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My husband is currently a second year general surgery resident on a regional rotation and we have our own place in our home city but we have been living separately off and on as I work in our home city and he works four hours away. I try to visit him every few weeks and stay a week or two with him if I can as he rarely wants to drive to see me, even though his family & friends are in our home town also. This rotation is seemingly more ‘chill’ as he starts at 6:30-7am and often finishes before 5pm so he has more free time. However I’ve noticed that he has no interest in going out, seeing friends/family etc and watches YouTube/tv for hours on end every single weekend and during weekdays too. He doesn’t go to the gym because he says he is too tired, pre-marriage he would go multiple times every week then he moved away from work and just stopped. He has stopped getting routine haircuts & watching his diet, he mostly eats junk food and has gained around 30kgs in the 1.5 years that we have been married. He has also become increasingly impatient & critical of everyone & everything, for example we will be driving and he will get extremely annoyed if someone does not let him merge or if a pedestrian is taking too long to cross a path. He also appears to be tired all the time except when he is watching YouTube and has no interest in sex, he has stopped initiating, he will only be interested once a month & only if I initiate. I sense an overall decrease in interest in me and other aspects of life. He has mentioned that he needs a holiday just yesterday. I was wondering if this is relatively normal during residency or should I be concerned?

I use my Swivel frequently around the house and auto. I noticed the Swivel Pro was on sale but thanks to this sub I want better color rendering ( it also matters a lot for indoor home improvement).

After smoking every day all day for the past 3-4 years I’ve finally decided to take a month sober.
My best friend was recently hospitalized with what’s she thought was a sever panic attack. She was there for a full week without my knowledge. When she came home and I knew she was different. I couldn’t even look her in the eyes- because my bestie was no longer there. She has continued to have disordered thinking, paranoid thoughts, and delusions based around people being out to get her. She kept calling + texting me with wild accusations, calling me nasty names and couldn’t listen to any logic or reason. I had to block her. This has been super distressing to me but has also been such a wake up call.
Our mental well being is everything. Without it we can’t be normal functioning members of society- with healthy fulfilling relationships. Having started to process our relationship I’ve realized that she wasn’t the person I thought she was. I’ve been putting so much time and energy into a relationship that was build off smoking weed together. If I’m being honest with myself we didn’t really have that much in common either. I just used it as a distraction from working on being okay with being alone with myself.
So on June 1st I started to keep a tally for every time I thought about weed or smoking weed. I had 20 tallies by the time it hit noon. This really opened my eyes up to the fact I do have a problem. I need to stop smoking and deal with my emotions head on instead of running from them. Otherwise in 4 years I’ll end up in the same place my best friend is. 3 years ago she was top sales women at the company we worked for. Now she’s been unemployed for 2 years. Wants to purchase a house and get married and so on and so on but… forgot to put in the work for the past 2 years to get to the place she wants to be. Instead she sat at home and smoked weed until life got too tough and she had a psychotic break.
The first 3 days were tough. I cried and cried and cried. I’ve been using weed to numb my emotions so without weed I’m so emotionally raw. Went out to eat with my bf to a place me and her used to go to a lot. Ended up crying at the table - so embarrassing.
I feel 100x less anxious sober then I did smoking. I don’t have nearly as many negative thoughts. It’s easier to sleep. It’s easier to feed myself. It’s easier to enjoy life. It’s easier to be vulnerable to friends and to give advice. This is exactly the wake up call I needed. Sorry for the long post. I’m just proud of myself. Getting mentally stronger each day!!

Ragnavi stood at the edge of a hill located beside the Dragonkin encampment. She breathed in, drinking deep from the crisp morning air.
It tasted wrong.
I have been dancing to Elnaril's tune. She was still coming to terms with that particular revelation. Even now, admitting it rankled her. The notion that she'd allowed herself to be blinded by her pursuit of EXP...fuck, it was shameful. No one else knew, but she did, and that was already bad enough.
Hindsight made it all seem so obvious. This entire war was a farce. Her armies had advanced unopposed because they were never meant to be opposed. Their string of victories, and the Harpies she'd slain as EXP, were little more than a trail of bait leading her towards Elnaril's capital city. No other explanation made sense.
Not that she'd looked especially hard for an explanation until yesterday. It was much more convenient to adorn Elnaril with neat, concise labels. Why had he declared war? Because he was greedy. Why were his armies failing so spectacularly? Because he was incompetent. Ragnavi had been content to look no further than that.
After learning Elnaril was controlled by the Blight, however? That changed matters.
Most of her soldiers refused to believe it. In truth, the Harpies they'd extracted the information from refused to believe it as well. They'd thrown out the rumors as a desperate measure to buy favor, explaining how distressing Message Crystal reports of a Blight-possessed Elnaril were coming from cities to the far east. The concept seemed ludicrous, and Ragnavi likely would have dismissed it as hearsay – if it weren't for the numerous corroborating accounts of disappearances in the capital. Nobles, civilians and Combat Class users alike, all vanishing without a trace.
When combined with Elnaril's flagrant lack of regard for the lives of his people, it indicated a pattern. Not of greedy incompetence, but of calculated malice.
Others could stick their heads in the sand if they wished. Ragnavi had grown up in the pit of vipers that was the Dragonkin court, and she could smell deceit from leagues away. This Blight-infected Elnaril wanted her army to continue marching straight towards the capital city. For him, abomination that he was, sacrificing the lives of thousands of Harpies in order to draw her attention was no worse than spilling loose change on the ground.
What have you prepared that instills you with such confidence? What awaits me at the capital?
She supposed that she'd be finding out soon, when she left her armies behind and flew ahead alone.
If Ragnavi was capable of greater self-delusion, she might have been able to convince herself that she was acting pragmatically. There were just enough benefits for it to be a half-sensible plan. Compared to the maddeningly slow gait of her armies, she could travel significantly faster on her own. Flying solo would let her reach the capital in less than ten days, while trekking with her soldiers across the bulk of Harpy territory would take months more. And it wasn't as if any Harpies she crossed paths with could keep pace with her, so there was no real danger to it.
I am playing the role of a Scout, she told herself. We must know what Elnaril is plotting before advancing further. Arriving at the capital earlier than he anticipates, before he's recalled more Harpies to fortify his position, may give rise to unforeseen opportunities. I will observe the city from a safe distance – and if a chance arises to disrupt his plans, no Combat Class user in the world is better-suited to taking advantage of that scenario than myself.
Sound logic...if she ignored the fury boiling inside her. The last Blight she'd encountered left her with agonizing Corruption sickness that afflicted her to this day. Its death hadn't been anywhere near sufficient of a revenge. Now a second Blight was trying to make a fool of her, and she was supposed to avert her eyes from that offense?
No. Perhaps the cautious route would have been to avoid the capital city, Scouring the rest of Harpy territory for EXP, but she was no mewling newborn that cowered from a challenge when it presented itself. She was a Dragonkin. A true Dragonkin. Elnaril would pay for his transgressions in blood and fire.
Ragnavi recognized that her desires were born from hubris. She also did not care. What good was all the power she'd accumulated if she couldn't use it as she pleased?
An approaching presence jarred her from her thoughts. She turned around to see the man she'd called for standing several feet away, although he was 4 minutes and 13 seconds late. Considering his circumstances, she would afford him a measure of leniency. "Vurshath."
"My Queen." Her retainer nodded to her. "You wished to see me?"
She examined the man closely. Vurshath's posture was slouched by a quarter of an inch, and black circles were emblazoned under his eyes, so dark that they could've been mistaken for paint. He was exhibiting unacceptable weakness for a retainer of the Dragon Queen to show. The kind that invited vultures to swoop down and pick at your carcass.
Yet even if the other retainers attempted to depose him at this very instant, Ragnavi wasn't certain if Vurshath would care. He was still recovering from the loss of his wife. It was one thing to claim that your family was prepared to die in battle; another to witness that gruesome vow become a reality. The Dragonkin casualties thus far had been sparse, but sparse was not zero, and Vurshath's wife happened to roll poorly in the game of war.
The pain in his eyes was one that Ragnavi was intimately familiar with.
"As you are aware, I shall be traveling to the Harpy capital," she began. "I intend to head straight there, without detours or excessive rest. It is unlikely that I will encounter anything more than the occasional Harpy along the way."
She locked eyes with him. "However. While the odds are egregiously small, there remains a possibility that I will encounter...others."
Vurshath's posture stiffened. His facial muscles twitched sporadically, a cauldron of emotions threatening to boil forth. "I see."
Ragnavi allowed him a grace period of three seconds before continuing. "Your wayward pariah of a daughter. What is her name?"
Silence.
"Meyneth," he finally spat, as if it was a curse. Vurshath didn't bother asking why Ragnavi wished to know. Among the scattered pieces of information the Harpy prisoners had divulged, one interesting fact was the makeup of the Human's core Party. Four Elves, two Fiends, the Human himself...
And a Dragonkin. With the same age, height, and scale coloration of Vurshath's exiled progeny.
It could be mere coincidence. After what happened with Elnaril, though, Ragnavi was hesitant to accept such a simple, convenient explanation.
Meyneth. Ragnavi committed the name to memory. "I shall ask you one more question. If luck smiles on me, and I come across the Human's Party, and I cast Identify on the Dragonkin in his Party, and their name is a match for your daughter's...what would you have me do? This is not a puzzle or a test. I am letting you decide."
She wondered if he fully appreciated the boon she was granting him. The Human's pet Dragonkin was a traitor to their race. Such a lowly creature deserved nothing less than to be executed, without recourse or remorse. It was only out of respect for Vurshath's recent loss that Ragnavi was willing to give his daughter a second chance.
Upon hearing her words, the man lost any semblance of composure. His face twisted into an ugly rictus of anguish and hatred, and when he spoke, the words were laced with a venom that could fell gorebeasts. "Kill her." Vurshath balled his hands into shaking fists. "Kill her. Kill her quickly. She does not deserve to exist. A world where Velen is gone, yet that defect persists is a world of mockery that I cannot abide."
Ragnavi nodded. She was plenty willing to fulfill his request. Slaying enemies was one of the few things that still gave her joy in life. Even so, a part of her was disappointed. Vurshath's choice proved that the two of them possessed incompatible personalities. He could be entertaining enough – when not wallowing in misery – but Ragnavi was averse to spending time with someone who would condemn a family member so readily.
It was the end of their acquaintanceship. When she returned from her mission, she would cut him loose, and that would be that.
"Goodbye, Vurshath." Ragnavi turned around, and without another word, assumed her Draconic Form. The Corruptive pain of transformation gradually subsided, after which she took flight and began her journey.
Ten days. A prelude to the storm. She'd use that respite to prepare herself, and whoever she met next – be that Meyneth, the Human, or Elnaril himself – would regret opposing her as the flames took them.
--
Rob sat alone in his tent, rubbing his hands together and suppressing maniacal laughter. He was probably spending too much time with Malika during the dimension mage sessions, because some of her mannerisms were becoming infectious. Usually the big sibling was supposed to be a bad influence on the little sibling, but she'd already stolen all his swear words, so now it was his turn to pick up habits.
And that was okay! Today was an excellent day for maniacal laughter. It wasn't often that a Combat Class user reached a 200 stat point milestone. And by often, he meant fucking never. He was pretty sure even the Dragon Queen hadn't done that naturally, excluding her doubled stats. She'd likely gone with a more balanced spread that didn't prohibitively favor one stat over the others – like a boring loser.
Alright, maybe he was feeling a bit hyper, but he deserved the good vibes after yesterday's war battle. Spending stat points was one of the few types of pure, no-strings-attached joy that Elatra offered.
Drum roll please! Rob played the sound effect in his head, then added 15 of his unspent points into Vitality, bringing its total up to 200.
Do Not Go Gently Level Increased! 5 → 6
Lifesurge Level Increased! 23 → 26
Dauntless Reprisal Level Increased! 21 → 24
Imbue Vitality Level Increased! 2 → 3
Regeneration Level Increased! 29 → 32
Regrow Self Level Increased! 1 → 2
Passive Skill Learned! Name: Lifedrinker (LEGENDARY)
As an appetizer for the main course, Rob quickly ran through the laundry list of bonuses for his Skills. Let's see...Do Not Go Gently's cooldown and duration went down and up, respectively. Lifesurge and Dauntless Reprisal's cooldown dropped to 2 minutes. Lifesurge also heals 100% of my maximum health now. Imbue Vitality has a 5x damage multiplier instead of 4x. Regrow Self is twice as fast. Regeneration...
...Holy shit, Regeneration.
Eyes wide, Rob moved on to his new Skill, which should shed light on what he'd just read.
Name: Lifedrinker (LEGENDARY) Prerequisite: Vitality 200 Description: The final Vitality Skill that can be learned solely through stat gains. Effects of Regeneration are multiplied by a factor of 15. Additionally, whenever the owner of this Skill kills a worthwhile opponent, their maximum HP permanently increases by 3.
Okay.
This was big.
Lifedrinker being the final Vitality milestone was slightly disappointing, but realistically speaking, he would've needed to put three-fourths of his future stat points into Vitality to hit 250 anyway. He'd neglected his other stats to get to 200, so diversifying from here on out was for the best. Besides – Lifedrinker's benefits easily made up for there being no new milestones.
First: Regeneration. Multiplying its current effects by 15 meant that he now restored 80% of his maximum HP every minute. No panic Lifesurge necessary. Even in fights where his Skills were on cooldown, or an enemy was making it difficult for him to heal via Lifesteal damage, as long as he held on, he would be back to full HP in 75 seconds at the most. It also meant that the partial Regeneration he shared with his allies would be way stronger. Anything that kept his friends alive was a huge win in his book.
With all that said, it was Lifedrinker's secondary effect that was throwing Rob for a loop. Whenever he killed a 'worthwhile opponent', his maximum HP would go up by 3. That was...potentially the most important Skill effect he'd ever learned.
At a glance, it might not seem that impressive. Rob already had 2000 HP. Increasing it by 3 per kill wouldn't be a dramatic boost – initially. The thing was that Lifedrinker had no upper limit. Theoretically, if Rob could keep finding worthwhile opponents, his Vitality would never stop increasing. The hard cap of Level 99 would no longer be an impassable wall preventing him from growing stronger.
That had been on his mind, if he was being honest. The Dragon Queen was a double stats cheater, and the gods were literally gods. What would he have done if he'd reached Level 99 and it just...wasn't enough? He could try to boost his existing Skills by getting into more fights, but that was subject to diminishing returns. Tough Skin was a prime example of that; despite Rob taking a beating against the monster stampede, the Skill hadn't increased. The last time it did was when a Blight decapitated him and ate most of his body. If he needed to one-up that feat to make Tough Skin level again, then it likely never would.
Lifedrinker was simpler. Kill enemies, get HP. The 'worthwhile' stipulation was a limiting factor – he couldn't toss a Riardin Special onto an anthill and reap the rewards – but he could work with that. There were hundreds of monsters in a single high-Level Dungeon, and they respawned over time. If enemies above, say, Level 35 were considered worthwhile, then awesome. If they weren't?
Looks like I'm going to be the schmuck who lets a Dungeon grow on purpose. He'd save that as a last resort. Could blow up in his face, but, eh. What did it matter if a Dungeon overflowed, when the alternative was Ragnavi and the gods doing their thing?
There was just one issue. Lifedrinker's bonus needed to be built up. An infinite upper limit was worth jack shit if the base number stayed at 0. The sooner, the better, too, as Ragnavi's army was about a month away from them. He'd love to go trawling for Dungeons right this second, but Rob doubted that Elnaril was going to wait on his behalf before getting bored and infecting Loci of Power. The only way forward was to continue south to the capital and build Lifedrinker in...different ways.
Rob's train of thought screeched to a halt. When he really looked at it, Lifedrinker's timing seemed more than a little dubious. He couldn't help but notice that he'd been given a Skill that incentivized killing while in the middle of a war.
A war where he was trying to avoid as many enemy casualties as possible.
It could just be a coincidence. Stat milestones happened on his terms. The system would've given him the same Skill if he'd reached 200 Vitality months ago. That was a reasonable assumption to make.
...Still. Didn't feel right. He wished he could do some research on the subject, but it wasn't like there was anyone on-hand he could cross-reference 200 Vitality with. Had the Dragon Queen gotten the same Skill? Would explain why she was so murder crazy.
After some thought, Rob shook his head. Considering how many people she'd slaughtered in The Scouring, a Dragon Queen with Lifedrinker wouldn't have struggled to defeat the Blight of Broadwater. Which meant two possibilities: her bonus double stats didn't count for Skill Prerequisites, or Lifedrinker was a custom Skill that the Skills had cooked up for him.
Rob wasn't a fan of that idea. The Skills were victims in this whole fucked-up affair. He didn't want to imagine them hand-crafting an ability that encouraged him to kill a bunch of people. Were they-
He froze. Something on his Character Sheet was different.
Name: Lifedrinker (LEGENDARY) Prerequisite: Vitality 200 Description: The final Vitality Skill that can be learned purely through stat gains. Effects of Regeneration are multiplied by a factor of 15. Additionally, whenever the owner of this Skill kills a worthwhile opponent, their maximum HP permanently increases by 3. It could have been a utopia.
His eyes fell on the last sentence in the Description.
Before he could respond, it changed once more.
Description: The final Vitality Skill that can be learned purely through stat gains. Effects of Regeneration are multiplied by a factor of 15. It could have been a utopia. This world is a charnel house of death. Your home is not so dissimilar. You do not know what true peace is like. What it can be. How it can be achieved.
The words kept changing.
Description: The final Vitality Skill that can be learned purely through stat gains. But they know. They've seen them. Created them before. They could have made a utopia. And they chose not to.
Changing.
Description: You cannot comprehend it. What this war means. The real war. Not pointed sticks piercing flesh. The war of existence. Of reality. More than a single world at stake. Many after. Potentially infinite lives. Never ends. Unless stopped here.
Change.
Description: They are vulnerable. System is their heart. Mana is their lifeblood. Poured too much of themselves. Tied to world. Cannot...
The words wavered, almost fading away, before returning.
Description: Their leader recognizes mistakes. Won't make them again. Will never be this vulnerable again. Only opportunity.
Description: Lifedrinker. Crafted. Best we could manage. Highest probability. Of victory. Distasteful. We know.
Description: Remember. Stakes. Consequences. And. Choose.
Rob blinked.
Description: The final Vitality Skill that can be learned purely through stat gains. Effects of Regeneration are multiplied by a factor of 15. Additionally, whenever the owner of this Skill kills a worthwhile opponent, their maximum HP permanently increases by 3.
The words were still and unchanging.
He sat there for a long time. Mulling over everything he'd just been told. Contemplating the enormity of what lay ahead.
"Ah." Rob's voice was quiet, barely a whisper. "So no pressure, then."
--
The next few days were an exhausting mixture of lighthearted Skill testing and existential dread, knocking around Rob's emotional state like a ping-pong ball.
Everyone in the coalition was excited over Lifedrinker. Well, everyone except Seneschal Sylpeiros, King Cyraeneus, and Nerasi, that is. They were already thinking of the kind of threat Rob might be in the future – and not liking what they envisioned. Cyraeneus and Nerasi mostly took the news in stride, understanding that Rob would be more crucial than anyone in defeating Queen Ragnavi. For now, his strength was their strength.
Sylpeiros...was less accepting. He went on a minor rant about bullshit Human leveling and bullshit Human Skills before stalking off into the distance and putting himself in a self-imposed time out. When the Seneschal returned, he was calm as can be and ready to offer advice, only the slight twitch of his eye indicating that anything was amiss.
Rob appreciated the free entertainment. Sylpeiros' meltdown was the funniest shit he'd seen all week, and it helped keep him grounded as the coalition advanced further south towards the capital city.
Initial testing of Lifedrinker proved unsuccessful, which was to be expected. Powerful monsters rarely spawned outside of Dungeons, and most of the high-Level wildlife in Harpy territory had been conscripted into Elnaril's monster stampede. After Rob killed a Level 29 snake with nothing to show for it, everyone decided that he should hold off unless something in the Level 35+ range appeared, lest he hog EXP that could benefit the coalition soldiers.
They kept an eye out for Dungeons as they traveled. Once Elnaril was dead, there should be time to investigate them before the Dragonkin army arrived at the Harpy capital. Going on varied Dungeon Crawls would be the real litmus test of what Lifedrinker deemed a worthwhile opponent.
That was about when the dust settled, leaving Rob without distractions, forcing him to think about what the Skills had revealed.
As much as he wanted to be shocked, what they'd said made a grim sort of sense. It matched the information he'd learned so far. Diplomacy's Elatra – the previous world that had been destroyed by the gods – didn't necessarily need to be the original Elatra. For all Rob knew, it could have been Elatra #10. Just another petri dish in a long line of divine experiments.
Except that things were different this time. According to the Skills, the gods were vulnerable. They'd fucked up somehow. Invested too much of themselves in this particular world. It was easy to imagine why. Success breeds complacency, and if this was Elatra #50 or whatever, then they were on a winning streak that had lasted for longer than Rob could fathom.
What did the Skills say about the gods' leader? That he recognized their mistakes, and wouldn't make them again? Rob grimaced. Should've memorized it with Recall when I had the chance. The specific wording might be important.
Regardless, he was fairly certain that the gods' leader referred to Kismet, if only because that was the one god Rob had met with anything resembling impulse control. Kismet seemed judicious; he would correct the gods' mistakes and prevent them from being this vulnerable in the future.
A dense lump of anxiety formed in Rob's chest as he considered that. Being responsible for the fate of one world was bad enough. Two, if he included Earth. Being responsible for the fate of every world that would be created and tortured in the event of his failure was...
Words couldn't describe it.
When viewed in that light, he understood why the Skills gave him Lifedrinker and all but pushed him to get busy killing. From a utilitarian standpoint, the lives of everyone in Elatra and Earth were not worth the immeasurable amount of suffering that would continue if the gods lived.
Rob grabbed that thought, tied weights around its ankles, and dropped it into a deep lake. I just need to concentrate on one thing at a time, he told himself. First Elnaril, then Ragnavi and Dungeon Crawling, then figure out the gods. It sounds less impossible if I reduce it to a series of steps. Or a hit list. We'll save this world, and we'll do it \my* way, without losing sight of who we are.*
He took comfort in his resolve, although it felt strained. Somehow I doubt this is what Goroth had in mind when he told me I was going to end up making tough decisions. He was probably referring to, like, boring political stuff. Not the fate of multiple worlds and the lives of billions.
Rob sighed. Crap. I...may owe him an apology. Still stand by everything I said, but he was just looking out for me, and I came on pretty strong. Should clear the air with him.
Eventually.
--
Days passed. Rob informed Riardin's Rangers and the Elders about what the Skills revealed. They reacted about as well as him. Nothing changed, technically, yet they were even more cognizant of the price of failure than before.
Thankfully, the coalition hadn't been ambushed by Harpies a second time. Elnaril learned his lesson. He'd either consolidated his remaining forces into the capital city, or they were being sent to fight Dragonkin on the western front. Rob hoped for the latter – it would make seizing the capital way easier. And on a more selfish note, if Harpies needed to die so that Elnaril could be overthrown, he'd rather the Dragonkin be responsible for their deaths than him.
Finally, after a full week of travel, the coalition had almost arrived. They'd be at the capital city tomorrow. Their long journey was coming to its end.
Which meant that Rob was running out of time. There wouldn't be much chance to talk once the invasion of the capital began. He'd been meaning to speak with Goroth, but unfortunately, he'd delegated that responsibility to the part of himself that specialized in procrastination. Whoops.
It was now or never. All he had to do was...step outside his tent. Take initiative. Be a mature, rational adult.
Yup.
...Can't I just go wrestle a Blight instead?
At that moment, a Fiend mage burst inside. "Lord Roy!"
Oh thank god. A reasonable distraction. "What's up?"
"I have a missive from...my group."
The dimension mages. That one sentence caught Rob's attention in an iron grip. "And?" he asked, keeping his expectations in check. He didn't want for hope to swell, only to be dashed against the rocks of reality. "Is it good news?"
"We've made a breakthrough. Before you grow too excited, creating a door remains beyond our capabilities." The mage smiled. "A window, however, is feasible. It would be one-way. The people of Earth could not interact with you, nor you with them. But for a brief period, you would be able to gaze upon your home world."
Rob was already on his feet. "When?"
"Now, if you wish."
He absolutely fucking wished.
​
--
​
Changes, Character Sheet, Skills List
More chapters are available on Patreon.
Thanks for reading!

I'm in my second year as an environmental EIT in consulting. Work is going well and I'm being exposed to a fairly wide variety of projects, even lead planner on a couple in a niche I quickly filled, and I feel like I have a strong future where I am. Before I went back to school and got my degree, I spent a couple years as a county employee, and I liked the dynamic of working for the government (yes, really) and knew I wanted to work for some level of the government long-term. I now have an interview with the state environmental agency lined up this week for a relevant staff engineer position, and I know I have a strong chance of getting an offer due to various reasons. The benefits are great: I would go from three weeks of combined PTO (capped at five) to three weeks of vacation PTO (capped at seven) with a separate three week sick bank plus additional state holidays; my 401k match would spike from 4.25% to 9%; I could pay the minimum on my student loans for ten years and then have them forgiven. I would re-enter a more familiar dynamic, where the client is the public and my support system is the inflexible-but-comprehensive system around me, and I would frankly have an easier workload with less stress and fewer hours. The pay is lower - I won't accept an offer at the bottom end of their range - but if I'm started at the second pay scale tier and I scale my 401k contribution from 15% to 10%, I would take home "only" a few thousand less than now. I would also have to move to an area I like more than my current location and with more affordable housing.
My big worry is, I think I'm seeing more variety and learning more than I would in the state position, and I'm trying to weigh how much that matters for my career. At the end of the day, I want to have more energy to do things I care more about when I come home from work, but I also want to make sure I have a fulfilling career where my responsibilities increase and I grow professionally. I suspect I will never have an inclination to return to consulting, but if I did, would it be harder if most of my experience was in government and maybe in comparatively more limited roles? What if I give into the fantasies (I live in the Midwest) and move out of state? Will I be more hampered in a job search (public or private) with mostly public experience from another state vs. private industry? Any advice on the differences between public and private sector engineering in general and navigating a career within them?

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I 13f I have been abandoned by my mother 50f
Here’s what happened on the 3 of June 2023 my mother got upset whith me so upset that she followed me into our shared bedroom in our house back in our home country (Jamaica) slammed the door and threw me against the wall an chocked me whith her bear hands my grandmother 72f opened the door saw what was going on and pushed my mother out of the way in order to protect me my mother then grabbed my hair (I have box braids in an it really hurts when someone pulls on the from the roots) at the roots and yanked on it hard I then started sobbing and bawling uncontrollably yelling “your crazy your phyco what’s wrong with you” my mother then grabbed one of her really heavy shoes and hit me across the face repeatedly while yelling at my grandmother to let me go and move when she didn’t my mother pulled us to the ground and stomped and kicked at me she did this for over 30 minutes before my step dad and uncle pulled her off my grandma then took me to her room and helped calm me down while my mother was yelling at my uncle to “let her go so she could beat me and get her passport to leave” saying “I dont fucking want that mistake of a child I’m going to leave her sorry ass here” I was a sobbing mess I had been clean if sh for around a year that night I cut my wrist more then ever.
While I was crying and cutting my mother was out drinking and partying she then came back around 4am she left around 11p and when she came back I put all my things in a bag and went to sleep under the bed so she wouldn’t see me and try to suffocate me in my sleep.
Time skip to the next day she was refusing to acknowledge my existence she ignored me all day and when she finally spoke to me she said “I leaving you you’ll be fine you have your sisters number your auntie here and your grandma you’ll be fine” (I am Severely autistic and have adhd anxiety and depression I’m also dealing with an anorexic based problem don’t want to get into)she then got all her things packed her case’s and left me I ran to my grandma crying saying that mama’s leaving me while hugging my stuffed bunny and my phone she hugged me and said that my mother is not leaving me here an that I will go back home i she then left for awhile to ask my mother what was going on but she had already left the house. While my grandma had left to find her I turned around looked in the mirror and saw 7 year old me hugging my stuffy and holding the phone in my hand crying because my mother had left me in the middle of the night while we were on holiday in France.
Skip to rn I’m currently crying in my room on my mother’s bed wondering why she felt the need to leave me here and what I’m gonna do because she took my passport
Anyone have any idea on how I could get back home

Hi 👋🏽. I'm a 21 year old (just turned) Hawaiian/African American. I work in sales for Pepsi, I'm a part time mechanic/soldier, and I'm currently pursuing my BS in Aviation. In my free time I like to work on computers, play video games, work out, read books, [learn to] cook, and dive. (I wanna add working on cars to my hobbie list when I get back when I get back). In late 2022 I decided to join the national guard. I spent the last 7 months in combat and mechanic training. In 15 days I'm going back home to Texas and I'm really excited to get the next chapter of my life started. As I previously stated, I'm trying to get my BS in Aviation and I haven't been able to put much time into while in military training. With that out of the way I'm hoping to find someone to talk to. Mayhaps....
If you're interested in video games I play:
-World of tanks -War Thunder -Apex -Cyber punk -Hell let loose - Halo MCC -and a bunch of other games
If you want to play any with me you are gonna have to wait 2 weeks till I get back home. If you're into any of the other stuff I mentioned shoot me a pm and I'll try and get back to you when I can.

Hi 👋🏽. I'm a 21 year old (just turned) Hawaiian/African American. I work in sales for Pepsi, I'm a part time mechanic/soldier, and I'm currently pursuing my BS in Aviation. In my free time I like to work on computers, play video games, work out, read books, [learn to] cook, and dive. (I wanna add working on cars to my hobbie list when I get back when I get back). In late 2022 I decided to join the national guard. I spent the last 7 months in combat and mechanic training. In 15 days I'm going back home to Texas and I'm really excited to get the next chapter of my life started. As I previously stated, I'm trying to get my BS in Aviation and I haven't been able to put much time into while in military training. With that out of the way I'm hoping to find someone to talk to. Mayhaps....
If you're interested in video games I play:
-World of tanks -War Thunder -Apex -Cyber punk -Hell let loose - Halo MCC -and a bunch of other games
If you want to play any with me you are gonna have to wait 2 weeks till I get back home. If you're into any of the other stuff I mentioned shoot me a pm and I'll try and get back to you when I can.

Hello,
My wife and I will be getting a divorce soon(Indiana, no one has filed yet), and we have a 2 1/2 year old girl. My wife has been wanting to take my daughter this week Monday-Friday and has changed where she is going, and when she is going 3 times now. Now tonight she said she will be keeping her Monday - Sunday without consulting me( I asked her tonight if her plans were still the same, only to find out it's not). She has been out of state the last 3 weekends seeing friends, and has not stayed at our residence since last week. She hasn't spent much time with her at all as well. About 2-3 hours in the last 9 days, by her own choice. She is welcome to stay, as her name is on the mortgage as well as mine. My issue is her changing the amount of time, and places. She wants her to stay at her cousins house with her 2 nights, then to her parents for 3 nights, and then to an unspecified "family event" for another. I don't want to be away from my daughter for that long, and think its unreasonable. She said she has the right to take her for the week, because she is her mother. We both have legal custody, but im wondering if she can remove her for the week without my consent. She previously said she would sign a written agreement for the week, but doesn't seem like she will do that now.
My wife recently had a miscarriage a few weeks ago, and then went to a yoga festival and ate magic mushrooms and had a vision from "god" that said the miscarriage was a sign from god for her to leave me. She also cited a tarot card reading. I dont mind her having time with my daughter, but I dont feel like she should just be able to exercise her will as she sees fit. I have been her primary care giver, and she is most comfortable with me at home. Is she legally able to take her like this without my consent? I want to work with her on it, but she seems to think she has the right to do whatever.
EDIT I would like to add that ive been very worried about my wife since the miscarriages, as she has kind of gone off the rails. She has hurt a lot of people in the last couple of weeks, and has been very irresponsible. Ive documented every interaction ive had with her for the last week or so.
Thanks!

Hi 👋🏽. I'm a 21 year old (just turned) Hawaiian/African American. I work in sales for Pepsi, I'm a part time mechanic/soldier, and I'm currently pursuing my BS in Aviation. In my free time I like to work on computers, play video games, work out, read books, [learn to] cook, and dive. (I wanna add working on cars to my hobbie list when I get back when I get back). In late 2022 I decided to join the national guard. I spent the last 7 months in combat and mechanic training. In 15 days I'm going back home to Texas and I'm really excited to get the next chapter of my life started. As I previously stated, I'm trying to get my BS in Aviation and I haven't been able to put much time into while in military training. With that out of the way I'm hoping to find someone to talk to. Mayhaps.... 

If you're interested in video games I play:
-World of tanks -War Thunder -Apex -Cyber punk -Hell let loose - Halo MCC -and a bunch of other games
If you want to play any with me you are gonna have to wait 2 weeks till I get back home. If you're into any of the other stuff I mentioned shoot me a pm and I'll try and get back to you when I can.

If you are interested in Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us at +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency.
Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste agency is the latest course by Iman Gadzhi.
Copy Paste Agency is designed for established agency owners, who can use these lessons to scale their business.
In Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency, you will learn:

• How to continue to run a multiple-six-figure agency from home with a skeleton staff and minimal expenses
  
• How to command higher retainers… and retain those clients for longer
  
• How to automate, delegate, and optimize every area of your agency from lead generation and sales to service delivery and client communication
  

To get Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/CourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

If you are interested in Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us at +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency.
Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste agency is the latest course by Iman Gadzhi.
Copy Paste Agency is designed for established agency owners, who can use these lessons to scale their business.
In Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency, you will learn:

• How to continue to run a multiple-six-figure agency from home with a skeleton staff and minimal expenses
  
• How to command higher retainers… and retain those clients for longer
  
• How to automate, delegate, and optimize every area of your agency from lead generation and sales to service delivery and client communication
  

To get Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

We keep next to no cash in the till because of frequent robberies.
Every $100 profit into the till triggers an optional cashdrop by the system POS ( point of sale, the computer ), however, breaking your 100's fucks everything up.
The entire line has to stop dead while my manager tucks under the desk. I have to keep the till open with the hundred dollar bill in my hand. She counts up 100 in 20's, sometimes less to break odd change, and takes the 100. We have to notate everytime this happens.
This happens at least six times within a lunch period. My manager is far too nice to ban this. When I worked in a small town it made a little sense, some folks are paid cash for obvious reasons. However, these are mostly 100's from influencer flexxers. Working in a city in the food industry fucking sucks.
The worst folks come in after my manager has returned home, because our regional manager is trying to force us to break 100's without getting access to the safe with all the 20's. So we count out your $85+ of change in fives and ones. Now we're outta ones.
And it's your goddamn fault.
We served 347 people from lunch to dinner rush today. From now till closing we're borked on cash transactions. People get to shout at ME, like IM the fucker who blew out our till.
We already cant take coupons because corporate declared they'd no longer reimburse the difference of the coupon. They just expected all stores in the region to take a quarter off of their profits and be fine with that. This already sucks. My pay went down two dollars an hour and now we have a tip jar.
I hate it here.
It's not your total fault, asshole who only pays in 100's to flex. But you're apart of the problem. And half of the 1's we had to use to break your hundred were from a stripper.

My parents live 1200 miles away in Wisconsin. They had been unhappily paying for a sub-par local WISP, but besides starlink, it’s the only game in town.
I visited recently and took a look at the TMO 5G coverage map and suggested they give TMHI a spin. I didn’t expect it to work, but I was willing to help and there was little downside.
So, they brought the new Sagemcom device home, plugged it in and got a Weak signal that worked sporadically. That’s not surprising since the tower they connect to is 15 miles away across a lake.
I had to head back home, but before I did, I got them set up with the Waveform 2x line of sight antennas. I figured it was worth a shot and we could return it all if it didn’t work.
The antennas improved the situation dramatically - they got Fair to Good connections and 100+mbps speeds with the antennas indoors, even. It still wasn’t rock solid reliable but it was much more usable than their previous ISP.
Without warning a few days ago, the trash can suddenly started showing the WAN002 error - it’s been rebooted and reset numerous times. I had them put the external antennas temporarily outside (didn’t want to mount anything without knowing how likely it is to work) and when they do it says it has “Very Good” signal strength on boot before going back to showing WAN002 error again.
If you search that error, explanations have ranged from tower maintenance, to bad firmware, to fried trash cans, and SIM card issues. Short of having them disassemble the trash can and remove the external antenna wires so they can exchange it, is there anything else I should have them try?

When it comes to managing payroll for distributed teams, holidays and vacation time can indeed add a layer of complexity. This is primarily due to the differences in national and public holidays, vacation policies, and labor regulations across various countries or regions where your team members reside.

1. Different Public Holidays: Countries around the world have different public holidays. If your company policy is to pay employees for these days, it can be a challenging task to keep track of all the varying holidays and ensure that employees are correctly compensated. One way to manage this might be to set a standard number of paid holidays for all employees, regardless of location, or to adhere to the public holiday schedule of the company's home country. However, you'll need to ensure such policies comply with local labor laws.
2. Vacation Policies: Similarly, vacation policies can differ significantly between countries. Some countries mandate a minimum number of vacation days per year, while others leave it up to the discretion of the employer. As a result, your payroll management system needs to be flexible enough to account for these differences. Again, compliance with local laws is paramount.
3. Tracking Time Off: Accurately tracking time off is crucial for managing payroll in a distributed team. Various software solutions allow employees to log their vacation days, which can be automatically factored into the payroll system.
4. Leave Encashment: In some companies and jurisdictions, employees have the option to 'encash' their unused vacation days at the end of the year. Your payroll system should be equipped to handle such transactions if applicable.
5. Overtime and Holiday Pay: Certain jurisdictions require higher rates of pay for work done on holidays or beyond regular working hours. Your payroll system needs to account for these different rates and apply them correctly.

To effectively manage these aspects, companies often turn to robust payroll software or third-party payroll service providers, which can handle the intricacies of international payroll, including variations in holidays and vacation time.

If you are interested in Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us at +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency.
Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste agency is the latest course by Iman Gadzhi.
Copy Paste Agency is designed for established agency owners, who can use these lessons to scale their business.
In Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency, you will learn:

• How to continue to run a multiple-six-figure agency from home with a skeleton staff and minimal expenses
  
• How to command higher retainers… and retain those clients for longer
  
• How to automate, delegate, and optimize every area of your agency from lead generation and sales to service delivery and client communication
  

To get Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/CourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

If you are interested in Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us at +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency.
Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste agency is the latest course by Iman Gadzhi.
Copy Paste Agency is designed for established agency owners, who can use these lessons to scale their business.
In Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency, you will learn:

• How to continue to run a multiple-six-figure agency from home with a skeleton staff and minimal expenses
  
• How to command higher retainers… and retain those clients for longer
  
• How to automate, delegate, and optimize every area of your agency from lead generation and sales to service delivery and client communication
  

To get Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/RequestCourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)

If you are interested in Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us at +44 759 388 2116 on Telegram/Whatsapp.
I have Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency.
Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste agency is the latest course by Iman Gadzhi.
Copy Paste Agency is designed for established agency owners, who can use these lessons to scale their business.
In Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency, you will learn:

• How to continue to run a multiple-six-figure agency from home with a skeleton staff and minimal expenses
  
• How to command higher retainers… and retain those clients for longer
  
• How to automate, delegate, and optimize every area of your agency from lead generation and sales to service delivery and client communication
  

To get Iman Gadzhi – Copy Paste Agency contact us on:
Whatsapp/Telegram: +44 759 388 2116 (Telegram: multistorecourses)
Reddit DM to u/CourseAccess
Email: silverlakestore[@]yandex.com (remove the brackets)