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2023.06.09 16:25 DoABarrowRoll Defending the Draft: New York Giants Edition (2023)
Hello to you, fellow ingrates.
Year 6 of DABR Defends the New York Giants from Criticism has arrived.
tl;dr: The Giants had their most successful season since 2016, and arguably since winning the Super Bowl in 2012 (if the draft spot/playoff success is the measurement) and went into draft night with the latest selection they've had since 2012, the first outside the top 11 since 2016.
Giants fans didn't really expect to win that many games this year. There were still some hopefuls for Daniel Jones but most people had come to terms with new GM Joe Schoen and new HC Brian Daboll pretty much setting up to replace him, declining his 5th year option.
It was the first year of this regime, they hadn't really been able to fix up the roster fully, etc. Most Giants fans I know were expecting a 4-7 win season, not sniffing the playoff race. Ha.
It all started week 1 vs Tennessee. It was honestly a story Giants fans have gotten familiar with. Look absolutely horrible in the first half of the game, but somehow struggle back into it in the second half, only to be dramatically disappointed at the end of the game. After Daniel Jones threw a red zone interception with just under 9 minutes to go, we thought that was pretty much it.
But then with 4 minutes left, Saquon Barkley rips off a 33 yard run, Daniel Jones converts a 4th and 1, and the Giants score a TD to pull them to just a 1 point deficit. Most Giants fans are thinking "okay he's gonna kick it, play for overtime, I respect that, we didn't think it would be that close anyways."
And then we see the offense staying on the field...uh oh. The offense wasn't exactly clicking on all cylinders to that point in the game, having been shut out in the first half. If we don't get it, the game is pretty much lost. Daboll calls a shovel pass, Saquon gets it, it looks like it's completely doomed...I'm thinking "here we go again, his first game and the media is already going to be all over him for going for it"...but Saquon fights his way in! Giants take the lead for the first time in the game. We're feeling good, Daboll's huge balls in that situation giving us some confidence.
Then the Titans methodically work the ball down the field (along with a couple of assists from Austin Calitro and Darnay Holmes), setting up a 47 yard field goal for Randy Bullock to win the game.
Now, I'm thinking, "of course this is what happened, they gave us some hope, now it's going to get ripped away from us, just like always. Story of the last few years at times."
...and then Bullock missed the kick. That was the start of what turned into a magical first half of the season, the Giants getting off to a 7-2 start, all 7 wins coming by a 1 score margin (though the Bears and Texans games were a bit cleaner than the final scoreline suggests), and 5 of them really coming down to big time plays in the last 5 minutes of the game.
The Titans story, taking the lead with 3:38 left in the 4th quarter and Julian Love sacking Baker Mayfield to force 4th and 15 the next drive against Carolina, Kayvon Thibodeaux and Xavier McKinney batting down Aaron Rodgers' passes in London, Love intercepting Lamar Jackson to set up the game winning score against Baltimore, McKinney and Love stopping Christian Kirk at the 1 yard line on the last play against Jacksonville.
All of those games are games that go against us in previous years. But this year was just different. And somehow through it all, there were Saquon Barkley and Daniel Jones as well. Saquon was the focal point of the offense early in the season, Jones being efficient in a heavy, limited, play action focused passing attack.
All thoughts of the Giants earning a top pick and replacing Daniel Jones pretty much went out the window by week 4, and hope for Jones maybe finally becoming the QB he was drafted to be started to blossom in some parts of the Giants fanbase.
Things came crashing down a bit the next 4 weeks. Awful losses to Detroit, Dallas, and Philly, with a tie against Washington in there too that many Giants fans felt they deserved to win capped off a 1-4-1 stretch where the Giants simply did not look good. They looked more like what we expected the team to look like coming into the year. The playoff spot was no longer guaranteed, at 7-5-1. But a flexed SNF game against Washington would pretty much decide the season.
And the Giants took that win against Washington and ran with it. A close loss against the Vikings that was probably the best passing attack game of the season to that point, a dominating win against the hapless Colts that locked the Giants into the playoffs, and a surprisingly tight and scrappy game between the Eagles starters and the Giants backups gave Giants fans some hope headed into the playoffs. We didn't expect to win a Super Bowl, but the matchup against the Vikings seemed winnable.
And winnable it was, as in classic 2023 Giants fashion, they took a lead about halfway through the 4th quarter, and a couple of clutch plays on defense by Cordale Flott and Xavier McKinney ended the game.
Then we went to Philly and got absolutely ass blasted, ending our season.
That left the Giants with the 25th pick in the class, entering an offseason with a lot of business to take care of.
Free Agency Recap
The Giants had a lot more room to operate in free agency this year than last year, and Schoen was relatively creative in how he wanted to go about it.
The first step in that process though was figuring out the status of his pending free agents; most notably, the two who led the way on offense most of the year: Daniel Jones and Saquon Barkley. The Jones negotiations were tense, Jones asked for the moon and the team was not having it. Eventually (literally right before the tag deadline) they settled on a 4 yr, 160m extension with 82m fully guaranteed and a boatload of incentives that could push the value up to almost 200m. That allowed the team to tag Saquon Barkley, whose extension talks are reportedly still stalled, as Barkley declined an offer worth almost 14m during the Giants' bye week, and continues to find the Giants' offer(s) unpalatable.
Speculation is that Barkley is seeking more guaranteed money from the Giants (greater than the sum of 2 franchise tags), but Barkley's camp is not leaking much (reportedly because Saquon doesn't want them to). And according to most reporters, Saquon is too competitive to actually sit out the season, removing his last bit of leverage.
Possibly the biggest addition of the Giants' free agency period was actually a trade: The Giants traded the Chiefs' 3rd rounder (acquired for Kadarius Toney) for TE Darren Waller. This is a huge move because the Giants were dead last in explosive pass play rate by a WIDE margin. Only like 6 individual team seasons since 2010 had fewer explosive passing plays than the 2022 Giants. That's something that Schoen and Daboll immediately set out to fix, and Darren Waller is one of the best explosive pass weapons in the league, leading all TEs in explosive pass plays this season despite playing just 9 games this year. Reports out of OTAs are that the Giants are expecting Waller to basically fill a "WR1" role for them; not necessarily in alignment but being the focal point of the offense, high target share, etc.
Schoen and Daboll followed that addition up with two more explosive pass play options: retaining Darius Slayton, and adding Parris Campbell to the room. Slayton is a solid WR, he's good for 600-700 yards when he gets run. His hands are inconsistent, but he makes up for it often. Campbell finally broke out having a healthy season for the Colts this season. I think Campbell is mostly insurance for Wan'Dale Robinson, who is coming off of a torn ACL, but if healthy should get primary run in the slot.
The Giants' other two main moves came on the defensive side of the ball, adding LB Bobby Okereke to a LB room that comprised of: Jarrad Davis, Micah McFadden, and Darrian Beavers (coming off a torn ACL). Much needed improvement in that room. The Giants also added Rakeen Nunez-Roches and A'Shawn Robinson to the DL room to improve the depth there; Dexter Lawrence and Leonard Williams were playing too many snaps, and the Giants were really bad against the run last year.
In the process though, the Giants lost both of their starting centers from 2022, Nick Gates and Jon Feliciano, as well as S Julian Love, who had been a consistent staple of the defense the last few years.
The Giants roster was in much better shape this year than last year, but the team still had a number of problems:
- CB was still a HUGE need for the Giants, and one that had not been properly addressed yet. Adoree' Jackson had another very good year in 2022, but the spot across from him had been a mishmosh of misfit toys: Fabian Moreau had a nice little run, but struggled down the stretch. Nick McCloud got a lot of run at CB2 after being claimed on waivers from the Bills. Cordale Flott had been drafted as a nickel defender but got some run there. And the slot position wasn't much better, as Darnay Holmes continued to be a liability there. This position needed reinforcements. I've been a relatively vocal minority in the Giants fandom saying this has been the BIGGEST need the team had for a couple of years now (basically aside from the one year that we had Bradberry and Jackson both on the team).
- Despite adding Slayton, Campbell, and Waller, WR was still something the team needed. Specifically someone who could develop into a WR1 type player. The Giants WR room is relatively deep, but just adding Campbell and Waller and running back last year's group didn't feel sufficient. The team clearly was putting an emphasis on speed, separation, and yards after the catch ability.
- Center was a massive need. The Giants basically didn't have a center on the roster who had played meaningful NFL snaps. Ben Bredeson could move to center if needed, but it wasn't that solid of a plan. And in what seemed like a good center class, this seemed like a good way to solve that problem.
- LB. The LB2 spot currently will be either Jarrad Davis, Micah McFadden (who basically lost the job last year to Jarrad Davis), or Darrian Beavers (who tore his ACL last year). I think that says it all.
- RB: Saquon is on the tag, so you feel okay here, but the team has been seeking a solid compliment for him for a while. They were in on a few of the RBs last year and the value never lined up, and Matt Breida and Gary Brightwell didn't really cut it last year. They don't want to run Saquon into the ground early in the year like they did last year, so having a compliment for him is big.
- S: Losing Julian Love is a tough one. He played a lot of snaps and wore a lot of hats for this defense last year, especially with McKinney missing time with a hand injury. The team likes Jason Pinnock, and drafted Dane Belton in the early 4th last year, but more depth and competition here would be very welcome.
So let's get into the picks:
1.24: Deonte Banks, CB, Maryland
Seems like maybe Schoen agreed with me!
It was a lot harder to try to predict what the Giants would do this year, just by virtue of having a later pick. But the general consensus among the beat seemed to be that the team wanted to get a CB or an offensive playmaker with that first pick. I was a little skeptical of CB being an option, seeing how many mocks had all 5 of the top CBs off the board, but that often left WRs available.
So right after the Jets took Will McDonald at 15, if you looked at the board, only 1 CB had been taken and no WRs had been taken. That felt pretty good for the Giants.
Then Forbes and Gonzalez come off the board, and the top 4 WRs come off the board from 20-23.
That left the Giants feeling a little antsy. They had one guy they really wanted left, and negotiated a trade up one spot with the Jaguars to secure their guy: Deonte Banks.
This pick is perfect for what the Giants want to do on defense. Wink Martindale's reaction should say it all, if you go watch the Giants' behind the scenes videos on the draft process.
Banks is a tall, long, and athletic corner, which are all important traits for Wink's press man heavy defense. He's super fluid and smooth in his hips. He tested absolutely crazy. He also plays with a swag that I think Wink and Giants fans will come to really appreciate. He plays confident, he plays fast in terms of processing, and he plays physical.
He still has some development to go, I'm not saying he's going to be a top CB in the league from day 1. He wasn't a super ball productive corner, but that's not something Wink necessarily needs. It will take some time for him to get comfortable with the complexity of route runners in the NFL. But the tools are all there, and the Giants get a perfect scheme fit.
Banks will come in and immediately be the starter at CB across from Adoree' Jackson, and the trickle down effect that will have on the Giants depth chart at CB will be tangible.
2.57: John Michael Schmitz, OC, Minnesota
As this pick was coming up, Schoen and Daboll were discussing who to pick, and basically said "okay we're either going with Schmitz or (we'll get to that later ;) )".
Then the Bears traded up to the pick before the Giants pick. And Joe Schoen said "oh fuck." Daboll tried to calm him down and said "well I guess we're getting ."
Then the Bears took Tyrique Stevenson (good pick!), leaving the Giants the choice between the two players. And the Giants went with Schmitz.
Full disclosure: I was not a huge JMS fan in the draft process. I thought he was super solid all around, but he wasn't really impressive to me, there weren't a lot of overwhelmingly positive reps or traits in my eyes. I thought he was maybe a little heavy footed, especially in pass pro, and his testing kind of backed that up, and I didn't really see full unlocked power either.
I was probably a bit harsh on him in terms of the grade though. Like I said, he's a super solid player. There's relatively little to really complain about. He's smart, he's experienced, and he made few mental mistakes. His snaps were consistent. He is pretty strong though not crazy so. His anchor is really good, and he plays nasty and competitive, which is something the Giants are definitely looking for. It helps he had a really good Senior Bowl week too.
Was Schmitz my favorite center in this class? No. But he was for many people, and for some good reasons. Schmitz will come in and immediately start at center for the Giants, bringing the dead snap with him. If he can be the 3rd best player on this unit (behind Andrew Thomas and hopefully Evan Neal taking a step forward this year and being healthy), it'll be an immensely calming and steadying presence that should raise the OL play of the whole unit.
3.73: Jalin Hyatt, WR, Tennessee
So you may be wondering: Who was Player X?
Well immediately after drafting Schmitz, Schoen looked around the room and pretty much said "what if we can still get ?" He decided that the price he was willing to pay was the Giants 4th round pick. And he and everybody else in the room started calling.
That included Brian Daboll, who leaned over and said "hey should I text [Rams HC Sean] McVay?" Schoen said "yeah sure go for it." And Daboll officially negotiated the Giants trading up from 89 to 73 to select Player X: Tennessee WR Jalin Hyatt
Hyatt is a really fun player to watch. The speed blows you away on tape. It's the kind of speed that even if you're not throwing it to him all the time, defenses have to take note when he comes on the field and play him differently. He's not necessarily slippery or elusive after the catch but (and I'm scared to frame it this way but I'm doing it anyway) the speed and acceleration gives him credibility there, the way that Odell was such a YAC threat on slants just getting to full speed and outrunning everyone.
He's a little high cut I think, and that leads to a little bit of trouble with crisper routes. He wasn't asked to run a very complex route tree at Tennessee, though I do think he has the skills to improve in that sense. The biggest concern for me is just how quickly we can get him up to speed beating press and playing through physicality. When he has room to work, he can beat CBs in a few ways, but NFL DBs will knock even very good WRs off their routes at times. And that follows through to contested catches.
The Giants' WR room is so crowded it's hard for me to say exactly what Hyatt's role will be starting out. The Giants started last year trying to use different WRs in different ways on a game to game basis. Then the wheels fell off obviously, with Shep, Wan'Dale, and Toney being hurt and Golladay stinking and all that. So I wonder if we see a return to that.
Hyatt can be a threat in a lot of ways, end arounds, screens, etc in addition to the obvious "go long" situations. Just how many reps he can carve out will be fun to track in training camp.
So the Giants come out of the first 3 rounds with 3 players who were commonly mocked to them at 25. Pretty good business! But let's get into day 3:
5.172: Eric Gray, RB, Oklahoma
The Giants traded away their 4th round pick to get Hyatt so they went 99 picks without making a selection.
Like I said earlier, the team has been looking for a compliment to Saquon Barkley for a long time, and they find it here with Eric Gray.
Schoen said he sees Eric Gray as a 3 down back. And you can definitely see why. He caught 88 passes over the last 3 years at Oklahoma and only dropped 2. He's also strong and physical, willing to pass protect. That physicality carries over into his running style, he runs hard and is willing to run through guys. He's bursty in short areas and has pretty solid vision in my opinion.
He's a compact guy, just 5'9 207. He's not super slippery or elusive, and he's not really a home run hitter. But in terms of finding a backup RB on day 3 to feed some of those tough yardage carries to and keep Saquon fresh, you could do worse than Eric Gray for sure.
The Giants ran a fair bit of "Pony" type formations in 2022, using 2 or even 3 RBs at times. The competition between Gray and Matt Breida for the true RB2 spot will be fun to see. Breida brings a little more explosiveness to the table, but Gray will certainly give him a run for his money. And depending on what happens with Saquon Barkley's contract situation, we may see even more of Gray down the line.
6.209: Tre Hawkins, CB, Old Dominion
When asked about what is different this year from last year, what improvements or what has gotten easier now that he's been in the chair for a full year, Joe Schoen talked a lot about really getting a good handle on what his coaches look for in players. And he singled out Wink in that respect because him and Daboll have worked together so much.
The Giants selection of Tre Hawkins really highlights that. Like with Deonte Banks, Hawkins brings a ton of physical traits. He tested through the roof. He has the length that the Giants look for. He's also super physical in both phases, run and pass, which Wink loves. ODU let him just play press man, so he's comfortable doing that.
He's a little slim still, so his frame needs some reworking, but that's common with CBs and especially ones from outside the P5 schools. He also has a lot of technique and FBIQ stuff to clean up. His footwork is messy, he's not always patient enough with his punch. His ball skills still leave something to be desired. He's still learning to read routes and manage space both in man and zone.
I figure Hawkins will come in and be a depth player and core STer for the Giants. If his play strength holds up against NFL scrutiny, he can definitely be a day 1 punt gunner. Wink has started calling Jerome Henderson the best DB coach in the league, so it'll be fun to see what Henderson can do with a ball of clay like Hawkins. Even if he ends up just being a STer and CB5 type guy, that's still a pretty good pick in the 6th round like this.
Also, sorry Patriots writer :)
7.243: Jordon Riley, DL, Oregon
Beating a dead horse at this point, but this is another pick Schoen highlighted as an example of his understanding of what Wink is looking for.
Obviously Riley is a flawed prospect, it's the 7th round. He was a 6th year senior who spent time at 4 different schools, starting at UNC, then going to JUCO for a year, then Nebraska for 2 years where he barely played, and finishing his college career at Oregon. PFF lists him as having just 534 career snaps in college despite the 5 years he spent at the P5 level. He wasn't very productive, partly because he barely played and partly because he's just not very good. He's not a good athlete.
What Riley does have, though, is size, strength, and knockback power. And that's what Wink is looking for in a depth NT. He eats blocks, stuffs up lanes, and just is hard to move.
Schoen put it this way:
"It’s hard to find these guys. When you get into the seventh round, you are looking for guys that maybe it will be hard to get at different areas. And another guy we spent time with, big run stopper in there, 6-foot-5, 330.
You walk out to practice, and there’s this 6-5, 330-pound guy, who piques your interest right there. Again, some of these guys in different schemes may not have the production, the tackles, the sacks. But for what Wink looks for in terms of size, length, knock-back — he possesses those traits.”
7.254: Gervarrius Owens, DB, Houston
Last pick in the draft and the Giants go back to the DB room. They took two CBs already, but some depth/developmental guys at safety would help. Enter: Gervarrius Owens.
Owens is a former CB turned S from Houston. The CB in him flashes to me on tape, I thought his ball skills as a safety were good. He's athletic enough to play pretty much any safety spot, including that single high spot that teams find difficult to fill. He's super physical and willing to play downhill and tackle. He's super experienced, he was a team captain and 4 year starter for Houston.
He makes a lot of mistakes, however. The angles he takes to the ball in both phases are super inconsistent. He missed a ton of tackles in college, so that technique needs to be worked on. The ball skills turned into PBUs rather than INTs; Wink won't mind that but some of them were like "he really should have just caught that."
Owens is another guy like Hawkins who looks primed to earn his roster spot on special teams and provide solid depth for the team's DB room. Wink likes to play 3+ safety sets, especially when he feels like he has a good group there. And the Giants' S room right now is basically Xavier McKinney and a bunch of question marks, so it's entirely feasible that Owens can come in and beat Dane Belton, Jason Pinnock, and Bobby McCain to earn playing time early on.
The Giants UDFA class included a few notable names. 5 total players who got 100k+ in guarantees:
- Bryce Ford-Wheaton, WR, WVU: The Giants gave Bryce Ford-Wheaton a LOT of guaranteed money for a UDFA: 236k, which is the full season PS salary plus 20k. BFW was one of "my guys" this year I was hoping for the Giants to get. He's got the size and athleticism to be really good, but he's a little one note right now. In a crowded WR room, I kind of doubt he'll make the roster without some injuries (or Wan'Dale/Shep being on PUP) but like other late rounders/UDFAs, if he can find some value on special teams, he's a fun upside swing.
- Dyontae Johnson, LB, Toledo: Another guy who got a lot of guaranteed money. The Giants needed some reinforcements at LB and clearly didn't find them in the draft. Super productive in college, very instinctive player, but I'm not sure if he can run with the league. He'll compete with the Giants mishmosh of LBs to play on special teams.
- Ryan Jones, TE/FB, East Carolina: The Giants have been searching for a kind of H-Back type for a while now. Last year they brought in Jeremiah Hall from Oklahoma, that didn't stick. Andre Miller, who was a WR at Maine, seemed like he was getting run at that spot in camp last year, but a broken arm ended his season. Chris Myarick ended up taking some of those reps. Ryan Jones kind of fits that mold as well.
- Habakkuk Baldonado, EDGE, Pittsburgh: The Giants' pass rusher depth is...not great. Behind Kayvon Thibodeaux and Azeez Ojulari, it's Jihad Ward, Oshane Ximines, and Tomon Fox. And Ojulari missed a lot of time last year. Baldonado could potentially come in and earn a spot over Ximines/Fox. He's got good play strength and power and fits what the Giants would need as more of an edge setter and run defender to give Thibodeaux/Ojulari a rest rep before letting them loose to rush the passer.
- Gemon Green, CB, Michigan: Another tough and physical corner. I don't think there's really a spot for him on this roster with the additions of Banks and Hawkins, and I think he's not quite the athlete the Giants look for at CB, but as a last resort/STer he can potentially get somewhere.
I did this last year because it was Schoen's first year here, but I like the idea of doing it every year. What can we learn from the way Schoen drafted this year that we can file away and learn for the future? What can mockers learn from this to inform them of who makes sense for the Giants.
And it's pretty similar to last year:
- Athleticism. Once again, pretty much every player the Giants drafted, and the UDFAs generally, were excellent athletes who tested well. The main exceptions being JMS (who was still a solid athlete) and Jordon Riley this year; where the exception last year basically was just DJ Davidson. This team has faith in its coaching staff and wants to give them players they can work with.
- Scheme/Roster Fits. I talked about it a lot with the defensive picks, but every single one is a "Wink Martindale" guy. What does Wink want for his system? This can be a little dangerous considering Wink was in the running for a HC gig last year, and another strong year might finally get him the HC job he has been looking for. If he leaves and the scheme changes, these players need to be able to match the new scheme too. But it's clear that the FO values the input of the coaching staff and there's really clear communication there. This also applies to the offensive side of the ball, where it's super clear that the team wanted more speed on offense, which pointed to Hyatt a little bit.
- Youth. This one is a little less applicable this year as they did draft a few older players, like JMS and Riley, even Eric Gray who turns 24 in November or Tre Hawkins who turns 23 over the summer. But Banks just turned 22, Jalin Hyatt will turn 22 in late September. It feels like maybe they felt more attached to the age stuff when they thought this was a full on rebuild, but now that they're hoping to be a playoff team again, they need some more instant contributors.
- Aggressiveness/willingness to trade. This is a newer one, as last year the Giants only traded back. But this year the Giants traded up twice, giving up 3 day 3 picks in the process. Schoen is not afraid to make trades in either direction. Up to secure guys he really wants (Banks/Hyatt), or down if there's nothing there. Schoen talked about having trades lined up in both directions with the first round pick, he had a trade down ready if there was no one he wanted left.
The Giants went into the 2022 draft clearly rebuilding, 5 picks in the top 81 and making 11 selections. This year, the team came into the draft with 10 picks and came out with just 7. Clearly the team thinks the depth is improving and wants to focus on building the championship contender they are looking to be.
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2023.06.09 16:17 ho_merjpimpson Mower runs strong for 20-40 minutes and then dies. What to check next
John deer lt180. Kawasaki Fh500v engine, carbureted. I run nothing but ethanol free fuel through it.
What it does: starts up strong, mows well, idles well, choke needed when expected. Runs great for about 20-60 minutes and then starts cutting out. Seems like its running out of fuel? But maybe not? I don't want to suggest that and influece your thoughts. All I know is if I ignore it, the machine suddenly dies, and I have to wait a while to start it again, at which point I have slightly less time to mow... 10-30 minutes before it happens again. If I hear it happening, and immediately disenguage the blades and idle it down, I can sometimes nurse it through the issue. The engine will surge and eventually stop surging and I can mow on for another 10-30 minutes or so.
what I've done: new fuel pump, filter and some fuel lines. Disassembled and cleaned carb. Topped off fuel
what I'm thinking I'll do next: ignition coils(2), blow out fuel lines from the filter back into the tank. Then siphon out the tank.
I've had issues before where when a machine gets hot it cuts off ignition because of the bad coils... But in my experience that is usually sudden. But an easy $30 attempt.
I've also heard that mowers have a pickup screen/mesh in the tank and that as they run you can slowly suck up debris as you mow until the fuel line is clogged.
Any other thoughts on what I can try? The issue is that this machine lives at my camp, 4 hours away, and every time I go up I try something new and thus far it hasn't fixed it. Hoping to have as many things to try as possible when I go up next so I can try and get it squared away and not make a 2 hour mow take 6 hours.
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2023.06.09 12:51 House_of_Suns /r/QOTSA Official Band of the Week 23: KING BUFFALO
So when you think of cities with high culture
and vibrant music scenes on the east coast, what springs to mind? Obviously New York. Thanks to Drake, we all know about the growing music scene in Toronto. You prahbahbly musta tawt a Bawstan tew.
Maybe Montreal or Philadelphia or even Baltimore crossed your mind.
Time to check your cultural bias, pal. You passed over a quiet little city on the south shore of Lake Ontario, nestled in the Genesee River valley. It has a history as a hotbed of Abolitionism and Women’s Rights. It is the home of Eastman Kodak, Xerox, Bausch & Lomb, Western Union, Ragu and other innovative companies. It has a lively music scene, great nightclubs, world-renowned universities, thriving museums, arts & culture festivals, and live theatre. It is a true cultural gem that many folks overlook.
Yep. You bet your ass
I am talking about Rochester, New York.
Since we know that Stoner Rock can come from anywhere, it should be no surprise that Rochester has produced one of the leading bands in this genre. This week we are going to check out a band you are going to want to listen to. If you know them, you love them. If you haven’t heard of them, you are going to thank me.
This week’s band is KING BUFFALO. About Them
Hold on a sec. King Buffalo? Not King Rochester?
To be fair, King Rochester
sounds like the villain in a Disney movie. Kinda hard to imagine that on a T-Shirt. King New York sounds like a particularly obnoxious Yankees fan
(and yeah, finding a Yankees fan that isn’t obnoxious is a tough go). King Albany sounds like a car made by Kia.
But King Buffalo?
That just works.
Our heroes didn’t start out together. King Buffalo were made up of members of two other Rochester area bands.
Randall Coon and Scott Donaldson were playing together in Velvet Elvis. That five piece band played heavy rock with space-based themes in the early 2010’s. Sean McVay and Dan Reynolds were in another band called Abandoned Buildings Club (side note: kinda neat that their initials were ABC), who had a pure psychedelic rock vibe. When both VE and ABC appeared to be having limited success, the four musicians decided to merge their talents into one band. Coon had handled vocals and guitar in Velvet Elvis
and Donaldson had been rock solid on drums.
McVay had done vocals and guitar in Abandoned Buildings Club
and Reynolds had anchored the sound with his bass. All the pieces were there for a classic Beatles-esque lineup.
So out of the wreckage of ABC and VE, KB arose. The four members gelled so well that they were able to record their first demo - aptly titled Demo
- in just two days. Their sound was immediately compared to tourmates and close friends All Them Witches. But where ATW were bluesy and sludgy, King Buffalo had produced songs full of space.
Oh, there were heavy riffs for sure - but there were passages of music that were contrastingly lighter and further apart. The best example of these contrasts can be found in the more than 11 minutes of Providence Eye.
The first six and a half minutes come at you at a lulling pace, enveloping you in the moment. You get swept up in the rolling riffs. But then the drop happens and you suddenly realize the song has been building to this peak. The tempo picks up and you ride a relentless rollercoaster
until you hit the Black Sabbath-inspired outro, which takes you home. It is an emotional experience. The two other tracks - In Dim Light
and Pocket Full of Knife
are smaller essays on the same theme.
It was clear right from Demo
that King Buffalo had some serious talent. But if you have listened to the band you will notice that one thing is starkly different on Demo
than from any of their other releases: the vocals. Randall Coon was the lead vocalist on these recordings. If you play them up against anything since by the band they stand out. Our very own QotSA may have successfully had multiple vocalists on multiple tunes, but King Buffalo was destined to have Sean McVay take over the mic. Shortly after 2013’s Demo,
Coon left the band to do a solo project called Skunk Hawk.
King Buffalo stood at a crossroads: did they look to replace Coon, or should they carry on as a Power Trio? The choice for them was obvious. McVay, Reynolds and Donaldson knew that they had fantastic potential together. They decided they didn't need anyone else.
Side note: Regular readers of these write ups know that All Them Witches just went through this exact crisis in 2019. What I didn’t share then is that ATW are close friends with KB. I would not be surprised to learn that ATW had some serious conversations about their lineup with the boys from KB before they, too, decided last year to pare down to just three members.
To re-christen their new lineup, in 2015 King Buffalo went in on a split EP
with Swedish band Lé Betre (I mean, hooking up with a Swedish partner
is a dream of mine, so I see the appeal.) They re-recorded their standout tune Providence Eye
with McVay on vocals, as well as two new tracks - Like a Cadillac
and New Time. New Time
opens their side of the EP with an infectious, descending riff that hooks you immediately. It is clear from the lyrics - No wasting around, it’s a new time
- that they had moved on from Coon. Like a Cadillac
follows up and is a three and a half minute jam that leaves you wanting more. The re-recorded version of Providence Eye
closes out their side of the split EP and leaves no doubt that they are in charge. It is a tighter, heavier
version, and the amazing outro is so low down that it will make you want to rob your own house.
With their lineup now set, it was time to put together enough music to tour on. In 2016, King Buffalo released Orion.
Here you can witness the melding of their influences into something majestic and fantastic, and it is here that they really develop their signature style.
To explain this style, you need to understand basic song structure.
Most pop songs tend to go verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus - chorus.
Sure, you could add in a solo for the bridge, or a detailed intro or outro, or another verse - but this is a tried and true formula. Some variation of this dominates the pop charts to this day.
Not with King Buffalo songs. These guys are the masters of the drop, and you hear it in most of their tunes. QotSA fans are no strangers to that long build and release; it is an integral part of tunes like The Evil Has Landed, God is in the Radio, Song For The Dead,
and I Appear Missing.
One of the sickest drops ever recorded happens in the middle of the Them Crooked Vultures tune No One Loves Me & Neither Do I.
It is where the music turns around, and a new riff takes over, often along with a pace change. It is then that you realize that the song has built to this climactic moment, and you are engulfed by the music.
King Buffalo does this better than anyone else, and you hear it clearly articulated, again and again, on the album Orion.
Take the song Kerosene
A rolling bass riff from Reynolds establishes the song right out of the gate. Donaldson produces punchy drum beats with cymbal crashes at the end of each phrase. McVay’s slide guitar rounds out the intro. McVay’s vocals - very Ozzy like, if Ozzy had any semblance of self-control
- frame the first verse, which ends in a fuzzy, heavy riff with crashing cymbals. This same pattern is repeated a second time and the drop is teased at just past three minutes in, but does not happen quite yet. The listener’s anticipation builds as the airy, soaring solo from McVay calls out in contrast to the rolling bass. After the guitar solo bridge, the band goes right back into the chorus. But then it happens: THE DROP.
Just past 5 minutes in, the song takes a complete and abrupt turn for a totally different riff that is at the same time heavier and brand new, and yet has been there all the while.
What King Buffalo does brilliantly is subvert your musical expectations.
The standard structure is V-C-V-C-B-C-C. Kerosene
is V-C-V-C-B-C-DROP-OUTRO. Just when you subliminally expect something the same, you get something different.
The entire album is like that. Orion
hardly sounds like a debut. It is a mature and deliberate soundscape built by talented musicians who are making significant choices about their art. Songs like Drinking From The River Rising
open with an expansive and elastic topography, but drill down to the molten lava
of heavy riffs and distorted fuzz. Sleeps On A Vine
begins with one of the most zen riffs you’ve ever heard and ends in a tumultuous and heavy sonic assault that is pure controlled chaos.
Every song on the album is a study in contrasts that leaves you with auditory whiplash and a burning desire for more.
They are that good.
King Buffalo were able to tour on their new material, and did so extensively. They played clubs and larger venues, often with friends and fellow Stoner Rockers All Them Witches and other bands like The Sword and Elder. In 2017, the released the EP Repeater
as a follow up. It is just three songs (The vinyl ad reads, All songs on one side! No need to flip!
) but it is a heck of a musical journey. The title track off the EP is 13+ minutes long and is one huge build. When the fuzz finally drops after almost 8 minutes, it is a true cathartic moment. It sneaks up on you, and is so welcome when it hits - especially after McVay’s repetition that “Every Day is the Same* - that you intrinsically understand how great it is when things finally change for the better. Too Little Too Late
is an instrumental tune that is both enveloping and expansive. It is a terrific bridge to the final track, Centurion,
which is an unbelievable groove. Centurion
has three minutes of set up leading to an unreal fuzzy drop that is so dirty it will get you evicted from your apartment.
The influence of their touring with All Them Witches can also be seen on their next full length release, 2018’s Longing To Be The Mountain.
Ben McLeod from ATW produced the album. ATW, The Sword and Elder are all thanked in the liner notes. The album picks up right where Repeater
leaves off, with KB experimenting with long form songs like Morning Song
and the title track, and shorter jams like Sun Shivers, Cosmonaut,
Reynolds and McVay pepper the songs with synthesizer sounds that add colour and texture to the overall compositions. Donaldson drums with impeccable precision to provide each song with a safe mooring to return to, driving the guitars forward at the same time as he holds the rhythm in check. This is most clearly evident in Eye Of The Storm.
The result is a rich tapestry of expansive and flowing music full of heavy jams
that will leave the listener wanting more. Their signature build-to-sonic-explosion style does not let fans down.
The success of Longing To Be The Mountain
allowed for extensive touring across North America and Europe. It also led to appearances at bigger gigs, like at Rockpalast and the Stoned & Dusted desert rock event in 2019. Anyone that has seen any of their live work knows that King Buffalo are simply hypnotizing
on stage. Reynolds’ bass work is reminiscent of Geddy Lee with his complex and flowing style. Donaldson brings controlled power to the drum kit, and is ready to cut loose when the drop comes. And McVay has become a true front man, comfortable with the lead voice on guitar and the microphone.
Their next release, Dead Star,
dropped in 2020 and generated all kinds of buzz in the Stoner Rock scene. Of course, the tour planned to support it got axed when the entire world went into lockdown.
But the (short album? EP?) is simply fantastic. Red Star Pt. 1 & 2
continues their long form examination and has everything you’d expect from them. Echo of A Waning Star
is a lament of just over 3 minutes that is near-perfect. Ecliptic
sounds like the soundtrack to a John Carpenter movie and is a complete jam with serious cool 1980’s vibes. Dead Star,
the title track, is almost Radiohead-esque in its evocative and regretful take on death and decay.
But the standout track has to be Eta Carinae,
which has one of the greatest musical drops and turn-arounds you will ever hear. The entire song pivots
just past four minutes in and becomes a 70’s anthem worthy of Led Zeppelin or Black Sabbath. If you listen to no other tune here today, you have to check it out. It will absolutely get stuck in your head.
The band dropped their first live record, Live At Freak Valley,
in 2020. This is a really nice retrospective/greatest hits album kinda deal. What stands out is just how fucking tight
the band is live. With some bands, live versions veer wildly
from the recorded ones - and not at all in a good way. This record is the opposite. You can clearly hear on Orion
that KB are just that good live.
In the wake of the global pandemic, King Buffalo decided to musically capture the moment in time. They decided to release a trifecta of albums. 2021 saw them drop The Burden of Restlessness
and then Acheron.
The third record in this trio is 2022’s Regenerator.
It is really important to consider all three records in this Triptych at the same time, for they are a sonic cycle. TBOR
is a descent into despondency. Acheron
is about hitting rock bottom,
and being in Hell. Regenerator
is about finding a way to claw yourself back into the light.
Each album stands on its own, but together they form a sweeping epic journey that we can all relate to. TBOR
is an album where the protagonist gradually loses the will to exist.
There is a cry of deep frustration in Burning,
a not-so-subtle reference to a plague in Locusts,
a study in being confined indoors in Silverfish,
and an outright statement that our hero is sinking in Loam.
In fact, the lyrics tell us: “Still I press my face into the ground/I’m waiting for the hammer to fall.” It is not a happy album.
Just when you think things have to get better, we get the 4-track jam of Acheron.
In this record, our hero has fallen to his lowest point. He has descended to Hell.
The title track - the first one on the album - makes this clear, when it says: “Waking up under the ground/Silver asleep on my tongue.”
Just in case you didn’t get the classic reference, Acheron is the river one must cross in Greek mythology to get to the underworld. Souls going to Hell had coins placed in their mouth to pay Charon, the ferryman,
to take them across the river to Hades. So our hero did sink into the Loam in the last album, and finds himself in Hell. This theme is reinforced in Zephyr,
who was the Greek God of the West Wind, and Shadows,
which references what the Greeks used to call dead spirits - Shades. And just in case you had any doubt, the final track on the album is Cerberus,
named after the three-headed dog that guards the gates of Hades.
What is even cooler about Acheron
is how it was recorded. Instead of a studio, they recorded the album underground in a cave.
Now that is commitment.
The final album in this cycle is 2022’s Regenerator.
While the first two records were about descent, despondency, and hitting rock bottom,
this record is about regaining hope and optimism, and finding a way to come back.
We hear this clearly in the lyrics of the record’s final track, Firmament,
which says: “Out of the loam I rise, embraced by the etheThe river below relieves my hands of silver” - clearly calling back to the tracks Loam
And in case you didn’t know, in Greek mythology the Firmament means the Sky or the Heavens.
Our hero has left Hell behind, and ascended into Heaven.
References to positive mythology are all over this album, from the album art to the tracks Mercury
It is a total jam.
But the best song on the album might just be Mammoth.
If you don’t like the guitar on this song, you and I can’t be friends.
I got a chance to see KB perform last year when they toured with Uncle Acid and the Deadbeats. They are fucking tight.
They were the opening act, but were the absolute highlight of the show. I want everyone to hear this band because they really are something special.
Go check them out. Links to QOTSA
We know that QotSA front man Josh Homme and Kyuss invented Stoner Rock in the 1990’s. They were the genre-defining band. King Buffalo (and other bands like All Them Witches) have picked up this proverbial torch and are now bringing the sound to the next generation of fans. King Buffalo drummer Scott Donaldson is known to be a huge QotSA fan. Perhaps he saw them live when they played in Rochester
in 2014 in support of ...Like Clockwork.
It is also sometimes easy to forget that Josh was not the only architect of the low desert sound. Original Kyuss Drummer and co-founder Brant Bjork wrote many Kyuss tunes and continues to be a leader in the music scene today. King Buffalo have played with Bjork at festivals three times: Freak Valley Festival, Black Deer Festival and the aforementioned Stoned & Dusted. There is also a planned collaborative project between Bjork and King Buffalo that may be coming our way soon.
The future is bright,
my friends. Their Music Providence Eye In Dim Light Pocket Full of Knife King Buffalo songs from the Split EP with Lé Betre Kerosene
-- live in 2016 Drinking From The River Rising Orion - entire album on Genesee Live RepeateCenturion
-- Recorded Live in the Quarantine Sessions put out by the band Live at Rockpalast in 2019
- includes songs from LTBTM Longing To Be The Mountain - Quarantine Sessions Quickening
-- everything is cool until the snake head pops out. Red Star Pt. 2
-- the official video Ecliptic Eta Carinae Dead Star - Full Album Silverfish The Knocks Loam Hours Acheron Shadows Mammoth Firmament Show Them Some Love /KingBuffalo
- C’mon, everyone -- there are just over 500 subscribers. Those are rookie numbers.
You gotta pump those numbers up. Previous Posts Tool Alice in Chains King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard Rage Against The Machine Soundgarden Run the Jewels Royal Blood Arctic Monkeys Ty Segall Eagles of Death Metal Them Crooked Vultures Led Zeppelin Greta Van Fleet Ten Commandos Screaming Trees Sound City Players Iggy Pop Mastodon The Strokes Radiohead All Them Witches ZZ Top
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2023.06.09 11:05 Straight_Attorney_56 Top Three Tractor Models for Your Next Farming Purchase
If you intend to purchase a new tractor for your farm, you might be confused by the many choices available. How do you select the best tractor for your requirements and budget? To assist you in picking the right tractor, we have listed the top three models that offer outstanding performance, features, and value. These tractors are Eicher 380 4WD Prima G3, John Deere 5105 and Massey Ferguson 241 DI DYNATRACK. Below we have described each model with its specifications and prices.
Featuring- Eicher, John Deere and Massey Ferguson Brand
Eicher 380 4WD Prima G3-
The Eicher 380 4WD Prima G3 tractor is a powerful 40 HP model designed for demanding agricultural tasks. It's strong engine and 4-wheel drive system offers excellent performance and traction on various terrains. Priced at ₹ 7.90 - 8.20 lakhs, this tractor model provides farmers with a cost-effective solution for their farming needs, combining durability and affordability. Whether it's ploughing fields, hauling heavy loads, or performing other farm operations, the Eicher Prima G3 Tractor
is a dependable choice for enhancing productivity on the farm.
John Deere 5105-
The John Deere 5105 tractor is a versatile model that meets the needs of modern farmers. It's a 40-horsepower engine, and advanced features offer excellent performance and efficiency in various agricultural tasks. Priced at Rs. 6.55 lakhs - Rs. 7.10 lakhs, this tractor provides farmers a reliable and cost-effective solution for their farming operations. From ploughing and tilling to transporting heavy loads, the John Deere tractors
deliver power, durability, and versatility to maximize productivity on the field.
Massey Ferguson 241 DI DYNATRACK-
The Massey Ferguson 241 DI DYNATRACK is a powerful tractor for tackling the toughest agricultural tasks. With a 42 horsepower engine and advanced features like manual/ power steering and multi-disc oil-immersed brakes, it offers exceptional performance and control. Priced at Rs. 7.44 lakhs - Rs. 7.84 lakhs, this tractor provides farmers with a reliable and cost-effective solution for their farming needs. This Massey DYNATRACK tractor
ensures smooth and efficient operations, making it a valuable asset for farmers looking to boost their productivity.
These are the top three tractor models for your next farming purchase. They can help you boost your farming productivity and profitability. You can compare their prices and features online and pick the tractor model that matches your requirements.
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2023.06.09 08:33 Seema-Jain Popular Tractor Implements Brands in India:
In modern agriculture, tractor implements
are essential because they let farmers complete a variety of farming tasks quickly and effectively. There are various well-known brands that provide top-notch tractor implements in India. These companies offer a wide selection of attachments and accessories made to meet the various requirements of Indian farmers. We shall examine some of the well-known tractors implements brands in India in this post, including Mahindra Tractor Implements, Agristar Implements, Tafe Implements, John Deere Implements, and Shaktiman Implements. 1. Shaktiman Implements:
A well-known company called Shaktiman Implements provides a broad selection of agricultural attachments. Shaktiman Implements has built a solid name among Indian farmers by putting a strong focus on quality and innovation. They offer cultivators, harrows, seeders, ploughs, rotavators, and other products. Shaktiman Tools have been recognised for their dependability, effectiveness, and user-friendly design. Shaktiman Implements are trusted by farmers to efficiently complete operations like tilling, planting, plough, and crop management. 2. Tafe Implements:
One of the top tractor producers in India, Tafe, also provides a selection of premium tractor implements. Tafe
Implements offer the best performance and compatibility since they are made to work effortlessly with Tafe tractors. The company sells a wide range of tools, such as cultivators, rotary tillers, loaders, backhoes, and more. Tafe Implements are known for their durable design, fine engineering, and solid construction. Farmers all throughout the country rely on them for their adaptability and durability in a range of farming applications. 3. John Deere Implements:
In India, a variety of tractor
implements are also available from John Deere, a well-known name in the agricultural machinery industry. Implements made by John Deere are known for their exceptional performance, advanced features, and modern technology. The company offers a wide variety of attachments, such as loaders, seeders, sprayers, plows, and harrows. Indian farmers are able to boost their productivity and efficiency on the farm by using John Deere Implements, which were manufactured specifically to match their demands. 4. Mahindra Tractor Implements:
India's leading tractor manufacturer, Mahindra, has increased the variety of tractor implements available through its product line. Mahindra Tractor Implements have a reputation for being reliable, powerful, and efficient. The company offers a wide range of accessories, such as loaders, backhoes, post-hole diggers, cultivators, and more. In order to ensure optimal compatibility and effective operation, Mahindra Tractor Implements are designed to work effortlessly with Mahindra tractors
. Farmers rely on Mahindra Implements to do multiple agricultural jobs quickly and accurately. 5. Agristar Implements:
Agristar is an established company that produces excellent tractor implements. Agristar Implements are known for their durable build, efficient design, and reasonable price. Ploughs, harrows, cultivators, seed drills, and other attachments are just a few of the many options available under this brand. In addition, to meet the various needs of Indian farmers, Agristar Implements is built to withstand the challenges of difficult farming conditions. Agristar Implements is a well-liked option among farmers looking for high-quality implements within their price range because of their dependable performance and cheap pricing. Conclusion:
Tractor implements are indispensable tools that contribute significantly to enhancing agricultural productivity in India. The popularity of various tractor implements brands is a testament to their commitment to quality, innovation, and meeting the diverse needs of Indian farmers. Shaktiman Implements, Tafe Implements, John Deere Implements, Mahindra Tractor Implements, and Agristar Implements are renowned brands trusted by farmers across the country. With their wide range of attachments and accessories, these brands enable farmers to efficiently perform tasks such as tilling, seeding, plowing, and more. Whether it's the durability of Shaktiman Implements, compatibility of Tafe Implements, advanced technology of John Deere Implements, reliability of Mahindra Tractor Implements, or affordability of Agristar Implements, these brands continue to play a vital role in driving agricultural progress in India.
For more additional information about Rotavator
, Electric Tractor, and Harvester visit Khetigaadi.com
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2023.06.09 03:13 usbspeaker John Deere™ XUV590E, XUV590M and XUV590M S4 Gator™ utility vehicles
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2023.06.09 01:17 Recallinsider John Deere Recalls XUV590 Gator Utility Vehicles
2023.06.09 01:17 Recallinsider John Deere Recalls XUV590 Gator Utility Vehicles
2023.06.09 00:51 sandwich_with_a_hat i am sorry
NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==
- What do you think he makes? BARRY:
- Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry:
- Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE:
- Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM:
What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:
- It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA:
- Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN:
- You all right, ma'am? VANESSA:
- Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY:
- Thanks! VANESSA:
- Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
: Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM:
- Sounds amazing. BARRY:
- It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:
- We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY:
- What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD:
- You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) :
- Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO:
MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:
- And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
: We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)
KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:
- Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA:
- Oh, Ken! BARRY:
- Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA:
I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)
- You got the tweezers? LAWYER:
- Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY:
- Good friends? BARRY:
- Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,
: doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY:
- Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin)
- So those aren't your real parents! JANET:
- Oh, Barry... BARRY:
- Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA:
- Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM:
- I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:
- No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD:
- Who's that? BARRY:
- Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines.
VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:
- Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! :
- Thinking bee!
- Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.
submitted by sandwich_with_a_hat
to bees [link] [comments]
2023.06.08 20:05 Soul_Mirror_ JW4 Blu-ray review
| || |blu-ray.com submitted by Soul_Mirror_ to JohnWick [link] [comments]
has already reviewed the JW4 physical editions (both 4K and standard Blu-ray).
It looks like these are top-notch editions from a technical viewpoint, with both picture and audio quality receiving great praise.
They seem a bit less impressed by the special features, on which they provide some additional details in terms of duration and contents:
- Chad and Keanu: Through Wick and Thin (HD; 5:45) is an overview of the collaboration between the film's producedirector and star.
- Train Like a Killer (HD; 5:55) looks at some of the fight choreography and training regimens.
- Making a Killing (HD; 6:25) is kind of a grabbag dealing with this fourth installment's production design, location work and cinematography.
- The Psychology of a Killer (HD; 4:32) talks about the moral shades of gray most of these characters exude.
- The Blind Leading the Fight (HD; 9:18) focuses on Donnie Yen.
- Suit Up / Shoot Up (HD; 5:41) looks at more production elements like costumes.
- Packing a Punch (HD; 4:41) highlights some of the action set pieces.
- One Killer Shot (HD; 3:09) is a fun deconstructions of one especially notable sequence [the dragon breath sequence, as per previous info].
- Killing at the Speed of Traffic (HD; 10:10) looks at another great sequence at the Arc de Triomphe.
- A Shot in the Dark (HD; 5:43) features Chad Stahelski and others talking about shooting at night.
- In Honor of the Dead (HD; 5:23) pays homage to some of the influences in the films.
- Theatrical Trailer 1 (HD; 1:13)
- Theatrical Trailer 2 (HD; 2:37)
- The Continental - First Look (HD; 3:10) is a quasi-trailer for the upcoming series.
I had previously posted the official description for each featurette here
There's also a peek at the Main Screen: https://preview.redd.it/f34x86pk3u4b1.jpg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53a48018a1b3b437c534e0d1f8c10c3f44b9c662
2023.06.08 18:03 JoshAsdvgi The Pursuing Head
| || | submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments]
The Pursuing Head
A poor Indian who had a wife and two children lived in the greatest indigence on roots and berries.
This man had a dream in which he heard a voice command him to procure a large spider-web, which he was to hang on the trail of the animals where they passed through the forest, by which means he would obtain plenty of food.
This he did, and on returning to the place in which he had hung the web he found deer and rabbits entangled in its magical meshes.
These he killed for food, for which he was now never at a loss.
Returning with his game on his shoulders one morning, he discovered his wife perfuming herself with sweet pine, which she burned over the fire.
He suspected that she was thus making herself attractive for the benefit of some one else, but, preserving silence, he told her that on the following day he would set his spider-web at a greater distance, as the game in the neighbouring forest was beginning to know the trap too well.
Accordingly he went farther afield, and caught a deer, which he cut up, carrying part of its meat back with him to his lodge.
He told his wife where the remainder of the carcass was to be found, and asked her to go and fetch it.
His wife, however, was not without her own suspicions, and, concluding that she was being watched by her husband, she halted at the top of the nearest hill and looked back to see if he was following her.
But he was sitting where she had left him, so she proceeded on her way.
When she was quite out of sight the Indian himself climbed the hill, and, seeing that she was not in the vicinity, returned to the camp.
He inquired of his children where their mother went to gather firewood, and they pointed to a large patch of dead timber.
Proceeding to the clump of leafless trees, the man instituted a thorough search, and after a while discovered a den of rattlesnakes.
Now it was one of these reptiles with which his wife was in love, so the Indian in his wrath gathered fragments of dry wood and set the whole plantation in a blaze.
Then he returned to his lodge and told his children what he had done, at the same time warning them that their mother would be very wrathful, and would probably attempt to kill them all.
He further said that he would wait for her return, but that they had better run away, and that he would provide them with three things which they would find of use.
He then handed to the children a stick, a stone, and a bunch of moss, which they were to throw behind them should their mother pursue them.
The children at once ran away, and their father hung the spider-web over the door of the lodge.
Meanwhile the woman had seen the blaze made by the dry timber-patch from a considerable distance, and in great anger turned and ran back to the lodge.
Attempting to enter it, she was at once entangled in the meshes of the spider-web.
She struggled violently, however, and succeeded in getting her head through the opening, whereupon her husband severed it from her shoulders with his stone axe.
He then ran out of the lodge and down the valley, hotly pursued by the woman's body, while her head rolled along the ground in chase of the children.
The latter soon descried the grisly object rolling along in their tracks at a great speed, and one of them quickly threw the stick behind him as he had been told to do.
Instantly a dense forest sprang up in their rear, which for a space retarded their horrible pursuer.
The children made considerable headway, but once more the severed head made its appearance, gnashing its teeth in a frenzy of rage and rolling its eyes horribly, while it shrieked out threats which caused the children's blood to turn to water.
Then another of the boys threw the stone which he had been given behind him, and instantly a great mountain sprang up which occupied the land from sea to sea, so that the progress of the head was quite barred.
It could perceive no means of overcoming this immense barrier, until it encountered two rams feeding, which it asked to make a way for it through the mountain, telling them that if they would do so it would marry the chief of the sheep.
The rams made a valiant effort to meet this request, and again and again fiercely rushed at the mountain, till their horns were split and broken and they could butt no longer.
The head, growing impatient, called upon a colony of ants which dwelt in the neighbourhood to tunnel a passage through the obstacle, and offered, if they were successful, to marry the chief ant as a recompense for their labours.
The insects at once took up the task, and toiled incessantly until they had made a tunnel through which the head could roll.
The children were still running, but felt that the head had not abandoned pursuit.
At last, after a long interval, they observed it rolling after them, evidently as fresh as ever. The child who had the bunch of moss now wet it and wrung out the water over their trail, and immediately an immense strait separated them from the land where they had been but a moment before.
The head, unable to stop, fell into this great water and was drowned.
The children, seeing that their danger was past, made a raft and sailed back to the land from which they had come.
Arrived there, they journeyed eastward through many countries, peopled by many different tribes of Indians, in order to reach their own territory.
When they arrived there they found it occupied by tribes unknown to them, so they resolved to separate, one going north and the other south.
One of them was shrewd and clever, and the other simple and ingenious.
The shrewd boy is he who made the white people and instructed them in their arts.
The other, the simple boy, made the Blackfeet, but, being very stupid, was unable to teach them anything.
He it was who was called Nápi.
As for the mother's body, it continued to chase her husband, and is still following him, for she is the Moon and he is the Sun.
If she succeeds in catching him she will slay him, and night will reign for evermore, but as long as he is able to evade her day and night will continue to follow one another.
2023.06.08 17:47 hodsct59 Belmont Friday June 9 Choices
These are the horses and races that I will use while seeking my next decent score at Belmont Park on Friday. if the races are not cancelled. As I have mentioned many times, horse racing is a hard game to master but usually because no strategy is developed regarding what tends to repeat itself often, just with different horses from time-to-time and a money management system that helps one save money until they find a race, they are able to take advantage of. My strategy concerning betting has always been "bet a little to win a lot" but refers to taking risks most will not even think of trying. Good Luck to all.
Race 2: Allowance --- Purse $95,000 --- 3 YOs & Up N/W 1x Or N/W 2 Lifetime --- 6 Furlong Turf:
1)Bold Journey (6-5) won 3rd start back against state bred & O/C foes, so eligibility to race here is still intact. Next out he was overmatched against G1 foes and last start, in this class and condition, he finished 2nd as he and the winner produced their best run together as they were last two away from gate. Now moves from outside post to an inside one and has two decent and useful works since that start.4x4 to Alydar, 5(C)x5(F)x5(F) to Raise A Native. He will as a coupled interest to 2) Sousa Summer and will be listed in program as 1 and 1A.
8)Fredo (8-1) broke his maiden 4 starts back while gate to wire at one mile on grass. Connections have been using the right running style but a mile on any surface is probably a little further than his best distance. 7 of his 12 lifetime starts have come at a mile or further on grass or the AWT and he has the race record to prove he struggles going that far. His sprint races have all been lightning fast early and he has been able to get a clear early lead but finds a spot that looks a little lite on early speed. Broodmare sire, Gone West, sired 2 unbeaten champion fillies in France that never raced past 7 furlongs and 2 U.S. champion colts (Came Home & Speightstown) in his career that had front running speed to burn. 5x3 to Storm Bird & Mr. Prospector.
6)Giant's Fire (15-1) broke her maiden 3 starts back while laying close but off the early pace and managed to get up late. Next two starts, jockeys tried to send him early and could not even get close to the early pace and faded to finish last in both. He cuts back to a sprint in here and jockey need to let him settle early and then pick it up as they go around the turn, which is exactly what his dam line and broodmare sire is suggesting he will be better doing. Broodmare sire, Street Cry, sired two of the world's top fillies in Zenyatta & Winx and both were master late runners. 4th dam, Aptostar, is a multiple graded stakes winning filly that blew by several top fields. 5(C)x5(C)x5(F) to Fappiano. Simply waiting to be ridden correctly and will blow up the exacta when jockey lets him run his race.
9)Carpe's Dream (15-1) is making his first start of the year. Trainer has put 8 works in him in the last two months, the first six were more or less canters around the track but last two works indicates those works was beneficial to him. Likely not ready to beat a few of these but looks like he will have a pace to run at late. 4x4 to Storm Bird.
My Risks $5 Ex Box 1-8, $1 Tri Box 1-8-9, $.30 Super Box 1-6-8-9, $.50 Super Key 8 with 1-6-9 with 1-6-9 with 1-6-9. Total Risk $26.20.
Race 3: Maiden Special Weight --- Purse $75,000 --- 3 YOs & Up New York Bred --- One Mile:
3) Woodside Warrior (30-1) has started twice and has yet to pick up his feet. However, this is a weak field on NY bred maidens, and he is likely wanting to get to the early lead and has the bloodlines to do so. Trainer is adding blinkers and he has three good works since his last start, most likely all three while wearing the hood (but does not have to be reported as equipment change until race day). He should be fast enough to get the early lead due to his grandsire, Speightstown, and his broodmare sire, Freud, an unraced full brother to Giant's Causeway, progeny also got much braver when they were able to obtain the early lead. 4(C)x5(C)x3(F) to Storm Cat, 4x5 to Mr. Prospector, 5x4 to Seattle Slew, 5x5 to Secretariat.
7) Battleoflexington (6-1) has started twice this year, the first start where he was trailing at the first call and then grind his way to a 4th place finish beaten less than 4 lengths for the win but had received his training in Florida, then shipped to Aqueduct and then asked to run within a 6-day period, a tough task for a seasoned runner much less a maiden. In his second start, he returned in 16 days after his first start with another work, the addition of lasix, and put back on grass, where he did not pick up his feet. Now gets a month to recuperate and adds three more works, two of them useful and is not getting the kitchen sink thrown at him for the first time this year. Will likely respond to the lesser confusion that he has been presented with. 5x4 to Mr. Prospector, 5x5 to Halo.
2) Refuah (3-1) broke his maiden two back but was disqualified and placed second for interference. He now has 11 placings in 14 lifetime starts and just does not seem like he was a will to win. He will likely eventually win but it is a waste of time and money trying to predict when. Therefore, I will use him underneath only. 5(C)x4(F)x4(F) to Mr. Prospector, 5x5 to Northern Dancer & Halo.
My Risks: $8 Ex Straight 3-7, $3 Tri Straight 3-7 with 3-7 with 2. Total Risk $14.00.
Race 5: Starter Allowance $50K --- Purse $65,000 --- 3 YOs & Up Which has started for $50K or less and N/W 1x --- One Mile:
5) Ice Road (6-1) has started once this year on the speed favoring dirt track, ran a even race and then change trainers after that start. New trainer gave him two more months off, then put 5 more works in him over a month period in Florida and shipped him to NY where he has not recorded a work in three weeks. Each trainer has his own method of how to get a horse ready and since he wins at 18%, I believe he might have this one better prepared than it appears. He has only two lifetime starts on dirt, a third in the mud in the 2nd leg of Canadian TC and his last start which is decent considering the track he ran on and the brief layoff. Outcross in his first 5 generations.
1)Arrebato (8-1) broke his maiden three starts back in the second start of his career by tracking the early pace, then sent for the lead nearing six furlongs and drawing away in the stretch. Tried the same tactics in his next start on a sloppy track but one that was using same tactics as him got a big jump on him when the front runner stopped and won for fun while this one could not make up any ground and lost second at the wire to the deep closer in the race. Next out, he was tried against 3 YOs stakes company but they proved to be much too tough for him at this point of his career as he finished last. Back to the company where he fits best so far with 4 stamina building works since his last start and a change to a better jockey should help. His sire, Goldencents, won 2 editions of the G1 BC Dirt Mile. Broodmare sire, Badge Of Silver, won his first three lifetime start but was knocked off the derby trail in 2003 when he came out of the La Derby with a leg injury in his first loss but returned to finish 2nd In the Cigar Mile twice & 3rd in the BC Turf Mile. 5x5 to Mr. Prospector.
3) Long Term (5-2) has started three times this year, breaking his maiden in his second start by taking the lead nearing the half mile, then open a clear led into the stretch, then managed to hold 2 late runners safe in the stretch. Next out, he attempted the same strategy, but another beat him to the punch, and he flattened out in the stretch run to finish a well beaten third. Three useful works since his last start and he should be sitting on his best race in his fourth start of the year after a 10-month break. 5x5 to Northern Dancer & Sir Ivor.
7) Thunderian (6-1) was purchased out of a sale in Feb. for $28K by current connections, was gelded and has five starts for him with one win and three thirds. His last start was his only non-placing this year, he drops a level and returns in 9 days. Likely trying to entice someone to claim the horse before he tails off his best form. 4x5 to Northern Dancer.
My Risks: $5 Ex Box 1-5, $1 Tri Box 1-3-5, $.30 Super Box 1-3-5-7, $.50 Super Key 1 with 3-5-7 with 3-5-7 with 3-5-7. Total Risk: $26.20.
Race 6: Allowance O/C $62.5K ---- Purse $100,000 --- 3 YOs & Up N/w $18K 2x or N/W 3 Lifetime or Claiming $62,500 --- 6 Furlongs:
11) High Connection (8-1) is making his first start of the year and his first start for new trainer Pletcher after being removed from Baffert's barn for the 2nd time late last year, likely because owners were expecting much more from a horse with his bloodlines and purchase price. Trainer has put a dozen works in him since he re-entered the work tab with one missed work while preparing others for derby week races and works (likely was missed on chart for due work date). However, trainer moved his next three works to 6-day intervals that should got him back on track. 4x3 to Deputy Minister.
4) High Oak (20-1) looked like he was going to develop into a nice runner but took a hard fall in last year's FOY stakes and is obviously having a hard time (or flashbacks) getting over his tragic fall. But he is showing signs of putting that behind him but needs some help from a jockey to let him run his race and not force him to get too close to the lead early, which was his style before the fall. Believes he gets that help with John V. He has three useful works since his last start and moves back to the surface where both sides of his family have the most success. 4(C)x5(C)x4(F) to Mr. Prospector, 5x5 to Secretariat. 4th dam, Leix, is 1/2 sister to Shenanigans and developed her own important line.
1)Cadazero(8-1) was purchased out of an April sale for $60K and makes his first start for new connections. Trainer is known for putting slow works into his trainees preferring to let them go much further than recorded work and follows his usual pattern with this one. However, he has 2 graded stakes wins and has to use the tag because of them but is the class of this field. 4x5 to Mr Prospector & Northern Dancer, 5x5 to Raise A Native.
2)Rotknee (3-1) has started three times this year including winning his last race in a good time, 6 days after registering a bullet work that suggested he was reaching his peak fitness. He has one work since that effort, an easy four furlongs that should set him up for another top effort and personally much prefer to see this type of work than another fast/bullet work which rarely help a horse to maintain his form and can do more harm than good. Only problem with him is he is facing a pretty salty field here and does not show facing a field this tough. 5(C)x4(F)x4(F) to Mr. Prospector.
My Risks: $5 Ex Box 4-11, $1 Tri Box 1-4-11, $.30 Super Box 1-2-4-11, $1 Super 11 with 1-2-4 with 1-2-4 with 1-2-4. Total Risk $29.20.
Race 7: Allowance --- Purse $80,000 --- 3 YOs & Up NY Bred N/W $18K 1x or N/W 2 Races Lifetime --- 7 Furlongs Turf:
8) Athenry (12-1) has one start this year which he sat mid-pack early but was out moved by eventual winner into the stretch and chased that one through the stretch while just holding onto second at the wire. He has two works since that effort, a useful work followed by a 3 furlongs blowout work 4 days before next start, likely to try to get him closer to the early pace. 4x5 to Raise A Native, 5x4 to Mr. Prospector. Also has a Secretariat crossing thru two daughters and plenty of Princequillo crossings thru his daughter, Somethingroyal, dam of Secretariat & his son Prince John (3 crosses in dam line alone).
4) Be Of Courage (8-1) has started twice this year which in first start, he did not pick up his feet to finish last and then in next start when stretched out to a mile, set the early pace until collared at the top of the stretch but continued to show good heart by battling back before being outrun to finish 3rd. Castellano, abroad for his only win to date, retakes the mount as he cuts back to 7 furlongs. One bullet 4 furlongs work since that last effort. 4x5 to Danzig, 4(C)x5(C)x5(F) to Northern Dancer, 5x5 to Mr. Prospector & Blushing Groom.
1)War Terminator (20-1) has one start this year, back in January, which he did not pick up his feet in an open bred O/C race he was probably overmatched in to begin with. Change of trainers since that effort and a move back up North to face NY bred should help. He finished 3rd in his last effort before leaving the area late last year in same class and conditions as this race and a repeat of that effort puts him in the thick of the outcome of this race. Has 5 works for this effort, the first two were leg stretching type works, followed by two good works and an easy work on grass and around the dogs should have him primed and ready. 4(C(x5(C)x5(F) to Northern Dancer, 5x4 to Fappiano.
7) Dr. Settle's Dream (12-1) will be making his first start of the year. he has eight works to prepare from this start, but last two are typical of works trainer usually gives trainees when he thinks they are ready and rarely tips his hand to indicate how fit they are. But he goes back to Alvarado, who has been his main jockey he uses for the last 5-6 years when he believes they are their fittest. He broke his maiden at first asking, then took on open bred stakes runner and finished last after setting the pace for a half mile at one mile on grass. Will likely appreciate the move back to stater bred and gets lasix for the first time. 4x5 to Mr. Prospector, 5(C)x5(C)x4(F) to Northern Dancer.
My Risks: $5 Ex Box 4-8, $1 Tri Box 1-4-8, $.30 Super Box 1-4-7-8, $1 Super Key 4 with 1-7-8 with 1-7-8 with 1-7-8. Total Risk $29.20.
Race 8: New York Stakes(G1) --- Purse $600,000 --- 4 YOs & Up F&M --- 1 1/4 Mile Turf:
5) Virginia Joy (15-1) has started twice this year, the first effort where she sat far off the pace but put in a good late kick to finish 4th. Next start, she was 3rd for most of the way in a four-horse field but managed to get up for second in an extremely slow-paced race. However, her best races have come when she gets up close to the early pace and makes her best move before others have a chance to and she gets a jockey who will give her that opportunity in here. 3x3 to Sadler's Wells, 4x4 to Kris, 5x5 to Nijinsky II & Mill Reef.
8) With The Moonlight (9-2) has started four times this year, winning her first two starts in grade 2 stakes in the U.A.E, then shipping to the U.S. and finishing 2nd in a G1 stakes and then onto England to run one of the dullest races of her career in a G2. Now back to the U.S. but with a work on grass around the dogs since arriving. Trainer is no stranger to big races and have to believe this one will fire her best effort. 5x5 to Mr. Prospector.
7) War Like Goddess (6-5) has started once this year and beat a G3 field fairly easy but these will be much tougher and cuts back to a distance she has never won at, except her maiden win against non-winners. Still, she is the one to beat but regardless, I will take that chance on beating her at her likely off odds because there are simply too many things that can go wrong, regardless of how good one is. Bet her and you will not make any money that is worth the risk. Bet against her and you will likely lose but there is a possibility to make good money by taking a small risk. 5x5 to Northern Dancer.
1)Flirting Bridge (20-1) has started once this year and won her second condition allowance race. She is bred to at least want a 1/4-mile distance, but this will be only her second start at the distance and in her first start narrowly missed becoming a G1 stakes winner. She has five more works since her first start and they should all be helpful in moving her forward. 4x3 to Danehill, 4x4 to Mr. Prospector, 4(C)x5(F)x5(F) to Northern Dancer.
My Risk: $5 Ex Box 5-8, $1 Tri Box 5-7-8, $.30 Super Box 1-5-7-8, $.50 Super Key 5 with 1-7-8 with 1-7-8 with 1-7-8. Total Risks $26.20.
Race 9: Acorn Stakes(G1) --- Purse $500,000 --- 3 YO Fillies ---- 1 1/16 Mile:
1)Dorth Vader (10-1) has started 4 times with 1 win in her 2nd start of the year as her only board finish. In her last, she was sent to pressure the early pace and it set the race up for several late runners to make a major impact. But in her third start back which was her only win, she proved her would rather rate behind the early speed and then make her move after they tire each other considerably. Believe she again gets that opportunity as there are at least two in here that looks like they want the early lead at all costs. She has changed trainers since the Ky. Oaks and he decided to give Velasquez a try to relax her as most jockey tried thus far has burnt her out. 5x5 to Storm Bird, 5(C)x5(C)x5(F)x5(F) to Mr. Prospector.
8)Accede (8-1) has started twice in her career, breaking her maiden at first asking then in her last start, raced near the rear early and tried to grind her way into contention but it proved futile was front running speed was holding well that day. Trainer has put three more good works in her since that last race and she looks as ready as any in here. Complete outcross in her first 5 generations but is loaded with Teddy & Commando bloodlines.
7)Goodgirl Badhabits (10-1) has started twice and ran away from the competition in both starts but now gets an acid test to see if she is for real. Personally, I think she will pass that test but lose this battle though not likely to fade too bad if she gets over her bad gate habits. She has three good works since her last start which is not really surprising since she has plenty of early speed. The question with her is how well she will handle the pressure she will receive in here. Both her sire, Mastery and broodmare sire, Vindication, were unbeaten in 4 lifetime starts each but both were injured and retired during their 2 YO careers (I let you figure out who trained both). However, this one's 4th dam, Imagining, is also dam of multiple year champion filly, Serena's Song, who also was an excellent producer of solid foals. 5x3 to Seattle Slew, 5x4 to Storm Bird & Weekend Surprise.
4) Occult (12-1) has started twice this year, winning a listed stake race in her first start at 9 furlongs while staying on the favorable part of track that was listed as good and then faltering in her next start on a fast track, also at 9 furlongs. A filly she faced in both these races came back and ran a fast closing second in the Ky Oaks, so you will need to take her speed figures and toss them. She is much faster than those figures suggest but now gets a chance to prove it. Actually, believe she would prefer sitting off the early pace and then making her move turning into the stretch. She has 7 works since her last start with most of them good moves which likely means she is still on the improve. 4x4 to Storm Cat, 5x5 to Halo.
My Risks: $5 Ex Box 1-8, $1 Tri Box 1-7-8, $.30 Super Box 1-4-7-8, $1 Super Key 1 with 4-7-8 with 4-7-8 with 4-7-8. Total Risk $29.20.
Race 10: Belmont Gold Cup S(G2) --- Purse $250,000 --- 4 YOs & Up --- 2 Miles Turf:
Race 11: Intercontinental Stakes(G3) --- Purse $200,000 --- 4 YOs & Up F&M --- 6 Furlongs Turf:
3) Clitheroe (15-1) has started once this year and won a first level condition allowance. She takes a big step up in class, but connections likely thought highly of her to drop north of $800K as a 2 YO purchase. She has two works since her U.S. debut win, a good work at 6 furlongs and a good work at 4 furlongs. She gets to race at the same track for 2 races in a row after switching tracks every start through her first 9 tries. 4(C)x5(C)x4(F) to Nureyev, 5(C)x4(F)x5(F) to Northern Dancer.
2) Sarah Harper (6-1) has started 3 times this year and has finished 3rd in two of those starts. However, her current form cycle started back in August of last year and she now has seven starts without a win but a second and 4 thirds. Her last start was her 2nd lifetime start on grass and she ran into a filly named Caravel both times. Caravel upset the boys in the BC Turf Sprint last year at 40-1 in gate to wire fashion. In Sarah Harper's first six starts of her career, she set quarter fractions of 21 4/5 seconds or faster, but those have been missing since she has returned. Why? It seems to me her trainer has been trying to get her to rate and it is not working as plan. Now it's time to go back to the catch me if you can type game. One good work since her last start. Can wire this field with a good break. 4x5 to Danzig.
7) Bubble Rock (5-2) has started twice this year which she finished 2nd in her first start in a first condition allowance, then return in a listed stakes race that is often the springboard race for sprint grass fillies to bigger and better races and won. Has 2 good works on grass around the dogs since that effort and a repeat performance would not be a surprise. 4x5 to Mr. Prospector, 4(C)x5(F)x5(F) to Northern Dancer.
1)Poppy Flower (9-2) has started twice this year with her first start being against O/C foes where she finished 3rd in a five-horse field that was nothing more than an out to help her get fitter, then a listed stakes where she finished second to the likely favorite in here. She has three works since her last start, the first work was a maintenance breeze followed by 2 good works that likely has her ready to give a top effort again. 5(C)x5(C)x 5(F) to Northern Dancer.
My Risks: $5 Ex Box 2-3, $1 Tri Box 2-3-7, $.30 Super Box 1-2-3-7, $1 Super Key 2 with 1-3-7 with 1-3-7 with 1-3-7. Total Risk $29.20.
7th Race Late P5: 1,4 with 5,8 with 1,8 with 2,11 with 1,2. Total Risk $16.00. Total Risk All Bets: $225.40.
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2023.06.08 09:39 Seema-Jain The Ace DI 9000: India's Most Powerful ACE Tractor
Exploring the ACE DI 9000 4WD, India's most powerful ACE tractor
designed for exceptional performance in the field. With its impressive 88 HP engine, advanced features, and robust build, this tractor model offers farmers the perfect blend of power, efficiency, and reliability. From its attractive design to its versatile capabilities, the ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor is a trusted companion for agricultural operations. ACE DI 9000 4WD: Power and Performance at Its Best
The ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor
model stands out as one of the most powerful and efficient offerings from ACE tractor manufacturers in India. With its classic and attractive design, this tractor model is sure to catch the attention of farmers looking for a reliable and high-performing machine. Let's delve into the detailed information and features of the ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor model. Engine Capacity and Performance
Equipped with a robust engine, the ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor boasts an impressive 88 HP and 4 cylinders. This engine capacity ensures excellent power delivery and fuel efficiency, allowing farmers to achieve optimal performance in the field. With its powerful engine, the DI 9000 4WD tractor model offers reliable and consistent performance, making it a preferred choice for various agricultural applications. Features for Enhanced Productivity
The ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor model comes with a range of features designed to enhance productivity and ease of use. It is equipped with a dual-clutch system that enables smooth gear shifting, allowing farmers to operate the tractor with ease. The 12 Forward + 12 Reverse gearboxes provide versatility and flexibility for different farming tasks. With a superb forward speed, farmers can efficiently cover large areas of land in less time.
To ensure safety and control, the ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor model is manufactured with oil-immersed disc brakes, providing reliable stopping power even in challenging terrains. The smooth manual steering type enables precise maneuverability, making it easier for farmers to navigate the tractor in various farming conditions. Impressive Specifications
The ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor model boasts impressive specifications that contribute to its exceptional performance. It has a 65-liter fuel tank capacity, allowing farmers to operate the tractor for extended hours without frequent refueling. With a strong lifting capacity of 2500 Kg, the DI 9000 4WD tractor model can effortlessly handle heavy implements and loads, making it suitable for a wide range of agricultural tasks.
The tractor's transmission type is a synchro shuttle, ensuring smooth and precise gear shifting. It is equipped with a dual-clutch for efficient power transmission. The turbocharged engine with an intercooler provides optimal cooling and enhanced performance. The dry air cleaner with a clogging sensor ensures the engine remains protected from dust and debris, contributing to its longevity.
The ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor model offers a forward speed of 1.7 kmph at 2200 RPM, enabling efficient operations in the field. With a total weight of 2976 Kg, it provides stability and durability. The wheelbase of 2235 mm and an overall length of 4020 mm offer excellent maneuverability in different farming conditions. The tractor's ground clearance of 420 mm allows it to navigate uneven terrains with ease. Price and Availability
The ACE DI 9000 4WD model tractor price
is ranging from 15.60 to 15.75 Lac. It offers excellent value for money considering its powerful performance, advanced features, and durable build quality. Farmers can easily find this model in ACE tractor showrooms and authorized dealerships. Conclusion:
In conclusion, the ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor model is a reliable and powerful machine that combines performance, efficiency, and durability. With its attractive design and advanced features, it provides farmers with the necessary tools to enhance productivity and achieve optimal results in their agricultural operations. Whether it's plowing, tilling, or hauling, the ACE DI 9000 4WD tractor is a trusted companion that ensures efficient and reliable performance in the field. For more additional information about Mahindra Tractors, John Deere, and Electric Tractor Visit Khetigaadi.com
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2023.06.08 09:31 SurajSigh Top Tractor Companies and Prices in India 2023 – KhetiGaadi
Top Tractor Companies and Prices in India 2023 – KhetiGaadi
In India, the agriculture sector plays a crucial role, and tractors are essential machines for farmers. In Recent years have witnessed the introduction of new tractors with advanced features. These tractors are equipped with powerful engines that offer higher horsepower, enabling efficient farm operations. Many new tractors come with modern technologies such as GPS navigation systems, precision farming capabilities, and digital interfaces. They offer improved fuel efficiency and better maneuverability, making them suitable for various terrains. Additionally, these tractors often have ergonomic designs, comfortable cabins, and enhanced safety features. The introduction of new tractors in India aims to enhance productivity, reduce labour, and improve the overall efficiency of agricultural practices.
India, being an agricultural country, has a vast and thriving market for agricultural products and machinery. There are several renowned brands in India that offer a diverse range of tractors at affordable prices, equipped with cutting-edge technology. Let's know the top tractor companies and tractor price
in India in 2023. Top 2 Tractor Brands in India with Price Mahindra & Mahindra Tractors Company
This is one of the biggest and most well-known tractor
brand not just in India but worldwide. The company provides an extensive range of tractors and other agricultural machinery, including 35+ different tractor types. The company provides the latest farming implements using advanced technology and research. Mahindra & Mahindra is well renowned for producing sturdy, long-lasting tractors. Mahindra & Mahindra is present:
Since 1964 businesses have been providing farmers with advanced agricultural equipment and tools. Prices of Mahindra tractors range Mahindra tractors
are affordable, with prices ranging from INR 2.5 lakh to INR 12.50 lakh.
The company is renowned for offering the highest-mileage tractors in India. Some of Mahindra & Mahindra's most popular tractor models are the ones listed below:
John Deere India Private Limited
- Mahindra 575
- Mahindra 585
- Mahindra 475
- Mahindra 265 etc.
This tractor and farming equipment business is based in the United States, with a manufacturing facility in India that opened in 1998. They have a large selection of 35+ tractors in addition to other items including gardening tools, farming tools, etc. John Deere is present
The company has been manufacturing high-tech agricultural equipment and tools in India since 1998. US-based beginnings date back to 1837. Price range of John Deere Tractors: John Deere tractors
price range is from INR 4.80 lakh to INR 29 lakh. Top tractors from this brand include; Conclusion
The agriculture sector in India heavily relies on tractors for efficient farm operations, and recent years have witnessed the introduction of advanced tractors with powerful engines and modern technologies. Mahindra & Mahindra is one of the leading tractor brands in India, offering a wide range of tractors known for their durability and affordability. Their tractors are equipped with cutting-edge features and come at prices ranging from INR 2.5 lakh to INR 12.50 lakh. John Deere India Private Limited, with its US-based origins, also holds a prominent position in the Indian tractor market. Their tractors are known for their technological advancements and fall within the price range of INR 4.80 lakh to INR 29 lakh. These top tractor brands play a crucial role in enhancing productivity, reducing labor, and improving the overall efficiency of agricultural practices in India.
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2023.06.08 08:05 Straight_Attorney_56 Top 2 John Deere Tractors To Boost Your Farming Productivity
John Deere tractors are among the best in the world, renowned for their excellence, efficiency, and creativity. They cater to the varied requirements of farmers across different crops, landscapes, and weather conditions. This micro-blog will look at two of the most popular models from the John Deere Power Pro series
that can help you boost your farming productivity and profitability.
Featuring: Models from John Deere Power Pro Series
John Deere 5039D PowerPro-
The John Deere 5039D PowerPro tractor is a powerful machine designed for various agricultural applications. It has a 3-cylinder, 41 HP engine and a lifting capacity of 1600 kg that helps the tractor easily manage heavy loads. The tractor features advanced technology and ergonomic design, ensuring comfortable operation and enhanced productivity. The John Deere Tractor price
ranges between Rs. 6.55 lakhs - Rs. 7.10 lakhs, making it an affordable choice for farmers looking for reliability and performance in their farming operations.
John Deere 5042D PowerPro-
The John Deere 5042D PowerPro tractor is an efficient model that meets the needs of modern farmers. It has a 3-cylinder, 44-horsepower engine that provides desirable performance and fuel economy. With a lifting capacity of 1600 kg, it can easily manage various farming activities. The tractor features advanced technology and user-friendly controls, ensuring smooth operation and enhanced productivity. Priced at Rs. 6.85 lakhs - Rs. 7.56 lakhs, this John Deere tractor
offers great value for money and is suitable for large-scale farming.
In conclusion, the John Deere 5042D PowerPro and the John Deere 5039D PowerPro tractors are excellent choices for farmers seeking to enhance their productivity with reliable performance, advanced features, and competitive pricing.
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2023.06.08 02:41 lechatheureux The Tonpa Kingdoms Part 3 (The Kingdoms of Tsaparang, Taishigang and Khotesh)
Please check part 1 and 2 for context. The Tonpa Kingdoms Part 1 (Overview and The Gods) : worldbuilding (reddit.com) The Tonpa Kingdoms Part 2 (The Kingdoms of Jangshun and Monyul) : worldbuilding (reddit.com) Tsaparang
Tsaparang is a Kingdom to the east of the other Tonpa Kingdoms, it is marked by thick jungles and winding rivers, a small number of mountains dot the landscape to the west, on the border with Jangshun and Monyul.
The jungles of Tsaparang are known for their dense vegetation and towering trees, with rivers that cut through the landscape and create a network of waterways. The jungle clearings are dotted with small villages, where the people of Tsaparang live and work in harmony with nature.
The people of Tsaparang have learned to live with the challenges of the jungle environment, including the risk of flooding during the rainy season and the dangers posed by wild animals. Despite these challenges, the jungle provides a wealth of resources for the people, including medicinal plants, exotic fruits, and valuable timber. The villagers have developed their own unique way of life, with a deep respect for the natural world and a strong sense of community. They work together to maintain their homes and farms, and to protect the jungle from outsiders who might seek to exploit its resources.
The kingdom of Tsaparang was founded by a legendary warrior king named Raja Dhananj, who converted to Tonpa and united several smaller kingdoms in the area left over from the Indraprastha Empire under his rule, he named it after a fortress city on the border of Monyul that was essential to his victory, he eventually built a grand capital city on the banks of the Brahmaputra River, which he named after himself – Dhananjpur.
The city is a bustling center of trade and commerce, and soon became known throughout the region for its wealth and prosperity. Over time, Dhananjpur grew into a magnificent city, with grand palaces, beautiful temples, and bustling markets, the most famous of which is the floating markets called Jalbazaar.
Jalbazaar is situated on the banks of the Brahmaputra River, which flows through the heart of the district. The district is famous for its bustling waterways, where vendors sell their wares from boats and barges that are moored along the riverbank. The floating markets of Jalbazaar are a riot of color and activity, with vendors hawking their wares to eager customers. The markets sell everything from fresh produce and seafood to handicrafts and textiles. The markets are busiest in the early morning, when fishermen bring in their catch from the river and vendors begin setting up their stalls. The air is filled with the smells of spices, cooking food, and fresh flowers, creating a heady atmosphere that is unique to Jalbazaar. Visitors to the floating markets can sample a wide variety of local delicacies, including steaming bowls of spicy fish curry, crispy fritters made from lentils and vegetables, and sweet desserts made from coconut and mango.
To the west of Dannajpur lies the village of Pashupati, the village sits on the edge of a dense jungle, its thatched-roof houses built on stilts to protect them from flooding during the monsoon season. At the center of the village is an ancient temple dedicated to the Dharmist God Pashupati, said to have been built by a powerful Thakur long ago. However, the temple has fallen into disrepair over the centuries, and now it is overrun with large cats, both tame and wild. The villagers believe that the cats are the guardians of the temple, and they feed and care for them as best they can. Some of the cats are even considered sacred, and are allowed to roam freely throughout the village. Despite the presence of the cats and the fact that the villagers abandoned Dharmism for Tonpa over a hundred years ago, the temple is still an important place of for the villagers, the temple's crumbling walls are adorned with faded murals depicting scenes from ancient legends and there is a sense of mystery and magic that pervades the place. Outsiders aren't rare in the village as it sits along an important road between two cities, but the villagers are wary of strangers who do not respect the cats, the temple or their ancient ways. However, they are hospitable and generous to those who show the cats respect and kindness.
The second most populous city in Tsaparang is called Serindia, it is nestled in the heart of a lush green valley, surrounded by towering cliffs on all sides, this small community has long been known for its bustling markets and vibrant culture. At the center of town, stands a magnificent castle, home to the ruling family of Serindia. Built from the finest stone and marble, the castle boasts towering walls and a grand hall where the noble lords and ladies of the land convene to discuss matters of great importance. But it's not just the castle that makes Serindia special. Just outside of town lies a sprawling grove of wild mango trees, known throughout the region for their delicious, juicy fruit. Every year, travelers from far and wide come to Serindia to sample the famous mangoes and to attend the lively festivals that celebrate the town's bountiful harvest.
The Company of the Wind have a large office in Serendia as every year people request them to deliver these magnificent mangoes so often.
As you wander the winding streets of Serindia, you'll encounter a diverse array of merchants and craftsmen, each offering unique wares and trades. You might stop by the blacksmith's shop to watch as he expertly hammers out a new sword, or perhaps you'll visit the town's resident healer, who is renowned for her ability to cure all manner of ailments.
The kingdom of Tsaparang is renowned for its skilled craftsmen and artisans, who create beautiful textiles, intricate jewelry, and exquisite pottery. The kingdom is also famous for its fine cuisine, which blends the flavors of local spices with influences from neighboring regions. Tsaparang has been ruled by a succession of wise and just kings and queens, who are respected and loved by their subjects. The royal palace is a grand structure, with beautiful gardens and courtyards, and is home to a vast library that contained works of literature and philosophy from throughout the world. The kingdom of Tsaparang is also known for its military might, and its armies are feared by neighboring kingdoms. However, the rulers of Tsaparang prefer diplomacy and trade over war, and are respected for their ability to negotiate peaceful solutions to disputes, the most famous army regiment of the Kingdom is called The Jungle Snakes.
The Jungle Snakes is a feared and respected regiment of soldiers who are known for their unique and deadly combination of a large tower shield and a short spear, this is meant to emulate a snake striking from the foliage of the jungle while the large shield allows the user to strike from safety. The soldiers of the Jungle Snakes are expert fighters, they train in their own unique martial art which requires them to train in the use of whip-swords, a sword made with a flexible whip like blade, although relatively useless in a large scale battle these swords are deadly in one-on-one fights and it is believed training with them develops agility and hand eye coordination. The Jungle Snakes is made up of elite soldiers who are chosen for their physical strength, agility, and quick reflexes, they are fiercely loyal to their kingdom and their commanders, and are known for their bravery and determination in battle. The Jungle Snakes are key component of the Tsaparang army, and are often called upon to guard royalty in battle. Their unique weapon and fighting style make them a formidable opponent, and they are feared and respected by enemies and allies alike. Tashigang
Nestled deep within a treacherous and barely hospitable mountain range lies the kingdom of Taishigang, protected by rugged terrain and guarded by fiercely loyal soldiers. The people of this kingdom are rugged and tough, accustomed to the harsh conditions of their environment and deeply connected to the land that sustains them.
The tallest mountain in the known world is nestled within its borders, it is a revered holy site believed to be the last place on Earth the physical forms of the Three Gods were seen.
Taishigang is named after the two main ethnic groups that reside in the area, the Taishi and the Gangparan, occupying the north-west and the south-east respectively, the Taishi are said to be early cousins of the Jangshun people who migrated into the area hundreds of years before and the Gangparan are a group of people who escaped from the fall of the Indraprastha empire by migrating to the mountains. The kingdom is ruled by a council of clan leaders, with one among them being High Chief and first among equals, these leaders are chosen by their clans for their strength, cunning, and wisdom and in turn these leaders choose one among them to be High Chief, these leaders make decisions that affect the entire kingdom, and they are known for their fierce loyalty to the land and the people. The economy of the kingdom is based on mining and lumber, with the rugged landscape yielding valuable minerals and timber. The inhabitants of the kingdom work as miners and lumberjacks, extracting these resources from the earth and using them to build their homes and defenses.
Taishigang is home to a religious order of healers called “The Order of Spring” who are a a highly respected group of monks, the members of this order are known for their extensive knowledge of herbal medicine and natural remedies, as well as their spiritual practices that are believed to aid in the healing process. The Order of Spring has a long-standing tradition of passing down their healing techniques and knowledge from generation to generation, ensuring that their skills and expertise are not lost over time they are highly revered by the people of Taishigang, who often seek their help when they are sick or injured. Due to the harsh climate and rugged terrain of Taishigang, the Order of Spring has developed unique healing methods that are tailored to the specific challenges of the environment. They are experts in treating frostbite, hypothermia, altitude sickness, and other ailments that are common in cold, mountainous regions.
The members of the Order of Spring are dedicated to their craft and often travel far and wide in search of rare and unique ingredients to use in their remedies. They are known to journey deep into the mountain ranges and even venture into neighboring kingdoms to track down plants and herbs that are believed to hold powerful healing properties. Despite their extensive knowledge and skills, the healers of the Order of Spring are humble and compassionate. They offer their services to anyone in need, regardless of their social status or wealth. It is said that their selfless dedication to healing has helped to foster a strong sense of community and trust within the kingdom of Taishigang. The capital city of Taishigang is called Dzonggar, which means "fortress on the mountain" in the ancient language of the region. It is situated on a massive mountain peak that is over 4,000 meters high, with steep cliffs and a treacherous climb to reach the top. The city is built on multiple levels that follow the contours of the mountain, with each level connected by steep staircases and winding paths. The uppermost level of Dzonggar is the highest point in the city and is home to the Dragar Dzong, which serves as the administrative center for the region.
The Dzong is an imposing fortress with thick walls, ornate carvings, and intricate murals depicting scenes from Tonpa mythology. The upper level is also home to several important temples and monasteries that offer stunning views of the surrounding mountains. As one descends the mountain, the levels become more densely populated with homes and businesses. The middle levels of the city are home to bustling marketplaces, where merchants sell everything from spices to textiles to pottery. The lower levels of the city are home to workshops and industry, where artisans create beautiful handicrafts using traditional techniques. The city's buildings are made of stone and wood, with sloping roofs to withstand heavy snowfall. The streets are narrow and winding, with small shops and homes perched on the edge of the mountain. Each level of the city is connected by steep staircases and winding paths, making navigation through the city a challenging but rewarding experience. Despite its rugged location and challenging terrain, Dzonggar is a bustling city with a vibrant culture.
The people of Dzonggar are known for their colorful textiles, intricate woodcarvings, and exquisite metalwork. The city is also famous for its festivals, which are held throughout the year to celebrate the changing seasons, important religious holidays, and the city's rich cultural heritage. The military of the kingdom is composed of skilled rangers and guerilla warriors, trained to navigate the treacherous mountain terrain and to use it to their advantage. The rangers are experts in archery and hunting, the most famous regiment from Taishigang is called The Mountain Demons.
The Mountain Demons are an elite fighting force said to be established by the Lhakpa dynasty, the Mountain Demons only take the tallest of warriors some are said to reach up to 2 meters high, when one is chosen they go on a diet of carbs and protein to gain body mass, their training regiment consists of lifting heavy things and running long distances carrying heavy boulders, in battle they carry massive heavy weapons like hammers, clubs and sometimes even heavy metal gloves. Taishigang is home to the famous Druk-Lha Tsham, the Dragon-Tooth Forest, an expansive woodland that stretches across the western part of the Kingdom. The forest is named after the imposing mountain range that rises up from the trees like the teeth of a dragon.
The forest is home to a diverse array of flora and fauna, including towering pine trees, colorful wildflowers, and a variety of wildlife such as deer, foxes, and even the occasional black bear, streams and rivers flow through the forest in the summer, providing water for the plants and animals that call it home. Despite its natural beauty, the Dragon-Tooth Forest is also home to danger. Bandits and outlaws are known to hide within its depths, preying on travelers who venture too far from the safety of the nearby villages.
The forest is home to the village of Kulik a unique place where the houses are built high among the trees, the villagers live in beautiful treehouses connected by a network of wooden bridges that wind their way through the forest. The houses are made from local wood and are decorated with carvings of animals and intricate patterns. Some houses have balconies where the villagers can sit and enjoy the beautiful views of the forest.
The village has a central meeting place where the villagers gather to socialize and discuss village matters, the meeting place is just outside the only stone building in the village, the Lalimamandir, said to be a stone temple dedicated to the Dharmist God Lalima but repurposed into the home of the ruling Gurung Clan, the Gurung, saw similarities between Lalima and Caihong, who after a lengthy purification process instead dedicated the building to The Mother but kept the original name to honour the builders. The villagers are self-sufficient and grow their own food in small gardens and farms scattered throughout the forest. They also hunt and fish in the nearby rivers and streams. The villagers are known for their hospitality and welcome visitors with open arms, inviting them to stay in their beautiful treehouses and share in their way of life.
The people of the kingdom of Taishigang hold a special reverence for Caihong for it is her practical ways that help them survive the rugged terrain. The people of the kingdom have a rich artistic and musical tradition, heavily influenced by their connection to the land and the animals. They are known for their intricate carvings, woven textiles, and colorful paintings, as well as their haunting music and dance. Khotesh
Khotesh is a kingdom to the west, most of it is located in a vast and arid desert, with small portion of the Kingdom located on grassy planes and snow-capped mountains. The kingdom is known for its rugged terrain, with towering sand dunes, rocky outcroppings, and deep canyons. Most of its people are former nomads who converted to the religion of Tonpa and settled in one place, but there are still some nomadic people who travel with their herds across the desert. The people of Khotesh practice religion fervently, with Tonpa's teachings serving as the foundation for their daily lives. Their art and architecture reflect the influence of the Three Gods, with intricate carvings and paintings of Tonpa and his disciples adorning the walls of many buildings in the kingdom. The kingdom is ruled by a powerful monarch who resides in a grand palace in the capital city of Khanbalik. The palace is a majestic structure with domed roofs and intricate carvings, surrounded by lush gardens and fountains. Despite the harshness of the environment, the people of Khotesh have a rich cultural heritage. They are proud of their nomadic roots, and many still wear traditional clothing and practice traditional customs. The former nomads who settled in one place have formed close-knit communities, and their hospitality to travelers is legendary. Its capital city; Khanbalik is a built upon the grassy plains of the hills to the east of the Kingdom. The city is situated at the junction of several trade routes, which has made it a hub of commerce and culture. Its walls are made of wood and earth, with watchtowers at regular intervals to provide defense against raiders and invaders. The city is known for its harsh and unpredictable climate, with hot winds blowing in from the desert and cold winds descending from the mountains. These winds collide over Khanbalik, creating powerful storms that batter the city every autumn and spring. The storms bring heavy rains, lightning, and hail, making travel and trade difficult during these seasons, it is said that the sun-showers that regularly bathe the city in this time are a meeting of the Three Gods as the Sun, Wind and Rain are all aspects of Caihong, Druk-Ta and Daiden respectively, people often dance in the streets when a sun-shower happens. Despite the challenges posed by the climate, Khanbalik remains a vibrant and bustling city. The streets are crowded with people from all walks of life, from wealthy merchants to wandering nomads. The city is divided into districts based on trade and social status, with the grandest buildings located near the center of the city. The palace of the ruling Khan is one of the most impressive structures in Khanbalik, with ornate wooden carvings and sweeping roofs that curve upward like the wings of a bird. The temple district is also a popular destination for visitors to the city, with a variety of religions represented in the many shrines and sanctuaries.
Khanbalik is not only a bustling hub of commerce and culture, but it is also a melting pot of different ethnic groups and cultures. One of the unique features of Khanbalik is the seasonal influx of nomads who come to the city a few times a year during the changing of the seasons. As the seasons shift from summer to autumn and from winter to spring, nomadic herders from the surrounding grasslands and mountains make their way to Khanbalik to trade goods, socialize, and partake in the city's offerings. The changing of the seasons is a time of celebration and renewal, and the nomads play an important role in this cycle. During the autumn season, nomads bring with them fresh produce such as fruits, vegetables, and grains. They also bring livestock such as sheep, goats, and horses to sell in the city's markets. In turn, they purchase items such as tools, clothing, and other necessities that they cannot produce on their own. In the spring, nomads return to Khanbalik with wool, meat, and dairy products from their herds. They also bring with them handmade crafts such as felt blankets, rugs, and clothing, which they trade for goods that will sustain them throughout the summer months. The seasonal exchange between the nomads and the city-dwellers is an important part of the culture and economy of Khanbalik. It fosters a sense of community and interdependence between the different groups, and it has been a tradition for generations.
One of the most interesting places in Khotesh is the town of Rokhala, a town carved into a towering sandstone cliff that rises high above the surrounding plains, the town's location is strategic, as it is nestled in a valley along a popular trade route, making it a profitable place for a settlement, the entrance to the town is a narrow, winding path that cuts into the cliff face, providing a natural defense against invaders. The town is built in a series of caves and carved out of sandstone, with buildings made from the same material, the structures are connected by narrow walkways, staircases, and bridges that cross over the canyon below. The town has a unique charm with its rustic stone architecture and winding passageways that twist and turn, creating an intriguing labyrinth of alleys and streets. The town has a diverse population, including traders, craftsmen, and mushroom farmers who make use of shallow caves to grow them in.
The town is home to a massive sandstone mining operation that exports sandstone all over the known world, sandstone from Rokhala is seen in the Confucian Kingdoms to the East, the Dharmist Kingdoms to the South and even the Caliphist and Mazdan Kingdoms to the West. Another interesting sight in the deserts of Khotesh is Altan Gazar, a bustling caravan that travels in harmony with the seasonal migration of a massive herd of Ibex, tents and yurts, woven from the finest camel and goat hair, are packed up and loaded onto sturdy pack animals as the city prepares to move to its next destination, the inhabitants are skilled in the art of packing and unpacking, swiftly transforming their temporary dwellings into a well-organized mobile settlement. As the herd of Ibex moves across the arid landscape, guided by the keen eyes of the city's inhabitants, the nomadic city follows in its wake, the city's layout is flexible and adaptable, with a central encampment for the tribal leader and their entourage, surrounded by the dwellings of other important individuals and their families. Water is a precious commodity in the desert, and the city relies on natural springs and wells discovered along the migration route, the inhabitants are experts in locating and utilizing these hidden water sources, carefully managing their usage to sustain their community and animals throughout their journey, rainwater is also collected during rare showers and stored in large containers for times when water is scarce.
The Ibex is an integral part of life to Altan Gazar, most adults carry a drinking horn made of Ibex horn, Ibex meat is regularly consumed in the spring with various spices found in the semi-arid grassy plains of their spring migration pattern, Ibex blood is sometimes drunk when water is scarce, fermented Ibex milk is a regular drink among the adults and Ibex skins are worn during cold winter nights. The city's architecture is designed to be lightweight and portable, with structures made of woven mats, reeds, and mud bricks. The city's inhabitants are skilled in constructing and deconstructing their homes as they move, utilizing locally available materials. Life in the nomadic city is intertwined with the rhythm of the desert and the migratory patterns of the Ibex. The inhabitants have a deep bond with their animals, particularly camels, which are used for transportation, milk, and meat. The city is a hub of trade and commerce, with merchants and traders from nearby towns and villages joining the city's journey, bartering for goods and services along the way.
The army of Khotesh is renowned for its hardiness and combat prowess in desert conditions. The kingdom has a long history of fending off invasions and raids from neighboring regions, and its army is specifically trained to operate effectively in desert terrain. The soldiers of Khotesh are known for their ruggedness and resilience, with many of them hailing from nomadic backgrounds. They are skilled in mounted combat, with cavalry units comprising a significant portion of the army. These cavalry units are particularly adept at hit-and-run tactics, using their speed and mobility to strike quickly and then retreat before the enemy can respond.
In addition to cavalry, the army of Khotesh also includes infantry units that specialize in desert warfare. These soldiers are trained to navigate harsh terrain and extreme temperatures, and they are equipped with light armor and weapons that are well-suited for the desert environment. They are skilled in using terrain to their advantage, and are adept at setting ambushes and launching surprise attacks. One of the unique features of the Khotesh army is their use of desert animals in combat. The kingdom is home to a variety of animals that have been domesticated and trained for military purposes, including camels and falcons. Camels are particularly useful in desert warfare due to their ability to traverse long distances with little water, and they are often used to transport soldiers and supplies across the harsh desert terrain. Falcons, on the other hand, are used for scouting and reconnaissance, and are trained to locate and track enemy troops.
The most famous army regiment of Khotesh is called The Scorpions, they are renowned desert survivalists and lone assassins, but in times of battle they are called upon to form a vanguard for the ruling Khan or Khanum, alone they are formidable but as a unit they are immensely dangerous, they are expert hand to hand combatants and excel at short, light weapons like shortswords and javelins. Another famed regiment of Khotesh is called The Hailstones, they are a Camel cavalry unit who use shock cavalry tactics, their camels have two riders, a spearman on the front and an archer on the back, the camels are bred to be massive to carry out such a feat, the spearman on the front charges into infantry lines with the spear and then turns away from the enemy to line up another charge while the archer on the back fires into their ranks, it is a very effective tactic that has won many battles.
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2023.06.08 00:16 metsnewyork19861969 A short story that I wrote which is based on the NBA23 My Career storyline.
Jesse Lang had a stellar college basketball career playing for the Florida Gators. After spending three seasons there, and winning the national title, Jesse felt he had nothing else to prove, and so, he made himself eligible for the 2022 NBA draft. As fate would have it, Jesse was drafted 5th overall by the Philadelphia 76ers. Jesse could not have been happier. The 76ers were one of the most storied franchises in NBA history, and on top of that, they already had elite players in Joel Embiid and James Harden.
The Sixers fans, however, were not at all happy about Jesse being drafted. They wanted Brad Snow, a small forward (The same position Jesse played) out of the University of Kentucky. The Sixers fans booed Jesse. Snow was drafted 6th overall by the Los Angeles Clippers. Snow, much like the Sixers fans, hated Jesse because he was drafted ahead of him. This sparked a rivalry between the 5th and 6th picks. Snow was an athletic freak, but he hadn’t had as impressive of a college career as Jesse, nor was he as skilled.
Jesse was a good shooter, defender, and passer. Essentially, he was a taller John Stockton. He was a lanky, 6 foot 10 white kid who grew up on a ranch in Utah. He wasn’t very athletic, but he was skilled. In fact it was his height and skill which allowed him to play all five positions: Point Guard, Shooting Guard, Power Forward, and Center, much like Larry Bird or Magic Johnson. Yes, Snow was athletic, and had lots of potential, but he wasn’t skilled the way Jesse was, and that’s why the Sixers picked Jesse, and not him.
When Jesse joined the 76ers, he wasn’t a starter right away, and instead, was coming off the bench, until his seventh game, when he was given a spot on the starting lineup, after averaging 36.1 points, 15.1 assists, 6.5 steals, and 2.5 rebounds per game, while shooting 87% from the field, and 76% from the three point line. Needless to say, Jesse averaged video game-like numbers, which was highly impressive, especially as a rookie. As the season progressed, the Sixers fans regretted ever booing him. Jesse formed a big three with Embiid and Harden, and the Sixers were the most exciting team in the league, and heavy favorites to win the championship. By the end of the season, the 76ers had a franchise best record of 71-11. Jesse was the unanimous pick for rookie of the year, as well as the defensive player of the year, made the all rookie 1st team, all defensive 1st team, all NBA 1st team, and even won the MVP award, all as a rookie. The 76ers then went on to go completely undefeated in the playoffs, eventually sweeping the Phoenix Suns in the finals. Jesse was awarded with an NBA title, and the finals MVP.
Jesse had proved himself to the fans that he was better than Snow. He proved he belonged in the NBA. Most importantly, he proved that he was worthy of the 5th pick in the draft. Jesse would go on to be one of the greatest basketball players of all time. Not bad for an unathletic white kid who was booed on draft night.
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2023.06.07 21:12 JoshAsdvgi THE POWERFUL BOY
| || | submitted by JoshAsdvgi to Native_Stories [link] [comments]
THE POWERFUL BOY
The Seneca, one of the Iroquois nations of the Northeast, have their own version of the all-conquering little one.
A man and his wife lived with their five-year-old son in an ugly-looking lodge in the woods.
One day the woman died giving birth to another boy, who was bright and lively but no longer than a person's hand.
Thinking that the infant would not live, the father wrapped it carefully and placed it in a hollow tree outside the lodge.
After that he burned the body of the mother.
Then as he had done before, the man went hunting every day.
The five-year-old played around the lodge by himself, feeling lonely.
After a time he heard crying from the hollow tree, for the baby too was lonely,
and hungry as well.
When he discovered his little brother, the boy made him some soup from deer intestines, which the baby drank with relish.
Much stronger, the newborn crawled out of the tree, and the two played together.
The older brother made a little coat out of fawn skin; when he put it on, the baby looked like a chipmunk scampering around.
When he came home, the father noticed that the deer intestines were gone and asked the boy what he had done with them.
"Oh," said the child, "I was hungry."
Seeing a small track of very short steps around the fire, the father said, "Here are a boy's tracks.
Who is it?" So his son confessed that he had found his little brother in a hollow tree, and that he had given him soup and made him a fawn-skin coat.
"Go and bring him," said the father.
"He's shy; he won't come for anything," the boy said.
'Well, we'll catch him.
Ask him to hunt mice with you in the old stump behind the hollow tree, and I'll get him."
Gathering a great many mice, the man hid them in his clothes.
Then he walked beyond the tree and crouched down so that he looked like an old stump.
The boy went to the tree and called, "Come on, let's catch some mice."
The baby climbed out, and they rushed around the stump catching mice.
Wild with excitement, the tiny thing laughed and shouted; he had never had so much fun.
Suddenly the stump turned into a man, who caught the little one ,in his arms and ran to the lodge.
The infant screamed and struggled, but it was no use; he couldn't get away, and he would not be pacified until his father put a small club into his hand and said.
"Now hit that tree."
The baby struck a great hickory.
The tree fell.
Then he laid about him
with the club, and everything he hit at was either crushed or killed.
He was delighted and stopped crying.
Now the baby stayed with his older brother while their father went hunting.
"You must not go to the north while I'm away," the father told them.
"Bad, dangerous people live there."
But when the father had left, the tiny one said to his brother, "Oh, let's go north; I want to see what's there."
The boys started off and walked until they came to wooded, marshy ground.
Then they heard what sounded like many people calling, "My father! My fatherl" Actually they were frogs singing the frog song,
"Oh, these people want to hurt my father!" the little boy cried.
He fixed himself a pile of red-hot stones and, hurling them at the frogs, killed everyone.
When the boys came home, their father was very angry.
"You must not go again," he said. "
And you must not go west; it's dangerous there too."
But the next day when their father had left, the little boy said, "I want to see what's in the west; let's go there."
So they traveled westward until they came to a tall pine tree, with a bed made of skins at the very top.
"That's a strange place for a bed," the little boy said to his brother.
"I'll climb up and look at it."
Up he went. In the bed at the top he found two naked, frightened children, a boy and a girl. He pinched the naked boy, who called out, "Father, Father! Some strange child has come and scared me nearly to death!"
Suddenly the voice of Thunder was heard in the far west.
It rumbled toward them faster and faster until it reached the bed in the treetop.
Raising his club, the little boy, the powerful one, struck Thunder and crushed his head, so that he fell dead to the ground.
Then the boy pinched the naked girl, which made her call, "Mother!
Mother! Some strange boy is tormenting me!" Instantly the voice of Mother Thunder sounded in the west and grew louder until she stood by the tree.
The powerful boy struck her on the head as he had done with her husband, and she fell dead.
The powerful one thought, "This Thunder boy would make a fine tobacco pouch for my father.
I'll take him home." He struck the boy with his club and then threw both children to the ground.
The two brothers went home, and the tiny one said, "Oh, Father! I have brought you a splended pouch!"
"What have you done?" the father said when he saw the dead Thunder baby.
"These ~thunders have never harmed us.
They bring rain and do us good, but now they will destroy us to revenge their children."
"Oh, they won't hurt us-I've killed the whole family," the powerful boy replied.
So the father took the skin for a tobacco pouch, but he said, "You must never go north to the country where Stone Coat lives."
The next day the older brother would not disobey his father, so the powerful boy headed north by himself.
About noon he heard the loud barking of Stone Coat's dog, which was as tall as a deer. Thinking that the master must be close by, the little boy jumped into the heart of a chestnut tree to hide.
The dog kept barking, and Stone Coat came up to look around.
"There's nothing here," he said, but the dog barked and· stared at the tree.
Finally Stone Coat struck the tree with his club and split it open.
"WVhat a strange little fellow you are," Stone Coat said, looking at the boy as he came out. "You're not big enough to fill a hole in my tooth."
"Oh, I didn't come to fill holes in your teeth. I came to go home with YOll and see how you live," said the boy.
"All right, come on," Stone Coat said, and began walking with enormous steps.
In his belt he carried two great bears, which seemed as small as squirrels.
Once in a while he would look far down and say to the boy running by his side, "You're a funny little creature!"
His lodge was huge and very long; the boy had never seen anything like it.
Stone C.oat skinned the two bears, put one before his visitor, and otok the other for himself.
"You eat this bear," he said, "or I'll eat you and him together."
"If you don't eat yours before I eat mine, may I kill you?" asked the boy.
"Oh, yes," said Stone Coat.
The little boy cut off pieces of meat, cleaned them as fast as he could, and put them into his mouth.
Then he ran out of the lodge to hide the meat.
He kept running in and out, in and out, until all the flesh of his bear had disappeared.
"You haven't finished yours yet," he said to Stone Coat.
''I'm going to kill you!"
'Wait until I show you how to slide downhill," Stone Coat said, and took him to a long, slippery hillside which ended in a cave.
Putting the boy in a wooden bowl.
Stone Coat sent him down at great speed.
But presently the powerful boy ran up the slope again.
"Where did you leave the bow!?" asked the surprised Stone Coat.
"Oh, I don't know--down there, I suppose," the boy replied.
"Well, let's see who can kick this log highest," said Stone Coat.
"You try first," said the little one.
The log was two feet thick and six feet long.
Putting his foot under it, Stone C.oat kicked the log up twice his own height.
Then the boy, slipping his foot under the log, sent it whistling through the air.
It was gone a long time.
Then it came down on Stone Coat's head and crushed him to death.
"Come here," said the boy to Stone Coat's dog.
The dog came, and the little one climbed on his back and rode home.
"Now my father will have a fine hunting dog," he said.
When the father saw the dog, he cried, "What have you done? Stone Coa t will kill us all!"
"I have killed Stone Coat.
He won't trouble us any more," replied the boy, the powerful one.
"Now, boys," said the father, "you must never go to the southwest, the gambling place."
But the next day about noon, the younger brother started walking southwest.
He came to a beautiful opening in the woods, with a lean-to at the farther end.
Sitting under the lean-to a man with a large head, much larger than a buffalo's, played dice for the heads of all who came along.
He used wild-plumpits with designs on them for dice.
Crowds of people were betting in groups of three.
When they lost, as all did, the big-headed man put the three persons to one side.
Then he played with three more, and when they lost he put them with the first three, and so on-until he decided that the number was large enough.
Then he got up and cut all their heads off.
As the boy approached, a number of people who had lost their bets were waiting to be killed.
Hope came to them all, for they sensed that this child had great orenda-power, or medicine.
The boy took his place, and the game began immediately.
When the big-headed man threw the dice, the bay caused some to remain in the dish and others to go high, so that the dice came to rest with different designs showing.
But when the boy threw, the dice turned into woodcocks, flew high, and came down as dice of the same design.
The two played until the boy won back all the people and the gambler lost his own big head, for the boy instantly cut it off.
The whole crowd shouted, "Now you must be our chief!"
The boy said, "How could a little thing like me be a chief? Maybe my father would be willing to do it; I'll ask him."
The boy went home with the story, but his father would not move to the land of gambling.
"Now," said the father, "you must never go to the east, where they play ball."
But the next day the boy traveled east until he came to a great, level country of beautiful plains.
There the Wolf and the Bear clans were playing against the Eagle, the Turtle, and the Beaver clans.
The boy took the side of the Wolf and the Bear.
"If you win," they told him, "you will own all this country."
They played, and the boy won.
"Now,"they say, ' "you are the owner. "
The powerful boy went home and told his father, "I have won all the beautiful country of the east; come and be chief of it."
His father consented and moved with his two boys to the country of the east, and there they lived.
Told by by Jeremiah Curtin and J. N. B. Hewitt around 1910.
2023.06.07 20:47 Right_Resolution6823 best website hosting in nigeria
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2023.06.07 19:47 erickvxaf (Offer) My Codes (Request) Your Codes
I'm preferably looking for the 2023 codes from my ISO list. My ISO list is at the bottom of the list, titles in bold are my top wants.
UNTOUCHED: 20th Century Women - VUDU - HD A Quiet Place: Part II - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Adaptation - MA/VUDU - 4K Alice in Wonderland (1951) - MA/VUDU - HD Alita: Battle Angel - MA/VUDU - 4K Ambulance - MA/VUDU - 4K American Psycho - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Amsterdam - MA/VUDU - HD Antlers - MA/VUDU - HD Assassination Nation - MA/VUDU - HD Atlantis: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD Avatar: The Way of Water - MA/VUDU - HD Babylon - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Beast - MA/VUDU - HD Black Adam - MA/VUDU - 4K Black Widow - MA/VUDU - 4K Bodies Bodies Bodies - VUDU - 4K Boy Erased - MA/VUDU - HD Brother Bear: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD Bullet Train - MA/VUDU - HD Chaos Walking - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Christopher Robin - MA/VUDU - HD Cinderella: 3-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD Cloverfield - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Cool Hand Luke - MA/VUDU - 4K Creed III - VUDU - 4K Cruella - MA/VUDU - 4K Daybreakers - VUDU - 4K Dear Evan Hansen (Studio Code) - MA/VUDU - 4K Death on the Nile - MA/VUDU - 4K Disobedience - MA/VUDU - HD Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness - MA/VUDU - 4K Don't Worry Darling - MA/VUDU - HD Downton Abbey: A New Era - MA/VUDU - HD Dumbo (1941) - MA/VUDU - HD Dune - MA/VUDU - 4K Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Edward Scissorhands - MA/VUDU - HD Encanto - MA/VUDU - 4K Eternals - MA/VUDU - 4K Everything Everywhere All At Once - VUDU - 4K Evil Dead Rise - MA/VUDU - HD Fantasy Island - MA/VUDU - HD Father Stu - MA/VUDU - HD Firestarter - MA/VUDU - HD Freaks of Nature - MA/VUDU - HD Free Guy - MA/VUDU - 4K Gallipoli - VUDU or iTunes - HD Green Book - MA/VUDU - HD Green Lantern: Beware My Power - MA/VUDU - 4K Halloween Ends - MA/VUDU - 4K Halloween Kills - MA/VUDU - 4K Highlander - VUDU - 4K Hitman's Wife's Bodyguard - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Honest Thief - MA/VUDU - HD How to Talk to Girls at Parties - VUDU - HD Indignation - VUDU - HD Interstellar - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Jackass Forever - VUDU or iTunes - HD/4K John Wick: Chapter 4 - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Jojo Rabbit - MA/VUDU - 4K Jungle Cruise - MA/VUDU - 4K Kingsman: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - 4K Last Christmas - MA/VUDU - HD Last Night in Soho - MA/VUDU - 4K Leave No Trace - MA/VUDU - HD Let Him Go (Studio Code) - MA/VUDU - 4K Lightyear - MA/VUDU - 4K Love, Simon - MA/VUDU - HD Mad Max: 4-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - 4K Memory - MA/VUDU - HD Men - VUDU - HD Missing - MA/VUDU - HD Mission: Impossible - 6-Movie Collection - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Moonfall - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Morbius - MA/VUDU - 4K Mortal - VUDU or iTunes - HD Mortal Kombat (2021) - MA/VUDU - 4K Nomadland - MA/VUDU - HD Nope - MA/VUDU - HD Once Upon a Deadpool - MA/VUDU - HD One Ranger - VUDU or iTunes - HD/4K Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Ordinary People - VUDU or iTunes - HD Orphan: First Kill - VUDU or iTunes - HD/4K Paranormal Activity: The Ultimate Chills Collection - VUDU or iTunes - HD Peter Pan: Return to Neverland - MA/VUDU - HD Peter Rabbit: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD Plane - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Polite Society - MA/VUDU - HD Professor Marston and the Wonder Women - MA/VUDU - HD Rambo: 5-Movie Collection - VUDU - 4K Ratatouille - MA/VUDU - 4K Raya and the Last Dragon - MA/VUDU - 4K Ready or Not - MA/VUDU - HD Red Eye - VUDU - 4K Red Rocket - VUDU - HD Redeeming Love - MA/VUDU - HD Renfield - MA/VUDU - HD Repo! The Genetic Opera - VUDU - HD Reservoir Dogs - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Rocky: The Knockout Collection - VUDU - 4K Rogue (2020) - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Ron's Gone Wrong - MA/VUDU - 4K Saint Maud - VUDU - HD Scream (2022) - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Seriously Red - VUDU - HD She Said - MA/VUDU - HD Sleeping Beauty (Signature Collection) - MA/VUDU - HD Soul - MA/VUDU - 4K Spell - VUDU or iTunes - HD/4K Spider-Man: 3-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - 4K Spider-Man: No Way Home - MA/VUDU - 4K Spies in Disguise - MA/VUDU - 4K Spinning Gold - MA/VUDU - HD Spirit Untamed: The Movie - MA/VUDU - HD Spontaneous - VUDU - HD Stillwater - MA/VUDU - HD Studio 666 - MA/VUDU - HD Swiss Army Man - VUDU - HD Teen Spirit - MA/VUDU - HD The Alfred Hitchcock Classics Collection - MA - 4K The Alfred Hitchcock Classics Collection Vol. 2 - MA - 4K The Amazing Spider-Man: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - 4K The Aristocats - MA/VUDU - HD The Art of Self-Defense - MA/VUDU - HD The Banshees of Inisherin - MA/VUDU - HD The Batman - MA/VUDU - 4K The Best of Mickey Collection - MA/VUDU - HD The Black Phone - MA/VUDU - HD The Bob's Burgers Movie - MA/VUDU - 4K The Cabin in the Woods - VUDU or iTunes - 4K The Card Counter - MA/VUDU - HD The Craft: Legacy - MA/VUDU - HD The Dentist Collection - VUDU - HD The Exorcism of God - VUDU or iTunes - HD The Fabelmans - MA/VUDU - 4K The French Dispatch - MA/VUDU - HD The Green Knight - VUDU - 4K The Grudge (2020) - MA/VUDU - HD The Hunchback of Notre Dame: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD The Invisible Man (2020) - MA/VUDU - HD The Invitation - MA/VUDU - HD The Jungle Book (1967) - MA - HD The Jungle Book 2 - MA/VUDU - HD The Killing of a Sacred Deer - VUDU - HD The Last Duel - MA/VUDU - 4K The Lion King: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD The Little Mermaid - MA/VUDU - 4K The Lobster - VUDU - HD The Lodge - MA/VUDU - HD The Lost Boys - MA/VUDU - 4K The Lost City - VUDU or iTunes - 4K The Maltese Falcon - MA/VUDU - 4K The Man Who Invented Christmas - MA/VUDU - HD The Marksman - MA/VUDU - HD The Menu - MA/VUDU - HD The Monster - VUDU - HD The Night House - MA/VUDU - HD The Prestige - MA/VUDU - 4K The Princess and the Frog - MA/VUDU - 4K The Remains of the Day - MA/VUDU - 4K The Rescuers: 2-Movie Collection - MA/VUDU - HD The Shawshank Redemption - MA/VUDU - 4K The Super Mario Bros. Movie - MA/VUDU - 4K The Terminator - VUDU - HD The Unholy - MA/VUDU - HD The Whale - VUDU - HD The Woman King - MA/VUDU - 4K Thor: Love and Thunder - MA/VUDU - 4K Ticket to Paradise - MA/VUDU - HD Tolkien - MA/VUDU - HD Turning Red - MA/VUDU - 4K Umma - MA/VUDU - HD Unbreakable - MA/VUDU - 4K Uncharted - MA/VUDU - HD Underwater - MA/VUDU - HD Vivo - MA/VUDU - HD Voyagers - VUDU or iTunes - 4K Wall-E - MA/VUDU - 4K Wander Darkly - VUDU or iTunes - HD West Side Story - MA/VUDU - 4K Where'd You Go, Bernadette - MA/VUDU - HD Wreck-It Ralph - MA/VUDU - 4K X-Men: Dark Phoenix - MA/VUDU - 4K Yesterday - MA/VUDU - HD You Were Never Really Here - VUDU - HD
SPLIT: 101 Dalmatians II: Patch's London Adventure - GP - HD Bambi II - MA/VUDU - HD Danger Close - VUDU - HD Spies in Disguise - MA/VUDU - HD The Book of Henry - iTunes - HD The French Dispatch - MA/VUDU - HD The Guest - iTunes - 4K
MY ISO LIST: 2023: 65 / A Good Person / Maximum Overdrive / Creed III 4K / The Running Man 4K / Shazam! Fury of the Gods 4K / Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania 4K / The Italian Job 4K / Moving On / Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre / Knock at the Cabin / Superman I-IV 5-Film Collection 4K / Champions / Deep Impact 4K / Supercell / Jesus Revolution / The Man Who Fell to Earth 4K / Magic Mike's Last Dance / Marlowe / Righteous Thieves / Transfusion / Confess, Fletch / Mickey and Friends: 10 Classic Shorts / Warner Bros 100th 25-Film Collection, Vol. One, Two, Three, Four / Missing / Plane / Babylon 4K / M3GAN / Seriously Red / Alice, Darling / A Man Called Otto / The Whale / Women Talking / B'Twixt Now and Sunrise / Devotion / Puss in Boots: The Last Wish / Rocky: The Knockout Collection 4K / Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody / Empire of Light / The Inspection / The Old Way / The Price We Pay / The Remains of the Day 4K / 3 Days of the Condor / The Fabelmans / Strange World / Mickey and Minnie: 10 Classic Shorts / Spoiler Alert / Big Night / Bones and All / The Diving Bell and the Butterfly / Event Horizon 4K / Gallipoli / Young Sherlock Holmes / Mindcage / Rock Dog 3: Battle the Beat / Violent Night / Double Jeopardy 4K / Till / She Said / Armageddon Time / Prey for the Devil
2022: Tár 4K / Gigi and Nate / American Murderer / Call Jane / Lyle, Lyle, Crocodile / Ticket to Paradise / 48 Hrs. / Another 48 Hrs. 4K / Adaptation. 4K / Amsterdam / Better Off Dead / The Warriors / Don't Worry Darling 4K / Bros / The Good House / The Inhabitant / Jerry and Marge Go Large / Three Thousand Years of Longing / Aqua Teen Forever: Plantasm / Saturday Night Fever 4K / The Classic Christmas Specials Collection 4K / Honk for Jesus. Save Your Soul. / The Polar Express 4K / Columbia Classics Collection: Volume 3 4K / The Invitation / Fall / Mack and Rita / Orphan: First Kill / Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank / Rumble / Beast / Frankenweenie / The Limey 4K / Paranormal Activity: The Ultimate Chills Collection / Universal Classic Monsters: Icons of Horror Collection Vol. 2 4K / Catch Me If You Can / DC League of Super-Pets / Mean Girls / Vengeance / Fatal Attraction 4K / Real Genius 4K / Where the Crawdads Sing / Minions: The Rise of Gru / Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris / American Carnage / Stalag 17 / Event Horizon 4K / Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts / Lilo and Stitch: 2-Movie Collection / Vivo / The Bob's Burgers Movie / Angel Heart 4K / Galaxy Quest / Memory / After Yang / The Bad Guys 4K / Cinderella / Giant 4K / The Emperor's New Groove: 2-Movie Collection / Father Stu / Fatherhood / The Rescuers: 2-Movie Collection / 1776 4K / The Untouchables 4K / Malignant 4K / Teen Titans Go! and DC Super Hero Girls: Mayhem in the Multiverse / Umma / Extreme Prejudice / Infinite / Top Secret / The Alfred Hitchcock Classics Collection Vol. 2 4K / Dog / Blacklight / The Outfit / Cyrano / The Exorcism of God / The Humans / The King's Daughter / C'mon C'mon / Marry Me / Ordinary People / Red Rocket / Redeeming Love / Rugrats 3-Movie Collection / Belfast / Escape from L.A. 4K / Looper 4K / Almost Famous 4K / Clifford the Big Red Dog / The Addams Family 2
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2023.06.07 17:56 uggsandstarbux Defending the Draft 2023: Minnesota Vikings
2022 was a dangerous year to be a Vikings fan, especially if you have a pre-existing heart condition. While a season of 13 wins -- tied for the most since 1998 -- may seem like the team is in a position to make a Superbowl push, the actual quality of the team is a lot more... well, mediocre.
The 2022 Vikings ranked 19th in offensive EPA per play, 25th in defensive EPA per play, 27th in Overall DVOA, and 15th in Pythagorean Wins (with 8.4 expected wins). Kevin O'Connell always preached the performance of the team in priority situations. The team finished 12th in 3rd down conversion rate and 8th in red zone conversion rate. And the team led the league -- by far -- in the number of 4th quarter comebacks and game winning drives. When it was time to put up or shut up, the team put up hard. Except for in the playoffs.
All of that made the future of the Vikings tough to read. But Kwesi Adofo-Mensah and the rest of the front office told us what they thought of the team with their free agency moves. In a league where teams are trading the farm for Hall of Fame QBs and giving $20M/Year deals to nose tackles and guards, the Vikings' big free agent splash were a one year deal on an injury-prone DE and a good-not-great corner that doesn't even crack the top 20 highest AAVs at the position. Concurrently, the team parted ways with half of the team's 2022 captains to try to get under the cap. All of this while the team is not done with transactions -- Dalvin Cook still presents as a cut candidate due to his age and contract structure. Notable Departures:
- WR Adam Thielen ($6.4 Saved / $13.5 Dead)
- LB Eric Kendricks ($9.5 Saved / $1.93 Dead)
- CB Patrick Peterson (Unrestricted Free Agent)
- DT Dalvin Tomlinson (Unrestricted Free Agent)
- EDGE Za'Darius Smith (Post-draft trade)
Other Notable Transactions:
- CB Byron Murphy (2Y / $17.5TOT / $8.1GTD)
- EDGE Marcus Davenport (1Y / $13TOT / $10GTD)
- TE Josh Oliver (3Y / $21TOT / $8.2GTD)
- DT Dean Lowry (2Y / $8.5TOT / $4.2GTD)
- Re-Signed C Garrett Bradbury (3Y / $15.75TOT / $5.15GTD)
- Re-Signed RB Alexander Mattison (2Y / $7TOT / $6.35GTD)
- Re-Signed FB CJ Ham (3Y / $5.6TOT / $3.3GTD)
- Re-Signed All-Pro LS Andrew DePaola (3Y / $4.025TOT / $1.515GTD)
The other major change that influenced how the team addresses the draft was the shift from Ed Donatell's Cover 2 shell defense to Brian Flores's aggressive man defense. Compared to the 2022 Vikings, Flores's 2021 Dolphins blitzed over twice as often and played with light boxes at roughly half the rate. On top of the front seven, one of the biggest changes in scheme is the Cover 2 alignment, which Donatell employed on nearly half of all defensive snaps compared to just 12% for Flores's 2021 Miami team. With one crop of rookies and free agents brought in to play in a Fangio style scheme, the defense would have to undergo a massive shift to succeed in a scheme that can only be described as the complete opposite of what was run in 2022. Cornerback
- Arguably the Vikings' biggest need, the team was without a true CB1. Byron Murphy comes aboard as the most experienced player. Pegged a slot-only player through his first three years, Murphy spent most of his time in 2022 outside and had a career year. After that, the team looked to rely on improvements from their 2022 draft class with Andrew Booth and Akayleb Evans, two players that combined for fewer than 300 defensive snaps last season primarily due to injury. You can see how KAM and crew, confident in their scouting ability, are betting on health to affect the secondary for the better. But taking another bet on a young player is a smart move at a position where depth is always a good thing. Interior Defensive Line
- The loss of Dalvin Tomlinson -- who played 551 snaps last year and compiled 14 pressures -- leaves issues next to Harrison Phillips. Jonathan Bullard was third on the IDL with 319 snaps last season and returns on a one year deal. Tonga and Lynch had some flashes, and the team brought in Lowry. The rotation (optimistically) can get to competent. But finding a true winner on the inside of the line was viewed by many as a priority. Wide Receiver
- The Vikings starting personnel at WR heading in to the draft was Justin Jefferson (stud), KJ Osborn (decent), and... Jalen Nailor? Brandon Powell? Oh dear Lord don't tell me it's Jalen Reagor. The loss of Adam Thielen was expected, but nevertheless leaves a gaping hole next to JJ and KJ in the lineup. Keenan McCardell is arguably the best WR coach in the league, and playing with Jefferson would give one-on-one opportunities for any receiver. But having somebody that can actually win those one-on-ones remains a question. Inside Linebacker
- Eric Kendricks's jersey change marks the true end of an era at LB. Kendricks struggled in Donatell's scheme last season, as did most players. But he was a longtime leader on the defense and a valued community member. Jordan Hicks, Brian Asamoah, and Troy Reeder sit atop the depth chart. Hicks can be solid and Asamoah had flashes, but counting on this group as every down players is a risk to say the least. Offensive Guard
- Ed Ingram was one of the worst starting guards in the league last season. But he's a rookie. Maybe he gets better in year 2. Maybe he stays terrible. Even if you're optimistic there, Ezra Cleveland is entering a contract year at left guard. Adding interior offensive line depth is always smart. Quarterback
- This offseason, reports surfaced that the team and QB Kirk Cousins could not finalize a contract extension. That means for the first time in his Vikings tenure, Cousins is entering a contract year. Cousins has been an above average QB during his time in Minnesota. Last year saw him finish 4th in yards, but he was painfully mediocre at efficiency stats like TD percent (17th), ANY/A (18th), and ADOT (20th). Entering his age-35 season, it would be wise to look for a successor even if the team plans on retaining Cousins past 2023.
*Indicates measure is taken from Pro Day 1.23 WR Jordan Addison, USC Profile: Jr 5'11 173lbs 31.5 Arm\
8.75 Hand 75.125 Wing* 4.49 40 1.57 10 34 VJ 10'2 BJ 4.19 SS* 7.05 3c 5.95 RAS* 2022 Stats: 11 Gm 59 Rec 875 Yds 8 TD 2 Drops Steve Smith Sr
: "Addison has one of the highest ceilings among WRs in this draft due to his blend of route running chops and his all around athleticism. He is a three level route runner: intermediate, deep, and short... The way he can get in and out of his breaks is so natural. He uses leverage. And he manipulates the DB consistently"
Addison -- a Biletnikoff Award winner during his Pitt days -- is one of the highest floor players in the class. He is a route running technician with proven dominance playing inside and outside. He had more than 3 yards per route run in two different offenses. He understands how to marry his athleticism and quickness with the breaks in his routes. He finds the DB's blind spot and forces them to lose. Addison is a bit on the small side, but not abnormally so given this draft class. He does have some concerns with his hands -- his drop rates as a freshman and sophomore were 14% and 10%, respectively -- but he showed improvement in this as a junior.
The need here is clear. As mentioned earlier, the WR depth past JJ and KJ is abysmal. Even with Thielen and Osborn on the roster in 2022, the Vikings needed juice in the WR room. The 2022 Vikings had one top 5 WR in yards per route run (Jefferson). There was no other receiver in the top 100. Teams were not worried about Thielen or Osborn. Teams could put two or three defenders on Jefferson without any fear of what anyone else might do to their defense. Hockenson fixed this a bit down the stretch, but an outside playmaker was still needed.
The real question here is why the team opted not to go for CB Joey Porter Jr, who filled what many considered to be the team's biggest need and was a higher ranked prospect for Lance Zierlein, PFF, Danny Kelly, Matt Miller, and Dane Brugler. The answer here -- if I can take a guess and stretch my logic a bit -- is that the need at WR2 was greater than the need at CB. Patrick Peterson was the biggest loss in the secondary, and the team brought in Byron Murphy to try to fill that role. On offense, Minnesota had not brought in a replacement for Adam Thielen. The depth chart past Jefferson and Osborn was filled with bodies that might not make a 53-man roster on a lot of teams. Trade: SF gives 3.87 to MIN for 3.102, 5.164, 7.222
| ||Jimmy Johnson ||Rich Hill ||Fitzgerald-Spielberger ||Harvard |
|Total give ||155 ||48 ||737 ||115 |
|Total get ||117.7 ||45 ||1334 ||197 |
|Absolute Diff ||-37.3 ||-3 ||+597 ||+82 |
|Percent Diff ||-24% ||-6% ||+81% ||+71% |
The biggest thing to consider when evaluating this trade is that the Vikings came into the draft with 5 picks, only two of which were in the top 100. In my biased opinion, this was a home run trade, even if the traditional charts disagree. To take three swings at the bat instead of one is a humble and wise strategy, especially for a team with limited draft capital. The move looks even better in hindsight because there were no CBs taken between 87 and 102. 3.102 CB Mekhi Blackmon, USC Profile: 6Sr 5'11" 178lbs 31" Arm 9.25" Hand 74.625" Wing 4.47 40 1.47 10 36 VJ 10'5" BJ 11 Bench 7.44 RAS 2022 Stats: 14 Gm 66 TKL 2 TFL 1 FF 15 PD 3 INT
Brett Kollman: "Feisty, physical press corner who definitely has to play more under control in the NFL to avoid flags, but he has all the competitiveness you want to see from a potential CB1 at the next level. Never backs down from anyone. Has easy gas to stay in control of a route from top down, even against true burners. Legit 4.4 speed and gets up to it quickly. Outstanding ball production... Held up extremely well despite being targeted often. Battle tested, aggressive, and confident... Very similar to Desmond Trufant."
An unrecruited high school positionless player out of high school that signed with JuCo San Mateo, Blackmon followed up four seasons at Colorado with a breakout 2022 campaign as one of the best defenders on the USC defense. The Trojans played a man-heavy scheme, which let Blackmon shine. He has great anticipation and instincts. His production this year says as much. He plays bigger than his size, and he has inside-outside versatility. He will have to clean up some of his physicality to avoid flags at the next level. He will also have to refine his technique to stay with the more complex routes he'll see. But he is a strong culture and scheme fit for what Brian Flores is bringing to the defense.
The need at CB was obvious even before hiring Flores. The Vikings ranked 31st in passing yards allowed, 26th in Passing DVOA, and 24th in EPA allowed per pass attempt. Bringing in Byron Murphy helps. So do the healthy returns of Booth and Evans. But Murphy has not yet shown that he can be a consistently great player (or at least not markedly better than what we got out of Patrick Peterson last year). And Booth and Evans are unproven. Blackmon -- taken with the last pick on Day 2 -- is not expected to come in and be Jalen Ramsey or Sauce Gardner. But in a shift to a more aggressive man-coverage defense with a thin CB room, Blackmon is an upside player that will have every chance to take a starting spot on a porous defense. Trade: MIN gives 4.119 to KC for 4.134, 2024 5th\
| ||Jimmy Johnson ||Rich Hill ||Fitzgerald-Spielberger ||Harvard |
|Total give ||56 ||24 ||578 ||88 |
|Total get ||58.4 ||24 ||898 ||133 |
|Absolute Diff ||+2.4 ||0 ||+320 ||+45 |
|Percent Diff ||+4% ||0% ||+36% ||+34% |
On top of entering the weekend with a mere 5 draft picks in the current year, the Vikings also entered with a mere 5 draft picks in the 2024 class (3rd rounder traded for Hockenson, 5th rounder traded for Reagor). Dropping 15 picks in a relatively flat part of the draft while adding a mid-Day 3 pick is good business given this team's lack of capital.
*Here we assume a future pick in round n
is valued at the middle pick of round n+1
, not accounting for compensatory picks. In this case, a 2024 5th is equated to pick 176. 4.134 S Jay Ward, LSU Profile: Sr 6'0.5" 188lbs 32.5" Arm 8.25" Hand 76.875" Wing 4.55 40 1.54 10 34.5 VJ 11' BJ 4.35 Shuttle\
7.31 3c 16 Bench 6.70 RAS* 2022 Stats: 13 Gm 60 TKL 2.5 TFL 5 PD 1 INT 2 FR TD
Nate Tice: "A ton of fun. I just like this fit because of Brian Flores's defense. Just picture all of those mixture guys that the Patriots have used over the years... Jay Ward can be that"
A three year starter with reps at safety, slot, and outside CB, Ward is one of the most versatile players in the class. He possesses excellent length and movement skills. His experience at CB make him a fluid player in coverage. In the run game, Ward's size is a concern. His 188lbs Combine weight puts him in just the second percentile for safeties. This translates to issues with taking on blocks. He is a very aggressive player, beelining to the ball as soon as it's out. But his size coupled with his impatient playstyle lead to a lot of missed tackles. He was also flagged seven times last season.
In his final season in Miami, Flores was extremely creative with how he employed his safeties. Jevon Holland had the 2nd most blitzes in the league at the position. The number 1 player? His teammate Brandon Jones. With the defense taking on Flores's amoeba identity, an aggressive player with experience at multiple positions has the potential to find a role early on. The defense will look to utilize him similar to how Jevon Holland was used as a rookie. And with Harrison Smith well into the twilight of his career, Ward is a timely pick as the team attempts to thread the needle in their competitive rebuild. Trade: MIN gives 5.158, 6.211 to IND for 5.141
| ||Jimmy Johnson ||Rich Hill ||Fitzgerald-Spielberger ||Harvard |
|Total give ||32.4 ||13 ||722 ||103 |
|Total get ||36 ||15 ||492 ||74 |
|Absolute Diff ||+4 ||+2 ||-230 ||-29 |
|Percent Diff ||+10% ||+13% ||-47% ||-39% |
It's a bit strange to see Adofo-Mensah move away from the analytics charts in favor of the traditional ones, but the value swap here is not absurd. The real question with this trade will be if Roy ends up being a true contributor. 5.141 NT Jaquelin Roy, LSU Profile: Jr 6'3" 305lbs 32.75" Arm 10.125" Hand 78.125" Wing 5.13 40\
1.82 10* 26" VJ* 8'5" BJ* 5.00 Shuttle 8.01 3c 30 Bench 3.72 RAS* 2022 Stats: 13 Gm 49 TKL 3.5 TFL 0.5 SCK
Lance Zierlein: " The more you watch, the more you like the way Roy plays the game... Despite limited starting experience at LSU, he already displays signs of a rush plan and the athletic talent to execute it. Roy is an ascending talent with the potential to become a quality starter. "
After a 30 tackle, 1.5 sack campaign as a rotational player in 2021, Roy shifted from a penetrating 3T position to more of a traditional nose tackle under new HC Brian Kelly. This transition let Roy shine as a run stuffer. He eats space and is incredibly tough to move from his spot. He averaged almost 52 snaps a game in 2022 and his motor never let up. He has some work to do if he wants to be a three down player, particularly as a pass rusher. His bend and balance in this front are especially lacking.
The Vikings' front office seems to be a lot more comfortable with the current IDL room than I am. Harrison Phillips is a plus starter. Past that, the roster is filled with unproven youth or proven subpar players. As a 5th round pick, Roy has an uphill battle to separate himself from that group. But he's a good lottery ticket at this price. His positional versatility ensures that the defense can simply put their best players on the field. 5.164 QB Jaren Hall, BYU Profile: RSr 6'0" 207lbs 39.75" Arm 9.5" Hand 71.875" Wing 4.63 40\
1.59 10* 4.19 Shuttle* 7.06 3c* 7.96 RAS* 2022 Stats: 12 Gm 248 Comp 376 Att 66% Comp 3171 Yds 31 TD 6 INT 86 Rush 789 Rush Yds 9 RUsh TD
Kwesi Adofo-Mensah: "We added a really talented player that has a ton of upside... The ability to make decisions, throw the football accuracy, deal with conflict when it comes his way, and sometimes try to make a play outside the framework of the playcall. He does all those things at a really great level... That's an outstanding young man. I'd like to see him lead my team or any organization I'm a part of."
Despite being the third oldest prospect in the QB class, Hall only has 24 starts under his belt due to two years on religious mission and one year with a hip injury. But when Hall took over for Zach Wilson in 2021, he hit the ground running. BYU went 10-3 in that first year with Hall compiling a 4:1 TD:INT ratio. He is a two time team captain, and all reports of his character are off the charts.
Hall is a poised pocket passer capable of extending plays and picking up yardage on the ground. He was only sacked 12 times in 2022, which is a testament to both BYU's offensive line and Hall's ability to create under pressure. There are conflicting opinions on Hall's upside and arm strength, with Lance Zierlein calling his arm "unimpressive" while Kyle Crabbs claiming that hall has a "live arm with the ability to throw with juice off platform". Where there was near-universal agreement was in his understanding of the scheme, as Hall operated BYU's RPO-heavy offense like a machine. He has a clean release and quickly gets into a rhythm. His largest universal concerns are his age (he turned 25 in March) and his injury history (missed 20 games in the last 4 years). He also has ball security issues with 13 fumbles over his career.
I expected the Vikings to draft a QB in this class. The only question was if it would have been via a trade up on Day 1 or a flyer on Day 3 (or a falling Will Levis). With his age, size, and injury history, there are plenty of questions about what Hall can be. He will have a year in practice to put together his audition tape to be Kirk Cousins's replacement -- it's certainly a viable path for this team to take a RiddeHowell/Mills-esque year to evaluate Hall while they continue retooling the defense. But the more likely path is that Hall becomes a long-term backup for the team. Cousins has been the model of health, but that doesn't mean that QB2 is an unimportant position. Sean Mannion, Kellen Mond, and Nick Mullens have manned that position to various degrees over the past few years. None has shown that they can be a competent plug-in player if needed. There is some hope that Hall -- who operated the BYU offense with a mechanic efficiency -- can be that player. 7.222 RB DeWayne McBride, UAB Profile: Jr 5'10" 209lbs 30.625" Arms 9.5" Hands 73.125" Wing 20 Bench\
* 2022 Stats: 11 Gm 233 Att 1713 Yds 19 TD 7.4 Y/A 2 Rec 10 Rec Yds
Dane Brugler: "Overall, McBride is unproven as a pass catcher and blocker, which might restrict his NFL role, but his contact balance, vision and lateral agility are among the best this running back draft class has to offer"
In an era of advanced metrics and Combine showmanship, perhaps the trait that has gone underappreciated more than any other in RB scouting is balance. McBride may have the best balance in the entire RB class outside of Bijan Robinson. He comes from a heavy outside zone scheme at UAB, where he led the FBS in yards per game and set school records for single-game and single-season rushing. McBride absorbs contact like a sponge. His short area burst is strong, and he makes defenders miss with power and finesse. McBride has ideal size and toughness. His concerns are simple. He was not utilized as a receiver in college, and he had more career fumbles than catches in that time. McBride profiles as a two-down player at the next level. Although Adofo-Mensah has voiced his belief that McBride's passing game usage was a product of scheme rather than ability, McBride still has to prove that he is more than just a short yardage runner in the NFL.
After spending a pick in back to back years on RB and re-signing Mattison to a modest contract, RB was a bit of an unexpected pick for this regime. Dalvin Cook still seems to be movable (a likely cut candidate at this point), which would make this pick more logical. Chandler struggled with injuries as a rookie, but both he and Nwangwu profile more as speedy scatbacks than true between-the-tackle runners like Mattison. Even Mattison has never been a true three-down back. McBride plays much more similarly to Mattison than the other backs on the team. He will try to carve out a role behind him as the future thunder to the lightning provided by Chandler and Nwangwu.
UDFA FB Zach Ojile, Minnesota Duluth Profile: 6Sr 6'0" 241lbs 31.5" Arms 8.5" Hands 75.5" Wing 4.78 40\
1.79 10* 31" VJ* 9'1" BJ* 4.40 Shuttle* 31 Bench* 4.15 RAS* 2022 Stats: 11 Gm 12 Rush 53 Rush Yds 3 Rush TD 25 Rec 289 Rec Yds 5 Rec TD
A Twin Cities native, Ojile was a late addition to the roster, joining after a May rookie minicamp tryout. Ojile played LB, QB, FS, and RB in high school but found a role as an H-Back at UMD. He served as a team captain the past two seasons and finishes his collegiate career with over 1100 total yards and 24 total TDs. He was an All-Conference player for the DII NSIC Bulldogs. Whether Ojile participates at FB or TE, he'll need to prove his versatility to beat out the veterans on the depth chart. Working in his favor is Kevin O'Connell's shift to a more base-heavy offense in 2023. WR Cephus Johnson, Southeastern Louisiana Profile: 6Sr 6'4" 223lbs 33.25" Arm\
8.5" Hand* 78.625" WIng* 4.57 40* 1.59 10* 36.5" VJ* 10'1" BJ* 4.39 Shuttle* 7.25 3c* 18 Bench* 9.48 RAS* 2022 Stats: 11 Gm 184 Pass Att 65% Comp 1354 Pass Yds 10 Pass TD 5 INT 89 Rush 488 Rush Yds 5 Rush TD
Johnson is making the fulltime switch from QB to WR as he attempts to latch on to an NFL practice squad. He earned the starting role for South Alabama as a redshirt junior before transferring to SE Louisiana, where he took some snaps at WR in spring games. Johnson's stats were unimpressive as a starting QB, notching just 1354 yards and a 2:1 TD:INT ratio in 11 starts. He has good size and instincts as a runner, but he has basically no experience playing WR. WR Lucky Jackson, W Kentucky / XFL DC Defenders Profile: RSr 6'0" 179lbs 9.624" Hand\
32.25" Arm* 75.875" Wing** 2023 Stats: 10 Gm 36 Rec 572 Yds 5 TD 1 Fmb
Jackson last put on a college uniform before the pandemic for Western Kentucky, where his 2019 season saw him put up over 1100 yards on 94 receptions. Following his college days, Jackson spent time in the CFL and the Spring League before joining the XFL's DC Defenders and becoming an All-XFL receiver. WR Malik Knowles, Kansas St Profile: RSr 6'2" 196lbs 32.25" Arm 8.75" Hand 77.625" Wing 2022 Stats: 14 Gm 48 Rec 725 YDs 2 TD 8 Rush 164 Rush Yds 3 Rush TD 23 KR 592 KR Yds
Knowles is a vertical threat with good size and length. He offers value as a kick returner and leaves Kansas State with a top 5 rank in all-purpose yards. Knowles is an undeveloped route runner that struggles with quick change-of-direction. He also has trouble with press coverage. He'll need to prove his value on special teams, where he has plenty of collegiate experience as a kick returner. WR Grant Maag, North Dakota Profile: 5Sr 6'4" 206lbs 9.25" Hand\
31.875" Arm* 77.625" Wing* 4.49 40YD* 1.60 10YS* 40.5" VJ* 10'5" BJ* 4.34 Shuttle* 6.90 3c* 8.50 RAS* 2022 Stats: 12 Gm 41 Rec 540 Yds 5 TDs
Maag was brought in following the announcement of Ben Ellefson's retirement. He is an Inver Grove Heights native and a graduate of St Croix Lutheran in St Paul. He leaves North Dakota with over 2000 yards over his five years and served as a team captain the past two seasons. His size gives him an advantage with a shorter WR group ahead of him, but Maag is a far cry from a roster lock. WR Thayer Thomas, NC State Profile: 6Sr 6'0" 198lbs 9" Hand\
30.125" Arm* 73.5" Wing 4.56 40* 1.63 10* 37" VJ* 10' BJ* 4.03 Shuttle* 6.93 3c* 15 Bench* 7.85 RAS* 2022 Stats: 13 Gm 57 Rec 642 Yds 4 TDs 2 Rush Att 44 Rush Yds 1 Rush TD 17 PR 128 PR Yds
A multisport athlete that was drafted by the Red Sox in 2019, Thomas walked onto the Wolfpack football team and got onto the field any way he could. In 2018, he saw work as a receiver, punt returner, and passer. Thomas has good hands (a career drop rate of 4%) and a high work ethic, but he is an undeveloped route runner that struggles to create much after the catch. He will need to prove his worth on special teams if he wants to make the roster. TE Ben Sims, Baylor Profile: RSr 6'4" 250lbs 33.125" Arm\
9.5" Hand* 80.125" Wing* 4.58 40YD* 1.56 10YS 36" Vert* 10'2" Broad* 4.41 Shuttle* 7.46 3c* 15 Bench* 8.40 RAS* 2022 Stats: 12 Gm 31 Rec 255 Yds 3 TDs 2 Drops 1 Rush TD
Sims projects as a blocking tight end with limited ability as a receiver. He's a patient run blocker with good balance and toughness, but he is still cleaning up some technique. He isn't a creator with the ball in his hands and his tape fails to demonstrate the explosiveness that his testing suggests. OL Alan Ali, TCU Profile: RSr 6'4" 301lbs 32.875" Arm 9.5" Hand 77.625" Wing 5.23 40\
1.89 10* 26.5" VJ 8'5" BJ* 4.91 Shuttle* 7.94 3c* 3.80 RAS*
A 5 year starter for TCU and SMU, Ali is a fundamentally sound center prospect with good body control and core strength. He has experience playing at all 5 OL positions but spent most of the past 4 years at center. His lack of athleticism and length are likely the reason he went undrafted. OT Jacky Chen, Pace Profile: RSr 6'5 1/4" 299lbs 10" Hand\
34.5" Arm* 80.75" Wing* 5.41 40* 1.81 10* 29" VJ* 8'10" BJ* 4.74 Shuttle* 7.90 3c* 24 Bench* 5.39 RAS*
It's hard to find very much information on an undrafted lineman from a DII school whose toughest opponent was the University of New Haven. Chen is an OT prospect that is viewed as a ball of clay. Chen's 40 yard dash and 3 cone were underwhelming to say the least, but he was an above average tester in burst and explosiveness drills. That combined with his length make him an interesting project. EDGE Andre Carter II, Army Profile: Sr 6'6.5" 256lbs 9.375" Hand 33.275" Arm 81 Wing 4.91 40\
1.65 10* 30" VJ 9'1" BJ 4.36 Shuttle 6.97 3c* 11 Bench 6.29 RAS* 2022 Stats: 10 Gm 41 TKL 7 TFL 3.5 SCK 2 PD
The highest profile UDFA signing of the class, Carter was getting 1st round buzz this time last year
. At that time, Carter was coming off an 18.5 TFL / 15.5 sack season. However, Carter struggled to repeat his production as a senior, notching just 3.5 sacks. Carter finished out the draft cycle with lackluster testing, failing to run under a 4.90 in the 40 yard dash and weighing in at a mere 256 lbs -- a big concern given his 81 inch wingspan and towering stature. Carter has a ton of upside, but he doesn't have the frame to be a real NFL player right now. After 4 years training to be an officer in the US Army, he will need at least one season (maybe more) in an NFL weight room where he can focus on building muscle mass. He'll look to follow the mold of fellow Army player Alejandro Villanueva, who added 43 lbs to his 277 lbs frame entering the league before becoming a 7-year starter. Luckily, he joined the team with one of the best training facilities in the league. EDGE Junior Aho, SMU Profile: 6'2" 260lbs 9" Hand 33.875" Arm 79.875" Wing 4.58 40\
1.66 10* 33.5" VJ* 10'3" BJ* 4.90 Shuttle* 7.38 3c* 9.38 RAS* 2022 Stats: 13 Gm 23 TKL 2 TFL 2 SCK 1 FF
Quite simply, Aho is an athletic freak that should find his way onto the team thanks to the International Player Pathway roster spot. He takes pride in his speed and athleticism, but he also understands the limitations to his game. Aho was a solid rotational player for SMU. He will look to follow in the footsteps of other International Pathway players like Efe Obada and Jordan Mailata. DT Calvin Avery, Illinois Profile: RSr 6'1" 343 lbs 10" Hand\
32.5" Arm 81.87" Wing 5.37 40* 1.84 10* 30.5" VJ* 8'5" BJ* 8.01 3c* 31 Bench* 3.12 RAS* 2022 Stats: 13 Gm 23 TKL 2 TFL 1 PD
Avery is a former four star recruit out of Texas, earning snaps in 12 games as a true freshman. He started 12 games in 2022, primarily at nose tackle. He has a wide, large frame that makes him hard to move. However, he is an underwhelming athlete to say the least, and his statistical production is nearly non-existent. LB Abraham Beauplan, Marshall Profile: RSr 5'11" 241 lbs 9.25" Hand 31.75" Arm 77 1/4" Wing 4.62 Shuttle 35.5" VJ 9'9" BJ 7.33 3c 22 Bench 4.52 RAS 2022 Stats: 12 Gm 66 TKL 6.5 TFL 1 SCK 3 PD
Beauplan started the draft process by making an appearance on Bruce Feldman's Freaks List, reportedly squatting as much as 565 lbs and benching as much as 285. The few reports that exist on Beauplan suggest he's an urgent, downhill run defender that will look to carve out a role on special teams early on. LB Wilson Huber, Cincinnati Profile: 6Sr 6'4" 241lbs 9.75" Hand 32.375" Arm\
80" Wing* 4.70 40* 1.66 10* 35" VJ* 10'4" BJ* 4.45 Shuttle* 6.91 3c* 18 Bench* 8.34 RAS* 2022 Stats: 13 Gm 54 TKL 6.5 TFL 1 SCK 1 PD
A 3 star recruit out of Indiana, Huber started his career at Cincinnati as a TE. He played a hybrid role in his first 2 non-redshirt seasons, earning snaps on offense, defense, and special teams. He made a full role switch to the defensive side of the ball in 2020 and eventually earned the team captain moniker in 2022. Huber had some solid testing despite profiling as more of a thumper. LB Ivan Pace Jr, Cincinnati Profile: Sr 5'10.5" 231lbs 30.25" Arm 9.5" Hand 72" Wing 4.59 40\
1.70 10* 35" VJ 9'8" BJ* 4.40 Shuttle * 7.18 3c* 22 Bench* 5.71 RAS* 2022 Stats: 13 Gm 137 TKL 21.5 TFL 10 SCK 3 FF 4 PD
Ranked the 11th best LB for Daniel Jeremiah, 9th for Dane Brugler, and 7th for PFF, many thought Pace could have gone as early as Round 3. Pace was a one year starter for the Bearcats after transferring from Miami (Ohio), and he hit the ground running. He led the AAC in tackles and TFLs. He is a smaller player (although not abnormally so in today's game) that plays with his hair on fire. He gives tremendous effort on every play and is always around the ball. Pace is a super tough player that loves to tackle. His size is a concern; he gets washed out of plays too easily. He is also lacking in coverage skills, struggling to stay connected in man coverage. Still, it's incredible that Pace went undrafted. He's an easy special teams projection as a rookie with the upside to be put in position to win under Flores. CB CJ Coldon, Oklahoma Profile: 6Sr 5'10" 186lbs\
8.375" Hand* 31.125" Arm* 75.125" Wing* 4.60 40* 1.58 10* 37 1/2" VJ* 10'5" BJ* 4.24 Shuttle* 7.31 3c* 3.92 RAS* 2022 Stats: 12 Gm 42 TKL 2 TFL 4 INT 6 PBU
Coldon is an instinctual football player that relies on his feel to create ball production. He spent 5 years at Wyoming before transferring to Oklahoma and leading the team in INTs and PBUs. In zone, Coldon watches the QB and looks for the right cue to understand when and where the ball is headed. CB NaJee Thompson, Georgia Southern Profile: 5'10" 200lbs 9.125" Hand 32.75" Arm 76.625" Wing 4.57 40\
1.63 10* 32" VJ* 9'8" BJ* 4.56 Shuttle* 7.40 3c* 13 Bench* 1.59 RAS* 2022 Stats: 13 Gm 37 TKL 1 TFL 11 PD 1 INT
Thompson's love for the game is undeniable. After struggling to latch onto the Georgia Southern WR room, Thompson approached his head coach asking to be exclusively a special teams player. He relishes being a gunner on punts. He eventually got moved to CB in 2021, logging 557 snaps at the position in 2022. He's undeveloped at the position, but his special teams prowess gives him a good shot at the roster. CB Jaylin Williams, Indiana Profile: RSr 5'9" 184lbs 9.125" Hand 29.875" Arm 71.75" Wing 4.43 40\
1.58 10* 34.5" BJ* 9'11" BJ* 4.20 Shuttle* 7.01 3c* 13 Bench* 5.54 RAS* 2022 Stats: 10 Gm 40 TKL 2.5 TFL 7 PD 1 FR 1 BLK
A longtime role player for the Hoosiers before becoming a fulltime starter in 2019, Williams's 6 career INTs were the most amongst active players on the team last season. He earned second team All-Confernece honors in 2020 and was an honorable mention in 2021. K Jack Podlesny, Georgia Profile: RSr 6'0" 195lbs 29.25" Arms 9" Hands 74.75" Wing 2022 Stats: 31 Att 26 Made 50 Long 109 Kickoff 72 Touchbacks 74 PAT Att 73 PAT Made
Ranked as Dane Brugler's 4th kicker and Lance Zierlein's 3rd kicker, Podlesny enters Vikings camp following a career that saw him walk on to Georgia's football team and finish with an 82% hit rate. He hit all but one extra point last season for the national champion Bulldogs. A concern with Podlesny is his leg strength. His accuracy beyond 40 yards falls to just 54%. His clutchness may also come into question as he missed two kicks in the national championship semifinals against Ohio State.
Projected Depth Chart
Pos (Projected 2023 Rostered Count / 2022 Rostered Count): Starter
QB (2/2): Kirk Cousins
, Jaren Hall,
RB (4/4): Alexander Mattison
, Kene Nwangwu, Ty Chandler, DeWayne McBride,
FB (1/1): CJ Ham
WR (5/5): Justin Jefferson
, KJ Osborn
, Jordan Addison
, Jalen Nailor, Brandon Powell,
TE (3/3): TJ Hockenson
, Josh Oliver, Johnny Mundt,
OL (9/10): Christian Darrisaw
, Ezra Cleveland
, Garrett Bradbury
, Ed Ingram
, Brian O'Neill
, Chris Reed, Austin Schlottman, Oli Udoh, Blake Brandel,
DT (7/6): Harrison Phillips
, Dean Lowry
, Jonathan Bullard
, James Lynch, Esezi Otomewo, Jaquelin Roy, Khyiris Tonga,
EDGE (4/5): Danielle Hunter
, Marcus Davenport
, Pat Jones II, DJ Wonnum,
Andre Carter II
ILB (4/4): Jordan Hicks
, Brian Asamoah
, Troy Reeder, Ivan Pace Jr,
CB (5/6): Byron Murphy
, Andrew Booth
, Akayleb Evans
, Mekhi Blakmon, Joejuan Williams,
S (5/4): Harrison Smith
, Lewis Cine
, Jay Ward, Josh Metellus, Camryn Bynum,
K (1/1): Greg Joseph
P (1/1): Ryan Wright
LS (1/1): Andrew DePaola
KR: Kene Nwangwu
PR: Brandon Powell
2024 Needs Starters Needed:
QB, OG, EDGE, DT -- Whether due to expiring contracts (Cousins, Cleveland, Davenport, Hunter) or overall suckitude (Ingram, Lowry), we need to find new starters at this positions in 2024. Could we go on with average-level free agents? Maybe. Should we? Maybe not. We'll see how the group plays:
CB, LB, RB -- These are positions where the front office is counting on young players (Booth, Evans, Asamoah) to fill the roles of departed starters. If those players take that step up, these positions drop on the needs list. Otherwise, we're in for a rough season. Depth needed:
WR -- The depth after Jefferson, Osborn, and Addison is not great. And Osborn is entering a contract year. Unless Keenan McCardell works some magic with Jalen Nailor or Trishton Jackson or Thayer Thomas, this should be a position we add to next year.
Final Thoughts Versatility.
When we look at this Vikings draft class, that's the first word that comes to mind, and it comes in big bold letters. Addison has inside-outside versatility. So does Mekhi Blackmon. Jay Ward is the most versatile of the group, capable of playing every DB position plus some spot snaps at LB. Roy has been productive everywhere from 0T to 4i. And the team has talked about how much they believe McBride can contribute as a pass catcher on top of his bruiser mindset as a between-the-tackles runner.
On offense, this shift seems to stem from a philosophical change following the TJ Hockenson acquisition last year. O'Connell's unit went from trying to copy-paste Sean McVay's outside zone scheme (largely a 3WR offense) to Kyle Shanahan's outside zone scheme (largely a TE-FB offense). And in that mold, O'Connell was looking for players he could use to create the illusion of complexity. That is, how can we employ versatile players to present defenses the threat of multiplicity?
On defense, the answer is a lot simpler. By bringing over Brian Flores, the team is hoping for a jolt in tenacity and an overall move to a hybrid amoeba scheme. You can look historically at how Bill Belichick has utilized flexibility in his defenses to maximize his gameplan for whatever offensive scheme is next on the menu. You can look at players on the line of scrimmage that have experience in both 43 and 34 schemes (Hunter, Phillips, Lynch, Bullard). And in the secondary, look no further than the selection of Jay Ward as an attempt to clone players like Jevon Holland and Kyle Dugger.
As Adofo-Mensah has repeatedly said, he approaches his job with humility. He listens to those around him and he finds the point where stories marry data to make informed decisions. And in O'Connell, he found someone who shares that mentality. With the emphasis on versatility, that mindset can now be applied on a weekly (and play-by-play) basis to opponents. We'll see how successful that strategy is as the team continues to straddle the line between competitive and rebuilder, but there is certainly an energy around the fanbase with the continued success of the offense and the addition of Brian Flores.
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2023.06.07 14:26 Noblesse311 Character Concept : HMS Conqueror (S48)
Repeat Valiant/Churchill-class Nuclear-powered Attack Submarine (Submarine in-game)
The third and final ship of the Churchill-class (also known as the Repeat Valiants as it featured many internal improvements, but outwardly looked about the same as the preceding Valiant-class Nuclear-Powered Submarines) HMS Conqueror
) was ordered on 9 August 1966 and was laid down at the Cammell Laird Shipyard at Birkenhead, at the time in the County of Cheshire, England, on 5 December 1967. She was launched on 28 August 1969 and commissioned into the Royal Navy on 9 November 1971, the final nuclear-powered submarine to be completed by Cammell Laird. (all future Royal Navy submarines would be exclusively built by Vickers Shipyard)
Conqueror’s career between commissioning in 1971 and the Falklands War in 1982 was largely uneventful, with the only thing of note being the replacement of her Type 2001 sonar array with a Type 2020 version and a Type 2026 towed array that could be let out and retrieved sometime in the late 1970s. It was also around this time that the sub would be captained by Cmdr. Chris Wreford-Brown.
Upon the outbreak of the Falklands War in April 1982, Conqueror would be among many British submarines that were deployed to the South Atlantic (including sister ship HMS Courageous), departing Faslane Naval Base in Scotland on 3 April, and arriving at the Falklands exclusion zone on 24 April, exactly three weeks later. She was tasked with scanning the area for Argentine shipping, in particular, Argentina’s light aircraft carrier ARA Veinticinco de Mayo (formerly HMS Venerable). On 30 April, Conqueror spotted the Brooklyn-class Light Cruiser ARA General Belgrano (formerly the USS Phoenix) sailing southwest of the Falklands outside of the exclusion zone. However, with 25 de Mayo approaching the islands from the north, the commander of the HMS Hermes task force, Rear Adm. John “Sandy” Woodward, fearing a pincer attack between the two ships, requested permission from his superiors to sink Belgrano. That permission, after some debate, would be granted by Adm. Sir John Fieldhouse and the order to engage was sent to HMS Conqueror, in the interim, Belgrano would retire from its attack vector and head west, a move that made later events incite controversy, although both Belgrano’s captain and the Argentine government would acknowledge that the attack was a legitimate act of war.
On 2 May, Conqueror would launch three Mark 8 torpedoes \
1]) at Belgrano, with two of them striking the ship and exploding. Twenty minutes later, the cruiser was rapidly sinking and abandoned by her crew. General Belgrano was unable to send a mayday signal, due to electrical failure and poor visibility, which meant that the two escorting destroyers, ARA Piedra Buena (formerly Sumner-class USS Collett) and ARA Bouchard (formerly Sumner-class USS Borie) would not find out about Belgrano’s sinking until hours after the latter sank, taking 323 men with her. The sinking of the Belgrano was a notable one, as it was the second time since the end of World War II that a submarine sank an enemy warship \
2]), but it was the first (and at the time of writing only) nuclear-powered attack sub to do the deed. The Bouchard was also believed to be hit by Conqueror’s third torpedo. Though Conqueror would not again fire her torpedoes in anger, having had to evade the efforts of the Argentine Air Force (FAA) to locate and sink the submarine, she would spend the remainder of the war helping the task force by using sophisticated monitoring equipment to track FAA aircraft. Belgrano’s sinking also shocked both the Argentine people and military junta, and contributed to the Argentine Navy’s role being significantly reduced for the remainder of the conflict, and in turn, contributed to Argentina’s defeat in the Falklands War.
After the war, HMS Conqueror would return to Faslane flying a Jolly Roger, a customary act of Royal Navy submarines after achieving a kill. Said Jolly Roger would feature an atom, a cross torpedo pattern, a dagger and the outline of a cruiser, representing Conqueror being an SSN, the weapon used for the sinking, the secretive nature in the operation and the hull type for the kill respectively. This banner can be found at the Royal Navy Submarine Museum in Gosport in South East England.
Her post war career would also see some notable moments. Later in 1982, Conqueror would take part in Operation Barmaid, an operation to raid and capture a Soviet passive towed scanner array that was towed by a Polish-flagged vessel. Conducted as a joint Anglo-American operation just outside Soviet territorial waters, the sub used cutters affixed to her bow to shear off the 3” (76mm) thick wire before silently returning to base on the Clyde. On 2 July 1988, Conqueror collided with the Dalriada, an Army Sail Training Association yacht. Its four crewmen would be rescued, but the yacht sank.
Conqueror was decommissioned on 2 August 1990, with the submarine’s periscope, captain’s cabin and main control panel joining her Jolly Roger at the Royal Navy Submarine Museum. At the time of writing, she is currently housed at Devonport, County Devon, one of twenty nuclear subs housed there by the Ministry of Defense awaiting final disposal. \
1]: While HMS Conqueror was equipped with the newer Tigerfish torpedoes, the Mark 8, a venerable design dating back to the interwar era, was far more reliable and used instead.) \
2]: The first instance would occur during the Third Indo-Pakistani War eleven years prior when PNS Hangor, a Daphné-class Submarine used by the Pakistani Navy, sank INS Khukri, a Blackwood-class Frigate in an instance that also marked the only instance to date of an Indian Navy warship sinking to enemy action since independence in 1947.)
A conqueror is a person who conquers.
As a nuclear powered submarine, Conqueror sports a superb Torpedo Stat (S), a decent HP stat compared to their WW2 counterparts (B) and a superb speed stat (A). As a Cold War submarine that has no guns, she has no firepower stat.
- Her Majesty’s Silent Service: If sortied with at least one other Royal Navy Submarine/SSN, increase the critical chance of all Torpedoes this or any Royal Navy SS/SSN launches by 3% (8%) and increase the critical damage dealt by 15% (25%).
- Setting the Sun of May: Increase damage done to Sol de Mayo (ARA) warships by 15% (30%) and increase damage done to Light Cruisers by 25% (45%). For every ship this submarine sinks, increase the damage dealt by 1% (2%) with its cap at 10% (20%) until the submarine withdraws.
- The Empire Strikes Back: When this ship arrives at attack position and again when retreating from battle, launch a unique, defense ignoring torpedo barrage, damage based on skill level.
Conqueror (S48) could be best described as someone who has a Sugar-and-Ice Personality (or in Anime jargon, a Kuudere). On the outside, she is cold, aloof and professional, dedicated to her missions and largely keeps to herself. Once one gets to know her better, she shows herself to be more optimistic and warm, if a bit socially awkward.
- Acquisition: My name is Conqueror. I am the sub that sank the General Belgrano during the war of the South Atlantic. If there is nothing else to add, can I get going now?
- Secretary (Idle) 1: Focus on your work. You wouldn’t want to disappoint anyone, do you?
- Secretary (Idle) 2: I am simply doing my duty, I’m not interested in what other people think or praise about me.
- Secretary (Idle) 3: Always stay on guard, don’t make such careless mistakes.
- Secretary (Touch): What requests do you want of me?
- Secretary (Special Touch): I honestly hope your libido matches your skill in battle.
- Skill Activation: Neutralizing target…
- Affinity (Disappointed): Such a waste of time, you are.
- Affinity (Stranger): If you wish to be useful, then tell me the next objective you wish to see done. I don’t have all day.
- Affinity (Friendly): If you want my honest truth about the war, I spent thirteen years for the opportunity to do what I did. I didn’t want to foul it up.
- Affinity (Like): I’m…not much of a talker. I don’t have anything to talk about here so…what do you like to do in your free time?
- Affinity (Love): Whenever I need to go out to battle, I try to keep my cool, and I’m still good at what I do, but the way you make me feel…hmm…I wonder…
- Oath: This ceremony is just like the one on the return to Faslane. Last time I thought nothing of it, but now…with you here…
- Sortie (Churchill): You’re a good talker when you should be hunting stealthily.
- Sortie (Conqueror (World of Warships)): Heroes aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.
- Sortie (Phoenix and/or General Belgrano): Sunrise, sunset. As all things should be.
Conqueror is depicted as a girl in her mid-teens with golden yellow hair tied in pig-tails that extend down to her elbows, and ruby red eyes. Her attire is largely inspired by the equipment utilized by the Special Boat Squadron (now known as the Special Boat Service) during the early 1980s, and in particular during the Falklands War. She wears a black skin-tight one-piece wetsuit that covers her entire body, with the cut offs being around her hands and halfway down to the calves of her legs. Among her equipment is a snorkel on her right shoulder, though not worn, and comes with a L9A1 Browning Hi-Power pistol in her left hand. In addition, Conqueror wears a red crystal around her neck in the shape and style of Phoenix’s tie at the end of her hair, symbolizing a prize for sinking her in the Falklands War.
Her rigging is largely the same as her submarine model, but functions as a one-man Submarine Delivery Vehicle for which she rides on top, with the control mechanism being on two handles on each side of the sail (akin to how I-56 operates her rigging)
This sub was suggested to me by u/A444SQ
, I hope you enjoyed this rendition of Conqueror as I did making it.
The historical HMS Conqueror (or rather the last iteration of her) is a fascinating ship and one that I figure would be deserving of its UR spot given its single defining achievement. But this would also be my first UR submarine (at least my first not named Alicorn which is OP even by Ace Combat standards) and with nothing to base it on, it's difficult and might actually be a bit underpowered by comparison. It is what it is I suppose.
As always, if you want to suggest a ship or retrofit in the future, please leave it in the comments below, you can also reach me via DM's to make your suggestions as well. We're returning to Operation Weissenburg next time with Tier VIII Battlecruiser, a design dating to March 1918 but was depicted by WeeGee to be developed in 1944, with their take on Schnelle Großekampfschiffe 4531, KMS Zieten.
Link to the list of ships
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