Forever one moissanite pendant

Introduction
The short story you are about to read was created/inspired/based on a variety of sources related to or about Aniara. Aniara rock opera (Seventh Wonder) - The Great Escape, the Aniara wikipedia page, the Aniara film, poem etc. So if you read something and it sounds familiar, it's probably because it comes from or is based on, one of those sources. I have also tried to incorporate some of the thoughts and ideas expressed here on aniara, so some of you may see that reflected. I have not read everything that has to do with the Aniara universe, but I have found many of the resources listed on aniara very helpful in creating this short story. Thank you for those. I have also included a couple alternate endings.
Also, this story belongs to everyone, so everyone should feel free to to fill in the blanks, add to, subtract, or change any part of the story, in anyway they see fit.
I dedicate this short story to all the fans of Aniara, this story is for you and of course the late Harry Martinson.
Like many people who watched the film 'Aniara', I was mesmerized/traumatized by it. It really had a profound effect on me. So much so that I decided to write this fan fiction short story. I am not a writer. The short story that you are about to read is my (very) amateurish tribute to the film. I apologize in advance for all of the grammaspelling and other errors. Despite the (many) flaws of this short work, I hope that you can see what I was attempting to do. Anyway without further or do, I present to you:
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The Lost Voices of Aniara: A Space Saga
WE CROWN THE SKIES WITH OUR TIARA, THE LIFE AND FATE OF ANIARA
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Note: The following represents the most complete (so far) chronicle of events that happened onboard the Aniara.
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Year 18 - Song of Melancholy - My name is Benjamin Jenkins, but everyone calls me "Benny", I am proud to announce that I am the new "Captain" of the mighty space "cruise ship" Aniara. Of course, my title could just as easily be the Admiral of Mars or the Conquer of the Universe, or some other ridiculous sounding grandiose title. Sometimes you must laugh in the face of despair otherwise you will go insane. It's all just for fun of course. I was given the title "Captain" by the crew because I was able to restore the communications transmitter. At least I think I was able to retore it? The lights show green for transmitting, so yeah I bet it works, and besides, all of this is being recorded for posterity and it will be placed in a time/memorial capsule. After that the capsule will be sent in the (general) direction of Mars/Home, where hopefully someone finds it. I'm also the Senior Maintenance Tech in charge of repairing/prolonging various ship systems, etc. There are now only a few remaining livable areas of the ship so it's not as much work as one might imagine. And to think 18 years ago, I was just an ordinary passenger, how far through the ranks I've come! As the "Captain" I will now recount the entire history of the Aniara, the various events, the everyday happenings, from the awe inspiring and amazing, to the boring and mundane, great triumphs and crushing defeats, all the feelings of happiness and joy that come with new life and all of the sorrows and despair that come from (too) many deaths and (too) many hardships. All of our great accomplishments, setbacks and everything in between will be laid bare before the entire universe to witness. Our love, our hate, our dreams, our wants and desires, disappointments, anger and fear but above all our HOPE. Our precious HOPE, the only thing we have left, which has kept us alive for so long. Our HOPE that this message will be received, that someone, somewhere will know our story and our struggle, our HOPE that Mars will be successfully terraformed into the paradise that we all know it can be and our HOPE that Earth will be restored to the paradise that it once was. It's all here, it's all being recorded for the future. I will start our saga from the very beginning of our trip all those years ago...
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Hour 1 - Routine Voyage - Well, this is it! Soon I and many others will make a new home on Mars... of course if we hadn't ruined the first one...
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Week 3 - Without a Map/A Slight Detour - Today the Captain made an announcement that there would be a slight detour in our trip. In order to avoid a collision with space debris, (which would have destroyed the ship) we had to veer off course. Some of the debris hit the nuclear reactor (a very rare event), which forced the crew to eject all of the ship's fuel. The Captain told everyone that we will be able to resume our trip to Mars once the ship passes a celestial body, which should (probably) happen in about two years. Everyone is (understandably) disgruntled by this unfortunate news. As for me I have no one waiting for me on Mars so it's not as bad.
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Year 2 - Wait and See - After several long months of trying out all of the various amusements and other distractions, I was starting to get bored, so I spoke with one of the senior crew members and asked if I could volunteer to do something, anything. Also a job would help keep my mind off our current situation.
Today, my request to work was approved and now I'm part of the crew. My job is to do general maintenance tasks around the ship. I also help take care of the algae, which are used to supply the ship with oxygen and food. It's not a very challenging task, in fact I find it very tedious, but the algae are crucial for the ship's survival, so it gives me a sense of purpose and on top of that I also earn extra points.
Eventually, because of my (part time) job in maintenance, I would come to know every nook and cranny of the Aniara. On one particular day I noticed a slight problem (Electrostatic Diffusion Impaction or EDI) with the ship's air filtration mechanism. I was quick to inform my supervisor about the issue and together we fixed it immediately. If I hadn't spotted the problem, it could have gotten much worse and that would have been catastrophic for the crew and passengers. Afterwards my supervisor bought me a shot of (rationed) Dutch brandy. Other than that, nothing of note has really happened. Everyone is basically in a holding pattern.
One last thing. I've heard a disturbing rumor that there is no celestial body for us to turn around at... If this is true then, that would mean... But for now all we can do now is wait and see...
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Year 3 - The Yurg/The Passing of Mima - A memorial was set up to honor the end of Mima. So much joy had she given us. On the wall among the thousands of drawings, pictures, and sad goodbye letters was a poem that went like this:
We sit and stare at all the marvels that she brings us.
Mima lead the way.
Shine your light!
Be the beacon of hope at night.
Perfect grace in the barren house of space.
Shine your light!
Blind us when reality bites.
We so need the magic she does.
Many rumors are going around about what happened to Mima. People say that the Mimarobe (MR) was the one that ended up causing Mima to die. As for me, personally, I don't believe it. The Mimarobe just didn't seem like the type. A few times after I got off from work, when I walked to the end of the long line of people waiting to see Mima, the Mimarobe would come out and say "Ok, everyone that's it that's enough for today, you have to leave now, sorry." My own personal opinion is that she was just trying to give Mima a break, so even though I was of course disappointed, I completely understood. Sometimes we all just need a break. Sometimes things just get to you and you start to feel overwhelmed. I understood the feeling. Mima was like us in that way. Anyway, Rightly or wrongly the Mimarobe was locked up in the ships brig, her and another woman, I think she was one of the pilots, Isabella\, I think was her name but I might be wrong. Oh well, our lives must go on, much sadder of course, but that's life, I guess. ****Isagel, the pilots name was Isagel, her and the Mimarobe would later become a couple.
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Year 4 - The Cults - Strange things have started happening. Various cults have sprung up all over the ship with bizarre and strange names. One of these (that I am a member of) is called the ゴールデンサンライト・フォーエバー・クラブ - Gōrudensanraito Fōeba Kurabu - which roughly means the Golden Sunlight Forever Club. Some of these phony cults are/were created as a disguise to have outrageous sex orgies. The cult that I am part of is one of these. (HELL YEAH!). The other cults are very boring, stare out the window and worship the stars or something like that, types. (Glad I'm not a member of those!).
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Year 5 - The Calculation - A few weeks ago I met someone special (Carmen) at one of the "worship" services. I've seen her before a few times, but this is the first time that we "connected" and it was amazing. I'm glad that she accepts my physical imperfections (burns scars). Now we are a couple and have left the cult.
Fantastic news! The Captain has announced that an Emergency Refuel Rescue Probe is on its way! The news of the rescue probe has had an electrifying effect on the crew and passengers. Everyone is so excited that no one even cares that we will have to wait just over a year for it to get to us. People are starting to clean and pick up trash again, and the sex clubs and other cults are starting to go away (in anticipation of a return to proper civilization). Now we have hope again! Thank GOD!
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Year 6 - The Spear - The rescue probe is almost here. (Only one week away!) I also have even more great news! My girlfriend fiancée is pregnant!, now I will be a Father just like I always wanted! I have spoken to Captain Chefone and he has agreed that he will marry us on the day that the Aniara turns around and heads (finally) back to Mars/our new HOME! Even though it will take us several more years to get back, it will have been worth it to me. I am grateful for the "slight detour" we had to endure, because it allowed me to meet the love of my life! Now with our precious child on the way, I am truly happy. PURE JOY - beyond all words...
Something is wrong... After an entire year of training and preparation, the crew has successfully grappled the refuel probe and brought it on board. Everyone expected that within a few days, (a week at most) that we would turn around, but it's been three weeks and nothing. Every day the passengers ask the crew what's going on? When will we turn around? and every day we get the same answer: "Soon, everything is going according to plan, just be patient." People are starting to doubt and lose hope. I even walked right up to Captain Chefone but he knew what I was going to ask and he brushed me aside very angrily saying "Not now, I'm busy!". Now I don't know what to think. One minute I have a future and the next nothing. How can this be? I don't understand! WHY?
Catastrophe! After work I went straight to my quarters to sleep, it had been an exhausting day. Just after I fell asleep, I was awakened by a rumbling. Then, over the speaker came the announcement: Return immediately to your cabins and fasten your seat belts! Since I was already in bed, and had no idea what was going on, I quickly fastened my belt. When it was all over [missing] passengers and crew left. I was told that it happened because of something called "bow shock", which [missing] kind of like a shock wave. The bow shock had badly damaged many systems. [missing] so now I've been "promoted" to Senior Maintenance Tech. Repairs must [missing] don't have any more spare parts for [missing] so many are dead...
Today the Mimarobe completed her beam-screen project. So now when you look outside you can see beautiful waterfalls and green fields etc. I try not to look at it too much. For me its just too painful...
Year 7 - The Fall of Heaven - Today marks the one year anniversary of the arrival of the so-called "Emergency Refuel Rescue Probe". What a very official and grand sounding name for a giant stupid looking dart or as some call it "The Spear". I've even heard some people refer to it as the "Devil's Javelin", but whatever you call it, it's of no use to us. The Astronomer had once told me before she died "supposedly" from a heart attack, (rumors say she was murdered by the captain, I don't doubt it) that all the work and tests they had done on the probe were useless and that even the hardest drills were simply ground into dust without even making so much as a scratch on the probe. Despite a literal barrage of tests and every possible experiment known, even using our most advanced lasers, they had achieved NOTHING! That was the moment I realized that we would never make it home. I even visted "The Spear" once, it was years after all the experiments had ended. There was a time when the area was heavily guarded by the crew and only authorized personnel were allowed in. Of course when I went to see it nobody was around, nobody cared, everyone had given up on it long ago. I saw all of the black marks from what must have been hundreds, if not thousands of desperate attempts to get inside it, or just to figure out what the damn thing was supposed to be. On the floor all around it were small heaps of black and silver metalic dust, remnants of our strongest and hardest drills, remnants of our hope. Our best and brightest couldn't even figure out what it was made of, let alone figure out how to use it to take us home.
I beat my hands against it over and over and I cried out my pain and anger at it. "You were supposed to save us!" "You were supposed to take us home!" You Damn! stupid thing, help us! save us!" But of course it was all useless my cries went unanswered, all I did was injure my hands and hurt my soul, assuming I even have one. After that I (I'm ashamed to admit it)... in complete and total desperation... I got down on my hands and knees in front of it and begged it to save us. "Oh, great magic spear, please save us and I will do anything, anything..."
After I had exhausted and humiliated myself I got up and went back to my quarters broken and alone. All hope was lost before my visit with "the spear" and afterwords it didn't even exist, not even as a word, as though there had never even been such a thing or concept as "hope".
I had been struck by the spear, just like everyone else, head on. My now ex-fiancée and I have split up. Things just weren't the same after the procedure. I don't blame her at all for our break-up, after talking about it, we agreed that if there was now no chance for us to make it home then... what was the point? I went with her when she had the procedure done. But before we went I secretly met with the doctor who would perform the operation and told her what I wanted done after. She told me that I was sick... that it was "disgusting", and what did I plan on doing with "it". I told her that it shouldn't matter, none of this matters, then I pulled out an EFR (emergency food ration). EFRs could remain edible for an indefinite period of time. (In theory they could last for hundreds of years.) Here I said, "one now and one when I get what I want". The doctor was stunned, I knew what she was going to say and I interrupted her and said,"Unlike everyone else I saved my emergency rations." "I only have the two left (I was lying) so don't try to extort me for more." After years of eating only algae, EFRs were (almost) more valuable than oxygen. Of course the doctor agreed and I got what I wanted. It might sound crazy but I had a plan. Fate had taken my family away, but I was prepared to defy even the gods themselves. I was determined that I would have my FAMILY! No matter what! Nothing and no one, no force of nature, no power in all the universe would take that from me. NO! NEVER!
I asked me a question, no reply.
I dreamt me a life and live a lie.
Dream me a nightmare...
I traveled the stars but passed them by.
For trapped on Aniara, here was I.
...always been leaving.
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Year 8 - [missing]
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Year 9 - The Daily Grind - I have now returned to reality. I have stopped all of the sick and sad mind games that I have being torturing myself with. I once created a "plan" to do the impossible, but no more, no more. Everyday now seems like an endless pointless, struggle. Sometimes [missing] and hours. Some of my co-workers stopped [missing] for now that's all any of us can do...
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Year 10 - The Jubilee - Tonight at the Light-Year Hall, those of us that are still left are going to "celebrate" the 10th anniversary of our 3 week voyage to Mars or as I like to call it the "never ending space adventure" Ha!
Captain Chefone gave the Mimarobe a medal for her creation of the beam-screen device. I sat in the front row and couldn't help but notice that one of the Captains wrists was bandaged, probably from another suicide attempt...
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Year 11 - Hope Restored - My ex-fiancée is dead. She commited suicide like so many others before. I was hard at work trying to revive the algae (they had been neglected for some time) when my assistant rushed in and told me the news. "They were about to send her body into space, you have to hurry if you want to see her". I immediately and literally dropped everything I was doing. The algae pack I had been working on fell and splashed on the floor as I ran out the door as fast as I could. As luck would have it, I made it just in time to see her, and I even had time to cut a lock of her hair. I then kissed her one last time and said "Goodbye my love... but, goodbye is not forever."
Then that was it, off she went into the empty, endless, void. She was gone I told myself, but not dead. I squeezed the lock of hair in my hand and vowed that I would bring her back to life, somehow, someway, I would make things right, we would live the life we were supposed to have. I would make it happen. It would happen. Suddenly, I felt a force deep inside me rushing to the surface. It had been years but I knew what it was, It had returned to me, a feeling of exuberation, of joy and the certainty of knowing that everything would be okay. I now resurrected my "plan" and now I had a reason to live again, I had a purpose, and now I had......HOPE! And this time I was determined that I would never lose hope again. NEVER!
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Year 12 - Return of the Cults - Some of the old cults have started making a come back... However this time they are no longer sex/fun cults, because after so many years of eating just algae, almost everyone has lost their sex drive/ability to reproduce... I think because the type algae on board was genetically modified to produce the maximum amount of oxygen possible, so it was never intended to be used as a permanent main source of nutrition. If we had access to more than just the one type, things might be different...
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Year 13 - Foward, Foward into the cold empty night! We ride! - Captain Chefone is dead. Suicide. I knew he had been on the brink the past few years so it's not much of a surprise. I would often hear him say to himself "We should have been home by now." Of course he was right, we should have, but instead here we are stuck on this eternal "voyage of the damned".
A week after Captain Chefone died, I found myself walking by his quarters. I had the sudden impulse to go inside. I don't know what it was (probably just morbid curiosity), but I think I just wanted to find some answers...
I was surprised to find that his quarters were just as much of a mess as mine. (And everyone else's.) I think because he was the Captain, I expected a lot more. (He was only human.) After looking around the room, I went over to his desk and inside I found the Aniara's Offical Ships Log, but the electronic notepad was damaged beyond repair (on purpose). However, underneath it was a small paper notebook. "Ah, I said out loud, now this should be interesting." When I opened the notebook I was immediately disappointed. Most of the pages were torn out and those few that remained had been harshly scribbled over.
On one of the few pages not missing or completely marked over was written this: Today, we almost lost the entire ship, were it not for my quick and decisive actions as Captain. [illegible] an incredibly rare occurrence [illegible] critically damaged our main nuclear reactor. [illegible] only seconds [illegible] forcing me to [illegible] off course [illegible] have power for some time. This evening I will break the news to the passengers in such a way that will cause the least amount of panic and at the same time not destroy their hope. If they knew the real situation, it would only cause unnecessary chaos. In this way, I will maintain order and keep the passengers safe. Fear and [illegible] as Captain of Aniara [illegible] that is now my primary job. [illegible] now like a Shepherd Father and the passengers my sheep children. In many ways we are very lucky, [illegible] this trip, Aniara's sister ship crashed into Jupiter heading towards the Orion belt colony. Everyone on onboard was killed.
On another page was written this: The rescue refuel probe is here. [illegible] turned out to be [illegible] not what I expected. I have [illegible] for clarification, [illegible] Mars [illegible] -----cation. Testing will continue. I still remain confident that [illegible] the project called "[illegible] ---elin" can still be used in someway to turn the ship around and resume course.
The last two pages were so scribbled over that I could barely make out any words let alone a full sentence. I did however, notice what looked like the word "Devil" written over and over. Very strange. I left the Captain's quarters with more questions than answers...
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Year 14 - [missing]
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Year 15 - The Light Show Ends - Today the projection device created by MR, (Everyone still calls her the 'Mimarobe' as a sign of respect.) had to be shut down to conserve power. The Mimarobe often expressed to me her regret at not being more forceful with Captain Chefone in explaining the problem with Mima. She told me that if she could back in time she would say to the Captain:
"Just imagine what it will be like if Mima isn't here... do you understand how hellish the situation will become? My life is dedicated to this program and I'M TELLING YOU, IT WILL BURN OUT AND DIE! Imagine if people can temporarily go back to earth by turning on a light switch, now imagine if the bulb blows up, and there's no replacement..." "I know how important Mima is and you don't get it!"
The beam-screen seemed like a great idea at the time to keep everyone's spirits up, but in many ways it may have done more harm than good. People lost their minds staring all the time at something they knew they would never have...
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Year 16 - [missing]
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Year 17 - [missing]
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Year 18 - The Time/Memorial Capsule - The Mimarobe was the one that came up with the idea for a time/memorial capsule. She (like all of us) has suffered greatly, but from time to time she would show a small spark of her old self. The idea, while slow to catch on, would eventually give those of us still left a renewed sense of purpose. (People now had a reason to get out of bed.) But, it was I who would take the idea and transform it into something greater. Our first attempt at creating the capsule was successful (it was little more than a metal box) but at the same time, as the Mimarobe pointed out it looked too much like a large coffin. I agreed. We could do better. We had to do better. But we had to be careful [missing] effecting power systems. I asked the Mimarobe if she could sketch a better design. After two days the Mimarobe presented me with a new design, it was beautiful, but simple, yet elegant. Above the sketch was were the words, "Heart of Aniara." The name was perfect. We would fill the "Heart of Aniara", with our art and our poetry, with our hopes, dreams and wedding rings. We would pour into it our stories, our struggles, our trials and tribulations, we would fill it with the tear drops from our very souls.
The "Heart of Aniara" is almost complete. It has taken an entire [missing] solid effort to build and everyone took turns polishing it, so now it shines like the golden sun. We also wrote [missing] and painted two large red hearts on the sides. It [missing] long and on the inside are different [missing] created using metal partitions. [missing] was instrumental in its consruction...
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Year 19 - A Slight Delay - Disaster! Several Power systems, including all emergency back up systems across the ship have begun failing for some unknown reason. [missing] working around the clock to figure out what is wrong... I don't know how much longer we can hold on...
We finally found the [missing] will work for the time being, but [missing] restored power [missing] will do for now...
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Year 20 - The Heart of Aniara - At last the time has come for our send off. Everything is ready. As the "Captain" of Aniara it is my great honor to commision this new vessel "Heart of Aniara". Behind me I heard someone whisper "vessel?". I continued, "It is my firm belief that the "Heart of Aniara" will make it back home to Mars and everyone will know our stories..."
A moment before send off, I told everyone to wait. Theres one more thing left. I then slid open a hatch on the side and told everyone that I hated to do this to them, but I was going to Mars with my family. The Mimarobe approached me with a half smile on her face and said in a very serious tone "Good Luck, Captain Benny", "tell everyone on Mars hi for us and that we wish we were there." I smiled and promised that I would. Then to my suprise all the others came up to me, with some shaking my hand and congratulating me, asking me to say hi to their family and friends as well. I then ducked down into the newly christened "Heart of Aniara." Then the hatch was sealed. A small rechargable electric candle that I brought with me, provided the only light. Knowing that we would be leaving in a moment I opened a small box, took Carmen (lock of ex-fiancée's hair) and Sarah Ann (small jar with dead fetus) and held them together in my left hand against my chest. I could feel my heart beating with a mixture of fear and excitement. I took out a small children's book with my right hand and began reading it from the beginning. It was my daughter's favorite. It was called "The Duck and the Noodle." "Daddy are we there yet?" I laughed as tears ran down my face and said "Yes, my little princess noodle were almost there."
The Memorial Capsule lauched into space with a loud whoosh...
(Mimarobe, MR) - When everyone had just got through waving goodbye and were getting ready to leave, the view screen turned on and with it a pre-recorded message from Captain Benny. "To celebrate this great day, I have arranged for you a "Grand Feast", then he paused. A few people exchanged questioning looks. Then the Captain spoke again. "You see", he said with a smile, "Unlike all of you, I saved my emergency rations. You will find them hidden inside the mattress in my quarters, enjoy!" "Also, you will find two bottles of wine, yes! real wine!" Before the video even finished several people had started shuffling as fast as the could to Captain Benny's quarters. The Captain wasn't lying, it appeared that he had indeed saved almost all of his emergency rations for some special occasion(s).
What a feast it was! To make it fair for everyone we took all of the rations and put them together to create a kind of giant stew. Each of us not only savored each precious spoonful, we cherished it as though it was a long lost loved one. It is not an exaggeration to say that each bite was chewed one hundred times or more and then held in the mouth for ten minutes or longer, swishing the pulpy liquid around and around. I even saw one person spit the food back into their bowl and then put it back into their mouth, over and over again. That seemed a little bit unusual to me, but everyone should enjoy their last real meal the way they want. As for the wine their was enough for everyone to have a shot glass filled to the brim. We talked about the "Great Feast" for months afterword...
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Year 21 - [missing]
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Year 22 - The Living Dead - (Mimarobe, MR) We've had to abandon almost the entire ship to conserve power, but basically were still good alive... I still dream about Isagel and our son from time to time...
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Year 23 - [missing]
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Year 24 - The Sarcophagus - A few remaining survivors, including the Mimarobe, sit cross-legged in a dimly lit room. One of the few survivors speaks in a rhapsodic manner about the divine power of sunlight on Earth.
The Aniara slowly descends into final darkness...
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Note: Years 25 through 5,981,406 are missing.
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Year 5,981,407 - Lyra Constellation - The Aniara, derelict, frozen and devoid of human life - reaches the Lyra constellation and approaches a planet as verdant and welcoming as Earth was formerly. It quickly passes by continuing on into the endless void of space...
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Date Unknown - The Warm Embrace - Ages come, Ages gone, Aniara soon embraced, engulfed by warmth and shine, newest born crimson light, Aniara far from home, aflame, not even ashes remain.
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Epilogue: Year 100 - The Triumph of Hope - Despite the faliure of many valiant rescue attempts, including all attempts at communication, we remain confident that those onboard the Aniara knew that they were not forgotten. It is difficult to imagine (the speaker momentarily shuttered), the impossible challenges they endured. The story of their lives will remain in the collective hearts of humanity for all time. It is our hope that we will do right by them, now and in the future. We vow to never repeat the mistakes of the past... and that is why today, on the one hundredth anniversary since the Aniara was lost, we reach across time and space to bring their souls back home, home to this sacred place... We hereby consecrate this new park as the "Aniara Memorial Park and Museum Complex." As you walk through these doors, one of the first things you will notice is the "Heart of Aniara" on display. Along the walls are the names and pictures of the passengers and crew, their artwork, poetry, and most importantly, the stories of their lives, their hopes, dreams and wedding rings...
Aniara Memorial Plaque: We ourselves are the sorrow, we are also the joy, everything human is rooted in humanity, and no human being can escape humanity, not her hatred and her self-degradation, nor the joy she spreads, nor the love she forms.
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Date [redacted] - Project "Devil's Javelin" - Status report #[redacted] - As of today's date we are aware of a total of four "spear-like objects" [redacted] and has contextualized that there are many more as yet discovered. Because of [redacted] we now know they are made of [redacted] and probably come from [redacted] the first was found on Earth 86 years ago, at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The second one was discovered by the crew of the Aniara [redacted] years ago. The third was found here on Mars, near [redacted] and moved to its present secure location. The fourth and newest one was found when [redacted] the far side of the Moon. [redacted] buried inside the [redacted] impact crater. We have yet to discover the purpose of these "spear-like objects."
After [redacted] to prevent another type of incident. [redacted] have been able to gain access to the inside of the one here on Mars. [redacted] only after [redacted] and the entire team. [redacted] using the most advanced technology and research methods. Dr. [redacted] found [redacted] which is impossible and should not exist. However, we must now come to grips with the horror that this new revelation about humanity has [redacted] general public must never find out...
THE END?
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Alternate ending 1
Year 5,981,407 - The Sarcophagus World Destroyer - As the ship Aniara descended towards the lush and green planet, the crew rejoiced. Or at least they would have if they hadn't all been dead. After thousands of millennia wandering through space, they had found a planet that was almost identical to Earth.
The planet's gravity was very strong, and the ship had become trapped in the planet's gravitational pull and started hurtling towards the surface.
The Aniara crashed into the planet with a deafening roar, causing massive destruction and sending out shockwaves that rippled across the surface.
As the dust settled, it became clear that the landing had been catastrophic. Plant and animal life had been completely obliterated, and the once green planet was now a barren wasteland. Soon not a single living thing was left to witness the horror and the devastation that had been caused.
Another beautiful, thriving, planet, a blue and green jewel, once teeming with life has been turned into a lifeless barren wasteland...
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Alternate ending 2
Year 5,981,407 - The Second Chance Sarcophagus - As the ship Aniara descended towards the lush and green planet, the crew rejoiced. Or at least they would have if they hadn't all been dead. After thousands of millennia wandering through space, they had found a planet that was almost identical to Earth.
The planet's gravity was very strong, and the ship had become trapped in the planet's gravitational pull and started hurtling towards the surface.
One one-trillionth of a second after the Aniara crashed into the planet the mysterious spear-like probe on board finally awakened. A God-Like Power. In that one one-trillionth of a second the Aniara was scanned by the powerful probe and the events and lives of the crew had become known to it. At the same time, both the ship and the planet were saved by a force field of immense power. The ship was now resting safely on the surface of the lush, green planet. The probe had determined that the primitive life forms on board were worthy of a second chance at life and it was able to resurrect the entire crew and all the passengers from microscopic DNA that had been left. The Aniara was perfectly restored and even the Mima had been brought back. The crew and passengers awoke to find themselves in a veritable Garden of Eden, a paradise. Maybe this time things would go better and the mistakes from the past would not be repeated...
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MA = Movies Anywhere
GP = Googleplay
[?] = unknown definition
title = pending trade
If a title is no longer listed = It has been traded
COMBO Films

• 2film: My Girl 1 & 2 SD =MA
• 3film: Mall Cop / Zookeeper / Boom SD =MA
• 3film: Night at the Museum: Trilogy SD =MA
• 3film: The Other Guys, Step Brothers, Talladega Nights SD =MA
• 4film: The Magnificent Seven Collection HD Vudu
• 6film: Joe Dirt, Benchwarmers, House Bunny, The Animal, Deuce Bigalow, Master Of Disguise SD =MA

MOVIES

• SONY BUFF PASSES (Current) - 1
• Universal Rewards (Current) - 1
• 10 Clover Field Lane HD Vudu only
• 12 Rounds 2 Reload HD =MA
• 101 Dalmations HD =MA
• 101 Dalmations (Googleplay) HD =MA
• 127 Hours (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• 1917 HD =MA
• 2 Guns (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• 2 Guns HD =MA
• 21st Jump Street HD =MA
• 21st Jump Street SD =MA
• 22nd Jump Street SD =MA
• 3 From Hell 4K (Vudu Or iTunes)
• 47 Ronin HD =MA (MA Redeem, Vudu Kills Code)
• 47 Ronin =MA 4K (iTunes Portion)
• the 5th Wave SD =MA
• A Dogs Way Home HD =MA
• A Good Day To Die Hard HD = MA
• A Good Day To Die Hard (iTunes redeem) SD = MA
• A Haunted House (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• A Madea Christmas HD Vudu
• A Madea Family Funeral HD (Vudu / iTunes OR GP)
• A Million Ways To Die In The West [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• A Monster's Call HD =MA
• A Monster's Call (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the A-Team (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• A Thousand Words SD Vudu
• A Quiet Place HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K
• A Walk Among Tombstones (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• About Last Night HD =MA
• Admission (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• the Adventures Of Tintin SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• After Earth SD =MA
• the Age Of Adaline HD Vudu
• Alex Cross HD Vudu
• Alpha and Omega 3: Great Wolf Games HD Vudu
• Alice Through The Looking Glass HD =MA
• Alien Covenant HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• All the Devil's Men HD Vudu or iTunes
• Alpha SD =MA
• Alvin And The Chipmunks: Chip Wrecked (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Road Chip HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman HD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman SD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman 2 HD =MA
• the Amazing Spiderman 2 SD =MA
• Amelia (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• American Assassin HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• American Made HD =MA
• American Girl: Mckenna Shoots For The Stars HD =MA
• American Hustle HD =MA
• American Hustle SD =MA
• Anchorman 2 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• And So It Goes HD =MA
• the Angry Birds Movie HD =MA
• Annie (2014) HD =MA
• Annie (2014) SD =MA
• Annihilation HD (Vudu Or iTunes) Split
• the Art of Self Defense HD =MA
• Arrival HD Vudu or iTunes 4K
• Arthur (iTunes redeem) SD =MA
• Arthur Christmas SD =MA
• Assassin's Creed HD (4K If iTunes Redeem)=MA
• Atomic Blonde HD =MA
• Atomic Blonde (iTunes Portion) 4K =MA
• August Osage County HD Vudu
• Avengers: End Game HD (googleplay) =MA
• Avengers: Infinity War (googleplay) HD =MA
• Babylon A.D. (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Bad Boys For Life HD =MA
• Bad Boys For Life SD =MA
• Bad Grandpa HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Bad Moms (iTunes) HD =MA
• Bad Moms HD =MA
• Bad Words (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Bank Job HD Vudu
• Barbie & Her Sisters In A Puppy Chase HD =MA
• Battle Of The Year HD =MA
• Battleship 4K =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Battleship HD =MA
• Baywatch (Vudu-HD Or iTunes-4K)
• Beethoven Treasure Tail (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• Beethoven Treasure Tail HD =MA
• Begin Again HD Vudu
• Beirut HD =MA
• Big Hero HD (4k if iTunes redeem) =MA
• Big Hero HD (googleplay) =MA
• the Best Man Holiday HD =MA
• the Best Man Holiday (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Big Miracle (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Big Short HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Big Wedding HD Vudu Or iTunes
• the Big Wedding SD Vudu
• the Big Year (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Black Nativity [Extended] HD =MA
• Black Swan (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Blackhat HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Blockers HD =MA
• Bloodshot SD =MA
• Blue Jasmine HD =MA
• Boo! A Madea Halloween HD V/I/GP
• the Book Of Life HD =MA
• Boss Baby HD =MA
• the Bourne: Identity HD =MA
• the Bourne: Identity (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Bourne: Legacy HD =MA
• the Bourne: Legacy (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Bourne: Supremacy HD =MA
• the Bourne: Supremacy (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• the Boy [unrated] HD =MA
• the Boy [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes portion)
• the Boy Next Door HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Boyhood HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Braven HD Vudu or GP
• Brian Banks HD =MA
• Bride Wars (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Brides Maids (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Bridge Of Spies HD =MA
• Bring It On: Cheersmack HD =MA
• Bring It On: Cheersmack (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Broken City HD Vudu
• the Butler HD Vudu
• the Bye Bye Man HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• the Cabin In The Woods SD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Cabin In The Woods HD Vudu Or GP
• the Call SD =MA
• the Call Of The Wild (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Call Of The Wild HD =MA
• Captain Phillips HD =MA
• Captain Phillips SD =MA
• Captain Under Pants: The First Epic Movie HD =MA
• Carrie [2013] (Vudu or GP) HD
• the Case For Christ (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Case For Christ HD =MA
• Casino Royale HD V/GP
• Cedar Rapids (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Change Up (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Change Up Unrated (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Chappie SD =MA
• Chasing Mavericks [2012] HD =MA
• the Choice HD (iTunes, Vudu Or GP)
• the Choice HD (Vudu Only)
• Chronicle HD =MA
• Chronicle (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage Of The Dawn Treader (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Chronicles Of Riddick [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2 SD =MA
• Coal Miner's Daughter HD = MA
• Coal Miner's Daughter HD = MA (iTunes portion)
• the Commuter HD V/i/GP
• Concussion (will Smitch) HD =MA
• Concussion (will Smitch) SD =MA
• the Condemned 2 HD Vudu
• Contraband (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Counselor HD =MA
• Countdown [wwe films] HD Vudu
• Cowboys And Aliens (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Croods (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Cruella HD =MA
• Cruella (Googleplay) HD =MA
• Cult Of Chucky [unrated] HD =MA
• Cult Of Chucky [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes Redeem)
• Curse Chucky (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Curse Of Chucky HD =MA
• Daddy's Home HD Vudu / 4K iTunes (split)
• Dallas Buyers Club HD (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Danny Collins HD (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Dark Tower HD =MA
• Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Day The Earth Stood Still (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Dead In Tombstone [unrated] HD =MA
• Dead Man Down SD =MA
• Deadpool HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Deadpool 2 [super dooper cut] HD =MA
• the Descendants (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Deliver Us From Evil SD =MA
• Despicable Me (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Despicable Me 2 (4K iTunes) =MA
• Despicable Me 2 HD =MA
• the Devil Inside SD Vudu
• Devils Due HD =MA
• Diary Of A Wimpy Kid (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Dictator SD Vudu
• Die Hard: A Good Day To Die (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Dilemma HD =MA
• Dirty Dancing SD Vudu
• Dirty Grandpa SD Vudu
• Disney Nature: Monkey Kingdom HD =MA
• Disney Shorts Collection HD =MA
• Divergent HD Vudu
• Divergent [4k Itunes] or [GP-HD]
• Divergent Series: Allegiant HD Vudu
• Divergent Series: Allegiant SD Vudu
• Divergent Series: Insurgent HD Vudu/GP (iTunes Split)
• Divergent Series: Insurgent SD Vudu
• Django Unchained HD Vudu
• Dom Hemingway HD =MA
• Downsizing HD Vudu & iTunes 4K
• Downton Abbey The Movie HD =MA
• Dracula Untold (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• Dracula Untold HD =MA
• Draft Day HD Vudu/iTunes Split
• Draft Day SD Vudu
• Dragon Heart 3 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Dragon Heart 3 HD =MA
• Dredd HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Dredd 4K (Vudu Or iTunes) Or GP-HD
• Drive (2011) HD MA
• the Duel SD Vudu
• the Duff HD Vudu
• Dumb And Dumber To (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Dying Of The Light HD Vudu
• E.T. (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA (from bluray)
• E.T. HD =MA
• E.T. SD =MA
• Escape Plan HD Vudu
• Edward Scissorhands HD =MA
• Elysium SD =MA
• the Emoji Movie HD =MA
• Empire State HD Vudu
• End Of Watch (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ender's Game 4K Vudu/iTunes Split
• Ender's Game HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Enough Said HD =MA
• Epic (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Epic HD =MA
• Escape Plan HD Vudu
• the Equalizer HD =MA
• the Equalizer SD =MA
• Ex Machina HD Vudu
• Exodus: Gods And Kings HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Expendables 2 HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• the Expendables 3 4K Vudu
• the Expendables 3 [unrated] HD
• the Expendables 3 HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Extraction HD Vudu
• Fast & Furious 1 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 1 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 2 (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast & Furious 3 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 4 HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 4 (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Fast & Furious 5 Extended (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 5 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 6 Extended (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast & Furious 6 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 7 Extended HD =MA
• Fast & Furious 7 Extended (4K iTunes) =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Extended 4K =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Extended HD =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Theatrical 4K =MA
• Fast Furious 8 Theatrical HD =MA
• the Fault In Our Stars HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Fault In Our Stars HD =MA (no Upgrade)
• the Favourite HD =MA
• Fences HD VUDU or iTunes 4K (split)
• Fifty Shades Darker [unrated] (iTunes) HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Darker [unrated] HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Of Grey [unrated] HD =MA
• Fifty Shades Of Grey [standard] 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Fighter HD =MA
• Finding Dory (googleplay) HD =MA
• Finding Dory HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Finding Nemo (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Finest Hour HD =MA
• the Finest Hour (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Five Year Engagement (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Flight HD (Vudu / iTunes Split)
• Footloose (2011) SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Frank & Lola HD =MA
• Fright Night 2 UR HD =MA
• the Front Runner SD = MA
• Frozen HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Frozen (googleplay) HD =MA
• Frozen (sing Along Edition) HD =MA
• Frozen (sing-along Edition) (googleplay) HD =MA
• Frozen Ground HD Vudu
• Fury HD =MA
• Fury SD =MA
• G.I.Joe Retaliation HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• the Gambler HD (Vudu / iTunes Split)
• Gemini Man HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Get On Up (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Get The Gringo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Ghost In The Shell [2017] HD Vudu Only
• Ghost Rider Spirit Of Vengeance SD =MA
• Ghostbusters HD =MA
• Ghostbusters: Answer The Call & Extended HD =MA
• Gifted HD =MA
• the Girl In The Spidersweb SD =MA
• the Girl On The Train =MA 4K (iTunes Redeem)
• the Girl On The Train =MA HD
• the Giver HD Vudu
• Gladiator Vudu or iTunes 4K
• Glee The Concert (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• God's Not Dead 3: A Light In Darkness HD =MA
• Gods Of Egypt HD Vudu (and iTunes 4K split)
• Gods Of Egypt SD Vudu
• Grace Unplugged HD Vudu
• the Grand Budapest Hotel HD =MA
• Grease Vudu =HD (itunes portion kills code)
• the Great Wall (iTunes Portion) 4K =MA
• the Great Wall HD =MA
• the Greatest Showman HD =MA
• the Grey (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Grown Ups 2 HD =MA
• Grown Ups 2 SD =MA
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 1 HD =MA (no 4K Upgrade)
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2.0 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2.0 4K =MA
• the Gunman HD =MA
• the Gunman (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Hacksaw Ridge HD Vudu iTunes Or GP
• Hail, Caesar! HD =MA
• Hail, Caesar! (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Halloween Kills Extended HD =MA
• Hammer Of The Gods SD Vudu
• Hansel & Gretel [unrated] HD Vudu / HD iTunes (split)
• Hands of Stones HD Vudu
• the Hangover (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Hardcore Henry HD =MA (iTunes redeem)
• Harvey (1950) (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Hateful Eight HD Vudu Or GP
• the Haunting In Connecticut 2 Ghosts Of Georgia HD Vudu
• the Heat HD =MA
• the Heat (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA (will Send First)
• Heaven Is For Real HD =MA
• Heaven Is For Real SD =MA
• Hell Or High Water SD Vudu
• Hellboy (2019) 4K Vudu/iTunes/(GP HD)
• Here Comes The Boom SD =MA
• Hidden Figures HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Hillsong: Let Hope Rise HD =MA
• Hocus Pocus (googleplay) HD =MA
• Holiday Inn (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Home Again HD =MA
• Home Alone 4K =MA
• Home Alone HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Home Alone 2: Lost In New York HD =MA
• Homefront (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Homefront HD =MA
• Honey 2 (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Honey 2 HD =MA
• Hop (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Hop HD =MA
• Hope Springs HD =MA
• Horton Hears A Who (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Host (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Hostiles 4K Vudu/iTunes/(GP HD)
• Hotel Transylvania SD =MA
• Hotel Transylvania 3 SD =MA
• Hours SD Vudu
• House With A Clock In Its Walls HD =MA
• How To Train A Dragon 2 HD =MA
• the Hundred Foot Journey (googleplay) HD =MA
• Hugo SD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• the Hunger Games HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Catching Fire HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 1 HD Vudu
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 2 HD Vudu
• I See You HD Vudu (no itunes)
• I, Frankenstein HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Ice Age: Dawn Of Dinosaurs (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Identity Thief (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Ides Of March HD =MA
• In Time (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Incarnate (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Independence Day Resurgence HD =MA (no Upgrade)
• Independence Day Resurgence HD (4K if iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Inferno HD =MA
• Inglorious Bastards (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Inside Out HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Inside Out (google Redeem) HD =MA
• Insidious Chapter 2 SD =MA
• Insidious: the last key SD =MA
• Internship (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Interview HD =MA
• the Interview SD =MA
• Into The Spider-verse SD =MA
• Iron Man 3 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Iron Man 3 HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Jack Reacher SD Vudu
• Jack Reacher HD Vudu (4K itunes split)
• Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit HD Vudu Or iTunes
• Jarhead 2 [unrated] HD =MA
• Jarhead 2 [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes portion)
• Jarhead Law Of Return HD =MA
• Jason Bourne HD =MA
• Jason Bourne 4K =MA (iTunes portion)
• Jaws HD =MA
• Joe SD Vudu
• John Wick 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• John Wick SD? Dvd (Vudu/iTunes/GP)
• John Wick : Chapter 2 HD (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• John Wick 3 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• Joy HD (4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• Joy HD =MA
• Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle SD =MA
• Jumper (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Jungle Book [2016] (preorder) HD =MA
• Jungle Cruise (googleplay) HD =MA
• Juno (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Jurassic Park (4K iTunes) =MA
• Jurassic Park HD =MA
• Jurassic World (4K iTunes) =MA
• Jurassic World HD =MA
• Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom HD =MA
• Just Wright (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Justin Bieber: Never Say Never HD VUDU / iTunes (split)
• Keeping Up with the Jones (4K if iTunes Redeem) = MA
• Kevin Heart: Let Me Explain HD
• Kickass 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Kickass 2 HD =MA
• Kidnap HD =MA
• Kidnap (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Killer Elite (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Killing Them Softly HD Vudu
• Kin HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• the Kingsman: The Golden Circle HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Kingsman: The Secret Service HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Kingsman: The Secret Service SD (Vudu) =MA
• Knight And Day (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Knocked Up (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• Kung Fu Panda 3 HD =MA
• the Last Exorcism Past2 SD =MA
• Last Knights HD Vudu
• the Last Stand HD
• Last Vegas SD =MA
• the Last Witch Hunter SD Vudu
• the Legend Of Hercules HD Vudu
• Les Miserables [1998] HD =MA
• Les Miserables [2012] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Les Miserables [2012] HD =MA
• Let's Be Cops HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Life HD =MA
• Life As We Know It (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Knight And Day (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Life Of Pi HD (4K iTunes Through Foxredeem) =MA
• Lightyear (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Little Mermaid HD =MA
• the Little Mermaid (googleplay) HD =MA
• Little Women (2019) HD =MA
• Lockout (unrated) SD =MA
• the LOFT (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Logan HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Logan Lucky HD =MA
• Logan Lucky 4K (iTunes) =MA
• the Lone Ranger (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Lone Ranger HD =MA
• Lone Survivor HD =MA
• Lone Survivor 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Longest Ride HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeemed) =MA
• the Longest Week HD Vudu
• Looper SD =MA
• the Lorax (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Lorax HD =MA
• the Lord of The Rings: Return Of The King HD =MA
• the Lords Of Salem HD Vudu
• Love Actually (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Love Actually SD =MA
• Love & Mercy HD VUDU
• Love & Other Drugs (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Machete (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted HD =MA
• Madea's Neighbors From Hell The Play SD Vudu
• Madea's Witness Protection HD Vudu Or iTunes
• Madea's Witness Protection SD Vudu
• Maggie HD Vudu Only
• Maleficent (googleplay) HD =MA
• Maleficent HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Maleficent: mistress of evil (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mall Cop 2 SD =MA
• Mamma Mia! (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again HD =MA
• the Man With The Iron Fists (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Marauders HD Vudu
• the Marine 4 HD Vudu
• the Marine 6: close quarters SD =MA
• Marley & Me (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Martian HD (4K If iTunes Redeem)=MA
• Mary Poppins HD =MA
• Mary Poppins (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mary Poppins: Returns (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Maze Runner HD (no Upgrade)
• the Mechanic: Resurrection HD Vudu or GP portion. (itunes option "may" work)
• the Mechanic: Resurrection SD Vudu
• Megan Leavey (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Megan Leavey HD =MA
• Men In Black 2 HD =MA
• Men In Black 3 HD =MA
• Men In Black 3 SD =MA
• Middle School: The Worse Years Of My Life HD Vudu/GP or iTunes split
• Midway 4K Vudu/iTunes or GP
• Mike & Dave Need A Wedding Date HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Minions (4K iTunes) =MA
• Minions HD =MA
• Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children HD (4K iTunes redeem) =MA
• Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children HD =MA (Vudu Redeem)
• Mission Impossible: Fallout HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocal HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocal Dvd (Vudu)
• Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K)
• Mom's Night Out SD =MA
• Moneyball HD =MA
• Monte Carlo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Monuments Men HD =MA
• the Monuments Men SD =MA
• Moonlight HD Vudu
• Monster's University (googleplay) HD =MA
• Mortal Instruments SD =MA
• Mostly Ghostly: Have You Met My Ghoulfriend? (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• Mostly Ghostly: Have You Met My Ghoulfriend? HD =MA
• the Mountain Between Us HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Mr. Holmes HD Vudu
• Mr. Peabody & Sherman HD =MA
• Mr. Popper's Penguins (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Mud HD Vudu
• Mulan Original Cartoon (googleplay) HD =MA
• the Mummy: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Muppets Most Wanted (googleplay) HD =MA
• Muppets Most Wanted HD =MA
• My All American HD =MA
• My All American (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2 HD =MA
• My Life As A Zucchini (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Nebraska HD Vudu
• Nerve SD Vudu
• Night At The Museum Or Night At The Museum: 2 [pick One] HD =MA
• Night At The Museum 2: Battle Of The Smithsonian (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Night At The Museum 3: Secret Of The Tomb HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Night School [extended] HD =MA
• No Country For Old Men HD Vudu Or GP
• No Escape HD Vudu
• Noah HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Non-stop (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Non-stop HD =MA
• Norm Of The North HD (iTunes Or GP)
• Norm Of The North HD Vudu Only
• Now You See Me 4K Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Now You See Me HD Vudu
• Now You See Me HD Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Now You See Me 2 SD Vudu
• Oblivion HD =MA
• Office Party HD VUDU or iTunes (split)
• Olympus Has Fallen HD =MA
• Olympus Has Fallen SD =MA
• the Oranges (itunes redeem) SD =MA
• the Other Woman HD =MA
• Ouija: Origin Of Evil (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Overcomer SD =MA
• Oz The Great And Powerful (googleplay) HD =MA
• Oz The Great And Powerful HD =MA
• Pacific Rim: Uprising HD =MA
• Paddington HD Vudu
• Pain & Gain HD Vudu Only
• Paranormal Activity 2 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 3 SD Vudu (try iTunes at your own risk)
• Paranormal Activity 4 HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity Ghost Dimension HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Parental Guidance HD =MA
• Parental Guidance (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Parker HD =MA
• Parker SD =MA
• Passengers HD =MA
• Patriots Day HD Vudu (or 4K iTunes)
• Paul [unrated] HD =MA (iTunes Redeem)
• Peanuts Movies HD ( 4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Penguins Of Madagascar HD =MA
• Percy Jackson: Sea Of Monsters HD =MA
• Perks Of Being A Wallflower HD Vudu Or iTunes SD (split)
• Peter Pan 2: Return To Never Land (googleplay) HD =MA
• Philomena HD Vudu
• Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (googleplay) HD =MA
• Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales HD =MA (iTunes kills code)
• Pirates! Band Of Misfits SD =MA
• Pitch Black [unrated] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect [iTunes redeem 4K] =MA
• Pitch Perfect 2 HD =MA
• Pitch Perfect 2 HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Pitch Perfect 3 HD =MA
• Pixels SD =MA
• Planes (googleplay) HD =MA
• Planes HD =MA
• Planes Fire And Rescue (googleplay) HD =MA
• Planes Fire And Rescue HD =MA
• Planes, Trains & Automobiles HD (Vudu or iTunes)
• Playing For Keeps SD =MA
• Pompeii HD =MA
• Pompeii SD =MA
• Possession HD Vudu (SD iTunes)
• Predators (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Premium Rush SD =MA
• the Prince HD Vudu
• Prometheus HD =MA
• Prometheus (iTunes Redeem) [?] =MA
• Promised Land (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Protector 2 SD Vudu
• Public Enemies (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Public Enemies (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Purge (4K iTunes) =MA
• the Purge HD =MA
• the Purge: Anarchy HD =MA
• the Purge: Election Year HD =MA
• Queen Of Katwe (googleplay) HD =MA
• Queen Of Katwe HD =MA
• R.I.P.D. (redeems In iTunes) 4K =MA
• R.I.P.D. HD =MA
• Ralph Breaks The Internet (googleplay) HD =MA
• Rambo HD (Vudu,iTunes4K Or GP)
• Rambo: Last Blood 4K (Vudu,iTunes Or HD-GP)
• Ramona And Beezus (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Rango HD Vudu Or 4K iTunes (split)
• Real Steel (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Reasonable Doubt HD =MA
• Red 2 HD Vudu
• Red Sparrow HD =MA
• Redemption HD Vudu
• Reprisal HD Vudu
• Resident Evil: Retribution HD =MA
• Resident Evil: Retribution SD =MA
• Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City HD =MA
• the Revenant HD =MA
• Ricki And The Flash SD =MA
• Riddick [unrated] HD =MA
• Riddick [unrated] (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Ride Along (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ride Along HD =MA
• Ride Along 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Rio HD =MA
• Rio (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Rio 2 HD =MA
• Rise Of The Guardians HD =MA
• Rise Of The Planet Of Apes (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Risen SD =MA
• Robin Hood (1973) [Disney-animation] (googleplay) HD =MA
• Robin Hood (2018) Vudu/GP HD or iTunes 4K
• Robocop 2014 HD Vudu Or GP
• the Rocker (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Rocky Horror Picture Show HD =MA
• Runner Runner HD =MA
• Rush HD =MA
• Safe HD Vudu Only
• Safe House (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Safe House HD =MA
• Same Kind Of Different As Me HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Samson HD =MA
• Santa's Little Helper HD =MA
• Sausage Party HD =MA
• Savages 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA (unsure Which Version)
• Saving Mr. Banks HD =MA
• Saving Mr. Banks (googleplay) HD =MA
• Scarface 4K (iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Scarface HD =MA
• Scary Stories To Tell In the Dark 4K (Vudu/iTunes or GP)
• Schindler's List =MA HD
• the Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 3: Battle For Redemption HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 4: Quest For Power (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Scorpion King 4: Quest For Power HD =MA
• Seal Team 8: Behind Enemy Lines HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Search Party HD =MA
• Search Party (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets (4K iTunes) =MA
• the Secret Life Of Pets 2 HD =MA
• the Secret Life Of Walter Mitty HD =MA
• See No Evil 2 HD Vudu
• Seeking A Friend For The End Of The Earth (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Selma HD (redeems In iTunes) HD =MA
• Seventh Son (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Seventh Son HD =MA (iTunes Portion)
• Sex Tape SD =MA
• the Shack HD Vudu Or iTunes (split)
• Shrek: Forever After (the final chapter) HD =MA
• Showdogs HD =MA
• Sicario 4K w/ googleplay portion
• Sicario 4K Vudu or iTunes
• Silver Linings Playbook HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Single Mom's Club HD
• Sisters [unrated] (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Sisters [unrated] HD =MA
• Skin Trade HD Vudu Redeem
• Skyfall HD (Vudu Or Googleplay)
• Skyfall SD (iTunes)
• Skyscraper HD =MA
• Sleepless (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Slumdog Millionaire (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Smurfs 2 HD =MA
• the Smurfs 2 SD =MA
• Snitch HD Vudu
• Snow White & The Huntsman (4K iTunes) =MA
• Snow White & The Huntsman HD =MA
• Snowden HD =MA
• Snowden (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Son Of God HD =MA
• Sonic The Hedge hog 2 4K (Vudu or iTunes)
• the Spectacular Now SD Vudu
• Spectre 007 HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• Spider-man: Far From Home HD =MA
• Spider-man: Far From Home SD =MA
• Spider-man: Homecoming HD =MA
• Spider-man: No-way Home SD =MA
• Split HD =MA
• the Sponge Bob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water HD Vudu / iTunes (split)
• Spy [unrated] HD =MA
• St. Vincent HD Vudu
• Stand Up Guys HD Vudu
• the Star SD =MA
• Star Trek [1] HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Trek [2] Into Darkness HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Trek [3] Beyond HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• Star Wars: Force Awakens HD =MA (Vudu - No Upgrade)
• Star Wars: the Last Jedi HD (4k if iTunes redeemed) =MA
• Star Wars: the Last Jedi (Googleplay) HD =MA
• Star Wars: Rise Of The Skywalker 4K =MA
• Star Wars: Rise Of Skywalker (googleplay) HD =MA
• Step Up Revolution HD Vudu Or (iTunes Quality Unknown)
• Straight Out Of Compton (iTunes Redeem) 4K =MA
• Straight Out Of Compton [unrated] HD =MA
• Strange World (googleplay) HD =MA
• Street Kings (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Super 8 HD Vudu Portion
• Super Buddies (googleplay) HD =MA
• Super Troopers 2 HD =MA
• the Sword In The Stone (googleplay) HD =MA
• Taken (theatrical slip) SD =MA
• Taken (Extended slip) SD =MA
• Taken 2 HD =MA
• Taken 3 (extended) HD =MA
• Ted (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Ted [unrated] HD =MA
• Ted 2 (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles HD Vudu/iTunes split
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows HD Vudu/iTunes split
• Temptation HD Vudu
• Temptation HD Vudu or Google Play (ask for this one for GP)
• Terminator Dark Fate HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• That Awkward Moment SD =MA
• That's My Boy SD =MA
• the Theory Of Everything (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Think Like A Man SD =MA
• Think Like A Man Too SD =MA
• This Is 40 (iTunes Portion) HD =MA
• This Is The End HD =MA
• This Is The End SD =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder 4K =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder HD =MA
• Thor Love And Thunder (googleplay) HD =MA
• Thor Ragnarok (googleplay) HD =MA
• Thor Ragnarok HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• the Three Stooges [the movie] (iTunes redeem) SD =MA
• Tinker Tailor Solder (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Tinkerbell And The Legend Of The NeverBeast HD =MA
• Top Gun HD Vudu & Unknown iTunes (split)
• Total Recall (1990) HD Vudu
• Total Recall (2012) [theater & Extended] HD =MA
• Total Recall (2012) SD =MA
• Tower Heist (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Toy Story 4 (googleplay) HD =MA
• Tracers SD Vudu
• Trainwreck (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction HD (Vudu Only)
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction SD Vudu
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon HD Vudu
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon SD Vudu
• Transformers: The Last Knight (digital Cut) HD Vudu Or iTunes 4K Split
• the Transporter (iTunes) SD =MA
• Trauma Center 4K Vudu/iTunes/GP
• Tremors 5: Bloodlines HD =MA
• Tremors 5: Bloodlines (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Tremors 6: A Cold Day In Hell HD =MA
• Trolls HD =MA
• True Grit HD Vudu (iTunes Split)
• Trumbo (iTunes redeem) HD =MA
• the Trust SD Vudu
• Turbo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Turbo HD =MA
• Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt 2 HD
• Unbroken (iTunes) HD =MA
• Unbroken HD =MA
• Underworld: Awakening SD =MA
• Underworld: Bloodwars HD =MA
• Unfriended HD (iTunes Portion) =MA
• Unfriended HD =MA
• Unknown (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Unstoppable (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Vampires Suck (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets HD Vudu
• Venom HD =MA
• Venom SD =MA
• the Vow SD =MA
• Walking With Dinosaurs HD =MA
• Wallstreet 2: Never Sleeps (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• Wanderlust (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• War Of The Planet Of The Apes HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• War Room HD =MA
• War Room SD =MA
• Warcraft (4K iTunes) =MA
• Warcraft HD =MA
• Warm Bodies HD Vudu
• Warm Bodies HD Vudu/GP/ iTunes (4K iTunes Split)
• the Watch HD =MA
• Water For Elephants (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• We Bought A Zoo (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Wedding Ringer SD =MA
• Werewolf: the Beast Among Us UR HD =MA
• Wanderlust (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Wanted (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• What Happens In Vegas (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• What To Expect When You're Expecting HD
• Whats Your Number (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• When The Game Stands Tall HD =MA
• When The Game Stands Tall SD =MA
• White House Down SD =MA
• Why Him? HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• Widows HD =MA
• Wild Card HD Vudu
• Winchester HD Vudu/GP/iTunes
• the Witch SD Vudu
• the Wolf Of Wall Street HD Vudu (and 4K iTunes Split)
• the Wolfman (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• the Wolverine (iTunes Redeem) [SD?] =MA
• the Wolverine (unrated) HD =MA (must redeem on MA)
• the Woman In Black SD =MA
• Won't Back Down HD =MA
• Wonder HD (iTunes, Vudu Or GP)
• Woodlawn HD =MA
• Woodlawn (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• World War Z HD (Vudu Or iTunes)
• X Men Apocalypse HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• X Men Days Of Future Past HD (4K If iTunes Redeem) =MA
• X Men Days Of Future Past HD =MA
• X Men First Class (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• X Men Origins Wolverine (iTunes Redeem) SD =MA
• XXX: Return Of Xander Cage HD Vudu (or iTunes Split)
• Yesterday HD =MA
• Young Adult HD Vudu
• the Young Messiah (iTunes Redeem) HD =MA
• Zero Dark Thirty HD =MA
• Zero Dark Thirty SD =MA
• Zootopia (googleplay) HD =MA

TV Series Marked
Vudu Only

• Nurse Jackie Season 6 HD Vudu
• Orange Is The New Black Season 1 SD Vudu
• True Detective Season 3 HD Vudu

ITUNES Only

• Game Of Thrones Season 1 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 2 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 3 HD iTunes Only
• Game Of Thrones Season 4 HD iTunes Only
• True Detective Season 3 HD iTunes Only

ITUNES Only MOVIES - No Port - Marked

• Abduction SD (iTunes)
• the Act Of Valor SD (iTunes)
• the Adventures of Tin Tin HD (iTunes)
• Alex Cross SD (iTunes)
• All Eyez On Me HD (iTunes)
• Annihilation HD (iTunes)
• Bankok Dangerous SD (iTunes)
• the Bank Job SD (iTunes)
• the Big Wedding HD (iTunes)
• Book Club 4K (iTunes)
• Brooklyn's Finest SD (iTunes)
• the Corrupted [2020] (iTunes)
• Criminal 4K (iTunes)
• Daybreakers SD (iTunes)
• the Dictator HD (iTunes)
• Divergent 4K (iTunes)
• Divergent Series: Allegiant 4K (iTunes)
• Divergent Series: Insurgent 4K (iTunes)
• Don Jon SD (iTunes)
• the Expendables [first movie] SD (iTunes)
• the Expendables 3 [unrated] HD (iTunes)
• Family Guy Its A Trap (iTunes)
• Forbidden Kingdom (iTunes)
• G.I.Joe The Rise Of The Cobra (iTunes)
• Gamer iTunes SD (iTunes)
• Ghost In The Shell 4K (iTunes)
• Gods Of Egypt 4K (iTunes)
• Hansel & Gretel [unrated] HD (iTunes)
• the Happytime Murders (apple Tv)
• the Haunting In Connecticut (iTunes)
• Hot Tub Time Machine SD (iTunes)
• House At The End Of The Street SD (iTunes)
• Hercules 4K (iTunes)
• Hot Tub Time Machine (iTunes)
• the Hunger Games [4k Itunes] or [GP-HD]
• the Hunger Games: Catching Fire [4k Itunes] or [HD GP]
• the Hunger Games: Mocking Jay Part 1 [4k Itunes] or [HD GP]
• I Feel Pretty (apple Tv)
• Jack Reacher 4K (iTunes)
• Jack Reacher: Never Go Back 4K (iTunes)
• John Wick 4K (iTunes)
• Immortals (iTunes)
• Interstellar 4K (iTunes)
• La La Land 4K (iTunes)
• Labor Day HD (iTunes)
• the Last Witch Hunter 4K (iTunes)
• Limitless (iTunes)
• the Lincoln Lawyer (iTunes)
• Machine Gun Preacher (iTunes)
• Mission Impossible: Fallout HD (iTunes)
• Monster Trucks HD (iTunes)
• Movie 43 (iTunes)
• Noah HD (iTunes)
• Office Christmas Party 4K (iTunes)
• One For The Money [Bluray] (iTunes)
• Pain & Gain HD (iTunes)
• Paranoia (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 2 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 3 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 4 HD (iTunes)
• Paranormal Activity 5: The Marked Ones HD (iTunes)
• Pet Sematary 2019 4K (iTunes)
• Pink Panther 2 (iTunes)
• the Raven SD (iTunes)
• Red Dawn SD (iTunes)
• Rogue Warfare HD (iTunes)
• Safehaven (iTunes)
• Same Kind Of Different As Me HD (iTunes)
• the Shack HD (iTunes)
• the Spirit SD (iTunes)
• Star Trek SD (iTunes)
• Star Wars: The Clone Wars SD (iTunes)
• Step Up Revolution (iTunes)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (tmnt1) 4K (iTunes)
• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Out Of The Shadows 4K (iTunes)
• Terminator: Dark Fate 4K (iTunes)
• Texas Chainsaw [2013] (iTunes)
• Titanic (iTunes)
• Transformers: Age Of Extinction 4K (iTunes)
• Transformers: Dark Of The Moon 4K (iTunes)
• Transformers: the Last Knight 4K (iTunes)
• Transporter 3 SD (iTunes)
• Warm Bodies SD (iTunes)
• What to Expect While Expecting SD (iTunes)
• Wonder 4K (iTunes)
• Xxx Return Of Xander Cage 4K (iTunes)

CANADIAN CODES: GOOGLE PLAY / ITUNES MARKED I do not know any of these port

• Black Water (GP) Can. (NOT MA)
• Hitman Agent 47 (GP/iTunes) Can.
• Kingsman: the Golden Circle (GP/iTunes) Can.
• the Wolverine (GP/iTunes) Can.

WANT LIST
Titles I am looking for

Just want to document this experience down and also share it here to anyone who’s interested. I was there on Day 3 and I had a blast. (It is going to be long.)
First off, setlist. Most of the songs were kept the same from TDS2 (except a few removals like Boom, Diggity, My Youth, Walk With You, Beatbox, We Go Up was played during pre-encore), but we got Drippin’, Rewind and Graduation. Haechan did mention that they didn’t have much time to prepare for this, yet the boys did great.
Some songs had new arrangements and I personally enjoyed them - they did the Glitch Mode domino choreo version with lots of dancers (so dope), Hot Sauce with Jaem taking the center and leading the intro beats with taps and claps, TTF was a band version with Chenle’s incredible extended adlibs at the end of the song (he said he did it jokingly during rehearsal and everyone ended up liking it so he did it during the concert).
Ending it with the sequence Rewind, Dear DREAM, Graduation was genius, esp for older fans like me who has gone through the part where members had to face the uncertainty of not being a fixed unit, to seeing the achievements these boys have reached today - it was an emotional ride.
Secondly, the members. Mark keeps getting better looking by the day! Even though his condition wasn’t great that night (the members mentioned it during instalive after), you can’t tell at all, he gives his 802% throughout. And you can clearly tell Mark loves and dotes on his dongsaeng members A LOT, just so much love in his ments and just the way he looks and interacts with them. Soo endearing to see.
Renjun remains everyone’s Heather, the chemistry between him and the members during stage interaction were so good I always look forward to them. When he had that solo spotlight during ANL bridge, he sounded sooo heavenly. He was in high-spirits that day, literally rolling on the stage and all that. But I thought it was really nice of him to mention the story about a fan who listened to Hello Future and gained strength for her operation during his ending ment. He got emotional and almost cried aww
Jeno is just electrifying on stage whenever he does the cooler tracks like Stronger, Countdown - his energy is unmatched. Yet on the other spectrum he’s such a softie (and cutie of course) when performing the ballads and more light-hearted tracks. Like TDS2, he said “I love you” to the members again that night during his ending ment that caught everyone’s surprised - such an endearing moment!
Haechan is my bias and he keeps proving why he is. His dance is so captivating everytime, his honey-like voice melts in my ears whenever he sings. He absolutely killed that opening of MFAL acapella version when there was no bgm or back vocals but his voice. He’s also such the moodmaker (which indirectly created the chaos where fans ask the members to reveal their abs), showing the 7Dream friendship rings to fans (he also revealed they did discuss to have a design for fans, hopefully this happens!)
Jaemin is another level - I love his stage quirkiness, I love how he calls us “princesses and princes”, I love how real is he when he mentioned our ‘hardships’ at coming to the concert, I love how he isn’t shy to create these cute lovable interactive moments with the fans. Aside from the abs reveal and how his chest was distracting me the whole time, I love seeing how he’s enjoying himself on stage. He’s such a fun one to watch.
Chenle is the member I was looking forward to the most because he couldn’t make it to my country’s stop during TDS2. He did NOT fall under any expectations at all - his passion was radiating, his adlibs, his vocals, his stage presence, how he also knows how to have fun on stage, these just confirm how essential of a member he is to the team and how his energy just makes the concert experience heaps better. I’m so glad I got to finally see him!
Jisung my baby, the only one who teared up during Graduation. His ments were so sincere my heart went soft, esp when he mentioned that this is not forever and wishes to create happy memories with fans as much as he can + he worked hard hoping to not feel our time is wasted. I just wish I could tell him that he is already doing very well! And hearing him sing live this minute and then rap the other, plus how well he nailed every dance solo during BTG, Glitch Mode, Hot Sauce just shows what a versatile and all-rounded idol he is. SM GIVE HIM A SOLO PRODUCTION ALR.
Lastly, some special mentions. I do think some friendships are worth mentioning here based on the concert. Haechan was looking at Mark during Graduation and this sent feels. We all know the emotional rollercoaster ride with the graduation system back then. Jaem and Jeno are practically the inseparable pair at this point - personally I enjoyed all their interactions on stage and those by them are the best for me. Major ‘best friends I wish I had what they have’ energy and vibes (that day was also their decade anniversary of first meeting each other in SM!) Jisung’s unexpected backhug to Chenle during Candy was also a pleasant surprise. And Ten, Kun, Yangyang, Minho came to the concert!
7Dream, though young, you can tell they are a bunch with experience and it shows. I can see their sincerity in every stage, also love how they are able to add their ideas to the stages making everything better. I can’t wait for their comeback this month already. IT’S GONNA BE GREAT KNOW IT.
That’s all!

I’m gonna try to keep this short, but I have so many thoughts.
I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My mom was the “more” abusive one, but my dad was abusive too. Dad ended up getting full custody after their divorce as he was the breadwinner and my mom had more severe and obvious mental health issues. Long story short I was encouraged to hate my mom my entire life by my dad and kind of did? But as an adult looking back, starting to hate my dad actually. Haven’t spoken to him in 6+ months and not sure I ever want to speak to him again- Looking to this sub for thoughts/advice.
Mom abuse highlights- Would tell me I was a bad kid and bad sister to my brother (ages 6-11ish), spanked my brother and I with a wooden board that had holes drilled in it for “aerodynamics” and a face drawn on it names “the boss” (my dad witnessed and I guess condoned this), hit me and kicked me, on one occasion appx 11 years old I remember laying on the ground in a ball trying to protect myself while she kicked me, spit in my face, etc etc you get the idea. She would also frequently tote us kids around while high and sometimes even to her “friends” houses to get more drugs. She was also severely schizophrenic at times and delusional, which lead to a lot of issues. Ultimately she lost her limited custody with us when I was 12. I haven’t seen her since I was 14. She’s probably dead tbh.
Dad abuse highlights- Beat the living shit out of me with a belt when I was around 6 years old. Whipped me so hard that the backs of my legs were covered in welts and I cried so hard for hours that I hyperventilated. Told me my mom wanted him to be more of a disciplinarian as an explanation/“apology” (this was during their divorce). When I was 8/9 decided my room was too messy and it was unacceptable - Shoved my 4” bookcase over in a fit of rage- Dumping its contents on the floor and shattering some ceramic/glass items- Left me to clean it up. Ages 8-10, would leave my younger brother and I unsupervised with a creepy neighbor who 100% would let his dick hang out of his pants for us to see. We are VERY lucky nothing worse happened. In highschool, started dating questionable girlfriends and treated me poorly. I barely remember details because I was probably preoccupied with highschool, but I remember him being generally shitty to me. In college, continued to be shitty. Cut me off financially, but continued to claim me as dependent. Would do family trips near my college town with the whole fam except me (I would find out later they had been in my area and didn’t let me know). Fast forward- Found myself an abusive husband (🙄). My dad met him 2-3 times? One of those times I was opening up a christmas present with a pocket knife and abusive husband forcibly ripped it out of my hands against my will so I wouldn’t “hurt myself.” Dad witnessed it, didn’t ever mention it or ask if I was okay. My dad decided abusive husband was in charge of me and would then text him things about me instead of speaking to me directly. When I confronted him about it “why are you texting him when you don’t even know him? he’s not in charge of me. text me… your daughter…” he absolutely LOST IT. Literally screamed at me, called me a bitch, terrible daughter, he’s so lucky to have my brother because I’m so worthless, etc etc. Immediately after that phone call, I texted him and told him I would absolutely not be spoken to like that or treated that way and that was the end of our relationship. We were out of contact for a few months and then he texted me out of the blue one day like nothing had ever happened.
After that… It’s been about 6-7 years of a “normal-ish” relationship where I force myself to go home for holidays and cosplay normal family. I have literally been forcing myself to do it because “it’s the only family I have.” We also would occasionally text or talk on the phone.
I divorced abusive husband after 2 years (go me, finally a win), took a few years off from serious dating while I went to therapy (another win), and have now been in a new, happy, healthy relationship with a supportive and lovely partner for years (the ultimate win, god I hope it’s forever).
Which brings me to… Christmas 2022 I did the old “have to do this” and went to my hometown for a day with my boyfriend to do Christmas at my dads. I was so uncomfortable I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I literally felt repulsed being at my old house. It felt so unnatural and wrong. He has photos of my brother and I plastered everywhere and in so many of them we look dead eyed and miserable because we were surviving abuse… We both have CPTSD symptoms that can show up as ADHD, etc.
So… I find myself thinking “but there are good memories too” “he took you on trips” whatever. But I honestly don’t think I want relationship with him. I’ve been so happy for the last 6 months not talking to him. I’m also doing EMDR soon and hope it helps with this.
Any thoughts/advice appreciated ❤️.

I just recently started a new job serving at a sushi restaurant after being at a chain steakhouse for three years. Left the steakhouse because of bad management and because I was falling behind in school due to working there and was without a job for a few months. I applied to several jobs and this job was the only one to get back to me so I took it. It’s definitely more chill and less busy than my last job which I enjoy since I have severe chronic fatigue and most days if it’s just me and another server I make my goals for tip every shift. However this restaurant has been extremely slow recently and I’ve been only having like 5 or 6 tables per shift. I worked a 10 hour double today and walked out with only $96 in tips today because of how slow it was. I literally cried in my car after my shift because of it and am debating on if I should stay at this job. My other coworkers state that it’s been really slow recently and that in the past they typically clear $300-$400 per double. I don’t know if I should wait and see it out and hope that it picks up. It took me forever to find a job and surprisingly not many places in my area are hiring so I’m afraid to quit but I’ve been making like $10 an hour working almost full time and I have bills to pay. I also really enjoy the job besides the tips because of coworkers and how it’s ran. Should I wait and see if it gets busier?

Just want to point out that not only the diary from last month event is still available, but is completely readable, even if one did not got all puzzle pieces, I know is not much, but I really like when this sort of stuff is not locked out or lost forever

My loyalty was unmatched. You knew this and this fed fuel to a very dangerous fire. One of those fires where someone always gets burned, me. I made sure I was there whenever you needed me, didn't matter the hour. Lost sleep? Not an issue as long as I could be there. Did I do it for myself too? Absolutely, I enjoyed the endless amount of time with you. I could've lived in it forever at one point and time. You gave me just enough to want to be there, for you. Even when you left, loyalty was the name of my game. It always is. Once a friend always a friend. Your secrets, hopes, dreams, sadness were nothing more than information I carried. I'm not sure if you know/knew that.
You came back but I feel like it was for various reasons, none of which had much to do with me. Maybe assurance, did she say too much? Where do I stand? Maybe not. Maybe it was because you were lonely. That's how we got here in the first place. The word that brings us all together in one way for another. Well, guess who was still there but mad as hell? I got over it, as I'm sure you knew I would. I saw it through, all the way to the end. The ending where I was no longer needed. The one where you basically called me a regret. Something that will stick with me forever because that was a first for me.
Your choices were yours. You dug your own hole and now you can live in it. I've rarely ever said a genuine goodbye to anyone. I keep my people and my people keep me. You weren't one of my people it turns out. It's unfortunate, moreso for you than for me.

When I was a kid, I would tell my dad "Dad, I am gonna do great things!!" And while he always said "I know you will, kid!" I never really thought it through. 12 year old me thought "great things" meant fame and fortune and leaving a great impact on the world at large.
Now...In 39. My pops passed at the young age of 60 back in 2016. And with Father's Day approaching, I'm just thinking about him, my life and what "great things" mean to me now.
Tonight, I went to a lil bday party for my friend's dog. Yes, I know how it sounds, but 6 months ago they found out he has cancer and not much time left on this earth. So it was 5 of us giving him cheeseburgers and puppy ice cream and relaxing in the backyard.
Other things that have transpired this week ...a rare karaoke night that spontaneously transpired after an amazing Jamaican dinner (don't care what anyone says, ackee and saltfish is a meal all day any day.)
I played chess with my husband in the backyard. I went to a state forest and hiked back into a tiny hidden cemetery where haunted folklore runs wild.
I spearheaded an event for a civic/voter non-profit for which I am VP of the board. We had an amazing time connecting with dozens of members, new and old.
I signed paperwork to cash out some equity on our home, so we can buy a new place and lease our current home to some family members (who will lease to own and make this current place our forever home.)
I spent a LOT of hours on my freelance gig, video editing for a delightful syndicated cartoon morning show.
In my full-time job, I had a last minute afternoon thought that strangely saved my ass in a morning meeting. Heart palpitations cause I almost didn't do the thing, thank God I did!
I've helped one of my oldest friends as he told his spouse he wanted a (very, very warranted) divorce.
I spent two hours on the phone with a loved one talking about life, family, dysfunction and survival and it made my heart so happy.
I grocery shopped. My basil plant in the garden is growing. My tomatoes aren't far behind.
Next week, I'm taking a cheese making class. Next weekend, I am joining friends I have known since elementary school on a quiet weekend lake escape. I am hanging out with former coworkers/turned friends to have a game night. And tomorrow morning, I'm gonna hang out in my driveway for a few hours, hosting a garage sale.
I think back to 12 year old me and what "great things" meant then. She would have wholly asserted that a basic-ass, middle-class life in Midwest USA was the anthesis of "great things." And Little Me, if you're listening, girl, I get it.
But...greatness is relative. You create it wherever you live. So yeah, I'm sorry pre-teen heylistenlady, we didn't achieve the "great things" you envisioned. But we found a great life, complete with amazing friends, an amazing job and amazing opportunities at every turn.
And Pops...I know that at this point in my life, I have more than you ever had. But I also know...all you ever wanted was for me to do exactly that.
And my tiny little, inconsequential life...is great enough for me.

TL;DR: Upped my med dosage, can't communicate with my parts now, feeling denial and also scared I'll forget that I'm a system again
I talked to my psych about my symptoms and she was very receptive and agreed DID/OSDD is a possibility given my past and symptoms/experiences.
I'm on Lamotrigine for the past 3 years for dissociative symptoms. Everytime we up the dose, the dissociation either goes away for a little while or just becomes less severe for a while I guess. She decided to up my dose again, for a variety of reasons including to see how my symptoms that I'm now fully aware of, persist.
It's been about a week I think. So far, I feel... blunted. Like, I can still kinda feel my parts presence, I can feel my personality shift as they come to front with me. But I cant hear them. Its veen distressing, usually when i have panic attacks or something, i hear V talking me thru it, telling me to breath, im gonna be okay, etc. Yesterday I had a really bad one and nothing. I couldn't hear V, I couldn't hear anyone. I'm dissociating really heavily now, which doesn't usually happen when upping my dose, that I can remember. Yesterday I also had loss of time that I was able to actually notice. I've had no "episodes" (suspected dissociative seizures). But just frequent, heavy dissociating, like I can feel them trying to push thru or reach out to me but we can't communicate. Idk if that makes any sense.
Anyways, this is just a vent, and maybe me just trying to logic my way out if the denial this is causing me. The progress I made before upping my dose was real, it happened, it's undeniable. I hope this doesn't last forever. I don't want to forget again. I don't want to have to start over. I want to learn to work, live and heal with my parts. We can't start over again.

this is like the longest post ever so, hopefully enjoy haha. but, tldr at bottom. advice wanted.
near the end of sophomore year i had a thing with a girl. long story short, it didn’t work out. i later found out that this girl, who we’ll call tilly (??lol), was also having a thing at the same time with ANOTHER girl, who we’ll call kat.
i only found out about this through kat, who messaged me only to get mad at me for it (quick reminder, had no clue this was going on. i know everyone is different but i dont believe in talking like that with multiple people at once so, if i knew that was going on i would’ve ended things myself sooner). i thought the entire thing was stupid to get mad at ME about but, i could tell she was just hurt so i tried being sympathetic, didn’t call her names or get upset with her. eventually i just told her that i wouldn’t be speaking with tilly ever again, her now girlfriend. partially out of respect for her and partially because i was mad at tilly 😑.
but i held this promise. eventually i get another text from kat, this time MUCH angrier LMAO. her acc popped up on my fyp and i swiped to her full acc, forgetting i had profile views on (terrible mistake, i about punched myself out of embarrassment). she saw me in her views and was pretty upset. asked me why i was on her acc, was much more aggressive. name calling, threatening to fight me (she quote “wanted my head”? 😏).
anyways this conversation actually ended really well, i clarified i didn’t know about her and she seemed to calm down from there. even confiding in me about how upset she was about the situation and we had a really good talk. i thought it would be over after this cause she seemed like a sweet person who was just hurt and didn’t know how to deal with it. i was very wrong.
eventually a couple months down the line i get another onslaught of seemingly random texts from her. calling me a slut and a home wrecker (you’re 16? what home?). calling me ugly, a whore, blah blah the basics. threatening pretty hard this time, i go to school on a college campus and it’s open for anyone’s entry; she planned to use this to her advantage lol. i tried very hard to be patient and refrained from calling her any names back, told her i wasn’t going to fight her, and tried talking things out. this failed LMAO
by the end of the conversation she had told me to get out of her phone (she texted me first? 😰) and said “fuck you and it’s fuck you till i die”. ngl, the idea of someone taking the thought of me to the grave is quite romantic. i just blocked her after this.
definitely thought that would be the end of it cause who is insane enough to keep going after that? kat apparently!
she contacted me on her second account! threatening to fight me again, telling me to quote “drop the addy” (giggle). i didn’t respond to it this time, at all. i was in the middle of a chem exam and rlly needed to pass. she didn’t like this and began to talk to herself about how angry she was with me from 1pm to 6pm. i blocked that account as well. but not before she got one of her friends to message me from their account, removing all the photos of them together from his account so i wouldnt know they were connected. i had already seen this guys stuff though so, i'm not an idiot LMAO. blocked that account too.
i definitely thought this would be the end. NO!!!! it had been MONTHS by now, and they were still dating so come on man arent you tired??? just have a nice relationship without bothering me. reminder, still havent spoken to tilly at ALLLLLL since the day i found out; unless it was to ask her to tell her gf to leave me alone.
it got significantly worse from this point, but its all things i cant confirm were her 100%. shes quite sneaky ngl. but, theres no one else it couldve been and all things point to her so. here we go.
first incident: after these accounts were blocked, she forged screenshots of me saying racial and homophobic slurs and SENT THEM TO MY SCHOOL!!!! my principal had to speak with me about it and my dad even came to the school. the ss forging sucked, the pfp was out of whack and way too big but, she still DID it. which i thought was literally insane.
second incident: her texting my mom. my mom is a pretty big realtor in my area. consequently, her phone number is plastered all over the place. this girl texts my mom pretending to be someone interested in buying a house. she begins the messages by saying her son knew me in middle school (????) and wanted my PHONE NUMBER so her son could reconnect with me (how sweet!). ofc my mom said she was uncomfortable with this after i said i didnt know who the hell this lady was talking about and after this the woman seized all contact with my mom. we later found out this number was FAKE!! and created through textnow. so pretty good confirmation.
most recent incident that i've been paranoid about all day haha: yesterday i received a picture of a house in my neighborhood (???) from some random burner account claiming to be someone i knew from school. i assumed they knew where i lived because it was my mom's husband's nephew (supposedly). i still thought this was suspicious, especially after they asked me to hangout (of course i said no).
this secret little account was only following 3 pages (or so i thought), all from the school that kat goes to. so, i begin interrogating this so called man named "djjwjskaka." they seemed to get pretty nervous at my questions bc things weren't adding up, eventually leading to the convo ending. i'm texting my close friend about this and they find out that its actually following 4 pages, i just couldnt see because i had it blocked. the last one is the GUY FRIEND OF KAT. WHO TRIED MESSAGING ME. TO HANG OUT. BEFORE INCIDENT 1???? blocked the hell out the account after that.
now i know that she somehow KNOWS WHERE I LIVE?? my dad said addresses arent as hard to find as i thought though so, maybe this isnt as ridiculous as i think. keep in mind, ive kept my parents completely updated throughout the YEAR this stuff has been going on. A YEAR!!! BY THE WAY!! its actually been a year and 3 months!
i was pretty freaked out about that but, no way she'd actually do something with that info lol?? wrong again.
today as im sitting in my room i hear this LOUDDDD ass banging on my window from outside. ofc i, being a goddamn scaredy cat, dont push open the curtains immediately. eventually i do, but its too late. all i see is a blue car driving off and hear loud giggling and some girl yelling "drive drive!" soooo, i go to my sister, the only other person in the house, and tell her what happened; getting on the phone with my mom right afterwards. my mom is able to confirm that the car was kat's through kat's mom's facebook, so theres that. i'm such an incredibly paranoid person and i have an anxiety disorder (woop woop) and this has been freaking me out so bad. weee even contacted the police to put it on record because theres been a ton of incidents between teenagers getting shot, stabbed, hurt really bad, in my area as of late. my mom set up a phone call with the other girl's mom tomorrow, and we have enough to press charges for harassment and stalking in my state.
look, i know to some people who deal with this stuff, my reaction is a bit ridiculous. and, maybe it is a little but, this is crazy to me. its just been going on for so long and i seriously am not a fighter. id much rather use my words and i know thats cringey but its true; i also know 100% if this girl did get physical with me i would lose badly. last thing i need is a vid of me getting my ass beat going around town, dont need any of my exes seeing that and laughing at me.
its been messing with my mental really bad as well. ive been pacing around the house making sure all curtains are closed and all doors are locked since it happened. i think its funny sometimes but atp i just genuinely want it to stop forever. getting played like an idiot was already enough, but having this girls gf come after me consistently for over a year and now coming to my house (still dk how she got my address) makes it 100000x more annoying.
hopefully this story entertained someone, but on a real note. if anyone has any advice, anyone more experienced, maybe even a parent, please. mine have been relatively supportive but, theyre stressed out about it too. i feel like a scared little kid haha, could really use a good talking to about this entire thing.
tldr: had a thing with a girl, girl was having a thing with another person at the same time (i had no idea). other person found out about this after her and said girl started dating and has been on a rampage on me ever since. sending me threats, constantly texting me after being blocked, sending forged screenshots of me saying awful things to my school's principal, finding my mom's number and pretending to be someone i knew trying to get my phone number, pretending to be someone i knew to get me to come out of my house to "hang out", and finally coming to my LITERAL house and banging on windows and shit. someone with experience pls help, could use some advice for sure. dont know what to do, been very paranoid.

I just got into a fight with my godfather and my mom—one where I was looking for help and guidance. Instead, I got a blunt person on the other end telling me that I'm not trying hard enough to find a job and that Ken my ex-now roommate can treat me however he wants to, he can go out and he can lie to you, and you have to deal with it, or come home.
Yes, I was severely crying out for help saying I don't wanna be here, all I got was that's a copout, do you want me to call the cops, and go call 988 they'll help you. As if either one of them has called them in their life. They aren't helpful.
I got angry hung up, and didn't wanna take another call, but did tell my own mom I don't wanna talk. Yeah, I know I threw a fit, but I learned that from her. Only she got away with it. The fit was because I don't want to let my Dad's stuff go, but she has my "truth-telling" Godfather and her going through it.
​
Dad has only been gone for four months, and she can't see how it affects me. The only time I had a say was with what I wanted.
You see I've dealt with my Narsasictic mom forever. She used to throw fits if I tried to have friends, she would push them away, get angry because I wanted to be me, and harass me making me cry saying that's the truth. When she got angry she would follow me around the house daring me to hit her. She only stopped because Dad said she'd be the one to get arrested if she did get me to hit her.
I had to raise myself through T.V. and movies. Because my dad was too busy working himself to death because my mom couldn't keep a job. She'd get angry and quit. No, that's okay with my godfather because she raised you. No, she didn't.
This fight was the last straw even though it started with my so-called godfather it ended with her trying to manipulate me with the "I'm sorry you feel that way, or it's your problem if you can't handle me telling you the truth." Manipulation is everywhere, and I can't handle it anymore.
She said I was to call her if I ever felt like committing suicide. This was the help from my godfather and her. She's a liar and so is he.
That was the last straw the camel's back broke in half. I'm never going to trust her again.

So it was the Albany Alive at 5 series, a free concert thing the city does on Thursdays in the Summer. My girlfriend loves Hawthorne Heights and I love music so we went and it was a great time.
Apparently a staple of Midwest emo is to have stories told over interlude music between songs? I didn’t know this but it made for 3 great references.
The first was the band remarking about how they had to fill 90 minutes, that it would be the longest set they ever played, and they said “we’re like the emo Grateful Dead!”
The second one was during a story about the band being around a long time, 20 years now, and thanking the fans and trying to correlate themselves to other long-lasting bands and they said “….the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, the Grateful Dead, or other bands than have been around forever”
The last one was probably during a story about taking care of the kids and turning them onto music and being good humans and it somehow ended with him saying “we’re trying to turn you into emo Deadheads!”
Lol real funny. I have some videos I’ll upload too!

In a few years from now I will graduate college and work. I am wondering about where I should live or what place is right for me. Right now I live in a small town in Indiana. I was thinking about moving to a somewhat bigger city in Indiana, but now I’m not to sure if I want to stay here or not. One of my friends thinks I would like it in Japan and another thinks I would like it in California. So I’m going to list my preferences for what kind of area I would want to live in or just random information that might make a difference.
-I prefer to live in a suburban type area. (Somewhere that isn’t a huge city but not a small town either.)
-I want to live in a house. I would hate living in an apartment building forever.
-I would want to have my own car and drive it around. I don’t think I would like being in a subway all the time.
-I don’t want to live somewhere that has a high crime rate. I want there to be little crime.
-I want to live in a safe place. I don’t want to deal with dangerous places weather that be people or issues with nature.
-I think it would be cool to live in a beachy area but I also don’t want to deal with hurricanes.
-I think it would be cool to live in California but they have a lot of wildfires and things are expensive there. But maybe it wouldn’t matter if I made a lot of money.
-I want a decent sized backyard. I want to own a trampoline.
-I don’t plan on having kids and I probably won’t get married either.
-I want to be able to walk around and get exercise.
-I would want there to be nice places to shop.
-I don’t want to live in a boring place with nothing to do.
-I would love to explore my city and go to new places in it and walk around a lot.
-I would prefer to be in a liberal area. I would want to be around people that are pro lgbt.
-If I ever got raped and got pregnant I would want to get an abortion.
-I want to live around kind and chill people.
-I want it to be quite around my house, or at least pretty quite. As for in town I don’t care as much.
-I can’t handle supper hot environments. I have been to Florida and it’s too hot for me. I wouldn’t prefer to live in a super cold environment either but if I had to choose I would prefer a cold environment over a hot one. But a place with like a 60 degree Fahrenheit temperature would be nice.
-I don’t want to live in a poor area. I want to live in a place that I would make a lot of money from or at least a decent amount. (I plan on becoming an interior designer.)
-I would probably need to live in a somewhat busy city for my job. There aren’t many interior design jobs in small towns.
-I would probably prefer to live in the U.S. If I did move to a different country I would probably go to Canada.
-I hate super busy traffic.
-I get lost easily and I need to use a GPS a lot.
-I don’t know if I really care about being around relatives. A lot of my friends and family live out of state and my parents and grandparents and a couple of other relatives live in Indiana. I wouldn’t mind not seeing them all the time.
-I would want to live in a house that’s modern, minimalistic, and an average size.
-I would prefer to live at least somewhat close to work.
-I don’t want to work more than 40 hours a week. A couple of hours less would be cool. I would want a lot of vacation breaks. I would not want to work on the weekends. I would probably like a normal Monday through Friday 9-5 job.
-I would prefer to stay in one area and not move around all the time.
-I have a tree but allergy so even if I did move to a random country I would have to be careful about the food. I also hate seafood.
-I want to do my own laundry at my house.
-I like cloudy weather the best.
-I hate snow and ice and I get super anxious when driving in the winter.
-I don’t like wind and I don’t care for super sunny weather.
-I don’t mind rain that much.
-I don’t want to be in a super foggy place.
-I want to be able to hang out with friends on the weekends.
So based on this information, what place do you think would fit best for me? Thanks!

Part 1 - https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/11ovngn/i_play_a_game_they_call_sleep_points_every_night/
Previous Part - https://www.reddit.com/nosleep/comments/13deva8/i_play_a_game_they_call_sleep_points_every_night/
When I got home from school, even though I knew the clock wasn’t literally going to try to eat me alive like it always seemed to want to on weeknights, I still watched it intensely, dreading every minute that passed. Even though this had all been what I was hoping for over the course of the last week and a half, going through with everything I would need to do to meet up with Anastasia at her hour in the middle of the night still seemed way scarier than just dealing with the clock’s nightly threats against my life which, by that point, had become something of a routine for me.
At 11:00 PM, my parents looked like they had gone to sleep. I would wait another hour as Anastasia had advised. I would leave at midnight. And that wouldn’t be a problem since it was a Friday night, and my clock wasn’t going through its usual changes. By that time, the clock hadn’t started glowing or even turning the slightest shade of red.
When midnight did come, the clock was still in the same state as it was at 11. My parents were still asleep. They hadn’t even gotten up for a bathroom break. I turned on the kitchen lights, hoping it wouldn’t wake my parents up. It didn’t. I went to the kitchen table to take the keys to my father's truck. They weren’t there. I had no idea where else to look for them.
I tried looking all around the kitchen and living room. I checked mom and dad's bathroom. Nothing. I didn’t know how I would make my way to Anastasia’s house now. I could just picture her, spending all night at her back door, waiting for me to show up, without me ever coming. Maybe I'd find the keys tomorrow. But that seemed like a fat chance since dad wasn't gonna be driving anywhere tomorrow.
I wouldn't have him to find them for me. It looked like I’d have to wait a whole nother week on any answers now.
I had recently invested in a new watch. I had some allowance money left over from when I was a kid. My school has a little gift shop with small things like school-themed wristwatches, so after my last class of the day, I stopped by and picked up a College High watch so I could check the time without needing to look at the clock in my room or at my phone. I'm bringing this up because at around this point I was watching with increasing anxiety as time was passing by. According to the watch, the time now was 12:30 and I still didn’t have any access to my father’s car.
I was already feeling hopeless enough, just thanks to that fact, but then I remembered that I still didn’t even know how to get to Anastasia’s house.
Since I still didn’t know where the keys were and it didn’t look like I’d find them any time soon, I figured I’d take a break from looking, and go on my phone to look up her address on google maps. I knew I shouldn’t have been using my phone since it was apparently super important not to let it die. I figured it must've been one of those rules like keeping my head under the blanket when The Sandman showed up, along with the rest of my body. But I would only need my phone for a few minutes. Just enough time to look at google maps and sketch out a rough map of the route from my house to Anastasia’s.
The first thing I noticed when I typed in her address was that, thankfully, her house wasn’t too horrendously far away from mine. It would just be a 4-mile drive. So hopefully this meant that, if push did come to shove, I could still just walk there if I had too. I’d probably be late, but that would be better than not showing up at all. So, I at least had that as a back-up plan if nothing else. But it would still be risky. It would take a lot of time to walk there, and then to walk back. Maybe mom and dad would be up after all was said and done. Maybe they’d hear me coming back inside the house, regardless of how I made it to Anastasia’s. Maybe I’d wake up Anastasia’s parents too.
Since I only had an hour and thirty-five minutes left, I had no time to worry all that much about any of this though. I had to get to work, jotting down the path to Anastasia’s house. I would turn left out of my driveway, stay on that road for about a mile and a half, then turn right and stay on that road for another half-mile, then turn left for another mile, and then left again for a final fourth mile.
Another thing I noticed was that Anastasia lived out in the middle of absolute nowhere. I thought I did too, but Anastasia’s house was on a whole nother level of out there.
Fortunately, that meant I’d be driving pretty much exclusively on backroads, so it would literally be impossible to take a wrong turn after I made my first turn out of the driveway and the next right turn after that after about a mile and a half. It also meant that I would be pretty much guaranteed not to run into any other drivers, especially at that time of night. But I guess her remote address explained why she didn’t have the internet connection she would need to do a video call.
Since it was a quarter to 1 by that point, after I found out how to drive to her house, I put on all the layers I could find, took the flashlight that my mom had given me for the walk I had went on during the week prior, and started trying to walk over there, without my parents’ car, despite her recommendations. Even though it was four miles by car, I wouldn't have to worry about staying on the road if I just walked there. If I walked in a straight line, I could get there in just over 2 and half miles or so. I had decided to leave, not out of the front door, but out of the door in the hallway that led to the garage. That door made less noise than the front door.
Unfortunately, I started to get the sense that I hadn’t thought this plan through when I realized I would still have to open the garage door in order to make my way into the outside world. Which, yeah, made considerably more noise than the front door. But then I realized it didn’t matter, since I was gonna have to open the garage door anyway if I wanted to get the car out of the garage and onto the road. So, I had still made the right decision. Except no I hadn’t, because I had just remembered that I still didn’t have the car keys, and so I was supposed to be ditching the whole car idea anyway and had just randomly forgotten about all of that.
I know that all probably sounded pretty messy and wasn't very easy to follow, but maybe someone else reading with ADHD can relate. But anyway, confusing thought processes aside, I walked out the front door and started making my way to Anastasia’s on foot. It really was freezing though. I really did wonder if I could actually make it all the way to her house.
Before I even made it to the end of the driveway, I began to change my mind and decided driving really would be a more reasonable alternative. Obviously, the backroads wouldn’t even be close to snow plowed. But the snow only looked to be about maybe 6 or 7 inches deep, which was still driveable enough with the snow-proof tires that my dad had on his truck. This level of snow isn't all that uncommon around here, so those tires are pretty much a must-have for anybody living in deathly cold climates like us.
So, I could still drive despite the snow, albeit only very slowly what with how much the snow would slow me down. But I was supposed to be driving slowly anyway because I was only 14 and didn’t have a license. But I still couldn’t drive without those keys. Then I remembered I still had my bike in the garage. It was supposedly “all terrain”, so hopefully that meant it could handle the snow. I went into the garage, got my bike out, and tried riding it. Unfortunately, the tires on that bike weren’t even close to capable of handling the snow. I tried pedaling as hard as I could but hardly got anywhere before falling over. I had a feeling this would probably happen. It seemed like a dumb idea but, since I didn’t want to steal my dad’s truck and I couldn’t even seem to find his keys anyway, I figured it was at least worth a shot.
I was just about to say “fuck it” and try meeting Anastasia again on some other night when, just as I had put my bike down in the garage, I had seen that my dad had left behind his keys in the key slot of his car door. Apparently, the reason that they weren’t where they usually were was because my father had locked the truck and just forgot to take his keys with him. I turned the key sticking out of the driver’s side door and it opened. So I really could get inside of his truck after all.
I put the key into the ignition and then put it in reverse. The truck made quite a bit of noise when its ignition started, so I had just hoped that I hadn’t woken up my parents with that. Luckily, my garage is on the other side of the house from where my parents sleep, so the sound did at least have a long way to travel. Once I started backing the truck out of the garage and into the driveway, I ran into another problem. Since the roads weren’t plowed, they were just as snowy as anywhere else. So even with the rearview mirror, I had no idea where my driveway stopped and the road started. I figured I would just keep backing up until I felt like I’d gone far enough.
Far enough came sooner than expected though. Eventually, the car had very clearly backed into the grass, meaning I had backed up too far. Fortunately, I saw that I hadn’t veered too much out of the straight line I was trying to go in, because driving in reverse meant I could see the truck’s tracks right in front of me with the help of the headlights. The car fell onto the grass from back to front. So that meant that the road was now directly in front of me. Since I needed to take a left from my house if I was facing away from it, and I was now facing the opposite direction given that I was looking right at it, that meant that I now had to make a right turn in order to still be going in the right direction.
I took a moment to make sure my logic was right and, once I felt confident, I turned the truck right and then tried to feel for where the road was based on how well the truck was able to move. Eventually I was able to drive relatively smoothly, so I took that to mean that I was back on the road. I tried to angle myself properly so that I wouldn’t wind up veering off the road again. Now and then I would wind up driving myself off the road. But since I was only going like 5 miles an hour, I was able to catch myself before the car wound up falling into any ditches or something.
Since the road was entirely empty, I eventually made the decision to just drive in the middle of the road. Or at least, wherever I thought the middle of the road was. That way, I’d limit the likelihood of driving myself off the right edge.
After about 20 or 30 minutes of driving painfully slowly, I finally saw the sign for my first turn. Since all the turns I was making were fairly sharp ones, they were basically all 90 degrees, there were road signs that I could use to gauge when I should turn without needing to see the road itself. So I still knew when to do it, even though I couldn’t see the road under all the snow and I couldn't use GPS since my phone had to stay on the charger at all costs.
But the snow still made those sharp turns very difficult to make. So I had to start all my turns pretty far ahead of where they actually would’ve been in the road. Naturally, I wound up driving off the road when making literally all of them. But I was always able to work out where the road was supposed to be soon enough. I guess since people are more likely to veer off the road when making turns as opposed to when they’re driving straight, there didn’t seem to be any ditches around all those sharp turns, thankfully enough.
After I made that first turn, I checked my watch. It was now a quarter after 1. I still had 50 minutes to go. I wasn’t making great time, but I had still made it about a third of the way in only about 25 minutes. If I kept up the pace, I’d be there after just under an hour of driving. Which would put me there a little bit after 2 AM. So, pretty much exactly at 2:05, the time we agreed on.
I kept on driving incredibly slowly for what felt like forever. Finally I had made my last turn, and after a bit, I could see lights from the houses off the side of the road in the distance. I figured that this must be the neighborhood Anastasia lived in. If you could even call it a neighborhood. The houses were so hugely spaced out that it hardly even made sense to say you had neighbors. But then, she really did live out in the middle of nowhere.
Every time I passed by a house, I got out of the car and looked for an address with my flashlight. This slowed me down, but it still ensured that I would be headed for the right house. I kept the slip of paper with her address on it since I knew that, without that sheet, I’d absolutely forget which address was hers. I was actually pretty pleased with myself for having thought ahead like that. I usually didn’t. I guess I still usually don’t, if I’m being honest.
I was worried that this whole procedure of getting out of the car to scope out for an address every time I passed a new house would make me late. But fortunately, Anastasia’s house was the third house I came across on that street. So thankfully, I didn’t wind up having to check that many houses and it only cost me maybe another 5 minutes. When I checked my watch, I found I had actually arrived sooner than I had thought. Even with checking every house I had come across up to that point for the address, it was only 1:50.
I had made it with 15 minutes to spare. That meant I had made that last two thirds of my trip in about the same amount of time that I had spent on my first, meaning I had wound up going twice as fast. I suppose as I had gotten comfortable with driving, I sped up the car a little without even realizing it. Doubling your speed sounds like it should be a huge difference, but when you’re only going from 5 miles per hour to 10, I guess it must be pretty hard to notice.
Since I had so much time left and the weather outside was still hellishly cold, I stayed in the truck with the heater blaring. After a couple of minutes, I noticed an ominous red light glowing out of the side of the house. That seemed off to me since surely that couldn’t have anything to do with Anastasia’s clock. It wasn’t a weeknight and even if it was, it was still well past midnight. I remembered what she had told me about how I was still on Stage One. Maybe the fact that she was on a much later stage had something to do with what I was seeing. The fact that I was still on Stage One did, after all, seem like it had something to do with the fact that I was only threatened by the clock on weeknights.
My curiosity had gotten the better of me, and so I braved the cold and snow to go check out what was happening. There was a window on the side of the house. The curtains were left open so with the red light blaring from it, I could see inside fairly easily. Especially since the house was only one story, so it wasn’t like the window was too high up off the ground for me to see through, either.
My fears had been confirmed. Upon looking into the room, I could see exactly where the red light was emanating from: the clock on the nightstand. The face inside was as clear as ever. Every feature slowly growing, approaching the glass in front of the clock’s face. But it wasn’t looking at me. It was very clearly directing its vile and hateful gaze at the person under the covers.
The person had her head covered underneath the blanket, so I couldn’t directly tell who it was. But I figured it had to be Anastasia. For one, there was no way in hell anybody else in her family was playing Sleep Points too. I mean, what are the odds of that? And for another, the room pretty clearly looked like it belonged to a teenage girl about Anastasia’s age. Everything looked like it was pink and had all kinds of frills to it. I even noticed some boyband poster on the other end of the room. If this wasn’t the most stereotypical teenage girl’s room, I had no fucking clue what was.
Finally, 2 o’clock had come. I could see why she had told me 2:05. I had never seen the monster from the clock break out. I had always had my head under the covers whenever it happened. But since this was Anastasia’s clock and not mine and since the face in the clock was staring her down and not me, and since I had entire wall separating me from the thing, I guess I somehow managed to muster up the courage to watch the monster in action.
Suddenly, the hands and numbers of the clock’s face began to almost melt into the monster’s face. It had broken out of the sheet of glass holding it back. But that seemed to be the only thing that was broken. The rest of the actual clock remained pretty intact as the unspeakable thing from within started to slither out of the clock and onto the floor. Since the hands and numbers were still on its face, it kinda looked like they had been imprinted on it like some kind of tattoo artwork. It very quickly expanded in size and let out this unholy screech that I could hear very loudly even from behind the window. But Anastasia was still sleeping very peacefully. Totally motionless like nothing at all was going on.
It prowled around her bed, looking for the slightest sign of motion. It looked almost skeptically at her. As if it could tell whether she was really sleeping or not. And God only knows what would’ve happened to her if she wasn’t. Eventually the monster seemed satisfied with what he saw and shrunk himself down to his original size. He slid back into the clock and as he did so, there was one last glow of red light. The glass had been restored. It was now 2:01.

The default forever alone sub was my go to for the last few months to vent. Despite being trans, I felt like everyone there shared that same feeling of being completely alienated from the world. I felt understood like never before.
I have been hiding in my parents house since graduating college 6 years ago, I barely go outside, I haven't had friends since I was 14, I have never been kissed, never went on a date, never had a boyfriend, never had sex. I missed out on every single milestone, I have no social life, I have no work experience. All I ever wanted was the white picket fence life, to found a soulmate, get married young, now as I'm approaching 30 I would be starting to think about having children and starting my own family. The realization I will never be this beautiful, delicate and normal woman, that I'll never be acepted by society or my family, that I'll never find love and bear my own children keeps me up at night. So much so I have been only falling asleep about 5-6am for the last few months. I hate myself, I hate how I look even if there is no one around to see me. I just wanted to be normal.
Until last night at least I had a sub to vent, I felt welcomed and would often comment on other people's posts. I made a post about these thoughts that trouble me, about how I wanted to have a normal experience at life. There were only two comments, one told me that transwomen are a big hit in hook up apps, that as long as I dressed up I could probably have sex with men. Other said he didn't understood how I could be FA, that gay men have no standarts and that having sex for me would be easy.
I really thought about killing myself after that, the people who I thought were in the same boat as me just invalidated everything I feel. What good would it do for me to either pretend to be a gay man or dress up in womens clothes to attract someone because of their kinks? It's like they didn't read the part about being accepted by my family, about having a normal job, about being respected by society, about getting married and having children.
Sometimes I feel completely invisible, I jsut want someone to acknowledge I exist and that my pain is real. I'm sick of being supportive to others only to be dismissed. I just want to die.