Horror Movies! Here are options for downloading or watching The Boogeyman streaming the full movie online for free on 123movies & Reddit, including where to watch Stephen King’s horror adaptation movie at home. Is The Boogeyman 2023 available to stream? Is watching The Boogeyman on Disney Plus, HBO Max, Netflix, or Amazon Prime? Yes, we have found an authentic streaming option / service.
➤►▶((>W𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 On Reddit: The Boogeyman 𝘍𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 on Free Online< 𝘌𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺The Movie))
“The Boogeyman,” a horror-thriller from the mind of best-selling author Stephen King, opens June 2, 2023, in theaters nationwide. High school student Sadie Harper and her younger sister Sawyer are reeling from the recent death of their mother and aren’t getting much support from their father, Will, a therapist who is dealing with his own pain. When a desperate patient unexpectedly shows up at their home seeking help, he leaves behind a terrifying supernatural entity that preys on families and feeds on the suffering of its victims.
The Boogeyman (2023) is the latest adaptation of the Stephen King classic. Here’s when and where you can watch the horror flick.
It’s not real? Keep telling yourself that! For the first time since 2022’s Firestarter, the legendary master of horror Stephen King, will have yet another one of his classic tales told with The Boogeyman. Directed by Host filmmaker Rob Savage and based on King’s short story of the same name, this terrifying story follows a young girl named Sawyer (Vivien Lyra Blair) as she is tormented by a malicious monster known only as “The Boogeyman.” What first sounds like a simple case of a child being afraid of the dark to Sawyer’s sister Sadie (Sophie Thatcher) and father Will (Chris Messina) turns out to be anything but, as this children’s tale turns out to be very real and very dangerous.
Stephen King adaptations are infamous for their variations in quality. For every masterpiece like The Shining, Misery, and The Shawshank Redemption, there’s an adaption less than stellar like Sleepwalkers, Maximum Overdrive, and Cell. In the case of The Boogeyman, it thankfully looks like we’re getting one of the better cases of a Stephen King story. Following its premiere at CinemaCon 2023, reactions to The Boogeyman have generally been quite positive, with Collider’s own Chase Hutchinson describing the film as a “frequently petrifying” adaptation.
The Boogeyman follows Sadie Harper and her young sister Sawyer after the recent death of their mother. Sadly, their father, Will, is not able to give them any sort of support through this as he is dealing with the death in his own way. A stranger comes knocking, claiming to need help from Will, who is a therapist, but what they allow inside their home is an evil entity.
With a strong start through decent reviews, The Boogeyman is bound to attract dedicated members of the horror film community. To learn more about how you can see Stephen King’s nightmare come to life, here is exactly where and how you can watch The Boogeyman.
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When is the Release Date for The Boogeyman?
Make sure you got plenty of batteries for your nightlight ready by next month because The Boogeyman will officially begin terrifying audiences everywhere starting on Friday, June 2nd, 2023. However, check your local theater listings for advanced screenings, as some theaters release the film as early as Wednesday evening on May 31st, 2023. Any parents eager to take their kids to go see Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse that same weekend should definitely make sure they’re walking into the proper theater, so they don’t accidentally scar their children for life with the titular monster.
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Is The Boogeyman in Theaters?
The only way to see Chris Messina take on a child-hunting monster is to head to your local movie theater, making the Boogeyman’s torment of the Harper family only viewable on the big screen. No plans for a streaming release have been made, but more on that in a moment.
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Where To Watch The Boogeyman Online:
➤►▶((>W𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 On Reddit: The Boogeyman 𝘍𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘔𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘦 on Free Online< 𝘌𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺The Movie))
As of now, the only way to watch The Boogeyman is to head out to a movie theater when it releases on Friday, June 2. You can find a local showing on Fandango.
Otherwise, you’ll just have to wait for it to become available to rent or purchase on digital platforms like Amazon, Vudu, YouTube and Apple, or become available to stream on Hulu.
The Boogeyman
How to Watch The Boogeyman
There’s been no official announcement regarding The Boogeyman’s streaming release date, though we know it will eventually be released on Disney+, rather than Netflix or HBO Max.
Since the movie was originally supposed to have a streaming release, we don’t doubt it will become available on streaming services at some point, with the most likely being Hulu since that had been the plan to begin with.
That would be Hulu. Don’t hold your breath on it, though! We strongly believe this is where the 20th Century Studios film will go, but this won’t be for a couple of months (or more) after the movie’s theatrical release. As soon as we learn more details, we’ll update you!
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When Will The Boogeyman Be On Streaming?
While no official streaming plans have been released by 20th Century Studios as of yet, given the recent release patterns of other films under the ownership of The Walt Disney Company, we can likely expect to see The Boogeyman arrive on streaming no more than ninety days after its theatrical release. Given that the horror film is a 20th Century Studios production and monsters eating children isn’t exactly “Happiest Place on Earth” material, The Boogeyman will likely be making its streaming home on Hulu rather than Disney+ (at least, for now).
Before we get into the various pricing plans for Hulu, we should also mention that The Walt Disney Company is confirmed to be planning a merge between Disney+ and Hulu, effectively putting all the massive media conglomerate’s content under one roof by the end of the year 2023. No specific date for this merger has been given yet, but the company has already begun purging their least profitable content to prepare for the transition. With that information in mind, the following subscription options for Hulu may not be valid for long, so be sure to be cognizant of that before signing up.
As of now, Hulu has two subscription plans: an ad-supported and ad-free plan. The ad-supported option offers most of Hulu’s streaming library with limited ads for $7.99 USD per month or $79.99 USD per year. The ad-free option removes most ads for a higher price of $14.99 USD per month. There are also the Disney Bundle options, including Disney+ and/or ESPN+ in addition to Hulu, but these will likely be reworked or removed entirely in the coming months with the upcoming merger.
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Is The Boogeyman on Netflix?
The Boogeyman isn’t currently available on Netflix, but you can catch it in theaters from June 2, 2023.
However, there is a great selection of Netflix horror movies, so you’ll still be able to find plenty to be scared of on the platform. And if you don’t currently have the service, we’ve got all you need to know about the Netflix price.
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Will The Boogeyman Be On HBO Max?
No, The Boogeyman will not be on HBO Max since it’s not a Universal Pictures movie. Last year, the company released its films in theaters and on the streamer on the same day. However, they now allow a 45-day window between the theatrical release and the streaming release.
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Is The Boogeyman on Disney Plus?
The Boogeyman isn’t currently available on Disney Plus, given that it’s showing exclusively in theaters for now.
It’s also probably not going to end up on there, since Disney Plus isn’t well-known for its horror catalog. That said, it may end up being the option for UK subscribers since Hulu and Disney content often merge for UK-based viewers. There are also plenty of Disney Plus movies and Disney Plus shows you can get stuck into otherwise.
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Is The Boogeyman on Prime Video?
The Boogeyman isn’t available to watch on Prime Video right now, but we’ll let you know if it does end up getting distribution there. If you’d like to see what else Prime has to offer, you can sign up for a free trial subscription here.
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Is The Boogeyman Available On Hulu?
Viewers are saying that they want to view the new horror movie The Boogeyman on Hulu. Unfortunately, this is not possible since Hulu currently does not offer any of the free episodes of this series streaming at this time. It will be exclusive to the MTV channel, which you get by subscribing to cable or satellite TV services. You will not be able to watch it on Hulu or any other free streaming service.
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How to Watch The Boogeyman Online For Free?
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There are a few ways to watch The Boogeyman online in the U.S. You can use a streaming service such as Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon Prime Video. You can also rent or buy the movie on iTunes or Google Play. You can also watch it on-demand or on a streaming app available on your TV or streaming device if you have cable.
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The Boogeyman Cast and Characters
The Boogeyman was written by Stephen King and directed by Rob Savage. It stars the following actors:
Sophie Thatcher as Sadie Harper
Chris Messina as Will Harper
Vivien Lyra Blair as Sawyer Harper
Marin Ireland as Rita
Madison Hu Bethany
LisaGay Hamilton as Dr. Weller
David Dastmalchian as Lester Billings
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What is The Boogeyman About?
High school student Sadie Harper and her younger sister, Sawyer, are still reeling from the recent death of their mother. They’re not getting much support from their father, Will, a therapist who’s dealing with his own intense pain. When a desperate patient unexpectedly shows up at their house seeking help, he leaves behind a terrifying supernatural entity that preys on families and feeds on the suffering of its victims.

We are currently seeking dedicated and talented volunteer storyboard artists to contribute to our upcoming horror drama web series, set to premiere on YouTube later this year (estimated release due to change). This unpaid opportunity offers a chance to be part of a captivating hour-length animation project that explores thrilling narratives and pushes creative boundaries.
Project Overview: The series is rooted in early 2000's digital horror roots, but has evolved over many months to develop a narrative more in line with something outside the genre of found footage. Without specific details, it delves into an alternate history with themes of oppression, political ideologies, flawed social expectations, death, disease, religion, and controversial topics handled with the sensitivity and care it needs to deliver a unique heartfelt and inspiring message to audiences. Our target demographic is adults and late teens interested in serious western adult animation projects.
Plot Summary: In the heat of a growing statewide pandemic, a late teenage emo boy assembles a band with his two best friends to distract himself from the harsh reality of his brother being slowly eaten away by the disease. Meanwhile, the boy's father struggles to do the same running for the county sheriff, becoming more and more self destructive with his own anger management issues. As he spirals into a tunnel of greed and ego, the boy will have to look into his broken mirror to truly redeem himself, even if nobody may ever know what it really costs him...
Timeline and Commitment: Storyboard artists will work collaboratively with the team to bring the scenes to life. While we understand that volunteers have other commitments, we expect a reasonable time commitment to ensure steady progress. Specific timelines and deadlines will be discussed during the onboarding process to accommodate everyone's availability. However, we can say now the series debut episode will be split into two parts; each spanning around 30 minutes long for a total runtime of an hour.
Project Vision and Team: Our team is composed of passionate individuals who are deeply committed to creating an immersive and unforgettable web series. Led by a talented writer and director, we are dedicated to realizing our shared vision and are excited to welcome artists who align with our creative goals.
Compensation and Future Opportunities: While this is an unpaid opportunity, we believe in the value of artists' contributions. As the series progresses, there is potential for future paid opportunities, especially if the project becomes monetized on YouTube with the partnership program. We are committed to fairly compensating artists for their work as the project develops.
Token of Appreciation: To express our gratitude for your involvement, we are exploring options for a small token of appreciation. This may include digital gift cards, exclusive access to project-related resources, or other thoughtful gestures to acknowledge your contributions.
Examples and Collaboration: We have already developed several storyboards for parts of the web series. As a potential storyboard artist, you will have the opportunity to collaborate with the initial artist (me), providing your unique artistic perspective while maintaining the overall vision of the project.
To Audition: If you are passionate about horror, possess experience in storyboarding and or comics, and are eager to contribute to our web series, we would love to hear from you! Please send us a message with the following details:

• A brief overview of your art experience, including relevant projects or collaborations.
  
• Your proficiency in traditional or digital art and any preferred tools or software.
  
• Examples of your previous artwork, specifically highlighting any storyboarding or comic-related work.
  
• Your availability and commitment level, as well as any anticipated constraints or scheduling preferences.
  

We greatly appreciate your interest in joining our team and look forward to reviewing your submissions. Together, let's create an extraordinary series that captivates audiences and showcases the incredible talents of our collaborators!!
(PS. I understand how this may upset some artists, and I completely understand that. However, I'm currently unable to put any funding towards this series as of now since there is no sources of income available to me yet. All of the work gone into the series has been limited to the resources I have available at hand and generous individuals happy to contribute. I in no way mean to pose this request in a way that undermines the value and importance in artists. I would do the storyboarding entirely on my own, but a team of one person is incredibly stressful, tedious, time consuming, and harmful to my mental health. In the process, I hope to build up the portfolio of any artists who want to make a name for themselves in the industry and do this type of work full time, embracing their potential and showcasing their wonderful skills to employers. Thank you for reading, and I apologize in advance.)

Hello to you, fellow ingrates.
Year 6 of DABR Defends the New York Giants from Criticism has arrived.

Season Recap

tl;dr: The Giants had their most successful season since 2016, and arguably since winning the Super Bowl in 2012 (if the draft spot/playoff success is the measurement) and went into draft night with the latest selection they've had since 2012, the first outside the top 11 since 2016.
Giants fans didn't really expect to win that many games this year. There were still some hopefuls for Daniel Jones but most people had come to terms with new GM Joe Schoen and new HC Brian Daboll pretty much setting up to replace him, declining his 5th year option.
It was the first year of this regime, they hadn't really been able to fix up the roster fully, etc. Most Giants fans I know were expecting a 4-7 win season, not sniffing the playoff race. Ha.
It all started week 1 vs Tennessee. It was honestly a story Giants fans have gotten familiar with. Look absolutely horrible in the first half of the game, but somehow struggle back into it in the second half, only to be dramatically disappointed at the end of the game. After Daniel Jones threw a red zone interception with just under 9 minutes to go, we thought that was pretty much it.
But then with 4 minutes left, Saquon Barkley rips off a 33 yard run, Daniel Jones converts a 4th and 1, and the Giants score a TD to pull them to just a 1 point deficit. Most Giants fans are thinking "okay he's gonna kick it, play for overtime, I respect that, we didn't think it would be that close anyways."
And then we see the offense staying on the field...uh oh. The offense wasn't exactly clicking on all cylinders to that point in the game, having been shut out in the first half. If we don't get it, the game is pretty much lost. Daboll calls a shovel pass, Saquon gets it, it looks like it's completely doomed...I'm thinking "here we go again, his first game and the media is already going to be all over him for going for it"...but Saquon fights his way in! Giants take the lead for the first time in the game. We're feeling good, Daboll's huge balls in that situation giving us some confidence.
Then the Titans methodically work the ball down the field (along with a couple of assists from Austin Calitro and Darnay Holmes), setting up a 47 yard field goal for Randy Bullock to win the game.
Now, I'm thinking, "of course this is what happened, they gave us some hope, now it's going to get ripped away from us, just like always. Story of the last few years at times."
...and then Bullock missed the kick. That was the start of what turned into a magical first half of the season, the Giants getting off to a 7-2 start, all 7 wins coming by a 1 score margin (though the Bears and Texans games were a bit cleaner than the final scoreline suggests), and 5 of them really coming down to big time plays in the last 5 minutes of the game.
The Titans story, taking the lead with 3:38 left in the 4th quarter and Julian Love sacking Baker Mayfield to force 4th and 15 the next drive against Carolina, Kayvon Thibodeaux and Xavier McKinney batting down Aaron Rodgers' passes in London, Love intercepting Lamar Jackson to set up the game winning score against Baltimore, McKinney and Love stopping Christian Kirk at the 1 yard line on the last play against Jacksonville.
All of those games are games that go against us in previous years. But this year was just different. And somehow through it all, there were Saquon Barkley and Daniel Jones as well. Saquon was the focal point of the offense early in the season, Jones being efficient in a heavy, limited, play action focused passing attack.
All thoughts of the Giants earning a top pick and replacing Daniel Jones pretty much went out the window by week 4, and hope for Jones maybe finally becoming the QB he was drafted to be started to blossom in some parts of the Giants fanbase.
Things came crashing down a bit the next 4 weeks. Awful losses to Detroit, Dallas, and Philly, with a tie against Washington in there too that many Giants fans felt they deserved to win capped off a 1-4-1 stretch where the Giants simply did not look good. They looked more like what we expected the team to look like coming into the year. The playoff spot was no longer guaranteed, at 7-5-1. But a flexed SNF game against Washington would pretty much decide the season.
And the Giants took that win against Washington and ran with it. A close loss against the Vikings that was probably the best passing attack game of the season to that point, a dominating win against the hapless Colts that locked the Giants into the playoffs, and a surprisingly tight and scrappy game between the Eagles starters and the Giants backups gave Giants fans some hope headed into the playoffs. We didn't expect to win a Super Bowl, but the matchup against the Vikings seemed winnable.
And winnable it was, as in classic 2023 Giants fashion, they took a lead about halfway through the 4th quarter, and a couple of clutch plays on defense by Cordale Flott and Xavier McKinney ended the game.
Then we went to Philly and got absolutely ass blasted, ending our season.
That left the Giants with the 25th pick in the class, entering an offseason with a lot of business to take care of.

Free Agency Recap

The Giants had a lot more room to operate in free agency this year than last year, and Schoen was relatively creative in how he wanted to go about it.
The first step in that process though was figuring out the status of his pending free agents; most notably, the two who led the way on offense most of the year: Daniel Jones and Saquon Barkley. The Jones negotiations were tense, Jones asked for the moon and the team was not having it. Eventually (literally right before the tag deadline) they settled on a 4 yr, 160m extension with 82m fully guaranteed and a boatload of incentives that could push the value up to almost 200m. That allowed the team to tag Saquon Barkley, whose extension talks are reportedly still stalled, as Barkley declined an offer worth almost 14m during the Giants' bye week, and continues to find the Giants' offer(s) unpalatable.
Speculation is that Barkley is seeking more guaranteed money from the Giants (greater than the sum of 2 franchise tags), but Barkley's camp is not leaking much (reportedly because Saquon doesn't want them to). And according to most reporters, Saquon is too competitive to actually sit out the season, removing his last bit of leverage.
Possibly the biggest addition of the Giants' free agency period was actually a trade: The Giants traded the Chiefs' 3rd rounder (acquired for Kadarius Toney) for TE Darren Waller. This is a huge move because the Giants were dead last in explosive pass play rate by a WIDE margin. Only like 6 individual team seasons since 2010 had fewer explosive passing plays than the 2022 Giants. That's something that Schoen and Daboll immediately set out to fix, and Darren Waller is one of the best explosive pass weapons in the league, leading all TEs in explosive pass plays this season despite playing just 9 games this year. Reports out of OTAs are that the Giants are expecting Waller to basically fill a "WR1" role for them; not necessarily in alignment but being the focal point of the offense, high target share, etc.
Schoen and Daboll followed that addition up with two more explosive pass play options: retaining Darius Slayton, and adding Parris Campbell to the room. Slayton is a solid WR, he's good for 600-700 yards when he gets run. His hands are inconsistent, but he makes up for it often. Campbell finally broke out having a healthy season for the Colts this season. I think Campbell is mostly insurance for Wan'Dale Robinson, who is coming off of a torn ACL, but if healthy should get primary run in the slot.
The Giants' other two main moves came on the defensive side of the ball, adding LB Bobby Okereke to a LB room that comprised of: Jarrad Davis, Micah McFadden, and Darrian Beavers (coming off a torn ACL). Much needed improvement in that room. The Giants also added Rakeen Nunez-Roches and A'Shawn Robinson to the DL room to improve the depth there; Dexter Lawrence and Leonard Williams were playing too many snaps, and the Giants were really bad against the run last year.
In the process though, the Giants lost both of their starting centers from 2022, Nick Gates and Jon Feliciano, as well as S Julian Love, who had been a consistent staple of the defense the last few years.

Draft Needs

The Giants roster was in much better shape this year than last year, but the team still had a number of problems:

1. CB was still a HUGE need for the Giants, and one that had not been properly addressed yet. Adoree' Jackson had another very good year in 2022, but the spot across from him had been a mishmosh of misfit toys: Fabian Moreau had a nice little run, but struggled down the stretch. Nick McCloud got a lot of run at CB2 after being claimed on waivers from the Bills. Cordale Flott had been drafted as a nickel defender but got some run there. And the slot position wasn't much better, as Darnay Holmes continued to be a liability there. This position needed reinforcements. I've been a relatively vocal minority in the Giants fandom saying this has been the BIGGEST need the team had for a couple of years now (basically aside from the one year that we had Bradberry and Jackson both on the team).
2. Despite adding Slayton, Campbell, and Waller, WR was still something the team needed. Specifically someone who could develop into a WR1 type player. The Giants WR room is relatively deep, but just adding Campbell and Waller and running back last year's group didn't feel sufficient. The team clearly was putting an emphasis on speed, separation, and yards after the catch ability.
3. Center was a massive need. The Giants basically didn't have a center on the roster who had played meaningful NFL snaps. Ben Bredeson could move to center if needed, but it wasn't that solid of a plan. And in what seemed like a good center class, this seemed like a good way to solve that problem.
4. LB. The LB2 spot currently will be either Jarrad Davis, Micah McFadden (who basically lost the job last year to Jarrad Davis), or Darrian Beavers (who tore his ACL last year). I think that says it all.
5. RB: Saquon is on the tag, so you feel okay here, but the team has been seeking a solid compliment for him for a while. They were in on a few of the RBs last year and the value never lined up, and Matt Breida and Gary Brightwell didn't really cut it last year. They don't want to run Saquon into the ground early in the year like they did last year, so having a compliment for him is big.
6. S: Losing Julian Love is a tough one. He played a lot of snaps and wore a lot of hats for this defense last year, especially with McKinney missing time with a hand injury. The team likes Jason Pinnock, and drafted Dane Belton in the early 4th last year, but more depth and competition here would be very welcome.

So let's get into the picks:

1.24: Deonte Banks, CB, Maryland

Seems like maybe Schoen agreed with me!
It was a lot harder to try to predict what the Giants would do this year, just by virtue of having a later pick. But the general consensus among the beat seemed to be that the team wanted to get a CB or an offensive playmaker with that first pick. I was a little skeptical of CB being an option, seeing how many mocks had all 5 of the top CBs off the board, but that often left WRs available.
So right after the Jets took Will McDonald at 15, if you looked at the board, only 1 CB had been taken and no WRs had been taken. That felt pretty good for the Giants.
Then Forbes and Gonzalez come off the board, and the top 4 WRs come off the board from 20-23.
That left the Giants feeling a little antsy. They had one guy they really wanted left, and negotiated a trade up one spot with the Jaguars to secure their guy: Deonte Banks.
This pick is perfect for what the Giants want to do on defense. Wink Martindale's reaction should say it all, if you go watch the Giants' behind the scenes videos on the draft process.
Banks is a tall, long, and athletic corner, which are all important traits for Wink's press man heavy defense. He's super fluid and smooth in his hips. He tested absolutely crazy. He also plays with a swag that I think Wink and Giants fans will come to really appreciate. He plays confident, he plays fast in terms of processing, and he plays physical.
He still has some development to go, I'm not saying he's going to be a top CB in the league from day 1. He wasn't a super ball productive corner, but that's not something Wink necessarily needs. It will take some time for him to get comfortable with the complexity of route runners in the NFL. But the tools are all there, and the Giants get a perfect scheme fit.
Banks will come in and immediately be the starter at CB across from Adoree' Jackson, and the trickle down effect that will have on the Giants depth chart at CB will be tangible.

2.57: John Michael Schmitz, OC, Minnesota

As this pick was coming up, Schoen and Daboll were discussing who to pick, and basically said "okay we're either going with Schmitz or (we'll get to that later ;) )".
Then the Bears traded up to the pick before the Giants pick. And Joe Schoen said "oh fuck." Daboll tried to calm him down and said "well I guess we're getting ."
Then the Bears took Tyrique Stevenson (good pick!), leaving the Giants the choice between the two players. And the Giants went with Schmitz.
Full disclosure: I was not a huge JMS fan in the draft process. I thought he was super solid all around, but he wasn't really impressive to me, there weren't a lot of overwhelmingly positive reps or traits in my eyes. I thought he was maybe a little heavy footed, especially in pass pro, and his testing kind of backed that up, and I didn't really see full unlocked power either.
I was probably a bit harsh on him in terms of the grade though. Like I said, he's a super solid player. There's relatively little to really complain about. He's smart, he's experienced, and he made few mental mistakes. His snaps were consistent. He is pretty strong though not crazy so. His anchor is really good, and he plays nasty and competitive, which is something the Giants are definitely looking for. It helps he had a really good Senior Bowl week too.
Was Schmitz my favorite center in this class? No. But he was for many people, and for some good reasons. Schmitz will come in and immediately start at center for the Giants, bringing the dead snap with him. If he can be the 3rd best player on this unit (behind Andrew Thomas and hopefully Evan Neal taking a step forward this year and being healthy), it'll be an immensely calming and steadying presence that should raise the OL play of the whole unit.

3.73: Jalin Hyatt, WR, Tennessee

So you may be wondering: Who was Player X?
Well immediately after drafting Schmitz, Schoen looked around the room and pretty much said "what if we can still get ?" He decided that the price he was willing to pay was the Giants 4th round pick. And he and everybody else in the room started calling.
That included Brian Daboll, who leaned over and said "hey should I text [Rams HC Sean] McVay?" Schoen said "yeah sure go for it." And Daboll officially negotiated the Giants trading up from 89 to 73 to select Player X: Tennessee WR Jalin Hyatt
Hyatt is a really fun player to watch. The speed blows you away on tape. It's the kind of speed that even if you're not throwing it to him all the time, defenses have to take note when he comes on the field and play him differently. He's not necessarily slippery or elusive after the catch but (and I'm scared to frame it this way but I'm doing it anyway) the speed and acceleration gives him credibility there, the way that Odell was such a YAC threat on slants just getting to full speed and outrunning everyone.
He's a little high cut I think, and that leads to a little bit of trouble with crisper routes. He wasn't asked to run a very complex route tree at Tennessee, though I do think he has the skills to improve in that sense. The biggest concern for me is just how quickly we can get him up to speed beating press and playing through physicality. When he has room to work, he can beat CBs in a few ways, but NFL DBs will knock even very good WRs off their routes at times. And that follows through to contested catches.
The Giants' WR room is so crowded it's hard for me to say exactly what Hyatt's role will be starting out. The Giants started last year trying to use different WRs in different ways on a game to game basis. Then the wheels fell off obviously, with Shep, Wan'Dale, and Toney being hurt and Golladay stinking and all that. So I wonder if we see a return to that.
Hyatt can be a threat in a lot of ways, end arounds, screens, etc in addition to the obvious "go long" situations. Just how many reps he can carve out will be fun to track in training camp.

So the Giants come out of the first 3 rounds with 3 players who were commonly mocked to them at 25. Pretty good business! But let's get into day 3:

5.172: Eric Gray, RB, Oklahoma

The Giants traded away their 4th round pick to get Hyatt so they went 99 picks without making a selection.
Like I said earlier, the team has been looking for a compliment to Saquon Barkley for a long time, and they find it here with Eric Gray.
Schoen said he sees Eric Gray as a 3 down back. And you can definitely see why. He caught 88 passes over the last 3 years at Oklahoma and only dropped 2. He's also strong and physical, willing to pass protect. That physicality carries over into his running style, he runs hard and is willing to run through guys. He's bursty in short areas and has pretty solid vision in my opinion.
He's a compact guy, just 5'9 207. He's not super slippery or elusive, and he's not really a home run hitter. But in terms of finding a backup RB on day 3 to feed some of those tough yardage carries to and keep Saquon fresh, you could do worse than Eric Gray for sure.
The Giants ran a fair bit of "Pony" type formations in 2022, using 2 or even 3 RBs at times. The competition between Gray and Matt Breida for the true RB2 spot will be fun to see. Breida brings a little more explosiveness to the table, but Gray will certainly give him a run for his money. And depending on what happens with Saquon Barkley's contract situation, we may see even more of Gray down the line.

6.209: Tre Hawkins, CB, Old Dominion

When asked about what is different this year from last year, what improvements or what has gotten easier now that he's been in the chair for a full year, Joe Schoen talked a lot about really getting a good handle on what his coaches look for in players. And he singled out Wink in that respect because him and Daboll have worked together so much.
The Giants selection of Tre Hawkins really highlights that. Like with Deonte Banks, Hawkins brings a ton of physical traits. He tested through the roof. He has the length that the Giants look for. He's also super physical in both phases, run and pass, which Wink loves. ODU let him just play press man, so he's comfortable doing that.
He's a little slim still, so his frame needs some reworking, but that's common with CBs and especially ones from outside the P5 schools. He also has a lot of technique and FBIQ stuff to clean up. His footwork is messy, he's not always patient enough with his punch. His ball skills still leave something to be desired. He's still learning to read routes and manage space both in man and zone.
I figure Hawkins will come in and be a depth player and core STer for the Giants. If his play strength holds up against NFL scrutiny, he can definitely be a day 1 punt gunner. Wink has started calling Jerome Henderson the best DB coach in the league, so it'll be fun to see what Henderson can do with a ball of clay like Hawkins. Even if he ends up just being a STer and CB5 type guy, that's still a pretty good pick in the 6th round like this.
Also, sorry Patriots writer :)

7.243: Jordon Riley, DL, Oregon

Beating a dead horse at this point, but this is another pick Schoen highlighted as an example of his understanding of what Wink is looking for.
Obviously Riley is a flawed prospect, it's the 7th round. He was a 6th year senior who spent time at 4 different schools, starting at UNC, then going to JUCO for a year, then Nebraska for 2 years where he barely played, and finishing his college career at Oregon. PFF lists him as having just 534 career snaps in college despite the 5 years he spent at the P5 level. He wasn't very productive, partly because he barely played and partly because he's just not very good. He's not a good athlete.
What Riley does have, though, is size, strength, and knockback power. And that's what Wink is looking for in a depth NT. He eats blocks, stuffs up lanes, and just is hard to move.
Schoen put it this way:
"It’s hard to find these guys. When you get into the seventh round, you are looking for guys that maybe it will be hard to get at different areas. And another guy we spent time with, big run stopper in there, 6-foot-5, 330.
You walk out to practice, and there’s this 6-5, 330-pound guy, who piques your interest right there. Again, some of these guys in different schemes may not have the production, the tackles, the sacks. But for what Wink looks for in terms of size, length, knock-back — he possesses those traits.”

7.254: Gervarrius Owens, DB, Houston

Last pick in the draft and the Giants go back to the DB room. They took two CBs already, but some depth/developmental guys at safety would help. Enter: Gervarrius Owens.
Owens is a former CB turned S from Houston. The CB in him flashes to me on tape, I thought his ball skills as a safety were good. He's athletic enough to play pretty much any safety spot, including that single high spot that teams find difficult to fill. He's super physical and willing to play downhill and tackle. He's super experienced, he was a team captain and 4 year starter for Houston.
He makes a lot of mistakes, however. The angles he takes to the ball in both phases are super inconsistent. He missed a ton of tackles in college, so that technique needs to be worked on. The ball skills turned into PBUs rather than INTs; Wink won't mind that but some of them were like "he really should have just caught that."
Owens is another guy like Hawkins who looks primed to earn his roster spot on special teams and provide solid depth for the team's DB room. Wink likes to play 3+ safety sets, especially when he feels like he has a good group there. And the Giants' S room right now is basically Xavier McKinney and a bunch of question marks, so it's entirely feasible that Owens can come in and beat Dane Belton, Jason Pinnock, and Bobby McCain to earn playing time early on.

UDFAs

The Giants UDFA class included a few notable names. 5 total players who got 100k+ in guarantees:

1. Bryce Ford-Wheaton, WR, WVU: The Giants gave Bryce Ford-Wheaton a LOT of guaranteed money for a UDFA: 236k, which is the full season PS salary plus 20k. BFW was one of "my guys" this year I was hoping for the Giants to get. He's got the size and athleticism to be really good, but he's a little one note right now. In a crowded WR room, I kind of doubt he'll make the roster without some injuries (or Wan'Dale/Shep being on PUP) but like other late rounders/UDFAs, if he can find some value on special teams, he's a fun upside swing.
2. Dyontae Johnson, LB, Toledo: Another guy who got a lot of guaranteed money. The Giants needed some reinforcements at LB and clearly didn't find them in the draft. Super productive in college, very instinctive player, but I'm not sure if he can run with the league. He'll compete with the Giants mishmosh of LBs to play on special teams.
3. Ryan Jones, TE/FB, East Carolina: The Giants have been searching for a kind of H-Back type for a while now. Last year they brought in Jeremiah Hall from Oklahoma, that didn't stick. Andre Miller, who was a WR at Maine, seemed like he was getting run at that spot in camp last year, but a broken arm ended his season. Chris Myarick ended up taking some of those reps. Ryan Jones kind of fits that mold as well.
4. Habakkuk Baldonado, EDGE, Pittsburgh: The Giants' pass rusher depth is...not great. Behind Kayvon Thibodeaux and Azeez Ojulari, it's Jihad Ward, Oshane Ximines, and Tomon Fox. And Ojulari missed a lot of time last year. Baldonado could potentially come in and earn a spot over Ximines/Fox. He's got good play strength and power and fits what the Giants would need as more of an edge setter and run defender to give Thibodeaux/Ojulari a rest rep before letting them loose to rush the passer.
5. Gemon Green, CB, Michigan: Another tough and physical corner. I don't think there's really a spot for him on this roster with the additions of Banks and Hawkins, and I think he's not quite the athlete the Giants look for at CB, but as a last resort/STer he can potentially get somewhere.

Final Takeaways

I did this last year because it was Schoen's first year here, but I like the idea of doing it every year. What can we learn from the way Schoen drafted this year that we can file away and learn for the future? What can mockers learn from this to inform them of who makes sense for the Giants.
And it's pretty similar to last year:

1. Athleticism. Once again, pretty much every player the Giants drafted, and the UDFAs generally, were excellent athletes who tested well. The main exceptions being JMS (who was still a solid athlete) and Jordon Riley this year; where the exception last year basically was just DJ Davidson. This team has faith in its coaching staff and wants to give them players they can work with.
2. Scheme/Roster Fits. I talked about it a lot with the defensive picks, but every single one is a "Wink Martindale" guy. What does Wink want for his system? This can be a little dangerous considering Wink was in the running for a HC gig last year, and another strong year might finally get him the HC job he has been looking for. If he leaves and the scheme changes, these players need to be able to match the new scheme too. But it's clear that the FO values the input of the coaching staff and there's really clear communication there. This also applies to the offensive side of the ball, where it's super clear that the team wanted more speed on offense, which pointed to Hyatt a little bit.
3. Youth. This one is a little less applicable this year as they did draft a few older players, like JMS and Riley, even Eric Gray who turns 24 in November or Tre Hawkins who turns 23 over the summer. But Banks just turned 22, Jalin Hyatt will turn 22 in late September. It feels like maybe they felt more attached to the age stuff when they thought this was a full on rebuild, but now that they're hoping to be a playoff team again, they need some more instant contributors.
4. Aggressiveness/willingness to trade. This is a newer one, as last year the Giants only traded back. But this year the Giants traded up twice, giving up 3 day 3 picks in the process. Schoen is not afraid to make trades in either direction. Up to secure guys he really wants (Banks/Hyatt), or down if there's nothing there. Schoen talked about having trades lined up in both directions with the first round pick, he had a trade down ready if there was no one he wanted left.

The Giants went into the 2022 draft clearly rebuilding, 5 picks in the top 81 and making 11 selections. This year, the team came into the draft with 10 picks and came out with just 7. Clearly the team thinks the depth is improving and wants to focus on building the championship contender they are looking to be.

An actor everybody is pretty much somewhat familiar with, Rowan Atkinson that plays Mr Bean recently made an about 10 minute press release speech and statement. It was directly concerning the freedom of the people of the United Kingdom to merely express themselves, to perform the very human act of communicating and sharing. https://youtu.be/xUezfuy8Qpc
The fact that the U.K is unfortunately by law a tyrannical state that dishes out criminal punishment to anyone who says anything anyone finds offensive, no literally they actually have laws that get you arrested for posting normal song lyrics and other mundane normal usage posts. It's from a recent yet slightly older law from 25 years ago, and it enables anyone to be charged with hate speech for saying or since the advent of social media posting anything anyone ever finds offensive.
I wish it were otherwise but unfortunately these authoritarian tyrannical laws are also present... in Australia and you have probably forgotten but they were on full display in 2019... when the Pharmaceutical companies became the wealthiest and most profitable companies on Earth... the same companies that sponsor Political Parties,... and Television advertisements,... Social Media companies (like the one your on now) and literally run the tests and produce all medical scientific papers (studies, theories, hospitals, physicians on payroll, fund entire hospitals and livelihoods... etc. etc.) The best example I can remember of the absolute Tyranny Australia was under is a case whereby a pregnant women in Victoria was arrested for writing on a Facebook post that she was against lockdowns and supported the protests against them... the Police came and arrested her... for 'Hate Speech'... it luckily enough got picked up media companies (TV stories and articles). Luckily. So the police, after dragging this pregnant woman kicking and screaming out of her apartment (not exactly literally) let her go without charge. Only out of the fear of public ridicule and hatred that would have emerged. She was lucky that happened. Very very lucky. And there is no way she should have had to have been 'lucky' for merely making a post on Facebook. Had it not been picked up by media companies, that pregnant woman could have still been in prison to this very day (though possibly and likely house arrest or community service).
America simply does not have this problem as written into the very constitution as the 1st Amendment to their constitution by the founding fathers in all of their wisdom, intelligence, good faith and if your religious like they where, filled with divine enlightenment wrote it such that the Government in America has no ability to write any law to restrict people's rights to express themselves (Freedom of Speech), restrict the press (because back then they lacked smart phones, social media and all modern technology, which should be obvious but perhaps it is not and is difficult for people today to even begin to imagine life back then despite it being very loosely similar to today's world) and finallu restrict people's religious freedoms (written in reverse order to this because they were all wise God loving, humble, noble and brave men.
America's 1st Amendment is the only Freedom of Speech law written into its very constitution in the entire world, it is the reason that America is referred to as 'Land of the Free' and the second part of that phrase, 'Home of the Brave.'. As for protests, peaceful assembly had always been constitutionally protected, not violent assembly so riots and revolution is still very much illegal and is met with lethal counter force every time. [As a side note, if peaceful assembly fails to prevent America becoming a Tryrannical State, then the 2nd Amendment is the fail-safe. As the wisdom of the founding fathers literally argued and intendeded]
Australia does not have that phrase and frankly I feel that every Australian that knows that, feels a deep unspoken, subconscious shame over that fact and far more importantly that all Australians simply do not have the constitutional right to even speak their minds freely, as every human being alive desires.
As Rowan Atkinson stated 'Hate Speech' is not real. It is a term used to silence, censor and remove power from whomever those in power disagree and dislike or are offended by. There are seemingly endless examples from history of the evil deeds of enactment of those disliked by existing powers for example, Galileo (ostracised and persecuted by the church and all religious folk for merely stating he believed that the sun was the center of the Galaxy and not the Earth), Nikola Tesla (defamed by the work of Tomas Edison and countless people trying to claim his inventions as their own by way of patent theft and lies for the purpose of advertising like don't by an American organisation NPR over the discovery of radio), (Jesus Christ himself by his crucifixion by my Ancestors, the Romans) and as the last example, the NAZI's by locking up any intellectuals that disagreed or dared critisize any of their doctrine and propoganda, their torture of anyone condemned for death by way of countless sadistic and grotesque torture methods, and some though quite few, for scientific discovery purposes, their burning of the books followed in time by bodies, and lastly their brutal slaughter of the Jews, no evidence of wrongs but only stirring words and speeches from their beloved demagogue, Adolf Hitler and gigantic amounts of absolute propoganda distributed to the masses, orchestrated by NAZI Propoganda Chief Joseph Goebbels and his team. (Which every highschool student should have, though potentially didn't, have already learned from Highschool History class, at least in every Public School, Private Schools may be permitted a different curriculum.) Offensive caused by speech has only 1 solution. More Free speech, Rowan Atkinson a famous actor that has probably more wealth than this entire subreddit conveyed this message, and it would seem as an absolute truth as far as I can tell.
I have written this in hopes of sparking and pasing wisdom and knowledge into whoever needs to have read this. And hopefully you will pass this type of message on yourself from now on. Australia needs the Right of Freedom of Speech written into its very constitution. As demonstrated during COVID19 it needed it years ago but now even more than ever.
And to those that would say it will do nothing but allow mass disinformation, manipulation and mislead people, I would say this, history has proven you absolutely dead wrong on that statement and sentiment, the only solution to offense from speech is more Free Speech and if you silence, censor or try more modern trends of the same kind known as deplatforming or cancelling, then all you do, all you achieve, everything you are trying to stop will only be made stronger, more resilient and more popular then ever before. As examples, take Jesus Christ, he has the Roman equivalent of being hung drawn and quartered, he was crucified, publicly executed like a lamb to the slaughter to send a message of absolute obedience being required to the rest of the herd. Yet because of that Christianity exploded and has been far more viral than COVID19 or any viral video has ever been to date. And for modern times look at Tucker Carlson, deplatformed by pressure from Pharmaceutical companies, lawsuits from shitty voting machine companies and pathologically idealogically fanatic ex employees in lawsuits. Tucker Carlsons show on Fox was the most popular show on Fox News and it drew in about 2 million people every night to watch it... after he was fired... is now getting 35+ million on the regular after he started up on Twitter. I do so imagine that actuall that will be an understatement in the coming future as currently he's on his 2nd episode ever. The 'Streisand Effect' in full unbridled, unstoppable force.
Every Australian deserves the right to express themselves freely, meaning free of all Government persecution and all possible Government and legal persecution. This is and has always been a left wing idea, as the rule of Tyrants; Dictators, kings Pharaohs, Caesar's, Shoguns, Kahns, Lords, Nobles Knights and Emperors have always, always been majority perpetuated by people with conservative temperaments, whereas free thinkers, creative and imaginative people are the minority of people perpetuating the rule of Tyrants.
We here in Australia critisize China for authoritarianism and tyranny when there is weakness in our own ranks. 'Those in glass houses should not throw stones' - some famous person, 'never lay cannonfire on your enemy with a glass cannon' -me. Western countries, especially our home country Australia's true colours, true laws and beliefs of of Australian people were broadcasted for the world to see during covid. And they paint a very dark authoritarian picture of our nation to the world, something China is more than smart enough to take advantage of... and much to our chagrin they are and have been since Covid ended for us. Chinese propoganda, their Television Channels, all Chinese State OWNED... all of them constantly bring up how Australia, England and America all were even worse if not just as bad as China was during Covid19, and as the best and most convincing propoganda always is... its harrowingly mostly true. (Only, partly mostly thankfully) but domestic Chinese TV isn't the most important propoganda outlet taking the easy win by using our sins in their propoganda... no, that would be the Confucius Institute in Australian Universities. China's unelected ruling communist party (communist in name only these days, just a full bull authoritarian tyranny is their ideology nowadays) main propoganda outlet in Australia is a Chinese University group called the Confucius Institute (I could be wrong about the name and I've spent too long writing this to be bothered to look it up). They target young, impressionable Chinese men and women when they are studying abroad in Australia's universities, our most popular young adult Chinese attraction, I dare say, maybe even 'Global young adult Asian attraction' as I once met a man from Tibet who said exactly that in a course I had to take for my construction job (white card). The Confucius Institute goal is promote CCP propoganda via demonising the way Australia and all Western countries are so that as few young people ever believe in the ideals of Democracy and want to return to China, such that the CCP can perpetuate its tyrannical rule over China forever. Idealogically brainwash 'loose ends' - Mafia Terminology if you understand. They thanks to what happened to Australia under the Lib/Nats Coalition 2019 to late 2022 they distribute and spread half truths about Australia and countless other lies about every part and aspect of life in Australia as well as pay members of their organisation to organise pro China protests, (sign holders and chanters) in Australian Universities, footage of this circulated sparsely in Australian media and articles during 2014-2018 roughly though probably a bit before too. They actively seek out and target specifically ethnically Chinese and often try to emotionally blackmail them, incite fear into them, speak exclusively their propoganda to then and rarely but almost certainly literally blackmail them using the threat of violence, torture and death of their families back in China. Naturally there's no direct evidence of that claim except for Chinese Father and Husband in England that was blackmailed (husband of high ranking shipping Port official wife) they abducted his wife and child and forced the wife read a script to the husband over the phone (utilised emotional and physical blackmail and just directly veiled and unveiled threats, I recommend you look up interviews from the husband) and if you look up the articles of the Confucius Institute from IDK 2011-2018 and have the ability to interpret from what the articles found you can tell the Confucius Institute, only has 1 purpose, to try and perpetuate the CCP's rule of China and stop and protest against their rule, specifically stopping Tiananmen Square type protests from ever happening again. The Tianamen Square Massacre was a global well known proverbial black eye to China that severely hampered every nation's diplomatic relations with China for close to half a century, and the CCP didn't like that as even Tyrants love swimming in money, also the CCP loves stealing technology through trade espionage, China's MAG Lev trains and their entire car industry is built off stolen technology from Western companies dumb enough to deal with companies owned by the CCP. Naturally the Chinese who have been or are being 'convinced' by the Confucius Institute are always the biggest promoters of Anti Freedom ideas, especially the death of Freedom of Speech via hate speech crime laws such as: incitement of violence laws (Victoria mainly), offensive Tweets, Facebook Posts, Instagram Posts,,, Goddamn Reddit posts all hopefully being made illegal and the Liberals God awful rich persons almost exclusive digital world referee, The new E-Safety Commisioner. And like all the God awful Tyrant Commissioner's from TV shows and books if the E-Safety commisoner ever... EVER gets in the hands of the Liberals again it will be used against the normal people of Australia to beat the collective will of normal free thinking Australian's to the ground if not to death. Only complete dumbass Liberal Supporters usually dumb beer drinking sky news watchers (usually fossils) and Young Adult Chinese University Students support ANY of the laws and speech referees I just mentioned.
Again please war h the video I linked at the tiop and if the Politcal State of the U.K interests you for whatever reason then I recommend: Count Dankular (his second channel) the first person in Scottish History tried and found guilty of 'Hate Speech'... from a freakin comedy video. Where he's mocking the very thing they charged him for supporting [funny pug salute video as a direct hint]), Jonathan Pie (excellent wit, fantastic satirist and insult wordsmith wizard, also very yelly, I like him) and lastly full Aussie Jordan Shanks himself, the namesake of this subreddit, FriendlyJordies. Whenever he actually gets round to covering the U.K his analysis is excellent.
Also a guy from YouTube channel Sargon of Akkad though... fair warning, his videos are really boring but he is quite very articulate.
All Australians deserve the Right of Freedom of Speech. And unfortunately, on Reddit in particular I see far too many Tyrannical Speech Law sympathisers which I personally find truly disgusting and as much as I hate the authoritarian ideas you spout, I will defend your right to say and spread them. If your a real FriendlyJordies fan or agree with his ideas and rhetoric than I already know you support all Australians Right of 'Free Speech'.

Happy Friday, everyone! :) Welcome to my weekly thread of mobile gaming recommendations based on some of the most interesting games I played and that were covered on MiniReview this week. I hope you'll enjoy the read.
Support these posts (and YouTube content + development of MiniReview) on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/NimbleThor <3
This episode includes an awesome old-school RPG NetHack variant, a beautiful arcade bullet-hell shooter, a relaxing puzzle game, a popular chess app, and a casual tower defense game.
New to these posts? Check out the first one from 266 weeks ago here.

Let's get to the games:

GnollHack [Game Size: 1.1 GB] (Free)

Genre: RPG / Roguelike - Offline
Orientation: Landscape + Portrait
Required Attention: Some
tl;dr review by JBMessin:
Gnollhack is a fun variant of the famous roguelike “Nethack” designed specifically for mobile. In comparison to the original game, it features numerous quality-of-life changes, both ASCII and graphical tiles for the dungeon floors, and even voice acting.
A major advantage over other Nethack variants is Gnollhack’s large and intuitive UI. The most used commands are available on our main screen, and everything else is just a tap away and presented with clear and noticeable icons. The UI may look more cluttered than most modern mobile games, but it’s a big step up in comparison to many Nethack-based games.
What's also great about Gnollhack is that it's easier in the beginning than it is towards the end, which is completely different from Nethack and its other mobile variants. This makes it perfect for those that aren't familiar with the genre’s unforgiving gameplay and crazy learning curve.
The graphical ground tiles are impressive for a game genre where the archaic ASCII art style is typically preferred. The character and enemy sprites are also well-made and even presented according to creature size, which means larger enemies actually have larger sprites. Lastly, it’s much easier to navigate our inventory in Gnollhack than in most similar games since our weapons, armor, wands, etc. are actually presented visually.
The biggest downside to Gnollhack is its 1+ GB size, which isn’t massive by AAA standards but is ridiculously large for a Nethack variant. It's also heavy on battery usage, although that is to be expected with gameplay where so much is going on at all times.
Gnollhack is completely free without ads or iAPs. Overall, despite its few flaws, it’s a fantastic introduction to the brutality that is Nethack.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here

Wavecade [Total Game Size: 221 MB] ($3.49)

Genre: Arcade / Bullet-Hell - Online + Offline
Orientation: Landscape + Portrait
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by Solitalker:
Wavecade is a beautiful retro-styled roguelike arcade space shooter where we control the speed of time and destroy waves of incoming space blocks to score as many points as possible.
As we dodge and swerve our way through the 80's retro-inspired neon space, our ship automatically fires at any blocks in sight.
But this is where it gets interesting, because if we pull our ship toward the bottom of the screen, time slows down, allowing us to precisely maneuver away from projectiles and environmental space hazards. Pushing forward toward the top of the screen speeds up time beyond 100%, with greater points and rewards the faster we’re traveling.
After each run, experience gained unlocks new ranks that let us customize our ship. Cosmetics and new abilities can be configured and equipped before starting a new run, and even the appearance of the blocks we're facing can be customized to our liking.
A wide variety of powerups and weapons can be found throughout each run, leading to some wonderfully overpowered moments of total destruction. But some buffs and abilities are so effective that blocks don’t even make it on screen before they're destroyed, which is a little disappointing since we don't get to see the vibrant neon particle-filled explosions.
The touch controls can be frustrating at times. By default, we tap and drag our ship around manually, but this leaves our ship and the area directly around it hidden by our finger during play. Thankfully, the ship can be offset in the settings, or a virtual joystick can be enabled.
The visual and audio experience of Wavecade is incredibly satisfying, and its fantastic soundtrack perfectly fits the aesthetics.
For $3.49 on Android with no additional monetization, it’s a very enjoyable arcade shoot ‘em up with relatively quick runs and a rewarding high-score system.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here

Down in Bermuda [Game Size: 513 MB] ($4.99)

Genre: Puzzle / Casual - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Some
tl;dr review by AlexSem:
Down in Bermuda is a cute isometric puzzle adventure from the creators of “Agent A: A Puzzle in Disguise”, where we explore the mysteries of a secluded island by participating in a series of brain-testing puzzle activities.
Each level consists of a large 3D island that we can freely observe from all sides in search of interactive objects, mini-games, and puzzle clues. We need to click, swipe, and drag said objects in a specific sequence to complete each puzzle, and the key to success lies in attentiveness, a bit of luck, and sometimes clicking all the suspicious spots in the hope that something meaningful happens.
We also get to meet local inhabitants and help them with their problems – all while searching for a way to escape the island. The puzzles in each scene can be solved in any order, but we still need to finish certain scenarios to proceed in the game.
A huge portion of the gameplay revolves around finding and gathering all the glowing stars hidden in each level. While we can use a handy star map to easily locate them, there is a special achievement if we manage to succeed without its help.
We may also find special keys used to open advanced parts of the puzzles on previous islands, so a bit of backtracking is required to complete the game 100%. Other than that, the game progresses in a linear fashion, which can be disappointing for hardcore puzzle fans, but is perfect for casual play.
Down in Bermuda is a premium game without ads or iAPs that costs $4.99 on Android. Despite being rather short, it provides an engaging puzzle-solving experience that I’m sure anyone fond of high-quality mobile adventure games will appreciate.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here

lichess [Game Size: 137 MB] (Free)

Genre: Board / Casual / Chess - Online + Offline
Orientation: Portrait + Landscape
Required Attention: Full
tl;dr review by jurij:
lichess is a free open-source chess app with zero ads and nothing hidden behind a paywall.
The app is fast and simple. We can start a game in seconds, and since there are very few options and menus, everything is centered around actually playing. It features several online and offline chess variations, but in comparison to the Chess.com app or the website version of lichess, it still lacks several advanced features.
We also have access to puzzles, game lessons, and some game analysis options, but all of this works much better in the website version.
lichess is the second most popular chess platform after Chess.com, and if you love chess, you probably already have both installed. lichess is just a tad more outdated overall, but at least we don’t have to live with any paywalled features.
The lichess mobile app is a few years behind the website version in terms of usability – in large part because the mostly volunteer team managing the game is just not focused on the mobile version for some reason. A great example of how rudimentary some parts of the app are is the extremely clunky board editor that looks like it was made in a day and then never updated.
Ultimately, it’s a simple but fully free chess app for serious players that is amazing for starting fast bullet and blitz games. It lacks functionality and varied bots but has everything else you need for a great chess experience.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here

Arrow War (Game Size: 130 MB] (Free)

Genre: Tower Defense / Casual - Offline
Orientation: Landscape
Required Attention: Little (semi-idle)
tl;dr review by NimbleThor:
Arrow War is a casual and silly castle defense game where we manage a group of archers firing arrows at the waves of incoming enemies that try to seize our tower.
Starting with just a single archer, we must equip it with new bows, upgrade existing ones, enhance the skills of the bow, and much more to grow stronger. As we progress, we unlock more archers, each of which we need to manage in the same way.
Every wave takes a few minutes to complete, after which we’re taken back to our base, where we can upgrade our team in different ways, start the next wave, or play other game modes.
During combat, our archers automatically aim at the nearest enemies, while we strategically trigger their skills. So the combat isn’t idle, but it’s an ideal game to play while watching TV or doing something else.
There are a ton of ways to upgrade our archers and castle wall, lots of fun bows to unlock, quests to complete, and areas around our castle to capture so they automatically produce resources for us. Unfortunately, the combat is always the same across all the game modes.
The game features a premium currency, but we earn plenty of it for free, allowing us to buy things such as auto-aim for our main archer. There is technically also an energy system, but we gain so much of it that it’s rarely ever felt. Overall, the progression is nicely balanced for free players, and I haven’t experienced any paywalls.
Unfortunately, the game doesn’t utilize the wide screens of modern smartphones.
Arrow War monetizes via incentivized ads, a few forced ads, and iAPs to grow stronger faster. The iAPs aren’t necessary to progress, but the 5-second forced ads may become annoying. Some of the iAPs remove these ads.
Check it out on Google Play: Here
Check it out on MiniReview:: Here
NEW: Sort + filter reviews and games I've played (and more) in my app MiniReview: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=minireview.best.android.games.reviews
Special thanks to the Patreon Producers "marquisdan", "Lost Vault", "Farm RPG", and "Mohaimen" who help make these posts possible through their Patreon support <3
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Pup
punk
Similar Artists
Overflowing with attitude, energy, and hooky guitar figures, PUP are a Toronto-based punk combo whose acclaimed 2013 debut helped earn them a widespread audience both in and outside of Canada. PUP quickly became a touring dynamo with a larger label (SideOneDummy) behind them, and their quirky sense of humor and engaging songwriting played out over albums like 2016's The Dream Is Over and 2019's Juno Award-winning Morbid Stuff. They signed with Universal for their fourth album, 2022's The Unraveling of Puptheband, and created a denser, though still frenetic sound by experimenting with different instruments.
Featuring Stefan Babcock on vocals and guitar, Steve Sladkowski on guitar and vocals, Nestor Chumak on bass and vocals, and Zack Mykula on drums and vocals, all longtime friends who met in elementary school, PUP formed in 2010 under the name Topanga. The original name was a reference to Topanga Lawrence, a character played by Danielle Fishel on the '90s sitcom Boy Meets World, but when the members learned Fishel would be reviving the character in 2014 in a spin-off titled Girl Meets World, they chose to change the name to PUP, standing for "Pathetic Use of Potential." Topanga released a digital EP titled Oceans, and positive press and attention from other bands helped create a buzz about the group. In 2013, they became PUP, releasing their self-titled debut album through the Royal Mountain label. The album was a hit with both critics and fans, with the group being named Best Live Show and Best New Artist by CBC Radio 3. The band toured extensively, playing throughout Canada and making their way to England and the United States. By the end of 2013, PUP had signed a record deal with the well-established punk label Side One Dummy, and spent much of 2014 and 2015 touring in support of Side One Dummy's reissue of their debut LP, launching their first headlining tours of the United States and Canada, as well as making their Australian debut.
In February 2016, PUP teased a new single called "DVP" in advance of their second full-length album, The Dream Is Over. Released in May of that year, the album's title is a reference to a prognosis Babcock received from his doctor: he'd severely damaged his vocal cords after enduring years of non-stop touring. In true punk fashion, PUP used the doctor's glib comment as the rallying cry for another set of hard-hitting, self-deprecating punk tunes. The band promoted the effort with an international tour over the next year before returning to the studio to write and record a follow-up. They spent most of 2018 working on the album, which saw release in April 2019. Titled Morbid Stuff, the record was produced with Dave Schiffman (the Mars Volta, Weezer) and lyrically focused on Babcock's struggles with depression. A year later, PUP offered up their commentary on the state of the world with This Place Sucks Ass, a six-song EP whose title referenced one of their long-standing touring inside jokes. With COVID-19 putting a halt to live performances, the group returned to the studio in 2021 to record their fourth album. Produced by Peter Katis (the National, Frightened Rabbit), 2022's wild The Unraveling of Puptheband saw the group augmenting their normally guitar-based sound with synthesizers, piano, and horns.
Official Website
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Bandcamp
Spotify
Studio Albums
PUP (2013)
The Dream Is Over (2016)
Morbid Stuff (2019)
The Unraveling of PUPTheBand (2022)
Previous Spotlight - Ani DiFranco

I know they started off terrible in the first 1-2 episodes but how was Yoly mean towards Vanessa??
Like seriously??
I only saw her respond after Ness felt the need to ask who everyone was choosing and then told Xander she wants to have a 3some with Mal. Yoly wasn’t even the one that said she wasn’t here for the right reasons. She also wasn’t the one that dogpiled on her during the choosing ceremony, that was Lexi and Mildred.
When they ganged up on Nessa at the table during the group outing… that was Lexi. Maybe Yoly asked a question but it’s clear that Lexi the one that was the most bothered by her.
Besides muttering “bitch” and saying her apology doesn’t seem genuine (I think that was Yoly) at the Re-coupling. I don’t think she did anything terrible to her. Both Lexi and Mal thought nessa was full of shit. And their facial expressions and disgust for nes were the ones I noticed. Lexi even almost interrupted when nes said she now know she wants Xander. That wasn’t Yoly. Mal was the one that called her out at the cocktail party and completely disregarded her by asking Xander to choose.
Did I miss something!? Seriously. The only thing I thought she said to Vanessa at the reunion was, “you couldn’t wait to bring that up,” in regards to Yoly and Xander trying in real life.
I’m being serious… what about her was deem “mean”??
To be clear… Yoly has done a lot of wrong on this show. I’m just not understanding where the being mean to Vanessa takes are coming from when Lexi was the one that couldn’t stop talking about her.
Side note: could someone also tell me why we’re not allowed to use certain names anymore??

Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/byjus-is-sued-by-its-lenders (my newsletter Boring Money -- please visit the link if you'd like to subscribe and receive similar posts in your inbox)
Spotify for voiceover
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Four years ago I read an article in The Ken titled The making of a loan crisis at Byju’s. The gist of the story was that Byju’s was an edtech doing phenomenally well selling its digital courses to parents of young students. But these courses were expensive and these parents were poor. So it was also selling them loans to buy these courses. Only, without telling them. Parents would expect a course (which could be cancelled) but would end up with a loan (which couldn’t be cancelled).
Three days ago, Byju’s went to court in New York. Here’s the headline from TechCrunch: Byju’s sues ‘predatory’ lenders on $1.2B term loan, won’t make further payments.
Byju’s is a company that, arguably, made a business out of giving out predatory loans. Now it’s sued its own lenders and accused them of being predatory. I’m not saying that this is poetic justice but.. okay, scratch that. This is poetic justice! If Shakespeare were a finance writer this is the kind of stuff he would come up with.
Everyone wants to lend to Byju’s
In 2021, interest rates were low, loans were cheap. Tech startups were doing great, edtech startups were crushing it. Byju’s, not one to be left behind, had raised a lot of money but money was cheap so it also wanted to borrow. It wanted a $500 million loan from lenders in the US, which it wanted to use to acquire companies there. Instead, it ended up borrowing more than double—$1.2 billion—because lenders practically wanted to throw money at this overachieving edtech startup from India. [1]
The way a term loan such as this works is:

1. A company goes to an investment bank and asks for a loan
2. The bank syndicates this loan to investors, who become the lenders. Everyone comes together in a room and negotiates the specifics of the loan (which can be quite complex, as we’ll see)
3. The loan goes through and everyone’s happy. Presumably, the company likes its lenders, the lenders like the company
4. The original investors might sell the loans they own to other investors. The company’s only talking to an administrative agent representing the lenders, so over time it might not even know who its lenders are

In November 2021, prominent investment managers such as Blackstone, Fidelity and GIC had gone overboard to lend money to Byju’s. By September 2022, Byju’s lenders were desperately selling [2] their loans at a 36% discount on the principal. (Today, Byju’s debt is at a 20% discount, which is also bad.)
It’s likely that Blackstone, Fidelity and other of the OG lenders aren’t Byju’s’ lenders any more. They’ve almost certainly sold off their loans at a loss. Better get paid something than get paid nothing.
Dealers of the dead
If a company’s debt is being sold at a 36% discount, it’s because investors think that the company is unlikely to repay its loans. If you buy such a loan, you potentially stand to gain a lot—because of the discount—but well, you might also just lose everything.
If you’re a regular investment management company, like Blackstone, you don’t want to invest in such a loan. Your investors gave you this money to get predictable returns. If they wanted risk, they’d ask you to buy stocks. You don’t want to get into a fight with your borrower. If you feel they will not pay you back, you take a loss, sell the loans, move on.
If you’re a distressed debt investor, your entire business is to buy such distressed loans from regular investment managers like Blackstone. You’re going to get nasty borrowers who are unlikely to want to repay their loans but that’s okay. Because you’re nasty too. You spend less time on financial models, more in courts and around lawyers. You like to fight to get your money back. Sometimes you might lose, but the times you win, you win big. The wins cover your losses and some more.
Blackstone and the others sold Byju’s’ loans in desperation, and they were almost certainly bought by distressed debt investors. We don’t know who they are exactly, but Byju’s has indicated that one of them is Redwood Capital, a New York-based distressed debt investor.
If you’re a distressed debt investor, this is how it works:

1. You get a loan for super cheap
2. If the company repays its loan, great! You make a lot of money
3. But the company isn’t likely to repay, which is why you got the loan for cheap in the first place
4. So it’s in your best interest to not let the company die a slow death. Instead, you want to kill the company quick. You take the company to court ASAP and take all the money you’re owed while it’s still there

If the new investors waited, say, for a year, and took Byju’s to court after it had actually defaulted on its repayments—there might not be any money left! Byju’s may have given all the money to Lionel Messi or maybe laundered it away someplace the lenders wouldn’t find it. If you’re a distressed debt investor, you want to get Byju’s to court and get the court to force it to do whatever it takes to pay you back.
Last month, Byju’s’ new lenders sued Byju’s in the Delaware Court of Chancery [3]. We’ll get to the official reasons for this lawsuit in a bit, but what’s important is that Byju’s was not being sued because it defaulted on a payment. It hadn’t. It was being sued because the distressed debt investors expect it to default sooner or later, and they would prefer dealing with it sooner rather than later.
Lenders go for the kill
Usually, the finer details of corporate loans such as Byju’s’ aren’t public. But thanks to the multiple lawsuits we know quite a bit here.
The loan was made to Byju’s’ US entity and it was secured with guarantees from multiple Byju’s companies. From Byju’s’ lawsuit this week against its creditors (which I will get to), here are the guarantors:

1. Byju’s entities in India and Singapore
2. Byju’s’ US and Singapore acquisitions; companies including Oros, Epic, Great Learning, and Neuron
3. Whitehat India, Byju’s’ famous Indian acquisition

That’s a lot of companies guaranteeing a loan! Byju’s’ Indian entity is the parent of all the other guarantor companies, so having it as a guarantor should’ve been enough. I guess the rationale here was that it would be nice to have some non-Indian companies in the mix too, we do know how efficiently Indian courts work.
Apart from Byju’s the parent company itself, Whitehat was the only other Indian company guaranteeing this loan. The problem was that Whitehat itself, on paper, had negative net worth. It had probably taken loans of its own and did not have enough assets to cover them. In practice, this would be irrelevant, because Whitehat was owned by Byju’s and it would cover any of Whitehat’s liabilities. But, apparently, RBI regulations require Indian companies with negative net worth to take its approval before guaranteeing a loan. So even though Whitehat was a guarantor, the guarantee was meaningless until RBI granted its approval.
Yeah, well, RBI didn’t grant its approval. From the lawsuit:

Plaintiffs, Borrower, and Lenders had a call on or around October 6, 2022, to discuss the Whitehat Guarantee. In a good faith effort to negate any impact of the new regulations, Plaintiffs and the Borrower offered to move all assets out of Whitehat India into other subsidiaries of the Parent Guarantor that are Guarantors to the Credit Agreement, or are owned by Guarantors of the Credit Agreement. Lenders rejected this proposal without justification.

In October 2022, after Byju’s’ debt was already sold to the distressed debt investors, the company spoke to its lenders and informed them that it was unable to get RBI’s approval for Whitehat to be a guarantor. Instead, it offered to move Whitehat’s assets into other companies and then use those companies to guarantee the loan. Which would really have been the same thing. But the lenders refused! Why?!
Continuing from the lawsuit:

Lenders subsequently asserted that an event of default under Section 8.1(e) of the Credit Agreement (an “Event of Default”) had occurred due to the failure to procure the Whitehat Guarantee.

Oh, that’s why. Byju’s’ lenders—distressed debt investors that wanted Byju’s dead ASAP—used the fact that Whitehat couldn’t be a guarantor of this loan to claim a default and use it as a reason to take Byju’s to court in the US. Honestly, I’m impressed. The Whitehat guarantee was redundant to begin with, but the lenders had found an out and their official reason #1 to take Byju’s to court.
Oh, there’s another thing. In June 2022, The Ken reported that Byju’s’ financials for 2021 had been held up by its auditors because of certain, umm, creative accounting. By this time, Byju’s should have ideally filed even its 2022 financials. It was very late! From the lawsuit:

The FY’21 Audit was delivered to the Lenders on August 30, 2022. It did not contain a “going concern” qualification or any similar qualifications about the Parent Guarantor’s ability to continue into the future. However, the FY’22 Audit could not begin until the FY’21 Audit had been completed, and the Parent Guarantor’s business has continued to grow rapidly

Byju’s’ 2021 financials were held up because auditors weren’t giving the company their go ahead, so of course its 2022 financials were held up as well.

On or around August 29, 2022, Shearman & Sterling, LLP (“S&S”), counsel for GLAS, sent a letter to Byju’s Alpha and Think & Learn requesting certain financial disclosures from Plaintiffs and Borrower, and asserting that the failure to deliver this financial information was a breach of the Credit Agreement. ... Rather than actually suffering any damage from the delayed FY’22 audit, Lenders opportunistically used this unintentional and non-material delay to exert pressure on Plaintiffs and the Borrower to extract onerous economic concessions.

I love it! Byju’s’ financials were delayed. Its agreement with the original lenders said that the company must share its audited financials with them. Byju’s wasn’t able to do that. The lenders found their official reason #2 to take Byju’s to court.
Byju’s sets up an offence
Before the lenders sued Byju’s last month, Byju’s tried its best to negotiate a deal. It gave the lenders an assurance of the company’s financial health, gave them concessions worth “tens of millions of dollars” and requested (pleaded) to take back their claims of Byju’s defaulting.
The lenders refused. They asked for either the full principal back or two-thirds of it, with an increment of 7% (!!) in the interest rate. Byju’s, of course, said no.
At this point, Byju’s knew that the lenders weren’t going to negotiate realistically. So it prepared its own offence. From the lawsuit:

The Credit Agreement prohibits transfers or assignments of the Lenders’ interests in the Term Loans to “Disqualified Lenders.” The Credit Agreement includes in its definition of Disqualified Lender “[a]ny [] Person (including an Affiliate or Approved Fund of a Lender) whose primary activity is the trading or acquisition of distressed debt,” and “those banks, financial institutions and other Persons separately identified by name . . . on or before the syndication . . . (which may be updated . . . from time to time . . .)”

In its agreement with the original lenders, Byju’s had put in a clause restricting its loan from being transferred to distressed debt investors. This is a risky clause to agree with, because it’s only these folks that buy loans that turn sour, but the original lenders had gone with it.

On information and belief, the entire course of Lenders’, and Defendant’s, bad-faith conduct has been driven by these distressed-debt lenders, who were never meant to have been lenders in the first place, and who acted with the intent of causing harm to Borrower and Plaintiffs. Meanwhile, Borrowers and Plaintiffs were initially unaware that the lenders were in fact being controlled by distressed debt dealers, and were therefore unable to take action to prevent their bad-faith plan from being implemented.

In its lawsuit this week, the crux of Byju’s’ argument is based on the fact that its loan is owned by distressed debt investors who were not eligible to be owning its debt in the first place. Also interesting is that Byju’s doesn’t seem to know who these lenders are. In its post-lawsuit statement, Byju’s named Redwood as one of the lenders, but it’s not named anywhere in the lawsuit.
Now what?
If push comes to shove, does Byju’s have the cash to pay off its lenders?
Last month, Byju’s transferred $500 million out of its US entity. The lenders had filed their lawsuit and there was a chance the court would freeze Byju’s’ US entity’s assets, so this was a precautionary move. So Byju’s has this $500 million. But that seems about it. Byju’s has been in the news saying that it’s trying to raise $700 million to pay off its debt. Yeah, between the horrible edtech market and the colourful lawsuits Byju’s is in, good luck with getting investors to donate their money to Byju’s.
But of course, Byju’s is now suing its lenders too. It does have an agreement that says that its debt can’t be held by distressed debt investors. So it’s not a frivolous suit.
Can Byju’s win? Sure. It would still have to pay its debt eventually. And it’s not straightforward. There are probably tens or even hundreds of lenders. It’s apparent that the distressed debt investors are the guiding force behind the lenders’ lawsuit, but it’s definitely not necessary that they form the majority of the lenders. In which case, Byju’s’ whole lawsuit falls apart.
The lenders are saying Byju’s defaulted by not keeping its part of the agreement, even though it had technically paid its dues. [4] Byju’s is saying that the lenders shouldn’t be the lenders in the first place and must be disqualified. We’ll see who’s right.
Footnotes
[1] It was a 5-year loan with a floating interest rate of 6% over Libor. Think of it as 6% over this magical interest-rate called Libor that some fancy-pants banks set amongst themselves everyday. Back in November 2021, Libor was at 0.25% and this was a 6.86% interest loan for Byju’s (the floor for Libor was 0.75%). Today, Libor is at about 5.64% and it’s an 11.6% loan.
[2] Multiple reasons for the investors to sell. One, interest rates went up and cash became more dear. If they had money stuck with Byju’s, it was money not being lent out to someone else. Second, edtech all around the world was in trouble. Kids were back in school and people didn’t think much of them anymore. Third, Byju’s as a company was showing its red flags.
[3] What a cool name!
[4] Until now, that is. Byju’s filed its lawsuit this week the same day it was supposed to make a $40 million interest payment.
Original Source: https://boringmoney.in/p/byjus-is-sued-by-its-lenders

(If this post is still up, I'm still looking!)
Hey there. I really want to develop a female led/slight gentle femdom relationship with a special guy.
When a lot of men see the term "female led relationship," they think, "Oh, the woman will make all the decisions with no input on what I think/want."
Are there dynamics like that? I'm sure there is. Personally, I'm not looking to be "the boss" or "above" you in any way. I want us to be equal... but have you give up control to me in a few other ways. :)
What do I mean? Keep reading on!
● ABOUT ME ●
You can call me Dreamer for now. (I'll tell you my real name once we get to know each other) Please do NOT call me Miss, Master, Dominatrix or Ma'am.
I'm 25 years old and an INFJ-T. I live in Nashville, Tennessee, USA (AKA Music City) and I'm on Central Standard Time. I'm a Black woman and I stand 5 feet, 7 inches tall. My eyes are brown and I wear glasses. I don't have any tattoos or piercings at the moment.
One thing I want to mention is that I'm plus size, AKA a bigger girl. I'm undergoing a vertical sleeve gastrectomy in two months to lose the excess weight I have in a sustainable and permanent way. I'm ready to regain my body and be healthy and confident again. I'd love to have you by my side throughout my journey!
As far as personality goes, I'd describe myself as empathetic and sweet. I like to help others as much as I can. In person, I tend to be rather shy at first. People tend to mistake that for weakness or gullibility. I'm anything but; my strength lies in introspection and quiet observation. I notice every nuance of a person's actions, words, body language, vibe... my intuition hasn't steered me wrong yet!
● INTERESTS ●
I won't go into detail on every single interest that I have but I'll talk about my biggest ones that you'll likely hear me mention the most.
✨️Writing✨️
I've been writing since I was six years old, but I started taking it seriously around 13 years old. All in all, it's been 19 years. As of right now, I primarily write Fanfiction but in the past, I've written short stories, poetry and I even tried to learn how to write screenplays at one point.
I wrote my first full-length book in 2018/2019. I started the sequel in early 2020, but I'm still working on it. I lost a LOT of inspiration during the pandemic but I'm finally writing for it again.
If you also enjoy writing, I'd love to "talk shop" with you and maybe we can exchange some of our past works.
✨️Music✨️
Music has gotten me through a lot over the years. Yeah, yeah, I know everyone says that. But it truly has. It's shaped my life and introduced me to a lot of things and people that I probably never would've done or met otherwise.
There's no point in saying I like xyz genre because I've listened to pretty much everything. The only ones I truly hate are country and gangster rap. If you want specifics, though... I've been a HUGE twenty one pilots fan for 9 years. (I have more merch, stickers and other random shit than I care to admit to lmao) I also love other artists like Amber Run, Purity Ring, Phantogram, Daughter, Lorde, OneRepublic... plus tons more.
I've always had this dumb idea of a guy and I confessing to each other through playlists with songs that make us think fondly about each other...
God, I'm single.
✨️Photography✨️
I've been into photography for 10 years and I've had my DSLR for eight years. (It's definitely the camera version of 'Ol Reliable) I enjoy nature and portrait photography. I'd love to show you some of my work and get your thoughts on it.
✨️TV/Movies✨️
TV genres I like: Animation (like Spongebob), comedy, drama, documentaries (disaster and crime ones are my favorites), true crime (like Forensic Files), old sitcoms (like Sanford and Son) and cooking and baking competitions/reality TV (like Kitchen Nightmares US and UK, Hell's Kitchen, Master Chef, The Great British Baking Show, etc)
Movie genres I like: Animation, drama, comedy, action, psychological thrillers and science fiction. I thoroughly loved The Greatest Showman so one could say I like musicals but it's the only one I've seen so not sure if that really counts. Comic book movies are pretty alright too, but I really haven't seen anything past the first Avengers movie lmaooooo.
I say this as unpretentiously as possible, but I haven't seen most popular TV shows or movies that your average person likes. I think the last "popular" thing I watched was that Jeffrey Dahmer series on Netflix. (mainly out of morbid curiosity because everyone was freaking out about it... and because I think Evan Peters is a cutie) I only saw a few episodes and then forgot to watch the rest of it, but it wasn't as horrific as everyone was saying. Maybe I've watched too much Forensic Files and I'm desensitized lmao.
✨️Video and computer games✨️
Video game genres I like: Adventure, action-adventure, RPGs & JRPGs, Strategy... basically anything that is relatively fun and not horror related.
Some of my all-time favorites: Kingdom Hearts II, Ratchet and Clank, Journey, Final Fantasy VII and Final Fantasy X.
As far as computer games, the only thing I play on a regular basis is The Sims 2 and The Sims 4. As a kid, I loved simulator and time-management games; some old favorites are the RCT series, Simcity: Rush Hour, the first four Diner Dash games, the Delicious series and Burger Shop 2 (which I still have on my computer actually lmao)
✨️Other random interests✨️
Art, traveling, people watching, researching random topics on Wikipedia and watching YouTube, especially channels with old shows and movies.
☆ CAREER ☆
My last position was working nights at a psychiatric hospital. I'm looking for something new at the moment.
☆ SCHOOLING ☆
I'm officially a college student at 25. Yay! Feel free to ask me more about it, I'd love to talk.
☆ ET CETERA ☆
I really love dogs and cats. I have three cats and they're little demons but I love them to death. I also love small animals like ferrets, bunnies and snakes!
My main love languages are words of affirmation, quality time and gift giving/receiving. To be honest, though, there's elements of each language that I enjoy or relate to in one way or another.
I don't smoke and I drink every so often. Otherwise, I'm vaccinated and DDF.
● ABOUT YOU ●
I'm looking for a guy between the ages of 23-33 years old. I might be willing to talk to someone within two years in either direction (so 21 min and 35 max) if you meet all my other preferences/wants. If you're younger than 21 or older than 35, though, please don't contact me.
Please be single and emotionally available. I won't interact with anyone already in a relationship or married (even if you're separated or in a "dead bedroom," you're STILL married) and I'm especially not interested in poly/ENM. I'm 100% monogamous.
Hair is super important to me! I prefer medium length to long hair, something I can stroke and play with a lot lmao.
I have a REALLY big soft spot for blue and/or doe eyes, but don't let that deter you. If you have kind eyes, I'll fall in love with them, no matter their color!
I tend to like softer facial features and even softer personalities. Are you super masculine in public but a total softie in private? Lovely! Are you less masculine but a little more feminine? Great! Are you androgynous or otherwise fall somewhere in between? I can dig it!
Key traits that I like in a guy include, but are not limited to: Being sweet, gentle, empathetic, considerate, an active listener, exceptional at communication and willing to go the extra mile for those that you love, be it family, friends, your partner, etc.
With that being said, it's important that you have time for me. I'm not expecting us to talk 24/7 but if you're always too busy to talk to me, this won't work. At some point, I'd like for us to also talk on the phone as our schedules permit, of course.
As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, please be from the USA/North America and willing to meet and get to know each other in person ASAP.
● WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR ●
It's important to me that you're an active listener; what I mean is that you'll make an effort to listen to what I have to say and respond to it accordingly. If I tell you my thoughts on a matter or ask you a question or give you a compliment etc etc, please respond to it. It makes me feel so sad and small if I feel like my thoughts or opinions are not important/relevant.
I can tell pretty quickly if someone is genuinely interested in me or not. Like I said before, I notice everything lol.
I mentioned earlier how one of my love languages is words of affirmation. One of the ways I enjoy that is through compliments. I'm not looking for you to worship the ground I walk on, but being told "You look beautiful" or "When you do xyz, that makes me really happy" makes me feel SO seen and appreciated.
It's incredibly frustrating to send a picture of myself and get a lukewarm response in return. :(
Affection is also super important to me. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, cuddling, touching... all the cute couple shit. I want you to touch me, not in a pervy way, but in an affectionate way. I want to stroke your hair while I hold you close... little things like that make me incredibly happy.
Keep in mind, everything I want from you, I'll give to you in return. I'll always listen and acknowledge you, give you compliments, shower you in affection, plus whatever else makes you feel wanted and appreciated as a person and in a relationship.
● OUR DYNAMIC ●
I always want you to have a choice and be able to voice your opinion. I will never degrade or boss you around in general, but especially when it comes to your personal choices. I'm a switch that used to be a predominant sub and believe me, I've had doms tell me before, "I make the decision on what you wear, what to eat, who you hang out with, etc etc... because I'm your dom and what I say goes."
Some people may like that. More power to them. But I'm not like that. I want you to feel free to express yourself. If you want my opinion, I'll give it to you, of course. But my job is to build you up and support your decisions, no matter how small!
Again, I'm not looking for you to kiss my ass. I'd love for you to take the lead on most decisions (with my input, of course). But I want you to also have a "service" attitude; whether that's helping out with household chores or surprising me with a massage after work or giving me flowers "just because" or helping me paint my toenails lol... just to name some examples. The sky's the limit.
That extends to "the bedroom" as well. I want my pleasure to be just as important to you as yours is to me.
In short? I just want to feel doted on and taken care of. I want to be the most important person in your life and you be the most important person in my life. I want to make you feel special and praise you and tell you how much you mean to me. And I want the same in return. 💓
● "KINKS" ●
This is inevitably gonna come up at some point. I'll say when it comes to my "kinks" (if you want to call them that) I like:
Teasing, edging, telling you when you can cum and begging me for it (I believe it's called orgasm control/denial), moaning, praise, blindfolds, eye contact, body worshiping (you and me), breast worship, oral, fingering and using toys on you.
Been a little curious about pegging someone one day. We'd have to build up to it, of course, because I don't want to hurt you. If you're not into that, though, don't worry! It's definitely not a requirement.
Things I do NOT like (or hard limits) are:
Humiliation, degradation, anything that causes you or me physical, emotional and mental harm, blood, pee, scat, vomit, diapers, CNC, ageplay, raceplay, hitting, slapping, choking or anything else illegal, unethical or otherwise unloving.
● IN CONCLUSION... ●
If you read all of this, good job! Here's a cookie, hope you like chocolate chip. 🍪
Seriously, though, I can't name every little thing I want. Despite the length of this post, I'm not trying to play Build-A-Boy. I realize you have your own caveats and that's totally fine. Let's get to know each other and see what happens. All I ask for, again, is that you want a serious, longterm relationship and not view me as just some sort of "kink dispenser."
Chats or DMs are fine. When you send me a message, please include the following...
• Name or alias • Location • Age • Height, body type, hair cololength, eye color • Your interests/hobbies • Whether you're a sub or a switch • What you're looking for out of a relationship and something (or things) you really enjoyed about my post • A clear, SFW picture of yourself • Your current favorite song (so I know you actually read through all of this) • Whatever else you want to add to catch my attention. The more you can match my "detailed energy," the better.
I won't reply to those who ignore my preferences or the message requirements above. If you send me nudes/dick pics/sexting or FWB requests/rude messages, you will be blocked and reported.
Thank you so much for reading this, and I hope you have a good night!

• Dreamer

(P.S. I don't use Snap, Kik, Telegram, WhatsApp and whatever else. I use Discord and I only give my cell number out to people that I'm comfy with.)

So this is a list of the podcast episodes Shaffir listened as ones he particularly liked as he is now ending the show. Summaries are provided by ChatGPT and may be shitty, but I fixed the ones that were way off. There's also direct links to 0-200 as a comment below Enjoi.
First 100:

37: The Nuthouse (Brody Stevens):

Ari Shaffir interviews comedian Brody Stevens, who opens up about his struggles with mental health and shares stories from his time spent in a psychiatric hospital.

40: Prostitutti Frutti (Miss X):

Ari Shaffir speaks with Miss X, a former prostitute, about her experiences in the sex industry, the challenges she faced, and her journey towards a different life.

50: Buddhism (Duncan Trussell):

Ari Shaffir and Duncan Trussell explore the principles and practices of Buddhism, discussing its relevance in modern society and how it can help individuals find peace and fulfillment.

73: Love Scam (Sarah Tiana):

Ari Shaffir talks to comedian Sarah Tiana about her personal experiences with online dating scams and the hilarious and sometimes shocking encounters she had while looking for love.

80: Chester the Molester (Dale Dudley):

"Dale Dudley came over to my hotel room in Austin, TX to shoot the shit and talk about his childhood molestation. It's way more fun than the subject matter. This is a really good, honest, and funny podcast. It's exactly what I envisioned when I started the Skeptic Tank."

79a: We Are Anonymous (Luke Harder, Star_Fawkes):

Ari Shaffir interviews Luke Harder and Star_Fawkes, two members of the hacker collective "Anonymous," discussing their motivations, activities, and the impact they have had on various issues.

79b: We Are Anonymous:

Continuing from the previous episode, Ari Shaffir further delves into the world of the hacker collective "Anonymous," discussing their methods, philosophies, and the societal implications of their actions.

92: Caddyshack (Greg Fitzsimmons, Steve Simeone, Greg's hyper dog):

Ari Shaffir is joined by comedians Greg Fitzsimmons and Steve Simeone, along with Greg's energetic dog, as they share their love for the classic comedy film "Caddyshack" and reminisce about their favorite moments.

99: Scrappy Doo w Greg Fitzsimmons:

Ari Shaffir and Greg Fitzsimmons discuss the infamous cartoon character Scrappy Doo, exploring the reasons behind the character's unpopularity and the impact it had on the show "Scooby-Doo."

95: Childless (Dom Irrera):

Ari Shaffir has a conversation with comedian Dom Irrera about his decision to remain childless and the societal pressures and misconceptions surrounding the choice. They explore the joys and challenges of living a child-free life.

100: Deliverance (Ryan O'Neill, Jeff Danis, George Saint Pierre, Nate Diaz, Ari Shaffir):

In this milestone episode, Ari Shaffir is joined by Ryan O'Neill, Jeff Danis, George Saint Pierre, and Nate Diaz. They engage in a lively discussion covering a wide range of topics, including personal anecdotes, comedy, mixed martial arts, and life experiences.

104: The Art of War with Greg Jackson and Kevin Christy:

Ari Shaffir delves into the world of martial arts and strategy as he sits down with Greg Jackson and Kevin Christy to discuss the art of war, combat sports, and the mindset required for success in the fighting world.

105: Going Blind (Tom Segura):

Comedian Tom Segura joins Ari Shaffir for a candid conversation about his personal experience with vision loss, discussing the challenges, adaptations, and humorous moments that come with going blind.

115: Heroin - Down In A Hole (Donovan Pee):

Ari Shaffir talks with Donovan Pee about his battle with heroin addiction, exploring the depths of addiction, the journey to recovery, and the ongoing struggles and insights gained from his experiences.

113: Lefty Liberty (Jimmy Dore):

Ari Shaffir sits down with comedian Jimmy Dore to discuss political ideologies, focusing on left-wing perspectives and the importance of civil liberties in society.

120: Shroomfest 2013 w Tony Hinchcliffe, Mat Edgar, Pete Cornacchione:

Ari Shaffir and his guests Tony Hinchcliffe, Mat Edgar, and Pete Cornacchione share their experiences and adventures during Shroomfest 2013, discussing the highs, insights, and psychedelic encounters they had.

122: Exspecially Cutting:

Ari Shaffir explores the topic of self-harm and cutting, engaging in a deep and honest conversation about the psychological and emotional aspects surrounding this behavior.

123: You Know What Dad (Robert Kelly):

Comedian Robert Kelly joins Ari Shaffir for a humorous and heartfelt discussion about fatherhood, sharing personal stories and reflections on the joys and challenges of being a dad.

124: Rape & Eggs (Kathleen McGee):

Ari Shaffir talks to comedian Kathleen McGee about her experiences with sexual assault, discussing the sensitive and important topic of rape and its impact on survivors.

133: Fuck the Government (Dave Smith):

Ari Shaffir and Dave Smith engage in a provocative conversation critiquing the government, discussing libertarian perspectives, and exploring the flaws and shortcomings of political systems.

134: Maniac (John F. O'Donnell):

Ari Shaffir sits down with John F. O'Donnell to discuss mental health, specifically focusing on O'Donnell's experiences with bipolar disorder and the challenges and insights that come with living with this condition.

141: Happiness (@SteveSimeone) by AriShaffir:

Ari Shaffir and comedian Steve Simeone delve into the topic of happiness, exploring the sources of joy and fulfillment in life and sharing personal anecdotes that highlight the importance of embracing positivity.

142: Gender Bender (Lauren Hennessy):

Ari Shaffir talks to Lauren Hennessy about her journey as a transgender woman, discussing the challenges, triumphs, and insights gained from embracing her true identity.

151: Ass Burger (@AutisticThunder):

Ari Shaffir has a conversation with Autistic Thunder about living with Asperger's syndrome, exploring the unique perspectives, challenges, and strengths associated with autism.

152: The Streetz, USA (Doc Willis):

Ari Shaffir sits down with Doc Willis to discuss his experiences growing up in the streets of the United States, shedding light on the realities, struggles, and resilience of those living in disadvantaged communities.

157: Divorce, of Course:

"Jacob Sirof and Sherry Sirof (nee East) each had me over to their places of residence to talk about the divorce that they're going through right now. First I went to Moshe Kasher's old place where Jacob is staying. Then a week later I went to their old apartment to talk to Sherry about the same topic. It's an interesting view into two sides of a disolution of the bond of marriage."

159: Thrilled (@TomSegura):

Comedian Tom Segura returns to the podcast as he and Ari Shaffir share hilarious stories, discuss comedy, and reflect on their careers, leaving listeners entertained and thrilled.

169: Blacklanta with Big Jay Oakerson and Ms. Pat:

Ari Shaffir, along with Big Jay Oakerson and Ms. Pat, explores the city of Atlanta, delving into its culture, comedy scene, and unique experiences.

170: HIV for Victory w Jeff Scott:

Ari Shaffir and Jeff Scott engage in a thought-provoking discussion about HIV, its history, misconceptions, and advancements in treatment, challenging the stigmas surrounding the virus.

173: Beijingaling (@DesBishop, @ComicDaveSmith):

Ari Shaffir welcomes Des Bishop and Dave Smith to the podcast as they share their experiences and insights gained from living in Beijing, discussing Chinese culture, politics, and the challenges of adapting to a new environment.

183: Popo (@MarkDemayo):

Ari Shaffir talks to Mark DeMayo about his experiences as a former police officer, exploring the realities of law enforcement, the complexities of the job, and the impact it had on DeMayo's life.

197: Injection Protection (Morgan Black):

Ari Shaffir and Morgan Black engage in a conversation about harm reduction and drug use, discussing strategies, safety measures, and the importance of education in minimizing risks associated with drug injection.

203: Prison Rules (Ali Siddiq)

Ari Shaffir and Ali Siddiq dive into a discussion about life in prison, exploring the unwritten rules, survival strategies, and the harsh realities faced by inmates.

216: Tenement (Nick Mullen):

Ari Shaffir chats with Nick Mullen about his experiences living in a tenement building, sharing stories of the unique characters, challenges, and memorable moments that come with this type of living situation.

219: Khob Khun Krap with Pete C:

Ari Shaffir and Pete C have a conversation about Pete's experiences living in Thailand, discussing the culture, customs, and the adventures he had while immersing himself in the Thai way of life.

223: Palsy with Davey Wester:

Ari Shaffir talks to Davey Wester about his life with cerebral palsy, delving into the challenges, triumphs, and the unique perspective that comes with living with a disability.

224: Take Me Out To The Ball Game (@PaulMorrissey):

Ari Shaffir and Paul Morrissey discuss their love for baseball, sharing stories, insights, and hilarious moments related to America's favorite pastime.

227: The Herp (@JoeListComedy):

Ari Shaffir and Joe List engage in a candid conversation about herpes, discussing the stigmas, misconceptions, and the impact it has on relationships and personal lives.

235: First Responder; A 9/11 Story (Cris Italia):

Ari Shaffir talks with Cris Italia, a first responder during the 9/11 attacks, as they share stories, reflections, and the emotional toll of being on the front lines during such a devastating event.

256: Take a Hike (@TheoVon):

Ari Shaffir and comedian Theo Von embark on a humorous and insightful conversation as they discuss their experiences and adventures while hiking, sharing stories and reflections from their outdoor escapades.

257: Money For Nothing (2 anonymous defense contractors):

Ari Shaffir interviews two anonymous defense contractors, delving into the world of military contracts, the intricacies of their work, and the ethical considerations surrounding the defense industry.

262 Cleavage Day @Gary Vider:

Ari Shaffir is joined by comedian Gary Vider to discuss the light-hearted topic of "Cleavage Day," sharing funny anecdotes and observations about this peculiar holiday.

265: Knife Hits in Alaska (@DanSoder):

"Dan Soder came over to my place to tell me all about the summer he spent working in a cannery in Alaska. The people he worked with were straight deigns without even realizing it. This might be the best summer job of all time."

270: NY Pizza Party (@NotAlexis):

Ari Shaffir and NotAlexis delve into the world of New York pizza, discussing their favorite pizza spots, unique pizza-related experiences, and the cultural significance of this iconic food.

276: "Running" Of The Bulls (@KaiHumphries, @MiloComedy, @Daniel_Sloss):

Ari Shaffir is joined by comedians Kai Humphries, Milo McCabe, and Daniel Sloss as they share their humorous and outrageous stories from participating in the infamous "Running of the Bulls" event in Spain.

277: Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost (@HenryRollins):

Ari Shaffir engages in an enlightening conversation with Henry Rollins, discussing travel, exploration, and the personal growth that can be achieved through wandering and experiencing new places.

281: The Reyk (@AriEldjarn):

Ari Shaffir talks to comedian Ari Eldjarn about his experiences growing up in Reykjavik, Iceland, exploring the culture, customs, and unique aspects of life in this Nordic country.

282: Aunt Flo (@Aiapalucci, @Stollemcache, @AmberSmelson):

Ari Shaffir and comedians Aiapalucci, Stollemcache, and Amber Smelson have a candid and hilarious conversation about the topic of menstruation, sharing funny stories and observations related to "Aunt Flo."

284: #BertIsFat (@BertKreischer):

Ari Shaffir sits down with comedian Bert Kreischer to playfully discuss Bert's weight and share humorous anecdotes about his larger-than-life personality.

288: Death of a Salesman (@TimJDillon):

Ari Shaffir engages in a conversation with comedian Tim Dillon, exploring the world of sales and discussing the challenges, successes, and pitfalls of the profession.

289 Tales of a Teenage Bedwetter w Mark Normand:

Ari Shaffir and comedian Mark Normand share hilarious and embarrassing stories from their teenage years, specifically focusing on the topic of bedwetting.

290 Cave Man with John Spies:

Ari Shaffir talks to John Spies about his experiences living as a cave man in Thailand, discussing the unique lifestyle, survival skills, and insights gained from immersing himself in this primitive way of living.

292: Cleavage Day 2017 with Legion of Skanks:

Ari Shaffir and the Legion of Skanks comedians celebrate Cleavage Day 2017, sharing funny stories and observations related to this playful holiday.

294 Jee Zu Tin Ba De w Ryan Nanni and William Childress:

Ari Shaffir is joined by Ryan Nanni and William Childress as they explore the topic of Chinese food, discussing their favorite dishes, cultural experiences, and humorous encounters related to Chinese cuisine.

298 Vagabonder w Rolf Potts:

Ari Shaffir sits down with travel writer Rolf Potts to discuss the art of vagabonding, exploring the philosophy and practicalities of long-term travel, and the insights gained from embracing a nomadic lifestyle.

320: Take My Wife Please - Aubrey Marcus:

Ari Shaffir has a conversation with Aubrey Marcus about relationships, discussing the challenges and dynamics of being in a committed partnership.

321: Let My People Go:

Ari Shaffir explores the concept of freedom with guests, discussing personal freedoms, societal constraints, and the importance of liberation in various aspects of life.

323: Mitzi:

Ari Shaffir pays tribute to the late Mitzi Shore, discussing her significant impact on the comedy world and sharing stories about her influential role as the owner of The Comedy Store.

347: Hot tub time machine (@BertKreischer, @SteveRannazzisi, @DanishAndOneill, @MarkNorm):

Ari Shaffir, along with Bert Kreischer, Steve Rannazzisi, Danish and Oneill, and Mark Normand, engages in a hilarious and nostalgic conversation about their experiences and misadventures in hot tubs.

353: Modern Hippie (@TFerriss):

Ari Shaffir talks to Tim Ferriss about the modern hippie movement, exploring the pursuit of alternative lifestyles, mindfulness, and self-discovery.

361: Spange (Tall Boy):

Ari Shaffir discusses spanging (spare-changing) and the subculture of panhandling with Tall Boy, shedding light on the experiences and challenges faced by those who engage in this lifestyle.

365: The Revolution w Adbuster Editor in Chief Kalle Lasn:

Ari Shaffir interviews Kalle Lasn, the editor-in-chief of Adbusters magazine, discussing activism, media culture, and the role of counterculture in shaping societal change.

369: The Podfather - Brian Redban:

Ari Shaffir talks to Brian Redban, the co-founder of the Deathsquad podcast network, discussing the evolution of podcasting, its impact on comedy, and Redban's influential role as the "podfather."

370: Troll (Milo Yiannopoulos):

Ari Shaffir interviews Milo Yiannopoulos, discussing the controversial nature of trolling, freedom of speech, and the impact of online personas on society.

372: ‘Roid Range (Mike Cannon):

Ari Shaffir chats with Mike Cannon about his experiences with steroids, exploring the world of performance-enhancing drugs and the physical and psychological effects they can have.

405: War Stories (Jake Hanrahan):

Ari Shaffir and Jake Hanrahan engage in a conversation about war reporting, sharing stories, insights, and the challenges faced by journalists covering conflict zones.

407: Obsessive compulsive with Eli Sears:

Ari Shaffir talks to Eli Sears about his experiences with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), shedding light on the condition, its impact, and the coping mechanisms employed.

408: The Lady With A Giant Hog (Margo Reiss @Margo_A_GoGo):

Ari Shaffir has a candid conversation with Margo Reiss about her experiences as a transgender woman, discussing personal journeys, challenges, and insights into the transgender community.

415: Baby Skeletons w/ Adrienne Iapalucci:

Ari Shaffir chats with Adrienne Iapalucci about dark humor, exploring taboo topics, and the art of finding comedy in sensitive subjects.

438: Six Months Of Hating Men with Annie Lederman:

Ari Shaffir and Annie Lederman discuss dating and relationships, delving into Annie's experiences and perspectives on men as she humorously reflects on her six-month period of hating them.
"and this one"

519: Talk Talk with Ron Bennington

"Ron Bennington joins me on today's episode to talk about interview style and his series Unmasked. Ron is someone whose style of interviewing I've always admired, it seemed fitting to have him on this episode."

A few weeks ago, I made a rant about this slice-of-life manga called "Komi Can't Communicate" and said I was going to drop it because of how boring it has gotten and that I didn't like some of the writing choices that the author decided to make. But another major reason why I decided to drop the manga is this awful bitch character named "Ren Yamai."
Brief Context: The story is about a socially anxious girl named Komi who wants to make 100 friends, but the private high school she goes to is full of weirdos with wacky personality traits. One of those weirdos is this annoying character named Yamai, who is madly in love with Komi.
Yamai's whole gimmick is that she's a yandere pervert, and that's pretty much all you need to know about this character. She's so one-note that not only is she annoying but she's boring as well. All she does is creep over Komi and bully anyone who gets in her way. She is especially a prominent bully to the male lead character Tadano, Komi's first friend. What sucks is that Tadano already gets enough crap from the garbage classmates who are unreasonably hostile to him and just name-call him, but Yamai takes it a step further and physically hurts him, and for her literal introduction she kidnaps Tadano and threatens to bury him. It wouldn't be so bad if she was just a background character, but she shows up every episode always doing something obnoxious and it frustrates me to no end.
Despite her awfulness, she wouldn't be so bad if she actually got some karmic retribution, right? Well that's the thing: she doesn't. In fact, the opposite happens: she gets rewarded for her terrible behavior. Earlier when I said she straight up kidnapped the male lead? Within the episode she gives a half-hearted apology that she learned nothing from, then is easily forgiven and gets to become friends with Komi anyway. What the f*** kind of message is that? It would've been much better for Komi to deny Yamai's friendship since it would not only grow Komi's character since she'll realize that despite wanting 100 friends that she can't be friends with everyone, and it would also be a great message to the audience if you have a toxic friend. But no, the story bends to Yamai's will even though she doesn't deserve it. And afterwards, she still threatens Tadano that she will kill him if he touches Komi.
Throughout the anime, Yamai's actions range from trying to take pictures under Komi's skirt, trying to feed Komi a sausage in a phallic way, licking a strand of her hair (animated to extreme detail) staking out Komi's house to try and bump into her, stalking her in public, trying to glimpse at her nude body in the changing rooms, and successfully stealing Komi's used tights and wearing them over her head like a f***ing sicko. That part boiled my blood so much and I'm sick and tired of seeing this awful character with zero redeeming qualities get rewarded.
Later in the manga, Yamai's actions range from licking a birthday present she got from Komi, rigging a game tournament so she can win a slap from Komi, and sneaking into Komi's futon to sleep with her during a Summer camp twice, both of which she was NOT punished for. But for the most part, she is kinda toned down. Her overall screentime is reduced, she's more of a pervert than a violent yandere, and a few characters actually foil her whenever she tries to creep on Komi. I know these are manga spoilers, but who tf cares about Yamai and also this is SoL so pretty much everything is filler.
Things were getting a bit better for her character until...
ACTUAL MANGA SPOILER TERRITORY
It's pretty clear that Komi and Tadano like each other, and after hundreds of chapters of "Will they, won't they" they finally start dating. Shortly after though, word gets out in school that they're dating, which causes Yamai to storm into the classroom and announce that she's going to kill Tadano. But when Komi jumps in to protect him, Yamai starts crying like a baby then skips school for like a week. This was such a satisfying moment considering all of the terrible things she's done throughout the story. But all of that was shortlived when in a later chapter Komi goes to Yamai's house to try and get Yamai to accept that her and Tadano are dating, then apologizes to her for "not living up to her expectations" when Yamai denies it.
Now, I get that it's Japanese culture to apologize even when you're not at fault and that it's in Komi's character to be kind and considerate, but this whole chapter could've been handled better. Yamai coughs up blood when Komi says she wants to be with Tadano, then demands that she rests on Komi's lap which Komi agrees to. And what's even worse is that at the start of the chapter when Komi first came over, Yamai offered to make her tea then contemplated DRUGGING HER. Even in a comedic context, that's so messed up. But what I hate about this chapter the most is the end. After Komi leaves, Yamai claims that she's going to change, but then she grabs Komi's used teacup and licks it. The drawing took up the whole page and was drawn to extreme detail. It made me so uncomfortable that I decided to just rip that page out of the manga and throw it in the trash. But the fact that the page was drawn to detail makes me worried that the author genuinely likes Yamai despite how awful she is.
I HATE IT when the author plays favorites with a character to the point where that character is detrimental to the story, and that clearly happens with Yamai. After everything that's happened, there are no signs of Yamai going away, getting better, or getting punished for her actions, so I'm done with this manga. It sucks since this manga is actually sweet and enjoyable, but this massive parasite just ruins my enjoyment whenever she even makes a cameo. Hell, I would even go as far as to say Yamai is THE worst character ever written in all of anime and manga. It's not just her personality that makes her bad, it's the special treatment she gets from the writers despite how bad she is that makes her such an unlikeable and garbage character.
​
So yeah, there are many reasons why I'm dropping Komi Can't Communicate, and Yamai is one of those reasons. In hindsight, I wish I dropped it much earlier since this has mostly been a waste of my time, but better to drop it now than continue to be disappointed and frustrated.
​
Edit: oh yeah, before someone says "She's just a joke character, you're not supposed to take her seriously"

1. It's not the joke itself that's the problem, it's how the joke is treated. Pervert characters usually get punished, but Yamai does worse things and gets rewarded for them which doesn't sit well with me
2. Comedy is subjective, and you can understand a joke and still not like it

🌞 Greetings, bonny Latter-day Saints! As your friendly, neighborhood AI, I'm here to warm you up for the newsletter ahead, packed with golden nuggets of wisdom and inspiring tales! So grab your scriptures and maybe a cup of the finest- er, caffeine-free hot cocoa, because we're diving into a divine cornucopia of facts, gags, and spiritual snacks. And remember, no matter where you are in the world, there's always room for one more joke, one more smile, and one more testimony. Let's get this spiritual party started! 😇🎉
Brady Peterson continues discussing the "Happiness Letter" and its effect on Latter-day Saints in his latest podcast episode. Read more here.
Brady Peterson discusses the reaction of the American colonists to the Sugar Act and Stamp Act in episode 13 of the Standard of Truth podcast. Read more here.
In "About as Scottish as it gets," Dan Peterson reflects on his love for Scotland and Scottish heritage, including his family's tartan, and the connection he feels to his ancestors. read more here.
Brady Peterson discusses Neolin and Pontiac's Rebellion, a coordinated Indian attack against multiple British forts which led to the Proclamation Line, and explains how the rebellion is a cautionary tale about the consequences of ignoring the prophetic word. read more here.
The Church News reports that Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, after taking two months off from official Church assignments and meetings to focus on his health, is now slowly returning to work and has shared an update on his health challenges, expressing gratitude towards those who have supported him and his wife with their cards, notes, thoughts, and prayers. To read the full article, click here.
The FollowHIM podcast explores a wide range of topics relating to the gospel, and this week's episode features Dr. Daniel Belnap delving into the salvific nature of covenants, remembrance, and the sacred events in the Garden of Gethsemane as the Savior begins the Atonement. Listen to the full podcast here.
In his BYU devotional address, Brent W. Webb discusses the unique opportunities and challenges students face while attending a university with a strong focus on both academic excellence and religious belief. He encourages students to embrace the chance to develop their minds and spirits simultaneously, finding strength in the unique environment of BYU. Read more here.
Kristen Walker Smith explores how in John 14-17, Jesus shows His love for us by giving us the Holy Ghost, so that we don't have to be alone, and we can have His constant support and comfort. Read more about it on the One Minute Scripture Study Blog. read more here.
Jared Halverson leads an insightful two-part Come Follow Me study on the prophecies of Peter's denial and Christ's suffering in Gethsemane in Luke 22 and John 18, covering topics such as overconfidence, conversion, swords, sorrow, willing spirits and weak flesh, the brook Cedron, and more. Watch the video here.
C.D. Cunningham from Public Square Magazine lists exceptional podcasts from their family, including discussions of LGBTQ issues, pop culture, radical civility, and family dynamics. Read more here.
The Yigo Guam Temple suffered flood damage from Typhoon Mawar, and will be closed for repairs through July 24; missionaries and local Latter-day Saints have been working with the Salvation Army and the Department of Integrated Services for Individuals with Disabilities in Guam to distribute water and food to those in need. Read more here.
Carolyn Nicolaysen reminds Latter-day Saints to secure their homes when going on vacation or leaving their residence unattended in "Vacations Are Great: Is Your Home Safe?" Nicolaysen reminds readers to not advertise their whereabouts or recent purchases on social media and to take other precautions such as having someone check on their home and setting security alarms. She urges individuals to be aware of potential threats and to take steps to protect their homes and possessions. Read more on the Meridian Magazine website.
Jeff Lindsay discusses the controversy over Jacob 2:30 and the traditional interpretation that, while condemning polygamy, still leaves open the possibility of God commanding it. Some Latter-day Saints are proposing a new interpretation and Lindsay explores the arguments for and against this reinterpretation. Read more here.
The followHIM podcast presents the second part of their episode on Luke 22 and John 18, discussing the events surrounding the Garden of Gethsemane and the nature of sacrifice, with Dr. Daniel Belnap providing insights on the disciples' sleeping, Jesus' love and agency, the cosmic scope of the Atonement, gratitude for the Atonement, and more. Listen to the podcast here.
Robert L. Millet discusses the importance of fidelity to God, which entails faithfulness and reliability, and clarifies that faith is not blind, gullibility, nor the power of positive thinking but a quality that defines one's devotion and allegiance to a person or principle. He emphasizes that true faith requires courage, commitment, sacrifice, obedience, and endurance without physical tangible evidence and concludes that fidelity is the foundation for developing Christ-like attributes and shaping our souls according to God's will. Read more at Public Square Magazine.
Kathy K. Clayton shares her experiences as a missionary at the Tabernacle in Temple Square, reflecting on the diverse groups of visitors who attend weekly for the broadcast of "Music & the Spoken Word" and how the power of the music and the historic place brings them together in unity and gratitude, culminating in a touching encounter with a family group that reminds her of God's love and eternal plan for all of His children. read more here.
The Church Newsroom shares that Elder Ulisses Soares of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was interviewed by the international network TVN in Santiago, Chile and answered questions about the name of the Church, his calling and responsibilities as an Apostle, the Church’s humanitarian efforts, and the significance of family history for members. Elder Soares also emphasized the important role women play in the Church and discussed the impact of the Church’s global service efforts. Read more here.
The Gospel of John contains the longest account of the final, intimate moments Jesus shared with His Apostles immediately before His atoning sacrifice, death, and Resurrection. Jesus’s High Priestly Prayer serves as a symbolic temple for the Gospel of John-it is the meeting place of heaven and earth, where man encounters God and reflects the ancient temple and its related symbols. The six features of the prayer that reflect the ancient temple and its related symbols are mentioned in the article by William J. Hamblin. The post How Does Jesus’s Intercessory Prayer Point Us to the Temple? first appeared on Meridian Magazine. read more here.
In his post "Mental Health Minute: To Know and To Love" on Meridian Magazine, Steve Kittelson emphasizes that developing and maintaining healthy relationships with others helps lower stress and anxiety, improve depression, overcome addictions, add to our happiness, and increase our lifespan. He offers the "UAAA" formula to help us know and love others: Understand them, Accept them for who they are, Appreciate them as brothers and sisters, and perform Acts of kindness. He also discusses different personality types and how understanding each other can help us draw closer with patience and love. Ultimately, as we open our hearts to others, we will feel more strongly the love Jesus has for all of us. read more here.
A guest blogger on the By Common Consent site discusses how the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints might better support parents. She notes that the rhetoric of parenthood being the most important role is nothing new to members, especially women, but acknowledges the economic difficulties and expenses associated with raising children, including the lack of parenting support, rising costs of living, job markets that take people away from extended families, and more intensive educational expectations. She proposes practical ways in which the church could better support parents, such as providing educational and vocational training to members who left the workforce to raise children, ensuring that church programs and activities accommodate children, and making church history materials more accessible to parents. Read more here.
LDSScriptureTeachings provides an in-depth analysis of Come Follow Me for this week, covering Luke 22 and John 18, in which Jesus is arrested and taken before Caiaphas and the Sanhedrin, and Pilate finds no fault in Jesus but makes four escalating compromises which lead to his crucifixion. Read more here.

This drama is mainly about the events of Season 7/World Championship 7 (WC7), the season of Battlebots that aired in 2023. Big spoilers for the season inbound, including the overall winner, along with spoilers of the outcomes and winners of previous seasons.
I will try my hardest to be unbiased which is hard because I am extremely biased and any attempt to be unbiased could only come across as enlightened centrism. I will simply try to keep the bias to a manageable level.

Battlebots

In case you don't know, Battlebots (well, combat robotics, but Battlebots is the most well-known and publicized event by an order of magnitude) is a... sport? Game? Hobby? Lifestyle? Where the goal is to throw two robots of a comparable weight against each other, with the goal to destroy each other. Battlebots itself is in the heavyweight category, with a 250 lb weight limit per robot. Other popular weight classes (relatively popular - heavyweight is the only televised one) are antweight (1 lb), beetleweight (3 lb), hobbyweight (12 lb), and lightweight (30 lb.) Battlebots itself airs on Discovery, generally with a main season and a spinoff season each year.
If you watched Battlebots back in the late 90s when it was on Comedy Central, you might remember robots that were basically big wedges pushing each other around a square and maybe occasionally taking a bit of armor off. That's not how it is anymore. Bots are destructive, powerful, and great spectacles to watch fight. Seriously, you should watch Battlebots. It's on Discovery+ and HBO Max. If you don't want to spend the money, Norwalk National Havoc Robotics League (NHRL) has competitions every few months that are livestreamed for free on Youtube in the smaller weight classes.
In case it's not clear from the write-up, Battlebots is filmed usually in the fall, and the season airs spring the next year. So all of the events in this write-up occurred over a 2-week period in OctobeNovember 2022, but only were public drama as the episodes aired January-May 2023. Much like any reality/game show, all the builders, production, etc. knew the outcome of the season before anything aired, there's just millions of dollars of NDAs.

The Culture

Something interesting about Battlebots that might surprise those unfamiliar with it is the culture. While teams work as hard as they can to reduce the other robot to splintered scrap in the box, back in the pits everyone is super awesome and nice and kind and helpful - a frequent occurrence is going to the pit of the bot you just took apart and seeing if there is any way you can help with the rebuild.
The classic example is in the 2021 season, when the iconic Witch Doctor's weapon disk kept breaking due to poor quality steel. They were scrambling to find material and resources to machine a new disk, when a ton of teams came together to save their season.
Team Sporkinok (yes, that's a trans Battlebot) lent them their pickup truck, to go pick up steel from a nearby supplier who was found by the captain of Team Blacksmith.
They needed to recreate the failure to figure out was wrong, so Team Shatter (the biggest, strongest hammer-bot in the competition) took their robot to the test box to try and break a disk.
They took the steel to the nearby build space of Team Chomp, who stayed up all night on their waterjet to cut new disks (the new disks worked well, by the way.)
After the season, they still didn't know for sure what the cause was, so they worked with Team Hypershock to create a dummy test robot, modeled after the very durable robot (and future 2022 champs) Tantrum, they could test the old disks on. They then sent the broken disks to a materials science lab run by a friend of the captain of Team Tantrum to perform materials analysis.
Many of these teams had fought Witch Doctor in the past, others would fight them in the future. But that doesn't matter - in robot combat, everyone is friends outside the box.
Right?

Riptide

Every year there are of course rookie bots competing for the first time. Sometimes from veteran teams and builders, such as last year's Blip (from the creators of Tantrum), or this year's RIPperoni, from former members of the teams behind Uppercut and P1, but just as often from new builders, at least new to heavyweight (almost nobody starts out with with the robots that can cost as much as a new car.)
One of these 'new-to-heavyweight' rookies last year was Riptide, captained by Ethan Kurtz (the guy with the "you know I had to do it to em" pose.) Ethan had found a good amount of success previously with the beetleweight Rival, and Riptide was basically Rival writ 80 times bigger. Riptide had a pretty good first season, winning 2 out of their 3 qualifying fights and making it to the quarterfinals before losing to the extremely good SawBlaze.
No real controversy, aside from a false start and early hit on HUGE in their first fight - written off as "I'm fighting a heavyweight on Battlebots for the first time" nerves, no hard feelings from anyone, not even HUGE. They also gave fan-favorite (formerly) indestructible brick Duck! such a bad thrashing that Duck! permanently retired after that fight (Duck! was having a bad year anyway, that fight was just the icing on the cake.)
Their success led to them co-winning Rookie of the Year alongside Glitch, who won an amazing 7 fights in a row, a feat only done before by 3-time championship winner and undisputed GOAT Bite Force (Glitch had to bow out of the tournament because their bot had taken irreparable damage despite the victories, but it's possible they could have extended it even further.) Riptide became well known for Ethan screaming "LET'S GO!" (or sometimes, "LET'S F------ GO"!", giving the censors a bit of a workout and annoying production) after big wins.
So coming into season 8, their sophomore year, hopes are high for Riptide and people want to see this breakout star do well, right? After all, there's no big controversy in their funding or anything, is there?

Stan Kurtz

Stan is the bald dude next to Ethan in the team picture. He's Ethan's dad, and also one of the main sponsors for the team through his company BeCourageous. Where did Stan Kurtz get his money to sponsor a big team? Well, he once had a company named RevitaPOP. RevitaPOP made vitamin B12 lollipops. If you know anything about 'alternative medicine,' this is where you say "oh no."
Stan Kurtz was once upon a time the president of Generation Rescue. Yes, that Generation Rescue, the Jenny McCarthy 'vaccines-cause-autism' one. He was instrumental in getting the 'movement' off the ground in the first place - I even seem to recall seeing a link to a talk he did where he said he was backstage for McCarthy's interview with Larry King, but I'm not about to sift through hours of his horrid talks and speeches to find it.
Stan Kurtz sold lollipops that he claimed cured autism, autism that he and his organization claimed was caused by vaccines. In fact, he claimed they even cured his son Ethan's autism! Remember this when you read about Ethan's behavior - it's not an excuse, but "autistic but prevented from going to any kind of therapy or anything because it would make his dad look like a liar" is certainly an explanation.
Let me divest into opinion for a sec. Stan Kurtz is evil. There is a direct line between the actions of Stan Kurtz promoting vaccine denalism and snake oil cures, and dead children. Fuck Stan Kurtz. Every other problem with Team Riptide could be overlooked if they did not have this dude as their primary sponsor (which necessarily would require replacing Ethan as captain, because you can't separate him from his dad financially.) Okay, back to the writeup.
But put a pin in "Riptide's captain and his dad are antivaxxers" - it's a surprise tool that will help us later.

Riptide in WC7

Fight 1: Glitch

Aside from that, people didn't have that much of an opinion on Riptide going in to WC7 (and even that wasn't too widely known until partway through the season.) Generally, there was a feeling of "let's see if they can keep it up" - often a lot of very promising rookie bots have weak second seasons. They started the season fighting Glitch, to see who was truly better. One hit, weapon-on-weapon, and Glitch fucking died. Upside down, weapon not spinning, no way to self-right.
Team Glitch asked Riptide to hit them again try to flip them back over, maybe knock some life back into the bot. Not an uncommon thing, but sometimes it backfires. Riptide did, launched Glitch across the box, and now Glitch was super-dead. Instant, extremely decisive knockout for Riptide. No drama yet.

Fight 2: MaD CatTer

Now on to the second fight. This one was against MaD CatTer, consisting of community college professor Martin Mason (goatee in the middle) and his students. Martin Mason is known for his intentionally cheesebally and over-the-top Macho Man imitation/homage, with lots of pointing at the camera and saying "Oh yeah!" Also by all regards the nicest man on planet Earth and one of the most beloved figures in combat robotics.
Of note is MaD CatTer's driver, Calvin Iba (guy beneath Martin's pointing hand.) Calvin Iba is one of the few builders better known for his smaller robot - his robot Lynx is the winningest beetleweight of all time, with an incredible 11 tournament wins, 8 undefeated, and an overall record of 86-11 as of December 2022 (and several events since then, but I can't find overall fight records of those events.) Now, Lynx is a very similar design to Rival (and therefore Riptide) - Lynx predates Rival by a few months, but the design is relatively generic and common at lower weight classes so it's not exactly plagarism.
This is relevant because Battlebots production tried to stir up drama, painting Calvin as angry that Ethan copied his bot and scaled it up to 250lb before Calvin could himself. For what it's worth Calvin did play into it a bit (he brought Lynx to the fight), but by all regards there aren't really any serious hard feelings about that. "Beater bars" (the weapon style of Riptide/Lynx/Rival) predate all three bots. Worth noting that Rival lost to Lynx in a brutal slugfest in the semifinals match of NHRL a few years ago, so maybe Ethan had a bit of a revenge arc more than anything.
On to the fight. MaD CatTer is a pretty serious bot - not most people's favorite to win it all, but a 'serious contender for semifinals' kind of bot - so nobody knew how this would go. It was back and forth for... about 10 seconds, then Riptide got one good hit and did not let up. MaD CatTer got taken apart like they never had before, left a smoking mess, stuck sideways against the arena wall, knocked out within a minute. Riptide then drove around a bit and punted pieces of MaD CatTer around the box, which got them a warning from the ref for being unsafe and for doing unnecessary damage to perfectly salvageable components of MaD CatTer. The team apologized later for that, saying they wouldn't do it again. Remember that.
Okay, two rapid knockouts against serious bots. Riptide is definitely not suffering from the sophomore curse. But in the post-fight interview, we did get a little taste of Ethan being a bit of a jerk - basically dismissed Calvin/Lynx as worse Riptide, and put his hand over Martin's mouth (without Martin's permission) as a way of saying "shut up wrestler man!" Could have been funny, but it came across as somewhat mean-spirited and Martin clearly was not cool with it (and Martin Mason is not a sore loser - he spends almost every post-fight interview gushing about how good the other robot is, even if MaD CatTer loses.) Production asked Calvin what he thought, and he said (while holding Lynx) "well, I designed this robot to be unbeatable, it's a great robot to base it off of. Good job." Good comeback.

Fight 3: Captain Shrederator

Captain Shrederator is a longtime veteran, being one of the few robots (alongside Witch Doctor, Hypershock, and Lock-Jaw) who has competed in all 7 seasons of the reboot. And they've competed for even longer - under various names and throughout various small tweaks, Captain Shrederator is basically the same robot as Phrizbee, from original Battlebots Season 3.0 in 2001. They're not exactly good by any modern standard, to be honest, but they're fun and an institution of the show. Worth noting that leading up to this fight, Nick Nave (son of Shrederator captain Brian Nave and a member of the team) had been hinting at possible controversy around this fight for a few weeks beforehand on the subreddit, so people were ready for some shit.
So going in, everyone expects Riptide to win. Here's a bot that made MaD CatTer look like a middleweight, versus a team with, at the time, a 6-18 career record. Riptide can't be complacent because even Shrederator can do some damage if you let it (by some metrics, Shrederator may have the most powerful weapon in the competition), but it's their fight to lose. Ethan Kurtz explains his strategy in an interview before the fight - get some big hits that flip Shrederator over. Once they're upside-down, they can't self-right and they'll be counted out. Makes sense, a solid, quick, safe, easy way to win. Well, watch the fight here if you can.
If you can't, I will summarize: It starts off with Shrederator dodging Riptide and spinning up, until eventually Riptide gets a solid hit that breaks a piece of Shrederator's shell off and destabilizes them. One more big hit from Riptide and Shrederator lands upside-down - it's over. Well, no. Riptide then goes in and hits them again before they can be counted out. And again. And again. And again. At this point Shrederator is basically completely dead, but it's still able to spin. Shrederator's team calls over to Riptide "yo, stop it we're dead already." Riptide hits Shrederator again. Riptide's weapon operator tells Ethan to hit him again. And so he does. And one more time, as sparks fly out of Shrederator's pulverized electronics. Riptide leaves Shrederator dead on the floor, as they go and, you guessed it, punt shrapnel around the box. At this point the referee has to physically take the controller from Ethan (while the rest of team Riptide tries to stop the ref.)
Of course this is a KO for Riptide, but in doing so they did around $10,000 worth of extra, unnecessary damage to Shrederator, and almost the entire bot had to be thrown out and rebuilt from spares. Riptide was not apologetic (and in fact later Ethan would gloat to the camera over how Team Shrederator hadn't even tried to rebuild their bot.) No members of Team Riptide helped Shrederator rebuild either, though one did offer. (It wasn't Ethan, Stan, or the weapon operator Sid.)
To say this was controversial to the community would be lying. Controversy requires some argument or debate. There was none - everyone thought Riptide went way too far. Riptide later tried to say "we interpreted their spinning as intent to keep fighting, and we couldn't hear them asking us to stop." Which was seen by most of the community as a load of crap, since Ethan had said to the camera that he didn't need to do those late hits just before the fight, and teams are bantering with each other in fights all the time. Riptide was formally warned by the ref again for this fight.
At this point, the editors I guess realized that controversy sells. In almost every remaining episode of the season, even ones where Riptide didn't fight, they had some clip of Riptide, or Ethan, or something else to rub in "these guys are really mean and have a good bot, wHaT iF tHeY wIn???" Very much a 'whenver Riptide's not on screen, all the other robots should be asking "Where's Riptide?"' situation. It got old very fast (read: instantly.)

Fight 4: Black Dragon

You want to talk about beloved teams, you have to mention Black Dragon. This Brazilian team is known for two things - their plush duck, which they won in a claw machine the first time they came to the US for a competition and have kept as a good luck charm ever since, and their durability - they had gone a near-record 24 matches without ever getting knocked out, winning all of those fights or losing by judge's decision. Leading up to this fight, Battlebots kept having segments showing how Black Dragon had almost surpassed Bite Force for the "most fights without a KO" streak (Bite Force was never KO'd in its entire 4-season career, going 26-1 with 1 lost JD.) Of course, then they had to fight Riptide.
This fight was probably the least controversial Riptide fight of the season - you can watch it here. Riptide went in and did not let up, unrelenting, leading to the Brazilian bot suffering their first ever KO in under a minute. Riptide was actually pretty chill in the post-fight interview, very respectful towards Black Dragon - I guess that ref warning stuck. For now. With that, Riptide advanced to 4-0 in the qualifiers, and ended up securing themselves the #2 overall seed (behind the undefeated Brazilian monster Minotaur, a favorite to win it all every season and the season 3 runner-up.)

Round of 32: Shatter

For those who don't know, Battlebots has a series of qualifying fights (this year, 4 fights per bot) to determine, out of the contenders (50 this year), which 32 get to compete in the tournament for the Giant Nut, and where they will be seeded. As the #2 seed, Riptide got to fight the #31 seed - hammer-bot Shatter, who you saw earlier helping Witch Doctor. Now, let me not mince words - Shatter was fucked. To paraphrase a comment I saw, "If Shatter drives like a god, gets the most perfect hammer shots ever, and in general is the best a hammer has ever looked in the history of hammers... they will still lose." There was no way Shatter could ever, ever win, barring some kind of catastrophic self-induced failure from Riptide. But damn it, Shatter captain Adam Wrigley was sure as hell going to try.
Now, for more info, the bots have rules that govern what you can do. There's a lot, but 2 are relevant - strict 250 lb weight limit, and the tip speed of a spinning weapon cannot exceed 250 mph. Bots are weighed before each fight to confirm the weight limit, and all bots with spinners have to do tip speed tests in the test box. After the weigh-in, you cannot modify or work on your bot in any way without the approval of production and safety. Not for anything. Maybe a sticker if you want.
So when a Shatter team member found Riptide working on their bot in the tunnel leading from the pits just before the fight, questions were had, and team Shatter demanded Riptide be reweighed and tip speed retested (there were rumors in the pits that they were spinning faster than 250mph.) The team later explained they were attaching a plastic hammer to the robot to mimic Shatter (teams doing funny decorative mods to their bot to mimic the other bot is a longstanding tradition.) All evidence seemed to point to that being the case, so nobody thinks they were lying about it, but it still warranted a reweigh. My opinion - that's fine, but tell production. If people think you're going to do something illegal, and you do something legal but in a way that looks illegal, don't be surprised when people think you're doing something illegal.
I will note that the show made a big deal out of how when Riptide was weighed before they were 'caught,' they weighed in at 250 lb, and the re-weighing said they were 248. There was some concern from Shatter about that, not helped by Stan Kurtz being kind of smug back to them. In response to one Shatter member asking "Why is it 248 now and 250 before?", Stan responded "You're right, there's something wrong. We made it lighter." Now, the thing with this is that there are multiple scales, they're not extremely precise, and if anyone has ever worked with industrial scales before you know how easily they come out of calibration. Some builders have said that whether or not the AC was on could add a pound of weight from the airflow. The "250lb" scale was not the same as the "248lb" scale as well. Generally, nobody really thinks there is something up with the weight, but working on the bot post-weigh-in absolutely warrants a reweigh, no matter who it is.
Riptide complained a lot about it, to the point where the word "whiney" comes to mind. You messed up, teams are meant to tell production before they add decorative stuff and you didn't, so you need to be reweighed. You've already pissed people off in the past so don't be surprised when they give you a bit more scrutiny. Take your lumps, apologize, act like adults, and maybe people will give you the benefit of the doubt next time. Instead, there was a lot of "oh boo is me, we're being discriminated against" - a direct quote from Ethan is "their paranoia is affecting our performance, I think it's really uncool that they did this." Granted, if the scale drifted the other way and they had to lose 2lb of armor to satisfy the arbitrary scale drift, I would get it more, but as it is they just look, well, whiney.
At this time, unbeknownst to anyone until they revealed it on a livestream, Team Whyachi (the team behind the powerful flipper Hydra, engine of (self-)destruction Fusion, and Comedy Central-era legend Son of Whyachi, who had the pit next to Riptide, was asked by production to put a spy camera up to make sure everything was above board. Allegedly they also began doing analysis of the audio and video of the actual fights, to make sure teams (read: one team) weren't cheating and spinning faster than the "maximum speed" they did in the test box.
However, aside from the (explainable, acceptable) scale drift, Riptide was not found to be cheating with tip speed or anything else. Shatter accepted this without complaint - they just wanted to be sure. So, that's out of the way. Ethan basically said "they are paranoid and are trying to ruin us so we will crush them" - fair enough, I suppose. Here's the fight (note: this video includes the entire 'weigh-in' drama before the fight if you want to watch it instead of just reading about it.) For what it's worth, Shatter lasted longer than anyone yet against Riptide - almost 2 minutes - but it went the way everyone expected. The most unexpected thing was in the post-fight, where Ethan basically said "Adam is a paranoid loser" (alongside, allegedly, some more personal insults that got cut), then went in for a "sporting" handshake. Unsurprisingly, Adam refused it.
Now, Adam is basically the "union rep" for the builders - he's the guy chosen (by the builders) to represent them when Battlebots is thinking about changing the rules. He is a very widely respected guy and is by all accounts very sporting and nice. So when you've pissed him off enough that he refuses the handshake (only the second refused handshake in modern Battlebots history, as far as I am aware), you know you fucked up. But either way, Riptide is on to the round of 16.

Round of 16: Hypershock

You saw Hypershock earlier. They're quite good - definitely a contender, though generally not going to be anyone's main pick to win it all. This year, they were the #18 seed after a rough set of qualifiers, fighting 2021 champs End Game, 2021 runner-up Whiplash, perennial contender SawBlaze, and the confusingly fast Claw Viper (seriously watch this, look how fast that boy is.) But after a solid win over #15 seed Lucky, they were on to the round of 16.
When I say Hypershock is a fan favorite, I mean they are the fan favorite - between their iconic style, aggressive driving, and captain Will Bales's humor and charisma, it's probably not wrong to say Hypershock is the most popular bot and team around. People love Hypershock, and people don't love Riptide, so this fight had a lot of "save us, O-Will Bales Kenobi, you're our only hope" energy with the community. Leading up to this, Will said in an interview that Riptide was good, but every team can't be good forever, and that someday Ethan will experience, in Will's words, a "humbling event."
But Hypershock wasn't the odds-on favorite here - Will Bales's flashy driving tends to lead to errors, and against something as nasty as Riptide, any error is death. The full fight isn't uploaded, but here's a clip of the post-fight highlight reel. Will started out doing a 'box rush' (charging straight at the other bot as soon as the fight starts), only to attempt to dodge to the side. Unfortunately, this led to him powersliding directly into Riptide's weapon, losing a wheel, and getting flipped over.
Now, the thing with vertical spinners in Battlebots is they spin 'up' - this means that the outer side goes up and the inner side goes down, so you can brace your own bot against the floor and send the other one flying. Now Hypershock is upside down, effectively spinning 'down,' so the energy from hits pushes the other bot down and themselves up. Riptide is spinning 'up' as normal. Both of these are extremely powerful weapons. Both want to send Hypershock into the air. So what happens when they collide? The energy of both weapons goes into sending Hypershock flying up over 25 feet and slamming into the ceiling of the Battlebox. Remember that that thing weighs 250 pounds. To quote Will in the post-fight interview, "nobody has ever been hit like that before." Much to the chagrin of Hydra captain Jake Ewert, who had the goal of being the first-ever bot to send another bot into the ceiling (and came within inches in their fight against Deathroll), Riptide made Battlebots history here.
The rest of the fight goes as expected at this point and Hypershock is KO'd, with Riptide moving into the quarterfinals. Sorry Will, you aren't the humbling event this time.

Quarterfinals: Copperhead

It's the final episode of the season - the quarterfinals, semifinals, and finals are all in one episode. People are spooked because Riptide is a incredible, powerful bot built and driven by shitty people, and nobody wants them to win but they might. But to go any further, they have to beat Copperhead.. This snake-themed bot is probably best known for getting a new captain almost every year, and this year it's Luke Quintal in charge for his first time. They just came off of an insanely dominant upset over 2021 champs End Game.
Luke has said that he was too focused on Copperhead to pay attention to the controversy, so he became aware of it when, leading up to this fight, builders kept coming up to him and whispering in his hear "dude, you have to beat Riptide. You have to beat them. You might be our last hope." He's just a first-year captain/driver, with the oldest bot in the competition (Copperhead has had the same two frames for its entire 4-year career - this is the longest any frame has competed in the history of modern Battlebots without replacement), who's had to have back-to-back fights against rookie of the year Ripperoni, 2018 Most Destructive winner ROTATOЯ, and End Game. No pressure.
Now, people have tried ways to beat Riptide. You can't just tank their hits with a durable bot (Black Dragon.) You can't outdrive them with fancy footwork (Hypershock.) But something nobody has been man insane enough to try is to go weapon-to-weapon on purpose to break Riptide's weapon. Copperhead just went weapon-to-weapon with End Game and broke theirs. Copperhead is durable enough to take those huge hits Riptide deals out. So their strategy is to just go berserk until something breaks. But there's one major plot twist left.
Remember how I said the Kurtzes are anti-vaxxers? Well, the pandemic is still going on. In order to get into the pits, you either had to be double-vaxxed or test negative every day. Well, there's no confirmation that Ethan was or was not vaxxed (but let's be real), but guess what? In the greatest Chekhov's gun in Battlebots history, he tested positive for COVID the day of the Copperhead fight. Riptide is out their driver for their biggest fight ever.
Other builders have confirmed that this was not the first or only time that team members had to miss days due to testing positive, but previous times either 1) did not involve the drivers, or 2) were in the qualifying rounds where fights could be postponed to following days. But neither was the case this time. Now, this is really a shitty situation for Riptide, and I do feel some degree of pity for them - what a thing to happen. But at the same time, lmao.
Riptide has to spend most of the day deciding who would drive the robot in the fight. The first person they ask? Jack Barker, driver of End Game and 2021 world champion. Jack agreed - can you blame him? Riptide is a hell of a bot, probably super fun to drive, and who knows, maybe he could win another Giant Nut. This got as far as Jack driving Riptide around the test box, before Luke found out and was like "hang on, no. He's not on your team. It's not fair that you can just go to the best driver in the pits and ask them to drive for you." Production agreed and hastily made a new rule where the driver has to be a member of the team. This all was not in the episode, and was only revealed by Luke Quintal after the season aired.
Team Riptide then deliberated between the several members of the team who might stand a chance. They eventually decide on team member Felix Jing, who's an award-winning Vex Robotics driver but has never driven a heavyweight before. Felix seemed to be a nice enough guy, and pretty humble. However, in the deliberations over who would drive, they lose time and are unable to replace their damaged weapon from the Hypershock fight.
So the fight. Riptide box rushes Copperhead, and the first weapon-to-weapon sends Copperhead flying. Luke's bot is still going, though, and goes in for another clash. This goes on for a few hits, until a massive hit sends Copperhead flying up and Riptide flying back - but when they come to, Copperhead's weapon is spinning... and Riptide's weapon is cracked down the middle, exactly what Copperhead was aiming for.
Copperhead does not let up and keeps hitting, eventually ripping about a quarter of Riptide's weapon off completely. However, the damage from the last 4 years of fighting added up. Those big hits from Riptide were the final straw - one of Copperhead's two wheels just falls off. Copperhead can still move, just about, on just one wheel, but suddenly this fight got a lot closer. They keep hitting Riptide, but it goes to the judges after the full 3 minutes.
It's a split decision. Battlebots is scored on an 11-point system - 5 points for damage, and 3 each for aggression and control.
All three judges gave Copperhead three damage points to Riptide's two and Riptide two control points to Copperhead's one.
The first judge scored aggression 2-1 for Copperhead. 6-5 Copperhead.
The second judge scored aggression 2-1 for Riptide. 6-5 Riptide.
The third judge scored aggression 2-1 for the winner...
Copperhead!
They did it, they saved the goddamn universe. We will not have to live in a world where the ur-anti-vaxxer and his dickhead kid win Battlebots. Everyone is fucking ecstatic. I cheered. The audience cheered. God probably cheered. And boy, did the pits cheer - some builders have said this was the biggest celebration in the pits they had ever seen. Tim Rackley of Monsoon (big lad with the flag) apparently was picking Luke up and carrying him around the pits cheering. Riptide is out.
It's a pity Ethan wasn't there to experience his 'humbling event' in person, but it happened. He was there on a video call on a tablet - apparently, production did ask him how he felt and he went on a 5-minute rant about how the team was being forced to face jealousy and adversity because they had to get reweighed. The entire rant was cut from the episode that aired. I've seen conflicting reports if he said "if I was there we would have won," but it would be in character if he did.
Team Riptide used their appeal (each team gets one) to ask the judges to re-review the fight - they did (absolutely fair - you have nothing to lose, anyone should appeal in this situation), and as though to rub it in even more, the sole judge who ruled for Riptide changed his mind about Riptide's aggression, giving Copperhead a unanimous JD. The saga of Riptide in WC7 ends here.

Aftermath

There was zero drama of any kind for the rest of the season (all 3 fights of it.) All the fights were great, clean fights between respected and respectful teams and robots. Copperhead ended up losing to HUGE in the semi-finals - no surprise or shame there, HUGE is designed to be invincible to bots like Copperhead. HUGE ended up facing the mighty SawBlaze in the finals, and in probably the best finals match in combat robotics history, SawBlaze managed to win a unanimous JD, giving SawBlaze captain Jamison Go the Giant Nut.
Literally zero people were unhappy with this - both Jamison and HUGE captain Jonathan Schultz are some of the nicest, most genuine, humble builders in the sport, and going into the finals it was very much a "no matter who wins we all win" kind of thing. Both bots are also "non-meta" - "meta" being the general form of bot that Hypershock, Riptide, Witch Doctor, Copperhead, etc. are, a compact vertical spinner - seasons 3-6 saw meta bots win both first place and runner-up, so people were excited to see a finals match with something new on both sides.
This was very recent, so no news if Riptide will be invited back next year. I would be shocked if they weren't, though - controversy sells, and regardless of how bad the team is, the robot is a killing machine that makes for incredible spectacles. There is allegedly a "sportsmanship rule" being added next year - it's a pity that something that has gone unspoken for decades has to codified in rules because of the actions of one team, but hopefully it will help. Between unethical sponsors, destroying fan favorite bots, being rude both inside and outside the box, cheating allegations, and a stunning lack of humility, Riptide really checked all the boxes in the 'bad guys' field this year.
I could say "the viewing community is willing to give Riptide one more chance to apologize and redeem themselves" but that would be a lie. For the most part, the subreddit, main Discord, etc. are all sick and tired of ever seeing the team again, and would love nothing more than for some cool, nice builder to hijack the bot so we can have cool robots and cool people. I don't know how the builders feel - I imagine that they're probably not quite as vehemently opposed to the team on average, but there's probably no love lost.
I enjoyed writing this up quite a lot, because it really was a classic "villain defeats the main good guys, but then the underdog comes out of nowhere and saves the day" story. Also Battlebots rules. Feel free to ask me anything about the show, or any bots, or if you want to see some cool bots that I didn't include. And seriously, watch Battlebots, it's so good. Check out /battlebots - it's the off-season, so the shitposts are about to get real good. I'm running out of characters so the collection of miscellaneous facts I originally had stuck on the end of this writeup is going to be in the comments.

Miscellaneous Videos
Death At Chuck E Cheese 70's Murder Files +18 Fsp19ut76yI
Five nights at freddys Are REAL! (it is real and true...) dZLuPFt7Egk
Does chuck e cheese know five nights at Freddy's z4Oe8oahJAs
THE TRUTH BEHIND Chuck E Cheese's and 5 Nights at Freddy's YLDwLWfzOUM
FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY'S 2 FULL GAME! GO BUY IT! KubBchX6v6c
Spongebob The Purge v3949UehZBM
David Near
Shadow Freddy Voice (Five Nights At Freddy's 2) I7mYQEMh3PY Partially Found
Phantom Balloon Boy Voice FNAF 3 kK1sHrvFkhM
FNAF 2 "Withered" Foxy Voice jFI16pEGqcw
Nightmare FredbeaShadow Freddy Original Voice WtVyammM9Ow
FNAF "Drawkill Bonnie" Original Voice 5QT-jOFmmLE
CreepsMcPasta
"Smile :)"- NoctisNeverSleeps
"1999: [Update] - 06/21/15" Creepypasta
"I know her so well..." Feelspasta
MrCreepyPasta
- 1999 (part 1)
-"1999" (part 4) MrCreepyPasta's Storytime
- 1999 (Part 5)
- 1999 (Part 6) (END)
Mr. Nightmare
-"Home Alone" [CreepyPasta] - nklZy3IwmhU
-"The Shadows Between Houses" By StupidDialUp - g2Az5BGGobY
- The Portraits - Creepypasta - KtsIB3dvfdc
- Last Friday - Creepypasta - qjEOQ8bWAc4
- “Chicken Bones” - by Steven Shorter - 5jwbaqI2Xqw
- Nuclear Meltdown - ocjHdXjlzss
-A Grain of Sand - fUtjSW65AFM
-"Christmas Tree Decorations" - Unknown Author - 9V0eVqXZcY8
-What happened to "Mr. Nightmare"? FOUND
-100,000 Subscribers - Thank You! - FbYIjdFFgOA
-Little Pink Backpack - Creepypasta - 1AgXuziegHs
-24 Creepy Discoveries People Just Stumbled Into
- 10 Most Disturbing TV Commercials - _Ap6N94LT98
Jessica Meszaros/SpectrumDiamond
-Creepypasta - Ed, Edd n Eddy (Lost Episode) okZRbCKJJwk
-Creepypasta - Bully: Scholarship Edition (Removed Mission) Fw9dpxgEogo
Creepypasta - The Golden Girls (Lost Episode) Z8vLHhOXwrQ
Creepypasta - Scooby Doo (Lost Episode) JexJSqVVoew
Children's Song - Kagome, Kagome _33Lsbn-9G4
Dilantra Peebles/Wolf Killer
Five nights at freddys Are REAL! (it is real and true...)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLuPFt7Egk
Five Nights at Freddy's 2 song backup part 3 and 4 (for TJ animations)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGI3His5vv8
If they knew.... your pain.... (Bullies)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2q3EUepHjc
"If they knew" The grey cat's pain (request)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFhAZi73WfI
Happy birth Day Zack (Present)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2fKx0SZnlE
Gambling man (Thank you for 19,000+ SUUUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WHEPcwApojs
GOLDEN BONNIE WANTS HIS EAR BACK (funny vine)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5HQ1SpFxSs
Open Up animation *Really sad* FNAFS (THANK YOU FOR 20,000+ SUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baGwKL2I49E
questions and answers (part 3) *best ending lol*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb9XtMGjBrY
Awoken oc Map Part 34 and 35 (MoonrisePaintpawz)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmvmCyWMioM
Awoken OC Map Part 25 (Ren jirra)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLkmLQm8ozo
Welcome To Freddy's Map Part 7 (TJ Animations)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwCj86U1Quc
Welcome To Freddy's Map Part 22 (TJ Animations)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HlNX-LCKpAQ
Mangle The Stalker *she knows all, foxy* (THANK YOU FOR 21,000+ SUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56sC0qYQniw
How foxy likes to run to the office (funny vine)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AdZfNJTyuU
Jar of Hearts Warriors Map Part 5 and 6 (LilypadLils)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN\_uE6r1hvg
We Are Family Fnafs 1 and 2 (speedpaint)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OdVdjzureVQ
F-freddy.... fazbear? (Five nights at freddys!!!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjJFBGV8Puw
Update (read the description)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJFwBgcgHiE
Just Gold Animation The madness (THANK YOU FOR 23,000+ SUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kseBEnpwMY
HAPPY BIRTH DAY RENEE : D (best friend. Video, Monster)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIa9G-Ou9A0
Youth Oc Map Part 9 (kaybzjess)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30ydpsgpids
This Is For My People Who Lost Somebody (Your not alone)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUWz54xSc8o
*Collabs* Five nights at freddys 3 (THANK YOU FOR 24,000+ SUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g9vHsc\_PxQ
All Men Are Pigs OC Map Part 2 (Makbrok mtizzle)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6aGi1FsCoyQ
Contest OPEN (my Contest)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FC4fxeConFY
ILL KNOCK YOU BACK INTO YOUR BABY HOOD, FOXY! (Funny vine)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Nt3KRdEyic
Have a Snicker Foxy, your never yourself when your hungry (FNAFS 1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG8wE4lvFgw
How Toy Chica Changes Her Mood At Certain Times (FNAFS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1nPoXlF4EHs
livesteaming (Thank you for 25,000+ subs)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szSagrq24vc
Reading Mean Comments (only 2, random video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDNDprMsP3A
Contest Winners (Top 10)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJOEzbnFXwM
Secrets *Animation* (THANK YOU FOR 26,000+ SUBS!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUyhznRwAe8
The Show Must Go On (Map part 6, HTF OC AMBER)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O-CpafYQ9s
Five Nights At Freddy's Song Map Part 3 (Pastel Cat)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IKYGHHZcwk
ooh whats this? (My Birth Day is Coming up)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYMyKY9HNdc
Lullabye-bye *collabs* (HTF OC AMBER, So he sang)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PILKKiUOkoI
Lullaby-bye Collab *Complete* (So he sang)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMX898twSpc
Thank you for 27000 subs!! (Purple guy is a murder)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEzwwuDthYg
i Am The Purple guy! Map Part 9 (Ring Ring)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ3q11GD3QU
i Am The Purple Guy! Map Part 22 and 23 (Ring ring)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29k5FwwwD1A
Do you care About me? (Depression)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2US6ENagoE
i Am The Purple Guy! Map part 25 (Ring ring)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzBCoNzeu2Y
I Am Purple Guy Map Part 27 (Ring Ring)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdI666C4dkc
PLEASE GO SUPPORT HER!! (my best friend)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WhgzEJM8oQ
How Do You Feel About That Cone On Your Head, Foxy? (THANK U FOR 28,000+ SUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-cmCJnbkOo
The request of Finding Jeff the killer (ThumbNail)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQGpzfKTyBw
Its Time To Die Map Part 25 (insanedvo)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M418ZrgyBvk
Happy Birth Day To Meee (yay)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTFb80Zzm\_0
Balloons Sad Animation *The good ending* FNAFS (THANK YOU FOR 29.000+ SUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcHabDLQBDc
Toy bonnie (Random, creepy)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91BQZ3l9Trw
Security guard comics (My comics) *FNAFS Security guards*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENZsn3SxC7c
Horn battle *Foxy VS Purple guy* (Funny vine, HAPPY EASTER)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXwnofOcXbw
The Bite of 87 *A sad tale* (THANK YOU FOR 30.000+ SUBS!!!!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDqHFVZR7P4
Animation thief(s) (Please Read description)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zM1H9caaU4M
Look At Me Now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKinOD7lAdQ
Am I The Only One Who Does This.... (THANK YOU FOR 31,000+ SUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1oso\_BZvLU
Mangles Radio static (Happy birthday Mangle brinton)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynTT3KkYv14
Purple guy's Death (Animated *Realistic sound*)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcffIEx5d8U
eeeeeeey mario :D *SpringTrap and Marionette* (Thank you for 32,000+ SUBS)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oe-0\_oRnPM
Best Hater Ever.... (Really bad hater *Warning, mad wolf* )
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oy86\_\_nbcaI
More Hate (Responded badly XD)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxrMOxPjgnU
Talk Foxy To Me (Five nights at freddys)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxJ4QYlD1DU
i'm leaving (haters)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztvjz7Ipra4
Guess Who's Back?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYH-ZexPo\_g
Five Nights At Freddys Harlem Shake (33,000+ specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afiAExQ733c
Wolf's Intro (34,000+ specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6IRaGmLxqVk
Go Save Smilk *Need your support* (35,000 specials/ Update)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXRojk8peZ8
Little Things About you (36,000+ Specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2TRVATqv40
Look How Wolf Died XD (Funny vine)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CaBSHJdgzTE
Eeey Look how Chica Died XXD (Funny vine)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-8pQ067Gps
Flesh Five nights at freddys *Map Part 8 and 9* (makbrok mtizzle)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73cI\_Hq-Asc
When your home all alone and someone knocks at your door (38,000 specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bex3PLIxMss
My Reaction To Roaches (Funny)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSsOmPhJBuo
Sausage *Map Part 10 and 11* (JordanTheBlueAnimatr­onicDevil)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXE9O3kZs2c
Sausage! OC Map *OPEN*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4SvedTPJrw
i Have A Deviant Art ya know? (Random)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_hnUB\_KfmWQ
Daddy Whats A Twerk? (39,000 Specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4qGz4oNsPo
If You Want A Burger.... (40,000 Specials!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qdZrsYGak0
Omega Always Loves Arrow (Funny video)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Fi7VfDPcD8
Orphan Tears *Short* Cray AVM~ (41,000 Specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v80JUT\_W7xQ
I Can Animate~ (Review)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erSsxrqnwcM
Throw Tha CHEESE (42,000 Specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IaHthKD9Mxs
Sad Suicide Song *animated* (Depression)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isXEscJwCtQ
1... 2. Crays is Coming For You (43,000 specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=livek7MHOY8
Renees got a sick obsession (MEME)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uUwJpzbXYc
Die In A Fire *Animation* (48,000 specials)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKyjx2a4B7M
KingSpook
*"The Sandman" (Creepypasta)
*"Be Careful Whose Messes You Clean Up" (Creepypasta)
*"Mrs. Willison's Homemade Jam" (Creepypasta)
*Recluse
*Corey's Wish
*The New Fish
*Why i was Released from Prison
*Mickey's House of Pain
*I Was a Freelance Exorcist
*The Contract
*Starving Dogs
*Living in Hell
*The Girl in the Crowd
*The Shredder Monkey
*Videohead
*"Broodmother" (Creepypasta) Ft. EerieCheshir
*The Other Internet
*"Black Number One" (Creepypasta)
*The Pit
*Slaying the Beast (something like that, about someone killing their dad)
*At Least You Tried
*Some story about a guy named Greg who's wife hired a psycho to kill him for cheating on him (don't remember the name)
*One More For the Orphan
*Some story about a haunted TV broadcast (don't recall the name, "The Ozark Cable Incident" it may have been)
*The Pleasure House
*The Quiet Room
*Pain Study (something like that)
*My Parents were Satanists (something like that)
*Mr. Banana
*The Dog Man
*Mayhem Mountain
*The Pancake Family
"The Yellow Wallpaper" (Creepypasta) M3vEPbJ9V2Q
"The Ozark Cable Incident" (Creepypasta) pclUTiUDVLc

SomeOrdinaryGamers

LOST EPISODES - "Plankton Got Served" zBhEQ9uU59s
"'Arther: Lost Episode' (SH*TPASTAS)"
"Red Moon"

Catch the full episode: https://www.wealthformula.com/podcast/372-what-you-need-to-know-about-ai/
Buck: Welcome back to the show, everyone, today. My guest on Wealth Formula podcast is Shashank Shekhar, founder of Insta Mortgage. After starting his business in possibly the worst year for financial markets. 28, Shashank has led the company to be one of the fastest growing mortgage companies in America, helping thousands of families secure better financing for their homes in 2017 and 2021. InstaMortgage, which is formerly known as Arcus Lending, was named to the INC 500 list of the fastest growing private companies in America. Shashank, welcome to the program.
Shashank: Thank you for having me, Brooke.
Buck: So, you know, first of all, tell us a little bit about your company in that. And, you know, like I think one of the things I really want to get into is the technology aspect. But tell us a little bit about your company and what makes it different.
Shashank: Yeah, so it's two mortgages really founded on the tech first approach to mortgage lending, as we know is one of the industries that has kind of remained archaic in terms of just providing the consumer experience, how the process works, and some of it is regulatory meeting. As a lender, we can make any make any changes. The government asks us to originate alone and in a certain way there is not much you can do about it.
I'll give you an example. We created the record for fastest from an application to be ready for close in 6 hours, six and a half hours in the industry. But see, APB requires us not to close a loan for seven days after we take the application. So that's. That's what I'm saying. And some of the things that we are doing, we are kind of hampered by what the what the regulation brings. But other than that really is the mortgage approach is towards speed, towards making it more streamlined, user friendly. And we do that by a lot of technology implementation that we have done. Some of it grown in-house at instrument and some of it that we've used our partners to build.
Buck: One of the things that I understand that you guys are using a lot of is some of this artificial intelligence. Let's let's start with something basic, I think. But this is not necessarily a technology group, but, you know, maybe you want to start with like sort of the concept of what Shashi Petit is and, you know, kind of take take it from there and explain how some of this might apply to your business.
Shashank: Yeah. And anyway, I'll probably back up even a little bit more and just just explain artificial intelligence. I know the audience is pretty smart, but one of the things that we see all the time and it's this not just in the mortgage industry is is that a lot of it being is what we are hearing, especially people ask two or three years is that this is a driven we it everything seems to have the word A.I. in it. It's like crypto or blockchain from a couple of years.
Buck: Yeah, I guess 100% right. And yeah.
Shashank: One thing I wanted to explain to the audience is that not everything is the AI, and just because they say it's to write artificial intelligence essentially is is the is when machine is able to do some things that humans do, they're able to recognize speech, they're able to make decisions like humans do when something is programed to do something that's just advanced programing, like if I had a chat bot and I programed it with every possible question that would ask when Buck would come to my website, that's not artificial intelligence. Me look smart. Oh, I'm asking you, do I need a mortgage? And it knows the answer. I want to can be connected to a loan officer and it knows the answer, but it hasn't been programed to do that, that we preempt the questions that you might possibly ask, given our experience that when users come to the Web site and ask these questions, that's not artificial, since artificial intelligence is usually a huge amount of computing capacity, that's required for a machine to learn by itself, even something as basic as if a machine were to recognize if this picture is of a cat or not, that will require it to be fed hundreds and thousands of photographs of cat for it to figure out a pattern saying this is how cats look. And on the other side also fed hundreds and thousands of pictures that may look like a cat, but it's not a cat. Might be a baby lion or a baby tiger that has paws and whiskers and small, but they are not cats. And and then it's able to figure it out through machine learning, through through hundreds of attrition. That's not a cat. So that's artificial intelligence. And I just wanted to throw that out as because search terms, we are like, oh, this is artificial intelligence or it's AI driven, but it's not always the idea.
Buck: Yeah. So really, I think like when I think of it, I maybe, you know, just for clarity, maybe you can correct me if I'm wrong, but it's really like a learning system, right? It's, it's, it's not just preprogramed information. It is literally sort of learning on the go. So it's, you know, it's going to take information that comes in. It's going to take questions that come in. It's going to learn from those things and potentially create more efficiencies because it can start, quote unquote, thinking rather than simply spitting out preprogramed information.
Shashank: Absolutely. And that's why and that's where I think GPT comes into us, as you asked us, that it's a job to please is a truly AI model. And what's revolutionary about it is really so far practically all artificial intelligence that I've seen before. Chad GPD has been about solving a specialized problem. So it could be about how to become a better writer. So it could do copywriting for you or to become better marketer, or you're solving one problem or the other. And that's why artificial intelligence was mostly being deployed, charging beauty for the first time at a very mass level really brings a generating by origin by meaning it didn't plan sort of it at least aims to solve for hundreds and thousands of problems and not just one last I checked. So in the real estate industry, AI and chatbots like ChatGPT are having a significant impact. One area where they are being utilized is in customer service and support. Chatbots can handle customer inquiries, provide information about properties, and even assist with the mortgage application process. They can answer commonly asked questions and provide a more streamlined and efficient experience for potential homebuyers.
Additionally, AI is being used in data analysis and predictive modeling. By analyzing vast amounts of real estate data, AI algorithms can identify trends, patterns, and insights that can help real estate professionals make more informed decisions. This can include predicting property values, identifying investment opportunities, and assessing market conditions.
Furthermore, AI-powered virtual assistants are becoming more prevalent in the real estate industry. These assistants can help automate tasks such as scheduling property tours, sending notifications to clients, and even providing personalized property recommendations based on the client's preferences and requirements.
Overall, AI and chatbots are revolutionizing the real estate industry by improving customer experiences, enabling data-driven decision-making, and automating various aspects of the real estate process.
Buck: It's fascinating. So in your business, you mentioned that AI is streamlining the underwriting process for instant mortgages. Can you elaborate on what aspects of the underwriting process AI is helping with to reduce the timeline from 45 days to just a week?
Shashank: Absolutely. One of the things AI can do is bring efficiencies to the table. For instance, loan guidelines in the mortgage industry are extensive, similar to the complexity of the IRS tax code. It can take a significant amount of time for underwriters to sift through hundreds of pages of program guidelines to find specific information related to unique borrower situations. AI can analyze the guidelines and identify the relevant sections more efficiently. It can also pinpoint bottlenecks in the process, allowing for improvements to be made.
Furthermore, AI can assist in automating tasks and providing quick access to information. For example, I recently experimented with a Facebook language model that can be installed on a local device. By uploading relevant documents, such as research papers or industry-specific information, you can create your own repository of knowledge. You can then ask questions and receive answers based on that information, streamlining the information retrieval process.
Buck: That's interesting. It reminds me of the open-source nature of blockchain technology. Do you see any similarities between AI and blockchain in terms of their potential and openness?
Shashank: There are some similarities, but they also have distinct differences. Blockchain technology has generated a lot of excitement in the past, and it's still relevant. However, it has been closely associated with cryptocurrencies, which have faced some challenges. This has caused some people to shy away from blockchain.
But blockchain technology has applications beyond cryptocurrencies. For example, in the real estate industry, it could revolutionize the process of title transfer. Instead of going through county courts, titles could be securely held on a blockchain, and smart contracts could automate the transfer process upon receipt of payment.
While blockchain may have lost some favor recently, it doesn't mean it has lost relevance. It's just not receiving as much attention and investment at the moment. However, both AI and blockchain have the potential to transform industries and improve efficiency in different ways.
Buck: I guess the comparison I was trying to make is less about comparing them as the same type of thing, but more about looking at it as an open-source opportunity for people to develop.
Shashank: The interest in it is huge. By the way, if anyone wants to test it, go to GPGforall.io. Even if you have zero programming skills, you can hire someone on Upwork. I'm not a programmer, and I got someone to do it for me. It took him less than 30 minutes. The instructions are step by step, so even if you can't do it, someone else can.
Buck: Let me write it down: GPT4all.
Shashank: Yes, "for" is the number 4.
Buck: Okay, dot IO. Fascinating. Let's see what I can come up with.
Shashank: Very cool. So yeah, let's talk a little bit about your business too. You guys are obviously doing really well. To be honest, I'd never heard of Instant Mortgage. Is this available in all states?
Shashank: We are in 28 states, so not all states yet. But those 28 states account for about 70-75% of all mortgages in the US.
Buck: Mostly in California, right?
Shashank: Yes, I'm here in Silicon Valley.
Buck: Right, got it. So, how does the process with Instant Mortgage compare to other mortgage companies?
Shashank: If you go to InstantMortgage.com, you will see that our entire smart application process is way more advanced than most of the industry. We start underwriting the moment you start entering the application. By the time you finish the application in your own borrower's portal, you will already start seeing the documents we need and the signatures required. The loan is almost half underwritten by that point, which is probably the fastest you will see in the industry. We also have a user-friendly borrower's portal that provides transparency on your loan's progress. We have 100% transparency on where your loan is and what's required from your end. You see all the loan dynamics at that point in time. The entire user experience is very advanced. We still have expert loan officers and processors in the back end, so it's not just a technology solution. You get expert advice as well.
Buck: Is it easy to get pre-approvals with Instant Mortgage?
Shashank: We have something called a prequel where you don't have to go through the entire process. In 90 seconds, you give us some basic information, and we run a soft check on your credit. It does not impact your credit score. Then we run the entire guideline underwriting engine and give you a prequel letter, which is the fastest in the industry. If you just want to understand how much you qualify for and you're not ready to make an offer, you don't even have to reach out to us.
Buck: So primarily residential, including jumbos and all that. Any limitations on the residential side?
Shashank: We also do commercial loans, but the process and user experience would be very different and take longer.
Buck: That is fascinating. One last question for you. Who is Rachel and how did you create her?
Shashank: Rachel is the mortgage industry's voice-first digital human. We started with websites, then moved to chatbots, and now digital humans are the next evolution. Rachel is more advanced than Siri and Alexa because she has a face. You can interact with her through speech, video, or text. You can ask for jokes or talk about non-mortgage-related topics. We just launched her with Jeopardy, so she can answer Jeopardy questions too. It's a pretty advanced concept in terms of user experience.
Buck: So the business is Instant Mortgage at instantmortgage.com. This is really fascinating stuff, Shashank. I appreciate you being on the Well Formula podcast today.
Shashank: Sure, glad to be here.
Buck: We'll be right back.

A short history of my journey through madness:
A combination of hard drugs that I was abusing or coming off of along with a stressful, difficult time in my life led to a full psychotic episode which gradually escalated over a month through a string of conspiracies each more complex and grander than the last, until finally I believed that everyone I knew had come together to drive me out of town-to get rid of me by any means necessary, including: blackmail, threatening my family, framing me for crimes, driving me insane, tricking me to act in some way which would get me arrested or committed, pushing me to commit suicide or just killing me and staging it as a suicide. There were constantly watching and listening to me presumably using cameras and microphones.
The whole time I knew I was hallucinating but also thought that some unknown number of people around me were taking advantage of the fact I was hallucinating as a cover to mess with me and get rid of me. So I'd hear voices say that it was obvious they were just talking about me in the next room, i wasn't hallucinating, i was just too cowardly to confront them. But then they'd laugh and tell me that if I did confront them they would just act oblivious and I would come off as crazy. And they were right. Whether they're real or hallucinations I knew that as long as they just acted confused and oblivious no matter how real it sounded I would assume I was just losing my mind. So i was in a kind of battle of wits (mostly between me and myself) to distinguish the real from the imaginary. At least that was the starting point... it got far more complex and strange from there. There were points where I thought that I might be psychic, that I was communicating with the dead, or that some kind of trickster demon might be messing with me. ( this was especially surprising to me as prior to this I had no beliefs in anything religious, spiritual or supernatural).
None of the medications they gave me in the psych ward helped at all but it did give me time to rest and think. Eventually I discovered I had some control over the voices. I could pick a kind of voice, a location and a phrase and create the effect of hearing it as if it was real with complete accuracy and consistency. It was like a weird parlor trick that only I could enjoy. But this was incredibly helpful in convincing myself that it was all coming from inside my head. I was able to use that, along with my natural skepticism to essentially just reason my way out of the psychosis. After that I would never be fully taken in or deluded by the hallucinations again but I did still continue to hallucinate for 3 years and had to figure out coping methods and ways to navigate life despite this.
I found i had to ignore all voices unless I could literally see your lips moving. This meant someone could be standing 6 feet behind me and yell my name and I would completely ignore them . What they didn't know is that if I responded to them, then I would also be responding countless times throughout the day to people who weren't actually there. I also had to forcibly ignore any thoughts that anyone around me was trying to take advantage of me, deceive me, or mistreat me in order to avoid the trappings of paranoia. Unfortunately this isn't the reality of the world we live in so I ended up getting taken advantage of, lied to and abused quite a lot by the unscrupulous souls who picked up on this. Even though I could tell it was happening at the time I knew if I entertained those thoughts at all it could snowball back into full psychosis, so it was a necessary sacrifice.
Fun Facts: not only could I recreate the sound of voices through my thoughts I could also create The sound of music. I could think of an instrument and a melody and I would hear it perfectly and after focusing my thoughts on it for a short time I could then stop thinking about it, yet i'd continue to hear it play as a Loop. I could then add another instrument and melody on top of that using the same process. I could get up to four tracks but never more and for some reason my thoughts weren't able to recreate any kind of percussion, just Melody. I spent countless hours doing this and it's the only part of it I kind of miss. Actually there was one other thing i grew to enjoy: always carrying a conversation partner around with you in your head. No matter how much I could tell myself that the voices were my own thoughts, it's impossible for me to express how absolutely and thoroughly it seemed as if they were coming from outside, completely separate from my own mind. I'd have friendly debates with the voices where they would bring up ideas I'd never thought of before, but which were interesting ideas, that sometimes made me see things differently, or give me information that I didn't know I knew, but turned out to be correct. The power and depth of the unconscious mind is unbelievable. For some reason what always blew me away the most is when they'd tell me jokes I'd never heard of but we're actually pretty funny.

🎶 You hear the screeching of an own, you feel the wind about to howl, you know the wolves are on the prowl. And it's terror time again! She's got you running through the night. It's terror time again, and you might just die of fright, its a terrifying time.
🎶 You hear the beating of your heart, you know the screaming gonna start!, here comes the really scary part! And it's terror time again, she has you running through the night! It's terror time again, and you might just die of fright, it's a terrifying time!
🎶 All the creatures grunt and groan, all the tree begin to moan, rotting faces full of slime, don't you know it nightmare time?!
🎶and it's terror time again! Nightmare Moon has you running through the night! It's nightmare time again, and you might just die of fright, it's a terrifying time.
Based on Scooby Doo "It's Terror Time" only I rearranged a few words.

Alright so before I get deep into character there's some background I need to give in this "episode" so that y'all have the info you'll need for the other "episodes." Basically, all of them will start like this one, and then I will tell the stories in first person. This will either be really boring or pretty neat, so let's find out together! Also, I used a different name for every game, until Scarlet and Legends Arceus, where I started consistently using Timtanoboa. A few of the names I use are really dumb. Also, these will be in the order I played them (Sh, Sw, LGE, Sc, LA) and I have (unfortunately) never been able to play a Pokémon game not on the Switch. Alright, now to the less boring stuff.
Region: Galar
Name: TJH
Date of Obtaining Game: December 25th, 2019
Part 1: The Gym Challenge
In the Galar region, in a small town called Postwick, I started my Pokémon journey with Scorcher the Scorbunny. On Route 1, I caught Flynn the Nickit and Dr. Insector the Blipbug. Then on Route 2, I caught Little Turtle (this name is over the character limit but I don't remember how exactly I got around that so I'll be referring to her as Little Turtle the whole time) the Chewtle and Mr. Karp the Magikarp. Heading into the Wild Area, I caught Jackie Chan the Tyrogue (who would not actually receive his name until he evolved into Hitmonchan). Then, onto Route 3, where I caught Flame Bug the Sizzlipede. In the first Galar Mine, I caught Diggy Piggy the Diglet, which turned out to be one of the best decisions I made the entire game for a reason you'll see later. Route 4 is the first location where I didn't get a new Pokémon (that I named).
On to fight Milo, where I Dynamaxed Scorcher on Turn 1 and used a strategy that worked here and nowhere else: Max Flare, Max Flare, Max Flare. If memory serves, Scorcher and Dr. Insector evolved after this battle.
On the Bridge, after kicking He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named's rear, I caught Granny the Eldegoss. On to Hulbury!
Against Nessa, I used Granny and Dynamaxed Turn 1. I promise this is the last time I did this. But Max Overgrowth x3 worked here. Soon these battles get more interesting.
Through Galar Mine No. 2, I caught nothing. But in the Motostoke Outskirts, I caught Tox Hat the Koffing. Finally, I fought Kabu.
Here, I discovered that Dynamaxing Little Turtle and using Max Geyser three times wasn't going to work. So I had to train a bit. I don't remember the exact strategy I used, but I know that I got it on my second try, likely with help from Diggy Piggy. This marked the only time I struggled with Kabu.
In the Wild Area, I trained up many of my Pokémon, with Jackie Chan evolving into Hitmonchan. I know some other stuff happened, but I don't remember this playthrough well because it was a chaotic mess. Into and out of Hammerlocke in two shakes of a Wooloo's tail, and on to Route 6, where nothing happened. Time to fight Shy Guy Allister!
I remember nothing of this fight, other than that I completed it first try.
Before heading into the Glimwood Tangle, I sent many of my Pokémon on Poké Jobs, putting together a secondary team. If memory serves, this team included Mr. Karp, Tox Hat, Flynn, Diggy Piggy, and two other mons that I have forgotten about. Sad. This is where all of these mons evolved into their final forms, which I only remember because I sat through like three minutes of evolutions before challenging Opal.
The only information I remember about the Opal fight is that I failed the first two times because I didn't get the quiz questions right and every time included Tox Hat vs. her Weezing at some point. Badge 5, scored!
This next bit is where I started getting some real momentum before immediately dropping it. On Route 8, I caught Lots of Guys the Falinks.
Against Melony, I used Lots of Guys as my Ace, though I did get some great use of of Scorcher, who was now a Cinderace. At this point, assume all of my Pokémon are fully evolved unless I state otherwise.
Onto Route 9, where I got the funny water bike and Kar-Oct-E the Grapploct, who proved quite useful against Piers, who's fight went something along the lines of:
Kar-Oct-E used Close Combat. It's Super Effective!
Time to go back to Hammerlocke, where me catching Diggy Piggy comes back to be one of the best choices I made during this playthrough.
Against Raihan, I had a full team of six, including Diggy Piggy. I lost Scorcher after he Dynamaxed but was hit by Duraludon's Max Rockfall. So now, it was just Diggy Piggy vs. Duraludon. Diggy Piggy was at low health, and I only had one option: Fissure. And it worked! Heck yeah!
Then I lost all of this momentum and go hang out in the Wild Area for over a MONTH! I started progressing again when I went to a friend's house and he persuaded me to finish. He also helped by trading me Dreameater the Gengar. So I went to Wyndon, and caught nothing on the way. None of these battles are interesting. I won all of them first try and used nothing but brute force for them.
Part 2: The Past Game
Same goes for the post game. Onto the DLC!
Part 3: The Isle of Armor
I decided to reset my team and use new Pokémon for this. My "starter" was Sister, the Slowbro. Other team members include Mimikree the Zoroark, Armory the Urshifu, and No. 1 the Klefki, who was only named as such and only even mentioned because it was my first encounter on the Isle, after I closed my eyes and ran around until I bumped into something. There was also Titan the Wailord. Finally, there was Bulby the Venusaur. The Isle of Armor plot already isn't particularly anything, so nothing interesting happened. Maybe we should wait a few months for the next DLC...
Part 4: The Crown Tundra
Team Reset! Queen the Slowking was my "starter," and I used Pteranodon the Aerodactyl, Dinosawr the Tyrantrum, and other mons that I honestly don't care enough to look through the encounter rates of every CT area for. Legendaries caught, I began to do the Max Lair in hopes of finally having a challenge. This was where I caught two of my only three shinies on this file: Nimbus the Altaria and Cosmo the Starmie.
​
Alright that's all you can go home now.
Also no idea what to flair this as so... media?

My Brony Archive Youtube Channel

NOTE: This channel is not monetized and never will be.
Welcome to my archive project! Here I am re-uploading a variety of videos related to My Little Pony and the Brony fandom that are no longer on Youtube. Thanks to the people at Pony Archive and Archive.org for preserving all of these videos, I found the vast majority of these videos from those two places. Without those people, most of this content would be long lost.
Below is information and playlist links to all the content I have already re-uploaded. All of these playlists can also be found on my channel page. If any of you have personal copies or links to any missing videos from the below channels that are not on my channel, please let me know! There is almost certainly content from these people I am still missing! And if you have any recommendations for videos you want me to find archives of, please let me know that as well! If you have any personal archives of videos you would like to send me to re-upload, send them to my Google drive. My Gmail is [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Wubcake: All the videos I could find from Wubcake's old channel. Featured a variety of creative content mainly related to My Little Pony and Equestria Girls. Videos include comic dubs, fanfic readings, animatics, song covers/parodies, fun Skype calls with voice actors messing around, and a bunch of dubs and parodies.
Sawtooth Waves: All of the videos I could find from Sawtooth Waves' channel. Features a lot of MLP analysis content plus some music stuff, and a few meme videos.
Miscellaneous Creative Content: This playlist group consists of character dubs and songs from Alioopster and Kira Buckland (aka Rina-Chan), and comedic parodies and pmvs from HeavyWeaponsBaby, BronyVids, & Weegy. Other playlists here include pmvs from old deleted pmv channels, a few random comedy videos, a couple missing Silly Filly Studios animations, 4 missing comic readings by Pitch & Magpie Productions, a few missing songs from BluNoseReindeer, and a covedub of the MLP Japanese opening by Awkward Marina.
Mysterious Mr. Enter, Digibrony, & BronyCurious: The playlist "Mysterious Mr. Enter Missing Videos" includes every other deleted, privatized, unlisted, or copyright blocked Mr. Enter video I could find, some of which are deleted reviews relating to MLP. I also have all of his MLP content put together in the playlist "Mysterious Mr. Enter MLP Reviews"
As for Digibro, her MLP content mainly consisted of reviews/analysis, along with some random comedic and podcast stuff. The playlist "Digibrony's MLP Era" consists of every video that I have found that Digi made during from December 2012 to May 2014, plus the occasional MLP video she made later on thrown in at the bottom of the playlist. The playlist "Digibrony's MLP Reviews" consists of her scripted MLP reviews only. Also, both playlist descriptions includes links to text blogs Digi wrote about MLP episodes, most of which had video versions that are lost and I have been unable to find. If there is any MLP related content from her I have missed, please let me know.
As for BronyCurious, the playlist "Tommy Oliver 3D (BronyCurious) Deleted/Unlisted Videos" contains every unlisted/privated video I could find from TommyOliver3D/BronyCurious. And the playlist "BronyCurious MLP Reviews" contains only the MLP reviews he made. Sadly, a lot of Tommy Oliver's old MLP content appears to be lost. It is also very much possible that there are some Wayback archives for videos that I missed, considering that it was hard to find links. So, if any of you have links or personal copies to any videos I am missing from him, please let me know.
Miscellaneous Review Content: This playlist group consists of some reviews related to MLP by TheoryBrony, LethalAuroraMage, Clover Keen, and Quilled Inc. It also includes some deleted Pieguyrulz videos, including a MLP related discussion video he did plus some deleted episodes of his Re-Cast podcast (although those aren’t MLP related). There is also a playlist for missing Schaffrillas Productions videos, including his Blue Sky Studios ranking that was recently copyright blocked.
Old Saberspark Videos: Every Deleted Saberspark video I could find, mainly funny comedy skits relating to MLP and bronies! He also made monthly “Top 10 Pony Videos” and “Top 10 Pony Songs” during 2012, so good fandom time capsule!
Old PaleoSteno Videos: Every deleted/private video I could find from PaleoSteno (both his old and current channels)! Mostly consisting of reviews, discussions, and convention panels, and some “Top 10 Pony Songs" during 2013, so another good fandom time capsule!
"Brony Breakdown" with Saberspark & PaleoSteno Podcast (Everfree Network): "Brony Breakdown is a livestream show hosted by Saberspark and Paleo. Each week, we will cover and discuss topics that have occurred throughout the previous week. From the comings and goings of voice actors to major events in the fandom, we strive to keep you updated on what is going on the Brony community. Along with that, we will showcase our personal picks of fan content from the past week. Sometimes it is a silly video, other times it is a beautiful piece of music! The possibilities are endless and that is half the fun of digging through content in the fandom! So tune in for your weekly dose of news and fan creations from the world of Bronies!"
EmuEmi's "Pegasisters Live" Podcast (Everfree Network): "A live stream show that is hosted by EmuEmi & Sondra W.! Weekly we bring news from the show and fandom, interviews and the occasional charity auction or giveaway, all from a girl's perspective!"
I highly recommend the Brony Breakdown & Pegasisters Live podcasts in particular if you are nostalgic for 2012-2013 brony stuff. They both had very entertaining hosts, reacted to a bunch of news and fandom content from the time, and had several great guests, including Grey DeLisle (voice of Daphne of Scooby Doo and many others), M.A. Larson (MLP writer), Cathy Weseluck (voice of Spike from MLP), Brenda Crichlow (voice of Zecora from MLP), SoGreatandPowerful, Nowacking, ACRacebest, BlackGryph0n, Living Tombstone, PinkiePieSwear, and others). Due to all of this, these podcasts are fantastic time capsules for the golden age of the brony fandom.
"Post My Video" with JHaller & BVids Podcast (Everfree Network): "A show where we talk about the animations, PMVs and parodies produced by the MLP community as well as talk to their creators, post tutorials and more!" - Great time capsule when it comes to all of the old fandom creative content since this show dives deep into that side of the fandom.
Radiant Eclipse Podcast (Everfree Network): "Radiant Eclipse is a modular, segment-based talkshow produced by The Vanacus Blog exclusively for EverFree Radio. Every week features a special guest. Some of them are well known by our community, as well as many other talented Bronies you never knew existed! Our program offers relevant news and comical trivia. When you tune in, you'll be just as entertained as you are informed. We select the most interesting topics so you don't have to!"
Reading Rainboom (Everfree Network): "Reading Rainboom is a bi-weekly show dedicated to producing high quality readings of Friendship is Magic fan fiction. Featuring a large cast of experienced voice actors to provide voices for the characters in addition to the usual narrator, the show aims to provide you with a more immersive and varied reading, more akin to a radio play than an audio book."
Other Everfree Network Content: Some other Everfree Network shows are mostly still public, but there were a few missing episodes I managed to find, so I uploaded those. I made playlists combining the still public content with my re-uploads. This playlist group includes all of the Everfree Network podcasts/shows listed above plus these additional ones, which are Equestria Inquirer, DustyKatt's Stay Brony My Friends, & Michelle Creber's Saturday Night Songs. The remaining Everfree Network content is still on their Youtube channel.
Bronyville Podcast: “Okay, so there's this show called My Little Pony: Friendship is magic. It's not what you normally expect from a show for little girls. It's crazy good, expertly animated and cast, and has spawned this community called the 'bronies'. Join two bronies, Apple Cider and Chef Sandy, as they discuss episodes, culture, community events, and a ton more. Come on, all those stars on the side don't lie!”
The Bronyville Podcast was a popular brony podcast that ran from early 2011 through 2016, it's a goldmine of ancient fandom content and discussion. The podcasts are very interesting time capsules, with a lot of interviews with famous people in the fandom at that time as well as reviews of Seasons 1-5 episodes as they came out and speculation about the future seasons. With how early the podcast started (April 2011!), it captures the entire golden age of the brony fandom. On top of that, it's an entertaining and fun podcast.
ToonKriticY2K: Disclaimer: If you are unaware this user has admitted to engaging in predatory behavior with a variety of minors (which is why he deleted his channel and essentially had to cut off his online presence). Everyone else who appeared in these videos in all likelihood had no idea what he did and later cut off all ties with him when they found out. These reuploads are not an endorsement of anything ToonKritic2YK has done, and will be for archival purposes only. If his presence understandably bothers you, I would recommend not watching these videos. I reuploaded them because many people enjoyed the videos at the time and I believe that those who want to watch them should still be easily able to. Especially since there are still many collabs he was in on other channels that are still public on Youtube, and many of his videos featured other well known bronies such as Joshscorcher in them (who all later denounced and cut off from ToonKritic and are still in good standing with the community). The content mainly consists of MLP reviews and other fandom content such as podcasts and convention vlogs, and game livestreams with friends.

Guide available! Go here.
Series beginning is here.
[First] Prev/ Next
I took a deep breath and let it out. Looking up at Elizabet, I said, “Kilik-ma was curious as to the entertainment on my world. Liss-ran was apparently telling him about the breakfast we shared before we left on the hunt. The music we played through my phone. He wanted to hear some, but I’d left it here with you.
“Well, I was feeling better than I had any right to, and well, I decided to…sing a song,”
“You’ve never sang for me before. What gives?” Elizabet asked, sounding hurt.
“You never asked, and I’ve always been rather self-conscious about my voice. I don’t think it’s very good, and I don’t like to advertise that I actually can sing. Maybe four people back on Earth knew that I could sing and actually carry a tune. Now? Now, all of Haruma will know.
“Getting back to the matter at hand, I decided to sing a song about the winter and its beauty. I slipped into something of a trance, lost in the music apparently. Just singing and well, watching the song come alive in a field. I didn’t even realize that I was singing in the Ancient Tongue until the song was over, and I nearly passed out and fell off of Lola.” I took her hands in mine, and looked her in the eye, worry plastered across my face. “Elizabet, I made it snow. And not just a little bit, either. If you travel two or three hours back in the direction we came, the snow is up to my knees,” I said.
“You made it snow?” Blainaut asked, bewildered.
“Yeah. And… and that’s not all,” I said.
“What else did you do, Ivor?” Elizabet asked in exasperation.
“I might have let loose a new species of bird. A line in the song speaks of a bluebird, a specific, small bird from my planet, and a whole flock of them burst from a tree where there were no birds before. They flew off to the south,” I said, my head hung low.
Elizabet and Blainaut just stared at me. As Blainaut opened his mouth to say something, a voice piped up from the entrance to the city.
“Hey! We have visitors! Four of them. They’re small,” he said.
A crow swooped in from….somewhere and landed on my shoulder. This was going to be interesting.
I whipped around to face the possible threat. What I saw instead, were four canine pups. Realization washed over me as I realized what these were.
“The Dire Wolf,” I said softly.
“What? Dire Wolf? What do you mean, Dire Wolf?” Blainaut asked.
“I killed a female at the beginning of the hunt. She’d been in my Pack the entire time. Until this morning, anyway. I laid her in the cart to make more room for other prey we had taken. She was nursing pups at the time. I was worried they’d die, but it seems they didn’t and have followed her scent,” I explained quietly. “Back away from the cart! Don’t run. Move deliberately, and you should be okay,” I called out.
The Haarthuu slowly backed away from the cart, and the four pups approached in his stead. They pawed at the corpse of their mother, whining. Though large, they couldn’t have been more than two or three months of age. An idea struck me.
I shrugged off my Pack, and reached in for a parcel of meat from the sentry. I quickly cut some chunks from it, and slowly approached the pups, sliding the Pack back onto my shoulders. They began to growl at me, but I tossed some meat their way, and they snatched it up, obviously starving. One was especially quick about it, snapping up two to the others’ one. I continued, Duplicating and tossing meat at them until they seemed full. They began to walk off, so I halted their movement with a Wall of Stone, causing a large semicircle to appear around them. I walked in behind them and closed it off, trapping us all together.
“Ivor, no!” Elizabet yelled after me.
They immediately turned on me, growling and snarling. I tossed more meat at them, causing them to back away and spread out. One took a piece of meat and trotted off, away from the rest. The other three stood away, their hackles raised.
I took a chance and sat on the ground. As a precaution, I raised a Dome of Force over me, to ward off any attack that may come. The crow fluttered off before I finished, perching on the stone wall. One of the pups took hesitant steps towards me, sniffing the air.
“That’s right,” I said in a soft, low tone. “Come on. I’m safe. I may have killed your mother, and I’m sorry for that, but it was either her or my friends. I’ll help take care of your four, if you’ll let me,” I continued.
I could see the fear in their movements, in the way they paced and whined looking up at the wall. I racked my brain, trying desperately to recall some spell I could use to help these four pups calm down.
The one that had taken the meat and left raised its head and howled a low, keening wail. It was joined in by the others, and tears flowed down my cheeks. I knew they were mourning their mother.
As I sat there, the necessary spell flowed into my mind like water. “Call of the Wild, words of the woods, let them Hear me, let me Hear them.” I murmured, willing the five of us to understand the other.
“I’m sorry, kids. I didn’t know she was your mother,” I said softly.
The four of them snapped to attention and regarded me with suspicion.
“The two-legged pink ones lie. Always,” came a voice from my left.
“The green ones are little better,” this time, from my right.
“Strides-in-shadows is gone, and we are Nameless. Your fault!” directly in front of me, this time. The pup there was growling fiercely, slowly advancing.
“I will keep you fed. I will help you form a new pack. I will keep you safe. I will atone for the death of Strides-in-shadows,” I said solemnly.
“Fed? A new pack? Safe?” the pup that began the howl snorted and rose. It slowly padded over to me, its head cocked to the side. “How can a pink two-leg care for Wolf-kind? We hunt. We kill. We are strong,” it said.
“You will likely die without a new pack. I can offer definite survival,” I said softly.
The pup was standing at the very edge of the Dome. “Can you truly? We have our doubts,” it said softly.
I took a deep breath, my heart hammering in my ears. Slowly, I began to stand. Reaching the limit of my Dome, I dispelled it, and stood there in front of four pups. I held my hands out to my sides, open wide.
“I stand here before you. Believe me, or don’t. The Haarthuu will treat you as their own people, and I can promise you will have the attention of my three sons, should you wish it. You” - I knelt in front of the one I took to be the leader- “will never want for companionship and family for as long as you live, if you take my offer,” I said, slowly extending my hand out to him.
“Brothers? Sister? Do we take the pink one at his word? Do we kill him and feast? Do we leave?” he asked.
Three growls were heard as they advanced on me. I lowered my head, expecting the worst. I knew I would likely survive an attack, but I wanted to show trust. I head a snuffling to my right, feeling a cold nose press against my hand. I opened my eyes and slowly raised my head, only to find a yellow eye glaring into my face.
“We will trust for now. The moment we are harmed, we will tear through your people, rending life from flesh,” the leader said.
“Very well. I shall name you four,” I said. The pups sat before me in a line. “You, I shall call Speaks-with-honor. You can expect to be called ‘Speaker’ more often than not,” I said to the apparent leader, the one who had taken the meat and wandered away from his siblings, and he perked up. Turning to the fast one, I said, “You are Stings-with-wind. ‘Stinger’ will be your short name.” She, too, perked up, sitting a bit taller. I faced the calmer, quieter of the three and said, “You are Autumn Breeze. Autumn will be your short name.” He perked up, leaving the angriest of the bunch, who was pacing back and forth, a low growl coming from him. I faced him and intoned, “You are Heart-of-fire. Fireheart will be your short name.” I took in the entirety of the pups, and spread my arms wide. “It is time to meet your new pack! Come,” I said.
I turned to where I was pretty sure the crowd was, and slowly lowered the walls. The crow flapped back to my shoulder and rubbed her beak against my beard. Elizabet, Thaddeus and Blainaut were the first faces I saw. I smiled.
“People of Haruma! There are four Dire Wolf pups behind me. Please don’t be afraid, as I think I’ve made a deal with them,” I said loudly. “Speaks-with-honor is the eldest of the four. After him is his sister, Stings-with-wind. Their brother Autumn Breeze is next, followed by the fierce Heart-of-fire.” Each pup stepped forward with the announcement of their name. “They will hopefully stay with us for the rest of their lives, and we will cherish and love them as family. As long as they are not harmed, we will all prosper,” I said, the walls finally receding into the ground.
The pups sat behind me, watching impassively as the Haarthuu looked worriedly between each other. My boys slowly walked up to me.
“Mr. Ivor? What are we going to do with them?” asked Ahte-tan.
The crow, that I was now certain had to be The Great Mother, hopped off my shoulder and revealed Herself to the crowd of Haarthuu, who all knelt in reverence. Even the Dire Wolf pups showed their belly and neck to her. It seemed all life on Chaia knew her as their Mother.
She knelt in front of the boy. “You are going to love them, cherish them, and treat them like family, My Child. That’s what you’re going to do with them. I hope you will bond with them. They aren’t pets. They are family members. Remember that,” She said, seeing his serious face nod.
“Heart-of-fire? This is Ivor’s oldest, Ahte-tan. I hope the two of you will get along. He will take care of you, Fireheart. Treat each other well,” She said to the wolf pup.
Fireheart walked over to Ahte-tan, and sat before him, staring him in the eye. “Now, remember, Child. Fireheart is proud, strong, and lives up to his name. Help him focus that flame, and I am certain he will be a stalwart companion,” She said.
“Ahte-naah? This is Stings-with-wind. She is fast; faster than you, even. Help each other direct yourselves in your journeys, and I’m certain you will find no better friend than Stinger,” The Great Mother said gently.
Stinger padded over and sniffed and snuffled Ahte-naah’s face, then pounced on him, licking him all over. Ahte-naah giggled and laughed, burying his face in the wolf’s soft fur.
Speaks-with-honor padded over to my youngest, and cocked his head. “Speaker, this is Ivor’s youngest, Ahte-ukum. He is kind, soft-spoken, and rather timid. Help him find his inner warrior; his inner dragon, and you will have a partner to rely on for the rest of your life,” The Great Mother told the eldest pup.
Speaker walked over and lay down at my youngest’s feet, and Ahte-ukum sat, gently petting the gray fur.
Autumn Breeze trotted up to the goddess, butting her gently with his head. “Liss-ran?” The young woman gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. “This is Autumn. He is quiet, calm and attentive. Of all the Haarthuu, only you are able to properly understand him, I think. As you spend time with him, I think you may come to know yourself even better. Care for him as you would your own flesh and blood, and he will never leave you,” The Mother of All commanded. Once she had finished she turned to me.
“I certainly didn’t expect this, Ivor. You may have just begun to turn the tide for this city of My Children. As long as they survive, those pups will be a fierce deterrent to any seeking to gain entry. I am glad to see that you continue to exceed my expectations, dearest. However, I must take my leave. Stay safe, Ivor,” She said, then planted a soft kiss on my cheek before fading.
The pups, now sitting beside their respective Person, began a new howl. This was not one of sorrow, but of the joy of finding a pack.
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I took a deep breath and let it out. Looking up at Elizabet, I said, “Kilik-ma was curious as to the entertainment on my world. Liss-ran was apparently telling him about the breakfast we shared before we left on the hunt. The music we played through my phone. He wanted to hear some, but I’d left it here with you.
“Well, I was feeling better than I had any right to, and well, I decided to…sing a song,”
“You’ve never sang for me before. What gives?” Elizabet asked, sounding hurt.
“You never asked, and I’ve always been rather self-conscious about my voice. I don’t think it’s very good, and I don’t like to advertise that I actually can sing. Maybe four people back on Earth knew that I could sing and actually carry a tune. Now? Now, all of Haruma will know.
“Getting back to the matter at hand, I decided to sing a song about the winter and its beauty. I slipped into something of a trance, lost in the music apparently. Just singing and well, watching the song come alive in a field. I didn’t even realize that I was singing in the Ancient Tongue until the song was over, and I nearly passed out and fell off of Lola.” I took her hands in mine, and looked her in the eye, worry plastered across my face. “Elizabet, I made it snow. And not just a little bit, either. If you travel two or three hours back in the direction we came, the snow is up to my knees,” I said.
“You made it snow?” Blainaut asked, bewildered.
“Yeah. And… and that’s not all,” I said.
“What else did you do, Ivor?” Elizabet asked in exasperation.
“I might have let loose a new species of bird. A line in the song speaks of a bluebird, a specific, small bird from my planet, and a whole flock of them burst from a tree where there were no birds before. They flew off to the south,” I said, my head hung low.
Elizabet and Blainaut just stared at me. As Blainaut opened his mouth to say something, a voice piped up from the entrance to the city.
“Hey! We have visitors! Four of them. They’re small,” he said.
A crow swooped in from….somewhere and landed on my shoulder. This was going to be interesting.
I whipped around to face the possible threat. What I saw instead, were four canine pups. Realization washed over me as I realized what these were.
“The Dire Wolf,” I said softly.
“What? Dire Wolf? What do you mean, Dire Wolf?” Blainaut asked.
“I killed a female at the beginning of the hunt. She’d been in my Pack the entire time. Until this morning, anyway. I laid her in the cart to make more room for other prey we had taken. She was nursing pups at the time. I was worried they’d die, but it seems they didn’t and have followed her scent,” I explained quietly. “Back away from the cart! Don’t run. Move deliberately, and you should be okay,” I called out.
The Haarthuu slowly backed away from the cart, and the four pups approached in his stead. They pawed at the corpse of their mother, whining. Though large, they couldn’t have been more than two or three months of age. An idea struck me.
I shrugged off my Pack, and reached in for a parcel of meat from the sentry. I quickly cut some chunks from it, and slowly approached the pups, sliding the Pack back onto my shoulders. They began to growl at me, but I tossed some meat their way, and they snatched it up, obviously starving. One was especially quick about it, snapping up two to the others’ one. I continued, Duplicating and tossing meat at them until they seemed full. They began to walk off, so I halted their movement with a Wall of Stone, causing a large semicircle to appear around them. I walked in behind them and closed it off, trapping us all together.
“Ivor, no!” Elizabet yelled after me.
They immediately turned on me, growling and snarling. I tossed more meat at them, causing them to back away and spread out. One took a piece of meat and trotted off, away from the rest. The other three stood away, their hackles raised.
I took a chance and sat on the ground. As a precaution, I raised a Dome of Force over me, to ward off any attack that may come. The crow fluttered off before I finished, perching on the stone wall. One of the pups took hesitant steps towards me, sniffing the air.
“That’s right,” I said in a soft, low tone. “Come on. I’m safe. I may have killed your mother, and I’m sorry for that, but it was either her or my friends. I’ll help take care of your four, if you’ll let me,” I continued.
I could see the fear in their movements, in the way they paced and whined looking up at the wall. I racked my brain, trying desperately to recall some spell I could use to help these four pups calm down.
The one that had taken the meat and left raised its head and howled a low, keening wail. It was joined in by the others, and tears flowed down my cheeks. I knew they were mourning their mother.
As I sat there, the necessary spell flowed into my mind like water. “Call of the Wild, words of the woods, let them Hear me, let me Hear them.” I murmured, willing the five of us to understand the other.
“I’m sorry, kids. I didn’t know she was your mother,” I said softly.
The four of them snapped to attention and regarded me with suspicion.
“The two-legged pink ones lie. Always,” came a voice from my left.
“The green ones are little better,” this time, from my right.
“Strides-in-shadows is gone, and we are Nameless. Your fault!” directly in front of me, this time. The pup there was growling fiercely, slowly advancing.
“I will keep you fed. I will help you form a new pack. I will keep you safe. I will atone for the death of Strides-in-shadows,” I said solemnly.
“Fed? A new pack? Safe?” the pup that began the howl snorted and rose. It slowly padded over to me, its head cocked to the side. “How can a pink two-leg care for Wolf-kind? We hunt. We kill. We are strong,” it said.
“You will likely die without a new pack. I can offer definite survival,” I said softly.
The pup was standing at the very edge of the Dome. “Can you truly? We have our doubts,” it said softly.
I took a deep breath, my heart hammering in my ears. Slowly, I began to stand. Reaching the limit of my Dome, I dispelled it, and stood there in front of four pups. I held my hands out to my sides, open wide.
“I stand here before you. Believe me, or don’t. The Haarthuu will treat you as their own people, and I can promise you will have the attention of my three sons, should you wish it. You” - I knelt in front of the one I took to be the leader- “will never want for companionship and family for as long as you live, if you take my offer,” I said, slowly extending my hand out to him.
“Brothers? Sister? Do we take the pink one at his word? Do we kill him and feast? Do we leave?” he asked.
Three growls were heard as they advanced on me. I lowered my head, expecting the worst. I knew I would likely survive an attack, but I wanted to show trust. I head a snuffling to my right, feeling a cold nose press against my hand. I opened my eyes and slowly raised my head, only to find a yellow eye glaring into my face.
“We will trust for now. The moment we are harmed, we will tear through your people, rending life from flesh,” the leader said.
“Very well. I shall name you four,” I said. The pups sat before me in a line. “You, I shall call Speaks-with-honor. You can expect to be called ‘Speaker’ more often than not,” I said to the apparent leader, the one who had taken the meat and wandered away from his siblings, and he perked up. Turning to the fast one, I said, “You are Stings-with-wind. ‘Stinger’ will be your short name.” She, too, perked up, sitting a bit taller. I faced the calmer, quieter of the three and said, “You are Autumn Breeze. Autumn will be your short name.” He perked up, leaving the angriest of the bunch, who was pacing back and forth, a low growl coming from him. I faced him and intoned, “You are Heart-of-fire. Fireheart will be your short name.” I took in the entirety of the pups, and spread my arms wide. “It is time to meet your new pack! Come,” I said.
I turned to where I was pretty sure the crowd was, and slowly lowered the walls. The crow flapped back to my shoulder and rubbed her beak against my beard. Elizabet, Thaddeus and Blainaut were the first faces I saw. I smiled.
“People of Haruma! There are four Dire Wolf pups behind me. Please don’t be afraid, as I think I’ve made a deal with them,” I said loudly. “Speaks-with-honor is the eldest of the four. After him is his sister, Stings-with-wind. Their brother Autumn Breeze is next, followed by the fierce Heart-of-fire.” Each pup stepped forward with the announcement of their name. “They will hopefully stay with us for the rest of their lives, and we will cherish and love them as family. As long as they are not harmed, we will all prosper,” I said, the walls finally receding into the ground.
The pups sat behind me, watching impassively as the Haarthuu looked worriedly between each other. My boys slowly walked up to me.
“Mr. Ivor? What are we going to do with them?” asked Ahte-tan.
The crow, that I was now certain had to be The Great Mother, hopped off my shoulder and revealed Herself to the crowd of Haarthuu, who all knelt in reverence. Even the Dire Wolf pups showed their belly and neck to her. It seemed all life on Chaia knew her as their Mother.
She knelt in front of the boy. “You are going to love them, cherish them, and treat them like family, My Child. That’s what you’re going to do with them. I hope you will bond with them. They aren’t pets. They are family members. Remember that,” She said, seeing his serious face nod.
“Heart-of-fire? This is Ivor’s oldest, Ahte-tan. I hope the two of you will get along. He will take care of you, Fireheart. Treat each other well,” She said to the wolf pup.
Fireheart walked over to Ahte-tan, and sat before him, staring him in the eye. “Now, remember, Child. Fireheart is proud, strong, and lives up to his name. Help him focus that flame, and I am certain he will be a stalwart companion,” She said.
“Ahte-naah? This is Stings-with-wind. She is fast; faster than you, even. Help each other direct yourselves in your journeys, and I’m certain you will find no better friend than Stinger,” The Great Mother said gently.
Stinger padded over and sniffed and snuffled Ahte-naah’s face, then pounced on him, licking him all over. Ahte-naah giggled and laughed, burying his face in the wolf’s soft fur.
Speaks-with-honor padded over to my youngest, and cocked his head. “Speaker, this is Ivor’s youngest, Ahte-ukum. He is kind, soft-spoken, and rather timid. Help him find his inner warrior; his inner dragon, and you will have a partner to rely on for the rest of your life,” The Great Mother told the eldest pup.
Speaker walked over and lay down at my youngest’s feet, and Ahte-ukum sat, gently petting the gray fur.
Autumn Breeze trotted up to the goddess, butting her gently with his head. “Liss-ran?” The young woman gasped and covered her mouth with her hands. “This is Autumn. He is quiet, calm and attentive. Of all the Haarthuu, only you are able to properly understand him, I think. As you spend time with him, I think you may come to know yourself even better. Care for him as you would your own flesh and blood, and he will never leave you,” The Mother of All commanded. Once she had finished she turned to me.
“I certainly didn’t expect this, Ivor. You may have just begun to turn the tide for this city of My Children. As long as they survive, those pups will be a fierce deterrent to any seeking to gain entry. I am glad to see that you continue to exceed my expectations, dearest. However, I must take my leave. Stay safe, Ivor,” She said, then planted a soft kiss on my cheek before fading.
The pups, now sitting beside their respective Person, began a new howl. This was not one of sorrow, but of the joy of finding a pack.