XBOX One users: Are you looking to buy or sell something for money? This is your thread!

• There is a whole sub devoted to maintaining a reputation, which you can find here, but keep in mind that YOU need to copy/paste and search usernames here, not just trust links that get sent to you.
• CLICK HERE to search a user on the Universal Scammer List. This will tell you if a user has been banned or not. Remember that banned users can still message you.
• As a reminder, any reposting of the same/similar content within this post will be considered spam and against our rules. You may post to the PM thread later when it gets posted.
• You can find the detailed rules here. Please review them before commenting.
• Make an effort to condense your comment or it will be removed. Don't make it scream for attention; you're selling something, we get it. If it's taking up half a mobile screen...it's too much. If you're using the heading text, all caps, etc. it's too much.

PS4 users: Are you looking to buy or sell something for money? This is your thread!

• There is a whole sub devoted to maintaining a reputation, which you can find here, but keep in mind that YOU need to copy/paste and search usernames here, not just trust links that get sent to you.
• CLICK HERE to search a user on the Universal Scammer List. This will tell you if a user has been banned or not. Remember that banned users can still message you.
• As a reminder, any reposting of the same/similar content within this post will be considered spam and against our rules. You may post to the PM thread later when it gets posted.
• You can find the detailed rules here. Please review them before commenting.
• Make an effort to condense your comment or it will be removed. Don't make it scream for attention; you're selling something, we get it. If it's taking up half a mobile screen...it's too much. If you're using the heading text, all caps, etc. it's too much.

I recently bought an electric bike for commute and was thinking of using it to bike to school (Capilano University) but I never biked over the Iron Workers Bridge before and not sure about the bike route to the university, so I was wondering if anyone knows the best route to go to CapU through the bridge?

What are your thoughts on how I should title some of my videos?
Generally speaking, I have two kinds of videos. Special projects, and regular weekly videos.
Special projects are easy to name. I'm doing unique things, like for example changing the belt on my lawnmower. So you call it something like "How to change the drive belt in X brand lawn mower". Simple, easy enough.
My other videos are my weekly yardwork videos. Mowing the lawn, doing weed wacking etc. There is some small amount of variation of the tasks I'm doing but overall, it's the same stuff every week. So a typical video title would be something like "Mowing the Lawn and Weedwacking - Early June"
So my video titles from my regular weekly yardwork videos are VERY similarepetitive. And this is the bulk of my channel.
Here's some example I've tried to mix up a bit:

• Weed-wacking & Mowing Some Thick Grass - Late August
• Lawn Mowing & Fertilizing - Early September
• Just a Mow, No Trimming - Mid August
• Weed-wacking and Mowing the Lawn - Mid August
• Mowing the Lawn and Full Trimming - Late July

Am I best to try to mix up the titles as much as I can, even though it won't be much? Or would I be better off to just let them be very repetitive so that people looking for, for example lawn mowing videos, will be able to find my videos easier. And also maybe my videos won't have that much mass appeal aside from people specifically looking for this type of video? So maybe casting a large net is doing more harm than good? I dunno what do you think? Other channels that post the same content every week or every few days, would typically just throw a number on it. Like "[Activity] Episode #33" for example. Which is what I was doing when I started but I quickly changed that to more descriptive titles. I'm just concerned about posting two dozen videos in a row all titled "Mowing the Lawn and Weed Wacking"

John was bored one night and decided to get to work on something. He didn't know what exactly to do, so he decided to write a story since writing was one of his hobbies. However, John was so bored that he didn't even know what to write about, so that's when he gave up and went right back to bed staring at his vinyl record copy of The Best of Bread resting on his turntable. He was too lazy to at least make an attempt to drop the needle on the record and listen to some music. Instead, he just stared at the ceiling desperately wanting to do something great, but lacking the energy and motivation to do so; he needed some kind of incentive... John suddenly jolted not realizing that he had dosed off, so he decided to call it a night and close his eyes for good till morning. It was 12:37am...
Twisting, turning, and mumbling, John finally woke up not feeling too well, but it was only 2:00am. He stumbled to the bathroom like a blind drunk man to pee and wash his face. He was cold and shivering like a worried puppy trying to shake off the unpleasant dream that he woke from. After he washes his hands, he stares at himself in the mirror recalling the dream he just had...
A white middle aged man was mowing a lawn. The lawn looked like a small version of John's childhood home in Jonesborough Tennessee. The man was wearing a beige straw hat and had a smirk on his face while constantly wiping his sweat. There was no one else around, just the man mowing the lawn. There was something cold and unwelcoming about the lawn mowing man's presence. He never made eye contact with John, yet John felt as though he was looking at him. "But how?" John whispered to himself... The more John wondered that question to himself, the more hostile the presence of the lawnmowing man became. Still, the man never batted an eye at John, but gave the feeling as though he knew everything about John and was watching him like a Hawk... The lawn mowing man's smirk grew larger, more sweat began to pour from his face as he violently swatted his hands across his sunburnt forehead... Suddenly the ambience became louder and louder which resembled a chaotic orchestral crescendo and...
John suddenly snaps back to reality while still gazing at himself in the mirror; he smirks and tries to laugh the dream away, but there was just something so unsettling about the dream that words just couldn't describe. John desperately wanted to forget about the dream and was too scared to go back to bed fearing that the dream may reappear. He gets back in bed and stares at the ceiling once again but accidentally doses off...
John finally sleeps well until morning when he wakes up to briefly eat some cereal and then gets back in bed realizing he doesn't work on Saturdays... It was dark and raining, but no thunder or lighting, just rain. John hears the sound of a lawnmower revving. It comes in and out of audible range. He rolls out of bed like lazy lion and peeks out of the window only to see the lawnmowing man once again. This time however, the lawnmowing man waves with a normal looking smile on his face while politely hollering, "Hi John! How are ya?"
John suddenly springs upward on his bed like a petrified deer unable to move and process what's going on! "Oh crap, it's 2:00pm!" John says to himself feeling like the end of the world is at hand. John's mind slowly starts to wake up as he begins to relax remembering that he doesn't work on Saturdays. But nothing seemed to be able to ease him away from that dreadful dream. Nothing he did could shake that feeling off, it was almost as though the dream really did happen in some unearthly dimension or realm that the human spirit goes to while slumbering... But there it was again, the sound of the lawnmower slowly going in and out of audible range... John chuckles realizing that the active lawnmowing team outside was the reason he dreamed of a lawnmower in his dream... But what about the first dream? he thought to himself...
It was a beautiful sunny day and John wanted to take advantage of the day while also hoping to forget about the unpleasant dream he had. He ate a quick meal and dressed himself for an adventure to the grocery store. He had to pee before leaving, so he went to the bathroom to take care of business... While washing his hands, he stares at himself in the mirror and chuckles again trying to convince himself that it was just a normal dream. "It was literally just a dream about a man mowing the lawn, I mean how is that scary?" he said. "I mean, maybe I was feeling a little sick and that's why such a normal dream felt so terrifying. Oh well, it's normal. Let's go get some groceries and ice cream so that I can focus on that story I want to try to write this time tonight!"
John hits the road in his silver 2012 Mustang leaving nothing but dust and bad bad dreams behind. As he's driving through a suburban area, he notices a man in a beige straw hat mowing their lawn... John chuckles and says, "Haha, see? Totally normal!" John finally arrives at the local grocery store... John parks his Mustang when the sky suddenly turns grey as rush of pale clouds dim the skies. The grocery store looked rather ghostly and depressing. There were many old looking cars that resembled a 2002 Toyota Camry, some with rusting canopies and dirty hubcaps. Out in the distance of the lot, there was a lawnmowing team truck branded with a decal that read Straw Hat Lawncare...
John made his way into the the grocery store and felt a bitter welcome from everyone inside. Nobody glanced at John. Everyone in the store looked like depressed fish passing by each other. There was a Hispanic family talking Spanish. The father was wearing a green jersey and the mother was sporting a pink sweater with grey sweatpants. Their kids were following along while randomly touching items. John was Hispanic as well, but felt no connection around this family. That's when John started to notice that nobody made eye contact with him, even when he said "excuse me" to reach for something. Not the employees, not the local sheriff, not the old lady looking at flowers, nobody... Not that John wanted to be looked at or noticed, but there was something odd about this, almost as if everybody was purposefully told not to make any kind of contact with him. It was a feeling that was hard to explain.
John quickly grabs some groceries to rush over to checkout to test if the cashier would at least say hello or something. But to John's disappointment, the cashier did not even greet John when he set his items down on the checkout countertop. The conveyor belt squeaks every time it moves; it's movement seems so lifeless, just like the cashier... Still, no eye contact whatsoever, not even if he tried to make conversation. The cashier just looked down the whole time. John started to panic inside, something just didn't feel right. It's not all in my head! John thought to himself... John grabs his groceries and heads for the exit when he notices a dirty looking man wearing beige straw hat smoking a cigarette. This man happened to be the only person that glanced at John, but it wasn't a pleasant glance. The man had a grim look on his face... John started to get the feeling that everybody was on to him, and that even the people who were ignoring him were actually very aware of his presence.
John was a good guy, not a saint, but a good-hearted person. He's never caused any harm to anyone and has always been a respectful gentlemen. But why? Why does it feel like these people hate me for no reason? John thought to himself again. Although John was physically being ignored, he got the feeling that everybody was actually looking at him... John quickly paces towards his Mustang. His heart throbbing, muscles tightening, jaw clenching, head aching; John starts his car and glances around. He looks out his right window and sees the dull grocery store. He looks straight ahead and sees the lawnmowing team truck. He looks to his left and sees a man with a beige straw hat right next to the window. The man knocks looking like he was begging for money. John being good hearted lowers the window but the man speaks before John could do anything, "Your back tire is flat!" The man kept repeating the same phrase over and over as if having a flat tire was bad luck. The man reeked of whiskey and tabaco, he had no front teeth and looked like he was wired on methamphetamine or something. "Come on out here and look!" the man exclaimed. "That tire's lookin bad man, you gotta get that fixed. You got one of them spares?" "Yeah, I got a spare." John said. "I got this, don't worry about me." "OF COURSE I'm gon worry bout you brother, that's what we do round here!"
The man starts telling a story about his brother Phil who had a flat tire because he was being shot at by some thugs. The man's story seems to go on forever and John starts to tune out. John glances out in the distance over the man's shoulder; the man's voice begins to get muddled as John focuses on someone getting out of the lawnmowing team truck in the distance. His heart starts to race when he sees another man with a beige straw hat stepping out of the car, except this time, John felt a very hostile vibration. The man in the distance puffed a cloud of smoke when he quickly glanced towards John's way with an evil look on his face... John looks behind and sees another man with a beige straw hat just like the one from his dream. Oddly enough, this man waved and shouted, "Hello! Need some help?"
John's heart started to pound and he almost felt like fainting. Maybe it's just my anxiety. "I've got to go!" John told the whiskey breathed man and cranked on his Mustang. He peeled out of the parking lot like a rabbit fearing for it's life. He could still hear the whiskey breathed man crying, "Hey man! I just wanted to help!" The whiskey breathed man kept crying, "I just wanted to help man! I JUST WANTED TO HELP!!" Tears rolling down his face, down his now sad face, "I just wanted to help you DOOD!! Why? WHY this gotta happen to me man? WHY! Why man? Come on! I JUST WANTED TO HELP!! I just wanted to help! Ahh!! AHHH!!!"
John finally arrived back home and hurried out of his car into his house... Suddenly everything was quiet... Too quiet... Finally, peace. I just have to rest and forget about that dream I had. It's ok, that whiskey breathed man was just really high on meth, he didn't hurt me. I was just really freaked out, that's all. I hope that man will be alright. I feel kind of bad, I didn't want to leave him there all alone. He looked like he was a hurting man, could've used a little company. No, what am I thinking? He was just high. Why should I trust some random meth-head like that? Awe, he's alright. He's cool... I'm tired now, I'm just going to relax and see if I can start that story! Yeah, that'll cheer me up! It's just life, weird stuff happens! But what about... No, forget it... But why was I seeing men with beige straw hats all day like the man in my dream? Nah, I'm overthinking, it was just a hot sunny day today, duh... But what about all of those grim looking people at the store? I felt like they were on to me, like they were all in on it. Oh crap! Maybe they know about my dream! No way, that's not possible... But what if dreams really are connected to real-life? I mean, it's part of life after all... Nah, that's too weird, it's all in my head...
Suddenly, the sound of a 4-stroke engine starts revving... Grass? At this time? It's late evening. John crawls over to his window and sees a man in a beige straw hat cutting the neighbors lawn... "Ahh!!" John jolts upwards biting his nails. He crawls back to his bed and tries to once again justify what's happening... Suddenly, he smells cigarette smoke. "What's that smell?" he says... He slowly glances at a dirty light blue uniform and before he could make out what it is, a raspy voice 'declares, "WE"RE WATCHING YOU..." Another voice says, "WE'RE LOOKING AT YOU, HAPPY NOW?" Another voice answers that one, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO DALE JERK! AH HAHA!" "YEAH, YOU'RE SO MEAN FOR LEAVING HIM BEHIND!" "DALE ERA UN BUEN HOMBRE..." Said a Spanish voice...
John slowly looked up and saw an extremely pale faced version of the cashier from the grocery store and still not making eye contact, but three inches away from John saying, "Hi honey, how are ya?" and then repeats the phrase over again, "I SAID HOW ARE YA HONEY? WHAT, CAT GOTCHA TONGUE? WELL I'LL FEED IT TO MUH CATS WHEN I GET HOME THEN! BET CHU DON'T HAVE THE DECENCY TO HELP OUT DALE WITH A LITTLE BIT OF FOOD, DO YA?" She kept shouting at John three inches away while still not making eye contact. "SO? HOW YA DOING HONEY? FIND EVERYTHING YA NEED? HAHAHAHA! YOU SU................
John wakes up again... It's 2:00am. Everything is quiet. Desperately trying to forget the bad dreams and the strange day at the grocery store, he finally decides to drop the needle on the Best of Bread vinyl record. The music is soothing. He begins to drift into slumber once again.
John sleeps in and wakes up at 2:00pm on Sunday, he doesn't work on Sunday's either. John realizes he never got the groceries that he actually needed, so he makes his way to the grocery store once again. on another sunny day. He pulls into the parking lot, but this time they sky stays sunny and blue. The lawn mowing team truck is gone. John makes his way inside the grocery store. This time, a jolly old man greets him as he walks in. "How are you doing young man?" Says the old man. "Fine, thank you." John replies. Today, everybody was acknowledging John and making him feel welcome. Lots of smiles and hellos. There was even another Hispanic family who smiled at John while crossing paths. Even the children seemed happy. Hmm, too suspicious. It's almost like they're watching me and know what happened yesterday.
John grabbed all the items he needed and headed for checkout. He approached the counter and was greeted by the same cashier from last time. This time she actually speaks to John... "Hey honey, how are ya?" Says the cashier with a cute smile. "Great, how are you? John replies. "Oh honey, I had such a busy day yesterday! First I had to go see my doctor because of my back pain, then my car ran out of gas and I had to tell my hubby to help me out. Then he starts going off on me about how these lawn mowing guys woke him up at 5 in the mornin' and I told him, honey, they just doin' they job. Oh honey, today is much better, it's a beautiful day and my back feels better." Something about this doesn't seem right... She knows... She knows and she's playing around with me... Everybody is... No, I'm just being paranoid. Forget it, today is a great day!
John makes his way back to his mustang with a kart full of groceries... "HEY DOOD!!" suddenly screams the whiskey breathed man from behind. "Whoa man, you scared me!" Says John. "Oh I'm sorry man, didn't mean to startle ya.. Hey, I noticed you got a spare tire now. Good job buddy! Hey listen man, I'm feeling happy today a.. a.. and I just want to give you my hat!" John looks at the beige straw hat... "Are you sure?" John asks. "Yeah man, go on and take it, it's time I let go of somethings in life. I'm trying to start a new life man and stay away from theses drugs out here man. You go on an take it, it has good luck man!" John accepts and takes the hat. The man smiles. John smiles. "Hey I'll see ya later DOOD!"
It's 12:37am and John is staring at the beige straw hat that the whiskey breathed man gave him... John lugged out his vintage 1970's typewriter and was finally in the mood to write. He knew what he wanted to start with, but just right before he was about to type the letter L with his ring finger, the sound of a 4-stroke engine starts revving...
​
​
WERE LOOKING AT YOU. WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE. HOW YA DOING HONEY?

I'm talking from ignorance but can you keep that decorated cap? Are you given that cap from university/school? In my country, every cap has been in another people's heads, that's not yours and you must deliver it without any mark of dust or hair inside it, or else the teachers will kill you; for this reason, whenever I see this decorated caps, automatically, my mind says "how are you going to return back that cap? How would you get rid of the glue without making look it ruined?"

Occupation – Government employee
Age – 34
Location – Zimbabwe
My salary – $500 (paid monthly)
Side Gig Income – $0
Other income – negligible amounts from dividends received from my stock portfolio that I re-invest
Housemates – 4 (husband P, 6 year old L, 4 year old E and nanny F. My nephew M is around and makes appearances too)
​
Assets and Liabilities
​

Equity	$60,000 fully paid off
Retirement Balance	??	I contribute monthly, and employer matches fully. But because of changes in currency and hyperinflation, I don’t really count this as an asset
Savings	$1700	(went down due to travelling trying to get my passport done since it expired)
Current account balance	$660	Includes my mum's money since I'm managing her financial affairs while she's abroad
Loan from employer	$130	I took a personal loan from work, because the interest rates are lower than rate of inflation and repayment is over 18 months. Loan was used to make improvements on our house, and what wasn’t used, I bought shares on our stock exchange, due to hyperinflation, the amount I owe in US$ has gone down
Investments (shares in various counters on our local stock exchanges)	$1,186
Car	$4,000	Based on current resale value. Car was bought secondhand for cash

​
Income progression- (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/vbbb7s/i_live_in_zimbabwe_making_3600year_and_i_just/)
​
Expenses
This year, my husband and I decided that he would take on the bulk of our expenses since I do most of the domestic work/childcare. Expenses I pay will be indicated. My salary is now for my expenses, my investments and my savings, and spoiling the kids. Husband caters for the family basics. There was a point last year when I felt my husband wasn’t as invested in the family because he barely did anything financially. By having him cater for all expenses, he is now definitely involved and invested. My husband’s income is just about the same as mine, slightly higher at some times.
​
My Expenses

Expense	Amount /period	Note
Car insurance and licensing	$300/annum	This is due in March, and I pay for the entire year
Petrol	$60/month
Electricity	$10/month
Airtime/data	$20/month
Groceries	$60/month	This is for additional groceries such as bread, veg and fruit bought during the month
Kids’ clothes	$40/month	I’m trying to build up their winter wardrobe so I try to buy them something each month
Makeup/clothes/toiletries/ supplements/hair	$30/month	I do not us this much monthly though
Water	$15/month	Based on last bill received in April. We do not get water consistently so bills are infrequent
Donations	$20/month	Ad hoc donations to a soup kitchen, and maternal health fun
Stock market investment	$50/month	May invest more or less, but I do try to buy shares every payday

​
Household Expenses (paid by P)
​

Expense	Amount /period	Note
Groceries	$200/month	Bulk grocery shopping of staple food items and toiletries
LP Gas	$30/approx. every 2 months	We buy when it runs out. Usually every 2 months depending on how bad the power supply is
Medical	$15/month	For OTC meds (painkiller, cough syrup, antacid stocked for emergencies) and any prescriptions
Pet expenses	$60/ twice a year	For vaccinations and checkups for 4 dogs. Pet food is covered under groceries
School fees for the kids	$347/ term	One kid has fees paid every month, the other every 3 months
Nanny	$80/month	Less than before as both kids are now in school fulltime, and nanny is there to get them ready for school and care after school for 3 hours.
DSTV subscription	$37/month
Transport for kids to/from school	$60/month	L gets picked up and dropped off at home daily, E is dropped off after school

​
Previous MDs - (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/vbbb7s/i_live_in_zimbabwe_making_3600year_and_i_just/) and (https://www.reddit.com/MoneyDiariesACTIVE/comments/yc801g/i_am_33_years_old_and_i_just_graduated_with_my/)
​
MD Q&A
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes, I have a BSc in Accounting, a Masters in Accounting, and a Postgraduate Diploma in Taxation. My parents both have Masters degrees, and in my family, the bare minimum acceptable for education was getting a Bachelors. My mother paid for my undergraduate degree, and I paid cash for my postgraduate studies.
​
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
My parents divorced when I was very young. My dad is the wealthier of the two, my mum has always been middle-class. My mum brought me up with very little financial help from my dad, he only covered tuition and healthcare until I turned 18. My mum catered for everything else. My mum taught me how to look for bargains, how to save and invest, and also how to sometimes enjoy your money.
​
If you have, when did you move out of your parents'/guardians' house?
I would say I moved out at 26 when I got my current job. I had moved out when I got my first fulltime job, but moved back home when that contract ended
​
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
At 26 again. That's when I earned enough to cover all my bills without needing help. My husband P covers some aspects of my financial life, and my mum occasionally helps out with stuff for her grandchildren.
​
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I worked as a receptionist at my mum's law firm after finishing my A Levels (age 18) while waiting to start university. My mum gave me the job to keep me occupied and out of mischief, lol.
​
Do you worry about money now?
I worry about building generational wealth for my children. I want to make sure they will be set for life as adults. I do worry about money because hyperinflation is eroding my earnings and retirement dramatically. This is my second time losing my retirement. My mum and in laws are losing their retirement for the third time, so honestly our old age looks bleak if we do not invest outside of work pensions.
​
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I receive negligible dividends from the shares I own, lol.
​
Day 1
0430 – I’m woken up by loadshedding. I sigh, rollover, and sleep some more
0600 – Alarm goes off. I turn it off, enjoy cuddles from P and finally get out of bed. Our water tanks ran out 4 days ago, and council has not yet deigned to give us water, so we rely on P’s parents and friends to give us water. I get my water that was warming up on the stove, and take a quick bucket bath. I moisturize, do my brows, throw my lace wig on (I cut my hair in January, and I’m at a really awkward stage where my hair looks bad when I wear it out all day) and get dressed. It’s cold in the mornings so I put on winter stockings and a black and white chevron patterned dress, nude ballet pumps plus my warm jacket. I get E from the couch where he was watching Cocomelon and my lunch bag out of the kitchen and we head off to his school. After dropping off E, I go to the office. No electricity means no elevator, so I go up the stairs. I see my boss’s boss and greet him as we do the ZESA (local electricity company) sponsored workout. I log in to the work register, fill up my kettle, and settle down to check out my work email. Nothing urgent came through overnight, so I go into my personal email. The wig company I patronize has given me a code for my birthday, and I’m wondering if I should pull the trigger on my cart. I decide to do a report while thinking this through.
My mum is currently working out of the country, so I am managing her local finances/obligations while she’s away. I remember I have to buy the prepaid electricity token for my childhood home as well as for the house she lives in when she’s working in the country. I spend $23 on electricity for both houses (mum’s money so doesn’t count)
1030 – After doing some firefighting and office gossip I have my breakfast. Today its rice, peas and 2 fried eggs. I sprinkle some peri-peri Aromat on top since I don’t have a sauce/gravy ad I have been craving spicy food lately. I also pop my multivitamin and supplements. I check my team’s work and send back anything that needs correcting. I also generate the multiple reports my boss expects from me. I suddenly remember I need to claim my allowance for performing a role that is higher than my actual position at work. I quickly complete the form, and send it to my boss for his signature. The extra money from this is what I use to fund my stock market investments. I also remind my team to send a report to me for consolidation by noon.
12.00 – I do a major push of all my work due today so I can relax after lunch. I compile my reports and set them ready to send. I also finish my first 2 litres of water of the day, and cue up the next 2 litres
1300 – Its lunchtime, and my work bestie and I head out around town**. I find shorts that L would fit and buy 2 pairs for $10**. We head back to the office and I have caramel popcorn for lunch. Then I remember I forgot to have my afternoon meds, oops. Anyway, more work before heading to an audit meeting
1630 – The audit meeting is finally over, and I rush to shut down my computer, pack up my things and go home. I have an agreement with my manager that as long as I make up for the hour, by either coming early or skipping lunch, I can leave work at 4pm. I had a total hysterectomy end of last year so I still can’t manage driving in heavy traffic. I arrive home, make the bed (P had not made it when he went to work), and harvest chilies from our garden that have ripened. I also harvest a local herb used as a flu remedy and lemongrass, so I can brew up a tea/tisane for the flu affected people in my house. I also pack L’s lunch for tomorrow, a pie, a naartjie and juice. It’s also F’s payday, so I give her US$80 (P gave me this money).
E says he is hungry so I feed him sadza and sour milk by his request. I multitask covering L’s school textbook while supervising his homework and watching Married to Real Estate and the Great British Bake Off. I then have my dinner of sadza, greens and beef. I have a chat with the kids about their day at school. P gets home.
1900 – P and my nephew M go to fetch water from P’s friend’s house. The city council still hasn’t opened up our water supply. I do some French on Duolingo while the boys wreak havoc in their playroom. I read L and E their bedtime stories and put them to bed. I decide to do my hair in cornrows while watching Masterchef Australia. They get home and I help them carry water indoors. I remember that when power comes back I need to boil tripe on the stove, so I cut it up, put it in the pot with water, salt and garlic, and place it on the electric stove. We have serious loadshedding these days, so we have a gas stove and solar power to tide us over. I take a quick bath and change into my pyjamas. While P watches TV, I read Wild Sweet Love by Beverly Jenkins and continue to do my hair in cornrows.
2200 – My arms are tired and I’m only halfway through with the cornrows. I give up and go to bed with P.
Total spent - $10
​
Day 2
0600 – I hear crying. E is in a bad mood today. I turn off my alarm, and go to see what’s wrong. E does not want to get dressed for school. I sigh, and help F dress him while he throws a massive tantrum. E is dressed, so I go do my morning routine of shower, moisturize, contact lenses, and eyebrow makeup. Today, I wear a green dress I took from my mum, black tights, nude ballet flats and a black and white coat. E gets put into the car by F, and starts crying for porridge. We are already late, so he learns that the consequence of refusing to eat his porridge on time is to go to school without having his porridge. It’s not a big issue though, as he gets fed at school. So I lock the doors and windows and drive him to school as he throws a tantrum for the entire 10 minute drive. I shove him into the school gate and head to work.
It’s another ZESA sponsored stair workout today. I log into the register, and fill up my kettle with water. I switch on my computer, check my work email and send off client emails to my team for their response. My personal email has an annual report from one of the companies I have shares in so I check out if there’s a dividend this year. I own a negligible number of shares in the company though, but 28c per share is quite impressive. I check to see if my stock exchange wallet has been credited with the money I transferred there so I can buy more shares. It still hasn’t so I send a follow up email o the enquiries desk at the stock exchange. I do have a stockbroker, but I prefer doing my trades myself. I also do some French on Duolingo before 8am.
0830 – Our HR is in a tizzy because people are late for work. I don’t make a big deal out of it usually, because salaries are shit and people are demotivated. As long as my team shows up and does some work, I’m ok. I approve some work, and warn my team about coming in a bit too late. I also tell a teammate that she will have to cover for me on Monday as I am taking the day off. Our internet connectivity is shit so I can’t log into our system to check some stuff. My work bestie gives me avocados from her house. I almost cry because I have been craving avocados, but been too cheap to buy them.
1000 – I have a really bad sore throat. I am also hungry since I haven’t had breakfast yet. I jot down my shopping list for the weekend and head to Pick ‘n’ Pay to buy carrots, green peppers, tomatoes, lemons, cheese, polony and bread. I also buy my breakfast/lunch, which is rice, beans, ox liver and egg salad**. It all cost $10**. I leave my shopping in my car, and go to the office to wolf down my food, and take my multivitamin and painkiller. I also receive my wigs that I bought in May. Perfect timing, as I want to wear a new wig tomorrow for our girls’ day out.
I do some more work, and remind my team to send me the information I need for my daily reports.
1300 – I go out to buy a few items I didn’t find in Pick ‘n’ Pay earlier**. I go to Spar and buy peas, eggs, soft drinks for the outing tomorrow and a sausage roll. Total cost is $10**. The outing has been deemed kid friendly, so I needed drinks for the boys to have tomorrow. I get back into the office, and spend the rest of the lunch hour working.
1600 – It’s finally time to go home. I send my email to handover work issues for the person who will take over my role on Monday while I am on leave. I also send my out of office email, and head home. The kids are at their grandmother’s, so I take a leisurely bath, put on my pyjamas and eat dinner. Then I watch Masterchef Australia until P and E get home. I also get in some French Duolingo practice
2000 – P goes out with his friends, so I snuggle up on the couch with E and watch TV. I put E to bed, read him his bedtime story and kiss him good night. I finally finish season 13 of Masterchef Australia, and move on to My Kitchen Rules Australia. I love Australian reality shows, ngl.
2200 – I go to bed P gets home and tells me some bad news about a friend of ours. I feel very sad for him. He cuddles me and we sleep.
Total spent - $20
​
Day 3
0700 – I wake up feeling like a truck ran me over. I get out of bed, and get ready to hand-wash our laundry. We still have no running water so we can’t use the washing machine. I play music while doing my laundry to keep me motivated
0900 – Laundry has been hung out to dry. F has cooked potato curry, so I boil eggs and water. I have my breakfast of potato curry, egg, multivitamin and coffee. Once I’m done, I give E a bath and dress him. I also bath, moisturize, do my brows and get dressed. I’m wearing jeans and a t-shirt today as my friends and I ae supposed to take our kids out for a playdate. Then I receive a message that the outing is cancelled since one of our group is really sick. I try to think of something I can do with E, since L is out having fun with his grandmother. I do my Swahili Duolingo practice.
1100 – The welder comes to do some work on our garage door. I monitor the work for a bit, and then my nephew takes over. E starts really bugging me to go out. So I put on my headband wig and sneakers, and pack a cooler bag with snacks and drinks. We head into town and I buy myself some ciders for $9. These are for me to drink when the mood strikes me. E wants to go to a resort by the lake so I oblige him. We pay $8 for our entrance. He goes to play on the swings, and I take pictures of him having fun. Another family turns up, and one of his classmates is among them. He’s so happy, and goes to play with his friend. I watch him running around.
1500 – I get a call from my friend that she’s in town with my cake. This cake was meant for the cancelled outing. I pack up our stuff, hustle E into the car and drive back into town. I let out some colourful swear words when I realise I forgot to get our change of $2. Anyway**, I meet up with my friend and get the cake, and pay her $30**. It’s so pretty. I call my MIL while still in town to find out what time she will be there so I can pick up L. She says it will be an hour, so E and I head home to drop off the cake so it doesn’t melt in my AC-less car.
1600 – We are back in town waiting for L and MIL. E wants an ice cream so I buy him one for $0.50 using money I had in my Innbucks wallet. MIL calls and asks me to head over to where she is to pick L up since she can’t leave yet. E and I get there. MIL gets me sadza and goat tripe stew, which I eat a bit of to be polite even though I am not hungry. When I’m done, I pack up the kids and drive home. I bath and change into my pyjamas.
1800 – I feed the kids, and we play until their weekend bedtime of 8pm. I read them their bedtime stories and tuck them in. I watch TV and iron my morning laundry while having a gin and juice until 9pm, and head to read in bed. P and my nephew arrive home from their amateur soccer league match and subsequent outing with the boys. I fall asleep soon after.
Total spent - $49.50
​
Day 4
0700 – I’m woken up by L demanding that I come and play with them. I am still sleepy so I fob him off.
0900 - F knocks on the door and tells us she is off to church. I finally get out of bed and get dressed. I see the boys playing relatively peacefully so I let them continue with their antics. In the kitchen, I find F had cooked breakfast, and since I’m starving, I heat up water for coffee. L surprisingly isn’t hungry so I serve up breakfast for P and me. I have my daily multivitamin. P heads out to go fetch water, while I bath, change and hang out with the kids. I also do my French Duolingo practice for the day
1200 – I have played with the dogs and kids, and I am exhausted. I collapse onto the couch and watch MKR Australia. P gets home, and naps on the couch. I give the kids haircuts and baths.
1700 – L is hungry and really wants cake, so I feed the kids a dinner of sadza and sour milk. Then some cake for dessert. I also pack L’s school lunch, which will be a polony sandwich, a cupcake and juice. The kids play until its bedtime at 7pm. The usual routine, bedtime stories and tuck in is done
2000 – P and I watch a movie while having some alcoholic drinks.
2200 – Bedtime for us
Total spent - $0
​
Day 5
0600 – It’s my birthday today. I am going all out celebrating myself since TW I tried unaliving myself twice in the past year. L wishes me a happy birthday before he goes to school. I get birthday messages from my mum, dad, SILs, and friends. I also get a call from my brother, his wife and their son, and they sing to me. I feel very loved today. P goes to drop off E at school today so I can sleep in
0800 – I am finally up and hungry. I cook a quick breakfast of boiled eggs, and a bean curry. P takes my car to get serviced, while I bath, moisturize, contact lenses, do a full face of makeup and get dressed for the day. Today I wear a tie-dyed cutout mini-dress and sneakers, and my wavy headband wig
1300 – P is home and he drives me to a hotel outside town near a renowned tourist site in our country. We have a platter of fried fish, chicken strips, pork strips, fries, and a salad to share and multiple Savannah Drys while there. It’s really nice getting to reconnect after a very tumultuous year in our marriage. P pays.
1700 – We drive around the area, before heading home. Once we get home, P and my nephew go on a hunt for water, while I feed the kids. P and I head off to take our showers. I remember why I don’t do a full face of makeup when it take a long time to get the makeup off my face.
1900 – The family sings happy birthday, and we eat cake. Birthday gifts were gin and chocolate. I hustle the boys off to bed. No story today, as they went to bed later than usual. P watches TV while I read my novel.
2100 – Bedtime for the grownups
Total spent - $0
​
Day 6
0530 – I wake up and lie in bed for a bit. Then I read my novel some more.
0620 – I am up, and take my bath, moisturize, do my brows and get dressed. It’s cold this morning, so I wear a yellow dress with black polka dots, black tights and ankle boots. I pack up the cake I’m giving to my colleagues, as well as my water bottle. E and I head out. I drop E off at school, and go to the office. I log into the work register, turn on my computer, and check my emails. There are a few pressing issues I need to get up to speed with. One of my colleagues gives me $50 as a birthday gift. I also hand out the cake to my team.
0900 – Work is pretty quiet today, so I update my MD. I also receive news that one of my nephews is getting married. He is not that much younger than me, and could be my younger brother, but it makes me feel so old.
Note on my family: In our culture, even distant relatives are given close relationships so the large number of nephews/nieces is from those relationships. It’s a big thing done to maintain close family bonds. I have 4 actual (in a Western sense) nephews and nieces who are all under the age of 6.
1000 – I head to the supermarket and buy bread, onions, carrots, pork chops, pork trotters and my breakfast and lunch. This costs $25. The meat is the main cost driver here. I have a sausage roll, my multivitamin, supplement and milk for breakfast. I remember that I need to check if my stock exchange wallet was credited, ugh. The website is refusing to load and I’m very frustrated. I finally log in and see the amount is still not credited. I email and send a tweet to the stock exchange. Hopefully the tweet will get them to start moving.
1200 – My boss is mad. One member of my team left his desk without informing me and there’s an urgent matter. I was about to go downstairs to give P the groceries, so I stick around for a bit before committing the same offence as my subordinate, lol. I quickly get back into my office and check on work, sign some papers and letters, and clear out my emails.
1300 – My work bestie has to run other errands at lunch so I decide to stay in the office. I check my personal email and see I have received a dividend of $0.27, lol. The share price will probably drop soon, so I will buy more shares in this counter if I can get them to increase my shareholding. My goal for this year is to breach the 10,000 share mark for one counter. I suddenly remember I have work to do, so I use my lunch hour to do the work, and then take a quick break to eat my lunch of fries and a sausage and do some Swahili Duolingo practice.
1500 – I am thinking of going home when one of my team members calls me to deal with an angry client. I go to the office, and find out it’s a surprise birthday party from my team. I am so happy, lol. We have more cake, and there’s also fruit and juice. I head home feeling so appreciated with even more cake.
1700 – P and my nephew go out to get water. I warm up my bath water, and give the kids their dinner. Today its rice and croc meat. I make L’s lunch for tomorrow, a toasted polony sandwich and juice. I also pack my lunch, rice, a fried egg and peas. And some cake for my work bestie’s kids. I take my bath; change into my pyjamas and hound E to eat his food. If we let that kid be, he would probably live on the bits of our souls he sucks out daily by being stubborn. I am feeling nauseous so I have plain rice with a bit of avocado. The kids watch cartoons, while I do some more Swahili on Duolingo.
1900 – Bedtime for the kids. Today, there’s no demand for a bedtime story, so I just tuck them in and tell them I love them. I read my novel as increasingly feel more nauseated. I end up going to hurl my guts out. P comes home and finds me lying limply on the bed. He gives me a cuddle, and goes to eat his dinner. I get up but smell fish, and run back to throw up. If I hadn’t had a hysterectomy, I would be doing a pregnancy test ASAP.
2100 – I go to bed, and lie in bed for a bit, before finally drifting off.
Total spent - $25
​
Day 7
0500 – I wake up feeling nauseated again. Ugh, this reminds me of having hyperemesis while pregnant. I put my water on to heat and get back in bed to read some more.
0600 – E comes to lie on our bed. I get out of bed, and go throw up. I get my bath water, take my bath, moisturize and put my contacts in. I look like a reanimated corpse this morning. I do my brows to try bring a bit of life to my face and get dressed. It’s very misty and cold today so I put on warm brown tights, a long black dress, my warm jacket and ballet flats. I grab my lunch and the cake, pop E into the car and head out. Visibility is extremely low, so I drive slowly. I don’t know why people like surprising other drivers by having their cars pop out of the mist without switching on their headlights. I successfully avoid the drivers who hate life and drop E off at school before heading to work.
0700 – I am in the office, and I log into the register, before turning on my computer and checking my work email. Not too much in there, so I check my personal email. My stock exchange wallet has finally been credited with the $100. I also ponder whether I should pull the trigger on a V-part wig.
I do my weekly report, and start doing some boring work in the system. I realise I didn’t save the work I did yesterday, so I have to re-do it, so I can have the list of error messages to send to ICT.
0830 – Everyone is in the office, so I do some reshuffling of duties, so that essential areas are covered while one of my colleagues is on leave. I give the cake to work bestie, who tells me how much her daughter was excited over the cake yesterday. It’s now time for me to put my head down and really focus on knocking out the system work today. I also log into an online training, and I listen while doing my work. My mum also deposits money for my birthday gift and to spoil her grandkids.
1000 – I log into my stock exchange account and buy shares for $99.14 (doesn’t count as spending, as the money was moved before the MD started). The deadline for other departments to submit their weekly reports to me for consolidation has passed so I start following up. One department is a big problem as they always send their report late. Le sigh. I draft a very passive aggressive email to them. I also decide not to buy the wig and instead ask the person making me my custom earrings that I got myself for my birthday to bill me the rest of the money so I can pay and move the remainder of the money in my account into savings. Our currency has taken an enormous hit in the last week, and is free falling dramatically. I’d rather keep USD cash than money in my account at this point. The training finally ends.
1100 – I’m getting hungry so I go warm up my lunch, sprinkle on peri peri Aromat and dig in. Yum. I also have my multivitamin and supplement. A lady who sells local snacks comes in. She persuades me to buy maputi (corn nuts mixed with roasted peanuts) for $0.50. I buy them for my afternoon snack. I end up sending the report with missing statistics, and tell the department to send directly to the compiler, as they were late. That was a very aggressive email tbh. I’m still hungry, so I munch on my maputi, leaving the peanuts because I don’t feel like eating them lately.
1200 – I see a missed call from a number I don’t know. I call and it turns out they had sent money to my mobile wallet mistakenly. I check the mobile wallet and it shows it had an extra $11. I send the money back to the person. Times are too tough to keep people’s money
1400 – I snack on a few skittles instead of having more food. I just want something to entertain my mouth, I’m not hungry at all. I review more work and drink more water. The jeweler has sent the payment request for the earrings. I pay $100 (total spent on the earrings comes to $200, which is worth it for sterling silver custom made Jewellery. I use $50 of the birthday money from my mum to cover for part of this expense)
1600 – Finally time to go home. I shut down my computer, and drive home. Once I’m home, I put on my bath water, and help L do his homework. Then I do some Swahili Duolingo practice and pack L’s lunch for tomorrow. He requested maize (corn on the cob), a boiled egg and a naartjie. His wish is my command for once. I also pack my lunch, a boiled egg, peanut butter sandwich and a bit of birthday cake. The jeweler sends pictures of the final product. They are absolutely gorgeous. Happy 34th birthday to me!!!
1800 – I serve the kids their dinner, and go to take my bath. P sends a text that he will be home late as they are working late today. I have my own dinner while persuading E to eat his food
1900 – Bedtime for the kids. I read them their bedtime stories, tuck them in and tell them I love them. Then I go to watch TV. I’m catching up on Married to Real Estate, Food Factory and Man Vs Food. You can tell that reality TV is my jam.
2100 – I decide to have some decaf black coffee and cake as my bedtime snack. P and my nephew arrive home. They are later than they thought they would be because nephew dropped his phone in the middle of the highway and they were searching for it. Because nephew’s ancestors were on the job, they found it intact. It’s a big deal because this is a major highway and huge trucks use that road constantly. I chat with P as he has his dinner and takes his bath.
2200 – Cuddles and bedtime for us
​
Total spent today – $100
​
Total spent this week – $204.50
​
Spending by categories
Food & Drink – $84.50
Home & Health – $0
Clothing & Beauty – $110
Transportation – $0
Fun & Entertainment – $10
​
Reflections on this week’s spending
The spending is pretty much about normal for me tbh (excluding the cake and earrings). I had quite a bit of petrol in the tank so I didn’t need to top up my tank this week. The converted US$ prices are a bit inaccurate since our currency had a big drop this week, and most of my spending is in local currency. I could reign in my spending a bit, and focus more on investing. However, I do enjoy using my money to bring joy to my kids and myself. Particularly myself after the absolutely shitty year I had.

Hello!
I have been using credit cards for the past 15 years or so. Until recently that I read about how to maximize card cashback and points, I only used two: Citibank Cashback (CL 600K) and BPI Blue (CL 450K). I had not been paying AFs since heavy spender and pay balance lagi every month. However, for the past 2 years ayaw na mag waive ni Citibank ng AF, mahal pa naman at 4500. Hindi ko pa ginamit ang "I will cancel my card" spiel though.
I am analyzing my spend pattern though. Ang plan ko is magkaroon ng 3-4 cards to maximize.

1. Card for Grocery - I spend 24k/month for grocery purchases. If hindi pa ulit mag waive si Citibank this year, i-cut ko na and upgrade my BPI Blue to BPI Amore. I heard waivable ang AF ni Amore, anybody knows the yearly spend to waive AF?
2. Card for Dining - I recently applied for HSBC Gold Visa, na approve naman. Will plan to use this solely for dining (I spend siguro around 8-12K monthly for dining including Grabfood). I heard waivable din ang AF for 100k annual spend, if true, pasok na ako dito.
3. Card for Other Purchases - I am currently applying for Chinabank Cash Rewards card, which gives 6% for other purchases (as long as non-grocery, non-gas, non-drugstore I think). Minimum of 1k transaction to qualify, and rebate cap is 1k only per month. I spend around 10-15k monthly for these purchases (e.g. shopping, etc). Ang catch lang dito is may AF na 300 monthly. Di ko pa sure if this is waiveable (may naka try na ba?). Also, may nakaka-alam kaya kung yung grab cash-in will earn the 6% rebate too?

Now, I have seasonal purchases. I pay around 100k annually on different insurance policies, and around 250K-300K annually for travel spends (airfare, hotel, entrance tickets, kain, etc.)
Would you advise for me to get a 4th card for the seasonal purchases? If yes, I am thinking either:

1. BPI Visa Signature - I am a preferred client so I am qualified for 3 years free AF, and yung CL ko sa BPI is qualified na to upgrade yung Blue ko to this. However ayoko magbayad ng AF after that, ang mahal pa naman and hindi ko maaabot yung 1.2M annual spend. Any preferred client who had their AF waived after 3 yrs?
2. EW Mastercard Plat - free AF for life so hindi ko na to iintindihin, though iniisip ko pa kung worth applying nga. Mababa kase ang foreign transaction fee ni EW. Kaso medyo mataas palitan sa 40 pesos = 1 point. I dont care much about the travel perks (e.g. lounges etc) mas concern ko yung cash back / cash credits.
3. BDO Amex Cashback - ok sana na unli yung cash back kaso not widely accepted ang Amex and I heard a lot of struggles using this online, etc. Ang gusto ko lang dito is 2% ang cashback sa grab cash-in at FB ads, pero di rin naman ganon kalaki ang spend ko sa dalawang yan, mga less than 5K/month lang din. Atsaka 2% cb din sa foreign spend, yun eh kung tatanggapin yung card hehehe.

OR - keep my 3 cards na lang and i spread ko na lang yung ibang seasonal purchases ko dyan, to get higher chances to waive AF? Need to retain lang talaga yung BPI ko kase yun lang ang maayos ang Foreign Transaction Fee, to be able to use for travel.
Any comments or suggestions? Will read all your feedback, thank you so much!

Back in 2020 I decided to do charity work that required me to move to a remote part of the world. I had minimal access to internet and although I worked, I was technically a volunteer and unemployed.
I am now back and traversing the job market. I have a Master's degree and a good amount of experience. To be honest, my background is in education, so I was never expecting to make six figures. However, I cannot believe how difficult it is to find a job, let alone a job that pays over $20 an hour?? Seriously?? I have applied to more than 30 jobs in the last three weeks and all but like 6-7 of them are making under $20 dollars an hour. I haven't heard from even one of them.
There are many remote jobs now, and while I am all for it, they are impossible to get, since most of them are de-localized (open to professionals throughout the US) and hence, highly competitive. Once again, highly competitive for making less than $20 an hour. Food prices have skyrocketed, Gas is through the roof, rent is insane, but yes, let's all fight for a job requiring degrees making $16 an hour... insanity.
Even tutoring jobs are out of my league. The ones that pay *Decent*, not great, but decent, are often requiring a degree from an "elite" university, usually top 20 in the country... just to tutor some damn kids. I have all kinds of experience working with secondary and post-secondary students as well as degrees and a teaching certification, but it's not enough. I pride myself on being a great educator, but fuck it, I didn't go to Harvard so nothing I can do about it.
Ultimately I just want to express empathy from what I'm reading on this sub. The job market is insanity and shit, if there is a revolution, I'll join it. Fuck this nonsense.

Most of my builds are theme builds that match a captain to a ship matching their species. Today's entry is a Lethean captain who utilizes their dangerous psychic abilities to cripple enemy ships while they fight. Most of the decisions I made on this build were based on representing that in the game, and are, in many cases, very, very not meta. This build will not win any DPS races, so if that is what you are looking for, do yourself a favor and find a different build. Like usual for me, I don't typically inflict my theme builds on other parties or elite content, so they are rarely parsed, but I don't post them until I am largely satisfied with how well they get through content. This one is no exception to that rule, though that doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement, there usually is, even within my theme.
The idea of making a psychic combat ship is taken from the fact that that is how they fight on the ground in the show, at least the one episode I recall them from. I felt that they would want to capitalize on their own strengths in space as well, and this build is designed to represent that. While their psychic abilities on the ground are lethal, this build is focused on placate and confuse mechanics for the most part, since there aren't many actually called out psychic powers for ship combat.
The idea is to hit them with a placate, then give them another target to go after, and then confuse them, so they end up targeting other things, letting you attack with impunity.
The placates the ship uses are Strike From the Shadows, Slippery Target, Failsafe Scrambler, An Explosive Expert doff. Other placate sources were considered, but discarded due to lack of adequate triggers, or wanting to use the slots they would take for other things. The primary method of confusion is Attack Pattern Lambda III, which along with things like eject warp plasma can also mess with their perception, for what little that is worth.
Since I am relying on an attack pattern to deliver confusion, and can deliver placates the same way via Strike From the Shadows, I want my weapons to hit as many targets as possible as fast as possible, so I rely on beams which strike instantly and FAW, Torpedo Spread, and Entwined Tactical Matrices to deliver those effects.
Now, placate and confuse effects also enable a few other things, Abundance of Caution giving me sizable DRR against confused enemies, Strike from the shadows crit bonuses, and Concealed Repairs healing effects.
There are also a number of build elements that encourage me to get close and stay close, for example the debilitating effects of the Bajoran Defense set (which I an counting as debilitating psychic effects in my own mental fantasy of the character. Pretty much any debuff to the enemy on this build can be added to that list as well), Slippery Target's additional sizable DRR bonus, and Painful memories.
Painful memories is one of the few ship based things the game actually calls out as being psychic (via it's flavor text: "Cause a psionic energy resonance with the EPS of enemy ships"), so I felt somewhat compelled to include it, even though it isn't very efficient. It's inclusion on the build compelled me to include the only 2 engineering abilities that are both foe-affecting, and AOE: Eject Warp Plasma and Unstable Warp Field... and ironically they both have a shared 15 second cooldown, so you won't see me using them at the same time... but I largely don't need to.
I paired Eject Warp Plasma up with Coolant Ignition, which does not share a cooldown with each other, but do behave similarly in their deployment. I typically use them with the active rep trait Tethered Non-Baryonic Asteroid, which lets me pull groups of ships behind me in the clouds as they deploy. My ship's turn rate is high enough that I can even be broadsiding them with my beam arrays as I do this.
I paired Unstable Warp Bubble up with Deploy Countermeasures, together handling any small battlefield objects out there, and helping keep me pretty safe. The deploy countermeasures has the additional affect of providing more targets fro enemies to hit other than me when I confuse them.
Speaking of those additional targets, photonic fleet and aceton assimilator both also serve this purpose. However of the three, ideally enemies target the assimilator. Any drain effect it might have is really incidental. It's really there for my confuse effects to get as many enemies hitting it with energy weapons as possible. I have wracked up a surprising amount of damage doing that, even in solo play.

Captain Details

Captain Name	Usgan
Captain Career	Science
Captain Faction	Klingon
Captain Race	Lethean

Space Skill Tree

Rank	Engineering		Science		Tactical
Lieutenant	Improved Hull Restoration	Improved Hull Capacity	Shield Restoration	Improved Shield Capacity	Advanced Energy Weapon Training	Advanced Projectile Weapon Training
Lt. Commander	Improved Electro-Plasma System Flow	Advanced Impulse Expertise	Improved Control Expertise	Improved Drain Expertise	Advanced Targeting Expertise
	Full Impulse Energy Shunt		Control Amplification	Drain Infection
Commander					Advanced Weapon Amplification	Advanced Weapon Specialization
Captain			Advanced Exotic Particle Generator	Advanced Long Range Targeting Sensors	Advanced Hull Penetration
Admiral					Coordination Protocols
					Defensive Coordination
					Offensive Coordination
0 Points Left	10		15		21

Space Skill Unlocks

Purchases	Engineering	Science	Tactical
2	Hazard Emitters III	Science Team III	Tachyon Beam III
5	Battery Expertise	Sector Space Travel Speed	Threat Control
7	Feedback Pulse III	Photonic Shockwave III	Jam Sensors III
10	Maximum Hull Capacity	Maximum Shield Capacity	Projectile Critical Chance
12		Gravity Well III	Tractor Beam III
15		Control Resistance	Energy Critical Chance
17			Viral Matrix III
20			Accuracy

Ship Loadout: Lethean Nemosin Pilot Escort

Slot	Item
Fore Weapon 1	Nausicaan Energy Torpedo Launcher
Fore Weapon 2	Nausicaan Disruptor Beam Array
Fore Weapon 3	Terran Task Force Disruptor Beam Array
Fore Weapon 4	Experimental Romulan Disruptor Beam Array
Fore Weapon 5	Disruptor Wide Angle Dual Heavy Beam Bank
Aft Weapon 1	House Martok Omni-Directional Disruptor Beam Array
Aft Weapon 2	Omni-Directional Disruptor Beam Array
Experimental Weapon	Ravager Shriek Mk XV [CrtX]
Deflector	[Bajor Defense Deflector Array ] Mk XV [CtrlX][EPG]x2
Impulse Engines	[Bajor Defense Hyper-Impulse Engines ] Mk XV [Turn]x3
Warp Core	[Bajor Defense Hyper Injection Warp Core Mk XV]
Shields	[Bajor Defense Covariant Shield Array ] Mk XV [Cap]x3
Devices	Red Matter Capacitor
	Kobyashi Maru
	Deuterium Surplus
2 Engineering Consoles	Console - Universal - Aceton Assimilator
	Console - Engineering - House Martok Defensive Configuration Mk XV
4 Science Consoles	Console - Science - Nausicaan Siphon Capacitor Mk XV
	Console - Science - Exotic Particle Focuser Mk XV
	Console - Science - Exotic Particle Focuser Mk XV
	Console - Science - Exotic Particle Focuser Mk XV
5 Tactical Consoles	Console - Tactical - Vulnerability Locator Mk XV
	Console - Tactical - Vulnerability Locator Mk XV
	Console - Tactical - Vulnerability Locator Mk XV
	Console - Tactical - Vulnerability Locator Mk XV
	Console - Tactical - Vulnerability Locator Mk XV
T6-X Universal Console	Console - Tactical - Lorca's Custom Fire Controls

Officer Details

Bridge Officers	Power
Commander Tactical-Pilot	Kemocite-Laced Weaponry I
Engineered Soldier (Space)	Deploy Countermeasures II
	Attack Pattern Lambda III
	Coolant Ignition III
Lt. Commander Universal	Emergency Power to Weapons I
Engineered Soldier (Space)	Emit Unstable Warp Bubble I
	Eject Warp Plasma I
Lt. Commander Science	Very Cold in Space I
Engineered Soldier (Space)	Photonic Officer I
	Destabilizing Resonance Beam II
Lieutenant Universal	Beam Array: Fire at Will I
	Torpedo: Spread II
Ensign Engineering	Emergency Power to Shields I

Traits & Duty Officers

Trait	Name	Description
Personal Traits	Advanced Rapid Support	Your Career-specific Fleet ability has a reduced Recharge Time. This applies to Engineering Fleet, Tactical Fleet, and Science Fleet.
	Failsafe Scrambler	When your hull drops below 20%, automatically Placate all foes within 10km for 5 seconds and reset Threat vs. all nearby NPCs (max once per 90 seconds)
	Psychological Warfare	+20% Bonus Control Ability Effectiveness
	Fragment of AI Tech	Improves Control Expertise. Improves Energy Weapon Damage based on Control Expertise (maximum 30% at 300 Control Expertise)Many of Control's ships were left behind after the battle, positively riddled with technology gained from its portion of the Sphere data. Despite Starfleet's best efforts, it proved impossible to keep all of these advances under wraps. :+__% Energy Weapon Damage based on Control Expertise (Max +30% at 300 Control Expertise) : +50 [[Skill: Control Expertise
	Particle Manipulator	Improved Criticals for Exotic Damage, based on Particle Generators
	Inspirational Leader
	Abundance of Caution	Space Trait. You are just paranoid enough to protect yourself from surprise engagements, whether they be from confused allies unable to tell friend from foe, or from sudden ambushes of decloaking or suprise enemies that initiate combat while already in close proximity.
	The Boimler Effect	Space Trait. Provides a chance for using Bridge Officer Abilities to recharge all other Bridge Officer Ability recharge times up to their respective Shared Cooldown Categories.
	Intelligence Agent Attaché	Weapon Critical Strikes partially recharge Captain AbilityWeapon Critical Strikes restore a small amount of Captain Ability recharge time. Cannot reduce an ability below its minimum recharge time. Maximum one reduction per 1.33 seconds.Having an observer from intelligence can be taxing, but the advantage in access to information has tempted many Captains into such an arrangement :On Weapon Critical Strike, restore 2% of Captain Ability Recharge
	Photonic Capacitor	Space Trait. This trait causes the activation of your Science abilities to reduce your remaining cooldown on Photonic Fleet by 20 seconds. This effect may only be triggered a maximum of once every 10 seconds, and will only trigger if Photonic Fleet is currently in cooldown.
Starship Traits	Emergency Weapon Cycle	- While this starship trait is active, using Emergency Power to Weapons will also reduce weapon power cost and increase your weapon fire rate moderately.
	Entwined Tactical Matrices	- While this trait is slotted, activating Beams: Fire at Will or Cannons: Scatter Volley causes your next torpedo attack to be a Torpedo Spread. Activating Torpedo Spread causes you to gain Beams: Fire at Will and Cannons: Scatter Volley for a short duration.
	Strike from Shadows	- While this trait is slotted, attacking a foe that does not have you targeted will placate them for a short duration, and you will gain a significant boost to Weapon Damage and Critical Hit Chance, in addition to a decrease to your outgoing threat generation. Additional attacks on any foe who does not have you targeted will refresh the duration of these buffs. You cannot placate the same enemy more than once per 60 seconds this way.
	Slippery Target	- Pilot abilities and Auxiliary to Dampeners grant damage resistance and placate foes within 3km.
	Painful Memories
	Concealed Repairs	When you Cloak or Placate an enemy, Heal and recharge Bridge Officer abilities.
Space Reputation Traits	Precision	Increases your Critical Hit Chance in space combat.
	Advanced Targeting Systems	Slightly increases critical severity in space combat.
	Energy Refrequencer	Heals Hull when Dealing Damage
	Enhanced Rending Shots	Weapon Non-Crits increase Crit Chance
	Enhanced Armor Penetration	Ship weapons have increased Armor Penetration
Duty Officers	Conn Officer	[SP] Recharges Evasive Maneuvers when Emergency Power to Engines is activated.
	Matter-Antimatter Specialist	[SP] Chance to immobilize enemies when activating Eject Warp Plasma
	Space Warfare Specialist	[SP]'''Weapons Expert''': chance on using an energy Weapon Firing Mode I or II to trigger the II or III version instead
	Explosives Expert	[SP] Torpedo Taunt/Placate (based on Threatening Stance)
	Sensors Officer	[SP] Debuff target's offensive damage with Sensor Scan
	Entertainer	[SP] Chance to inhibit target's [[Perception]] on use of beams and cannons

Hey all,
I have a small Craftsman push mower that I recently bought off FB Marketplace. It is in great condition, but it did not come with a bag or a small frame for the bag. The mower model is 917.374200 for reference. I found a couple of sites like SearsDirect and they have the bag but it's a bit pricey, and I have had zero luck sourcing the frame. Does anyone have a go-to site where I could maybe find these parts, or if they are universal to some extent? That way I could just buy a more common one. I have no problem mowing my lawn without a bag to give the grass nutrients, but the house I recently moved into has a lawn that is relatively brown and dried out, so I want to water it and get it green again before I start mowing without a bag. Any tips or leads are appreciated.
(From the owner's manual I found online)
Bag Part Number: 582269001
Frame Part Number: 446774
Thank you in advance!

I recently read a piece of news about young people in South Korea pouring into temples to escape from reality. This article is written in Chinese, I have never traveled to South Korea and can't verify the authenticity, so I post it here to ask for help. Is it real or is the media in China speaking ill of your country to transfer domestic contradictions? The following is the full article:
【韩国，“寒意”正在蔓延】
South Korea: "Chilling Atmosphere" Spreading
今年夏天，韩国大量年轻人涌入寺庙，全国150家庙宇人满为患。他们不为避暑，只为逃避红尘，在挂着门牌的禅房放下行李后，便日夜放空。山高月小，盛夏也有入骨之寒。This summer, a large number of young people have flocked to temples in South Korea, causing overcrowding in 150 temples nationwide. They are not seeking relief from the heat, but rather escaping from the secular world. After placing their luggage in the rooms marked with door signs, they spend their days and nights in idleness. Even in the height of summer, there is a bone-chilling coldness.
山寺外，寒意正在蔓延。韩国白领正流行自带便当，因午饭已涨到吃不起，“感觉一半工资都花饭钱上了”。
便利店的三明治和三角紫菜包，中午一抢而空，办公室泡面成片。社交平台上，韩国人称之为午餐通胀。饭后咖啡也成负担，高档咖啡厅门可罗雀，更多人选择回公司喝速溶咖啡。
Outside the mountain temples, a chilling atmosphere is spreading. White-collar workers in South Korea are now bringing their own lunch boxes to work because the cost of eating out has become unaffordable. They feel like half of their salary goes toward meal expenses.
Sandwiches and triangular seaweed rice balls in convenience stores are sold out by noon, and instant noodles have become a staple in offices. On social media, Koreans refer to it as "lunch inflation." Even post-meal coffee has become a burden, as high-end coffee shops are almost empty, and more people choose to drink instant coffee at the office.
曾经普通的排骨汤变成“别人请客才会吃”，国民餐饮烤五花肉则是奢侈享受。最后，连烤肉时免费供应的生菜，都开始收费。客人在不断变少，但涨价却无法停歇，一切都同在冲出轨道的列车上。
今年5月，韩国五花肉涨价11.4%，炸酱面涨价12.5%，韩国统计厅数据，韩国餐饮涨价速度，创1992年5月以来最高纪录。
What used to be an ordinary dish like pork bone soup has now become something they only eat when someone else treats them. Grilled pork belly, a popular Korean dish, has become a luxury. Even the lettuce that was once provided for free during barbecue meals now comes with a fee. Despite the decreasing number of customers, prices continue to rise, and everything seems to be on a train veering off track.
In May this year, pork belly prices in South Korea increased by 11.4%, while black bean noodles increased by 12.5%. According to data from the Korean Statistical Office, the rate of price increases in the food and beverage industry is at its highest level since May 1992.
涨价的何止餐饮，韩国水电煤气去年10月已涨23.1%，今年5月，电费燃气费再涨，电风扇成最畅销电器，原因是省电。
外卖吃不起后，韩国冷冻蔬菜和酱料包热销，预制菜销量翻了4倍，大学生则流行从一日三餐改为一天两餐。
梨花女子大学学生称，“现在周末只能整天坐在咖啡馆里，什么也干不了，什么也花不起”。
It's not just food and beverages that are seeing price hikes; electricity, water, and gas prices in South Korea increased by 23.1% in October of last year, and in May of this year, electricity and gas fees rose again. Electric fans are now the best-selling appliances due to their energy efficiency.
Unable to afford takeout, frozen vegetables and pre-packaged sauces have become popular, and the sales of pre-packaged meals have quadrupled. College students are also changing their eating habits from three meals a day to two meals a day.
A student from Sookmyung Women's University said, "Nowadays, I can only spend my weekends sitting in cafes all day, unable to do anything and unable to afford anything."
网上，韩国年轻人发起“不花钱挑战”，抠门短视频流行，省钱VLOG随处可见。年轻一代购物追求“神性比”，就是神一样的性价比。曾热衷大牌的年轻人，现在开始称重购买二手衣服，按照公斤打折。
首尔华阳洞的复古服装卖场上，年轻人在旧衣堆中翻捡。灰尘缓缓落下，生活正重回地面。
萧条呜咽刺耳，蜃楼蒸发消散。韩国出口已连续6个月出现负增长，而房价已连续9个月下跌。
在首尔，部分高端楼盘跌幅超40%，首尔永远涨的神话已成往事，仅余用60%收入咬牙还贷的人们。低迷的经济，催生失业浪潮。韩国大厂裁员，美其名曰自愿退休，此后又衍生出“安静解雇”，即要求雇员无声息离开。
Online, young Koreans have started a "money-saving challenge," and videos of frugal living have become popular. The younger generation now pursues the "divinity of value," looking for god-like cost-effectiveness. Previously fond of luxury brands, young people now buy second-hand clothes by weight for discounted prices.
In vintage clothing stores in Seoul's Hwayang-dong, young people sift through piles of old clothes. Dust settles slowly as life returns to the ground.
The sound of desolation and sobbing fills the air as mirages evaporate. South Korea's exports have experienced six consecutive months of negative growth, while housing prices have been falling for nine consecutive months.
In Seoul, some high-end real estate prices have dropped by over 40%, and the myth of Seoul's ever-rising property prices is now a thing of the past. Only those who bite the bullet and use 60% of their income to pay off mortgages remain. The sluggish economy has led to a wave of unemployment. Major companies in South Korea are downsizing, using the guise of voluntary retirement and subsequently implementing "quiet layoffs," which require employees to silently leave their positions.
韩国大学毕业生迎来难熬之夏，而韩国外卖员已达43万人，创下历史新高。今年4月，韩国20岁至39岁人群中，有66万人登记为休息人口。休息人口即指不工作，不考试，不求职，不生育。
荒芜正向未来蔓延，大萧条紧连着老龄化。首尔婚宴厅正批量消失，殡仪馆却人满为患，老年保健品销量超过奶粉，韩国港口货轮已难招适龄船员。
14所地方大学已无人报名。韩朝前线，韩国已考虑用AI哨兵，弥补年轻兵力持续减少。
寒意之中，大批年轻人返回故土，与父母同居，被称为“袋鼠族”，日常爱好之一是看“发呆直播”。发呆直播风行韩国。在盛夏中蜷缩的人们，打开免费直播间，看着NASA转播的地球发呆。
画面几乎没有变化，但所有人都知道，变化正在发生。
韩国曾有漫长的黄金年代，他们骄傲称之为“汉江奇迹”。因全力发展经济，1962年到1994年，韩国以GPD 年均9%的增速，狂飙了32年。1994年，韩国人均年收入超1万美元。
那年，韩国被吸纳入经合组织，加入“发达国家俱乐部”。韩国报纸欢呼雀跃，称韩国已从亚洲之龙升级为世界之龙。
那些年，随着黄金年代狂飙的韩国人，从不知萧条为何物。他们笃信高考公平，认定奋斗致富，坚信知识能改变命运。
汉城奥运会之后，85%韩国国民自认为是中产阶级，他们接受BBC纪录片采访时说：在20世纪末，每个韩国人都能过上和英国中产阶级一样的生活。
富裕之后，韩国人流行金饰，热衷海外旅行，并因随地打牌，插队喧哗等恶习，被韩国媒体批评为“丑陋的韩国人”。
所有欢歌在1998年戛然而止，金融海啸重创韩国，国家一度到破产边缘。海啸过后，一代人财富灰飞烟灭，更严重后果是韩国走向沙漏型社会。中产缩水，阶层固化，贫富差距越来越大。
此后，受惠全球化和互联网浪潮，韩国保持缓速前行。然而，寒意酝酿在沙漏之中。

Race Information

• Name: Boston Marathon
• Distance: 26.2 miles
• Time: 2:40:XX

Goals

Goal	Description	Completed?
A	Under 2:42 (PR)	Yes
B	Under 2:45	Yes
C	Finish strong	Yes

This is a bit late for a Boston recap and very long for a casual read (consider yourself warned). It’s kind-of about the race, but it’s also just a bunch of semi-connected thoughts and feelings about training, injury, results, and what comes next that have been floating around for me over the last couple months.

Prologue

I started running during the pandemic, transitioning away from my long-time sport of Ultimate Frisbee to try to run a sub-5 mile (report here). I did it, and it was good. And I had caught the running bug. Ready to extend my distances, I declared to my coach that my next goal (after a short hiatus to play one more season of frisbee) was to qualify for Boston. Boston was, in fact, the only marathon I had ever spectated: I remember sitting at Coolidge Corner in 2009, watching runners speed by. I was young and springy then, and had no desire to run farther than 3 miles continuously. But now it was 2021, and time had run out on my fast-twitch abilities: it was time to go long. I wanted to run Boston, which meant I had to run something else - and hopefully just one “something else” - first.
We decided to target Eugene for 2022, to qualify for Boston in 2023. I began building up my base in the fall, testing my weekly mileage limits. I remember a “long run” of 70 minutes the first Sunday after I returned to regular running. I nearly gave up and walked 60 minutes in. But the next Sunday I did 80 minutes, and it was better. By the end of the fall, I was comfortably hitting 50 mpw and 2 hour runs. By the time Eugene came around, I had sixteen weeks of generally healthy training and six 20+ mile runs in my legs. felt ready, and I was: I ran a 2:42. I was a freshly minted 36 at the time, so with the BQ time for my age group and gender at 3:05, I was firmly in the clear.
I'll pause here to say that although I am far from an elite runner, I am also keenly aware that many people work their asses off for years to qualify for Boston, and that some never do. I worked hard, too, and my history of sports can’t have hurt, but at the end of the day I know I have some (unearned) talent for running that made my path to Hopkinton easier than it is for many. I will leave it here in saying that I have immense respect for everyone who laces up and puts in the work, regardless of their pace and outcome.

The Build

After Eugene, I had turned my attention away from the roads for about six months. I put the bank of fitness I had developed to work on trails and on mountains. I got to cover (and bonk on) a few of the many thrilling backcountry objectives in British Columbia, and even ran a 50k in Washington. (It went about as well as most people’s first 50k, which is to say that I ran out of food, water, fully supermanned down a trail, cramped every muscle in my lower body, and shuffled it in. Huge success.) But when December came around, it was time to get back to the roads.
Working with the same coach, my road fitness came back surprisingly quickly. I was hitting high-water marks for volume, pushing my average up to the high 60s/low 70s. I felt, well, not good, but I did feel fast. I remember hammering out a 30 minute tempo on the track at 5:41/mi, a workout I never would have been capable of during the Eugene build. I was tired after, but confident and elated. I got compliments from the youngsters rolling 600 repeats around the track, and their coach. I felt like I was on track for a new PR, and not just a PR but a crushingly fast time, maybe somewhere in the mid 2:30s. But somewhere, offscreen, ominous music played. I had my wings on, and I was headed towards the sun.
The sun took the form of a work trip to Bozeman. I flew over Thursday, found a gym to do a tough 60 minute “mountain fitness” workout that evening, ran for an hour Friday morning in the snow, and skate skied 2.5 hours hard on Saturday. Sunday morning, I took on a treadmill workout that was something like 7x(7 min @ 5:41/mi, 2 min off). After two intervals, I knew I didn’t have it. I stepped off the treadmill. I’ve failed workouts in the past, and I’ve been able to move on, but for some reason this one stuck. It stuck, as they say in the South in my craw. Annoyed, I went back to my hotel room and tried to regroup. With my muscles already starting to tighten up with the effort, I resolved to partially salvage the day with an easy run around town. But it didn’t feel like I had salvaged anything. So, after an 8-hour, two hopper flight home, I made another attempt to soothe my bruised ego. With night falling, I hit the pavement, starting out easy but picking up speed. Tired, tight, and without any food or water, I hammered away, deep in the no-man’s land of Zone 3. I had heard the warnings. I paid no heed. I was invincible, and I was going to reclaim the fitness I had missed out on that morning. I ran the distance of a half marathon and got home after dark, and you know what? It felt good, at the time. It felt

The Injury

The next morning, I woke up in a pile of melted wings. My left leg couldn’t take any weight without shooting pain and was tender to the touch around my mid-shin. I felt the dubious benefit of immediate and regretful clarity on what had gone wrong. My ego had let me believe that I could or should try nail a workout on a foreign treadmill at altitude (Bozeman!) after an exhausting couple of days. Failing that, it had convinced me that I should make up the workout with a long, unfueled run. Ego is a hell of drug.
It took several days for me to accept that I was injured. Looking back on my training log, it seems insane, but I ran the next few days on my program, including a track workout. My leg would throb and ache, but I would get through it, only to wake up in more pain that would abate just enough for me to try it out again that afternoon. Eventually, I fessed up to my coach and she immediately sent me to a PT and had me stop running for a week. I thought this was excessive at the time, but in retrospect I think it might have saved the build. The PT I saw said I had a stress reaction, probably brought on by a combination of weak glutes (it’s always the glutes) changing my push off and some good old-fashioned overdoing it.
For the next month, I cross trained with uphill biking, skate skiing, and water jogging. We re-introduced running gradually, starting with once every three days, then every other day, then two out of three days. The shin seemed to get better slowly, and we gradually reached a kind of homeostasis: I knew how far I could push it, and as long as I didn’t overdo it, it seemed to recover slightly faster every time. But the injury had come at a bad time, and missing most of February meant that I couldn’t race the local half marathon I had planned on or a local trail race (though I still participated in them as long runs).
By mid-March, I was feeling mostly better. In addition to Boston, I had also signed up for Chuckanut 50k, a trail ultra renowned for its smooth runnable trails and its timing: it often drew some of the elites of US trail running as an early season opener. I didn’t feel quite ready to hammer the downhills, but if anything, limiting myself kept my quads intact almost through the end of the race. I didn’t tear the roof off, but I ran most of the way and felt pretty good doing it. When I woke up the next day with the usual soreness, but no acute pain in my shin, I knew I was going to finish the build and run an honest race at Boston.
The only problem was that a week’s recovery brought me to March 24: only about three weeks before Boston. With a weeklong taper, shorter than usual by necessity, we really only had two weeks to get into Boston shape. My coach put on a masterclass in programming: she designed workouts that required exactly as much as I could give at the time, while preparing me for the unique qualities of the Boston experience and course. One in particular stands out: 4x(15 min MP effort, 8 min T effort, 4 min jog), but on a route that included a 300-foot hill, which I ended up going up and down 3 times. The key was to maintain effort going uphill, but to not go any faster than 6:10/mile downhill. That and another long run gave me two 20+ milers in the books. That was it.
Going into Boston, I knew I didn’t have the sharpness I had even three months ago. I had started the cycle hoping to PR, maybe by a lot, but before the marathon I set more conservative goals: my C goal was to get to 20 miles (where my mom would be) feeling strong; my B goal was to get under 2:45. My A goal was to PR. I wasn’t feeling brave: I wanted to minimize the possibility of blowing up, while still giving myself a fighting chance at a one-second PR if I was having a really good day.

The Marathon

There’s not much to say about Boston (the marathon) that readers here haven’t read before. The logistics are impeccable, but overwhelming for a first-timer, the fanfare and the fans are legendary, and the course is the running world’s version of the Strait of Messina: athletes must navigate Scylla’s ego-tempting downhills and Charybdis’ ill-timed uphills to survive. While it is literally impossible to make it to the Boston marathon start line without having at least one hundred people tell you to not hammer the downhill at the start, people still do it every single year.
In a way, I was lucky have reckoned with (and lost to) my ego early in the build. I came to Boston healthy but wary of too much self-belief. We set a target and hard limit on the pace I would set through the first 15k: 6:15s would be ideal, but at most 6:10s: I wouldn’t run faster than I had down my training hill. At the start line, a small inspiration struck. Boston sets bib numbers by qualifying time, and my 2:42 at Eugene gave me something in the 1100s. Within my corral, I found the people around my number and then walked about 30 meters back, placing myself closer to folks wearing 1500s. I reasoned that if most people overcooked the start, then I wanted to be with the folks overcooking it at a pace I could be comfortable with.
Once the race started, it was virtually impossible, for the first couple miles or so, to shift my pace much above or below what the people around me wanted to run. If thought at first that I had let myself sit too far back: I ran a 6:35 first mile down the two-lane streets of Hopkinton. But as the crowds thinned a bit, I found a rhythm, and clicked off my first 5k at around 19:14, around a 6:12/mile pace. The next 5k, still downhill but slightly less, was a 19:12. The third was 19:13. Rolling through the small towns that make up the western side of the Boston metro area, I didn’t feel good, exactly, but I also didn’t feel bad. I wasn’t sure what kind of day I was having. That’s the odd thing about the marathon, so far as I can tell: you might know you’re having a bad day early on, but deciding that you’re having a good day is inviting disaster.
A quick aside: it can’t be overstated how impressive the Boston crowds are. There was no point on the course that I can remember where we were without support for more than 25 meters. Wellesley and Boston University are extreme even in that context, though: you actually feel the roar at those points in the course before you hear or see it. Bless you, you drunk and joyful undergraduates.
By 25k, we were through half and quickly approaching the Newton Hills. After a long downhill, we turned at the fire station and started to charge up. I shortened my stride and began to pump my arms, lifting my effort from a 6 to a 7 but no higher. I didn’t look at my watch until the end of the first hill, so you can imagine my shock when I saw that the last mile had been a 6:06. I cruised the lengthy downhill after the first hill (nobody really tells you about those) and regained my composure. The second hill was punchier, and brought me down to a 6:10, but I still felt good, and was starting to pass quite a few people. The third hill was mostly forgettable, which left only Heartbreak. While not objectively a big hill, it’s big enough for that point in a marathon, and you definitely see it coming. I was determined to hold my early race pace through it, though, and pushed the effort up again. I was breathing hard, but I got to the top still holding a 6:11 pace.
Even at the top of Heartbreak, I wasn’t fully ready to believe that this was going to be a really good day. I’m told that much better runners have lost entire races in the so-called “haunted” mile following Heartbreak, and I wasn’t sure what my quads had left in the tank. But while it still didn’t feel good, I kept pouring in gas and they kept responding. The last few miles of the race are a bit of a blur: I remember pushing the pace down to 6:06, then 6:00, then even below 6:00 for a mile or so. There are a couple very short and punchy climbs just before the last turns that took something out of me, but by the time I turned left on Boylston I knew I had more than the balance left over. I started sprinting at the turn, only to realize that the 600 meter long stretch was a bit more than I had bargained for. Still, I closed respectably: I ran last mile was a 5:41, exactly what I had worked on maintaining in that early tempo workout.
I finished in 2:40:XX and negative split by about 2 minutes. It poured like crazy 15 minutes after, while I huddled under a restaurant awning. I watched other runners come in. Some, like me, had the elation of a good day to soothe their tired muscles and joints. Some had no such balm, and were left to untangle the end of a long, challenging cycle from a disappointing final result. I was reminded, too, that it’s all relative: as I sat under the awning, I heard a runner near me lament his 2:35, while another came in over the moon with his 3:15. Kipchoge had a bad day, and he finished more than half an hour before I did. We are comparison machines, and expectations versus reality is the oldest routine we know.

Epilogue

The marathon is a harsh race, and I feel genuinely lucky to have had good experiences on my attempts so far. Two months on though, my body still feels beat up: I’m struggling to recover, my knees ache, and my workouts seem to be going the wrong direction. I don’t think I gave my recovery the respect it deserved, so I am once again tangling with my own hubris.
Assuming I can rest enough to properly recover, I also find myself in the position of figuring out what’s next. Boston was a big goal for me, and I didn’t set any real running objectives after it. All I have on my schedule this summer is a couple of local trail and road races. I thought Boston would be my last marathon before I moved entirely to the more forgiving pastures of trail running, but I’m also tempted to see how far I can push the needle on my road running before age claws my aerobic fitness back from me. I’m 37 now, and well aware that at some point the PRs will no longer be on the table, but I think that day is still a few years off. If you were me, what would you aim for next?

Prolifers frequently equate abortion with the murder of a child. In this post, I'll argue that that's a false equivalence by focusing on the death itself. So for now I'm setting aside the "intentional killing" part of the debate and focusing on a subjective sense of wrongness or badness when a living thing dies.
Obviously all living things die eventually. But do we typically care about all those deaths equally? Are they all equally terrible? I don't think so.
The death of a carrot after you pull it out of the ground to eat it is almost universally considered morally neutral, if not a net good. The death of a fish when you pull it out of the water to eat it is slightly more concerning to many people. The death of a domesticated animal with whom we have social bonds is even more upsetting. And finally, the death of a human being is almost always perceived as negative by most other human beings.
So obviously death in and of itself isn't inherently an evil thing; indeed it can be a beneficial thing.
When it comes to humans dying, there is also a range of badness: from sad but expected, all the way up to life-shatteringly tragic, the stuff of superhero origin stories. Note that I'm not not talking about the moral value of the people; all people are equally valuable. I'm only talking about the negative weight of the death.
Take my grandmother, for example: she died a few years ago at the age of 92, peacefully in her sleep with her loved ones nearby. She led a long and fulfilling live, and she was ready to go. Our family grieved, of course. And I miss her, of course. But all in all I'd call it a good death, comparatively speaking.
Compare that to the death of my uncle: he was a remarkably healthy man with two teenaged sons and a loving wife, who felt a little off one day. He kept feeling worse and worse and none of the doctors could figure out what was wrong. He suffered horribly for a couple months, and then he was suddenly dead at the age of 49. Our family grieved, of course. And I miss him, of course. But his death seems more tragic, or simply worse, when compared to my grandmother's.
Again, I'm not saying my grandmother's life had any less value than my uncle's; just that her death was less distressing.
Do you agree with my premise that not all deaths are equally bad, and not even all deaths of humans are equally bad? If not, please let me know in the comments.
In thinking about the differences between the perceived awfulness of different deaths of living organisms, I've come up with a list of contributing factors:
1) Was there no justification for the death? Senseless death seems more tragic.
2) Was the death preventable? It seems worse if it could have been prevented.
3) How much suffering was involved? There is potential for both physical suffering for the organism itself and emotional suffering for both the organism and anyone who cared about it.
4) Was the dying organism self-aware and/or opposed to death? This may just be an extension of factor 3, but we tend to be empathetic if the death is both anticipated and feared or dreaded, making it seem worse.
Each of these factors contributes a different weight depending on the circumstances. For a carrot, the answer is no to all four factors. A fish might suffer a bit, which is why some people are vegan. The death of a beloved pet is more tragic still, since now we're including the grief of the animal's owners.
For humans these factors can vary widely based on circumstance. My grandmother was not in any pain and was at peace with dying; her death was both inevitable and unavoidable. And while we did grieve for her, we did not suffer any surprise or loss of expectations. My uncle's death felt much more senseless, and possibly preventable. It also involved a lot more suffering, for him and for us (especially my aunt and cousins). Everyone had expected him to be around for many more decades, and no one was at peace with it. And he was all too aware that he was dying.
So let's apply the four factors to the death of a human blastocyst that fails to successfully implant. I consider these to be natural deaths, since blastocysts die without implanting most of the time. It's the way human reproduction has evolved: to cull all but the strongest embryos, since human pregnancy is so costly to the pregnant person. In that sense, the death of a blastocyst does have a purpose. And of course the answers to the other three factors are no. So we can say the death of a human blastocyst is still a loss of human life, but not a terribly upsetting one. This view bears itself out in the way society responds to these deaths: with resounding apathy. Most people don't even know it's happening, and no one who does know is trying to do anything about it. I'm fairly certain that most people don't even view these blastocysts as human beings, despite PL claims to the contrary.
What about the blastocysts that manage to implant successfully? Early miscarriage is far more common than most people realize. Around 15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage (considerably more then will be intentionally aborted). Almost half of all women who make it to 24 weeks gestation have already had at least one miscarriage previously. The cause of death can be considered a mixture of natural and accidental; many of the implanted embryos are unhealthy in some way, but the healthy ones die by some accident that might have been avoided. These spontaneous abortions occur during the same gestational time period as induced abortions, with the vast majority of both occuring in the first trimester. These are the exact same "babies" that are being killed in abortion. So are their deaths widely considered equivalent to the accidental (or natural) death of a born child?
No. Of course not. The typical family does not grieve for an early miscarriage the same way they would for the death of a child. Much of the time they don't even tell anyone; there's a reason why it's customary to wait until the second trimester to make a public announcement. And my society is doing very little to address it. This is the same society that banned lawn darts after three kids were killed, but they do virtually nothing to try to prevent the deaths of millions of embryos? I'd love to hear if any society does treat miscarriage the same way they treat lawn darts, SIDs, or prematurity, with the same devotion to prevention efforts.
Seriously ask yourself: would you rather suffer an early miscarriage of a wanted pregnancy, or have your four year old develop a fatal illness or be killed in a fatal accident? Or are the two scenarios perfectly equivalent in your mind?
Please let me know if you have any rebuttal to my claim that embryonic death is not generally perceived as equivalent to the death of a child.
Why aren't the deaths of embryos perceived the same as the deaths of children? I think it goes back to the four factors: the death of an embryo may be kind of senseless and minimally avoidable, but they also cause relatively little suffering (in some cases no suffering at all) and of course the embryo is completely unaware it was ever alive, let alone that it's dying.
So if the death of an embryo is demonstrably not equivalent to the death of a child (both in how people typically perceive it and how society responds to it), then comparing killing an embryo to killing a child is also demonstrably not equivalent.