Who won the 1984 nba finals
The Cleveland Browns: A Factory of Sadness
2012.01.11 18:47 precose The Cleveland Browns: A Factory of Sadness
2010.04.29 07:37 Kiz11 THIS IS OIL COUNTRY
A subreddit for the Edmonton Oilers of the National Hockey League. 5x Stanley Cup Champions.
2017.04.06 06:13 verttex CU Boulder eSports
CU Boulder eSports
2023.06.05 05:57 Moonbeam-Kitten I’m not sure I have genuine friendships
Looking for guidance, and a kind ear. I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into situations but I feel like some of my close friends don’t actually like me. I have a best friend who is a wonderful human being and I’m in a happy relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and I feel so lucky to have met him. But I have friend groups too, people who I’ve valued highly over the years, that I look forward to seeing and often reach out to meet up.
Recently, let’s say around for about a year, they’ve not been very responsive. I know one of my friends is in a new relationship for almost as long as mine, and he seems happy to be with her. But he never seems to want to talk to me and never agrees to meet me with his new partner. It appears that he has been agreeing to meet other people in our friendship group though, having spoken to one guy in the group about this friend.
I don’t post that often on social media, but I posted about my one year anniversary with my boyfriend recently. I haven’t posted anything about any of my relationships for nearly 10 years, that was the first time. Most of my close friends, that circle included, know that I’ve been in some toxic and abusive relationships. I never posted anything because I never felt so secure as I do now. I’m finally in a good situation, after being in some really dark places. I was touched that I’ve had really old friends that I went to high school with, some people I barely know and people I haven’t spoken to in years like my post and say lovely things, but none from that group. If I saw something from them, it would mean a lot to me, and I think they know it would. I know if I say anything they will probably say they haven’t seen it. But then, in my news feed, I’ll see them like them like each other’s posts. None of them wished me happy birthday when it was that time. I did for them, and I always like their posts. I feel so shallow for being upset about that. But I’d hate to think they would feel forgotten on their birthday or that I wasn’t rooting them on in life, which I have been, as I have been devastated when they’ve had rough patches, but that doesn’t feel mutual. I feel neglected. I feel like they don’t think I’m worthy. I feel used for the times I’ve tried to be a supportive friend. Despite being happy, I feel terribly lonely. Maybe it’s me, maybe they aren’t my people and I care too much. Maybe I’m focusing too much on social media, but surely trying to meet up is nothing to do with that? I have been told that I value friendship too highly. I’ve also been told that I seem overwhelmed by the bare minimum. Am I just being silly and focusing too much on something trivial? I just wish I understood what was going on. I wish I could make close friends where I’m not second guessing their genuinely.
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2023.06.05 05:57 yamheisenberg A pretty sweet story.
This is about a girl I met five months ago at a party. Met her last week and it was so, so nice!
25M here. So it was a New Year party and I was invited there with my friends, and there happened to be a girl who caught my attention quite easily. I didn’t feel nervous at all, and asked her her name and IG (not number yet, as I felt it wouldn’t be fair), and she gave it. We planned to meet so much, but it never worked out as I had too much going on in my personal life and she’d gone back to her hometown. Once she came back, her job had kept her way too busy. We stayed in touch throughout the 5 months and were both comfy.
Last week, we finally decided to meet and it was probably one of the best times of my life. We met at a cute cat cafe and she talked so, so much and I listened, and vice versa. She actually listened to me whenever I spoke, with probably the best eye contact ever. She was even mirroring my body language. We laughed a lot too. I’m so glad that none of us even looked at our phones. We have so, so much in common and it’s unbelievable. The chemistry was absolutely unreal and we both felt like 3 hours went away in just one. Yes, we didn’t know we spent 3 hours together until we looked at our watches. She responded very positively to gentle flirting and had sweet responses to my subtle pickup lines. Her banter game is insanely good too. Before I saw her off I told her I’d love to take her out on a date and she agreed!
I wanted to make sure she reached safely, so I called her, and what felt like 5 minutes turned out to be 20!
Now we’re not texters and glued to our phones, and work keeps both of us busy, so texting is only for memes, some banter and date plans. And calls are rare. We’re actually too busy. And I think it’s safe to say that she isn’t crushing on me just yet; it’s been, what two meetings. But the connection we had right then and there felt so real.
After having learned from so many bad experiences, I’m trying my best to keep my expectations very low. If you expect something, it becomes a demand, and if a demand isn’t met, it becomes a disappointment. Hoping for the best!
She’s a wonderful person and I feel it’ll be bad if she’s a goner too. As much as I know there are so many other people, it’s quite rare for a strong connection immediately. So I don’t want to screw it up. I’m not putting her on a pedestal, because that’s a one way ticket to losing someone or landing in the dreaded friendzone.
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2023.06.05 05:56 nicenurse13 What do you think?
This guy, we dated on and off a few months He showed toxic behaviour It ended. 3 months later I got an apology text and he wanted to meet up for‘friendship’ I was hesitant but met for coffee and a walk 2 months of ‘friendship’ and no physical contact except for parting hug on occasion. Wanted to meet up again as he was moving to another country (NZ to Australia) Ok so I met him. Usual long walk and coffee. He is funny and intelligent and good banter but has issues which I won’t elaborate on but related to childhood trauma Anyway he asked me to go to his place. It was raining so ok We hugged on the bed fully clothed and he said he wanted more than friends. I got off the bed. I had an honest discussion about my reservations I said I had felt a lack of empathy from him in the past etc, he agreed Quite an in depth discussion and I was being honest but still polite. Then he says he wants commitment and I must decide right NOW and he says he was faithful in a long distance relationship for a year I feel blindsided and put my head in my hands, thinking. I say no. But then I said I understand dating. I said you go on a date and if it goes well then another etc So then I said ok I’ll date only you. I’m busy as a nurse anyway and no time for dating and he was leaving in 2 weeks, so ok I’ll give it ANOTHER go. Then we cuddle on the bed and of course sex First time in 4 plus months. Mid way he says “ is this a yes” well we had already agreed Then I’m going to be on night shifts a couple of nights We agree I will text him when I wake up from my shifts and we agree to go out of town together for a couple of nights and he also wants me to get leave for a couple of days to fly to another town for another couple of nights before he leaves the country. So ok we say bye with this plan I texted him at work saying good night the next night and he replied But then I texted him the next day and no reply and he’s blocked me. He will now be in another country in his new job and life. This was 2 weeks ago now and I’m over him except I just don’t understand his behaviour I know him and I know he will unblock and message me eventually as this happened several times in the initial dating time September to January More fool me. I’m an idiotic fool that I trusted him but he was convincing and said he’d thought about it a lot for 4 months of no contact and 2 months of friendship I think I wanted to trust him cos of good banter and intelligent conversation But that is clearly not enough if he lacks empathy and respect Also after sex he decided to tell me he is 5 years younger than I had believed for over 7 months So a liar also. A week ago a good friend died and it gave me perspective My (male) friend was kind honest and compassionate but had health problems. Sick but sudden unexpected death and I cried the entire funeral of course. So just tell me your opinion, is this person who said he liked everything about me etc it seems just to have sex one last time, just completely f Ed up? And manipulative? I think he is and I’m glad he’s gone. But I’m an analytical person and I like to have some input on this person from the outside Thank you.
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2023.06.05 05:55 Broocrum [US-TX] eviction over BS noise complaints?
Hi, I live in a large apartment complex in Texas. I renewed my lease for a second time in November, but not until after the assistant manager forgot to submit my paperwork. I had to contact the corporate regional manager.
I started getting noise complaints from my neighbor below me in October about my working out in my apartment. She lived below me for almost two years without complaining. I even texted her to make sure I wasn’t being too loud, and she said no. She changed her mind in October, and the company let her out of her lease.
Keep in mind, none of these complaints ever came during quiet hours, 10 pm-6 am. I’m not working out or listening to music or anything loud during those hours.
The new tenant moved in and also started complaining about everything from workouts to music to the television. The office never gave me dates or times this was bothering her, nor did she contact me. I asked management to set up a meeting with her so we could resolve the issue. Nothing. I attempted to talk to her, but she didn’t answer the door or wasn’t home. I stopped working out in my apartment, stopped playing music on my tiny Bluetooth speaker, and stopped having company over. She still complained. So they started slapping me with lease violations and then a 30-day move out notice two weeks ago.
On Saturday, I got a voicemail from the assistant manager (who screwed up my lease) that said she was going to get the police involved. I’ve no idea what she’s talking about because I wasn’t home Friday. I don’t know what to do because management won’t listen to me or believe me since this is the second person, and I don’t want to get evicted. Other residents have parties and hold gatherings in our common areas, but I’m somehow the problem, even though they have no police reports or documentation from this person.
Should I get a camera? Should I let them file an eviction suit and take my chances in court? Should I just move out? Anyone been in a similar situation?
Any help at all would be appreciated. I have depression, anxiety and PTSD, and this situation is making my life hell. I’ve lived in apartments for 14 years and never had complaints.
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2023.06.05 05:54 FlapsackMcBingus Caleb Martin was sitting with a towel over his head postgame in front of his locker. He told me he has been suffering with migraines and cold chills. COV-19 has been ruled out. Despite feeling ill, Martin came off the bench in game 2, playing 21 minutes.
Caleb Martin was sitting with a towel over his head postgame in front of his locker. He told me he has been suffering with migraines and cold chills. COVID has been ruled out. Despite feeling ill, Martin came off the bench in game 2, playing 21 minutes.
Martin was initially listed as questionable on the NBA injury report with a head injury and an illness. He missed the Heat's practice prior to game day, putting his status in jeopardy. Fortunately, he was declared available to play, albeit in a bench role as Miami decided to put Kevin Love in the starting lineup.
Game 1 against the Nuggets was not kind to Martin, who went off in the Eastern Conference Finals and nearly won the series MVP award over Jimmy Butler. Martin shot just 1-7, one of many Heat players to shoot poorly in the opening contest of the Finals. In order to win the 2023 NBA Finals, Butler has to get back to dominating, which would make it much easier for role players like Martin to come through.
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2023.06.05 05:53 GTA5Acidtrip M/39 F/25 I dated an escort and we were going to get married then something weird happened that I can't explain, your thoughts please?
We started dating I thought she was amazing. We started talking about a future together making future plans like moving in together and starting a family. Then I met her other escort friends. I saw a side of her I have never seen before, they were acting like total sluts sharing videos of threesome's they had with clients. I tried to focus on the person she was when we were alone and convinced myself that was her real personality. Then the next day we are having lunch at Denny's with one of her friends. She went to the restroom and I was talking to her friend about something personal that happened to my family that put me in a deep depression for years, a story I had previously shared with her as well. Out of nowhere she begins to insult me and embarrass me in front of the whole restaurant. Calling me a weakling and saying how she wants a real man, and that I can't protect her and other even worse insults. Her friend tries to stick up for me but quickly backs away because she started saying she was on my side. We leave the restaurant and while driving she puts that "you're beautiful" song on full volume and blocks me on Facebook and on her cell. We then have a blowout on the road, I quickly changed the tire trying to show her what I can do, she starts to cry and invites me to some events they were going to in a few days. She falls asleep in the back as we head back home, her friend starts talking about how I need to find someone who doesn't insult me and attempts to grab my penis. I put my travel bag over my crotch for protection. Later My gf wakes up and takes over driving. She is acting crazy, speeding yelling at the road and the drives, then tries to flirt with dudes in front of me when we stopped by to look for another tire to replace the spare. We finally get to her apartment when she says she doesn't want to see me anymore. I am still confused about what happened?
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2023.06.05 05:51 Reasonable_Place_507 Unknown parasites on my trifoliate orange
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I got this orange sapling in the winter when it had no leaves. Come may, it still hadn't grown any leaves, and I was ready to give up on it. When it finally grew leaves, I couldn't be happier, so of course that's when these weird parasites showed up. They don't move at all, even when I pick them off th plant. I wouldn't have noticed them if it weren't for the ants who also joined the party. The ants seem to take an interest in the parasites, almost like they do with aphids. submitted by Reasonable_Place_507 to plantclinic [link] [comments]
Can someone please tell me what they are and how to get rid of them? Thanks!
2023.06.05 05:51 7dear Toxic mom + wedding = Total chaos (and my mom trying to take her clothes off on the dance floor)
So let me preface this by saying I am estranged from my mother and have been for most of my life. She is a paranoid narcissist, a racist, a homophobe, a xenophobe, and just all around terrible person. She abused me growing up so I cut loose in high school, got emancipated and got on with my life. For years I had a happy queer relationship with another woman and we had a son together (I carried with a sperm donor). When my kid was 5 his other mom died and I was alone for 5 years before I met someone. A year later, that someone and I got married. Previous to said wedding my husband’s parents felt it would be important to meet my parents. My father died when I was 19 so that left my mother and her husband. I struggled over the decision to try and reconnect with my mom, knowing how bad this can get for me in these situations (I suffer severe ptsd from the abuse trauma).. but it was a wedding and everyone kept telling me it “was important to have family together.” So fine, let’s do this.
The problems started fast and furious. My mom came to our coast (we live on opposite coasts) to meet my fiancé and my son. Right away she was pulling my husband to the corner to tell him all the “dirt” she could on me, or conversely, telling him he better get me nice cars and plastic surgery. Then she stated calling all of her friends and putting my fiancé on the phone to “prove to them that her daughter was marrying a doctor” (even if he is a goyem (a Yiddish term for non-Jew. Has slightly derogatory tones).
Cut to lunch and my mother is asking how many tables she “gets” at the wedding. I ask “huh?” She explains she needs a least 5 tables at 10 per table for HER guests. I was really confused. I explained that our whole wedding venue seated 50 people total and those seats were spoken for. I had invited several people my mother asked me to have already. She went absolutely bananas demanding we change venue (we’re now 6 weeks from the wedding) to accommodate HER GUESTS. I painfully explained we can’t do that.. it’s not possible.. just no. She then switches gears like she always does and asks about our honeymoon. We were heading to Mexico for 2 weeks and my son would be staying with his donomyBFF. My mom screamed “what??? He needs to be with HIS FAMILY.” I reminded her that he was staying with family. She demanded time with my son so I half heartedly said she could have him half the time. (This will come back to haunt me later.)
Cut to the wedding. Did I mention my mom is a low key alkie? So it’s about 2pm and she’s in the bridal suite in the bathroom. I’m in the dress and the photographer is waiting for my mother to come and use an antique button-holer to button up my gown. I’m nervous and excited and emotional because I’m in the dress and this is my day. This is one of the photos we had pre-planned to take. I asked my mother if she would do the honors. Instead, my mother is in the bathroom half dressed with her fireball and ice screaming into the phone at her husband “you are so stupid, how can you not find it!? I put it on the damn dresser! I can’t f**ing believe I married you…” you get the picture. It’s so loud the guests in the living room can hear it. I finally give up and have my son do the buttonholing for me (the pics were so special). Thank goodness it wasn’t video because you would have her my mother screaming “Can anyone get me another drink?? Does this room even have room service??”
Cut to walking down the aisle. We do the ceremony, it’s perfect, and my delightful friend and officiant announces “Introducing Mr. & Mrs Jon— when suddenly my mom stands up and screams “It’s DOCTOR not MISTER, get it right!”
Now I knew we had a problem on our hands ahead of the big day so I put in some contingency plans in place to buffer her. My wedding planner was under strict instructions to not allow my mother to make a speech (she loves to humiliate me by saying personal things about me to anyone who will listen and then she loves to announce what a terrible daughter I am and how much of a disappointment to her.) Second plan was my SIL faking a heart attack if she got her hands on the mic. About half thru dinner my delightful planner comes to me crying saying she’s so sorry but my mom is demanding to make a speech. That’s right, this tiny demon of a woman made my wedding planner CRY. Right then she stood up (have no idea how she got the mic) and said, “So my daughter didn’t want me to say anything. I guess she gets embarrassed, but I’m her MOTHER, and I get to say whatever I want. I’m here to say that I always knew she was going to marry a doctor, it didn’t surprise me at all. What did surprise me is when I gave birth to her and the nurses told me she was a girl, but I didn’t believe them so I had to take her diaper off and spread her legs and look at her vagina to make sure she was a girl.” She illustrated this by spreading her two fingers open. You could here jaws dropping around the room. She then went on to say “how disappointed she was in me that I don’t see her more often and that she hopes now that I have a doctor husband I’ll be able to see her more frequently”. Sadly my SIL was in the loo and plan 2 failed.
Cut to the dancing. I am dancing with my husband and my friends. We’re all having a good time when somebody comes up to me and taps me on the shoulder and says “hey, I don’t wanna cause a scene or anything but you might want to look at your mom”. I look over at my mother and she has taken off the jacket to her dress and now she’s peeling off the shoulder straps one by one and waving her head around to the music saying “oh my goodness it’s getting so hot in here!” This b*tch was trying to take her clothes off on the dance floor. Oh, I forgot to mention earlier that she had a three drink maximum, but she was getting around this by asking other people to get drinks for her.
The next morning I of course got to hear alllllll the embarrassing stories from the night before. She asked why my friend married “an Arab,” called another guest “not Jewish enough to attend the wedding” and complained to anyone who would listen that I didn’t even allow her 50 guests, and the party would have been so much more fun if she had done it.
And the pièce derésistance? Right as we were leaving for our honeymoon I got a call from her saying “I know you need me to watch your kid, but not unless you do something for me. You’ll need to call your brother and make nice with him again.” My brother and I are estranged for reasons I can’t get into now. I said no, he’ll go to his real family, the one that cares for him without strings attached. There is so much more she did around my wedding but to would be way to long to include everything!
There you have it! One cluster fuck of a mother story! For anyone interested, we don’t talk anymore and I couldn’t be happier. Good riddance to bad rubbish!
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2023.06.05 05:50 NobleDragon777 After years of depression, pessimism, and anger, I have finally come to peace. Here is my story.
Some background about me is needed. I am an Indian male that was born in America in 2004 to 2 first generation immigrants. My early childhood was completely normal and definitely above average. My family has a high income and to be completely honest, I have been extremely spoiled my whole life.
My mother sometimes tells me I was a very happy kid. Hearing this now brings a smile to my face, but between 10th to 12th grade hearing that statement only brought sadness to me. Starting 9th I became very existential, and I would ponder day in and out about the purpose of life and the reason for everything.
Unsurprisingly, these thoughts over time changed my mindset and made me become very depressed. I felt hopeless and thought that everything was for nothing. I was too consumed by my thoughts to appreciate the value in everything. COVID amplified this by limiting my distractions and giving me more time to overthink in my own head alone. By 11th grade I was deep into these thoughts, and hearing my mother tell me I used to be a happy kid would upset me. I thought as though I failed as a person.
I truly believed that ignorance was bliss. I admired children for innocence and how they were not cynical due to exposure to this cruel world. Being reminded that I used to be one of those kids would make me bitter to the core. I was full of resentment towards everyone and everything that didn’t share my way of thinking.
This eventually led to self guilt. I felt as though that I shouldn’t be having these thoughts because I have an extremely blessed life. I was aware of the fact that I was taking my life for granted but I didn’t want to care about it because it would be contradictory and not embrace the “nothing matters” mindset. In the back of my mind this was slowly ruining me mentally and emotionally.
This led me to believe that I was a terrible person and that I did not deserve the life I had. This amplified a lot of my self esteem issues that I had in my life before the depression started and increased the downward spiral. These issues also manifested in anger, and I would have a lot of violent thoughts (don’t worry I wasn’t psycho). I had a lot of suicidal thoughts and used to cry myself to sleep every night praying to whatever forces were responsible for the universe that I would not wake up the next morning. Despite all my prayers, I always woke up the next day.
I kept waking up. The feeling felt worse and worse. The little bit of human emotion I had left in me didn't want to take my life. This was due to the damage I could cause to my loved ones. I didn’t care about myself at all, and honestly I didn’t care about how they felt that much either. I just felt that I owed them due to how much time and effort they put into me.
Over time, I got sick of feeling bad. It was not like a switch flipped into me, but I slowly realized I had to do something. I didn’t care about myself, but we all see the world through our eyes, and I realized that even if I feel like what I’m doing is useless, it’s all I have. There isn’t anything else you can do, so you might as well do it.
I slowly started taking care of myself. Skincare, losing weight, dressing better. Working on my confidence. At first I didn’t really understand why I was doing this. I know I looked better and was presented in a much better fashion than before, but I still felt as though it was pointless. I was simply doing it out of boredom.
It wasn’t a constant upward slope from that point. I would have my moments of plummet and would sometimes be extremely depressed. All my friends and family knew this but didn’t really talk to me about it too much. I was still much better than before though.
Entering college I was a brand new person, but I still had my baggage and people could tell. It wasn’t until I watched season 2 of Alice in Borderland that it clicked for me. It was never about how I felt, it was always about what I wanted. Despite being extremely depressed I did want to be happy, I just didn’t know how. In that show I constantly saw people beg for their lives, and all I could think to myself was how grateful they must be for their lives. Some characters didn’t always have great lives to go back to, and they have suffered a lot of loss. Despite that they still wanted to live. It amazed me how much they wanted to live and the lengths they were willing to go to survive.
It hit me. They didn’t want to live so they could be happy. They wanted to live so they could keep living. I realized that in order to appreciate life, you have to accept every single aspect of it.
I’m not talking about simple things, I’m talking about EVERYTHING. Unexpected events, growing as a person, pain/loss, the laws of physics, the ability to dwell on the past or have a hopeful future, the way the society is structured, the fact that you have to flip your pillow if it gets too hot. Every single little thing. I always viewed it all as a drag and that’s why I couldn’t see what was right in front me. It suddenly felt so clear.
Remove a single aspect from that and life as a whole is completely different. There isn’t anything specific needed to be done in life. Everyone's beginning and final destination is different, morals are subjective in nature, and no one truly knows why we actually exist. All we have is our life and nothing else. All you have to do is live it through. Our circumstances and past experiences shape who we are today. Life is nothing more than a process and you shouldn’t view it as anything else.
After watching Alice in Borderland, I started going to the gym, taking therapy, and working even harder on myself. The way I’m treated and how I treat other people is significantly different compared to before. I learned how to embrace every single aspect of life. No complaints. No if, ands, or buts. That’s it. Life is life. I truly believe that by coming to terms with every single thing, and understanding that it doesn’t have to go my way, it just has to go, that I was able to change my soul. I’m full of so much emotion now and I choose to be nice even if there is absolutely no reason to. If nothing matters and I just have to be, I might as well be feeling good about myself and make others feel good rather than doing the opposite. I realized I didn’t need to seek happiness, I just had to come to terms with everything so I wouldn’t be sad about it.
Life is a process. We grow and we change and our ability to do that is our greatest gift. We can choose to grow or dwell on the past. We can choose to be scared or look forward to the future. I made a full 180 degree turn in my life and I truly believe that if I could change, anybody could. Maybe this was a useless story and I’ll get criticism, even so, I chose to write it and whatever response I get from this is just part of the process. Human desire is the strongest emotion of all. As long as you want good for you and don’t let it fade away, nature will take its course and you will get better eventually. Every single one of you is just as important as each other, nobody is more and nobody is less. We all take up the same space in the universe and we’re all going through the process, whether it’s shorter or longer, happier or sadder, worse to bettebetter to worse, or any other discrepancy. The idea of someone being more valuable is created by society. I truly hope this reaches out to someone who is able to utilize it to help themselves. If you made it to the end I appreciate you taking time out of your progression to read this. Thank you all. <3
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2023.06.05 05:49 JLGoodwin1990 We broke into the Egyptian Theatre in Coos Bay to go ghost hunting. I wish we never had.
“I just had an idea pop into my head about something to do this coming weekend, and I wanted to bounce it off you two before it slips my mind” My friend Natasha said those words as the three of us sat on my couch one afternoon. I found myself sitting up slightly. Normally, Natasha was the last of our group to suggest things to do, letting Vinny, the third member of our group, or I come up with the plans to keep our free time occupied. The fact she was about to suggest something intrigued me. “What have you got in mind?” I asked her. A smile played over her face as her brown eyes seemed to flash. “How about a little ghost hunting?”
I felt Vinny sit straight up beside me. She had clearly grabbed both our attention now. The three of us were what you might call amateur ghost hunters, using very basic items we bought offline to visit some of the spookier places in the area and posting our adventures on YouTube, sort of like a crappier version of Ghost Adventures. “Now that’s one hell of a good idea” Vinny said, before a puzzled expression spread over his face. “But, I mean, where? We’ve already done most of the places around town. The Tioga building won’t let us in after that…well, what that one resident claims we stirred up in the old ballroom, and I’m not about to make the hours long drive to the Wolf Creek Inn” Natasha’s smile grew wider. “No, we don’t have to even go out of town for this one” she said, her voice dropping low, “What I’m suggesting, is we check out…” her voice trailed off, letting the suspense grow for a few seconds before finishing, “The Egyptian Theatre”
Instantly, Vinny let out a harsh bark of laughter. “HA! Now that’s a good one. You know damn good and well that the society that runs the theater won’t allow us in after hours to ghost hunt. As far as I know, they’ve never allowed any paranormal teams into the place” He pulled a face. “So, how exactly do you propose we get in there? You flutter your eyelashes for the night janitor and use your feminine charms to get us in?” Natasha still grinned, but rolled her eyes at our friend’s quip. “No, actually, I was thinking about using my lock picking skills to get us in” she declared. It was my turn to give her an incredulous look. “You’re joking, right?” I asked. She shook her head. “Nope, I’m dead serious” I let out an incredulous, almost baffled snort of laughter and pulled my glasses off my face, rubbing my eyes.
The country, and, to a large extent, the entire world, became gripped in an interest, sometimes bordering on obsession with all things Egyptian when King Tut’s tomb was discovered over a century ago. Many things came out of this, including the classic 1932 monster movie The Mummy. But, one thing that also came of this fever gripping the country was a desire to build many Egyptian style buildings. And one of the buildings which took this design and ran with it, were the movie theatres. A decade after the legendary discovery, over a hundred theatres had gone up all around the country, their interiors clad with fake temple columns, paintings of sphinxes and Egyptian gods such as Anubis decorating the walls, and hieroglyphs adorning the archways. People flocked in droves to them, both to watch movies, and live performances. But, like all trends, eventually, the interest began to wane, and as the late 20th Century approached, many began to shut down and be either remodeled, or straight up demolished. Today, there’s only between five and eight Egyptian style theatres left in the entire country.
And one just so happens to be right in the town I live in.
When I moved to Coos Bay, Oregon nine years ago, I immediately fell in love with the place. Even though it’s the largest coastal town on the Oregon coast, it’s a place which is more or less perpetually frozen in time, still looking pretty much as it did between thirty and seventy years ago. And, as someone who is not exactly into the modern world, it made a perfect place for me to live and escape away from the 21st Century. I began exploring right away, driving every street of it and the town neighboring it, North Bend, along with walking every alley and back road I could to learn the layout. That’s how I learned about the supernatural element to the town.
There are many places in town which people claim supernatural occurrences take place. From the remains of the old logging buildings on the estuary, to the old Tioga Hotel which has been remodeled into apartments, there is no shortage of ghostly tales. There was even the old McCauley Hospital, which had once been the focal point of the town’s annual ghost walks until it was demolished in 2018. As a side note, I heard a rumor that a couple people broke into that place right before it got torn down. Something sure spooked them, because a friend of mine on the police force told me they gave him a fright, bursting in the night before Easter and rambling about something. I always wondered what they saw in there.
But, for me, the place in town I always loved the most, and enjoyed the most hearing about the ghostly accounts told, was the Egyptian Theatre.
Originally built as a garage in 1922, it was renovated by a man named Charles Noble into a movie theatre in 1925, where it drew in droves of people from around the area to watch films, and enjoy live vaudeville performances. It continued to operate almost to the end of the 20th Century, when other theatres began to attract younger moviegoers, and for a while, it almost seemed as though the historic building might even be closed for good and gutted. But, thanks to the efforts of local preservation societies, it was saved, and now operates as a theatre once again. They mostly play only older movies, along with live performances.
And, of course, it draws curious people for the paranormal rumors surrounding it.
For years, people have reported strange occurrences happening inside the building, both when it’s open, and after hours. Patrons and employees alike have spoken about a pervasive feeling of being watched inside the building, but finding no one there when the place was searched. There have been reports of being touched by invisible hands, a few even pushed slightly. Beyond physical interaction, employees have reported the sounds of old film projectors playing and unseen audiences laughing after hours, along with the eerie playing of the theatre’s Wurlitzer pipe organ, along with a host of other occurrences. No ghost hunting team has ever gone in to try and document these events. And to Natasha, that was too good of an opportunity to pass up. Legal, or not.
“Are you freaking nuts?!” Vinny exclaimed, “Do you have any idea how much trouble we’d be in if we got caught breaking and entering? The cops around here are already a bit twitchy with the druggies and the homeless. You wanna give them a reason to throw us into jail alongside them?” Natasha held up a finger, flipping her black hair over her shoulder. “They won’t find out, because I have not one, but two aces in the hole here. The first is that thanks to being friends with Scott, I know the nighttime police sweeps, where they’re going to be and everything. There’ll be an hour long window where they’re not anywhere near the alley where the back door to the theatre is. We can get in and out with no threat of being spotted at all. And the second is, did you forget I’m dating Dylan now?” The realization washed over me like a wave; she had started dating the man who helped the preservation society run the theatre a month or so ago. Damn, she’s been planning this one for a while, I thought.
Vinny had a thoughtful look on his face, his green eyes darting around rapidly, but not seeing. “Hmm” he muttered, then looked at Natasha. “And you’re sure that there’s no chance of us getting caught?” he asked slowly. “Absolutely none” she said, then looked at both of us. “So, how about it?” For a few moments, there was silence, and then Vinny let out a chuckle. “What the hell, why not? The most exciting thing we’ve done the last few weeks is go down to the farmer’s market. This could shake things up a bit” I suddenly became aware that the two of them were looking at me, waiting for me to make my decision. I was always the most sensible of the three of us, doing all I could to keep us out of trouble with others as well as the law. But, I always had one nasty Achilles Heel ever since I had been a child, and that was peer pressure. So, despite the overwhelming feeling that I should tell them no, that I should say we should just find something else to do, I nodded. “Alright, let’s do it” I said simply, causing grins to break out on both of my friend’s faces.
I wish to God in retrospect that I’d just had the damn spine to stand up and say “No”
The rest of the week seemed to pass by faster than usual. Before I knew it, the weekend had arrived. We’d decided that late Saturday night would be the best time to do this, as most places downtown closed up between eleven and midnight, aside from the bars and strip club. To say I felt anxious about breaking the law, something I wasn’t used to doing at all, would be like calling a Megalodon a goldfish, but my worries about disappointing my friends ended up outweighing it. And so, at eleven-thirty, the three of us piled into my beat up Chevy Tahoe, and made our way towards downtown. As I drove us down Ocean Boulevard, which connected the two sides of town, something settled over me. I can’t exactly place it, even to this day. But it was the most uneasy feeling I’ve ever experienced. But I did my best to push it away. It’s nothing, Troy. It’s just because you’re, understandably, worried about this. Plus, the road being deserted isn’t helping much.
My mental chiding seemed to help center me a bit, which was a good thing. The road was now angling downward, and a moment later, we drove into downtown. The darkened shapes of the closed stores seemed to rise up higher on either side of us than they looked during the daytime. We’d decided to cruise by the front entrance first, just to see if anyone were still inside. As I turned the truck onto the main drag, the sign for the theatre rose high above us, a depiction of an Egyptian pharaoh next to the yellow and white letters which proclaimed its name to everyone who drove through town. I spared a glance as we passed it. The lit up marquee windows showed that The Blues Brothers and Jaws would be shown soon. For whatever reason, though, I couldn’t bring myself to look through the glass doors that showed the building’s darkened interior. The uneasy feeling had returned, and, for a moment, it felt as though if I did look, I would see someone, or something staring back out at me. And then we passed it, taking the next right and looping back around to Anderson Ave.
I turned the truck into the narrow alley drive which ran along the back of the theatre and neighboring buildings. Parking right next to the rear doors would be extremely conspicuous, so I pulled up a bit further and parked in a carport like area. Shutting off the engine, I turned to my two friends. “Well, this is it” I said, “Last chance to turn back if anyone’s having second thoughts” I’d hoped that either Vinny or Natasha would’ve gotten cold feet in the last few minutes, allowing us to go do something else. But there was no such luck. “Are you kidding me?” Natasha said from the passenger seat, “We are far too close to back out now!” Vinny grunted from behind me. Well, shit. Resigning myself to the fact they were determined to go through with this, I let a deep breath out through my nose and nodded. The others opened their doors and hopped out. A moment later, I followed.
The night air was cool and crisp on my skin as we slowly walked back down the alley to the rear of the yellow-ish, tan building. Three different sets of red double doors were built into the back of the theatre. Natasha pulled something out of her coat pocket, and I realized, with a small pang of surprise, that it was a lock pick set. A legitimate lock pick set. “Where the hell did you get that?” I whispered to her. She shrugged and smiled. “I have my ways of getting things” she said simply, then pointed to the far right set of doors. “We’ll have a bit of cover from that electrical box. You two keep an eye out while I deal with the lock” And with that, she scurried forward, bending down in front of the door handles. Vinny and I stood guard, each of us looking down both ends of the alley. As the soft sound of Natasha messing with the lock filtered over to me, I realized just how quiet it was. And how eerie hearing downtown so quiet was. Aside from a few distant booms and bangs, and the far off sound of a dog barking, all I could hear was the whistle of the wind as it whipped between the old buildings.
An involuntary shiver cascaded up my spine, and I tried again to reason myself back to a relative sense of calm. “Get a grip, dude, you’re gonna be fine” I whispered under my breath. But this time, it felt as though I weren’t able to entirely convince myself. I suddenly became aware of a creeping sensation, one which made me shoot a look around. Nothing moved in the stillness, no indication of anyone besides us being in the alley. And, yet…I was overcome with the distinct feeling of being watched. Not by either of my friends. But…by someone else. Before I had a chance to even think about it, I heard a rather loud click, and Natasha let out a soft laugh of triumph. “We’re in, ladies and gentleman!” she declared, standing up and pulling on the door. It opened silently, the streetlight in the alley casting a small shaft of light into the darkness beyond. Turning, she waved an arm at Vinny and I. “Come on, let’s get inside”
Before either of us could say anything, she turned and disappeared into the dark. I shot a look at Vinny, who simply shrugged. “After you, my man” he whispered. I let out a deep sigh, and then moved to the door. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the small flashlight, and then pulled on the heavy metal, slipping inside, Vinny right behind me. The darkness swallowed us as the door closed. For a moment, a small rush of panic from not being able to see flashed through me, before a light appeared beside me. It wasn’t from a flashlight, though; instead, a small, orange flame flickered beside me. “Don’t turn on your flashlights yet, just follow me” Natasha said, the flame making her face seem to dance and move behind it. She turned and headed away, leaving us no choice but to follow. I listened to her and didn’t turn on my flashlight. But every fiber of my being was screaming at me to. Because the feeling of being watched out in the alleyway? Had quintupled in here. The best way to describe it, was that we were angrily being stared at. And I didn’t like the sensation one bit.
Natasha led us up a flight of steps and pushed open another door. “We’re here” she said, still keeping her voice low, “You can turn on your flashlights now” Thank you, God, I silently said, snapping mine on and casting a bright white light into the room we’d entered. A moment later, so did my two friends’ lights. The beams played around, and I heard Vinny let out a bit of a gasp. “Ho-lyyyy shit” he muttered.
Natasha had guided us into the main theatre. The ceiling rose high above our heads, almost out of sight of even the flashlights. Rows upon rows of red movie seats stretched out and away from us, seeming almost unending in the shadows. The walls were all covered in hieroglyphs, all still original from the 1920s. To our left, the second story, which housed a smaller row of seats, along with the projection room rose about twenty feet above us. And to the right, was the stage itself. It was flanked by two huge columns, the screen rolled up and revealing a mosaic of an Egyptian building on the back wall, with two men clutching staffs sitting on either side. Directly in front of the stage sat the organ, its seating bench tucked beneath it.
“Okay, this is a trip to be in at night!” Natasha exclaimed excitedly, then pulled the backpack she’d been wearing off her shoulders. Dropping it into a seat, she unzipped it and began pulling items from it. “Guys, here” she said, holding them out. Vinny stepped forward and grabbed the camcorder from her; as someone who’d had a lifelong dream of being a filmmaker, he was our resident cameraman. I stepped forward and took two items from her: an infrared thermometer and an EVP recorder. The rest, she placed on the ground, and then faced Vinny. “Alright, tell me when you’re recording” He fumbled with the camcorder for a second, then shot her a thumbs up. Instantly, she took on a somber, eerie expression, giving an admittedly creepy look at the camera. “Well, well, welcome back to The Three Ghostkuteers, everyone. I hope you all have been well since our last trip. Tonight, you join us in a very, very special place, and one close to home for us. We are currently in the Egyptian Theatre in Coos Bay, Oregon, one of the last remaining in the country. It was built in the 1920s by a man named Charles Noble-“
I turned away, tuning her out as I did. The woman really, really enjoys being in front of the camera. Better her than me. Shining my light around, I looked up at the balcony. I could see the small hole in the projection booth where the movie projector would shine out onto the screen. Something caught the beam’s light, reflecting off it slightly, and I aimed the light at the wall. It was a wrought iron light fixture, one which had been shaped into the figure of a King Cobra, poised to strike. Gazing around, I saw they adorned much of the walls. I let out a small shudder at it. God, do I hate snakes. Thankfully, though, the feeling of being watched I’d had in the alley and the darkened back of the theatre had seemingly disappeared. Yeah, see, what’d I tell you, Troy? Nothing but your nerves.
Natasha had finished her opening monologue and moved to the edge of the stage, on which she placed the small, square spirit box. “And now, let’s see if anyone would like to speak with us” she said, flicking it on. Instantly, the silence of the theatre was shattered by the sound of static, intermittently interrupted by quick snippets of radio shows being picked up. “Is there anyone here who’d like to talk to us?” she called out into the huge room. The static and snippets were the only sound to answer her. After a minute, she tried again. “Are there any spirits who’d like to communicate with us?” There was still nothing. Vinny panned the camera from the box to Natasha as she paced back and forth for a few minutes. A small look of disappointment flooded over her face, but she instantly plastered it over with the same look she’d given the camera before. “Well, it looks like the spirit box isn’t gonna work tonight, so we’re gonna have to try something else” She pulled out an EVP recorder identical to mine and switched it on. “Let’s try this instead, shall we? Remember, by the way guys, if you’re new here and want to see more, to like and subscribe-“
I turned away again, feeling a small pang of irritation flow through me. This is freakin’ ridiculous, man. The longer we stay in here, the more chance we have of getting caught. Truth be told, as much as I enjoyed ghost hunting, I didn’t even really believe in the paranormal. In all the years the three of us had filmed together, not once had we caught anything, on tape or otherwise. In fact, many times we’d had to fake spooky occurrences in order to make sure our videos got any views at all. This is your own fault, man, I silently chided myself, you’re the one who couldn’t stand up to them and say no. You really, seriously need to grown a spine and learn how to say no. The mental self lecture was furthering my rotten mood, and I began to feel a wave of anger at my two friends, as well as myself boil up.
“Hell with this” I finally muttered, then turned and began walking up the aisle. “Troy, where the hell are you going?” I heard Natasha call out behind me. I stopped, not looking over my shoulder, but quietly aiming my voice behind me and allowing a hint of irritation to seep into it. “I’m gonna go check out the second floor balcony, okay? I don’t exactly like just standing here” For a moment, there was silence, and then her voice came, soft and almost apologetic. “Okay, go ahead” Before she could say anything more, I strode away, walking to the open doorway which led out of the theater and into the concession area. I hooded my flashlight beam with one hand to make sure it wouldn’t accidentally shine out of the glass entrance doors into the street and looked around. The lobby and concession stand took up most of the front area, the darkened shape of it stretching along the far wall.
Taking a few steps ahead, I turned and looked up at the wall above me. Large, blue letters stretched out from one side of it to the other. Through these doors pass the most wonderful people. I snorted softly. “Yeah, unfortunately, not tonight” I shook my head, then looked around. And nearly jumped out of my skin. Something also seemed to jump back. I felt my heartbeat begin to race in my chest and my breath quickened. “Shit…” I let out weakly, then slowly moved forward. After a few steps, I suddenly realized what I’d seen and let out a soft laugh of relief.
“Your own damn reflection, you fucking pussy” Shaking my head, I turned away from the glass wall and headed for the stairs to the second floor. At the base of them, I stopped and shone my flashlight up. “Ooh, boy” I said quietly. Sitting next to the stairway like a sentry, was a huge, golden statue of a pharaoh. It towered over me, and I estimated that, were it be standing straight up, it’d easily be between eight and ten feet tall. It stared straight ahead at the wall ahead of it, and I couldn’t help but let out a small shiver as I stared at it. It just seemed so damn eerie in the dark, and I quickly moved past it, heading up the stairs and stepping out onto the second story balcony.
I shone my light around. Red seats again surrounded me, though this time far fewer. Ahead of me, I could see the balcony’s edge and the hulking shape of the main stage beyond. I could also see the beams of my friends’ flashlights playing over it, and hear both of their voices speaking softly. Deciding while I was up here to at least check out the projection booth, I strode over to the door and tried to turn the handle. It was locked. Feeling my irritation bubble over into exasperation, I jiggled the handle in some stupid attempt to open it. But the door stayed shut. I turned away and rubbed my eyes, again hearing the voices of my friends softly filtering up to me from down below.
“Hey, if there really are any ghosts, or spooks, or specters, or whatever in here? If you’re actually real, could you appear to us, please?” I whispered to no one, “That way my friends can get what they want and I can go home” I received only silence in reply. I hadn’t really expected anything, anyways. You know what? Screw this, I’m going back down there and telling them I’m going home, with or without them. This is beyond stupid, I just broke the law for what? For nothing! For something dumb as hell. And with that, I turned to walk away. But I hadn’t even taken a single step when something crashed into me like a wave. The breath was driven from my lungs as I felt a massive chill shoot through me, as though I’d been doused with ice water. “What the fuck?!” I hissed through gritted teeth, then froze, my eyes going wide. The feeling of being watched had returned with a vengeance, and it had seemingly been ramped up in its intensity. I shot a look around, but saw nobody.
Still, the feeling remained, and with each passing second, it almost seemed to grow stronger. Chill after chill rolled up my spine, and even though I didn’t really believe, something deep inside me told me that it was time to get out. Okay, time to leave, I said in my head, and headed quickly for the stairs. As I reached the head, I turned to look back one final time. That’s when I saw something. It disappeared when I aimed my flashlight at it, but I swear a second earlier it had been the outline of a person, standing in the shadows and watching me. The split second sight catapulted me into motion, and I hurried down the steps, shining my light every which way but loose. Believer or not, I knew something wanted us out. I’d planned on jumping off the second to last stair and running for the main theatre floor. But as I reached the bottom, I froze.
For a moment, I couldn’t place why. And then, the realization fell over me like a tsunami. I let out an involuntary gasp, and fear like I’d never felt before surged through me. I didn’t want to turn around and look. I wanted to pretend I hadn’t seen it. I desperately wanted to. But, like a dumbass character in a horror movie, I couldn’t help it. I needed to look. I slowly turned, aiming my flashlight back up. And I couldn’t help but let out a strangled scream, falling backwards over my own feet as I began to backpedal rapidly.
The statue of the pharaoh still sat where it had. It still towered over me, looking as imposing and eerie as ever. But it’s carved and painted eyes were no longer staring straight ahead at the wall. Instead, they had somehow moved. And when I’d turned, I’d come to find they were staring directly at me.
I scrambled to my feet, snatching the flashlight from the floor where I’d dropped it and aiming it at the statue again. It stared straight out at nothing again. But I knew what I’d seen. It hadn’t been a trick of my mind, or the light. The freaking thing’s eyes had moved to watch me as I passed down by it. I began to stammer out as I backed away from it. “Okay, that’s it, no no no no, we’re done here, fuck this shit, I’m officially a believer, we’re leaving, right now” I kept backing towards the doorway to the theatre, never taking my eyes off the statue. I was terrified I’d seen it suddenly stand up and turn to lumber after me like Boris Karloff or something.
The blaring sound of the theatre’s organ slashed through the silence, causing me to let out another strangled scream and jump almost a foot off the ground. I whipped around, thinking I would see my moronic friends tinkering with the instrument. Instead, I froze again. The theatre was no longer dark. Both of my friends had seemingly vanished from the room, as I could no longer see them. The movie screen had somehow been pulled down, and above me, I heard the whir of the movie projector playing. An old, black and white movie, one which had no sound, played on the screen, occasionally changing to show dialogue being displayed in white letters.
It was also no longer empty.
The entire theatre was packed. I saw people sitting at almost every single seat in the huge room. I could only see the backs of their heads as they watched the movie playing. At the edge of the stage, what looked like a man now sat at the organ, playing it in time with the film. A slapstick moment came across the screen, and the audience began laughing. In any other situation, it would’ve been a comforting sound. But at that moment, it was the most spine chilling sound I’d ever heard. Especially as another wave of realization crashed into me. From the little I could see, everyone in the theatre looked to be dressed in long passed fashions.
That’s when the voice, low and quiet, came from behind me. “Good evening, sir” it said. It sounded like a man’s voice, one rather low and deep pitched, but something about it paralyzed me on the spot. The voice continued, putting on an air of pleasant politeness. “We’re so glad you could make it, it’s been so long since we’ve had new patrons arrive at a showing. If I could just see your ticket, please?”
For a moment, I couldn’t speak. Then, I managed to squeak out two words. “Uh, ticket?” The tone of the voice seemed to change somewhat. “Yes, your ticket. That’s the only way you could’ve gotten in. Please, let me verify it and show you to your seat” Ohhh, shit. Whoever, or whatever the voice belonged to, thought I had shown up like a regular moviegoer. The voice’s tone became less polite. “You do have a ticket, right, sir?” I was beyond terrified to answer, but I was more terrified to remain silent. For a moment, I considered lying. But I feared what might happen if I did. So I told the truth.
“I….uh, I, uh….I don’t have a ticket, sir” I stammered out, my voice barely above a whisper. Instantly, all sound stopped in the room like someone had flipped a switch. “You…don’t have a ticket?” the voice said, all pretense of manners vanishing from it, “Then how did you get in here for the late night showing?” Oh, god. I forced myself to speak, still unable to say anything except the truth. “My…my friends and I….broke in…through the back door…to…ghost hunt…” There was silence for a few moments, and then a heavy hand dropped onto my shoulder. My head swiveled to look at it. Oh, fuck me sideways. It wasn’t a regular hand. It was a fucking claw. One with black skin, tipped with what looked like razor sharp nails. It sat there for a moment, then tightened; almost painfully so, making me let out a small whimper of pain.
That’s when I looked up. Everyone in the theatre had turned to look at me. My initial thought had been correct; they all wore clothing from almost a century ago, and not the stuff cosplayers wear, either. They also had very angry expressions on their faces, as if they’d just noticed the intruder among their midst. The voice finally came again, almost directly behind me. Its tone lowered, almost sounding guttural and animal, making my legs almost melt into jelly from the fear. “Then, might I make a suggestion to you and your trespassing little friends?” My breath came in rapid, ragged gasps, and I barely managed to force out the one word. “Yes?”
At the single word reply, which now more closely resembled a growl than a word, I did something I will forever wish I hadn’t. I finally turned and looked up at who was addressing me. The only way I can describe what happened is, my mind shattered. The next thing I remember, I was crashing into the back doors of the theatre into the night.
And I was screaming.
That was a month or so ago. When I’d stumbled back into the alley, I’d turned and, in what I can only call blind fear and panic, bolted for my truck. I hadn’t even heard my friends chasing after me. Not until Vinny caught up to me as I scrambled with my keys, grabbing me from behind and turning me to face him. He said the look I’d had on my face scared him and Natasha more than anything ever had before. I’d been pale as a sheet, my eyes wider than they ever thought a human’s could be. I'd been babbling softly. I’d been saying the words “They want us to leave” over and over. They didn’t ask me what had happened. They just pushed me into the backseat of my truck and drove away from there. It was clear, as I found out later on, that both of them hadn’t seen anything. As far as they were concerned before seeing me dash to the rear doors, it was just an empty theatre. Neither one of them ever asked me what I saw that night. And for that, I’m thankful. Because I could never utter from my lips what I did see.
But I’ve had nightmares since then. Horrible ones. Ones that’ve been so bad, I had to let out what happened to me, deciding to just post it here, regardless of whether people believe me or not.
Nightmares about being back in that theatre after hours. About seeing that pharaoh statue’s eyes flick in its painted sockets to look at me. About seeing all those people, people long since dead, sitting and watching the films they did when they were alive. About seeing that hand fall on my shoulder, hearing that voice, telling me not to come back until I have a ticket.
And about turning to see who the hand and voice belonged to.
The Egyptian Theatre will be celebrating its centennial this year. People are planning to show up in 1920s cars, dressed in period clothing. They’re even going to show an old, silent film as part of the festivities. But I won’t be attending it. I won’t ever go anywhere near it again. The one time I tried, a week or so ago, I started trembling with fear. And the mental image played over and over in my head.
The image of turning to see that horrible canine head attached to the human-like body, red, glowing eyes glaring down at me as it’s sharp teeth glinted in the light.
I pray to god I never will end up with a ticket to one of its late night showings.
But I can't help but fear that, like those packed into the theatre, sooner or later, we all will.
submitted by JLGoodwin1990
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2023.06.05 05:49 Lost-Ad-5392 I'm tired of being alone, but its taking all my effort to keep looking for people.
I'm tired of being alone, spending my weekend sitting at home, and just existing. But no matter what I do, nothing ever works out for me. I have tried everything to make friends at this point and nothing works. If something does happen, something always goes wrong. At this point I have a feeling its my destiny to be forever alone, I joke that I would have better lucky winning the lottery than making friends.
This past weekend is where these feelings came to a head, and I just have been numb to everything since. I'm not sure what else I can do, because the few times I felt like I became good friends with someone, they abandon me. Ill explain, but quickly I am in my mid twenties, and the other people mentioned are within 2 or 3 of my age currently.
Firstly, I had a friend I'll call Lav. Lav and I were friends for 1-2 years, we met online via one of many apps, I don't recall which. But we would talk almost daily via discord. With the Occasional Video and voice chats. We were both nerds and into art, and even did a live stream where we did a drawing collab with each other. We even did a gift exchange with each other Xmas of '21. Physically we lived 90ish minutes from each other and never had a reason to meet in person, we were both busy with work/school. this was until last summer when the Ren Fest opened for the season. We decided to meet at the ren fest and spend the day there. It was a fun trip, and I bought them some horns for their birthday. Besides being nervous I don't know what could have gone wrong, but they slowly stopped responding, and I haven't heard form them in a little under a year. Even when I sent this a Xmas gift this past year. When I try to message them, I just get left on read.
This past April I matched with a person on a dating app, Lets call them Violet. Violet and I got along great, they even brought up going on a date, which honestly cause me to panic a little since I never been on a date, this would be my first. But we managed to lock down a time, and we went on this date, we talked for hours and had dinner before I drove them home. We talked about meeting again, which we did next week. But just like Lav, Violet slowly stopped responding and without an explanation why.
Finally this is the thing that happened most recently, that is completely breaking me. This person I'll call Scarlet, and they live on the other coast of the US compared to me. We again met on an App, but we been chatting with each other almost daily for around 2-3 years at this point, and the past 2 Christmases we did gifts exchanges. While it was very unlikely we would have the time or reason to meet, being across the country, I considered them a great friend of mine that I could talk to about anything with. We have video and voice chatted, and I thought I knew them and who they were. Which is why this completely blind sided me.
I had a week of vacation time I had to use before a lost it, and I brought it up to them, and one thing leading to another we agreed to me flying over and visiting them for a week. I gave them 2 or 3 weeks to choose from and I took that week off. I spent almost 600 dollars buying tickets and travel items just to visit them and the city. And for the weeks leading up to it, we discussed what we planned todo for the week. When it can time to fly over, I got on the plane for the first flight and landed. Scarlet is a night owl and I assumed was still asleep when I first got on the plane, but sent them a message on discord before I left. when I landed for my lay over my next flight was delayed, so I tried to call them to let them know, but they didn't pick up, again chocking it up to them sleeping or napping, I sent a message on discord and got on the next flight. I didn't get any error message at this point to tell me something was wrong. My second flight went by, and I land and gathered my things from baggage claim, when I tried to contact them. And quickly found out they blocked me on everything.
This came so far out of the blue I didn't know what todo, and slowly started to spiral into a panic attack (or at least that's the only way I can explain it), my first ever. I was across the country, the person I was supposed to meet Abandoned me before I even Landed. and I didn't know what I was going todo. I just Broke, It was a good hour before someone even noticed my decent into this panic attack. I felt more helpless and alone than I ever had before. Luckily my airline was able to help me get the next flight home, and helped me through the panic attack, but I have been numb since.
I told myself that I wont give up, but its hard. I just feel that no matter what I do, I wont ever make true friends. Ill just be discarded the second they feel like it. I have been trying to make friends since the end of high school, and I can count on my fingers the amount of lasting connections I made, yet none of them really talk to me any more.
I'm lost and looking for any advice on where to go next. I'm tired and loosing the will to keep trying feeling like nothing is going to change. I'm tired of hearing about my siblings getting in and out of relationships while I cant even manage a friendship, especially when they lie about understanding about my situation.
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2023.06.05 05:49 CrucifyCaillou Which element of the show that was removed do you miss the most?
Rewatched a few older seasons recently (Pearl Islands, Vanuatu, Guatemala, and China) and I was just reminded of the old pieces of the show that I’m missing in this new era. Things that stood out to me were:
—the unique theme song/long intro for each season
—the Rites of Passage (it’s nice to get final comments from everyone and to hear what the final group thinks about each of them + the song is eternally stuck in my head)
—the organic progression of the story (as you proceed through the season, each episode feels like it’s building on “storylines” from the previous eps)
—the monotony of camp life: the conversations, the strange/hilarious events that occurred, the fishing, the misery through bad weather, etc
—the fact that everyone felt less seasoned for the most part; the contestants would just progress through the game, repair sheltefish/make fire and let the strategy develop organically, rather than getting to the beach and “gaming” right off the bat like the newer contestants do
—the unique, larger-than-life “characters” who filled certain roles, like the Caveman Southern Gentleman Bobby Jon, the evil villain Russell Hantz, the neurotic city girl student Eliza, the animal/challenge beast Ozzy, etc. The few “characters” that we get nowadays seem so forced, like they’re set up by the producers in episode one or some shit
Anyway, what do y’all think? I’m a big survivor fan but admittedly I don’t browse this subreddit much. I’ve tried to watch the past few seasons but I just lost interest
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2023.06.05 05:48 ThrowRA_Nightmare Where to go from here?
So over the last couple months, I learned this girl in my building has crush on me thru one of the workers.
Well, I finally ran into her yesterday and wondering what I do, do I DM her on the community app?
Basically I knew who she was cause of her a super fast Mercedes, but had no idea what she looked like. I ran into her on the roadway and we actually had some fun speeding.
Finally I ran into her and introduced myself we talked for like 2 mins. . She said let’s drive again. Do I just take it slow, or do I just send her a message on the app. I don’t have her number or anything. I’m sure I’ll see her again but likely only in passing.
Since I live there and love where I live I really wanna keep it as friendly as possible for as long as possible just until I’m definitely sure it’s a go forward.
I’m 28M she’s 35F.
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2023.06.05 05:47 EzekialX Vulturebeard: Bad Roomies Part 3
Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/ReddXReads/comments/13lfqkw/vulturebeard_the_legbeard_that_ruined_roomies_fo Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/ReddXReads/comments/13u79ht/vulturebeard_bad_roomies_part_2/ Hi again, it’s the bunny. I’ve just barely stepped into Reddx’s discord, but Ezekial is still posting this saga for me so thank you, Z. Trigger warning: This will deal with a lot of aspects relating to child neglect (and possible abuse) and Kid being ignored or taking the brunt of Vulture’s anger. Sorry for the spoiler as well, but I think we saw this coming, too (especially if you’ve seen Z talk in the discord). Don’t push yourself to read if you’re not okay with these concepts. The Cast List Bunny (author)
: 33, female. Recovering lifelong doormat slowly building a spine. Neuro spicy gym rat with major depressive disorder, general anxiety disorder, and most recently diagnosed with ADHD. Unfortunately, very familiar with surviving trauma. Z (poster)
: My partner. 31, nonbinary (they/them), also neuro spicy with depression, anxiety, OCD, BPD, autism, and also familiar with lifelong trauma. One Liner Beard (OLB)
: 33, male, neuro spicy with ADHD and depression. His nickname here comes from the fact that in messenger, he usually has one-word replies like “oof” or “mmm” as an acknowledgement he had seen the message but has nothing further to contribute. VultureBeard (Vulture)
: 30, female, neuro spicy and disabled with multiple conditions. She has Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, POTs (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome), autism, depression, anxiety, chronic migraines, but also possibly a list of things that may or may not be real. The star of this unfortunate circus. Her name comes from how she always pops up when I’m cooking food, complaining about how hungry is and how she’s unable to cook. Kid
: 3. Female. OLB and Vulture’s child. Likely neuro spicy like we all are, but she’s also only 3 years old. Slightly speech delayed and not potty trained yet. Take a deep breath. Now take another one. This chapter will likely make you mad.
Chapter Three: “Do You Want Bologna?” Or, Vulture as a Parent Imagine this
: it’s eight in the morning and you’re cozy in bed. The blankets are warm, and you hit snooze on your early alarm so you can sleep in before you have to get up.
Your peace is shattered by a toddler crying, followed by the screech of, “WHAT!”
or “GET DOWN FROM THERE!”
Yeah, welcome to The Life
Vulture has a messed-up sleep schedule. It’s partially because Kid doesn’t sleep soundly through the night, but it’s also because Vulture’s sleep schedule is essentially flipped backwards to where she stays up all night and wants to sleep during the day. Vulture says it’s “insomnia” but sometimes she’s up late gaming with Discord friends or watching anime. I couldn’t tell you which issue it was day by day. Sometimes if I go to sleep late, I hear Kid crying from her room because she had night terrors or had potty troubles. Sometimes I hear OLB and Vulture awake shuffling between rooms in the hallway.
Because of this, Vulture and mornings don’t mesh well. Kid is usually put in her room for bedtime around 7 PM, usually with her tablet to keep her company and either give her something to watch, or to play white noises for sleeping. Kid does not have a real sleep routine as well. She’s just kind of shut in her room. Sometimes there’s a bit of a routine like winding her down with chocolate milk and giving her a countdown of “okay, ten more minutes and then bedtime,” but for the most part she just does not want to go to bed. Bedtimes are met with a lot of crying, and the beardy parents telling us that she will be upset for a bit.
Kid has an attempted daily schedule, if Vulture is awake enough. Theoretically
- 9 AM: Awake and watching TV while Vulture is on her computer in the same room
- 1 PM: In the room for naptime (but it’s usually play time)
- 4 PM: Free to run around while dad is home
- 7 PM: Bedtime (but she’s usually playing then too)
But a lot of times, that schedule gets thrown out of whack depending on if Vulture gets up on time. When she sleeps in, Kid is in her room from 7 PM to 1 PM. Sometimes Kid will make a fuss to make Vulture get up earlier than 1 PM, and Vulture will be grouchy because she “went to bed at four in the morning” because she either had “insomnia” (read: gaming or watching anime) or because Kid wouldn’t sleep. Or Vulture will be up to take care of Kid and make sure she is in a clean pull up and has eaten. Then she shuts her into her room and goes back to sleep. Sometimes if Kid is too much of a handful, Vulture will say, “It’s 12:45. That’s close enough to 1.” And put Kid in the room because that’s close enough to nap time.
Sometimes because Kid won’t go to sleep, she’ll still be up at 9 PM and that breaks her schedule too. A lot of times, it works out that OLB is the “fun” parent while he’s home, because he’s up at 4 AM to leave for work by 6 and doesn’t come home until between 4 or 5 PM. Then she spends time with him while he’s home.
There’s also a child lock on the inside of Kid’s bedroom door, those doorknob covers that you have to push and turn, so she can’t open the door and wander around unsupervised. I was originally the one who suggested the child lock, back when she was younger, and they didn’t have the secondary child gate they currently do now that’s stored in the garage. Since then, with her potty training and Vulture’s likewise awful sleep schedule, I’ve suggested more than once that they take the door handle blocker off and put up the second kiddy gate they have to block the living room and kitchen off, so she can get up if she needs to, but the child lock still remains. At most, she would have access to their room, since it doesn’t have a kiddy lock on it. Me and Z’s bedroom has a child lock on it, as well as the bathroom door. She could freely wander between her room and her parents’ room that way.
I hear Kid playing in her room by herself a lot
, squealing and having fun and playing pretend. Or moving her furniture around. And no, the furniture is not secured to the wall, so she can move her bed around the room. I’ve also told OLB and Vulture they needed to make sure she can’t topple it and chain it to the wall but, yeah, that hasn’t been dealt with.
When Kid really needs attention, she will cry and wail. And I mean wail
. The two beardy parents don’t have baby monitors or anything that can hear into her bedroom, so she has to wail loudly enough to be heard through the walls. Luckily, the house has thin walls. Because of her early bedtime, she’s often awake early in the morning. Sometimes Vulture will respond, sometimes Vulture won’t wake up until around noon. Yes, that means Kid is by herself a lot.
Kid is a bubbly three-year-old. She loves it when Z and I give her attention, which admittingly isn’t as often as I would like to give her. With my own Depression™
, I spend so much time fighting to just gather enough mental energy to be a productive human. Despite me wandering in a mental fog, Kid remains a bright spot in my day. I met her when she was a fresh baby bean just barely out of the hospital, and I immediately fell in love. Since then, I’ve seen her grow almost her whole life, except for when they were all in north Texas. She has blue eyes and brown hair that will curl on its own. She loves dinosaurs, Baby Shark, Octonauts, and occasionally whatever anime the parents are watching. Don’t ask me how many times I’ve heard the Baby Shark song. I don’t want it stuck in my head for another solid week.
She used to watch a lot of Ms. Rachel’s Songs For Little videos, because originally Vulture wanted Kid to learn sign language to help communicate. I’ve rarely seen Vulture attempt to upkeep the sign language lessons. She did at one point. I think after Kid started becoming more vocal, the idea was dropped. I have heard some of the familiar videos so often that even I learned the kid’s songs, but I guess that’s also part of the collateral when dealing with kid’s media.
Kid usually exists in a half-dressed state, usually just wearing a pull up and that’s it. Unfortunately, because Vulture is so hard on her tangles when she tries to brush her hair, Kid doesn’t like hair care and will fight being brushed. Her hair used to exist in a perpetual state of being matted with at least one major knot, until Vulture’s mom ended up giving her a bath and getting her to stay still enough to endure the brushing, even with the wailing of a protesting Kid going strong. Her hair was then cut to make it more manageable, and strangely, that fixed a lot of the matting problems.
Kid is let out of her room when Vulture wakes up, usually needing a diaper change. At three years old, Kid is not potty trained yet. Just from what I’ve heard from my bedroom, it sounds like OLB and Vulture are finally starting to step up on potty training, but it’s been an uphill fight. I know a few of my other parent friends have had an extremely hard time potty training their kid. I’m not a parent, so I don’t actually know how challenging it can be. I do know though that it shouldn’t sound like the toilet is some kind of punishment for peeing in her cloth panties that they’re trying to switch her to. Or, that they try to get her to sit on the toilet when she has no interest in it and she ends up throwing a tantrum. Unfortunately, without much context, that’s how some bathroom trips sound.
Kid wears pull-ups to bed and the cloth underwear during the day, or sometimes just pull-ups. They’re trying to teach her how to recognize when her body has the potty urge, which she still doesn’t quite get right now. She has literally peed on the tile floor through her cloth undies. Vulture messaged the house chat once saying, “Kid just lifted her leg while in the rolling chair and peed all over the floor.
You know. Like a dog
With the potty-training trouble and Kid only sometimes in pull-ups that can contain her mess, Z and I don’t let her into our room as often as we’d like to, because she doesn’t recognize when she has to go. It sucks, because Kid adores spending time with us and our room has cool animals, like my retired psychiatric service dog and our three ferrets. She loves the ferrets. But if we spend time out in the living room with everyone, Z’s patience tends to have a shorter fuse because they can’t stand Vulture (that’s also another tale I have
). We’re also stuck out in the general mess of the living room if we are out there with her. It’s either the general mess that toddlers make, spilled food, and general filth. The best times we’ve had spending time with Kid is just chilling in our room as she ooh’s and ahh’s
over the ferrets or watches TV with us. Z and I quote SpongeBob line by line daily, and she has watched some of the show with us.
I feel awful about shutting Kid out so much, when I see the way Vulture interacts with her. On Vulture’s bad days (if you read the previous post, that’s almost every day), she acts like Kid is a chore. She will snap at Kid, act like Kid is choosing to act out of maliciousness and make “tired mom” jokes that sound like she just flat out doesn’t like Kid. When I had liquor in the fridge, Vulture would ask if she could take a shot because, “I need it. She’s trying me today.
Some choice quotes talking down about the kid:
“I’m being hard on her because she’s not using her words. Like I know she can. She just doesn’t want to.
” This was what Vulture said to me after Kid kept trying to get her attention and wouldn’t explain what she wanted. Kid was just making noises at her and getting frustrated. Vulture full on shouted, “WHAT!
” at her, then turned to me to try and explain why she shouted.
“This is the bad part about being a mom. She’s not letting me do anything right now.
” This was said after Vulture cleaned her desk and was attempting to watch YouTube videos and play her Switch.
On her good days, Vulture will be that kind of smiling parent that does some art activities and engages with Kid in a way that’s more than just screaming. They color together. She offers Kid choices so Kid can have some control over what happens in her day, like, “Do you want bologna or fruit?
” It has helped Kid become more vocal and even though she’s still speech delayed, she talks more and has a bigger vocabulary.
The house has a different atmosphere when OLB is home, compared to when Vulture is just watching Kid by herself. I’ve told OLB that I think Vulture is burned out. Her entire life is her disabilities and being a mom. She only has friends on Discord really, and OLB had to push her to start talking to them again just so she had someone to socialize with.
Old Doormat me pitied her at the beginning of our friendship. I tried being her friend. I tried to include her and Kid in a lot of things. My own mental health, my daily obligations, my gym schedule, and just me changing rapidly since 2020 altered my life, exhausted me, and left me unable to deal with Vulture talking a million miles a minute, info dumping about whatever she’s currently doing every single time I run into her. And as I shed my doormat self, I started seeing her clearly.
I told OLB once that if Vulture is truly burned out or if her health problems are causing that much trouble, Kid might need daycare or another caregiver to help. OLB is aware but can’t afford other care. He’s working for bottom of the barrel pay at a full-time job. Most days after work, he just wants to zone out to his own games in front of his computer but has to step in and parent both Vulture and Kid, because Vulture often needs help organizing through executive dysfunction to do something. Or, because she will call for his help.
There was one time where Kid climbed on top of her, and Vulture called for OLB – who was in the same room – to pull Kid off her. There are quite a few times where Vulture calls for OLB for help with Kid, and I’ve heard him say that he’s also busy too. One time he asked, “Why are you asking for my help when you’re closer?
Z has offered to look after Kid at times because they don’t mind Kid being in our room or just hanging out. She has hung out with us when I also have the mental energy and the room is clean enough to accommodate a toddler crawling on everything. The problem that we both see is that our stepping in isn’t a full solution. She can spend a few hours with us, but ultimately after, she goes right back to Vulture and OLB. Vulture is the one who acts like being a parent is a chore.
There are times that OLB has snapped at Vulture for the way she gets on to Kid, emphasizing, “She’s just a child.
” Their parenting styles are like looking at two entirely different planets and trying to find similarities. OLB is very much into the gentle parenting side of Tik Tok. He talks about breaking generational trauma. He’s usually gentle with Kid, explaining why she’s not allowed to do things like stand on top of her highchair or why I’m too busy to play with her as I’m zooming around the house in and out repeatedly some days. He has talked her down from meltdowns and keeps his voice even to where she can’t bounce off him to amplify her tantrums. He spanks her, but as a last resort, and then also talks to her about why the punishment happened. She will wail through everything and likely isn’t fully listening, but ultimately, I see him trying to work with her. He very rarely loses his actual temper with her.
Vulture is the total opposite. She yells at Kid, spanks with no hesitation and doesn’t explain why. One of Kid’s favorite games to play is “Block the door
” when I’m trying to get through the house. She will block my bedroom door, cling to me, then circle around me as Vulture or OLB tries to distract her or lure her away by asking “do you want chocolate
” or some other treat. Sometimes Kid just likes to play ring-around-the-rosie around my legs, as her parents try to grab her. I try to make it fun and seem like I’m not mad at her, because I’m never actually mad at her for blocking my way. Usually, I’m just in the middle of some arbitrary task or running an errand or coming back from the gym with my one remaining brain cell barely hanging on for dear life. I try to engage with her and play it off as a game because she’s not actually doing anything wrong.
Vulture has lured her away with chocolate and treats, with offers of food, with trying to get her to pick a show to watch. If that fails, she will come and fetch Kid by hand. One time involved yanking her physically off me and spanking her on the bare bottom because Kid was happy playing a game instead of listening.
The bare bottom is a thing, too. Because Kid used to live in soiled diapers for much longer than she was supposed to, she had constant diaper rash that she had to see the doctor for sometimes. She also didn’t want OLB or Vulture to change her diapers and would scream when it was diaper change time. I don’t blame her. The diaper rash hurt, and Vulture wasn’t exactly gentle with changing. Kid bled sometimes with the changings. So now, sometimes Kid will be dressed like Donald Duck in only a top to air out her bottom. Or because now, with the cloth undies, she will pee straight through them, and they just let her air out after.
Kid always smells a bit like pee. So does her room. And her bedding. After I pointed out that her bedding straight out of the dryer smelled like urine, OLB went about cleaning the washing machine with a machine cleaner, and bought scent beads to help cut the smell, after I told him that a little vinegar in the wash load will cut the smells down. Now her bedding doesn’t smell so much like urine, but it’s still there.
Her bedroom frequently smells like a public bathroom. It always looks like her bedroom has been turned upside down, with toys everywhere, her bed pushed to the middle of the room, the mattress on the floor. Books she was given were shredded, even the cardboard ones. There was straight up garbage left in her room because she was given food to eat there that had wrappers. It usually takes Vulture a full day of cleaning to get the room organized when she had the energy to do it, but she usually sanitizes with just a baby wipe, if she does at all. Maybe a pet cleaner sometimes.
There was one time where I was letting the dogs outside and I stepped in a puddle on the tile floor. That was when I realized that it was a pee puddle and Kid’s cloth underwear was dripping. I asked Vulture to clean the puddle up. When she asked to use my steam mop, she didn’t clean the cloth pad after, so when I turned the mop on next, it smelled like hot, steamed urine. I had to clean the mop pad off myself and rinse the pee out of it. When Kid again peed in front of the TV in her cloth undies, I told OLB that if they’re going to use my steam mop to make sure that the mop pad is rinsed off or it will smell like pee the next time it’s used, but he said he was just going to use his mop and bucket. Thankfully.
Because of the diet that OLB and Vulture has, Kid also eats like them. She gets a lot of macaroni, a lot of random odds and ends like pieces of bread, baggies of cheerios, sometimes fruit and vegetables. Lots of chicken nuggets and frozen instant food. Occasionally, Kid will have an interest in vegetables she sees us cook with or that she’s never had. Like once she insisted that she wanted to eat canned peas, until she tasted them. She chewed on a lettuce leaf and put it down, then asked for another one because she wanted to eat something, and it looked tasty to her.
The two halves of the household make separate foods now and keep out of each other’s food, but sometimes Vulture will give Kid some of the food I cooked because Kid saw my spaghetti noodles in a bowl and insisted on having them by way of tantrum. Instead of asking me if it’s okay (which obviously, I’d say yes, Kid can have some), Vulture just gave her my food and then told me after. Maybe I’m just projecting my own frustration, but it feels like Vulture uses Kid as a shield sometimes, to get food. Unless I have a specific purpose for food like what I put in my meal prep containers, I wouldn’t say no to Kid.
Kid’s diet makes me worried for her as she grows up. OLB is big and tall, over 6 feet tall and over 300lbs. They aren’t an active family at all. Kid drinks soda when they get fast food. She eats as much processed food as Vulture. Right now, she’s growing like a weed and is tall and actually has some power in her tiny limbs, which is most noticeable when she climbs you like a ladder, but her parents are gamers that just sit around. Her own screen time is almost as lengthy as theirs is.
I worry about Kid, constantly. Z does too. We have theorized calling CPS, or trying to adopt her, or just getting her away from Vulture. We have thrown around ideas about talking to OLB and convincing him that Vulture isn’t a good person for Kid. A lot of it has stayed in theory because the anxious part of me is still afraid to make life-altering waves like that. I second-guess and gaslight myself into realizing how bad things are, but then telling myself, maybe I’m just blowing it out of proportion. Maybe it's just something they have to handle. Maybe it’s something a first-time parent needs to learn. Maybe Vulture just isn’t feeling good that day. Maybe, maybe, maybe
It’s a leftover of the doormat I used to be, and I know that. The tiny fragment of anxiety that tells me I’m blowing things up into too big a deal. The tiny fragment that escaped a toxic marriage and just wants peace after arguing every single day. The side that hates confrontation.
Maybe I’m just a plain ol’ coward. I don’t know yet. I just know my patience is running thinner with every passing day
I don’t think I could convince OLB to dump Vulture. From what I’ve seen on the surface, they’re not openly affectionate. Vulture complains all the time that OLB doesn’t give her any physical affection, and she (unfortunately
) tells me when they’re intimate, which doesn’t sound often. They almost look like they could be friends that are co-parenting. She calls him her husband when they’re out in public, and OLB has stated that he doesn’t want anything to happen to her, because he doesn’t want a single parent. I assume at the very least that he does love her, even though he sounds exhausted all the time. Z and I wonder if maybe he feels trapped.
OLB is good at asking for help if he needs it, although he hates being a burden to others. He will speak up if Vulture needs a ride to a doctor’s office, and he forgot to leave the car seat at home. I’ve driven to his work to pick it up after he messaged me asking if I could. They ask his family to babysit Kid if they want to go out and just have a good date or see a movie together. They are clearly capable of asking for help.
This is just an acceptable standard for both, or at least that’s the way it seems to me. Sometimes, I don’t truly know if OLB is aware of what Vulture does while he’s at work. He didn’t know that she used his 11-year-old dog as a vacuum cleaner to clean up spilled table scraps until I pointed it out and then he pieced together why his dog wasn’t losing weight on a reduced kibble diet. Sometimes I have pointed out things to him that he might not notice in the house chat.
I started keeping a log in Google Docs about things I notice, and Z and I talk about it in discord, so it’s not heard by ears that are too close to our bedroom. The log started helping me see that I’m not just blowing out of proportion and that in turn helped me come here to reddit. As a former doormat in recovery, I still have to tell myself that it’s okay to realize that something is wrong, and that I may need help getting my voice to speak up.
I haven’t worked since 2017, when my mental health took a sharp nosedive. Z is currently looking for work. Both of us are home all day exposed to Vulture and how she treats Kid. With my own daily tasks, errands, struggling with mental health, there’s still a side of me that berates me that I need to be taking care of Kid. Getting her up, making sure she eats. Pestering Vulture to get up. This is also where I tangle with the former doormat that still lives in me, because one, I don’t want to enable Vulture to get even worse. With someone taking the burden off of her, that gives her more free time to just sit back and game. It isn’t my job to make sure that Vulture is a good parent, yet somehow, I feel like it’s also my fault that she’s as bad as she is while I sit by the wayside and just talk about her behind her back. There are times where I have pestered OLB through discord about Kid crying, or how Kid is trying to beat the door down, or asking if Vulture is up for the day because I haven’t seen her up at three in the afternoon.
I started speaking up when I noticed something that’s off. I call this the “cheese incident
.” We had a block of cheese that was cut in the wrapper and not in anything else, so the exposed end got all hard and inedible. I cut it off and threw it away. Vulture made her way into the kitchen because Kid saw me cutting cheese and wanted some. Vulture
: Who threw away that cheese? (SHE PICKS IT UP OUT OF THE TRASH CAN) Me
: Yeah, it’s got that hard bit Vulture
: So? I know someone who will eat it. (She calls Kid over) Me
: But it was in the trash. Vulture
: It’s okay, I cut off the part that was touching the trash. Me
: Dude, that’s fucked up. Vulture
: (hesitating now) Should I not? Me
: That’s probably going to make her sick again. (Kid has been sick back-to-back at this point) Vulture
: Okay, then I won’t. (To this day, I don’t know if she threw the cheese away or ate it herself, and I’m afraid to ask)
That was the point where I started pointing out that what she’s doing is problematic. It’s a slow process, but it’s helped me put the doormat side of me away again. I’ve explained to Vulture that Kid isn’t crying to be malicious, she just can’t express what she wants. Especially with Kid’s speech delay!
Kid gets frustrated fast when adults don’t understand her, and the wailing begins. There’s no maliciousness behind it, just frustration. Or how Kid doesn’t like being told “no” because she doesn’t always understand why. Strangely, every time I call something out, she doesn’t really have much of a fight against it. But why am I having to say it in the first place?
There’s little things that just rub me the wrong way in how they interact. Sometimes Vulture will call Kid over in the same way you’d call a dog. Repeatedly
. Sometimes Vulture, in a state of migraine or other illness-related grouchiness will scream at her “Leave me alone!
” and OLB will have to fetch Kid. One time, Z told me that Vulture outright mocked her crying by making her own crying noise.
What’s awful to watch in person is that when Vulture’s mom or siblings are over, Vulture is suddenly a doting mom who isn’t perpetually exhausted or loudly complaining about how her “everything
” hurts. She talks in an overly sweet voice to Kid. It unsettles me with how two-faced it seems. OLB, Vulture, and Kid go have dinner with OLB’s family every Sunday evening, and I can’t help but wonder how two-faced she is there, as well. Some of OLB’s family doesn’t like Vulture to begin with.
Slowly, I am losing patience at how Vulture behaves, especially with the Kid. I had to un-gaslight myself, start logging her behavior, and talk to other people to really see it for what it was. I told multiple friends about it and we all generally have the same consensus that Vulture is just an unfit parent. If her chronic illnesses are truly interfering with her life that much, she shouldn’t be the majority caregiver through the day. But it’s not like OLB would be able to work from home or be the stay-at-home parent. In a perfect world, I would be able to help more as well, but I’m barely the “fun
” aunt. I’m barely equipped to help care for a three-year-old. Hell, most days I’m barely an actual person. Kid deserves better.
Bottom line, Kid deserves better than what this house can give. I am upset with myself over my lack of action, but the logs have only been growing bigger. Every day, the doormat dies a little more.
Vulture herself though, will likely always be a side show. One thing that Z pointed out to me was that, as the doormat I used to be, I would give everything to help someone even when I was mentally exhausted. I enmeshed myself too much into the lives of my friends because I loved making them happy and making their lives easier. It’s gotten me into some awkward territory with Vulture, because some things were interpreted as more than friendship.
You ready to cringe more? Because the next part is going to deal with polyamory, the desire for open relationships, and the main reason why Z despises her – and that’s putting it mildly. Take a moment to un-cringe yourself. It ain’t over yet.
submitted by EzekialX
to ReddXReads [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 05:46 tchvic97 Is an offer required before applying for Permission to Teach (PTT)?
I'm a preservice teacher (VIC) in my final year, who's just finished my final placement (yay!). I don't graduate until end of the year, and I'm curious about PTT. The VIT website is (notoriously) unclear and I'm confused about what I can/can't apply for. On this website
it states "a teacher cannot apply for permission to teach until the VIT has approved an employer’s application for PTT," however theFAQs here
seem to suggest that I can apply for "PTT Covid-19" category.
- Is there more than one category for PTT? Which am I eligible to apply for?
- Do I need to have a formal offered lined up to work in a school?
- I've heard of people who've done CRT work under the PTT, but according to the website that isn't allowed...?
Would love to hear from any of you who have applied / are working under the PTT.
Thank you in advance!
submitted by tchvic97
to AustralianTeachers [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 05:46 Lost-Beach3122 Clone Cast Idea If The Originals Left
- Trưng Trắc: Clone of one of the famous duo the Trung Sisters, though she is one of the more popular girls at Clone High, she is heavily disliked because of her dominant, nasty, and selfish personality, making her close to nobody at first. She tries to shed Nhi's duality and seemingly trampling on her as she does so. Although she is initially shaken by Nhi's lesbianism, she eventually accepts it, but is hesitant to embrace Nur Jahan.
- Trưng Nhị: Clone of the other Trung Sister and is the main protagonist of her generation. With her quiet and introverted personality, Nhi is often bullied and taken advantage of by her dominant twin sister and depends on Trắc to be the dynamic one. As the seasons progresses, she begins to come out of her shell and strives for individuality. She began the season as a closeted lesbian, but eventually comes out to her friends and loved ones, including Nur Jahan, with whom she is in love. She develops a friendship with Alexander The Great, and allows him to lose his virginity with her, despite their sexual orientations. This, among other issues including Nur cheating on Nhi, causes problems between the couple over seasons six and seven although they reunite in the final episode of season six. She is angered when Nur never told her about her (Nur Jahan's) terminal cancer by the first episode of season seven but stays by her side as she dies.
- Alexander: A teenage clone of the legendary historical figure, Alexander the Great, Alexander is fiercely competitive and has a strong desire for greatness, always striving to be at the top of his game. He tries to hide his sexuality by banging as much women as possible but later accepts his identity.
- Janis "Jan" Joplin: Clone of Janis Joplin, Jan is a rebellious and free-spirited teenage clone who often gets into trouble and has a habit of stealing people's wallets. She sports a vibrant and eclectic style and has an aura of confidence and nonconformity, always embracing her unique personality.
- Caligula: Teenage clone of Roman emperor Caligula, he is known for his wild and impulsive behavior, often engaging in outrageous pranks and stunts that leave others both intrigued and bewildered. Caligula has a mischievous sense of humor penchant for acting mad, fun and is hard to handle and to the other clones.
- Charlemagne: The clone of Charlemagne, he admires his "clonefather" and tries to live up to him. He deals with a love triangle between Jan and Mary Tudor, but always ends up dating Lizzie.
- "Bloody" Mary Tudor: The Clone of english queen Mary Tudor and is a very cynical, grumpy, and angsty goth. Her adopted mother has been having an affair with her adopted father's boss, which turns out to be the reason why her parents got divorced. Mary becomes involved in a love triangle with Charlemagne and Jan and ends up winning in the end.
- Guy Fawkes: Clone of Guy Fawkes, a clone of Guy Fawkes and Charlemagne's best friend. He, like Charles, is struggling to live up to his "clonefather" Guy Fawkes, continually trying to blow up the school and failing.
- Principal Scudsworth
- Mr. Butlertron
- Candide Sampson
Recurring and Background Characters
- Nur Jahan: The clone of Mughal Queen Nur Jahan, a passionate, political, and principled individualist. She questions her sexual orientation at the beginning of and later enters a relationship with Trung Nhi, despite many obstacles such as 's sexual act with Alexander The Great, Nur's insecurity with her sexuality and The Trung Sisters's adopted family taking a dislike to her. After cheating on Nhi, their relationship becomes strained but they reunite in the final episode of Season 6. Nur would die of cancer at the start of Season 7.
- Oliver Cromwell: The clone of Puritan Oliver Cromwell, Oliver's political views are on the other side of the political spectrum of his clone father's, being the most far left politically correct person as possible.
- Elizabeth "Lizzie" Bathory: Clone of Elizabeth Bathory, she is a creepy and deranged girl who Charlemagne would date to get Jan and Mary to leave him alone. She once kidnapped Guy Fawkes for ransom.
- Boudica (background character)
- Pocahontas (background character)
submitted by Lost-Beach3122
to clonehigh [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 05:45 CallMePapi930 I’ve been saying the same thing about MPJ for years
This team will always be missing out on another level they could reach offensively until they learn how to get MPJ the ball.
There were so many times in the 4th where he’s open on the weak side and Jamal can’t get him the ball cause he’s not a great passer. I love Mal, we all know how amazing he is but that just one of his flaws. If that was Trae, Luka, CP3, or Hali they would’ve got MPJ the ball. Obviously Mal is better than CP3 and Hali I’m just saying.
It’s like if MPJ misses his first few shots or goes 1-3 he only gets the ball once every 5 minutes. You can’t expect the guy to be in rhythm when you’re using him that way. They don’t call any plays for the guy and he’s being grouped in with AG, KCP, and BB as the role players.
And this year that is what he’s been, his focus was on staying healthy but I can’t be the only one who remembers when he was putting up 22 a night in 2021 after the all star break and it wasn’t just off purely 3s.
His growth this year as far as defense and passing has been good but at the end of the day he’s a scoring machine.
He won’t be the 3rd option and guy he can be on this team until he’s prioritized like one.
submitted by CallMePapi930
to denvernuggets [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 05:45 IntegralofDankdx hello fellow redditors, please help me encapsulate my soul into a personality type!
How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
17, almost 18 (I know I also ask myself why im on reddit, corrupting my brain from such a young age), female.
Hello all. I'd say I'm kind of aloof, but competitive. I hate uncomfortable clothing, and honestly its a drag to get me to go outside. But if it's some game or sport, I'm absolutely down. I think one of the best human feelings is feeling the fresh air conditioner wind against your body as you destroy your 6 foot friend in badminton with your superior strategy and reflexes. In all seriousness, I'm heading into college to study mechanical engineering and actually thinking of using a ton of my AP credits to get out of classes and replace them with bio and chem classes to head to medical school after. Not that I am dissatisfied with engineering, in fact, my reasoning behind these seemingly weird plans is to get the full fundamental background of the engineering and doctor world. I feel anxious about my survival without it, if that makes any sense. I wasn't kidding about liking games and being competitive, I have been doing fencing for almost half my life, and I plan to continue fencing on a national level in college. But apart from that hobby which requires you to step foot outside the house, I genuinely have a hard time getting myself to touch grass. In fact, this weekend was an achievement when I touched grass 3 whole days in a row. Not joking. People noticed I got tanner lmao. Some people think I'm pretty quiet, while others feel im pretty obnoxious. This can be accredited to my ever changing energy levels and lack of filter and need to stfu sometimes. Though sometimes, I really do get quiet. I've grappled with trying to figure out whether my first function is introverted or extroverted, but honestly I end up gaslighting myself each time so it doesn't work. As for general hobbies, im a YouTube gremlin, a mathy science-y kinda kid, trying to get into chess more (im basically an average intermediate rn and by fear of being destroyed by an anonymous person across the world online really makes this process difficult), unfortunately watch anime, and secretly an art kid.
This is a tangent but I dont know maybe it will help diagnose my personality lmao, I feel that math and science is 10x more enjoyable when you learn the history of HOW the things come about. Like last week, I was kind of fed up with the notion of imagining Newton creating all of calculus on his own to help with his physics stuff, so I went looking into it and learned a lot about how the concept of infinity and infinitesimally small numbers was around even in the Greeks era, and that a LOT of foundation had already been made (not discrediting Newton btw, he was a beast its just kind of annoying that the history of how thought came to be isn't taught... how are we supposed to create new ideas when we're instilled with the easy path of memorization)
Also also, I feel that the "STEM FIELD" is being treated as a totally different entity from linguistics and philosophy, and that also kind of makes me feel robbed of the education people COULD receive. I think there's a lot to be said about how the skills from art and literature do in fact transfer creatively to the "strict" fields of mathematics.
Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
Nope, just me and my brain.
Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
Parents aren't really religious at all though my mom claims she internally religious but doesn't really need to prove it externally, it's pretty chill. In that sense, my upbringing has had little to no influence from religion and was fairly unstructured. My parents gave me WAYYY more freedom than most kids, and I'm extremely thankful for it. This freedom is what has allowed me to test my limits of self control, my own self discipline, and has taught me much. Yes, freedom can backfire on some kids, but honestly as a kid most of my internet interests were genuinely educational, and with of course the load of Minecraft videos to binge watch. Honestly I feel im worse off now, where YouTube is becoming glorified tik Tok and I feel my brain rotting.
As for my actual upbringing in school, it wasn't the smoothest of rides. I don't know what it was, but it seemed that even since kindergarten, genders were split in friend groups, or friend groups split by races, even if it was unconscious. I was a kid who just wanted to run around and have fun, so it made sense that I would want to be with "the boys" LMAO, but its kind of impossible to insert yourself into such a group, especially when my social skills were absolute nil. Maybe it was because English was technically my second language, or maybe I just cognitively was slow, but I would miss directions in class, and overall got in trouble a little bit and was never a model student.
Something changed in middle school. With the shift to grades and my brain deciding to work, I became a good student and had some friends, but was still bullied on my bus constantly. I didn't care though, I just wanted to be friends with them, so I tried to not be left out and obviously it didn't work out. You know how kids figure out at one point that they can think about their own thoughts, and that the world doesn't revolve around them? Well, the former came to me really easily because I'd talk to myself in the backyard a ton. But the latter wasn't so simple. My family was supportive and made me feel intelligent and bright, but at school, I felt terribly insecure of my intelligence, my physique, my humor, my everything. So I studied the "cool" people, the "funny" people. I wanted to figure out what it took to be funny and to receive that validation from teachers and peers. I wanted to see how I could act smart and get people to notice me for being intelligent. Mix those feelings of envy and desperation with someone naturally competitive and a little arrogant, you get a pretty insecure little penguin.
Now as a senior in high school, retrospectively, I see that college isn't everything, that intelligences come in all sorts and shapes and honestly everyone is like a video game character with different perks and attributes. I learned that hard work is honestly probably one of the most over powered skills in the game of life, and best of all, I regained a lot of lost self worth, which allows me to actually empathize with people and engage with society in a more fulfilling manner. I say what I think and feel, even as a people pleaser, I just turn off that filter because why not, I can't really change that part of me. But I've definitely learned when to back off, how people want to be comforted, and what it means to actually care for others. Not that I didn't care before, I just couldn't see it and wouldn't acknowledge it because then in my mind I would have been weak.
If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Ngl, this is most weekends, and I'm totally fine with it. I don't like going out because of the chore it takes to put on clothes and look all presentable and then deal with the humidity of the outside world. HOWEVER, I'm not going to lie, I do really enjoy going out with friends sometimes and it does make my week when I do. I feel most refreshed when I've gotten some social time done, but also some productive things done: like finishing that month overdue paper, and actually learning something for personal benefit.
What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I really like windy weather, or like an air conditioned gym. I'm quite good at sports and attune pretty quickly to most. As I mentioned before, I'm a competitive fencer but I'm pretty good at ping pong, badminton, volleyball. Used to do track and was a 100m sprinter (was pretty spankin good) but then it got boring because there wasn't much of a GAME aspect to the sport. and also bad asthma lol.
How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
People say I think of crazy ideas, but honestly one of my fears is that I'm not thinking of ENOUGH ideas. Whenever someone else needs an idea, poof, I got one. But for myself? My brain sabotages me.
I strongly like dealing with the conceptual. Conceptual things are just so much cooler and easier to deal with and generally speaking, more revolutionary and groundbreaking.
My ideas can range from dumb comic ideas about a brain being like a dog to strange tangents on how people's lives are interconnected, or how before we're born we can decide our life difficulty level, just weird things to think about to make excuses for any predicament XD
Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
It's awful honestly, I seem to dream of being in charge, but I'm god awful at it. I cannot for the love of god snake people out of money, or charisma people into believing a product works when it doesn't, or tell someone that they aren't working hard enough (pains me more honestly), it just doesn't work. My leadership only works in a controlled environment where everyone WANTS to get somewhere, but honestly, I think as a brain I'm better as someone on the sidelines thinking up funny things that might work.
Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
My dad collects paintings, had a large exposure to art as a child. I draw pretty freakishly well for someone that doesn't practice much. I tend to draw on anything in the corner, but big pieces? Nah, not unless I have to make some gift or project. Used to be into animation, still am very into ink art, etching, anything black and white. But I love looking at sculptures and oils, honestly I'm never gonna make a good sculpture, im incapable, but its heckin' awesome when other people can.
What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I get too nostalgic, but I look back and look forward to get rid of the present so there's that. The future brings me some anxiety, so to ease it I'll write basic things I need to accomplish somewhat soon in my notes app to ease the black hole of the future. But nostalgia, man, it kills me. Worst part is when you can't tell if what you're remembering even happened. You gaslight yourself into a situation you can't even confirm. And then there's the issue of figuring out if you supposed to feel the way you feel when you look back on things, it a whole mess. Lately I've been looking forward mostly and consciously filtering out the things I look back on to achieve more happiness.
How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
love helping people. you need my homework? I gotchu. I don't know, I like acquaintances. I have no qualms about helping somebody out, I know I wish people would help me out when I asked. I hate the whole "you got to be friends first" kind of deal, we're all human aint we?
Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
Nope. I need control of my life first lol
How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I break things down enough to where I can wing things. I'm a major procrastinator, but I get things done and I make sure they're done well. Very perfectionistic and self critical about anything I make, even if it's just for school.
What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I've realized lately, my greatest fear is hating life and feeling unhappy. I absolute hate the feeling of not wanting to exist or losing self worth, its worse than any external loss. Of course though, I fear losing my family as well. As to hating things, I don't hate people. It's strange, but I keep on forgiving people far too easily. It's just that in every situation, there are always two sides, and I ALWAYS give them the benefit of the doubt. Because for me to do anything, I have to know I'm 100% right.
What do the "highs" in your life look like?
Feeling content, learning, talking, having control over my life and achieving new things and feeling a brighter future coming.
What do the "lows" in your life look like?
binging YouTube, not going outside, not learning new things, reaching out to people for entertainment and not willing to complete simple school tasks out of fear of confronting the amount of things I've laid off.
How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
Daydream wayyyyyy too often. I mean I've daydreamed I was a 9 year old being hired by Elon musk for 2 whole hours in front of my mirror. I know, it's not okay. Dunno how aware I am of the surroundings but I can snap out of it pretty fine. But daydreaming is really fun, problem is, I can't keep doing it because then I know im procrastinating on something and I feel guilty. day dreaming is awesome when you know there's nothing else to do so you might as well think about something cool.
Sorry for writing so much, just finished a statistics final project and just needed to distract myself.
Thank you so much for anyone that reads through this whole things, big thanks, and thank u for all the typers!
submitted by IntegralofDankdx
to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 05:44 cherrytreehoneybees I turned my 3 year old into a domestic terrorist
Bromos, I’m in desperate need of help with my toddlers behavioral problems.
Before I start, you are probably gonna read this and be like “damn this kid needs to see a professional.” ….Duh. Currently in the process of applying for Medicaid + being connected with child psychologist and early interventionists who take Medicaid but this shit is complicated and they all have absolutely insane waiting lists so. My baby will see a specialist but it won’t happen tomorrow. And this problem needed to be addressed like.. yesterday.
Anyways on to the issue. My 3 year old is an absolute nightmare. I know most toddlers tend to be pretty hard to deal with but I am certain this goes past the normal scope. If you have read any of my previous posts you know I just left an extremely abusive relationship. Well any day where both me and my ex were at home consisted of me acting as a buffer between my children and him. He had virtually no patience for them and was very quick to anger. Judging by the injuries he inflicted upon me I knew how violent he could get very quickly and I needed to keep him from ever putting his hands on one of my girls.
What would end up happening is he would very rarely engage with my toddler so he had no idea how to handle her. His fuse was short and I would see him grow impatient at any sort of normal toddlerhood defiance and immediately remove her from the situation. He was extremely irritated at the sound of her crying so usually this resulted in me sticking her in front of a screen and giving into her demands. Whatever she wanted she got. I needed to keep her in a good mood at all times because I knew what might happen if my husband even overheard a meltdown. When he was away, I was so exhausted and beat down physically and emotionally that I couldn’t handle any type of boundary setting and the tantrums that would ensue. Seriously I don’t think this kid has ever heard the word no in her life until quite recently. Long story short, I let her run the house and walk all over me to keep her safe.
But now we are out and day by day I slowly but surely find my way out of survival mode and into real parenting. My daughter is really struggling. She has been having meltdowns every couple hours. She will refuse to do any and everything I ask of her even if it’s something that she wouldn’t have had an issue with before. She is screaming and crying all the time. Every time we get in the car she will scream te entire ride. It’s exhausting and I don’t know how much more of this I can take. Constant negotiations. She won’t sleep at all/ will barely eat and nothing has worked. I try to stand my ground and remain firm on my boundaries but I honestly don’t think she takes me serious at all. She knows that if she puts up enough of a fight she gets what she wants. She’s right, that’s how it’s always been. Why would things be different now?
Arguably the most concerning is her acts of violence (physical and verbal) towards me and others. I worry that her little brain picked up on her dads behavior. He would often yell obscenities and berate me in front of her. Recently when she gets upset of disregulated she will lash out and say very hurtful things to me (ex: fucking bitch, useless slut, annoying bitch, I wish you would die, threatening to hurt/punish me, etc) that she could have only heard from him. She will also throw things, hit, and bite herself and others when she is upset with the goal of injury.
It’s gotten to the point where I do not feel comfortable letting her play with the other toddlers (my friends kids) in the home because she has such a short temper and I am scared she will harm them. I also don’t even want to take her out in public because I am embarrassed of her huge meltdowns and she gets so overstimulated. Not to mention hearing her call me those things and try to physically harm me has been extremely triggering for me.
I am also in the middle of a custody legal pursuit with the girls father and caring for my colicky infant. I am so exhausted and i don’t know how much longer I can go on like this. Getting her professional help is my number 1 top priority, but I need to know what I can do. How do I start?? She’s not going to be permanently like this right?? I didn’t raise a tiny version of my ex, did I..?
submitted by cherrytreehoneybees
to breakingmom [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 05:43 butterupthatbaconson should someone who wants fame/clout be worried about their secrets being let out once they’re finally famous? what are the chances of someone who gets clout and fame being exposed for all the naughty/kinky shit they did in the past before the fame?
submitted by butterupthatbaconson to AskReddit [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 05:41 kayla019283 31F USA - Looking for Long Term FRIENDSHIP
I want to find a friend who I can talk to and listen about other their life. I want this to be a mutual thing. You talk and I talk. So only reach out if you will put in the effort. I’m from the US, but it’s okay if you’re in another country, it will just be difficult to stay in touch because of the time differences, and what point does that serve if we would barely talk.
Also, texting is convenient and something we could do to stay in touch, but we also need to add calls to the mix. I don’t want to hear that you need to know me first.
MUST BE OKAY WITH CALLS. I’m not making anyone message me and do calls. That’s your choice, but if you do reach out it’s because you’re going to be doing calls with me :) And I saying talk on an app.
I enjoy walks and being out in the sun, now that the weather is getting warmer. I also enjoy Korean and Thai shows. I like K-pop and my favorite group is BLACKPINK.
I’m 31, probably too old for some of you. I’m single. I don’t have children. I’m in a good spot but just need that connect with people because I lack social skills.
If you’re married, don’t reach out. It is just uncomfortable.
If these times don’t work for you or you won’t be able to talk through these times then it won’t work.
I’m in MST, USA. I wake up at 5am Monday to Friday and 6am on weekends. I sleep around 11pm each night. I would like it if we could talk throughout the day and start and end our days together.
Thanks. Send me a chat request if you want to try this. Include your location and in your own words tell me what you are looking for. I also have other forms of communication if that works best for you.
submitted by kayla019283
to chat [link] [comments]
2023.06.05 05:40 AutoModerator [Download Course] Brett Kitchen & Ethan Kap – P2 Virtual Selling Accelerator (Genkicourses.site)
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Please be aware that our courses do not include community access. This is due to the fact that we do not have the authority to manage this feature. Despite our desire to incorporate this aspect, it is, unfortunately, unfeasible.
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