Blueface chrisean rock sex tape

So, I kinda created a song .
Its troll but the lyric are strangely good so if any of y'all want to have a blast and write a verse or something, have fun !
*calm / romantic Moosic*
After the match I felt strange
I said
I was
going to change
You came with me
And then soon we entered the room…
*rock music enters*
You dropped the soap
Filled with hope
I grabbed the rope
I fill your boat
*Refrain (hard rock style)*
Gay sex on the bathroom floor
Never enough to fill my hole
The floor is wet I see your silhouette
You love taking my pole
With you it’s never dull
percussion
We fought We try
The thought The lie

Throwaway account, as i don't want this connected to my other accounts.
My thoughts are erratic, forgive me for bouncing all over the point but I'm trying to include everything I've been thinking and feeling with my reasoning so please bear with me. Gonna be a long one. If you take the time to read all this and provide genuine, thoughtful feedback, know that I'm beyond appreciative.
I had my first child at 19, and his mother and I didn't stay together. He was given a hyphenated combination of our last names, and now all these years later his mother is engaged to another man with their own newborn, and my son calls said man "his other daddy". I understand that as even though i am active in my son's life, my own dad wasn't around and i ended up calling my temporary step-dad "daddy" for a period of time. My son's mom and her fiancé of course have been living together for a while so i don't see anything wrong with that, nor am i bothered by it as long as my son and Mr. Fiancé don't forget who his actual father is.
All that to say that this has led to me being unwilling to have my other children calling another man "daddy", which is one of a few reasons making me feel like i have to stay in my current relationship and eventually tie the knot with my girlfriend - even if i am currently unhappy more often than not and feel as if marriage would be dooming myself to a life of tolerance rather than contentment.
I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Before I talk (or complain) about everything I'm unhappy about, I'd like to make it known that I've been 10 relationships before my current one, and i ended 8 of them with 2 of them ended by the girl- much to my chagrin. Those 2 had a pretty big impact on me but not as much as 2 that i ended due to being cheated on. The rest I ended i guess out of boredom? This made me feel as if I wasn't cut out for relationships and I should be alone, but then I end up lonely wanting a relationship. I ended one relationship with a cheater right before the relationship that gave me my firstborn. I never took the time to heal from that and I wasn't ready for a child at the time, so even though i love my son and have always been active in his life, i never thought his mother and I would have a longstanding relationship.
We separated and then i met and began a relationship with the second cheater. At the time I was 21 and she was 33, but i could've swore she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Thing was, she was still living with her ex and I'm sure you can imagine how that went. That whole relationship left me feeling emasculated.
I left that relationship and began a relationship with my current girlfriend not even 3 months later. Needless to say I did no healing, took no time for myself. To make things worse we moved in together within another 3 months, and she found out she was pregnant by the end of the year.
I was actually perfectly content with my only child and had no desire to sire another child at this point in time, but my girlfriend had gotten pregnant in her previous relationship and ended up losing the baby, so her baby fever was at an all time high and she would get depressed whenever we would have sex and I'd cum anywhere other than inside of her. She'd roll over and put her back to me and sulk about it until she went to sleep, sometimes even crying about it. This made me feel Tee-totally terrible so I eventually just 🤷🏾‍♂️ and started finishing inside her to give her the child she wanted. This pregnancy gave me my daughter and I love her to death, she's amazing. We were staying in an apartment complex with roommates, but after finding out she was pregnant we went to stay with her mom. I broke up with her after welcoming the baby due to feelings of discontentment, although we got together again a few months later.
We got our own place and stayed there about a year and a half before I broke up with her again because i felt like i just wasn't the man for her. I told her i didn't want to marry and i don't want anymore kids, mainly just to drive the point as these are things she wants. We separated for 3 or 4 months this time, in which period of time I had sex once with an ex and she had sex once with a coworker. Despite that, we got back together because i had "thought about it" and decided that i didn't mind marrying and having more children. Fast forward a year and we moved to a better home and welcomed our second child together, my 3rd child and 2nd son.
I've thought about and pretty much accepted the concept/fate of marrying my girlfriend. She's been insistent bordering on impatient which I understand. This last time we got back together I told her we'd be wed before our son got here, which was rash on my part. I rush a lot of things but marriage isn't one of them.
I don't know if it's because my girlfriend is the partner in question, but marriage just feels like a huge shackle to me and divorce is a hassle from what I've heard. I don't want to marry just for it to be unhappy and end up in divorce.
Back to: I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Here comes the complaining.
I'm an introvert, through and through. I like reading books, i like quiet time, i enjoy having time to myself, I enjoy doing/accomplishing things alone.
My girlfriend has to be the antithesis. She can talk on and on and on for hours on end without nary a breath in between. This isn't as much of an issue as the subject of her conversation- most of the time, there isn't one. It's like 95% of her thoughts come out of her mouth and she expects me to reply and vividly react to it all. It's really kind of draining. I get that as the man i should be glad that I'm the one she's talking to, but sometimes I'd rather enjoy the song that's playing or just have time alone with my thoughts. So most of her dialogue has no real meaning to me, and she often talks/asks questions about things that would be clear to her with just a little observation on her end. A little thought. She's so busy spitting out that 95% thought that she can't use the remaining 5 to come to her own conclusions.
For example, we're riding in the car. It's sunny outside, yet starts to rain. She says, "The devil must be beating his wife". I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because what kind of sense does that make? She says, "What you've never heard that?" No, because it doesn't make sense. The devil is in theory beneath us so even if he did have a wife and beat her, why would these tears be coming from the sky? Perhaps I'm just a dull rock and too analytical but i feel like we could've both saved our breath on that whole exchange.
Another example. We went to eat, i got a coke to go. It was riding in the front cup holder until i finished it, and threw the empty cup into the trash. A whole ten, fifteen minutes later she asks, "Did you finish your coke?" I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because are you telling me you didn't see me throw it away while you're right beside me? Do you not see the empty cup holder? I say yea, to which she asks me to hand her her water bottle. I just feel as if she could've taken the time to do some looking and thinking on her own, and just ask me for her water.
We're driving with a gps, she says that she needs me to help her because she doesn't know if it's this exit or the next one. 😐 idk if i can do this for the rest of my life. The route is highlighted on the screen, instead of oh so many feet, the distance is point something miles, and the exit number is on the screen. I tell her to think about it. She takes the wrong exit and gets mad at me.
Other times she is literally just voicing her inner dialogue like "I want a coke", "I'm hot, need to turn on the air", "My head is itching" and she just looks at me waiting for me to say something when I feel like none of this really warrants a reply. I hate small talk but maybe I'm just a stick in the mud.
She asks for help ridiculously often when she doesn't really need any. She could do things on her own most of the time just by freeing up one of her hands or literally thinking about the issue more. She probably tells me "hold this" 15 to 93 times a day. Just put it down? We were eating chinese takeout one night, and with a table right in front of her, she tells me to hold her plate. You know they give you enough food to feed a small village in those flimsy ass trays so the styrofoam bends and she drops her plate on my legs and in the floor before i can get a hold of it. I can't tell you how many times she's asked me for help with something that literally has instructions on it; she just didn't take the time to read it. I point it out and she's like "Oh 😜". It's gotten to the point where other than "think about it", when she asks for help i ask "do you really" and when i feel like she doesn't i resort to a childhood saying of my mother: "USE YOUR NOODLE! And when you're done with your noodle, put it back in your soup and finish your dinner".
To sum these points up, my pride doesn't want my kids acknowledging yet another dad, my girlfriend spits faster than Eminem when I'm a quiet guy, and her problem solving skills are near nonexistent when I'm a self-dependent, figure it out type of guy. I guess these personality differences might stem from our upbringing, as she was raised in a volatile home with her brother, bouncing between her mother and grandmother who both talk just as much as she, while i was raised alone with my mother who also enjoyed quiet time and liked reading and such. BUT-
In addition to this, I don't feel like my girlfriend and I are as sexually compatible as we could be. Our preferences and things we want aren't that different, but i have a much broader taste than she does and I don't ever think I'll achieve sexual freedom with her. I know that some of my fantasies are off the table for her, and others I'm too ashamed to even open up about due to what she's made clear of her stance. She doesn't like the lights on during, she doesn't like eye contact, she isn't very vocal. I wanna see her, look her in the eye, when i talk to her she doesn't talk back and doesn't mention it till we're done. These differences probably come from our experience and lack of with porn and sexual partners. I think I'm her third or fourth relationship. The guy before me she was with for 5 years. I started watching porn at 12 or 13, was running a NSFW tumblr page before tumblr stopped being cool, regularly masturbated. I don't think my girlfriend ever really touched herself before me, and the only time i know of her masturbating was to send me a video like 2 years ago. I want more from out sex life but trying to bring it up is met with mild disgust before rejection. Ideally I want my partner to want to masturbate sometimes, for us both to have toys, for us to explore with ourselves and other people and explore our fantasies. My girlfriend doesn't even have any. This makes me reluctant to marry because I don't wanna give up on all of this without having experienced it.
On top of this is her style of living. Bathroom sink and tub full of hair. Throwing something away- KOBE! -she misses and doesn't pick it up. Preparing food and leaving the scraps and trash on the counter for roaches, rats and ants, i can't stand it. Her side of the bed looks like the empty water bottle monster threw up and she loves to eat before bed but rarely takes her dishes to the kitchen before sleeping, and just throws her trash in the general direction of the can without bothering to just lean over and place it in or at least see if she made it. I'll say something and she'll do better for 2 days and a half, then i feel like i wasted my words. 8 used wash rags left in the shower, not flushing the toilet, she just really kinda sucks at cleaning up after herself until the stars align or mercury is in retrograde or some divine intervention where she wants to do everything in a day. She's a manager at McD's now so she's working a bit more, but she used to be a server with multiple off days through the week while I've had the same job for 6 years working 6 days out the week from 7a-3p, sometimes working 3-3 or 7-7 and it's frustrating to come home with her having laid on the couch all day amidst a house that a torndado ran through. Then when I get home she wants us to clean together, nah I'm tryna sit down somewhere. I still help pickup but why could you not do this in the 10, 12 hours i was gone? At least start on it and i can come in with the assist like an alley-oop.
To top it off is her style of parenting/communication. Her dad is a loud man and he's to thank for the genes I guess, but she's quick to resort to yelling whenever things bother her or the kids don't listen, as if the louder you are the easier it is to understand. Like I said I'm a quiet guy and i consider myself rational so i like to slow down and calmly talk about things, talk to kids with a level head and tone when they're wrong and talk to her in a calm tone whenever we have any altercations. She normally beats me to the punch with child reprimands since those thoughts have been bubbling in her mouth, and i don't like the yelling at all. After she gets done yelling I'll usually come behind to tell the kids what went wrong and why it was/why they shouldn't do that. But due to my level-headedness she sees that as me not caring, and when i ask her to calm her tone she says it's just how she reacts when upset. The kids act drastically different when they're alone with me versus alone with her, going from minding to whiny/crying whenever she gets to yelling.
Besides the yelling and too high expectations for small children, i do think she's a good mom, i just wish she'd handle things differently sometimes.
To sum these points up, I'm worried about sexual fulfillment, cleanliness (having to pick up after 3 kids and an adult), and temperament/attitude once married.
I know these things take effort but I feel like she just isn't as conscious about it as I am, and when i try to explain why i think she could/should do things differently/more efficiently, she takes it as me criticizing her and belittling her. It feels like I'm in a relationship with a child sometimes as far as her tendencies go.
Is marriage really the best option? Should we spend some time apart or end things for good?
Despite all of this we don't have a bad 1 on 1 relationship, when it's good it's great but when it's bad i can't help but wonder. I get pensive. Is marriage the best course of action for my life, for her life, for our kids? Would we all be able to grow and develop better with mom and dad separated? Is there someone better for me, someone better for her out there?
I've already gotten the supplies I had in mind ready to propose to her in a way she would love and i am happy with, i just have yet to buy a ring. It's a huge commitment that i don't want to end in disaster and resentment.

Throwaway account, as i don't want this connected to my other accounts.
My thoughts are erratic, forgive me for bouncing all over the point but I'm trying to include everything I've been thinking and feeling with my reasoning so please bear with me. Gonna be a long one. If you take the time to read all this and provide genuine, thoughtful feedback, know that I'm beyond appreciative.
I had my first child at 19, and his mother and I didn't stay together. He was given a hyphenated combination of our last names, and now all these years later his mother is engaged to another man with their own newborn, and my son calls said man "his other daddy". I understand that as even though i am active in my son's life, my own dad wasn't around and i ended up calling my temporary step-dad "daddy" for a period of time. My son's mom and her fiancé of course have been living together for a while so i don't see anything wrong with that, nor am i bothered by it as long as my son and Mr. Fiancé don't forget who his actual father is.
All that to say that this has led to me being unwilling to have my other children calling another man "daddy", which is one of a few reasons making me feel like i have to stay in my current relationship and eventually tie the knot with my girlfriend - even if i am currently unhappy more often than not and feel as if marriage would be dooming myself to a life of tolerance rather than contentment.
I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Before I talk (or complain) about everything I'm unhappy about, I'd like to make it known that I've been 10 relationships before my current one, and i ended 8 of them with 2 of them ended by the girl- much to my chagrin. Those 2 had a pretty big impact on me but not as much as 2 that i ended due to being cheated on. The rest I ended i guess out of boredom? This made me feel as if I wasn't cut out for relationships and I should be alone, but then I end up lonely wanting a relationship. I ended one relationship with a cheater right before the relationship that gave me my firstborn. I never took the time to heal from that and I wasn't ready for a child at the time, so even though i love my son and have always been active in his life, i never thought his mother and I would have a longstanding relationship.
We separated and then i met and began a relationship with the second cheater. At the time I was 21 and she was 33, but i could've swore she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Thing was, she was still living with her ex and I'm sure you can imagine how that went. That whole relationship left me feeling emasculated.
I left that relationship and began a relationship with my current girlfriend not even 3 months later. Needless to say I did no healing, took no time for myself. To make things worse we moved in together within another 3 months, and she found out she was pregnant by the end of the year.
I was actually perfectly content with my only child and had no desire to sire another child at this point in time, but my girlfriend had gotten pregnant in her previous relationship and ended up losing the baby, so her baby fever was at an all time high and she would get depressed whenever we would have sex and I'd cum anywhere other than inside of her. She'd roll over and put her back to me and sulk about it until she went to sleep, sometimes even crying about it. This made me feel Tee-totally terrible so I eventually just 🤷🏾‍♂️ and started finishing inside her to give her the child she wanted. This pregnancy gave me my daughter and I love her to death, she's amazing. We were staying in an apartment complex with roommates, but after finding out she was pregnant we went to stay with her mom. I broke up with her after welcoming the baby due to feelings of discontentment, although we got together again a few months later.
We got our own place and stayed there about a year and a half before I broke up with her again because i felt like i just wasn't the man for her. I told her i didn't want to marry and i don't want anymore kids, mainly just to drive the point as these are things she wants. We separated for 3 or 4 months this time, in which period of time I had sex once with an ex and she had sex once with a coworker. Despite that, we got back together because i had "thought about it" and decided that i didn't mind marrying and having more children. Fast forward a year and we moved to a better home and welcomed our second child together, my 3rd child and 2nd son.
I've thought about and pretty much accepted the concept/fate of marrying my girlfriend. She's been insistent bordering on impatient which I understand. This last time we got back together I told her we'd be wed before our son got here, which was rash on my part. I rush a lot of things but marriage isn't one of them.
I don't know if it's because my girlfriend is the partner in question, but marriage just feels like a huge shackle to me and divorce is a hassle from what I've heard. I don't want to marry just for it to be unhappy and end up in divorce.
Back to: I feel like my current girlfriend is a great person, friend and mother, but many of her tendencies and thought processes tend to irk/frustrate me. I know no one is perfect and any relationship requires work and effort, but I can't help but feel as if there would be someone out there better suited for myself, or if I would just be better off alone.
Here comes the complaining.
I'm an introvert, through and through. I like reading books, i like quiet time, i enjoy having time to myself, I enjoy doing/accomplishing things alone.
My girlfriend has to be the antithesis. She can talk on and on and on for hours on end without nary a breath in between. This isn't as much of an issue as the subject of her conversation- most of the time, there isn't one. It's like 95% of her thoughts come out of her mouth and she expects me to reply and vividly react to it all. It's really kind of draining. I get that as the man i should be glad that I'm the one she's talking to, but sometimes I'd rather enjoy the song that's playing or just have time alone with my thoughts. So most of her dialogue has no real meaning to me, and she often talks/asks questions about things that would be clear to her with just a little observation on her end. A little thought. She's so busy spitting out that 95% thought that she can't use the remaining 5 to come to her own conclusions.
For example, we're riding in the car. It's sunny outside, yet starts to rain. She says, "The devil must be beating his wife". I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because what kind of sense does that make? She says, "What you've never heard that?" No, because it doesn't make sense. The devil is in theory beneath us so even if he did have a wife and beat her, why would these tears be coming from the sky? Perhaps I'm just a dull rock and too analytical but i feel like we could've both saved our breath on that whole exchange.
Another example. We went to eat, i got a coke to go. It was riding in the front cup holder until i finished it, and threw the empty cup into the trash. A whole ten, fifteen minutes later she asks, "Did you finish your coke?" I just look at her like 😐 while internally doing the wtf Jackie Chan face because are you telling me you didn't see me throw it away while you're right beside me? Do you not see the empty cup holder? I say yea, to which she asks me to hand her her water bottle. I just feel as if she could've taken the time to do some looking and thinking on her own, and just ask me for her water.
We're driving with a gps, she says that she needs me to help her because she doesn't know if it's this exit or the next one. 😐 idk if i can do this for the rest of my life. The route is highlighted on the screen, instead of oh so many feet, the distance is point something miles, and the exit number is on the screen. I tell her to think about it. She takes the wrong exit and gets mad at me.
Other times she is literally just voicing her inner dialogue like "I want a coke", "I'm hot, need to turn on the air", "My head is itching" and she just looks at me waiting for me to say something when I feel like none of this really warrants a reply. I hate small talk but maybe I'm just a stick in the mud.
She asks for help ridiculously often when she doesn't really need any. She could do things on her own most of the time just by freeing up one of her hands or literally thinking about the issue more. She probably tells me "hold this" 15 to 93 times a day. Just put it down? We were eating chinese takeout one night, and with a table right in front of her, she tells me to hold her plate. You know they give you enough food to feed a small village in those flimsy ass trays so the styrofoam bends and she drops her plate on my legs and in the floor before i can get a hold of it. I can't tell you how many times she's asked me for help with something that literally has instructions on it; she just didn't take the time to read it. I point it out and she's like "Oh 😜". It's gotten to the point where other than "think about it", when she asks for help i ask "do you really" and when i feel like she doesn't i resort to a childhood saying of my mother: "USE YOUR NOODLE! And when you're done with your noodle, put it back in your soup and finish your dinner".
To sum these points up, my pride doesn't want my kids acknowledging yet another dad, my girlfriend spits faster than Eminem when I'm a quiet guy, and her problem solving skills are near nonexistent when I'm a self-dependent, figure it out type of guy. I guess these personality differences might stem from our upbringing, as she was raised in a volatile home with her brother, bouncing between her mother and grandmother who both talk just as much as she, while i was raised alone with my mother who also enjoyed quiet time and liked reading and such. BUT-
In addition to this, I don't feel like my girlfriend and I are as sexually compatible as we could be. Our preferences and things we want aren't that different, but i have a much broader taste than she does and I don't ever think I'll achieve sexual freedom with her. I know that some of my fantasies are off the table for her, and others I'm too ashamed to even open up about due to what she's made clear of her stance. She doesn't like the lights on during, she doesn't like eye contact, she isn't very vocal. I wanna see her, look her in the eye, when i talk to her she doesn't talk back and doesn't mention it till we're done. These differences probably come from our experience and lack of with porn and sexual partners. I think I'm her third or fourth relationship. The guy before me she was with for 5 years. I started watching porn at 12 or 13, was running a NSFW tumblr page before tumblr stopped being cool, regularly masturbated. I don't think my girlfriend ever really touched herself before me, and the only time i know of her masturbating was to send me a video like 2 years ago. I want more from out sex life but trying to bring it up is met with mild disgust before rejection. Ideally I want my partner to want to masturbate sometimes, for us both to have toys, for us to explore with ourselves and other people and explore our fantasies. My girlfriend doesn't even have any. This makes me reluctant to marry because I don't wanna give up on all of this without having experienced it.
On top of this is her style of living. Bathroom sink and tub full of hair. Throwing something away- KOBE! -she misses and doesn't pick it up. Preparing food and leaving the scraps and trash on the counter for roaches, rats and ants, i can't stand it. Her side of the bed looks like the empty water bottle monster threw up and she loves to eat before bed but rarely takes her dishes to the kitchen before sleeping, and just throws her trash in the general direction of the can without bothering to just lean over and place it in or at least see if she made it. I'll say something and she'll do better for 2 days and a half, then i feel like i wasted my words. 8 used wash rags left in the shower, not flushing the toilet, she just really kinda sucks at cleaning up after herself until the stars align or mercury is in retrograde or some divine intervention where she wants to do everything in a day. She's a manager at McD's now so she's working a bit more, but she used to be a server with multiple off days through the week while I've had the same job for 6 years working 6 days out the week from 7a-3p, sometimes working 3-3 or 7-7 and it's frustrating to come home with her having laid on the couch all day amidst a house that a torndado ran through. Then when I get home she wants us to clean together, nah I'm tryna sit down somewhere. I still help pickup but why could you not do this in the 10, 12 hours i was gone? At least start on it and i can come in with the assist like an alley-oop.
To top it off is her style of parenting/communication. Her dad is a loud man and he's to thank for the genes I guess, but she's quick to resort to yelling whenever things bother her or the kids don't listen, as if the louder you are the easier it is to understand. Like I said I'm a quiet guy and i consider myself rational so i like to slow down and calmly talk about things, talk to kids with a level head and tone when they're wrong and talk to her in a calm tone whenever we have any altercations. She normally beats me to the punch with child reprimands since those thoughts have been bubbling in her mouth, and i don't like the yelling at all. After she gets done yelling I'll usually come behind to tell the kids what went wrong and why it was/why they shouldn't do that. But due to my level-headedness she sees that as me not caring, and when i ask her to calm her tone she says it's just how she reacts when upset. The kids act drastically different when they're alone with me versus alone with her, going from minding to whiny/crying whenever she gets to yelling.
Besides the yelling and too high expectations for small children, i do think she's a good mom, i just wish she'd handle things differently sometimes.
To sum these points up, I'm worried about sexual fulfillment, cleanliness (having to pick up after 3 kids and an adult), and temperament/attitude once married.
I know these things take effort but I feel like she just isn't as conscious about it as I am, and when i try to explain why i think she could/should do things differently/more efficiently, she takes it as me criticizing her and belittling her. It feels like I'm in a relationship with a child sometimes as far as her tendencies go.
Is marriage really the best option? Should we spend some time apart or end things for good?
Despite all of this we don't have a bad 1 on 1 relationship, when it's good it's great but when it's bad i can't help but wonder. I get pensive. Is marriage the best course of action for my life, for her life, for our kids? Would we all be able to grow and develop better with mom and dad separated? Is there someone better for me, someone better for her out there?
I've already gotten the supplies I had in mind ready to propose to her in a way she would love and i am happy with, i just have yet to buy a ring. It's a huge commitment that i don't want to end in disaster and resentment.
Sorry for the book. Thoughts/advice greatly appreciated.

https://starporns18.info/yhemolee-with-girlfriends-new-sex-tape/

I (HL 30 M)believe I’ve fallen out of, or am falling out of love with my wife. I suspect she feels very much the same way as me, but won’t admit it. We both certainly love one another, but seemingly more as friends. Been together since high school where we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, we’d be fooling around every chance we got, even in risky situations because we were both so damn horny all the time. Very religious, so no p in v intercourse prior to marriage, and it was like the day we got married she lost interest. We’ve had on and off decent sex for a lot of our 9 year marriage, but I anticipated frequent, much more than normal, sex. Once a week for the first several years was about it when things were good, and it was pretty forced feeling a lot of the time. We collectively blamed birth control and I sucked it up until she got an IUD. Things gradually went even more downhill after that for our sex life, despite my hope that it would improve. Once we knew we didn’t want kids, I went and got a vasectomy so she could go completely off BC and hopefully nip this in the bud once and for all, but we’ve had sex probably fewer than ten times since my vasectomy in November. I had to masturbate an uncomfortable amount to ensure I was clearing out the pipes after the operation.
Lately I’ve been realizing I need help with my mental health and have been in therapy. She did this a couple years ago and has been on some medications, including one that’s supposed to increase her libido. It hasn’t. I’m still pretty high libido despite my depression, and a few weeks back I was having a pretty significant mental health episode and in my semi coherent ramblings through sobs I reminded her we hadn’t had sex in a month, and another month before the last time. She said she’s been afraid to initiate because she feels I need space, which I denied and said I need intimacy.
Well, I didn’t kill myself and it’s been three weeks and the only sex we had was while tripping on mushrooms and because it was planned. She very easily could have pretended to forget and we never would have had I not forced the issue a little bit. Since then, I haven’t even bothered. I’m realizing that I have initiated sex about 9.5/10 times since we married, and she always seems to initiate (mind you this is like maybe every couple months) on nights when I’m very obviously exhausted from something or having a bout of negative emotions. Hard to say It’s on purpose, but it feels awfully convenient.
I’ve reached the point where I just don’t even want to have sex with her anymore. I don’t want to masturbate or have sex with anyone else, either, but I still have this libido that isn’t going away. I’m not asking for advice. I’m not going to cheat on my wife, so miss me with that. Just need to vent because I’ve never talked about my sex life with anyone besides my wife, and those conversations are usually short.
She mentioned recently she wants to go to couples therapy, but in not even sure it’s worth it at this point. We don’t have kids, but she’s the only woman I’ve ever known and really been with. I don’t see a life for me after her, but I think I resent her too much to repair this. I feel so frustrated, we’ve both deconstructed our faith and have branched out to things we wouldn’t have done prior, like smoking weed, taking mushrooms, etc. It feels like she is flourishing and I’m floundering with this change in our lives. She’s now dancing at a pole gym and making new hobbies and friends, I’m burning all my social bridges and becoming a hermit. There’s obviously a lot more wrong here than our sex life, and it’s probably a symptom of some other problem, but I also feel it is a significant factor in our relationship tension. I just wish I understood why she doesn’t feel desire anymore like she used to. It changed seemingly overnight. I’ve even lost weight and am rocking a pretty good body, I’ve put in hundreds of ours at the gym to get my abs back and look good, just hoping she’d be complimenting me and touching my body and stuff, but she hasn’t even said I look nice. I feel really shitty and undesirable. I want the girl I fell in love with back, the one who couldn’t get enough of me and my body. Now I’m the only person who sees me naked, or even shirtless. Maybe I’ll have a breakthrough in therapy or one of our conversations will be constructive, but idk this point. I feel like I’ve put up with it for so long and despite so many efforts, this resentment I feel will never fully fade. I genuinely think I’ll never be truly happy again.

I'm not even joking. Ever since White Boy Summer became a thing in 2021, I have found myself every spring looking forward to summer that much more. That's because White Boy Summer never died.
Summer already rocks and always has, but now I feel like it's the ultimate dude season. Sit on the porch, crack a beer, listen to the Allman Bros? That's White Boy Summer. Go for a 25 mile run and throw up your breakfast? That's White Boy Summer too. So is shooting an Uzi in your backyard in Kentucky, and so is grabbing a smoothie and hitting the skate park in L.A.
After being shamed for their sex and race for however many years, WBS taught white boys that it's okay to be white boys, because it's not even really ABOUT white boys. You don't even have to be white or a boy to take part: you just need to have the spirit in you. It's the opposite of everything shitlib, the whiplash reaction to the news hectoring us about everything wrong in the world, the apoptosis of division and strife. Just be yourself, be proud of who you are, chill out, and have fun.
Here's to the third White Boy Summer. May there be many more to come.

I know he has this app so I wont be saying age or names but we will call him kevin. Kevin was at my house on Sunday along with some of my other friends. I ran upstairs to grab a snack and when I got back he casually mentioned he had a video of us. I didnt believe him until he showed me. He has 4 videos from different times. On one of the videos, I asked him what he was doing and he said he just took a picture of the ceiling. So he lied to me for one and for two, he took a literal video of us without me knowing and without my consent. I didnt tell him to delete because i hate saying no to people but now im really regretting that. Should I break up with him over this?

I want to be clear I am not saying all women are like this or are bad people. Let me tell you what I mean specifically here. As a man who never really interacted with women that much and lived his under a rock his own life I became a gullible person. But I never was into redpill or Andrew Tate so I never developed a unhealthy mindset of women. The only kind of women I meet are the ones online and boy they have had a stronger factor in shaping my perspective on women than any of the redpill content I watched and it's not positive at all. First is the apathy and reluctance to understand men's insecurities. I have seen women on relationship advice shaming men for being concerned about his wife clubbing till 4 am and telling him people cheat in all kinds of place not just clubs. In another post the women are like maybe she just enjoys taking her wedding ring off cause blah. I have even read a feminist article about women who was had affair with a man and demands and expects sympathy from friends and downplays the emotional damage cheating has. I have seen women here defending the separation of sex and romance without understanding our fears about how it will affect romantic culture. Honestly the biggest problem about these women, is their inability to acknowledge there are different world views not everyone is hyper focused on the individual capacity to perform a certain behavior without judgment maybe there is something else we care about. No they won't acknowledge that like at all. I recommend redpillers and young impressionable men like me leave these subreddits and meet healthy women. I am sure not every women is pushing hookup culture but I don't think they are here. These women on the internet are making me think women are nothing but cheaters who only care about sex and only get into relationships with "safe" men. But thankfully I am trying to meet real women who are not like the women on here so I think I will get better. But I really the women her are dangerous to impressionable young men who don't have much experience with women.

My pre-teen absolutely loved it. We are pretty liberal with what they can watch - no explicit sex but innuendo/jokes are fine. Violence like star wars, marvel is fine (not-realistic, element of the fantastical) but nothing intensely violent and realistic.
We're trying to figure out what series to start next. We have a roster of movies lined up but we love having a series where we can watch an episode or two before bed. 30 Rock was a bit dated for them (I still love it but a lot of the jokes went over their head). I'd love any ideas/recommendations.