Hello there! My name is Marcus, and I'm looking for something genuine, but flexible and casual to start. I have a job that requires me to travel often between Ohio, West Virginia, Kentucky, all over. Throughout college and after graduation, I put off trying to find someone but would like to change that now. Traveling a lot and getting ready to move for graduate school mean that I can’t plan where I’m going to live for the next few years—but I’m tired of using that as an excuse to ‘wait for the right moment.’ If you’re alright to start with something casual, I might be the nerd for you.
Here’s a bit about me.
·I'm a 6'4, 175 lb white guy. I'm probably as tall as I am because I stole all of my sister's height (she stopped at 5'8.)
I have a bachelor’s in anthropology and will be starting work on a master’s in the fall. My current job is a cultural resource technician—basically the person who makes sure power lines aren’t built on old ruins or sites. Sounds cool, but the reality is that we dig 100 little pits and find some funky looking rocks. I’ve seen the same cow field in five different states.
· I’ve lived in two countries overseas. McDonald’s tastes the same no matter where you go, although some have shrimp on the menu.
· When I’m home, I like to cook. I like baking a bit more than cooking, but both are a lot of fun. I cycle through Indian, Japanese, Chinese, and Mexican cookbooks. I’m also trying to learn how to make freshly ground coffee and escape the clutches of Mr. Coffee.
· I like anime and learning about Japanese culture. Yes, cue the obligatory faces. You simple adopted the trash—I was born in it, raised by it—it was all I had until I became a man. My favorite franchises include Fate/Stay Night, Madoka Magica, and the Monogatari series. I also enjoy making references to the few American movies I have seen, or the memes if I haven’t. Revenge of the Sith is a particular goldmine.
· I can’t whistle, and I was 14 when I first learned how to snap my fingers. Thanos would be disappointed.
· I like j-rock and pop more than I’d care to admit, and I’ve spent way too much time figuring out my team if I were a Pokemon league champion.
· I like learning about history—particularly Japan, Rome, Mesoamerica, and anywhere with a particularly interesting pantheon of polytheistic gods and a clash of ancient vs. modern culture.
· I’m a pessimistic optimist, with a bit of absurdism thrown in. The cup is half full, which is just enough to use for a shower.
Let me know a bit about yourself if you’d be interested. I’m looking for someone whose age is within a couple years of me, but otherwise open. Thank you for reading this far.

A new arrival, well that's rare... Human too but you lack the tell tale signs of a Herald.
You know the dead eyes, the lack of expression, and the writers bump. I would know the signs well, I was the twelfth.
Well whoever you are or well were, welcome to the oasis, life after death for us. The little patch of something in the barren wasteland between dimensions.
As with any place there are rules here and I'll be sure to explain them, doesn't suit me to deal with another husk.

1. Always be present for when the Siren sings. She'll sing of lives lost, of fortunes won, and of things forgotten. It'll keep you from forgetting and in this place memory is all that matters.

1a. That being said missing one or two songs won't ruin you, you'll lose things sure but you'll manage.
1b. If you're dim enough to not hear her song for a week, actually it's a bit hard to keep time here, count your heartbeats, should be about 604 thousand beats to a week if you maintain 60bpm. Got sidetracked there, back to the point, if you don't listen to her for a week you'll have forgotten everything. I'll explain why that's terrible later

1. A respectful demeanour when interacting with the siren is advised. She does not have to let you hear her song and does so out of kindness. Unless you fancy slowly turning into an empty shell only ever to see the light when you're used as a tool in a game I recommend your best behaviour.
   
2. The only time this place will see darkness is when the Siren sleeps. I recommend taking a seat and ignoring the laughter. Not everyone here is sane, the shells of who they once were will become active at this time.
   

3a. Another thing to consider, and do remember everything I say is optional if you don't value your mind, is not to speak while she sleeps. The reason for this is twofold, one you may wake her and that would be rude. Two, the husks will be drawn towards the sound of your voice.
The twisted things they do would drive the sanest man mad, witnessing it has taken enough of a toll on my mind. If you must know what it is they do, imagine having your flesh torn in such a way a maddened smile is etched into your face, having your eyelids ripped away so you may never rest, and your bones snapped.

1. When the Siren wakes she'll stretch and let out a yawn, cover your ears or the sound will pop your eardrums. I imagine it's hard to hear a song when you can not hear.
   
2. The final rule and this is important is never speak ill of Death. She is their sister and despite her kindness she will not hesitate to torment you. The songs she'll sing will become sinister, twisted, and dark. They'll remind you of things sure, but you'll only relive your worst moments.
   

That's pretty much it, all things considered it's not so bad here. I mean you'll meet every Herald that ever was and ever will be, and any god that manages to die.
You'll just have to answer some questions for yourself, things that will play on your mind.
Do I count as human? Is this purgatory? Was I as bad as they say? Do I deserve this?
They'll come, you wouldn't be here if they wouldn't. I figured out my answers long ago and I know what this place is now, would you like to know?
My answers are simple. I can not be counted as human after the things I did In a way yes I was so much worse than they say And I deserve worse
You see this place serves as the dead lands do. We serve as tools in future games while this place serves to break us down, our only salvation in the songs sung. The main difference is this place requires a certain monstrous nature to get into, a disregard for the life of others, be that entity or human.
Seems the light is dimming, remember not to speak

Microdosing substance: 1P-LSD
Protocol: Fadiman, 1 day on 2 days off
Active administration: 3 weeks
Period of break after administration: 2 weeks
Other substances i take:

• Ashwagandha only during the break weeks (daily 300mg) + sometimes at need
• Magnesium daily
• CBD at need in the form of vaped dried plant (almost stopped this)
• Caffeine + l-theanine in the form of greentea once daily

I don't drink alchol and i only smoke weed every couple of months.
Currently on therapy: psychoanalitic psychotherapy.
Microdosing complete time since the beginning of the first cycle: 57weeks, or 399 days.

Finding a baseline

That's what i've started microdosing and therapy to, to find my baseline.
Before i started i used to be very moody, i had these huge spikes up and down, i could be depressed and suicidal for months, i can say i was on the verge of taking my life and if it wasn't for my therapist and microdosing i would have probably done it.
My first cycles were needed to titrate the dose i needed and to find a schedule of administration/pauses that worked for me. I surely have experienced some issues along the way as it comes with self-medication, but by studying and writing regular reports i have been able to find something that not only worked by helping me to come out of my crippling depression, suicidal ideations and anxiety, but that is actually helping me, right now, to grow as a person and to show my best part.
Finding a baseline means finding a balance between many parts of yourself that want different things, being able to manage conflict with yourself on a regular basis and in the mean time being also able to give a direction to where you are going.
I find myself able to study regularly again after so many years, i started a university course (MOOC) on webdevelopment and i would have never thought i could have actually been able to develop abilities in problem solving, something that programming requires a lot, so well. I find myself interested again in knowing new people and to hang out with them regularly, beating my social anxiety.
Of course i experience grief, tiredness, anxiety and bad feeling sometime but i'm much much much more able to handle them, to the point they became just regular stuff to deal with, and not those high mountains that looked so unsurmountable.

Some side effects along the way

Around the end of this cycle i experienced some mild, sporadic side effects, some of them already experienced in the past: irritability / rage bursts easily triggered, memory impairment and one time even "feeling trippy" once i increased the dosage a bit (6.25ug instead of 6ug). Note that my usual dosage is 6ug, which is considered to be at the lower end of the microdosing range, denoting the fact that i'm very sensible to substances (or at least to this substance), also the measured dosage can always not be the actual dosage, due to LSD tab potency variability.
Rage and irritability are both body load/body rush sympthoms and excessive glutamate sympthoms, side effects that can happen during microdosing.
That can sometimes be handled by taking a extra dose of Ashwaghandha 300-600mg (which i usually take only on stop weeks due to being more prone to anxiety without microdosing) or by vaping CBD or taking CBD oil.
This side effects are some of the reasons i'm doing shorter cycles, and that could very much happen because i never took a break longer than 2 weeks in the whole 400 days i've been experimenting with microdosing. In fact those happened much more during my 12 weeks of administration in my third cycle, suggesting that, of course, longer uninterrupted administration can lead to more evident sympthoms.

Learning how to think again

This an unexpected beautiful pro that is not strictly related to microdosing, but more to the topic of healing in general, and i think it can be seen only by who had made a similar path and had a long term experience of change in better, coming from depression or other mental issues that impaired the capability of thinking well.
By allowing myself to live real experiences i started to develop some moral values again, some opinions that are mine and can be compared to other people's opinions to find a dialogue. And a dialogue is much needed to keep evolving and matching those ideas.
By starting to feel stably well i am again able to give myself the space i need to question stuff happening around me. As an example, before i was so paralized by the fear of war, pandemic etc that i couldn't even read or watch the news, now not only i can explore a bit more such topics, but i also feel the need to do it!
AKA i feel like my opinion is real and actually matters in this world, and so do my actions, i started to feel i have a brain again, capable of analyzing and building concepts and projects, even complex ones.

Feeling less the need to microdose

The more i go on with my cycle, the less i feel the need to microdose.
I started with 6-7 or even 12 weeks of active administration when i first begun microdosing because i felt i couldn't be myself without it and i had fear of the pause weeks cause they usually meant i would have be brought back down to my pit and my usual, old self.
Now break weeks are just almost as enjoyable as microdosing days, yeah maybe i can be a bit more prone to unhealthy patterns or feel a mild discomfort, but nothing compared to before i started or to the first pause weeks.
That's another reason on why i'm making my cycles shorter, by administering 3 weeks only and then pausing 2 weeks i feel as good as i felt when administrating for 6-7 weeks.
I started to feel better and microdosing less, isn't this the purpose of taking a substance in order to heal?

So my husband is 32 & according to him the last time he wet the bed was when he was a 10/11 years old. Last night he wet the bed & about 6 months ago he did the same. Before bed last night we drunk some tea to help aid in sleep. He woke me up & said “babe, I wet the bed. I was having a dream that I was standing in front of a urinal & started peeing only to wake up & see that I did”. I get that accidents happen & he cleaned up everything & has been super apologetic & I’m not mad but more so concerned only because we’ve been together for 6 years & this has never been a problem but this is now the 2nd time in 6-7 months.
I don’t think it’s a health problem as we’ve adopted a healthier lifestyle & it’s been super beneficial to both of us! Just not sure how to approach it without sounding like a B word.
Any advice?

Message me if interested, selling at face value.

The example of those who spend their wealth in the cause of Allah is that of a grain that sprouts into seven ears, each bearing one hundred grains. And Allah multiplies The reward even more’ to whoever He wills. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing. 2:261

This verse praises the act of sincere charity with the metaphor of a corn crop which multiplies by ears and grains of corn. There are multiple interpretations for this metaphor. Some say it refers to the multiplicity/infinity of the heavenly rewards and the power that charity has or that of a simple charity act being multiplied in good deeds and significance. Another view is that it describes the ripple effect and power that a small act of charity can have that multiplies and benefits much more people that can be intended. An example of donating a water well which could benefit tons of people for years yet seems such a small act. And some see this verse as karmic to say that charity multiples and will benefit the giver materially as well. There are some nde stories in which a person is shown a small charitable act (watering a plant or feeding a bird) which we would consider insignificant yet this act is praised and loved by all beings in the realms for the love that goes into it.

And by the soul and ˹the One˺ Who fashioned it, then with ˹the knowledge of˺ right and wrong inspired it! Successful indeed is the one who purifies their soul 91:7-9

This verse speaks to the concept of objective morality and human intuition towards right and wrong. The successful are those who hone their intuition towards the good. To purify the soul is to develop virtue and cleanse the ego. To control the lower self of its demons like extravagance, greed, arrogance etc . These are very difficult and take years to control. I am also reminded about the levels of being in sufism and opening of chakras.

Worship God; join nothing with Him. Be good to your parents, to relatives, to orphans, to the needy, to neighbours near and far, to travellers in need, and to your slaves. God does not like arrogant, boastful people 4:36

This verse I like as it envisions warmth, hospitality and altruism to all beings, whether you know them or not. It envisions the famous African philosophy of Ubuntu which says "I am as you are" In its ideal form you would offer strangers and travellers food and stay, you would help others if you had the means as if they are your own family, going out of your way for them. To do this you need to humble and quiet the ego as the more arrogant are more likely to disregard kindness to strangers.

I did not create jinn and humans except to worship me. I seek no provision from them, nor do I need them to feed Me. 51:56-57

This verse is often criticized as being egotistic but the next verse to it forces us to think deeper about what this service to God really is. If God has no need for human worship. In fact verse 56 and 57 seem to oppose each other as a paradox. Some attempt to solve this by appealing to the concept of ibadah (service/worship) as being a multi level concept where worship is not merely a state of singing hymms and prayers all day long but as seeing all types of good deeds and deeds that fit into the attributes of God. For example the good, the true and the beautiful. For example charity, prayer, seeking wisdom, knowledge, creating art, providing for others etc are all thus acts manifesting the attributes of God.

That is why We ordained for the Children of Israel that whoever takes a life—unless as a punishment for murder or mischief in the land—it will be as if they killed all of humanity; and whoever saves a life, it will be as if they saved all of humanity 5:32

The sacredness of human life and intrinsic value is highlighted here as the verse shows the greatness of saving a life of somebody as well as the consequences of taking someones life without a just cause. To save a life through whatever means such as taking a bullet, defending people, donating an organ etc are all very noble acts reminiscent of a martyr and are in some metaphysical sense the worth of saving the world.

The Day when neither wealth nor children will be of any benefit. except to him who will come to God with a sound heart. 26:89

A sound heart is the sincere heart free of hypocrisy. Something we all fall prey to.

This worldly life is no more than play and amusement. But the Hereafter is indeed the real life, if only they knew. 29:64

From the higher world perspective this world is seen as simply a simulation, a dream or game which people take so seriously as if it is the only world there is. From the human POV this world is all we ever know and is thus the most important & real thing to pay attention to. The material achievements of this world are seen as most important. However this verse reverses the human view in stating that the hereafter is the real life worth much more which we cannot conceive of. Imagine if we had access to this hereafter life and witnessed for ourselves the joy this life has to offer. How would this impact the way we see this life. This is food for thought.

Know that this worldly life is no more than play, amusement, luxury, mutual boasting, and competition in wealth and children. This is like rain that causes plants to grow, to the delight of the planters. But later the plants dry up and you see them wither, then they are reduced to chaff. And in the Hereafter there will be either severe punishment or forgiveness and pleasure of Allah, whereas the life of this world is no more than the delusion of enjoyment. 57:20

This verse sums up the nature of the world as capitalistic societies that endlessly run like a perpetual motor through time. We often live pretence filled lives in endlessly competing with each other in money, prestige and importance. At the social level between families and individuals and at the macro level of politics and organisations. This ego pumping competition is good for a while but it cannot give us peace. There is something very illusory and pretentious about this false world of materialism that takes a spiritual awakening to perceive. The verse conveys a Buddhist vibe of the material desires as illusory.

And give them a parable of this worldly life. ˹It is˺ like the plants of the earth, thriving when sustained by the rain We send down from the sky. Then they ˹soon˺ turn into chaff scattered by the wind. And Allah is fully capable of ˹doing˺ all things. 18:45

This parable speaks alot to the nature of earthly happiness. It speaks of the diminishing law of returns whereby most things that we consider good eventually loses its appeal. Anticipation of the thing is always greater than the gaining of a thing. There are many examples in psychological studies that show pain in life overwhelm lifes pleasures for example, losses in life hurt more than gains feel good, losing a friend hurts more than gaining a new friend. Bad life events impact us emotionally more than good life events do. We judge people more on their bad than their good. Many more examples.

He will ask 'them', “How many years did you remain on earth?” They will reply, “We remained 'only' a day or part of a day. But ask those who kept count.” . He will say, “You only remained for a little while, if only you knew. Did you then think that We had created you without purpose, and that you would never be returned to Us?” 23:112-115

The nature of this world as waking up from a dream is fascinating to behold. From our perspective this world has so much power on us and we perceive time so strongly. To perceive a whole lifetime as simply a day blip is incredible to behold. Time is a force which has so much power on us. We are always stuck in the present moment unable to access the past and our perception of time can be warped by many factors. This passage makes the world and this life seem so irrelevant

Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. His lights is like a niche in which there is a lamp, the lamp is in a crystal, the crystal is like a shining star, lit from 'the oil of’ a blessed olive tree, 'located' neither to the east nor the westj7^] whose oil would almost glow, even without being touched by fire. Light upon light! Allah guides whoever He wills to His light. And Allah sets forth parables for humanity. For Allah has 'perfect’ knowledge of all things. 24:35

Another very mystical verse with multiple interpretations each one as interesting as the next. Light is a attribute of God, literally and metaphorically. It represents the idea of enlightenment and inner aliveness. One view sees the parable of light as a spiritual light within a persons heart. God as light is the source of truth and and the locus which brings out the good. Each object here represents layers of light. Light in all aspects of the soul conveys the ideal of perfection. The light of morality, intellect, heart, vision, knowledge, wisdom etc.

So when I have fashioned him and had a spirit of My Own 'creation I breathed into him, fall down in prostration to him.” 15:29

This verse reminds me of the eastern concept of cosmic consciousness and humans as being a drop returning to the ocean. In some sense a divine aspect has been given from god to humanity. Some translators try to avoid translating it as breathed into adam of MY spirit to avoid similarities to pantheism and panentheism.

They ask you 'O Prophet’ about the spirit. Say, “Its nature is known only to my Lord, and you 'O humanity’ have been given but little knowledge.” 17:85

Consiousness remains an elusive mystery, one which baffles all people.

Remember' when your Lord said to the angels, “I am going to place a successive 'human' authority on earth.” They asked 'Allah', “Will You place in it someone who will spread corruption there and shed blood while we glorify Your praises and proclaim Your holiness?” Allah responded, “I know what you do not know.” He taught Adam the names of all things, then He presented them to the angels and said, “Tell Me the names of these, if what you say is true? 2:30

This verse is famous for implying adam as being some successor to previous beings on the earth and is famous for demonstrating the Angel's shock at the evil in the world something we humans can relate to greatly. It also speaks to the origin of language. If such high pure beings such as angels can become appalled at the evil of the world, how much more appalled and troubled are we mere mortals.

Indeed, We offered the trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, but they 'all' declined to bear it, being fearful of it. But humanity assumed it, 'for' they are truly wrongful 'to themselves' and ignorant 'of the consequences' 33:72 & 41:12

This verse is unique when comparing to the Bible & rings similar to a concept found in some ndes of people choosing to incarnate on earth for some spiritual growth or to gain the reward. It also gives an impression of the cosmos being sentient something also found in the Psalms & in NDE anecdotes. In some anecdotes people report feeling the happiness of the plants and sensing the environment as being alive.

Never take those killed in the way of Allah as dead. Rather, they are alive with their Lord, well-provided rejoicing in Allah’s bounties and being delighted for those yet to join them. There will be no fear for them, nor will they grieve. 3:169-170

This verse is interesting and speaks to some conscious state after death whereby these martyrs are happy and thriving. It is often asked what happens after death to people. Are they simply asleep waiting to resurrect or are they conscious in some other realm. This verse would also correspond to NDEs in which dead people are conscious in some realm where space-time works differently.

God takes the souls of the dead and the souls of the living while they sleep- He keeps hold of those whose death He has ordained and sends the others back until their appointed time- there truly are signs in this for those who reflect. 39:42

This suggests some soul journey, in other words at sleep the consciousness of a person travels to some other realm. Its interesting that some believe that certain dreams are unconsious astral travelling to other realms & lucid dreaming is part of the astral realm. Dreams & the subconscious still remain a mystery.

Exalted in Rank, Lord of the Throne: He causes the spirit to descend on whomsoever of His servants He pleases so as to warn them of the Day of Encounter 40:15

I am often reminded by this verse of Christians who say they are filled with the holy spirit. It signifies some sort of spiritual awakening. In this verse a similar idea exists. Some interpret this spirit to be the holy spirit ie Gabriel but others see it as the spirit of inspiration or revelation.

Whoever does good, it is to their own benefit. And whoever does evil, it is to their own loss. Then to your Lord you will 'all' be returned. 45:15

These are very karmic thinking with all good leading to good karma and bad leading to bad karma. In some nde stories people have life reviews in which they can feel the good done to others and the bad done to others as if it's their own.

The seven heavens, the earth, and all those in them glorify Him. There is not a single thing that does not glorify His praises—but you ˹simply˺ cannot comprehend their glorification. He is indeed Most Forbearing, All-Forgiving. 17:44

This speaks to some sort of metaphysical glorification whereby everything of nature and the cosmos is a manifestation of divine spirit. The animals, the oceans, land and celestial bodies all are in their natural path each with their own system resonating a mystical awe of the creator.

Had We sent down this Quran upon a mountain, you would have certainly seen it humbled and torn apart in awe of Allah. We set forth such comparisons for people, ˹so˺ perhaps they may reflect 59:21

This metaphor is an intriguing way of describing the majestic nature of what would be called the speech of the creator. It conveys the awesomeness of the divine speech.

Say, 'O Prophet,’ “If the ocean were ink for 'writing’ the Words of my Lord, it would certainly run out before the Words of my Lord were finished, even if We refilled it with its equal.” 18:109

This metaphor uses the imagery of oceans to illustrate the omniscience and omnipotence of God. If we were to take this verse literally it would of course imply that the creators power is limited to an ocean or two. The ocean is thus used as an image to show that the knowledge of God cannot be contained in a finite book. Some food for thought are the concepts of omni knowledge & power. Its is inconceivable for finite beings like ourselves to fathom what it could mean to be an omnibeing. Would the creator have knowledge of a finite or infinite amount of things. Would he be able to create an infinite amount of different colors, foods or sounds. These are mysteries of the infinite which we cannot comprehend.

This is truly a glorious Quran. ˹recorded˺ in a Preserved Tablet. 85:21-22
No! Indeed, the record of the righteous is in ʿilliyyūn. And what can make you know what is ʿilliyyūn? A written record, witnessed by those nearest ˹to Allah˺. 83:18-21
Each person has guardian angels before him and behind, watching over him by God’s command 13:11

Who these beings are, where are they with you and what purpose do they serve are indeed good questions. Do they literally guard or is this a metaphor for guidance

Indeed, Allah is the Knower of the unseen of the heavens and the earth. He surely knows best what is ˹hidden˺ in the heart. 35 38

To best know what is in the heart is to have the capacity to experience the consciousness of another in perfect empathy. This concept of omni subjectivity is considered a necessity of omniscience. To be able to not only know the suffering a person goes through but to actually be able to experience it as they do. To be able to feel the grief of losing someone, of being depressed, of cramps, of every teardrop.

But the Lord of Mercy will give love to those who believe and do righteous deeds 19:96

Love is a complex idea that occurs in multiple forms. The love of unity, of attachment, of compassion, passion, friendship, romantic etc. Divine love could be considered the combination of all these forms. Some beautiful descriptions exist in nde anecdotes. One person reports a feeling of waves and waves of cleansing white love soaking them as if they were under a waterfall. Another describes feeling as if they were the last and most important baby to exist. Another describes the feeling of being touched by something amazing, a piece of music for example and the feeling being multiplied millions of times.

And He is the Most-Forgiving, the Most-Loving, 85:14
But My mercy encompasses all things 7:156
Indeed, We granted David a ˹great˺ privilege from Us, ˹commanding:˺ “O mountains! Echo his hymns! And the birds as well.” We made iron mouldable for him. 34:10

Music & poetry is the one thing on earth that has the ability to convey subtle & complex emotions that language has no words for. It can inspire & invigorate. The sound of birds singing remind us of a peaceful melodious state in nature. Certain music pieces can bring about feelings of spiritual awe, feeding the soul taking you beyond the mundane into a mystical state. A good melody can illuminate and a good harmony of melodies transports you to other realms. Likewise the melodic singing of the creators word can inspire feelings of awe.

No soul can imagine what joys are kept in store for them as a reward for what they used to do

32:17 - This verse speaks to the heavenly realms having happiness that is unable to be put in words and unable to be conceived by people in their normal waking life. It may refer to pleasures that are beyond what the physical world can offer or to the intensity of joy which cannot be imagined and quantified. It's also interesting to note that in some ndes people report hearing music that no earthly music could compare to and to seeing colors that dont exist in this world at all. What other surprises could exist in such a realm is a mystery to be very curious of.

We are your supporters in this worldly life and in the Hereafter. There you will have whatever your souls desire, and there you will have whatever you ask for. An accommodation from the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful 'Lord’.” 41:31

This one in particular is interesting as it seems repetitive but it is mentioning two different things ie having all the desires you ask for but also all the subconscious hidden desires of the soul that remain buried deep within us we dont even know it. There are different types of desires. There are desires by word (can be put into words), desire by mind (can imagine but hard to put into words), desire by heart (have an intuition but is hard to put in words and to imagine) and desire by unseen (those only an omniscient being could know of). Cognitive science talks of the self, the ego and persona which are separated by filters which filter out subconscious feelings.

The description of the Paradise promised to the righteous is that in it are rivers of fresh water, rivers of milk that never changes in taste, rivers of wine delicious to drink, and rivers of pure honey. There they will ˹also˺ have all kinds of fruit, and forgiveness from their Lord. 47:15

This is often seen as a reason to consider the hell and heaven descriptions as mainly metaphors over being literal. One sufi view sees these four drinks as symbols for differing things. The water signifies divine clarity and purity which refreshes & cleanses the soul with vitality, the milk signifies the strength, knowledge ,enlightenment and growth that nourishes the soul. The wine signifies divine bliss and a state of ecstasy. The honey signifies the sweetness of divine love which is the golden essence of mystical union. The fruits signify all the attributes of God.

Enter it in peace. This is the Day of eternal life!” There they will have whatever they desire, and with Us is ˹even˺ more. 50:34-35

This verse represents the hidden desires of the unseen which the limited brain of the material world cannot comprehend. Some interpret this as the beatific vision and others as things that no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no heart has imagined.

And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a paradise as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous 3:133

This verse conveys the grandeur and sheer size of the paradisal realms. Of course space and time could work completely differently in another realm and the concept of more space would be a meaningless concept. The verse should rather be taken as a metaphor to mean that an abundance of space is always available as needed.

And whoever will come to Him as believer, having done righteous deeds, for such people there are the highest ranks. The Gardens of Eternity, under which rivers flow, where they will stay forever. That is the reward of those who purify themselves. 20:75-76

Water is the source of life, soothing and purification. It signifies the feeling of peace through the sound, texture and coolness of water. Forests, waterfalls, gardens and fountains are universal symbols of peace & symbolize the primordial connection to nature a time when man is able to feel awe much more than a mechanised industrialised world. In Celtic culture and inspired stories such as the Lord of the Rings we see places like Rivendell a lofty dwelling upon a mountain with waterfalls and streams and the Shire a place of gardens & lush vegetation, places people would love to see one day.

And if you looked around, you would see ˹indescribable˺ bliss and a magnificent kingdom 76:20

One view is that this bliss is comparable to a heavenly ambience, one which is of an intoxicating nature in which a persons consiousness vibrates at a higher level of being becoming one with the place. Certain drugs aim to to mimic this intoxicating, peaceful and loving ambience such as cannabis and ecstacy. In some ndes people will report feeling the vibration of the place, the plants, the water. They feel it as if they are one with the textures and it is in them. Another view is that the kingdom of heaven is a vast realm aesthetically pleasing in which one sees all types of blissful things. Poetic verses such as these propel the mind to envision otherworldly realms.

The world is a prison for the believer and a paradise for the unbeliever.” Sahih Muslim 2956

This is an interesting parable with the world being compared to a prison. A prison stifles you, limits you and does not make you feel at home. Some struggle to see the world as a prison but the awakened one sees the world for what it is. They see how limited we are by time, how we cannot access the past, change it or go back to a good time. We are boxed into this world and dealt the cards we got. The world stifles you in being unable to reach your full potential or acheive self actualization. It restricts your passions and achievements and leaves you questioning the meaning behind this life. The awakened one sees how limited happiness is for we can never grasp it. They see that surely there must be more to the world than this mundane life.

And indeed, We adorned the lowest heaven with ˹stars like˺ lamps, and made them ˹as missiles˺ for stoning ˹eavesdropping˺ devils, for whom We have also prepared the torment of the Blaze. 67:5

The idea of the seven heavens is an interesting one with many trying to decipher it. Some have said it refers to atmosphere layers due to 71:15 and 67:3 saying layers whilst some associate it with 7 celestial objects of the moon, sun and solar system planets. One specific person says the lowest heaven is the solar system and the 7th heaven being the multiverse. The lowest heaven has stars or planets which some say is the cosmos as we know it full of stars and planets. Lowest Heaven (Samaa Ad Dunya) may also refer to the worldly life (physical material realm). Some also say the seven heavens are a metaphor for multiple heavens. What these 2nd, 3rd, 7th etc heavens are remain a mystery. There are much similarities with Sumerian & Babylonian cosmology.

Indeed, We have adorned the lowest heaven with the stars for decoration and made them a safeguard against every rebellious devil, they cannot eavesdrop on the Higher Assembly––pelted from every side. Repelled; and for them is a constant punishment. But whoever manages to stealthily eavesdrop is ˹instantly˺ pursued by a piercing flare. 37:6-10

This connects to 67:5 and 41:12. It deals with the concept of the lowest heaven and further it mentions some sort of higher realm or meeting. Where exactly this higher assembly is remains ambiguous. It does hint that beyond the first heaven into the 2nd heaven which may imply the heavens are mystical realms rather than cosmological. This passage has always been controversial with some calling it unscientific whilst others say its supernatural not scientific. Some interpret this pelting of devils as solar flares from stars, rather than shooting stars.

You were heedless of this. Now We have removed your veil from you; so your sight today is sharp. 50:22

This often reminds me of the filter theory of consciousness. The idea that our brain filters out anything supernatural or mystical and focuses on the material. It seems to say that humanity cannot perceive much of the unseen but on that day all filters will be removed and people perceive with absolute clarity the divine realms as real. Reduced brain activity in NDEs and psychedelic experiences is also associated with higher states of conscious awareness.

Taught to him by one intense in strength. One of great perfection. And he rose to his true form, while on the highest point above the horizon. Then he approached and descended. And was at a distance of two bow lengths or nearer. Then Allah revealed to His servant what He revealed ˹through Gabriel˺.The ˹Prophet’s˺ heart did not doubt what he saw. So will you dispute with him over what he saw? And he certainly saw him in another descent. At the Lote Tree of the Utmost Boundary Near it is the Garden of Refuge while the Lote Tree was overwhelmed with ˹heavenly˺ splendours. The ˹Prophet’s˺ sight never wandered, nor did it overreach. And he saw some of the greatest signs of his Lord. 53:5-18 He is the One Who created the heavens and the earth in six days and His Throne was upon the waters—in order to test which of you is best in deeds. 11:7

The throne is said to be beyond the seven heavens encompassing it in scale. In one hadith tradition it compares each heaven to being a ring in a desert. Beyond the seven heavens lies the lore tree boundary and beyond this is said to be one of the paradise realms. The paradise realm/s is itself considered to be as big or bigger than the heavens and the throne is said to be beyond these paradise realms. The throne is said to be upon the waters. This concept exists in Psalm 148 which speaks of some sort of waters above the heavens. In Sumerian cosmology there is also a similair concept of a primordial cosmic ocean that lies beyond the heavens.

It is not granted to any mortal that God should speak to him except through revelation or from behind a veil, or by sending a messenger to reveal by His command what He will: He is exalted and wise. 42:51

This verse ends with calling God wise. Perhaps this verse conveys the grandeur of the essence which the limited human brain cannot perceive or it portrays the destruction that the essence can create burning everything into oblivion.

To Allah belong the east and the west; wherever you turn, there is the Face of Allah. For Allah is All-Encompassing, All-Knowing. 2:115

Direction and location is irrelevant to the divine as this divine being transcends space and time. Wherever one is, the divine is there and one can communicate with God as if he is face to face with you. The face is the thing with which we identify a person and turn our attention to. Wherever we turn the we can turn to God for the divine knows all that can be known and encompasses all in his presence and knowledge. In another interpretation everything natural is like a manifestation of the divine which the divine encompasses as part of his being. Its common for people to feel spiritual awe and a desire to communicate with the divine when one gazes upon the oceans, mountains, volcanos, valleys & galaxies. All of these convey grandeur.

Vision perceives Him not, but He perceives all vision; and He is the Subtle, the Acquainted. 6:103

The divine cannot be reduced to light and sound waves for vision cannot perceive such grandeur of the divine. Abrahamic Theology has always spoken of the divine attributes and of the divine essence. To be subtle is to be nuanced, to see details that others dont see. It is to also be interacting in the world in ways we dont perceive. It is to be manifest in the world that cannot be seen.

When Moses came at the appointed time and his Lord spoke to him, he asked, “My Lord! Reveal Yourself to me so I may see You.” Allah answered, “You cannot see Me! But look at the mountain. If it remains firm in its place, only then will you see Me.” When his Lord appeared to the mountain, He levelled it to dust and Moses collapsed unconscious. When he recovered, he cried, “Glory be to You! I turn to You in repentance and I am the first of the believers.” 7:143, 2:253

These verses are fascinating to the sufi and mystic minded who are curious as to the actual essence of God and what it actually would be like to speak with God directly or witness the beatific vision. The verse highlights Moses burning desire to witness the creator in all their majesty. The mystery of the essence remains. It has been a topic discussed by great thinkers such as Al Ghazali, Ibn Sina & Thomas Aquinas. Its interesting in Exodus that Moses is shown the back of God but cannot bear to see the face of God.

He is the Lord of the heavens and the earth and everything in between, the Almighty, Most Forgiving. 38:66

A phrase which makes the curious person contemplate on the mysteries of existence. Are these other realms, dimensions, universes, realities, worlds. Are these spatial, temporal. Are they connected to the heavens.

He is the First and the Last, and the Manifest and the Hidden, and He is All-Knowing about every thing. 57:3

God is the first cause of reality, the source of all being and existence, the source from where all attributes comes from ie goodness, beauty, truth etc. He is the eternal mind not being caused or created in time nor does he end. The manifest and hidden or outward and inward represent a paradox. Perhaps God is manifest by the attributes that manifest through the world such as in nature, music and art. Perhaps this may explain the transcendental mystic feelings people may feel through certain music, art, psychedelics, meditation and other spiritual experiences. But on the other hand God is the subtle, hidden, one whose essence is unknown.

I will approach them from their front, their back, their right, their left, and then You will find most of them ungrateful.” 7:17

A good film that acts as a commentary to this verse is the film A devils advocate. This verse essentially speaks to the nature of cunning that this being uses to tempt men to corrupt their souls. This being can use multiple paths and strategies. From inciting the human ego, to using religious fanaticism, making injustice seem normal, using extremism & every other negative ism that can be used to manipulate humanity.

God said, ‘Iblis, what prevents you from bowing down to the man I have made with My own hands? Are you too high and mighty?’ 38:75

This verse has commonly been used by creationists to suggest that Adam was the first human created by God personally. You can imagine a humanoid figure being molded and formed. Interestingly another part of the quran says that God has created cattle with his own hands which goes against this creationist version. Non literalists and mystics often see human anthromorphisms to be metaphors used by God. The eye of god suggests God watching over and guarding. The face of god suggests the locus to which we identify God. The hands of God can refer to power, protection, guidance & specific interventions that other creations have not been given.

Also mention in the Book the case of Idris: He was a man of truth and sincerity, a prophet: And We raised him to an exalted place. 19:56-57

Idris here is associated with Enoch & Hermes Trismegistus. He represents the mystic seeker, the learned , wise and knowledgable. He is often associated with the study of philosophy, astronomy & mysticism. Enoch is said to have travelled through the 10 heavens.

What will explain to you what the Crusher is?It is God’s Fire, made to blaze, which rises over people’s hearts. It closes in on them in towering columns. 104:5-9

This passage fits the interpretation of hell as a purification process that may be painful, such as the use of mouthwash or antiseptic which burns a cleansed wound. The towering columns convey the idea of some sort of penance chamber.

From the evil of the retreating whisperer, who whispers into the hearts of mankind 114:4-5

A good example in pop culture is the one ring from the lord of the rings. It whispers and entices the inner temptations of the heart to corrupt them. The gollum represents a creature that has become overwhelmed by the rings influence such that he becomes subhuman looking. Another example is the black suit spiderman. The black suit influences and draws out the inner dark side of Spiderman making him arrogant, aggressive & violent. As a wise person once said we never lose our demons. We only learn to live above them.

well im gonna be honest,
I have problems with hygiene over 15 years and im 31. I did not regulary brushed my teeth so i had a lot of problems that needed to be fixed by a dentist.
I dont shower, maybe 1 in a few weeks. I work from Home, escpecially since covid and i work in IT.
I never meet people outside, i never invite someone to my home. I dont meet anyone, everyone i meet is through the internet.
My Hygiene was so bad, last time i did not work from home my coworkers went to my boss cause i did not realize that not washing my clothes would smell that bad.
I fixed that back then but ofc that left a mark on me and i feel very ashamed but i cant change much because of my depression.
The only dates i have is with my psychatrist who gives me 2 different meds. For that even i shower and get some clothes that do it but otherwise i dont.
Im in ambulant medication therapy since my first suicide attempt. If my mother wouldnt exist, i probably would have ended my life.
The Problem is, i studied IT and i finish my master this year, im basically at the peak of my carrier. But i still got sick and it could probably be longer then i thought. I always thought that my hygiene is bad cause im lazy. That im just a lazy person. But at least for the time when i had my suicide attempt i got diagnosed with a depression.
Do i value myself highly?nope. The funny is, even with my bad hygiene i had oppurtinies to date but i forcefully close myself so nobody else suffers from my existence.
My room is a mess since im a child that never really changed. Im used to live in trash, sadly.
I dont know why i post here i think i just wanted to express myself and tell people what i really am

https://leedsubs.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_cBasGhOP4ybNWRw - screenshot when done & happy to do yours back - message me :))
Hi guys, for my uni dissertation I'm trying to see if different factors influence why young people use innovative products/apps such as digital banks across different countries/national cultures.
It doesnt matter whether you use a digital bank (revolut, monzo, etc) or not at all, I'm comparing Bulgaria and the UK on some very basic Likert scales measuring standard tech adoption factors. [it's an undergrad research, it's super simple]. Official title of the study is National culture’s impact on consumers’ adoption of innovation. - so this is why it's important your national identity is British/predominantly British
This is as part of my BSc International Business & Marketing at uni of Leeds, all details are in the info sheet - my email is [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) if you want to reach out.
I would be super grateful if you can spare 2 mins to answer and just pay attention to the options and answer best to your perception. I'm happy to do your survey back if eligible - my basic demographics are: 22yo, Bulgarian nationality, living in the UK - UK undergrad student, cis woman, queebisexual
PS this is my first post ever sorry if its wonky or i missed a rule, lmk

I’m located in the US (MA) and have secured an Ioniq 6 limited for delivery later this month. I have the cash to pay for it in full (and also have a trade-in worth about $22k), but want to take advantage of the $7500 credit available only when leasing through Hyundai Motor Finance (HMF), and then do an immediate early buyout.
My intention would be to lease, then register with HMF online and request an immediate buyout.
I'm struggling to understand some of the lease numbers and have a few questions:

1. Does it matter how much I put down in the down payment? My understanding is that the only thing that matters is the adjusted capitalized cost (ACC). If the down payment reduces the ACC then does adding more to the upfront purchase through a larger down payment make a difference? I assume by applying the trade-in payment given to me it's just part of the down payment.
   
2. Does it matter whether I choose 10k miles or 12k miles? Given that this would only affect the residual value (RV) and money factor (MF) and not the ACC, I assume it doesn't matter. The RV and MF won't matter to me because I'm immediately buying out I assume.
   
3. Does it matter whether I choose a 24-month or 36-month lease? For the same reasons as (2) I assume it shouldn't matter.
   

Thanks so much, never having leased before this all seems Byzantine but worth it if it's the only way to get the $7500 off.

As we all know, starting a new business can be challenging, and one of the biggest hurdles that many startups face is getting their message across to potential customers and investors.
That's where explainer videos come in. These short, animated videos can help to simplify complex information and make it more accessible and engaging to audiences.
By using clear and concise visuals, explainer videos can help startups to quickly and effectively convey their value proposition and key selling points, while also building brand awareness and recognition.
Explainer videos for startups can be easily shared on social media, websites, and other online platforms, making them a highly cost-effective way to reach a wider audience and drive traffic to a startup's website.
With the right approach, explainer videos can help startups to build credibility, establish trust with their audience, and ultimately, drive growth and success.
If you're a startup looking to make your mark in the market, consider investing in an explainer video to help tell your story and grow your business.
Trust me, it can be a game-changer!

well im gonna be honest,
I have problems with hygiene over 15 years and im 31. I did not regulary brushed my teeth so i had a lot of problems that needed to be fixed by a dentist.
I dont shower, maybe 1 in a few weeks. I work from Home, escpecially since covid and i work in IT.
I never meet people outside, i never invite someone to my home. I dont meet anyone, everyone i meet is through the internet.
My Hygiene was so bad, last time i did not work from home my coworkers went to my boss cause i did not realize that not washing my clothes would smell that bad.
I fixed that back then but ofc that left a mark on me and i feel very ashamed but i cant change much because of my depression.
The only dates i have is with my psychatrist who gives me 2 different meds. For that even i shower and get some clothes that do it but otherwise i dont.
Im in ambulant medication therapy since my first suicide attempt. If my mother wouldnt exist, i probably would have ended my life.
The Problem is, i studied IT and i finish my master this year, im basically at the peak of my carrier. But i still got sick and it could probably be longer then i thought. I always thought that my hygiene is bad cause im lazy. That im just a lazy person. But at least for the time when i had my suicide attempt i got diagnosed with a depression.
Do i value myself highly?nope. The funny is, even with my bad hygiene i had oppurtinies to date but i forcefully close myself so nobody else suffers from my existence.
My room is a mess since im a child that never really changed. Im used to live in trash, sadly.
I dont know why i post here i think i just wanted to express myself and tell people what i really am.

I'm here to hopefully find someone special who shares my interests and values. I may come off as a bit shy at first, but once you get to know me, you'll find that I have a great sense of humor and a kind heart.
I'm a self-proclaimed introvert, and I enjoy spending time alone or with a small group of close friends. I find that I recharge my energy best when I have some quiet time to reflect and unwind. That being said, I do love going out and exploring new places, trying new foods, and experiencing new things. I'm always up for an adventure!
I'm a bit of a nerd at heart. Whether it's reading a good book, playing video games, or tinkering with technology, I love immersing myself in the things I enjoy.
I value honesty, communication, and kindness above all else. I want to find someone who is authentic and genuine, who is comfortable being themselves around me. I'm not looking for someone who is perfect – just someone who is perfect for me.
So, if you're looking for someone who is kind, funny, and a little bit introverted, feel free to send me a message. I'm excited to see where this journey takes us!

• ECOPIA tires are offered as original equipment on the new Prius.
• These tires feature the innovative tire technology, "ENLITEN," which maximizes both environmental and driving performance of tires and "ologic," which improves fuel efficiency with large diameter and narrow tread width.
• Supplying tires with ENLITEN, Bridgestone will deliver "Energy: Committed to the realization of a carbon neutral mobility society" of the "Bridgestone E8 Commitment."

Tokyo (February 7, 2023) ― Bridgestone Corporation (Bridgestone) today announced that its ECOPIA EP510, ECOPIA EP150, and ECOPIA EP422 Plus tires have been selected as original equipment on the new Prius unveiled by Toyota Motor Corporation (Toyota). ECOPIA EP510 and ECOPIA EP150 tires will be supplied for use on vehicles sold in Japan, Europe, and Asia while ECOPIA EP422 Plus tires will be equipped on vehicles marketed in North America.
By supplying tires with the innovative tire technology, "ENLITEN," which Bridgestone positions as the new premium in the EV era, the company strives to achieve its corporate commitment for "Energy: Committed to the realization of a carbon neutral mobility society" described in its "Bridgestone E8 Commitment."*1
The Prius has evolved under the "Hybrid Reborn" concept into an exhilarating package with stylish designs that users will fall in love with at first sight and captivating driving performance. The new Prius employs a wide and low stance with large-diameter tires to create stylish designs that appeal to the senses. With the fifth-generation hybrid system and second-generation TNGA platform, the new Prius delivers comfortable driving performance that makes users want to keep driving.*2
Through the two companies' long-term co-creation, Bridgestone continues to contribute to the realization of value that Toyota provides through its wide range of vehicles. The three ECOPIA brand tires for the new Prius are "Dan-Totsu"*3 products that feature the innovative tire technology, "ENLITEN," which maximizes both environmental and driving performance of tires.
The tire casing of these tires use materials that reduce rolling resistance in order to improve fuel efficiency. Moreover, the 19-inch ECOPIA EP510 tires employ the ologic® fuel-efficient tire technology,*4 with large diameter and narrow tread width. This technology, combined with the latest tread pattern, compound and tire casing specifically designed for the new Prius, helps deliver high levels of environmental and driving performance, thereby enabling Bridgestone to deliver the maximum value based on the usage conditions of customers in their respective regions. In addition, in order to bring out the emotional design of the new Prius, the tire adopt new design on the side wall. With these features, ECOPIA tires will help extend the driving distance and draw out the full appeal of the new Prius and contribute to the realization of a sustainable mobility society.
■ Tires featured as original equipment
​
Sources: https://www.bridgestone.com/corporate/news/2023020701.html

27M Symptoms: severe fatigue, tachycardia, chills, heavy sweating, difficulty breathing No covid history
Normal blood panels except constant mildy decreased phosphate and achr ab Also my thyroid values fluctuate from low to high and my ft4 was once over the limits.
Please help, i do not know what to do anymore. I constantly feel so severely fatigued, I can not function in my daily life. A 10 minute drive or taking a short walk takes every bit of energy I have. I had many physician appointments and nothing was found and my fatigue was adressed as anxiety. Of course listened to my doctors, because I just wanted to get better and went into therapy. Nothing changed, I also do not feel anxious at all, therapy helped me big time to get to know me better a lot, but I do not feel anxious about being sick. I just feel sick. Lately, I went to a neurologist who ran an MG-panel and I am currently in the diagnosing process for Myasthenia due to elevated ab.
A few months ago I discovered a lump on the side of my neck buldging out which I also showed my neurologist. He told me it could be a lymph node and if it is still there in a few weeks I should have my pcp refer me to another doctor. It grew bigger, feels like it is embedded a little deeper in the neck, I cannot grasp it, but when I touch it it feels like some grape sized lump is in there. My pcp is so dismissive towards me and I really do not want to ask him, if it is not really really necessary. Do you think this should be examined? Any one else who experienced similar symptoms and who can give advice on what it could be?
First picture: https://i.imgur.com/YMjiLS4.jpeg
Second picture: https://imgur.com/a/LOo6mQI

My sister with bpd is a little older than me. When I was a child/teen I would look up to her, and it's only now I realized how much things were not normal. I suspect my father to have bpd traits also, so sometimes I feel I grew up in an alternative world.
I normalized stalking, obsessions, rage, walking on eggshells, manipulation, paranoia, silent treatment, snappy/cruel comments... The very very good, and the very very bad. For instance my sister would excessively call people in the middle of the night (with a different phone/a private number) to check if they were indeed sleeping and not avoiding her. While I would never have done it myself, at the time it felt not a big deal. I thought she was "just a little jealous" for a long time.
I'm embarrassed to say I lack a lot of basic adult skills, and sometimes I need a friend to remind me "no it's not nothing, it's a big deal". I feel a little dumb socially speaking. My sister always made fun of my values and moral, so I have trouble knowing what is ok and not ok in relationships and to be honest, in general as well.
What were the things you thought were normal for every family that turned out not to be normal at all ?

One member of our group can’t make it so we are selling the ticket at face value.
I originally booked it when it was due supposed to be Brixton, I booked two standing and two seating. The spare ticket would be for standing (unsure what’s going to happen at Wembley!)
Pop me a message if you’re interested, also happy to meet whoever at the gig to hand over ticket :)

Hi all
Im really frustrated with my relatives and I need your advise on how to handle them and what else can I tell them.
We adopted our dog (husky) and been with us for 2 years now. I just had my baby last year and since then My relatives were keep discouraging us about our dog at home and keep on telling us to give up our dog back to the shelter cos it is not healthy for the baby to be around with dog at home. Im wondering where they got this idea. they keep saying that the fur will go into the baby’s lungs (??) and pee and poop are harmful to the baby, but of course we dont let the baby go near to any of the dog’s pee and poop cos its always done outside. Our dog is Toilet trained.
It is just annoying me everyday on why they hate our dog in the house now that we have our baby. Our dog is vaccinated and well groomed all the time. Doesnt even bite or bark. Shey is a very good dog.. the only thing is that you would see her hair all over the house cos she’s double coated.
So now im wondering to those families here who has a dog and a baby at home, did something bad happen to your babies being with the dog?

Chapter 24: Top Dog
Boys: Shawn
Girls: Heather, Lindsay
Episode 24: Top Dog
"Last time on Total Drama Action," Chris said over a shot of the film lot. "A sweet, surprise package from the outside world left Heather bitter," Heather was shown looking at her jawbreaker with disgust, "and the cast got a taste of life in zero-gravity conditions," the four were seen floating in the space shuttle.
"But all was not well in the universe as Shawn and Courtney continued to spitefully hate each other," the two mentioned were shown making comments at each other.
"In the end, Heather won the challenge," she was shown to be covered in barf, "but lost her sweet smell. Lindsay fixed things between Courtney and Shawn" she, Shawn and Courtney were shown talking, "but lost her chance to stay in the game almost. Thanks to a tiebreaker, Courtney lost the game, but won a Lame-osine ride back to the real world?" She was seen puking into her pot and entering the limo.
"Can Lindsay breathe once more now that she barely got lucky?" The dumb princess was shown in the confessional.
"Will Shawn be able to carry on without his sole alliance?" The conspiracy nut was shown looking at his tinfoil hat.
The scene flashed to Chris in front of the cast trailers. "All this and more, on today's out-of-this world episode of, Total! Drama! Action!"
XXXXX
The episode opened on a shot of the morning sun before panning down to the cast trailers. The camera centered on the girls', then cut inside as Lindsay woke up.
"That was a nice dream I had," Lindsay talked to herself while sitting up in her bunk. "Marshmallow pillows and candy rainbow pieces have never been so tasty."
She soon looked around for a bit. "Where did Heather go? I thought she would be back from showering last night."
The door opened and Heather walked in, though she was looking groggy and tired.
"Where were you all night?" Lindsay asked her roommate. "Were you out on a secret trip thanks to your immunity? Let me guess where you went. The cheese factory, Niagara Falls, or did you go to the mall?"
"Zip it!" Heather shouted. "I spent the entire evening in the bathroom."
"Why did you sleep in there?" Lindsay asked.
"That ghost slash vampire fighting freak soaked the last of the gumbo on me!" Heather complained. "It took me hours to wash the food off and make sure I smelled exquisite."
"I don't blame Shawn for what he did," Lindsay shot a glare at the queen bee's direction. "You made him get into a fight with Courtney. Things could've gotten worse if I didn't solve their problem."
"Shut up, Lame-say," Heather insulted. "That homeschooled reject is going down, and once I deal with him and you, I'll claim the grand prize."
"I have no idea how Amy could tolerate you," Lindsay told her. "You worked with her, sure, but you decided to strategize behind her back just because she had standards."
"Amy and the other contestants mean nothing to me," Heather said. "Just watch your back!"
Confessional: Heather
"I knew I'd make it to the end. Big shocker," Heather filed her nails. "I just can't believe the zombie weirdo and brainless blondie made it. So they may as well just give me the check, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
Confessional Ends
Heather yawned and laid down on her bunk. Just then, the trailer door burst open. Chris walked in and promptly and joyfully blew a few notes on a bugle into the room. "Wake up, sleepyheads!" he announced with glee. "Breakfast is served, along with today's movie challenge. You've got ten minutes to get your sorry butts down there!" He backed out of the room.
"I bet today's genre will be "guy in a coma" movie," Heather suggested as she lied down.
"I doubt it, but I'm just going to eat breakfast," Lindsay said before leaving.
\
The scene flashed over to the craft services tent. "Wow Chef!" Shawn said in awe as the camera cut to a close-up of his plate as Chef ladled a portion of something that was pale yellow, lumpy, and slightly hairy onto it. "These scrambled eggs actually look pretty good!"
Chef looked at the theorist, then burst out into raucous laughter. "Scrambled eggs," he repeated before resuming his laughter and even falling over.
Shawn shot his food with a worried look and put it back before walking away. "I'll just eat on the leaves I've gathered."
Confessional: Shawn
"The way Chef was laughing made me believe that the scrambled eggs were too good to be true," Shawn confessed. "Or maybe they were poisoned. Or maybe they were drugged with sleeping medicine. But worst of all-"
Confessional Ends
Shawn sat next to Heather, who stopped eating once she saw him. "I gotta say, you smell pretty good," the theorist told her teasingly.
"It's just lavender soap," Heather glared. "I used three bottles of it thanks to your stunt."
"Now you know how I felt when you messed with my mind and got Courtney eliminated," Shawn said. "Zombies may eat brains, but they don't have any control over what they're doing."
"It's always supernatural stuff with you," Heather groaned. "I'm stunned Jo even likes you, but it makes sense. You two are ugly and can't dress fashionably to save your lives."
Shawn furiously got in Heather's face. "She likes me for me, and I won't change myself for her."
Confessional: Shawn
"It's one thing to be manipulative, but to insult my feelings for Jo? That's crossing the line," Shawn ranted. "Like Jo did before, I will make sure Heather loses."
Confessional Ends
The scene cut to Lindsay approaching the serving counter, only to look confused when she didn't see Chef. The cook then lifted his arm up and dropped a ladle of fake eggs onto her tray.
"Scrambled eggs?" Lindsay wondered as she looked at her plate. "It's the second episode all over again." Chef broke out laughing again behind the counter, but he managed to sit back up and wipe a tear out of his eye.
Lindsay sat down next to Shawn. "Hey Shawn. Where's your food."
"A heads up," Shawn whispered. "The eggs aren't cooked well. They're just fake."
"They looked real," Lindsay slid her tray away.
"So anyways, me and you are up against Heather, Lindsay" Shawn told her. "I know what you're gonna say."
"Let's team up and take her down," Lindsay grinned.
"It's almost like you read my mind," Shawn said, "but without being an alien."
Confessional: Lindsay
"Shawn is really cute," Lindsay admitted. "His constant nagging about his theories do bug me and he could really use a shower every once in a while, but I can see why Jo is into him."
Confessional Ends
"What can I do about the eggs?" Lindsay asked Shawn. "Chef will totally kill me with his eyes if I throw it away."
"Leave it to me," Shawn told Lindsay.
Shawn grabbed the eggs with his two hands. He mushed them together and created a ball out of the eggs. Twirling it on his finger for a brief moment, he tossed the ball away and it landed in the pot Chef was using to cook a meal. The cook stopped whistling to see what slipped in, but went about his business without a care.
"I can't believe he didn't even care," Lindsay commented.
"I don't know what Chef uses to make his food, but it's probably leftovers," Shawn said.
"Attention, cast!" Chris said, the camera cutting to him standing on the other side of the tent with a blue-and-yellow macaw perched on his shoulder. It squawked as the three contestants walked up.
"What is that parrot doing on your shoulder?" Lindsay asked.
"That's my new BFFF!" Chris explained with a grin. "Best Flying Friend Forever. That brings us to today's movie genre: the Animal Buddy flic." The three teens gave him skeptical looks.
Confessional: Chris
"You try coming up with twenty-two movie genres," Chris accused in the confessional. "It was either animal buddy, or guy in a coma movies."
Confessional Ends
"The hallmark of any good animal buddy flick is the human-animal bonding," Chris explained as his macaw watched him. "First, the human and the animal start out as enemies. Then, through many misadventures, the animal and human grow to care about each other," the camera zoomed in on the macaw as it seemed to be touched by the host's words, "and become fast friends."
The parrot rubbed Chris' chin affectionately with its head, and the host responded by extending a finger to rub the bird. However, the macaw decided to playfully chomp on the finger and squawked laughingly as the human winced in pain.
"You guys just hang tight for a sec, 'kay?" Chris told the cast with a calm look on his face. He walked off camera, and the castmates watched in mild horror as sounds of an attack were heard. Feathers flew, squawks were heard, and the host yelled "Let go of my coif!"
He walked back into view moments later, brushing the feathers off his shoulder but ignoring the ones in his now-ruffled hair. "So...where were we...?" he asked idly before smiling in realization. "Right! The first animal buddy movie challenge will be to pick an animal and teach it to be just like you," he explained as the camera panned across the wary faces of Heather, Shawn, and Lindsay. "That shouldn't be too hard, since you're all animals." A rimshot played, but none of the cast were amused.
Chris got serious again. "The cast member whose animal most resembles them at the end, wins the challenge." The contestants were shown again, and Lindsay in particular was looking pleased.
Confessional: Lindsay
"I love animals, especially dogs," Lindsay gushed in the confessional. "I even have one of my own. One time, I told my math teacher that his new hair piece looks like my dog's butt. But he totally took it the wrong way. My dog has the cutest curly little butt!" the blonde explained. "It was a compliment!"
Confessional Ends
The footage resumed at a shot of the contestants outside. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to meet your future BFFFFFs!" He motioned behind him, where something large and covered in an orange tarp was stationed between him and Chef. "Best Furry, Feathered, or Finned Friends, Forever!" he explained further, earning an eyeroll from the cook as he pulled away the tarp.
The four teens gasped as the four cages were uncovered. The camera focused on each animal one-by-one. First was a brown bear that roared at the cast, then a bigger cage holding a rather agitated looking shark, then a smaller cage holding a raccoon that tried to claw at them, and finally a bird cage holding a chameleon that rolled out its tongue.
"Pick an animal," Chris told the cast, "and get training. You have three hours."
"I got the raccoon!" Heather said immediately, shoving Shawn to the ground and dashing forward towards the small cage before either of the others could react.
Confessional: Heather
"I had to pick the raccoon," Heather reasonably told the viewers. "The chameleon is gross, the bear is huge, and the shark is murderous."
Confessional Ends
The scene returned to Shawn and Lindsay standing with the other animals. "I'll take the chameleon," the blonde said. "If it can change colors, I can't pass that up."
"And I'll take the bear," Shawn announced. "It has a lesser chance of eating me alive in comparison to the shark."
Chris saw that the final three have made their decision and chosen their animals, but noticed that the shark was lonely.
"So it seems they left out the shark," Chris mused. "I paid good money to bring all four of the animals out here, and I won't let any of them go to waste." He thought to himself. "What to do, what to do."
Ezekiel suddenly ran up to Chris. "Hey Chris. I'm here to help judge the animals."
"Ezekiel! Great timing," Chris piped up. "Say, do you want to pet sit for an animal while we wait for the judging part?"
"Uh, sure," Ezekiel agreed. "Which one do I have to watch over?"
"Chef, bring the pet here!" Chris ordered, causing the cook to drag the shark over to the home schooled guy."
Ezekiel's eyes almost popped out. "I have to take care of a shark? They're dangerous looking eh!"
"That's not my problem," Chris laughed while departing. "Just make sure it doesn't try to hurt the other animals. They didn't get picked, so they're sorta jealous."
All Ezekiel could do was gulp at his predicament.
\
Heather and the raccoon were sitting on a table. "I don't know if you've been tested for rabies, but I have my eyes on you, so don't try any funny business."
The raccoon snarled at her. "Hey hey! I don't want any trouble. I just want to win this challenge."
Heather pulled out a box of doggy treats. "If you behave, I'll feed this to you." This caused the raccoon to sit up straight, and Heather gave it a treat. "Good."
After devouring the treat, the raccoon held out its paw, causing Heather to awkwardly shake it.
\
The camera went to the chameleon, who's colors changed from red to bright yellow. It was supposed to change to Lindsay's hair color, but it didn't obey.
"That's not the color," Lindsay told her animal. "It's supposed to be blonde, not bright yellow. Let's try this again." The chameleon turned dark green in response.
\
The scene flashed to Shawn and the bear inside the service tent. "I know something that we share," Shawn told the bear. "We both like food, but the only difference is that I can cook and you can't."
The bear growled at that, causing Shawn to retract. "I'm not saying this to insult you. I'm just saying that I teach you how to cook. That way, you won't have to eat out of the trash can."
The bear smiled in response.
\
Ezekiel was looking at the shark still in its tank. He touched the tank with his hand, and after the shark chomped its jaws, he recoiled back in fear.
"You know what I like to do?" Ezekiel said. "Play songs on my harmonica."
The home schooled guy took his harmonica out and played "Ocean Man" by Ween. Just as he was going to get to the third stanza, the shark howled in boredom and pretended to fall asleep by rolling over.
Ezekiel stopped playing to see what the shark just did and sighed. "I know music doesn't kill animals eh. I'm not that naive."
\
The scene flashed to Heather and her raccoon lounging about. "I've already taught you manners, but I don't have anything else to do."
The queen bee's face lit up with inspiration. "I know." She lifted up the raccoon. "Want to help me sabotage the others? I'll give you the entire box of treats if you do."
The raccoon thought about it, but complied.
Confessional: Heather
"This will almost be like sabotaging my competition in the ballet competition, only this time, it's on a reality show," Heather said.
Confessional Ends
Lindsay's chameleon was now orange-colored. "My hair looks like it's colored orange, but that's not the case," Lindsay expressed her frustration.
Behind her, Heather had hooked her raccoon to a fishing line. She swung it over Lindsay's head, allowing for the raccoon to use a can of spray paint on Lindsay's hair.
Seeing what color the hair was now, the chameleon turned white.
"That's definitely wrong," Lindsay said while the raccoon resprayed her hair brown, causing the chameleon to turn into that color. "Wrong again!" Her hair got sprayed pink. "My hair isn't even close to pink!"
Not wanting to be exposed, Heather quickly reeled her raccoon back and took off.
\
The camera flashed back to the kitchen. The bear was stirring pancake mix and flour in a big bowl as Shawn watched him.
"I work in a bakery, so making cake is my first lesson in cooking," Shawn instructed. "I need to use the bathroom. Keep stirring until I come back."
After Shawn left, the bear decided to search the cabinets for more ingredients. The raccoon, who was under the table, crept from under there and stood near the bowl.
They took out a bottle of maple syrup, and quickly squirted it all onto the bowl. As soon as the raccoon was done, they went back to hiding when the bear came back with the ingredients.
The bear added some sugar into their bowl and resumed stirring the mix, unaware of the syrup. Heather saw her pet return back and they smiled at their sabotage.
\
Meanwhile, Ezekiel was bringing a set of books with him. "Alright, shark. I think you'd like to read a story."
He took out "The History of Canada" and turned to page one. "This book is one of my favorites. It describes how Canada was made."
Seeing the book that was picked, the shark silently whined before taking out some earplugs and placing them into their ears. Afterwards, they faked a smile just to show that they're paying attention.
"I knew you'd like the story," Ezekiel looked up from his book, unaware of the fact that the shark wasn't listening.
\
A flash took the scene to a stock shot of the film lot before another cut took it to Ezekiel, Chef, and Chris sitting at a judge's table, the contestants and their animal buddies waiting around in front of it. "Alright cast," Chris announced, "time to judge the animal buddies."
"Why does the bear have frosting on their lips?" Lindsay asked Shawn after seeing the animal lick their lips.
"It's a secret," Shawn replied.
"Heather!" Chris called, earning the attention of the mean girl and her partner. "You and your raccoon are up first!"
"About that," Heather walked up. "I didn't teach my raccoon much of anything," she said, causing Chris to frown at her.
Heather soon whispered to her raccoon, and before anyone else knew it, the raccoon sprung up and snatched Ezekiel's crochet hat.
"That's my hat you're taking!" Ezekiel protested as the raccoon returned to Heather.
"But I did teach it how to snatch and grab," Heather said.
Chris and Chef looked at each other and held up two signs with numbers on it. "Ten!" Chris announced with a smile.
Ezekiel revealed his score. "I give it a six personally!"
Heather glared at the boy and hurled his hat at his face.
\
"Alright chameleon," Chris said next, "give it all you got."
The chameleon stood on Lindsay's shoulder and turned its color blonde like the girl's hair color.
The three judges clapped and gave Lindsay an eight.
\
"Shawn," Chris told the remaining contestant. "Time to see what your bear cooked up." He opened the pot and saw a chocolate cake with maple syrup surrounding it. "Why is there maple syrup?"
"I don't know," Shawn shrugged. "The bear must've put it in as a surprise." He got slapped in the head by the bear. "What? I didn't give you any syrup."
Chef took the first bite. "This is an eight. The cake is good, but it gets hard to scrape off your teeth."
Chris was next. "Nine out of ten. I'd like the dessert better if you had properly planned it out."
Ezekiel was the last one. "Maple syrup goes great with everything," he smiled. "Especially cake. This scored ten points!"
"If it makes us look good, I applaud you for your skills," Shawn complimented the bear.
"Points have been tallied," Chris announced. "And the winner of the first challenge is Shawn!"
"Yes!" Shawn cheered, but noticed Ezekiel still eating the cake. "Uh, Ezekiel, are you gonna share with us?"
Ezekiel stopped eating when he heard him. "It is your cake, so yeah."
"I do get first dibs," Chris grabbed a piece before turning to look at the camera. "Be right back," he said with a wink.
\
(Commercial break)
\
The scene faded back in to a shot of a dirt road running through some unidentified forest just as a bus pulled up. Its door opened with a hiss, and Chris stepped off. "Here we are gang! Don't you just love field trips?"
Following him off the bus were the raccoon and Heather, then Lindsay with her chameleon on her shoulder, and finally Shawn who had to pull his bear through by the paw.
"The woods? Again?" Heather asked.
"Your next challenge is to find your way back to the film lot," Chris told them as an angled shot of some trees nearby was shown. "A ten mile hike through these woods," the camera panned back to the castmates, "using only your animal buddies to guide you," the host added and the shot moved over to the raccoon, chameleon, and bear as they shrugged in ignorance.
"But be careful," Chris warned. "Several vicious and life-threatening traps have been set up along the way."
"Who would do such a thing?" Lindsay got scared.
"Hint; it's the only guy here," Heather said.
"It wasn't me, so obviously it was you," Shawn accused Chris.
"Correct!" Chris confirmed. "First one back wins invincibility. Shawn gets to shave thirty minutes off his final time for winning the first challenge. Everyone ready?"
"Wait, where's Ezekiel?" Lindsay asked. "And where's that shark?"
Chris chuckled a bit. "They're just spending time together."
\
Ezekiel was standing on a rock supervising his shark. "I only have a couple of hours left before I can go home, and it's just you and me."
He realized that his pet had brought more sharks into the stream of water. "What the heck? Chris never told me I had to watch all of you."
\
"See you all back at the film lot," Chris told them as he took a step onto the bus, "and good luck." He boarded the bus, and moments later the door slid shut and it sped off in a cloud of dust.
The three teens lingered in the area for a moment, then slowly split up. Heather and the raccoon went left, Lindsay and the chameleon went right, and Shawn and the bear stood still.
Shawn saw the girls going their own ways. "I know how to get back. I'm a bit of a navigator," he told her companion, who smiled at the knowledge.
Confessional: Shawn
"If you want to know the inside of my bunker, check it out!" Shawn said before pulling out blueprints and showing his first page. "Entrance chamber with eye-scan entry and remote lasers here, here, and here. And here and here. And here." He turned to the next page. "Master bedroom with bite-proof bedspread and weaponized pillows, and just in case…" the page turned, "this is the panic room." He flipped one last time. "And this is the panic room inside the panic room. Can't be too careful."
Confessional Ends
Heather and her raccoon were shown wandering through the woods and searching around.
"How did Jo manage to do this part of the challenge?" Heather rambled. "It was a stranded episode, but I still don't know which way she went."
The raccoon rolled their eyes, but still followed Heather.
\
The camera flashed to Lindsay walking through the woods. "No offense," she said to her companion, "but I think I should've picked the bear. Shawn must be lucky riding on their back."
Whether or not the chameleon got offended, they turned themselves invisible. "What the? Where did you go? I can't lose you!" Lindsay frantically ran about trying to locate her pet.
The camera moved to show her stepping on a string hidden behind a small shrub. It snapped, and a rock was launched out of a nearby bush by what looked like a small catapult. It hit Lindsay in the stomach, causing her to kneel over.
"Those were the traps," Lindsay wheezed out before collapsing.
Confessional: Lindsay
"One of the things I would've liked to do with my money is spend it on a lifetime supply of lip gloss, but I canceled it because there's more things to value," Lindsay confessed. "Like creating a brand new style of lip gloss."
Confessional Ends
Back with Ezekiel, he was sitting down as he watched the sharks racing each other. He pulled out some cake pieces from the one Shawn and his pet created and proceeded to eat them.
"I should've packed them in a bag if I didn't want syrup in the pockets, but I'll make do," Ezekiel shrugged before a shark swallowed all of his pieces. "Hey! If you wanted a piece, you should have just asked!" he said angrily.
This wasn't the smartest thing to say as the sharks chomped their jaws and went towards his direction.
Not wanting to potentially die, Ezekiel took out the last of his cake slices. "If you want these, go get them!" He threw them far away, causing the sharks to forget about Ezekiel and swim for the cake. "That was close."
\
The camera cut to Heather as he followed the raccoon. "Are you sure you know where we're going?" she asked. "I am not going to lose because of you leading us in circles."
The raccoon growled, but still stayed by her side.
"Of course I'll be upset," Heather replied. "I have plans for when I win the million bucks."
Confessional: Heather
"When I win, I'm thinking of my own spin-off series. The World According to Heather," Heather described it. "Luckily, I'm up against the dimwit and the nutcase. So they may as well just give me the money, I mean come on. I think we all know who's gonna win."
Confessional Ends
"Chameleon, where did you wander off to?" Lindsay yelled as she walked through the woods, "We have to be together so we can make it to the film lot."
The camera followed her to show that she was rapidly approaching a large patch of ground with a suspiciously large number of sticks and branches on it. "Could this be the way home?" As soon as Lindsay stepped onto the odd patch of ground, the branches snapped and she fell with a holler into the pit that had been hidden. "Booby traps!"
\
Shawn and his bear were strolling along. You know," he told his companion, "I can say that I trust you. If you were robotic or built by Chris and the producers, there wouldn't be any trust." The bear giggled happily.
The camera followed them as they came across a pile of leaves. As soon as they hit it, a net seemed to appear in the leaves under their feet and dragged them up in a suspended bundle.
"This isn't good. We have to get down," Shawn mentioned.
Confessional: Shawn
"I never thought I would see the day where I got captured in a booby trap," Shawn said.
Confessional Ends
"I have an idea!" Shawn said as he grabbed some nearby blueberries and gave them to the bear. "You eat as many blueberries as you can. If we're lucky, your increased weight can get us out."
Shawn took out a piece of wood bark carved into a knife. "I'll use this to cut holes into the trap just to help us."
\
The camera flashed to Heather and the raccoon outside a small cave. "I don't think there's a time for breaks," she told her companion. The raccoon snarled viciously and crawled into the cave. "As long as we're quick," she complied and followed her pet.
Inside the cave was the raccoon's surprisingly luxurious den. There was a reading corner, a kitchen, a ping-pong table, and even a big screen TV.
"You guys are civilized?" Heather said in shock upon seeing the den. "This resembles my house, but much smaller." A raccoon walked by and offered her a sandwich from a tray. "One sandwich? I'll take more than that," she said as she took three.
The raccoon, holding a paddle, chirped at her from the ping-pong table. "Ping pong? Like I would pass up on that offer," Heather said before going over.
\
The camera went to the pit Lindsay fell into. She had dirt all over her body along with leaves, her boots were gone, leaving her barefooted, and she was drifting into insanity.
"I'm so hungry," Lindsay croaked out. "What can I eat that's edible?"
She pulled out her lipstick and took the tube off before biting into it. "Tastes just like cherries."
\
Meanwhile, as Shawn was sawing through the net, the bear had its belly and mouth covered from all the berries they were currently eating on. After a few more seconds, the net finally burst and the duo fell into the ground.
"We're free!" Shawn whooped. "Time to get back to the lot."
\
The scene skipped ahead to a shot of the afternoon sun high in the sky, the camera panning down and to the right to show Chris standing alone by the cast trailers. A little ways to the left was a meager finish line flanked by tall red flags.
"Shawn and his bear!" Chris announced as he saw them coming to the lot. "Nice one!" He proceeded to high five Shawn. "You're the first team to arrive, and for being the first one back, you get a guaranteed spot in the final two."
Confessional: Shawn
"Going to the finale!" Shawn whooped with the bear next to him. "Training pets can be a hassle, but as long as they're not your enemies, you can bond well with them!"
Confessional Ends
"Where is everyone?" Shawn asked the host, both watching the woods along with the bear.
"Sure they'll be here any minute," Chris answered while looking at his watch.
"I'm back!" the voice of Ezekiel announced as he entered the scene.
"Where's the shark, Zeke?" Chris wondered.
"It met some friends in the water," Ezekiel described the situation, "or its family."
"As long as a mammal is reunited with their family, I'm cool with it," Chris shrugged.
\
\
The camera panned to the sun as it set, then the moon rose, then the moon set and the sun rose. The shot panned back to them waiting for the remaining contestants, with Chris having grown a large and bushy beard, and the bear asleep.
"Any... minute... now," Chris said weakly, still looking at his watch.
"It's been days," Shawn pointed out. "Maybe we should send out a search party."
"And here they come now!" Chris announced brightly before speeding off screen. The camera pulled back to show Victor and his raccoon and a soaking wet Heather and her fox walking up to the brickhouse.
"Are you guys ok?" DJ asked. "What took you so long?"
"I lost track of time when spending time with Lord Montague," Victor said while gesturing to the raccoon.
"And I wound up taking the wrong river," Heather explained through chattering teeth.
A familiar shout caught their attention and they turned to see Kitsune, now sporting and eye-patch and the parrot on her shoulder, swing into the film lot on a vine. "Argh!" She said in a thick pirate accent. "It be good to be back in me home port."
"Welcome back cast," said a clean shaven Chris. "Better late than never. DJ and his bear buddy easily won the challenge, which means invincibility. DJ gets a free pass into the Final Three."
"Shiver me timbers!" Kitsune cried. "Good job me boy!"
"The question is; Who will join him in the Final Three?" Chris asked. "And who will be the next one outta here? The answer will be revealed on the most exciting Gilded Chris ceremony ev-ah!"
"Now be the time to make the treacherous wench walk the plank!" Kitsune told her allies, who just gave her confused and concerned looks.
"Faith!" Heather groaned. "You're so annoying!"
"Who be Faith?" The goofball asked in genuine curiosity. "I be One-Eyed Foxy, the deadliest pirate on the Seven Seas! And this here's me faithful parrot, Eddie," she added with an affectionate rub of the parrot's head.
"She spent too long in a pit," the parrot explained. "Rawk!"
Heather walked up to the goofball, then slapped her across the face. Kitsune's pupils shrunk and she blinked a couple of times. "Thanks," she said begrudgingly. "I needed that."
XXX
"I must say," Victor said, "this has been one of the strangest few days of my life. At least I do not have to vote for DJ now. And maybe Chris will realize that a mole is no longer necessary"
XXX
[A grand theme played as the camera zoomed in on the amphitheatre. Several film strips of the host's highlights from the previous season flew past the screen, then the camera panned out from a solid gold screen to show a Guilded Chris.]
\
"This is a big one cast," Chris told the four teens from his podium. "DJ's safe from elimination which means the rest of you, are fair game. So," he mined a cat's claws scratching, "sharpen those claws and cast your votes. Someone is going home for the last time."
"Pfft," DJ scoffed. "Sorry girl, but you gotta go." He made his vote, and the screen shrunk into the top-left of the screen.
Kitsune sighed in relief as she made her vote. "Now that's satisfying." She shrank into the bottom-right.
"Like it matters at this point," Heather spat bitterly as she made her vote. She shrank into the top-right.
"There really is one choice," Victor said as he made his vote. He shrunk into the bottom-left.
A close-up of Chris grew from the center of the screen and stopped just before it overlapped with any of the castmates' faces.
"The Gilded Chris goes to..." the host announced. "DJ! And Kitsune!" The screen cut to Chris at the podium. "Heather, since you were the only one who didn't vote for you, it's time for your ride home."
"Finally!" Kitsune cheered.
"And Victor will be joining you," Chris added, causing everyone to gasp.
"But why?" DJ asked.
"Let's just say he had some special caused in his contract that he is now in breach of," the host answered.
"But DJ was immune!" Victor protested. "What would you have me do?"
"I don't know," Chris answered with a shrug. "Maybe sabotage DJ like we told you to," the other three gasped again.
"So Sugar was right?" Heather asked in disbelief.
XXX
"Confession time," Kitsune said. "I kinda knew Sugar was telling the truth. Seriously guys, Victor's a terrible liar."
XXX
Victor sighed and stood up. "I apologize for my actions and I hope that you will forgive me," he told his allies. "Please know that had I not been contractually obligated, I never would have influenced your votes like I had."
"Don't sweat it," Kitsune said with a wave of her hand. "We can't help the things this show makes us do."
"And it's not like you gave anyone an advantage in the competition," DJ added. Victor, upon hearing their words, beamed brightly.
"I'm not okay with it!" Heather shouted. "What was the point in the vote if you were gonna boot him anyway?!"
"Huh," Chris said. "I did not think about that."
"So that means that I can stay and he can go right?" Heather asked.
"Not really, all votes are final," the host explained. "And even so, technically he was disqualified after you were voted off."
"Well you'll be hearing from my lawyers!" Heather threatened.
"Considering that his being here kept you in the game for like three more episode," Chris replied, "I doubt you have a case."
The camera cut to a long distance shot of the film lot as a frustrated growl from Heather shook the screen.
\
The scene flashed ahead to Heather and Victor getting escorted to the Lame-osine by Chef. "You'll be penniless! Jobless! Your name'll be mud on every blog from here to Cape Breton!" Heather yelled back at the host. "You think you were in trouble when Alejandro sued?! I'll make you wish you never met me!"
Victor got in the limo, Heather was thrown in by Chef, and the cook slammed the door shut. It sped off in a cloud of dust, and the shot cut back to the start of the red carpet where the host stood flanked by the two finalists. "DJ! Kitsune!" he announced, putting his arms around their shoulders. The two
Victor got in the limo, Heather was thrown in by Chef, and the cook slammed the door shut. It sped off in a cloud of dust, and the shot cut back to the start of the red carpet where the host stood flanked by the two finalists. "DJ! Kitsune!" he announced, putting his arms around their shoulders. The two smiled brightly at the camera. "The Final Two! One of you will become a millionaire! And the other...will
The host rose his arms and knocked the two down in the process. "Tune in to our most controversial episode ever, of, Total! Drama!
(Roll the Crdits
​
​
(Bonus
The Gentleman and The Queen Bee both sat in the limo in an awkward silence. "So," Victor
"Don't talk to me," Heather
"Pardon me for attempting to dispel the tension," he replied
"Well I'm sorry," Heather said in frustration. "But I just lived through six weeks of torture, the guy I kinda have a crush on is head over heels with the most annoying person on the planet, and to top it all off I was just voted off. By you! So excuse me if I'm ot in the mood to talk. Especially considering if you'd done your job as a mole, I'd still be in the
Victor pursed his lips. "You do realize that even without my vote you still would have been voted off. Also, the fact that the producers had to hire someone to keep you on the show should tell you
Heather opened her mouth but Victor cut her off. "But by all means, continue your sul
16th/15
16th/15th:
13th:
13th: S
12th
11th:
10th:
9th:
8th: Mik
7th: Amney
6th:
5th:
3

Hi
(england)
Me and my girlfriend agreed a purchase price on a property of £200,500 and the house was up for £210,000. We are in the buying process and the lady selling it is an old lady. We had spoken to her on the phone when it was up for sale in hope she would pick our offer, and fortunately she did. Apparently she wanted more that what we offered but accepted it because she liked us.
​
However....our mortgage lender valued it at £195k maximum, subject to a damp survey. The damp survey uncovered damp and quotes have come in at £5k + VAT. The surveyor also noted structural issues that would cost into the thousands (approx £3-4K).
Due to the down valuation, we would have to increase our deposit by £5.5k in addition to the additional £10k of works required we would have to pay out for upfront.
How do we go about negotiating this?
we really want the house despite the issues and the old lady is a nice woman, but i also dont think i should then have to pay all this extra if its not worth it.
the estate agent mentioned she wanted more than our offer but accepted a little less as mentioned, but now i feel its too expensive, and should she try and sell it to someone else they would uncover the exact same issues.
​
Is it fair to expect reductions in this situation?