So I guess newsreaders can hide their emotions really well on TV. I’ve never seen Mary Markov in any state of heightened temper. The time she came down to help after I’d burned down the FunFlair building with Frankie was definitely a first in that regard. Then again, I’d never committed arson before either, so there were a lot of firsts that night. It’s been two days, but I can still see her angry face before me when I close my eyes. It frightened me a little.
After the fire had been doused by her staff, she gave Fran and me a look unlike anything I’d ever seen before. There was a homicidal rage in her eyes, her mouth had turned into a thin, steely line and the vein on her forehead threatened to pop. To my surprise (and admittedly relief), she turned the entirety of that wrath against Frankie Preston. “What in the world were you thinking?” she thundered, looming dangerously over the shorter man. “You committed a goddamn crime! If you were a normal person, I’d have to get you behind bars now!”
“Wait, I’m the privileged one here?” he snapped. “That woman tortured me! She brought me into this world by fault and proceeded to make me wish I’d never been born! And there was nothing I could ever do about it, because, oh, that’s right, I’m not a normal person! As you so endearingly put it. No one has a fucking clue what I am, so it’s okay for me to suffer, isn’t it?”
Mary opened her mouth to respond, but only ended up shutting it again. Then she focused her scrutiny onto me. “I thought you’d have known better.”
“I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but I knew what I was getting myself into. This was a contemplated decision.”
“Was it ever.”
I motioned for her to step aside with me, bringing a bit of distance between ourselves and my waiter. “I’ll make it up to you,” I began. “I will, but please, please drop this.”
“Did he force you to come?”
“You don’t actually believe he could force me into anything, do you?”
Mary Markov sighed. “I guess not. Look, it’s not like I don’t understand his grudge. And from what I know of Ms Wallis, she won’t be missed by many. I just wish it didn’t have to come to this. This means a ton of work for me.”
“It means so much more to him.”
Another sorrowful moan. Then, “Alright. I have your back. But don’t, um… encourage this kind of behavior in him, please.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “What are you going to do about the other doll?”
“She’s in bad shape—”
“Trash shape,” Fran chimed in from behind, having inconspicuously strayed closer.
“She’s in bad shape,” Mary repeated, pointedly ignoring him, “and currently unresponsive, but since you said she’s shown signs of sentience, I guess we’ll have to look into her. It prompts a very interesting question, after all.”
“Being?” I offered.
“Think about it. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the other two living dolls, Zion Boyd and Bunny Martell, but they came alive after Frank tinkered with them. And now there’s this one. Maybe your little boyfriend has some kind of yet to be explored ability, seeing as he was the first to gain awareness.” She fell silent for a pregnant pause, glancing between the two of us. “Something to ponder on your drive home. Which you will be starting now.” She made a shooing motion with both her hands.
The message being quite clear, Frankie and I got back into his car. The ride was quiet at first, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable stillness. It felt like a weight I didn’t know I’d been carrying had been lifted. I stared at the server’s profile, alternately framed by nightly darkness and moonlight, drinking in every little detail about it. It was hard to believe that someone as cruel as Philomena Wallis had created something this breathtaking.
“So you’ll probably wanna talk about all of this, huh. About what I am, I mean.” Frankie’s voice was light and relaxed with only a hint of uncertainty gnawing at it.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Aren’t you surprised? A little… disgusted, maybe?”
“I always knew you weren’t human. Beyond that, it doesn’t really matter to me what you are.” I shrugged. “I mean, I’d be fine if you were human, too. I’d be fine if you were a squonk.”
“What’s a squonk?”
“I don’t know, I just made that up. Anyways, did you actually think I would be grossed out? Did you?”
He smiled. “I guess not. This’ll sound crazy, and it’s hard to explain, but it’s like I got a voice in the back of my head constantly telling me that… that I should wash myself again or that I ought not to touch you. I suppose it’s not really a voice; it’s only these thoughts that kind of keep pushing into my mind even though I should know better. And I do know better. But that doesn’t stop the thoughts.”
I nodded slowly. “I think I understand. I can’t tell you how much I disagree with that voice, though. You’re the cleanest person I’ve ever met and if I could, I’d live in your hair like a cootie."
"That's how close you want me?"
"Yup.”
He let out a soft laugh. “I’m really, really glad you came with me. If there’s ever anything you need, I’ll do it. No matter what. If you want to bury a body, I’ll dig the hole.” He paused. “Actually, we should sell any corpses you might have. It’s wonderfully lucrative.”
I shot him a quick smile before turning to stare out the window with knitted brows. “What do you think about what Mary Markov said? About you being able to make the dolls come alive somehow.”
“I don’t know if there’s anything to it. I don’t remember doing anything special with them. Zion and Bunny were just standing around when I turned them on, and they came to within minutes. I figured they were sentient before, and it was simply repressed. I woke up randomly, too, after all.”
I hummed pensively. “I wouldn’t be so sure.”
“Well, if you’re implying it’s some kinda superpower, then that’s probably the most useless one ever.”
“We don’t have to talk about this now,” I told him, to which he gave me a grateful half-grin.
Per my request, he dropped me off at Nettie’s place. I kissed him goodbye on the crown of his head and told him we’d text the following day. He thanked me again and I watched him drive off before going up to ring the doorbell, mentally preparing an apology for showing up at five-thirty in the morning. My savior human was surprisingly quick to answer, giving me an indulgent wave as soon as I stumbled over my first “I’m sorry”.
“It’s fine,” she muttered. “I hadn’t gone to bed yet.”
I gave her an incredulous look and she sighed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her normally soft, rounded cheeks were sunken, her eyes oddly dull. Judging from the angry red marks, she’d apparently been chewing on her lower lip with some force. It was only then that I took note of the sweater she was wearing. A faded, shaggy piece of fabric that clearly hadn’t been washed since Kit Sutton had given it to her on the cliff that day. I felt a sharp pang in my chest and pulled her into a hug as soon as I’d stepped inside with her.
She stifled a sob when she wrapped her arms around me in return. “It’s hit or miss with me when it comes to sleep lately,” she confessed in a brittle voice.
I swallowed. “I’m working on it. I’ll get her back for you, I have a lead. Is there anything I can do in the meantime?”
“Not really. I just gotta distract myself ‘til the morning comes, I’ll be fine then.”
“Then I’ll stay up with you.”
It was thus decided. We sat down in the living room for a while, then went out into the garden to watch the sunrise. My savior human had taken her place in her mother’s chair while I whipped up some chocolate chip pancakes (one of her favorites) for her for breakfast. I carried them out to her on a little plate with a cup of tea, and for a moment, her expression cleared up for a beam of happiness to shine through. “We should do something productive,” she remarked, and I gave her a questioning tilt of the head. “I’ve been thinking,” she went on. “Isn’t it weird how all these years, you didn’t hop dimensions once, and now all of a sudden it keeps happening?”
“Don’t worry about that right now.”
“I always worry, baby girl. It’s my natural state of being.”
“It shouldn’t be,” I insisted. “It feels wrong. You have your own problems, I don’t want to add to that.”
“Seriously, that’s not what’s happening here. This is just how I keep my mind off… things.”
I rolled my lips together. Blue-haired things, probably. “You deserve so much better. You deserve this to be way, way easier,” I stated.
“That’s a nice thought. But it doesn’t change anything right now. You can control your body, can’t you? Your teeth and tentacles?”
“Yes. It happens automatically when I get scared sometimes, but for the most part, I’m actively doing it.”
“Then how about if we could somehow start getting you on top of your dimension jumping, too? It would be a tad risky and I’m not sure how to go about it exactly, but it would be far better if you could toggle it. You’d be able to stop yourself from hopping when you don’t want to, but maybe you could venture into these other spaces for exploration purposes, too.” The words spilled out of her like a babbling little waterfall as she plucked apart one of her pancakes and stuffed them into her mouth. “Because there has to be more to this. I just have that feeling. So I reckon we try and find a way to work with this. What do you think?”
“Sure. I guess I’d be… open to that.”
“Really? I-I don’t want to pressure you…”
“No, no, it sounds fine! I wanna try!”
“Okay!” She set aside her plate, rubbing her hands in blatant excitement. “So it happens when your flight instinct kicks in, correct? How about we get you in that headspace on purpose?”
“How would we do that?” I asked cautiously.
When I was sitting cross-legged on the ground among my savior human’s countless flowers with my eyes closed and her hand in mine, that question had pretty much answered itself. Nettie Peterson was leading me in a “guided meditation” consisting of several intrusive queries about my first ever jump—the most terrifying moment of my entire life.
“The thing, that floating maw, what did it look like?” she began, referring to the creature that had ended it all.
I furrowed my brows. “It didn’t look like anything,” I replied meekly. “Mostly, it was just… really big and dark.”
“Dark? What color dark?”
“Black, I guess. It swallowed the light.” A pulsating pain began to flare up behind my forehead. “It was nothing. It was like a giant ball of nothing.”
“You told me once that it made a noise,” my best friend went on, her fingers grasping mine a little tighter. “Do you remember that sound?”
I winced. “Yes.”
“Describe it.”
“It was more like a vibration that went through everything,” I mumbled. “The ground was shaking. And then we all screamed.”
“Did you see inside its mouth?”
“No. There was nothing inside of its mouth. There was nothing inside of it. Just emptiness.” I shifted my weight. Images were flashing in front of my inner eye, filling the darkness behind my closed lids. My breath had caught in my throat and it felt like ants were crawling beneath my skin. “And then all of us were suddenly… nothing, everything was gone and at that last moment, everyone was so terrified. They all knew it was over. All of them.”
At first, I thought Nettie Peterson’s hand was trembling. Then I realized it was my own, shaking hers through the contact. For a moment, my body felt feather-light, but not in a relaxing or comfortable way. It was as though I was afloat, out of control and weightless. I didn’t like it. “Can we stop?” I choked out.
“Of course,” my best friend replied, gently squeezing my fingers.
I let go of a deep breath, blinking my eyes open. Across from me, Nettie was giving me a soft but deeply apologetic smile. “Did I push you too far?”
“It’s not your fault. I think I simply wasn’t ready for this.”
“I understand. Let’s go inside and make some more of those—” She stopped mid-sentence. She’d been pointing her chin at the plate of pancakes resting on her chair, only to see that it had changed.
The food I had just served her half an hour ago had turned into a moldy, rotten mess. A couple flies were circling it, emitting a low, almost melodic buzz. My savior human and I traded wide-eyed glances, disbelief, fear and excitement mirrored in our eyes. We then got up to take in our surroundings. The flowers surrounding us weren’t the same anymore. They were either withered or deathly pale; formerly pink, yellow and red petals had become either light gray or iridescently white. Thick, soupy fog was hanging over everything, it was denser and heavier than any we’d ever had in town before. The mist seemed to have consumed all the noise and color in the world, leaving only cold, oppressive silence.
Nettie was the first to regain speech. “It worked! Oh my Lord, it actually worked.”
I clasped her arm and she immediately fell silent. Wordlessly, I pointed at the rolling fog on the other side of the garden fence. There was something moving within. An enormous, caterpillar-like shape soundlessly dragged itself through the air, its long body slowly moving along across the street. My savior human’s jaw had dropped, her mouth wide open as she followed my gaze. Neither of us moved a muscle as we waited for the creature to pass by. Thankfully, it didn’t seem to take note of us at all. I didn’t want to imagine what could happen if one were to draw its attention.
“This is… I don’t believe this,” Nettie breathed, running a hand over her mussed coils. “You did it. We’re not home anymore.”
“What do you propose to do now?”
“Keep our heads low and try to find out anything useful, I’d say.”
I nodded and she folded her hand into the crook of my arm. Together, we proceeded through the open door back into the house. Wammawink and Nettie’s old convertible were standing in their garage, a pool of motor fluid surrounding each vehicle. The paint was peeling from the car doors, matching the way the pictures and photographs around her house had faded.
The food in her kitchen had morphed into a self-contained ecosystem. Bugs were crawling up and down the walls and ghostly white mice scuttled across the floor with shocking brazenness. There was no trace of human life anywhere in sight. We stepped out the front door and into the street only for Nettie to grab me and fling me to the ground next to her. We flattened ourselves against the curb as another one of the gigantic caterpillar-figures snaked its way along just a couple feet above our heads. I craned my neck to give my best friend a sidelong glance out of terrified, saucer-sized eyes. I could see my reflection in hers as she pressed a finger to her lips. I gave her a tiny nod.
Finally, it was gone again and we helped each other to our feet. Nettie brushed down her sweater with great care before tilting her head at me as though asking if I was alright. I gave a reassuring, albeit wavering smile which she returned with a slight strain to her brow. We linked arms again and started walking down the street. The whole dimension seemed to be a mirror image of our hometown, only deader. Aside from the flies and vermin, there seemed to be very little life. All of the houses we were so familiar with looked decrepit, old and empty. Walls were crumbling down, roofs looked to be seconds away from caving in and most windows were shattered. It was impossible to see ahead through the mist, but we managed to hide from the flying worm-things everytime they came up.
We were starting to become a little frustrated seeing as our exploration yielded nothing of note. There was hardly anything to be seen safe from the depressing alternate version of our neighborhood. On top of that, the clammy chill that hung in the air along with the fog was making us increasingly uncomfortable. Finally, we decided we should try and get back home. We returned to Nettie’s garden where we crouched down once again, hand in hand. Before my savior human could begin her questioning though, the ground beneath us suddenly began to shudder, heaving as if moved by some kind of subterranean pulse.
Nettie Peterson and I snapped our eyes open at the exact same time, mouths agape in bewilderment. And then we saw it. It was in the sky, partially veiled by the thick fog yet impossible to overlook. It became darker and darker as it neared, its indescribably large form seemed to envelop the entirety of the heavens. It had been five years since I had last seen it, but I recognized it immediately. Not that it had any features I could have recognized. I remembered though, and in that moment, it all came flooding back to me. The breeders that threw themselves in front of their young, the cries that echoed across the plains together with the stones and soil sent rolling by the earthquake. I caught my best friend’s gaze, read the terror in it and knew that it was just as immense as my own. Her lips were parted in an ear-piercing scream that ended up being drowned out by the hovering roar of the Devourer Of Worlds.
I squeezed her hand so tightly I feared I’d snap her fingers. And suddenly, before I knew it, all was silent again. The air was warmer, filled with the fragrances of countless different flowers. The early morning sun was shining down on us, and it felt like it was heating up my very core. We were back. In the blink of an eye, Nettie had thrown her arms around me, pulling me close to her chest.
“Baby girl,” she whispered.
“That was it,” I rasped out. “That was it.”
“I know.” Withdrawing just an inch, she wiped a thumb over my eye, careful not to scrape me with her nail. It was only then that I realized I was crying. Tears were streaming down my cheeks, noiseless and hot, dripping from my chin and wetting my chest.
"You're not hurt, are you? Look, it's going to be alright. You just take it easy now. We'll go inside, have some tea or coffee or whatever and calm down, a-and then we can figure this all out. Come on. Get up. Easy, easy now." She hugged me even as she pulled me to my feet and into the house alongside her. "So tea. How about strawberry? Or Turkish apple? Or classic chamomile? Something for the nerves, at any rate."
"Wait," I stammered, interrupting her monologue. "What about you? Are you okay?"
"Oh, no. No, no, no, far from it. I'll sign us both up for therapy once I find the time, but for now, tea! Tea."
"Nettie, please don't strain yourse—"
"Listen here, I'm gonna make you some goddamn tea and we'll sit down with it and it's gonna be warm and nice and we'll forget all about this. I'm here. I can take care of you. You do not need to be scared." She pressed her face close up to mine, her voice sharp and a mite threatening.
"I'm sort of scared of you right now."
"Oh." She drew back. "Pardon. I'll put on the tea." A forced, crooked tune tumbled from her lips as she went ahead into the kitchen.
We've both simmered down a little since the incident. It's been two days now. I used most of that time to unwind and recover from what had to be the single most eventful night of my time here on earth. Keep in mind, this happened the morning after the fire. The calm is not going to last much longer, though. I don't mind that, I just need to brace myself.
Rhonda's been in touch.
X
1
2: deadbeat roommate
3: creepy crush
4: relocation
5: beach concert
6: First date
7: Temp work
8: roommate talk
9: a dismal worldview
10: warehouse
11: staircase
12: explanation
13: hurt
14: hospital
15: ocean
16: diner
17: government work
18: something in the caves
19: shopping cart
20: olms and Jewels
21: long hair
22: recruitment
23: waitresses
24: dollhouse
25: burning plastic

As always, thank you to u/SpacePaladin15 for the wonderful universe that is NoP
Thank you to u/cruisingNW for proof reading and helping me out of some hang ups, you're the man! Honestly LoM wouldn't have gone very far without him! If you haven't you should absolutely go read Foundations of Humanity! It's very good.
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Memory Transcription Subject: Christopher A. Dewey, Human Merchant Sailor, Venlil-Human Exchange Participant
Date [Standardized Human Time]: August 29th, 2136, Very Early Morning.
We got a message an hour ago from Videk, ordering us to report to Hangar-08 to start On-Stick training; and to bring our bags! I guess the guy had wanted to get as much out of the day as he could. That or he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.
Videk met us at the doors to the hangar, a small travel bag sitting on the floor by his side, tail swaying slowly as he watched us approach. “Good Waking, Taisa. Good Waking… Christopher.” An improvement, I’ll have to ask Taisa about that talk they had.
“This,” He continued, motioning to the shuttle parked in the hangar behind him with his tail. “Is your training shuttle: registration C1-0V3R-HR-EX.Your first On-Stick training assignment will be to follow appropriate lift off and departure procedures, plot and follow a course to The Capitol on Venlil Prime, seek permission to land from the proper authorities, and land safely and legally following those permissions. All of this, while following proper procedure and regulations. All of this will be graded.”
As he speaks the door behind him slides open, revealing a broad hangar bay, heavy clamshell doors dominate the far wall. At the center of the bay sits a stout craft painted white and black, a pair of stubby wings jutting from its sides flowing into a pair of engines flanking a singular tail. Venlil script is painted at the root of the tail and on the top of the rear ramp.
“Upon arrival in the Capitol you will have some paperwork to do at the U.N. offices with regards to your habitation. I will need to pick up some equipment from the training facility at the landing fields. After our respective errands, let’s say half a claw, we will meet up back at the shuttle and from there you will be plotting an in-atmosphere route to Shadetree, Sunward of the Capitol, to drop me off and wait for me to install and calibrate the remote instructing equipment. Once that is completed, you will plot another in-atmosphere course to Heartwood River, concluding this paws evaluations. Do you have any questions?”
I shook my head, and Taisa flicked her ears, in what I believed was a negative. “Very good, load your stuff and we’ll begin immediately.”
After a few minutes of finding places to tie off our belongings and get everything situated, I sat in the pilot’s seat and ran through the pre-flight check with Taisa. We caught a pair of faults in the starboard fuel delivery units. Videk seemed pleased we had caught them, and that he hadn’t had to tell us they were there. I could feel a slight smile tug at the corner of my mouth.
Devious little bastard makes for a damn good instructor.
Once the preflight was complete I closed the rear ramp and hailed the flight control tower. “Tower this is shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX requesting clearance for departure, place us enroute to Venlil Prime with planned landing zone of Capitol Shuttle Field 13-Bravo.” A Human voice came back over the line, a bit of mirth in their voice. “Shuttle, Tower, you are clear for departure, opening bay doors now. Good luck and Godspeed.”
The doors to the station hangar yawned open, filling the viewport with the void and all its stars beyond as I slowly brought the shuttle off the hangar floor, easing it out through the opening. I reached over to the nearest display and opened the Nav-computer interface, plotting our course to VP, and then on to the Capitol landing fields. Once I was confident I had the proper navigation commands and sequences set I called over Videk to have him review my work.
He gave me a quick flick of his tail before saying “Looks good, Christopher. Feel free to spool and jump when you’re ready.”
Videk’s approval given, I reached over and pushed forward on the throttles, engaging the drive and hurtling the shuttle into subspace.
It. Was. Beautiful. Everything seemed to stretch, stars in the distance turning from pinpricks of light into brilliant colorful streaks, lengthening as we bounded through the void. Lines of light far off in my periphery zip past like tracers as the ones before me feel as if they’re pulling me in with their kaleidoscope of color. The hum of the shuttle fell into the background while I became entranced by the light show in front me, picturing myself on the set of one of those old sci-fi shows I would watch with Pa on the weekends. The Future my ancestors had imagined was Here, right before my eyes and at the tips of my fingers! This view was… Hypnotic. The simulator couldn’t hope to do it justice.
Two hours. That was it.
Two hours to travel what, until very recently, would have been considered an insurmountable distance for Humanity. Dropping from Sub-space into the proximity of Venlil Prime was another astoundingly brilliant view. Scorched white deserts flowing into massive swathes of golden sands cut by the occasional streak of blue before blending into a beautiful verdant mix of turquoise and green fields, with vast lakes and rivers dotting the forests, flowing into wide marshy wetlands. Before finally, the curve of the planet fell away from its star, allowing the fading sunlight to showcase glittering city lights dotting the countryside.
The thrusters burn to life, crackling and thrumming with power as they drive us forward through the void to the beautiful marble before us. I flip two switches on the overhead, tapping the leftmost display to call up the local channel list and place a hail to the Capitol’s landing fields to request clearance and pad assignment. A quick ping, signifying my hail had been acknowledged, chimed over the console speaker.
“Capitol Shuttle Field 13-Bravo this is Shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX requesting clearance for landing at an available pad of convenience.” “C1-0V3R-HR-EX, you are cleared for landing, 13-Bravo, direct to pad Charlie-5.”
The Flight through the Void may have had some feeling of familiarity and nostalgia to the old Sci-fi shows at home; but in-atmo had the far better view! Rolling turquoise fields and towering thick trees, with their canopies tilted greedily towards that unmoving sun, falling away to a gargantuan metropolitan area, its architecture entirely alien yet still somehow familiar. Massive skyscrapers soar to touch the sky, reflecting light in brilliant angles and colors, the space below them populated by squat sturdy buildings and deep black roads. The Venlil going about their lives below look like ants as I ease off the throttle, taking the speed down to prepare for the final approach. The display on the viewport flags my landing area with a small pip guiding me in, slow and easy.
The cabin jostles slightly as the ship settles onto its landing gear. Videk seemed impressed; his ears up as he tapped away at his data pad! Taisa’s tail sways happily back and forth as she runs through the diagnostics of the landing, checking system status reports.
“Looks like we’re all clear. Videk do you have a time we should try and be back by?” Taisa beeps, showing the flight instructor the console in front of her.
“I just need to pick up the equipment and get it linked up, that should only take about a half a claw. Walking to and from the landing field and the U.N. Offices should put you at about the right time.” Videk turned away and made for the ramp; Taisa’s talk helped, and he was clearly trying, but he was still a bundle of nerves around me. His fur was so puffed out it looked like he was holding more static than a thunderhead.
As we stepped out of the artificial gravity of the shuttle I felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. My first step faltered making me stumble down the ramp and bounce off the… soft pavement? “Oh, forgot about that.” Videk winced sympathetically, “Our gravity is about twenty percent more than earth’s, so be careful. Falls are likely to hurt a little bit more here.”
“Would’ve been nice to know first, Videk.” I groaned, rolling myself over and sitting up, luckily the visor hadn’t fallen off; I would need to add one of those new back braces and some knee compressors to that order of stuff from home. “Do you know where the U.N. Offices are? Or should we just ask around to find our way there?”
“I do not, but you should be able to get directions on your pad. I trust the two of you can figure it out, so I’m going to go get the equipment I need. I will wait for the two of you with the shuttle once I am ready.” With a parting flap of his ears, Videk turned and walked away; flicking the tip of his tail back and forth as he did.
“Alright then,” I grumbled, forcing myself up off the pavement, swaying as I found my new equilibrium. “let’s get going. Can you pull up those directions?” She nodded slightly, flicking her ears forward. “Got them up already! You alright there?”
“I’m fine.” I grunted, rolling out my shoulder a little. “Feels like I weigh a quarter ton, but I’ll get over it with time. Lead the way.”
After a few minutes of walking we were off the landing fields and into the streets of the city. My boots sinking into the pavement a little with each step, just like on the landing field. “Taisa, what is this stuff? I figured it was just to make landings a little softer on shuttles but it’s everywhere! Looks like pavement but it gives like rubber; why are your roads like this?” “Anti-stampede concrete.” She stated, matter of factly, like that meant literally anything to me. My silence must have tipped her off that I wasn’t getting it as she focused one eye on my visor. “Oh… I guess Humans wouldn’t need that. It’s to help reduce stampede fatalities, it’s the same reason the roads and buildings have gentle curves, no sharp angles.” Looking around at the way the groups of Venlil flowed through the streets I realized she was right, what I had thought was a futuristic aesthetic design was just to keep people from killing each other against walls or trampling them into the ground when they got scared. How strange… and slightly worrying.
“Weird, that sounds like some crazy wonder material. Bet we’d have a bunch of uses for it back on earth.” My eyes watched the tips of skyscrapers towering above us, “How far out does it say we are?”
“Only a little further, about one and a half kilometers.” She responded, a slight pant in her voice. I wasn’t in the best shape, cardio wise, but I couldn’t imagine getting winded after 10 minutes of walking; guess all that talk about the Venlil having less stamina than us was right.
The U.N. Office complex was a series of giant flowing buildings built on a large park area. It wasn’t any design I had ever seen so I figured it had to have been an existing complex that just got turned over to the U.N. for their uses.
Passing through the heavy glass front doors we found a wide receptionist's desk, with several Humans sitting behind it, answering questions and directing people where they needed to go. One of the receptionists, a short dark haired woman with a visor obscuring her face, beckons us over. “Hello! How can I help you today?” “H-Hi!” Taisa beeps excitedly, her tail swaying behind her confidently as she takes a deep breath and straightens her back. “We’re part of the ‘integration’ experiments, we were told we need to fill out some forms for habitation. Where do we go to do that?” “Oh! Congratulations! That would be Suite 216-B” The receptionist answered, excitement in her voice as she pointed to a room on the map infront of her.
“Thank you!” Taisa responded, turning to head up the stairs behind the receptionist's desk. Halfway up the stairs she swiveled her ears over to me before saying. “Sorry, I figure if I’m probably going to have to work with Humans other than you for this I should try and at least work on being able to talk to them.” “It’s alright,” I chuckle, patting her shoulder. “That’s a great idea and you’re doing alright!” Walking down the hallways we saw prints of landscapes from Earth, Machu Picchu, the Uyuni Salt Flats, The Grand Canyon, YellowStone, Hạ Long Bay, The Zhangye Mountains and Plitvice Lakes. I pointed out the places I had been to as we walked past them, finally stopping at suite 216-B.
The door was open so we knocked, getting a quick ‘enter’, before stepping in. A man sits behind a desk, the top covered in organized files and folders, a placard on his desk declares his name as ‘Obediah Kamara’ with a small Liberian flag stamped beside it.
His visor obscures his face as he looks between the two of us before beginning. “I presume you are…” He sorts through a couple of the files and folders before stopping on one and opening it, pulling out a document packet. “Christopher Dewey and Taisa. Correct?”
We both respond in the affirmative as he gestures for us to take the seats across from him, sliding the documents across the table as Taisa’s pad pings on her belt. “These are agreements to ensure that you,” He starts, looking at me. “Understand the rules in regards to your habitation here on Venlil Prime. I understand that part of your integration will be taking you off world to and from Earth, these rules primarily apply to your time here. We ask that you remain considerate of the provided rules and guidelines on the ship if you are carrying Venlil passengers. Taisa, those are the terms, conditions, compensations and requirements for your family to house a human when the two of you are present. Virtual signature of that document is required within the next 3 of your ‘paws’.” Taisa stiffened a little bit, likely thinking about her Mother’s response to my arrival; that was something we were probably going to have to have a talk about later. I had an idea for the short term, at least. I ran through the paperwork real quick and it was all pretty simple: don’t be without the visor or some kind of face covering in settings where you couldn’t guarantee that an unprepared Venlil wouldn’t see you, avoid aggression, speak quietly, no eating meat, animal products or byproducts, no hunting local wildlife; bit odd considering I didn’t even have a bow or a gun but rules are rules, I suppose.
“Sounds good to me,” I said, signing the indicated portions of the document. “When are my items supposed to get here?”
“We don’t expect your requested items to arrive for another week or so, for now you’ll have to make do with what you brought with you.” Obediah responded, shuffling the packet of papers back into the folder they had come from. “With that complete you are free to go. I understand you have training to complete, so I wish you good luck with your endeavor. If you have any questions or needs with regards to your habitation you can contact Sam, their details will be forwarded to your communication devices.”
I caught Taisa’s tail twitching as her ears swiveled nervously out of the corner of my eye; even with her attempts to push through it I think the amount of Humans around was starting to get to her. Still, she was doing better than I think a lot of Venlil would be able to manage. I reached over, gently tapping my hand against her paw, trying to ground her a little before motioning to go, she nodded slightly as she flicked her ears.
“Thank you, Obediah, we’ll be sure to get into touch with them once we get their contact. Have a good day!”
Taisa and I stood, exiting the room and making our way out of the building, stopping to look at another picture or two along the way. Something needed to be done about possibly not having a place to stay to put my, and more so Taisa’s, mind at ease. I figured I could sleep in the shuttle, if I had to. It wouldn’t be particularly comfortable but I could certainly do it; I’d need a mat, maybe a sleeping bag or some blankets and a pillow.
I had no clue where I was going to get my hands on those, or at least a set of them big enough for me to actually use.
Then I saw the temporary units in the field near the offices. Men and Women in U.N. fatigues were milling about the area. Barracks? That could solve the problem, if they’re willing to help out a man in need, of course.
“Hey, Taisa, I need to make a stop real quick.” I state, walking briskly towards the largest of the buildings. “What’s up?” She asks, ears focused on me as she tilts her head a little.
“Well, I was thinking, I don’t think your parents, your Mom especially, won’t, uh… won’t want me around. At least not for a little while until she gets to know me better.”
“I think you can get past it, she’s not that bad… It’ll just be tough.”
“Oh I’m sure I can get past it, but I’d rather not just sleep in the grass in the meantime.” “I don’t think she’d make you sleep in the grass…” “I like being prepared, if she doesn’t want me in her house I’m not going to push the issue.”
“I just… I hope it doesn’t come to that, I’m not going to let her toss you outside like an animal.” She sighs quietly as we push through the front door of the barrack building.
A desk manned by a napping U.N. Marine with Private ranks stuck to his shoulders filled the space beyond the doors. He stirs as the doors clank shut behind us before scrambling to throw on his Visor as he notices Taisa.
“Hello, Uh… Can I help you? This area is for active U.N. personnel only.” He starts, his voice finding its authority only about halfway through the statement.
I stand straight, trying to muster the stern demeanor I’d found in my father and his friends so often when they tried to get something on base after their retirements. “Easy, Private. It has come to my attention that my accommodations lack proper bedding.” “O-Oh, uh, I apologize…” He stammers out, searching for something to say, likely looking to find a way out of trouble for sleeping on duty.
“Sir.” I state. “What’s your name, Private?”
“A-Alvarez, Sir.”
“Alvarez. I’ll remember that, Alvarez, how about we make this quick, you get me a wrap of blankets, 3 pillows and a bedroll and I don’t find your commander to report your… lack of enthusiasm.”
The private snaps to attention before firmly stating. “Yes Sir! I’ll be right back, Sir!”
As the private turns and walks away crisply I hear Taisa whistle with laughter a little beside me. “I’m surprised that worked.”
“You’d be surprised what a hard voice, straight back and the right slacking Private can get you if you just don’t go pushin' it too far in your story.” I whispered with a wink.
After a few minutes of waiting Private Alvarez returned with a duffle bag, stuffed full with blankets and pillows, as well as an inflatable bedroll under the other arm. “Here you go, Sir. Will this be ok?” He asked, passing the items over to me.
“Perfect, thank you Private.” I took the bundle of bedding and turned to the door, before turning my head back over my shoulder, “Oh, and Private? Do try and get proper rest before duty.”
A shaking “Y-Yes, Sir.” followed Taisa and I out of the door.
The first half of the walk back to the landing field was quiet, I was scanning the skyline again, I just couldn’t get over the fact that I was on another planet. Taisa however had her ears pinned back, her paws lightly holding her tail tuft as we walked.
“What’s got ya down?” I asked, watching the herd of Venlil glide around us as we came, trying their best not to get too close to me.
“I’m… concerned.” She sighed, the tip of her tail twitching between her paws.
“About?”
“My mother, what she’ll say… What she’ll do.”
“I can’t exactly say I know what her reaction’ll be… But, whatever it is we’ll just have to deal with it. It’ll probably take time, but we’ll get by.” I soothed. She let go of her tail, placing the tip of it on my back, but her ears didn’t let up at all.
The rest of the walk to the shuttle was quiet as she fidgeted with her paws, trying to take her mind off of the subject. Videk was there waiting for us, a few crates secured to the cargo area of the shuttle that weren’t present before.
“You two ready?” He asked, flicking his tail at us.
“I think so.” I responded, stowing the bedding in an empty compartment as Taisa flicked her ears.
We ran through our preflight checklist again, finding another pre-placed failure from Videk waiting for us, this time in the starboard control surfaces. Once the check was done we radioed the tower for clearance to take off and set an in-atmo course for Shadetree to drop off Videk. It was a short hop, about a half hour of flying or so before I had to call ahead for clearance to land again.
Most of the flight from the Capitol to Shadetree had been rolling turquoise and green hills or open fields of produce growing in the everpresent light. A sudden dense forest rose from the fields, thick dark brown trees with fluttering golden leaves stretched as far as the eye could see in every direction. A sudden break in the forest revealed a clearing for the Landing field, much smaller than the one at the Capitol. The city was built under the canopy of the trees, giving it a constant filtered light casting down through the shifting leaves. It was certainly a beautiful town, I’d have to come back to visit some day. Maybe once Videk had warmed up to me a little bit more.
As the ramp fell ,a small cargo truck arrived alongside the shuttle to collect Videk and his equipment. I offered to help but the Venlil driver just about ran when I started talking so I figured it was probably best to just keep out of it. Once the cargo truck departed, Taisa came back up to the cockpit, plopping down in her seat, and looked through the viewscreen at the trees beyond. The soft hiss of the ramp closing marked the finality of Videk’s departure.
“So, how are you feeling about Venlil Prime so far?” She asked, one eye on my face as I finally slipped the visor off.
“I like it! Between the beautiful scenery, interesting architecture and hanging out with you and Shamrock, here I’m having a great time!” I responded, rubbing my hand on what amounted to the shuttle's dashboard.
“... Shamrock?” She asked, her tail swaying in what I figured for amusement.
“Yea! Remember how I told you Humans like looking for patterns? Well it works on words and numbers as well. The tail number for the shuttle could be taken to spell ‘Clover-HR-EX’, or just clover for short. Clovers are a type of plant on earth that a few cultures believed to be lucky, one way or another. One of the nicknames for them was a Shamrock!”
She laughed at me.
“You are such a dork.” She said, wiping a tear from her eye as her tail whipped back and forth. “It’s a good name, usually shuttles don’t get one. I think it fits.”
I chuckled, a thought crossing my mind. “Think we could get any shuttle-grade paint? Preferably green, yellow and black?” She raised an eyebrow at me as her ears cocked at different elevations. “Oh? Someone feeling a little artistic?”
“Well, I could always paint a Shamro-” I was interrupted as the ping signifying we were being hailed sounded off. “We’ll finish this later.” I said, pointing at her as I accepted the hail.
Videk’s voice bled through the speakers. “Ok, looks like the connection is secure. Let’s go ahead and run through getting you familiar with the software, it should be quick and easy.”
It was not.
It took two hours. After a lot of trial and error, stop and go flights to test the connection and a few near misses with an especially tall tree we had gotten the system setup such that Videk was confident it would work in an emergency if he needed to step in. With that all squared away Taisa and I settled in to get on our way to Heartwood River. Sleeping on the blow up mattress or on a real bed hardly mattered at this point, I just wanted to sleep.
The overall flight time was set to be about an hour and a half, not too bad and man was the view beautiful: rolling fields, roaring rivers, pristine skies and alien forests abounded across the countryside. We had just passed over Hidden Plains when Taisa and I were just settling back into talking about her parents and our best route to try and handle them, when the hail system chimed and immediately spat out a harsh tone without acknowledgement, the same one the simulator used for distress calls.
“Mayday Mayday Mayday. Report of shots fired at residence housing humans. Need immediate medical evac at The Berrypatch Farm in The Grove, 11 minutes Night-ward from Hidden Plains. Hailing all airborn craft, we need a medical evac immediately!”
I immediately returned the hail. “This is cargo shuttle C1-0V3R-HR-EX. Responding to Mayday from the Grove. We are en-route to render aid. Hold tight, we’ll be there.”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Taisa tighten her flight harness as I reached for the throttle.
---
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Well, this is new at least.
I've never had to quell a riot before.
Empress, please. This is more a brawl. When there's a riot, we'll let you know. We have seen riots, and this is no riot.
Okay, fine. There's something like two dozen people here and I see what looks like to be more security people, Mariens and Aviens and some Azurians on the edge of things, trying to get a handle on what is going on. Note to myself, I should go visit their offices later. Chairs from nearly restaurants have been taken and broken into clubs, and there is shouting and smoke and the clashing of flesh on feather on bone.
Wait, why is there smoke?
"Ava, Um'reli is there a fire here? I see and smell smoke."
"Um, one moment Melody.... Yes, there is a report of a small fire, but there's also this warning - it says something like Fire Suppression Offline, local assistance is needed." Sounds like we had some kind of Starbase wide fire suppression system but it doesn't work anymore."
All the Builder controlled parts of this place are broken. What is going on here? Was it on purpose or did they just fail because nobody was around to maintain them? "See if you can get it back online. It doesn't have to work forever, just to see if we can knock down the smoke. Turn the air scrubbers and air cycling too here, I don't want people getting ill from the smoke."
"On it, Melody." Um'reli is checking into it while Ava is helping with an overview of the area. It's a wide open area, kind of like the promenade on the lower level, but this area is... nicer? It has parks and gardens! We need to come up here more often. Why is it so drab down closer to the docks.
Well, it's nicer when a riot isn't going on I mean.
Sigh. Fine. Let's stop the riot and figure out what is going on. I take a moment and concentrate, and my crown and wings spring into existence. In fact, let's make those wings bigger and brighter. I'm going to need to be seen and heard. I connect to the Starbase, locate the local public address system - mentally wave to Um'reli and Ava as I go by! - and then...
S̴̨̲̗̥̯̯̩̤͒̎̔̽͊̐̚ṫ̸̝̱͈̙̆͋̌o̴͎͗̌̿̀̍̏̿̚͝p̸͚̐̀̕ ̶̯̌̈́f̵̤͙̪̖̗͖̳̼̺̐̏̊̒͒̈́̀̚̚i̵̡͈̼̱̭̼̻͖̳͋͒̄̊̾͌g̵͚͐͆̀͂͑̌h̶̛̤͙̆̋̍̄͑̓͠t̶̘̖̪͒́i̴̢̞̜̠̠͋n̷̛̪͚͙̞͚͒̀̃̔͂͊̊g̶̢̡̠͍̥̙̹̼̓̃͗ͅ!̶̨̥͎̄͘͝
I swear, it never gets old. Like I pressed pause on a video, everyone immediately stops. I put some work into my command this time, I specified fighting so that they can still move and breathe, but sure enough, everyone stops.
I put a little extra oomph into my presentation and tower over everyone. They turn towards me, fearful and I have their attention.
"Now then. What is going on here. Why are you fighting?"
Everyone starts talking all at once.
"-They started it when-"
"Those liars said that the Empress wasn't-"
"-There isn't enough food for-"
Wait that one. Another one about food? I heard a few of those at the presentation earlier.
"Cease your chatter. You. What was that about food?" I point to the Azurian close to me who mentioned food when they were all talking at once.
"Empress, the results of the last two harvests have been 15 and 20 percent lower than in previous seasons. The population here isn't dropping either. If this keeps up, the garden planetoid won't be able to support us!"
Okay that's serious, but it's not like ' drop everything and have a riot' serious - at least not at the numbers they gave me. What else is going on?
"Thank you, it's important to learn this. Please come to the Throne later and explain to me in more detail about your concerns. That's not enough to have a riot though, is it?"
"Oh the riot? No, that's not about the food supply. It's about them-" They point across the plaza "-not believing that you're holy."
Oh.
One of them, a Aviens, shouts from across the area "You're just someone who showed up and got lucky! You're not holy at all!"
Hisses and curses from this side of the plaza.
Awkward.
Well hold up now. This isn't fair to me. I never said I was holy, they just decided.
You did elevate The Smell of Soil After Rain to bishop during that presentation yesterday. I wonder if they're going around causing trouble in your name.
Hmm.
I stride out across the plaza to the other side. As I approach the people who think I'm not holy they shrink back. I wonder why for a moment and realize my wings and crown are still burning bright. Oops. Nothing like trying to convince people to stop arguing about my alleged godhood while looking like an angry God. I tone down the wings and crown (but I don't remove them entirely) and approach the Aviens who yelled that I wasn't holy. "Was The Smell of Soil After Rain coming around, giving you a hard time?"
The Aviens visibly crumbled. "They said that my family would be forgotten if I didn't attend services. That you ordered it. They said they'd remove my children from school."
What.
"What? No. Absolutely not. I am Empress, I don't need to be your God too. So long as you recognize me as Empress and Builder that's enough. Worship the way you please, or don't worship at all. Atheism it not forbidden."
I turn back to both sides of the crowd. "I will not punish those who choose not to worship me! So long as you accept that I am Empress, that I rule here, that's enough. Nobody here has to also worship me. I will... speak to my Bishop about their... enthusiasm. Nobody here will be compelled to worship. So please. Return to your homes after you assist the security forces here in cleanup."
Everyone looks around at each other, then back at me, still with crown and glowing wings, then back at each other and starts picking up litter and broken pieces of chair.
I turn back to the Aviens who I was talking to, put away my wings and crown and kneel down gently to speak just to them very quietly. They look up at me wide eyed.
"Just for your own information - and if pressed by anyone else I will deny it forever - you're right. I'm just a person who did something stupid, and now I'm Empress. My name is Melody, I like coffee and computer systems and being able to have time alone to read." It's almost a whisper.
They blink in surprise. This was completely unexpected for them. "Hi Melody, my name is Roar of Thunder and I work in an office building down on the docking level. I'm not entirely sure what our job is, but it's not difficult work. I enjoy cooking during my free time."
I stand back up. "It's wonderful to meet you Roar of Thunder. I love your name too." I look around as people continue cleaning up. "Tell you what Thunder. Come up to the Throne tomorrow. I bet we can find a more... stimulating job for you with us."
"That's... that's a wonderful opportunity Empress. I will be there tomorrow."
I spend a few minutes helping clean up the riot. I mean, why not, I'm here already, everyone will love it, and it's something to do. In the meantime Ava and Um'reli seem to get the fire supression going enough to fog some water over the smokier parts of the plaza and soon enough the smoke has dissipated and things are - if not clean - then at least cleaner. I give my thanks and as I get up to leave, one of the Mariens in the security coloration approaches me.
"Empress, thank you for coming up. We didn't even get to report back to headquarters that a riot had broken out yet, how did you know?"
This time I grin impishly. "This is just one of the things that can happen now that the Builders are back. We have eyes and ears all over and can assist quickly when needed. If you'll notice, we even got the old fire suppression foggers going in this sector. Hopefully soon we can get them operating everywhere again."
The Mariens looks amazed and salutes me sharply, then bows. "I am known as Kilad, Empress. I know my supervisor would love to thank you personally."
Ah wonderful! I was hoping to go see more of the security forces. What a nice coincidence.
"Please lead the way Kilad. I would love to meet them."
Kilad walks me across the plaza and through a park. There are trees and greenery, but of course I don't recognize any of the plants. They're very dark green and fragrant though. I wonder if they originated on a planet that has a dimmer star than Earth or our other colonies. Less light might cause them to evolve darker coloration to squeeze every drop of energy out of a weaker star.
We walk through the park and come out in another plaza, just like the one near the train station. At the far end of this one is another large, original looking building made out of the same stone as the Starbase and Administration offices and Bank. Clearly some of the institutions here were original - or the buildings were and they have been repurposed.
Kilad opens the door and I follow. Inside is a bustle of activity. Mariens, Aviens, and all the others are here. The Mariens are all colored the bright yellow of security while those without chromatophores are wearing smart yellow uniforms. Kilad walks up to a low desk in the back of the atrium. There's an Azurian sitting there in a yellow uniform with silver piping along the top. They must be the supervisor. Kilad salutes the Azurian and gives a report.
"Kilad, returning from the suspected riot near the hub station. Suspicions were confirmed, it was a riot between people arguing about the holiness - or not - of the Empress. Luckily the Empress herself showed up to quell the riot and explain that while people can worship her if so desired nobody will be forced to. She also explained that she will speak to her new Biship, The Smell of Soil After Rain about his proselytizing and ask him to tone it down." Kilad gestures behind themselves to me. "Additionally, the Empress herself is here, she'd like to speak to you."
At that, the Azurian looks behind Kilad and nods. I love how it seems like every single Azurian doesn't really care that I'm the Empress. It's refreshing. "Empress." They nod. "Thank you for your assistance, and for the official confirmation that nobody is required to worship you."
"It's quite all right. I'm glad to be able to get the word out that worship is not compulsory. Everyone is free to worship - or not worship - however they see fit. Can you explain to me what the role of your forces is here? It doesn't have to be a whole history, just the basics."
"Yes, Empress. We are the Security force on Reach of the Might of Vzzx" He pronounces Vzzx with a pop on the end. "This station is 100 people, and there are at least a dozen more across the whole of the Reach. We mostly help settle small disputes, assist with investigating petty crime and quell the occasional riot. For the most part, the residents of the Reach are relatively calm and open to working together. There is friction here and there, same as with anywhere, and with living spaces so tight conflict can break out. But, there is a strong sense of collaboration and community here too. You probably saw people cleaning up the riot they caused after it was quelled. That's not because you were there, that's a normal occurrence"
"Do you know any history? Do you know the role of your forces when they Builders were here in force?"
They indicate no, and seem a little sad about it. "Few records exist from then. When I was young, I asked some of the oldest staff here and they made it sound like things were much the same back then as now. It was probably different in that there were Builders able to detect and react to things sooner - like you and your Builders did today - but I imagine the day to day operations were much the same then as now."
"Thank you for the history lesson. What's your name?"
"I am Commander Sep."
"Thank you again Sep!" I incline my head slightly and walk out. I do wonder if I'm being too casual with everyone for a moment, but really this is who I am, how I want to rule. I hear FarReach's words and I'm reminded that she thought I was changing. That's not what I want to happen. I'm going to keep on walking around and talking to people and trying to learn as much about my new home as I can.
My new home. That's what the Reach is.
And I'm here to protect it and its residents.
I spend the evening up here visiting shops, talking to people, trying to learn as much as I can. It turns out most everyone here went down to the Throne this morning, so people are open later today to allow folks who missed their morning shopping to be able to get things.
I stop by a restaurant that looks nice and go to get dinner by myself. After I shoo away the entire staff who practically fell over themselves to be the one who took care of me and gently remind them they have other patrons who also need help, I enjoy my meal and even try out some of the tea that everyone here seems to drink. It's no coffee, but it's pleasant in its own way. It's hot and sweet and herbal and smells slightly of anise. I should see if I can get more to bring back. I think Um'reli might like it.
After dinner, I stroll slowly back towards the train and connect to the Reach and look for Ava and Um'reli. "Ava, Um'reli, where are you?"
"We're back at the Royal Dawn. Where are you Melody, it's so late!"
Is it? Hmm, I should figure out timekeeping here. It's hard to believe it's only been a few days since I left FarReach, I'm probably still on ship's time.
"Oh, after the brawl, I went and met the Security forces up here, and then I walked around talking to people, and got a nice dinner. Um'reli you have got to try this tea they have! I think you'd really like it."
"Oh? Thanks Melody, I will check it out next time we eat. Um, are you coming back? Omar is back too, he has a report about the High Line."
"I'm walking back to the train station now, I'll be home in a bit. No more than half an hour probably. Omar, do you want to tell me about it now while I walk or wait until I get back?"
"How about when you get back Melody. It still odd talking to people like this, it feels like I'm having a discussion with myself."
"Sure thing Omar, see you in a bit."
I make my way back to the hub station just as a train pulls away. As I watch it go, an Aviens is running down the platform. "No no no no, I can't miss my train! They're going to be so mad!" They reach the end of the platform and their feathers ripple and they look despondent.
"What's wrong? What about the next train?"
They look up at me and then see who I am and jump a little." E-Empress! I didn't expect to see you here. Um" And they bow.
"Yes yes, that's fine, but not really necessary unless I'm like, doing royal stuff. What's the matter? You sounded so sad."
"Oh Empress, that was the last train! There isn't another until tomorrow! I have to get back down to my home, my parents are going to be so upset to find out that I missed the last train home again and have nowhere to stay." They're practically in tears.
"Oh no! Well, I have to get down a level too so I can go home. I had no idea that was the last train - I'm still getting used to time here, it's different than where I'm from. Let me see what I can do. What's your name?"
"Oh, thank you, thank you Empress! My name is Sound of the City."
"It's so nice to meet you Sound of the City! Let's see about finding a way for both of us to get home."
I lead them to a seat on the platform and sit next to them. They snuggle up next to me and yawn deeply. Surprised, I look over and realize they're so young! It's just a child. If they were human, they might be a teen. All the more reason to get them home. I lean back a little and connect and search for the train subsystem.
Ah, there it is. They were right, that was the last scheduled train. Luckily though, when you're a Builder, you don't have to worry about things like schedules. Let's see, what train is closest... hmm? Whats that? There's something here marked 'Royal transport - offline' and it very close. Looks like it's over in a siding near here.
I dig a little deeper and it seems like it's a whole train just for the Empress. They must have used it when the previous Empress was traveling around the Reach. I remember in my dream how proud Aeche was of the transit system, I wonder if this was related to it? Well, it's the closest train, and this way I won't mess up tomorrows schedule either. I touch the train gently, and it activates. Basic systems check indicates nothing is wrong. I call the train. After only a minute, there's the trilling chime that indicates a train is coming.
"Sound, look. I found a train."
They blink sleepily and look up and gasp at what they see.
I have to admit, it is impressive. The Royal Transport is a subway train, but turned up loud. It's royal blue and gold and gilded with sweeping flowery designs. It's only three cars - the other trains seem to be between 6 and 10 cars - but what it lacks in length it makes up for in elegance.
I'm almost sad that the station is empty, this is something that needs to be seen.
"This train is beautiful, Empress! This is how we're going to get home?"
"Yup. It's the Royal Transport. It was designed for the Empress to move around the Reach in style."
We approach the door and I step in. It's carpeted! It's so plush. Sound of the City stands at the door, not coming in.
"What's wrong Sound? Come in"
"A-are you sure? It's a train for the Empress."
"And as Empress, I'm telling you it's fine. Please, come aboard. I'll take you home. It's only two stops."
I reach out my hand and they nervously take it and step in. The doors hiss shut behind us. I lead us to a seat and we both sit down. Only after we are seated does it begin to roll away, nearly silently. Sound once again snuggles up and is nearly asleep instantly. While we ride I search the train mentally. Oh! There's a log! The last time this train was used was...
74 years ago? That's it?
My head spins a bit. That's not that long at all. The Administrators had said that there hadn't been an Empress for 'three generations' I guess if they're not that long lived that could account for it. Also, given the robustness of what we build for space on our side of the galaxy, it would explain why things didn't really break down over here. It would also explain why the Gate system was almost completely intact. 74 years though. That's hardly any time at all in an interstellar empire.
But, the K'laxi! My last memories were of touching the Gate and doing an upload before going to visit them. They said that their histories and religion that mentions me and the Gates is a thousand years old.
What happened? Why were the K'laxi ignored? When did the last Empress touch the directory stone? The timing of everything doesn't make sense.
I really have no way of finding out here. Once High Line has been refitted, I think I need to go to the Wilds of Besmara, that mostly destroyed Starbase we saw first and see what happened there.
Then, the train rolls to a stop. Just as silently the doors hiss open and were back at my station. "Sound, wake up, we're here." I say gently. They rustle and blink and realizing they were sleeping on the Empress jump up, embarassed. "I'm so sorry!"
I laugh gently. "It's find Sound. I'm pretty tired too. Let me walk you home."
This is the latest I've been out, and the Reach is so quiet! The lights are down low, but it's still easy to see. Sound said they lived close to the station and they lead me there. It's a little block of apartments in between the bank and the Administrative offices. Convenient location, I bet this place was expensive.
As we approach the door, an older Aviens opens it ahead of us. Clearly upset they point a finger. "Sound of the City, you are late. How did you even get home, the last train arrived a while ago. Were you wandering around causing trouble after you got here?"
"No Father! I was working late to help Gemli finish up inventory and ran to catch the last train. I missed it, and thought I was done for when..." Sound gestures behind them to me. In the low light, I flare the crown and wings just for a moment and darken them again. There's a gasp and the adult Aviens bows low. "E-E-Empress! What are you doing here?"
"I too missed the last train home, and ran into Sound of the City weeping that they were going to be in trouble and had no way of getting home. I was able to call the Royal Transport and bring them and myself back home. I just wanted to make sure they made it home safely. I don't believe Sound should be punished, it seems that they got caught up helping a friend."
"O-of course Empress. Sound, get inside and wash up, it's past bedtime." Sound of the City hesitates a moment, then runs up and hugs me tight. "Thank you, Empress." and they wave and run inside.
"You're very welcome Sound of the City." I look at their parent and narrow my eyes just a bit. "They did not bother me, they did not put me out, I was helping because I wanted to. Do not give them trouble about this."
Their head bobs a nod. "Of course Empress. Thank you Empress, I really am grateful you brought them home. They get caught up helping friends and lose track of time. It's a regular occurrence with them."
"There are worse problems to have than being late because one is helping friends. People like that are what makes the Reach home."
"You're absolutely right Empress. I will do well to remember that."
"Good night then."
"Empress." The bow again and close the door gently.
I walk home, my head filled with worry about why the timeline for things isn't lining up. Something is wrong here.
First / Previous / Next

Hello, I would like to seek fellow redditors opinions, input and recommendation on how I could better finetune my itinerary better. There's only so much I can think of, and plan as an individual, but with everyone's input and comments I can further refine and enhance the travel experience before I set foot into Japan. Do forgive me in advance for the theorycrafting wall of text.
I know it may be difficult to review the itinerary, so to make the review easier I have broken the itinerary down into specific sub-groups e.g. Shikoku, Kinki etc. Specific questions that I have are bolded.
Thank you in advance for taking your time to provide your opinions!
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Baseline information

• 32M, average fitness, solo traveller
• Public transport only (challenge); I have a driver's license but I have not drove a car for god knows how long so I would prefer not to test it against the green hills of Shikoku
• Interest: anime (select few), experience autumn/nature, visiting secluded spots, and just trying random stuff
• JP language skill: rudimentary at best (N4), but I will not shy away from speaking in simple, broken japanese or use a translator to communicate. Reading/interpreting kanji is not a problem (in general).
• Visit history: Visited twice (once to Hokkaido for ~8 days, and once toKyoto and Osaka for 8 days
• Will probably travel around with a (slightly) oversized luggage at ~166cm (A+B+C), that’s the only one I have with me. This will be a problem on the Shinkansen (but hopefully not so much on sightseeing trains/limited expresses).
• Will be visiting during (almost) peak autumn at 11 November, and will depart on the 16th of December
• Jet lag is unlikely to be a problem (1h time difference), but nevertheless I will maintain a low tempo on the first day to acclimatize to the environment
• Only thing firmed as of now is the air ticket, everything else is up in the air.
• I like planning/min-maxing to some degree, though I recognize that I may not fulfill all objectives during the trip and I am totally ok with that [its just a guideline or framework to give the holiday some structure, that’s all.] FWIW, I personally like traveling at a high tempo pace like some japanese travel show do (e.g. ローカル路線バス乗り継ぎの旅)

​
Specific goals/objective:

1. Experience Shikoku in autumn (specifically the views at Iya Valley) and in other prefectures (thus making nature sightseeing more of a priority this time round)
2. Experience Kanazawa for anime stuff
3. Experience the Shimanami Kaido in full (including any sightseeing spots in between the 6 island chains)
4. Bonus - try as many sightseeing trains as possible.
5. Bonus - if weather, time and schedule permits, try skiing as an option in Nagano.
6. Bonus - stay in as many onsen ryokans as possible, without breaking the bank.

​
Locked-in prefectures [i.e. I will definitely go to those prefectures no matter what]:

1. Shikoku (as per above objective)
2. Hiroshima (because its on the opposite end of the Shimanami Kaido)
3. Kanazawa (for anime related reason)
4. Tokyo (that is my starting and end point so it has to be included by default)

All other prefectures are basically float i.e. I am open to consider dropping said itinerary for something else based on your suggestion that aligns with my preferences/interest. Most of the other locations I added are prefectures that are often next to each other, or well-connected (apart from the initial Tokyo Kagawa jump via Sunrise Seto/Shinkansen).
​
Wait-list prefectures (prefectures that I want to go, but I don’t think I can realistically fit in without dropping other locations):

1. Snow skiing at Nagano (depending on how cooperative the weather is in early-ish December (would 2 days be sufficient?))
2. Ehime, Kochi expansion [spend 1-3 more days]
3. Izu Peninsula (~2 days, via Saphir Odoriko)
4. Nagoya + lower Nagano (Kiso Valley) (~3 days)
5. Ishikawa expansion [1 extra day at Kaga]

I am open to dropping a few days in Tokyo/Osaka etc to make that trade off [currently kept 3 days free for further development]. Alternatively, if the planning can be better optimized based on your inputs I might be able to do one of those without compromising on the base set. I would like to hear your opinion on what locations you would drop in the itinerary to make time for one of the above.
​
General planning philosophy:

1. My itineary adopts a breadth approach (cover as much area as I can humanely possible without rushing/touch-and-go) as opposed to depth (i.e. spending much more time within Shikoku than what I allocated); though I would be open to considering more days at selected locations if you have strong recommendations. My thought is to experience how different autumn is at various parts of the country (if possible), and maybe winter too (to a certain degree).
2. Due to the nature of my travel, I note that luggage logistics is a critical consideration when moving between prefectures; my thought is to park that luggage at the next hotel as quickly as possible so that I can free myself for sightseeing within the vicinity, or leave the luggage at the hotel after I check out until I am ready to travel to the next location. I will need to send (quite a fair bit of) emails to the hotels to confirm on this prior to booking.
3. I will attempt to minimize transit time between prefectures to no more than 2~3 hours a day to avoid having excessively long transport days (except the initial Tokyo Kagawa jump).
4. Because of the long trip, I will also need to factor a bit of downtime at night for administrative stuff (e.g. catching up a little bit on work, laundry etc).

---------
Shikoku (~7 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:

1. I will need to exploit Limited Express trains as much as possible to minimize downtime between the 4 prefectures. Fortunately, for the most part these train frequencies are almost hourly, thus missing one train isnt too deadly consequence-wise.
2. The transfer between Kochi and Ehime [Matsuyama] is oddly quicker via express bus as opposed to trains (!)
3. For Kochi, my opinion is that it is best explored on car instead of public transport [it’s a really wide prefecture]; I feel that 1 day may not do it justice, but it is probably adequate for exploring the city centre as a whole.
4. There's a fair bit of uncertainties while planning this leg so I would deeply appreciate any advice you may have.
5. This current iteration is unable to weave in the Shikoku Mannaka Sennen Monogatari sightseeing train [四国まんなか千年ものがたり] ; if you people think its something not to be missed do let me know and I will reshuffle my timetable as such.

Day 0: Tokyo Kagawa (Sunrise Seto) [Saturday, 11 Nov]

• Touch down at Narita at 1720hours
• Transfer to Tokyo Station via NEX or Skyliner
• Settle administrative matters at the Midori-no-Maruguchi (e.g. get all the booked tickets etc from JR Pass, for Shinkansen and all other sightseeing trains) at Tokyo Station.
• IF Sunrise Seto ticket is obtained via the JR West portal booking, chill till 2200 and take Sunrise Seto to reach Kagawa (Takamatsu) at 0700 the next day. Try to snag the ticket online (likely via the japanese portal since there's no option to buy Solo Deluxe through the english/international website. Otherwise, compromise and go for Single)
• IF Sunrise Seto ticket is NOT obtained, proceed to take the furthest possible Shinkansen westwards (probably Okayama) and rest for the night.

Day 1: Kagawa (Takamatsu) [Sunday, 12 Nov]

• Chill around Takamatsu. Drop luggage at coin locker OR the hotel (near JR Takamatsu ideally)
• Look at whats left of Takamatsu Castle en route to the port.
• Day trip to Naoshima or Teshima to visit the art museums (Chichu Art Museum, Lee Ufan Museum etc).
• Ritsuin Garden in the evening (closes 1830)
• Find an eatery with Sanuki Udon for dinner if possible.

Day 2: Kagawa (Kotohira) Tokushima (Iya Valley) [Monday, 13 Nov]

• Morning trip from Takamatsu to Kotohira (either via JR or Kotoden). Visit Kotohiragu [includes inner shrine] and Kanamaruza Theater
• Return to Kotohira to pick up luggage, transit to Oboke via Limited Express Shimanto [Takamatsu Tadotsu Oboke]
• Retire at a local hotel around Oboke. If time permits, take the chance to explore around Oboke Gorge itself.

​
Day 3: Tokushima (Iya Valley) [Tuesday, 14 Nov]
[Post-research note: I realized that there is NO public transport to Mount Tsurugi on a weekday. I will have to rent a taxi direct to Mount Tsurugi, make the 'climb', then thereafter take the taxi down to the other attractions. I am inclined to just go full hog on the private taxi and rent it (almost the whole day, probably 7~8 hours for 4300yen/hour) to save the trouble.
Otherwise, I will need to hike downhill which can be rather rough since its just a single lane road (looking at nearly 10++ km) so I think it wise not to penny pinch in the interest of both time and safety.]
Spend the day at Iya Valley.

• Take a taxi after breakfast to zip to Mount Tsurugi and speedrun it to the mountain peak (aka using the chairlift to speedrun a good chunk of the mountain) about 2.5 hours ~ 3 hours as per the Iya Valley guide
• Taxi from Mount Tsurugi chairlift down to Oku-Iya Niju Kazuraashi and cross it (~1 hour estimate)
• Taxi down to visit the mannequins/scarecrows at Nagoro Village (~3km downhill from Oku-Iya). (~1 hour estimate)
• Check out the Peeing Boy Statue (~0.5 hour estimate [its just looking at the statue that is overlooking the entire gorge is it not?])
• Cross the outer vine bridge Iya-no-Kazurabashi (~1 hour estimate)
• Taxi back to Oboke, and retire for the day (~0.5 hour estimate, thus looking at about ~8 hours taxi rental total, with some leeway for lunch break)

​
Day 4: Tokushima (Iya Valley) Kochi (Kochi) [Wednesday, 15 Nov]

• Transit from Iya Valley [Oboke] to Kochi via Limited Express Shimanto (again) after breakfast. (~1 hour transit)
• Park luggage at hotel [ideally near JR Kochi Station], then proceed to mill around Kochi, visiting places such as Kochi Castle [高知城] and Harimaya Bridge[はりまや橋]
• Transit to Sakamoto Ryoma Memorial Museum [高知県立坂本龍馬記念館] via local bus which is also near Katsumatsura Beach incidentally. Chill at Katsumatsura Beach in the evening
• Return to JR Kochi, dinnesupper at Hirome Market (ideally to try out Kochi's speciality seared bonito). [is visiting the market more preferable during lunch OR dinner?]

​
Day 5: Kochi (Kochi) Ehime (Imabari) [Thursday, 16 Nov]

• Complete any remaining items in Kochi in the morning, then transit to Imabari via train (Kochi Tadotsu Imabari), via Limited Express Shimanto (yet again!) and Ishidzuchi**[TBC: this might be better done via highway bus instead which is faster at ~2-3 hours]**
• Drop luggage at Imabari for the next 2 days, either at Sunrise Itoyama OR Cycle no Ie. [both are well positioned for the Shimanami Kaido, and are also one of the selected hotels eligible for the Sagawa luggage transfer.] Ideally done just around lunch time, so that there's still the better half of the day to explore Imabari.
• Spend the remainder of the day visiting Imabari Castle (closes 1700) and Towel Museum (slightly out of the way) (closes 1800) [TBC: I note this place is quite out of the way from Imabari itself, even the JP website suggests taking a taxi (!) there from the nearby train station. Might have to drop this).
• Attempt to try some Ehime-related food specialties e.g. Taimeshi (Sea Bream), Ehime oranges, Champon for the next 2 days

​
Day 6: Ehime (Matsuyama / Imabari) [Friday, 17 Nov]

• Take the Limited express train Ishidzuchi to Matsuyama day tripping. (~1h one-way).
• Explore Matsuyama Castle, and the nearby Matsuyama Ropeway Shopping Street
• Visit Shiki Memorial Museum
• Visit Dogo Onsen [and attempt to soak in the waters if possible].
• Also consider looking at Ishiteji (石手寺) beside Dogo Onsen.
• Bonus: Subject to train schedule, if possible, attempt to secure tickets for the Iyonada Sightseeing Train (伊予灘物語), Futami leg [双海ふたみ 編] , and also visit JR Shimonada Station (JR下灘駅) at the same time.
• Bonus: visit Yawatahama Port where the movie Suzume took reference from,
• Return to Imabari via the same Limited express Ishidzuchi and retire for the night.

Day 7: Ehime (Imabari) Hiroshima (Shinamani Kaido) [Saturday, 18 Nov]
I am of the opinion that 1 day in Shimanami Kaido is adequate if I attempt just the main route which is about 80km [as a test run, I did 70km and finished it within 6-7 hours with lunch breaks included]. For now I will plan for two full days, however should I truncate it down to one day later, I will add an extra day to either explore Matsuyama or Okayama.
​

• Start off at Sunrise Itoyama [watch the sunrise, have breakfast here, cafeteria opens at 0700, rental opens at 0800] OR Cycle no Ie. Do paperwork to send luggage over to the next accomodation via Sagawa.
• I will (probably) follow the recommended 'extended' route on Cycle no Ie's website and do the following:
  • Take the west coast for Oshima (~13km) and cross to Hakatajima, with possible stop on:
    • Mount Kiro Observatory Point [I am aware that there's a steep incline so this would be contingent on my physical/mental status by then].
    • Nagahama Beach
• Take the coastal route for Hakatajima (~17km) and cross to Omishima and enjoy the coastal scenery
• Take the coastal route (again) for Omishima (~41km) (or lesser depending on how I'm feeling at that point) , with possible stop on:
  • -TBC: Okunoshima (there is apparently a ferry route to the well-known rabbit island via Omishima port. Not sure if anyone else have tried this particular route and if this is a better approach than going through Tadano-umi (though I would acknowledge that there's historical stuff to visit in nearby Takehara), and I would not be able to buy rabbit food in advance).[Based on Google Earth estimate, its about 3km for the entire island loop - seems doable within 2 hours to tour the poison gas museum with a bike and pet some rabbits).
  • Oyamazumi Shrine Treasure Museum
• End the day at WAKKA (Omishima) OR Guesthouse NEST / Soil Setoda (Ikuchijima) just beside Kousanji / The Hill of Hope (closes 1700). If possible, visit before closing, otherwise defer to next day.
• Try the ice cream at Dolce at Ikuchijima if possible.
• Bonus: if for some reason I am still ahead of time at this juncture (<1500), proceed to finish Innoshima and Mukaishima, then take a ferry to backtrack to Wakka/Soil Setoda or cycle back (last boat is ~1700) and rest; however, the next day I will zip straight to Onomichi via ferry after breakfast.

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Hiroshima + Yamaguchi (~4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:

1. Onomichi is a pretty good base to jump to Okayama to explore Okayama, Kurashiki or Tomonoura with the Shinkansen accessibility, but it is impossible to cover them all within a single day. If I finish the Shimanami Kaido within a single day or finish it early on the second day, I will have that extra time to visit those.
2. There's another sightseeing train etSETOra from Onomichi to Hiroshima but it only operates on Monday/Friday/Saturday/Sunday. For now the schedule could fit the train timetable pretty nicely.
3. Would anyone suggest visiting Miyajima in the morning or in the evening? This would help me determine the order for the Kintaikyo Bridge/Miyajima day trip. Watching the sunset at either destination is pretty good in my books.

​
Day 8: Hiroshima (Shinamani Kaido Onomichi) [Sunday, 19 Nov]

• Continue from Ikuchijima towards Innoshima and Mukaishima (~18km) via the western coast route after breakfast, with possible stops on the following areas:
  • Innoshima: Innoshima Flower Centre, Shimanami Beach [open to more suggestions]
  • Mukaishima : there seems to be a lot of brunch places like Willows Nursery etc, soak the view at Mukaishima Rest Park [TBC: open to more suggestions]

Ideally reach Onomichi just around lunch or earlier. Chill for the rest of the day, and if I'm still up for it, explore Onomichi, including but not limited to:

• Exploring the cat alley
• Visit the exhibits at Onomichi City Museum of Art
• Consider walking to Senkoji and Onomichi Hondori Shopping Street
• Look into trying Onomichi-style ramen.

Retire at a guesthouse/hotel near JR Onomichi that I have forwarded the luggage to.
​
Day 9: Hiroshima (Onomichi, Takehara+Kure OR Tomonoura OR Okayama) Downtown Hiroshima) [Monday, 20 Nov]

• Mill around Onomichi in the morning (if not done yesterday), with a side trip to EITHER Takehara/Kure OR Okayama/Kurashiki OR Tomonoura (choose one):
  • Takehara: stroll along the historical townscape [and look if they have any Tamayura-related merch], Okunoshima (if not done during the Shimanami Kaido leg / Kure: look into trying Kure curry/Niku-jaga and visit the Yamato Museum
  • Okayama: Okayama Castle (zip via Shinkansen) / Kurashiki : Kurashiki Bikan Historical Quarter
  • Tomonoura: stroll along the townscape during the day (zip via Shinkansen, transfer to local bus)
• Return to Onomichi (no later than 1400), board the etSETOra sightseeing train at 1437, and zip to Hiroshima. Enjoy the sunset along the coastline.
• Retire for the night at Hiroshima proper, probably near JR Hiroshima OR the bus terminal. If time permits, take a gander along the streets and see what takes me from there.

​
Day 10: Hiroshima (Downtown Hiroshima) [Tuesday, 21 Nov]
Spend the day surveying Hiroshima proper.

• Peace Memorial Park (平和記念公園) and Atomic Bomb Dome
• Hiroshima National Peace Memorial Hall for the Atomic Bomb Victims (国立広島原爆死没者追悼平和祈念館)
• Hiroshima Castle
• Orizuru Tower (おりづるタワー)
• Shukkeien (縮景園)
• Optional: Mazda Museum / Kure (if not done the previous day)
• Try to source for Hiroshima-specific food: Okonomiyaki, Dandan Noodles

​
Day 11: Hiroshima (with a day trip to Yamaguchi) [Wednesday, 22 Nov]

• Daytrip to Yamaguchi [Shin-Iwakuni] to visit Kintaikyo Bridge via Shinkansen. Also stop by the nearby Iwakuni Castle.
• Try Tonosama Sushi at Iwakuni if possible.
• Take the local train back to Miyajimaguchi and take the boat to Itsukushima.Take the time to stroll around the island and perhaps watch the sunset at the torii gate.
• Exit back to Hiroshima via boat to Hiroshima Port direct, and transit back to hotel.

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Shimane + Tottori (4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:

1. Matsue becomes the main jump point for Shimane just because of the subsidized highway bus from Hiroshima, and ease of access towards Tottori later. There's no direct train between Hiroshima and Izumo/Matsue (!).
2. Tottori is really wide size-wise, to the point that it feels more efficient to have two separate hotels in two nights (Kurayoshi/Misasa Onsen + downtown Tottori) rather than one hotel for two nights (i.e. downtown Tottori). Could be just me making excuses to get into an onsen ryokan however.
3. Is there anything interesting at Yonago (Tottori) that I should take note of? Based on my initial survey nothing in particular pops up (other than the Tottori Prefectural Flower Park).
4. Skipping Tottori Castle since it doesn’t seem to be interesting at first glance. Any other interesting things to at Tottori downtown (or nearby)?

​
Day 12: Hiroshima Shimane (Matsue) [Thursday, 23 Nov]

• Make good use of the 500yen highway bus from Hiroshima to Matsue. (3.5 hours transit). Fortunately the frequency is not too bad (7-8 buses per day, looking at 0800 departure or later); if there are still outstanding places to visit in Hiroshima I will visit them in the morning.
• Check in at a hotel near JR Matsue, and proceed to trawl around Matsue with whatever daylight is left. (TBC: am considering taking a few stops down to Tamatsukuri Onsen 玉造温泉 or Matsue-shinjoko Onsen instead of the typical hotel. Does anyone have any positive experiences there?)
• Attempt to spend the afternoon at the Adachi Museum of Art. Local train to Yasugi, transfer to free shuttle.
• Chill off in downtown Matsue for the night. Prowl for Shimane-specific food such as Naniwa Zushi (浪花寿司), Shijimi clams (しじみ), Izumo soba, Izumo Zenzai (出雲ぜんざい).
• Bonus: visit the Tottori Prefectural Flower Park for the winter Hanakairo Flower Illumination at Yonago at night [which is just beside Matsue. Free shuttle bus at Yonago bus terminal].

​
Day 13: Shimane (Izumo / Matsue) [Friday, 24 Nov]

• Day trip from Matsue to Izumo. (JR Matsue JR Izumo, swap to Ichibata local rail to Izumotaisha-mae)
• Take a stop at Izumo Taisha, as well as the nearby Shimane Museum of Ancient Izumo (島根県立古代出雲歴史博物館)
• After lunch, return to JR Matsue and proceed to Yushien Garden (由志園) via bus. Enjoy the sunset over the garden.
• Stop by Matsue Castle on the way back.

​
Day 14: Shimane (Matsue) Tottori (Kurayoshi) [Saturday, 25 Nov]

• Transfer from Matsue to Kurayoshi in the morning via Super Matsukaze Limited Express (~1h).
• Settle down luggage at Misasa Onsen, then proceed to hike up Mitokusan Sanbutsuji Temple (三仏寺). Cater extra time just in case I have to wait for another fellow to pop up to climb in pairs. Estimated climb time excluding wait is about 2-3 hours both ways?
• Excess time to be spent sauntering Misasa Onsen and its nearby area such as the Nijisseiki Pear Museum [二十世紀梨記念館（なしっこ館)] and Kurayoshi Historical Quarter.
• Retire at Misasa Onsen for the night. Bonus: watch the constellations at night at Misasa Onsen on a Monday/Wednesday/Friday, 2100JST. Current plan does not fall within those 3 weekdays
• Bonus: take a short detour to Conan Town (postnote: not a big fan of the show).

​
Day 15: Tottori (Kurayoshi Tottori) [Sunday, 26 Nov]

• Transfer from Kurayoshi to Tottori (~35minutes transfer) in the morning, and proceed to tour around Tottori.
• Drop luggage, take a local bus to Tottori Sand Dunes, and visit the nearby Sand Museum.
• Transfer northwards to Uradome Coast via local bus and spend the remainder of the day there. Watch the sunset over the coast.
• Return to downtown Tottori, stroll around and call it a night.

​
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Hyogo, Kyoto, Osaka , Nara, Mie (10 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:

1. Kinosaki Onsen is intentionally designed to be a slow-paced leg to recover [and also to make time to enjoy the onsens].
2. The limited express train between Kinosaki Onsen and Osaka stops by Himeji thus I thought of resting a night there instead of doing day trips via Osaka.
3. Osaka itinerary does look sparse but that is in large part because I have already visited most of them in the past. Nevertheless, I would like to experience how different it is in autumn compared to summer [based on those few destinations that I loved going previously].
4. I have kept one float day to decompress, OR shift to any of the other prefectures (TBC).
5. There are (multiple) special limited express train by Kintetsu; they're not covered by JR pass but nevertheless I would love to ride on those as an experience. The Kintetsu pass covers the basic fare only but based on my preliminary cost estimate, it is still worth getting it.
6. Is it feasible to compress Himeji and Kobe to a single day?
7. The itineraries for Osaka, Kyoto, Nara and Mie are flexible since they're literally beside one another - makes it particularly easy to shift around base on ground situation.

​
Day 16: Tottori (Tottori) Hyogo (Kinosaki Onsen) [Monday, 27 Nov]

• Settle any outstanding sightseeing spots in the morning if required in Tottori, then transfer to Kinosaki Onsen via the Sanin Line.
• Make a pitstop at Amarube ('Sky Station') and marvel at the engineering work.
• Deposit luggage at the ryokan (or put in the coin locker), and stroll around and enjoy Kinosaki Onsen [after all its an onsen town].
• Try to hit as many of the 7 external onsens that are usable. Retire for the night here.
• Optional: go up the ropeway and oversee Kinosaki Onsen in the evening (last ride up ~1630)
• Optional: take a short hike up to Onsenji Temple.

​
Day 17: Hyogo (Kinosaki Onsen + Northern Kyoto (Amanohashidate) day trip) [Tuesday, 28 Nov]

• Optional: take a (very) early start to the day to Takeda Castle Ruins and witness the 'floating castle' effect in the morning (<0800).
• Day trip to Amanohashidate via ToyookaKyotango Railway. Do the funny bend-down pose on the bench at Amanohashidate View Land, and see how it feels like looking at the world inverted.
• Cross the sandbar and look from the other side (Nariaiji Temple / Kasamatsu Park)
• Select one of three additional side-trips:
  • EITHER take a local bus up to Ine to look at the Funaya + sightseeing boat,
  • OR local rail down to Maizuru to look at the Maizuru World Brick Museum + eat at the Michi-no-eki;
  • OR reverse to Toyooka spend time in the city itself e.g. Izushi Castle Town
• Return to Kinosaki Onsen, and continue experiencing the remainder of the onsens. Retire for the night here. Optional: ride the Aomatsu sightseeing train back to Toyooka.
• Optional: Take a trip to Ankokuji Temple (安国寺) in the evening. Likely to visit post-peak autumn which means less than ideal viewing conditions.

Day 18: Hyogo (Kinosaki Onsen Himeji) [Wednesday, 29 Nov]

• Transit from Kinosaki Onsen to Himeji via Limited Express Hamakaze (~2 hours).
• Deposit luggage at the hotel or the coin lockers at the station, then proceed for sightseeing.
• Walk along the Miyuki Street Shopping District which is en-route to Himeji Castle.
• Himeji Castle sector : Himeji Castle (姫路城), Kokoen (好古園)
• Take a local bus at Himeji Castle to go to Mount Shosha and hike up Engyōji Temple (圓教寺)
• Optional : Stroll along Hyogo Prefectural Museum of History and/or Himeji City Museum of Art which is beside the castle, OR Shosha Handicraft Museum which is just at the foot of Mount Shosha
• Optional: Make a detour to the Japan Toy Museum near Koro station (~30 minutes from JR Himeji). Closes 1700.
• Look for Hyogo-specific food: Kobe beef, steamed pork buns, sobameshi, himeji oden, etc

Retire at Himeji for the night.
Day 19: Hyogo (Himeji Kobe) Osaka (Dotonburi) [Thursday, 30 Nov]
Day trip to Kobe, before continuing further down to Osaka.

• Check out from Himeji, transit further down to Kobe for another stop before Osaka. Place luggage at the holding facility within the Shinkansen station.
• Take a visit to the Earthquake Memorial Museum (人と防災未来センター) to look at the devastation wrought by the 1995 earthquake.
• Stroll along Kobe Harborland (神戸ハーバーランド) and Meriken Park (メリケンパーク) , look at the Kobe Tower since its closed till 2024 for renovation, and look at the damage caused by the earthquake
• Optional: Head westwards to Hyogo Prefectural Museum of Art.
• Optional: Hit up the ASICS Sports Museum (アシックススポーツミュージアム)
• Look at the engineering feat that is the Akashi-Kaikyo Bridge and the nearby Akashi Kaikyo Bridge Exhibition Center at Maiko. (Suzume no Tojimari)
• Return to Shin-kobe, pick up luggage, and transit to Shin-Osaka via Shinkansen, and then to Dotonburi/Shinsaibashi. End the (long) day in Osaka.

Day 20: Osaka [Friday, 1 Dec]
Osaka Nostalgia (acid) trip, speedrun edition: revisiting places that I want to go again

• Day trip to Mino Park and revisit the waterfall (I loved visiting it previously) via the Hankyu line in the morning.
• Zoom down to the Osaka Aquarium after lunch and walk around it (Minoo Umeda Honmachi Osakako Station).
• From there, race towards Abeno Harukas and watch the sunset/nightview at Abeno Harukas.
• Bonus: revisit Sumiyoshi Taisha if time permits.
• Spend whatever time remains at night at Nipponbashi Denden Town (shops close at ~2000) and Dotonburi (some stores are still open near midnight) and/or Shinsekai (新世界).

Day 21: Osaka (Nara day trip) [Saturday, 2 Dec]
Spend a day in Nara.

• Zoom from Namba to Nara via Kintetsu (note: non-JR)
• Explore Todaiji Temple, Kokufuji Temple, Isuien Garden and Kasuga Taisha.
• Optional: pass by Naramachi (奈良町) on the way back.
• Take the Kintetsu line down to Mount Yoshino. [TBC: subject to whether I am too early or late for the koyo.Based on last year's prediction I am about 1-2 weeks too late. Might swap this out to a Uji day trip instead in Kyoto.). Spend time walking around the Shimo Senbon and Naka Senbon and experience the autumn.
• Transfer back to Osaka. Bonus: take the Blue Symphony back to Osaka instead of the typical train. (non-JR)

Day 22: Osaka (Mie day trip) [Sunday, 3 Dec]
Day trip to Mie.

• Take the Iseshima Liner from Tsuruhashi Station (near Namba/Dotonburi) to Ise. Bonus: take the Hinotori from Osaka to Tsu, then transfer to Mie. (non-JR)
• Hit up Ise Jingu (伊勢神宮) [both inner and outer] and Okage Yokocho (おかげ横丁)
• Try to eat Matsuaka Beef or Ise Udon for lunch.
• Head westwards to Futamiokitama Shrine (二見興玉神社) / Meotoiwa Rocks; and if further time permits, go to Toba for the Ama Viewing Platform.
• Take the returning Shimakaze Limited Express train back to Osaka (note: only one train at 1630; if this train is missed, change to normal express trains). (non-JR)
• Retreat back to Osaka for the night. Consider doing any other night activities in Osaka if time, and body permits.

Day 23: Osaka ('north' Kyoto day trip) [Monday, 4 Dec]
(north) Kyoto day trip.

• Take a stop at the Kyoto Railway Museum. Optional: also consider heading to To-ji Gojunoto first if I reach Kyoto way early before 10am.
• Walk back to Kyoto station, and take a bus northwards to Kyoto Manga Museum.
• Hop on the bus direct from the Manga Museum to Kinkakuji. [bus 15]
• Select one of two side-trips:
  • EITHER head westwards to Arashiyama (note: already visited once in the summer but I still think it nice to visit in autumn/winter this time round). Bonus: experience sunset along the Togetsukyo Bridge.
  • OR head eastwards to Higashiyama (closes 1700), Philosopher's path etc (did not visit these in my past trip here so there's the 'new' factor, but it is going to be a physically taxing day. Also, most likely will reach here nearing evening i.e. closing time thus there's a limit to how much I can visit realistically).

Whichever choice, return back to Osaka for the night. Look out for Kyoto-specific food such as Yudofu, Saba Sushi, Warabi Mochi, Nishin Soba (にしんそば) etc.
Day 24: Osaka ('south' Kyoto day trip) [Tuesday, 5 Dec]
(south) Kyoto day trip edition (mainly Uji and Fushimi).

• Zip from Osaka to Kyoto via Keihan to Uji Station.
• Spend the better half of the morning in Uji.
• Visit the Byōdō-in and the nearby Tonoshima and Tachibana Island.
• Hike up to the Daikichiyama Observation Deck to oversee Uji as a whole. On the way down, explore Ujigami Shrine.
• Take the chance to buy some Uji tea as gifts to relatives. Have lunch along the Omotesando Road.
• Head further northwards to Fushimi, and do another hike up Fushimi Inari. (Note: visited once in the past but I liked the experience thus I would like to do it again.) Bonus: if its done in the evening.

Head back to Osaka and retire for the night. Consider doing any other night activities in Osaka if time, and body permits.
Day 25: Osaka (wildcard) [Wednesday, 6 Dec]
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
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Kanazawa, Gifu+ (4 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:

1. Is it likely for the skiing season to open around 9~10 December at Shiga Kogen or Nozawa Onsen? Would very much like to try skiing for fun, but am uncertain if the snow condition would be satisfactory by then. Some of the skiing website indicates that these two destinations are usually the first to open. I would like to seek advise on this if possible [never skiied before].
2. As an additional question to point 1, is 2 days adequate just to get a flavor on skiing?
3. Kanazawa is a pretty solid jump point to Shirakawago/Takayama via express buses (~1 to 2 hour one way).
4. My initial planning considered going to Kurobe Gorge (Toyama) but apparently the railways are closed from December onwards. Please correct me if I am mistaken.
5. Another sightseeing train in Kanazawa that I can fit in nicely in my current plans (花嫁のれん), runs on Mon/Fri/Sat/Sun.

Day 26: Osaka Ishikawa (Kanazawa (Kanazawa cityside)) [Thursday, 7 Dec]

• Zip from Osaka to Kanazawa via Limited Express Thunderbird in the early morning (~3hours; ideally the 0740 or 0810 service). Drop luggage at the hotel near JR Kanazawa and explore the cityside.
• Have lunch at the Omicho Market (近江町市場), OR at Higashi Chaya District.
• Stroll around Kanazawa Castle (金沢城, Kanazawajō) and the nearby Kenrokuen (兼六園) / Seisonkaku Villa (成巽閣, Seisonkaku) .
• Consider visiting one or more of the nearby museums if possible:
  • D.T. Suzuki Museum OR
  • National Crafts Museum OR
  • 21st Century Museum of Contemporary Art
• Optional: Head southwards to Myoryuji Temple + Nishi Chaya District.
• Optional: Head northwards to Higashi Chaya District (if not done for lunch).

Any outstanding spots not completed today, to be rolled over to the next 2 days (if possible).

• Retire in Kanazawa for the night. Be on the lookout for Kanazawa-specific food: Gold-leaf ice cream, oden, hanton rice
• Optional: have a stay at Yuwaku Onsen for at least one night for anime-related reasons. (Hanasaku Iroha)

​
Day 27: Ishikawa (Kanazawa cityside) / Gifu (Shirakawago, Takayama) [Friday, 8 Dec]

• Day trip to Shiwakawago and Takayama via Nohi bus (non-JR, ~1h). Grab the morning bus express bus to Shirakawago and explore the place in the morning. Experience early snowfall (?) there. Optional: visit Ainokura on the way towards Shirakawago.
• Take another express bus down to Takayama for lunch (~1h travel time).
• Explore what Takayama has to offer. Stroll along the old town near the bus terminal and visit the Takayama Jinya. If time permits, stroll along the Higashiyama Walking Course.
• Optional: pay a visit to Hida Folk Village.
• Return to Kanazawa via Hida Limited Express to Toyama Shinkansen to Kanazawa, OR take the same Nohi express bus directly back (non-JR).
• Retire at Kanazawa for the night. Last express bus from Takayama to Kanazawa is 1630, arrive at 1845. Alternatively, head northwards to Toyama via JR and transfer to Kanazawa.

​
Day 28: Ishikawa (Kanazawa cityside / outskirts) [Saturday, 9 Dec]
Side trip to Wakura Onsen / Nanao for anime-related sightseeing. (Insomanics after Class, Hanasaku Iroha)

• Zoom from Kanazawa up to Wakura Onsen/Nanao via Limited Express Noto Kagaribi. Do some sightseeing related to Insomanics after Class and Hanasaku Iroha.
• Do some train spotting with two anime along the Noto Railways. Stop at Nishigishi station for some sightseeing. (non-JR)
• Return to Kanazawa in the evening from Wakura Onsen via the sightseeing train Hanayomenoren [花嫁のれん, last train 1630).
• End the night at Kanazawa.

Day 29: Ishikawa (wildcard) [Sunday, 10 Dec]
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
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Tokyo (~6 days)
Specific thoughts while planning:

1. Specific interest to target: anime/vtuber stuff, music (piano in particular), bookstores etc.
2. This is the point in time I should go ham on souvenier purchase if I have not done so. I'll probably get an extra cardboard box or duffel bag to lug with me to the airport to store extra stuff.
3. Would like to seek recommendation on where I should set my base for the 5~6 days here. For now I am planning to pit at Ginza, subject to availability and cost. My thought is that as long as its along the Yamanote line everything rolls I suppose.
4. Hard pass on Golden Gai on the Shunjuku leg (I do not drink).
5. There's way too many to list in terms of what I would like to do in Tokyo, but I have listed items that are of particular interest to me first within the available time frame. If you have strong opinions on specific locations do let me know.

Day 30: Ishikawa (Kanazawa) Tokyo (Ginza) [Monday, 11 Dec]

• Zip from Kanazawa to Tokyo via the Hoririku Shinkansen in the morning (just north of two hours). (TBC : If I can optimize my schedule better, I can try squeezing two days here for a stop at Nozawa Onsen / Shiga Kogen (Nagano) for a short ski experience).
• Deposit luggage at one of the Ginza hotels (TBC: subject to cost; might swap for another location later on)
• Explore ('south') Tokyo with the remainder of the day.
• Marvel at the architecture that is the Tokyo Station and its surrounding.
• Visit the Imperial Palace.
• Head south towards the Mori Art Museum (closes 2200)
• End the night with a stop at Tokyo Tower (closes 2230).

Day 31: Tokyo (Shibuya, Shinjuku and Nakano) [Tuesday, 12 Dec]
Explore ('west') Tokyo, namely Shibuya, Shinjuku and Nakano.

• Start off with an early day visit to Meji Shrine / Yoyogi Park.
• Head up to Shinjuku. Spend the remainder of the morning and lunch exploring Kabukicho, Hanazono Shrine and Omoide Yokochō (ideally have lunch here). Also make a pit stop at Kinokuniya's flagship store at Shinjuku.
• Head northwards to Nakano Broadway and trawl for anime goods for several hours (closes ~1900)
• Head south down back to Shibuya and experience the crossing in peak night condition. Walk around and soak in the atmosphere. Optional: stop by the Ishibashi music store at Shibuya (closes 2000).
• Cap off the night and look at the night view at Shibuya Sky (closes 2230). Zip back to the hotel at Ginza.

Day 32: Tokyo (Akibahara, Asakusa and Sky Tree) [Wednesday, 13 Dec]

• Kick off the day with a morning visit to Asakusa (i.e. Sensoji).
• Transit over to Tokyo Skytree to watch the Tokyo cityscape in the day.
• Trawl around Akibahara for the afternoon. (Animate, Sega claw machines, etc).
• Also stop by Ochanomizu for sightseeing (Suzume no Tojimari)
• Zip back to the hotel for the night. If time permits, stop by the two flagship music stores along Ginza: Yamaha Ginza and Yamano Ginza. Also, visit Itoya Ginza (stationary store).

Day 33: Tokyo (Kamakura day trip OR Ikebukuro) [Thursday, 14 Dec]
EITHER take a day trip Kamakura, OR explore northern Tokyo (Ikebukuro)
Kamakura leg:

• Make a detour to Used Tyre Market Sagamihara Store to experience the retro vending machines. Then head southwards to Enoshima.
• Look at the giant Buddha statue and stroll along Hasedera.
• Take the Enoden to Enoshiima and explore the island.
• Take the JR back to Ginza and retire for the night.

Tokyo (Ikebukuro leg):

• Visit Otome Road for otaku related stuffs.
• Trawl the usual suspects such as Bic Camera etc.
• Make a stop at the Mejiro Gardens.
• Visit the Waseda International House of Literature (The Haruki Murakami Library) at Waseda University.

Day 34: Tokyo (wildcard) [Friday, 15 Dec]
Spare day to do whatever I feel like doing OR reallocate this to another prefecture. Intentionally left blank for later planning
​
Day 35: Tokyo Home [Saturday, 16 Dec]

• Contemplate life at the hotel, doing whatever I feel like for the morning and early afternoon. Bonus: have an early breakfast at Tsukiji Market in the morning if staying at Ginza.
• Clear any last minute administrative matter (if any), or do (very) last minute sightseeing/buying. Most likely limited to Ginza and Akibahara.
• Get a nice lunch omakase to cap it off if possible. (taking recommendations if anyone has one, ideally meat/beef centric instead of just sushi).
• Head off to Narita from Tokyo Station via NEX just after lunch at 1430 1530 to Narita, flight at 1830.

END
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If you're still reading up to this point, here's my own personal ramblings/thoughts on JR pass usage:
I have thought of two ways of doing this for the first 21 days:
a. easy-mode : just get 21 days JR global pass before the price hike at 60450 yen, OR b. hard-mode: get a 7 day JR global pass (to cover the NEX fees, the basic fee on the Sunrise Seto to Shikoku, as well as limited express trains within Shikoku) (29650) + 5 days for JR Okayama Hiroshima Yamaguchi Area Pass (15000) + 4 days for JR Sanin Okayama Area Pass + 5 days for JR Kansai Wide Area Pass (10000) for a total of 59230.
The initial conclusion was to go with option A since that reduces the administrative burden, but I realized the individual passes do have its own perk which truimphs over the global JR pass. For instance, the Sanin Okayama Area Pass provides a (minor) discount for the Adachi Museum of Art; the Kansai Wide Pass covers the Kyotango route between Kinosaki Onsen and Amanohashidate which the global JR pass does not cover, JR Okayama Hiroshima Yamaguchi Area Pass covers JR buses within Hiroshima for free, therefore I am inclined to go with the hell option (option B) as it stands.
For the remaining 14 days, I could also get the global 14 day JR pass at 47250 yen but it is not worth it at all, because I will be relying largely on Kintetsu for the Osaka/Kyoto/Nara/Mie leg which the JR pass most certainly does not cover.

• For the Osaka/Nara/Mie/Kyoto leg, I intend to make good use of a mix of both local metro and the Kintetsu rail pass for 5 days (4900). If I do exploit Kintetsu's limited express train to its fullest, I should be able to save money by buying the pass. The Osaka Amazing Pass at 2600yen a day does not make financial sense for me this time round, given how little I am exploring within Osaka.
• For the Osaka Kanazawa, Shirakawago and Takayama leg, the preferred pass of choice is the Takayama-Hokuriku Area Tourist Pass over the global JR pass, in large part because this pass fully absorbs the Nohi highway bus fees (which can rack up quite a lot at ~8000yen for a return trip between Kanazawa and Shirakawago/Takayama). Also this absorbs the Thunderbird fee. One major issue with my current plan is that it does not cover Wakura Onsen nor the sightseeing train.
• For the final Kanazawa Tokyo leg, the preferred choice is the Horuriku Arch Pass that covers the direct Shinkansen back to Tokyo, and the NEX fees to Narita when I depart from Tokyo. Will only break even with the pass at best unless I make a stop at Nagano.

So all in all, there's quite little incentive to get the global JR pass after I worked out my schedule, apart from the initial 7 days for the Sunrise Seto jump which the All Shikoku Pass will not cover.
Through the hodge-podge of multiple area passes, it works out to around 102890 yen for the whole trip of 35 days, contrast with 107700 yen for a 21 + 14 global JR pass. While there's a minor cost saving doing the hard way which sweetens the deal, the additional minor perks associated with the area passes sells it for me, as I would had to pay more out of pocket to cover non-JR pass buses/rails and such which would add up to much greater cost than I would had anticipated. Also, if I did this trip post-price hike in October, the calculus becomes a no-brainer: avoid the global JR pass like the plague.
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Thank you very much for your opinions, suggestions and advice in advance!

Acts I to IV are available in my previous posts.

Act V: Queenbreaker

Returning home
Claire and Owen fly back to the US and in the arrivals hall of Reno's International Airport, they are greeted by a group of journalists who question them about the Dolomites Crisis, the role they played in it and if it's true that Claire and Wu, known to be sworn enemies, really did saved the world together. One of those journalists is Cassandra Landis (a character which appeared in my JW rewrite and TRQ, and some sort of minor recurring antagonist for Claire). When Landis asks Claire treacherous and inappropriate questions in addition to implying that she's a mythomaniac, the former park director punches her in the face in front of the cameras, knocking her out.
The end of Biosyn
Due to the death of Dodgson, Murdoch and almost the entirety of the board of directors (and its only survivor, Nathan Quinn, quickly retired from the corporation); the disastrous results of Auronzo valley's siege and invasion; and the breaking scandals, Biosyn is left leaderless, its stock exchange's value collapses and so does the company itself. The Cupertino HQ and other Biosyn installations across the US and the rest of the world are seen being vandalized and its anti-locust seeds destroyed by farmers during a protest.
Queenbreaker
In the DSD headquarters, Gibbon is having fun watching a parody video of Claire punching Cassandra Landis when Bigelow, who just returned from Italy, knocks at his door. They discuss her mission's failure, with Gibbon announcing he'll strip of her status by moving her to a simple desk job. They also talk about the mysterious attackers who raided the Citadel (Gibbon plans to blame the grey guards for the killings committed by those as part of the US government's anti-Grey Guard propaganda campaign) and Claire's various exactions in Auronzo (and more particularly the Hunting Lodge slaughter and the annihilation of Biosyn's board of directors), along with the fact that she and Henry Wu apparently saved the world from a GMO locusts-induced famine. Gibbon adds that people as idealistic and determined as Claire tend to easily fall in the dark side, create terrorist organizations, and that as a supposed world-saviour and charismatic figure, people will support or join her in droves, which might be quite a problem, moreover that empires tend to fall in her wake ("Who's going to be next after InGen and Biosyn?" he wonders); that following the Malta betrayal, the WDMC and the DSD are having some sort of war, and should Vuillier send Claire upon the DSD, the result won't be pretty. Luckily for them, the CIA anticipated the problem she'll become and started to move their pawns in preparation of Operation Queenbreaker, intending to make her pay for what she did to their ally Biosyn and put a spoke in Vuillier's wheels. However, after seeing Franklin in a nearby hallway, Gibbon adds that their conversation must remain a secret for the moment.
Bigelow leaves and Gibbon starts watching another video: Dodgson's presentation about the chips and the recording of the battle between the Carabinieri and the chip-controlled animals.
The DSD collects the testimonies of various people involved in the Auronzo Incident, especially those of Pellegrino and her men. When Bigelow realizes that the tyrannosaur freed by Claire is the same which killed Maisie, she tells her boss and he is satisfied by her discovery.
Soon, another division of the CIA launches Operation Queenbreaker. Online, agents spread the rumours about Claire's misdeeds with even extracts from the Citadel's CCTV footage (sent by Lucrezia Pellegrino) being put on the social media and new caricatures being made (depicting Claire as a bloodthirsty vampire or a rampaging dragon which kills indiscriminately). Meanwhile, a shot in the arm is given to the investigation about Claire's fatal errors when she was park director of Jurassic World and the misdeeds she committed during the Lockwood Estate incident and her missions for the WDMC.
The trial of Claire Dearing
One morning, Claire is arrested and brought to court.
She endures a humiliating trial during which all of her crimes, proven or alleged (fake news were thrown into the mix) are discussed.
One of Operation Queenbreaker orchestrators' most treacherous moves are having Karen, Claire's half-sister, testimony against her, claiming she's responsible for the death of her son Gray (which died in this AU, killed by the Indominus); and using Drummond's, Bigelow's, and Kayla's testimonies about the Dolomites incident, where the three of them said that a Tyrannosaurus ate Maisie Lockwood, to imply that the Lockwood heiress died because of Claire, as she released the very same animal which ended up killing the teenage girl. As being responsible for kids' death is a big no-no for the public opinion, Claire loses part of its support.
During the last session of her trial, Claire knows it's a lost battle and pleads guilty for the crimes she did commit (adding she'll "do it again" for the greatest good if needed) before delivering an ominous speech, in which she talks about the opposition between civilization and barbarism (how barbarism is Man's natural state. She uses herself as an example), Man and nature, how dinosaurs changed her, and why they fascinates and frightens us at the same time (according to her, it's because they are the avatar of a barbaric world to which the entirety of mankind once belonged. By submitting and exploiting them, it's like if Mankind tried to reassure itself about its superiority over Nature). She claims having seen the future, declares that the World of Men is ending and a new age is coming, that soon, the entire planet will become a new Isla Nublar, and that modern civilization will know the fate of Jurassic World. Having heard enough, the judge interrupts her and announce the verdict: She'll have a life sentence (in an earlier scene, a death sentence is discussed by the judge and some orchestrators of Operation Queenbreaker, with the judge saying he can't sentence her to death as it will spark massive outrage with possible disastrous consequences).
While Claire is escorted away, Vuillier contacts the WDMC's allies within the Costa Rican government. Outraged by what the government did to his de-facto wife, Owen tells his boss that he intends to accept whatever job the WDMC has for him in Europe or anywhere in the world but the US.
Sometime later, while public opinion is divided on the result of her trial (while some think she deserved this and is nothing but a bloodthirsty madwoman; others see in this trial nothing but political scheming), it's announced to Claire that she'll be extradited to Costa Rica, the official reason being that the biggest of her faults and the deadliest one (triggering the fall of Isla Nublar) happened on Costa Rican territory and that they thus want her locked in one of their prisons. Claire is transferred to Costa Rica.
The fate of Auronzo Valley
Negotiations about Auronzo Valley ends and a decision is approved by both the UN and the Italian government. It will become a true sanctuary co-managed by the WDMC and the local government.
Due to Claire's imprisonment, Vuillier proposes the position of sanctuary manager to Owen and the latter accepts, taking the position after his and Sigurd's emigration to Italy.
Nyamu's solution
While conversing with Nyamu, Vuillier laments that Claire is going to rot in jail while she deserves better. Nyamu suddenly has an idea. He tells the WDMC director that Claire might still work for them, in a place where her ruthless nature could be used for their benefit and be appreciated, a place where she'll be "out of sight" of Odegaard and far from the CIA's claws.
A few weeks later, in the Women's prison of San José, Claire receives the visit of not only Vuillier but also Rodrigue Santagar, their ally within the Costa Rican government (and a character we met in TRQ) Santagar tells her that in exchange for the help she and Owen provided four years ago, the government proposes her to transform her prison time in community service. When she asks the nature of this "community service", they tell her it consists in joining the Grey Guard and remaining exiled in the Five Deaths for ten years. Despite her lack of military or law enforcement background, the Guard's marshal and its council of captains voted in favour of her recruitment as they heard of her prowess during the Fall of Jurassic World, the 2019 incidents and her missions as a field agent for the WDMC. Claire accepts, as she could be still acting in favour of dinosaurs, in addition to taking less chances of being assassinated in prison on the CIA's orders.
Gibbon learns this and when someone ask him if he's worried about this decision, he answers that the grey guards have a dangerous life and that with luck, she'll get eaten by a dinosaur or murdered by a poacher soon enough, before adding that they'll keep an eye on her. He's satisfied that the WDMC pretty much abandoned North America, leaving the DSD in charge of every De-extinction-related issues there.
Into the West
In October, Claire is brought by Santagar and a couple of police officers to Caldera's harbour near Puntarenas, where a cargo ship named The Wanderer is waiting for her and the other new recruits for the Guard. Seeing Owen and their son Sigurd on the dock, she gets emotional and the Costa Ricans let her join them for a moment. She bids them farewell, with Owen promising to visit her in the Five Deaths whenever he gets the chance, and then, escorted by the recruits' overseers, she embarks on the ship.
Owen and Sigurd watch The Wanderer depart and head west, into the sunset.

Epilogue

Finally, the epilogue arrives. It consists of a montage of various scenes while Vuillier or Owen gives a speech which sums up the saga's whole story since the first Jurassic Park. Here's its structure:
- Introduction with our character declaring that the world has changed: Footage of the Sanctuary's raptor pack walking in a single file on top of some ridge while they cross the Alps. Their leader stops at some promontory and looks west, towards some lowlands. An attentive viewer will quickly glimpse Victoria in the file. We then cut to a forest where some wolves are eating a carcass when the Achillobators arrive. Both packs growl at each other and a fight is about to break out when a now adult Victoria suddenly arrives and stands by her pack. Outnumbered and intimidated by the larger predators, the wolves decide to abandon the carcass and flee, letting the dinosaurs take their meal; of a small fishing vessel somewhere in the Pacific being attacked and sunk by a Mosasaurus (while the adult featured in JW died, some of the WDMC characters talk about possible Mosasaurus sightings in the earliest parts of the story and mention the fact that a juvenile was also housed in JW when the park fell); of a military aircraft having an accidental and fatal collision with an InGen Pteranodon.
- The rise of InGen and the first de-extinction successes: Footage of the abandoned Embryonic administration on Sorna and Jurassic Park: San Diego; of Drummond wandering in the now deserted Lockwood Manor, exploring its museum and observing the model of Jurassic Park's visitor centre.
- The Fall of Jurassic World and InGen: Footage of the ruins of JW on Nublar and the former InGen HQ in Palo Alto (a location seen in TRQ).
- The downfall of other genetic engineering companies: Footage of some Mantah Corp complex (not the one from Camp Cretaceous' seasons 4 and 5. In this AU, the Mantah Corp island doesn't exist, thank goodness!); abandoned Grendel Corporation facilities in India and Cameroon; Biosyn's logos being removed in the Citadel by workers and other cleaning/doing repairs within the Biosyn facility.
- Loose de-extinct animals in the world: Footage of some Nasutoceratops in the Indian countryside; of a Spinosaurus (the one we saw in Biosyn's possession and which was carried out of the Sanctuary by the flood) swimming in the canals of Venice, arousing awe and wonder in locals and tourists; of a Biosyn Quetzalcoatlus flying over the countryside somewhere in Europe; a pack of InGen Compsognathus in some dark alley in sight of Hollywood, diving head first in the trash; a pair of Pectinodon in the jungles of Cameroon...
- Losses: Footage of the funerals of the Carabinieri who fell during the Battle of Auronzo; of Vincent Chapuy and a couple of other grey guards featured in this story in a memorial hall within Caer Draig (The Grey Guard's headquarters on Isla Sorna), melancholically looking at the names of those who died during the Maltese and Dolomites incidents (we also glimpse the names of some grey guards from the JW rewrite); of Drummond paying a visit to Maisie's and Theo's sepulchres in Lockwood Estate (Maisie has a plaque in her family's mausoleum while Theo has an empty grave outside near that of Iris', who died during the 2019 incident) ; of some room/hall/wing/laboratory in Stanford University being renamed after Henry Wu.
- The challenges and battles to come: Footage of Dougal and other WDMC field agents parking near the entrance of Mount Saint-Michel, running past fleeing tourists before looking up, toward the abbey at the top of mount, over which a Quetzalcoatlus (the same from earlier in the epilogue) is circling; of some unnamed genetic engineering company/ies creating new de-extinct creatures; of illegal exploitations and black markets.
- The importance of good collaboration: Footage of Guillaume Vuillier and his assistant Peggy Zubiri in the WDMC's new headquarters in Gland, Switzerland; of Drummond and Cesare welcoming Owen and his son Sigurd in Auronzo and watching dinosaurs in the valley together; of Kayla being shown her new plane and her and Bigelow going on some new adventure together (it's implied that Kayla now works for the DSD and that Gibbon changed his mind about Bigelow and decided to send her back on missions).
- The rampant Greed and Corruption: Footage of Senator Christine West in Washington, addressing questions about her close ties with Biosyn (she's in the middle of a corruption scandal) and walking away before being shot by a unknown sniper; of Giovanni Pazzi being dismissed from his position as Minister of the Interior after some whistle-blower (implied to be Viscontini) revealed that he was corrupted by Biosyn and warned Dodgson about the government's intents of taking Auronzo valley from him and arresting him.
- The looming threats and how Mankind's fate stand on an edge: Footage of Isaac Gibbon and other US government officials plotting in secret and DSD scientists working with embryos; of Claire, now in grey guard attire, standing at the top of a watchtower on some Isla Sorna ridge, looking at the ocean where she suddenly spots a suspicious ship in the distance (her eyes are seen ferociously locking on it); the final sequence, set at night, shows a Biosyn tyrannosaur looking at a town in the distance and letting out an otherworldly roar.
The End
​
Thanks for reading!
I'm aware that I might have taken a few controversial story decisions but I think that's part of the fun of rewrites like this one, do what filmmakers can't due to various reasons.
Please, let me know of your thoughts. I'll be happy do have a debate about my work.

Hello! I'm a somewhat famous hiker who's backpacked all over the country and climbed all of our major peaks and hiked nearly all of our national parks. I fell in Guadalupe last fall and tore my ACL+meniscus. I had surgery a few weeks ago after 6 long months of denial about the seriousness of my injury. I am recovering quickly which is great news, and I think I'll be able to hike again, but not this year. I need to spend the next ~9 months training to hike the PCT. All I have to hike in my area is a small hill which is only like half a mile long, but very steep. I usually do my training here, by going up and down it like 10-20 times a day, but I am so unbelievably tired of doing that. I also attract crowds at the trailhead and I'm tired of it. I need better ways to get into shape that don't cost a lot of money. I'm not a gym person, either. I hate gyms because there's always women there dressed like harlots trying to get my attention. Very annoying.
Anyway, what kind of mileage should I be able to do by the time I start the PCT? I was going to get a permit for NOBO in mid-march. I want to out pace the bubble and get ahead, and stay ahead, because I hate hiking with tons of other people. I want solitude.

[←Chapter 62] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 64→]
The students were quickly dismissed by the Mentor after Efrain declared a winner, who was desperate to do damage control.
“Okay, okay,” he said, brushing down his coat and coughing, “I see that we have failed to meet your standards. On behalf of the entire academy, I apologize immensely.”
Efrain, now that his temper had cooled, and upon realizing that he actually found the situation quite funny, put his hand on the man’s shoulder.
“No, no,” he laughed, “it was all merely an overreaction. Nicolo loved practical jokes. But, for all that, I doubt he would’ve continued teaching at this academy for years if he had no investment beyond it pranking me.”
And just like that, the man’s hope was restored.
“Yes, yes of course,” he said, “although I suggest you not tell what the inscription says to the other faculty. Some have spent… years on it.”
“No wonder, it’s a personal language we made up when we were youths. It’s a ramshackle, cobbled together thing, nigh-impossible to figure out, unless one was inflicted by the insight of drunken insanity.”
The man laughed, Efrain laughed, and he looked around at the academy’s towers and bridges.
“Well, he did fine for himself, clearly,” Efrain said, “even married an Eisen. Its good to know he spared some thought for me, even if it was to pull one over in death. Now I can’t even get revenge now. Clever bastard.”
“Yes, quite,” said the man, coughing, “now, I would be happy to show you to your office. It’s one of our finest.”
The whole situation wasn’t merely funny, he decided, it was hilarious. Unfortunately for Nicolo, Efrain still remembered some of his more embarrassing exploits. He wondered if the man had a biography that was taught - perhaps it needed some correction by a primary source.
“Well, lead on,” he said to the Mentor.
They proceeded from one of the lower bridges to the largest of the four connected towers. The panelled walls were both old and expensive, indicating that the school was indeed more than a joke Students of multiple ages and stripes went this way and that, some carrying books, others merely chatting among friends. Several more hallways and a staircase or two later, the mentor stood before a tall door.
“And here it is,” he said, puffing out his chest with pride, “one of our best.”
“That’s the second time,” Efrain noted, and the man self-consciously pushed open the door, revealing a narrow room.
It was comfortable, with a large desk taking up most of the space, a small bed and stove tucked into the corner. The wall behind the desk was mostly of modest bookshelves, stocked with tomes, some familiar, others not so much. A single, large window, open shutters flung outward, looked out toward the center of the city. The mentor looked around, and then at Efrain, clearly anxious to please.
“Wonderful,” Efrain said, “I hope I’m not depriving anyone of their space for my short stay.”
“No, no, not at all,” the mentor said, “in fact, your timing was fortuitous. One of the professors has elected to retire.”
“Ah,” Efrain said, sitting in the large chair behind the desk.
“You must be exhausted,” said the Mentor, hovering by the door, “I suppose I’ll just come and check on you in the morning. Supposedly your group is to attend the Festival as honoured guests.”
“News to me,” Efrain said, leaning back as he looked out the open window.
“Would you like a change of clothes, a meal, water to bathe in?” said the man.
“No, thank you,” Efrain said, “in fact, I wouldn’t mind a brief tour, actually.”
The man’s face lit up in response to the casual suggestion - clearly he took pride in the institution.
“Yes, yes, why of course, I would be happy to,” he said, “when would you like to begin?”
“Now,” Efrain said, getting up from his chair and moving past the man.
“Actually, now that I think of it, the last of the evening classes should be just starting,” said the Mentor, “would you like to sit in on one. It uses your books.”
A couple minutes, and Efrain was sitting in the back of a small room, dozens of fresh-faced students looking back between him and a professor at a lectern.
“So, as we discussed in the last class,” said the old man with a beard hanging over his considerable stomach, “actually, who would dare to tell me what is the ultimate goal of magic.”
Efrain was busy rifling through the provided textbook on the matter, his apprehension growing with every page that he passed. He’d forgotten just how bad some of his earliest work had been, and now was reliving his mistakes with vivid horror. Several hands rose, and a young girl who couldn’t be more than twelve was selected.
“Magic is a purest expression of the human,” she said, clearly reciting what she’d learned by heart, “it is an attempt to get away from the base naturalness of ourselves and transcend into something greater.”
Efrain stifled a groan as he heard his early and more poetic pondering on magics parroted back at him.
The class continued on until Efrain couldn’t stand it any longer. The professor was in the middle of explaining how magic could be derived from the environment, which was correct, but that was inferior in all cases to simply deriving it from oneself, which wasn’t. Efrain snapped the booklet shut as loud as he could, drawing the gaze of everyone in the class.
“Alright,” he said, getting up, “we need to stop. Stop. All of this is a mistake.”
The professor, quite confused, looked towards the mentor for any sign that he should intervene. The mentor merely shook his head as Efrain stalked towards the lectern.
“My good man, take a seat for a little while,” Efrain said, “there are some errors of mine I have to correct.”
He gripped the edges of the lectern, trying to decide how best to approach this, and begun by clearing his throat.
“Is knowledge truth?” he said, prompting a rash of confused stares.
He departed from the lectern, and walked in front of the students.
“Again, is knowledge truth? Is knowledge automatically, by definition, true?”
“Well, yes,” said a young man slowly.
“Ah,” Efrain said, rounding on him, “so, if I were to stumble on half a conversation a noblewoman has about some innocent meeting she had with a young man, mistook it for an affair, and reported it to her husband, would I be lying?”
“Well, yes, kind of?” said the boy, his brows furrowing. Several of the other students blushed at the impropriety of the statement.
“But that was using the knowledge I possessed, and if knowledge is truth, then where is the lie?” Efrain said, sitting on the edge of the table, “all I did was relay my knowledge, hence, relay the truth to my friend, her husband.”
“I- I-,” said the boy, “then you were misinformed.”
“Precisely,” Efrain said, taking the book from before him and walking back to the front of the class to raise it before the children.
“The truth cannot lie, by definition, but knowledge can, implying that it is a distinct entity from the truth,” Efrain said, as he rounded the lectern.
“Perhaps it is not a matter of relaying the truth,” called the mentor from the back, “but inferring the truth only from half-knowledge.”
Efrain pointed the booklet towards him.
“And that is why he is a mentor and you are still students,” Efrain said, “but what is the point I hear you asking?”
A few genuinely seemed to think he could hear their thoughts and shrank back from this strange, belligerent man.
“The point is this - the books you’re reading are nonsense. Inferences made from a tiny amount of knowledge, by an overconfident idiot.”
The professor started forward at this sacrilege of the texts, but the mentor held him back.
“Now, if you’re intelligent, which I’m sure all of you are, you should be asking about now, ‘how could he possibly know? Who is he to come into our class and start making such claims?’ That’s good,” Efrain paused, and pointed to the cover.
“Would someone care to read me the title of this particular text?” he said.
One of the students, another boy, looked down and began to say in a high, weedly voice.
“Basic Principles of Magic: A Treatise,” he said, looking up to see if he’d somehow passed whatever test Efrain was given him.
“Keep going young man,” Efrain said, nodding him on.
“W-written by Nicolo Eisen, Efrain Belacore, and Avidius Armsted, compiled by Nicolo Eisen and Avidius Armsted.”
“Which is to say, ‘principally written by Efrain Belacore and Avidius Armsted, with footnotes of historical nature by Nicolo Eisen.’ He was always more interested in the history anyways,” Efrain said, slapping the book on the lectern.
The children all looked back and forth between each other, trying to see if any had an understanding better than themselves.
“To answer your question,” Efrain said, “the reason I both possibly know and get to come into your class and make such claims is that I am the middle name on your textbook.”
The explosion of curiosity and confusion was a delight to Efrain, who held up the book to the ceiling, pointing to it.
“To be clear, my name, young ones, is Efrain Belacore, and I’m here to tell you why half of my book is wrong, and the other half is incomplete.”
The class sat in dumbfounded silence, trying to gauge what the appropriate response to such information could possibly be.
“Let’s start with something simple, though, young lady,” Efrain pointed to the young girl who’d given the first definition to start the class.
“Y-Yes, professor?”
“Restate your definition, if you’d be so kind,” he said, which she did word for word.
“I wrote that line when I was under the impression that magic was apart from the natural world,” Efrain said, “in the sense that it could be used to transform it, to add value to it, much like some artists will say that their paintings cut through to the soul of the subject, removing the mortal veil on top of it or some hogwash like that.”
Efrain walked in front of the class.
“We are all part of the natural world, even if we strive to rise above it, whatever that means,” Efrain said, “you get cut, you bleed, you do that enough you die, your body returns to the earth, and so on and so forth. Magic is an extension of all those natural processes, not something apart from it. So, young men and women, do not spurn the world in the pursuit of magic.”
Efrain spied a beautifully made pin, stuck in the hair of a young woman.
“Excuse me, could I borrow that for a moment?” he said, gesturing to the pin.
“Uh, y-yes, sure,” she said, hastily pulling out the pin and letting her hair fall around her shoulders as she presented it to him.
“Thank you very much,” he said, as he held up the pin.
“Right, do not spurn it in the pursuit of magic, rather, embrace it. Seek inspiration in it,” Efrain said, focusing on the butterfly motif.
Again, unbidden, the memories of exploding light and claps of sound.
Copies of the exact butterfly carven on the head of the pin streamed out, following trails of light to explode into pinwheels of light. The children shrieked, at first in fear than in delight as the show continued, and Efrain handed the pin back to its owner. She looked at the pin in what seemed like awe, checking it over for any alteration.
“The pin is intact,” Efrain said, “like I said - inspiration. I had no need to change it.”
The mentor was by his side, clapping at the show.
“I say, marvellously, marvellously done,” he said, “a finer display of magic I’ve never seen. You truly are a master.”
“If that passes for a ‘fine display’, mentor, you are easy to please,” Efrain chuckled, “now, I suggest we leave the poor professor to his work.”
“Oh, I don’t think so,” the Mentor said, “after all, you’ve just ruined the integrity of the text he taught from! Students, you are dismissed from your studies for the day. Emilio, take a break for tonight, me and master Efrain have some discussions to have.”
It crossed Efrain’s mind that he might’ve just signed up for some extensive work in the near future. This however, was his academic integrity, and he wasn’t about to let those notes be his legacy, if he was going to have one. They took up the conversation in the hallway, leaving the students filing out behind them.
“That was simply incredible,” the mentor said, “I’m shocked that you were able to do it off the cuff. Just like that.”
“It was nothing,” Efrain said, “and that’s not self-praise, mentor. If you’re not able to do simple illusions of light like, then ‘my’ books have led you astray.”
Efrain stopped to look out through a window, seeing the central pyramid and its rooftop garden. “Though that’s not entirely fair to Nicolo and Armsted. I’ve been travelling and studying for nigh-on two centuries since I left. I’ve learned much more than what they were left to work with.”
When Efrain turned back to the man, he found that he was bowing low.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh please, master Efrain,” said the man, “please, led us back to greatness.”
“What?”
“You are truly, the most knowledgeable, the most revered, the most brilliant-”
“Stop that,” Efrain said, “I left my patience for flattery about a half-thousand miles west. Say what you mean, plainly.”
He tried to tell himself that was the truth, but he couldn’t deny it made his chest swell to hear such things, especially after so long on his own.
“We need you,” said the man, astonishing Efrain as he wiped tears from his eyes, “we are but children, stumbling around-”
“Do you do this with every guest?” Efrain said, trying to tamp down on the delight he felt.
“What? N-no. Be the mentor! I will gladly renounce it, if you are there to take the place. Lead our school, master Efrain!”
Efrain held his face as he considered what the man had just said.
“No,” he said, quashing the image of mentor Efrain squarely and firmly right there.
“B-but why?” the mentor blubbered, “anything you want, I’ll give it to you, anything! Name it and-”
“But I will rewrite those gods-damned books you have. Fill them with my current knowledge, which is far superior than that poetic dreck that I made back in the day,” Efrain said, “I would not be able to live with myself, if I left you with that swill.”
“Oh thank you! Thank you!” said the mentor, clasping his hands.
“Now, let’s get back to my office,” Efrain said, “I’m finding myself quite tired of this whole affair.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” said the man, straightening himself and gesturing the way.
“Tell me,” Efrain said, “your begging seems to indicate that the academy’s future is dire.”
“Oh, it’s bad,” sighed the man heavily, “we simply haven’t been able to produce things that are of much use. It is our shame, and as such, we’ve moved much of the studies to other, more practical subjects. Maths, history - magic is quickly becoming a pure pursuit of knowledge. The Eisen matriarch seems not to mind, but Poutash, and many of the established houses, well…”
Efrain nodded as he climbed the main stairs, shuffling by students. He tried to ignore the irrational guilt that plagued him. He’d just managed to put a lid on it as they reached the office, where within he sank into the chair. The mentor stood nervously by the door, almost like an attending student, not the director of a school. Efrain wondered how he got the position in the first place.
“Well, that was enlightening,” Efrain said, “I’ll retire now, I think.”
“Of course,” said Avencia, “yes, we shall leave you to it. I will have dinner sent up.”
“No need, we had some in the city,” Efrain said, “I don’t eat all that much anyways. Tell me, are there any particular teas you’d recommend? Local speciality or imported, I don’t care.”
The man thought for a few moments.
“I would have to ask someone else, but I will send up a set as soon as possible,” he said.
“Oh, and the books,” Efrain said, reclining back on the chair and looking out the window.
“Which books?” said the man excitedly.
“All of them. Any of them that bear my name,” Efrain said, “In fact, just send me all your core texts for magic. If I need any sort of historical references, I’ll make up a list while I’m reading them.”
The man practically stumbled over himself, thanking Efrain profusely and indicating that the entire curriculum would be sent up, as well as paper and ink. When the door shut, the quiet seemed almost unnatural to Efrain after the busy day he’d had. He picked up a book from the shelf, some piece of Karkosian history from a man he’d never heard of.
He sat back down in the chair, and curiously, he found his eyesight beginning to swim as he tried to parse the page. His body felt… heavy, exhausted even. He tried to resist it, tried to fight it as the book fell open on his lap, but his vision darkened, and soon Efrain had drifted off to sleep.
[←Chapter 62] [Cover Art] [My Links] [Index] [Discord] [Subreddit] [Chapter 64→]

I'm on day 18 and my husband is going out of town for a week tomorrow. I'm afraid I'm going to get bored and slip up without him here to support/distract me, so I made a list of things I could do instead of reordering and smoking weed when I get tempted. Hopefully this inspires some of you to stay on track too, the temptation is so hard to resist when you're alone...

1. Go shopping
2. Visit Donkey Farm
3. Work Out
4. Stepping
5. Stretch
6. Drink Tea
7. Play Piano
8. Play Video Games
9. Read
10. Watch TV Shows/Movies
11. Take a bath
12. Play with cat
13. Cook
14. Go for a walk
15. Chat with AI
16. Phone a friend
17. Go to the Zoo
18. Spend the day at a park
19. Go Hiking
20. Meditate
21. Tarot
22. Catch up on Work
23. Clean the house
24. Reorganize things
25. Declutter
26. Work on my website
27. Go swimming
28. Make plans with friends
29. Go to the city and explore
30. Go see a movie in theaters
31. Journal
32. Draw
33. Paint
34. Visit Shoni's Memorial
35. Go to the beach
36. Volunteer somewhere
37. Take a nap
38. Take a shower
39. Get Bubble Tea or Coffee
40. Schedule a therapy session
41. Go to the spa/sauna
42. Go down an interwebz rabbit hole
43. Masturbate
44. Choreograph a Dance Routine
45. Practice Singing
46. Order takeout
47. Call husband
48. Go to the farmer's market
49. Visit a museum
50. Roll around on the floor

Do you know how some decisions in life just feel so right? Imagine a nice warm pizza right out of the oven. The pizza is covered in gooey cheese, warm meats, and whatever else will delight the eyes and nose so late into the night. So image, if you will, going out for just the briefest of seconds to enjoy the crisp feel of the fall air on your face. You come back to the apartment building that you, and appropriately 50 or 60 of your neighbors call home, only to find smoke billowing down the halls as you suddenly remember that you turned on the burner, and not the oven to preheat, and the smoke is from that pizza you left on the stove. If you feel like burrowing down the deepest hole after reading that, just remember that you are not alone. In the last week, I have taken a job at a hydroelectric power station as an operator, which at the time felt like an easy no-brainer decision. The job description was nothing if not a little enticing. There was a hefty sign-on bonus, more money than even I thought I was worth, and housing courtesy of the Corps of Engineers, which consider the aforementioned fire above, I needed pretty badly. My name is Kate Fugate, I am 24, and in so, so much, debt that I have moved to a small town in the northern Appalachia wilderness hoping to carve out a life here. The town is very small, having a few local stores primary consisting of convenience stores, gas stations, and dollar stores. The town is deeply forested and has recently had the honor of having this vast area be designated a National park. The houses are sandwiched into a sharp valley, consisting of a river, sprawling train tracks, and speckled with bridges of all makes and builds. If you were to come here at night, and I very much doubt you would be here at night, you might also take notice of the emergency room-slash-post office combination with twinkling neon lights. If you plan on staying here for very long, and once again, I doubt it, you should get to know the staff. The main attraction, and the reason that I am christening this journal, is that as much as I would like to believe otherwise, this place is weird but we will get into that more a bit later. What should be the most prominent feature of the town, the dam, is actually not in town. It is about 15 miles upstream, hidden on an unmarked road nestled in a forgotten corner of the park. This fortress spans the length of the river from hill to hill, and is a huge concrete wall with an office building made of brick and a stunningly massive art -deco window spanning the two floors of this structure neatly tucked off the side like an after thought. There are massive, brilliant flood lights spanning the entire length of the dam and stretching pretty far upstream. The concept is pretty simple, water goes in, spins turbines, and comes out on the other side, and creates the miracles that we all know and love: electricity. In addition, this place prevents flooding and is an all-around great place for serving the town as an early indicator for fires and other disasters. To make matters even more excruciatingly boring and downright fucking frustrating is that there no cell or internet connections to the dam or the cabin nearby that I get to call home. The formal answer I got back for this pile of fake manure is that the cell tower determined the population to “insignificant” to put a cell tower in this area, which I can almost buy. The sorry excuse for the internet is that the park service determines this spot too high of a national security threat and doesn’t want the risk of Russians destroying the place or something, this reasoning being absolutely shit if you ask me. In order to still get a tiny shred of civilization, I have to climb a stairway to heaven itself up a fire tower, on a hill to get just enough Wi-Fi to keep some semblance of sanity. And let me tell you, my ass is burning, my tounge is dry, and my lungs are one iota from exploding from the effort, and it is worth it. My first day here started off with my coworker, Sam, showing up two hours late for our designated meeting. He was dressed in bright white pants and a striped plunging v-neck tiger shirt and I would be lying if I didn’t say my first impression was trying to find a camera crew, because I was just certain that someone was trolling with me. He was average height, approximately 35, black hair, blue eyes, and very well groomed hair, and huge muscular arms and, all-in-all, gave off an energy that he thought he was a very pretty boy. We shake hands, before he cocks his head and give me a quizzical look, “Hey I noticed on your paperwork, is your name actually —“ I cut him off hard and fast, “Yes, it is. My parents were a bit, well, downright eccentric, alright? Don’t use that name, don’t even remember it alright. Do me a favor and call me Kate, Katie if you prefer.” He looks a bit taken aback and I feel a shred of remorse for the hostility, “Can do, may name is Samuel Carrington but Sam sounds more approachable if you wouldn’t mind using that.” We take a quick tour of the facility going into the offices, him quickly pointing out the landlines, emergency switches, exits, ect. He goes over the more technical aspects of the job, but then stops right before going into the turbine room, looks me dead in the eye with more seriousness than I thought was possible. “There are only a handful of rules you absolutely must follow: 1. Treat the equipment well, it is fucking EXPENSIVE and a lot of it is specialized. There is no hydroectric repair store just sitting around the corner. 2. Do not leave the site. I am dead serious about this one. Do. Not. Leave. The. Site. The only time you can leave is if you have someone competent here. I am only here two days a week as I have other obligations with the government, as you know the rest is up to you until we can get more people here. 3. Don‘t turn off the turbines for any reason. There are people downstream that stake their lives on the continual operation of this place. 4. If, for whatever reason, this place can not operate due to exceptional circumstances, or can no longer contain the river you must activate the emergency system. In addition to letting out an alert, it allows for people to know in advance to get to higher ground. This is critical, we are the only thing preventing everyone downstream a brutal watery demise.“ We head continue the turbine room talk about more dull operating procedures and then stop by a small office space. Sam stops and swings open the door which reveals all of a tiny efficiency apartment. “This is my room while I am here, if you need anything feel free to swing by.” He gives me a wink as I contemplate vomiting on his stupid gold tasseled shoes “We have a cabin for you since no other apartments exist and it was left furnished by my last guy.” We walk a short gravel path uphill to a small old cabin with a porch. He swings open the door, leaving very little to the imagination. Bed and mattress, fridge, stove, fill nearly all the available space. Right smack in the middle of the table sits a pissed off mostly hairless cat, that jumps off the table gives us a hiss for good measure and runs off into the woods. “Look, we can probably get rid of that if you want. I have no clue how it got in here, or hey, look at it this way! You already have a built in roommate! Feel free to decorate this place anyway you want, if you want I can go get us some food, and I can help you move in. Tomorrow I can go on a grocery run.” I open the cabinet to find an assortment of canned oddities left over from the last occupant. “No, that really won’t be necessary, but thank you so much for the offer.” I say trying to be nice. And then the thought occurred to me that this guy is being perhaps a bit too friendly. “Hey, is it alright if I have some, umm, well, overnight friends over? Very special female friends?” I asked trying to be subtle to see if that would discourage him. “Well douse me in gasoline and toss me a match. Are you a lesbian? That is so freaking awesome! I love chicks too, how cool is that? I shoulda known what with the flannel and pickup truck.” He says, totally oblivious to my growing acceptance that this guy was mostly harmless, if not a touch stupid. Sam cracks open the fridge, and rapidly shuts it back, as a slightly warm pungent smell swaggers into the room. “Yeah, definitely gonna get some real groceries tomorrow.” “Yep, that’s me, I’m a super lesbian.” I lie feeling like this statement may come back and haunt me. I turn on the kitchen facet as black water spills out. Sam looks at it a little concerned, “Might want to let that run for a bit, if it doesn’t clear soon, I’ll look into having it fixed. But look, seriously, if you need any help at all, don’t hesitate to call. This place is pretty spooky and it is easy to get hurt or in trouble out here. I’ve only been here about 3 months and my last coworker got pretty messed up. I liked him pretty well and it is an easy, if not boring job but it can take a toll.” Sam stepped out on the porch shooting a slightly nervous look at the woods before looking back at me. I waved him out, “It is alright, I’m fine, I can take care of myself. I will see you bright and early in the morning.” Sam nodded at me with me with a warm smile and made the short trek back to the dam. Night swiftly fell, and I was clutching my stomach off loading the contents into the porcelain alter for a cruel sadistic god. I hadn’t checked the expiration date too closely before downing a can of beef tounge I had found in the cabinets, which in retrospect was such a fuckingly stupid move on my part. I stepped back into the main living area to see just a swift glint of metal, before listening to the “Crash” as my widow was busted in and a hand swiftly unlocked the door from the inside. “Shit, this is real bad.” My brain thought. As my body tensed for a fight, in walked a figure in a green ranger uniform. The guy was 26-27, 5’11, light brown hair, green eyes, fair skin. He looked absolutely furious but satisfied. “I got you now, you jackass arsonist.” He says, grabbed me by the arms and tossing me on a stuffed chair hard. I feel a flash of pain on my ass as I land. “Damn, I realllly hope that wasn’t a needle.” I think as jump back up. Now, he looked back at me with with sheer bewilderment in his eyes. “OH shit, oh shit, I am gonna die.” I feel dread sneak into me as I scramble looking around. I take up a knife from the counter and plunge it into his hand. He lets out a yelp and given me a kick to my already twisted stomach. ”This is it.” I think as I land on the ground, and take the chance to grab his leg while it is still in the air. I push forward as he stumbles backwards. “Wait, but your not -“ he tries to slide out of the cabin but I pull down his socks and bite like a rabid dog, with all the energy I had. I taste a glint of metal. He starts really letting his lungs work now before coming to his senses again and grabs a fire extinguisher off the porch and hits me squarely with it. My vision swiftly faded to white after that. My next memory has me coming back to consciousness in a hospital room. I am under a blanket with cows on it, and look over to see a shitty thin blue curtain with yellow ducks on it. As I try to piece back my memory, I hear a commotion on the other side of the curtain. One female voice nearly splitting my ears says, “Are you a dumbass? You look like one to me dumbass. You obviously weren’t thinking, dumbass. God, what a dumbass.” Another male voice joins in, ”A girl, you beat a harmless girl senseless. And the poor thing was starting the job at the power plant. If you weren’t in already in the hospital, I’d put here, but to be fair that would make Dr. Sanders work harder, and unlike you I actually like the guy.” An older man wearing a white coat comes in about this time who I presume is the aforementioned individual, gives me the mouth zipping motion, a wink and walks to the other side of the curtain. “Well, she’s dead. You may as well see your handiwork.” The old doctors says. A younger voice pipes up, “B-B-But it was an accident. I didn’t mean-“ The curtain flies open to reveal two police officers, a short and slightly heavy male and a tall African American woman. Both looking ready to kill the park ranger in bed with his hand bandaged up. The young man looks at me absolutely horrified. I can’t help but let out a small snicker at the scene. The white haired doctor cracks up at the look of pure indignation I shoot park ranger. “She’ll be fine.” He says. The two officers looked a bit more at ease. Dr. Sander then goes on to say after sitting down on the edge of my bed, “You spooked us just a bit there, that one over there” he points to the park ranger, “sprayed you down with a fire extinguisher and caused some temporary asphyxiation.” The guy piped up, “I am so so so sorry. My name is Reuben, call me Ben. I’m so sorry, I had you mistaken for someone else. I’ll make this up to you. I really really fucked this up. Please don’t hate me,” he says. He was genuine, I fully believed that. “Glad you said, that Ben, because I’m pretty sure I need a door now. My name is Katie.” I went over and gave him a light smack to the back of the head. Dr. Sanders gave a puzzled look and picked my chart off the bed, “Wait, isn’t your name -,”. I stopped him, “Yep, it is, please for the love of all that is holy, just don’t.” After that, the female officer who’s name I learned was Talia, dropped me back off at the dam the next morning. Sam who had only the vaguest of ideas of what had gone on that night was filled in by Talia of the rest of the details and she quickly leaves afterwards leaving a cloud trail in the gravel. “Well,” Sam says “I guess this means your leaving.” “Are you kidding?” I say, “I only just got here.” Sam cracks a wide smile, “You’re in luck then, I forgot to show you something yesterday.” We go into the dam, down into the basement under the water level under the turbine rooms. I gasp as I look into the room, it was beautiful. There was a massive window looking out underwater. I could swear for the slightest second though that a fish swam by, displaying three eyes, and a sharp row of teeth. I knew in that moment that this river holds terrible and dark secrets and I had not even dipped toe in them. This is Katie, signing off, until next time.

Basics

My wife and I spent 14 days in Japan in May 2023, our first time in Japan (or anywhere in Asia). We usually got between 8-12 miles daily, though some of that was somewhat by choice, as in places like Hiroshima the transit within the city takes nearly as long as walking, and walking is preferrable to see and experience the city.
All the tips on here and those answering questions on Discord really helped plan things.

What I learned

Pay attention to the square footage of your room. We got a room at an APA in Osaka where it was literally impossible for both of us to stand up simultaneously. Luckily all of our subsequent hotels had room for us both to get dressed at the same time.
Get hotels with onsens/spas. We booked exclusively hotels with onsens/spas. This was crucial. It’s such a great day-ender to go up there for a soak in the hot/cold pools and sauna. They give you robes/lounge clothes and slippers to wear up there. It’s just incredibly cozy. Made me wish it was winter.
Japan is super easy to travel, the easiest country I’ve been to. It seems the country as a whole and everyone in it is extremely detail oriented and considers every possible issue. I’ve never seen workers tasked with holding up a screen for pedestrian protection around a man trimming the lawn until Japan. I’ve never seen a tour bus driver feather-dusting his bus until Japan. Everyone is so calm. I think I heard one person yell in two weeks. Everybody was super patient with our lack of Japanese and general lack of knowledge of their culture.
Note: We’re not really foodies. When traveling we usually just eat whenever we get so hungry that we must, plus the Japanese cuisine doesn’t mesh with our tastes, so this will be light on food.

Day by day

Day 0: Arrived at Haneda in the afternoon, got PASMO cards and caught train to Shinagawa. Then we took the Nozomi to Osaka, purchasing tickets in advance via Smart-Ex. All went smoothly despite the jet lag.
Day 1: Osaka. Mini-pig café, Don Quijote, wandered the neighborhood to the northeast of Umeda Station checking out shops, finished the day in a small bar in Dotonbori.
Day 2: Osaka area. In the morning, we rode out to Nara to see Todai-Ji and the bowing deer. The temple was stunning. In the afternoon, we went to a Hanshin Tigers game, which was great, though we were baking in the sun. It’s crazy how many beer vendors Japanese baseball games have. I didn’t go 30 seconds without a beer girl passing by. We ended the day with dinner at Snow Lion, a Nepali restaurant that was extremely tasty.
Day 3: We activated our JR West Sanyo-San-in Area passes and headed west on the bullet train then a slow Sanyo Line train, bound for Onomichi. I rented a bike from Trek, took the ferry to Setoda and rode the Shimanami Kaido. I rode a bit south after I got off the ferry in Setoda, across the next big bridge. Then I turned around and biked back to Onomichi. It was a beautiful ride, but the parts near the Onomichi end could be skipped. Too much traffic and development. While I did this, my wife wandered around Onomichi, visiting Cat Alley and taking a ropeway ride. After that, we met up and headed for Ōkunoshima, aka Rabbit Island. This was a cool little side trip, but not sure it was worth the time expenditure. Finally, we ended the long day traveling to Hiroshima to check into our hotel. Family Mart was our main meal, because the restaurants in Tadano-Umi were all closed on Monday, and we had time to kill before the next train back to Mihara.
Day 4: We took a train and ferry trip to Miyajima and took the ropeway to the top, then walked the rest of the way to the top. It’s a beautiful island, but pretty tourist trap-ish. Later in the day we picked up Carp tickets for a future date, then checked out the Atomic Bomb Dome at night. The main meal, at Okonomiyaki Teppan-yaki Momiji-Tei, was extremely good Okonomiyaki.
Day 5: Day trip to Hakata, with a stop for the Hello Kitty exhibition at a hall near Shin-Yamaguchi Station. After Hello Kitty, we headed to Nanzoin, the reclining buddha statue and temple. It’s a wonderful place, the nice ladies at the train station will loan you some cover-up cloth if you have tattoos or your shorts are too short. After Nanzoin, we got some Hakata ramen at Ramen Stadium in the giant mall, then wandered the streets of Hakata a bit, stopping at Kushida-jinja Shrine. Back in Hiroshima that evening, we visited Sam’s Café, an American-themed bar with more memorabilia than you’d think possible. The proprietor is a wonderful older gentleman who loves America.
Day 6: We started the day at the Peace Museum. This is an extremely moving visit. A late breakfast here featured the fluffiest egg souffle I’ve ever seen. Later, we went to the Carp game.
Day 7: Shinkansen to Himeji Castle. We scheduled ourselves a four-hour layover, which was just about perfect to walk up there, see the castle and walk through it, check out the garden, and walk back without feeling rushed and with time to grab train snacks. Then we caught the Super Hakuto to Kurayoshi where we met a friend and ended the day with some onsen time at Izanro Iwasaki in Misasa Onsen.
Day 8: Tottori Sand Dunes, Sand Museum and a trip to Refresh park Yumura, which is a very nice onsen with the standard indoor, gender-separated areas, plus some cool outdoor spots for all genders, including a little cave. You wear a swimsuit for the outdoor parts.
Day 9: I wasn’t feeling great, so I did nothing while my wife and friends went to Lake Togo area near Kurayoshi for a waterfall hike. Then we boarded the Super Hakuto for Kyoto, where we stayed.
Day 10: We got an early start to see as many temples as possible in Kyoto before our 1pm train to Tokyo. We were able to get to Kiyomizu-dera, Ginkakuji and Shimogamo-jinja before time ran out. We used the city bus, which wasn’t that bad. They weren’t quite on time and we had to let a couple pass by at the very start of our day because they were too crowded. We added our PASMO card numbers into the Smart-Ex app so boarding the Shinkansen was super easy. In Tokyo, we stayed in Ueno, which was a great spot with good accessibility to the rest of the city and lots of action and places to eat and drink.
Day 11: We started with a trip to Sanrio Puroland, which took even longer than planned due to some train delays. Our train went out of service at some point on the trip. Puroland is kind of odd. But it wasn’t too expensive and my wife loved it. On the way back we stopped at Gotokuji Temple, the waving cat temple and later caught a glimpse of the waving cat train at the nearby Miyanosaka Station. For a nightcap, we checked out Asakusa Rockza.
Day 12: Shopping/sightseeing in Akihabara. Yodobashi Camera is absolutely massive. I preferred it over Bic Camera. After some other miscellaneous shopping near Tokyo Station, we later walked from our hotel over to this cat-themed bar.
Day 13: Near Nippori Station there’s a cat-centric neighborhood, Yanaka Cat Town. We stopped at a cat store or two as well as a cat art gallery. I got a great foot massage in this area, as well. This area was so cool we skipped out on our tickets to TeamLabs. For a nightcap, we went to one place in Golden Gai. That area is absolutely overrun with tourists.
Day 14: It was super rainy, and we didn’t have all that much time to kill before our flight, so we checked out the Tobu train museum. Definitely worth a visit if you like trains. Though kind of hard to figure out how to drive the trains if you don’t speak Japanese. Then we proceeded to Narita on the Skyliner. Note, there’s a slight discount for foreigners if you buy online.

So, my wife (29F) and myself (27F) have been living at our current apartment for little under two years now. The way our building is set up, it's a three floor building, divided into three sections, with six apartments and only one staircase in each section. We're on the top floor. This is somewhat important for later.
Back in November, we had new neighbors move in to the apartment directly below us: a husband (We'll call him John) and wife (We'll call her Jane), who was expecting their first kid soon, and their two dogs (a German Shepherd and a Chow). My wife and I have two dogs ourselves (a bloodhound mix and a Labrador mix), and these were the first neighbors in our section to have dogs too, so we were really excited, maybe our dogs could have some friends. However, I found out last week that these neighbors were essentially trying to sabotage me and my wife being able to live here by essentially filing a whole bunch of false complaints against us. And the thing is: we've only had five interactions with these neighbors. I'll include rough dates these happened so you can understand how sporadic these interactions were, too.
Interaction 1 - I ran into Jane while she was walking her dogs as I was getting ready to go to the store about two weeks after they moved in. We exchanged hellos, I got to meet her dogs, and it was just the typical "welcome to the apartment complex, good to finally meet you" kind of stuff
Interaction 2 - Happened around New Years' Eve 2022. As I was coming down the stairs to take my dogs out, Jane was just coming back up with her dogs. While the interaction definitely wasn't great, it definitely could have gone worse. My dogs did pull the leashes out of my hand, but all they did was essentially shoulder check her dogs and bark as a form of posturing, and thankfully no one got bit. She did call the office and file a report, and we all (landlady, the neighbors, and myself and wifey) agreed that my dogs will have mesh muzzles on whenever they're outside to limit how much they can open their mouths. These muzzles do not restrict the dogs' breathing in any way, shape, or form.
Interaction 3 - Happened in late Feb. Wifey and I were coming home from a date night where we went out to eat and went to Barnes & Noble to pick up the next book in the Heaven Official's Blessing series that wifey and I are both reading. When we got back, both John and Jane looked like they had just gotten home from taking their dogs for a drive, and the dogs were getting out of the car. This was my wife's first time really meeting them, so she stayed in the parking lot to say hi while I went ahead upstairs to put our dinner leftovers in the fridge and the book on the shelf. A few minutes later, she comes up cradling one of her hands. Their Chow actually did bite her, and her hand was bleeding! Thankfully, it was a small bite and we were able to clean it with first aid equipment that we had at home, and we were able to cover it with a regular band-aid. After making sure she was okay, I called the office to file a report of my own. This lead into:
Interaction 4 and 5 - Both happened on the same day. Number four happened the morning after the bite, where once again, Wifey, myself, the neighbors, and the Landlady (we'll call her Clara), all met in the leasing office to discuss the bite. While Jane did admit that she loosened her grip on the leash to let the dog approach, she actually had the audacity to try to ultimately blame Wifey for getting bit! Thankfully, Clara shut that down real quick and told Jane that it didn't matter if Wifey approached the dog or not; the fact remains that everyone was in the parking lot, a public area, and where the Chow bit Wifey would easily have been the face of a little kid. Clara put the same requirements that the Chow needed to wear a muzzle when outside and also demanded proof of vaccination for the Chow be sent from animal control. That night (interaction 5), Jane came up to our apartment and spoke to Wifey on the landing. I had just gotten off work, but I could hear them through the door. Jane was essentially saying the same things that she had said down at the office, still trying to shift blame onto Wifey. Wifey actually still tried to extend a hand of friendship, saying that while our dogs might not be friends, we could at least be acquaintances. From what I heard, Jane didn't seem to like that idea.
After the bite and the conversation at the office, we stayed behind to talk to Clara after John and Jane left. Clara said that after Interaction two, Jane had called the office four times in a row before I even got back into my apartment, claiming that my dogs were vicious and needed to be removed. Apparently, John had personally gone down to the office claiming that the German Shepherd had an injured leg due to my dogs, but Clara later saw Jane walking both dogs, and both were fine. Now, Clara has met our dogs, and she loves them. Both dogs love going to say hi to her, and they give hugs and kisses, which she loves, and she told us that she doubted what John had been saying the moment he came to complain. She also said that on multiple occasions, the Chow had full-on snarled at her when she wasn't even close, and told us that Jane knows that at least the Chow is actually vicious.
For the next few months, we all do our best to avoid one another. However, if I or Wifey was out with our dogs and the neighbors came back from an errand or something like that, they would lurk in their car until after we went back into out apartment. Even if we weren't anywhere near their car, they would just sit. Now, I admit, if I'm listening to a song that's almost over, I'll stay in my car for an extra minute or to let the song finish. But sometimes, we'd be out with our dogs for 10, 15, 20 minutes and John or Jane would STILL be in their car. I also caught Jane following us on some occasions, but she was always really far away, so I couldn't tell if she was actually following us or if she was just nervous if we would turn around before she got to our stairs.
Well, the neighbors were scheduled to move out at the very end of May. May 31st, and they have the UHaul truck. I was NOT sorry when I took the dogs out and saw them loading it during my lunch break (I've worked from home since the pandemic). However, at the end of the day, I ask Wifey to take the dogs out with me, and we see they have another UHaul, and they're unloading it BACK into the apartment! Jane followed us again during this walk, only this time, she was NOT subtle about it at all! She was right behind us for half of the walk, doesn't say a word to either of us, and while she is texting, she's regularly looking up and making eye contact with us, almost like she wants us to know she's following us. This happened at around 6pm, so it was still fairly light out. Later that night, at around 9:40, when it's very clearly dark, I took the dogs out again, by myself this time. Jane comes out of her apartment and says that lately, Wifey and I have been stomping on the floor and it comes through their ceiling and it's waking her up in the middle of the night (Wifey does have insomnia, so she is up late sometimes). Jane tried to gaslight me and say that she talked to me about it months ago, but the five interactions I mentioned earlier are the only ones we've ever had. She said that she had called Clara about it several times, and that if we continued stomping like that and waking her up, she was gonna call the cops. I agreed only to get her to go away, but as I thought about it, why in the world did she not bring this up when she was following us earlier in broad daylight and instead try to corner me alone when it's dark out? I also went back through my phone records, and the only missed call I have from the office was in March and was a callback regarding a maintenance request I had put in. All other calls in my phone to the office were ones I had made. Wifey didn't have any missed calls from the office, either.
The next morning, Clara calls me. The place that John and Jane were looking to move to ended up being a scam and they were hoping to cancel their early lease termination and move back in, since they had nowhere else to go. I tell Clara what happened with Jane the night before, and OH, BOY, does Clara have tea!!! Clara's assistant property manager (we'll call her Mary) is a personal friend of Jane! Those calls that Jane said she made to Clara about Wifey and I "stomping"? Were actually texts sent over Facebook Messenger directly to Mary! These do not count as noise complaints, since they weren't made through the office channels (either the office phone or email), and from what Mary confessed, John and Jane were planning to file a complaint against us for "excessive noise while we were moving out"... in the middle of the day! Clara thanked me for providing my side of the story, and informed me that, while she'd give them an extra week and a half to let them search for a legitimate place to move to, they would have to be out by a certain day and no more extensions.
John and Jane did not take that well! We happened to take our dogs outside when they were already out with their dogs? Call to the office, "Their dogs attacked ours!" We start doing dishes? Nope, we're "throwing around cookware, it's so loud; should we call the police to do a wellness check?" One of us takes a shower and a bottle falls due to the water? "Are they doing construction up there without approval?" The funniest one was they tried to call Clara to file a noise complaint while Clara was in our apartment with us monitoring another maintenance request being filled (we had to get work done on our tub, so yes, it was a bit loud)! Clara was an absolute gem during this whole time, shooting down each and every single one of their complaints for the bullshit that they are, sticking up for me and Wifey when corporate asked what was up with the deleted "complaints", and she kept me and Wifey informed during this last stretch of John and Jane's neighbor war.
As I'm writing this, I'm watching them pack their new UHaul. I feel such relief knowing that after this week, they're going to be out of our hair completely. Neighbor wars are exhausting, I don't know how Karens can handle this!!! This next part is sung to the tune of that song from The Sound of Music: So long! Farewell! Good riddance, stupid bitches!!

Hello, and welcome to my destash! Selling off the majority of my Poesie FS & sample collection, as well as a bunch of Arcana FS discontinued and current catalog scents. I also have a couple dozen Arcana Craves available for decanting! And as always, hundreds upon hundreds of other perfumes from almost any house imaginable!
🎈 From now until end of day Sunday 6/11, get free US shipping on any order $55 and up! Will also deduct equivalent cost from international shipping for folks outside the US!🎈
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Click here to view my spreadsheet:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1P7e9eQaZ8zfztiYp1_ZHSmXC7yN3xbKDNkGQ328HWKs/edit?usp=sharing
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IMPORTANT INFO AT A GLANCE:
-There are 3 tabs on my spreadsheet:
Indie FS and House Sample Perfumes;
Custom Indie Decants,
Niche/Mainstream Perfumes
-Shipping to the US is a flat $4.25, while shipping to CAN and EUR will be quoted but usually ranges from $14-$16. I usually ship within 3-4 days, and will pack your perfumes with much love, care, and bubble wrap!😊
Spreadsheet link again — https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1P7e9eQaZ8zfztiYp1_ZHSmXC7yN3xbKDNkGQ328HWKs/edit?usp=sharing
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DECANT DEALS:
- 5mL rollerball decants of Wylde Ivy EDPs for $10 (choices include Chasing Dreams, Honeysuckle Sun, Mist & Moonlight and Lovesick & Undead)
- 5mL rollerball decants of Solstice Scents EDPs for $16 (choices include EDPs of Foxcroft and Witch/s Cottage)
- 5mL rollerball decants of Haus of Gloi EDPs for $9 (choices include Forest Rain, Haus Amber At Midnight, Haus Birthday, Hearth, Pumpkin Eater, Red Roan, Real Coal, Snow Wolf, Silver Bells)
- 5mL rollerball decants of Alkemia Alcohol-free EDPs for $13 (choices include Frondescence and Fireflies in the Garden)
- 5mL rollerball decants of CocoaPink EDPs for $8 (choices include Lipstick Stains in SMAT strength)
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A note about decants: Accuracy and cleanliness are my highest priorities when decanting. I ensure that every single decant is filled to the correct volume – not even a drop less! My decants will generally come in screw top jars with a reducer and printed, easy-to-read labels. The following brands will come in vials instead of jars (unless you get 2mLs or more, in which case they’ll come in jars): Alpha Musk, Death & Floral, Possets, Haus of Gloi, and Hexennacht. I decant with disposable, single-use 1mL pipettes and check my work with a scale to ensure accurate fill.
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Here is just a small sampling of what is available, there is so much more on the spreadsheet! For most updated availability, please check the spreadsheet first, as that is updated regularly & is most accurate!
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Poesie (FS and house samples):
Ada Lovelace FS
Aditi FS
Anne of Cleves FS
Artemis EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS
Borrowed Sugar EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS partial
Boudicca FS
Brooding Wings FS
Castle Dracula FS
Crowned FS
Cybele FS partial
Cybele EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS partial
Danann Fein FS
Daydreams EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS
Demimonde FS
Desert Goblin FS
Fan Dance FS
Folly of Love FS
Georgia O Keefe FS ⭐️
Headmaster FS
Illuminated FS
Just Like Heaven FS partial
Marie Curie FS
Medusa FS
Mysterious Fossils EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS
Perfect Happiness FS
Poison Pen Lane FS
Radiant FS
Rentimei FS
Ritual EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS partial
Scholomance FS
Shield Maiden FS
Strawberry Party FS
The Empress FS
The Perfect Tree FS (2 available)
Thought & Memory FS
Tiny Phantom FS
Titania FS ⭐️
Two Dances With Darcy FS
Winter Idyl FS
Young Romantics FS ⭐️
A Thousand Warriors (labelled as Tomoe Gozen) 2mL ⭐️
Alice Ball 2mL
Byronic Hero 2mL
Christmas Magic 2mL
Clara 2mL
Curiouser and Curiouser 2mL
Daydreams 2mL
Dessert First 2mL
Desert Goblin 2mL
Embrace 2mL
Fan Dance 2mL
Gingerbread Kittens 2.3mL chonk
Green Knight 2mL
Hygge 2mL
Knightley 2mL
Lagniappe IX 2mL
Lagniappe VIII 2mL
Magnolia Black Tea 2mL
Morning Mayhem 2mL
Nutcracker Prince 2mL
Opening Chapter 2mL
Opening Chapter 2mL
Plaid Shirt 2mL
Queen Bee 2mL
Queen of Hearts 2mL
Seelie Court 2mL ⭐️
Strange Unearthly Thing 2mL
The Perfect Tree 2mL
Tomoe Gozen (A Thousand Warriors) 2mL ⭐️
Waltz of the Snowflakes 2mL
Watson 2mL (2 available)
Year Without Summer 2mL
Black Cat Cuddles
Boudicca
Daydreams
Demimonde (2 available)
Elizabeth
Glowing
Hoyden (2 available)
Jo
Poison Pen Lane (2 available)
Lush
Northmen
Shire Yuletide (2 available)
Something Fierce
Tempus Fugit
Windsor
Woman Triumphant
Worth a Stare
Yet to be Written
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Alkemia FS and house samples:
Amour Conjure FS
De La Foret FS
Forest Rose FS
La Sirena FS partial
Vanille Vert (Vintage Reserve) FS partial
Yuletide Blessing FS
Evil Temptress
Hearthstone
La Flamme
Sea Goddess
The Sybilla (Ultime)
Vixen (beautifully aged batch, long discontinued)
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Alkemia decantables ($4/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following
Fireflies in the Garden (alcohol free EDP)
Frondescence (alcohol free EDP)
June Rainbow Alchemy
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Alpha Musk FS and house samples:
Amber Rose FS
Aretha FS
Baby Hairs FS
Beastress FS
Celestial Musk FS partial
Cristille FS
Dreaming of the Past FS
Fling FS
Hard Luck FS
Madame Moustache FS
Orange FS
Orange Blossom to the Tune of Jo Mo FS partial
Ovary FS
Pass The Jug FS
Stone Musk FS
The Noble Sloth FS
Velvet Fir FS
Whispers at the Altar FS
Rose Myrrh Musk Soda Pop 2mL dram
The Naked Witch 1.5mL dram
After Dinner Mints
Alice in Her Uniform
Bubbly Amber
Cheery
Cup of Tea Musk
Flustered
Hair Flip
Idle Ideals
Poe
Stone Musk
Sweet Dreams
Vroom
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Alpha Musk Decantables ($3.50/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Greige
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Alchemic Muse FS and house samples:
Gillyflower FS
Temptation FS
Phantasm
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Andromeda’s Curse FS and house samples:
Firefly Hollow FS
Hex FS
Unicorn
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Arcana Wildcraft FS and house samples:
Note that any FS can be decanted at $5/mL!
Aquila FS ⭐️
Black Sand FS
Crossing FS
Forest Witch FS
Gideon FS
Grainne Mhaol FS
Hooded Lady FS ⭐️
Jinx FS
Love FS
Maman Brigitte FS
My Heart Was Like The Weather When You Came FS ⭐️
Nott FS
Persephone’s Flowers FS 10mL
Skookum FS
Waterfall FS partial
Delicatus
Herne
​Spark
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Arcana Wildcraft decantables ($5/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Cascadian Mermaid
Trust
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Arcana Craves FS and samples:
Note that all FS listed below can be decanted at $5 per mL!
Apples Crave Leafy Seadragons FS ⭐️
Apples Crave Peaches FS ⭐️
Black Musk Layering Note FS
Blueberries Crave Garden Parties FS ⭐️
Caramel Layering Note FS ⭐️
Honey Craves Festivals FS
Moss Layering Note FS
Pumpkins Crave Wraiths FS
Pumpkins Crave Viola FS
Strawberries Crave Nyx FS partial
Strawberries Crave Summer FS
Vanilla Craves Sparkly Dresses FS ⭐️
Honey Craves Sunshowers ⭐️
​
Arcana Craves decantables ($5/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Apples Crave Flora
Apples Crave Leafy Seadragons
Apples Crave Peaches ⭐️
Apples Crave Resins
Apples Crave The Tropics
Blueberries Crave Garden Parties
Fresh Coconut Layering Note
Honey Craves Fairy Rings
Honey Craves Hungry Ghosts ⭐️
Honey Craves Paradise
Lemon Shortbread Layering Note
Peaches Crave Mambo
Peaches Crave Mermaidcore
Peaches Crave Rainbow Starfish ⭐️
Pumpkins Crave Quietude
Pumpkins Crave Bacon ⭐️
Red Lipstick Layering Note
Vanilla Craves Forest Rituals
Whipped Cream Layering Note
​
Astrid FS and house samples:
Chalet FS
Dreaming of October FS partial
Merci 26 FS partial
Nostalgic FS partial
Trinkets and Feathers FS
Rouge Fumee
Woods Whispering About You Fondly (2 available)
​
Astrid Decantables ($4/mL or $7 for 2mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Tea Time
​
Balefire Apothecary FS:
Valkyrie
​
Black Baccara FS:
​Conifer Farm FS partial
​
Blooddrop FS:
A Multitude of Stars on a Hot Summers Night
The Restless Mare
​
Blood Moon Botanica FS and samples:
Samhain Night FS
Autumn Camp
​
BPAL FS and house samples:
V’al Hanissim Yule 2019 FS
Anubis
Cleric (RPG Series) ⭐️
Delight
Eclipse
The Ghost
Ut Ameris, Amabilis Esto
White Rabbit
Yemaya
​
CocoaPink decantables:
Lipstick Stains EDP 5mL rollerball decant
​
Darling Clandestine FS bottles:
Monstre Delicat (2022 formula)
Serpentina
​
Deconstructing Eden 5mL bottles and house samples:
Cross My Heart 5mL partial
It Can't Rain All The Time 5mL rollerball decant
Pisces 5mL partial
The Bride 5mL partial
The Nice List 5mL partial
Solace
Under The Mistletoe
​
Deconstructing Eden Decantables ($6.00 for 2mLs):
In The Gloaming
It Can't Rain All The Time
Pumpkins Revenge
​
Death & Floral FS and house samples:
Decomposing Roses For A Decomposing Romance (rice bran oil base) FS
Deer Deer Deer FS
Yellow Rose EDP FS
Coconut Chia Seed Pudding (discontinued)
​
Death & Floral Decantables ($5.00 for 2mL):
Swamp Elixir EDP
The People You Love Become Ghosts EDP
Yellow Rose EDP
​
Fantome FS and samples:
Madame d’Esperance 10mL roller
Coyoacan (2 available) ⭐️
Koschei the Deathless ⭐️
Kupala ⭐️
Lycanthorpe ⭐️
​
Fyrinnae FS and house samples:
Isle of the Dead FS
Jungle Cat FS
Danse Macabre
​
Haus of Gloi FS and house samples:
Black Musk, Red Ginger, & Clove FS
Ferntree Gully FS partial
Hearth FS
Iced Resin FS
Lumps of Coal FS
Mama’s Haus FS
Nag Champa FS
Precious Resins and Snowy Fir FS
Iced Resin FS
Priestess FS
​
Haus of Gloi Retired Catalog Decantables ($4.00/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following:
Iced Earth
Portland Rain
Winter Rain
​
Haus of Gloi EDP Decantables ($3.00/mL or $9.00 for 5mL roller):
Come Hither EDP
Depravity EDP
Forest Rain EDP
Haus Amber At Midnight EDP
Haus Birthday EDP
Hearth EDP
Pumpkin Eater EDP
Real Coal EDP
Red Roan EDP
Silver Bells EDP
Snow Wolf EDP
​
Hagroot FS and drams:
Haunted Rose 3.7mL dram
New Orleans 3.7mL dram
​
Hexennacht FS and house samples:
Black Musk FS
Fougere Accord EDP (Parfum Extrait) FS
Espiritismo 4mL square dram
Strychnine 3.7mL dram
Green Musk
Killer Queen (2 available)
Morphine
Prehnite
Rhubarb & Custard
Take Me To Church ⭐️
​
Moonalisa FS bottles:
Cranberry Spiced Cookie
Sugared Forest
​
NAVA FS and samples:
Amethyst (Studio Limited) FS partial
Artemisia Crypta Obscura Half Bottle
Avatar FS ⭐️
Bastet's Potion Studio No. 113 FS
Bewitched Crypta Obscura Half Bottle
Breath of Gods: Ra Crypta Obscura Half Bottle 🌸
Cardamom & Anise Tea Crypta Obscura Half Bottle 🌸
Crimson (Studio Limited) (Aged batch) FS partial
Crystalline # 7 Crypta Obscura Half Bottle🌸
Dragon’s Eye FS partial
Ederra FS partial
Eternal Cairo FS
Eternal Nile FS
Hat en Tjhenu FS
Isis FS
Krimson FS
Magnifique FS
Mr Belgraves FS
NAliday Tree 2021 FS
Neon Vampire FS
Purple Musk FS ⭐️
Shield FS
Strength FS partial
Sucre Crypta Obscura Half Bottle 🌸
Yulunga FS
Bastet’s Caramel Swirl 2mL house sample
Egyptian Musk & Santalum Deux 2mL house sample
Eternal Aswan 2mL house sample
Hadean Eon 2mL house sample
Heliotrope Crystalline 2mL house sample
Ice Cream and Summer Rose 2mL house sample
Jack o Lantern 2mL house sample
Nikolav 2mL house sample
Nut & Geb (Meditations W The Gods) 2mL house sample
Papaya White Santalum 2mL house sample
Ptah 2mL house sample
Royal Sandalwood: Jasmine 2mL house sample
Solaris 2mL house sample
Symbiosis 2mL house sample (partial)
Tibetan Santalum 2mL house sample (partial)
Vetiver & Woods 2mL house sample
Amethyst (Studio Limited)
Amulet
Bastet Amber Solar Summer
Bastet's Bewildering Contessa Biscuit
Beauty’s Where You Find It
Blue Topaz (Studio Limited)
Crimson Elixir
Crystalline # 2
Dionysus
Envie Exclusif - Saphir Soir ⭐️ 💎
Envie Exclusif - Saphir Indira ⭐️ 💎
Eternal Ankh Rose de Mai ⭐️
Forest Musk
Go Halainn
Hat en Tjhenu
Indigo (Studio Limited)
Indigo / Crystalline Deux
Loveasaurus
Orchid Yellow
Pink Lemonade Tropical Fish
Pink Quartz (Studio Limited)
Purple Musk
Royal Sandalwood Jasmine
Royal Sandalwood Rose
Smoked Tea and Amber Resin
Solaris
Sommeil l'Ete '22
Tobacco Musk
​​
PULP Fragrance FS and house samples:
An Accidental Interloper FS 10mL roller bottle
Cathedral of Trees 4mL roller
Embrace 4mL roller
Fortune Favors 4mL roller
Hauntology FS 6mL amber bottle
Luna Violacea FS 10mL roller
Mark of the Moon FS 6mL amber bottle
New Snow Moon FS 10mL roller bottle
Sanctuary FS 4mL roller
Still Life FS 4mL roller
When What to My Wandering Eyes FS 4mL roller partial
Accidental Interloper
Hallowed Ground
​
PULP Fragrance Decantables ($4.5/mL):
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED in smaller 1mL units as well!
​
Sixteen92 FS and house samples:
Erineyes FS partial
Ex Tenebris Lux (from original release) FS partial
Lafayette Cemetery No 1 FS
The Island of The Dolls (From original 2016 release) FS partial
Wise Blood FS
Aquila
Be Careful What You Wish For
Blanket of the Dark (From original 2016 release)
Bridget Bishop (Premium)
Laudanum (Premium)
Les Fleurs de Mal (Premium)
Really Most Sincerely Dead! ⭐️
​
Sixteen92 Decantables ($4.50/mL):
All of the FS listed above are decantable, plus:
Gryla
The Romance of Certain Old Clothes EDP
​
Solstice Scents FS and house samples:
Coquina ⭐️
Devils Milhopper FS partial ⭐️
Farmhouse in Summer FS ⭐️
First Flush FS
Flowers Nocturnal FS partial
Gulf Breeze FS
Monarch FS 10mL ⭐️
Night Watcher FS
Outpost FS partial ⭐️
Riverside Hayride FS 10mL ⭐️
Rose Leather FS
Solstice Kyphi FS
Heart of the Night
Manor EDP
Old Havana
​
Solstice Scents Decantables ($4.50/mL)
Special deal! Buy a 5mL decant rollerball of any EDP for $16!
ALL FULL SIZES LISTED ABOVE CAN BE DECANTED, plus the following
Foxcroft EDP
Witches Cottage EDP
​
Stereoplasm FS and house samples (pocket rollers and screw top vials:
Lasseiz Faire FS (4.5mL) ⭐️
Monster Frog FS (4.5mL) ⭐️
Golden Hour FS (4.5mL)
Blue Magpie
Comet Corn
Dark Dark
Mogwai
Tamias (Chipmunk)
The Green Ribbon
Venusian Moon
​
Strange Fire & Fumery FS bottles:
Swallow
​
Sucreabeille FS and samples:
Atlantis FS
Azrael FS
Chthulu (Elder God) FS
The Kraken FS
​
Wylde Ivy FS and samples:
​Chasing Dreams 5mL decant
Barefoot in the Garden (Perfume oil version) FS roller
Honeysuckle Sun 5mL decant
Lovesick and Undead 5mL decant
Mist and Moonlight 5mL decant
Pumpkin Ambre
​
Whisper Sisters FS:
Cellar - LE discontinued
Dominula
Gamayun
Smitten Kitten
The Witch
Winter Rose
​
Spreadsheet link again — https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1P7e9eQaZ8zfztiYp1_ZHSmXC7yN3xbKDNkGQ328HWKs/edit?usp=sharing

NARRATOR: (Black screen with text; The sound of buzzing bees can be heard) According to all known laws of aviation, : there is no way a bee should be able to fly. : Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. : The bee, of course, flies anyway : because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. BARRY BENSON: (Barry is picking out a shirt) Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. : Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. JANET BENSON: Barry! Breakfast is ready! BARRY: Coming! : Hang on a second. (Barry uses his antenna like a phone) : Hello? ADAM FLAYMAN:
(Through phone) - Barry? BARRY: - Adam? ADAM: - Can you believe this is happening? BARRY: - I can't. I'll pick you up. (Barry flies down the stairs) : MARTIN BENSON: Looking sharp. JANET: Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. BARRY: Sorry. I'm excited. MARTIN: Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. : A perfect report card, all B's. JANET: Very proud. (Rubs Barry's hair) BARRY= Ma! I got a thing going here. JANET: - You got lint on your fuzz. BARRY: - Ow! That's me!
JANET: - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! (Barry flies out the door) JANET: Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! (Barry drives through the hive,and is waved at by Adam who is reading a newspaper) BARRY== - Hey, Adam. ADAM: - Hey, Barry. (Adam gets in Barry's car) : - Is that fuzz gel? BARRY: - A little. Special day, graduation. ADAM: Never thought I'd make it. (Barry pulls away from the house and continues driving) BARRY: Three days grade school, three days high school... ADAM: Those were awkward. BARRY: Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. ADAM== You did come back different. (Barry and Adam pass by Artie, who is jogging) ARTIE: - Hi, Barry!
BARRY: - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. ADAM: - Hear about Frankie? BARRY: - Yeah. ADAM== - You going to the funeral? BARRY: - No, I'm not going to his funeral. : Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. : Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. ADAM: I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. (The car does a barrel roll on the loop-shaped bridge and lands on the highway) : I love this incorporating an amusement park into our regular day. BARRY: I guess that's why they say we don't need vacations. (Barry parallel parks the car and together they fly over the graduating students) Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. (Barry and Adam sit down and put on their hats) : - Well, Adam, today we are men.
ADAM: - We are! BARRY= - Bee-men. =ADAM= - Amen! BARRY AND ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry and Adam both have a happy spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students, faculty, distinguished bees, : please welcome Dean Buzzwell. DEAN BUZZWELL: Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... : ...9: : That concludes our ceremonies. : And begins your career at Honex Industries! ADAM: Will we pick our job today? (Adam and Barry get into a tour bus) BARRY= I heard it's just orientation. (Tour buses rise out of the ground and the students are automatically loaded into the buses) TOUR GUIDE: Heads up! Here we go.
ANNOUNCER: Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. BARRY: - Wonder what it'll be like? ADAM: - A little scary. TOUR GUIDE== Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco : and a part of the Hexagon Group. Barry: This is it! BARRY AND ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The bus drives down a road an on either side are the Bee's massive complicated Honey-making machines) TOUR GUIDE: We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life : to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. : Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. : Our top-secret formula : is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured : into this soothing sweet syrup : with its distinctive golden glow you know as... EVERYONE ON BUS: Honey! (The guide has been collecting honey into a bottle and she throws it into the crowd on the bus and it is caught by a girl in the back) ADAM: - That girl was hot. BARRY: - She's my cousin! ADAM== - She is? BARRY: - Yes, we're all cousins. ADAM: - Right. You're right. TOUR GUIDE: - At Honex, we constantly strive : to improve every aspect of bee existence. : These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. (The bus passes by a Bee wearing a helmet who is being smashed into the ground with fly-swatters, newspapers and boots. He lifts a thumbs up but you can hear him groan) : ADAM==

• What do you think he makes? BARRY:
• Not enough. TOUR GUIDE: Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. (They pass by a turning wheel with Bees standing on pegs, who are each wearing a finger-shaped hat) Barry:
• Wow, What does that do? TOUR GUIDE:
• Catches that little strand of honey : that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can anyone work on the Krelman? TOUR GUIDE: Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. : But choose carefully : because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. (Everyone claps except for Barry) BARRY: The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. ADAM:

What's the difference? TOUR GUIDE: You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off : in 27 million years. BARRY: (Upset) So you'll just work us to death? : We'll sure try. (Everyone on the bus laughs except Barry. Barry and Adam are walking back home together) ADAM: Wow! That blew my mind! BARRY: "What's the difference?" How can you say that? : One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. ADAM: I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. BARRY: But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? ADAM: Why would you question anything? We're bees. : We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.
BARRY: You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? ADAM: Like what? Give me one example. (Barry and Adam stop walking and it is revealed to the audience that hundreds of cars are speeding by and narrowly missing them in perfect unison) BARRY: I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. ANNOUNCER: Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. BARRY: Wait a second. Check it out. (The Pollen jocks fly in, circle around and landing in line) : - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! ADAM: - Wow. : I've never seen them this close. BARRY: They know what it's like outside the hive. ADAM: Yeah, but some don't come back. GIRL BEES: - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! (The Pollen Jocks hook up their backpacks to machines that pump the nectar to trucks, which drive away)
LOU LO DUVA: You guys did great! : You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! (Punching the Pollen Jocks in joy) I love it! ADAM: - I wonder where they were. BARRY: - I don't know. : Their day's not planned. : Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what. : You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that. ADAM== Right. (Barry and Adam are covered in some pollen that floated off of the Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look at that. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime. ADAM: It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it. BARRY: Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it. (Barry waves at 2 girls standing a little away from them)
ADAM== Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too? BARRY: Distant. Distant. POLLEN JOCK #1: Look at these two. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Couple of Hive Harrys. POLLEN JOCK #1: - Let's have fun with them. GIRL BEE #1: It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock. BARRY: Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom! : He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me! (Slaps Adam with his hand to represent his scenario) GIRL BEE #2: - Oh, my! BARRY: - I never thought I'd knock him out. GIRL BEE #1: (Looking at Adam) What were you doing during this? ADAM: Obviously I was trying to alert the authorities. BARRY: I can autograph that.
(The pollen jocks walk up to Barry and Adam, they pretend that Barry and Adam really are pollen jocks.) POLLEN JOCK #1: A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades? BARRY: Yeah. Gusty. POLLEN JOCK #1: We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow. BARRY: - Six miles, huh? ADAM: - Barry! POLLEN JOCK #2: A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it. BARRY: - Maybe I am. ADAM: - You are not! POLLEN JOCK #1: We're going 0900 at J-Gate. : What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough? BARRY: I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means. (The scene cuts to Barry looking out on the hive-city from his balcony at night) MARTIN:
Hey, Honex! BARRY: Dad, you surprised me. MARTIN: You decide what you're interested in? BARRY: - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one. : Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day? MARTIN: Son, let me tell you about stirring. : You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around. : You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing. BARRY: You know, Dad, the more I think about it, : maybe the honey field just isn't right for me. MARTIN: You were thinking of what, making balloon animals? : That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger. :
Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey! JANET: - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. BARRY: - I'm not trying to be funny. MARTIN: You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer! JANET: - You're gonna be a stirrer? BARRY: - No one's listening to me! MARTIN: Wait till you see the sticks I have. BARRY: I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo! (Barry's parents don't listen to him and continue to ramble on) MARTIN: Let's open some honey and celebrate! BARRY: Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. : Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"! JANET: I'm so proud. (The scene cuts to Barry and Adam waiting in line to get a job) ADAM: - We're starting work today!
BARRY: - Today's the day. ADAM: Come on! All the good jobs will be gone. BARRY: Yeah, right. JOB LISTER: Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal... BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Is it still available? JOB LISTER: - Hang on. Two left! : One of them's yours! Congratulations! Step to the side. ADAM: - What'd you get? BEE IN FRONT OF LINE: - Picking crud out. Stellar! (He walks away) ADAM: Wow! JOB LISTER: Couple of newbies? ADAM: Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready! JOB LISTER: Make your choice. (Adam and Barry look up at the job board. There are hundreds of constantly changing panels that contain available or unavailable jobs. It looks very confusing)
ADAM: - You want to go first? BARRY: - No, you go. ADAM: Oh, my. What's available? JOB LISTER: Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think. ADAM: - Any chance of getting the Krelman? JOB LISTER: - Sure, you're on. (Puts the Krelman finger-hat on Adam's head) (Suddenly the sign for Krelman closes out) : I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out. (Takes Adam's hat off) Wax monkey's always open. ADAM: The Krelman opened up again. : What happened? JOB LISTER: A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one. : Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. : Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!
ADAM: Oh, this is so hard! (Barry remembers what the Pollen Jock offered him and he flies off) Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer, : humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor, : mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry? (Adam turns around and sees Barry flying away) : Barry! POLLEN JOCK: All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine... ADAM: (Through phone) What happened to you? Where are you? BARRY: - I'm going out. ADAM: - Out? Out where? BARRY: - Out there. ADAM: - Oh, no! BARRY: I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life. ADAM:
You're gonna die! You're crazy! (Barry hangs up) Hello? POLLEN JOCK #2: Another call coming in. : If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd : that gets their roses today. BARRY: Hey, guys. POLLEN JOCK #1 == - Look at that. POLLEN JOCK #2: - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday? LOU LO DUVA: Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted. POLLEN JOCK #1: It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up. (Puts hand on Barry's shoulder) LOU LO DUVA: (To Barry) Really? Feeling lucky, are you? BEE WITH CLIPBOARD: (To Barry) Sign here, here. Just initial that. : - Thank you. LOU LO DUVA: - OK. : You got a rain advisory today, :
and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain. : So be careful. As always, watch your brooms, : hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats. : Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us. : Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada! BARRY: - That's awful. LOU LO DUVA: (Still talking through megaphone) - And a reminder for you rookies, : bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans! : All right, launch positions! POLLEN JOCKS: (The Pollen Jocks run into formation) : Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! LOU LU DUVA: Black and yellow! POLLEN JOCKS:
Hello! POLLEN JOCK #1: (To Barry)You ready for this, hot shot? BARRY: Yeah. Yeah, bring it on. POLLEN JOCK's: Wind, check. : - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check. : - Wings, check. - Stinger, check. BARRY: Scared out of my shorts, check. LOU LO DUVA: OK, ladies, : let's move it out! : Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers! : All of you, drain those flowers! (The pollen jocks fly out of the hive) BARRY: Wow! I'm out! : I can't believe I'm out! : So blue.
: I feel so fast and free! : Box kite! (Barry flies through the kite) : Wow! : Flowers! (A pollen jock puts on some high tech goggles that shows flowers similar to heat sink goggles.) POLLEN JOCK: This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual. : Bring it around 30 degrees and hold. : Roses! POLLEN JOCK #1: 30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around. : Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick. (The pollen jock fires a high-tech gun at the flower, shooting tubes that suck up the nectar from the flower and collects it into a pouch on the gun) BARRY: That is one nectar collector! POLLEN JOCK #1== - Ever see pollination up close? BARRY: - No, sir. POLLEN JOCK #1:
(Barry and the Pollen jock fly over the field, the pollen jock sprinkles pollen as he goes) : I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there, : a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic. BARRY: That's amazing. Why do we do that? POLLEN JOCK #1: That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN JOCK #1: I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. could be daisies. Don't we need those? POLLEN JOCK #2: Copy that visual. : Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move. POLLEN JOCK #1: Say again? You're reporting a moving flower? POLLEN JOCK #2: Affirmative. (The Pollen jocks land near the "flowers" which, to the audience are obviously just tennis balls) KEN: (In the distance) That was on the line!
POLLEN JOCK #1: This is the coolest. What is it? POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't know, but I'm loving this color. : It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it. POLLEN JOCK #1: Yeah, fuzzy. (Sticks his hand on the ball but it gets stuck) POLLEN JOCK #3== Chemical-y. (The pollen jock finally gets his hand free from the tennis ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: Careful, guys. It's a little grabby. (The pollen jocks turn around and see Barry lying his entire body on top of one of the tennis balls) POLLEN JOCK #2: My sweet lord of bees! POLLEN JOCK #3: Candy-brain, get off there! POLLEN JOCK #1: (Pointing upwards) Problem! (A human hand reaches down and grabs the tennis ball that Barry is stuck to) BARRY: - Guys! POLLEN JOCK #2: - This could be bad. POLLEN JOCK #3: Affirmative. (Vanessa Bloome starts bouncing the tennis ball, not knowing Barry is stick to it)
BARRY== Very close. : Gonna hurt. : Mama's little boy. (Barry is being hit back and forth by two humans playing tennis. He is still stuck to the ball) POLLEN JOCK #1: You are way out of position, rookie! KEN: Coming in at you like a MISSILE! (Barry flies past the pollen jocks, still stuck to the ball) BARRY: (In slow motion) Help me! POLLEN JOCK #2: I don't think these are flowers. POLLEN JOCK #3: - Should we tell him? POLLEN JOCK #1: - I think he knows. BARRY: What is this?! KEN: Match point! : You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to EAT IT! (A pollen jock coughs which confused Ken and he hits the ball the wrong way with Barry stuck to it and it goes flying into the city) BARRY:
Yowser! (Barry bounces around town and gets stuck in the engine of a car. He flies into the air conditioner and sees a bug that was frozen in there) BARRY: Ew, gross. (The man driving the car turns on the air conditioner which blows Barry into the car) GIRL IN CAR: There's a bee in the car! : - Do something! DAD DRIVING CAR: - I'm driving! BABY GIRL: (Waving at Barry) - Hi, bee. (Barry smiles and waves at the baby girl) GUY IN BACK OF CAR: - He's back here! : He's going to sting me! GIRL IN CAR: Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze! (Barry freezes as well, hovering in the middle of the car) : GRANDMA IN CAR== He blinked! (The grandma whips out some bee-spray and sprays everywhere in the car, climbing into the front seat, still trying to spray Barry) GIRL IN CAR: Spray him, Granny! DAD DRIVING THE CAR: What are you doing?! (Barry escapes the car through the air conditioner and is flying high above
the ground, safe.) BARRY: Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable. (Barry sees that storm clouds are gathering and he can see rain clouds moving into this direction) : I gotta get home. : Can't fly in rain. : Can't fly in rain. (A rain drop hits Barry and one of his wings is damaged) : Can't fly in rain. (A second rain drop hits Barry again and he spirals downwards) Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down! (WW2 plane sound effects are played as he plummets, and he crash-lands on a plant inside an apartment near the window) VANESSA BLOOME: Ken, could you close the window please? KEN== Hey, check out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure. : You see? (Folds brochure resume out) Folds out. (Ken closes the window, trapping Barry inside) BARRY: Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this. (Barry tries to fly away but smashes into the window and falls again) : What was that?
(Barry keeps trying to fly out the window but he keeps being knocked back because the window is closed) Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This... : Drapes! (Barry taps the glass. He doesn't understand what it is) That is diabolical. KEN: It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies. ANDY: What's number one? Star Wars? KEN: Nah, I don't go for that... (Ken makes finger guns and makes "pew pew pew" sounds and then stops) : ...kind of stuff. BARRY: No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds. KEN: When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say. BARRY: (Looking at the light on the ceiling) There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out. (Starts flying towards the lightbulb) : I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it. (Barry hits the lightbulb and falls into the dip on the table that the humans are sitting at) KEN:
I predicted global warming. : I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me. (Andy dips a chip into the bowl and scoops up some dip with Barry on it and is about to put it in his mouth) : Wait! Stop! Bee! (Andy drops the chip with Barry in fear and backs away. All the humans freak out) : Stand back. These are winter boots. (Ken has winter boots on his hands and he is about to smash the bee but Vanessa saves him last second) VANESSA: Wait! : Don't kill him! (Vanessa puts Barry in a glass to protect him) KEN: You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me! VANESSA: Why does his life have less value than yours? KEN: Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement? VANESSA: I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling. (Vanessa picks up Ken's brochure and puts it under the glass so she can carry Barry back to the window. Barry looks at Vanessa in amazement) KEN:
My brochure! VANESSA: There you go, little guy. (Vanessa opens the window and lets Barry out but Barry stays back and is still shocked that a human saved his life) KEN: I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing. VANESSA: Put that on your resume brochure. KEN: My whole face could puff up. ANDY: Make it one of your special skills. KEN: Knocking someone out is also a special skill. (Ken walks to the door) Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks. : - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? VANESSA: - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever. : (Vanessa tries to close door) KEN== - You could put carob chips on there. VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door but Ken opens it again) KEN: - Supposed to be less calories.
VANESSA: - Bye. (Closes door) (Fast forward to the next day, Barry is still inside the house. He flies into the kitchen where Vanessa is doing dishes) BARRY== (Talking to himself) I gotta say something. : She saved my life. I gotta say something. : All right, here it goes. (Turns back) Nah. : What would I say? : I could really get in trouble. : It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human. : I can't believe I'm doing this. : I've got to. (Barry disguises himself as a character on a food can as Vanessa walks by again) : Oh, I can't do it. Come on! : No. Yes. No. : Do it. I can't.
: How should I start it? (Barry strikes a pose and wiggles his eyebrows) "You like jazz?" No, that's no good. (Vanessa is about to walk past Barry) Here she comes! Speak, you fool! : ...Hi! (Vanessa gasps and drops the dishes in fright and notices Barry on the counter) : I'm sorry. VANESSA: - You're talking. BARRY: - Yes, I know. VANESSA: (Pointing at Barry) You're talking! BARRY: I'm so sorry. VANESSA: No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming. : But I don't recall going to bed. BARRY: Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting. VANESSA: This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!
BARRY: I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this, (Pointing to the living room where Ken tried to kill him last night) but they were all trying to kill me. : And if it wasn't for you... : I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised. (Vanessa stabs her hand with a fork to test whether she's dreaming or not) : That was a little weird. VANESSA: - I'm talking with a bee. BARRY: - Yeah. VANESSA: I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me! BARRY: I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now. (Barry turns to leave) VANESSA: - Wait! How did you learn to do that? BARRY: (Flying back) - What? VANESSA: The talking...thing. BARRY:
Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up. VANESSA: - That's very funny. BARRY: - Yeah. : Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with. : Anyway... VANESSA: Can I... : ...get you something? BARRY: - Like what? VANESSA: I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Coffee? BARRY: I don't want to put you out. VANESSA: It's no trouble. It takes two minutes. : - It's just coffee. BARRY: - I hate to impose. (Vanessa starts making coffee) VANESSA: - Don't be ridiculous!
BARRY: - Actually, I would love a cup. VANESSA: Hey, you want rum cake? BARRY: - I shouldn't. VANESSA: - Have some. BARRY: - No, I can't. VANESSA: - Come on! BARRY: I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms. VANESSA: - Where? BARRY: - These stripes don't help. VANESSA: You look great! BARRY: I don't know if you know anything about fashion. : Are you all right? VANESSA: (Pouring coffee on the floor and missing the cup completely) No. (Flash forward in time. Barry and Vanessa are sitting together at a table on top of the apartment building drinking coffee)
: BARRY== He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison. : He finally gets there. : He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on. : And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan. : Why would I marry a watermelon?" (Barry laughs but Vanessa looks confused) VANESSA: Is that a bee joke? BARRY: That's the kind of stuff we do. VANESSA: Yeah, different. : So, what are you gonna do, Barry? (Barry stands on top of a sugar cube floating in his coffee and paddles it around with a straw like it's a gondola) BARRY: About work? I don't know. : I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want. VANESSA: I know how you feel.
BARRY: - You do? VANESSA: - Sure. : My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist. BARRY: - Really? VANESSA: - My only interest is flowers. BARRY: Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan. : Anyway, if you look... (Barry points to a tree in the middle of Central Park) : There's my hive right there. See it? VANESSA: You're in Sheep Meadow! BARRY: Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond! VANESSA: No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once. BARRY: - Why do girls put rings on their toes? VANESSA: - Why not? BARRY:

• It's like putting a hat on your knee. VANESSA:
• Maybe I'll try that. (A custodian installing a lightbulb looks over at them but to his perspective it looks like Vanessa is talking to a cup of coffee on the table) CUSTODIAN:
• You all right, ma'am? VANESSA:
• Oh, yeah. Fine. : Just having two cups of coffee! BARRY: Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee. VANESSA== Yeah, it's no trouble. BARRY: Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life. (Barry points towards the rum cake) : Can I take a piece of this with me? VANESSA: Sure! Here, have a crumb. (Vanessa hands Barry a crumb but it is still pretty big for Barry) BARRY:
• Thanks! VANESSA:
• Yeah. BARRY: All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.
  : Or not. VANESSA: OK, Barry... BARRY: And thank you so much again... for before. VANESSA: Oh, that? That was nothing. BARRY: Well, not nothing, but... Anyway... (Vanessa and Barry hold hands, but Vanessa has to hold out a finger because her hands is to big and Barry holds that) (The custodian looks over again and it appears Vanessa is laughing at her coffee again. The lightbulb that he was screwing in sparks and he falls off the ladder) (Fast forward in time and we see two Bee Scientists testing out a parachute in a Honex wind tunnel) BEE SCIENTIST #1: This can't possibly work. BEE SCIENTIST #2: He's all set to go. We may as well try it. : OK, Dave, pull the chute. (Dave pulls the chute and the wind slams him against the wall and he falls on his face.The camera pans over and we see Barry and Adam walking together) ADAM:
  
• Sounds amazing. BARRY:
  
• It was amazing! : It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.
  

ADAM: Humans! I can't believe you were with humans! : Giant, scary humans! What were they like? BARRY: Huge and crazy. They talk crazy. : They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy. ADAM: - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? BARRY: - Some of them. But some of them don't. ADAM: - How'd you get back? BARRY: - Poodle. ADAM: You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see. : You had your "experience." Now you can pick out your job and be normal. BARRY: - Well... ADAM: - Well? BARRY: Well, I met someone.
ADAM: You did? Was she Bee-ish? : - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! BARRY: - No, no, no, not a wasp. ADAM: - Spider? BARRY: - I'm not attracted to spiders. : I know, for everyone else, it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all. : I can't get by that face. ADAM: So who is she? BARRY: She's... human. ADAM: No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law. BARRY: - Her name's Vanessa. (Adam puts his head in his hands) ADAM: - Oh, boy. BARRY== She's so nice. And she's a florist! ADAM: Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!
BARRY: We're not dating. ADAM: You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes : with power washers and M-80s! That's one-eighth a stick of dynamite! BARRY: She saved my life! And she understands me. ADAM: This is over! BARRY: Eat this. (Barry gives Adam a piece of the crumb that he got from Vanessa. Adam eats it) ADAM: (Adam's tone changes) This is not over! What was that? BARRY: - They call it a crumb. ADAM: - It was so stingin' stripey! BARRY: And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat! : - You know what a Cinnabon is? ADAM: - No. (Adam opens a door behind him and he pulls Barry in)
BARRY: It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. ADAM: Be quiet! BARRY: They heat it up... ADAM: Sit down! (Adam forces Barry to sit down) BARRY: (Still rambling about Cinnabons) ...really hot! (Adam grabs Barry by the shoulders) ADAM: - Listen to me! : We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them! BARRY== Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning? ADAM: There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me! : You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee! BARRY: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEE: - Thinking bee. WORKER BEES AND ADAM: Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee! (Flash forward in time; Barry is laying on a raft in a pool full of honey. He is wearing sunglasses) JANET: There he is. He's in the pool. MARTIN: You know what your problem is, Barry? (Barry pulls down his sunglasses and he looks annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I gotta start thinking bee? JANET: How much longer will this go on? MARTIN: It's been three days! Why aren't you working? (Puts sunglasses back on) BARRY: I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about. MARTIN: What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee! JANET: Would it kill you to make a little honey? (Barry rolls off the raft and sinks into the honey pool) : Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you. : Martin, would you talk to him? MARTIN:
Barry, I'm talking to you! (Barry keeps sinking into the honey until he is suddenly in Central Park having a picnic with Vanessa) (Barry has a cup of honey and he clinks his glass with Vanessas. Suddenly a mosquito lands on Vanessa and she slaps it, killing it. They both gasp but then burst out laughing) VANESSA: You coming? (The camera pans over and Vanessa is climbing into a small yellow airplane) BARRY: Got everything? VANESSA: All set! BARRY: Go ahead. I'll catch up. (Vanessa lifts off and flies ahead) VANESSA: Don't be too long. (Barry catches up with Vanessa and he sticks out his arms like ana irplane. He rolls from side to side, and Vanessa copies him with the airplane) VANESSA: Watch this! (Barry stays back and watches as Vanessa draws a heart in the air using pink smoke from the plane, but on the last loop-the-loop she suddenly crashes into a mountain and the plane explodes. The destroyed plane falls into some rocks and explodes a second time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As Barry is yelling his mouth fills with honey and he wakes up, discovering that he was just day dreaming. He slowly sinks back into the honey pool) MARTIN: - We're still here.
JANET: - I told you not to yell at him. : He doesn't respond to yelling! MARTIN: - Then why yell at me? JANET: - Because you don't listen! MARTIN: I'm not listening to this. BARRY: Sorry, I've gotta go. MARTIN: - Where are you going? BARRY: - I'm meeting a friend. JANET: A girl? Is this why you can't decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry flies out the door and Martin shakes his head) : JANET== I just hope she's Bee-ish. (Fast forward in time and Barry is sitting on Vanessa's shoulder and she is closing up her shop) BARRY: They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena? VANESSA: To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!
: Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering. BARRY: A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events? VANESSA: No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere? BARRY: It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster. VANESSA: Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn. BARRY: TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane! VANESSA: You don't have that? BARRY: We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease. VANESSA: Oh, my. (A human walks by and Barry narrowly avoids him) PASSERBY: Dumb bees! VANESSA: You must want to sting all those jerks. BARRY: We try not to sting.
It's usually fatal for us. VANESSA: So you have to watch your temper (They walk into a store) BARRY: Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk, : write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion: : Anger, jealousy, lust. (Suddenly an employee(Hector) hits Barry off of Vanessa's shoulder. Hector thinks he's saving Vanessa) VANESSA: (To Barry) Oh, my goodness! Are you OK? (Barry is getting up off the floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To Hector) - What is wrong with you?! HECTOR: (Confused) - It's a bug. VANESSA: He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep! (Vanessa hits Hector across the face with the magazine he had and then hits him in the head. Hector backs away covering his head) Barry: What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular? (Vanessa sets Barry back on her shoulder)
VANESSA: Yeah, it was. How did you know? BARRY: It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit. VANESSA: You've really got that down to a science. BARRY: - Oh, we have to. I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. VANESSA: - I'll bet. (Barry looks to his right and notices there is honey for sale in the aisle) BARRY: What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this? (Barry looks at all the brands of honey, shocked) How did this get here? Cute Bee, Golden Blossom, : Ray Liotta Private Select? (Barry puts his hands up and slowly turns around, a look of disgust on his face) VANESSA: - Is he that actor? BARRY: - I never heard of him. : - Why is this here? VANESSA: - For people. We eat it. BARRY:
You don't have enough food of your own?! (Hector looks back and notices that Vanessa is talking to Barry) VANESSA: - Well, yes. BARRY: - How do you get it? VANESSA: - Bees make it. BARRY: - I know who makes it! : And it's hard to make it! : There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing! VANESSA: - It's organic. BARRY: - It's our-ganic! VANESSA: It's just honey, Barry. BARRY: Just what?! : Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing! : You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have! :
And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this. : I'm getting to the bottom of all of this! (Flash forward in time; Barry paints his face with black strikes like a soldier and sneaks into the storage section of the store) (Two men, including Hector, are loading boxes into some trucks) : SUPERMARKET EMPLOYEE== Hey, Hector. : - You almost done? HECTOR: - Almost. (Barry takes a step to peak around the corner) (Whispering) He is here. I sense it. : Well, I guess I'll go home now (Hector pretends to walk away by walking in place and speaking loudly) : and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around. BARRY: You're busted, box boy! HECTOR: I knew I heard something! So you can talk! BARRY: I can talk. And now you'll start talking! : Where you getting the sweet stuff?
Who's your supplier? HECTOR: I don't understand. I thought we were friends. : The last thing we want to do is upset bees! (Hector takes a thumbtack out of the board behind him and sword-fights Barry. Barry is using his stinger like a sword) : You're too late! It's ours now! BARRY: You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword! HECTOR: You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio! (Barry hits the thumbtack out of Hectors hand and Hector surrenders) Barry: Where is the honey coming from? : Tell me where! HECTOR: (Pointing to leaving truck) Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms! (Barry chases after the truck but it is getting away. He flies onto a bicyclists' backpack and he catches up to the truck) CAR DRIVER: (To bicyclist) Crazy person! (Barry flies off and lands on the windshield of the Honey farms truck. Barry looks around and sees dead bugs splattered everywhere) BARRY: What horrible thing has happened here?
: These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now : they're on the road to nowhere! (Barry hears a sudden whisper) (Barry looks up and sees Mooseblood, a mosquito playing dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just keep still. BARRY: What? You're not dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed? BARRY: To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off! ANOTHER BUG PLAYING DEAD: I'm going to Tacoma. (Barry looks at another bug) BARRY: - And you? MOOSEBLOOD: - He really is dead. BARRY: All right. (Another bug hits the windshield and the drivers notice. They activate the windshield wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The windshield wipers are slowly sliding over the dead bugs and wiping
them off) BARRY: - What is that?! MOOSEBLOOD: - Oh, no! : - A wiper! Triple blade! BARRY: - Triple blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump on! It's your only chance, bee! (Mooseblood and Barry grab onto the wiper and they hold on as it wipes the windshield) Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?! : How much do you people need to see?! (Bangs on windshield) : Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window! RADIO IN TRUCK: From NPR News in Washington, I'm Carl Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But don't kill no more bugs! (Mooseblood and Barry are washed off by the wipr fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: - Bee! BARRY: - Moose blood guy!! (Barry starts screaming as he hangs onto the antenna) (Suddenly it is revealed that a water bug is also hanging on the antenna.
There is a pause and then Barry and the water bug both start screaming) TRUCK DRIVER: - You hear something? GUY IN TRUCK: - Like what? TRUCK DRIVER: Like tiny screaming. GUY IN TRUCK: Turn off the radio. (The antenna starts to lower until it gets to low and sinks into the truck. The water bug flies off and Barry is forced to let go and he is blown away. He luckily lands inside a horn on top of the truck where he finds Mooseblood, who was blown into the same place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup, bee boy? BARRY: Hey, Blood. (Fast forward in time and we see that Barry is deep in conversation with Mooseblood. They have been sitting in this truck for a while) BARRY: ...Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it. : I mean, that honey's ours. MOOSEBLOOD: - Bees hang tight. BARRY:

• We're all jammed in. : It's a close community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own. BARRY:
• What if you get in trouble? MOOSEBLOOD:
• You a mosquito, you in trouble. : Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack! BARRY: At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly. : Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito. (An ambulance passes by and it has a blood donation sign on it) You got to be kidding me! : Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee! (Mooseblood leaves and flies onto the window of the ambulance where there are other mosquito's hanging out) :
• Hey, guys! OTHER MOSQUITO:
• Mooseblood!

MOOSEBLOOD: I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw? (The truck goes out of view and Barry notices that the truck he's on is pulling into a camp of some sort) TRUCK DRIVER: We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit. (Barry flies out) BARRY: What is this place? BEEKEEPER 1#: A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead. BEEKEEPER #2: They are pinheads! : Pinhead. : - Check out the new smoker. BEEKEEPER #1: - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want. : The Thomas 3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER #1: Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar. : A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.
BEEKEEPER #2: They make the honey, and we make the money. BARRY: "They make the honey, and we make the money"? (The Beekeeper sprays hundreds of cheap miniature apartments with the smoker. The bees are fainting or passing out) Oh, my! : What's going on? Are you OK? (Barry flies into one of the apartment and helps a Bee couple get off the ground. They are coughing and its hard for them to stand) BEE IN APARTMENT: Yeah. It doesn't last too long. BARRY: Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls? BEE IN APPARTMENT: Our queen was moved here. We had no choice. (The apartment room is completely empty except for a photo on the wall of the "queen" who is obviously a man in women's clothes) BARRY: This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes! : That's a drag queen! : What is this? (Barry flies out and he discovers that there are hundreds of these structures, each housing thousands of Bees) Oh, no! : There's hundreds of them! (Barry takes out his camera and takes pictures of these Bee work camps. The beekeepers look very evil in these depictions)
Bee honey. : Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale! : This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something. (Flash forward in time and Barry is showing these pictures to his parents) JANET: Oh, Barry, stop. MARTIN: Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor. BARRY: Do these look like rumors? (Holds up the pictures) UNCLE CARL: That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos. JANET: How did you get mixed up in this? ADAM: He's been talking to humans. JANET: - What? MARTIN: - Talking to humans?! ADAM: He has a human girlfriend. And they make out! JANET: Make out? Barry!
BARRY: We do not. ADAM: - You wish you could. MARTIN: - Whose side are you on? BARRY: The bees! UNCLE CARL: (He has been sitting in the back of the room this entire time) I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night. JANET: Barry, this is what you want to do with your life? BARRY: I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees! : Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked : your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop. JANET: I remember that. BARRY: What right do they have to our honey? : We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!
ADAM: Even if it's true, what can one bee do? BARRY: Sting them where it really hurts. MARTIN: In the face! The eye! : - That would hurt. BARRY: - No. MARTIN: Up the nose? That's a killer. BARRY: There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters. (Flash forward a bit in time and we are watching the Bee News) BEE NEWS NARRATOR: Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source. BEE PROTESTOR: No more bee beards! BEE NEWS NARRATOR: With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk. : Weather with Storm Stinger. : Sports with Buzz Larvi. : And Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. JEANETTE CHUNG:

• And I'm Jeanette Chung. BOB BUMBLE: A tri-county bee, Barry Benson, : intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey, : packaging it and profiting from it illegally! JEANETTE CHUNG: Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King, : we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book, : Classy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon. (The scene changes to an interview on the news with Bee version of Larry King and Barry) BEE LARRY KING: Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson. : Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"? BARRY: Bees have never been afraid to change the world. : What about Bee Columbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus? BEE LARRY KING: Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.
  : We were thinking of stickball or candy stores. BARRY: How old are you? BEE LARRY KING: The bee community is supporting you in this case, : which will be the trial of the bee century. BARRY: You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too. BEE LARRY KING: It's a common name. Next week... BARRY: He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots... BEE LARRY KING: Next week... BARRY: Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em. BEE LARRY KING: Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here, live. (Bee Larry King gets annoyed and flies away offscreen) BARRY: Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish. (Flash forward in time. We see Vanessa enter and Ken enters behind her. They are arguing)
  

KEN: In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness! VANESSA: It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81. KEN== Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that? BARRY: (To Ken) Quiet, please. Actual work going on here. KEN: (Pointing at Barry) - Is that that same bee? VANESSA: - Yes, it is! : I'm helping him sue the human race. BARRY: - Hello. KEN: - Hello, bee. VANESSA: This is Ken. BARRY: (Recalling the "Winter Boots" incident earlier) Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe. KEN: (To Vanessa) Why does he talk again? VANESSA:
Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working. KEN: But it's our yogurt night! VANESSA: (Holding door open for Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why is yogurt night so difficult?! (Ken leaves and Vanessa walks over to Barry. His workplace is a mess) VANESSA: You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours! BARRY: Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help. ADAM: - Frosting... - How many sugars? ==BARRY== Just one. I try not to use the competition. : So why are you helping me? VANESSA: Bees have good qualities. : And it takes my mind off the shop. : Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now. BARRY:
Those are great, if you're three. VANESSA: And artificial flowers. BARRY: - Oh, those just get me psychotic! VANESSA: - Yeah, me too. : BARRY: Bent stingers, pointless pollination. ADAM: Bees must hate those fake things! : Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done. : Maybe this could make up for it a little bit. VANESSA: - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. BARRY: - I guess. ADAM: You sure you want to go through with it? BARRY: Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able : to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty! (Flash forward in time and we are watching the human news. The camera shows
a crowd outside a courthouse) NEWS REPORTER: It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan, : where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history, : we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak. (We are no longer watching through a news camera) ADAM: What have we gotten into here, Barry? BARRY: It's pretty big, isn't it? ADAM== (Looking at the hundreds of people around the courthouse) I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day. BARRY: You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers? SECURITY GUARD: Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade. (A limousine drives up and a fat man,Layton Montgomery, a honey industry owner gets out and walks past Barry) ADAM: - What's the matter? BARRY: - I don't know, I just got a chill. (Fast forward in time and everyone is in the court) MONTGOMERY: Well, if it isn't the bee team.
(To Honey Industry lawyers) You boys work on this? MAN: All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding. JUDGE BUMBLETON: All right. Case number 4475, : Superior Court of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry : is now in session. : Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively? MONTGOMERY: A privilege. JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world? (Everyone looks closely, they are waiting to see if a Bee can really talk) (Barry makes several buzzing sounds to sound like a Bee) BARRY: I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed. JUDGE BUMBLBETON: Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, : my grandmother was a simple woman. :
Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right : to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us. : If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines, : just think of what would it mean. : I would have to negotiate with the silkworm : for the elastic in my britches! : Talking bee! (Montgomery walks over and looks closely at Barry) : How do we know this isn't some sort of : holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry? : They could be using laser beams! : Robotics! Ventriloquism! Cloning! For all we know, : he could be on steroids! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Benson?
BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here. : I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me. : It's important to all bees. We invented it! : We make it. And we protect it with our lives. : Unfortunately, there are some people in this room : who think they can take it from us : 'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over, : you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have : but everything we are! JANET== (To Martin) I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Call your first witness. BARRY: So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden
of Honey Farms, big company you have. KLAUSS VANDERHAYDEN: I suppose so. BARRY: I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron! KLAUSS: Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms. BARRY: Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term. : I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) - No. BARRY: - I couldn't hear you. KLAUSS: - No. BARRY: - No. : Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that, : it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey. KLAUSS: They're very lovable creatures.
: Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You mean like this? (The bear from Over The Hedge barges in through the back door and it is roaring and standing on its hind legs. It is thrashing its claws and people are screaming. It is being held back by a guard who has the bear on a chain) : (Pointing to the roaring bear) Bears kill bees! : How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?! : Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows! JUDGE BUMBLETON: OK, that's enough. Take him away. (The bear stops roaring and thrashing and walks out) BARRY: So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me. : - Where have I heard it before? MR. STING: - I was with a band called The Police. BARRY: But you've never been a police officer, have you? STING: No, I haven't. BARRY:
No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example : of bee culture casually stolen by a human : for nothing more than a prance-about stage name. STING: Oh, please. BARRY: Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting? : Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting. : Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's not his real name?! You idiots! BARRY: Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on : your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005. RAY LIOTTA: Thank you. Thank you. BARRY: I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome : with a churning inner turmoil
that's ready to blow. RAY LIOTTA: I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime? BARRY: Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you? : Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't : have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir? RAY LIOTTA: Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now! BARRY: This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella! (Ray Liotta looses it and tries to grab Barry) RAY LIOTTA: Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?! JUDGE BUMBLETON: - Order in this court! RAY LIOTTA: - You're all thinking it! (Judge Bumbleton starts banging her gavel) JUDGE BUMBLETON: Order! Order, I say! RAY LIOTTA: - Say it! MAN:

• Mr. Liotta, please sit down! (We see a montage of magazines which feature the court case) (Flash forward in time and Barry is back home with Vanessa) BARRY: I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that. VANESSA: I think the jury's on our side. BARRY: Are we doing everything right,you know, legally? VANESSA: I'm a florist. BARRY: Right. Well, here's to a great team. VANESSA: To a great team! (Ken walks in from work. He sees Barry and he looks upset when he sees Barry clinking his glass with Vanessa) KEN: Well, hello. VANESSA:
• Oh, Ken! BARRY:
• Hello! VANESSA: I didn't think you were coming. : No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... (Ken holds up his phone and flips it open. The phone has no charge) ...the battery... VANESSA:

I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free. KEN: Oh, that was lucky. (Ken sits down at the table across from Barry and Vanessa leaves the room) VANESSA: There's a little left. I could heat it up. KEN: (Not taking his eyes off Barry) Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever. BARRY: So I hear you're quite a tennis player. : I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby. KEN: That's where I usually sit. Right... (Points to where Barry is sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling from other room) Ken, Barry was looking at your resume, : and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill. KEN: (To Barry) You think I don't see what you're doing? BARRY: I know how hard it is to find the right job. We have that in common.
KEN: Do we? BARRY: Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's just what I was thinking about doing. (Ken reaches for a fork on the table but knocks if on the floor. He goes to pick it up) VANESSA: Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right. (Ken quickly rises back up after hearing this but hits his head on the table and yells) BARRY: I'm going to drain the old stinger. KEN: Yeah, you do that. (Barry flies past Ken to get to the bathroom and Ken freaks out, splashing some of the wine he was using to cool his head in his eyes. He yells in anger) (Barry looks at the magazines featuring his victories in court) BARRY: Look at that. (Barry flies into the bathroom) (He puts his hand on his head but this makes hurts him and makes him even madder. He yells again) (Barry is washing his hands in the sink but then Ken walks in) KEN: You know, you know I've just about had it (Closes bathroom door behind him) with your little mind games. (Ken is menacingly rolling up a magazine) BARRY:
(Backing away) - What's that? KEN: - Italian Vogue. BARRY: Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages. KEN: It's a lot of ads. BARRY: Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine? KEN: That's funny, I just can't seem to recall that! (Ken smashes everything off the sink with the magazine and Barry narrowly escapes) (Ken follows Barry around and tries to hit him with the magazine but he keeps missing) (Ken gets a spray bottle) : I think something stinks in here! BARRY: (Enjoying the spray) I love the smell of flowers. (Ken holds a lighter in front of the spray bottle) KEN: How do you like the smell of flames?! BARRY: Not as much. (Ken fires his make-shift flamethrower but misses Barry, burning the bathroom. He torches the whole room but looses his footing and falls into the bathtub. After getting hit in the head by falling objects 3 times he picks up the shower head, revealing a Water bug hiding under it) WATER BUG: Water bug! Not taking sides!
(Barry gets up out of a pile of bathroom supplies and he is wearing a chapstick hat) BARRY: Ken, I'm wearing a Chapstick hat! This is pathetic! (Ken switches the shower head to lethal) KEN: I've got issues! (Ken sprays Barry with the shower head and he crash lands into the toilet) (Ken menacingly looks down into the toilet at Barry) Well, well, well, a royal flush! BARRY: - You're bluffing. KEN: - Am I? (flushes toilet) (Barry grabs a chapstick from the toilet seat and uses it to surf in the flushing toilet) BARRY: Surf's up, dude! (Barry flies out of the toilet on the chapstick and sprays Ken's face with the toilet water) : EW,Poo water! BARRY: That bowl is gnarly. KEN: (Aiming a toilet cleaner at Barry) Except for those dirty yellow rings! (Barry cowers and covers his head and Vanessa runs in and takes the toilet cleaner from Ken just before he hits Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth! What are you doing?! KEN== (Leaning towards Barry)
You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it! VANESSA: We need to talk! (Vanessa pulls Ken out of the bathroom) : He's just a little bee! : And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time! KEN: Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life? VANESSA: No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them! KEN: Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night... : My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye, Ken. (Ken huffs and walks out and slams the door. But suddenly he walks back in and stares at Barry) : And for your information, I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners MADE BY MAN! (Ken leaves again and Vanessa leans in towards Barry) VANESSA: I'm sorry about all that. (Ken walks back in again)
KEN: I know it's got an aftertaste! I LIKE IT! (Ken leaves for the last time) VANESSA: I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me. : I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well. : Are you OK for the trial? BARRY: I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas. (Flash forward in time and Barry, Adam, and Vanessa are back in court) MONTGOMERY-- We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand. ADAM: Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers... (Barry stares at Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton, you've gotta weave some magic with this jury, or it's gonna be all over. MONTGOMERY: Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around : is to remind them of what they don't like about bees. (To lawyer)

• You got the tweezers? LAWYER:
• Are you allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only to losing, son. Only to losing. : Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know. : What exactly is your relationship (Points to Vanessa) : to that woman? BARRY: We're friends. MONTGOMERY:
• Good friends? BARRY:
• Yes. MONTGOMERY: How good? Do you live together? ADAM: Wait a minute... : MONTGOMERY: Are you her little... : ...bedbug? (Adam's stinger starts vibrating. He is agitated) I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,
  : doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children? BARRY:
  
• Yeah, but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing at Janet and Martin)
  
• So those aren't your real parents! JANET:
  
• Oh, Barry... BARRY:
  
• Yes, they are! ADAM: Hold me back! (Vanessa tries to hold Adam back. He wants to sting Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson? ADAM: He's denouncing bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't y'all date your cousins? (Montgomery leans over on the jury stand and stares at Adam) VANESSA:
  
• Objection! (Vanessa raises her hand to object but Adam gets free. He flies straight at Montgomery) =ADAM:
  
• I'm going to pincushion this guy! BARRY: Adam, don't! It's what he wants! (Adam stings Montgomery in the butt and he starts thrashing around)
  

MONTGOMERY: Oh, I'm hit!! : Oh, lordy, I am hit! JUDGE BUMBLETON: (Banging gavel) Order! Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins! : I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction! : You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages! : Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way! BARRY: - Adam, stay with me. ADAM: - I can't feel my legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting and throwing his body around the room) What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison : from my heaving buttocks? JUDGE BUMLBETON: I will have order in this court. Order!
: Order, please! (Flash forward in time and we see a human news reporter) NEWS REPORTER: The case of the honeybees versus the human race : took a pointed turn against the bees : yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery. (Adam is laying in a hospital bed and Barry flies in to see him) BARRY: - Hey, buddy. ADAM: - Hey. BARRY: - Is there much pain? ADAM: - Yeah. : I... : I blew the whole case, didn't I? BARRY: It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died. ADAM: I'd be better off dead. Look at me. (A small plastic sword is replaced as Adam's stinger) They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.
: Look, there's a little celery still on it. (Flicks off the celery and sighs) BARRY: What was it like to sting someone? ADAM: I can't explain it. It was all... : All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy! BARRY: ...All right. ADAM: You think it was all a trap? BARRY: Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this. : What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world. ADAM: What will the humans do to us if they win? BARRY: I don't know. ADAM: I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad. BARRY: Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!
ADAM: Oh, my. (Coughs) Could you get a nurse to close that window? BARRY: - Why? ADAM: - The smoke. (We can see that two humans are smoking cigarettes outside) : Bees don't smoke. BARRY: Right. Bees don't smoke. : Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking. : That's it! That's our case! ADAM: It is? It's not over? BARRY: Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere. : Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can. (Flash forward in time and Adam is making a paper boat in the courtroom) ADAM: And assuming you've done step 29 correctly, you're ready for the tub! (We see that the jury have each made their own paper boats after being taught how by Adam. They all look confused) JUDGE BUMBLETON:
Mr. Flayman. ADAM: Yes? Yes, Your Honor! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Where is the rest of your team? ADAM: (Continues stalling) Well, Your Honor, it's interesting. : Bees are trained to fly haphazardly, : and as a result, we don't make very good time. : I actually heard a funny story about... MONTGOMERY: Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs : taken up enough of this court's valuable time? : How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on? : They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges : against my clients, who run legitimate businesses. : I move for a complete dismissal
of this entire case! JUDGE BUMBLETON: Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going : to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion. ADAM: But you can't! We have a terrific case. MONTGOMERY: Where is your proof? Where is the evidence? : Show me the smoking gun! BARRY: (Barry flies in through the door) Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun? : Here is your smoking gun. (Vanessa walks in holding a bee smoker. She sets it down on the Judge's podium) JUDGE BUMBLETON: What is that? BARRY: It's a bee smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks up smoker) What, this? This harmless little contraption? : This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee. (Montgomery accidentally fires it at the bees in the crowd and they faint
and cough) (Dozens of reporters start taking pictures of the suffering bees) BARRY: Look at what has happened : to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?" : Is this what nature intended for us? : To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines : and man-made wooden slat work camps? : Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man? (Barry points to the honey industry owners. One of them is an African American so he awkwardly separates himself from the others) LAWYER: - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card. BARRY: Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees! ADAM AND VANESSA: Free the bees! Free the bees! BEES IN CROWD: Free the bees! HUMAN JURY: Free the bees! Free the bees! JUDGE BUMBLETON: The court finds in favor of the bees!
BARRY: Vanessa, we won! VANESSA: I knew you could do it! High-five! (Vanessa hits Barry hard because her hand is too big) : Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm OK! You know what this means? : All the honey will finally belong to the bees. : Now we won't have to work so hard all the time. MONTGOMERY: This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson. : You'll regret this. (Montgomery leaves and Barry goes outside the courtroom. Several reporters start asking Barry questions) REPORTER 1#: Barry, how much honey is out there? BARRY: All right. One at a time. REPORTER 2#: Barry, who are you wearing? BARRY: My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.
(Barry flies outside with the paparazzi and Adam and Vanessa stay back) ADAM: (To Vanessa) - What if Montgomery's right? Vanessa: - What do you mean? ADAM: We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to a man) BUSINESS MAN: Congratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement? BARRY: First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps. (As Barry is talking we see a montage of men putting "closed" tape over the work camps and freeing the bees in the crappy apartments) Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with, : every last drop. (Men in suits are pushing all the honey of the aisle and into carts) We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more (We see a statue of a bear-shaped honey container being pulled down by bees) than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine. : We're all aware of what they do in the woods. (We see Winnie the Pooh sharing his honey with Piglet in the cross-hairs of a high-tech sniper rifle) BARRY: (Looking through binoculars)
Wait for my signal. : Take him out. (Winnie gets hit by a tranquilizer dart and dramatically falls off the log he was standing on, his tongue hanging out. Piglet looks at Pooh in fear and the Sniper takes the honey.) SNIPER: He'll have nausea for a few hours, then he'll be fine. (Flash forward in time) BARRY: And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames... (Mr. Sting is sitting at home until he is taken out of his house by the men in suits) STING: But it's just a prance-about stage name! BARRY: ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products : and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments. (An old lady is mixing honey into her tea but suddenly men in suits smash her face down on the table and take the honey) OLD LADY: Can't breathe. (A honey truck pulls up to Barry's hive) WORKER: Bring it in, boys! : Hold it right there! Good. : Tap it.
(Tons of honey is being pumped into the hive's storage) BEE WORKER 1#: (Honey overflows from the cup) Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming! : - I think we need to shut down! =BEE WORKER #2= - Shut down? We've never shut down. : Shut down honey production! DEAN BUZZWELL: Stop making honey! (The bees all leave their stations. Two bees run into a room and they put the keys into a machine) Turn your key, sir! (Two worker bees dramatically turn their keys, which opens the button which they press, shutting down the honey-making machines. This is the first time this has ever happened) BEE: ...What do we do now? (Flash forward in time and a Bee is about to jump into a pool full of honey) Cannonball! (The bee gets stuck in the honey and we get a short montage of Bees leaving work) (We see the Pollen Jocks flying but one of them gets a call on his antenna) LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") We're shutting honey production! : Mission abort. POLLEN JOCK #1: Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base. (The Pollen Jocks fly back to the hive)
(We get a time lapse of Central Park slowly wilting away as the bees all relax) BARRY: Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there. ADAM: Oh, yeah? BARRY: What's going on? Where is everybody? (The entire street is deserted) : - Are they out celebrating? ADAM: - They're home. : They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in. : I heard your Uncle Carl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket. BARRY: At least we got our honey back. ADAM: Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't? : It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it. : This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well. :
And now... : Now I can't. (Flash forward in time and Barry is talking to Vanessa) BARRY: I don't understand why they're not happy. : I thought their lives would be better! : They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people. VANESSA: You don't have any idea what's going on, do you? BARRY: - What did you want to show me? (Vanessa takes Barry to the rooftop where they first had coffee and points to her store) VANESSA: - This. (Points at her flowers. They are all grey and wilting) BARRY: What happened here? VANESSA: That is not the half of it. (Small flash forward in time and Vanessa and Barry are on the roof of her store and she points to Central Park) (We see that Central Park is no longer green and colorful, rather it is grey, brown, and dead-like. It is very depressing to look at) BARRY: Oh, no. Oh, my. :
They're all wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't look very good, does it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And whose fault do you think that is? BARRY: You know, I'm gonna guess bees. VANESSA== (Staring at Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically, me. : I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things. VANESSA: It's not just flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees. BARRY: That's our whole SAT test right there. VANESSA: Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom. : And then, of course... BARRY: The human species? : So if there's no more pollination,
: it could all just go south here, couldn't it? VANESSA: I know this is also partly my fault. BARRY: How about a suicide pact? VANESSA: How do we do it? BARRY: - I'll sting you, you step on me. VANESSA: - That just kills you twice. BARRY: Right, right. VANESSA: Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going. (Vanessa leaves) BARRY: (To himself) I had to open my mouth and talk. : Vanessa? : Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going? (Vanessa is getting into a taxi) VANESSA: To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena. :
They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying. : It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it. BARRY: Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this. VANESSA: I know. Me neither. (The taxi starts to drive away) BARRY: Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports. : Wait a minute. Roses. Roses? : Roses! : Vanessa! (Barry flies after the Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! : Barry? (Barry is flying outside the window of the taxi) BARRY: - Roses are flowers! VANESSA: - Yes, they are. BARRY: Flowers, bees, pollen!
VANESSA: I know. That's why this is the last parade. BARRY: Maybe not. Could you ask him to slow down? VANESSA: Could you slow down? (The taxi driver screeches to a stop and Barry keeps flying forward) : Barry! (Barry flies back to the window) BARRY: OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault. VANESSA: Yes, it kind of is. BARRY: I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you : with the flower shop. I've made it worse. VANESSA: Actually, it's completely closed down. BARRY: I thought maybe you were remodeling. : But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined. VANESSA: I don't want to hear it!
BARRY: All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen. : I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park. : All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got. : - Bees. VANESSA: - Park. BARRY: - Pollen! VANESSA: - Flowers. BARRY: - Re-pollination! VANESSA: - Across the nation! : Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, California. : They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy. : Security will be tight. BARRY: I have an idea.
(Flash forward in time. Vanessa is about to board a plane which has all the Roses on board. VANESSA: Vanessa Bloome, FTD. (Holds out badge) : Official floral business. It's real. SECURITY GUARD: Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch. =VANESSA== Thank you. It was a gift. (Barry is revealed to be hiding inside the brooch) (Flash back in time and Barry and Vanessa are discussing their plan) BARRY: Once inside, we just pick the right float. VANESSA: How about The Princess and the Pea? : I could be the princess, and you could be the pea! BARRY: Yes, I got it. : - Where should I sit? GUARD: - What are you? BARRY: - I believe I'm the pea. GUARD: - The pea? VANESSA:
It goes under the mattresses. GUARD: - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal. VANESSA: You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco! : Let's see what this baby'll do. (Vanessa drives the float through traffic) GUARD: Hey, what are you doing?! BARRY== Then all we do is blend in with traffic... : ...without arousing suspicion. : Once at the airport, there's no stopping us. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are about to get on a plane) SECURITY GUARD: Stop! Security. : - You and your insect pack your float? VANESSA: - Yes. SECURITY GUARD: Has it been in your possession the entire time? VANESSA: - Yes.
SECURITY GUARD: Would you remove your shoes? (To Barry) - Remove your stinger. BARRY: - It's part of me. SECURITY GUARD: I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight. (Barry plotting with Vanessa) BARRY: Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job. (Flash forward in time and Barry and Vanessa are flying on the plane) Can you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job! VANESSA: I think this is gonna work. BARRY: It's got to work. CAPTAIN SCOTT: (On intercom) Attention, passengers, this is Captain Scott. : We have a bit of bad weather in New York. : It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay. VANESSA: Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it. BARRY:
I gotta get up there and talk to them. VANESSA== Be careful. (Barry flies right outside the cockpit door) BARRY: Can I get help with the Sky Mall magazine? I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer. (The flight attendant opens the door and walks out and Barry flies into the cockpit unseen) BARRY: Captain, I'm in a real situation. CAPTAIN SCOTT: - What'd you say, Hal? CO-PILOT HAL: - Nothing. (Scott notices Barry and freaks out) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No,no,no, Don't freak out! My entire species... (Captain Scott gets out of his seat and tries to suck Barry into a handheld vacuum) HAL: (To Scott) What are you doing? (Barry lands on Hals hair but Scott sees him. He tries to suck up Barry but instead he sucks up Hals toupee) CAPTAIN SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney!
HAL: (Hal doesn't know Barry is on his head) - Who's an attorney? CAPTAIN SCOTT: Don't move. (Scott hits Hal in the face with the vacuum in an attempt to hit Barry. Hal is knocked out and he falls on the life raft button which launches an infalatable boat into Scott, who gets knocked out and falls to the floor. They are both uncounscious.) BARRY: (To himself) Oh, Barry. BARRY: (On intercom, with a Southern accent) Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain. : Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit? (Vanessa looks confused) (Normal accent) ...And please hurry! (Vanessa opens the door and sees the life raft and the uncounscious pilots) VANESSA: What happened here? BARRY: I tried to talk to them, but then there was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded. : Now one's bald, one's in a boat, and they're both unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is that another bee joke? BARRY:

• No! : No one's flying the plane! BUD DITCHWATER: (Through radio on plane) This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status? VANESSA: This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York. BUD: Where's the pilot? VANESSA: He's unconscious, and so is the copilot. BUD: Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience? BARRY: As a matter of fact, there is. BUD:
• Who's that? BARRY:
• Barry Benson. BUD: From the honey trial?! Oh, great. BARRY: Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee. : It's got giant wings, huge engines.

VANESSA: I can't fly a plane. BARRY: - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? VANESSA: - Yes. BARRY: How hard could it be? (Vanessa sits down and flies for a little bit but we see lightning clouds outside the window) VANESSA: Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning. (An ominous lightning storm looms in front of the plane) (We are now watching the Bee News) BOB BUMBLE: This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport, : where a suspenseful scene is developing. : Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory... ADAM: That's Barry! BOB BUMBLE: ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers : and an incapacitated flight crew. JANET, MARTIN, UNCLE CAR AND ADAM: Flowers?! (The scene switches to the human news)
REPORTER: (Talking with Bob Bumble) We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls : with absolutely no flight experience. BOB BUMBLE: Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane. BUD: I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres. : They've done enough damage. REPORTER: But isn't he your only hope? BUD: Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all. : Their wings are too small... BARRY: (Through radio) Haven't we heard this a million times? : "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."... BOB BUMBLE: - Get this on the air! BEE: - Got it.
BEE NEWS CREW: - Stand by. BEE NEWS CREW: - We're going live! BARRY: (Through radio on TV) ...The way we work may be a mystery to you. : Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs. : But let me tell you about a small job. : If you do it well, it makes a big difference. : More than we realized. To us, to everyone. : That's why I want to get bees back to working together. : That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O. : We get behind a fellow. : - Black and yellow! BEES: - Hello! (The scene switches and Barry is teaching Vanessa how to fly) BARRY:
Left, right, down, hover. VANESSA: - Hover? BARRY: - Forget hover. VANESSA: This isn't so hard. (Pretending to honk the horn) Beep-beep! Beep-beep! (A Lightning bolt hits the plane and autopilot turns off) Barry, what happened?! BARRY: Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time. VANESSA: - That may have been helping me. BARRY: - And now we're not! VANESSA: So it turns out I cannot fly a plane. (The plane plummets but we see Lou Lu Duva and the Pollen Jocks, along with multiple other bees flying towards the plane) Lou Lu DUva: All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out! : Move out! (The scene switches back to Vanessa and Barry in the plane) BARRY: Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane! (Barry sticks out his arms like an airplane and flys in front of Vanessa's face)
VANESSA: Don't have to yell. BARRY: I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble. VANESSA: It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice! BARRY: It's not a tone. I'm panicking! VANESSA: I can't do this! (Barry slaps Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it! VANESSA: (Slaps Barry) You snap out of it. BARRY: (Slaps Vanessa) : You snap out of it. VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! (We see that all the Pollen Jocks are flying under the plane) VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it!
VANESSA: - You snap out of it! BARRY: - You snap out of it! VANESSA: - Hold it! BARRY: - Why? Come on, it's my turn. VANESSA: How is the plane flying? (The plane is now safely flying) VANESSA: I don't know. (Barry's antennae rings like a phone. Barry picks up) BARRY: Hello? LOU LU DUVA: (Through "phone") Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there? (All of the Pollen Jocks are carrying the plane) BARRY: The Pollen Jocks! : They do get behind a fellow. LOU LU DUVA: - Black and yellow. POLLEN JOCKS: - Hello. LOU LU DUVA: All right, let's drop this tin can
on the blacktop. BARRY: Where? I can't see anything. Can you? VANESSA: No, nothing. It's all cloudy. : Come on. You got to think bee, Barry. BARRY: - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee. (On the runway there are millions of bees laying on their backs) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something. VANESSA: - What? BARRY: - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me. : Like a 27-million-year-old instinct. : Bring the nose down. BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! CONTROL TOWER OPERATOR: - What in the world is on the tarmac? BUD: - Get some lights on that!
(It is revealed that all the bees are organized into a giant pulsating flower formation) BEES: Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! BARRY: - Vanessa, aim for the flower. VANESSA: - OK. BARRY: Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys? LOU LU DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it. : Land on that flower! : Ready? Full reverse! : Spin it around! (The plane's nose is pointed at a flower painted on a nearby plane) - Not that flower! The other one! VANESSA: - Which one? BARRY: - That flower. (The plane is now pointed at a fat guy in a flowered shirt. He freaks out and tries to take a picture of the plane) VANESSA: - I'm aiming at the flower!
BARRY: That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower made of millions of bees! (The plane hovers over the bee-flower) : Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up. : Rotate around it. VANESSA: - This is insane, Barry! BARRY: - This's the only way I know how to fly. BUD: Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern? (The plane is unrealistically hovering and spinning over the bee-flower) BARRY: Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse! : Just drop it. Be a part of it. : Aim for the center! : Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman! : Come on, already. (The bees scatter and the plane safely lands) VANESSA: Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!
BARRY: - Yes! (Vanessa is about to high-five Barry) No high-five! VANESSA: - Right. ADAM: Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower? BARRY: What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius! ADAM: - Thank you. BARRY: - But we're not done yet. : Listen, everyone! : This runway is covered with the last pollen : from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth. : That means this is our last chance. : We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this. : If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?
: Are we going to be bees, or just Museum of Natural History keychains? BEES: We're bees! BEE WHO LIKES KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then follow me! Except Keychain. POLLEN JOCK #1: Hold on, Barry. Here. : You've earned this. BARRY: Yeah! : I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves. (The Pollen Jocks throw Barry a nectar-collecting gun. Barry catches it) Oh, yeah. JANET: That's our Barry. (Barry and the Pollen Jocks get pollen from the flowers on the plane) (Flash forward in time and the Pollen Jocks are flying over NYC) : (Barry pollinates the flowers in Vanessa's shop and then heads to Central Park) BOY IN PARK: Mom! The bees are back! ADAM: (Putting on his Krelman hat) If anybody needs
to make a call, now's the time. : I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight! (The bee honey factories are back up and running) (Meanwhile at Vanessa's shop) VANESSA: (To customer) Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Can I help who's next? : Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these. (There is a room in the shop where Barry does legal work for other animals. He is currently talking with a Cow) COW: Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel! : Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat! BARRY: I had no idea. VANESSA: Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment? BARRY: Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry I'm late. COW: He's a lawyer too?
MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am, I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase. VANESSA: Have a great afternoon! : Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere. BARRY: No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me. VANESSA: You're a lifesaver, Barry. Can I help who's next? BARRY: All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly. VANESSA: Thank you, Barry! (Ken walks by on the sidewalk and sees the "bee-approved honey" in Vanessa's shop) KEN: That bee is living my life!! ANDY: Let it go, Kenny. KEN: - When will this nightmare end?! ANDY: - Let it all go. BARRY: - Beautiful day to fly. POLLEN JOCK:

• Sure is. BARRY: Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office. (Barry recreates the scene near the beginning of the movie where he flies through the box kite. The movie fades to black and the credits being) [--after credits; No scene can be seen but the characters can be heard talking over the credits--] You have got to start thinking bee, my friend! :
• Thinking bee!
• Me? BARRY: (Talking over singer) Hold it. Let's just stop for a second. Hold it. : I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone. Can we stop here? SINGER: Oh, BarryBARRY: I'm not making a major life decision during a production number! SINGER: All right. Take ten, everybody. Wrap it up, guys. BARRY: I had virtually no rehearsal for that.

❗ About 600 square kilometers of Kherson region have been flooded. First deaths are reported on the left bank of the Dnipro river. Russia shells Kherson during flood evacuations, leaving nine people wounded. Ukraine begins a counteroffensive against Russia⤵
600 kilomètres carrés d'inondations : il y a des morts sur la rive gauche, les Russes ont bombardé Kherson - 9 blessés, les forces armées ukrainiennes lancent une contre-offensive.
About 600 sq. km of Kherson region flooded, first deaths reported on left bank of river
As of the morning of June 8, the average level of flooding after the blast at the Kakhovka hydroelectric power plant was 5.61 meters. About 600 square kilometers of Kherson region were under water, which is twice the size of the Maldives. Head of the Kherson regional military administration Oleksandr Prokudin said that 32 per cent of the flooded territory was on the Ukrainian-controlled right bank of the Dnipro River, and 68 per cent was on the Russian-held left bank. He said 1,999 people had left flooded territory as of 6 a.m. on Thursday, most of them – 1,495, were evacuated from the Korabel district in Kherson. “The situation on the left bank is extremely difficult. People are suffering not only from flood waters, but also from Russian terror and lack of will by the occupying forces to help them,” Prokudin said. The first deaths as a result of flooding from the destruction of the Kakhovka hydroelectric power plant were reported in Oleshky, on the Russian-held left bank of the river.
As of Thursday morning, in Mykolayiv, water levels rose by almost one meter, the city’s mayor Oleksandr Senkevych said. In some lower parts of the city, the shore line was being reinforced to protect nearby homes.
The Kinburn Spit has turned into an island. The road that connected the spit to the mainland in the western part of Kherson region on the left bank of the Dnipro, was completely flooded, the Southern Forest Service said. It is no longer possible to get to the mainland by land.
Russia shells Kherson during flood evacuations, leaving nine people wounded
Russian forces began to shell Kherson in the afternoon as people were being evacuated because of flooding caused by the blast at the Kakhovka hydroelectric power plant. Head of the Kherson regional military administration Oleksandr Prokudin said: “The strikes target coastal areas and the city center.”
The Russians are “just terrorists,” Head of the Office of the President of Ukraine Andriy Yermak said, as Russia shelled flood-hit Kherson. Nine people were wounded, including two rescue workers from the State Emergency Service of Ukraine, a policeman, a medic, and a German volunteer. One person was taken to the hospital’s emergency department.
Ukraine begins counteroffensive against Russia, media say
Ukraine on Thursday began its long-awaited counteroffensive against Russia, officials told ABC News.
Two Ukrainian officials, including a source close to President Volodymyr Zelenskyi, confirmed to ABC News that an active phase of the Ukrainian counteroffensive is underway.
Well-trained Ukrainian troops had been gathering at strategic locations near the front lines in recent days, Western officials said last week.
Ukraine’s troops intensified their attacks on the front line in the country’s southeast, according to four individuals in the country’s armed forces who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to publicly discuss the battlefield developments, the Washington Post said.
The Ukrainian troops include specialized attack units armed with Western weapons and trained in NATO tactics. The attacks in the country’s southeast mark a significant push into Russian-occupied territory.
By cutting south through the Zaporizhzhia region’s flat fields, Kyiv’s forces could aim to sever the “land bridge” between mainland Russia and occupied Crimea, cutting off crucial Russian supply lines.
Ukrainian journalists: direct targets of russian deliberate attacks. Ukraine in Flames #455

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My father was not a good man, I know this. But when I think of him, I first recall his warmth, his kindness, and his strength. I remember vividly watching him toil away at backbreaking labor to support us. I was amazed by the strength of his hands, and how gentle they were with me. And then my stomach drops into a pit because now I know that with those same hands, he took the lives of countless innocent people.
My earliest memory is of him. I was 4 and I was trying to convince him to let me take in a stray dog I had found wandering an abandoned lot.
“We can’t, it’d be too much trouble to lug the mutt around, we have a hard enough time with just the two of us.” He said.
“We can leave him with lots of food until we come back,” I countered.
“Dogs aren’t like people, they’re bound by instinct. If you leave a month's worth of food out for a dog it won’t ration its food out so that it can eat happily for a month, no it’ll gorge itself and eat all the food available to it, that’s its nature, its instinct. And once there’s nothing left and hunger creeps in it might go out into the world in search of a new meal, and we’ve already learned that its instinct is to consume as much as it can while it can. That’s why we’re around, to control that which is bestial.” He said, his eyes tainted with an existential melancholy.
Even now when I think about it a trickle of cold sweat crawls achingly slow down the side of my brow, he was so close to telling me the truth back then. I wondered if the possibility of passing on his burden was what caused the derailment of his life lesson.
Our life was unconventional, spent in countless cheap, dirty roadside motels as we trekked aimlessly through the states. Sometimes we slept in abandoned lots and dark parking lots and on cold nights we clung to each other, knowing that there was no one else in the world that would care for us, but us. He tried his best to provide for me and I never went hungry, even on our worst days his patience and understanding were unmatched by any man I have known sense.
The first time I suspected my father was involved in something grisly was when I was 9. He had left me alone in our motel with the TV on and a pizza box. He must have been gone for 11 hours at least, and I began to worry that something terrible happened to him. The entire week something had been off, there was a heaviness in the air, and a chill seemed to stalk us. It was the middle of a brutal summer but every enclosed space I found myself in was wicked of its heat until the very breaths I exhaled were visible. I noticed that my father was suffering from some mental fatigue, was more irritable than usual, and had a mounting nervousness that made him quick to sequester us in our hotel. He left that day saying that there was something he needed to do but promised he’d be back. But as the clock neared 1 am I was afraid that I’d never see him again.
The relief I felt when he rushed into our hotel room was short-lived when I saw the state he was in. His dark hair was disheveled, splattered with a slick substance, and his eyes were crazed. What stood out most of all was the angry red lines criss-crossing his face and neck. He told me to get my things as he quickly made his way into the shower. I did as I was told, the panicked tone of his voice infused a frenzy into my movements, and all I owned was half haphazardly thrown into my backpack. My father stepped out of the shower and as he dressed I noticed the deep scratches raked into his forearms and back, even at that age it was unmistakable. Violence.
We drove away from that motel in silence, with no alarm or danger given voice by my father. But an undeniable sense of wrongness lingered in the air, heavy and undispellable, I knew deep in the pit of my gut that we had committed some great evil. Dad however was at ease, as if some great weight had just been lifted off his shoulders, and as days passed I noticed the stalking cold had faded.
3 years passed and I had smartened up by then and as I began to recall and re-examine, I began to piece things together. Through the layers of denial and rationalization, I knew what he had done. I held on to the hope that the motel incident was the last time, that we could move forward and with time, forget. And then he killed Morgan. There was a build-up to it, that same strange chill, the sense of impending doom, and then Dad left like he always did, and when he came back the stalking specter was gone and so was Morgan. I didn’t know him, couldn’t bring myself to even look into him even now. I only caught wind of him through a radio broadcast as we hastily left yet another small town. My dad quickly switched stations and I knew it had been him. I think he knew that I knew then, the nervousness in both our eyes communicating more between us than we’d ever could with words.
I took part in my first murder at 15. It wasn’t planned, wasn’t a rite of passage. It was more like a car crash, flying at 120 miles per hour straight into the embankment. Her name was Laurie Artwood, a local prostitute. I forced myself to look this time even if it was a glance at a driver's license moments before it was tossed into flames. Her name, her face, all seared into the flesh of my mind. It was the moment she stepped out bloodied and starry-eyed as a curtain of blood cascaded down the side of her head. A flap of flesh dangled loosely from her scalp, weighed and dragged down by curly auburn hair. As we locked eyes and hope flushed into her iris I looked away and saw the crimson-slicked and chipped exposed skull. She screamed then and I flinched and doubled back at her, seeing the desperate sprint she made towards the car I had been sleeping in. Dad closed the distance, spriting on long powerful legs, the glint of a deadly metal arc flashing briefly in the moonlight before he brought the ax down with a powerful and meaty THWACK
I saw the light leave her eyes as the floor rushed up to meet her. Dad pried the ax loose with a foot and brought it down thrice more. I watched in horror, spewing vomit and tears as a blood rain coated the floor and car. I was comatose by the time he finally entered the driver's seat, the crazed look from 6 years earlier was mirrored and I knew he had always been like this. He chanted “fuck” under his breath, like a mantra as he scrambled to start the car and when the engine roared to life silence fell like a guillotine. We drove off into the night and I was left with the knowledge that I had killed her with my inaction.
Dawn was starting to peek through the horizon when we finally came to some unnamed backwater town with a self-serve car wash. I watched as Dad fed the machine a handful of quarters and proceeded to wash the car clean. The cold spray made the bitter morning cold all the harsher, and with each passing moment, I felt the question, the demand bubbling up inside me.
“Why?” I asked, quietly.
It cleaved through the whir and sound of pressurized water and Dad heard it, turned to face me, and said “Soon.” so we waited until the water ran clear and the sun rose and off we drove to some far-flung forest edge where he pulled over. A cigarette was lit and Dad took a long drag until his lungs hurt and he couldn’t hold it any longer. He breathed the plume of smoke out painting the world gray and held out the cigarette to me and I answered with a contemptuous glare.
“Alright, I guess it’s time you knew. You’d find out sooner or later, this thing will pass on to you eventually,” he said.
“Thing?”
“You’ve felt it before, I’m sure you have. The way it hungers, the way it loathes, and the way it schemes.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked but in the pit of my stomach, I had an inkling of what he meant.
He reached out and for a moment I froze, but this was my Dad, he wouldn’t hurt me, couldn’t. So I let him take hold of my shoulders and turn me to face the sunrise.
“If it’s here, it means they haven’t found her body yet, you can’t see it by looking through your eyes. Think of what you have and what you’ve lost. What I’ve taken from you because I couldn’t bear the thought of doing this alone.”
I did, I could have had a normal life, friends, a family, first love. Anything but this vagrant lifestyle, knowing the person you cherished the most was a monster and having him drag you into his hell. And then I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, a longing blossoming and the crushing weight of its existence.
“Now show yourself,” he said
And in the glow of the morning sun, it did. I didn’t know if the thing was malformed or degraded, just that it didn’t belong. Multiple forms convened and interlaced within the same space, upon a glance it was a human silhouette, weaved in shadow. But in that same instance, it was a cuboid thing, far too large for the space it existed in, its surface pocked and scarred by clockwork machinery, passages, and labyrinthian tunnels. It was constantly turning, shifting, and restructuring, I didn’t know where to look. If I focused on its maze-like circuitry I would lose myself in the maddening scramble to navigate them. And if I saw the black of its being I would that beneath it all was a maw that opened wide and lapped hungrily at the world around it, feeding on something that still evaded me.
I tried to recoil, tried to move away from it but Dad caught me and held me firm, forcing me to gaze into the thing. Its once semi-translucent form grew vivid and real, solidifying its existence. A cloud of black smoke was being pulled from me into the hungry maws of its shadow self and in turn the machinery and clockworks of its exterior. It was devouring some part of me and it horrified me enough to try to turn and run but Dad’s firm hands held me still as he spoke.
“I think it might have had a purpose at one point, to lessen the weight of some great tragedy. But with time even blessings can become curses. I don’t know why it latched onto us, whether it was born or made, just that it needs to feed. And if we don’t feed it and control its urges, it might go out into the world and gorge itself on the grief it brings. The knowledge that I’m sparing the world from the havoc it could wreck is my sin and burden, and now… yours.”
I stood transfixed, gaze locked on the thing that fed on grief and stalked our bloodline and then it came to me, a question I had pondered but never voiced.
“What happened to Mom?”
I turned to face him and saw him drowning in pain, in guilt, in remorse. He looked away, and I knew. The world spun as bile threatened to force its way up. My lip quivered as I turned away, preferring to face the grief-devouring demon. But it had already faded to a phantasm, a moment later nothing remained.
“They found her.” was all my father said before he got back in the car. The moment of hesitation dragged out for what felt like an eternity but eventually, I was in the passenger seat alongside him, wondering how long this thing would be able to feed on the grief my father wrought that night before he’d have to do it again.
2 years, 2 short years before the grief demon manifested again. I understood now, why it stuck close to us, why no suspicion ever came to us. It was a parasite, leeching from whoever it could with the least amount of effort. I tried telling dad if we let it starve it would go somewhere else, but he feared the lengths it would to feed itself.
“The world is drowning in pain, there’s no shortage of ways for it to gorge itself,” I told him.
“I can’t risk that, no one should suffer this, no one but me,” and he was off, searching for his next victim, unaware it was the last time we’d see each other.
He never found them, not that night. When he returned to the motel he found it empty. I took what I had and caught a bus to anywhere else, and kept going until I no longer could. The monstrous thing followed me for a night but when I greeted the following dawn it was gone and I knew Dad was the one grieving. The lump in my heart wasn’t heavy enough to turn my pace, I kept moving because it was all I could do. I found a job as a laborer, taking whatever anyone was willing to give me and for two years I broke my back scrounging change for nothing. Half a year ago I came home to my shitty apartment, opening the door I was greeted by a bone-deep chill and I froze. In the center of the room upon a thrifted coffee table it stood, crouched itself. The labyrinthian clockwork had slowed to a crawl and their underlying hungry mouths lapped up at the empty air. Some of them grinned at me, expectantly.
A scream tried to tear its way up my body but it was drowned out by something else, a smoldering emotion on the verge of catching flame. As the implication of the demon’s appearance settled in I felt it, grief. And then I cried, I cried for all I had lost and for what I never had. I cried, hoping to drown a space within me that grew with every second. As I collapsed into myself as the mechanisms of this thing unwound and opened and encircled me. The maws bit down deep on the flames of my pain and I drowned in the crushing weight of its presence, suffocated by my fire and its hunger. I was immobilized by it at first, as it fed on the grief cultivated over a lifetime. Days passed, then weeks, and then a month before a moment of clarity. A burden eased and I sought him out. Claimed his body and did what I could. It wasn’t much but the tiny urn they gave me could at least be carried until I found the courage to let him go.
I’ve carried them ever since. Their weight is great and some days I buckle and fall but I know that with each passing day, it gets easier, even if only a little. It won’t ever fade completely, I know that, but one day it’ll be ok. I’ll climb to his favorite cliffside, one that overlooked a redwood forest and there I’ll toss our burdens to the wind, let them be scattered, and be returned to the earth. The demon might stick around a bit longer, maybe much longer than anticipated. But I won’t let it be my cross to bear. I don’t know what it’ll do. Maybe it’ll latch onto someone else, maybe it will coast through the world feeding on the suffering as it passes them. Maybe Dad was right and it’ll gorge on the whole of the world’s grief until it can’t. Somehow I doubt that, not through any logical reasoning but because it’s what I have to believe if I want to live with myself. The only thing I know is that I’ll keep trudging forward until I can’t.
TW