Welcome to FnafCringeFun, the circlejerk of FnafCringe Remember to read the rules and have fun making fun of FnafCringe in the form of memes :)
For stuff that sorta relates to Five Nights at Freddys, but doesn't fit into the FNaFCJ category.
1337 Wiki is a video game database that includes walkthroughs, games, guides, and more.
Bought baseball tickets for the wrong night đ and would hate for them to go to waste. Tokyo Giants vs Softbank Hawks in a friendly game at the Fukuoka PayPay Dome tomorrow (Sunday) night. Pls PM if interested and Iâll send you the QR code, all you need to do is go to the ticket counter to pick up.
Hello fellow late night lurkers on Reddit. 28/27 MF long distance couple here looking for a woman or another couple to chat with tonight and potentially ongoing. Not looking for single guys at this time!
Weâre both very open and easy going. We really enjoy connecting and chatting with new people and being a little flirty if it leads there!
Him - 28, white, 6â4, average body. Humorous. Plays guitar, piano, and various other instruments, enjoys cooking, and into gaming both old and new!
Her - 27, brown skin, 5â5, average body. Also humorous, works in the mental health field, big animal lover, and likes newer Switch gaming!
If any of this interests you shoot us with a little about you and letâs chat!
Hey! I am Peter, nice to meet you! I am looking for someone I can share my interests with and develop a real connection.
My interests are what you would expect from a nerdy person: gaming, programming, anime, drawing, reading, learning instruments and just taking long walks at night. Also love everything horror related and I am especially into cosmic horror, my favorites of course being H.P Lovecraft and Junji Ito's works. I am also a metalhead and music is really important to me so would love to find someone with similar tastes but it's not a big deal if you aren't a fan of it. Recently got into cosplaying too. I can be a bit shy at first but I just hope to meet someone I can share everything with and just be myself.
I am currently in university learning software development. Feel free to send me a dm if you would like to chat (:
I am a cishet man and am posting from a throwaway account.
When I was in third grade, I had a really close friend I'll call John. John was an amazing person. We bonded over our shared interests of primarily Minecraft but also of other video games and book series. Stuff like that. However, when we left elementary school after fourth grade, we didn't go to the same middle school. As a result, we became less close, but still saw one another every now and again. It was during one such time that we were sitting in his back yard talking about who we liked, yadda yadda. Mostly him asking me who I liked; he was the only person from our elementary school that went to his middle school so he was interested in how the rest of us were getting on I guess. Eventually he poses the question: 'who do you want to have sex with?' I had no idea what he was talking about. We were in 5th grade. Idk whether he had started watching porn and knew what it was from that, or if he had received sex ed from his school at that point but regardless. I asked him what sex was. He dodged the question. Told me to come inside. I did. Told me to come to his room with him. I did. Told me to come in his closet with him. I did. Told me to do something I didn't understand. "Why?" "Because it's what best, best friends do." Yeah. Fortunately my mother had arrived to pick me up before anything went too far but there was some physical contact. I got dressed. Left with my mom. The next year, he moved across the country. Never saw him again. But as I was walking away from his house: "Goodbye, best, best friend." I just graduated High School this month, and those words ring in my ears all these years later.
Redditors. You are the only people that know this happened. Just me, John, and that stupid fucking closet. I haven't told anyone for a whole slough of reasons. First, I wrote it off same as he did. 'It's what best, best friends do. Then, as I learned more, it was other things. Shame that I let this happen to myself. Thoughts of "what good could it do?" and "nobody would believe me now." I know I shouldn't obey these thoughts. I know none of them make any sense. He took advantage of me. He knew what sex was and he knew that I did not. But I still haven't told anyone about it. I don't want to be weak. I don't want to be vulnerable. I don't want to be the little kid getting taken advantage of in the god damn piece of shit closet.
I decided to post my story in hopes that maybe, just maybe, I might feel a little bit better. So far, it has proven counterintuitive. We'll see how things are tomorrow. This account is temporary. I will never log into it ever again. There will be no updates. There will be no edits. There will be no responses in the comments. I'm not ready for anybody in real life to know about this yet, maybe I never will be, so I'm trying to leave as little trace as I really can. I will be looking at this post on my main account, though. So should you choose to leave well-wishes know they are being thoughtfully read, cherished, and revered.
Hey guys wife and I are planning a first time trip to Hawaii & Honolulu (Waikiki area) and I know thereâs a ton of curious tourist asking questions on here. But, I couldnât find any recent (post covid closures) about things to do late at night. Will have access to transport but a preference for closer shops/events.
Does anyone have any favorite eats or non drinking events they enjoy doing late at night? Im a bit of a night owl/insomniac so any suggestions?
I love trying new things food and hobby wise. But, mostly into board games, video games, tcgs, anime, and movies. Pretty much anything nerdy/geeky. Obviously thereâs google maps and random YouTube reviews Iâve checked out but would love some more experienced thoughts and opinions.
Thanks in advance! Enjoy the weekend!
My road to the show player was a two-way player (Starting Pitcher / 1st base) for a while but the other night I decided to try being a closing pitcher when asked by the coach. Previous to switching to closer, my starter was ranked in the high 70âs (77-79 idrk) but after I switched he went to a 67 or 68. Aside from that, I was Designated Hitter every other time I wasnât chosen to pitch, which I enjoyed due to the only batting aspect and not having to play first, but after I switched to closer it hasnât given me the option to DH either. I wish to possibly go back to starter if it will boost my stats back to what they were and want to go back to DHing so if anyone has any advice please help me out. It would be more than appreciated bc Iâm not great at navigating the game. Thanks
Been getting tens of minutes of sleep per night lately. So I've been filling my time with video games, having failed to correct the issue with non-screen activities anyway.
I was sitting here playing the new Jedi Survivor, just totally engrossed. This game is absolutely fantastic. My S.O. was laying down next to me in the bed, so I had headphones on, because I'm glad at least one of us is getting good sleep and I'd hate to interrupt that for her.
I was right in the middle of comboing the hell out of a ton of droids, when suddenly there's a super bright flash of light from both my left and right. I jumped super hard, but it was when I looked over at the bedroom's bathroom, the light was on, and a hand seemed to be crawling out from behind the door. I was completely frozen in fear.
Then the toilet flushes, and my S.O. comes out from the bathroom. I hadn't even realized she'd gotten up, the little sneak lol. The light was just her turning the bathroom light on, which reflected off of the mirror directly to my right, giving the appearance of light flashing from multiple sources.
I laughed it off, but when I walked out into the rest of the dark house, I still just felt that sense of cold dread, which I haven't felt since childhood. Even an hour later it's still sort of there, like a mild paranoia.
It was that feeling like you sometimes felt when you were a kid alone in your room at night, and your overactive imagination just came up with all kinds of terrible explanations for the shadows you saw around your room. Or when you'd walk down a dark hallway feeling like something was right behind you.
Sleep deprivation fucking sucks.
Hi I'm your DM if you do plan to join, I have been urging to run a cyberpunk game for a while now but this is going to be my first time DM'ing or running a cyberpunk game so I'm going to make a few mistakes, if your alright with that then please contact me on discord: ifall#5532
Now for the setting: You are a bunch of unlucky few in night city, meeting under mysterious circumstances most of you have an unpaid dept to a person known as Daz after he saved? gave you a loan? or anything that caused you to be under his debt, so now he's called you to repay the debt by doing a risky job with no info on what your trying to do all he said was to steal a case from a suit and your debt would be paid off and a little extra for your troubles.
We will have a session 0 to meet and tell each other who our characters are and probably give me the chance to learn a bit more about cyberpunk it will happen on the 20th of may at 6PM 7+GMT. again you can message me on reddit and or Discord: ifall#5532
I know I'm quiet and not very expressive, but when your talking I hang on to every word you say.
When I was talking about people I admire tonight, I was thinking about you the whole time.
I hope you know how much I appreciated your message. I should've wrote more to you, how pretty, funny, kind, and sweet you are.
I should've wrote something more personal, like how you approach me when no one else does.
I hope I don't seem too standoffish. Anxiety's the worst.
Something about your eyes is just so pretty. If eye contact wasn't the hardest thing in the world I'd stare at them all the time.
Out of all the people I've looked up to as much as you, your the only one who's shown any interest in me.
I'm sorry I'm so dry. I'm just worried you'd think I'm even weirder if I said whats really on my mind.
You sort of got me out of a weird grief cycle. I nearly forget about what I felt last year now that all I can think about is how much I wish we were closer.
It's funny, when I liked our mutual friend and would think about him all time. You were always there, but I only noticed you last year when you would listen to my stories so closely.
I hope you know that I would literally just listen to you talk all night. You have such a pretty voice.
I keep telling myself that one of these days I'll show you how much I appreciate you. I'm not sure I'll ever have the courage to speak to you first.
Even with all that, I'm more open to you than anyone else I know. I never would've said any of those things if it was anyone else leading the discussion.
You don't know how happy it made me when my dad said you called me sweet.
I hope I don't seem uncomfortable around you, cause I'm really not.
I'd love to play games with you too.
Everywhere I go I hope to see you.
I wish I could tell you how hard it is to explain that I have a crush but its not really a crush cause its not romantic.
That jacket you wear almost every winter day inspired me to buy one like it. It makes me feel a bit less dysphoric, but I don't think I could ever tell you that.
Throughout the DC show and in the Reddit/Facebook talk before the show I saw a lot of Ledo's hate and a lot of questions about why Ledo's was the chain that was picked when the DC crowd didn't seem to like it that much.
The first thing I want to say is that Ledo's pizza is weird. I love Ledo's; I actually went on a quest to try to replicate it before and I got pretty close. I usually make NY style, so imagine my surprise when the dough is closer to pie crust than pizza crust that I actually had to dock the crust to get the texture right, the sauce is sweeter than anything I've ever made before, and the cheese is smoked provolone. It's so weird that when I managed to make something I could call "Ledo's Pizza" I don't know if I'd even consider it pizza.
But I grew up near Annapolis and Ledo's is an institution. Sure, we got normal pizza frequently, but Ledo's is Ledo's. It's unique in a way that we would all get excited for. It wasn't weird to us, it was just a different type of pizza that only Ledo's had. I didn't even consider the sauce sweet until some of the comments pre-show talked about the sweetness and I thought about it. It's just the sauce that Ledo's uses to me.
There's also something to be said for eating in the restaurant. It's a pizza place with table service like the old Pizza Huts, so even though we did carry out sometimes it's a place to go after soccer games or on a Friday night. The DC location isn't a great representation of that, but I have a lot of Ledo's memories sitting at an actual table. I wouldn't call my modern enjoyment of it nostalgia, but I do think that if you combine all of that from a young age a lot of us got conditioned to love the place.
Personally I don't know of anyone growing up who didn't love Ledo's. Which brings me to my next point; DC is full of transplants and Ledo's is less of a city thing and more of a suburb thing. Take everything I said previously, remove being conditioned to love Ledo's, and you have a sold out 9:30 Club judging it on it's pie crust, sweet sauce, and weird cheese.
If it feels like we didn't like it that much, I think it's just that people who feel like me were outnumbered. We were vocal in chain selection because we feel strongly about it because of everything above. At the end of the day we got a Doughboys episode on Ledo's though and I'm really happy about that.
4 forks 2 tines for Ledo's. 5 forks for the show.
I have been playing "The Island: Castaway: The Lost World" for the past couple of weeks. Today out of curiosity I looked up how many chapters total there are (I'm partway through chapter six) and discovered to my dismay that, out of a planned eighteen chapters, only eleven were completed, and the game was released as-is with a "to be continued" 'ending' five years ago; devs have no plans to wrap things up.
I'm a bit sad, not to mention mad, about this, because the game does one thing quite well that I've been enjoying: frequent need to venture into the wilderness to harvest wild plants, which entails both being able to recognize various plants and being able to recall whereabouts each type of plant regenerates after being harvested.
(There are also farming, fishing, hunting, crafting, non-food resource acquisition, etc. aspects to the game, as well as a plotty storyline, all of which I don't mind, but aren't the things that make this game stand out for me. I do appreciate the exploration aspect of games in this genre, but I am primarily looking for gathering mechanics.)
I would prefer for time-limited tasks (e.g. you have six minutes to gather four different fruits and an herb) to be at a minimum, in games recommended on this post.
I'm looking for games on either Android or PC (especially if available on Steam), preferably Android as I have a tablet and am going to be spending a lot of time in medical waiting rooms in the coming months.
Thanks in advance for any and all recs!
Introduction The short story you are about to read was created/inspired/based on a variety of sources related to or about Aniara. Aniara rock opera (Seventh Wonder) - The Great Escape, the Aniara wikipedia page, the Aniara film, poem etc. So if you read something and it sounds familiar, it's probably because it comes from or is based on, one of those sources. I have also tried to incorporate some of the thoughts and ideas expressed here on
aniara, so some of you may see that reflected. I have not read everything that has to do with the Aniara universe, but I have found many of the resources listed on
aniara very helpful in creating this short story. Thank you for those. I have also included a couple alternate endings.
Also, this story belongs to everyone, so everyone should feel free to to fill in the blanks, add to, subtract, or change any part of the story, in anyway they see fit.
I dedicate this short story to all the fans of Aniara, this story is for you and of course the late Harry Martinson.
Like many people who watched the film 'Aniara', I was mesmerized/traumatized by it. It really had a profound effect on me. So much so that I decided to write this fan fiction short story. I am not a writer. The short story that you are about to read is my (very) amateurish tribute to the film. I apologize in advance for all of the grammaspelling and other errors. Despite the (many) flaws of this short work, I hope that you can see what I was attempting to do. Anyway without further or do, I present to you:
The Lost Voices of Aniara: A Space Saga WE CROWN THE SKIES WITH OUR TIARA, THE LIFE AND FATE OF ANIARA
Note: The following represents the most complete (so far) chronicle of events that happened onboard the Aniara.
Year 18 - Song of Melancholy - My name is Benjamin Jenkins, but everyone calls me "Benny", I am proud to announce that I am the new "Captain" of the mighty space "cruise ship" Aniara. Of course, my title could just as easily be the Admiral of Mars or the Conquer of the Universe, or some other ridiculous sounding grandiose title. Sometimes you must laugh in the face of despair otherwise you will go insane. It's all just for fun of course. I was given the title "Captain" by the crew because I was able to restore the communications transmitter. At least I think I was able to retore it? The lights show green for transmitting, so yeah I bet it works, and besides, all of this is being recorded for posterity and it will be placed in a time/memorial capsule. After that the capsule will be sent in the (general) direction of Mars/Home, where hopefully someone finds it. I'm also the Senior Maintenance Tech in charge of repairing/prolonging various ship systems, etc. There are now only a few remaining livable areas of the ship so it's not as much work as one might imagine. And to think 18 years ago, I was just an ordinary passenger, how far through the ranks I've come! As the "Captain" I will now recount the entire history of the Aniara, the various events, the everyday happenings, from the awe inspiring and amazing, to the boring and mundane, great triumphs and crushing defeats, all the feelings of happiness and joy that come with new life and all of the sorrows and despair that come from (too) many deaths and (too) many hardships. All of our great accomplishments, setbacks and everything in between will be laid bare before the entire universe to witness. Our love, our hate, our dreams, our wants and desires, disappointments, anger and fear but above all our HOPE. Our precious HOPE, the only thing we have left, which has kept us alive for so long. Our HOPE that this message will be received, that someone, somewhere will know our story and our struggle, our HOPE that Mars will be successfully terraformed into the paradise that we all know it can be and our HOPE that Earth will be restored to the paradise that it once was. It's all here, it's all being recorded for the future. I will start our saga from the very beginning of our trip all those years ago...
Hour 1 - Routine Voyage - Well, this is it! Soon I and many others will make a new home on Mars... of course if we hadn't ruined the first one...
Week 3 - Without a Map/A Slight Detour - Today the Captain made an announcement that there would be a slight detour in our trip. In order to avoid a collision with space debris, (which would have destroyed the ship) we had to veer off course. Some of the debris hit the nuclear reactor (a very rare event), which forced the crew to eject all of the ship's fuel. The Captain told everyone that we will be able to resume our trip to Mars once the ship passes a celestial body, which should (probably) happen in about two years. Everyone is (understandably) disgruntled by this unfortunate news. As for me I have no one waiting for me on Mars so it's not as bad.
Year 2 - Wait and See - After several long months of trying out all of the various amusements and other distractions, I was starting to get bored, so I spoke with one of the senior crew members and asked if I could volunteer to do something, anything. Also a job would help keep my mind off our current situation.
Today, my request to work was approved and now I'm part of the crew. My job is to do general maintenance tasks around the ship. I also help take care of the algae, which are used to supply the ship with oxygen and food. It's not a very challenging task, in fact I find it very tedious, but the algae are crucial for the ship's survival, so it gives me a sense of purpose and on top of that I also earn extra points.
Eventually, because of my (part time) job in maintenance, I would come to know every nook and cranny of the Aniara. On one particular day I noticed a slight problem (Electrostatic Diffusion Impaction or EDI) with the ship's air filtration mechanism. I was quick to inform my supervisor about the issue and together we fixed it immediately. If I hadn't spotted the problem, it could have gotten much worse and that would have been catastrophic for the crew and passengers. Afterwards my supervisor bought me a shot of (rationed) Dutch brandy. Other than that, nothing of note has really happened. Everyone is basically in a holding pattern.
One last thing. I've heard a disturbing rumor that there is no celestial body for us to turn around at... If this is true then, that would mean... But for now all we can do now is wait and see...
Year 3 - The Yurg/The Passing of Mima - A memorial was set up to honor the end of Mima. So much joy had she given us. On the wall among the thousands of drawings, pictures, and sad goodbye letters was a poem that went like this:
We sit and stare at all the marvels that she brings us.
Mima lead the way.
Shine your light!
Be the beacon of hope at night.
Perfect grace in the barren house of space.
Shine your light!
Blind us when reality bites.
We so need the magic she does.
Many rumors are going around about what happened to Mima. People say that the Mimarobe (MR) was the one that ended up causing Mima to die. As for me, personally, I don't believe it. The Mimarobe just didn't seem like the type. A few times after I got off from work, when I walked to the end of the long line of people waiting to see Mima, the Mimarobe would come out and say "Ok, everyone that's it that's enough for today, you have to leave now, sorry." My own personal opinion is that she was just trying to give Mima a break, so even though I was of course disappointed, I completely understood. Sometimes we all just need a break. Sometimes things just get to you and you start to feel overwhelmed. I understood the feeling. Mima was like us in that way. Anyway, Rightly or wrongly the Mimarobe was locked up in the ships brig, her and another woman, I think she was one of the pilots,
Isabella\, I think was her name but I might be wrong. Oh well, our lives must go on, much sadder of course, but that's life, I guess. ****Isagel, the pilots name was Isagel, her and the Mimarobe would later become a couple.
Year 4 - The Cults - Strange things have started happening. Various cults have sprung up all over the ship with bizarre and strange names. One of these (that I am a member of) is called the ăŽăŒă«ăăłă”ăłă©ă€ăă»ăă©ăŒăšăăŒă»ăŻă©ă - GĆrudensanraito FĆeba Kurabu - which roughly means the Golden Sunlight Forever Club. Some of these phony cults are/were created as a disguise to have outrageous sex orgies. The cult that I am part of is one of these. (HELL YEAH!). The other cults are very boring, stare out the window and worship the stars or something like that, types. (Glad I'm not a member of those!).
Year 5 - The Calculation - A few weeks ago I met someone special (Carmen) at one of the "worship" services. I've seen her before a few times, but this is the first time that we "connected" and it was amazing. I'm glad that she accepts my physical imperfections (burns scars). Now we are a couple and have left the cult.
Fantastic news! The Captain has announced that an Emergency Refuel Rescue Probe is on its way! The news of the rescue probe has had an electrifying effect on the crew and passengers. Everyone is so excited that no one even cares that we will have to wait just over a year for it to get to us. People are starting to clean and pick up trash again, and the sex clubs and other cults are starting to go away (in anticipation of a return to proper civilization). Now we have hope again! Thank GOD!
Year 6 - The Spear - The rescue probe is almost here. (Only one week away!) I also have even more great news! My
girlfriend fiancée is pregnant!, now I will be a Father just like I always wanted! I have spoken to Captain Chefone and he has agreed that he will marry us on the day that the Aniara turns around and heads (finally) back to Mars/our new HOME! Even though it will take us several more years to get back, it will have been worth it to me. I am grateful for the "slight detour" we had to endure, because it allowed me to meet the love of my life! Now with our precious child on the way, I am truly happy. PURE JOY - beyond all words...
Something is wrong... After an entire year of training and preparation, the crew has successfully grappled the refuel probe and brought it on board. Everyone expected that within a few days, (a week at most) that we would turn around, but it's been three weeks and nothing. Every day the passengers ask the crew what's going on? When will we turn around? and every day we get the same answer: "Soon, everything is going according to plan, just be patient." People are starting to doubt and lose hope. I even walked right up to Captain Chefone but he knew what I was going to ask and he brushed me aside very angrily saying "Not now, I'm busy!". Now I don't know what to think. One minute I have a future and the next nothing. How can this be? I don't understand! WHY?
Catastrophe! After work I went straight to my quarters to sleep, it had been an exhausting day. Just after I fell asleep, I was awakened by a rumbling. Then, over the speaker came the announcement: Return immediately to your cabins and fasten your seat belts! Since I was already in bed, and had no idea what was going on, I quickly fastened my belt. When it was all over
[missing] passengers and crew left. I was told that it happened because of something called "bow shock", which
[missing] kind of like a shock wave. The bow shock had badly damaged many systems.
[missing] so now I've been "promoted" to Senior Maintenance Tech. Repairs must
[missing] don't have any more spare parts for
[missing] so many are dead...
Today the Mimarobe completed her beam-screen project. So now when you look outside you can see beautiful waterfalls and green fields etc. I try not to look at it too much. For me its just too painful...
Year 7 - The Fall of Heaven - Today marks the one year anniversary of the arrival of the so-called "Emergency Refuel Rescue Probe". What a very official and grand sounding name for a giant stupid looking dart or as some call it "The Spear". I've even heard some people refer to it as the "Devil's Javelin", but whatever you call it, it's of no use to us. The Astronomer had once told me before she died "supposedly" from a heart attack, (rumors say she was murdered by the captain, I don't doubt it) that all the work and tests they had done on the probe were useless and that even the hardest drills were simply ground into dust without even making so much as a scratch on the probe. Despite a literal barrage of tests and every possible experiment known, even using our most advanced lasers, they had achieved NOTHING! That was the moment I realized that we would never make it home. I even visted "The Spear" once, it was years after all the experiments had ended. There was a time when the area was heavily guarded by the crew and only authorized personnel were allowed in. Of course when I went to see it nobody was around, nobody cared, everyone had given up on it long ago. I saw all of the black marks from what must have been hundreds, if not thousands of desperate attempts to get inside it, or just to figure out what the damn thing was supposed to be. On the floor all around it were small heaps of black and silver metalic dust, remnants of our strongest and hardest drills, remnants of our hope. Our best and brightest couldn't even figure out what it was made of, let alone figure out how to use it to take us home.
I beat my hands against it over and over and I cried out my pain and anger at it. "You were supposed to save us!" "You were supposed to take us home!" You Damn! stupid thing, help us! save us!" But of course it was all useless my cries went unanswered, all I did was injure my hands and hurt my soul, assuming I even have one. After that I (I'm ashamed to admit it)... in complete and total desperation... I got down on my hands and knees in front of it and begged it to save us. "Oh, great magic spear, please save us and I will do anything, anything..."
After I had exhausted and humiliated myself I got up and went back to my quarters broken and alone. All hope was lost before my visit with "the spear" and afterwords it didn't even exist, not even as a word, as though there had never even been such a thing or concept as "hope".
I had been struck by the spear, just like everyone else, head on. My now ex-fiancée and I have split up. Things just weren't the same after the procedure. I don't blame her at all for our break-up, after talking about it, we agreed that if there was now no chance for us to make it home then... what was the point? I went with her when she had the procedure done. But before we went I secretly met with the doctor who would perform the operation and told her what I wanted done after. She told me that I was sick... that it was "disgusting", and what did I plan on doing with "it". I told her that it shouldn't matter, none of this matters, then I pulled out an EFR (emergency food ration). EFRs could remain edible for an indefinite period of time. (In theory they could last for hundreds of years.) Here I said, "one now and one when I get what I want". The doctor was stunned, I knew what she was going to say and I interrupted her and said,"Unlike everyone else I saved my emergency rations." "I only have the two left (I was lying) so don't try to extort me for more." After years of eating only algae, EFRs were (almost) more valuable than oxygen. Of course the doctor agreed and I got what I wanted. It might sound crazy but I had a plan. Fate had taken my family away, but I was prepared to defy even the gods themselves. I was determined that I would have my FAMILY! No matter what! Nothing and no one, no force of nature, no power in all the universe would take that from me. NO! NEVER!
I asked me a question, no reply.
I dreamt me a life and live a lie.
Dream me a nightmare...
I traveled the stars but passed them by.
For trapped on Aniara, here was I.
...always been leaving.
Year 8 - [missing]
Year 9 - The Daily Grind - I have now returned to reality. I have stopped all of the sick and sad mind games that I have being torturing myself with. I once created a "plan" to do the impossible, but no more, no more. Everyday now seems like an endless pointless, struggle. Sometimes
[missing] and hours. Some of my co-workers stopped
[missing] for now that's all any of us can do...
Year 10 - The Jubilee - Tonight at the Light-Year Hall, those of us that are still left are going to "celebrate" the 10th anniversary of our 3 week voyage to Mars or as I like to call it the "never ending space adventure" Ha!
Captain Chefone gave the Mimarobe a medal for her creation of the beam-screen device. I sat in the front row and couldn't help but notice that one of the Captains wrists was bandaged, probably from another suicide attempt...
Year 11 - Hope Restored - My ex-fiancée is dead. She commited suicide like so many others before. I was hard at work trying to revive the algae (they had been neglected for some time) when my assistant rushed in and told me the news. "They were about to send her body into space, you have to hurry if you want to see her". I immediately and literally dropped everything I was doing. The algae pack I had been working on fell and splashed on the floor as I ran out the door as fast as I could. As luck would have it, I made it just in time to see her, and I even had time to cut a lock of her hair. I then kissed her one last time and said "Goodbye my love... but, goodbye is not forever."
Then that was it, off she went into the empty, endless, void. She was gone I told myself, but not dead. I squeezed the lock of hair in my hand and vowed that I would bring her back to life, somehow, someway, I would make things right, we would live the life we were supposed to have. I would make it happen. It would happen. Suddenly, I felt a force deep inside me rushing to the surface. It had been years but I knew what it was, It had returned to me, a feeling of exuberation, of joy and the certainty of knowing that everything would be okay. I now resurrected my "plan" and now I had a reason to live again, I had a purpose, and now I had......HOPE! And this time I was determined that I would never lose hope again. NEVER!
Year 12 - Return of the Cults - Some of the old cults have started making a come back... However this time they are no longer sex/fun cults, because after so many years of eating just algae, almost everyone has lost their sex drive/ability to reproduce... I think because the type algae on board was genetically modified to produce the maximum amount of oxygen possible, so it was never intended to be used as a permanent main source of nutrition. If we had access to more than just the one type, things might be different...
Year 13 - Foward, Foward into the cold empty night! We ride! - Captain Chefone is dead. Suicide. I knew he had been on the brink the past few years so it's not much of a surprise. I would often hear him say to himself "We should have been home by now." Of course he was right, we should have, but instead here we are stuck on this eternal "voyage of the damned".
A week after Captain Chefone died, I found myself walking by his quarters. I had the sudden impulse to go inside. I don't know what it was (probably just morbid curiosity), but I think I just wanted to find some answers...
I was surprised to find that his quarters were just as much of a mess as mine. (And everyone else's.) I think because he was the Captain, I expected a lot more. (He was only human.) After looking around the room, I went over to his desk and inside I found the Aniara's Offical Ships Log, but the electronic notepad was damaged beyond repair (on purpose). However, underneath it was a small paper notebook. "Ah, I said out loud, now this should be interesting." When I opened the notebook I was immediately disappointed. Most of the pages were torn out and those few that remained had been harshly scribbled over.
On one of the few pages not missing or completely marked over was written this: Today, we almost lost the entire ship, were it not for my quick and decisive actions as Captain.
[illegible] an incredibly rare occurrence
[illegible] critically damaged our main nuclear reactor.
[illegible] only seconds
[illegible] forcing me to
[illegible] off course
[illegible] have power for some time. This evening I will break the news to the passengers in such a way that will cause the least amount of panic and at the same time not destroy their hope. If they knew the real situation, it would only cause unnecessary chaos. In this way, I will maintain order and keep the passengers safe. Fear and
[illegible] as Captain of Aniara
[illegible] that is now my primary job.
[illegible] now like a
Shepherd Father and the passengers my
sheep children. In many ways we are very lucky,
[illegible] this trip, Aniara's sister ship crashed into Jupiter heading towards the Orion belt colony. Everyone on onboard was killed.
On another page was written this: The rescue refuel probe is here.
[illegible] turned out to be
[illegible] not what I expected. I have
[illegible] for clarification,
[illegible] Mars
[illegible] -----cation. Testing will continue. I still remain confident that
[illegible] the project called "
[illegible] ---elin" can still be used in someway to turn the ship around and resume course.
The last two pages were so scribbled over that I could barely make out any words let alone a full sentence. I did however, notice what looked like the word "Devil" written over and over. Very strange. I left the Captain's quarters with more questions than answers...
Year 14 - [missing]
Year 15 - The Light Show Ends - Today the projection device created by MR, (Everyone still calls her the 'Mimarobe' as a sign of respect.) had to be shut down to conserve power. The Mimarobe often expressed to me her regret at not being more forceful with Captain Chefone in explaining the problem with Mima. She told me that if she could back in time she would say to the Captain:
"Just imagine what it will be like if Mima isn't here... do you understand how hellish the situation will become? My life is dedicated to this program and I'M TELLING YOU, IT WILL BURN OUT AND DIE! Imagine if people can temporarily go back to earth by turning on a light switch, now imagine if the bulb blows up, and there's no replacement..." "I know how important Mima is and you don't get it!"
The beam-screen seemed like a great idea at the time to keep everyone's spirits up, but in many ways it may have done more harm than good. People lost their minds staring all the time at something they knew they would never have...
Year 16 - [missing]
Year 17 - [missing]
Year 18 - The Time/Memorial Capsule - The Mimarobe was the one that came up with the idea for a time/memorial capsule. She (like all of us) has suffered greatly, but from time to time she would show a small spark of her old self. The idea, while slow to catch on, would eventually give those of us still left a renewed sense of purpose. (People now had a reason to get out of bed.) But, it was I who would take the idea and transform it into something greater. Our first attempt at creating the capsule was successful (it was little more than a metal box) but at the same time, as the Mimarobe pointed out it looked too much like a large coffin. I agreed. We could do better. We had to do better. But we had to be careful
[missing] effecting power systems. I asked the Mimarobe if she could sketch a better design. After two days the Mimarobe presented me with a new design, it was beautiful, but simple, yet elegant. Above the sketch was were the words, "Heart of Aniara." The name was perfect. We would fill the "Heart of Aniara", with our art and our poetry, with our hopes, dreams and wedding rings. We would pour into it our stories, our struggles, our trials and tribulations, we would fill it with the tear drops from our very souls.
The "Heart of Aniara" is almost complete. It has taken an entire
[missing] solid effort to build and everyone took turns polishing it, so now it shines like the golden sun. We also wrote
[missing] and painted two large red hearts on the sides. It
[missing] long and on the inside are different
[missing] created using metal partitions.
[missing] was instrumental in its consruction...
Year 19 - A Slight Delay - Disaster! Several Power systems, including all emergency back up systems across the ship have begun failing for some unknown reason.
[missing] working around the clock to figure out what is wrong... I don't know how much longer we can hold on...
We finally found the
[missing] will work for the time being, but
[missing] restored power
[missing] will do for now...
Year 20 - The Heart of Aniara - At last the time has come for our send off. Everything is ready. As the "Captain" of Aniara it is my great honor to commision this new vessel "Heart of Aniara". Behind me I heard someone whisper "vessel?". I continued, "It is my firm belief that the "Heart of Aniara" will make it back home to Mars and everyone will know our stories..."
A moment before send off, I told everyone to wait. Theres one more thing left. I then slid open a hatch on the side and told everyone that I hated to do this to them, but I was going to Mars with my family. The Mimarobe approached me with a half smile on her face and said in a very serious tone "Good Luck, Captain Benny", "tell everyone on Mars hi for us and that we wish we were there." I smiled and promised that I would. Then to my suprise all the others came up to me, with some shaking my hand and congratulating me, asking me to say hi to their family and friends as well. I then ducked down into the newly christened "Heart of Aniara." Then the hatch was sealed. A small rechargable electric candle that I brought with me, provided the only light. Knowing that we would be leaving in a moment I opened a small box, took Carmen (lock of ex-fiancée's hair) and Sarah Ann (small jar with dead fetus) and held them together in my left hand against my chest. I could feel my heart beating with a mixture of fear and excitement. I took out a small children's book with my right hand and began reading it from the beginning. It was my daughter's favorite. It was called "The Duck and the Noodle." "Daddy are we there yet?" I laughed as tears ran down my face and said "Yes, my little princess noodle were almost there."
The Memorial Capsule lauched into space with a loud whoosh...
(Mimarobe, MR) - When everyone had just got through waving goodbye and were getting ready to leave, the view screen turned on and with it a pre-recorded message from Captain Benny. "To celebrate this great day, I have arranged for you a "Grand Feast", then he paused. A few people exchanged questioning looks. Then the Captain spoke again. "You see", he said with a smile, "Unlike all of you, I saved my emergency rations. You will find them hidden inside the mattress in my quarters, enjoy!" "Also, you will find two bottles of wine, yes! real wine!" Before the video even finished several people had started shuffling as fast as the could to Captain Benny's quarters. The Captain wasn't lying, it appeared that he had indeed saved almost all of his emergency rations for some special occasion(s).
What a feast it was! To make it fair for everyone we took all of the rations and put them together to create a kind of giant stew. Each of us not only savored each precious spoonful, we cherished it as though it was a long lost loved one. It is not an exaggeration to say that each bite was chewed one hundred times or more and then held in the mouth for ten minutes or longer, swishing the pulpy liquid around and around. I even saw one person spit the food back into their bowl and then put it back into their mouth, over and over again. That seemed a little bit unusual to me, but everyone should enjoy their last real meal the way they want. As for the wine their was enough for everyone to have a shot glass filled to the brim. We talked about the "Great Feast" for months afterword...
Year 21 - [missing]
Year 22 - The Living Dead - (Mimarobe, MR) We've had to abandon almost the entire ship to conserve power, but basically were still
good alive... I still dream about Isagel and our son from time to time...
Year 23 - [missing]
Year 24 - The Sarcophagus - A few remaining survivors, including the Mimarobe, sit cross-legged in a dimly lit room. One of the few survivors speaks in a rhapsodic manner about the divine power of sunlight on Earth.
The Aniara slowly descends into final darkness...
Note: Years 25 through 5,981,406 are missing.
Year 5,981,407 - Lyra Constellation - The Aniara, derelict, frozen and devoid of human life - reaches the Lyra constellation and approaches a planet as verdant and welcoming as Earth was formerly. It quickly passes by continuing on into the endless void of space...
Date Unknown - The Warm Embrace - Ages come, Ages gone, Aniara soon embraced, engulfed by warmth and shine, newest born crimson light, Aniara far from home, aflame, not even ashes remain.
Epilogue: Year 100 - The Triumph of Hope - Despite the faliure of many valiant rescue attempts, including all attempts at communication, we remain confident that those onboard the Aniara knew that they were not forgotten. It is difficult to imagine (the speaker momentarily shuttered), the impossible challenges they endured. The story of their lives will remain in the collective hearts of humanity for all time. It is our hope that we will do right by them, now and in the future. We vow to never repeat the mistakes of the past... and that is why today, on the one hundredth anniversary since the Aniara was lost, we reach across time and space to bring their souls back home, home to this sacred place... We hereby consecrate this new park as the "Aniara Memorial Park and Museum Complex." As you walk through these doors, one of the first things you will notice is the "Heart of Aniara" on display. Along the walls are the names and pictures of the passengers and crew, their artwork, poetry, and most importantly, the stories of their lives, their hopes, dreams and wedding rings...
Aniara Memorial Plaque: We ourselves are the sorrow, we are also the joy, everything human is rooted in humanity, and no human being can escape humanity, not her hatred and her self-degradation, nor the joy she spreads, nor the love she forms.
Date [redacted] - Project "Devil's Javelin" - Status report #
[redacted] - As of today's date we are aware of a total of four "spear-like objects"
[redacted] and has contextualized that there are many more as yet discovered. Because of
[redacted] we now know they are made of
[redacted] and probably come from
[redacted] the first was found on Earth 86 years ago, at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. The second one was discovered by the crew of the Aniara
[redacted] years ago. The third was found here on Mars, near
[redacted] and moved to its present secure location. The fourth and newest one was found when
[redacted] the far side of the Moon.
[redacted] buried inside the
[redacted] impact crater. We have yet to discover the purpose of these "spear-like objects."
After
[redacted] to prevent another type of incident.
[redacted] have been able to gain access to the inside of the one here on Mars.
[redacted] only after
[redacted] and the entire team.
[redacted] using the most advanced technology and research methods. Dr.
[redacted] found
[redacted] which is impossible and should not exist. However, we must now come to grips with the horror that this new revelation about humanity has
[redacted] general public must never find out...
THE END?
Alternate ending 1 Year 5,981,407 - The Sarcophagus World Destroyer - As the ship Aniara descended towards the lush and green planet, the crew rejoiced. Or at least they would have if they hadn't all been dead. After thousands of millennia wandering through space, they had found a planet that was almost identical to Earth.
The planet's gravity was very strong, and the ship had become trapped in the planet's gravitational pull and started hurtling towards the surface.
The Aniara crashed into the planet with a deafening roar, causing massive destruction and sending out shockwaves that rippled across the surface.
As the dust settled, it became clear that the landing had been catastrophic. Plant and animal life had been completely obliterated, and the once green planet was now a barren wasteland. Soon not a single living thing was left to witness the horror and the devastation that had been caused.
Another beautiful, thriving, planet, a blue and green jewel, once teeming with life has been turned into a lifeless barren wasteland...
Alternate ending 2 Year 5,981,407 - The Second Chance Sarcophagus - As the ship Aniara descended towards the lush and green planet, the crew rejoiced. Or at least they would have if they hadn't all been dead. After thousands of millennia wandering through space, they had found a planet that was almost identical to Earth.
The planet's gravity was very strong, and the ship had become trapped in the planet's gravitational pull and started hurtling towards the surface.
One one-trillionth of a second after the Aniara crashed into the planet the mysterious spear-like probe on board finally awakened. A God-Like Power. In that one one-trillionth of a second the Aniara was scanned by the powerful probe and the events and lives of the crew had become known to it. At the same time, both the ship and the planet were saved by a force field of immense power. The ship was now resting safely on the surface of the lush, green planet. The probe had determined that the primitive life forms on board were worthy of a second chance at life and it was able to resurrect the entire crew and all the passengers from microscopic DNA that had been left. The Aniara was perfectly restored and even the Mima had been brought back. The crew and passengers awoke to find themselves in a veritable Garden of Eden, a paradise. Maybe this time things would go better and the mistakes from the past would not be repeated...
spotify recommended this song for me today, and it resonated so much with my experience of being in a relationship with an alcoholic in my early twenties. the feeling of watching your friends live ânormalâ lives, and not giving anyone the whole story in order to protect your partner. constantly trying to keep the relationship afloat and feeling like youâre the only one who cares. the codependent need to âfixâ the relationship/your partner.
i definitely recommend listening!
[Verse 1] I'm twenty-one The edge is razor thin Between being numb and feeling everything Good days only serve as relief again
[Pre-Chorus] Now I'm watching as I waste away my days And then It's a cross dissolve It's a scene I've played before And the leading role that I thought I'd hold Doesn't listen to me anymore
[Chorus] But I'm wearing his boxers, I'm being a good wife We won't be together, but maybe the next life I need him like watДr, he lives on a landslide I cry in his bathroom, hД turns off the big light I'm being a cool girl, I'm keeping it so tight I carry him home while my friends have a good night I need him like water, he thinks that I'm alright I'm not feeling human, I think he's a good guy
[Post- Chorus] But it's complex It's a complex
[Verse 2] Triangular, I can see them now Three points at which I let myself down I was just a girl, what's the excuse now? Too regular, this pattern I've been taking shelter in reaching new highs When I was nineteen I wanted to die
[Pre-Chorus] Now I just want to kill you But I don't want to paint you the victim And I talk a good game I'd die for just the promise you'd listen
[Chorus] But I'm wearing his boxers, I'm being a good wife We won't be together, but maybe the next life I need him like water, he lives on a landslide I cry in his bathroom, he turns off the big light I'm being a cool girl, I'm keeping it so tight I carry him home while my friends have a good night I need him like water, he thinks that I'm alright I'm not feeling human, I think he's a good guy
[Post-Chorus] But it's complex It's a complex It's a complex I'm a complex