I purchased a 2022 Honda Civic from a dealership in Southern California last March. I live in Norther California so I have been the car serviced at another dealership nearby my place. Couple months ago, a warning for adaptive cruise control failure popped up on my dashboard and has been there since then. Since I never use the cruise control, I figured I'd just wait till I get my car serviced again to get it checked out.
My car recently hit 15000 miles so last week I took my car in for service (oil change) and was told that the express service guys can't help me look at the problem with the cruise control so the adviser scheduled a regular service for me this Saturday. After the express service last week, I was told that my rear shock absorbers are leaking also and they will look at it when I bring it in today.
I brought my car to the dealer to get it checked out today, and was told that the rear shock absorbers that's leaking don't fall under the warranty. I asked the adviser that since the part isn't supposed to fail within a year and half and 15000 miles why is it not covered? I was essentially told that since the part isn't supposed to fail that quickly I must have done something to break it so it isn't covered. By that logic what is the point of having warranty? If any part fails they can just cliam "oh it isn't supposed to fail so you must have done something and borke it:"
For issue with the adaptive cruise control, they told me that they need to do a diagnostics to figure out which part is causing the issue. If the part that's causing the issue falls under warrnty and they'll fix it for free. If not, they are going to charge me $210 for just the diagnostics alone.
I was also told that the extended warranty I had purchased from the from the SoCal dealership is through a third party and that third party isn't a partner with the NorCal Honda so it's basically useless.
I left my car at the dealership to do the diagnostics and I am waitinfg for them to call me back. I am just so frustrated with this whole situation and I need some advice on how I should proceed. If they call me back and tells me the part that is causing the adaptive cruise control to fail doesn't fall under warranty what should I do? Also what can I do about the whole third party extended warranty situation?
I apologize for the long post and any help is appreciated!

It’s not really important to detail everything of the next few weeks, word did spread that the Walkers were leaving again, of course, there was no way to keep that secret. Packing had to be done, after all, and arrangements for the house had to be made.
There was simply no way to keep our going ‘completely quiet’. So the neighbors started to come by asking questions.
“Should we leave too?”
“Am I going to end up with more bits of shrapnel in my kitchen?”
“Do I need to get more stuff to patch bullet holes?”
“I assume we go to the same hotel as last time, or will it be a different one?”
It was frequent enough that we held another ‘neighborhood barbecue’ where William explained over sizzling meat and a mix of real beer and that abomination to all civilized species ‘non-alcoholic beer’ that, “You are in no danger. We are leaving for a government assignment, but it is not one that puts any of you at anymore risk than yesterday or the day before. I promise, there won’t be any crazy masked gunmen showing up and disturbing the peace.”
William’s reputation was one of truthfulness, and it probably didn’t hurt that making sure the neighbors were safe had been a priority last time.
‘Last time… for the sake of the void… how many shenanigans are we supposed to get involved in?’ I asked myself that question while sipping on a very large ‘wood bottle’. This was a wonderful innovation in alcoholic beverages. Instead of ‘glass’ this ‘wood’ actually added a wonderful earthiness to the beer, making it smoother and far more full bodied than the glass counterpart.
It had its drawbacks, of course, if you didn’t want that added flavor, you had to use glass, but I found it to be positively delectable, if a little ‘thicker’ than my usual preferences.
I had a great fondness for ales, particularly the more ‘aggressive’ ones with an immediate sort of bite to them. They weren’t to be ‘chugged’ like the bland and fizzy ones that had all the kick of a sleeping toddler. No, no, these powerful ones were meant to be ‘swigged’. You take one big swig at a time, savor the richness, the full flavor, the taste, and the feel of it going down.
It’s about here I should mention that ‘beer clubs’ and ‘bourbon buddies’ were starting to gain popularity among dlamisa.
It began with the Ballyball League of Earth and Dlamias. As part of their training for the sport, teams ‘ran’ a great deal, and they learned of an ancient Earth organization that survived through the centuries called the Hash House Harriers, ‘drinkers with a running problem’ as they are popularly known.
These organizations around the world would lay out trails and follow them in search of alcohol at various stopping points. They would drink together and have a grand old time, and be rather intoxicated by the end of it all. From this my people innovated various ‘fan clubs’ for certain alcohol organizations that would sponsor their runs in exchange for filming their gatherings.
Naturally I set up a few gambling options for people to bet on my players during training, but out of these grew specific off-field rivalries which were now starting to spread to my home world, usually run out of coffee establishments.
This might be the thing that made someone decide to put me at risk. I will probably never know the answer to that one.
It didn’t matter. Not really.
I was standing there among my friends, family, neighbors, with warmth and welcome, with the smell of good food cooking and people wishing me well on my ‘business trip’ and I knew I was doing the right thing.
This was the reason, this was the point of it all, to bring ‘this’ not just to me, but to everybody.
Every drop of blood that spread in my arena, every credit that flowed into my exponentially growing cooperative organization… all of it was serving this single purpose. ‘I will see my will done. I will bring it all down.’ I vowed and took another swig from my bottle. Latunde was telling a joke, and I huffed politely.
A good man, a good neighbor. And a surprisingly good actor considering he ran a feed store, his pretend police situation when we were making our evacuation a few years ago was really well done.
But I couldn’t pay attention to jokes right then.
I went back into the house and up to Fauve’s room. I knocked, “Come in.” She answered.
I expected this, she was never particularly social, and didn’t care for large gatherings of people. I still wasn’t the biggest fan of those, but…alcohol makes everything much easier.
“Hi.” I said, poking my head in without entering. “How are you?”
She was seated at her terminal, pounding away at ‘nothing’. But she had a virtual headset on so there was ‘something’ to her.
“Fine. I’m just taking care of some things. Writing out some notes, researching the Praeda species that we’re going to meet, writing my will, breaking up with my girlfriend, the usual sort of thing that happens every…single…time I think life is going to finally come out of warp and let us relax.” She said it with such deadpan humor that I almost missed it.
“I’m sorry.” I said and slipped into the room, closing the door behind me, I went and sat down on her bed.
“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong.” Fauve answered, though she didn’t take her attention off her work. “This is just more of the usual, and if anybody is to blame, it’s me. I could have faded into the background. I could have just let everything go back to normal. I could have just shut my mouth after everything was over the first time… but no. I didn’t. I didn’t and now I can’t have a moment’s peace or normalcy. I had to be media personality, a speaker, a filmmaker a….” She trailed off and slapped her palms down on the desk. “I did this to myself. Now I’m going to be alone again because I just can’t say no. Michael is going to lose years with his friends. You’re being thrown back into god knows what, mom and dad are… no, they’re fine, to them this will be a vacation, if anything.” She sighed.
“My point is, Bailey, you don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m just, I’m stressed out a little.” Fauve said to me and I swallowed hard and nodded.
“I know what you mean.” I said, I chose not to mention the pseudo-attempt on my life, but added, “This is a disruption to my life too, and… a lot of things are going to change, even if things go well, maybe ‘especially’ if they do.” I got up and went to put my hand on her shoulder.
Fauve leaned back, rocking her chair so that it hit my waist, her head was against my fur, “And I don’t think I did anything wrong here but… I’m sorry that things aren’t as easy for you as you deserve. I mean that.” I promised.
She cracked a smile beneath her headset.
“Yeah, yeah, well it’s not like space is boring. No human has ever been out that far before, so we get to be a first… but even so? I’m tired of having to end relationships over work. It happened with Halbert, it happened with… wait… has it ever not happened that way?” Fauve stopped and thought that over.
I wasn’t surprised she referenced her first romantic interest. Humans tend to template all later relationships on the basis of their earlier ones, and Fauve tended to be hyperfocusd on what she was engaged in at any given moment, so I wasn’t surprised that she would never have really looked at how something over ‘played out’ in the end. Not until she had a reason to.
“Wow… yeah… everything always ended because of something work related… if not mine, then theirs. Damn.” She sighed as that understanding hit home.
Humans have in my observations, a tendency to blind themselves to what is happening, they don’t always see underlying causes for what goes awry in their lives, and as such they may miss patterns that will not be missed by other species. It makes them interesting to be around, at least.
“I’m taking a long vacation when I get back.” She promised herself and slumped. “Maybe I should sell the rights to that game series and turn my attention to something new… I…” Fauve shook her head, “Bailey, do you think it’s possible to be too career focused?”
I squeezed my hand on her shoulder a little nad cocked my head. “You’re asking me that question? Fauve, I came here on a fifty year doctoral program, I’m the last person you should ask that question.”
She was quiet for a moment before she quipped, “Alright, that’s fair. But after this is over, I’m definitely taking a break. Maybe I’ll just rewrite this breakup note and explain that because of work that we need to ‘go on a break’ no questions asked after I get back.”
It was of course possible that the other person would ‘move on’ and there was nothing to come back to when Fauve did return, however this did leave the possibility open at least. “I think that’s wise.” I said with a gentle voice.
“You should invite them to Waterland Park with everybody else.” I suggested, but Fauve shook her head.
“No. No. I have to face this one on my own. If I can walk in there and walk past that place without a problem, on my own, I can finally put the last bit of that bastard behind me.” She said it with such iron resolve that it was hard for me to imagine she wouldn’t be able to do it.
“You won’t be alone, you know that.” I reminded her.
She smiled again.
“That’s not quite what I mean, Bailey… but thank you. I still have some work to do here, but, would you be a friend and bring me a beer while I finish this up… and maybe a hamburger?” She asked.
“Sure thing, Fauve.” I said, and left her room again.

Hi! Does anyone know of any venues near downtown (restaurant, bar, gallery, museum, rental house, outdoor space…anything) that host private events and allow hosts to bring their own alcohol/food (e.g., cans of beeseltzer, some party snack trays).
I’m planning a low key, fun wedding welcome party the night before my wedding next summer in downtown Grand Rapids, and would like to host an informal gathering with some drinks and snacks for guests to mingle the night before the wedding. It would likely be a large group of 100+ on a Friday night.
I’m finding that most venues require a professionally catered baapproved caterers. Obviously, that makes sense for them from a liability perspective, and Fridays are a high earning night for bars and restaurants, so I do understand why they do it.
But it means that hosting a casual welcome event is starting to add up to the cost of a second wedding event (venue rental, catering, bar, bartenders, 22% service fee + 6% sales tax on everything)!
We’d be totally fine with just having a space and a bunch of coolers of drinks and snacks for friends to casually drop by and say hi.
Does anyone know of any places near downtown GR that might allow this? Thank you!

I purchased a 2022 Honda Civic from a dealership in Southern California last March. I live in Norther California so I have been the car serviced at another dealership nearby my place. Couple months ago, a warning for adaptive cruise control failure popped up on my dashboard and has been there since then. Since I never use the cruise control, I figured I'd just wait till I get my car serviced again to get it checked out.
My car recently hit 15000 miles so last week I took my car in for service (oil change) and was told that the express service guys can't help me look at the problem with the cruise control so the adviser scheduled a regular service for me this Saturday. After the express service last week, I was told that my rear shock absorbers are leaking also and they will look at it when I bring it in today.
I brought my car to the dealer to get it checked out today, and was told that the rear shock absorbers that's leaking don't fall under the warranty. I asked the adviser that since the part isn't supposed to fail within a year and half and 15000 miles why is it not covered? I was essentially told that since the part isn't supposed to fail that quickly I must have done something to break it so it isn't covered. By that logic what is the point of having warranty? If any part fails they can just cliam "oh it isn't supposed to fail so you must have done something and borke it:"
For issue with the adaptive cruise control, they told me that they need to do a diagnostics to figure out which part is causing the issue. If the part that's causing the issue falls under warrnty and they'll fix it for free. If not, they are going to charge me $210 for just the diagnostics alone.
I was also told that the extended warranty I had purchased from the from the SoCal dealership is through a third party and that third party isn't a partner with the NorCal Honda so it's basically useless.
I left my car at the dealership to do the diagnostics and I am waitinfg for them to call me back. I am just so frustrated with this whole situation and I need some advice on how I should proceed. If they call me back and tells me the part that is causing the adaptive cruise control to fail doesn't fall under warranty what should I do? Also what can I do about the whole third party extended warranty situation?
I apologize for the long post and any help is appreciated!

I purchased a 2022 Honda Civic from a dealership in Southern California last March. I live in Norther California so I have been the car serviced at another dealership nearby my place. Couple months ago, a warning for adaptive cruise control failure popped up on my dashboard and has been there since then. Since I never use the cruise control, I figured I'd just wait till I get my car serviced again to get it checked out.
My car recently hit 15000 miles so last week I took my car in for service (oil change) and was told that the express service guys can't help me look at the problem with the cruise control so the adviser scheduled a regular service for me this Saturday. After the express service last week, I was told that my rear shock absorbers are leaking also and they will look at it when I bring it in today.
I brought my car to the dealer to get it checked out today, and was told that the rear shock absorbers that's leaking don't fall under the warranty. I asked the adviser that since the part isn't supposed to fail within a year and half and 15000 miles why is it not covered? I was essentially told that since the part isn't supposed to fail that quickly I must have done something to break it so it isn't covered. By that logic what is the point of having warranty? If any part fails they can just cliam "oh it isn't supposed to fail so you must have done something and borke it:"
For issue with the adaptive cruise control, they told me that they need to do a diagnostics to figure out which part is causing the issue. If the part that's causing the issue falls under warrnty and they'll fix it for free. If not, they are going to charge me $210 for just the diagnostics alone.
I was also told that the extended warranty I had purchased from the from the SoCal dealership is through a third party and that third party isn't a partner with the NorCal Honda so it's basically useless.
I left my car at the dealership to do the diagnostics and I am waitinfg for them to call me back. I am just so frustrated with this whole situation and I need some advice on how I should proceed. If they call me back and tells me the part that is causing the adaptive cruise control to fail doesn't fall under warranty what should I do? Also what can I do about the whole third party extended warranty situation?
I apologize for the long post and any help is appreciated!

In this nearly life-size statue made of white limestone, Horemheb is seated on the right side of Horus, who places his right arm around the king’s waist. The god’s left hand is holding the sign of life.
The two figures greatly resemble each other. Both have bare upper bodies and wear the short ritual kilt and the double crown. The king is also wearing the striped royal headdress and a false beard. On first inspection, the sculpture appears to be in a perfect state of preservation, but this is deceptive.
Horemheb ascends the throne at a complex transitional moment in Egyptian history when, with the “heresy” of Akhenaten over, there is a return to the cult of Amun under Tutankhamun. Because the latter dies young and without heirs, after Ay’s reign it is Horemheb, supreme leader of the army, who takes the crown.
The statue has been extensively restored in modern times and several parts were added: the two outer arms and the feet of both statues, the left hand, beard, and the tip of the nose of the king, as well as the beak of the falcon.
The appeal of this work lies particularly in the contrast between the traditional rigidity of the overall modelling on the one hand and the face on the other, the style of which has been largely determined by late Amarna art.
The realism with which the anatomical details have been represented and the retaining of the portraiture despite the idealizing nature of the piece are a continuation of the art of king Akhenaten. All in all, this sculpture seems to bring us closer to the personality of the forceful statesman Horemheb more than any other of his portraits.

Throwaway because I don’t want this tied to my main account.
I’ve been apart of this community for many years. In the beginning I was determined to get high streaks and change my bad habits of PMO, but as time went on I reverted back to my old self and didn’t keep up with you guys anymore. For the majority of my life I’ve had little to no dating experience, and have only had sex a handful of times in my life. It was never something I went out of my way for, but the extremely long gaps between people and little to no experience in and out of bed leaves me feeling stunted to the whole concept of being with a partner. I filled those gaps with PMO to help fulfill that aspect of my life, but deep down I knew it was only hurting me in the long run. I’m almost 30, and I’m coming to grips with a problem that I have. I have this combination of performance anxiety and delayed ejaculation that leaves me unfulfilled whenever I have sex with someone. I could chalk it up to a variety of different reasons. I grew up catholic and didn’t have any kind of formal sex education and I think I might have foreskin issues and not realize it. Maybe it’s a lack of testosterone. 80% of all sexual experiences I’ve had with people involved a copious amount of alcohol so maybe that’s to blame. I’ve even considered the possibility that I might just be gay and not realize it. I don’t know what to think, but what DO know is that my use of pornography over the years has definitely contributed to my performance anxiety. The lack of sex ed leads me to believe that I’ve developed a death grip that a woman couldn’t replicate. This realization that I needed to get my shit together happened not too long ago. I’m friends with this girl and I have a really big crush on her. We ended up planning a weekend trip, and after a long night of bar hopping we got back home and we ended up having sex. As you could imagine I was overtly excited at the time, but after a few minutes of going at it I couldn’t keep an erection and there was not much to go off of from there. I made sure that she got off and we went to bed. The next morning I was glad at the fact that we had sex, but I was crushed that whatever underlying issue I have stopped me from finishing myself. The majority of my sexual encounters were normally one night stands with girls I didn’t date, but this girl was different. I had everything I ever wanted right in front of me and I fucking blew it(again). And then of course the minute I got home you know what I decided to do? I beat off. Just to release all of that tension I had from the other night I couldn’t perform. And once I got done I thought to myself, ‘why the fuck is it so easy for me to do this with myself and not with another person?’ That’s the moment I finally realized that I had a problem. That I needed some sort of change in my life to overcome this obstacle. How many more people am I going to let down in the future because I can’t overcome my addiction? How many more times am I going to let myself down? Right then and there I decided no more. I’m done. I need to take charge of my life. As I write this, I’m 13 days clean. Anytime I get the urge to relapse, I simply recall all of the let downs I’ve had in the bedroom to motivate me to stay on track of my goals. After researching symptoms of low testosterone I’ve decided to include a supplement to help out. As for the foreskin thing, I understand that I need to talk to a doctor, but I’m active duty and I’m afraid that their first notion is just circumcision. I’ve only hear horror stories about adults getting that done and honestly that’s not the route I want to take. If I bring it up, there’s a chance I won’t have a say in it and that I’ll get separated for not complying so I’m doing what I can on my own for the time being. This post is in no way shape or form asking for medical advice. I’ve tried talking about it on sex and ask men but my posts always get deleted so I’m figuring it out on my own. To finish off the post, this girl and I aren’t anything more than friends. I would love the possibility of having someone to ‘practice’ with as my day counter reaches and surpasses 90 days, but I don’t know how to bring it up without her thinking that I’m just using her for sex. Don’t get me wrong, if we never have sex again it won’t bother me at all, but without confirming that I’ve gotten over my delayed ejaculation issues will only have me worried the next time I find myself with a partner. I just don’t have anyone else in my life that I feel comfortable sharing this with or that would possibly understand. I’ll sit on it for a few months and see how I feel then. This turned into a very lengthy post, and I’m grateful to you for reading the entire thing. I’m sorry if I vented, but I love this community and just want to contribute. There’s very few posts on success with DE, but the few that I’ve read have definitely helped with the motivation I need. I wish you all the best, and I’ll be sure to be a more active member on my main account. I owe it to this community for all of the help I’ve gotten over the years.

I'm bringing my 11 year old child who has ADHD on my cruise and debating registering them for camp ocean. Can I cancel the registration at any time or only bring them only for a day or two depending on the activities schedule?

Hey dads,
Hopefully this is an appropriate place to post this and ask for suggestions. I know this is a little late with it being two weeks away, but I'm losing my mind asking my husband for help with the dads every year. I'm not a parent and my husband's family didn't really do gifts growing up, so I really need some help. I've looked in the parenting and dad subs, but can't find many posts about father's day gifts.
This is a little long, but please stay with me if you have the time. I'm probably overthinking it, but I want to start giving the men proper gifts they can enjoy. Maybe my expectations are too high and men don't really care, but my dad and grandpa's always seemed to, so I'm reaching out for help.
Each mother's day, I (f30) gift the same present to the moms in our life, as there are around 15. They all love that it's a tradition and it's the same gift for them all, though the designs, colors and words are different. Their friends at church and around town all love the tradition as well, and always look forward to what they get each year lol. Some of the men have commented on how much thought goes into the mother's day gifts, so I would like to start doing it for them as well. Preferably, a gift I can put together (see what I've done for the women below) and isn't too pricy for a bulk order. They seem to appreciate the tradition and displaying it for everyone.
My dilemma is, the gifts I think of for the men all just seem lame and inconsiderate compared to what I do for the ladies every year. We have around 15 men to gift items to every year, and I expect it to increase over the years, as I plan to foster or adopt. Currently, we gift to our dads, grandpa's, siblings, uncles (+ greats), a few cousins we spend time with regularly and our best friends. It might be too over the top for some, but I enjoy celebrating the parents in my life, as I've learned so much from them and hope to be able to integrate it into my own parenting, if I'm ever able.
My mom always gave such heartfelt gifts to my dad and grandpa's growing up, all picked out individually and unique to their interests.
One grandpa was native American and embraced his heritage with native decor, so that's typically what he got and displayed it around their home.
Another grandpa fished and loved his old Ford tractor, taking it to shows all while us kids were growing up, so he always got gifts related to that.
My other grandpa cherished the family farm and grounds, his tractor and keeping the grass mowed, so we always did gifts relating to that or spend a weekend, helping do yardwork and work around the farm.
My husband and I are having our deck taken out and having a patio porch built this summer, so I plan to do ladies brunch and cookout for the men in the future, but would still like suggestions, as I plan to continue to do the gifts for everyone.
*Please do not suggest alcohol - it's fine for my husband's dad & step-dad, but it just isn't something my family gave as gifts growing up.
What I've done for the women in the past: ● Hanging baskets & shepherd's hooks ● Royal icing cookies of flower boquets, flower arrangements, ones with the words mom, grandma, aunt, etc. ● Garden flags ● Fruit & veg baskets of their individual favorite produce during covid ● Garden decor - those metal sunflowers that have a bird feeder where the seeds are on real ones, small concrete garden decor like benches, plaques, stones, etc. ● Bird feeders or those hanging treats shaped like birdhouses and such, made our of birdseed
Things I've been suggested for the men: ● Nail clippers ● Beard/mustache comb ● Alcohol/beer ● Experiences, such as lunch or dinners, outings with them (but there are so many people we gift to, so I'm lost here unless anyone has suggestions) ● Socks, etc. ● Coffee mugs (most don't drink it & have a million tumbler cups) ● Yard tools, equipment, shop tools, etc.
If you've stayed with me this long, I appreciate you endlessly. I will take any suggestion, big or small, as the thought put into picking and packaging it matter the most. I just want them to feel thought of on this day celebrating them and be able to display their gifts if they want.

Hey everyone,
Hopefully this is an appropriate place to post this and ask for suggestions. I know this is a little late with it being two weeks away, but I'm losing my mind asking my husband for help with the dads every year. I'm not a parent and my husband's family didn't really do gifts growing up, so I really need some help. I've looked in the parenting and dad subs, but can't find many posts about father's day gifts.
This is a little long, but please stay with me if you have the time. I'm probably overthinking it, but I want to start giving the men proper gifts they can enjoy. Maybe my expectations are too high and men don't really care, but my dad and grandpa's always seemed to, so I'm reaching out for help.
Each mother's day, I (f30) gift the same present to the moms in our life, as there are around 15. They all love that it's a tradition and it's the same gift for them all, though the designs, colors and words are different. Their friends at church and around town all love the tradition as well, and always look forward to what they get each year lol. Some of the men have commented on how much thought goes into the mother's day gifts, so I would like to start doing it for them as well. Preferably, a gift I can put together (see what I've done for the women below) and isn't too pricy for a bulk order. They seem to appreciate the tradition and displaying it for everyone.
My dilemma is, the gifts I think of for the men all just seem lame and inconsiderate compared to what I do for the ladies every year. We have around 15 men to gift items to every year, and I expect it to increase over the years, as I plan to foster or adopt. Currently, we gift to our dads, grandpa's, siblings, uncles (+ greats), a few cousins we spend time with regularly and our best friends. It might be too over the top for some, but I enjoy celebrating the parents in my life, as I've learned so much from them and hope to be able to integrate it into my own parenting, if I'm ever able.
My mom always gave such heartfelt gifts to my dad and grandpa's growing up, all picked out individually and unique to their interests.

• One grandpa was native American and embraced his heritage with native decor, so that's typically what he got and displayed it around their home.
  
• Another grandpa fished and loved his old Ford tractor, taking it to shows all while us kids were growing up, so he always got gifts related to that.
  
• My other grandpa cherished the family farm and grounds, his tractor and keeping the grass mowed, so we always did gifts relating to that or spend a weekend, helping do yardwork and work around the farm.
  

My husband and I are having our deck taken out and having a patio porch built this summer, so I plan to do ladies brunch and cookout for the men in the future, but would still like suggestions, as I plan to continue to do the gifts for everyone.
*Please do not suggest alcohol - it's fine for my husband's dad & step-dad, but it just isn't something my family gave as gifts growing up.
What I've done for the women in the past:

• Hanging baskets & shepherd's hooks
  
• Royal icing cookies of flower boquets, flower arrangements, ones with the words mom, grandma, aunt, etc.
  
• Garden flags
  
• Fruit & veg baskets of their individual favorite produce during covid
  
• Garden decor: those metal sunflowers that have a bird feeder where the seeds are on real ones, small concrete garden decor like benches, plaques, stones, etc.
  
• Bird feeders or those hanging treats shaped like birdhouses and such, made our of birdseed
  

Things I've been suggested for the men:

• Nail clippers
  
• Beard/mustache comb
  
• Alcohol/beer
  
• Experiences, such as lunch or dinners, outings with them (but there are so many people we gift to, so I'm lost here unless anyone has suggestions)
  
• Socks, etc.
  
• Coffee mugs (most don't drink it & have a million tumbler cups)
  
• Yard tools, equipment, shop tools, etc.
  

If you've stayed with me this long, I appreciate you endlessly. I will take any suggestion, big or small, as the thought put into picking and packaging it matter the most. I just want them to feel thought of on this day celebrating them and be able to display their gifts if they want.

(from oca.org)
Saint John, Metropolitan of Tobolsk and All Siberia, the Wonderwonder, in the world was named John Maximovitch, and he was born in the city of Nezhino in 1651. His father Maxim Vasil’evich and mother Euphrosynē had seven sons, of which John was the eldest. Upon his completion of the Kiev-Mogilyansk College (afterwards the Kiev Spiritual Academy), the future hierarch emerged from it as a teacher of the Latin language. Thereafter, in 1680, he accepted monasticism at the Kiev Caves monastery and became absorbed in inner spiritual activity. With the general consent of the brethren, the young monk was given the obedience of preaching. From this period he demonstrated an exceptional eloquence. He attached a special significance to inner religious knowledge. The chief theme of his life can be defined at a stroke as, “How ought man to conform his will with the will of God?” He developed this theme both in his preachings, and in his subsequent missionary service. In answer to it appeared the work, published towards the end of his long ascetic life, and entitled Heliotropion or Sunflower, or Conforming the Human Will to the Divine Will. Of the many works of the holy Fathers of the Orthodox Church, this work gives a very thorough answer to this great question of Christian soteriology.
In 1688 they sent him on a mission to Moscow. There he was appointed by Patriarch Joachim (1674-1690) as vicar of the Briansk-Svensk monastery, which was then under the Kiev Caves Lavra.
Saint Theodosius, Archbishop of Chernigov, in 1695 shortly before his own death (February 5) appointed Hieromonk John as Archimandrite of the Chernigov Eletsk monastery, and designated him as his successor as bishop. (Saint John revered the memory of Saint Theodosius, believing in the power of his prayerful intercession before the Lord. Because of his faith, he received healing from a serious illness through the prayers of Saint Theodosius. At the very height of the sickness, Saint Theodosius appeared to him and said, “Serve tomorrow, you will be well.” On the following day Saint John, completely well and to the amazement of everyone, served the Divine Liturgy. This miracle of Saint John’s healing marked the beginning of the veneration of Saint Theodosius as a grace-bearing saint of God.)
On January 10, 1697 Patriarch Adrian of Moscow and All Rus (1690-1700) consecrated Archimandrite John as Bishop of Chernigov, in the Dormition cathedral of the Moscow Kremlin.
Upon entering into the administration of the diocese, Bishop John created a Collegium near the archbishop’s cathedral, similar to the Kiev Academy, which the saint intended should serve as an “Athens at Chernigov,” a school of pious enlightenment.
In view of its high level of theological education and training, Saint John’s school received wide renown. In essence, this was the first seminary in Russia. Seminaries on the model of this one began opening in other dioceses of the Russian Church.
The saint also later opened a printing press, at which he and his successors published many works of spiritual and moral content.
The life of Saint John was illumined by lofty virtues, and especially humility. It is reflected also in his works, The Moral-Didactic Reflector (Chernigov, 1703 and 1707); The Alphabet, with Rhymes Added (1705); The Virgin Mother of God (1707); The Theatre, or Moral-Didactic Disgrace (1708); Excursus on Psalm 50 (Chernigov, 1708); Excursus on the “Our Father” and “The Eight Gospel Beatitudes” (1709); The Royal Way of the Cross (Chernigov, 1709); Thoughts on God to the Benefit of Right-Belief (1710 and 1711); Synaxarion Commemoration on the Victory of Poltava (1710); The Pilgrim (in manuscript); Spiritual Thoughts (Moscow, 1782).
At Chernigov in 1714 the saint also first published his chief work, written in the Latin language. It was a peculiarity of the graduates of the Kiev school that they wrote their works in classical Latin. Professor I. A. Maximovich in 1888 translated the Heliotropion into the modern Russian language and published it at first in parts in the “Chernigov Diocesan Newsletter”, and later on in a separate book (Kiev, 1896). With his name is connected also The Latin-Greek-Russian Lexicon.
Saint John was known to have connections with Mount Athos. He had a special interest in the fate of Russian inhabitants on the Holy Mountain, and sent them substantial material aid during these difficult years. His archbishopal grammota to the Russian monastery of Saint Panteleimon has been preserved, and it testifies to his concern for those on Mount Athos.
On August 14, 1711, after his elevation to the dignity of metropolitan, Saint John arrived at the see of Tobolsk and All Siberia. The saint concerned himself constantly with the enlightening of his diocese. There he continued with his work, started at Chernigov. He improved the school which had been opened by his predecessor, the renowned missionary Metropolitan Philotheus (Leschinsky, + 1727), and he continued the apostolic preaching among the pagans of Siberia, converting many thousands to Christ. In 1714 Saint John set off to Peking to head a mission with Archimandrite Hilarion (Lezhaisky). At Tobolsk he again undertook publishing activity, using the printing press he set up at Chernigov. To this time belongs also the publication by Metropolitan John of the Heliotropion in the Slavonic-Russian language (1714), so that the Siberians could also understand it.
The chronicler describes the life of the saint in Siberia: “He was quiet and unpretentious, graciously considerate, sympathetic to the poor, and merciful.” He often helped people secretly, and sometimes in the garb of a simple monk, he would bring generous alms to the homes of the needy saying, “Accept this in the Name of Jesus Christ.” His home at Tobolsk was always open to all those in need of help or a word of comfort. Even on the day he died, June 10, 1715, after Divine Liturgy Saint John had set up a dining-hall at his home for the clergy and the impoverished, and he himself served at table. Later on, having taken his leave of everyone, the saint withdrew to his chambers. When the church bells rang for Vespers, he died at prayer on his knees. The saint was buried in the chapel of Saint John Chrysostom at the Tobolsk Dormition-Sophia cathedral.
Saint John has long been venerated in Siberia. In light of numerous miracles and the longstanding local veneration of Saint John, in 1916 the Church established the all-Russian celebration of the saint on June 10, the day of repose.
Saint John’s memory is fervently kept by Siberians and by all the believing Russian people. He at present rests in the Tobolsk cathedral of the Protection of the Mother of God. The service to him was republished, with the blessing of His Holiness Patriarch Alexis I, by Metropolitan Bartholomew (Gorodtsov) in 1947 at the city of Novosibirsk.
Troparion — Tone 8
Instructor of piety, nourisher of orphans, helper of the afflicted, unmercenary physician of the sick, speedy helper of suffering souls, fervent intercessor with the Lord for all. O Hierarch Father John, entreat Christ God to save our souls.
Kontakion — Tone 2
You were shown as a light for those in the darkness of ignorance, a comforter of widows and orphans, and a wondrous physician of the infirm, instructor of children and youths, most radiant joy for parents. O Hierarch Father John, pray to Christ God to grant our country confirmation in the Faith; victory to our armies over our enemies, and great mercy to His people.

To put it simply, my grandma is an alcoholic. A severe alcoholic. She hasn’t had an easy life by any means, she was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in her late 30s/early 40s, her husband was an electrician and was electrocuted to death before I was born, amongst a plethora of other difficulties.
I live with my grandma and have done since 2013, at which point she seemed to be falling deeper and deeper into a pit. As of now, she’s lost all her independence and relies heavily on the support from myself and other family members. I’m all for supporting her, I love her to infinity and beyond but it seems like recently she’s become lazy more than anything. We have to do EVERYTHING for her, and I mean EVERYTHING, from washing and folding her laundry to cleaning her dishes up after she’s eaten. I don’t expect her to get out and mow the lawn, or walk to the shops for groceries but she literally does nothing. She’s 64 at the moment and her life just evolves around drinking. A couple of times a week she will get one of our neighbours to help her over to his and sit and drink spirits whilst she’s there. He’ll bring her home absolutely hammered to the point she’ll fall. She’s already had numerous falls and dislocated her soldier, fractured her femur bone in the past couple of years.
Whenever she doesn’t see him, she seems to make progress and get on top of things, but it always sets her back when she comes back from his. I’ve made it very clear that I don’t think this is fair but she twists things and say’s im trying to control her life and i’m not happy because she has a guy friend. It’s not that, I really couldn’t care less but I don’t think it’s fair that I have to work full time, pay board, do everything around the house and then have to deal with her stumbling over and making nasty remarks.

Context behind the post

In recent light of some of the newer brawlers being added (RT & Hank), a lot of people have been complaining that Jacky is outclasded in every aspect and there is no reason to use her nowadays, she is essentially dated.

Jacky on release

On release, Jacky was incredibly broken, not only because players were unfamiliar with dealing with brawlers that ignore walls when attacking (closest thing at the time being Barley), but because her speed gadget also had a significantly more impactful speed boost than it does nowadays.
However, one of the biggest issue immediately noticeable with Jacky was her super. Back then, whenever you used your super with Jacky, you would be unable to move, pull in all brawlers, and get a shield along with the super.
On paper, this is not a bad idea, Jacky is a brawler who NEEDS enemies to be close to her. On execution however, this was a terrible super as being unable to move was just too big of a downside on a game like Brawl Stars for it to ever be useful, 9 times out of 10 you would HURT yourself more by using Jacky's super than if you just did not use it.

Super Rework

On September 2021, Jacky's super finally said goodbye to both the inability to move, and the delay between the super and you being able to begin attacking again (no cooldown). Only 2 days after this change, Jacky received some emergency nerfs.
Jacky was initially outright broken with this change, some people arguing that it is not fair that she got nerfed so quickly, but in my opinion, a brawler not being meta for so long does not justify having that brawler be meta purposely for a long period of time, let alone in need of an emergency nerf.
About a month later on November, she would then go and receive another nerf to her super, this one removing the damage reduction shield her super provided her.
After this, Jacky was only ever buffed two times up until now, one buff being a buff for HHH, and another damage buff.

Rosa

Jacky was ridiculously strong when she got her super reworked no doubt about it. But a lot of people are confused on why she then went on and received another additional nerf that removed the shield from Jacky's super.
The reason is simple, Jacky was just too similar in play style to Rosa, effectively giving players zero reason in competitive at the time to ever play Rosa as Jacky too had a shield, accompanied with a pull and attacks that completely ignored cover, alongside too a Star Power that punishes enemies for fighting back.
Essentially to put it simply, Supercell had the choice between neglecting Rosa or nerfing Jacky in hopes that she would still be good without the shield - they went for the latter but it didn't quite work out as well.

Why Jacky likely won't see a shield again on her kit

To make a comparison and try to explain the situation - Think of the Night Witch in Clash Royale. For those of you unaware, the Night Witch is a card that upon death, it summoned two additional troops. This ability was just simply too strong when paired up when other troops so the dev team had been on a cycle between adding and removing then readding and reremoving the ability. Currently now trying out just her spawning 1 bat on death.
The problem with this card is that this is an ability that was meant to be one of the defining factors of the card, to outright remove it should not be the permanent solution because then the whole point of the character is essentially thrown away.
Jacky has this problem too, but a little bigger. The shield was intended to be a major part of her kit on release, it was supposed to make up for Jacky being so vulnerable after using her super, but it is also at the same time what made Jacky so good and viable when reworked. Alas, another brawler already has this ability for a super, it wouldn't make sense to have two brawlers with the same abilities.
Because of this, I doubt that the dev team will be able to take a similar approach as the team on CR is attempting with the Night Witch, to try to find a sweet spot. So then, what can be done about Jacky if this fundamental factor about her is gone?

Map alteration, rotation, and possibly regrowing grass

Thankfully, there is a little bit of hope. Jacky is a brawler that is greatly affected by things like the map rotation, being usually very bad overall but having her niche maps like Canal Grande where she is unironically a really strong pick.
This is one of the solutions that the dev team has clearly been following - changing maps every now and then to complement for Jacky and similar brawlers as they please. Then adding things such as unbreakable walls, too.
Another factor is map alteration, what I essentially mean with this is the rebuild gadget. Unfortunately this gadget is very weak right now, but a good way to possibly help Jacky become a viable pick in a lot of maps and make her her own kind of brawler who can now bring back cover would be buffing the radius of rebuild. Maybe slowly over time to see how this affects Jacky.
I'm not too sure exactly as to why they have been refusing to buff this gadget, but hopefully within the next balance changes we will be seeing some buffs to this and other neglected gadgets.
And finally, I think it is time if we start wondering the following: Is it time for regrowing grass to make a return? For those unaware, regrowing grass is essentially this feature where "normal" grass back in beta would regrow after a few seconds. Whereas "dead" (yellow) grass woud never regrow once destroyed.
Bringing back regrowing grass would hopefully be a great way to shake things up in some maps here and there, giving shorter ranged brawlers more chances to get close and personal.

Overall

Jacky cannot have her shield back because it would make Rosa utterly useless. So these are some proposed changes to help her out:

• Increased rebuild radius by 100% (correct me if math is wrong and this is like an absurd radius), or to be a part of her next main attack.
• Map rotation changes, maybe unbreakable walls tweaks here and there.
• Regrowing grass added back to the game, either in the form of a modifier, or just by having regular grass have some form of glow or something to signal that it can regrow, doesn't have to be all the grass on every single map.

Let me know your thoughts on this!

Hey Dr. K,
I just started up with your online coaching program for imposter syndrome and I nervous, but excited to approach this with the mindset of talking it as a problem. I'm also seeing a therapist to get a valid understanding of the roots of my internal negative experience to life. I'm trying HARD to figure out how to get over the hurdles presented by the title of my post.
To provide a bit of background on my issues. Growing up, I live in an incredibly irresponsible and neglectful household. Both of my parents are addicts of there chemical of choice. My dad's is alcohol and my mom's is stimulants/opiods. As you can expect, it wasn't easy for them to figure out how to be a good parent and be addicted to these things. At the end of it all they decided that they would give up and let their children fend for themselves. There were times where we didn't have any groceries in the house, we'd lose power, or we didn't have access to necessary school supplies. This did not happen because of financial inability, it happened because they would dive deep into their vices to the point where we didn't exist. Basically, child neglect cranked up to 8 (I can't say 10, because someone always has it worse, but it was pretty damn bad). The oldest sister would also try to step up to the plate and make things as best as they could, but at the end of the day there was only so much they could do and having a consistent rotation of mothers caused a lot of difficulty for me and I presume most children. I experienced this situation from when I was 3-10 yrs old and I say that, and those schema were fully and deeply believed until I was 22 yrs old. I'm 24 now and I am doing better, but I just want to live in internal peace. (Heads up im the youngest of 4 older sisters. the 2 have managed to build an awesome life for themselves, but the youngest are still trying to figure stuff out.) Anyways, I was isolated from a young age, because I wouldn't want to bring anyone over to my home if it was like that and my sisters didn't want to host. There are ALOT more details to the story like witnessing trauma but I can't overwhelm with you all that, because I don't think you want to read a full auto biography haha. So, with what I've experienced, what do you think would be an effective approach for dealing with schemas that have been implanted from birth of worthlessness and isolation, even when I've managed to become a rocket scientist that is excelling at my work. (I don't feel like that last statement is true, but I know it is true, because my bosses have told me many times that I am coming up with good ideas and am worth investing in.)
I know the post is a bit all over the place, I have difficulty structuring it all, because it seems like all the information connects back and forth like a tangled, yet organized web. I hope you can get a general level of understanding from my explanation.
I hope you all have a good day and a good time making life a better thing to experience.

Tigers reached 18th win May 14
Sox May 20th
Guardians May 13th
Twins May 4th
​
We understand you are frustrated and want to bag on your team, but please some stop acting like our Royals aren't that different. pythagorean expected wins suggest four of us suck and the Twins are underperforming but the Royals are 5 games worse than their expected wins, that brings us no comfort.

Looking for guidance on radar cruise issues.
I have a 2019 tacoma, about 90k miles. Pretty much all original.
Using radar cruise almost daily for my 75 mile commute.
It will occasionally bring me to a screeching near stop on the interstate. Like 80 to 25 in a flash.
Recently on a 3 hour highway drive the radar cruise turned off and tha dash said "radar cruise unavailable". 5 min later I was able to turn it back on.
Thanks in advance!

A DEFECT IN NEUROLOGY, NOT A DEFECT OF HUMANITY ADHD: A National Crisis
2023
To Larrakia Country I write to you from the lands and home of Larrakia, in the Northern Territory, which I am grateful to call my home too. Their elders, leaders and children are the owners and protectors of this land and its stories and songs. I am grateful for their hospitality and grace, considering the intolerance and violence that they continue to endure. I dedicate my work and myself to support their stewardship, in whatever role I am asked.
To my sons You are incredible people already. This is one of the biggest things I think I will ever do to make the world you are growing up in a better place than the one I was born into. We have already endured so much together, yet you go from strength to strength. The Blue Witch’s days are numbered.
To E, A, J, M, Ki, N, P, B, Ke, and all the Spirited Children Some might think I paint a bleak picture in this document. You all know this isn’t even the half of it. You deserve the life you want to lead, anything less is a failure, and should be unacceptable to all.
To Dad, Star, Cat, Moh. It is a comfort to know you are somewhere better, when we are left here.
A DEFECT IN NEUROLOGY, NOT A DEFECT IN HUMANITY ADHD: A National Crisis
Abstract ADHD is the biggest and easiest dealt with human challenge of our time. It is a debilitating impairment, that is lifelong and brings no inherent benefits or superpowers. It has likely been a part of hominid neurology for 300,000 years, and in that time it has been systematically rejected by genetic evolution as an enormous set of risks to the survival of the human race. It brings earlier death, more disease, isolation, hopelessness. Making the people who live with it even more remarkable. I have seen neglect, abuse, cruelty and ignorance that would make Dickens blanch. ADHD is routinely rejected, shunned and left in-addressed by Psychiatrists, Paediatricians, Nurses, Teachers, Judges, Police, leaving families in ruins, good and vibrant people be turned to husks, and children as young as 7 turn to suicide.
Not understanding it, not treating it costs our economy $20.5baud a year, if not more.
The need for a national effort to tackle the challenges is paramount to the future success of all Australians.
Self and Evidenced Truths.

1. People with ADHD deserve recognition as living beings with rights, dignity, and aspirations despite our impairments.
   
2. Fundamental to those rights, dignity and aspirations being observed we deserve guaranteed access to our medications, support, workplace arrangements and other accommodations across our lifespan.
   
3. ADHD is a current and emerging Australian national crisis that demands immediate response in kind.
   
4. ADHD is a chronic neurodevelopmental and psychiatric disorder that impairs many aspects of living, at all points of the lifespan (Faraone et al., 2015).
   
5. People diagnosed with ADHD face higher risks of other neurodevelopmental disorders, of suffering child abuse, experience school exclusions and engagement, discrimination, financial predation, other mental health problems, physical disorders, substance use, accidental injuries, chronic health problems and premature death, including suicide attempts and completions. Children are twice as likely to die by age 10, adults are 5 times more likely to be dead by age 25 (Barkley et al., 2022).
   
6. Stimulant medications should be used as soon as possible and practicable following a diagnosis. Several Stimulant medications are safe and effective for treating ADHD and for preventing many adverse outcomes. Non-Stimulant and Non-medication treatments are less effective. (Storebø et al., 2015).
   
7. ADHD costs Australia $20.4 billion per year in lost productivity, wellbeing, and public services (Deloitte Access Economics, 2019).
   
8. There is a need for more awareness, education, and training explaining what ADHD is, as many people with ADHD remain undiagnosed and untreated due to ignorance, bias, or incompetence (Faraone et al., 2019).
   
9. Australia’s attitude towards ADHD costly, uncoordinated, and unfair. This harms people with ADHD in multiple ways, such as limiting their ability to manage their symptoms, increasing their financial burden, and reducing their social support (Australian Clinical Practice Guidelines for ADHD Working Group, 2022).
   

As a Matter of Urgency

1. The Commonwealth Government must fund a co-designed national awareness campaign for ADHD, highlighting its medical nature, the importance of early and persistent intervention and its impacts across the lifespan, and all aspects of modern life as a matter of priority. a. With particular focus on key peak bodies; Australian Health Practitioners Registration Agency and its members, the Australian Council of Unions and its Members, Australian Curriculum Assessment and Reporting Authority Curriculum, Australian Chamber of Commerce and Industry, Australian Finance Industry Association, Law Council of Australia, Police Federation of Australia, Universities Australia, and Australian Council for Private Education and Training.
2. The Commonwealth Government must expand the professions that can screen, assess and diagnose ADHD to include Teachers, General Practitioners, Mental Health Nurse Practitioners, Midwives and Remote Area Nurses, as well as expand telehealth options for remote areas.
3. The Commonwealth Government must establish a national framework for ADHD assessment and support that clarifies roles and responsibilities of different agencies and ensures seamless transitions across life stages and reduce costs for government.
4. The Commonwealth Government should mandate that bachelors, postgraduate degrees, and Community Service certificates and diplomas in health sciences, enrolled and registered nursing, education, community health, criminal and industrial law and allied health fields include compulsory modules in ADHD, co-designed with people with ADHD.
5. The Commonwealth Government must delist methylphenidate, amphetamines, and their various formulations as Schedule 8 drugs and relist them as Schedule 4, they must also expand Medicare and PBS coverage for ADHD medication to include all people with a diagnosis of ADHD. This would reduce the stigma and discrimination associated with ADHD medication use as well as simplify the prescription and dispensing process for people with ADHD and their prescribers.
6. The Commonwealth Government must fund presentation sensitive research on ADHD and its comorbidities, as well as presentation responsive training for anyone who cares for, educates, works with, or employs people with ADHD.
7. The Commonwealth Government must direct new training and mentoring programs for practitioners, staff and community and health service delivery areas, focusing on Peri-Natal Services, Daycare and Primary School staff. Rationales Personal Experience My personal experience is as a father of a child with ADHD and as a sufferer of undiagnosed ADHD myself. My professional experience with government, hospitals, mental health, drug and alcohol case management, and the elderly, has led me to being an Advocate.

I suffered countless unnecessary medical, emotional, economic hardships and injustices throughout my life because of my undiagnosed ADHD. As a child I experienced routine ridicule, shame, and punishments. I was regularly abused and excluded by teachers, both immediate and extended family, peers, and random members of the public, verbally and physically. For symptoms, colloquially and incorrectly referred to as behaviours, of my Combined Presentation of ADHD. Combined Presentation of ADHD means that I have both inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive symptoms. Symptoms are the observable signs of ADHD, such as difficulty paying attention, being easily distracted, fidgeting, talking excessively, not saying much, daydreaming, working memory issues, etc. Symptoms that informed my personality and identity, that I was targeted for, abused for.
As I grew up, contrary to popular belief that ADHD symptoms get better as people age, the effects of my undiagnosed ADHD quickly got worse. The lack of access to university due to needing to work to support myself and look after my ailing father put me in unskilled retail positions, which became administrative positions before accidentally falling into Community Services. Through those careers, the constant workplace bullying and harassment prior to my diagnosis, needing to leave positions that were constantly either short contract or put up for recruitment where my skills, knowledge and wisdom meant nothing has left me with a colourful and varied career. The experience is nice but puts me at a significant disadvantage as I get older. My undiagnosed ADHD made it possible for me to perform well in different jobs. But as I juggled time management, organisation, communication, and self-regulation I would be burnt out as I self-medicated with work, and I would become expendable. Less time in positions, less experience, less expertise, less money, less able to provide for my family, less able to take part in society.
Despite my experience with health systems and supporting disabilities, my son who is 5, is facing similar barriers already and he is aware of himself. Being unable to access practical support for his disability, medication has been rationed as though we should be grateful to be receiving any assistance at all. We are 6 months post the last review, and the practitioner we saw last, hopefully mistakenly, provided us with incorrect information. Both his school and education department in the Northern Territory refused to allow therapists into the school to do observations without onerous and impractical limitations, not least of which was opposing observations in classes which effectively means no inclusive practices. It has come to the point where, to conserve his and my own mental well-being we will have to close his plan out. This shows how the education system continues to fail to accommodate the needs of children with ADHD and violates their right to inclusive education, and not much has changed in 30 years.
The emotional and physical toll of everyday life with ADHD and past traumas makes life an ongoing struggle. My Combined Presentation ADHD, physically, is managed, but even that is tenuous. My health is up in the air, as getting regular reviews with a psychiatrist is impossible, despite the medication I am on being perfectly safe and the prognosis of my condition is unremarkable while on medication. Regular reviews with a psychiatrist are essential for monitoring my medication dosage, side effects, and effectiveness, as well as for addressing any other mental health issues that I endure. You’ll need to start another Inquiry before I talk about those though.
ADHD has meant more serious consequences, and harder to rectify situations: homelessness joblessness, discrimination, isolation. I am still standing but am never safe from them. These are some of the ways that ADHD, diagnosed and undiagnosed, has impacted my life. Due to the lack of recognition, respect, dignity that I deserve as a person, disability or not. I received my Diagnosis less than 3 years ago and already I have experienced the best stability and success I have ever had. In this 3 years I have been homeless, unemployed, suffering severe trauma and depression. All dealt with alone.
My NDIS application is now 18 months into its appeal. I wonder if it will survive longer than the AAT?
ADHD assessments and diagnosis: Children and adults with ADHD often face various gaps and barriers in accessing appropriate assessment, diagnosis, and treatment services for their condition. These include lack of awareness and recognition of ADHD among health professionals and the public; stigma and discrimination associated with ADHD; variability in diagnostic practices and criteria; limited availability and accessibility of specialist services; high out-of-pocket costs for diagnosis and treatment; lack of coordination and integration of care across different sectors; insufficient monitoring and evaluation of treatment outcomes; and lack of evidence-based guidelines and quality standards for ADHD care. These gaps and barriers contribute to the underdiagnoses and under treatment of ADHD in Australia and limit the potential benefits of early intervention and quality care.
ADHD management: Qualified and experienced practitioners who can assess and diagnose ADHD in children and adults are in short supply, especially in rural and remote areas. This leads to long waiting times, inflated costs, and inconsistent quality of assessments, and cascading health outcomes. People with the Inattentive presentation of ADHD, which is predominantly girls and women, face significant gender bias in ADHD assessments, support services and research. This leads to under recognition, misdiagnosis and inadequate treatment and supports of both inattentive presentation ADHD and female-specific issues related to ADHD. Different sectors and levels of government fail to coordinate and integrate their support services for people with ADHD. This creates gaps, overlaps and confusion in accessing education, health, disability, and social services. The National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS) staff, and feeder service staff incorrectly prevent and discourage people with ADHD as a primary disability from making access requests. This flows to review mechanisms, including the Australian Administrative Tribunal. This excludes and isolates many people with ADHD from accessing not just NDIS support, but any support at all. Many people with ADHD cannot afford or access ADHD medication, especially those who are not eligible for Medicare or PBS subsidies. This limits their treatment options and affects their quality of life.
The impact of ADHD on individuals, families, and society: Children and adults with ADHD have a significantly reduced life expectancy and are more likely to die prematurely from various causes, such as accidents, suicide, cardiovascular disease, cancer, and substance abuse. The reduction in life expectancy ranges from 9 to 13 years for people with ADHD compared to those without ADHD. The risk of premature death is higher for those with more severe ADHD symptoms, comorbid disorders, and untreated ADHD. In Australia, this means that (statistically) about 1,900 deaths per year would be attributable to ADHD, but further study would be necessary to investigate. Children and adults with ADHD are more likely to suffer from various chronic physical and mental health conditions, such as obesity, diabetes, hypertension, asthma, allergies, sleep disorders, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, personality disorders, substance use disorders, and antisocial behavior. These conditions can impair the quality of life and functioning of people with ADHD and increase their health care costs and utilization. In Australia, the annual health system cost of ADHD is estimated to be $546 million. Children and adults with ADHD face various economic challenges and disadvantages, such as lower educational attainment, lower income, higher unemployment, higher poverty, lower productivity, higher criminality, higher health care expenses, and higher social service costs. The annual cost of ADHD to the Australian society is estimated to be $20.4 billion, which comprises $12.8 billion in financial costs and $7.6 billion in wellbeing costs.
Awareness of ADHD: ADHD is not a result of poor parenting, low intelligence, or moral weakness. ADHD is a lifelong condition that can persist from childhood to adulthood and affect various aspects of life. The importance of recognising ADHD as a genetic, neurological medical condition, requiring medication as a first line of successful management, and not a behavioural issue, cannot be overstated. Health professionals, educators, employers and the public lack awareness and understanding of ADHD, which causes stigma, discrimination and underdiagnoses of ADHD. Research funding for ADHD in Australia is inadequate, which hampers the development of evidence-based practice guidelines, interventions, and policies for people with ADHD. This also limits the opportunities for innovation and collaboration in addressing the challenges posed by ADHD. Children with ADHD typically receive a disproportionate percentage of school based harassment, both from peers, and education staff. Routinely EAPs are formulated in opposition to recommendations made by specialist practitioners, and children are severely punished for not meeting the often odious or impossible goals. Detentions, responsibilities, suspensions, supervision and expulsions are common place. In the classroom, ignorant and unqualified teachers harass students and parents to stop behaviours they, from no basis, deem developmentally inappropriate. Time off to be with the excluded children is often supported by employers, higher education facilities, until they decide that enough is enough. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder that has a strong genetic basis. ADHD is associated with structural and functional differences in the brain, especially in the regions involved in attention, executive function, emotion regulation and reward processing. ADHD is also influenced by environmental factors that can affect gene expression and brain development. The name ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is inadequate and misleading for several reasons. First, it implies that the core symptoms of the disorder are only attention deficit and hyperactivity, while ignoring the causal and key features such as impulsivity, emotional dysregulation, and executive dysfunction. Second, it suggests that attention deficit and hyperactivity are always present and equally severe in all cases of ADHD, while ignoring the heterogeneity and variability of the disorder across individuals, subtypes, and contexts. Third, it conveys a negative and stigmatising view of the disorder as a deficit or a problem, while ignoring the strengths and potential of people with ADHD.
Conclusion The writing is on the wall, whether you read it or not is irrelevant to its truth; improve the outcomes for people with ADHD and the entire nation will benefit, go on ignoring its magnitude and we will continue the cycle again, until the next generation finally addresses it. Addressing it represents net savings for the Commonwealth Government, and the states and territories. I think we could find other ways to spend $7 billion dollars than on badly managing ADHD in Australia.
I am happy to answer more questions or speak to any of the points raised herein.
References: Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press. Biederman, J., Faraone, S. V., Monuteaux, M. C., Bober, M., & Cadogen, E. (2006). Gender effects on attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in adults, revisited. Biological Psychiatry, 59(12), 1123-1131. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2005.12.036 Doshi, J. A., Hodgkins, P., Kahle, J., Sikirica, V., Cangelosi, M. J., Setyawan, J., Erder, M. H., & Neumann, P. J. (2012). Economic impact of childhood and adult attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in the United States. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 51(10), 990-1002.e2. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jaac.2012.07.008 DuPaul, G. J., Weyandt, L. L., O’Dell, S. M., & Varejao, M. (2009). College students with ADHD: Current status and future directions. Journal of Attention Disorders, 13(3), 234-250. https://doi.org/10. 1177/1087054709340650 Efron, D., Sciberras, E., Hassell, P. (2015). Are Australian children with ADHD being adequately treated? Archives of Disease in Childhood, 100(10), 914-916. https://doi.org/10. 1136/archdischild-2014-307467 Faraone, S. V., Asherson, P., Banaschewski, T. et al. (2015). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Nature Reviews Disease Primers, 1, 15020. https://doi.org/10. 1038/nrdp. 2015. 20 Faraone, S. V., Banaschewski, T., Coghill, D. et al. (2020). The World Federation of ADHD International Consensus Statement: 208 evidence-based conclusions about the disorder. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 108, 1-18. https://doi.org/10. 1016/j.neubiorev. 2019. 11. 022 Garg, S., Lillystone, D., Dossetor, D. (2018). Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: an update for paediatricians. Journal of Paediatrics and Child Health, 54(2), 120-125. https://doi.org/10. 1111/jpc. 13717 Kooij, J. J., Bijlenga, D., Salerno, L., Jaeschke, R., Bitter, I., Balázs, J., … & Stes, S. (2019). Updated European Consensus Statement on diagnosis and treatment of adult ADHD. European Psychiatry, 56, 14-34. https://doi.org/10. 1016/j.eurpsy. 2018. 11.001 Le, H. H., Hodgkins, P., Postma, M. J., Kahle, J., Sikirica, V., Setyawan, J., Erder, M. H., & Doshi, J. A. (2014). Economic impact of childhood/adolescent ADHD in a European setting: the Netherlands as a reference case. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 23(7), 587-598. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-013-0495-0 Nigg, J. T., Greven, C. U., & Wilmot, B. (2015). Neurodevelopmental problems: an overview. In A. Thapar, D. S. Pine, J. F. Leckman et al. (Eds.), Rutter’s child and adolescent psychiatry (6th ed., pp. 1-14). Wiley Blackwell. Russell, A. E., Ford, T., Williams, R., & Russell, G. (2019). The association between socioeconomic disadvantage and attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): a systematic review. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 50(3), 487-503. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10578-018-0842-6 Sayal, K., Prasad, V., Daley, D., Ford, T., & Coghill, D. (2018). ADHD in children and young people: prevalence, care pathways and service provision. The Lancet Psychiatry, 5(2), 175-186. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(17)30167-0 Sciberras, E., Mulraney, M., Silva, D., & Coghill, D. (2014). Prenatal risk factors and the etiology of ADHD—review of existing evidence. Current Psychiatry Reports, 16(1), 431. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11920-013-0431-3 Taylor, E., Döpfner, M., Sergeant, J. et al. (2004). European clinical guidelines for hyperkinetic disorder—first upgrade. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 13(Suppl 1), I7–I30. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-004-1002-x Coghill, D. R., Banaschewski, T., Zuddas, A. et al. (2011). European guidelines on managing adverse effects of medication for ADHD. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 20(1), 17–37. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-010-0140-6 Deloitte Access Economics. (2019). The social and economic costs of ADHD in Australia. https://www2.deloitte.com/content/dam/Deloitte/au/Documents/Economics/deloitte-au-economics-social-costs-adhd-australia-270819.pdf Australian ADHD Professionals Association. (2019). The social and economic costs of ADHD in Australia. https://aadpa.com.au/the-social-and-economic-costs-of-adhd-in-australia/ Doshi, J. A., Hodgkins, P., Kahle-Wrobleski, K., Erder, M. H., & Gericke, C. A. (2020). Social and economic costs of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder across the lifespan: a systematic review and meta-analysis. PharmacoEconomics, 38(11), 1205-1222. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40273-020-00958-8

I feel like I’m doing everything wrong.
I’m still breastfeeding my 2 year old and I’m ready to wean completely. I’ve breastfed him since day one and he’s always co slept with me. So this is going to be so hard. I don’t even know where to begin. I work full time so he only breastfeeds when we get home from work and daycare, and when he’s going to sleep.
My husband and I don’t sleep together. Literally. He sleeps on the couch and has for over a year. That’s the only way he’s comfortable and can get rest because our baby sleeps with me in our queen size bed.
My husband and I have sex maybe twice a month if we’re lucky. He works a lot but kids don’t allow us time for us and I can’t be intimate with crying kids on the other side of the door. With that, I feel we argue a lot. In every single argument he throws out “if you ever gave me any” even if it has nothing to do with the fight. He has even said this the night after sex. It infuriates me.
My husband’s drinking is beginning to get out of hand, once again. We’ve gone through this so many times and nothing seems to stay permanent. It’s an endless loop that I’m getting tired of dealing with. I come from an alcoholic family so it’s always bothered me but he doesn’t seem to want to understand that. He thinks as much and hard as he works, he deserves to drink regardless of how I feel about it and the fights it brings.
I’m just tired of all of this.

Summary: Since high school, listener is fascinated by Captain Moore. After years of education and training the listener joins the Captain Moore's crew. Captain Elizabet Moore is the founder and one of the key members of the "Expedition Program". Thanks to this program mankind discover new galaxies, resources and new ways to continue life. Captain Moore's ship sets a new course and starts the journey. The listener prepares the reports that the captain wanted and brings them to her room
Usage: You are free to use this script wherever you like as long as you credit me. I would love to listen the finished audio, please don't forget to send a link
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(Listener knocks the door)
Come in!
(Listener comes in. He is holding a tablet)
Is there a problem?
(Listener hands the tablet to captain)
Oh, these are the reports I wanted. Thank you but you don't have to bring them to me directly. Just upload it to...
(Pause)
Wait, you are the new guy, right?
(Listener nods)
It's nice to meet you.
(They shake hands)
Sorry, what was your name again?
(Pause)
Oh, right! Now I remember. You wrote that article about next step in human evolution, right?
(Listener nods)
That was amazing. I have to say you have a great background. Especially at your age, achieving all those things must have been exhausting for you.
(Pause)
I'm kind of suprised that you joined us. I mean, with a background like that you could have got yourself a desk job. You don't have to work too hard, comfortable environment and it pays well. Don't get me wrong our ship is big and comfortable but our job is very demanding. Being away from everything and everyone for months is not for everyone. I have seen many people couldn't handle it and they had to give it up. Let's hope that you won't regret it.
(Pause)
Well, I'm glad you are with us. Like I said I was really impressed with you. Having a talented individual like you in our crew is fantastic. I hope to learn new things from you.
(Pause)
Oh, you flatter me. Yes, I am more experienced but sometimes experience is not enough. Sometimes all you need to solve a problem is a different perspective. There are some things I would like to hear from your point of view.
(Pause)
Well, since this is your first mission, would you like me to explain how things work? Or you can listen newcomer program on your tablet and learn everything about protocols, how stuff works, etc.
(Pause)
You want me to explain it to you. Okay, then. Why don't you grab a seat. Get comfortable. Go ahead and sit on the couch over there. Just wait a second while I grab my tablet.
(Captain grabs her tablet from her desk. Comes to the couch and sits next to listener)
First of all, when I need something from you I'll send you a request. Here, let me request the files I've asked again.
(Pause)
See, your tablet just lit up. It means that there is a new request. It might be from me or the other crew members. If you aren't at your room or don't have the tablet with you, your biowatch will vibrate. I'm sure you know how biowatch works.
(Pause)
Yes. Basically, it monitors your stress level, blood sugar, heart rate, oxygen and it informs and notifies you about your daily duties. If any anomaly occurs in your body, if you get sick for example, your biowatch will turn red and send a message to our doctor. In that situation you have to visit Doctor Brown immidiately. The sick bay is on the first floor. After doing a quick check-up doc will give you your prescription. Your biowatch will notify you about your situation. Is everything clear?
(Pause)
Good. Now for the files, reports or any other written stuff that requires my or other crew members permission. You don't have to go to them. Here, let me show you.
(Captain gets closer to listener)
Look, everyone is connected to ship's system. Just find the person you want. In this situation you have to find me. OK, I clicked and opened captain's page. Now, all you have to do is select the files and...
(Pause)
Are you okay? Your biowatch just turned yellow?
(Pause)
It means that your heart rate is increased and you started sweating. Is everything all right? Would you like to see the doctor?
(Listener shakes his head)
Okay, but if this continues, make sure you see the doctor. Now, where were we?
(Pause)
Ah, yes. Sending files. Just like I said after selecting the crew member you want just hit the button and send the files to them. Think this like sending a mail. Just wait a few seconds and...
(Pause)
Look at my screen, it started flashing. Like I said before if I'm away from the tablet my biowatch will warn me. If I'm busy and can't get a chance to look at them, SAM will warn me.
(Pause)
Yes, SAM. Our ship's AI. Ninety percent of the operations are performed by him. Fuel control, food supply, landing, navigation... He is handling it all. I'm sure a smart man like you wouldn't have any trouble doing these but if at any point you get confused about something, you can ask help from SAM. He is very helpful and chatty. Just don't use him as a personal diary, okay?
[Laugh]
There was a brilliant guy a few years ago. He was just like you. He literally fell in love with SAM. He was constantly talking and occupiying him. He is not your love interest nor your companion. Don't distract him because we need him to survive. Is that clear?
(Pause)
Good, we have covered the basic stuff. Do you have any question? Any topic that you need an explanation?
(Pause)
Good. Once again it's good to see you among us. I'm glad that you have chosen to work with me and my crew. With a bright mind like yours, I'm sure people will notice and start talking about you very soon.
(Pause)
You'll see. Don't think that people won't take you seriously because you are young. When the situation arises don't be shy to share your opinion. All the projects you've created, all the articles you've written... Don't forget that you are very valuable. You had a master's degree too, right?
(Pause)
Yes. How old are you by the way?
(Pause)
Really? No way! Are you serious?
(Pause)
That means I'm ten years older than you. My god, I am getting old. I hope you are happy now. You made me feel old!
[Laugh]
No, you don't have to apologize. I'm just joking.
[Laugh]
I remember partying like crazy after getting my master's degree. I drank continuously, non-stop. I think I've tried every alcohol ever known to man. I continued drinking until my body can't handle anymore. I passed out and woke up in a hospital.
(Pause)
Yeah, alcohol poisoning.
[Laugh]
I was wild back then. What did you do to celebrate?
(Pause)
Nothing! Wait, you can't be serious.
(Pause)
I can't belive it. You didn't go to anywhere, you didn't drink anything.
(Pause)
I think it's time to change that. Wait here!
(Captain gets up and goes to her desk)
Lucky for you we are at the early days of our expedition. SAM handles most of the stuff and I stay at the backseat.
(Captain opens one of the drawers and pulls out a bottle of whiskey)
I always bring a bottle of whiskey. I know the rules and regulations about alcohol and getting drunk but I'm the captain. Those rules don't apply to me.
[Laugh]
(Captain comes back to listener. Opens the bottle and fills two empty cups sitting on top of the table in front of them. Gives one of the cups to listener)
Here, take it. Let's make a toast to your academic success and new job. Cheers!
(They drink the whiskey)
Don't worry, it will help you relax. C'mon finish it.
(Pause)
There you go. Here, let me fill your cup.
(Captain fills the listener's empty cup and sits on the couch)
You seem to be more relaxed. Maybe, now you'd like to tell me the real reason you joined this mission.
(Pause)
C'mon, I know it's not money because I'm sure you got job offers that pay more than this.
(Pause)
Right. So... why are you here? What pushed you to join this mission?
(Pause)
What? You need to get close. Why, are you going to whisper it to my ears? Don't worry, nobody can hear us here.
(Pause)
Okay, fine. Come closer then.
(Listener puts his arms around the captain and starts kissing her. Captain pulls her head away after a few seconds)
What are you...
(Listener pulls the captain to himself and kisses her again)
Can you let go of my body?
(Captain gets up and backs away from listener)
Are you for real? You joined this mission so that you can bang me? What am I to you, an eye candy?
(Pause)
You love me? I can't belive this! I just...
(Pause)
Don't interrupt me! Touch me again and I'll break both of your arms. Do you understand me? I don't care where you come from, what did you accomplish. You can't do that.
(Pause)
Stop apologizing! You are not a ten year old and I'm not your mother. I cannot think straight right now.
(Pause)
Look at me! We are going to keep this between us, okay? Don't tell a single word to crew or SAM. Do you understand me? We have a mission that requires our undivided attention. For now, I'm going to act like all of this never happened. After we finish our mission, we are going to talk about this. Is that clear?
(Pause)
Okay, now go!
(Pause)
Please stop apologizing and just go.
(Listener leaves the room. The Captain's biowatch starts to vibrate)
What is it now! SAM... Yes, I know my heart rate is increased. I just got angry, that's all. No need to report it to doc. I'm coming to main deck in a few minutes.
[Deep Sigh]
What am I going to do?
THE END