Kohler courage 20 | | MotivationalPics

It’s like a grieving someone who isn’t dead I’ve known you for 2 1/2 years and I’m just suppose to forget you
I love you.
I love you.
Please say it back
I feel a drop in my stomach, like anxiety, like I’m waiting for something but the thing I’m waiting for I wont get back
You lied to me we promised we’d never break up.. but every says that don’t they
I can’t be your lover and I won’t be your friend
My lips are chapped, I don’t feel like showering, I don’t eat, don’t sleep, I have really noticeable bags under my eyes You caused this
I just woke up with a bit in my stomach full of anxiety and idk why
I love you so much but now I have to learn not to love you
Every time I think I’m healing I imagine you with someone else and I restart
I seen you in my dreams twice this past week.. and u only broke up with me a week ago.. how can I forget you
I haven’t eaten a single thing in a week.. why do I punish myself
If I wasn’t afraid to die I would be dead
They really mean it when they say everything reminds me of you.. I saw a street sign that said Quincy… that was the city where u left u the first time after my first trip seeing you.. I saw a building the at said fox valley something.. that’s your street name.. I ate at Cracker Barrel and in the store there was the disc air freshener thing that I bought you… when you first broke up with me my mom put on supernatural and out of all episodes the song that played was the song you first taught me on the guitar.. and when I went to the gas station my head snapped back at the liquid death.. your favorite water.. so stupid but everything does truly remind me of you
Mt friend was singing fireflies.. I hate that song and you use to torture me with that song all the time.. fun times huh
I know we’re apart but u couldn’t say happy birthday? I’m 20 now
I’m sitting outside of this motel sobbing when I’m on vacation to distract myself from thinking of you
I blocked you on everything and finally built the courage to delete every picture I could find of you…. About 2,000 didn’t think I would do it so soon but I can’t even see you any longer.. no matter in what form.. I love you.. you were my soulmate.. whoever you move onto, they’ll be so lucky..but.. goodbye

It’s like a grieving someone who isn’t dead I’ve known you for 2 1/2 years and I’m just suppose to forget you
I love you.
I love you.
Please say it back
I feel a drop in my stomach, like anxiety, like I’m waiting for something but the thing I’m waiting for I wont get back
You lied to me we promised we’d never break up.. but every says that don’t they
I can’t be your lover and I won’t be your friend
My lips are chapped, I don’t feel like showering, I don’t eat, don’t sleep, I have really noticeable bags under my eyes You caused this
I just woke up with a bit in my stomach full of anxiety and idk why
I love you so much but now I have to learn not to love you
Every time I think I’m healing I imagine you with someone else and I restart
I seen you in my dreams twice this past week.. and u only broke up with me a week ago.. how can I forget you
I haven’t eaten a single thing in a week.. why do I punish myself
If I wasn’t afraid to die I would be dead
They really mean it when they say everything reminds me of you.. I saw a street sign that said Quincy… that was the city where u left u the first time after my first trip seeing you.. I saw a building the at said fox valley something.. that’s your street name.. I ate at Cracker Barrel and in the store there was the disc air freshener thing that I bought you… when you first broke up with me my mom put on supernatural and out of all episodes the song that played was the song you first taught me on the guitar.. and when I went to the gas station my head snapped back at the liquid death.. your favorite water.. so stupid but everything does truly remind me of you
Mt friend was singing fireflies.. I hate that song and you use to torture me with that song all the time.. fun times huh
I know we’re apart but u couldn’t say happy birthday? I’m 20 now
I’m sitting outside of this motel sobbing when I’m on vacation to distract myself from thinking of you
I blocked you on everything and finally built the courage to delete every picture I could find of you…. About 2,000 didn’t think I would do it so soon but I can’t even see you any longer.. no matter in what form.. I love you.. you were my soulmate, my first everything but.. goodbye

Me (20M) and my girlfriend (21M) have been togheter for nearly 6 months. (This is my first post sorry in advance if its not good)
i thought we had a healthy relationship, until recently. I am mostly on call with her all day since were doing a LDR. But i havent seen any flaws because this is my first relationship ever. She has been in one relationship before me which was really toxic and lasted 3 years, and told me that she isnt very mentally stable.
It all went down last week. I was on call with her as usual. It was around 4AM and i was almost passing out. I told her that i was going to sleep and she said okay, we said our goodnights and hung up. 20 minutes later i get a call that wakes me up, she tells me that were over and i was really confused, i had to take some seconds to process what was going on and when i realized i bursted into tears. I asked her why she wanted to break up so sudden, she told me that i wasnt enough for her, she said that i was worse than her ex, and there was alot of boys out there who were better than me. The idiot i am begged her to stay, i apologized for everything and just put all this crap on myself. She finally stopped and acted like nothing had happened, while i was on the other side having a breakdown. things went normal after that until….
Days went by and it seemed really normal. I was having a conversation with her until i noticed that she was talking to someone else while talking to me. I asked her about it and she told me that it was this old friend of hers who had hit her up after a long time. I didnt see any harm in it until she started talking to him every day. Later i got a message from the guys friend, and he told me that i should be careful since he might try and hit on her. this triggered my trust issues. Finally i gathered the courage to tell her how i felt about this situation. I told her that i was not comfortable about them talking to eachother, and that i would like for her to cut contact with him. And she denied it, and started defending him. She said that i was a insecure little boy snd that i should trust her. I tried to atleast discuss with her but she only shut me down. I hung up and started crying and she called me again and acted like nothing happened. What should i do?
TL;DR im in a toxic relationship where my girlfriend destroys my feelings and acts like nothing is wrong.

I feel like the only roam ability that can be use for all types of roamer is conceal. The rest is too situational. Favor can only be activated if you have a healing ability. Dire hit only suitable for damage type roamers. And courage is just too underpowered. So here's my take on buffing them so it can be use for all types of roamer.
Favor - Active : Grant 500HP + 40% missing HP to nearby ally. CD : 70 second.
Dire hit - Active : Marked an enemy hero for 10 seconds. Marked enemy take 15% more damage. CD : 60 second.
Courage - Active : Increased ally magic defense and physical defense by 60 for 5 second and grant 20% movement speed. CD : 80 second.
So what are your thoughts on these changes?

So I'm someone with very low self-esteem. I grew up in a toxic household with Narcissistic abusive parents who verbally and emotionally demeaned me eveyday. I had no freedom and was socially awkward because of it. I was also overweight for most of my life, and this affected my confidence greatly. Because of all these things, I was never able to love myself. At the beginning of this year though, I finally decided to do something and changed my diet and hit the gym for the first time. It's been 5 months, and I managed to lose 20 pounds. I am physically fit now, and my friends tell me that I look good. The thing is, whenever my friends complimented me, I couldn't believe it because I feel like they were just flattering me or lying. Recently I started making a move on a girl. She's a coworker I've been friends with for a while. I have never been in a relationship before, but I worked up the courage to ask for her number and for us to hang out. She told me she was busy this weekend, but let's hang out next weekend. Ever since then, I've been feeling extremely insecure about her not really liking me and that she will flake on me. It doesn't really help that I am the one always initiating contact and she doesn't really respond to my text. So I've been up in my head and convincing myself it was going to fail, but my friend set me straight. He told me about all the good things going in my life, like my fitness, my job, my hobbies, and that I needed to think of myself as a prize instead of putting other people on pedestals. That's when I realized my feelings of insecurity weren't even about her, but about myself. I was so obsessed with her because I wanted someone to love me because I couldn't love myself. I started realizing all of the people who have been acknowledging my hard work, from friends to coworkers. I've been so up in my head and so insecure, that I was not able to see what other people saw in me. Ever since then, I'm starting to feel more confident and I don't even really care that she is not responding to my texts. I realized I can't love anyone else until I learn to love myself. It's still a struggle though. Even though my brain knows this, my heart doesn't and the negative inner voice still creeps at me. But I'm gonna start putting in the work, stop apologizing all the time, and try to see myself as the prize. Thanks to anyone who read through all this, I appreciate it.

Higher frequency energy is all about love, happiness, peace, bliss, abundance...etc
Lower frequency energies are anger, hatred, frustration, hopelessness...etc
Our current way of living or the system we live in, is designed to keep you in lower state of frequency so you're easily controlled and kept in the cage.
When you're in low vibration, you life is often difficult and you're not in touch with your higher self and also not in the way to realize your life's potential and purpose.

Good news is that if you find yourself in a lower frequency, you can easily shift yourself into higher frequency using this 3 easy steps.
1) Be aware of how you're feeling. Whether you're in low frequency or high.
2) Gain control of your nervous system by box breathing/square breathing technique
3) Use the power of affirmation to stop the negative thought patterns and rewire your brain to positive patterns

You can do this technique from anywhere and anytime. You can do it on a train or a bus, when you're stuck in traffic and just about anywhere else.
You will take control of your nervous system within 2-3 box breaths.

And from there you can use any affirmations to empower yourself.

I am followed by something positive you want to program.

For example,
I am in abundance
I am love
I am bliss
...etc

Next time you catch yourself in a negative or low vibrational state, use this technique and let abundance come to you. Thanks for watching!
Watch the full video here 👉 https://youtu.be/x8hBckxKuuw

AFFIRMATIONS USED IN THIS VIDEO
1) I AM IN CONTROL
2) I LIVE MY LIFE WITH PURPOSE
3) I DESERVE HAPPINESS
4) I AM AT PEACE
5) I AM LOVING
6) I AM OPEN TO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
7) I FORGIVE MYSELF AND FORGIVE OTHERS
8) I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE
9) I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY
10) I AM HAPPY
11) I AM AT PEACE
12) I AM IN CONTROL
13) I ATTRACT ABUNDANCE
14) I AM THE CREATOR OF MY LIFE
15) I CAN GET ANYTHING I DESIRE IF IT'S FOR HIGHEST GOOD
16) I AM IN FLOW WITH THE UNIVERSE
17) I AM AT PEACE
18) I AM LOVING
19) I AM KIND
20) I AM IN ABUNDANCE
21) I AM BLISS
22) I AM HAPPY
23) I AM GRATEFUL
24) I AM AT PEACE
25) I APPRECIATE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE
26) I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THE LESSONS
27) I GROW EVERYDAY
28) I ATTRACT ABUNDANCE
29) I AM PEACEFUL
30) I AM LOVING
31) I AM KIND
32) I AM WORTHY
33) I AM GRATEFUL
34) I AM SUCESSFUL
35) I AM CONFIDENT
36) I AM LOVING
37) I AM AT PEACE
38) I AM BRAVE
39) I AM FEARLESS
40) I AM COURAGEOUS
41) I AM A WARRIOR
42) I CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING
43) I HAVE UNBREAKABLE SPIRIT
44) I AM BRAVE
45) I AM COURAGEOUS
46) EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD
47) I AM GRATEFUL
48) I AM HAPPY

BONUS:
I LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

Higher frequency energy is all about love, happiness, peace, bliss, abundance...etc
Lower frequency energies are anger, hatred, frustration, hopelessness...etc
Our current way of living or the system we live in, is designed to keep you in lower state of frequency so you're easily controlled and kept in the cage.
When you're in low vibration, you life is often difficult and you're not in touch with your higher self and also not in the way to realize your life's potential and purpose.
Good news is that if you find yourself in a lower frequency, you can easily shift yourself into higher frequency using this 3 easy steps.
1) Be aware of how you're feeling. Whether you're in low frequency or high.
2) Gain control of your nervous system by box breathing/square breathing technique
3) Use the power of affirmation to stop the negative thought patterns and rewire your brain to positive patterns
You can do this technique from anywhere and anytime. You can do it on a train or a bus, when you're stuck in traffic and just about anywhere else.
You will take control of your nervous system within 2-3 box breaths.
And from there you can use any affirmations to empower yourself.
I am followed by something positive you want to program.
For example,
I am in abundance
I am love
I am bliss
...etc
Next time you catch yourself in a negative or low vibrational state, use this technique and let abundance come to you. Thanks for watching!
Watch the full video here 👉 https://youtu.be/x8hBckxKuuw
AFFIRMATIONS USED IN THIS VIDEO
1) I AM IN CONTROL
2) I LIVE MY LIFE WITH PURPOSE
3) I DESERVE HAPPINESS
4) I AM AT PEACE
5) I AM LOVING
6) I AM OPEN TO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
7) I FORGIVE MYSELF AND FORGIVE OTHERS
8) I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE
9) I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY
10) I AM HAPPY
11) I AM AT PEACE
12) I AM IN CONTROL
13) I ATTRACT ABUNDANCE
14) I AM THE CREATOR OF MY LIFE
15) I CAN GET ANYTHING I DESIRE IF IT'S FOR HIGHEST GOOD
16) I AM IN FLOW WITH THE UNIVERSE
17) I AM AT PEACE
18) I AM LOVING
19) I AM KIND
20) I AM IN ABUNDANCE
21) I AM BLISS
22) I AM HAPPY
23) I AM GRATEFUL
24) I AM AT PEACE
25) I APPRECIATE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE
26) I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THE LESSONS
27) I GROW EVERYDAY
28) I ATTRACT ABUNDANCE
29) I AM PEACEFUL
30) I AM LOVING
31) I AM KIND
32) I AM WORTHY
33) I AM GRATEFUL
34) I AM SUCESSFUL
35) I AM CONFIDENT
36) I AM LOVING
37) I AM AT PEACE
38) I AM BRAVE
39) I AM FEARLESS
40) I AM COURAGEOUS
41) I AM A WARRIOR
42) I CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING
43) I HAVE UNBREAKABLE SPIRIT
44) I AM BRAVE
45) I AM COURAGEOUS
46) EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD
47) I AM GRATEFUL
48) I AM HAPPY
BONUS:
I LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

Higher frequency energy is all about love, happiness, peace, bliss, abundance...etc
Lower frequency energies are anger, hatred, frustration, hopelessness...etc
Our current way of living or the system we live in, is designed to keep you in lower state of frequency so you're easily controlled and kept in the cage.
When you're in low vibration, you life is often difficult and you're not in touch with your higher self and also not in the way to realize your life's potential and purpose.
Good news is that if you find yourself in a lower frequency, you can easily shift yourself into higher frequency using this 3 easy steps.
1) Be aware of how you're feeling. Whether you're in low frequency or high.
2) Gain control of your nervous system by box breathing/square breathing technique
3) Use the power of affirmation to stop the negative thought patterns and rewire your brain to positive pattern
You can do this technique from anywhere and anytime. You can do it on a train or a bus, when you're stuck in traffic and just about anywhere else.
You will take control of your nervous system within 2-3 box breaths.
And from there you can use any affirmations to empower yourself.
I am followed by something positive you want to program.
For example,
I am in abundance
I am love
I am bliss
...etc
Next time you catch yourself in a negative or low vibrational state, use this technique and let abundance come to you. Thanks for watching!
Watch the full video here 👉 https://youtu.be/x8hBckxKuuw
AFFIRMATIONS USED IN THIS VIDEO
1) I AM IN CONTROL
2) I LIVE MY LIFE WITH PURPOSE
3) I DESERVE HAPPINESS
4) I AM AT PEACE
5) I AM LOVING
6) I AM OPEN TO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
7) I FORGIVE MYSELF AND FORGIVE OTHERS
8) I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE
9) I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY
10) I AM HAPPY
11) I AM AT PEACE
12) I AM IN CONTROL
13) I ATTRACT ABUNDANCE
14) I AM THE CREATOR OF MY LIFE
15) I CAN GET ANYTHING I DESIRE IF IT'S FOR HIGHEST GOOD
16) I AM IN FLOW WITH THE UNIVERSE
17) I AM AT PEACE
18) I AM LOVING
19) I AM KIND
20) I AM IN ABUNDANCE
21) I AM BLISS
22) I AM HAPPY
23) I AM GRATEFUL
24) I AM AT PEACE
25) I APPRECIATE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE
26) I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THE LESSONS
27) I GROW EVERYDAY
28) I ATTRACT ABUNDANCE
29) I AM PEACEFUL
30) I AM LOVING
31) I AM KIND
32) I AM WORTHY
33) I AM GRATEFUL
34) I AM SUCESSFUL
35) I AM CONFIDENT
36) I AM LOVING
37) I AM AT PEACE
38) I AM BRAVE
39) I AM FEARLESS
40) I AM COURAGEOUS
41) I AM A WARRIOR
42) I CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING
43) I HAVE UNBREAKABLE SPIRIT
44) I AM BRAVE
45) I AM COURAGEOUS
46) EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD
47) I AM GRATEFUL
48) I AM HAPPY

BONUS:
I LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

Hi All,
I have a question in which content I’m not very familiar, so I thought asking here would be a great start in looking for answers.
Long story short, my father lives in Granada, Nicaragua. It’s been over 20 years since I last saw him. I finally have the courage to reach out to him and give him a chance to meet me and my family. We live in the US.
We will be traveling to Panama in this month, and I gave my father a call letting him know if he’s okay with meeting us down in Panama and maybe restart our relationship after so long…
He says that currently, Nicaraguan Citizens are not allowed to get a passport therefore he can’t meet me in Panama.
I tried googling some of this to see if it’s true, but I can’t find any of this information. I honestly think that my father is bullshitting me and does not want to even try to travel down to Panama. However, I want to believe that he is telling the truth.
Anyways, can anyone here confirm if this is true. Are Nicaraguan Citizens really not allowed to leave the country by law?
Edit - Grammar

Higher frequency energy is all about love, happiness, peace, bliss, abundance...etc
Lower frequency energies are anger, hatred, frustration, hopelessness...etc
Our current way of living or the system we live in, is designed to keep you in lower state of frequency so you're easily controlled and kept in the cage.
When you're in low vibration, you life is often difficult and you're not in touch with your higher self and also not in the way to realize your life's potential and purpose.
Good news is that if you find yourself in a lower frequency, you can easily shift yourself into higher frequency using this 3 easy steps.
1) Be aware of how you're feeling. Whether you're in low frequency or high.
2) Gain control of your nervous system by box breathing/square breathing technique
3) Use the power of affirmation to stop the negative thought patterns and rewire your brain to positive patterns
You can do this technique from anywhere and anytime. You can do it on a train or a bus, when you're stuck in traffic and just about anywhere else.
You will take control of your nervous system within 2-3 box breaths.
And from there you can use any affirmations to empower yourself.
I am followed by something positive you want to program.
For example,
I am in abundance
I am love
I am bliss
...etc
Next time you catch yourself in a negative or low vibrational state, use this technique and let abundance come to you. Thanks for watching!
Watch the full video here 👉 https://youtu.be/x8hBckxKuuw
AFFIRMATIONS USED IN THIS VIDEO
1) I AM IN CONTROL
2) I LIVE MY LIFE WITH PURPOSE
3) I DESERVE HAPPINESS
4) I AM AT PEACE
5) I AM LOVING
6) I AM OPEN TO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
7) I FORGIVE MYSELF AND FORGIVE OTHERS
8) I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE
9) I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY
10) I AM HAPPY
11) I AM AT PEACE
12) I AM IN CONTROL
13) I ATTRACT ABUNDANCE
14) I AM THE CREATOR OF MY LIFE
15) I CAN GET ANYTHING I DESIRE IF IT'S FOR HIGHEST GOOD
16) I AM IN FLOW WITH THE UNIVERSE
17) I AM AT PEACE
18) I AM LOVING
19) I AM KIND
20) I AM IN ABUNDANCE
21) I AM BLISS
22) I AM HAPPY
23) I AM GRATEFUL
24) I AM AT PEACE
25) I APPRECIATE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE
26) I AM THANKFUL FOR ALL THE LESSONS
27) I GROW EVERYDAY
28) I ATTRACT ABUNDANCE
29) I AM PEACEFUL
30) I AM LOVING
31) I AM KIND
32) I AM WORTHY
33) I AM GRATEFUL
34) I AM SUCESSFUL
35) I AM CONFIDENT
36) I AM LOVING
37) I AM AT PEACE
38) I AM BRAVE
39) I AM FEARLESS
40) I AM COURAGEOUS
41) I AM A WARRIOR
42) I CAN GET THROUGH ANYTHING
43) I HAVE UNBREAKABLE SPIRIT
44) I AM BRAVE
45) I AM COURAGEOUS
46) EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR MY HIGHEST GOOD
47) I AM GRATEFUL
48) I AM HAPPY

BONUS:
I LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

Items Removed: Ring Of Health, Void Stone, Perseverance
Mekansm( Greaves now requires Holy Locket)
Pipe Of Insight( Replaced with Reworked Martyrs Plate)
Helm of Iron Will(Cores will just buy this as replacement for RoH.Items that requires helm has been replaced by chainmail)
Item Changes: Vanguard
New: Vitality Booster + Recipe that costs 1100 Gold
Guardian Greaves
New: Holy Locket, Arcane Boots
Active: Restores 175 mana + 15 HP/mana per charge in an aoe. Max 20 charges(Now you need charges to heal)
Cornucopia
Increased HP+ Mana Regen to 5/2.25(Old perseverance)
Increased cost to 1650
Changed or reduced prices of components that required Void Stone,Ring of Health,Perseverance.
Solar Crest:
New: Medallion of Courage, Wind Lace, Diadem,
Active: Now grants/removes 6 armor, 20 Movespeed, 10 all stats.
Martyrs Plate ( New Item)
New: Cornucopia, Cloak, Headress,
Active: Doubles magic resistance, Redirects up to 400 magic damage to the wearer in a 1200 AOE around the user. Buff lasts until you reach the threshold or 10 secs.(Limited sustain also now you have to be in the middle like a tank)

For context my supposed family consist of me (21 M), my childhood friend (20 M) and his boyfriend (20 M) who i consider my best friend the first time we met. So the three of us are unexpectedly close with all the shite that happened. Childhood friend and i had a bit of history where i was a bit of an asshole but im trying to reconcile that day by day and i still do. I get along with his BF really unexpectedly too we had the same interests and made it easier for us to bond. All three of us used to confide with each other. If those two are having a lovers tift i usually console the both of em, reassuring their asses, comforting them, hell covering for them. They do the same thing for me too. Whenever i get anxious, cry when im drunk, make a whole lot of bad decisions since i hate myself. They were there for me. Even with our history everything was good.
There are times where i was being dumb too. I make them mad but we always go back. We try to listen to each other, understand our boundaries and learn. We had a rule when one is mad we just let them walk away and wait since they always said no matter how we fuck up they’ll come back. And i……i always believe that cause they do. I say to them face to face that they are my chosen family. They fucking appreciated that notion. I show to them the way i show love and they do the same. The three of us are tight even though im kinda in a awkward position but they nevermind that.
Which makes this decision so fucking hard. Okay so one time i had a bit of a petty moment. I invited those two to hang for a while they agreed but that time, oof. I never felt so fucking alone in my fucking life. I was always ahead when walking, i never got into the conversations, i felt like a dog walking with their owner. If they just said they wanted to be on a date i wouldve just left in the instant. I would always respect their time. But damn i really fucking hated that feeling. Worse walking back to the place we were hanging out, i just went into the bathroom and when i looked back theyre gone. Not so much a goodbye and shit that hurt so much. They were so into each other worlds that i felt such a stranger to them.
So i apllied our rule took me a few days but i sorted myself out and just admit i am being difficult, id just adjust for them. But the moment i saw them and tried to talk to them. One was clueless about what was happening while the other one was in a mood andwasnt even looking at me. I stayed and holy fork it was just like last time but worse. My existence wasnt being acknowledge.
Its been a month. I was drunk a lot times that month and tried to talk to them the whole time since i cant muster up the courage to talk to them in person. But all those chat all those apologies and all those of times just wanting an answer. I was met with a read and silence.
Im not a family to them the way i see them. It hurts and im just thinking of cutting them since i also have some dignity and self respect i dont wanna keep on grovelling waiting for an answer even though how badly i want to go back.
Mind this is how i see it i dont know how those two are coping but they have each other for that. Theyre not gonna lose anything if i leave but i am losing people i genuinely love.

Hey Everyone. I'm a 35yo man from the UK, but I'm writing this from a hotel room in Benidorm. I'm looking out from the balcony at the hotel grounds, the palm tree leaves are dancing in the breeze, there are kids laughing and splashing in the pool and there are families and groups of friends eating, drinking and soaking up the Spanish sun.
I used to be like them but my mental health has been slowly but steadily declining for a long time. I've been the carefree child. I've been the shy teen, nervously sneaking glances at the pretty girls and wishing I could meet them. I've been the gym rat with a nice body, noticing those same glances looking at me but not having the courage to strike up a conversation. I've looked from the outside at the young couples in love and groups of friends and longed to be among them.
But now, after 20 years of trying to cure my "Shit Life Syndrome", I've run out of steam. I've given up. After all the effort I put in to synthesise new personal qualities, all I can do now is just sit here and feel the qualities I have seep out of my skin and evaporate away. Over time, I've noticed my social skills deteriorate; I'm not fun, funny or interesting anymore. I'm not charming, charismatic, witty...hell I'm not even pleasant anymore. I've never really liked myself but now I just despise who and what I've become.
When I still had hope, my greatest fear was dying alone. Now that hope is gone, I'm ready to welcome that fate.
Please don't be like me. This is what failure looks like.

So after 10 months of having all of the supplies, I finally worked up the courage and inoculated 6 days ago. I reread the master post just now about next steps and was surprised to see that it said to break and shake if about 20% seems colonized. I know I've seen a lot of posts about not doing that, yet on the master post it sounded like a definite step. Any advice is appreciated!

Arsenal 22/23 A Season Review Part 1 Of 3: August-World Cup: A Stunning Start.
The 2022/23 season is Mikel Arteta’s 3rd full campaign in charge of Arsenal and as well the 3rd of his managerial career. His 1st game in the hot seat came on Boxing Day of 2019, a 1-1 draw at Bournemouth which saw Arsenal drop down a place to 12th in the table. Just a few months into his reign and Arteta was the first high-profile figure in English Football to be diagnosed with Covid-19, the virus which drew the Premier League to a standstill for 3 months and the wider world for a much longer time. It was to empty stadiums which Arsenal played out the remainder of their season which eventually concluded on the 1st of August. An 8th-placed finish was the club’s lowest since 1995. However, there was joy to be found as there so often has been for Arsenal, in the FA Cup. In the one and only Covid FA Cup Final played in front of no spectators Arsenal came from behind to defeat London rivals Chelsea for their record-extending 14th FA Cup, after reaching the final with an unlikely triumph over Manchester City in the semis. Arteta’s first half-season had ended brilliantly and his first full-season started in the same vein with more silverware following as Arsenal defeated Premier League Champions Liverpool to win the Community Shield. Tough times quickly followed and Arteta may have been somewhat grateful for the empty stadiums, as it’s questionable whether the board would have held their nerve and kept faith with such a young manager through this dreadful period had the fans been inside the ground and able to voice their frustrations. On Boxing Day of 2020, not only did Mikel celebrate the 1 year anniversary of his first match in charge, he celebrated a 3-1 victory over Chelsea, his side's first league win for nearly 2 months. It was the first time Saka, Martinelli & Smith Rowe all started a league game together for Arsenal. It was to prove a seminal moment, but it wasn’t enough to move his team up from 15th in the table. It was never so bad again for Arteta and his Arsenal team, with the side eventually settling for a repeat of the previous season’s finish, again coming in 8th. Failure to win the Europa League (exiting the competition to Villarreal in the Semi-Finals, who were incidentally managed by Unai Emery, the manager sacked prior to Arteta taking the job) meant that Arsenal would be without European football for the first time since the 95-96 campaign. And the 21-22 season would begin horribly with Arsenal bottom after 3 matches in which they failed to score and conceded 9 goals. However as the season progressed Arsenal began to find some resilience, quality and self-belief. The sides upheaval came not coincidentally around the time club captain Aubameyang was stripped of that duty before being allowed to depart for Barcelona in the January window. Aubameyang had been the team’s standout performer when winning the FA Cup, but since those performances had seen him rewarded with a new bumper contract which made him by far the club’s best-paid player, his attitude and performance level had become a problem that needed to be dealt with.
More so than any win, it was actually a home defeat to Champions City which perhaps best demonstrated this new Arsenal which was beginning to emerge. They took City on and pushed them all the way only to eventually lose in the 93rd minute, whilst being a man down for the final half-hour with centre-back Gabriel being harshly dismissed. The fight was on with local rivals Tottenham for the final Champions League spot and it was firmly in Arsenal’s hands until a run of 4 defeats in 5 allowed Spurs back into contention. The Gunners appeared to retake control with a run of 4 straight wins before losing tamely away at Spurs and then Newcastle, in the end missing out by 2 points. Throughout the season Arsenal had spells of real high-quality football, and the fans had taken to the project with more passion and belief than they had in the final years of Wenger’s reign or during Unai Emery’s short-lived stint. In the end, though they missed out on the prize of Champions League football due to a combination of injuries to important players and the inexperience of a young group.
Despite the significant setback of missing out on a Champions League spot having held it in their hands for many of the season’s final months, Arsenal still entered the summer of 2022 with plenty of reasons for optimism. Bukayo Saka and Emile Smith Rowe had emerged as the real breakout stars of the prior season and Gabriel Martinelli wasn’t too far behind. There had been some clearly smart signings made by the club, in particular, those of Martin Ødegaard and Ben White, signed from Real Madrid and Brighton & Hove Albion respectively. The July purchases of Gabriel Jesus and Oleksandr Zinchenko for a combined 75M from Manchester City seemed yet more smart business, in them, they had picked up two quality players with four Premier League winners medals each, and both arriving aged 25 they seemed in the perfect age bracket to become big players for Arsenal not just for the immediate but as well the foreseeable future.
Jesus’ Arsenal debut came in a 5-3 friendly win over FC Nurnberg in which he scored twice. He followed this up with another in a 2-0 win over Everton as Arsenal continued their pre-season with a tour of the USA. Arsenal played 3 matches in America and won all 3, by far the most impressive being a 4-0 trouncing of Chelsea. The Gunners made it 5 pre-season wins from 5 when they returned home the following weekend to beat Sevilla 6-0 at the Emirates, a hattrick from Jesus meaning he had netted 7 goals in his first 5 appearances in Arsenal colours. Arsenal would get the Premier League season underway away at Crystal Palace, under the Friday night lights of Selhurst Park. No Premier League side would have envied them this difficult fixture, Arsenal had experienced just how tough it was 4 months prior when a 3-0 loss away at the ground began a torrid run of results for the Gunners. Arsenal had also begun the previous season away on a Friday night and come unstuck against newly promoted Brentford. Again Arsenal was straight back under the Premier League spotlight to see whether they had grown and matured from such damaging defeats last season. The Arsenal quickly proved they were up to the test, starting right on the front foot and keeping Palace penned back in their own third. Jesus immediately highlighted the new dimension he was going to bring to Arsenal’s attack, when his strength and then neat dribbling fashioned a great chance out of nothing, a chance Martinelli should have done much better with, his side-foot finish going the wrong side of the post with the goal gaping. The Brazilian would make up for it in the 20th minute when a corner was headed into the six-yard box by Zinchenko, who was picked out by Saka to deliver a free header. His head found Martinelli’s and from close range, he was able to notch Arsenal’s first of the league campaign. That was to be the only goal in the game for the next hour, but despite Arsenal’s slender lead they rarely looked in danger of being pegged back. On the instances that keeper Aaron Ramsdale was called into action, he was ready and dealt with Palace’s occasional threats soundly. The game was put beyond Crystal Palace in the 85th minute when Bukayo Saka’s dangerous ball across the six-yard box was headed into his own net by Guehi. This made certain of 3 richly deserved points for the Gunners.
Jamie Carragher for one was particularly impressed with the start Arsenal made to the game saying afterwards: “Arsenal played like a big team. When I say a big team, I’m talking about a Man City or Liverpool, a team who wherever they go, dominate the opposition. I felt like we were watching City or Liverpool in that first 20 minutes, half an hour.” Fellow Sky Sports pundit Gary Neville was more impressed with Arsenal in the second half saying: “The question mark about Arsenal will be whether they’ve got that robustness and resilience, physicality to get through that difficult 15 or 20 minute periods in away matches, and they got through that (tonight) and that impressed me.” Saliba was also singled out for praise with Carragher adding: “He looked the real deal. He adds something, we’ve always felt they were weak, at Brentford last season they got bullied and here last season, his physical stature will certainly help them in tough away games.”
Arsenal’s first home league game of the season was against Leicester City. The opening goal began with Jesus tormenting Johnny Evans tight to the touchline, after beating him he fed Martinelli who was able to get into the penalty area and find Xhaka, the Swiss international touched it first time back into Jesus who took a touch to steady himself then teased it over the head of Ward in the Leicester goal and into the net. It was an angle he had no right to try from, let alone score from but such was the Brazilian forwards confidence in front of the goal he fancied his chances from anywhere. The goal was nominated for Premier League goal of the month. Jesus got his second to double Arsenal’s advantage in the 35th minute, this time in a much simpler fashion. A corner across the six-yard box was not dealt with, a Leicester head on it only sped up its path to Jesus who was waiting to nod home from practically on the goal line.
Later in the first half, Leicester thought they had a way back into the game when referee Darren England pointed to the spot having judged Ramsdale to have brought down Jamie Vardy. However VAR advised him to check the monitor, and after re-watching the incident it was clear there was no contact made and the penalty decision was reversed. Leicester did still manage to half their deficit early in the second half though, a long ball was flicked on leaving Saliba in a difficult situation to deal with. Ramsdale was advancing but wouldn’t get there first and Vardy was waiting on the French defender’s shoulder, leaving him no alternative but to try and head the ball clear whilst facing his own goal. He only succeeded in diverting it into the net. This could have been a moment when the Arsenal crowd got nervous and frustrated. They had allowed a soft goal and their youngest defender was at fault. However the crowd immediately rallied behind Saliba and his teammates, he and the team needed help putting that mistake behind them and the crowd’s noise in the aftermath of conceding will have been reassuring to the players.
Demonstrating this, Arsenal went straight up the other end and scored, Ward made a meal of a cross, dropping it at the feet of Jesus who squared for Xhaka. The Swiss midfielder was being deployed in a new, more adventurous role where he was spending more time in the opposition box, he got his reward for this new tactic with a simple tap-in from right in front of the goal. Leicester would again reduce the home team’s lead to one however when Iheanacho found Maddison, who was able to shoot straight through Ramsdale. The young English keeper will have been disappointed at being so easily beaten from such an angle, his wide-open legs presenting the opportunity to the Leicester midfielder. Again Arsenal immediately responded to the setback by going up the other end and scoring again. This move began with Martinelli winning the ball back and feeding Ødegaard who moved the ball on to Jesus, who carried it forward before finding Martinelli who shot low from outside the box, he beat the outstretched Ward and hit the bottom corner, with the ball hitting the inside of the post on its way in. It had been a good day at the office for Arsenal and a great day for Gabriel Jesus, though despite scoring 2 and assisting the other 2 of Arsenal’s 4 goals, according to his manager Jesus left the field disappointed because: “he thinks he should have scored 4, that’s the sort of mentality you need. I wouldn’t like to play against him. He’s so mobile, intuitive, sharp and proactive in any moment or phase of the game.”
Arsenal next travelled to newly promoted Bournemouth. It took The Gunners just 5 minutes to take the lead and again it came from the phenomenal centre-forward play of Gabriel Jesus. A loose touch from White saw the ball launch high into the air, the Brazilian reacted first, beautifully controlling the ball whilst at the same time using his considerable body strength to hold off the Bournemouth midfielder, with exceptional balance he then dribbled around two other Bournemouth shirts until he was on the edge of the box facing their defence, with a lovely disguised pass he then fed Martinelli who was free to his left, his shot was saved but it fell straight at the feet of new captain Martin Ødegaard who was on hand to notch his first of the season. Rightfully though the praise went to Jesus with commentator Alan Smith saying: “You won’t see a better example of centre forward play than this.”
Ødegaard had to wait just 6 more minutes for his second of the season, a cross along the floor from White found Jesus who was free, his first touch wasn’t the best but it allowed it to set up nicely for the Norwegian to strike first time, which he duly did and the ball flashed into the net. Early in the second half and Arsenal had a third goal, with Xhaka setting it back to Saliba just inside the penalty area. Saliba struck it beautifully the first time, keeping his shot down under the bar and too perfectly placed for the keeper to do anything about. It was just Saliba’s second goal in senior football but he had finished it with the class and composure of a player who had scored 200. The strike drew Zinchenko to his knees, clutching his head in disbelief at the quality of the finish and unsurprisingly it was voted as Arsenal’s goal of the month. Jesus thought he’d netted Arsenal’s 4th but a VAR check ruled the goal out for offside, so the North Londoners had to settle for a 3-0 win in what had been an excellent away performance.
The Arsenal faced more newly promoted opposition the following week, this time back at home against Fulham for Arteta’s 100th Premier League game in charge. They would be without Zinchenko and Partey who had picked up injuries and were replaced by Tierney and Elneny respectively. The best chance of the first half went to Saka who got beyond his marker to face Leno one-against one, but he was unable to beat the keeper. It would be Fulham who took the lead however with Arsenal falling behind for the first time in the season. From the full-back position, Saka flighted a ball into Gabriel, who unnecessarily played himself into trouble. He never seemed to have the ball truly under his spell, and his second touch invited Mitrovic to try and take it off him, the defender then got his body positioning wrong, and failed to protect the ball allowing the forward to nick it from behind him and then the Serb was able to keep his composure and finish past Ramsdale.
Fulham’s lead lasted just 8 minutes, Martin Ødegaard lodging Arsenal’s response. There was a degree of good fortune about the goal, with a big deflection on the strike. But there was no doubt the Norwegian had deserved it, he was having an outstanding game with all of Arsenal’s danger coming through him. He was constantly creating, with inventive passes and dribbling runs. In this instance, a clever stepover had bought him the space for the shot. Ødegaard continued to lead Arsenal’s push for a winner with he, in particular, deserving to be on the winning side, and the winner did come though not until the 86th minute. Leno failed to deal with a corner, missing his attempted punch clearance and the ball fell at the feet of Gabriel who was able to gain the perfect redemption for his earlier error by securing all 3 points for his side. The goal kept Arsenal at the top of the Premier League as they remained the only team with a 100% record.
Arsenal finished August with another home game, facing Steven Gerrard’s Aston Villa. This presented Arsenal with a chance to win their opening 5 league games for the first time since 2004. Saka passed up a golden opportunity to give Arsenal the ideal start when Martinelli’s cross found him completely free at the back post, it was set up perfectly for Saka to hit on the volley, which he did but he got too under the ball and lifted it horribly high and wide from inside the six-yard box. An Arsenal opening goal felt inevitable however and it came on the half-hour mark when Emi Martinez could only push out an Xhaka shot as far as Gabriel Jesus, who was on hand to punish him. Martinez did go someway to redeeming himself later in the half with an excellent stop to deny a brilliant half-volley from Martinelli from 25 yards out.
Arsenal dominated the first half and continued their domination in the second but could not increase their advantage, it was instead Aston Villa who got the second goal of the game, in a somewhat controversial fashion. A corner from Douglas Luiz went straight into the net with Ramsdale unable to reach the ball due to his path being completely blocked by Kamara, who also limited the keepers’ movement by having both arms wrapped around his back. The goal stood but Arsenal cancelled it out in their own way, by going straight up the Villa end and retaking the lead. Saka coolly picked out Martinelli who struck it the first time on the half volley, Martinez clawed desperately at the ball but could not prevent it from going over his goal line and The Gunners were able to see the victory out. Arsenal’s player of the month was unsurprisingly Gabriel Jesus with 3 goals and 3 assists in 5 games. Arsenal’s maximum points after 5 games saw Mikel Arteta pick up Premier League manager of the month.
Arsenal started September with a chance to go 4 points clear of City in 2nd, after just six games. Standing in their way was Manchester United who would be hosting the Gunners at Old Trafford, a ground Arsenal had only won at once in the league since 2006, that one as well being without fans during the Covid season. Arsenal was boosted by the return of Zinchenko but had to start with their 3rd choice midfielder Sambi Lokonga for the Partey role after Elneny had followed the Ghanaian onto the treatment table. Regardless of the blow, Arsenal appeared to have made the ideal start when Saka threaded the needle and put Martinelli clean through on goal. The Brazilian finished brilliantly to give Arsenal the lead, but VAR advised the referee to have a look at a potential foul in the build-up. On review, the referee judged Ødegaard to have won the ball from Eriksen unfairly and chalked the goal off. The intervention made by Lee Mason on VAR was later judged by a Premier League review to be an incorrect one, the minimal contact not penalised in real-time by the ref was judged not to be a clear or obvious error. The review came too little and too late as far as Arsenal were concerned as they’d lost their lead and instead found themselves trailing at half-time after a good move from United culminated in a debut goal for Antony who finished past Ramsdale.
VAR’s intervention in the Arsenal goal was always likely to prove a vital one as remarkably United had not lost at Old Trafford when leading at half-time since 1984. This showed the size of Arsenal’s task going into the second half, but they continued to probe and ask questions of United and they got their equaliser on the hour mark when the ball broke to Saka in the penalty area after Ødegaard had looked to thread one through to Jesus. United dealt with that immediate threat but could only clear as far as Saka who slotted through the legs of Martinez for his first of the season. Arsenal looked to be in the ascendancy, but they were only level for 6 minutes. Overcommitting bodies forward left them without a midfield and after winning it back United was able to counter-attack with Bruno Fernandes who looked and found Rashford in behind the defence and he put United back in front. Arteta reacted immediately by looking to chase the game, giving a debut to summer recruit Fabio Vieira. The changes appeared to backfire however as Arsenal were left with even fewer defensive bodies on the field and in the 75th minute they were cut through once more, with Eriksen and Rashford both left in acres of space as United hit Arsenal once more on the counter-attack. It was a horrible goal for Arsenal to concede, it reminded of the worst years of Wenger with everyone so committed to attacking they had no thought for defending. Arsenal suffered their first defeat of the season going down 3-1.
There were some positives to take in how confidently and capably they had passed the ball around, however, United had defended their penalty area very well and counter-attacked effectively. The frustration for Arsenal was how they had helped them in that regard, by leaving key areas of the midfield devoid of players. Partey had been very badly missed, and to a lesser extent so had Elneny whose defensive intelligence would not have seen him vacate his position as often as Lokonga did. The third goal conceded was perhaps the responsibility of Arteta who had gone all out attack mode too early, given the counter-attacking success United were already enjoying.
Arsenal got the chance to put the defeat behind them 4 days later when they began their Europa League campaign. They were placed in Group A alongside PSV Eindhoven, Bodo/Glimt and FC Zurich, and would kick off against the latter away in Switzerland. Summer signings Matt Turner and Marquinhos made their competitive debuts, and Vieira would make his full debut. Arsenal did some counterattacking of their own in the 16th minute when Vieira found Nketiah who travelled down the wing before playing a great ball across the box which found Marquinhos who expertly finished the first time into the top corner. The hosts equalised on the verge of half-time however when Nketiah was judged to have committed an offence in his own penalty box. The death of the Queen being announced during the first half led to the unusual circumstance of a minute’s silence taking place before the second half. When it did kick off, Arsenal regained the lead in the 62nd minute through Nketiah who was found with a delightful ball by Marquinhos who had made a fine debut. That’s how the score remained. Arsenal would not be in Premier League action that weekend, with their home game against Everton being postponed due to the Queen’s passing. Also delayed was their home game against PSV the following week, so the team were not back in action until 10 days after the Zurich game when they travelled to Brentford.
Arsenal dominated the games opening and took a deserved lead in the 17th minute when Saliba’s header from a corner struck the inside of the post on its way over the line. Just shy of the half-hour mark and Arsenal had their second, again with a header, this time it was Gabriel Jesus who rose to meet Xhaka’s perfectly placed ball. The Gunners then got the ideal start to the second half, when Vieira, making his first start in the Premier League in place of the unavailable Ødegaard, struck a beauty out of nowhere from well outside the box for Arsenal’s September goal of the month. Arsenal was in cruise control, always looking like the more likely team to score whilst barely giving Brentford sight of their goal. In the final minutes, Ethan Nwaneri came on for his Arsenal debut, aged 15 years and 181 days he became the youngest player to ever appear in the Premier League. After the match, Brentford Manager Thomas Frank was one of the first to tip Arsenal for a title challenge saying: “I think they will do brilliantly. I think they compete for the title now.” Xhaka was the resounding winner of Arsenal player of the month picking up 83% of the votes. A once deeply unpopular player, his turnaround best exemplified the strides in the right direction Arsenal were taking.
After the international break, Arsenal returned to action in the North London Derby against hated rivals Tottenham. Arsenal went into the fixture just one point above their opponents. Spurs were content to let Arsenal have possession whilst aiming to contain them and spring counterattacks. They kept Arsenal at bay until the 20th minute when Thomas Partey shot from over 20 yards out and hit it so perfectly that Lloris couldn’t get so much as a fingertip to it, the ball flew past him into the net for Arsenal’s goal of the month. Spurs responded in the 31st minute however after a good counterattack between the front three of Kane, Son and Richarlison saw the latter presented with a chance to cross from inside the penalty area and Arsenal did not effectively deal with the situation, a loose touch from Xhaka put his side back in trouble and Gabriel was panicked into conceding a penalty. Kane stepped up and of course, scored for the 7th time from the spot against Arsenal. This sent the sides in at the break-level pegging.
Arsenal regained the upper hand early in the second half after a shot by Saka was spilt by Lloris to his centre-half Romero who, under pressure from Jesus, looked to return it to the French keeper. Lloris missed the ball, it travelled under his body and then Jesus reacted first to poach it home. Spurs hopes of drawing level for a second time were damaged when Emerson Royal was shown a straight red card in the 62nd minute for a stupid and unnecessarily bad tackle on Martinelli. Arsenal quickly punished this ill discipline getting their third 5 minutes afterwards, with Granit Xhaka rifling past Lloris. At this stage Conte retreated to avoid a hammering, he accepted defeat and took off his offensive players, bringing on defenders to ensure the score line didn’t get embarrassing and Arsenal saw out a comfortable 3-1 derby win. Arsenal next returned to Europa League action putting Bodo/Glimt to the sword with a 3-0 win, goals coming from Nketiah, Holding and Vieira, the latter after brilliant footwork in the box from substitute Jesus.
Next up for Arsenal was another tough test at home against Liverpool. With a win, Arsenal would return to the top of the Premier League. Arsenal had faced Liverpool 4 times the previous season, failing to win any, losing 3 times including twice at home. They had also failed to even score against Liverpool in their last 6 meetings with them, but they needed just 58 seconds on this day, with Saka finding Ødegaard, whose ball between Van Dijk and Alexander Arnold put in Martinelli who finished beyond Alisson. Liverpool recovered well from the nightmare start however and was the better team from that point until they got their deserved equaliser in the 34th minute through Darwin Nunez. It was Arsenal however who went into half-time with the lead when Martinelli led a brilliant counter-attack from a Liverpool set piece, finally taking out both Arnold and Henderson by cutting inside and finding an unmarked Saka who slid in to put his team back in the ascendancy.
Again Liverpool responded well, equalising for a second time early in the second half through Roberto Firmino. From that point on though Arsenal found another level, they searched feverishly for a winning goal, looking to pass Liverpool to death and calving many openings. The noise inside the Emirates had reached deafening decibels as the fans urged their team on. The golden chance came with just under 15 minutes to go when Thiago was judged to have caught the back of Jesus’s foot inside the penalty area, having been beaten to the ball by the striker. Saka stepped up and held his nerve, confidently dispatching an excellent spot kick. Arsenal held out for what was in the end a deserved win after an excellent second-half display. In a decision that had raised a few eyebrows, Tomiyasu had been drafted in for a first league start of the season to go into an unfamiliar left-back position, the move paid dividends as the Japanese international had a fine game up against Mo Salah. The result put Arsenal 14 clear of Liverpool who had endured a dreadful start to the season.
“These are broad shoulders, this is courage. A sporting moment in time. Bukayo Saka.. Such poise! such noise!” – Peter Drury as Saka beats Alisson Becker from the penalty spot.
Four days later Arsenal made it 3 wins from 3 in the Europa, with an away win in Norway on the artificial pitch of Bodo/Glimt. A sole goal from Bukayo Saka was enough after he got on the end of a one-two with Lokonga. His initial shot was blocked by a defender but the ball then deflected in after coming back off the Arsenal winger. Bodo calved out many good chances for themselves but was let down by woeful finishing, squandering chance after chance by blazing high and wide of the target. Arsenal then returned to Premier League action at Elland Road against Leeds, though 40 minutes behind schedule after a power outage just after the game had initially kicked off caused the game to need restarting once power had returned.
Again Saka was the only man to get himself on the scoresheet, his goal coming after Jesus had passed up a golden chance to open the scoring failing to hit the net from close range after Ødegaard had found him with a backheeled flick. Jesus attempted to lift the ball over the keeper, but he lifted it too high and it ended up over the crossbar. Arsenal did not let Leeds off a second time however and punished them after a sloppy cross-field pass from Leeds midfielder Rodrigo only found Saka who headed it into Ødegaard’s path. Ødegaard’s return pass then asked a lot of the winger, but his speed allowed him to reach the ball first. Saka was faced with a tight angle, but it didn’t phase him one bit and he picked out the top corner hitting it high into the roof of the Leeds net.
The second half was full of drama, first when Bamford thought he’d equalised but was instead penalised for a foul on Gabriel. The Leeds striker received a second chance though when Saliba was found guilty of a handball in the box after the referee had checked the monitor. Ramsdale guessed correctly in his dive, but in the end, he wasn’t required as Bamford’s penalty went wide of the post. Arsenal continued to suffer in the second half, struggling to cope with the Leeds onslaught and maintain their slender advantage. Through fatigue and pressure from the home side, Arsenal had lost all ability to pass the ball and could do little else but stay in their own half and try to defend. Ramsdale proved his worth to this Arsenal side with his best performance of the season to date, right when his team needed him most. It appeared as though Arsenal had got the job done when crazily they conceded a second penalty of the half in additional time. Patrick Bamford was nowhere near the ball which was safely back with Ramsdale when Gabriel was penalised for a kick out in the box on the Leeds forward. As well as a penalty, the Brazilian centre-back was also dismissed. However on a VAR review, it was clear that Bamford had fouled Gabriel first, barging him to the floor, so rightfully the decision was reversed and Gabriel’s red card was rescinded. Arsenal held on to a win they’d scarcely deserved and it proved an even bigger win later that day when City lost at Anfield meaning The Gunners stayed 4 points clear after 10 games.
The following Thursday Arsenal were back in action in the Europa League. They were originally scheduled to host Manchester City in the league that mid-week, but the Queens’ death led to the postponement of Arsenal’s fixture with PSV, and it was re-arranged to this game week. Arsenal battered their Dutch visitors, in the end mustering 25 shots to Eindhoven’s 4. As was often the case Saka and Jesus were the standout performers. The young English winger was unstoppable in his direct dribbling runs, unstoppable that is without resorting to fouling, which PSV defenders did time and time again after being skinned by Saka’s great ball control when running at speed. Jesus was similarly dangerous, doing his usual thing of fashioning chances out of nowhere with his quick thinking and somehow even quicker feet. In the end, though the deadlock was broken by Xhaka in the 70th minute when Tomiyasu found him in space 15 yards from the goal. He hit the shot down into the ground and it bobbled just at the right time to go under the keeper and past him.
Next Arsenal travelled to struggling Southampton looking to make it 9 straight wins across the Premier League and Europa. They started fast, and when Xhaka finished off White’s cross with a brilliant volley into the back of the net in the 11th minute, it looked like it would be a case of how many, as it wasn’t the first good chance Arsenal had created. For the first 20 minutes, Southampton couldn’t get out of their own half, Ødegaard cleverly found Jesus with a lifted return pass but his volley was straight at Bazunu in the Saints goal. Jesus was in again after a long ball flighted over the head of Caleta-Car putting the Brazilian clean through until the defender dragged him back using both arms. There seemed to be enough contact for 3 separate penalties in there, but unbelievably the referee Robert Jones didn’t point to the spot and nor did VAR intervene. One of the most inexplicable decisions of the season, and that’s saying something, meant that Arsenal went in at the break only a single goal to the good.
The Southampton defence must have felt encouraged from not being penalised inside the box, as the fouling continued on Jesus outside the box for much of the second half, Lyanco getting away with man-handling Arsenal’s striker time and time again, wrapping both arms around his body whenever the ball was anywhere near the Brazilian. Jones did not however ignore perceived ‘diving’ from Saka showing him a yellow card for simulation, even though there did appear to be some contact. A one-sided refereeing performance and poor finishing from Arsenal allowed the home team back into the game and they got the equalising goal with 25 minutes to go through Armstrong after a swift move cut through Arsenal’s defence. In the 78th minute, Ødegaard thought he’d put Arsenal back in front but Tierney had just carried the ball beyond the line before he was able to cut it back into his captain’s path.
The Gunners had to settle for a point and an end to their winning run, paying the price for not scoring more in the first half. As they began to tire in the second half Southampton calved out some good chances of their own, but there’s no doubt the visitors were also harmed by a dire refereeing performance. The dropped points cut Arsenal’s lead at the top down to two. Another away game followed for The North London side as next they travelled to Eindhoven. With 2 group games remaining, they needed just 1 more win to secure the top spot which would mean they progressed straight through to the final 16, without the need for a playoff game. However Arsenal’s performance was poor, PSV were the better team for 90 minutes and good value for their 2-0 win.