Hi all! Sharing our FTHB journey here in case it's helpful to anyone!
We began looking for houses in late 2022, with a plan to move in the summer of 2023. We lived in a different state than we purchased (purchased in NC, and lived across the country), which was an additional challenge. We took about 2 months to follow houses in the areas that we wanted to live in and tried to take notes of what we did and didn't like, how long houses were staying on the market, and the original asking price vs the final selling price. We also got in contact with a few realtors and ended up really liking one. We were upfront about our situation (buying from out-of-state, our price limit, etc.) and she was fantastic.
After the new year, we started getting more serious about our house hunt. In February we saw 6 homes (some in-person, some via FaceTime), but didn't love any of them (for various reasons). At one of the homes, the listing agent was present and told our realtor that he had a house coming on the market soon that we'd be welcome to see. Since it was in a great location, we agreed and got a virtual tour. There was still quite a bit of work to be done (floors needed to be finished, appliances needed to be put back, etc.). We told our agent that we loved the area where the home was and would like to see it as soon as it was finished (or very nearly finished). The listing agent told our relator to give him about 3-4 weeks and we booked plane tickets so that we could see it for ourselves. It was a really cute house, with an awesome location, and he agreed to let it go for 6k under his initial asking price if we wanted to purchase it before it hit the market. We agreed, everyone signed the papers, and we were on our merry way--or so we thought.
The appraisal came back well (and the survey didn't reveal anything weird about the property lines), but the inspection was absolutely horrible. Foundation issues. Issues with the roof structuring. Random water leaks. Improper insulation (not nearly enough). Electrical issues. The list goes on and on. Our agent didn't tell us what to do or push us in any direction, but we told her that we wanted to back out and she was happy to take that on. The seller pushed back a little and said that he'd be willing to "have his people look at it" and also knock 9k off the price, but that was it. We walked. They still haven't listed this house for sale--not sure if they're actually trying to fix the problems, or just trying to sell it off-market to someone who will take their word for it.
Walking away certainly stung, so we took about a week off from house hunting to think about what we wanted to do next. During this time, a few houses came on the market that we liked, so we ended up viewing 5 houses in <48 hours (remotely). Of those 5, we loved 2 and ranked them. The #1 house had been on the market for 5 months (overpriced) so we asked our agent to verbally offer 50k under asking (we also waived their advertised concessions, promised to close within 4 weeks, and already had our pre-approval go through full underwriting to give the sellers confidence). The sellers said that they couldn't come down that much, but they counteroffered in the middle. We thanked them for their time but said that we couldn't go above our offer. At this point, we spoke to our realtor about an offer on our #2 house (had been on the market for ~3 months; they listed it well before they were able to move out, which I think wasn't reasonable for many buyers). As we were deciding on a number, the #1 house came back and said that the house had been on the market for long enough and that they'd accept our initial offer! We were completely stunned. Our realtor drew up the paperwork right away (this was already getting into the late evening). We couldn't believe our luck! Lo and behold, the next morning, the selling agent reached out to our realtor saying that the sellers slept on the offer and no longer wanted to accept it. Onto the next! (By the way, this house is STILL on the market!).
We then moved on to our #2 house and offered ~20k below asking (since it had been sitting on the market); we went back and forth with the sellers a little and finally landed on a price in the middle. Everyone signed the paperwork (yay!) and we agreed to a late closing to accommodate them. We got a clear title, survey that matched what they advertised, and an appraisal $1,000 above our offer. The inspection came back with mostly minor issues, but the inspector emphasized that the roof needed to be replaced. Our agent was able to get two roofers to the home (one that she suggested and one that we chose) and they both came back saying that they strongly felt the roof needed to be replaced and each bid ~10k. We went back to the sellers asking for 10k in concessions and apparently, they were rather furious and insisted that the house didn't need a new roof (even though they weren't sure when the roof was last replaced). All I know is that our agent was on the case and after 3 days of negotiations, we were able to get 8k in concessions. We closed on the house ~2 weeks later. Our agent was 10/10 during the whole process, which made a huge difference for us.
I truly did not appreciate how exhausting house hunting can be. It's a process full of highs and lows and is honestly kind of a part-time job while you're in the thick of things. I'm glad that everything worked out for us in the end, but the process itself is...intense!
I wish everyone a very happy and successful FTHB journey!

I originally posted this over on truezelda, but I figured I would share it on this subreddit as well.
I've been seeing a lot of chatter about how the developers never cared about the timeline, or that the "current" timeline is something they forced together to appease fans back in 2011.
I have my own opinions regarding the matter of what fans consider the official timeline, but the idea that the developers never tried to connect the games until more recent Zelda history is not correct.
Some time ago, I wrote a very long paper regarding this topic. I have no desire to repost it here, so instead I am going to do a quick and dirty summary of proof that almost every game until the BotW and Totk era had developer comments (or in-game references) that connected the games in some form of a timeline.
This is also not a "here is the timeline" post. I will not be making a timeline here, but rather just showing how the games connected via developer or in-game comments.
Furthermore, these developer comments in particular only tell us what the developers intended at the time, and it may no longer reflect the current timeline situation now.
ONE MORE NOTE: I had to remove some links to prevent this post from being autofiltered by Reddit, so I'm sorry if some links are missing.

LoZ - AoL

AoL is a direct sequel to LoZ, I don't think I need to elaborate further.

LttP - LoZ

From the back of the Japanese LttP Box (translated): "This time, the stage is set a long time before Link's adventures, in an era when Hyrule was still one country."
From the LttP player's guide: “Although The Legend of Zelda appeared first in the series of Zelda adventures, it actually takes place many years after the third game. In this time, Hyrule had declined, becoming a rustic land with few remaining signs of its former glory.”
An interview from Miyamoto published on Dec 20, 1991. From the translated page, here are the contents: Gods made Hyrule, Triforce was found and Ganon was born, Rise of Agahnim, Ganon revival (LoZ), Link is now 17 years old (AoL).

LttP - LA

From the Japanese LA Manual (translated): "You, who regained the peace of Hyrule from the demonic hands of the King of Evil, Ganon, had not enjoyed the achieved tranquility for too long, and had embarked on a journey of training in preparation for a new calamity."
From the LA DX website (translated): "Link, who restored peace to Hyrule after defeating the evil king Ganon and taking it back from his evil hands, didn't spend much resting, as he left for a journey of training to get ready for the next calamity. From The Legend of Zelda: Triforce of the Gods (SUPER FAMICOM Screen QT Move1 [631K])”
Movie link shows LttP Link defeating Ganon.

OoT - LttP

From an interview with Satoru Takizawa (character and enemy designer for OoT), published on Nov 11, 1998 (translated): "This time, the story really wasn't an original. We were dealing with the "The Imprisoning War of the Seven Sages" from the SNES edition Zelda. To give that game a little "secret" recognition, I thought that keeping the "pigness" in Ganon would be the correct course. So we made him a beast "with the feeling of a pig.""
From an interview with Toru Osawa (script director for OoT), published Dec 8, 1998 (translated): "In the SNES edition game, the story "Long ago, there was a war called the Imprisoning War" was passed along. A name in the Imprisoning War era is the name of a Town later. They were like "pseudo-secrets." We wanted to throw these out through the entirety of the game. That thing from then is now this. Though in this game Zelda is now included in the Seven Sages, the other six have the names of the town names from the Disk System edition "The Adventure of Link.""
There is more to this particular section, but for the sake of this post's length I will not be discussing this section further.

OoT - MM

MM is a direct sequel to OoT, I do not think I need to elaborate further.

LttP - OoS/OoA

From an article produced in Feb 2000 64Dream issue on OoS/OoA (pg. 106) (translated):

• The story has been changed from the version published in "Space World 99", and it is a story that continues after the SFC version "Triforce of the Gods". Learn more about the new and changed story below.
• Link has brought peace to the land of Hyrule many times. This time from an owner of a mysterious voice. He was put to the test.
• Link defeated the priest Aghanim and the demon king Ganon. Peace returned to the land of Hyrule after regaining the Triforce of Power, Wisdom, and Courage.

FS - OoT

From an interview with Aonuma published in 2004: "The GBA Four Swords Zelda is what we’re thinking as the oldest tale in the Zelda timeline. With this one on the GameCube [(FSA)] being a sequel to that, and taking place sometime after that."
From an interview with Miyamoto from 2003: "I'm actually not all that deeply involved in this other project, but that is actually the case. We have decided that the setting for the game is that it is kind of the very beginning."
*Note, WW and FS came out within months of each other. If you read this interview, it appears Miyamoto got WW confused with FS, based on how the rest of the conversation plays out. The interview was asking about WW, Miyamoto seems to have answered about FS.

OoT - WW

From an interview with Aonuma published Dec 6, 2002:

• "You can think of this game as taking place over a hundred years after Ocarina of Time. You can tell this from the opening story, and there are references to things from Ocarina located throughout the game as well."
• "Oh, right, let me elaborate on that. Ocarina of Time basically has two endings of sorts; one has Link as a child and the other has him as an adult. This game, The Wind Waker, takes place a hundred years after the adult Link defeats Ganon at the end of Ocarina."

FS - FSA

The introduction sequence of FSA talks about the tales of FS, making it its sequel.

MC - FS

MC tells the tale of how Vaati came to be, setting it before FS automatically.

OoT - TP

From an interview with Aonuma, published in Feb 2007: "The Wind Waker is parallel. In Ocarina of Time, Link flew seven years in time, he beat Ganon and went back to being a kid, remember? Twilight Princess takes place in the world of Ocarina of Time, a hundred and something years after the peace returned to kid Link’s time. In the last scene of Ocarina of Time, kids Link and Zelda have a little talk, and as a consequence of that talk, their relationship with Ganon takes a whole new direction. In the middle of this game [Twilight Princess], there's a scene showing Ganon's execution. It was decided that Ganon be executed because he'd do something outrageous if they left him be. That scene takes place several years after Ocarina of Time. Ganon was sent to another world and now he wants to obtain the power…"

WW - PH - ST

PH and ST are both direct sequels to WW, starring the same cast and/or the stated descendants of that cast. There is no need to go further into this.

SS - MC

From an interview with Aonuma, from Nov 14, 2011): "About that time, we began talking about how that would make this the first story in the series, and we wondered about involving the birth of Hyrule Kingdom. On the other hand, there was the setting of the floating island in the sky, and we thought, "How did that get there?""

LA - LBW

From an interview with Aonuma, released Oct 17, 2013:
Spike: "Where does the game fall in the Zelda timeline? And I have Hyrule Historia for reference if you need it."
Mr. Aonuma: "Right about here. (Pointing to the Decline of Hyrule and the Last Hero branch, right between the Golden Era and Era of Decline, after Links Awakening and before The Legend of Zelda)."

LBW - TFH

From an interview with Hirosama Shikata (director of TFH), published on Oct 25, 2015: "This a few years after A Link Between Worlds, and that influence may be because I was also the director on that game. Initially, the story starts with the king recruiting hero candidates, and that's where Link steps in. But there's a part of me that doesn't want people to come into the game thinking, "Is he not a hero then? Is he just a candidate?" I want to reassure people that this Link is the hero that came from the A Link Between Worlds world. It's a little unusual for a Zelda game, but it's the same hero."

Summary

There you go. Until BotW, if the game wasn't a clear sequel or prequel to another game, we had developer comments until 2015 that gave us a pretty clear idea how the game was intended to connect, even if it didn't really connect all that well. It also didn't necessarily give us a clear timeline either (like, FSA takes place after FS but where in the world does it take place in relation to the other games?)
Now whether or not they did a good job, or if they did cobble together a timeline for HH, is another matter. But for as long as the series had a second game, the games have had some sort of connection or intended connection or stated connection to another game. Even if it was an afterthought after development.

So I(27M) was taking a walk in a Park(in Paris) listening to podcast, a girl randomly approached me and started talking to me asking me questions like my name, where I am from etc, initially I thought she is approaching me for some donations or something. She noticed I was bit in hurry so she got straight to point complimented me a bit and asked for my number to connect later. I wasn’t sure what was happening and I was like “no thanks” tried to walk away.
She just got triggered or something like her ego was hurt. She started yelling at me and calling me shit like “ you are not even that good looking”, I was just too stunned to speak.
I just asked her to back off and walked away.I was feeling so much anger at her for ruining my day but didn’t want to create a scene.
In hindsight, I am not sure how to feel about this. Maybe on a different day I might have given her my number(she was really good looking) but my headspace was occupied with work when this incident happened.
Maybe I dodged a bullet. Not sure how to process this.

I’m 21 years old living together with my partner (also 21). He’s been drinking since around the end of summer last year and has been dealing with depression, borderline, anxiety and suicidal thoughts for a very long time. I love him more than anything but I don’t know how to handle this situation anymore. it hurts so much seeing the person you love, fall further into this dark pit every day. It’s so hard to play all grown up, mature and optimistic all the time, when I myself just feel like a kid who got thrown into the responsibilities of an adult. the time in school went by so fast and suddenly I’m working full time having my own home plus the situation stated at the beginning. I have no one I can talk to so I hope there is someone who can give me a bit of advice on how I can help him and get through this.

Minecraft's pvp meta been pretty tame with little to no real reasons to not use diamond armor until they added netherite. This was a great start but that's all it was a start. What I want to suggest is new material types. Add some variety to armor and tools. The thing is you can't just add another material type that's is stronger then netherite. What needs to be added is passive effect or something. For example maybe an armor type that makes you be able to he faster while air born so when flying with an elytra you harder to hit and do more damage. There should also be some downsides to them and make it so diamond is default. Right now I can't think of other good examples but I feel that this could add some variety and some fun exchanges between pvp fights and interactions.
There is also a downside with this kind of content, balance. Balancing pvp in many games is really hard and this is already a problem that can be seen in severs that allow it, Crystal/anchor pvp. But with the shield being able to block explosions gave new reasons to not have a totem but a shield in a fight. This shows that mojang can make decent changes to make pvp more balanced and enjoyable. It's all up to how much they add and take time balancing. This isn't something that can't be rushed and would probably take time. But in my opinion would be worth it and add so much great potential. Also something for people that grind the game to do.

Hey, recently I went to an interview for a Junior QA position(I'm no good with interviews) and they got back to me with feedback that my mindset is too much on the "gamer" side and I'm not thinking like QA enough. During the Interview, they asked me about scenarios like
~ "How Would you test a new gun implemented to a game like CS: GO" or ~ "How would you test new map" (same cs: go scenario)
my answers were 100% focused on functionality I'm not sure if I should talk about things like animations, audio/visual cues, and lighting. I would be grateful if someone could lead me in the direction of how I should answer these questions.

I originally submitted my claim back in February and had exams all through March with what I thought was the final C&P the last week of March. Then I got a letter about a sleep study that I completed last week. I’m trying to hold out and wait the normal timeline but financially it’s a struggle right now with my job and paying my house/bills. I had two ER trips in April/may that I’m getting bills for now and I just can’t do it anymore. I work my regular job get home late and UbeDoorDash on top of that just to put food on the table but I’m still behind.
How would an expedited claim work? How fast does that usually work out? Any help is very much appreciated atp

In 2003 I dropped out of high school and got my GED before my class even graduated, but never went to college. Worked retail and food service for a few years.
Since 2007 I have worked in an office setting under some kind of administrative umbrella. Various types of companies, such as medical and psychiatry offices, chemical production, commercial printing, automotive, and many more.
In 2015 I was hired as an admin assistant for what is basically a staffing agency (contract security) so I was assisting the HR department.
In 2017 I was promoted to HR Coordinator.
In 2020 I was promoted to HR Manager. I jumped ship late last year because the company was going in a direction I did not agree with. The 4 people I had worked with since 2015 also left the company around the same time I did. (Turns out they hired 2 people to replace little ol' me)
In Oct 2022 I took a temp-to-hire position as a recruiter, and now the "to-hire" part has been pulled out from under me as the company "restructures" the HR department globally. So I find myself looking for a job once again.
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So many job postings for recruiting and other HR roles state "bachelor's degree or equivalent experience preferred/required"
I do not have the resources to get a bachelor's, but have been looking into PHR and SHRM certifications but still researching options.
What constitutes as equivalent? I've been under the HR umbrella for a little over 8 years and have experience with every aspect of HR duties and responsibilities. Is it worth it to apply to these positions or am I out of my league here?

hi, hope everyone is doing well!
for anyone who was referred for speech therapy after jaw surgery, could you share your experience? what did the sessions entail, how frequent were the sessions, and what impact did you notice they have on your post-op experience?
i would greatly appreciate any insight you could share - thank you so much in advance!

Using a Viper Mini for the last 3 years. I'm a laptop user, hence I need a wireless mouse.
My current thought on each.
Viper: USB C, Optical Switches (There should be no issues with double click, having abused 1st gen optical switches). There's no place to keep the USB reciever and I'm afraid I might end up losing it. I'm comfortable with the shape and texture of the Viper. Razer's QC is a bit shoddy, I had to get my Viper Mini replaced 2-3 times at the time of purchase, to get a unit which did not have issues. I don't know how the experience would've been if I faced issues (which I thankfully did not) if Amazon's replacement period expired. And lastly I HATE, and I can't emphasize enough on the word 'hate', Synapse.
GPX Superlight: It's a tried and tested workhorse. I find GHub to be much more bearable. The design seems more comfortable (my hand kind of cramps when using my cirrent Viper Mini for long sessions). The reason I haven't pulled the trigger on it is the concern over double clicking and scroll wheel issues (wheel issues is something that even Razer has so I'm screwed either way there). Also Elitehubs is bundling a pair of G333s along with it so I'll also end up with a decent pair of wired earphones as well.

Everything I do sooner or later starts to bore me to the extreme, I hate it.
An example from yesterday: I like playing computer games, I found a game that I really liked, played it for 2 hours, but had to stop. I couldn't wait for today to play again, but today I procrastinated before starting it, and when I finally did after 15 minutes, I had enough, I felt incredibly bored. I can't even remember the last time I finished a game. It's the same with TV series, I get really into one, and after a season or two, I abandon them not because I don't like them, but because I get bored with them.
I'm like that with everything: hobbies, interests, work. There are days when I feel hopeless because everything I start doing is incredibly boring to me. So much so that it exhausts me.
I've had many "passions" in my life that I engaged in, bought the necessary equipment for their realization, told everyone how much I love doing them, only to lose interest completely after a month. There are countless examples: airsoft, programming, 3D modeling, drawing, bushcraft, calisthenics, and many, many others. I'm constantly searching for something new, I've had enough of it.
That's about it, I just wanted to vent.

Hello! My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years and it’s been the worst 4 years of my life. I would literally need a series of everything he has done to me.
Anyways so I am finally DETACHED emotionally from him. Took me 4 years!!! Him leaving multiple times and me begging him to come back to try to work it out only for it to get worse.
He always tells me how much he hates me, how he wishes I would make it easy to leave him, etc; but finally I reached my last straw.
Some points to consider -he has bipolar disorder and is on mood stabilisers which honestly haven’t done anything -in the past 4 years we have been intimate maybe 10 times. He would blame me saying “because we argue”. We have gone 1.5 years and 1 year (two different times) without intimacy and I have never cheated (I don’t think he has either) but anytime I would try to initiate intimacy he would tell me “When I want to I’ll tell you”. Also his pp would flop in the middle of the action in the early days of our marriage so idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ -every month for the past 4 years he has told me he wanted to divorce -I was verbally and mentally abused by his parents -forgot to mention he is an only child -told me I’m a terrible wife because I don’t cook all the time and that was my role (when we first got married we had an agreement that I would cook and he would do dishes and it was great. Then a year later he stopped and I couldn’t keep up with it while also working)
Anyways I was verbally, mentally and physically abused.
I have no family or anywhere to go to and he knew that as both my parents have dementia and he took advantage that I had no one but him.
Recently I told him I think we should separate and he said ok
He took a while to file (probably playing with $$ and assets to move around)
This morning he must have found out I filed because he was absolutely LIVID I mean he is a scary person when he is mad
I asked what’s wrong and he was like I don’t want to talk to you.
I am serving him today and honestly terrified that I’ll be living under the same roof as him for a little bit till I find a place.
Thanks for being here 🙂

We've all heard about the Tupperware parties that many of our moms used to attend. Relatives in Amway were always trying to sell their latest supplements.
MLM's are especially notorious for targetting SAHMs who want to earn money and make friends all while taking care of their children. This is apparently a big enough issue in the west that women lose their friends and relationships over the MLM obsession.
I was wondering what the scene in India is like? Were/are you or any of your moms part of an MLM? How much did you/they make or lose?

This post aims to explore the hypothetical connection between Fearful-Avoidant attachment (FA) and the INFJ personality type. It is important to note that this connection is purely speculative and not supported by established correlations.
Furthermore, the FA attachment style is a terribly complex issue that should not be taken lightly. Initially when FA was identified, it was recommended that people with FA should not be in relationships at all. The harm they could cause to themselves and especially others was simply too much. It is only recently that there has been progress in ways in healing FA. As a consequence, it is now able to be fully healed through therapy.
The purpose of this post is to stimulate discussion and spread awareness of this problem. Oftentimes people who experience FA are aware of some of the effects it has, but not all. It is wise to know the full extent with which FA is affecting you so that you can move forward from a place of acceptance rather than confusion or worse, delusion.
If after reading this post you suspect that you might be someone with FA then it is very wise to seek professional help and other resources.
I will link a really in depth video in the comments below that obviously will be WAY more helpful in understanding every context, nuance and implication of the FA attachment style. I highly recommend watching it, because even though you think you already know what FA is, the style is so complicated that you will highly likely be surprised.
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Emotional:

• Emotional sensitivity: INFJs tend to be very empathetic and sensitive to emotional clues. You also have a heightened awareness of others' feelings. Sometimes you might even be deeply affected by the emotions of others. This is a beautiful thing, but can also cause issues. Your sensitivity and empathy makes it so that you can very easily understand others and as a consequence can feel involved. This can, in turn, make you highly attuned to potential rejection or abandonment. This fear of rejection or abandonment aligns with FA. Individuals with this attachment style may be extremely sensitive to signs of potential rejection or abandonment and may anticipate these outcomes even in relatively stable healthy relationships. Even when there is zero reason to suspect the other person would leave or reject them.
  
• Emotional volatility: INFJs are very emotional people. If they also have FA then they will very likely experience intense emotional highs and lows in relationships or a rollercoaster of emotions. On top of this your emotions will likely feel very inconsistent which makes decision making very difficult. Say you crave intimacy but fear commitment, you follow your heart but lack strategy so your rational and emotional side are in constant conflict. Lastly, you ricochet between you ricochet between over and under taking responsibility. FA people often believe that the extent to which they feel bad MUST reflect the situation they are in, but this is not true. However, because they do not realise, they can act it out on others by for example name calling, insulting, gaslighting, pathologizing and manipulation. Obviously, these are things you should definitely try to avoid and it makes sense knowing that FA used to be approached the way it was.
  
• Emotional depth: INFJs tend to experience emotions intensely and may have a rich inner world. They are often introspective people who often also take pride in their own self-awareness and understanding of their own emotions. In the context of FA, but I guess also with people in general, this can make someone appear delusional. Sometimes when people believe and want to believe in their own self-awareness so much, they reject the possibility that reality is different as a means to protect themselves. Furthermore, because INFJs feel so deeply and have no trouble analysing emotional contexts it can also make them feel a bit afraid of showing vulnerability. In people with FA this is a lot more extreme. They will probably have a love-hate relationship with intimacy and desire close connections but also become anxious if it gets too close. When they feel threatened or overwhelmed by this closeness or vulnerability they will likely distance themselves.
  
• Tendency to self-sabotage: A thing not necessarily common with INFJs but with FA is that of self-sabotage. In the case where someone who is FA fears intimacy or potential rejection so much, they may engage in self-sabotaging behaviours that create distance or lead to the end of (healthy) relationships. Eventually they will probably see that they are the common denominator but because they do not understand their own psychology they will blame themselves and thus will not feel deserving of a healthy relationship. This is an incredibly sad process. Especially also for someone who is genuinely good for them. Imagining the trajectory of the life of someone with FA, the struggles they will go through simply because they do not see is a terrible idea.
  

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Idealistic:

• Disappointment: INFJs tend to love thinking about the future and the ideal way to get to their envisioned future. As a consequence, they are the type of people to invest significant emotional energy into relationships. Obviously, when reality turns out different then you had hoped that will be a disappointment. Where someone with FA differs here is that they know this too, but instead of trying to make things work they hesitate to fully invest in relationships due to the potential negative outcomes. What if this or what if that. When idealistic expectations are not met it can further reinforce the belief that they need to take more care and invest less. That, paradoxically, amplifies their fears and avoidance behaviours.
• Disillusionment: As mentioned before INFJs love idealising and create idealized versions of relationships in their minds. They seek deep connections and intimacy where they can feel their idealism is being exercised. However, when faced with the realities of imperfections and conflicts, they can experience a sense of disillusionment. This, again, reinforces the fear and anxiety of individuals with FA.

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Conflict Avoidant:

• If you have spent any time with an INFJ you will know that they do not like conflict and probably will do their absolute best to resolve it when they can. Otherwise it will keep being a stressor. This is different from other personality types who after a certain point just stop caring about what an argument was even about. INFJs really seek harmony which means maintaining peace and avoiding confrontations. Interestingly, majority of INFJs seem to have had a childhood where a lot of conflict was present. I guess that creates further incentive for peace later on in life. Similarly, people with FA also fear conflict. The difference here is that for these people the dear controls a large part of their mind and actions. They fear that if they somehow cause any disturbance or conflict that the other person will reject them or that they will get a negative reaction. For someone with FA this feels super intense and incredibly bad.
  
• Emotional withdrawal: Consequently, they will do everything to avoid confrontations or conflict. Even if that means giving up parts of themselves, holding back, closing up, etcetera. It does not matter if the other person would accept them no matter what and says this too. For them it is a way to protect themselves when they feel overwhelmed or afraid. In essence we all do this but not to the extent of someone who is FA. They might close off entirely (0 emotion) to shield themselves from potential emotional pain or rejection even if there is absolutely no reason for that. The only way for someone with FA to realise this fully is through therapy.
  

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Strong Intuition:

• Deep Understanding of Others: Previously it was mentioned that INFJs possess a natural ability to perceive and understand the emotions and motivations of others. They are skilled at identifying hidden meanings and underlying patterns in human behaviour. They have a strong intuition. This is a great thing and can also be quite attractive (maybe I am biased). The difference here between an INFJ that has secure attachment and one that has FA is that the FA is not able to understand a lot of emotions and motivations of a secure person. They understand people who have unhealthy attachment styles, but not secure people. Take the idea of unconditional love for example. They understand what the concept is, I mean anyone can google a definition, but they do not know what it effectively looks like or is supposed to feel like.
  
• The problem: The issue with this is that people with FA think they do understand everyone. They pick up on subtle clues, sense potential threats and dangers, but fail to realise that some things are just false flags. Maybe they are quirks, maybe they misspoke, maybe they misjudged or maybe it just was not their day. However, when someone who is secure tries to argue that it was a false flag, it can very much be an indication for the FA person that they are trying to be manipulative. Essentially, people with FA are not always aware of ‘reality’. Obviously you can see how this is a shitty situation to be in.
  

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Self-sacrificing Nature:

• Struggles with Boundaries: Judging by the amount of posts asking how to establish healthy boundaries it is apparent how much of an issue this is for INFJs. They find it challenging to establish and maintain personal boundaries due to their empathetic nature and desire to help others. Find it difficult to say no and do you to get in situations that make you feel uncomfortable? This is why. They willingly put the needs of others over their own. This can obviously lead to exhaustion or feeling overwhelmed.
• What about FA: Similarly, individuals with FA can struggle with setting healthy boundaries, oscillating between a fear of closeness and a desire for connection. Furthermore, they have incredible difficulty expressing their needs and emotions. Some do not express it when asked even if it is their partner. The combination of these two issues makes it so that people with FA tend to neglect their own needs to prevent potential rejection, abandonment or being judged. In some cases the person with FA might even blame someone else for this, for them feeling this way. Obviously, this is incredibly unfair and destructive.

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Private/Reserved:

• Inner World: INFJs in general are very reserved. They keep to themselves including their inner thoughts and emotions. It is a very complex and profound inner world, which I am guessing (I am ENTP, I do not know everything) is the reason why they do not want to share it with everyone. It just probably feels a little too special. This makes sense. However, in people with FA there is more to it. These INFJs also have a rich inner world except the reason they do not share is a lot more complicated. They fear vulnerability, showing your inner world, showing you, that is a vulnerable thing to do. As a consequence, they have a tendency to keep emotional distance from others to protect themselves from potential pain or rejection. FAs can make you feel like you know a lot about them, but ultimately when they do not allow you to enter their world every now and then, then how well do you actually know them? Besides, they want other people to be vulnerable before the other person, that way the scales remain equal and the vulnerability scale does not go haywire. Again here, the only way as a FA person to healthily open up is with the help of therapy.
• Overthinking and Analysing: Besides a rich inner world INFJs also have a tendency to overanalyse situations and be in their heads for long periods of time. Specifically in terms of relationships and for a FA this can cause further issues. Relationships require trust and that is notoriously difficult for people with FA. If you combine that with a fear of uncertainty and anxiety it can cause the FA to overthink and overanalyse every single detail. This consumes their life. Asa result they stress themselves out so much that they might want to end things. Then when the feelings calm down again they might change their mind again. A cycle of push and pull and emotional highs and lows. For both sides of the relationship this is obviously terrible.

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Perfectionistic:

• Self-Criticism: INFJs are very perfectionistic people. They are very critical of themselves and so hold themselves and others to a very high standard. In itself this is not a bad thing. However, in the context of FA, , this perfectionism can amplify the fear of rejection, as they may feel inadequate or flawed and fear that others will discover these perceived imperfections. Again, here it sometimes does not matter whatever the partner says or does, it might very well be impossible to convince a FA otherwise. Then again, even if you tried they would likely find it too much. They believe they do not deserve all of the support and love at times. So it can be a really difficult time being in a relationship. Lastly, it can also go the other way. The person with FA might actually believe that because they feel so bad, repulsed, disgusted or other by the partner as a consequence of FA as well, the partner must be the reason for those feelings. However, that is often not the reality. What happens is that the FA got triggered somehow by something, often as a trauma response, and they project that onto the other person. Someone who is secure is able to recognise these things, someone with FA more often than not cannot, which is why these issues happen in the first place.

I was taking hydroxychloroquine for awhile and had to stop it due to side effects, one being very bad hair loss. I’ve always had super thick hair and when I started taking it when I’d shower clumps would come out of my head. Anyone else that had this happen do you have any tips on how to help it? Did it grow back? It makes me very sad and every time I run my hand through my hair I can’t believe how much of it is gone :(

Taylor Swift is in my hometown this weekend, and ticket prices are $1200 for nosebleed seats on the secondary market. Although I think that's crazy, it got me to thinking. How much would I be willing to pay to see Daft Punk live? My answer, whatever it takes. So I guess I can relate to the Swifties in a way. 😂

So, someone figured out how much each wizarding denomination is worth in American muggle money - 1 galleon is 17 sickles, 1 sickle is 29 knuts according to Hagrid, so a galleon is $25, a sickle is $1.50, and a knut is $0.05. Assuming this is correct, let's look at Fred and George's bet with Ludo Bagman, which Mr. Weasley says is all of their savings.
Fred and George bet Ludo Bagman 37 galleons, 15 sickles, 3 knuts, and a fake wand that Ireland would win, but Krum would get the snitch. Ludo thinks their fake wand is hilarious and considers it another 5 galleons in the bet, as that's what he says he would pay for it. So, that brings the total bet to 42 galleons, 15 sickles, 3 knuts, or $1072.65.
According to one Redditor, the odds of the losing team getting the snitch are about 2.8%, which is ridiculously low. Ludo himself says that it's not likely, but says he'll give the twins "very good odds on that." In betting terms, the more unlikely something is, the higher the payout will be to anyone who bets on it happening. So, let's look at the odds themselves - the odds are 1:1 of either team winning. But, for one team to win and the other to get the snitch, which is what usually wins the game? 2.8% chance, so odds on that would mean a high payout. Ludo is proven to be generous - after all, he'd pay $125 for a fake wand - but he's also seriously in debt to the goblins so he wants their money. "Very good odds" was probably extremely high. 100:1 wouldn't be out of the question - meaning that if they won the bet, he'd have to pay them 100 times what they bet in the first place.
So, assuming that they did get odds of 100:1, that would be 4,288 galleons, 14 sickles, 10 knuts, or $107,221.50. However, when Harry gave them his Twiwizard winnings, they were stunned and told him he was mental. He had to force them to take it at wandpoint. That was 1,000 galleons, or $25,000. But when they won against Bagman, Bagman just sighed and asks them how much he owes them, making it seem like it wasn't quite as big of a deal as losing more than four times Harry's winnings. But it was enough for the twins to think that it would get their joke shop started. So, odds of 15:1 seem a bit more likely or, since this is the magical world, it might have appealed to Ludo to do odds of 17:1. So, in that case, the twins would have won 729 galleons, 1 sickle, 22 knuts, or $18,227.60. A good bit less than Harry's winnings, but still quite a substantial amount and more than enough to get their joke shop going. Harry's winnings, however, allowed them to run a mail order service and buy premises - before, it was likely that they would only have been able to manage the mail order service. So, perhaps their odds were only 13:1. 557 galleons, 9 sickles, 10 knuts, or $13,939. Still a big loss for Ludo, but only a bit more than half of Harry's winnings.
So, what do you think? What odds do you think Ludo gave them? Remember, he was good friends with their dad, got them tickets in the top box at the World Cup, but was also completely broke and paid the twins in leprechaun gold.

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When I was about 8 years old, we had a gardener who came by regularly to look after our garden, as well as other people’s gardens in the neighborhood. He was a good man, nothing weird about him, but he had an apprentice, let’s call him “K”. He about 30 I guess, and was a bit “weird looking”, but nothing more.
One day I was playing with a friend of mine (around the same age), and we went outside the house (I think to get a ball that had fallen or something, I don’t really remember). That’s when we saw K across the street. I knew him, I told my friend he was our gardener, and he also went to other houses, so I didn’t see anything wrong with him being there. But then he started calling my name with an unusual voice (like when you talk to a little baby or a cute animal). After that he called us over with the same voice, saying “little kids come over here”.
We approached him, and he started talking to us. He said that he had some cute little puppies in his home (he lived nearby, about a block away), and asked if we wanted to come over and see them. We said we weren’t allowed, he insisted a bit but not very much. And it got even creepier. He asked us if we had penises. We said “yes”. Then he asked us if he could see them, but we said that our mothers don’t let us show them. “Have you seen mine?”, he asked, and proceeded to pull it out… we hadn’t seen an adult penis before, and this situation was really creepy, so we ran away.
I didn’t tell my parents anything, but luckily my friend did tell his mother, and she told mine. Of course my parents banned him from coming near us again, even though in the beginning he kind of tried to deny everything, and of course the gardener fired him. I think my parents went to the police, but I am not sure what happened, because I was little and didn’t know how these things work.
I didn’t know what a pedophile was back then, I don’t know anything like that existed, I didn’t even know how sex was done.
Two years ago, when I was 18 years old, I was walking down the street, and saw K in a yard, since he went to other houses. He also saw me, looked at me with a creepy but also stupid smile and tried to wave at me. I wasn’t a kid anymore so I shouted “mind your own business or I’ll beat the living crap out of you!”. He stopped (I am tall and strong whereas he is a small guy, so he was scared now).
I haven’t see him again, I hope he is in prison or dead.

I (40s M) have been dating my GF (40s F) for almost 2 years now. For context, she has 2 teenagers at home every other week, I have zero kids. When we met there was an instant connection and we just clicked on many levels. She was everything I wanted, she was always saying nice things like how she couldn't wait to spend the rest of our lives together, she was very affectionate, and even when she was busy she would make me feel wanted.
These days it's like the total opposite. Not much affection or sex, and never really says anything nice or mentions the future like she used to. We still exchange I love yous almost daily and when she doesn't have the kids we usually spend the nights together. But instead of cuddling on the couch, she just wants to play with her phone.
I've spent holidays and vacations with her and the kids, some sporting events, things like that. But usually when she has the kids I don't get invited over because she's too busy or just values her alone time with them. She doesn't even seem to really miss me when we don't see each other for a whole week. And that's fine, I'm in no rush to get married again, it's just weird that she was all about planning a future together but now there's zero indication of that.
So I get that the honeymoon phase never lasts forever, but this total 180 is really messing with me. I can't tell if I got "love bombed", she's just not that into me anymore, or she's finally showing me her true colors. Maybe I'm guilty of pulling back a bit too, but not nearly as much. It really just sucks because I know how great things could be, but now it's nothing like that.

3 years and counting in a dead bedroom. My partner (M49) doesn’t want sex. He doesn’t want to talk about sex. He finds my emotions and desires (F38) to be “exhausting.” So we are friendly roommates. He’s a great roommate. I try my best.
I let go of some of my desires. Find some solace in a vibrator. Worry that my orgasmic dreams that come in higher frequency will wake him up. I deal with the loneliness and rejection by developing a giant scab over my heart.
At this point, if he even suggested a quarterly or biannual copulation (not sure what his perfect sex frequency would be, as we haven’t reached that bottom since I stopped initiation), there’s no way I’d want to rip open the wound again. It’s much better to think of ourselves as roommates with no possibility of sex.
The problem is because we have a child, my partner will plant giant, wet, aunty kisses on me when the child is nearby. He also tries to hold my hand randomly, and I feel like it’s the final scene of Succession. Ok, I guess we have to do this, here’s my hand. Time to act happy and content with a hand hold session or I’m the B.
This makes me feel really messed up. Is it ok to not want any touch since it only disturbs the peace I’ve made with living as a celibate? Is a LL reading this and thinking see, this is the problem with HL? They should love random hand holding? I ask this honestly, not sarcastically.
Overall, I feel the loss of emotional intimacy the greatest. So it’s not really that I don’t want to hold his hand. It’s that his inability to see my pain, let me talk, and most importantly talk about his feelings with me, makes hand holding really irritating to how separate I feel. The giant kissy lips he makes to leave a wet spot on my face is just f gross.