram ads with this ultimate program!
submitted by AutoModerator to GenkiCourses_Cheapest [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:26 Brilliant-Economy-76 Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival [Anarchy] [Vanilla] {1.19.3} {Java} {No Rules}

- Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival -
-> avas.cc <-
AVAS stands for Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival. The server tries to get as close to the vanilla Minecraft experience as possible, with no moderation and minimal modification. Hacking, griefing, and exploiting are all allowed and encouraged.
The server will update to the latest versions when they are available but is still accessible from clients back to 1.9. All the features available in the vanilla version are also available on the server. We do not fix vanilla bugs and exploits if they are in the current version of the game and do not affect the stability of the server. We do not punish players for using cheats and griefing. Our plugins are only used for server maintenance.
IP: avas.cc
Version: 1.19.3 (joinable from 1.9)
Server features:
- Map: October 2020
- Complete freedom to use the flight and movement modules, unlike most other anarchy servers.
- Unique dupe system. When you vote for AVAS, you get points which can be used to dupe a held item stack.
- Active Discord community with lots of "friendly" players.
- No "Pay to win". Donors receive only cosmetics that do not affect gameplay.
Server limitations:
- Movement speed is limited to 40 blocks per second in the Overworld and 36 blocks per second in the Nether Roof to avoid filling up server disk space and lagging the server when moving fast.
- You cannot destroy indestructible blocks. We want the End to be open and the bedrock to be out of circulation since those things are not vanilla.
- Written book size is limited to mitigate book bans.
- VPN use is prohibited for non-donors.
Exploits:
You are allowed to abuse any exploit you can find (except godmode and block breaking). If a dupe works in the vanilla release of the game, it will almost certainly work here. We do our best to keep all vanilla exploits unpatched for as long as they are available in the latest official release of Minecraft. We use Paper for stability, so to prevent unwanted exploit patches, we only update when necessary. We also try to unpatch any Paper-specific patches that are unpatched by Mojang, but if there's a crucial update to Paper and it patches a vanilla exploit, that's just the way it is.
Hacks:
Do whatever you can get to work. We don't mess with anything besides speed hacks, and that's only when TPS is already bad.

If you want to build a big base, blow up someone else's base, create your own empire or kill new players, create map-art or just be a toxic person, try avas.cc.
The server version is 1.19.3, however you can play on clients as far back as 1.9. Please note that when playing on clients running versions earlier than 1.17, world height may not work properly.
Links:
Website: https://avas.cc/
Discord: https://avas.cc/discord
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/AVAS/
Wiki: https://avas.wiki/
Specs:
- AMD Ryzen™ 9 5950X - 128 GB DDR4 ECC - 16 TB HDD - Dedicated hardware
submitted by Brilliant-Economy-76 to MinecraftBillboard [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:25 WillfullyObese WELCOME TO OUR DISCORD SERVER 1.2K + MEMBERS!!!!

https://discord.gg/GHKbqMFpGW
Hey there,
We are trying to build a safe and secure community that can help in the following:
✅ Students lagging behind and are trying to catch up with the others
✅ College working students who have got little time to work on their classes.
✅ Students struggling to understand concepts
✅ Students who literally hate homework
Join the server and start connecting with other students and educators across the globe!
Welcome 🙏
submitted by WillfullyObese to UniUK [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:25 StumpGrnder Thanks Sonos for the price cut and Best Buy for the open box deals

Went from a hohum Samsung sound bar with sub (pissed off everyone by me always trying multiple adjustments to try and get some movies speech to be clear) to an open box Arc with open box Sub gen3 and a pair of symphonic bookshelfs in the rear (bought on sale at IKEA). Wow I’m happy for the money/value. First TV sound I’ve had that is crystal clear to me. I haven’t trueplayed it yet, I wanted to watch a movie first then trueplay it and rewatch. Top Gun sounded excellent!
submitted by StumpGrnder to sonos [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:25 Brilliant-Economy-76 Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival [Anarchy] [Vanilla] {1.19.3} {Java} {No Rules}

- Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival -
-> avas.cc <-
AVAS stands for Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival. The server tries to get as close to the vanilla Minecraft experience as possible, with no moderation and minimal modification. Hacking, griefing, and exploiting are all allowed and encouraged.
The server will update to the latest versions when they are available but is still accessible from clients back to 1.9. All the features available in the vanilla version are also available on the server. We do not fix vanilla bugs and exploits if they are in the current version of the game and do not affect the stability of the server. We do not punish players for using cheats and griefing. Our plugins are only used for server maintenance.
IP: avas.cc
Version: 1.19.3 (joinable from 1.9)
Server features:
- Map: October 2020
- Complete freedom to use the flight and movement modules, unlike most other anarchy servers.
- Unique dupe system. When you vote for AVAS, you get points which can be used to dupe a held item stack.
- Active Discord community with lots of "friendly" players.
- No "Pay to win". Donors receive only cosmetics that do not affect gameplay.
Server limitations:
- Movement speed is limited to 40 blocks per second in the Overworld and 36 blocks per second in the Nether Roof to avoid filling up server disk space and lagging the server when moving fast.
- You cannot destroy indestructible blocks. We want the End to be open and the bedrock to be out of circulation since those things are not vanilla.
- Written book size is limited to mitigate book bans.
- VPN use is prohibited for non-donors.
Exploits:
You are allowed to abuse any exploit you can find (except godmode and block breaking). If a dupe works in the vanilla release of the game, it will almost certainly work here. We do our best to keep all vanilla exploits unpatched for as long as they are available in the latest official release of Minecraft. We use Paper for stability, so to prevent unwanted exploit patches, we only update when necessary. We also try to unpatch any Paper-specific patches that are unpatched by Mojang, but if there's a crucial update to Paper and it patches a vanilla exploit, that's just the way it is.
Hacks:
Do whatever you can get to work. We don't mess with anything besides speed hacks, and that's only when TPS is already bad.

If you want to build a big base, blow up someone else's base, create your own empire or kill new players, create map-art or just be a toxic person, try avas.cc.
The server version is 1.19.3, however you can play on clients as far back as 1.9. Please note that when playing on clients running versions earlier than 1.17, world height may not work properly.
Links:
Website: https://avas.cc/
Discord: https://avas.cc/discord
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/AVAS/
Wiki: https://avas.wiki/
Specs:
- AMD Ryzen™ 9 5950X - 128 GB DDR4 ECC - 16 TB HDD - Dedicated hardware
submitted by Brilliant-Economy-76 to MinecraftServerFinder [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:25 Mochinu_MMA What Ranked Distribution is Vs. What it should be (TL;DR)

What Ranked Distribution is Vs. What it should be (TL;DR)
Dears,
I'm not a good player, which is why I'm posting this here. I would like to hear the opinion of more seasoned players. I've always found ranking interesting regardless of what game I've played.
Season 17
Season 11
I've noticed most ,if not all seasons, have groupings of players at a certain rank, which seems unhealthy/flawed. This is what it should look like instead:

SC2
More Detailed Info
SC2 Ranked History Distribution
Obviously, they can play around with the percentages, amount of ranks, and the number of top players they have for the highest rank.
The idea is that each rank has a set number of players that changes based on the number of people that play ranked. If a player from Silver moves to Gold then the lowest MMR player from Gold is demoted to Silver. You are only rewarded at the end of the season based on your rank at that time, which gives players an incentive to keep playing.
Additionally, there should be numerous divisions within each League, with each division being composed of up to 100 players. Each of these divisions should have a leaderboard that you can access in-game that shows players' names, their finish in the last five games, and their most played legend. I think it will make progression much more meaningful, fun, and competitive. It also gives the best players a lot of exposure.
https://preview.redd.it/577tr8jyb95b1.png?width=1219&format=png&auto=webp&s=6855aac15e35edf2b88a1f7b6f3dc867d04d39d7
You can also have separate leaderboards and progression for solo queuing with randoms, 2 stacks in trios, 3 stack in trios and the same with duos.
https://preview.redd.it/l2giaqzqc95b1.png?width=1256&format=png&auto=webp&s=da9967c532dfb7329a2c017eadbd1d12dec80513
Of course you cannot just copy pasta the SC2 system in Apex, but it feels like a solid foundation to work from. I can write a lot more about this, but it's already too long for today's attention span. I am curious to hear your thoughts.
Stay safe my friends.
submitted by Mochinu_MMA to CompetitiveApex [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:24 ShoyuPorkRamen Alvarez is the first player in football history to win the world cup and europian treble in the same season

in a span of 7 months, Julian Alvarez won the world cup, premier league, fa cup, and champions league.
submitted by ShoyuPorkRamen to MCFC [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:24 HylianMono am fixd :)

am fixd :) submitted by HylianMono to youngpeopleyoutube [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:24 inakura1234321 HC Addon Alternatives

Hello! This is Yazpad (one of the hc addon devs). With the upcoming HC servers approaching, I just wanted to share a couple alternatives to the current Hardcore addon, especially for those interested in following their own or no ruleset.

Hardcore Unlocked

https://legacy.curseforge.com/wow/addons/hardcore-unlocked
A modification of the Hardcore addon which allows for custom (or no) rulesets. In lieu of verification features, this variant focuses on providing guard rails for a custom challenge and displays your ruleset to others. This addon includes faction-wide or guild death alerts, the deathlog, and achievements in addition to the custom ruleset. Check this out if you

Deathlog

https://legacy.curseforge.com/wow/addons/deathlog
An extended deathlog addon (still standalone), which lots of customizations for death alerts and the death log. It also comes with statistics on ~100k HC player deaths, and some widgets that use those statistics, like a heatmap overlay and tooltip information. Check this out if you
NOTE: You can view the stats offline here https://github.com/aaronma37/Deathlog/wiki, where you can find images and excerpts for heatmaps, graphs, and comparisons. You can run the Deathlog addon alongside the Hardcore Unlocked or the Hardcore addon.
If there is interest, I might support a "Headless" version, which will just be bare bones faction-wide death alerts.
submitted by inakura1234321 to wowhardcore [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:23 Brilliant-Economy-76 Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival [Anarchy] [Vanilla] {1.19.3} {Java} {No Rules}

- Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival -
-> avas.cc <-
AVAS stands for Absolute Vanilla Anarchy Survival. The server tries to get as close to the vanilla Minecraft experience as possible, with no moderation and minimal modification. Hacking, griefing, and exploiting are all allowed and encouraged.
The server will update to the latest versions when they are available but is still accessible from clients back to 1.9. All the features available in the vanilla version are also available on the server. We do not fix vanilla bugs and exploits if they are in the current version of the game and do not affect the stability of the server. We do not punish players for using cheats and griefing. Our plugins are only used for server maintenance.
IP: avas.cc
Version: 1.19.3 (joinable from 1.9)
Server features:
- Map: October 2020
- Complete freedom to use the flight and movement modules, unlike most other anarchy servers.
- Unique dupe system. When you vote for AVAS, you get points which can be used to dupe a held item stack.
- Active Discord community with lots of "friendly" players.
- No "Pay to win". Donors receive only cosmetics that do not affect gameplay.
Server limitations:
- Movement speed is limited to 40 blocks per second in the Overworld and 36 blocks per second in the Nether Roof to avoid filling up server disk space and lagging the server when moving fast.
- You cannot destroy indestructible blocks. We want the End to be open and the bedrock to be out of circulation since those things are not vanilla.
- Written book size is limited to mitigate book bans.
- VPN use is prohibited for non-donors.
Exploits:
You are allowed to abuse any exploit you can find (except godmode and block breaking). If a dupe works in the vanilla release of the game, it will almost certainly work here. We do our best to keep all vanilla exploits unpatched for as long as they are available in the latest official release of Minecraft. We use Paper for stability, so to prevent unwanted exploit patches, we only update when necessary. We also try to unpatch any Paper-specific patches that are unpatched by Mojang, but if there's a crucial update to Paper and it patches a vanilla exploit, that's just the way it is.
Hacks:
Do whatever you can get to work. We don't mess with anything besides speed hacks, and that's only when TPS is already bad.

If you want to build a big base, blow up someone else's base, create your own empire or kill new players, create map-art or just be a toxic person, try avas.cc.
The server version is 1.19.3, however you can play on clients as far back as 1.9. Please note that when playing on clients running versions earlier than 1.17, world height may not work properly.
Links:
Website: https://avas.cc/
Discord: https://avas.cc/discord
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/AVAS/
Wiki: https://avas.wiki/
Specs:
- AMD Ryzen™ 9 5950X - 128 GB DDR4 ECC - 16 TB HDD - Dedicated hardware
submitted by Brilliant-Economy-76 to MinecraftServer [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:23 WillfullyObese WELCOME TO OUR DISCORD SERVER +1.2K MEMBERS!!!!

https://discord.gg/GHKbqMFpGW
Hey there,
We are trying to build a safe and secure community that can help in the following:
✅ Students lagging behind and are trying to catch up with the others
✅ College working students who have got little time to work on their classes.
✅ Students struggling to understand concepts
✅ Students who literally hate homework
Join the server and start connecting with other students and educators across the globe!
Welcome 🙏
submitted by WillfullyObese to unimelb [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:23 inakura1234321 HC Addon Alternatives

Hello! This is Yazpad (one of the hc addon devs). With the upcoming HC servers approaching, I just wanted to share a couple alternatives to the current Hardcore addon, especially for those interested in following their own or no ruleset.

Hardcore Unlocked

https://legacy.curseforge.com/wow/addons/hardcore-unlocked
A modification of the Hardcore addon which allows for custom (or no) rulesets. In lieu of verification features, this variant focuses on providing guard rails for a custom challenge and displays your ruleset to others. This addon includes faction-wide or guild death alerts, the deathlog, and achievements in addition to the custom ruleset. Check this out if you

Deathlog

https://legacy.curseforge.com/wow/addons/deathlog
An extended deathlog addon (still standalone), which lots of customizations for death alerts and the death log. It also comes with statistics on ~100k HC player deaths, and some widgets that use those statistics, like a heatmap overlay and tooltip information. Check this out if you
NOTE: You can view the stats offline here https://github.com/aaronma37/Deathlog/wiki, where you can find images and excerpts for heatmaps, graphs, and comparisons. You can run the Deathlog addon alongside the Hardcore Unlocked or the Hardcore addon.
If there is interest, I might support a "Headless" version, which will just be bare bones faction-wide death alerts.
submitted by inakura1234321 to classicwow [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:19 exzentriker12 Why don't you just break up? Oh really, so easy? lol

if you live in a dead bed for 20 years, it has changed you so much.
They say break up. Your entire life is changed to partnership. Of course I'm happy for everyone who made it and is happy. But i also know relationships that have broken up, 40 - 50 years old and no new good relationship came.
Just separate - but we are not more the human as before the 20 years DB. Our self-estemm has suffered, we are hurt, suspicious of love. Wow perfect conditions for a new love. I'm not talking about simple sex. I talking about dreaming....before......not even talked about financial, house, children......and the lack of strenght
submitted by exzentriker12 to DeadBedrooms [link] [comments]


2023.06.10 23:17 nervous_Observer How coming out 3 years ago made me boring as hell.

I came out as demisexual pan romantic 2020 April 6th this is when I accepted myself and told the ones closest to me not everybody knows.
In fact I purely made this Reddit account to speak about my sexuality.
I am a disabled woman you see, I was pushed my whole life to be good in school the only thing I'm really able to do by myself or so said my family. So I did my best and people thought I liked school I didn't I never did. Liking school versus my own house is liking the rec center over liking the babysitter that doesn't let you do anything it's a pretty easy choice. I was allowed to do more in school so I liked being there and I got to escape my family who annoyed the crap out of me at times. After doing my all in school and graduating in the top 10%. There was really nothing left for me I didn't want to go to college because the thought of more school made me want to shoot myself cuz I'm not gifted academically I just work my fucking ass off. But working at something you don't like even if it's the lesser of two evils it still drains you. It took me years to convince my family then what they thought I liked I did not. With not going to school and not being accepted for any job I clung to dating cuz I was now allowed to talk to people online a gift for now being a legal adult. After being emotionally beat up and used prayed upon by guys on the internet which gave me nightmares.
I had gone from thinking I'm going to meet my prince charming and he's going to take me away from here to if I act the right way a guy is going to take me away from my parents and I could finally start acting like an actual adult instead only being an adult legally.
That was when I met my last boyfriend. He made me feel like he actually saw me like I was a real person and I could tell him stuff that I was afraid to say as a black woman it helped cuz he was a black man who went through all this stuff (pansexual) I loved him so deeply dearly. I was ferociously attracted to him for the first time ever it wasn't just a way it'll happen or if I just wait he'll fall in love with me all feel safe and I'll feel it right?
Sexual attraction coupled with the fact that he was such an interesting person was a whirlwind for me and that's when I knew that this is what it feels like. Do other people feel this all the time? And it led me on research that lasted even after we broke up
There's a lot more to that relationship even after we broke up. I find myself always going into the whole spiel and I don't need to.
the point is from the moment I discovered who I really am and decided I was going to try to be as authentic as possible, after I got over the initial shock of realizing I don't know who the fuck I am because I've been wearing a mask for so long I realized I'm fucking boring as hell!
Let me explain I had always been called the g word because I never hesitated to call women pretty but I never really felt anything behind that. And the only reason why I was obsessed with sex is because I thought it was an adult thing and adult things were cool to a fresh teenager and a teenager like me. Considering I was always treated as a child. children don't talk about sex and a girl who's gay wouldn't talk about having sex with guys a lot so that's how I got my reputation of being all talk and really wanting to have sex. This masking behavior of mine lead to a backlash with my mother and grandmother which gave me trauma that's too much to get into right now.
Even with this trauma making me dial down that mask people still knew me as that perverted person and it made me feel like that was the only interesting thing about me. That as well as making interesting things with my hobby of crochet and knitting.
So just to recap and get all the contacts to what was happening in my life.
Graduated with honors because of my family. I myself hated school with a burning passion I was allowed to talk to people on the internet but because I am a woman most of my interactions were with guys who wanted to bang me. And to just add a little bit more at the end of my junior year me and my immediate family moved three states over so we knew no one so I had no friends and no familiar surroundings. Talking to people online became my only social interaction with people my own freaking age after graduation.
I had finally become burnt out with trying to date and at least find a useful guy to move in with so I could feel more like an adult. I even tried to be an SW because my family would always joke about doing it constantly so I actually tried and then my mother was ashamed and everyone was uncomfortable. But I'm not ashamed and I'd still do it if I could do it safely and actually make money.
It felt like even people were putting pressure on me for my hobbies
And this now brings me to the reason I think I'm boring as hell and why I don't have many friends.
Now I expressly don't talk about relationships because now I know I can't get anything out of them not a house not money not even an orgasm is guaranteed so I at least want to pick someone I like talking to this person comes around rarely and usually they find out I'm boring and stop talking to me. Actually I feel like they want to talk about such a niche topic that something about it just feels hollow but even still.
With relationships out there goes some of the only reasons I think my family thought I was funny or interesting. I have no more dirty jokes or funny stories to tell because not only does Demi repel most people the people it doesn't don't seem to be the right fit for me either.
On to my hobbies I don't really have things I like. I have passions meaning I'm obsessed with everything I dare take interest in. besides stuff that's human nature.
I also forgot to mention around this time I got the library app Libby and hoopla. I always had a passion for books they seemed forbidden intangible to me because of issues with my disability. I always had a hard time reading and it was always a chore to get access to books I could never do it independently. so with these two apps I soon became a person who read. I read most everything from the latest books to very old books. Half the time when I knew a TV show or movie was coming out based on a book I just read the book instead. No one of my family thought I was pretentious. they were actually quite happy because I was extremely happy and still am over my access to books but I have realized something. that a lot of people my age seem to either have a contempt for books think books are okay or be pretentious dick widgets about books. Usually I could only find people early 30s to late 50s who want to talk to me about books.
I knit and crochet I've done so since I've been 18 everyone always wanted me to make this cool stuff like outfits flowers scrunchies stuffies my mom wants ugg boots and a bikini. However to be the realest real and the most honest of honest I like making blankets and scarves and shawls and hats that's literally it stuff I can make with minimal effort but I can make it fancy if I wanted to. I freaking hate making clothes I do. I feel it's such complicated math and I hate shaping actually fitting a garment to a person as hard as fuck. I have a size trick for hats.
I don't think anyone will be excited to hear about the 30th beanie I've made or the scarf with little trees on it.
You must think I'd hate relating to people like I'm some emo hipster with what I decided to get obsessed with next quilts I am obsessed with making quilts. With my newly realized gay audacity after almost 4 months of research thanks to one tiktok video I decided I was going to make two quilts.
Yes I completely hate relating to people my own age because now not only do I get made fun of but no one thinks it's very interesting that I'll probably spend two years piecing little octagons and squares for gifts for my siblings.
You'd think I'd be finished but I'm not in addition to that to turning my hobbies into relaxing things and not just reasons to give people stuff so they say wow I have also gotten backing to Sudoku, jigsaw puzzles and mahjong solitaire all on my phone. And I'm having a blast but this doesn't exactly make me the coolest 25-year-old
Apparently the only thing that makes me cool is the same thing that made me uncool when I was 12 years old anime.
Whether it was a gift from God or a sign that God is dead and we have killed him anime is mainstream and I can't stand it.
Don't get me wrong I'm not a pretentious gatekeeping dweeb. It's just that that's all people want to talk to me about. And they don't even want to have a good conversation about it. they just say if a anime is good or not and tell me I should watch it. Yell at me for only being a dubbed watcher if they are elitist enough and ask me for recommendations it doesn't even sound like a real conversation at the time it just sounds like we're reciting our watch list and we might as well be putting a thumbs up or thumbs down for how much deep thought anyone's opinion has. I feel like I should preface this by saying I've mostly talk to dudes with the most toxic personalities about anime that is usually how the conversation goes.
I'm honestly about to say that I don't like anime just so people stop talking to me about it in this way. I remember vividly telling someone my favorite anime of all time is yu yu Hakusho and he said what you know about it baby girl visible cringe the pain oh it hurts.
All this being said I don't know really where to find friends I've tried finding friends my own age I've tried in other Skittle communities only to be hit on by jerky guys and lesbians who don't respect me or ones that do and we're just staring at each other cuz we have nothing in common.
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